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arilevenatz · 2 months ago

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You are

Pairing: pirate!jongho x town girl!reader

Genre: fluff

Word count: 9.6k

Warnings: Violence, kidnapping, abuse (not done by the boys) minor character death, jongho is a shy baby, lmk if I missed any!!

AN: I feel like screaming. This has been in my drafts for more than a year when the 'Everything' MV came out. The MV broke me and I was a crying mess. If y'all couldn't tell, my bias is jongho and I have seen that there are not that many good jongho fics in any platform. So I have taken the initiative. (Even tho idk if it's good or not) Anyway if y'all wanna be tagged just reply with your @ . AND please reblog and like it helps me a lot. I kinda fucked up the ending so y'all are free to imagine whatever the fuck y'all want

Nassau, an island which was claimed by the crew of Halazia. The ship was giant and very beautiful as well.

One slight issue,

It's a pirate ship

The pirates of the Halazia are the most feared of them all. They are known for not having any mercy towards any ship they come across.

Yes, even the ones with a white flag.

But Nassau is an island which is owned by them, so it is common for the people living near the harbor to see them come and go.

I, however lived further in the town, so I have never really seen them. Not that I want to as well. I'm scared they might kill me.

Though I doubt that will happen cause they have never really killed any innocent here in Nassau. Not that I've heard that is.

Waking was hard. Going to greet the family was harder. Answering their dumb questions was the hardest.

They say the youngest kid is always the most loved of them all. Not in our case.

We are big on family. And the worst part? We all live in the same plot, but in different houses. Me, being the youngest child in the house, I'm a personal punching bag.

Stuffs like "your brothers are doing so good, you need to follow them aswell" and "your brothers and sister have taken majors in science, you will too I hope" were normal to me.

Ever since I was young, my mom taught me.

If you wanna live in this house without getting called out every time, you have to fake a smile. Please everyone, child. Because of your father, you have to please everyone.

That was then, but now she has changed. She was forced to do so by these monsters in the name of people. I kinda miss her…

I heard my name being called. Looking at the source I saw my mom.

"I know you just woke up but, can you go to the port market and get us some things?"

"Mom, I just woke up..."

"Listen to your mom kid"

I looked at the source, great, my other aunt. Blinded by the pride of marrying a rich doctor, she thinks she is the head of the family, although she is the youngest sibling of my dad.

"yes yes, she will go, won't you kid?" her eyes pleaded to me, not wanting her child to be scolded in the morning.

"yes ma"

I took the money and left.

Being the youngest, I was always called "kid" or "child". It's weird I know, but i don't even care anymore.

The market's a bit far. I have to cross a little outskirt of a jungle. Though I don't have to cross the jungle, it's still a bit scary. But it's dawn, so it's alright right now.

After the jungle, a little walk by some alleyways and then it's the market!

The market was one of my favorite places to be in. Just look at it! It's so lively and colourful. It's so nice that it can make me forget about home for some time.

Ok let's check the list of items. Chili powder, parsley, biscuits and rum.

Hah! That stupid uncle of mine! How can he make a young girl like me buy alcohol early in the morning?!

I eventually got all the supplies and also got the rum. The shopkeeper was my dad's and uncles's friend so he gave me the rum I wanted, but I doubt he would've if he didn't know me. I mean come on, who gives alcohol to a young girl?!

"That will be ten bronze kid"

I handed him the money when suddenly I heard a high pitched laugh

"jongho, at least try to bargain once in your life! Do you or do you not want to save money??"

Looking in the direction, I saw two men. One has black hair, the other one has black and white hair.

What a strange hair colour...aren't his parents dissapointed?

Both of them are dressed in big tunics and black leather pants. The tunics loosely tucked in their pants.

"shopkeeper-nim, can we get this rum?"

The oreo guy handed the shopkeeper a note, seemingly a list.

"No mates, the last one was taken by this lady here"

He pointed at me. Damn dawg why you gotta throw me under the bus?

It was now when the two men looked at me.

"Aren't you too young to drink?"

"Land Ahoy!!!!"

The booming voice of the first mate who is also the quarter master, can be heard from below the deck. He had just spotted an island. Their island,

Nassau.

Beautiful island, with beautiful people and beautiful owners.

hehe

"Mingi, drop the anchor!"

"done!"

"captain, we need to scavenge", the quartermaster and first mate of Halazia, Seonghwa stated to their captain, the one and only, Hongjoong.

"I'm aware. Is the scavenger team ready?"

"I have already concerned Wooyoung, him and his team are ready to go"

"Good"

"Captain!"

The captain and quartermaster flinched by the voice of the surgeon.

"San! You unruly swine! What if the the captain got scared and let go of the helm?!", the quartermaster scolded the younger guy.

"Seonghwa do you mean that I get scared by small things?"

The two of the other males in the room nodded.

"all of you are scared cats"

"Bitch-"

All three males in the room flinch by the sudden intruder.

"Yunho, do you want me to order Yeosang to cut of your hair in your sleep?"

"Captain it was a joke!!"

"Anyways, captain, I came here to inform you that Mingi needs materials to fix the ship, however, he has work to do, so someone has to go on land with Wooyoung to get the supplies", San, the surgeon states.

The captain has now successfully ported the ship and now can let go of the helm. He turned to his crew and told them to follow him. And he went towards the maindeck.

"Send Jongho. He does not have any work for the time being"

"ok!"

San sprinted away almost in a comical way while muttering something which sounded suspiciously like a "smooth operator~"

The battlemaster was in the arms locker. The giant locker was home to weapons for the battlemaster as well as guns for the master gunner, Yunho.

The battlemaster, Jongho, was busy cleaning his swords. Call him a clean freak but he needs to clean all his swords and cutlasses. Not because he is a clean freak, it's cuz a certain someone will scold him if he does not.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"San are you a child?"

The first mate gets inside the locker and sits beside the younger male.

"I am not, but I know a certain someone is though"

"You swine"

The crew of the Halazia is known as the scariest crew outside, but inside the ship, they all are one braincell sharing idiots.

"Anyways, captain ordered you to do to port and get some stuff with wooyoung-ie" The younger boy looked at the first mate with his boba eyes. "what stuff?"

"mingi needs some stuff to repair the broken and probably for his new invention and shit"

"Ok then”

“meat, coriander, honey, alcohol and maybe some broccoli for the soups"

"Wooyoung, why do you need alcohol? Are you gonna drink again?"

The cook of Halazia, wooyoung and the young battlemaster, jongho are set out for an adventure, an adventure to find the specific kind of alcohol for the surgeon of the ship, San.

"What? No! I am getting it because Sanie asked me to!

This morning, San had barged in the kitchen and asked wooyoung to get a special kind of rum, which helps to clean cuts.

Yeah the young boys have no idea how to find it…

"aren't you too young to drink?" jongho asked the girl they just came across in the shop.

The girl didn't say anything and just stayed silent.

"jongho-ya you scared the poor girl"

"No I did no-"

"you can have it"

Both the males looked at the young girl. She has her hand out and in her hand resides the rum bottle.

"You can have it"

"No no we ca-" jongho was cut of by wooyoung. "sure we'll take it! How much was it again?"

"ten bronze"

Wooyoung handed the girl ten bronze and was about to take off, but jongho held him back feeling guilty. I mean come on, the girl probably had her own hardships buying it, and then she got harassed by his hyung.

The younger guy went and handed 5 more bronze. The girl merely looked at his hand confused.

"sorry, he is just immature"

The girl however still remained silent and immobile.

Jongho waited a few seconds and then took the girl's hand and placed the coins there.

"thank you and...Sorry"

The girl looked at the coins and then looked at him. And then she said "I don't need these extra coins, but in return, you both have to go and buy the alcohol for me”

They do it for the girl. The two men are now inside another store, away from the previous. This store is the only other store which sells alcohol here in the port market. But the owner of this shop doesn't know your dad or uncle, so he will not give alcohol to her as she's a girl. So she cleverly asked the two men to go inside and buy it for her.

Wooyoung hands you the additional bottle of rum with a dramatic flourish, a smirk on his face. "Here you go, little one. Consider this our way of helping you out." He smiles at me, while Jongho looks on, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

You look at him giving you two bottles when you asked for one. “I only needed one tho.....”

"We added one more. Consider it a gift from us. Just... don't tell anyone we did this, alright? We'd be in real trouble if anyone knew” Wooyoung said as he put the bottles in your bag properly. You nod at him slightly.

Wooyoung smiles slightly at your nod "Smart girl. And hey... what's your name? I'm wooyoung, that's jongho. Seems like Nassau's been tough on you, hasn't it? If you ever need anything else-"

jongho slightly nudges him to stop and get back to work. He gently pushes Wooyoung aside before he can offer any more unsolicited kindness to the girl. The last thing they need right now is rumors spreading about us befriending locals.

Jongho shoots Wooyoung a warning look before turning his attention back to you "Remember what we said - keep quiet about this. And stay out of trouble, yeah? Nassau's not safe for little ones like you-" he catches himself realizing how condescending that sounded "-Like-”

“Little ones?” You were offended. You hated when someone called you little. It triggered you so much. You family calling you ‘kid’, ‘child’ was enough, you don't need these two weirdos calling you little.

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly "You know what I mean. Young. Innocent. Uninvolved in pirate life. Just... be careful, alright? We don't want anything happening to anyone”

You wanted to ask why they were so interested in pirate life but they were already turning back.

As Wooyoung and him walk away, jongho can't shake the feeling that he has made things awkward between them and the girl. He glances back over his shoulder, noticing her standing there, holding the extra bottle of rum like a precious treasure. "Woo, did you see that?”

Wooyoung follows his gaze, a thoughtful expression on his face "Aye, I did. She's a tough one, ain't she? For a little thing, she's got guts." He pauses, then adds in a lower tone

"And she's got a way of getting under your skin, too. Mark my words, Jongho - that girl's going to cause us trouble one day." He chuckles to himself, but there's a hint of seriousness beneath his words.

"Let's just hope it's the good kind of trouble.”

Back in the ship, the surgeon, San runs up to them, asking them what took them so long. Woo replied "we had to fight a little girl for the last bottle of rum”. San raises a concerned eyebrow.

“In what world do ‘little girl' and ‘rum’ co-operate in one sentence? That sounds highly inappropriate”

Jongho sighs and shakes his head disapprovingly at Wooyoung's exaggeration. "Don't go spreading tales now. We weren't fighting anyone." He glances at San with weary eyes. "Just... ran into a stubborn lady on an errand.”

San raises an eyebrow skeptically, but his lips twitch in amusement. "'Stubborn lady,' huh? Sounds like someone's been distracted by pretty eyes and a cute face." He teasingly pokes Jongho in the ribs.

Wooyoung covered his mouth with his hands dramatically and replied "no wonder he was not cold but gentle towards the girl. I knew you had it in you!”

Jongho rolls his eyes, trying to maintain his composure despite San's teasing. "Shut it, San. It's not like that. We just didn't want any trouble, that's all." He shoots Wooyoung a warning look, silently telling him to keep his mouth shut.

But it was true, he felt that those eyes held sadness. He has seen war, he has been in dilemmas and has fought with his inner urges. He knows what loneliness looks like. and he saw that in those girl's dull eyes. He stands on the deck watching the sunset paint the sky in fiery hues, but he can't help but replay the encounter with the girl in his mind. The ache in her eyes, the defiance in her stance - it echoes the battles he's fought within himself.

He remembers the way the girl stood her ground, refusing to back down even when faced with two grown pirates.

As the captain, Hongjoong managed more than just his crew; he also oversaw a network of loan sharks. These were the people he trusted with his money, providing them the means to distribute loans in exchange for a share of the profits. Now, it was time to settle. A meeting with the loan sharks of Nassau was pending, and Hongjoong intended to reclaim what was rightfully his.

Rather than meeting on neutral ground, Hongjoong and Seonghwa decided to summon the loan sharks to their ship. It was a calculated move, one that ensured the meeting would take place on their terms and under their control. (Hot men)

The captain’s quarters were cold and dark, the flickering lantern casting shadows across Hongjoong’s features. Seonghwa stood by the door, arms crossed and expression hard, his presence as commanding as the captain’s. The loan sharks shifted uneasily before them, knowing this was not a meeting to be taken lightly.

The lead shark hesitated before speaking, his voice shaking slightly. “Captain, there’s been… a complication.”

Hongjoong leaned forward, his eyes cold “A complication?” he repeated, his voice low and dangerous. “Explain.”

“A man we loaned money to—he fled,” the shark stammered. “Disappeared without paying a single coin. He left behind his wife and daughter in Nassau.”

Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, his fingers curling into a fist on the table. “And you let him run?”

“We didn’t know he would,” the shark blurted out, his words tumbling over each other. “He seemed reliable, Captain. A merchant with steady work. But one day, he was gone, just like that.”

“And the family?” Seonghwa cut in, his tone sharp and unforgiving.

“They’re still in Nassau,” the shark admitted. “The wife claims she doesn’t know where he went, and they’ve got nothing left. No way to repay the debt.”

Hongjoong’s gaze darkened. “You mean to tell me you came here with excuses, no money, and no solutions?”

The shark shrank back, sweat glistening on his forehead. “Captain, we—we thought we could pressure the wife. Maybe—” He hesitated, but Hongjoong’s glare pushed him to continue. “Maybe take their belongings or… use them to draw him out.”

The room fell silent. Seonghwa stepped forward, his voice like steel. “Use them?” he echoed, his lips curling into a cold smirk knowing what his captain will suggest next, “You’re suggesting we drag a woman and her child into this mess because you couldn’t do your job?”

The shark flinched, his voice barely a whisper. “It was just an idea.”

Hongjoong stood, the sudden movement making the shark jump. He leaned across the table, his voice venomous. “Ideas like that will get you killed. You don’t lay a hand on them unless I give the order. Do you understand me?”

The shark nodded frantically, his face pale. “Y-Yes, Captain.”

“But you will go back,” Hongjoong continued, his tone playful but colder now. “You will visit the wife, and you will remind her that the debt doesn’t disappear just because her husband ran. Make sure she understands this is her last chance to cooperate. If she knows where he is, she had better start talking.”

“And if she doesn’t?” the shark asked hesitantly.

Seonghwa’s smirk widened, but his eyes remained icy. “Then you make it clear what happens when people cross Captain Hongjoong. Let her know the weight of the debt will fall heavier if her husband doesn’t show his face soon.”

Hongjoong straightened, his eyes burning into the shark’s. “You don’t come back empty-handed again. Bring me the man, or bring me something of equal value. Do I make myself clear?”

The sharks nodded in unison, fear etched into their faces.

“Good,” Hongjoong said curtly. “Now get out of my sight.”

As the door slammed shut behind them, Seonghwa glanced at the captain. “You think the wife knows something?"

“If she does, fear will make her speak,” Hongjoong replied coldly. “And if she doesn’t, it’ll push the coward into the open. Either way, we get what we’re owed.”

He thinks for a second and then says “ you know what, I don't trust these parasites. Send a mule after them, give me every detail of what they do from now on”

The shark’s anger simmered as he stormed through the winding streets of Nassau. Hongjoong’s threats still echoed in his ears, and his humiliation burned deep. To him, the blame lay squarely with the woman and her child.

“They’ve made fools of us,” growled the shark, his fists clenched. “It’s her fault the captain’s breathing down our necks. If we can’t touch them, we’ll make sure she understands what it means to cross us.”

When he reached the small house with two of his acquaintances, they found it quiet and dimly lit. The lead shark pounded on the door with enough force to make the frame rattle. After a moment, the door creaked open, revealing the wife. Her face paled when she saw the sharks, but she held her ground.

“What do you want now?” she asked, her voice strong but trembling.

The lead shark sneered, pushing the door open wider. “Your lies have caused us enough trouble. We’re done playing games.”

She took a step back, clutching the edge of the door. “I’ve told you everything I know. My husband is gone. I can’t give you what I don’t have.”

Another shark, a burly man with a cruel glint in his eye, stepped forward. “Your daughter—where is she?”

“She’s not here,” the wife said quickly, fear flashing across her face. “She’s out.”

The lead shark smirked, leaning closer. “Good. That makes this easier.”

Before the wife could react, the sharks forced their way inside. She stumbled back, panic flooding her as they loomed over her.

“You’re coming with us,” the lead shark said coldly.

“You can’t do this,” she stammered, her voice breaking. “We’re not hurting you,” the burly shark replied with a twisted grin. “We’re just taking you somewhere else to have a little… conversation.”

Despite her protests, they grabbed her arms and dragged her out of the house, their grip firm but not brutal. She screamed and struggled, but no one was there as they hauled her through the streets and into the shadows of Nassau.

____

You push open the door to your house, expecting the usual comfort of your mother's voice or the warmth of a home filled with the scent of a meal being prepared. But instead, there was silence.

“Mom?” you call out, your voice echoing slightly. You set down the basket of bread and vegetables, but there’s no answer. The quiet stretches on, oppressive, like something’s wrong.

You move through the house, checking the rooms one by one, but it’s empty. There’s no sign of her. Panic starts to creep into your chest, tightening with each passing moment.

As you were looking, you felt someone cover your mouth in a vise-like grip as you trie to claw at him. His thick mustache curls upwards in a cruel sneer. "And what do we have here? The little birdie come back to her nest?”

You try hard to free yourself.

“You think you can run from us?” he sneered, shoving you forward with enough force to stumble you. “You and your mother have been causing enough trouble, little girl. But don’t worry, we’ll make sure you both learn your place soon enough.”

You kick his knees and manage to break free. Just as you reach for the door handle, a large hand cracks across your face, sending you stumbling down. Pain explodes across your cheek and you fall to the floor, dazed and crying. The man looms over you, his fist raised for another blow. "You little brat!”

"Stop!" The lead shark's voice barks out sharply, staying in the second man's hand mid-air. Through your terrified tears, you see him approaching you, his heavy boots thudding against the wooden floor.

“We don’t need more bruises on this pretty little face yet,” he says, his voice almost… amused. His hand lifts, but instead of striking, he just touches the side of your face, his fingers cold and rough against your skin.

You wince, instinctively trying to pull away, but his grip tightens, holding you in place. “Listen closely, little bird,” he continues, his voice dark and low. “We need you to understand something. Your father’s debt? It’s a problem. And we’re not leaving here until we get our money back.”

Your stomach churns at the mention of your father. You try to keep your voice steady, but it cracks. “I don’t know where he is.”

“Yeah, we know,” he replies with a dry laugh, his grip loosening just a little. “Your father’s a coward. He runs and leaves you two behind to clean up his mess.” He leans down, his face just inches from yours. “But that doesn’t matter. Captain Hongjoong’s been clear. We take what’s ours. And you?” His smirk widens. “You’re gonna help us make that happen.”

