#really the only thing i'm having a headache over is how i'm going to grind for es coins. there's so many things i want in the es shop

[leeknowsnot]

kinktober — the god of love (minho)

genre: smut (minors dni), fluff

content: minho x reader, god of love minho au, reader is a hopeless romantic because i am too, greek god themes, he is eros the god of love, modernized greek gods, body worship, vanilla, just pure love, mature themes, mention of p-rn

oh my god, this is my first smut on this page. i hope i did okay though, it's been a long while since i wrote smut. anyway, i'll try starting on the others soon! read at your own risk

kinktober masterlist

Piles of paperwork laid before him. His eyes scrutinized every paper, dreading the sight of the amount of work he'd have to do. What was he doing here anyway? Right. He was called in for some extra work because the amount of stuff that the employees under him had to do was overwhelming.

Piles and piles of paperwork. "Over what?" his colleague would ask him and he would roll his eyes.

"Some dumbass woman who can't stop falling in love and getting heartbroken over every goddamn man," he would complain.

For Minho, being the God of Love wasn't all arrows and rainbows. Oh look, a girl crushing on a guy. Let's shoot an arrow to his chest so he could fall in love with her too! No. He wasn't highschool cupid. It wasn't as easy as that, unlike what most people would actually think. If he was going to be honest, there wasn't much field work to begin with. The only field work he'd do is to sit on his chair, observing people as they fall in love with each other, only to deal with multiple paperwork as soon as couples start falling out and breaking up with each other. He hated how people treated love as if it was something so dispensable. Like a one-time thing. Well, mostly because it gave him so much work to deal with.

And you, on the other hand, was one of those types that he hated the most: a hopeless romantic. He never really believed in hoping for love despite being the God of Love himself. Stop falling in love multiple times in a year. He always wanted to drill that into your brain each time he'd come down from HQ to observe you and your stupid attempts at pursuing whoever you were onto at the moment. He would lie if he said he never cringed everytime you'd blush at the smallest things. He was annoyed at how you always fell so hard over the bare minimum.

He types away angrily at his keyboard, cursing under his breath. "12th time this fucking year. I swear, if that shithead falls in love with the wrong guy again, I'm gonna shoot myself."

His fingers stop typing, eyes staring into the screen as his eyebrows rest on a permanent scowl on his face. He stared at your image through the documents, analyzing every feature on your face. He wouldn't deny the fact that you were attractive in a way, which made him wonder for a moment why you'd always fail at your attempts on finding love.

Minho sighs, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before he stands up from his seat. "Better pay her a short visit. I need some amusement after all that headache she's been giving me," he mutters to himself.

...

Minho sat there, eyebrows raised. You weren't the type to wear revealing dresses and yet here you were, a scissor away from being practically naked. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating since you only opted to expose your shoulders but you never really showed much skin before. Each time Minho would drop by secretly to observe you during your dates to see if they'd finally succeed, you were either wearing cute floral dresses, or anything that was wholesome. But then again, he had to remind himself where he had to go just to check on you.

A nightclub.

In all honesty, some shoulderless blouse was just the tip of the iceberg compared to how the others dressed. Some were practically naked but Minho didn't pay much attention to them. His eyes were focused on eyeing you at the other side of the room, through grinding bodies.

Though, his gaze on your faltered as soon as a woman sat beside him, brushing her arm on his that was rested on top of the counter. "Hey there, pretty boy," the woman winked at him.

Minho wanted to puke then and there and his expression said it all. He eyed the woman from head to toe, immediately disgusted at her mere presence. He brought his eyes back to you but as soon as he did so, he saw you swaying by the dancefloor with some guy.

Now, Minho wasn't the type to be fazed by such a sight, but the way the man roamed his hands around your torso and attempted to grind his hips towards yours slightly annoyed Minho. Especially with how your face would contort and twitch in discomfort. You were trying your best to hide it and make light of the situation but Minho knew better than to not notice.

He stood up from his seat, tossing all reasoning aside and decided to pull you out of whatever shit you had gotten yourself into just so you could get yourself a lover. "To hell with that," he thought. You were looking for love at the wrong place. The worst place, in fact.

As soon as he arrived at your spot, he grabbed your wrist, earning a surprised yelp from you. He didn't look at you but at the man who was already 5 seconds away from zipping off his pants. Minho was glaring. "Keep your hands and your dick to yourself, yeah?" he tells off the man, earning himself a drunk response but all noise had been shut out and the fucks he could give was thrown out the window the moment he turned to you. "What were you trying to get yourself into, you idiot?"

Minho forgot that he was the only one who knew you like the back of his hand at this point. He was basically a stranger to you. But as he looked into your eyes, you lost yourself in them. His voice came out as muffled due to the trance you were in from the alcohol you just had earlier. And Minho noticed this so he snapped into your face but to no avail.

He dragged you out of the club and you could swear the door that was supposed to lead outside the streets led to somewhere else when Minho opened it but you decided that it was your mind and the alcohol playing its tricks on you. Minho brought you to his office through the club's door—an ability that always proved to be handy. He made you sit on his couch, giving you a glass of water.

"Drink that. It'll help with the hangover," he says. He never had hangover before since human liquor never really had much of an effect for him and the other Gods but he saw how bad humans had it each time they'd have hangovers. "How many glasses did you have anyway," he mumbles under his breath, not particularly expecting you to hear or respond.

His hand bring itself up to your face as he holds a towel, wiping off your sweat. "You suck at taking care of yourself. You always put those idiots first before yourself, that's why you're always getting rejected," he mumbles again, an annoyed expression now on his face. However, his expression turns into confusion as soon as he sees you squint your eyes at him.

"You... look familiar," you say, a hiccup following your sentence as you try your best to dig your memories through your drunken stupor.

Minho shakes his head. "Don't be ridiculous. No one looks like me," he says but you suck air between your teeth.

"No, I swear I've seen you somewhere," you dazingly tapped on your temple before your eyes widen in realization and you point at him. "Oh, I remember now! I see you a lot of times whenever I..." you trail off your sentence. You gasp. "You're always around whenever I meet guys for dates! Are you perhaps, my stalker?"

This earned you a light slap on the forehead from Minho.

"You didn't have to hit my head!" you pouted at him.

"Stop pouting, you look ugly," he says as he removes your shoes. "I wasn't stalking you."

You squint your eyes again at him. Both at his answer and as to why he was removing your shoes. "Then what were you doing? And what are you doing?"

Minho glances up at you with a look of disbelief. "Removing your shoes, if that's not obvious enough," he turns back to removing your other shoe. "I thought you were dumb only with love. You're dumb with telling actions too."

You frown, "Why are you even removing my shoes?! Put them back on??"

"For the record, you are not Cinderella. And you'd rather I let you get blisters? Why did you even wear heels? You never wore heels," he whispers the last part. You blink.

"You are my stalker," you gasp, earning another glare from Minho.

As he finished removing your shoes, he plops himself back down beside you. "I was observing you," he says, answering your question.

"Yeah, you were stalking me," you butt in.

"Stalking is different from observing. Get your facts right," he argues back.

'This man,' you thought to yourself as you look at him in disbelief. Though despite his sarcastic remarks, you could feel as if you knew him for a long time already. Or maybe because you'd see him a lot everywhere. You always thought it was coincidence.

"Why were you observing me?" you ask him.

Minho sighs, rubbing his face with a hand as he looks at you, probably being annoyed at how much you were asking him. "Entertainment. Your idiocy amuses me," he sarcastically replies.

You were speechless.

First, this man ruins your date. Your chances of getting laid tonight. You didn't mind if it was drunk sex, as long as it was sex, that was how hopeless you were. Second, he denies being your stalker. Third, he was mocking your poor taste in men and bad luck in love. And lastly, he was telling you that you were basically a no go because you were an idiot.

"I can't believe this," you scoff under your breath. "You ruined my chances for... this."

Minho raises an eyebrow at you. "Chances at what."

You roll your eyes at him. "Getting laid."

Minho stares at you for a while before sighing. You were such a piece of work. On second thought, he'd rather deal with paperwork than your attitude. He shakes his head in hopelessness, eyes still at you.

"You were going to settle with drunk sex?" he asked with a tone of as-a-matter-of-fact. When you nodded, he chuckled in disbelief.

"Well, what do you want me to do then?" you snapped your head at him. "I always fail at romance. I try to establish wholesome relationships but they... They just fail. And this..." you pause. "It may not be the best option, but it's my only chance of actually getting a guy."

Minho was amused at how emotional you were getting. He could see the tears forming in your eyes as you explain. Sure, Minho was getting frustrated over this ordeal, but you were too and he just realized that. If he was getting annoyed over paperwork, then it meant people were hurting too. You were hurting too.

For some reason, Minho disliked that idea. For the longest time, he'd see the brightest smiles on your face each time you fell in love or experienced something akin to love. He thought it was only for work that he'd come down to observe you each time you go on dates. But in truth, he liked seeing you smile. He didn't know how or when it started. He just... liked to see your face brighten up.

Maybe he wasn't annoyed at you because you always fell in love and get broken and give him more paperwork. Maybe he was annoyed at the fact that people kept on hurting you. He was annoyed at the fact that guys always took advantage of your love. He was annoyed at the fact that you always gave it your all to guys who didn't deserve any of your love. He was annoyed at himself for seeing it otherwise.

Minho chuckles, more at himself than at you. "That's such a sad excuse to find love, it's pathetic."

You turned your head towards him, about to retort but you shut yourself up as soon as he brought his face close to yours. Your eyes widened. "What—"

"You're pathetic," he mumbles. "I can't believe you're going to settle with just that." Then, he closes the gap between you two. His lips touched yours momentarily, brushing like a feather before diving deep. For a second, it was as if your world stopped. You may have had failed attempts at love but that doesn't mean you never had kisses. Though, most of them were empty. In fact, you've had too many kisses to the point that you had to think to yourself if you'll only get kisses for the rest of your life.

But this. This was... You couldn't put the right words. No, that was the perfect word for it. Right. It felt so... right.

The kiss felt too short as soon as he pulled away, eyes staring into yours. You could swear you could see the whole universe in them. You barely talked to this man for more than an hour and yet you feel like you've known him forever.

Minho's eyes trail from your eyes to your lips. He has always seen you. How you look. How you dressed. How you spoke. But he has never seen you this close. And now that he has, it was as if he was looking at Zeus' finest piece of art. Your beauty held more charm than Aphrodite herself. Hell, you'd start more wars than Helen of Troy ever did with that pretty little face of yours.

He parts his lips, his warm breath adding fuel to the warmth that had now spread on your blushing face. "In all of my decades, observing your kind and mine," he pauses. "I have never met anyone as beautiful as you."

"I wonder which God sculpted you," he mutters under his breath, eyes bearing themselves into yours. "Those eyes. They're like Narcissus. I could get lost just by staring at them."

He placed another kiss on your lips, this time much softer than the last.

"Those men are fools," he says. "They could never see true beauty. Beauty that has so willingly presented itself before them."

It was as if he had fallen right then and there. The irony of being the God of Love was that he barely fell in love himself. But when he does, he falls deep. Turns into such poet. Just as how he was letting himself become vulnerable before you.

He takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together, intertwining them like perfect pieces of a puzzle. You were entranced. You didn't know how or why. But the way his hand would graze on your skin felt like electricity. The good kind where the hair on your back would stand each time you'd feel warm air breeze through while you are cold. Like goosebumps.

You wondered if there was something in that water that he had given you earlier. Aphrodisiac? No. There was nothing in there. And yet you felt so entranced. So pulled in. So dazed. You had never felt this feeling before from your past lovers. Then again, were those even love? Or just infatuation? Was it the true definition of love, or was this the true definition of love? Maybe it was just the effect of having the God of Love himself being so close to you. But you were none the wiser of his identity as a God. And yet he pulled you in like gravity.

His lips placed a chaste kiss on your lips once more, gradually travelling towards your cheek, your jawline, and your neck. They were slow yet passionate. His hands ran up your arms, holding your shoulder as he carefully lays you on the couch so you'd feel comfortable.

Minho looks at you once more. "Will you let me show you what love is?" he asks with a quiet tone. You stare at him for a short while, with him still placing soft kisses on your neck as he waits for your response. Eventually, you nod.

He hums quietly in satisfaction. "Just follow my lead," he says.

You don't know what happened after that. You only remember his occasional glances. His chaste kisses on your skin. His hands caressing everywhere they could land on, memorizing your every curve. You only remember laying there, naked.

His gaze on you never faltered. His eyes memorized every feature, taking in every imperfection that you had. As a God, he was but used to seeing only the perfect complexions. But with your body, the imperfections were what made you more beautiful in his eyes.

Minho leans down towards you, brushing the back of his fingers on your cheek softly. He held you as if you were porcelain. No rough movements. No raspy caresses. "Stop looking for love," he muses. "Because love himself is presenting itself to you." He takes your hand, placing a kiss on your knuckles. "Love itself is yours to take."

You part your lips with a soft gasp. No one, not even one man has ever told you such words. No one, not even one man has ever seen you this naked. No one, not even one man has ever held you as much as this man did. And he was worshipping you with both his words, his kisses, and his touches.

His hand pulled you closer for another kiss before caressing down your body, eventually resting itself on your thigh. His thumb brushes on your skin before travelling towards your inner thigh. His finger lingers too close to your core. Not touching, but you could feel it. Minho smiles at your reaction, chuckling as he finally runs a digit through your folds.

You lightly gasp, biting your lower lip to immediately stop yourself from letting out a sound. He looks up at you, amused by your sensitivity. You couldn't blame him. After all, you were a virgin. Both by touch and by intercourse. He could immediately tell as he continued running his finger through your heat, dragging through every slick as a string of your love juice connects your nub and the tip of his finger with every slow stroke. He traces small circles around your clit, earning a shivery hum from you as you cover your mouth with the back of your hand.

You hated how slow he was teasing you. Minho, however, was loving every second of it. How red your cheeks were right now. How half-lidded your eyes were. How wet you already were with just a few kisses and a few strokes.

He leans towards your chest, taking out his tongue to gently brush on one of your nipples, making you twitch. "You're quite easy to please," he mutters as he flicks his tongue and sucks lightly on your nipple. "But then again... You are a virgin."

