#really want a bokutowl

[suzumedas]

hm. I want to make. A bokutowl.

[xmyshya]

Congratulations

summary: His assumptions hurt you both. Is there still a chance for you? genre: angst warnings: poor writing? a/n: So I just finished my first ever fic and it just had to be angst. Part 2 is here! wc: 1.4k

„I’ve made a mistake…” He didn’t expect it to actually escape his mouth.

Neither of you knows how you ended up in that situation. Where did you go wrong? Which decision was the first one leading to this doom? Does it even make sense to ask yourselves at this point?

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You still remember the day when you entered that classroom. As a foreign teenager who just moved to such an alien country due to adoption, you were nervous. Actually, nervous was a huge understatement. You kept repeating the formula and spelling of your name, even though you were quite fluent in Japanese. Can’t be too careful, right?

“Hello, I’m L/N F/N, just moved here, so please feel free to point out any language mistakes I might make! Let’s all have fun together!”.

A few giggles here and there, maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad. The seat you were assigned to was in the last row, next to a boy glancing at you secretly, not that you know about it.

Sometime later your brother was summoned to school. Honestly, you were slowly getting bored while waiting for the meeting to finish. Why was it taking so long? Were you doing such a poor job assimilating? Thoughts and worries started flooding your mind, and you were sure it would end up being a massive headache, when you heard agitated voices. Their sweaty owners were wearing tracksuits, and you found yourself wondering which sports club they were in. One of the boys, beefiest and most probably the loudest, stopped and STARED at you. He looked like an owl, you dared to think. And was it your classmate with him?

You only noticed it got so cloudy once raindrops touched your face. How come you were still waiting for that meeting to end? And your brother was the one with the umbrella. You felt a mixture of anger and anxiety taking over you, until a mysterious umbrella was spread over your head. That owl boy again. Was it the first flag of doom?

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It was supposed to be just one year. One last year of high school, and then new school, new environment, new people. Making friends in this particular stage of life wasn’t really a focal point. Instead, you directed all your energy into academics, and it was paying off. It didn’t take long for you to be on top of all 3rd years. Along with your now acquainted neighbour, as it turned out, not only in the classroom (thanks to your brother, who apparently was close friends with him). You also somehow managed to befriend Bokutowl Boy, as you liked to call him, and a few others.

“Okay class, your next assignment is a project you’ll work in pairs on.” One day your teacher announced. “You’re free to pick your partners on your own, I’ll only form one group – Kuroo and L/N – so that the rest of you doesn’t freeload”.

You rolled your eyes at that statement.

“Admit it, you’re secretly happy that you’ll get to see me more.” He mused.

“C’mon, I already see you almost all the time.” You shot back.

“That’s because you can’t get enough of me”

“Oh please, I only do this so I can spend more time with Bokuto.”

Was it a pinch of hurt in his eyes?

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He was clearly avoiding you. Or at least trying. You had an assignment to work on, yet he kept telling you he didn’t have time. So you worked by yourself. He noticed you visiting the library and disappearing in the subject’s section. He saw you asking several clubs for permission to use their equipment for project experiments. He was hurt, yes, but he couldn’t let himself be the freeloader. So when one day he knocked to your room, you were surprised. Even more so, when he apologised while properly bowing.

“I uh… I’m sorry for what I said, that joke was insensitive…”

Your voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper, but he was sitting right next to you, getting ready to work on your report.

“That was a joke?”

He looked at you with his usually hazel eyes, now more golden and glistening with hope. Or maybe you wanted it to be hope.

---------------------

Apparently a rumour about your academic achievements spread fast and far. It must have, because you were currently sitting with Bokuto, trying to tutor him, even though you weren’t even in the same high school. His emo modes when he couldn’t quite understand something at the first try were tiring, but also amusing.

He reminded you of a lit candle, which would have its flame vanquished with a gentle blow. But it was also relatively easy to turn him back into an energetic ball of sunshine, and that never failed to make you giggle. And you were currently trying to calm your laughter and move on with the lesson.

“L/N, aren’t you having too much fun playing the teacher?”

Raven haired boy stood in front of you, one hand on his hip. You were not having this, not this time.