His words make your blood run cold. Hongjoong. You’d heard of him—his name was spoken with fear and respect, but never this way. They’re using your family as leverage, a pawn in their game, all because of your father’s debt.

“They need you to make sure your father gets the message,” the lead shark continues, standing back up, pacing slowly around you like a predator. “We can’t hurt you… yet. But we’re going to make sure you’re a reminder. Captain Hongjoong is waiting for results. And if that means bringing you along to make your father see reason, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Hongjoong sat in his quarters, staring at the report he had just received from the mule. His eyes narrowed as the words settled in. The sharks had gone against his direct orders, overstepping their boundaries, and now he had to deal with the consequences. The anger bubbled inside him, a sharp, cold rage that left no room for hesitation.

He stood up, the weight of his frustration pressing on him. He couldn’t allow anyone to defy him, especially not when it came to matters as serious as this. The sharks had been sent to handle the situation, to get back the money they were owed—but they’d taken it too far. Taking the girl and her mother? That wasn’t part of the deal.

Seonghwa, who had been standing nearby, watching his captain closely, didn’t need to ask what was wrong. He’d seen this side of Hongjoong before—when his calm, controlled demeanor slipped, and the storm beneath came to the surface.

“Prepare Jongho and Yunho,” Hongjoong said, his voice low but filled with authority. “I want them to investigate. I want to know exactly what those sharks did, and I want them to fix this. I’ll have no one undermining my orders.”

Seonghwa nodded, turning to leave, but Hongjoong stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Make sure it’s handled quietly,” Hongjoong added, his gaze steely. “We don’t need any more attention than we already have. And if they’ve done something unforgivable… make sure they know who’s in charge.”

Jongho, the Battle Master, was known for his strength and discipline. He’d follow orders without hesitation, but it was his ability to keep a level head in intense situations that Hongjoong trusted most. Yunho, the Master Gunner, had a sharp eye for details and a quick wit. Together with a few loyal crew members, they’d get to the bottom of this—and if the sharks had crossed a line, they’d deal with it swiftly.

Jongho and Yunho stood by the edge of the ship, the salty breeze tugging at their hair as they discussed their next move.

Yunho crossed his arms, leaning against the railing. “So, we’re going to investigate what those sharks did… and if they’ve really messed up, we’re supposed to clean up their mess?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Jongho, standing beside him, shook his head with a chuckle. “Seems like it. I don’t think Captain Hongjoong’s happy that they went rogue. Taking the girl and her mother? That’s a whole new level of stupid.” He sighed, glancing out at the horizon.

“I mean, we’re talking about a bunch of thugs who can’t follow orders. What’s next? Are they going to steal the moon?”

Yunho snorted. “If they tried, I’d pay good money to see it. But seriously, jongho, this is a mess. We’ve got to figure out how to handle this without making it worse. The last thing we need is a full-blown war with the sharks because they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.”

Jongho chuckled darkly. “Yeah, because Hongjoong’s ‘fixing problems quietly’ approach works out so well, right?” He paused. “Let’s just hope these sharks haven’t completely pissed him off. I don’t think even we could smooth things over if he’s really that angry.”

He then grinned. “I’ll make sure to bring some extra bandages, just in case.”

Yunho shot him a sideways glance. “What, you think we’re going to knock some sense into them with our fists?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Jongho replied, giving him a smile. “Though, I prefer it when the problem just gets solved with a good ol' conversation. You know, like ‘Hey, don’t take the girl, or I’ll break your legs.’”

Yunho let out a dry laugh. “Sounds like a great ‘conversation’ to me.”

He then smirked at jongho and said, “But you know, I’m always ready to put some holes in bastards. Let’s get to work.” (See what I did there? ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠° )

The air was thick with tension as Jongho and Yunho made their way to the den. They had gathered all the intel they needed and were now ready to end this. The sharp tang of saltwater in the air mixed with the musty, oppressive smell of the building, and Jongho’s grip tightened around the hilt of his sword.

“You ready?” Yunho asked, his voice low, scanning the area.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Jongho replied, his tone steadier than he felt. They moved quickly, slipping through the shadows toward the back entrance of the den. The door creaked open under Jongho’s steady push, and they silently entered.

Jongho and Yunho moved like shadows, circling around the room, eyes scanning for the girl. The moment their eyes met, Jongho felt his heart stop. There she was—tied to a chair, her head lowered. Her breathing was shallow, and her hands were bound tight, but she was alive. She looked up at him, her eyes widening.

Jongho felt his chest tighten. He was shocked. Not because this was her. The same girl he had seen in the market, and now here she was, in the middle of this chaos, helpless. But because he still remembered her vividly. He has never remembered anyone's face other than ill intent. This made his heart do something he didn't like.

He was about to rush forward when Yunho grabbed his arm. “Stay focused,” Yunho muttered, his eyes scanning the sharks. “We’ll get her, but we need to take them down first.”

Jongho nodded, his heart racing. He knew Yunho was right—they couldn’t let their guard down. The sharks were too dangerous, and they had to be neutralized quickly.

In one fluid motion, Yunho drew his gun and fired, sending one of the sharks crashing to the ground. The noise startled the rest of the men, and chaos erupted. Jongho lunged forward, his sword cutting through the air with precision. Each swing was met with resistance, but he wasn’t slowing down.

The fight was quick but brutal, the room filled with the sounds of swords clashing and bodies hitting the ground. Jongho’s eyes searched the girl, and as soon as the last shark was down, he rushed to her side.

“Hold on,” he said, his voice softer now, as he cut through her ropes. She winced slightly as he freed her wrists, but she didn’t say a word—her eyes were locked on him, full of both fear and relief.

“You’re safe now,” Jongho said, his heart pounding as he helped her to her feet. But as he looked down at her, his heart skipped a beat. Her face was streaked with dried tears and blood, she had a busted lip and a bloodied injury on the side of her head. He realized then that this wasn’t just about the mission anymore. There was something about her that tugged at him, something deeper than just a rescue.

She looked up at him, her voice barely a whisper. “Who are you?”

Jongho smiled softly, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotions flooding through him. “Jongho. Battle Master on Captain Hongjoong’s ship.”

Her eyes flickered with recognition. “You… you were at the market.” She hesitated, her voice uncertain. “You… you’re a pirate? Of the Halazia”

Jongho nodded, his heart tightening. “We’re here to get you out of this mess. But right now, we need to move fast.”

She looked around, “But my mom-”

“Yunho will take care of that”

Before she could respond, they heard footsteps approaching. Yunho’s voice was low and urgent. “Jongho, we’ve got to go, now!”

Jongho took her hand gently, pulling her toward the door. As they ran, he couldn’t shake the feeling that his heart had just made a decision he wasn’t sure he was ready for. He had come here to do a job, to rescue her and get out. But somewhere in that chaotic moment, he realized he wanted to protect her.

The door slammed open, and they ran out into the night. Behind them, the sounds of pursuit echoed, but Jongho didn’t care. He would protect her. No matter what it took.

You settled back into the familiarity of home, the creaking of the old wooden floors and the comforting hum of the market outside grounding you after the chaos of recent events. Life was quiet again, though a bit lonelier now. Your mother busied herself with building a shop, leaving you to wander between chores and stolen moments of peace.

Life aboard the ship was as chaotic as ever, but lately, the crew had found a new source of amusement—or annoyance, depending on who you asked.

“Jongho, will you sit down already?” Seonghwa groaned, throwing an exasperated glance at the younger man pacing the deck.

Jongho ignored him, his brow furrowed in thought as he muttered to himself. “I haven’t checked in on her in over a week. What if something’s happened? What if someone’s bothering her again?”

“Again with the girl,” Yunho drawled, leaning lazily against a barrel. “You’ve mentioned her three times today already. You’re worse than Hongjoong’s parrot.”

“Worse than his parrot?” Yeosang, the navigator, asked as he descended from the helm, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Now that’s saying something. I didn’t think anyone could top its constant squawking.”

“Maybe the parrot’s jealous,” Mingi, the boatswain, chimed in as he carried a coil of rope over his shoulder. He dropped it near the mast and turned to Jongho, his grin matching Yeosang’s. “Sounds like it’s got competition for Jongho’s attention.”

Hongjoong, seated at a small table nearby, raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He sipped his drink with a smirk, clearly enjoying the rare sight of Jongho being the center of everyone’s teasing. "I didn't even take my money from her for you"

"captain aren't you like one of the richest people in the 7 seas?" Someone grumbled.

“It’s not like that,” Jongho said firmly, shooting Yunho a glare before turning to Yeosang and Mingi. “She’s been through enough already. Someone has to make sure she’s alright.”

“Someone?” San chimed in, his grin wide. “Or you?”

“Let’s be real,” Wooyoung added with a dramatic sigh. “You don’t just want to make sure she’s safe. You’re attached. Admit it.”

“Sounds like attachment to me,” Yeosang agreed, leaning against the railing with an amused expression. “You’re practically obsessing.”

“I wouldn’t call it obsession,” Mingi said, tilting his head thoughtfully. “It’s more like…” He paused for dramatic effect, his grin widening.

“Infatuation.”

Jongho stopped pacing long enough to shoot them all a sharp look. “I’m doing my job. Protecting her is my responsibility.”

“Protecting her,” Seonghwa said, drawing out the words mockingly. “Or is it something more?”

“I don’t love her,” Jongho snapped, his tone final.

The crew burst into laughter, the sound echoing across the deck. Even Hongjoong let out a low chuckle, finally setting his drink down.

“If you don’t love her,” the captain said, leaning back in his chair, “then stop pacing around like a lovesick puppy. You’re throwing off the entire crew."

“Yeah,” Yunho added with a grin. “Even the parrot’s giving you side-eye at this point.”

Jongho opened his mouth to retort but found no words that would convince them otherwise. Instead, he huffed and crossed his arms, retreating to his post with an annoyed scowl.

Yeosang exchanged a glance with Mingi before smirking. “He’ll realize it eventually,” he said quietly.

“Or we’ll keep reminding him until he does,” Mingi replied with a chuckle.

As the laughter died down and the crew returned to their tasks. Jongho didn’t love her, he told himself. He was just… concerned. That was all. Yes, that's it.

It had been weeks since you’d last seen Jongho. You told yourself you shouldn’t expect him, that he had his own life aboard the ship, filled with duties and battles you couldn’t begin to imagine.

But some small, stubborn part of you always found your eyes drifting to the road outside, hoping to catch sight of him.

And then, one evening, as the sky blushed with the soft hues of sunset, you heard it—the measured, confident sound of boots against gravel. Your heart leapt before you could stop it, and you quickly wiped your hands on your apron, glancing toward the door just as his familiar silhouette appeared.

“Jongho,” you said, trying to sound calm though you could feel your pulse racing.

He nodded, stepping into the doorway. His eyes swept the room, taking in the tidy shelves and the faint scent of freshly baked bread. “Everything alright?” he asked, his tone steady, the same question he always asked.

You smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “It is now. Come in.”

He hesitated for a moment, as if weighing the invitation, but eventually stepped inside, his presence filling the small space effortlessly.

You poured him tea, the silence between you familiar and strangely comforting. He didn’t say much—he rarely did—but his quiet presence was enough. You found yourself telling him about the shop, how business had picked up again, and how you’d repaired the shutters just last week. He listened intently, his gaze steady, his attention making you feel like your words mattered.

When he finally rose to leave, you felt a pang of disappointment, though you didn’t say anything. He paused at the door, glancing back at you.

“I’ll check in again,” he said simply.

You nodded, your smile soft but genuine. “I’ll be here.”

And then he was gone, the sound of his boots fading into the evening air. You stood there for a moment, staring at the empty doorway, your heart inexplicably lighter.

You didn��t know why he kept coming back, and maybe he didn’t either. But you found yourself looking forward to his visits, to the way he made you feel seen and safe in a way no one else ever had. For now, that was enough.

The air outside buzzed with excitement, the faint sound of music and chatter from the central town festival reaching your small home. You stood at the window, peeking out at the vibrant colors of the decorations that dotted the streets beyond your view.

The door creaked open, and you turned to see Jongho stepping inside. His usual calm demeanor was in place, though his eyes flicked over you briefly, taking in the faint spark of longing in your expression.

“There’s a festival in town,” he said, his voice low but steady.

You nodded, brushing your hands on your skirt. “I know. I’ve always wanted to go, but…”

Your voice trailed off, and you glanced toward your mother, who stood nearby, watching the two of you.

Jongho followed your gaze, his brow furrowing slightly. “Why not?”

Your mother sighed, folding her arms. “She’s young, and festivals can be crowded, chaotic… dangerous. I can’t let her go alone.”

“I’ll take her,” Jongho said simply, as though the decision had already been made.

“You'd do that? Take me there?”

“Why not?”

Both you and your mother looked at him, surprised. He met your mother’s gaze evenly, his tone firm. “I’ll make sure she’s safe.”

Your mother hesitated, her lips pressing into a thin line. Finally, she nodded, though she still seemed unsure. “Alright. But don’t let her out of your sight.”

A rush of excitement and nervousness bubbled up inside you as you grabbed your shawl. “Thank you, Jongho,” you said softly, your smile warm and genuine.

---

The town was alive with color and energy. Lanterns hung from every building, their soft glow casting a warm light over the cobblestone streets. Stalls lined the roads, selling everything from sweets to trinkets, and performers entertained small crowds with music and dancing.

Jongho stayed close to you, his presence a steady anchor in the lively chaos. His hand hovered near your back, guiding you through the crowd without a word.

“Where should we go first?” you asked, looking up at him.

He glanced around, his eyes scanning the stalls and performers. “Wherever you want.”

“I don't know, you choose”

“We can do whatever you want”

You look down a bit and think. You'd never been given choices. They were always made for you. You always felt pressure whenever someone said to choose something and at the end you just keep saying ‘whatever you want’.

You grinned, feeling a rare sense of freedom. Tugging gently on his sleeve, you led him to a stall selling candied apples. He didn’t protest when you bought one for yourself and insisted he try one too, but he informed you that he can't have sweet things.

You went around stall from stall, that's when you spotted a beautiful earring in one of the stalls. It was completely your style and pretty. You kept looking at it, that's when jongho noticed you looking somewhere.

“Where are you looking at?”

You look back at him and smile, “nothing.” Maybe I can ask mom to buy these next year, if we can come.

As the night went on, you wandered from one attraction to another. You laughed at a juggler’s clumsy tricks, marveled at the intricate designs of hand-painted fans, and even managed to coax Jongho into trying his hand at a ring toss game.

He didn’t win, but the sight of him concentrating so intently on the simple game made you laugh until your sides hurt.

“You’re enjoying this too much,” he muttered, though the corners of his mouth twitched upward in a faint smile.

“Maybe,” you teased, feeling more at ease with him than ever before.

When the night sky filled with stars, the two of you found a quieter spot on the edge of the festival grounds. You sat on a low stone wall, watching the festival bustling with people even though it was pretty late at night.

“Thank you,” you said after a while, your voice soft.

Jongho turned to look at you, his expression unreadable in the dim light. “For what?”

“For taking me here,” you said, meeting his gaze. “Looking out for me. You didn’t have to, but… it means a lot.”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes studying you. Then he nodded, his voice quiet but firm. “It’s no trouble.”

Back at the ship, Jongho returned to the bustling crew. The festival had left him with a strange feeling, one he couldn’t quite place.

“You’re back,” Yunho said, leaning against the mast with a grin. “How was your little outing?”

“It was fine,” Jongho replied curtly, brushing past him.

“Fine?” Wooyoung piped up, sidling up with a mischievous glint in his eye. “That’s all we get? Come on, did she hold your hand? Laugh at your jokes? Look at you like you’re her hero?”

“Wooyoung,” Jongho warned, his tone low.

But the teasing only grew as San joined in. “Admit it, you enjoyed yourself.”

Jongho shot them a glare that silenced most of their laughter, though their knowing looks didn’t fade.

He didn’t understand the pull he felt toward you, but one thing was clear: he would keep protecting you, no matter what. Anything beyond that… he wasn’t ready to think about it

The next time Jongho visited your home, it was early evening. The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting golden light over the small house. You were outside, tending to the small garden by the porch, when you noticed him approaching.

“Jongho,” you greeted, brushing dirt off your hands as you stood. His posture was straighter, and his hands were tucked behind his back.

“Hello,” he said, his voice calm as always, though his eyes briefly flickered down to the dirt smudged on your cheek.

“What brings you here?” you asked, tilting your head curiously.

He hesitated, glancing over his shoulder as though ensuring no one was watching. Then, clearing his throat, he brought his hand forward to reveal a small cloth-wrapped bundle.

You blinked at it, unsure of what it could be. “What’s this?”

“Just take it,” he said, his tone gruff, though he avoided your gaze as he extended the bundle toward you.

With a curious smile, you untied the cloth, your breath catching as the fabric fell away to reveal a pair of delicate earrings. They were simple yet elegant, their small gemstone pendants glinting in the light.

Your heart skipped a beat as you recognized them. “These… these were at the festival,” you murmured, tracing a finger over the smooth surface of one gem. “I saw them, but—”.

“You were staring at them right? That day?,” Jongho interrupted, his voice firm but quieter now. “Figured you might like them.”

Clutching the earrings tightly in your hand. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know,” he replied simply, meeting your gaze for a moment before looking away, almost as if he were embarrassed. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” you insisted, a soft laugh escaping you. “This is… this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me.”

Jongho shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just thought you’d like them.”

Your fingers gently traced over the smooth gemstones on the earrings, the delicate sparkle catching the fading sunlight. “But…” you hesitated, looking up at Jongho, who stood there with his usual calm demeanor. “Aren’t these expensive?”

He tilted his head slightly, an almost amused glint in his eyes. “I’m rich,” he said matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything.

You blinked at him, surprised by his bluntness. “You’re what?”

“Rich,” he repeated, his tone steady, though there was the faintest hint of humor tugging at the corner of his lips. “Why does that surprise you? I'm part of the richest pirates in the seven seas. Do you not know?”

“I mean… you’re on a ship all the time,” you said, flustered. “You don’t exactly seem—”

“Seem what?” he cut in, raising an eyebrow.

“Like someone who’d buy earrings for a girl,” you finished, your cheeks warming.

Jongho crossed his arms, his expression unreadable. “I didn’t buy them for just anyone. I bought them for you. That’s different.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you clutched the earrings tighter, suddenly unsure of what to say.

“I told you, it’s no big deal,” he continued, his tone softening slightly. “You liked them, so I got them. Don’t think too much about it.”

You smiled despite yourself, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and something else you couldn’t quite name. “Thank you,” you said again, your voice quieter this time.

He nodded, the faintest trace of a smile on his face. “You’re welcome.”

As he turned to leave, you couldn’t help but call after him, “So, how rich are we talking?”