This made your eyes widen. You tilted your head to the side, covering your face with embarrassment. You hear Minho chuckle before he takes your wrists, removing your hands from your face. "Shhh, it's okay." he whispers in your ear. He places a quiet kiss on your ear lobe. He faces you again. "At least you didn't get to experience how horrible and selfish those men are when it comes to making love."

His smile falters. "No. They don't call it making love, do they?" his eyes trail down to your stomach, bringing himself down so he could place kisses and kitten licks on your skin. "I believe most of them like calling it casual sex."

"Bastards," he curses under his breath before lowering himself again, this time being face-to-face with your heat. You embarrassingly closed your legs, momentarily making him react as your thighs envelope his head. He looks up at you with an amused smirk. "Guess you're into that, huh?" he mumbles with a husky tone before finally leaning in.

You could swear you momentarily saw stars as soon as his warm, wet tongue ran through your folds. His breath would always exhale each time he would swirl his tongue around your clit, slurping occasionally from his makeshift chalice.

You were sweeter than ambrosia and nectar, and he couldn't have enough. You were a walking cardinal sin, ready to prey on a God, to tempt him to indulge in such temptation. And that God was him. Except that you weren't tempting him, but it was him who willingly walked into your trap without any provocation.

The God of Love, enchanted by a human being. By you.

As his sucks and licks increased their pace, so did your stiffled moans. "Don't keep your moans to yourself," he says. "I'd love some good music." He stuck his tongue inside of you, exploring every crevice of your walls as much as he could while his teeth would occasionally scrape lightly through your clit. When you finally moan out loud unintentionally, he smiles. "That's it. Let me hear your pretty voice."

Every second that he spent worshipping you with his tongue brought you closer to something. You were already way past from what you used to consider as climax from your self-ministrations but this was something else. Something higher. Something more pleasurable.

You subconsciously grabbed his head, pulling his head closer. Minho's eyes widen a bit, surprised at your action but complies anyway. He smirks, tongue lapping you up faster as his mouth starts making the most sinful sounds as he sucks you in his mouth. He holds both your legs, determined to make you see a taste of heaven just as much as how he was tasting his own version of heaven through you.

As he gives you a long, dragging suck with the swirling of his tongue on your clit, it finally brings you to the edge. Your eyes shut tight, mouth hung open, and back arched as you cry out in pleasure. Your legs shake as they attempt to wiggle out from his grasps but his hold was strong, keeping you in place as he continues to suck on you, giving you overstimulation as you ride your first high.

He eventually lets you recover as you pant, now hovering above you as he licks away the remaining juices off his lips as if it was syrup. His eyes observe you, loving how helpless you looked as you tried to catch your breath from just a single climax, and just with a simple oral too. Minho brushes off a stray hair off your face, tucking it behind your ear as he places a kiss on your forehead.

"Well?" he asks. "It's good, isn't it?" You were too out of it to even answer. No one could blame you, the first orgasm—whether it was oral or not—was always the most mind-blowing. Too mind-blowing it turned you speechless in a matter of minutes. "That guy you were dancing with wouldn't even give a single fuck whether you'd cum or not," he says. "He'd only want to put his sad excuse of a dick inside that pretty little mouth and call it a day."

Minho places a soft kiss on your lips. "Human men won't care for you as much as Love himself would," he pauses. "Because they do not know love. They only know Lust."

He gently opens your legs, zipping down his own pants in the process. "Let me make love to you," Minho says, caressing your thighs as he raises them. He places kisses on your legs. When you finally recover from your trance, you glance at him. He was now as naked as you were but you could swear you were laying your eyes upon a God. And you really were.

He was perfect regardless wherever you would lay your eyes upon. Especially his arms. God, his arms were like nothing you have ever seen and yet they held you with such care. He could flail you around like a ragdoll, just like what most men would do in those porn videos you'd watch each time you felt a little lonely. But no, he held you as if you were a priceless vase. He'd trace your body as if it was some rare artwork to revel on at a museum. He'd draw you in his head like you were one of his French girls. Except that he didn't have any of those. You were the only girl that made a significance within his eyes.

You finally gave in, tossing all reason aside. If this was going to be your final chance at love, you prayed. Then you might as well let it happen.

Your tongues danced within a kiss, intertwining with each other both emotionally and physically. He clung unto you and you clung unto him, bodies pressing into each other as your sweat would momentarily stick each time Minho would close the proximity between you two. His thrusts started as slow yet passionate strokes, your velvety walls hugging around him as you moan in between gaps of your sloppy kisses. His hand caresses your waist, resting by your hips as he grips them only to pull you back towards him so you'd meet his thrusts.

He wasn't ruthless. He wasn't in a rush. He wasn't destroying you. And just like he said, he wasn't just giving you sex. He was making love with you. His slow thrust eventually increase its pace, the tip of his cock now kissing your cervix at each thrust. The sinful sound of skins slapping fill the walls of his office, mixed in by both your moans. He would always place wet, open-mouthed kisses on your neck and latch his lips on your nipple, never having enough of you as he drives deeper and deeper into you.

If he could, he would bury himself into you. Get lost in pleasure with you. Stay inside you. If it meant showing you what love really was, he would do it. Every stroke sent waves of pleasure through your body and his as your moans encouraged him to go even deeper. He couldn't get enough of the way you looked at him. How your lips would mouth incoherent words as he continues to savor the feeling of being inside you.

Soon enough, the room was filled with nothing but heavy breathing and ragged gasps. You wrap your arms around Minho's neck, pulling him closer as you yourself get closer to your own climax once more. He could feel you slowly tightening around him, a smirk finding its way on his lips.

"Cumming again?" he whispers, quiet groans lacing his question in between as he starts to thrust into you at a faster pace. You nod absentmindedly, eyes shut tight as you arch your back once more. He raises your legs, gaining more access to thrust deeper. "Deeper," he mumbles. "A little more."

With each thrust, his cock reached deeper depths that you didn't know were reachable. It sent you on edge. With his one final thrust, he finally hits that button needed for you to snap, making you moan out loud. The way you suddenly clenched around him as he was buried deep inside you made him reach his own climax as well, painting your walls with his own release. "Cumming cumming cumming!" you mutter, hands gripping on his arms as his groans muffle themselves in your neck.

You both laid there, gasping for air in each other's arms, savoring each other's warmth before Minho finally raises his head from your neck and looks at you. His face held the most loving and softest expression. He was smiling at your dazed state.

He places a kiss on your forehead. On your nose. And on your lips before looking into your half-lidded eyes. "I'll be back soon," he says. He said something else after that but you were too exhausted to even remember as your eyes finally closed, sending you into a state of rest.

...

You awoke with a jolt as you shot up from your bed, eyes open wide as you pant. You glanced around, immediately recognizing your surroundings as your bedroom. You frown to yourself, glancing down beneath the blanket.

What the hell happened? you asked yourself. You weren't exactly sure. You remembered being in a bar to meet up with that tinder date you have been crushing on since last week but after that, you passed out—probably from alcohol and now here you were, confused.

You wondered how you got home in the first place.

And that dream, you sighed to yourself, feeling your core wet from whatever dream you had. You shook your head, a palm running through your face as you groan in frustration.

"I can't believe I was so desperate to the point I'd dream of making love with someone," you roll your eyes at yourself as you throw yourself back on the bed again. This time, hugging your pillow and your curiosity piqued at your dream. "Whoever that guy was in my dream was really attractive though," you mutter to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, Minho observed you through the window of your room from far a way, chuckling. He observes your pretty features first before finally turning around.

He'll remain in your dreams for now. After all, that was how Greek Gods would visit their human love affairs—through dreams. Though this time, he'd visit your dreams frequently.

Maybe because he wants less paperwork from you. Maybe because he wants you to pine for him more than the men you'd meet.

Eitherway, he can't wait until he visits you the next time you close your eyes again.

likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!!

[yuri-is-online]

A Step Behind the Curtain (Jamil Viper x Yuu)

He didn't know you then, but that didn't stop your kindness. If you were willing to go so far out of your way for a literal stranger what would you do if you were friends? How far would you go for someone you cared for?

Would you still want to wish him happy birthday?

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, stranger crushes, mild angst with the intent of comfort, Jamil deserves nice things. If you like this please check my master list here.

The first birthday Jamil had at Night Raven College had been painful. He had been looking forward to it initially, marked it in ink in his planner with the expectation that he would get to spend it alone.

When Kalim showed up he'd thrown away the whole book instead of re-arrange it. The thaumarks it cost to replace was nothing compared to the blow the Asim's continued to deal his pride. This year Kalim had agreed to keep from throwing any ostentatious surprise parties, but there was still the threat he would decide he knew Jamil's wants better than the man himself and do... something. If he was in a more reflective mood he might have noted that by "something" he really meant "anything," but the tension headache working itself across his forehead is preventing any thought other than a need for medication.

That he has conveniently run out of, it's all he can do to keep from grinding his teeth and making the pain worse. This is not the first time he has been grateful there aren't limited hours on the school's hospital wing, and it might not even be the last time today depending on what Kalim has planned. It is the first time he walks in on someone already sorting through the first aid cabinet, it stops him in his tracks and almost tricks him into pinching himself to make sure he's awake.

"Oh I'm sorry." The other student is just as surprised to see him, but they keep their voice at a three a.m. appropriate quiet. "Jamil right?"

"Right." He can't figure out if he has the right to encroach on their space, maybe it's the headache but he can't place the face anywhere. There is a funny feeling at the realization they know his name, different than when Azul says it but flavored with a similar worry as he opens his mouth to try and ask for his turn with the cabinet only to find they've somehow closed the gap with the tablets he was looking for in their outstretched hand.

"You were massaging your head." Is all they offer to soothe his confusion, turning towards their back pack to offer him an unopened water bottle before they turn to leave. He doesn't take the pills immediately, instead he finds his fingers curling around the packet and slowly trying to cover his heart with the illusion of their warmth. Their hands had been cold, but had he really touched them long enough to know that?

"Thanks." He means it, but they just shrug at him with a smile, as if they would do this for anyone despite somehow knowing his name.

"Don't mention it." Their name is Yuu, he belatedly realizes as he agonizes over what you're welcome would have sounded like from their voice instead of a dismissal of merit. As if sensing he wanted to hear more, they pause in the infirmary doors and turn to him with a smile he knows he could never afford. "Oh! It's your birthday right?" And before he can prepare himself they half sing "Happy birthday~ I hope it gets better." He drops the pills in shock but they're gone into the early morning air before he they can realize the flustered mess they've left.

Happy birthday. He bends to pick up the packet and downs the medication along with the fluttering feeling in his heart. There is no time to think about this now, for now he will simply hold onto the gentle calm they created for him. It can fuel his desire for a better life later, in the quiet of the petty realization that this year, Kalim was not the first person to wish him well.

[ratlesshonret]

Something that has struck me from being in the Limbus community a while now, and having recently joined the Limbus subreddit, is that Limbus Company has a big problem...

The Onboarding Experience.

THE PROBLEM

When I started Limbus, the sheer amount of shit to get was overwhelming. So many IDs and EGOs, all of which individually were so expensive that it took a ton of grinding just to get one thing.

That was ten months ago. I believe the amount of IDs/EGOs in the game has increased by at least 50% since then.

I grind a lot more than the average player, doing about 2 MDs a day, as well as all my dailies. It takes me about a week to save enough Shards to gain one Identity/EGO, not including any limited-time events or new BPs coming out. Right now, I have... I'd say just over half the EGO, and all but two Identities. After ten months of playing.

This is woefully slow. Sure, you don't need every EGO/ID to play the game, but if you want good teams, it'll likely take at least 2-3 months to Shard enough IDs and EGO to build enough good teams to reliably take on Refraction Railway without headache.

There's also the story content. For the first... almost four Cantos, the game is so easy that you don't really need to try. Just do Pulls to get 1-2 good IDs and then throw them at the story until you get through. Though of course, 4-48 always takes people by surprise. And then 5-30. And then Canto V Dungeon. And then BHK. And then--

Even me, who grinds a lot, was actually pretty underleveled until Canto VI, where I was just slightly underleveled. Because getting EXP Tickets, especially for a whole team, is slow as shit. And UT3ing a whole team, for a new player, is actually a serious time investment just for the bare minimum. I see people going into Ricardo with UT2 team members because they don't have Thread. And UT4? Forget about it.

Sure, you can say Limbus isn't very hard, but a lot of stages sort of play like stat checks. And getting those stats can be rough as a new player.

I know they've done stuff to remedy this, like the "New Players Event" or whatever, and they'll be tapering off the EXP Curve for levels above 45, but it doesn't seem like enough.

New players have to grind a lot just to get a good enough team to beat story content. Especially now that Canto VII has such rough encounters.

So what can we do?

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

-Improve the "New Player Track" to add enough to level/UT a full team

Feels like a bandage solution for such a serious problem.

-Bump up the rewards for ALL Thread and EXP Luxcavations

Could be a good solution, if done well. Though if you buff it too much, you risk making early and midgame content too easy.

-Bring back old Mirror Dungeons and Railways.

This is my personal favorite solution. Letting people run old MDHards as they came out to get rewards feels nice. And old Railway rewards definitely wouldn't break the game, since most of them came out at a time when people just generally had less stuff anyway, so the rewards are only okay by today's standards.

Also gives players more stuff to do other than the "Story > Thread/EXP > MDNormal" loop. And justifies the inclusion of those mini episodes they release upon a new RR/MD dropping to a modern audience.

This still doesn't "fix" Shards though. I feel like Shard economy is still really rough as a new player. I think my solution is just to increase how many BP Levels doing an MD gives you based on which one you're doing. So maybe MD1 gives two levels, MD2 gives three, MD3 gives four, etc...

If that happened, new players would have ways to get Shards as they do now, with more Shards the further they get into the story. And I wouldn't have to grind for a week to get one ID.

But maybe I'm insane and Shard economy is fine, who knows.

CONCLUSION?

no idea.

[felixsramen]

Shameless

Warnings: mxm fxm, cum eating, oral f receiving, face sitting, grinding, oral m receiving, spitting, I might be forgetting other things let me know if i am

Why did it have to be you? Why did it have to be you to meet the cocky idiot everyone so loved? Why did it have to be you that he flirted with every time he saw you?