“L/N?” He squatted right in front of you and was now poking your shin. How irritating.

“That’s LADY L/N for ya.”

You looked down on him as you kicked his knee, pushing him onto the ground. You felt slightly irritated, but his mischievous smile made you feel fuzzy inside. You found yourself hoping that the look in his eyes mirrored yours.

---------------------

New Years and its festivals. It wasn’t exactly cold, but also not comfortably warm. Yet all of you met outside to bid farewell to the last 12 months and greet new ones. By then you were close friends, having spent so much time together. This was supposed to engrave them in your heart even deeper, there were so many firsts for you to experience!

First festival, first yukata, first dango, first Takoyaki, first shrine visit, first fireworks since you moved here… You’d never seen so many colours, so many food stalls, so many games and challenges in one place. They all reflected in your eyes, and he couldn’t get enough of that sight. But you didn’t know.

Tired after an intense tour, bellies and hearts full, you decided to rest on a bench near a shrine you had just visited. Honestly there was never a dull moment, even after spending so many hours together you were laughing like idiots.

Suddenly you realised one of your earrings was missing. It wasn’t expensive by any means, but you got it from your friends right before leaving your home country. People already started shifting towards fireworks viewing areas, so you hoped it would make the search easier in the now depopulated alley.

You felt as if you were running around in circles, yet this small piece of jewellery was nowhere to be found. Until you heard Bokuto screaming “I found it!!!”. You turned around towards the owlish boy running towards you, but you noticed something else. In another part of the festival area was Kuroo, apparently being confessed to. Your consciousness started to crumble, with a loud buzz in your ears.

“…like you.” Those words pulled you back to reality.

“Huh? I didn’t quite…”

“I like you F/N.” Bokuto didn’t let you finish. “I’ve always liked you, ever since I saw you in front of your school.”

“I’m… I’m sorry, really sorry, I don’t…” You felt the guilt rising in your chest, but he hushed you.

“I know, hey! Let’s go back to everyone!”

He seemed to be unfazed. You wondered if he really was.

“So uh… congratulations.” You heard Kuroo’s voice right before joining with the rest of the group.

“Huh? What are you congratulating me for?” An ominous feeling filled you at this moment, but you didn’t know the reason. Yet.

“For getting a confession obviously.” He tried to smile.

“Oh, I uh, I rejected it.”

You weren’t sure what to think of his expression. Was it shock? Surprise? Sadness? Frustration, or maybe… You didn’t have much time to figure it out, though. Girl you saw him with a moment earlier appeared, sliding her hand under his arm.

“But congratulations on yours!” You faked a smile, but your heart was being torn to millions pieces.

“I’ve made a mistake…” He didn’t expect it to actually escape his mouth.

[orangiah]

5 things meme

tagged by @deadbirdlife! :D (over a month ago but i always do this)

5 things you’ll find in my bag well you can check out my meet-the-artist meme if you want to know not just five but basically everything you'll find in my bag/on my person but for the sake of this meme:

bokutowl/bokuaka nitotans (unless they're in my pocket instead of my bag) to accompany on my many adventures

i haven't really used my sketchbook for like over a year now but i still bring it with me wherever i can, maybe in the hope that i'll use it again at some point

if i do draw anything by hand it's usually on a loose sheet of paper that i carry in my clipboard case. also useful to have for any papers i might pick up while i'm out

i carry around earplugs and athletic tape/bandaids for taiko, since they're small enough that i can leave them in my bag (and bandaids are useful in general). on sundays i bring my taiko bachi and shinobue to practice

my phone case is a wallet case which i use to carry more frequently-used cards like my ID, metrocard, and primary credit card, but i keep another wallet in my bag where i leave cash/coins, other IDs, credit/debit cards, insurance info, membership/stamp cards, etc

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

an absurd number of books/artbooks/doujinshi/comics. an entire wall of my room is dedicated to books

currently a bunch of moving boxes that i haven’t finished unpacking yet and probably won’t finish unpacking for years tbh

a few real plants and a few fake plants :P i like the idea of a room full of plants but i can only take care of so many and i'm not really opposed to supplementing with fake ones, especially in hard-to-reach places

a fledging little bokuaka shrine that i have many grand ambitions for......