Jongho paused, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk that was so subtle you almost missed it. “Rich enough to buy the earrings and not think twice about it.”

You laughed softly as he walked away, your heart lighter than it had been in a long time.

Unknown to you, the poor boy had gone through the torment of his 7 brothers, who won't leave him alone. They teased him so much about the earrings that he almost almost threw one of them overboard.

The crew was always quick to notice anything out of the ordinary, and had clearly picked up on Jongho’s latest visit to your home.

“So,” Yunho started, leaning casually against a barrel as Jongho walked across the deck, “we heard about the earrings.”

Jongho paused, his jaw tightening slightly. “What about them?”

“Oh, nothing,” Wooyoung piped up, barely containing his grin. “Just that our stoic Jongho has a soft spot for a certain someone.”

San joined in, throwing an arm dramatically around Jongho’s shoulder. “You know, if you’re going to buy her gifts, why not go all out? Maybe a necklace next time? Or a whole jewelry set?”

Jongho shrugged off San’s arm, his expression unimpressed. “It was just a pair of earrings. Don’t make it a big deal.”

“A pair of earrings,” Seonghwa repeated, feigning shock. “Do you know how much effort that is? Choosing the right ones, paying for them…”

Yeosang, who rarely joined in on the teasing, leaned against the railing with a faint smirk. “I’m just curious how long it took you to pick them out. Did you stare at the stall for an hour?”

“He probably scared the vendor,” Mingi added, his laughter booming across the deck. “Standing there, glaring at the earrings until they wrapped them up for him.”

Even Hongjoong, who had been silently observing from his chair, chimed in with a sly smile. “So, Jongho, how does it feel to be the romantic of the group? Should we start calling you the ship’s Cupid?”

Jongho’s patience was clearly thinning, but his expression remained steady. “I’m not romantic. I just thought she’d like them. That’s it.”

Wooyoung clutched his chest dramatically, staggering back. “He thought she’d like them! Oh, it’s worse than we thought—he’s thinking about her!”

“That’s enough,” Jongho said firmly, though the slight pink tinge to his ears betrayed his frustration.

Yunho, ever the instigator, leaned closer with a mischievous grin. “You know, Jongho, if you keep this up, we might need to start a fund for all the gifts you’ll be buying her.”

Jongho shot him a sharp look. “You’re all lucky I don’t throw you overboard.”

The crew erupted into laughter, thoroughly enjoying themselves at Jongho’s expense. Despite his annoyance, Jongho couldn’t fully suppress a faint smile as he turned and walked away.

As the teasing continued behind him, one thought lingered in his mind: he didn’t regret buying the earrings, no matter how much they made fun of him. If it made you smile, it was worth every ounce of ridicule.

The laughter and teasing aboard the ship gradually subsided as the crew prepared for their next voyage. Supplies were loaded, sails checked, and the familiar hum of activity filled the air. But this time, there was an unspoken heaviness among them. They were leaving the port—and there was no telling when they’d return.

Jongho stood near the railing, his gaze fixed on the horizon where the town lay, now bathed in the golden light of the setting sun.

“She’ll be fine, you know,” Yunho said, walking up beside him and leaning against the railing.

Jongho didn’t respond immediately. His grip on the wood tightened slightly, his eyes scanning the distant rooftops as though he could catch a glimpse of you from here. “I know,” he said finally, though his tone lacked conviction.

Yunho chuckled softly. “You’re terrible at lying, Jongho. Especially to yourself.”

“Leave him be,” Seonghwa said, passing by with a small smirk. “He’s just sulking because he can’t buy her more earrings from the next town.”

“Maybe we should’ve taken her with us,” Wooyoung suggested with a mischievous grin, appearing on Jongho’s other side. “At least then, Jongho wouldn’t be moping around like a kicked puppy.”

Jongho shot him a warning look. “She’s safer at home.”

“True,” Mingi chimed in as he approached, slapping Jongho on the back. “But are you safer without her?”

The others burst into laughter, their voices carrying across the deck, but Jongho remained silent. His thoughts were already elsewhere—back at the small house where he’d left you.

Now, as the ship’s anchor was lifted and the sails unfurled, Jongho couldn’t help but glance back one last time. The town grew smaller in the distance, and with it, the little piece of peace he’d found there.

Everything had to come to an end, he reminded himself, but this end felt heavier than he’d expected. Even as the ship carried him further from the port, his thoughts lingered on you—on your quiet strength, your laughter, and the way your smile had made the world seem just a little brighter.

For now, all he could do was focus on the journey ahead and trust that fate would bring him back to you someday.

Their journey had been long and unpredictable, filled with danger, discovery, and the relentless pursuit of fortune. From navigating treacherous waters to encountering rival ships, every day aboard the ship demanded resilience and wit.

They'd charted unknown territories, bartered with distant towns, and clashed with pirates in battles that tested their mettle. The crew thrived on the adrenaline of their adventures, though the weight of uncertainty often hung over them.

For Jongho, the journey was a blur of responsibility and restlessness, his thoughts occasionally drifting to the little house by the port. Each victory and challenge brought them closer to returning, though they never knew when that day would come.

Now, after years away, the ship had finally docked, and their travels were behind them—for now.

The town felt both familiar and distant as Jongho and the crew disembarked after years at sea. Jongho’s eyes instinctively searched the streets, scanning for any sign of you. The house came into view quickly, and his steps faltered. It looked well-kept, the garden vibrant and alive, and the faint scent of baked goods wafted from an open window.

As he approached the door, he noticed a subtle change—a sign hung near the entrance: “Homemade Goods & Repairs.” His brow furrowed, curiosity rising.

He knocked lightly, and a familiar voice called out, “One moment!”

When you opened the door, your expression lit up instantly. “Jongho!”

You were different, older somehow, with a confidence in the way you stood. Your hands were dusted with flour, and there was a smudge of it on your cheek. But your smile was as bright as ever, and seeing it eased something in Jongho’s chest.

“You’re back,” you said warmly, stepping aside to let him in. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”

“I didn’t expect to see this,” Jongho replied, motioning toward the bustling shop area. Shelves lined with jars of jams and pastries occupied one side, while the other side displayed tools and items neatly organized for repairs.

You chuckled, wiping your hands on your apron. “After my mom passed, I needed something to keep me busy. The shop helps, and it keeps me connected to the town. I do alright.”

Jongho nodded, glancing around. The place had a sense of order and life he hadn’t expected. “You’re running this by yourself?”

“For now,” you replied, smiling proudly. “The town’s been good to me. They keep me busy enough, and I like it that way.”

Jongho’s gaze lingered on you, and he couldn’t help but notice the resilience in your tone. You weren’t the fragile girl he’d left behind. You’d grown, thrived even, despite everything.

“You’ve done well,” he said quietly, his voice tinged with admiration.

Still, his heart felt heavy as he considered what lay ahead. The ship wouldn’t stay docked for long; it never did. His life was the sea—a life of unpredictability, danger, and adventure. But standing here, surrounded by the quiet hum of your shop, he wondered if there was room for something else.

“You’ve made a good life for yourself,” he said finally, his voice quieter than usual.

You nodded, leaning against the counter. “I have. It’s not always easy, but it’s mine.”

A silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken questions. He broke it first.

“I can’t ask you to leave this behind,” he said. “You’ve worked too hard to build it.”

Your brow furrowed as you studied him. “And you’re not ready to leave the sea.”

He shook his head. “That's all I’ve ever known.”

You stepped closer, your hand brushing against his arm. “Then don’t. You don’t have to choose, Jongho.”

He looked at you, confusion flickering across his face.

“You come and go,” you continued. “The sea is part of who you are, and I wouldn’t want to take that from you. But when you’re here, this can be home. If you want it to be.”

Home. The word hung in the air between you, and for the first time, Jongho felt a sense of calm he hadn’t known he was searching for.

“I don’t deserve that,” he said, his voice barely audible.

You smiled softly. “Maybe not. But it’s here anyway.”

Jongho was silent for a long moment, the weight of your words settling over him. He wanted to say more but wasn’t sure how. He wanted to ask you to come with him, to leave everything behind and sail with him, but he knew it wouldn’t be fair. You had your life here, and he couldn’t ask you to give that up for the uncertain life he led.

But then, without thinking, the words left his mouth, surprising even himself.

“Marry me.”

You froze, your eyes wide with shock. Jongho instantly regretted speaking before he’d thought it through. But he couldn’t take the words back now, and he didn’t want to.

He cleared his throat, trying to explain. “I know it sounds sudden, and I’m not asking you to give up your life here, but…” His voice faltered. “I don’t want to keep going back and forth, not anymore. I want you to be with me, always. Even when I’m out there on the sea. We could make it work, I know we could.”

You stared at him, your heart beating fast as you processed his words. The shock began to wear off, replaced by something warm and steady. Jongho had always been a protector to you, but hearing him say he wanted more—that he wanted to be with you no matter what—stirred something deep inside you.

You took a deep breath, the weight of his question settling on your chest. “Are you sure?” you asked quietly. “This isn’t just about wanting me close when it’s convenient for you?”

He shook his head, stepping closer. “No. I want all of you. Even when I’m gone. You’re the only thing that’s ever made me think about staying.”

You met his eyes, feeling the sincerity in his words. There was no doubt in your mind. “I’m not going anywhere,” you said, your voice steady now. “If you’re asking me to be part of your life, even with all the uncertainty, then yes. I’ll marry you.”

A smile spread across Jongho’s face, relief flooding through him. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this certain about anything. Without another word, he pulled you into a tight embrace, the promise of the future settling between you like a quiet promise.

The sea might still call to him, but now, he had something far more important to come back to. And this time, it wouldn’t be just a visit—it would be home.

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taylorklosscomeout138 · 3 months ago

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Where does swiftgron fit in your timeline? I thought kaylor was from 2012-13

I used to believe all love songs on Red had to be about Swiftgron because based on the Kaylor officially met in 2013 false narrative, it was impossible for songs to be about Karlie

But then I discovered the video where Taylor confirms she met Karlie at the 2008 Young Hollywood Awards so pretty much they lied about the entire tl to cover their tracks

(This is going to be a long wild ride but it's worth the read so please bare with me)

That led me to discover the 10000% proof that Begin Again is about Karlie because her full name and birth year is hidden on a car license plate in the MV. (That also led to me finding out many Red songs are about Karlie)

Taylor started officially dating Karlie in 2011, Kaylor began before Swiftgron. But by Summer of 2012 Kaylor and Swiftgron overlap. And thus we get the Folklore love triangle. "Chase 2 girls lose the 1" and she swears to Betty it was "just a summer thing"

(Which I need to fact check this for clarity, Betty August Rebekah are all Karlie. August is not a seperate person that was a bait and switch. Dianna Agron is Inez. The person Betty heard the rumours that James cheated from... how did Inez know if it was a secret? Because she was the other party in the affair. Inez derives from the Latin name AGnes)

Okay so back to "just a summer thing", well the actual confirmed Swiftgron timeline literally is called "The Swiftgron Summer" of 2012. So this makes it very obvious that the "summer thing" is when she started seeing Dianna despite being with Karlie. It is explained in Folklore that this ended their relationship initially

So now the timeline makes sm sense when you know How You Get The Girl was written about Taylor losing Karlie for 6 months due to this. And showing up to her doorstep to make it up to her after officially leaving Dianna in the Fall.

The 6 months would span the beginning of Summer, to November of 2012. I believe this is also why Red TV was released in Nov 2021. It is quite literally the same date, just rearranged.

So let's reflect back, because if Swiftgron really was only official in Summer of 2012 (which is also made apparent by Dianna and Lea Michele's timeline) and Red came out in Oct of 2012, then makes it impossible that Red songs could actually be about Dianna Agron besides the potential of a couple last minute love songs, but even then, albums are turned in months prior to the release.

Therefore, Red is likely only Liz Huett and Karlie Kloss. I was not apart of the fandom during Swiftgron, I joined way later, so I honestly do not understand how anyone ever concluded Red is about Swiftgron and didn't question that when even the masterpost makes it clear Swiftgron was mainly just a summer thing in 2012 and Dianna was with Lea Michele still in 2011. I can understand thinking Red was about her though based on just not having any other fitting muse due to the lie narrative about Kaylor.

But my friend even fact checked the one lyric on Red everyone thought to 100% be about Dianna from Holy Ground "I left a note on the door with a joke we made"

But the evidence comes from Dianna's birthday party at the end of April 2012. Whereas Taylor factually wrote Holy Ground in Feb 2012, 2 months prior to that.... which I also have no idea how that never got fact checked and was ran with.

I even believed it up until my friend told me about it a few weeks ago but that's because I've never looked into facts about the Swiftgron timeline much until finding out that the entire timeline as we knew it was a false public narrative timeline used to cover up Kaylor history of the past. So needless to say.... very shocking. And it changes everything

This basically means that Swiftgron doesn't even officially get a song until 1989- and even then it's half Karlie half Dianna as confirmed by Kimby Kloss in her messy era when she liked a post of someone saying YAIL is the Kaylor anthem and Wonderland is the Swiftgron anthem.

So there you have it. Honestly this isn't even beginning to scratch the surface because there is so many things about the timeline that have been misunderstood for so long.

Including that Enchanted off of Speak Now was the first ever song written about Karlie. It was just a fantasy song at the time, but the reason we all believed it to be about Emma Stone was because that's what she was going for. Why? Because when Taylor met Karlie for the first time in 2008 it was at the same time she met Emma Stone. The guy who introduced them said he brought Karlie and Emma over her to her at the same time. Hence why on Speak Now TV she coded Karlie as Emma with "When Emma Falls In Love".

I can definitely get into the breakdown of Red as to what songs are about Liz Huett and what songs are about Karlie if that's something you or anyone else would like! Me and my discord have already reassessed the whole album through this lens awhile ago

#kaylor #karlie kloss #gaylor #gaylor swift #taylor and karlie #friends of dorothea #lgbetty #taylorkloss

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isaacswhy · 7 months ago

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could we please get some isaac x gn! famous music artist reader hcs?? idk if you’ve done this before so sorry if you have !!

isaacwhy x famous music artist reader hcs!!

this is really cute and no i haven't!!

given he's made music before and his friends make music he's always willing to help out

he ALWAYS has ur music in videos and streams. he is literally your top listener. check his last fm

every one of his playlists have like 10+ of your songs depending on the vibe

owns all of ur merch. even though you can get it for free for him he goes on the site and buys it instead

gets all the merch in your size and his. even though you'll just wear his and yours will just go to like larry

need to make a promo? he's got something booked. need to make a mv? he's hiring videographers

asks you for personal concerts in his room. he records them like a fanboy in a crowd

if you go on tour, he is there at every stop in the front row. he's there backstage before and after every night.

if you haven't made the relationship public this can be like a cute thing where people start to catch on

paparazzi photos are interesting since he's faceless. but he knows if he's leaving the house w you he has the mask and glasses on

basically it's just photos of you next to this hulking 6'6 dude in a tank top and sweats and oh yeah. his face is not public

people ask you on ig lives if he's hot and of course he is. but they're suffering because they wanna know so bad

so many photos on ur ig story of him being cute but u scribble out his face (and keep the originals in your storage)

his phone bg is his favorite pic he took of you on tour

acts like the biggest fanboy on stream it's so unserious ("guys y/n noticed me at the last concert!!")

to conclude? he is your biggest fan and mayhaps might have a secret stan twt account

#isaacwhy x reader #isaacwhy #tgc x reader #tgc #the group chat #the group x reader #the group chat podcast #headcanons

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deus-ex-mona · 9 months ago

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just a tl of lxl's tv guide interview~

Q1: First off, please introduce yourselves!

Aizo: It’s nice to meet you guys! I’m Aizo.

Yujiro: And I’m Yujiro! The two of us make up the idol unit of LIPxLIP.

Aizo: We sing with all we’ve got to bring happiness to our listeners.

Yujiro: We’ve released many MVs as well, so please check them out as well.

Aizo: We also give it our all when we’re shooting our MVs, so you’ll be able to see us being all cool in them!

Yujiro: That sure is a lot of “all”s that we’ve given, Aizo.

Aizo: That’s cuz I really give it my all in everything we do. You do the same, right?

Yujiro: Of course I do. There isn’t a single day when I’m not giving it my all.

Aizo: See? You look calm and composed most of the time, but you’re actually a pretty passionate guy, huh?

Yujiro: It’s because you’re always giving it your all that I feel like I can’t lose either.

Aizo: There it is, your tendency of hating to lose.

Yujiro: Well, we both hate to lose, don’t we?

Aizo: But, Yujiro, you’re able to do everything so easily without seeming bothered by the thought of falling behind, which never fails to surprise me every time.

Yujiro: I guess you’re the opposite of me in that regard, Aizo. You’re a straightforward open book. I think that any onlooker will be able to tell how much you love singing and how much fun you’re having at work.

Aizo: Eh? Do I really look like I’m having that much fun?

Yujiro: You’re always excited when we’re on site. But, Aizo, you’re actually surprisingly calm and even more observant of your surroundings than I am of mine. Even when I’m distressed, you’re the one who notices it faster than anyone else, Aizo…

Aizo: I’ve told you that you should ask for help when you’re troubled, but you really can’t be honest, huh? (laughs)

Yujiro: …Right now, I’m troubled by you and the way you’re smirking at me, Aizo.

Q2: What was the response to your 2nd Album “Be Grateful You Were Born!” like?

Aizo: Since this was our first album in a long time, we have received a lot of responses from our Julieta (what they call their fans) who have been anticipating its release. We’re really happy that it brought joy to them.

Yujiro: We had performed “White Day Kiss” live, so there were many Julieta who were looking forward to its album release too.

Aizo: Also, Narumi (Sena) who starred in the MV for “Julieta”, the sequel to “Romeo” from our previous album, congratulated us too. She said that she’ll recommend the album to her friends as well, which I appreciate!

Yujiro: I will be really happy if people who don’t know of us yet can get to know and support us through this album.

Aizo: We’ll continue to work hard as LIPxLIP with all we’ve got, so please root for us!

Q3: What were the challenges that you faced with this album?

Aizo: Well, it’s more like we faced so many new challenges that I don’t know where to start. (laughs)

Yujiro: In terms of the mood of the songs, I think “Meoto” with its Japanese taste and the Arabian-esque “A.B.Secret” have a very new feel to them compared to our other songs as LIPxLIP.

Aizo: We changed the way we sang to suit each and every song too, so I think we were able to show you new sides of us. For “Meoto”, I was conscious of the way I sang to fit the role I played in the setting of the song, and for “A.B.Secret”, there was that rap-like dialogue.