You wondered how someone could be so cocky and yet so sexy. Han Jisung was the epitome of sex, maybe that's why you hated him. Or maybe because of the way he'd sit there looking you up and down at any given chance, shamelessly.

Why did you come to this stupid club again is all that you think as a girl tries talking to him, but he looks as if he could care less what she's saying. That surprised you though, because Jisung was quick to bed any girl in sight, yet his eyes hadn't left your body the whole night. 

Well, maybe it was because of the arm around your body as you sit on his friend's lap. Minhos arms wrapped around you, keeping you from falling out of his lap. You weren't the only one who had noticed Jisung's eyes.

Jisung throws back another shot, clearly agitated, his hand going to his head, trying to rub away the headache he was getting from the girl talking. How long has she been trying to get his attention? Jisung didn't know, all he knew was that he hoped she'd leave soon so he could go back to watching you.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asks him. Jisung looks at the girl, finally giving her some kind of attention. He could tell she had dyed her hair recently blonde, her green eye contacts being extra.

Jisung sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "In all honesty? No. I couldn't give a fuck what you were talking about." He says and the girl puts her arm on his.

"Well, pay attention to me!" The fake blonde says. Did she not know how to take a hint? Was he not any clearer, or did he need to spell it out? Jisung sighs. He made a silent plea, hoping someone would save him, and help does come in the form of Hyunjin.

"I think you're needed over there." Hyunjin says, pointing towards you and Minho along with the rest of the guys. His eyes go across the blonde. "Alone." Hyunjin adds, and the girl seems to take the hint, finally leaving.

Jisung sighs, running a hand through his hair and letting out a sigh of relief. "Thank you for saving me. A few seconds longer, and I honestly would've probably made her cry." Jisung says, and Hyunjin snickers.

"Do you always have to be an asshole Han Jisung?" Chan asks as they arrive back at the table.

"You think I'm an asshole? You should go talk to her and then come back to me." Jisung says rolling his shoulders back, his body cracking, and releasing some of the pressure.

"Do you think your gods gift to women or something?" You say venom in your voice at Jisung's words. Oh, how he loved getting under your skin.

He smirks, and that pisses you off further. "No. Maybe I'm just gods gift to you." He says cockily, an eyebrow raised, a smirk never leaving his face.

If Jisung wasn't such a dick, you'd have probably already had sex with him, but sadly, that's not Han Jisung.

"Piss off Jisung." You say as the boys chuckle at you both.

"Why? You hate me?" Jisung fake a pout before it morphs into a smirk. You really wish you could wipe that smirk off his face.

You roll your eyes. "I don't see how these poor girls sleep with you." You tell him as one of Minhos hands rests on your thigh.

"Maybe I am gods gift to women." He throws your words back in your face, smirking as the boys watch on.

You glare at him but feel Minho gently caressing your leg, trying to calm the anger bubbling inside you.

You roll your eyes. "I need a drink." You say bitterly, Minho releasing his hands from yours so you can walk to the bar and order another fruity cocktail.

The boys immediately start having conversations of their own, no longer worried about you and Jisung's banter. Yet Minho watches Jisung. He looks in your direction for a second before meeting Minhos eyes. "Do you live to piss her off?" Minho asks him simply, and Jisung laughs.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I do." Jisung says to his friend.

"Maybe if you'd be less of a dick, you'd be able to have yours inside her. Have you ever thought about that?" Minho raises an eyebrow, trying to get under Jisung's skin.

Jisung rolls his eyes. "Maybe, but it's fun seeing her lose her mind. Is it not?" Jisung asks as Minho crosses arms.

"Don't be a dick the rest of the night, and maybe she'll ask you to join us." Minho says bluntly.

He'd never admit it, but Jisung was excited to hear that. Jisung didn't know when, but he had started finding his friend and you attractive. Would Minho join in on the fun? All of the boys knew you guys were fucking, including Jisung, yet that didn't stop his filthy thoughts about you and his friend.

"Fine." Jisung says as you return with your drink in hand.

The rest of the night, Jisung is less of a dick to you. Instead asking you if you wanted another drink when your glass was empty and if you wanted company on the dance floor when Minho didn't want to.

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe Jisung isn't a cocky idiot. You were sweaty from dancing in the crowd and against Jisung as he danced to the beat with you, his hands on your hips gripping tight against you as you grinded against him. You were driving him crazy, so he was relieved when you asked him to sit down.

"Ready to go yet, Princess?" Minho asks you. You had to have at least been dancing for two hours in the crowd of bodies.

You nod, and Minho gets up. "The boys left. I told them you could stay with us tonight at Y/Ns, and it wasn't a big deal. Right Y/N?" Minho asks, coming behind you and resting his head on your shoulder, his hands going to your hips.

You shake your head as he kisses your neck and smiles at Jisung. "See. Now let's go." Minho says as he pulls away, and you want to whine, but you knew Minho would punish you for it. 

You grab your stuff along with the boys. Minho grabs his car keys, leading you and Jisung out of the club. "Let Sungie sit in the front, Princess. I'll make it up to you." He says kissing you sweetly, but you see the mischief in his eyes.

"Fine." You say when he unlocks the car and you open the backseat, climbing in. 

Jisung looked nervous as he opened the passenger door. It was nice to see his face morph into something other than a cocky smirk.

Minho started the car, and you sighed in the back. Minho looks at you through the mirror. His eyes go to the road. Yet you notice one of his hands move to Jisung's thigh. Jisung looks nervous.

"Why so quiet now?" Minho asks, and Jisung sighs. "Just nerves." Jisung mumbles.

Minho starts stroking his leg. "Don't be nervous. You want to still play, right?" Minho asks, not sparing you or him a glance.

Jisung nods. "Yeah." Jisung says, and you can't help but let out a little laugh.

Minho looks at you through the mirror, and Jisung looks back, glaring. "Why are you laughing?" Jisung asks you, and you shrug.

"Because it's funny seeing you act like this with Minho when just earlier you were being a cocky asshole." You tell him, and his glare doesn't let up. He rolls his eyes, and Minho looks at you with a warning glance in his eyes that has you sitting back and shutting up.

"Sorry about that pretty boy. Sometimes she can get out of line." Minho says going back to rubbing Jisung's thigh, who sighs. "You're sorry, right, Princess?" Minho asks, and you nod. 

Minhos jaw tenses. "Speak up." He speaks harshly. You look down now at your fingers. "I'm sorry, Sungie." You say and Minho sighs.

"Good girl." Minho mumbles, and the praise goes straight to your core.

"She's so pretty, isn't she?" Minho asks Jisung. "Fucking gorgeous." Jisung replies back, and you can't help but feel yourself getting wetter at his words.

Minho smirks. "She really is. Isn't she?" Minho says. 

"You're gorgeous too." Jisung says, and Minho's smirk gets bigger. "Yeah?" Minho says bringing his hand up higher on Jisung's thigh. "Fuck. Yeah." Jisung says back clearly affected by it.

Minho brings his hand to Jisung's bulge now, and Jisung sighs. Minho rubs gently against it and Jisung lets out a soft moan.

"He sounds so pretty, doesn't he, Princess?" Minho asks. "Prettiest moans I've ever heard." You say back, and Jisung lets out a whimper as Minho continues rubbing him through his pants.

"Fuck. Min." Jisung says, letting out his little moans. You can't help but squeeze your legs together at the sweet sounds coming from him. Minho glances into the mirror and sees you squeezing them.

"See that, Sungie. You got her worked up all over you. You're making her squeeze her pretty legs together." Minho says, causing Jisung to moan louder.

"Fuck- Going to cum- Please-" Jisung says, and Minho takes his hand away, and Jisung whimpers at the loss of contact.

"No. Please. I was so close. Why?" Jisung whines. "You were so mean to the Princess earlier at the club. I thought I should punish you for that." Minho says, smirking. 

You lean forward, putting your elbows near the head rests. "What are you doing, princess?" Minho asks you, and you can see him raise an eyebrow even though he isn't looking at you.

"Can I taste him?" You say, and Jisung lets out a groan at your words. Minho let out a chuckle. "Of course you can, Princess. No playing with him yet, though. He might just cum early if you do, and we haven't even made it home yet." Minho chuckles, and Jisung curses under his breath at Minhos words.

With Minhos permission, you turn to Jisung. You don't even get a chance to kiss him before he's kissing you. "Someone's eager." Minho chuckles out. Jisung grabs your face and turns it into a makeout session. He pushes his tongue into your mouth, trying to taste everywhere in your mouth. He tastes just like the alcohol he drank throughout the whole night, but you didn't mind the bitter taste.

Jisung was desperate, and the makeout session just confirmed it even more. The way his lips moved with yours was urgent, like he needed to taste you. That's because Jisung did need to taste you. He needed to taste every single part of you.

Jisung pulls away, and you can't help but whine. "Bad girl." Minho says sternly at the red light. He brings a hand to your head, pulling your hair, causing you to arch your back and let out a soft moan. As quick as his hand was in your hair, it left.

"She can't help but be so needy. Haven't even stuffed you full of my cock, and you're going dumb. How disappointing." Jisung tsks at you.

You pout at him, and he just raises an eyebrow at you. "Be grateful that he gave you anything. He's better than me, and you know that, sweetheart. I would've had you begging." Minho says reminding you of how many times you've had to beg to even get him to kiss you. You never minded it though, always loving when he'd give into your begging.

Jisung's hand comes to your face, and he rubs his thumb over your lips, staring at them. It's a relaxing gesture, and you can't help but sigh. "Pretty baby. Wish you would've just told me how badly you wanted me. Would've given in if you'd just begged and didn't act like a fucking brat." He says sharply, and before you can back talk him, he's shoving his thumb on your tongue, pressing hard to shut you up. You can't help but wrap your lips around his finger, sucking on it. He watches you intently, and you feel your panties become soaked now.

"See this Minho. Stupid baby only wanted to have my fingers in her mouth." Jisung says, and you squeeze your thighs together at the degrading comment. "Would've done it long ago if I knew that's what took you to shut up." He says continuing on.

He pulls his thumb out of your mouth and wipes it across your cheeks as he smirks at you. You hadn't realized it, too focused on Jisung, but Minho had pulled into your driveway. You only realize it when Minho grabs your face to look at him, and he smirks.

"Get to finally play with you, Princess." He says, and he pulls you close like he's about to kiss you but then lets go of your face. "Let's get inside so I can fuck you and Ji dumb." He says, and unlocks the car.

You quickly scramble out, and Minho and Jisung laugh at your hurriedness to get inside. Jisung grabs you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest, smirking at you. Oh, sweetheart, I'm going to ruin you." He says as Minho unlocks your door with the spare key he had. Jisung lets go of you, and you go inside.

As soon as the door closes, Jisung pushes you against the door. He looks at your surprised expression and smirks. "Look at you. All worked up over nothing. Haven't even fucked you dumb on my cock. Is she always like this, Min?" He asks.

You look over at the blonde. He just smirks as he comes up to you both. His hand goes into Jisung's hair and gently pulls it. Jisung's head falls back against Minhos chest as he lets out a whimper.

"Oh Ji..." He says, smirking, his hand still pulling his hair. "You're just as worked up over nothing. Your boner says it all. Thinking about it, all I had to do was rub you through your pants, and you were begging to cum." He says and his words have you soaked.

Minho lets go of Jisung's hair and looks between you and Jisung. "I'm going to have so much fun with the both of you." He says while Jisung is still inbetween you both, grabbing your hips. He pushes Jisung towards you, and you can feel his boner, but he makes sure not to squish you.

"I'll give you both 20 seconds. When I come in there, I want everything off." He says kissing Jisung's neck. He lets go and backs off of you both. "1, 2, 3." He starts counting, and you quickly leave while Jisung follows behind you. Minho lets out a chuckle. Going through your cabinets to find a glass along with the wine. He pours himself a cup and starts walking into the room.

The door opens, and Minho walks in with a glass filled with wine inbetween his fingers. "I'm surprised you both listened. I mean, with all the bickering you both do, I thought you were going to be brats about it." He says taking place on the chair you had in the corner of your room. 

He sips the wine and raises an eyebrow at you both. He pulls the glass from his lips. "Why are you both looking at me? Don't let me stop you." He says smirking. "Didn't you say something about fucking her dumb, Ji? Go ahead and do it. Prove it." He says while swirling the wine in the glass.

Jisung looks at you and his hands immediately go to your body kneading it. His mouth attaches to your neck and you can already feel yourself getting dizzy. He starts sucking on it as one of his hands make their way down your body. He starts making his way down your body as he starts leaving kisses all the way down. He licks a strip across your clit before he buries his head inbetween your thighs. You let out moans as he continues licking at your clit. He starts sucking on it gently as your back arches off the bed and he brings a hand to your body forcing it back down.

Your mind is hazy as you bring a hand to his head running it through his hair. He doesn't stop, though, as he continues sucking at your clit and he brings you closer to your release.

You continue letting out moans that spur him on to bringing you closer to your release. You're so close, and he doesn't stop as you feel the coil in your stomach tighten even more. You can feel it building and try moving him away, but he just opens your legs wider, so you don't stop him. Before you realize it, the coil snaps, and you cum. Your eyes roll back as you let out a loud moan. You come down from your high, and Jisung hasn't stopped yet. Your hand tries pulling Jisung away, but it doesn't work. "Fuck J-Ji. I'm sensitive." You tell him, and he doesn't even listen to your words, still continuing to overstimulate you.

Your eyes look over to Minho for help, who stands up. You can tell he's annoyed by the way he walks up to you both. He grabs Jisung by his hair while Jisung lets out a whine.

"Stupid brat." He spits angrily at him as he pulls him away from your dripping cunt. "I give you a taste, and you can't seem to get enough. Think you're going to break my toy?" He says and you can almost see the fumes coming off him.

Minhos hand moves to Jisung's face, gripping it harshly. Jisung's mouth is practically forced open by the way Minho grips his face. "Annoying brat. Someone needs to put you in your place." He says before opening his mouth slightly and spitting into Jisungs mouth.

Minho lets go of Jisungs mouth. "Swallow it." He says darkly. Jisung does exactly what he says swallowing it down. "At least you can do one thing right." He says scoffing.

Jisung lets out a whine. "Beg for it." Minho says gripping him by the chin with a smirk. Jisung is surprised at his words.