okay wait i’m really excited about this because i recently moved into a new apartment and one of my goals for my room was to make a cozy little under-bed nook but this ended up being a lot more complicated than originally imagined and took like a month of wrangling with furniture weight capacities/materials/budget/help from my ex-structural engineer dad but i finally did it and it’s great

5 things i’m currently into

bokuaka but if you didn’t know that then i’m not sure who you’ve been following

went to a LITE and mouse on the keys concert a few weeks ago so i’ve been re-listening to the setlist a bunch as well as some CDs i bought

for some reason i've also been listening to a lot of ayumi hamasaki lately, digging through my old middle school favorites...

i finally started watching voltron last week okay OKAY FINE

reading paradox blue in japanese! the english scanlations stop halfway through volume 3 and i really want to know what happens -- it’s usually a bit draining for me to read anything longer than 40 pages or so or that involves a lot of non-conversational language, but i’ve been slowly moving along and it’s been good practice

5 things on my to-do list see also: new year's resolutions

HOLIDAY CARDS LOL I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THEM i just wasn't joking when i said they'll be like... early spring cards... or later......

starting up classes again this wednesday so i should probably brush up a bit and review my notes from last semester

i finally bought some bird repellent gel for my balcony because these pigeons have been waking me up every morning and it’s really been messing with my sleep. it’s kind of a pain to climb out there so i’ve been putting it off but they’ve been getting increasingly persistent these past few days so i should probably do it soon

i need a haircut lol

gotta call my doctor about some changes in my insurance and also (separately, but falling under the “calling medical offices” category) schedule a surgery consultation which i’ve been meaning to do for weeks now but i’m a weenie

(sticking this in as a sixth item since it’s semi-private but it’s important enough that i’d feel remiss if i didn’t include it) qkbis expxjz dkhyzxpt yrkppku, igh xp kpb ykjs, yopesjj ho jyklers

5 things people may not know about me

my dad is an ordained reverend (and so am i)

i sort of collect cute candy packaging -- i was pretty intentional about it in early high school, then recently dug up my old collection while moving to my new apartment and instead of doing the sensible thing and throwing it out i ended up keeping it

other things i casually collect: postcards, playing cards, cool hats, cool socks, knives, artbooks, doujinshi, stickers, am i a collector or just a hoarder

things i seriously considered majoring in while i was at uni: english, computer science, psychology, film, religious studies, astronomy (of them all, i probably went the furthest with astronomy). the main reason i ended up doing art wasn’t because i particularly wanted to, but because i ended up spreading myself too thin trying to do everything while also consistently taking at least one art class a semester so it ended up being the only subject i had enough credits in to complete with minimal suffering

i really like singing! i wouldn’t say i’m particularly good or bad at it, but i love going to karaoke, and in high school i spent a lot of my time participating in amateur online song cover groups and learned a bit about audio mixing while i was at it. i’ve posted a few covers on tumblr in the past, but it’s been over a year since my last one so a lot of people probably don’t know about it. i’d like to do more at some point, but it might be harder now that i’ve moved to an apartment (bonus: i live right across from a railway line)

tagging @roboraptor3000 @cmktusa @menopiano @thasali @shun-takei @toondoon-here @aidenmoo @silvercistern @twomilkmen @spacevocals @zorofab @cattletyrants @candide-kun @adropofcolour (as always, only if you want to! if you don’t like being tagged in these sorts of things, feel free to shoot me an ask and i’ll make a note of it. same for if i missed you and you really like being tagged :P)

[atsumus]

hey, just wanted to say you doing the birthday edits is really rad!! i forgot to submit mine for next month when they were open but think it's a super generous thing for you to do and i always enjoy seeing them :) ~bokutowl-chan

Hey! Thanks a lot for stopping by to leave me this sweet message ^_^ And I know this is not exactly likely, but in case you’re still into Haikyuu!! and still know who I am in a half year, I’ll definitely reopen the sign-ups again! Right now I still have 65 gifts left to do, but once I’m done with preparing all of them, I’ll take new submissions ^_^ @bokutowl-chan