Yujiro: You may be surprised by the difference in intensity if you listen to “Oshi no Mahou” and “Yurushite Santa-san” after those songs. (laughs)

Aizo: With the “LOVE chu chu”s and the “Please, Santa-san”s, right? I’ll be thrilled if you can feel not just our coolness, but also our cuteness as idols! But… even though I was the one who said all that I’m starting to feel embarrassed.

Q4: The album has songs that would be a hit at live concerts, such as “Oshi no Mahou”, with its fun call-and-response bits.

Aizo: It goes without say that I definitely want to do the call and response with our Julieta!

Yujiro: Same here. I’ll be happy if everyone memorised it and came to watch us perform when that day comes.

Aizo: It’ll be super fun, right?! I’m looking forward to hyping up the venue and making it echo with all our voices.

Yujiro: Is there anything else that you’d like to do during the performance?

Aizo: Hmm, well… Maybe we’ll make a Möbius loop together with the audience… wait, the ideas won’t stop flowing if we carry on like this. (laughs)

Yujiro: Yeah, you’re right. (laughs) Let’s leave the details of the performance as something that our audience can look forward to when the time comes.

Q5: Tell us the secret stories behind the shootings of your MVs!

Aizo: I had a feeling when I heard Yujiro sing “Anata” in his lines in “Meoto”... But I was still surprised when I found out that Yujiro was dressed up in the role of a girl during the MV shooting. But, y’know, it suited you amazingly~. The air your makeup gave off was also different from how it’s like during our usual jacket photoshoots and live concerts, so I was a little charmed by you (laughs).

Yujiro: Thanks. Although I played the role of a woman this time, the costume I wore was a fantastical gorgeous kimono, within a unique setting, so it was easy for me to get into my role without feeling uncomfortable.

Aizo: I really didn’t feel uncomfortable at all either.

Yujiro: You looked good in your bewitching horned costume yourself, Aizo. It brought out your coolness, and you looked strong too.

Aizo: Right?! I was really pumped with all of the manly accessories like the horns, the mask, and the patterns drawn on my body.

Yujiro: Your long sharp nails suited you too. And in the MV, there’s a scene where the pair, played by me and Aizo, open their hearts to each other and hold hands while standing shoulder to shoulder. Be sure to pay attention to the contrast between our hands, okay?

Aizo: Speaking of the shooting, when I was hugging Yujiro during the filming of that shoulder to shoulder scene, I could smell a wonderful fragrance coming off of him. I was really surprised at the time, y’know? (laughs) “He smells so good!” I thought.

Yujiro: The staff had prepared some perfume for me. Although the fragrance can’t be conveyed through the screen, they had hoped to enhance the vividness of the setting for the viewers by having me wear the perfume as we filmed. I thought that it was a wonderful idea, so I had the staff apply the perfume to my costume.

Aizo: For “A.B.Secret”, we filmed a live concert called “Arabian Nights in the Dunes”, which was yet another tough day. (laughs)

Yujiro: To be honest, we got lost on the way to the venue, so we had to cross several dunes.

Aizo: We may look all nonchalant in the MV, but we’d used quite a lot of our stamina. I’m just glad that we were able to make it to the venue in one piece…

Yujiro: But we were treated to a lot of wonderful food after our performance, so I’d say that it had been a very satisfying day.

Q6: Since this is a TV guide… What TV programmes do the two of you tend to watch?

Yujiro: I watch all kinds of shows, but I tend to watch talk shows often. I think that it’s great that I’m able to learn about current events from all over the world in the form of an entertaining programme, no less.

Aizo: You don’t just check the news or something? You sure are a diligent one, Yujiro.

Yujiro: I watch talk shows just because they’re interesting. If I just want to know the news, I wouldn’t particularly watch a talk show for it.

Aizo: I watch them every so often myself, but I only watch the segments that introduce restaurants that serve good food or amusement park events.

Yujiro: I see. You watch TV too, Aizo? I had the impression that you’d be often off running outside or something instead.

Aizo: Well, I do watch TV, y’know? I like watching programmes hosted by their namesake comedians. And I check out singing programmes without fail.

Yujiro: Yeah, I watch music programmes often too.

Aizo: It goes without say that I check out my favourite bands and artistes too, but I have to know what the current trends are on the rankings! As idols, we can’t afford to lose to others and all.

Yujiro: Though, I do occasionally get hooked on particular trends just from checking them out. (laughs)

Q7: Going off the name of your album, please express your gratitude for each other and your Julieta!

Yujiro: Do you even have anything to be grateful to me for…?

Aizo: Yeah. I’m grateful to always have you as a nice wall for a rival.

Yujiro: A nice wall? Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Aizo: Yes, it’s a compliment. For example, I do pretty well in my studies and sports at school, but when I look at you, Yujiro, I find myself thinking that I can’t be satisfied with the way things are yet. I’m able to grow steadily because I have you as my literal worthy opponent.

Yujiro: You’re really grateful to me, huh?

Aizo: Well, since we have the opportunity now, why not? How about you? You’re not gonna say that you have nothing, are you?

Yujiro: Yeah. I have something too.

Aizo: Ooh, what is it, what is it?

Yujiro: There has been a lot of pollen in the air lately. So, when I sneezed, you immediately gave me some pocket tissue, the soft kind. You really saved me back then, so I’m grateful to you.

Aizo: Is that simple thing all you’re grateful for…?

Yujiro: Sorry, I was just kidding. (laughs) As I had touched on in an earlier question, whenever I’m depressed or distressed, you’re the first one to notice, Aizo. I tend to overthink all kinds of things, but you always make my worries disappear. So I’m always grateful to you for that, Aizo.

Aizo: Huh, so you do have a proper one after all.

Yujiro: It’s embarrassing to be this honest, so let’s keep this between us, okay?

Aizo: It’d be nice if you could be honest all the time, though.

Yujiro: More importantly, we have to honestly express our gratitude for our Julieta.

Aizo: Yeah. We’re more grateful to our Julieta than anything.

Yujiro: Thank you so much for cheering us on, Julieta.

Aizo: We were only able to release our new album thanks to your support, Julieta. We are able to continue on as LIPxLIP thanks to every one of you who listens to our songs, buys our albums, and sends us your thoughts and cheers.

Yujiro: Julieta, I’m grateful to you from the bottom of my heart. Also, I’d like to express my gratitude that you were born in this era and that you and us were able to meet like this.

Aizo: We will continue to do our very best so that we can return the love that we have received from you, Julieta, many times over.

Both: Please cheer us on!

Q8: What was your first trip together like?

Aizo: There were some pranks, and there were times when I felt exasperated, but it was truly a ton of fun!

Yujiro: We haven’t had many opportunities to go on a trip till now, so it was a really great experience for us.

Aizo: We got to see many places, plus thanks to the fact that we were in charge of the voiceover for the Izumo guided tour, we had a good knowledge about the places of interest and we were able to enjoy ourselves to the fullest.

Yujiro: I especially liked the footbaths. When I dipped my feet into the footbath after a tiring walk, I was truly impressed by how much it helped to relieve my fatigue.

Aizo: It’s amazing how it completely warmed your feet up, huh?

Yujiro: Yeah, its healing properties are amazing.

Aizo: No, y’see, your feet were flushed pink from the warmth of the water in the footbath after soaking in it for a while. When you took your feet out of the hot water, saying “It’s hot.”, it looked like you were wearing pink socks, which I found rather funny.

Yujiro: …If you want to bring that up, should I release that video of you scooting around on your butt to grab a towel with your legs raised up in the air because you had nowhere to put your wet feet?

Aizo: When did you even take that video…?

#lipxlip #lxl tl things #please feel free to correct me if i made any mistakes (grammatical or otherwise)!!!!!#some of the questions were soooooo long... so i might have missed some qc checks lol sadge #queuing this up for a few hours from now a n d ok gn guys~~~~~ (it's 5.23 in the am) dream of lxl tonight~~~?#remind me to do that other magazine interview from 2k22 some time lmao not now though im tiredddd

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naychuchu · 1 year ago

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🐈‍⬛

tw: this is my first time actually posting anything i’ve written. i made these pretty late at night so i’m sorry if they’re bad i just wanted to write something. probably some spelling mistakes and stuff i didn’t feel like checking it throughly.

a/n: please be nice

personal

* i’ve mentioned this before but baji absolutely LOVES the yakuza game

* favorite one is yakuza 0 (definitely not because this is the only one i’ve watched so far🌚)

* john cena fanboy for absolutely no reason. has his theme as his ringtone

* number 1 baby metal fan. owns their merch and goes to every concert

* his favorite season is summer for obvious reasons but his favorite holiday is definitely christmas because he and mikey ride around with shin

* HATES horror movies. like nothing can convince this man to watch them. even the kiddie ones like goosebumps or scary stories to tell in the dark will have him act like the devil just touched his soul

* definitely the kind of guy to walk around with one lens in his glasses after a fight

* purposely named his bike cockroach knowing pah is afraid of them

* he used to hate his fangs when he was little because kids used to tease him and say he was a dog

* that was until he started saying he’d bite and give them rabies if they kept messing with him

* cannot grow facial hair to save his life

* judges people on how they interact with animals, specifically cats

* despite popular belief, i don’t think he would get any tattoos. he seems like a piercing guy and definitely cannot sit that long for a tattoo

* gave himself the alias edward because he used to watch twilight with his mom

* he even had a phase when he acted like a vampire but will vehemently deny and threaten anyone who dares to bring it up

* is lactose intolerant and just like many of us will eat dairy and instantly regret it as soon as it hits his stomach

* sometimes he feels insecure about the fact he was held back, all of his friends moving up while he’s left behind

* even though he has a reputation for committing arson and slightly unprovoked violence, keisuke is truly a model citizen☝🏽

* volunteers at shelters, helps the elderly, feeds the homeless, solves climate change. he truly is a saint and can do no wrong!

home life

* i like the idea that his mom was a teen mom and that his father was never really around and just stopped coming one day

* due to her job, his mom sometimes works really late or super early so over the years he’s learned to cook (the only good thing he can cook is yakisoba)

* on the nights he knows his mom will be back late he cooks her food and despite it not being the best she still loves it

* even though she works a lot the two of them are still very close and their favorite thing to do is read manga and watch mystery dramas whenever she’s off

* despite not knowing his dad(he only visited when he was a baby) he never felt insecure about it

* he’s a total mamas boy, and will fight anyone who says something about her

* when ryoko was younger, she wanted to have a lot of kids but after having keisuke she changed her mind. she felt it would be selfish to have so many kids when she works so much and after realizing how much of a handful he can be.

* despite that and having him at such a young age, keisuke was the best thing to ever happen to her and wouldn’t trade him or his wildness for the world.

relationship

* back on the yakuza point, whenever you’re sad he’ll grab a hair brush, turn up the radio and start singing 24-hour cinderella to you until his voice is gone

* when you guys get in a fight he’ll act like he’s in a 2000’s r&b mv and start singing bakamitai. chifuyu gets the hose to spray water above him, kazutora plays the music, and ryusei records the whole thing so baji can send it to you

* a biter, like what’s the point of him having those sharp ass teeth if he don’t try to take a chunk out of you

* whatever your favorite animal is, he’s gonna buy every single book about them so he can share little facts about it with you

* if you’re into a specific artist or group, he’ll listen to their whole discography and learn everything in the fandom

* becomes a horanghae enthusiast and will force you to be one as well

* just like he’s loyal to his friends and toman, he’s loyal to you

* like foreva togetha foreva LOCKED IN 🤞🏽

* a girl tries flirting with him and all of a sudden he’s hellen keller

* the type of boyfriend to say you’re too spoiled whoever you ask for something while doing said thing you requested

* will literally lift his ass off the seat while you’re sitting next to him and fart on you then blame it on you

* talm bout some ‘ew the hell did you eat’ like his diet doesn’t consist of yakisoba, monster energy drinks, and beef glizzies

* speaking of farts😸 keisuke will send pics of his shit to you asking if it looks normal

* will make fun of you if you’re lactose intolerant as if he don’t be upside down on the toilet fighting for his life

* is constantly in your personal space. like he’ll be standing behind you while you play like candy crush or best fiends mumbling about moves you can make. sometimes he’ll snatch your phone and play it himself

* what’s yours is his. mid chew on something he wants? he’s opening your mouth and popping it in his, no matter if it’s soggy

* absolutely loves giving and receiving hugs, being in your arms makes him feel safe and gives reassurance that despite all of his flaws you still love him

* stares at you with his mouth open, no matter what you’re doing or how you look his eyes are on you 24/7

* takes the absolute worst pictures of you on facetime and puts each one in his favorites until the end of time

* throws rocks at your window at like 4 in the morning knowing you both have school just so you can ride around with him until the sun comes up

* i feel like he’d totally like mellow down on the things he does. he doesn’t want to worry you while he’s away

* constantly checks up with you so you know he’s okay and not lying on the ground somewhere and dying 🌚

this is so scary bye 😭

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miss-hyoko · 2 years ago

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Our Love Is True

Character(s): Malleus

Summary: You're about to die and Malleus wasn't ready to let you go

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, angst, romantic, reader is Yuu, established relationship, death, and 1.9k words

Note: This fic was inspired by Habibie & Ainun, a famous romance movie in my country. Their OST is the one I translated for the later part of this fic. If you're interested, you can hear the song here (Official MV) or here (English Translation)

P.S: I translated this in the middle of the night when my brain wasn't quite right. If you found something wrong, please let me know 👉👈

Since the beginning of your relationship, Malleus already knew he wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of his life with you.

For he a fae and you a human; one is a creature destined to live a long life, while the other is just a mere mortal with a short life span.

Malleus was well aware of this fact, more than anyone else. Even so, he still wants to be with you, his most beloved person.

If he can’t spend the rest of his life with you, then at least let him accompany you until the end of your life.

***

Many people think that Malleus’ feelings for you are nothing but a temporary attraction and that the relationship between you two won’t last long. So, they patiently await the news about your breakup with the crown prince of Briar Valley.

Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and months turn to years. Time goes by so fast, yet there is still no breakup news from you and Malleus.

Instead, they got news about your marriage with Malleus; and how you both worked together to lead the Briar Valley.

Even though your appearance has changed drastically with the passage of time, the relationship between you and Malleus still continues in harmony. He doesn’t seem to mind about the changes your body is going through; often seen gently kissing your wrinkled face when appearing together in public.

At this point, almost everyone believes that Malleus really loves you and is serious about his relationship with you.

All of that is further proven true when one day, you fall seriously ill.

Doctors and healers throughout the Twisted Wonderland were called to check upon you. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do much because your body is already weak from aging. It’s only a matter of time before you breathe your last breath.

They told Malleus that he needed to prepare himself for the worst-case scenario. But he doesn’t want to; he’s still not ready to lose you.

Frantically, he tried to find a way to extend your life. From reading through all the ancient records in the palace library to even sending some of his knights out to find a way to save you, he had tried it all. Alas, no matter how hard he searched, he found nothing to help you.

Devastated, Malleus dejectedly accepts the fact that you will soon leave him forever.

And ever since that, except for some rare occasions where his presence is absolutely required, Malleus stopped appearing in public, wanting nothing more than to be by your side in the remaining time of your life.

***

Today, unlike usual, you slept very soundly and woke up feeling refreshed. It was the most comfortable sleep you’ve ever had since you got bedridden a year ago due to your illness worsening. Your old body feels full of energy, just like when you were young. But instead of feeling happy, all you can feel is just melancholy.

Today is the day, huh?

Suddenly, there was a rhythmic knock on your door.

“Are you awake, sweetheart?” Malleus entered your room carrying a bowl of warm porridge.

“Good morning, Hornton.”

A subtle smile you gave to him when your eyes met with his. You can no longer see clearly because your eyesight is getting worse; still, you can faintly see the sorrow hidden behind those emerald-green eyes of his that you love the most.

Ah, so he already knows…

Placing the porridge on the bedside table, Malleus walked over to the window and drew back the curtains, showing you the morning sky of Briar Valley.

“Such a great weather we have for today,” he commented in a barely audible voice, trying to sound calm in your presence.

From your position, you can see how the morning sun hits Malleus’ handsome face while a gentle breeze slowly blows his dark hair strands. No matter how many decades have passed, he still looks the same as the first time you met him near Ramshackle Dorm; breathtakingly handsome.

“Today’s breakfast is your favorite porridge, sweetheart. Here, let me help you.”

Taking the porridge earlier, Malleus took a spoonful of its contents and blew on it briefly before bringing it down to your mouth.

You stared alternately between the spoon and Malleus’ face for a few moments. He, The Mighty Fae King who was feared and respected by many, now humbles himself to serve your daily needs; doing the menial work that should be done by the servants.

Your heart suddenly hurts. Whether out of joy or sadness, you also don’t know.

“I don’t want to eat…” you say rather weakly.

Malleus didn’t insist. He just smiled and put the porridge back on the table. “Then at least have a little drink, alright?”

“Hornton… Can we go for a walk in the garden?” you asked suddenly, making Malleus, who was about to pour you some water, instantly stop moving.

He didn’t answer right away. You can hear how he tries to control his irregular breathing.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He answered in a weak voice after a moment of silence; a wistful smile formed on his face when he turned to look at you.

“Let’s go to the garden.”

***

With one arm under your legs and the other supporting your back, Malleus holds you close while walking around the palace garden. His steps were calm and collected as usual, but the grim expression on his face gave away his true feelings.

“Don’t be so tense, Hornton.”

Hearing your weak voice, Malleus reflexively shifted his gaze to you, who was lying comfortably in his arms.

From this close distance, Malleus can see how time has changed you. Your face is now full of wrinkles, your hair’s original color has been completely replaced with white strands, and most of your hair has fallen out, leaving a few bald spots on your head.

To others, you are probably just another ugly old person. But in Malleus’ eyes, you’re still the same beautiful human who managed to steal his heart decades ago.

“You will make other people run scared if you make a face like that,” you said, smiling weakly.

Malleus is aware that you were trying to cheer him up, but he couldn’t bring himself to smile the way you wanted him to. Not when he knows he will soon lose you, the only bright light in his dark life.

“I do not care about other people. I only care about you alone,” he whispered hoarsely.

As if you had expected him to say that, you just laughed lightly without making any further comment.

Hearing you laugh heartily, Malleus’s gaze unconsciously softened a bit. No matter how often he heard it, he didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing your laugh.

If only he could hear your laughter for all eternity, how great would it be?

“That big tree in the middle of the garden, I want to see it. Can you take me there?”

“With pleasure, sweetheart.”

Trying to divert his attention from the fact that you will die soon, Malleus gently kissed your forehead and carried you to where you wanted.

Arriving in the middle of the palace garden, Malleus immediately sat in the shade of the tree while placing you in his lap.