Minho bites his inner cheek and grabs Jisungs face harshly. "You better beg for it or you won't get anything. I'll just fuck Y/N and leave you high and dry." Minho says once again a little more harshly.

"Please. Fuck I need you so bad. Please Minho." Jisung begs and Minho smirks at him. "Of course you do." He says pushing him onto the bed.

You watch as Minho kisses Jisungs chest. "Of course you need me." He says trailing kisses down Jisungs body. Minho looks at you though and pulls his mouth from Jisungs chest.

Minho beckons you to come over. You do as he says and when you reach him he smiles gently. He kisses your lips and pulls away gently caressing your face. "Pretty baby. Think you can suck Sungie off? Return the favor? If you do a good job I'll reward you." He says gently trailing his eyes over your body.

"Yes sir." You say gently and you hear Jisungs breath pickup at your words. Minho grabs a pillow from your headboard placing it on the ground in-between Jisungs legs. You sink to your knees with the help of Minho.

Minho gently takes your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You take Jisung into your mouth and he lets out a moan. "There you go pretty." Minho coos at you.

Your jaw was starting to hurt as you took him down your throat repeatedly. Minho must've noticed because then he starts guiding you to a good pace. "He's a lot. Isn't he?" Minho says to you as if you could answer.

"See this Sungie. She's struggling to take you. You're just that big." Minho says to the boy who is now pretty much whimpering as you take his cock down your throat.

Jisung is practically thrusting into your mouth. You try to focus on breathing through your nose but it's difficult with the way Minho is keeping that same pace.

You know Jisung is close with the way his moans and whimpers have increased. Minho notices it too. "Going to cum down her throat? Be a good boy Sungie. Give her all your cum." Minho says spurring him on.

Jisung thrusts pick up and you're practically choking on his cock now. "Fuck. Going to cum." He says and with a few more thrusts he does just that. Minho holds you down to take his cum. Minho eventually let's you off of Jisungs cock as you take a deep breath.

"Did so good Princess." He says as you try to catch your breath. Jisung looks at you with concern. "Are you okay?" He asks after finally coming down. You give him a thumbs up but that doesn't stop his concern. Minho rubs your back and sighs thinking he pushed you too hard.

"Want to stop?" Minho asks you with concern. You didn't want that. "No." You say having caught your breath finally.

Minho looks at Jisung. "Let's give you a second." Minho says softly still rubbing your back. Minho grabs your hand helping your weak knees onto the bed.

"Want to sit and watch us?" Minho asks you and you nod. "Okay." Minho says kissing your head gently. It was a soft contrast to what was currently happening and you welcomed it.

Minho looks at Jisung and his eyes darken. You can see Jisungs adams apple bob up and down. Minho grabs Jisung by the hair. Jisung lets out a groan and Minho smirks.

Minho continues smirking as he glances at his lips. Minho lets Jisung hair go and Jisung immediately attaches his lips to Minho who is taken off guard. Minho bites Jisungs lip lightly earning a whine as Jisung pulls away.

Minho glares at him. "Who said you could touch me?" Minho says and Jisung bites his own lip looking down. Minho grabs his face and forces him look at him.

"I'm asking you again. Who said you could touch me?" Minho asks.

Jisung lets go of his lip. "No one." Jisung says quietly. That makes Minho smirk again.

"You ask before you touch." Minho says gently letting go of Jisungs face. Minho kisses Jisung who eagerly accepts it.

Jisung pulls away practically panting. "Can I touch you? Please?" Jisung whimpers and Minho sighs pretending to think about it.

Minho smirks after Jisung lets out another whimper when Minho pulls his hair. "Go ahead pretty boy." Minho says and Jisung immediately kisses Minho once more bringing his hand into Minhos hair. Minho lets out a groan as Jisung practically grinds against his clothed cock.

Minho pulls away. "Fuck it. Was going to go slow but you're such a fucking desperate slut." Minho says taking his shirt and pants off throwing it on the ground. Jisung pulls at Minhos waistband and Minho lets him slide it down.

Jisung is taken back at Minhos size and Minho scoffs. "What? Haven't taken anything this big before?" Minho says teasing him and Jisung looks back at him.

"Go ahead." Minho says and that has Jisung taking Minho in his mouth. Minho lets out a groan as Jisung bobs up and down his length messily. Minho sees him struggling and takes him off his cock.

"Haven't ever given head?" Minho asks Jisung and he looks disappointed with himself. "It's not a big deal pretty boy." Minho says softly bringing a hand to Jisungs face caressing it.

"Let me help you." Minho says softly. "Go ahead lick it." Minho says and Jisung gives it a kitten lick which has him groaning.

"Good boy." Minho praises to him. Minho gently guides him to take him in little bit little. Minho sighs when his cock is nestled in the back of Jisungs throat.

Minho lets out a groan as he brings a hand to Jisungs hair guiding him to take him. After a while Jisung gets used to the pace Minho has set and he's taking Minho by himself.

You can't help but stare in amazement as Minho let's out the prettiest moans and groans you've heard from him. Minho hasn't noticed your eyes on him until you've made your way across the bed. Minho is biting his lip and that's when you kiss him. Minhos moans spill into your mouth.

When you pull away Minho looks at Jisung pulling him off. Jisung lets out a whine though but it's replaced with a moan when Minho pushes a finger inside him.

"So needy." Minho says fucking Jisungs ass open. Jisung is grabbing onto Minhos wrist though letting pleads of his names along with curses fall out his mouth.

"Want me to stop?" Minho says and Jisung shake his head. Minho lets out a chuckle and Jisung continues to whimper and moan as Minho pushes a second finger inside.

Minho looks at you and back at Jisung. "See this? The pretty slut likes me fingering him open." Minho chuckles and Jisung whines.

"I'm not a s-slut." Jisung says and Minho raises an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Oh you're not? You're practically fucking yourself on my fingers." Minho says and Jisung whines and lets out another moan as Minho pushes a third finger in.

"What? You flirting at a club with some random girl to make us jealous doesn't make you a slut?" Minho says and Jisung shakes his head once more.

"Wasn't flirting I- f-fuck. Just want you both. Don't mean to make you jealous. Please fuck I need to cum." Minho smirks at Jisungs words but pulls his hand out of him and Jisung looks like he's about to cry.

"Not leaving you high and dry. Need a condom." Minho says reaching over towards your drawer opening it with his teeth. Minho rolls it onto himself and lines up with Jisungs ass before pushing into it.

Minho and Jisung let out a moan as Minho bottoms out in him. "Fuck Ji. You're so fucking tight." Minhos says and Jisung whimpers as Minho lets him adjust.

Jisung reaches out for you and you grab his hand. "Sit on my face." Jisung whimpers out and you wonder if you heard him right but he pulls your hand trying to move you. You do as he says and bring a leg around his head so you're hovering over his face.

Jisung grabs your hips and forces you down so he can eat you out. Jisung laps at you like a starved man and you can feel Minho place a kiss on your shoulder.

Minho starts moving inside Jisung and you can feel the vibrations from his moans on your core. You let out your own moans as Jisung tried his best to continue but struggled as Minho thrusted inside him.

It didn't take you long for you to get worked back up having already had an orgasm. Jisung is close to as you can feel his moans getting more frequent.

You finally cum once again and Jisung continues to eat you out through your orgasm. You finally pull away coming back down and roll over next to him as Minho brings him to his orgasm.

Jisung lets out a high pitched moan as he cums over himself. Minho continues thrusting in him but doesn't last much longer because of Jisungs orgasm. Minho is clearly affected by Jisungs orgasm because he's not far behind him.

Minho pulls out after and Jisung lets out a whimper. Minho lays on Jisungs other side trying to catch his breath.

You're the first to recover somewhat and you sit up trying your best to stand up on your wobbly knees and hear a weak laugh behind you. You know it's Jisung and flick him off over your shoulder. You needed a bath. All of you did.

You don't make it far before Minho is grabbing you and pulling you back down on the bed. You whine at him and he chuckles. "I need a bath Min. So does Ji." You say softly and Minho nods.

"I know baby. Give me a second and I'll run the water." Minho tells you gently and you give up letting him hold you down.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence Minho finally lets you go. He goes through the drawer that you had put together after him coming over so many times before. Grabbing clothes and going through your drawer grabbing more clothes and going into the bathroom. You hear the water run after a few seconds and sigh.

You flip on your side and look at Jisung who looks so exhausted. "Are you okay?" You ask him and he nods slowly.

"Great. 'M great." Jisung mumbles tiredly. Minho comes back into the room and looks at Jisung whose eyes are closed.

Minho comes over to the bed and holds his hand out for you to gently take but you shake your head. "I'm good Min." You tell him and he sighs.

"Are you sure?" Minho asks you and you nod. "You could barely walk to the bathroom earlier by yourself. Are you sure you want to now?" Minho says laughing but you give him your middle finger too.

"Screw you Minho." You say getting up still wobbly.

"You have. Many times." Minho teases as you close the bathroom door behind you. Minho had the temperature pretty much perfect as you got in and sunk into the water.

It didn't take long for the door to open and Jisung to be set in the bathtub alongside you. He's awake now but you can still see how tired he is. Jisung leans his head against you and you sigh.

"You know for someone that pretty much fucks anything with legs and a heart beat you're kind of cute." You say laughing and Jisung pinches your side. You pout and rub the spot soothing it.

"Both of you stop acting like children." Minho says rolling his eyes playfully. "I thought we were over the bickering like children after fucking." Minho mutters.

"Am I wrong though?" You mutter and Minho sighs. Jisung pouts at your words. "What happened to cocky and confident Jisung?" You ask him and he just sighs softly.

"I'm not a complete asshole Y/N." Jisung says and you're taken aback at his words.

You sigh and Jisung looks as if he's about to cry. You can't help but feel slightly guilty at your harsh words. "Fuck Ji. I know you're not. I don't think you are." You tell him. Minho looks at Jisung bringing his face to meet his.

"We care about you Ji." Minho says softly. "No matter who you've slept with. We've always cared about you." Minho confesses to him. Jisungs tears finally fall.

"Fuck don't say that. You guys don't care about me like I care about you. I love you. Not just love you I'm in love with you both. I want your attention no one else's." Jisung says quickly and you sigh. You wipe his tears as he continues sobbing.

"Dummy. We're in love with you too. Just jealous. So fucking jealous of everyone who got to have you before us." You say and kiss his tear stained cheek.

Jisung immediately kisses you and you kiss back happily.

You pull away and smile at him and he returns one of his own smiles. Jisung looks to Minho and kisses him too. Minho smiles moving away from the kiss.

"Now let's you get cleaned. I'm sure you're bruised. Minho loves leaving bruises." You say rolling your eyes.

"You bruise so easily. It's not my fault." Minho says crossing his arms. You roll your eyes once again.

"I do not. You just love leaving marks." You retort back and Minho rolls his eyes.

"I thought us arguing was bad." Jisung says laughing. "Oh shut up." You say standing up out of the water and almost falling out but Minho catches you.

You sigh as Jisung and Minho laughs. "I hate both of you." You say and Minho kisses your head.

"We love you too." Minho says and you sigh. "Let me help you." Minho says and you nod. Minho helps you out and into new clothes.

Minho gently places you on the counter and you lean back. You watch as Minho helps Jisung out the tub and you can see the bruises Minho left all along him.

"Told you." You say softly and Jisung looks at hips. "I guess you're right." Jisung admits to you as he clings to Minho to keep him steady while he helps him into his clothes.

You jump off the counter carefully. Following Minho out as he helps Jisung out. You were glad you invested in that chair in the the corner of your room. Jisung sits in the chair and you help Minho remove your ruined sheets from the bed and put it into the washer. You sigh as you put new sheets on.

Minho helps you into the bed even though you could walk perfectly fine for the most part. You lift the blanket up and Minho places Jisung in the middle who is already asleep.

"I love you." You say to Minho and he reaches over for your hand. "I love you too." Minho says and you sigh relieved.

"I love you as well Ji." You say even though you know he can't hear you. You close your eyes letting sleep take over. "I love you too." You hear Jisung say as you finally sleep

Taglist:@armystay89 @stvrfir3

[lockpickingliar]

So about the third trial's investigation...

Or: Ouma Kokichi (Cookie) on the floorboard incident

I saw a post last night and it's still bothering me this morning so! Here I am. That's a lie, it's not bothering me, per se, but I just want to clarify for anyone interested:

I was literally concussed~

Fun facts about loose floorboards: If there's nothing holding them down, then they KEEP GOING! The difference between what Shinguuji did and what happened to me was that Chabashira and the cage and whatnot was holding the floorboard down so he could safely accomplish his see-saw trick.

I was in the first room, however, which was empty, and stepped on that floorboard entirely by chance. My foot went through the floor, swinging the board upward and directly into my face like a rake in a slapstick cartoon.

Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say I had brain damage from it (or maybe that's a lie), but concussions are quite scary, actually! The really serious ones can land you in the hospital.

I know none of us left had any extensive medical experience. Except maybe Harukawa-chan—being an assassin she'd know about treating various wounds in case she gets in a scuffle—however she was still lying about being the Ultimate Child Caregiver at the time, I think. I don't remember, much of my memory is hazy around that time. (Gee, I wonder why!!!)

Edit: I remember now, I already outed her after the second trial. How forgetful of me! Not that it matters much in this context, but whatever.

In any case, it's fair that my injury couldn't have been treated, but the thing that grinds my gears about it is that no one seemed even the least bit concerned. You all have seen my sprite. That cloudy look in my eyes. I was way out of it. (Also it was waaaaay more than "a bit" of blood, but who's really counting here?)

Everything was spinning, everything Saihara-chan and Harukawa-chan said sounded like it was coming through water. That prank I pulled in the hall? That was a lie. I was stumbling my way to the third room to check for another loose floorboard when I suddenly blacked out and found myself on the floor. Saihara-chan and Harukawa-chan found me like that and I played it off like an intentional joke to keep them off my case.

And it worked! It's what I wanted!

But that doesn't make it hurt less.

That trial was hell to go through, and that's why I didn't actually have much to contribute beyond my lie about killing Yonaga-chan to draw attention to the fact the back door to her lab had a different kind of lock. Everything was too bright and loud and I felt like I was gonna puke all over the trial grounds. I'm surprised I didn't fall off my podium when the trial grounds morphed or whatever.