“Hehehe, I always like it whenever you hug me close like this, Hornton.” Chuckling softly, you snuggled deeper into your husband’s arms. “Hug me tighter, please?”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Anything…”

As he hugged you tighter, Malleus’ shoulders started to tremble, realizing that your death was approaching nearer and nearer, all while he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Unaware of his reaction, you continued to ramble with unfocused eyes.

“Are you always this warm, Mal?”

No, it’s your body that’s getting colder…

“Ah, but this temperature is perfect. I like it….”

“Is that so?” Malleus gently stroked your wrinkled cheek with great tenderness.

“Then, could you stay a little longer?”

As if you didn’t hear his question, you just smiled a little and brought your face closer to his hand resting on your cheek.

You didn’t answer him, but Malleus already knows the answer.

You can’t stay any longer.

Malleus’ vision began to blur, and he could feel tears starting to well up in the corners of his eyes.

With the way he looked down at you who was lying in his arms, the tears involuntary rolled down his cheeks before finally falling on your face.

“Don’t cry, Hornton.”

Your voice now sounds hoarser than before, and Malleus can feel his tears flowing even more. With great difficulty, you move your frail hands to cup his face, trying to wipe the tears away from his cheeks.

But before you could touch his face, Malleus grabbed your hand first. His green eyes stare intently at yours.

For a few seconds, the two of you just stared at each other in silence. Until finally, you broke the silence with a request.

“That song... can you sing it for me?”

Malleus’ body involuntarily stiffened at your request. He knows which song you mean. It’s a song you taught him not long after you two just got married. The one you always sing to him whenever he feels afraid of losing you someday to death.

That song is something special for both of you.

Malleus’ grip on you tightened, and he slowly lowered his head to press his forehead against yours; silently sobbing with ragged breaths.

As long as it’s something you want, Malleus will definitely grant it, no matter how hard or unreasonable it is.

“When the heart

twisting and disturbing the mind.

Repeating memories,

when love meets love.”

Malleus’s voice quivered ever so slightly as he started to sing.

But you didn’t notice it; continue to lay comfortably in Malleus’ embrace with eyes closed to enjoy your husband’s melodious voice. Past memories start playing like a broken record inside your head; your first meeting with him, your date together, the time he proposed to you, all up to your grand wedding.

“My soul is screaming,

emphasizing that I love you.

Thank you, All-loving (God),

for uniting us.”

Ah, you remember this part. The upcoming lyrics are your favourite part since it describes your relationship with Malleus perfectly. Thus, whenever you sing that part, you always sing it full of emotions; hoping you can convey your feelings for Malleus.

“When I’m no longer by your side-”

“I will wait for you in eternity…”

Malleus was stunned into silence by your sudden intervention. After a while, he continued to sing with lips lifted into a small smile.

“Our love painting the history

Staging stories full of joy

So that any human being would know

Our love is true….”

Ah… Even now, you can still make him fall in love with you all over again.

“A colorful valley

Shaping, curving, hugging us

Two souls that melt into one

In the sanctity of love…”

Nearing the end of the song, Malleus felt your hand that he had been holding suddenly become weak.

Slowly, he moves his face away from you; gazing at your peaceful face that has entered the eternal slumber.

Like a leaking dam, all the emotions he had struggled to hold back since earlier immediately overflowed.

His tears fell uncontrollably without any sign of stopping, his chest heaved up and down, his breath suffocated, and something invisible was gnawing his heart.

Malleus could feel it.

Something inside him also disappeared along with your last breath.

“Our love painting the history

Staging stories full of joy

So that any human being would know

Our love is true….”

Nevertheless, his mouth continues to sing your song.

For all he wants is his voice to be the one to send you off to eternity.

***

I never left,

Always in your heart.

You’re never far away,

Always in my heart.

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst wonderland #twst x reader #twst imagines #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #rendang #🍴_comp

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ladytauria · 19 days ago

Note

ghaiughairg sending you another one: falling in love with your best friend's partner and stephjaytim (in any order)?

this took me ages to write for like… no reason xD

that said, i’m really proud of it; i loved writing steph’s POV!!

>> AO3 <<

Steph’s phone chimes, and she gladly slumps in her chair, rubbing her temples. She doesn’t regret her decision to go to college, but ooh boy does she come close sometimes—especially this close to exams.

Winter break cannot come soon enough.

She spins her chair until her desk is behind her and balances her elbow on the arm of it, cradling her chin in her hand. She thumbs her phone open. There are several unread messages, but only one catches her eye.

It’s from Tim, in the group chat she shares with him and Jason.

Her traitorous heart flutters, a smile curling on her mouth despite herself.

TIM: gna mss mv nte. sry steph 😔 m SO bhnd on bdgt rvw; tam’s gna kill me. u 2 shld stl hve fn tho

Ah, yes. Timothy “vowels are optional” Drake. He’s the most atrocious texter Steph has ever met, and she hates that that makes her feel fond.

STEPH: i thought you loved paperwork?

JAY: No, he’s a stalker who loves digging through other people’s stuff. Actual paperwork he couldn’t care less about

TIM: 🛑

JAY: No <3 I told you to do it last night, babe.

STEPH: lmao busted

TIM: ws bsy

JAY: He was gaming with Kon and Bart.

TIM: & cassie & cissie

JAY: And Cassie and Cissie.

Steph snorts.

STEPH: oh, well, that was more important, obvs

TIM: c, steph gts it

JAY: Please don’t encourage him.

Steph grins.

STEPH: oh btw i picked up brownies from the bakery this morning. needed a pick me up. i was thinking i could bring them tonight

JAY: Finals are rough, huh?

JAY: If you need any help studying, you can bring your stuff. I’d be happy to help.

Steph’s heart gives another little flutter.

STEPH: u’re sweet. think i wanna just turn my brain off for the night, though.

JAY: Fair enough. I’ve got ice cream. We could warm the brownies up, maybe. And do homemade pizza.

STEPH: that sounds perfect. u’re the best jay 💜

TIM: 😭

STEPH: do your paperwork, tim 💅🏼

TIM: prsctn

JAY: …wtf tim

TIM:

STEPH: damn, babe. u made jay drop capitals

STEPH: but also. what the fuck tim

TIM: persecution

JAY: Would it really kill you to type out full words?

TIM: y 🙂

STEPH: losing battle, hon. we’re lucky he still uses letters.

He doesn’t bother with Cass. Their conversations happen in full emoji, like modern hieroglyphics. Steph gives herself an 80% chance of correctly deciphering them.

With the rest of them, Tim uses words. Or, well. Something approximate to words, chopping them down to their basest parts and supplementing with emojis wherever possible. It’s kind of entertaining, especially when it makes Bruce and Jason furrow their brows in exactly the same way.

Not that Steph would ever point that out. She has some sense of self-preservation.

JAY: Point. Okay. Pizza, brownies and ice cream, and popcorn. Dinner of champions. I’ve got some fancy popcorn, but I’ll save that for next time.

TIM: 🥰

STEPH: suppose we can put some brownies aside for him too, yeah?

JAY: I suppose. He’ll have to live without pizza, though. I doubt there’ll be leftovers.

TIM: 🥰🥰🥰

JAY: 6 still work for you, Steph?

STEPH: Yeah, 6 is still good. Good luck on your paperwork, Tim. See you tonight, Jay 💜

As soon as she sends the text she groans, collapsing back in her chair and throwing her arm over her face. The heart was too much. Hell, the pet names were too much. Why were they still hanging out with her? She was so obvious.

Her phone buzzes twice. It takes her a moment to look at them, peering through her fingers.

TIM: thx. hv fn 2nite! ❤️

JAY: See you tonight, Steph. <3

The returned hearts do nothing to calm her pulse or lower her blush. But they do make her feel a little better, at least. She checks her alarms, double checking she still has one set for movie night. Then she gets up to stretch.

She’s got two more hours of studying left. Better make the most of them.

>> AO3 <<

#waffleinator-inator #jaytimsteph #dcu #tauriawritesfanfic #asks and answers

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thinkin-bout-milgram · 2 years ago

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Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage!

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico!

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references.

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death.

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.)

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth.

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image:

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image:

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

#admin venus #milgram #ミルグラム #kirisaki shidou #shidou kirisaki #milgram theory #i'd like to apologize if this is incoherent #i moved around a bunch of paragraphs and i don't wanna proofread rn #i have to pack and go home for spring break tomorrow and it's already 5 am #the lights only just came back on recently #it's been a power out for a while over here which is why the other admins were talking about battery so much #also the mv didn't have english subs right at the drop so we watched in french for a hot minute #that was fun #also apologies if i'm too much of a shidou apologist but legit i feel like his crime is at least extremely understandable #and he does genuinely seem to want to help #the audio drama made me emo though ngl #like... oh... THAT'S why you were commenting on Es being a kid and all that so much...#i lost my train of thought. anyways have your initial thoughts #i'm gonna try to get the futa/mu/shidou full theories up over the next week or so cause break

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strangeispowerful · 9 months ago

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Things you (probably) missed in the For Dear Life MV

Because i’ve watched it at least around thirty or more times now, and have spent several of those watchthroughs analyzing frame by frame, I thought I’d show some of the things I’ve noticed!!

lengthly analysis below cut!!

1) The chinese character 不 is written on the back sides of Narrow’s drafts. 不 as an adverb is simply “no”, but can be used as a noun to mean “failure”.. we can assume these are either rejected drafts or works in general.

It’s also interesting that the character here is chinese, but makes sense when considering the mentions of jiāngshī later in the song. But more on that later!!

2) The en translated lyrics here-

“..and because I don’t follow the directed dosage, I’ve only got a single pill left.”

As was pointed out in a niconico comment I found, pills like this are usually meant to be taken in sets of two. However, if the dose is increased to three, there will end up being only one left due to the odd number.

Another translation of this line I saw was, “and because I don’t follow the directed dosage, it’s just the lonely pill and me.”

In my opinion this is a more accurate translation due to the english word “me” being included in the original line: “bocchi no jouzai to Me”

3) Narrow isn’t only a visual artist!

It can be seen in this frame here that he’s stressing over what looks like an error message in a DAW—or a Digital Audio Workstation. Common DAWs include garageband, audacity, and so on, so it’s safe to say that Narrow also either composes or produces music.

Similarly, these three shots of his characters each seem to showcase a different art form. Pine is a visual artist with a canvas, Chocolate seems to be puzzling over writing/editing, and Gummy is a musician playing the piano and standing in front of an audio wavelength.

4) Thanks to these two stills, we can conclude that the For Dear Life mv takes place during January, and that Narrow mostly works at night, seeing as the phone reads 10:19PM (though this is pretty easily assumed).

The text on his phone also reads “there are no new notifications”.

5) The silhouettes of Flurry and Welter can be seen in the background of the second prechorus.

6) Narrow rapidly transforms between Gummy, Chocolate, and Pine when punching the hand guy.

7) During the "jitter, butter, step, you" sequence, there's actually an animated step on the word "step".

8) "Jitter, butter, step, you" actually sounds suspiciously like the Japanese phrase じたばたしてよ, "jitabata shite yo".

Please correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm not sure of this—but looking up translations of this phrase I believe it's an idiom that means something along the lines of "stop panicking/being so flustered". I tend to use ChatGPT as a translator, because it makes the most grammatically correct translations I've seen—but am aware that it's not always accurate. If someone could fact check that, that'd be super cool!!

Nonetheless, here's what I got after putting in the prompt to break the phrase down for me.

This little play on words is pretty clever too, seeing as he's described as "seeing pink elephants"— or actively hallucinating at this point in the MV. Of course a common Japanese idiom would sound like gibberish or complete nonsense.

9) After Narrow passes out in the bridge, the person who discovers his body is actually his younger self.

Shortly afterwards, we can also see Narrow briefly transform into his younger self for one frame before switching between his present self, Gummy, Chocolate, and Pine.

(Young Narrow compared to present day Narrow)

10) When Narrow smashes the award to the ground, he actually sheds tears.

It's just really sweet. good for him.

11) During the final chorus, the hand guys have little bandages on their hand heads—presumably because Pine punched the shit out of them.

12) And of course, more on the mention of jiāngshī:

The en translated lyrics here are: "If I remove the amulet, I'm Jiang Shi until death" or "I’m a hopping vampire to the bone if you rip off my talisman."

On jiāngshī, also called "hopping vampires" from Chinese folklore: “It is typically depicted as a stiff corpse dressed in official garments from the Qing dynasty, and it moves around by hopping with its arms outstretched. It kills living creatures to absorb their qi, or ‘life force’, usually at night…” (wikipedia, march 2024)

I definitely have something to say here about the symbolism of Narrow comparing himself to a reanimated corpse, and drawing parallels from such a thing to burnout and etc... but my thoughts aren't too organized on that yet, so I'll leave it for another time.

I think it's clever though that Narrow's antipyretic pads or fever patches are being used as a symbol for the fulu talisman seen on the foreheads of jiāngshī.

#bakui puts so much thought into these mvs it's insane #live laugh niru kajitsu #niru kajitsu #nilfruits #for dear life #煮ル果実 #bakui #vocaloid #vflower #analysis #vocaloid analysis #harlow yaps #whole ass essays

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cha-ra-nui · 1 month ago

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2024 Retrospective

Part 2: Digging through the dirt to find some silver

So, ignoring every group that failed to be interesting enough to write about, who is left?

Stray Kids for one, entirely on the strength of one song. Which speaks volumes for just how likable I think this group is, because “Chk Chk Boom” follows the same tired old YG format I complain about every year. But it turns out, it’s not the format that is boring, just how insanely lazy YG has been with it. Because no matter how I slice it, this song is fun. It’s just as cool and energetic as YG thinks their title tracks are. The music video elevates the song, and I can’t deny that part of what I love about it is that its release felt like an actual event in this year were nothing mattered. Deadpool and Wolverine in a KPop MV was truly a moment. But even apart from that the song just slaps, and it’s my most played KPop song of the year for it.

Then there’re their labelmates, the one big four rookie who’s distinct from their direct predecessor. Only because JYP isn’t trying to remake one of its own groups. They’re trying to remake one of SM’s, but well, semantics. NMIXX actually had a couple of songs I liked this year. Not the title tracks; “See That?” came close but ultimately lacks a hook, and “Dash” is just as awful if not worse than what I’ve come to expect from them, I don’t understand who that song is even for. “Sonar (Breaker)” was right there, why not promote that instead? But they did have a couple of interesting B-sides. “Run For Roses” comes very close to being a favorite of the year, but the chorus isn’t quite strong enough. The first verse is impeccable, and it’s a real shame that it doesn’t stay on that level for the entirety of its runtime. That is not to say that it isn’t still a good song, it just got frustratingly close to being great and doesn’t quite get there. And missed potential is really the theme for this group, isn’t it? I also enjoyed “Boom”, but “Love Is Lonely” ended up being the only song I somewhat liked on their next EP and that song is shockingly generic for how much a mess this group’s music usually is. And this is why this group is so frustrating. They have one of the strongest line ups 4th gen has to offer, and the songs JYP gives them are not doing them justice at all. But at least they still invoke a sense of frustration. Because even if the songs let them down just as much as everyone else this year, they fail in more interesting ways than just being painfully bland

I would like to say that I have no idea when I started rooting for Red Velvet, but I know exactly when, and I also know who to blame. I just have too many friends who’re SM stans, and SHINee truly is a gateway drug to this beautiful mess of a label. It doesn’t hurt that I loved Midsommar, which the MV for “Cosmic” pays homage to. I also always like Red Velvet more when they lean into the uncanny, as this group still looks and sounds like SM printed their perfect girl group in a computer to me. Clean and pretty to a point where even the quirkiness of their presentation can’t convince me that this group has a personality. This is not a slight against the girls necessarily, but against the production, and it’s a general problem I had with SM forever. And whenever Red Velvet embraces the uncanny in their concepts the sterility of SM’s productions works in their favor. The EP is also solid, something I cannot say about many KPop releases this year. Wendy’s solo “Wish You Hell” is quite charming too, and a good example for how to do a subdued title track well, even without making it super complex. It’s catchy, builds throughout its runtime, and Wendy has the vocal power to back it up (HYBE, please take notes).

Speaking of SM solos, Ten’s EP was a pleasant surprise. Not because I didn’t think Ten could pull it off, but because SM has a very shaky track record recently. “Nightwalker” though is a unique and memorable single. The entire EP is worth checking out, but the only B-side I keep coming back to is “Dangerous”, probably because I can easily imagine Key releasing it. The EP is also entirely in English, which I didn’t even notice at first. Don’t keep this kid in the dungeon SM, you’re wasting one of your biggest talents here.

NCT also got a few wins in this year. Granted, more losses than wins (and I’m not even going to comment on the scandal), but wins, nonetheless. Even though I still have no idea who NCT Wish is supposed to be for, considering SM has a new boy group they should be focusing on, “Songbird” is almost a textbook example for how to make a cute boy group song. Not only does it hit all the expected markers, but there’re also just enough twists on the formula to make the song memorable, like that little vocal run at the end of the first chorus. I also liked 127’s “Walk”. Considering I’ve long since held the opinion that SM should never touch anything even remotely resembling hip hop, no one is more surprised than me by this development. So, does that mean NCT gets good title track now? Ahahahaha. Guess. One year! Give me one year where I don’t have to mention a NCT title track as one of the worst releases of the year. Just ONE SM, please, I’m begging you! Well, at least “Smoothie” isn’t as awful as some of their previous releases. It’s not even the worst Dream has done. It’s still a hot mess I found intensely uncomfortable to listen to, but it could be so much worse. At least the instrumental track doesn’t have awful synths this time. And I also can’t bring myself to hate it too much, because at least it was trying something. It failed, wholesale, but in a year where KPop was drowning in soulless sludge I can at least respect that “Smoothie” tried enough to fail.

That is not to say that SM was always trying either, and RIIZE is truly the best showcase of what “not trying” by SM sounds like. They don’t have anything going for them right now. “Love 119” is bad in such a generic way that its failures aren’t even interesting to talk about. I could try talking about the lyrics. If the girl is that great and sets you free, why is she a killer then, make up your damn mind if this love is toxic or not. But even that is just. Lazy. Boring. A low hanging fruit I’m too tired to pick. So, what else is there? The mixing is bad. Congrats, that’s a recurring issue SM has. It’s a total one eighty from the image they’ve promoted with previously and afterwards. Yeah, duh, it’s SM, they’ve failed to tell their groups apart for at least a decade. What else? If “Songbird“ is a textbook example for how to do a cute boy group song well, then “Impossible” is a textbook example for how to do it. Not well, not badly. Just do it. It’s pure filler, and its aggressive genericness distracts from the mixing problems that are prevalent on this song as well. “Boom Boom Bass” at least manages to have a catchy chorus, and it’s also the best mixed title track SM gave these kids this year, but it’s also almost a beat-by-beat rehash of their debut song. Which means that it’s very repetitive and has barely enough content to fill its already short runtime. I guess “Lucky” is the best song they got this year then. The mixing is better than on “Impossible”, that’s where the praise ends. Because while there’s nothing wrong with this song, there’s also nothing special about it. This could’ve been a filler B-side on one of SHINee’s rookie albums, but SHINee at least would’ve had Jonghyun to give it some personality. And with that we’re right back at square one. This group has no identity. Show me a RIIZE song and one of the cute NCT releases and I couldn’t tell you which was which. The only difference between “Songbird” and “Lucky” is that I like “Songbird” better. The style is exactly the same, the groups are entirely interchangeable. And that’s not even accounting for the number of groups outside of SM who have that same generic image.

And the worst part is, even SM not trying is still more interesting than anything the last big four label is doing. YG has, in fact, released music this year. Incredible. Jaw dropping. No one saw this coming. Yeah no, I won’t even bother to pretend like I ever planned to give each of their groups a paragraph here. There is no point, because there’s clearly only one release I got to talk about. Deep sigh. BABYMONSTER’s “Sheesh”. Is this the worst song of the year? I don’t know, can it even count as “of this year” when it’s a rehash of a rehash of a rehash of a rehash of a – I’ll stop. It’s bad. Not even a hint of an original idea, and one of the worst choruses YG ever shat out. And the worst part is, that is the only thing worth mentioning about this entire label. YG’s (including THEBLACKLABEL) other releases are (predictably) such nothingburgers that there’s no reason at all to talk about them. They’re all generic rehashes of a formula that was generic and stale half a decade ago. “Sheesh” only manages to be noteworthy by being exceptionally bad at it, and none of their other songs fail that hard. They don’t matter, and it wouldn’t surprise me if no one remembers them.

And how better to examine how much of a drain on music quality YG is than to take a look at what BLACKPINK has been up to since their contracts expired? Lisa’s singles made me double check if she didn’t actually resign after all, that’s all I need to say. Queue the obligatory rant about how no one in this fucking industry seems to know what rock music is. None of you are rock stars, you sound ridiculous honey. Not like the other lyrics of “ROCKSTAR” are any better, this song is a serious contender for worst lyrics of the year. It’s the other girls who were rays of light here. Jennie might be trying entirely too hard in her “Mantra” MV, and it does not help the song that it’s using the exact same, awful “the girl I’ve been singing about is actually me no homo” twist YUQI’s solo used just months before. Once again, no points for creativity. What it gets point for is being very catchy and being the first BLACKPINK related release I actually downloaded in five years. Rosé meanwhile released a collaboration with Bruno Mars that became one of the biggest hits of the year, and for once I’m actually on board with that. While most Pop-KPop collaborations sound like the artists never met, and possibly didn’t even know who they were collaborating with, “APT.” is incessantly fun because Rosé and Bruno seem to be having so much fun together. The music video is half the charm, but the song matches that energy. Take some fun verses, a catchy hook, and a killer bridge, performed by two artists who sound like they’re having the time of their lives, backed up by a clean production, and you get yourself a song that seems impossible to hate. (On that note, check out Babymetal’s and Electric Callboy’s collaboration “RATATATA”, you’re welcome.)

That brings me to the random assortment of artists I liked enough this year to give them their own paragraph.

P1Harmony remains one of the strongest cases for 4th gen boy groups. “Killin It” was fun enough in that regard, but in the end, I remain a fan of KPop from back when choruses and bridges were a thing, and “Sad Song” at least delivers on the former. Don’t get fooled by the title, this song is pure fun.

Yena had a much better year this time, though to be fair, it would’ve taken effort to have a worse year than her 2023. But “Good Morning” was fun, and all four songs on that release are worth their salt, “Good Girls In The Dark” in particular continues her string of B-sides many would’ve preferred as the title track. “DNA” also is a nice Japanese single and makes her another member of the elusive but ever growing “why aren’t you in a rock band” club that I founded for WOODZ last year. “NEMONEMO” meanwhile is almost a JPop song in its incessant cheerfulness, and it narrowly avoids being annoying by being oddly sincere. Overall, I liked her releases this year, but mostly, I’m glad she could recover from that mess that was her last promotion cycle, and that she’s sticking to what makes her unique.

SISTAR19 was probably the most unexpected comeback this year, and surprisingly considering my gripes with the group, I really enjoyed it. “No More (Ma Boy)” doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it is catchy and there’s an undeniable power that comes with experience. Hyolyn and Bora own this song and their performance in a way that you just don’t see from less experienced idols. And watching Hyolyn’s “Wait”, as much as the target audience is obviously, definitely, aggressively not me, makes every sexy girl group MV look worse in comparison. It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly it is she does differently, but even harder to deny the effect. She makes it look easy and natural, like she could be doing this in her sleep and she’s enjoying every second of it.

I have no idea why I’m paying attention to tripleS as much as I am. Nothing they released so far was great. A lot of it was good enough to make me download the title track though, if just barely. And yet here I am again, writing about them. They’ve released a lot this year that didn’t stand out enough to warrant writing about. NXT doesn’t seem to be a proper unit, but “Just Do It” would’ve been a good title track if it had been. Aria has a lot to proof with a name like that, and “Door” isn’t a bad Kpop ballad by any means, but it doesn’t convince as a pitch for Aria as a vocal powerhouse group, nor does it do enough to be interesting on its own. Visionary Vision’s “Hit The Floor” did nothing for me. It's the full group album, “Assemble24”, that earned them a proper paragraph. “Girls Never Die” is probably their best title track so far, and the album has a couple of strong B-sides as well, most notably “Midnight Flower” and “Beyond The Beyond”, as well as the new version of “Dimension”. And having multiple strong B-sides in addition to a good title track was a real rarity this year.

Everglow earned a quick mention because at least they tried something with “Zombie”. All this song needed was a bigger final chorus, but it seems like the art of those was lost for good when the 2012 line up enlisted. Without that it is sadly stuck as a song that reminds me of better releases from a decade ago.

Finally, I don’t know if I could ever capture the weirdness of XG, but I have to try at least. This group should be an audiovisual nightmare, but there’s a method to the madness. And once you get used to it, their more sensible releases like “Something Ain’t Right” just don’t hit right. Not when released between the provocative and borderline incomprehensible “Woke Up” and “Howling”. Not when their other pretty pop song is as trippy as “IYKYK”. What all four singles have going for them though is the skill of the performers. Every single member knows to command attention, something that becomes increasingly more impressive when you consider the ridiculous styling they’re working with. There’s nothing conventional about the visual presentation of this group, but the further we get into this experiment, the more consistently it works. And when it all comes together, it’s stunning. They also got an animated MV to promote a Riot event, and while the animation is nowhere near the best we got out these, they delivered on the song.

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nyxxlikeskpop · 2 months ago

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TOP TEN FAVORITE KPOP SONGS OF 2024

((Here are my top favorites for the year. I will post the least favorites tomorrow. Friendly reminder that these are my opinions, you might feel different but I simply ask that you respect my choices.))

10. Lowkey - BM

This man is gonna be the death of me I swear..It's a sensual sexy good time and I just blush and go feral when I hear it..The beat is as smooth as the vocals and rap. Matthew never disappoints.

9. Sticky - Kiss of Life

Song of the summer!

It's just a really good Summer bop. I played it so much yet I haven't gotten tired of it. The girls were Iconic. I'm excited to see what the new year will bring for them.

8. Nemonemo - Yena

Not gonna lie. I want her to do a collab with Hatsune Miku please...

This song is so fun and bright. The MV matches the fun quirky vibes of the song and Yena as always just kills it impeccably.

7. APT. - Rose ft. Bruno Mars

I did not have liking a Blackpink solo release on my bingo card this year but I guess I underestimated Miss Rosé. This song is just genuinely catchy and fun. I absolutely recommend it.

6. Howling - XG

These girls never miss. I love how it can go from powerful and strong to quiet and almost haunting. And do not get me started on the MV. I need a short film immediately. These Girls are gonna dominate the world.

5. Work - ATEEZ

'Gotta make that money make purse.'

I am feral. I blasted this for at least a week when it first came out. The latin vibes are perfect and the choreo is just top notch.

They know how to balance the chaos and attractiveness so effortlessly it hurts.

4. Distraction - AleXa

It's just a really good pop punk vibe song. AleXa's voice is as always wonderful and brings the energy needed to match the beat. I can feel the emotion in each and every lyric.

Please go check her out!

3. Chk Chk Boom - Stray Kids

I just love these boys. So much. I was pleasantly surprised when I first saw the video had Hugh Jackman and Ryan Gosling as I was unaware they would be on the Deadpool and Wolverine soundtrack. The song is just so cool and wonderful.

2. On My Bike - Purple Kiss

I was hoping I could put this on the list when I heard they were having a Comeback. And they did not disappoint. I fell in love at the first note. The rock/metal beat is so powerful and the vocals match it perfectly.

1. Virtual Angel - ARTMS

I love this song so much. It's just...it's so good. The themes and symbolism..the beat..the lyrics..everything is so good. The M/V is also just so interesting to look at. I do recommend the human eye version though. Mostly because the original has very jarring editing and flashing lights.

#kpop #kpop opinions #favorite kpop songs #bm #alexa #stray kids #kiss of life #purple kiss #yena #artms #ateez #xgalx #rose

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dat-town · 1 year ago

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you are the knife i turn inside myself (that is love)

Characters: Seunghun & OC (Jieun)

Setting & genre: angst, hurt/comfort, set in the world of Save Me Kill Me MV

Summary: Jieun had always been an enigma. Yet, Seunghun can’t stop loving her.

Warnings: mentions of suicide (Yonghee’s), past attempted suicide (MC), bullying, parents’ divorce and neglectful behaviour (MC’s), deceased parents (Seunghun’s), academic pressure, depression (MC’s), therapy ‒ if any of these topics are triggering for you, please don’t interact with the fic. if you would like to know what to expect under any warning beforehand, feel free to send me an ask

International suicide hotline: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Words: 6k

Author’s note: it’s a spin-off to in your eyes i see another me, for my convenience I named the previous reader, as Jinah. I don’t think it’s a must to read it but it gives more context. Heavily inspired by the CIX story films and Save Me Kill Me MV, so the boys’ characters resemble that more than their idol personality. This story is heavily Seunghun-centric.

Title taken from Kafka, read the meaning here.

For @restlessmaknae, thank you for always being such a supporter, for introducing me to new music (and groups) and for fangirling with me over fictional characters or real people in general. I hope next year you find a place where they appreciate you the way you deserve it and that it will be a better one health-wise. I wish you more (kpop) concerts, travel experiences and happiness! love you <3

Seunghun couldn't tell when exactly he fell in love with Jieun. Was it love at first sight? The way her fringe had fallen into her dark eyes, the fierce fire in them, the way she had looked at him like everything was a challenge ever since the first day of high school? Or was it much later when she had held his trembling hand during his mother's funeral?

Seunghun wasn't sure but he knew one thing: he didn't remember how it was to not be in love with her. That's why it hurt when he started to notice her building up walls, acting weird and hanging out with Byounggon more. The boy told himself he wasn't jealous, he had nothing against the other guy after all, but lying could only take him that far.

Then his whole world turned upside down when it turned out that Jieun had a twin who pretended to be her while she was in a hospital. In a coma. Because of attempted suicide.

It was like an ice cold shower because Seunghun would rather have Jieun be with somebody else than dead. Or in pain. But Jieun was like a rose with sharp thorns, so to love her was like handing her a knife, ready to be hurt.

The smell of the hospital was the same. Seunghun remembered it all too well. It didn't matter that it wasn't the same building or that months had passed. He had spent too much time beside Yonghee's bed, praying that he wouldn't leave like his mom, to forget. And now here he was, right by the unconscious Jieun's side doing the same.

She looked so vulnerable in the hospital bed, all pale and put on machines that kept her alive. So unlike how she really was: wild and lively like ember among ash. Whenever Seunghun came to visit, his heart sank at the sight and he couldn't help checking the heart monitor just to make sure. Hoping that one of these days it would be different, that she would open her eyes and everything would be okay. What a wishful thinking but it's not like he had anything better to do.

"Your sister comes back from the UK tomorrow. You should see Byounggon, he's like an excited puppy," he recited, sitting on the uncomfortable metal chair next to Jieun's bed. He didn't believe she heard him but the nurses told him it could help, so he did his best. It made it feel less weird too, just being there, silent, watching her sleep. Like this, he could pretend they were gossiping, like she could chuckle anytime soon and call him out on his bullshit when he exaggerated. Not this time though; ever since Jinah notified them that she had finished all her final exams and was heading back to Seoul for the summer, Byounggon was restless. "How long do you think it will take them to get together officially? We all saw how they looked at each other and long distance can't be an excuse now."

Honestly, given Jieun's and Byounggon's arguing history, Seunghun didn't think the girl would have been thrilled to know that her twin got so close with the guy, but he would have rather taken her frustration than her silence at this point. He would have given anything for her to wake up. Maybe he was selfish but he wasn't ready to lose her too. Too many good people had left them last year.

"I miss you," he whispered, toying with a loose thread of her thin duvet. The realization wasn't sudden but his confession was. It tasted bittersweet on his tongue or like sour candy.

Seunghun gulped while watching Jieun's porcelain face, her dark lashes and listened to the rhythmical beeps of the machine beside her. Nothing even stirred. Gently, he reached out to take her hand in his, so cold against his sweaty palms, so still and unlike her. Jieun wasn't fond of public displays of affection after all. He sometimes got away with a brief hug or nudge on the shoulder, but Jieun was often quick to pull away. But she was like that with everybody, so Seunghun didn't take it to heart.

He squeezed her hand softly, suddenly nervous at being so daring, but naively he hoped that maybe the cliché things from dramas would turn out to be true for once. But no, even as he stood up to leave and let go of her pale hands, the heart monitor's beeps remained steady.

With Jinah back in town, they had one more person at those Saturday hang outs Hyunsuk liked to call movie nights in honour of the film club they used to be a part of.

Eventually all of them had graduated, even Byounggon and Jinyoung had managed to do so without having to retake the senior year. Seunghun wasn't sure it would have happened without Jinah. Sure, her lying to them and impersonating her sister had been morally wrong but with her around they had all gotten a new perspective: that they all had something to live for and none of the people who had left them would have wanted them to feel otherwise. At first, Seunghun had thought that it had been naive to think so, so unlike Jieun, but then he had gotten to know about her in the hospital and realized that maybe it had been their pessimistic mindset of theirs all along that had pushed the girl to the edge.

Hyunsuk and Byeol had gotten into the same college, sociology majors – she had wanted to study that and he hadn't known what else to do –, and it was cute how they lived their campus romance. Jinyoung had started working in a coffee shop and whenever they visited him, female customers were making heart eyes at him. Byounggon had gotten a job at a convenience store and often took night shifts because he had always been a night owl (and because with the timezone difference, this way he could talk more with Jinah), but with her back in time, it was most likely up to change.

And Seunghun? He had taken on a few children's dance classes to teach and was studying for the civil worker exam. With house bills to pay he couldn't allow himself to dream big. With all of them pressed up against each other on a couch, watching a movie, he was already paying his dream coins thinking of Jieun – that she would make faces but like this anyway –, wishing she was there.

It was almost the end of the visiting hours when Seunghun woke up. He didn't mean to fall asleep over Jieun's hospital bed, arms folded like a pillow but he was up late learning a new choreography. He loved the lack of crushing thoughts when he was dancing, the soreness in his muscles and the beats of music the only thing he was aware of. No what ifs or guilt or anxiousness, just dance. Except when Jieun had been watching him dance before because then his thoughts had been all about her.

The boy startled and pulled back, scooting back in his chair. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes. Then he froze, eyes widening.

Jieun was watching him.

Her eyes were misty and unfocused but she was awake. Seunghun stood up so vehemently that he almost knocked his chair back. Her name was a prayer of gratitude as he called it. The soft sound made the girl focus on him. Breathing through the plastic mask over her face, heartbeat measured by the wires put on her body, white hospital grown over her pale skin, Jieun seemed like a stranger but her eyes, they were still the same: sad but with fire in them.

Seunghun held his breath while a single drop of tear rolled down Jieun's temple, then she closed her eyes again right before the nurses arrived.

Seunghun was sent out while the doctors and nurses ran a million tests on the girl. He called Jinah and wrote in the group chat but he didn't know what else to do. He was pacing, walking up and down the corridor and while this was what he was waiting for, for her to wake up, it was also nerve-wrecking.

"How is she?" Seunghun ran up to the nurse who just came out of the room.

"Better than expected. But I can't tell you the details. Only family members are entitled to know medical details."

It left a sharp feeling in Seunghun's gut after spending in the hospital hours every week, but he wasn't surprised. He needed the family's permission to be able to visit too, so he didn't push it.

"Can I see her?" He asked instead, but the nurse looked at him uncertainly, with pity.

"I'm sorry but… the patient specifically said she doesn't want you to see her like that. Nobody apart from her family actually," she bobbed her head apologetically before hurrying away, leaving the boy behind.

Disheartened, Seunghun sank down onto the row of uncomfortable plastic chairs in the corridor and tried not to feel hurt. He knew how proud Jieun was, how much she hated to show weakness to others. He should have expected it, but it still stung.

He didn't know how much time had passed by the time the doctors and rest of the nurses left or when Jinah and Byounggon arrived. He just sat there, waiting, waiting. He wasn’t sure what for, not anymore.

Jinah told all of them that according to the doctors Jieun would make full recovery. She had to attend rehabilitation because she just spend months not moving and obligatory therapy due to the attempted suicide. She wasn't particularly happy about either of those nor having to repeat her senior year. But at least she didn't look like she was disappointed that she survived or so Jinah said. Not that they talked about it. Jieun wasn’t quite generous with words, not when it came to topics like this.

After a week of various examinations they would let her out of the hospital and she would spend two weeks in the mountains for recovery. Three weeks until Seunghun could see her again. If she was ready then.

"Seunghun, you are a beat behind. Where's your mind at?" His dance teacher's scolding pulled him out of his running thoughts.

Thoughts around and about her. Always her.

"Sorry," he mumbled and tried not to think of Jieun.

But he saw her even when he closed his eyes.

Jieun was alive and awake yet she had never felt farther. Seunghun's messages went unread on her phone and he only knew what was happening to her from Jinah. It felt wrong. Weren't they supposed to be best friends? When had it all gone wrong?

When she had jumped? Or when Yonghee had done?

Or when he had fallen in love?

Seunghun felt like she was slipping through his fingers like sand. It was almost like he was losing her all over again. For real, this time.