That all is to say that it was a pretty severe concussion! I barely remember what happened, and can only really say what happened in canon when I saw it in the game seemed accurate. When all was said and done, I stumbled back to my room and conked out for like a solid day. That might be a lie. I just remember that I woke up during Nighttime, and wandered out to the dining hall (I forgot it was closed during Nighttime. Y'know. Because of the concussion) when I ran into Saihara-chan again.

He told me he was relieved that I was okay. Like he just decided that on his own without asking me first.

I got headaches a lot after that, all the way up until my death. I couldn't exactly take a break and let it heal with a killing game going on, now could I? I had a lot of work to do.

But even now, after I'm already dead, my head still hurts sometimes, and I get dizzy, and it makes me feel so insignificant and alone.

But that's a lie, anyhow!

Don't you worry about little old me! Neeheehee!

[brightlotusmoon]

My FB post right now is being so useful:

Me: Okay, someone with TMJ, trigeminal nerve pain, and sinus pain help walk me through the differences so I can figure out what's happening in my face.

My microbiologist friend: "OMG SOMEONE FINALLY NEEDS ME!!!!

TMJ is an achy, muscular pain. If you press on the hinge of your jaw and/or the back of your skull where it meets your neck, you will feel intense pain followed by release. Causes headaches on one side, usually in the back. Opening your mouth wide while touching your jaw will produce a “pop” on one side and a feeling of sliding sideways on the other. Helped by: NSAIDS, muscle relaxants, heat. Hurt by: crunchy food, chewy food, jaw clenching.

Trigeminal neuralgia feels like random electrical shocks at the base of your teeth, radiating up into your cheek. One side. No headache. Pain can also be sharp or burning (when mine was at its worst it felt like someone put a flaming fireplace poker between my teeth and slammed my jaw shut), but the hallmark is that “shocky” pain. Helped by: medication that is specifically for nerve pain (like gabapentin). Absolutely nothing else helps. Hurt by: ??? (Mine is kind of related to the cold but…???)

Sinus pain is usually heavy pressure and an ache or occasional sharp pain in the jaw. Headaches bilateral and in the front of the head, in a “mask” around the eyes. Trigger points are at the inside corner of the eyebrow and the outer corner of the nostrils, applying firm pressure there will cause SEVERE pain that will lessen over time. Cheeks and forehead may also be sensitive to touch. Also might present as a sore throat. Helped by: sudafed, antihistamines, NSAIDS, cold. Hurt by: that depends on the person. If it’s unrelenting and doesn’t respond well to meds you should see a doctor to check for infection.

Oh my goodness I feel so useful 🖤"

My reply: "I love you. I also feel like all of that happened at the same time. But I'm going to call it TMJ, because the thoracic pain and upper shoulder stiffness is specific to the palsy spasticity, which means it'll hit the jaw muscles on both sides in slightly different ways."

Other friends also weighed in!

A. said "TMJ feels like you have the bottom jaw and the jaw joint hit with a hammer. Sinus pain in face feels like you could stick something into your eye or up your nose and it would pop the balloon that growing in your skull. Trigeminal nerve is one of the worst pains you have ever experienced and you would be at the hospital. It usually only affects one side of the face and it feels as thought someone is slicing your face open. (I don’t have it but a friend does but I experienced mild symptoms after a surgery that temporarily inflamed that nerve and even minor pain it was horrid and gave me a much much less accurate idea of how much pain my dear friend deals with cause mine was like 20% compared to her 100%)"

-

K. said: "TN can be bilateral and can be triggered or exacerbated by the same range of meds prescribed to relieve it.

Sinus pain may respond to pseudoephedrine, but phenylephrine ain't shit, so check your Sudafed formulation before you decide that decongestant doesn't work.

TMJ, you might notice that you're clenching or grinding at night... or other people might notice more than you do.

Also consider for differential diagnosis, these things that can cause REALLY fucking bizarre referred-pain:

Ear infection (look for fever or pain spiking at weird times when you can't identify a trigger, also maybe nausea)

Dental/oral nerve impingement or infection, try swishing with an analgesic like a chloraseptic spray or lozenge, or oragel. See if pan resolves.

Try tapping on teeth and gums. See if any of them feel 'weird.'

Brush/floss/waterpik/whatever very thoroughly and then gargle and swish as aggressively as you can.

I had a poppy seed making me think I was getting shingles one time. Once it was out, I was fine. Weirdest fucking shit... anyway..."

[disfrutalakia]

prompt: decoration

Heartbeat and pressure rising steadily as papers crossed his *tableless* office floor, 4ever gripped his suit to not tear off some floorboard, all furniture in most active bases simply *gone*. Culprit was clear as day, and Cellbit was really clamoring for something to be done, but 4ever sighed away his communicator, pressing his hands in his temples to alleviate to rapidly coming headache, he should try wrangling something out of the shadow entity.

and *yet*, something made him hesitate to follow the plan his vice laid out in private messages and Richarlyson cross communication. It wasn't the prospect of jailing some resident surely, but... 4ever skin itched, maybe he could settle this in some other form, that didn't also want to make him tear his hair off.

Pulling his warpstone, it is easy to get near Bad's base, but 4ever does loudly swear as the papers accidentally come with him in the teleportation, spreading in a mess against the terrain.

Kneeling down, the sound of someone coming near made his hands shake, but 4ever didn't stop. Some papers waive on his vision, making him stop and look.

"Hello president, what brings you here?"

Bad smiles down at him, and the part of his mind that howls at the moon wants to grind his teeth, but 4ever only cracks a teasing smile at the demon before taking the papers and gets up to face him.

"Can't i visit a friend to detress, Bad?"

"Uhum."

Bad crossed his arms, squinting the light dots of eyes up to 4ever. His skin itched under the layers.

"So? can we go inside or we just gonna stand in this field..."

"Aren't there more important things for you to worry about?"

"Hum?"

"You know, with the whole... disapearance of things."

"So you want to talk about that?" 4ever felt his smile widen, teasing ready jab at his friend.

Bad turned. "C'mon, do you want to see the aquarium?"

4ever smile dropped, something strange in the air between them, but yet. "Of course!"

They trudged along, silence both comfortable and making 4ever mind think over the strange air, maybe Bad was already onto him and his intentions? the demon couldn't possibly overlook that he was the most likely suspect after all.

Entering the halls full of chaos of mobs and backpacks is somehow both a delight and despairing feeling, the chaos was a delight, and 4ever heart ached for the mess and how to clean it up, o how they need a sorting system, maybe he can have a world with-

"4ever... what you think about a black sofa?"

He blinks and looks up at the demon.

"... Some specific place or just, their general look??"

"Like, here, exactly, Let me just..." And then there it was, a two seat sofa laid out from one of the demon's backpacks.

It almost made a vein pop in 4ever head.

"The... the wood work is intricate!"

"Right? tho i thought the dark color could be swapped for something more fun."

4ever watched Bad smile, and god he **cannot** not be fucking with him, holding his breath for a moment and let go, and decided that yeah, let's turn this game a bit.

"How? skinning out another sofa?"

Bad tilted his head at him. "Hum... i don't know, maybe i have some dye-."

"But that would be boring wouldn't it?"

4ever took a step forward, leaning into Bad's space as he squinted more at him, fangs peaking between lips.

Perhaps 4ever shouldn’t focus so much on his mouth.

"As boring as leaving furniture not rescued would it?"

"Are you accusing me of something, president?"

4ever's face opened in a toothy grin.

"Did you leave the server furniture-less, Badboy?"

He watched as the demon expression twitched, his tail whipped two times, his hands pressing and smoothing the fabric he could reach naturally.

Intrusive thoughts would say to 4ever make sure to crumple that part extra more.

"What are you talking about?"

The blond pounced quickly, holding his arms and taking both of them down easily, slamming the demon onto the sofa is an exhilarating feeling that also makes him bear his fangs

"I'm not up to that game, so what about this, if you don't give me an answer, I'll paint this sofa with *your* blood, huh?"

4ever almost wanted to laugh, seeing a blush spread bellow the light eyes, of course he would like this, because he always got along best with the more fucked ones.

"That’s an... interesting offer~"

With a more tight grip, 4ever had to breath out, ok then, they were going to play this game then.

That's totally not what I was expecting you to with the theme but I loved it!!! Forgive me for the lack of words it's 2am over here. But. Know that I loved it!!!!

[dancingdub]

The housekeeper pt 4

so idk if this is any good LOL but its very smutty, I still don't really know where I'm going with this just yet.

18+ ONLY 2k word count

Emily pulled you in, kissing you before making her way down your body leaving a trail of marks on your skin. Cameron was watching with eager eyes before leaning over you and kissing you hard on the mouth, her tongue forcing itself in yours. you accepted her, letting your tongue explore her mouth. a moan escaped your lips as Emily's tongue slid through your folds. she only seemed to want you tonight, though Cameron was eager to get her hands on her. you and Cameron were still pretty drunk and loving the moment, just 3 stunning women having a night. 

Emily was sucking your clit, making you squirm. she began to move her tongue in little circles, almost putting you over the edge. You were still kissing Cameron when you grabbed her hips while Emily was still going down on you. you lifted Cameron up so she straddled your face. she was dripping, your mouth watering at the sight. you moaned as Emily slipped 2 fingers inside you, but your focus was on Cameron's pussy. you began to work on her, licking through her folds, gathering her juices in your mouth. her hips bucked up against your tongue, slowly grinding down harder and harder. emily was working on you, sucking your clit while fucking you, hitting your spot over and over again. you were about to let go when Cameron ground down harder, moaning and riding your face until her legs began to shake. her body slowly sinking down as your tongue entered her. you felt her clench in your tongue and moaned, your body finally letting go. your pussy clenched down on Emily's fingers, pulsing as you're released. Emily grunted, sending vibrations to your clit making you squirm and shake. she finally pulled out sucking her fingers free from your juices as Cameron peeling off of you panting. Emily looked at you with a smirk on her face as she laid down next to you. After you took a minute to get her yourself, you climbed on top of her straddling her hips. you kissed her, tasting yourself on her lips before your tongues met. her tongue exploring your mouth and you couldn’t fight back a moan. she felt amazing against your body, her tongue dancing across your lips before you made your way down her neck, sucking on her pulse point. she whined, her hips bucking against you. you made your way down on her. kissing the inside of her thighs before you licked her folds, having your way with her and fucking her until she came. 

you were sobering up as Cameron passed out, naked on the bed. You couldn’t even remember taking off your clothes but you were naked and so was emily. you cuddled against Emily's chest as you drifted off into a deep sleep. 

***

you woke up in Emily's arms, nuzzling against her before sitting  up and seeing Cameron still passed out next to you. You didn’t remember much about what happened last night but considering Cameron was naked it couldn’t have been good. the headache you had was pounding. you didn’t want to think of the things that could’ve happened.

 did emily fuck her? did i fuck her? What the hell was going on? oh god. 

you didn’t want to deal with reality so you just laid back down next to Emily. she started to stir. you knew it had to be at least 7am, there was no way you were awake before her. After a few moments Emily opened her eyes and looked at you. She was still very naked. you couldn’t help but notice how the blanket caressed her naked body, making you tingle between your legs. She was absolutely beautiful. 

“Em, what the hell happened last night?”

“oh you don’t remember?”

“I don't remember anything after we got in your car at the club…” 

“oh shit.”

Cameron started to stir. “I need advil and coffee right now.” you couldn’t help but laugh. “also where the fuck are my clothes?” uh oh. 

Before Cameron turned over, you and Emily both slipped on some pieces of stray clothing. you got up and handed Cameron a big shirt before making your way to the kitchen and getting the coffee pot going. you had no idea what happened and you had no explanation for Cameron. Emily didn’t want to give any details, I guess that was for the best. Cameron got up and pulled the shirt over her head before heading out to the kitchen. 

“I think I'm going to head home.” Emily was slipping her shoes on. “I'll text you.” Then she was out the door. you heard her car start and drive away. 

“fuck. our cars are at the club still.”

“oh shit i forgot, i can get us an uber.”

“How about later, I am dying.” Cameron went to lay on the couch. you brought her a coffee and some medicine before sitting next to her on the chair. you laid your head back and rested your eyes before drifting back to sleep and cameron did the same

***

you slept for a couple more hours before finally getting up for the day. it was closer to 2pm when you were finally up and eating a decent meal. Cameron was still on the couch, awake but refusing to move. you sat in the chair next to the couch as she laid there hoping you would get a text from Emily, hoping she would remind you of what actually happened last night. 

A couple more hours passed and you both finally went to get your cars from the club and Cameron decided to head back to where she was staying for the weekend. 

you were alone at last. you decided to text Emily first, hoping she’d just forgotten. 

*

“Hey, so do you want to fill me in on what happened last night?”

“That depends, is your friend still at your place?”

“No, she left a little bit ago.”

“Come over.”

“Be there in 20.”

*

your heart was beating a mile a minute as you, once again, pulled up to Emily's. you decided to wear something more casual, you figured you’d be tearing each other's clothes off anyway. 

walking up to her door, and before you could knock she was opening it. she was wearing more casual clothes for once. The v neck and yoga pants she had on were very distracting, but you tried to keep your eyes up as you walked past her inside. she shut the door behind you and gestured to you to sit down on the couch and she sat down next to you. 

“So you really want to know what happened last night?” Emily started, a smirk on her face as she played it all over again in her head. 

“Is it really that bad? or am I making things up?”

“I didn't think it was bad, I just thought you and Cameron were only friends. “

“we are? I don't see what you're getting at.”

“y/n, we all fucked last night. like all 3 of us.”

“oh god.”

“yes, oh god is right.”

“Was it good at least?”

“I was only worried about you.” Emily put her hand on your thigh, slowly making her way from the top of your knee to your upper thigh. she gave it a squeeze while staring at your lips with a smirk. 

“I only want you Emily. Whatever went on with Cameron was a big mistake and I honestly would rather not tell her what happened.”

“Well it doesn’t help that we all were naked when we woke up.” she gave your thigh another squeeze. 

“fuck.” Emily raised an eyebrow while biting on her bottom lip. she sent flutters down to your pussy. How could a woman be so mesmerizing?

“So y/n, I was thinking maybe we could go on a real date, just you and me of course.” she winked at me before leaning in for a kiss and I happily met her in the middle. 

“I'd love to.” 

“Well, we can plan later. for now i want you naked in my bed.” you both stood up and made your way to the bedroom faster than ever before, jumping and giggling onto the bed. Emily kissed you with pure passion, lust was lingering in the air as you tangled in each other's arms, throwing off random pieces of clothes before you were both fully naked. you pleased each other for hours, then finally drifted off into a deep sleep tangled together. 

***

Emily woke up first, removing her arm from your waist and gently sliding out of bed to put on some coffee. she didn’t have to work that monday which was a nice change. She began to make breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes and eggs and bacon. luckily those were your favorite. you rustled in your sleep before waking up to the smell of coffee and breakfast. you stretched before jumping out of bed wearing nothing, slipping on any shirt you could find and making your way out to the kitchen. 

your mouth dropped when you saw Emily. her back turned to the stove but she was also not wearing anything at all. you tiptoed over slowly before wrapping your arms around her waist, your mouth just at her shoulder giving it a little kiss. 

“Good morning pretty.”

“Good morning, it smells amazing in here.”

“pancakes are almost done if you want to make yourself a cup of coffee while i finish up?” you grabbed a mug from the counter and began to pour yourself a cup. you thought you were still dreaming. Emily still being home, naked making breakfast just seemed so surreal. if this was what it could be like together it’s what you wanted. so easy going, no cares or worries, just the comfort of one another. Emily put a full plate of food in front of you and handed you a fork before grabbing her own and sitting next to you.  she slowly began to dig in, waiting for you to do the same. 

It was an amazing breakfast, followed by having sex on the counter. you couldn’t get enough of her. the way she tasted and smelled, it was only a matter of time before you knew she would be gone again for a week. 

“so i was thinking,” Emily began, twirling your hair with her fingers while you both laid on the couch, still very much naked, “maybe you could come here during the week, stay here while I'm gone and make sure it’s tidy and I'll pay. maybe you could just so happen to be here when i come back." She smiled big. 

“I could do that. I also do have other clients you know. I can't stay too much longer today." Sadly you did have to work,you knew that Emily might not be here when you were done for the day so you wanted to soak in all the time with her that you could. 

“I figured as much, when?” 

“my only client if the day is at 3 so i have a couple more hours.”

“No problem, love.” 

***

After spending most of the day with Emily, you went to work and found yourself at home with a glass of wine glued to the couch. you were exhausted and hoping Emily was thinking about you the way you were thinking about her. 

hours passed as you dozed in and out of consciousness on the couch. Around 10 pm you heard a knock at the door, so you scrambled off the couch and looked through the peephole. there she was, at your doorstep with a bottle of wine. 

[emotionallyrin]

im not doing better

this post is kinda an update, it's a proof that i'm still thinking about this platform and in full a talk about what i've been doing and how i'm still alive. showing how i'm still needing help and unable to get it.

may, for 3 weeks straight i couldn't think and had to purely spend all my focus on college. my brain was a mess, i was tired and it was normal. college students were expected to have a heavy workload so it wasn't like my struggling was abnormal and needed help. it just didn't help with my depression.

mostly these 3 weeks kinda acted as some form of therapy, i got my mind of what shitty thoughts i had and onto something else. it was stressful but it removed the thoughts i had for a brief period; also i leaned more into my kpop addiction during this time and it really helped me feel happy.

i finished those 3 weeks, took a short break and cleaned my room. felt that things were good for once. the title lied, i'm doing somewhat better but it's like the world hates me. in the last few days alone its been trying to bring up everything to make me hate myself.

old pictures of a friend i lost, pictures i thought i deleted coming back to haunt me and remind me of the grief i felt over that time. they're not dead, they just betrayed me heavily. it hurt. seeing them again made me feel dragged down, like a void was pulling me back to my roots and i was unable to escape. just as i thought i reached happiness- it ended with me getting so blinded by rage i hurt my hand and laid empty for a while.

throughout the month, although i was distracted a lot, i did write a few draft vents. things i needed to get out but never could at the time because time constraints i had or the inability to draw strength to write what i wanted, now i have the time and lack of care. half way through my pit of hell i thought of my ex again, and it hurt for a while. seems cliche and annoying, brooding over my ex, and it was. it hurt though.

on the positive, since that day i haven't felt all too bad about my ex. not as bad as i used to at least, being fully detached for 2 straight months has helped. april felt like the last month i had to deal with torture around that issue. in general, that month was mostly me alone. it was peaceful and a grind, i felt dead mostly. telling myself to meet the deadline on repeat like i was about to collapse. my brain felt numb, my headaches were loud, my brain almost split.

this past week of rest, has been amazing. i had a few days feeling like i was truly happy for once, thinking why do i need to be guilty that i'm over depression. then things slowly tumbled over and over. the nightmares started again; an old friend who died 2 years ago slowly pops into my dreams. i hate it. it's why i go to see his grave, like i'm paying respects to show i still remember so memories don't hurt me.

we weren't all too close but i'm sentimental i guess- apparently funerals does something to me. it's like my phobia with blood; i wasn't scared before i saw it but then it's now one of the only things i'm scared of.

my birthday is on wednesday. i have a headache, it really hurts. i feel like i'm going to cry alone that day or do something i regret. a friend i have, a lot closer than the other one, had his brother die recently. so recent actually he's not showing up to classes anymore. i didn't know his brother all too well but i'm going to the funeral for him- i'm very empathetic so i don't know how it will go. the funeral is on my birthday. i think i'm going to breakdown and cry.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

i thought you hated the gameplay in P5, or at least the palaces, or idk, i have a hard time remembering what you don't hate about p5 lol

Really it's a "spin the wheel on what part of the gameplay (or just something from P5) you mean and I'll have a different thought on it, if not just one thought then at least complex emotions"

By liking gameplay I meant the turn based part, and that specific kind evolved from P3. Basically I like Hashino style of turn based.

THAT BEING SAID, I found P5 to be too flashy and OP at times with it's new/unique special moves. But those can be reworked (iirc P3R is some of these in it's own way....but I guess we'll see 8U)

As for exploration, yes I don't like the Palaces. They're fine on one playthrough (kinda). But a lot of them narratively are blah (only Kamo and Maruki do a decent job, Mada is.....while not well written is the closest that comes to any narrative beats), or don't understand a good reference (I'm looking at you Futaba dungeon! can't be a good P4 dungeon if you don't actually understand how a good P4 dungeon works....the irony is that if it DID follow the P4 dungeon formula then the beats that were hit in the dungeon would've been actual revelations rather than....iirc stuff we already knew abt before even going into the dungeon TT0TT)

Gameplay/structure of the Palace wise, it doesn't offer the best exploration nor is it NG+ friendly. Something that could easily go hand in hand: shorter ways have MUCH stronger enemies but long way has enemies around your (assumed if not NG+) level.

Considering you can't run past enemies well in this (lest you get booted from the Palace) or you have to grind for money/items to craft (you can buy a lot of these items for smaller quantities each day/week....post arc 1 or 2 iirc) which means you're still REQUIRED to fight in some capacity AND the items don't carry over. TT0TT At least P3/4 you can just run around the enemies aklfjdskaf (P4 it's like 7-10 floors and 2 are fixed, and then you can again.....run around~! P3 you can use split up)

Anyway mini Palace rant over. TT0TT Woke up with a bone to pick with them I guess.

As for how this involves Refan.....yeah if the dungeons are like Palaces it could be an issue. But at least it seems one big headache about Palaces will probs not be in Refan if they do exist....and that's "stealth" (lol you call that stealth?) Anyway no alarm gauge will make things sooooo much easier. TT0TT

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

*

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

[bookishofalder]

Rainy Days

Spencer x Reader

Request: @starwithoutdarkness - Hey! I heard you were looking for requests! Maybe Spencer Reid x reader fake dating fluff? Combined with Request: @paulaern  - Hello!  What about Spencer Reid x reader when they realizes they love each other? Like reader makes something for Spencer and he thinks like "I can't deny anymore, I'm completely and hopeless in love with her" or something like that  (G!neutral if you want)

A/N: Thank you so much for sending in requests! Hope this makes you smile!

Warnings: Swearing, moderate BAU violence, creepy men, fluffiest fluff, intense headache description. Set randomly post prison Reid but Hotch is still there because he should have been! WC-2,488

Spencer was staring at the geo-profile he had been working on all day, very glad to be inside. The weather in Seattle had stayed consistently rainy for the two days the BAU team had been in town assisting in catching a killer, who had been committing serial robberies/murders with no apparent rhyme or reason. And while Spencer didn’t mind the rain, he did mind loud, busy cities. Combined, they usually led to a headache that would take a day or two to recover.

The door to the conference room he was working alone in burst open and slammed shut so suddenly he nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to see-

You.

Spencer hated it when you appeared without warning, catching him entirely off guard and presenting the risk that you would notice the visible effort it took for him to compose himself around you.

While he’d noticed how beautiful and hilarious and empathetic you were the moment you joined the team, he’d fallen in love with you when you had your first case with them. Spencer had begun to ramble about the specifics of casinos, and how ‘beating the house’ was nearly impossible, when the rest of the team had tuned out. A temporary member, Agent Seaver, had sneered ‘I’m sorry I asked.” Effectively shutting him up. But then you had turned in your seat next to him and, after shooting Seaver a look had asked him to continue. And though he didn’t have that much more to say, and it wasn’t all that interesting, you listened to every single word and thanked him.

It had been years since that had happened, your friendship had blossomed into best friends, something Spencer cherished immensely. This was partly why he shoved his feelings down. The relationship did not need to change for Spencer to remain happy; as long as he got to spend time with you at work, or watch movies and make tent forts in his living room. And visit his mom (who adored you and always gave you book recommendations that you would be sure to read the moment you could), or go to comic conventions and museums...yes, as long as he could always do those things with you, he was happy.

No need to risk changing a perfect thing.

Now though, you were shutting the door and giving him your most panicked look, wide-eyed, with your hair damp from the rain you no doubt had run through to get inside, accounting for your breathlessness. If it weren’t for the worry that had sprung up inside of him upon seeing your expression, he would have fixated on how beautiful you looked at that moment.

“Spencer, you’re my boyfriend.” You whisper yelled at him, quickly stepping closer and setting your bag down on the conference table.

“Wha-“ He began, but you cut him off frantically.

“I’ll explain-just, oh fuck-“

Spencer stood frozen to the spot as the door reopened and one of the senior detectives sauntered in, a friendly smile somewhat overshadowed by the almost predatorial glint in his eyes. You awkwardly stepped closer to Spencer, raising a hand in hello.

“Agent (Y/L/N), great to see you’re back, I was hoping to catch you before the end of the day!” He said merrily, placing two hands on the back of the nearest chair. Something about the way his hands gripped the chair made Spencer feel...on edge.

You gave the fakest little giggle Spencer had ever heard from you, “Oh, nice to see you too Detective! Just had to catch up with Agent Reid here...”

When his eyes moved from you to assess Spencer briefly, he felt a protective force rear up, instincts entirely at alert. Without hesitating, he casually draped an arm over your shoulder, brushing some hair back as he did, and replied, “And you promised we could get some coffee from the Starbucks down the road, hon.”

He enjoyed the way your cheeks flushed and noticed the pulse in your neck pick up. You glanced up at him, trying to look coy but he knew you too well and could see you were partly surprised, and also trying not to laugh.

“Um, of course, I nearly forgot, babe, let’s go in about 5-unless, did you need something specific, Detective?” She broke off to glance back at the now scowling man, who gave an annoyed jerk of his head before stomping back out of the room.

Once the door banged closed behind him, you let out the biggest sigh of relief, raising a hand to your face in dismay.

Spencer hadn’t removed his arm yet, “I’m assuming I just helped you avoid being asked out, but why-?”

“Uhg, Spencer, I’ve already turned him down TWICE since we’ve arrived! He’s literally the kind of dude who doesn’t take no for an answer unless another man has some fucking misogynistic claim over the woman!” You exclaimed, before moving to stand right in front of Spencer and lean just your head to his chest, staring down at the floor, “I hate everything.”

Spencer laughed, patting your back softly, but internally making note that he wouldn’t be letting you go anywhere alone for the rest of this case-that detective gave him the creeps. And while you were beyond capable of protecting yourself, he just knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if he thought you could be hurt.

“Well, just so we’re clear I would never want to be called ‘babe’ in a relationship.” He joked and the desired effect was his immediate reward when you lifted your head and giggled-your genuine, beautiful little giggle-and then grinned.

“Spencer, you called me ‘hon’ like we were 70.”

Spencer considered a moment, “We could be, you’ll be Gladys and I’ll be-“

“Winston!” You supplied eagerly, and he frowned at you, trying not to laugh.

“Winston?”

“It’s really very dignified, the kind of name where people call you ‘sir’.” You replied cheekily, and while Spencer grinned, a part of him felt a swoop of pleasure when your lips formed the word ‘sir’.

He decided very quickly that he liked the idea of you calling him that. And then, just as swiftly dismissed that train of thought and chastised himself.

As you both stood together and laughed, the door swung open and Hotch and the team followed him in, all in various stages of the results of exposure to the rain, looking equally grim. Spencer and you abruptly stopped when you saw their expressions and launched back into work mode seamlessly.

———

Two days later, the team was closing in on the unsub and everyone was on high alert. Taking the profile and applying it to the geo-profile he had been working on, Spencer had narrowed down this grubby old apartment that sat above a nightclub as the most likely spot the unsub was staying at. Of course, they were arriving at night which meant the club was busy and loud, people lined up out the doors waiting for their chance to enter, pay too much for a drink and grind their bodies against strangers.

Spencer’s headache from the unforgiving rain was thrumming now with the music that seemed entirely unencumbered by the walls of the stairwell, the team slowly climbing. It was bad enough that his eyes narrowed somewhat, but he didn’t lose focus.

You were behind him, watching his six as Hotch and Morgan approached the door ahead and prepared to breach. Spencer slipped a hand behind his back and, on cue, you’re pinky wrapped with his. A brief promise to each other, ‘I’ve got you.’.

They had anticipated violence and heavy arms, so when their announcement was met with silence and the door was kicked open, the tactical response was to secure positions and carefully proceed. Agents and SWAT members lined the building and were, at that moment, securing the club below to ensure the unsub couldn’t flee into a room full of potential hostages.