People said that it was natural to drift apart with your friends after school, once you didn't see each other every day, but he couldn't let go. He knew it wasn't about him graduating. Jieun was avoiding him. Seunghun told himself that she must have needed time. She was one of the strongest people he knew and she hated when she was seen as weak or vulnerable, she must have resented that he had been with her in the hospital. But how could he have not? At least he had been close to her that way.

The day after Jieun got back from the mountains, Seunghun got a text in the middle of his teens class. It was one simple message:

Can we meet?

His heart thrummed like a traitor when he saw it. He was sweaty and tired, but he wouldn't have missed out on the opportunity.

They agreed to meet at the park they often hung out later that night. Seunghun was more nervous than he would have liked to admit. His hands got clammy again after taking a quick shower and water droplets were still falling from his hair when he jumped on the bus. He was drumming on his knees to the rhythm of his heart, a jumpy little dance.

He didn't know what to expect. After months of not talking to Jieun, he wasn't sure. After her not wanting him to see her, he got even more uncertain. He kept replaying their last conversation. The one Jinah had confirmed wasn't with her. The way Jieun had smiled at him, nudged him playfully and stolen his fries. It had been painfully normal. He had used to beat himself up over not noticing the signs but all of them had been a mess after what had happened with Yonghee and Seunghun had been busy with his mother's funeral too. There had been a new norm after that, nothing had been the same, so nothing had felt out of the ordinary. Nothing had felt like ‘Yonghee all over again’.

Jieun was already there when he got to the park. She sat on a bench with her long hair falling onto her shoulders, moonlight shining on her fair skin beautifully. She wore her signature eyeliner and black nail polish which reminded Seunghun of times before she got to the hospital where she was pale and bare faced, looking young, innocent and so so fragile. Seeing her again like this knocked the air out of the boy.

"Hey," she looked up, straightening her spine a bit once she was aware of his presence. The small movement didn't sit well with Seunghun. They were closer than to act differently around each other… Or so he thought they were.

"Hey," he echoed and took the seat next to her, his hands gripping on the edge of the bench. It felt unreal, being so close to her again, and she was awake, warm and real. "You… you look better."

It was a clumsy compliment but Seunghun knew Jieun would have never let him get away with calling her pretty or something like that. She didn't like that and the boy never knew why but according to Jinah they were always compared based on their academics and looks too. Early signs of Jieun's rebellion came with her going against what their parents would have liked to see her as: the ideal, well-behaving, perfect little angel.

"Better than half-dead in the hospital? Jeez, thanks," the girl snorted and her tone made Seunghun wince. Joking with her almost dying wasn't funny to him. He didn't say anything though, so silence embraced them for an uncomfortable moment.

"I'm sorry," Jieun sighed eventually and she sounded sincere.

Seunghun wasn't sure why she apologized though. For the insensitive joke? For ignoring his messages? For not letting him visit her in the hospital once she was awake? Or for the reason she had been at the hospital in the first place? Nevertheless, Seunghun shook his head, not wanting her to blame herself.

"Don't be."

"I am," she insisted, her eyes intense when their gazes met. "I never wanted to hurt you."

The boy sucked in a breath.

He was at fault too: he cared too much. But he couldn't say it was okay nor he could say he wasn't hurt. He was so damn confused at the same time as he was just happy to have her back. Because she was back, right? She wouldn't disappear like that again?

He wanted to ask. He wanted to beg even though he didn't have the right to tell her what to do. He wanted her to stay, but they didn't talk about it, about the elephant in the room, since everything was still so fragile.

Instead Seunghun looked into her deep dark night of her eyes and smiled.

"I missed you," he said.

Stay with me, he wished.

"I missed you, too," she said with the smallest of genuine smiles in the corner of her mouth.

For then, it was enough.

Admittedly, Seunghun had feared that Jieun wanted to meet because she would have preferred to cut ties with him, that it would have been a goodbye, maybe her moving away or just trying to start a new life. He was terribly relieved when it turned out that she just didn't want to apologize over messages for being distant ever since she woke up. She just needed time and space and she didn't like the idea of him wasting his time beside her hospital bed like he had done with Yonghee, too. He wouldn't have called it a waste of time though, he'd had nothing better to do and he had wanted to be there for them. Since he hadn’t been able to help, this was something he could have at least done. But convincing Jieun something like this was a lost cause and he didn't want to argue. A part of him just wanted things to go back as they were but another part of him, the one that wasn't a coward, wanted to be mature about it and talk it through. But he was afraid Jieun would put her walls up and shut him out then and he didn't want to lose her. He knew how much she disliked that therapy already that she had to attend for a year.

So Seunghun did the next best thing he could think of: making sure Jieun had reasons to live. He started writing a list, a list that he hoped would never end, of things that he knew she wanted to do, achieve or see. Be it a band concert, a trip to Gangnueng or just a choker she bookmarked on her phone. He knew her well and long enough to easily come up with a dozen list items but the hardest part was being smooth enough at delivering these that Jieun wouldn't call him out on it.

Like when they were out late again one night and he thought using that excuse that he was hungry would be enough to suppress her doubts.

"It's just so random," she grumbled when he told her dinner would be on him. It wasn't even anything fancy, just bibimbap that she always loved.

"I wanted to take you out from my first paycheck but you weren't awake then, so here we are," he echoed the practiced explanation. Technically it wasn't even a lie, he had wanted to do that. But now he had one more reason to.

When they crossed an item off his unwritten list, Seunghun added two more points in its place. With time, it turned into a little bucket list about things he wanted to do with her. Hyunsuk teased him that it was almost like he was planning dates for them and Seunghun had to make him promise not to call them dates out loud in front of Jieun. So what if he wanted to try out the new bingsu place with her or watch falling stars together or discover old record stores? He just wanted to be with her.

He knew it was only a matter of time that Jieun noticed the pattern and actually said something about it and then it would end. Seunghun guessed she kind of already knew, she just entertained him by letting him throw in a new idea for every weekend. Sometimes she asked if he shouldn't have studied instead but eventually let him be after listening to his nonsense excuses like how taking a break would fuel his productivity eventually.

Seunghun thought he could act like nothing had happened. Because it seemed like this was what Jieun wanted.

But sometimes he just couldn't.

"Jinah told us that you went to a psychologist," he said quietly after they visited Yonghee and his steps halted when Jieun fell behind.

"She shouldn't have. She had no right," she snapped, sounding both cold and angry at the same time, brushing past him, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

It was exactly what Seunghun wanted to avoid, but the cat was already out of the bag, so he didn’t want it to be an affair to brush off. He caught up with the girl, grabbing her wrist just temporarily to stop her and slip in front of her vision.

"You could have told me," he added, quiet and gentle, and Jieun's anger seemed to fade. She always seemed to soften just a bit when it came to him. Maybe that was also a reason why he fell for her. Because she made him feel special.

"You were struggling already because of your mom on top of what happened with Yonghee," she reasoned and Seunghun wished that she would have been more selfish than that. How could she have thought that her struggles would have been too much on top of everything as if she mattered less to him?

The boy sighed, shaking his head.

"That's not the only reason," he argued because he knew her and she respected him enough not to deny.

"That's not the only reason," she agreed, keeping eye contact. Brave, brave Jieun, why was she so afraid of showing vulnerability as if it was a weakness? Didn't she know that he wouldn't have thought less of her because of something like that?

"Can you tell me now? What happened? I would have never thought that you…" Seunghun wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence and it was probably the worst timing and not the best location either. But at least the streets were vacant and they were the only people under this alcove. The stars would keep their secrets.

"I wanted to know how Yonghee felt," Jieun shrugged, trying to play it off but Seunghun saw the nervousness in her movements, the way she put her weight from one leg to the other. “Was he scared? Was it fast? Did it hurt? Maybe if it was fast and painless, it would be easier to accept it.”

Seunghun imagined her walking over the bridge, watching the river rush by underneath her and thinking of Yonghee. Of the boy with the gentlest soul and all those bruises on his fair skin. He imagined her screaming and reckless, finding comfort in the dark and the waves. The impact of her jump held magnitudes. It could never be fast and painless, not for those who loved them.

“Do you know what was the last thing I told him?” Jieun asked but Seunghun didn’t answer.

How could he have known when she had never told him? What he knew was that she had gotten into an argument with Yonghee not much before he had left them. But that was nothing new, Jieun had got into her fair share of arguments with all of them, especially Byounggon, because she was like an ember, fierce and restless. Yonghee had known this, he had known that her words were sometimes harsher than she intended.

“I called him a coward. I told him he was weak. That if he wasn’t going to stand up for himself, it’s like he’s letting them kill him,” Jieun’s lips trembled and she looked away, her voice getting breathy. “We were his safe space and I made him feel like he was a disappointment. I…”

A sob escaped her. It was so sudden that Seunghun didn’t see it coming. He had never seen Jieun cry. Not at Yonghee’s funeral, not when she had broken her arm trying a skateboarding trick in their freshman year. Yet, it was like an instinct: winding his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. He half-expected her to push him away, to build up the walls once again just to prove that she was strong and independent. But maybe, finally she knew that from time to time it was okay to be vulnerable, with the right people it wasn’t a bad thing.

“I… What if that was the last straw? What if it was like I pushed him over the edge?” She sobbed into his shirt and he held her tighter as if he could keep her together as she was spiralling down. He had no idea she held so much guilt and grief inside.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered into her hair and murmured other reassuring words while storing her back. Yes, they were all bystanders and maybe they could have offered help, could have pushed more but Yonghee had loved them and he insisted that he was okay. There was no way they could have known what had been going on behind his smiles.

Jieun cried for a long time. Years worth of tears dried up on Seunghun’s white tee as she pulled back and wiped away the rest from her cheeks.

“Shit. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you,” she sighed, her voice raspy from all that crying and the boy practically saw her build up her walls level by level as she composed her facial expressions and wiped away her smudged makeup. She was mentally running away, so the boy told her the only words he thought that could stop her.

"Jieun... you are the strongest person I know."

The girl blinked at him in disbelief, his reflection clear in her shiny eyes.

"Do you really still think that?" She asked ironically with the certainty of someone ragged and patched up, scars from her fall still fading into her pale skin. But to him, she had never been broken.

"Yeah, I really do," Seunghun nodded, convinced and genuine.

She had never looked stronger.

Seunghun was hovering over his textbooks in the pleasant warmth the coffee shop where Jinyoung worked provided when somebody stopped by his table. His first thought was the barista boy but the mellow female voice that greeted him proved him wrong. Even after months of knowing Jinah, sometimes the striking similarity of the twins still surprised him. Most likely because he had spent years without knowing about the other girl's existence. But now that he knew and the girl stopped pretending to be Jieun, it was also painfully obvious in just how many subtle ways they were different. It wasn't just about the lack of eyeliner – which Byounggon had noticed since day one –, but the way they styled their hair, the way they dressed or the way they talked. There was that warm smile on Jinah's face too that Jieun so rarely showed. Looking back it was impossible to not tell them apart.

"Hi, how's studying?" She asked, sounding sincerely curious as her fingers intertwined over her iced frappé.

"As okay as it can get," the boy shrugged, straightening his back, using her presence as an excuse to focus on something else other than the material. "And what are you doing here?"

"Just getting coffee while I wait for Gon to finish his shift," she explained and glanced at her watch, checking the time, before pointing at the chair across from Seunghun. "Can I join you until then?"

"Sure," the boy nodded, trying not to show any lingering awkwardness that remained from the time when she had been pretending to be Jieun. He wasn't angry at her anymore, he understood her reason no matter how wild it was but he still couldn't forget the confusion he had felt when he had thought he had been starting to lose Jieun to Byounggon only to realize that it hadn’t been her to begin with.

Small talk with Jinah wasn't as awkward as he thought though. He asked her about how she was holding up in the Korean summer weather and told her about his upcoming civil servant exam. Only when they seemed to run out of easy topics like that did she bring up her sister.

"Did Jieun tell you anything about Gon and me?" She asked, fidgeting with her napkin.

Seunghun furrowed his eyebrows. Why would they have talked about them? Was something up? Should he have known something? He thought things were going well.

"Uhm, no. Why?"

Jinah seemed a bit uncertain at the outright question. She was probably embarrassed to bring it up herself.

"She doesn't really like him, huh?" She whispered, tapping her nails against the glass. "And it's not like I need her approval but... she's still my sister, you know."

Well, Seunghun didn't know. He didn't have any siblings and up until last year he had no idea Jieun had. But after getting to know Jinah and their close bond with her twin despite being separated for years, he thought he understood why she felt that way.

"Jieun doesn't hate Byounggon or anything like that. They are just too similar in a way," he told her eventually, thinking of how vocal they both could be about their opinions, how fierce they could fight for their loved ones or how reckless they could be if they thought it was the right thing to do. They had similar enough personalities to clash because neither of them liked to be proven wrong... or seen vulnerable. They were the lone wolves that could lead packs. "Maybe the same reason why she doesn't think she is fit for happiness is why she would prefer if you stayed away from him."

Jieun was good at holding grudges but the one she forgave the hardest was herself. As if she didn't deserve it just because she made some honest-to-god mistakes.

"The same way she stays away from you?" Jinah asked and Seunghun's eyes widened, his ears on fire.

"Did she–"

"She didn't need to say anything, but I can tell that she is guarded whenever it's about you. She cares about you, a lot, but she doesn't want others to know," Jinah interrupted him before he could have asked and yeah, that sounded very much like Jieun. "While I was pretending to be her, I heard girls whispering that she didn't deserve you. That's also probably why she had 'bitch' written over her locker and who knows what else happened to her that made her think it would be a bad idea to… let you closer, I guess."

Seunghun hummed, more to himself than to her, his hands in fists, knuckles white in his lap. Was he a bad friend for not knowing about it? For thinking that something so petty couldn't get to Jieun?

He wasn't sure he had the right to ask more even if Jinah knew more, so he stayed silent and then watched Jinah's face brighten and following her gaze, he saw Byounggon by the door, with the same, small but happy smile on his face. They were so obviously in love that it made Seunghun wonder when it had stopped hurting for them.

Seunghun made a plan. It wasn’t a very thorough or foolproof plan but summer was ending and he really should have stopped being a coward. Life was short and he didn’t want to live with regrets.

He asked Jieun to meet at the playground in the park where they often hang out. This late it was empty and Seunghun was sitting on one of the two metal swings, enjoying the last of the summer breeze in his face. Jieun arrived with soft steps and a not so soft push on his swing. Her laughter that followed his yelp was a chime of bells in the night.

"So what's the occasion?" She asked, straight to the point, taking a seat next to him, not yet sensing his nervousness, so the boy decided it was better to just tip off the bandage.

"I thought we could get away from the city before you go back to school," he said once he was sitting up straight again. He reached into his backpack and handed her a return train ticket to Gangneung, her favorite beach town. She took it with a frown, her surprise morphing into something akin to embarrassment mixed with frustration. Not a good sign but the boy tried not to lose hope as he waited patiently for her to say something.

"You don't have to do this. You don't have to, I don’t know, trying to convince me that life is beautiful or whatever," Jieun scoffed but her fingers grazed across the paper ticket in her hands like it was something precious. Her addition almost sounded like resignation. "I don't want to die."

The not anymore echoed somewhere between them.

"I know. But I want to do these things with you," Seunghun insisted because it wasn't just about that. What happened to her made him realize that life was fragile and fleeting, he didn't have all the time in the world to wait around for a chance with her. He didn't want to procrastinate these plans anymore.

But it wasn't enough for Jieun, it never was. She liked logic and reasons and the truth.

"Why?" She asked firmly and Seunghun felt like he was held at gunpoint.

Because we are best friends sounded like a lie.

"I want to be the one you do these things with," he admitted and it sounded like a confession. He didn't plan it but his voice softened as he looked at her, his eyes were probably full of the longing he tried to hide so hard all these years because he knew she would reject him for a better or worse reason.

"Seunghun…" Jieun sighed and he thought this was it, she knew and she would reject him. Of course, she knew. He wasn't exactly subtle, even Jinah knew and she knew him for the least amount of time. Jieun looked at him and the boy held his breath, waiting for the blow. The invisible gun, aimed at his heart, fired. "You deserve better. I'm such a mess and a bad influence. You deserve a pretty girl who is kind and patient."

It didn't hurt as much as he expected. Jieun said nothing about her feelings or that his were ridiculous or one-sided. She just said what she thought was true because she had no idea how he saw her, how much he could thank her. She might not have been the conventional idea of pretty but to him, she was the prettiest. And bad influence? When it was her who pushed him to believe in himself and keep trying because he could do anything?

"I don't want anybody else," he said because he knew he couldn't have convinced her of anything else. “I like you.”

Jieun abruptly stood up from her swing and leaned over him, grabbing the metal chains to support herself just above his hands, her hair falling around them like a silk curtain and her warm breath fanning over his skin. Seunghun felt heat rush to his cheeks as he kept eye contact and warmth spread through his whole body from the point where her pinky brushed against his fingers.

"Why me?" Jieun asked and it was the most ridiculous question because the boy couldn't have said why it could not have been her.

The girl who had taken the blame when they had gotten caught being late from school because there had been a long queue for the waffle they had bought before classes. The one who had been there for more of his dance recitals than his own parents. The only one who had told him he could do it even when he hadn’t believed it. His safe place. His first love.

"It could never be anybody else," he whispered. He didn't mean it literally and she knew it. There were girls who had approached him before both in class and at the dance academy but he didn't care. To him, there was only Jieun.

"Idiot," she murmured but there was no edge to her words, only fondness. She sat back down on the swing next to him, feet kicking sand.

Seunghun turned to her, watching her expressions closely before he reached for her hand. First, he just tentatively held it, half-expecting Jieun to pull away, like she always did but when she didn't, he intertwined their fingers. They were both holding on.

What was love if not this? Feeling content just by sharing a space, this kind of closeness between two people? Knowing that by being vulnerable with them, they could hurt you and yet you willingly give them the power because you hope they wouldn't? Why? Because they love you too.

#cix angst #cix scenarios #seunghun angst #seunghun scenarios #cix seunghun #stories

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borathae · 1 year ago

Note

Can we get soft MV Koo moments with oc and moments with tae (just like the yoongi one no smexy details unless you want of course) I just love the fluff you write 😭

Of course you can get soft moments with them 🥺

Sanguis Koo

he sucks at texting

omfg besties it's so bad

he regularly forgets to check his phone and accidentally ignores at least five different people

luckily for him, everyone of the family knows that he's the worst texter in vampire history jfasdjf

they tease him about it constantly

especially OC

she sometimes texts him something, knowing very well that he won't see it

just so she can storm to his wing and go all like "uhm hello don't ignore me" and give Koo a little startle

she'll snicker instantly though so he always knows she's just being playful

and he'll give her a fond grin and a pat on her butt

"do you wanna hang out together?" he'll ask because it's most definitely always the reason she came here in the first place

"yes I do. I was thinking maybe we could go for a swim in the lake?"