Spencer and you were the third pair to enter, quickly moving ahead of the others to secure more rooms, eyes peeled for movement. The floor was covered in litter and random spots of dirt and dried substances. It smelled like body odour and axe body spray-which immediately went to Spencer’s headache and caused it to throb in protest.

“Freeze!”

You had shouted right as Spencer noticed the movement from a back room down the hall, as the unsub leaned out and, not abiding by the command, opened fire. Spencer grabbed you and swung you both behind the wall of the kitchen, out of the line of fire while he shouted the unsubs location.

You recovered quickly, dropping to the ground and leaning out to return fire as Hotch and Morgan ran across to the living room to join the battle. It only took a few moments after that before Morgan managed to get a shot to the suspect's shoulder and he fell with a cry of anguish.

You popped up from the ground, watching as Prentiss and Rossi moved forward to secure the man, and barked into your radio for medics to come in.

Spencer, meanwhile, was reeling. When the shots in the room had all joined together in a cacophony, sound and noise piercing his skull, it had converted to pain and panic in his skull, overwhelming him. He had used his own body to shield yours when he pulled you with him into the wall, and the caution he took with you meant he hadn’t caught himself carefully enough, his head bouncing lightly off of the stone wall.

Which, on a normal day would have simply been annoying. But today, with a headache so severe he was beginning to get spots in his vision, it was detrimental. The scene was secure, so he allowed his eyes to shut, a meagre reprieve but at least it was something, at least he didn’t have to see the beams from the flashlights or the pulsing of the neon signs outside of the windows...

“Winston, take my hand.” Your voice was so, so soft. Spencer let his mouth open slightly, a small rush of air all he managed, trying to say ‘I can’t-it hurts, make it stop’ but you grasped his hand tightly and pulled and he followed, his other hand reaching and grabbing that back of your vest, he let you lead him.

He knew from the reduced foot traffic of agents and crime scene workers that you were taking the rear exit, a stairwell that was narrower than the main. He peeked through his lashes to take the stairs, and then suddenly, the cool night air hit him and the door was closing behind you both.

You kept walking with purpose, leading Spencer further away from the loud building. The rain spattered his face but with each step the noise reduced and after a short walk it became relatively quiet.

“Sit.” You murmured, halting. Spencer opened his eyes and saw that you had led him to the farthest spot in the parking lot from the building, where trees lined the lot along a community park that was probably utilized by vagrants and drug dealers more than families. But there was a bench, and you were waiting for him to take a seat. You had pulled out a compact, expandable emergency rain shield from one of the pockets on your FBI utility belt and tossed it on the bench, protecting you both from soaking your underwear.

Spencer sat, setting his elbows on his legs and leaning forward with his hands pressed to his face. He took deep, steadying breaths as you joined him, your hand on the back of his neck. At first, he thought you were just resting it there because his FBI vest would have prevented him from feeling your hand on his back, however, a moment later it was joined by your other hand and a very cold object.

Resisting the urge to pull away, he gasped at the contact, “What-?”

“On-the-go cold compress, Doctor.” You explained, leaving it in place and then rummaging again. Spencer wanted to look but the compress, combined with the quiet, was already doing wonders. He continued to take deep breaths.

“When you’re ready, try this.” You said softly, pressing something to his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw a mini flask that had his name written on the side.

He turned his head slowly so as not to move the compress and met your eyes, which were assessing him with concern. “(Y/N), when did we start drinking on the job?”

You giggled quietly, “It’s just water mixed with this like, vitamin powder that’s supposed to be good for rehydrating you quickly. I did some research on how to help headaches like yours on the go, just in case, and I made this ‘Spencer’ care bag.” You rambled a little when he didn’t reply.

Spencer looked back at the flask and opened it, quickly downing the contents. It tasted pretty fruity and he realized he was thirsty, this taking the edge off.

“Is it okay?” You asked. Spencer raised his head and met your eyes, searching them.

He was overwhelmed, the headache already fading, in its place an intensely warm feeling building inside of him as he considered the time and effort you had taken to care for him. He hadn’t asked you, or hinted, you had just taken it on to find a way to help him and you were right there when he needed you the most.

You had always been there when he needed you. When he had been shot protecting Blake, when he struggled to care for his mother, when he had gone to prison, when he was freed, you were there.

The words tumbled out, unable to be contained a second longer.

“I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Your mouth opened and closed in surprise, taken entirely off guard. Though he worried what you would say, he couldn’t deny the relief he felt having finally said it out loud. He watched patiently as your mind processed his confession, holding his breath.

“I-Spencer,” And then suddenly your lips were pressing into his and the pain from his headache ceased entirely. Spencer was consumed by the feel of you against him, of your hands holding his face and the hum of content you gave when he returned your passion, dropping his flask and sliding his hands up your neck, gripping tenderly.

After what could have been hours, weeks, or years, you both broke apart, pulling back just enough to make eye contact without your eyes crossing. Neither of you let go, your breath puffing out in wisps in the cold night air.

“I love you too,” You breathed, “I could grow old with you, Winston.”

Spencer laughed, relief and happiness swooping through him at your words, “Gladys, I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.”

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

You grinned back at Spencer, and then he kissed you again.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

run to you | Harry Styles

Summary: harry can’t help but feel a little jealous when it seems like his best friend is interested in someone else

GENRE: angst, fluff at the end

WARNING: jealous harry, roommates, being dumped, drunk reader briefly, crying

Pairing: harry styles x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Author note: I write a ton of friends to Lovers fic

Blog appropriate for all ages

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission.

---

Harry's fingers drummed on the table he was sitting at. His eyes knitted as he watched your figure across the room like you were some type of prey.

You were grinding up against a guy as the alcohol you consumed ran through your veins. You were carefree, living you life and enjoying yourself like lots of people were doing in the club that night except harry.

God he hated how that guy was touching your waist, and how you smiled as you looked at him, and how your lips were almost touching his. He hated it, harry really fucking hated it.

He wanted nothing more than tear that guy away from you, but he couldn't.

Harry adjusted himself in his seat, tearing his eyes away from you and the mystery man. His hands went down to his lap and he cleared his throat. He used every inch in his body to not look back over at you.

5 minutes later the song died down and you came back giggling. "Hi harry." Harry looked up at you, pressing his lips into a thin line.

You of course didn't notice and kept talking. "It's fun night. I just met this cute guy and he blew me away. He's going to take me on a date later this week because he likes me. It's going to be so fun." You squealed.

Harry growled under his breath before getting up. "Let's go." He took your hand. You looked up at him confused as to what the problem was. "Harry, what is it?"

Harry pulled you out of the club and to the car he drove you in. "It's late and you're really drunk. It's time to go."

You got in the car, harry did as well, and he drove you away to your apartment.

The whole ride harry grip on the steering wheel was tight. His mind was clouded with thoughts he just couldn't shake.

You on the other hand was confused. You peered over at Harry every now and then seeing his jaw tighten and his knuckles white from his grip. You didn't know what was wrong with him but you didn't bother trying to figure out either.

-

About 10 minutes later harry pulled into the driveway. He parked the car and got out. He helped you out of the car Because of your drunk state before letting you into the house.

Harry walked right passed you to his room with out a word. You felt yourself tear up at the action. You don't know if it was because you were drunk or you were genuinely upset, but you hated it.

That night you went to sleep crying and confused. Harry heard your cries loud and clear seeing that he was in the room next to you. He felt guilty for treating you like that but he was pissed.

--

The next morning harry woke up at the crack of dawn. He ripped the blanket off and dragged himself out of bed.

He went straight to the kitchen to get you some water Because he knew you were going to have a killer headache when you awoke. He still cared about you of course.

He walked back up the creaking stairs, grabbed an aspirin from the bathroom before walking to your room.

You were sprawled out on the bed, mouth open as you snored. Harry chuckled to himself at the image. He sat the water and pill down on your nightstand before shaking you awake.

"y/n, time to wake up."

You opened your eyes, groaning as your head started to throb. You easily regretted getting wasted last night.

You looked up at harry; he had a faint smile on his face that didn't quite meet the eyes. Images of last night flooded in your brain of harry being unknowingly mad at you. It made your heart drop in your chest.

You sat up and reached out for the water and aspirin. With harry's help you gulped it down before you looked up at him.

"uhh what was your problem yesterday?"

Harry sighed, "nothin' I was just ready to go." Harry lied. You knew it was a lie but didn't pry.

Your phone on the bedside table ring causing you to reach over for it. You opened your messages and began to read.

Harry watched as a smile creeped up on your face. "What is it?"

"the guy from yesterday message me. He wants to take me on a date tonight." You giddy said.

Harry swallowed, jaw tightening. "Well.. that sounds fun."

"I-"

Before you could get a word out, harry walked out of the room. You sat there dumbfounded. You didn't understand what his problem was and right now you seriously had a problem with him. He was being an huge ass.

--

Your makeup was done, you were dressed in a silk dress and a few expensive pieces of jewelry for your date. You exhaled as you stood in front of the mirror in the foyer. You were waiting for your date to come.

Harry walked down the stairs and saw you in that beautiful dress. God you were beautiful but it wasn't for him.

He walked straight to the kitchen without saying a word to you even though you looked right at him.

You walked into the kitchen ignoring his pissed state. "so, I'm probably going to be out till 11 so I'll see you later." You said to him.

He turned away from you grabbing a mug from the cabinet. "Have fun I guess."

You grew angry at him, "what is your problem? You've been acting like a huge jackass!"

Harry scuffed, "I'm a jackass. At least I'm not the one who's going out with a fuck boy." He placed the kettle on and placed the mug on the counter. His eyes didn't met yours at all. You decided it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine and ignore him like he's been ignoring you.

You walked out of the kitchen as you heard a knock on the door. You grabbed your bag and coat before walking to the door. Before you left you yelled out to harry.

"have a good Rest of your fucking day Harry." You walked out of the house, slamming the door slightly.

"you too y/n." Harry spat out to himself.

---

Days and days went on since you and harry talked on the night on your date.

Everytime you both were in the same room you ignored each other. It was like you were both strangers in your own home.

It wasn't like you both wanted to do this but harry was being a prick and you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

-

It was the day of another date with the guy you met at the bar. You were really excited. You sat in the restaurant waiting for him to come.

5 minutes turned to 10 minutes, 10 turned to 20, and 20 turned to 30 and he hasn't shown up. You started to worry, aggressively texting him but there was no response.

You were getting embarrassed at all the waiting you were doing right now. After a while you just decided to leave. After telling the waiters you were leaving, you walked out of the restaurant. As soon as you reached your car your phone went off.

You opened it seeing a message.

Bar guy | I'm not coming, I found another girl. Sry

You felt your heart drop as you got in your car. You held in your tears as you drove to your apartment. The only thing you wanted more than anything was to be with Harry. Even though you hated his guts, he was always the one there when you had a breakup.

You pulled into the driveway, parking the car. Harry who was inside wasn't expecting you back so early. He frowned as he sat his guitar down.

The door open revealing you. You were crying and went straight to harry.

"hey, love what happened?" Harry asked as placed a kiss on your forehead, wrapping his arms around you.

"he dumped me." You cried out. Harry awed as he once again kissed your head. "It's okay, he didn't deserve you."

You pulled away sniffling. "I'm sorry. I called you a jackass and you were right. He was a fuck boy and I didn't see it and I'm so so-"

"hey, no no it's okay, it's okay." Harry stopped you. "You didn't do anything wrong. He's the one I'm mad at not you ok."

"yeah... Ok." You whipped your eyes and sat down on the couch. Harry did the same. He picked up his guitar. "So I know I'm a shit friend sometimes but what do you think about us having a little bit of fun. Just me and you. I'll sing you a song."

You chuckled, "okay."

Harry smiled, "alright, let's do this."

---

You and Harry spent the whole night enjoying each other's company. After a few days of not talking it was worth it.

Later that night you and harry are laying on the floor after you both had a long dance party– yes you both were cheesy like that.

Your chest was rising and falling as you looked up at the ceiling. "that was fun."

Harry looked up at you, "of course it was, you're with me bitch, it's obviously going to be fun." Harry said

You laughed. You turned to harry and smiled. "Thanks for today." Harry smiled at you, "you're welcome."

He leaned over and placed a kiss on your nose, something that was normal and he has been doing for years. But this felt different to you.

His lips lingered making your skin tingle. When Harry pulled away he was inches away from your face. You couldn't help but close the gap between the both of you.

Your lips moved with his slowly with meaning. You moaned softly into his lips as harry pushed your back on the ground and hovered over you.

Eventually he pulled away and looked down at you. "Wow." Was all you could get out as he stared down at you. Harry chuckled, "yeah, wow." He placed another soft kiss on your lips before getting up leaving you shocked on the ground.

----

@captainamerica-is-bae

[antialiasis]

What do you think about the newly announced Pokémon games so far?

We don't have all that much to go on yet, but:

Scarlet and Violet appear to be retaining aspects of PLA such as seamless battles with camera control and all wild Pokémon hanging out in the overworld. This is cool!

The battle system will almost definitely just be back to standard mainline Pokémon; I'll give it some chance that something resembling agile and strong style could get incorporated as a gimmick, but I doubt it, and almost certainly not the way they worked in PLA, since I strongly expect it'd be way too much of a headache to try to translate the full battle system into something not strictly turn-based.

PLA-style catching could be a thing but I doubt it (the phrasing on the website suggests not). I wasn't really a big fan of sneaking up on Pokémon to catch them in PLA, so I don't mind this from a gameplay perspective, though I appreciated that PLA let you simply do both, and entirely understand why people would be disappointed at the loss of that choice. From a worldbuilding perspective, though, I actively disliked it and kind of will be happier if it doesn't become a thing in the main series (because if you can just sneak up on an unwary Pokémon and throw a ball at it and that's it, we entirely lose the sense that the Pokémon is challenging you, and the whole thing feels a whole lot less mutualistic and requires a bigger and clumsier gameplay and story segregation leap to believe that we have any kind of actual bond of friendship with the Pokémon we catch).