OC and Kook love swimming together

listen, I know this is such a random way to spend time together but swimming in the estate's lake really bonds them

so they do A LOT of it in the warmer months

and during the colder months they go ice skating

but back to the summer months

they are by the lake a lot

swimming, sunbathing, having picnics with Yoongi, napping and making out

sometimes they also fuck, but that's not what these HCs are about

sometimes Kook wants to show off to her by diving all the way to the bottom of the lake

he is successful most of the times, returning with a little stone or shell for her which she'll accept with a big smooch to his wet cheek

also okay okay OKAY sometimes he goes under the water just so he can dive up between her legs and therefore lift her onto his shoulders

it'll be close to shore where he can stand already and it always ends in her squeaking and giggling and grasping his head tightly

"Kook oh my god, you doofus let me down."

"Never, you're living on there now."

it's honestly such a nice time filled with giggles and innocent kisses

Sanguis Tae

their favourite way to bond?

dancing

oh my god, you guys they love to dance together

whether it's in the estate to Tae's vinyl player

or in the garden when Tae comes up behind OC and hugs her tightly

and of course, in dance clubs as well

Tae loves to take her to dance clubs and then guide her over the dancefloor until her feet ache

their shared favourite are jazz clubs and swing clubs

they'll dress up in fancy evening clothes

(Tae will insist on putting on her jewelry and shoes for her. he is a gentleman after all)

then they'll take one of Tae's perfectly polished oldtimer cars and drive into town

or a neighbouring town to dance the night away

Tae will be the one paying for everything even if she insists that he doesn't have to

"please my darling, a lady shouldn't have to pay. Allow me to treat you."

she can't say no to him because he'll always make the cutest puppy eyes at her

sometimes, when time allows it, they take a romantic weekend trip to Paris and then spend the nights in jazz clubs

and the days wandering around the city

also omfmgm sidenote, but Tae will ALWAYS massage her feet after a long night of dancing

he'll prepare her a warm bath, some champagne and light some candles

and then he'll get in the water with her

he'll position himself so he is by her feet and he can massage her feet as she relaxes

can you guys tell that I like my men devoted and eager to serve? fjajdsfja

#asks: sanguis duology #anon #asks #hcs #hcs: sanguis duology

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1moremilgram-enjoyer · 1 year ago

Note

Hm... Amane: 1, 3, 13, 15 for Amane and Muu: 1, 2, 9, 10, 11, if that's alright!

Yep! Thanks for the ask! Sorry if this took a bit, been busy.

(Ask game)

CW Cults and indoctrination, child abuse, murder, bullying

Amane

1- Favorite song lyrics?

Oh, God, she has so many good ones. Let's go song by song.

[Magic] But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

[...]

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile Forever, forever together would be a dream

I pick these ones because they're the most mentally scarring lyrics in Magic in my opinion! And as an Amane Momose enjoyer, I always love it when she inflicts psychological torture on us!

The first one is just horrifying because of how much Amane forces herself to see what's happening to her as "love", even though the situation is horrible. "Mercy without limits" incident flashbacks.

The other line is just as horrible. Self-loathing ("if I could be a good girl") because she dares to have such sinful desires as *checks notes* putting a little napkin over a cat's injury. And then "I hope everyone can be happy and smile" never fails to make me horrendously sad. She just wants people to be happy! She wants to be the "Happiness Support Sister"! But her mother's always mad at her because she's a "bad girl". I am so hurt.

[Positive Parade] You can take the opportunity to hold me close and you can share the burden of your worries with me You say it's embarrasing, but I'm embarrased too, you know!

This is my favorite line outside of the context of Amane, because it's just really sweet. Positive Parade is such a nice song, and this particular line always brings a smile to my face!

Now back to your regularly scheduled mental torture, my favorite part of Amane's cover specifically is the "we can't stop" that she sings more sinisterly than any other. It really carries so much hopelessness, just- we can't stop following doctrine and trying to be happy and it hurts so much and is this really going to go on forever it is isn't it we can't stop-

Yeah I really like that change. Makes me sad!

[The Purge March] After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry” You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?

If there's one thing I like just as much as Amane angst it's Amane anger. The jarring shift from "you have to say sorry so I can forgive you! :D" to "You're sorry? PFFFFFT- Go fucking die" is awesome. It really highlights the difference between the cult's doctrine and Amane's righteous anger at the people who hurt her, and how spiteful she sounds by reminding her mother of Amane's own pleas of "sorry." I'm just fascinated and thrilled any time Amane gets furious, it's becoming a problem.

[Animal] The mask comes off and the beast comes out, I do it wild even if it’s ugly I can’t do sit, I can’t even do stay, purr until I go Layers of makeup, the perfect animal, I'm waiting with my eyes wide open I can’t do sit, I can’t even do stay, purr until I go

I love the Animal cover in general, which means my favorite line is the one that really encapsulates the entire song. Amane not being able to "be a good girl" by following order, because when the makeup is off, she's an "animal." Cat parallels! Followed by a reminder that it takes layers of makeup, layers of hiding her true nature and desires to be the "perfect animal". Amane angst, gotta love it (<- holding back tears)

This is followed closely by the part at the end where she hisses, btw. The wilder Amane gets, the better the world becomes.

3- Favorite non-MV official illustration?

Oh, this one's hard to pick between these two for me:

The duality, huh?

The 3rd anniversary artwork (left) may just be her Magic outfit, but her dead stare really makes it compelling. She looks so done with your bullshit. She looks like you just told her you voted her Unforgiven and is seriously considering dealing out divine punishment.

One thing that really interests me is that she's holding the 'wand', but she doesn't have the cloud ribbon thing, she still has the black bow tie. And her cloak is still draped over her, it hasn't turned to wings. I wonder if this is supposed to be Amane right before her murder, in the moment of Magic where she grabs the wand, but before undergoing her magical girl transformation. So when she grabs the stun gun (assuming she did use it) and before attacking her mother.

But ultimately, I think I like the birthday cake art a bit more! She looks so happy! Look at her :D

I also love all the details about it. The fact it's not really a cake but rather a plain-looking muffin because of the whole "she doesn't eat sweets even though she really wants to" thin. The feathers to represent... I guess innocence or something like that? I'd have to think about it a bit more.

And yet, the horrors lurk. The thunderbolt and trumpet cookies, possibly referencing Riyone's and Gachata's punishments. The way the flower thing behind her is almost styled to look like a fountain, and water... Gozake... yeah... yeah... Yuuri doesn't seem to be referenced but oh well.

But ignore the horrors! Doesn't she look adorable in that dress? Look how happy she is!

13- Any ideas on what would they and their MV be like if they got a different verdict in T1?

Oh, hell if I know. Amane is a very unpredictable character on the best of days, so it's really hard to say.

I'd imagine her attitude would have stayed similar to what it was during T1, so a lot more upbeat than how she currently is. She likely would still be saying "I" instead of "we", which means we may not have seen the army of Amanes which as a whole (the way I interpret it) represent her faith in the MV, though it's still possible it would have been there.

One thing is that although she'd agree with her verdict, she may not agree with the things the voices would say. The way I interpret the voices is that they essentially repeat the arguments given for the verdict they got, but not the arguments for the verdict they didn't get. So in canon I believe she heard things like "we need her to understand something's wrong" or whatever people where saying, but in an alternate reality where she gets innoed, she would hear things like "she's just a child, she doesn't understand what she did" (general consensus before Purge March I think?). Why am I explaining this? Because I feel we'd have a Yuno-type situation where Amane gets angry at the voices pitying her and saying that she had no control over the situation. She'd probably repeat a lot of what she said in her first VD lol.

One thing that worries me about this verdict is the whole "making Milgram the perfect world" thing. In her first VD she kinda tried to strike a deal with Es like Kotoko did, so she'd feel extremely betrayed if she got a T2 Guilty. But beyond that, would she be more proactive on "fixing" Milgram if she had been innoed? How would that manifest? Would she speedrun the "attack Shidou" arc with her full freedom? I kinda doubt that, but it's possible.

As for her MV, really no idea. I feel like it would be more similar to Magic than Purge March, really. I don't even know if we'd have gotten real world scenes or if we would have stayed entirely in-metaphor like Magic, though I imagine we would at least get clarification on the cat being an actual cat lol. I really wonder if we would even learn who her victim was. Again, I have legitimately no idea.

15- What do you think of their voice?

I love it! Tanaka Minami does a fantastic job expressing all of Amane's really weird emotions in her voice! Love the singing, love the VDs, adore the voice reveal distorted lines (that T1 line has scarred me forever, thanks for that!), I love it! I especially love things like the haunting background lyrics at the end of Magic, the "we can't stop" in Positive Parade, the super upbeat "you're sorry? I don't care! Please go ahead and die already" in Purge March, and the laugh that trails off in Animal right after the "why don't we do it m0re?".

Muu

1- Favorite song lyrics?

[After Pain] If you’re going to make me the villain It’s ok to ignore me If it’s endurance, I’m used to it. It’s just having another taste of it But I see it in my dreams even though I erased it Maybe I’m done Just one more time before saying goodbye I’m just kidding, please forget I said that

I was torn between this one and the "let's meet up inside the pain - I love YOU" section, especially since I really like how the latter sounds, but I like the lyrics I chose a bit more.

"If you're going to make me the villain, it's okay to ignore me" hints at Muu's desire to always be pitied, which is already fun, and while the "endurance" part likely refers to the bullying, I've always wondered if Muu means something else when she says she's "used to it." There's gotta be a reason she feels a lot of people are jealous of her, maybe?

"Just one more time before saying goodbye- I'm just kidding, please forget I said that" is just really sad. She still likes her old friends, girl get better taste T_T I also like that this line explains DSCF because I really had no idea what the hell that was about when I first saw it with Muu.

[Otome Dissection] It's in pieces, without spelling out "love" It's a penalty shoot-out, Feelings vs. Boredom Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, Shedding tears, meowing "SOS" with their eyes only halfway open

Cat people and DECO*27 songs, name a more iconic duo.

Keeping in mind the singer is the kid meowing SOS, I like this line because of the nonchalance of the "yeah, I'm lost and need help, but that's not the problem. The problem is I'm bored. I'm more interested in the 'penalty shoot-out of feelings vs Boredom'". It really helps visualize the way the singer hides their very real mental distress as just a matter of boredom, pretending like that's the only reason she "plays Otome dissection." Same idea with Muu, because as much as she likes being pitied, she does not do a good job at conveying why she does the things she does, such as bullying people.

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all! I’m sure I’ve made no mistakes you can find. Gather that nectar, more and more, and come bring it to me, ‘kay? It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

(From the wiki)

I've noticed a pattern where my favorite lyrics tend to be the ones that really encapsulate the song's message, and this isn't really an exception. I love how unapologetic Muu is about everything, it's part of what makes her such an interesting character! The lines are pretty straightforward, so all I really have to say is that it's really fun seeing her fully indulge in her "Queen Bee" attitude.

[DSCF] And so we're the Delusional Sentimental Compensation Federation We embrace love and shout out our ideals A melody of fools with nowhere to go Retry - Rebirth - Teleportation We keep trying, but it keeps dying At the mercy of an endless love

(Using this translation btw)

I really have to make more cover analyses, these things are fun.

Going back to the idea that I love the lyrics that represent the song's messages the most, here we have the basic idea of DSCF, of the singer trying to rebuild a broken relationship even though "it keeps dying." She understand it's a delusional idea, hence the name, but they're "fools with nowhere to go", so they have to try to hold it together anyways. I like the pairing of teleportation with "retry - rebirth", given the idea that teleportation could be achieved by destroying one thing and reforming it in a different place, sorta what they're trying to do with their relationship.

Back to Muu, this is either about Rei and it's the gayest thing in Milgram since Cat, or about her friends which I find a bit more likely given the idea of rebuilding a relationship rather than anything else. It fits the "just one more time before saying goodbye" line from After Pain at least. So you know, fun!

2- Favorite MV moment/frame?

For individual frame, and my favorite part of It's Not my Fault, it has to be this.

I am noticing I adore when character's eyes do weird shit. Look at how happy she is after murdering Rei! (<-She is in severe emotional distress). This shot just lives in my head rent-free.

But for favorite scene, it's the whole section between these two shots of After Pain.

So the build-up and the murder. But specifically the build-up. Musically it's my favorite part of Muu's videos, and the immense feeling of "something really bad's about to happen" is incredible. The quick switching between Rei walking away, and Muu running out of the school, with the murder of crows flying away because you know what's going to happen. And probably because Muu knew too; she ran out of the school without a backpack yet with a box cutter in hand, she had to have known murder was a way that could end. Plus the imagery of the hourglass being sideways, as the power dynamic it represents can no longer be determined to have someone on top, and rolling down a staircase, as it's about to completely break. One of my favorite build-ups to a murder in the entirety of Milgram probably.

9- Do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

Oh boy, is this one hard to answer!

So, there's a lot that complicates this question. Let me run down the full situation so I can try to figure out my own feelings about it.

I want to clarify, by the way, that from an outside "Muu is just a fictional character" perspective, oh absolutely no problems. Slay queen, I hope you get worse! But I feel like that's not really the point of the question, right? It's to ask how we would feel if they were real people and stuff.

Muu was a bully, or rather, she spearheaded a bully group without physically engaging in the bullying herself, if her claims in Queen B are to be believed. Shitty behavior, but also she's a dumb teenager, this isn't exactly unforgivable.

Then Rei comes in, tries to defend one of the bullies' victims, Muu thinks she's jealous, the bullying turns on her. Here comes the first problem; we know Rei managed to turn Muu's "friends" against her, but we have zero clue how the hell she did that. We don't know what Rei's role in the bullying really was at all. For all we know, she may not have actually done much, but Muu still blamed her so as to not blame her old friends. Particularly, in After Pain, we see Rei stumbling into Muu after she was harassed by the bullies, and she just walks away. So she didn't seem preoccupied with protecting Muu, but she didn't directly hurt her either, from what we've seen.

Not to downplay Rei's involvement. If Muu thought killing her would end the bullying, then I'm sure she was certainly the main motivator for it.

However, it's important to note murder wasn't Muu's preferred solution. She did try to apologize to Rei, though how sincere she was could be debated, and it was only when Rei rejected her that Muu took drastic action. So Muu had to really feel cornered by what was going on.

So let me say, I don't really take Muu bullying people into consideration for whether I forgive her or not. A lot of teenagers bully others, and while it's a very shitty thing to do, it isn't unforgivable, and certainly not when compared to murder.

But then comes the other thing. By the same reasoning, Rei didn't do anything bad enough to deserve what happened to her, which I think should go without saying but y'know. She's not blameless, she definitely hurt Muu a lot, especially by essentially having her isolated by turning her "friends" on her, but death is way too much.

I don't want to make it sound like Muu didn't suffer or anything. The whole situation is horrible on all sides. And the thing is, ultimately Muu is still very young, and the murder was entirely emotional. Muu tried until the end to resolve things somewhat peacefully, even though again she did leave the school with the box cutter in hand. It's pretty clear to me she wouldn't kill again, obviously, and as a teenager she certainly has a lot of room to grow.

So ultimately, I do forgive Muu, even though her murder on its own is one of the least forgivable in Milgram in my opinion. But "one of the least forgivable" doesn't mean "unforgivable", it just means in comparison to other things it's not so easy to look past it.

10- Is the answer to the previous question different from your vote(s) on the character themselves (do you vote them based on anything else aside from the crime)?

Uh, well I wasn't around for Muu's voting, so I'm not really sure. I think in T1 I would have voted her Forgiven, since without any info on what voting did I think I would have gone off my actual feelings on the murder.

In T2 I'm a bit more torn. I think voting her Forgiven wouldn't make her a better person, while voting her Unforgiven... well, is it going to help? She definitely places a lot of value on what people think of her, and does have moments where she's not entirely sure if what she did was the right decision, so it's possible she'll regret it a bit more and she might become a better person.

But here's the thing. Ultimately Milgram's system wouldn't help Muu in a very good way. It would inflict more mental distress than really necessary, just to possibly try to make her a bit better. As I said, I highly doubt Muu would kill again unless she faces extreme situations, so ultimately, the only risk of voting her Forgiven is that maybe she'd be a bit meaner. And between how torturous Unforgiven verdicts are, and especially with Haruka's threat in mind (I do not think for a second the restraints will prevent him from at least attempting suicide), I think I would have maybe ended up voting her Forgiven again, with the hope she can find proper help outside of the Hell Prison. But again, maybe I should think about it more. Her verdict is certainly a pretty complex one.

11- What are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

Oh, this is always hard to pick. Muu's story has a lot of really interesting points, but I'm not the biggest Muu understander so explaining why they're cool is kinda difficult for me. But if I have to pick just one thing, it's the fact she's so unapologetic about her crime! It just makes her extremely entertaining, love it when the girlies are just Evil (<- hyperbole, all characters in Milgram are morally grey, blah blah blah).

Just that on its own is fun enough, but the fact she still wants her feelings validated externally by being pitied and Forgiven makes it so much more interesting! Unlike, say, Amane, who fully believes she's in the right and ignores (or at least does her best to ignore) other people's (Es') opinions on what she did, Muu tries her best to get Forgiven:

[Crying B] Muu: What should I do then? What should I do in order for you to forgive me, guard-san? I'll do anything! Um… Anything painful or embarrassing is out of the question though… And, I don't wanna do anything scary either… Es: Ugh, listen here you… Muu: But, it's true, isn't it? All I have to do is gain your favor, right? I'll listen to what you say! So, what would you like me to do?

You could say that's just because of Milgram, but to me it really seems like Muu herself wants that external validation. It makes her feel more like a real teenager, you know? She has her own opinions, but she still cares a lot about what other people say, she's easily swayed. That's why she goes from asking permission to breathe because some of it is her fault:

[After Pain] But I guess some of it is my fault Maybe it’s ok as it is I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

To... well. The song's called It's Not my Fault.

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all! I’m sure I’ve made no mistakes you can find. Gather that nectar, more and more, and come bring it to me, ‘kay?

That, combined with the fact she did apologize to Rei for something, makes it feel to me like Muu wasn't entirely sure how blameless she really was, until she was Forgiven. Her feelings validated, she threw away (almost) all her doubts, and thus we see her back on her queen arc by Trial 2. Her previous doubts are literally only brought back in one line of It's Not my Fault ("what if I'm actually a bad girl?") before being denied instantly ("don't ever hate me [...] wait, wait, it's not my fault!").

So yeah. I enjoy that she's a certified Worst Girl and how we're sorta part of that.

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That would be all! I'm really sorry this took so long, studies have been kinda difficult (what the fuck is a Taylor polynomial send help). Thanks for the ask, take care!

#milgram #amane momose #muu kusunoki #ask game

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