I would like the games to retain the ability to swap out moves and evolve Pokémon on the fly once requirements are reached, like in PLA; I would not like the games to relegate all evolution and learning of moves to menuing the way it is in PLA. To me, the PLA system is nice for smooth and uninterrupted gameplay, but it entirely takes the satisfying drama out of evolving or learning moves. That little moment of pause and sense of accomplishment when your Pokémon learns something new or is about to evolve is important to the feeling of growing alongside your Pokémon, in my view; in PLA I barely felt like I even had to pay any attention to my Pokémon, and would generally only even notice they'd learned new moves sometime way after the fact when I happened to look at the list and go, 'Oh, that wasn't there before,' which is a super anticlimactic way for my starter to get their signature move. My proposal: trigger evolution/offer to immediately swap out a move when the requisite level is reached, but make it easy to cancel out of it immediately and do it through streamlined menuing later if the player so desires.

I'm not personally wild about the game being fully open-world, because as I keep talking about, I'm not a big fan of open-world, but that's totally a format that meshes well with the Pokémon concept and I expect it'll work pretty well. Mainly what I'm hoping for is an engaging story with clear objectives to propel you through the game throughout. I didn't get a good sense of how easy it was to progress steadily through the story of PLA without engaging with sidequests or sitting around grinding catches etc., because Shadey (who likes this sort of thing) ended up doing like every sidequest while I sat on my laptop doing something else; by the time I took over to do more story, he'd have gotten me way beyond the required Galaxy rank for the next part. (While many requests were kind of cute, I quickly found that whole aspect of the game really tedious to actually play, at least with the obligatory running to the questgiver and then running to wherever you have to go to fulfill it and then running back to the questgiver. Once again just not really my kind of game.) It does seem reasonable that the main thing gating story progression in an open-world S/V would just be gym badges, which would be good, because then I could just do my favorite thing of finding a way to beat the gym while horrifically underleveled and then progress the story some more, while somebody else who actually enjoys running around taking their time can do that and have an easier time of the gym afterwards.

Sprigatito is adorable. I don't really like the other two much (their evolutions might be cool!) but grass kitty grass kitty GRASS KITTY

aw man Game Freak slow dooooown we didn't need Gen 9 yet. Everyone's enjoying PLA! Obviously they have this whole schedule about the show and other merchandising and everything but I just wish they'd relax the schedule a bit. At this rate people are just going to have Pokémon fatigue by the time Gen 9 comes out. Still really hope whoever at the Pokémon Company is making the executive decisions on the timeline of the franchise will just let them breathe and polish their games and stop trying to have them pump out new generations every three years. Nobody needs this! Pokémon is not going to stop being the world's biggest media franchise even if they chill a little!

[yunhofingers-writes]

Alone- Yeosang (FWB)

Note♥︎- This is part two to FWB! i remember @yeotlny mentioned something about me adding a part two to this and so i did it hehehehe.. Please i don’t write angst so this was pretty much my second time trying this. .As always if you want to be added to my taglist, here it is

Genre♡︎- Angst

Warnings/Tags♥︎- Mention of sex, grinding, cheating, Sad life man

Pairing: Yeasang X F | Wooyoung X F!

Word count♡︎- 1871+

❥- You ran home with tears in your eyes, regretting everything. Your heart hurts just thinking about everything that happened. Your boyfriend was always so sweet to you, always treated you right, gave you everything you wanted, loved you the way you’ve always wanted and you ruined it all.

You’re a cheater and have been for 2 months. You would still kiss your boyfriend’s lip even after you blew Yeosang somewhere. Yeosang was your best friend, and your fuck buddy. It’s always been that way since college.

At first, you were just his friend who had a pathetic little crush on him. Your crush has been carrying from freshman year until junior year in college when you had the guts to finally tell him. He frowned at you and wouldn’t have talked to you for at least 2 months. You spent those 2 months crying and working on yourself. Bettering yourself.

Yeosang finally came back to you the moment you were willing to find self love in yourself, the moment you were happy again. You had some words to tell him.

He asked to speak with you first and you were ready, or so you thought. The moment you stepped into his house, you were pushed against the door by Yeosang. His lips were kissing all around you, bucking his hips into yours. Your mind is only thinking of one thing: your crush is trying to have intercourse with you. He let go of you and looked into your eyes “Do you want to do this with me for real?” He asked and you nodded quickly.

You woke up in his bed the next morning, thinking you both were a couple. His exact words were “look, yesterday was fun, but I would rather us just be friends. I'm not ready for a relationship.” There went your confidence you spent months working on.

There was nothing that could fix your sadness, not even your bestest friend, Mingi.

Surprisingly, you were the one who ran back to him, kissing him. You were the one who told him ‘let’s become friends with benefits

Of course with some hesitation, Yeosang agreed.

A year later, you found your boyfriend, Wooyoung. You two were so happy together. He always did what he had to for you to be happy. He loved you like no other, gave you all of his attention and loyalty, unlike you.

Not even two month in the relationship, you cheated with Yeosang. You just couldn’t get over Yeosang and his cock. He fucked you too well for you to run away that fast, to walk in general.

Today was your breaking point, you felt so bad at how easily you walked in the house like you did nothing behind his back. He would kiss you, cook for you, run your bath, everything to make you happy. You were just treating him like trash.

Yeosang bringing up Wooyoung in your sex session today has made you realize you were a horrible girlfriend. You cried until you got a headache.

You know what you have to do. Wooyoung deserves better and a better girlfriend.

You spent the rest of your night crying until you went to bed.

You woke up in the worst mood ever. You didn’t even want to check your phone at all, but you knew you had to.

You checked it and saw that you had 20 missed calls from Wooyoung, 1 missed call from Yeosang, 12 missed calls from Mingi, and 2 missed calls from San, Wooyoung;s best friend.You panicked, not knowing what to do. San never calls you. you were scared

You felt that it was less stressful if you called Mingi back, so that was what you did.

“Hel-“

You didn’t even get your words out before Mingi started storming off on you.

“What did we talk about already huh? You promised me you were going to leave Yeosang alone! And what happened? You got yourself in some shit. I’m not helping you this time, you’re on your own.” Mingi nagged and you started crying.

“Mingi- please I don’t know what to do.”

“Uh uh- maybe next time actually try to listen to me, okay? I’ll be here if you need a shoulder to cry on, sweetheart.”

You ended the call with one question on your mind.

How the fuck does Mingi know? Wait-

You quickly called San and to your misfortune, he answered.

“I’m disappointed in you. I told you not to hurt him, and that’s exactly what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself for this horrible behavior.” San told you, voice light.

“That’s not what I called you for though. Wooyoung said ``meet him at his house now.”

Before you asked any questions, he ended the call.

Now you were really panicking. Your body felt super heavy.

This was all your fault. Everything was your fault and you knew that. You just weren’t ready to actually take accountability for it.

You wanted to run away and never look back.

You were regretting everything.

You shouldn’t have done anything with Yeosang.

You got ready for the day as slow as possible, not looking forward to it. You wondered if you could just sleep your problems away and ignore everyone. You know you can’t. You can’t run or sleep away from everything.This is your mistake and you must own up to it.

No matter how many times you tell yourself this, you know it’s not making you feel better.

+

You walked to Wooyoung’s house, slowly of course, thinking about all of the laughs you shared with Wooyoung, the kisses, the hugs, the small gifts you use to give each other unexpectedly. Everything was ruined quickly with a snap of the finger all because you wanted dick..

pathetic..

You hate yourself right now.

You really lowered your standards to someone who doesn’t even care about your happiness. Someone who only thinks of having sex with you, nothing else.

Why would you do that to yourself? How could you do that to yourself?

You squeezed your eyes together tightly, trying to see if you’re dreaming. You have to be, there’s no way you’re not dreaming.

You opened them and were in front of Wooyoung’s house. You nervously knocked on the door 3 times. You hoped he wasn’t here so you could run home.

Your stomach dropped down when you heard the door opening. So this was happening right now..It was time for confrontation and honestly, you were nowhere near ready.

Wooyoung was staring through your soul right now. You fiddled with your fingers, suddenly finding the ground entertaining.

“You can come in.” You winced at how cold his voice was. He sounded like he hated you and you couldn’t blame him.’

You were just confused on how he even found out.

You tried to shake your nerves off as you walked in the house, surprised to see Yeosang sitting there, smirking at you. “Hey.” He waved.

You nervously waved at him and sat down on the chair next to him, across from Wooyoung.

“I’m going to ask you this once.”

This is really happening right now.

“Did you cheat on me?”

You looked down and gnawed on your lip. You didn’t want to look him in the face. You didn’t want to see him sad, you didn’t want to see him angry.

“Well?!” His voice raised a little higher and you jumped. Yeosang just looked, daydreamed.

“I did.” You cried out. Tears streaming down your face endlessly. You felt so bad. Your heart hurts

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung looked away, jaw locked.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Wooyoung pulled at his hair and walked away.

“I knew you were doing something sneaky behind my back. I just couldn’t pin-point it.”

He walked back to you, eyes glossy. “I would’ve never thought you would’ve been the one to cheat on me. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? Did I not give you everything you wanted?”

You thought you were crying earlier, You’re balling now.

All you could do was apologize to him. You can feel his heart shatter right in front of you and Yeosang.

The unanswered question was finally answered.

“Yeosang sent me a video.”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Yeosang who wasn’t paying you no mind.

“He told me that he felt bad he was fucking you while i was waiting for you.” His tears dropped

You watched as Yeosang nodded.

“I want to break up.” He had his eyes closed as he said his statement.

You saw this coming. You just weren't prepared for it. at all.

You nodded your head, and looked back down, embarrassed that this is all happening in front of Yeosang, upset that he was the one who snitched and got away, and overall disappointed in yourself for letting yourself down like that.

After all of these years of being hard on yourself, not having self love and having to build all of that, you’ve learned nothing.

You deserve everything that just happened.

You can’t even be mad at Yeosang. You deserved it all.

“Was this fun to you?!” Wooyoung harshly questioned, showing you the video of you and Yeosang’s last sex session. You watched, defeated.

“Was it worth our relationship?” He was harshly wiping his tears. “I thought we were something. I didn’t know that sex affected our relationship that bad.” He shook his head, finally ready to accept defeat and go on with his life.

“Don’t say anything, just leave, both of you.” He walked to his door and slowly opened it.

Yeosang got up first, bowing and walked out with you following.

Once you both left, you turned him around. He faced you with a blanked face.

“Why did you do that?! I wanted to do it on my own. I didn’t fucking need your help.” You spat out

He rolled his eyes and pushed your hand off of his shoulder. “You’re just as wrong as I am. You came to me first with your ‘yeosang, i’m horny’ ‘yeosang touch me please’ ‘yeosang he can’t fuck me like you’ bull shit and now you want to cry because you got caught in your bullshit. We’ve been fucking for 2 months without your poor boyfriend knowing. I don’t want to longer fuck a cheater. “ He stood still, dark eyes piercing through yours.

“But you were with me in this.” You cried harder.

“And now I'm not. If you’ll excuse me, I have a date to go to today.” He brushed past your shoulder and your eyes widened.

A date?

Is this why you outed me? So I could get out of your way? So I could lose my relationship? Or because you simply thought it was entertainment?”

Yeosang turned around with a loud sigh, getting frustrated at you yelling at him. “I’m ready for a relationship now, I no longer want to have play time with you anymore. It’s your choice whether you accept it or not but you will respect it.”

That was his last words to you before completely moving out of your life.

You ruined everything.

You have nothing, nobody.

You were alone now.

Alone.

End

Krusty crew: @serialee @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @a-soft-hornytiny @yeotlny @lizsvcks @build-a-roleplay @moonxteez @yeosang99 @yunsangoveryonder @twancingyunhoe @seongsangsgf @chvngbxn @ki6hyun @latte-fairytaekwoon @sansbun @little-precious-baby @ateezappreciation @yutasyiddiepiercing2 @empenguin01 @violetwinters @its-bsma @underratedmisfit @sourmist @lunarteez2

Network Ping: @8makes1teamnet

[boop-le-snoot]

Doll Parts | tony stark x reader

i love him so much it just turns to hate // he only loves those things because he loves to see them break // and someday you will ache like i ache // Hole - Doll Parts

all hurt comfort. angst. no happy ending. big sad. tony could have been like this, you know. he was like this to pepper at some point. i don't know why i am like this today. rated M for themes of (implied) addiction & cheating and non-explicit mentions of intimacy. word count: 3,3k

It wasn't as if she was blind or dumb. She saw the way he treated everyone around him; whenever a single person got too close he'd push them away, consciously or not. The man loved pushing everybody's buttons as if he was playing Galaga for a living; rapidly, mercilessly, with intent. Tony Stark was not a man to whom a person would give their heart willingly.

It was her own fault she went and gave hers away, to him, of all people. And sometimes, it did feel like he loved her, in his own way. Tony would shower her with gifts and affection, cling to her whenever he wasn't away on SI business, and God, the sex was out of this world. Sometimes, she felt as if she would suddenly burst into a blinding flash of light, scalding and deafening, that would sprout from the invisible wounds his fingers left on her skin. Like fine china, she cracked little by little under his steady, tender hands.

The first time he'd ended their short, by average standards, but long - by his, relationship, it didn't come as a surprise. She had never held illusions on ensnaring the world's most notorious playboy. Younger and less jaded, she amicably agreed to get her things that very same day, blocked his number and left for an overdue vacation in the tropics. Being able to browse the gossip sites speculating on their lack of public appearances whilst sipping a Strawberry Daiquiri was a much better alternative to spending her nights holed up in rainy Manhattan, having to answer numerous "I told you so" calls from friends and relatives.

Maybe, three daiquiris should've been enough. But she'd quit smoking because he said the smell bothered him and she- well, she could do anything she wanted now. Being alone and not dating a very public figure definitely had way more perks than she previously had taken for granted in her much less exposed life. That's how the heartache began to recede: it was hard to mope when fun was calling for you by your name.

Some of Tony's character traits had migrated onto her. Which wasn't bad per se, she had been told she could use to loosen up. Her friends rejoiced in the newfound adventurousness, never missing an opportunity to go out, throw a party, go on a clubbing spree. She was game and she was enjoying it. Dolled up and eyes sparkling, the newfound confidence radiated off her like a beacon, attracting just about every single like-minded person in a five mile radius.

Tony's champagne he had sent to their table meant nothing. Her friends laughed and giggled and asked her all about the juicy details about the billionaire; as much as she searched the rowdy crowd for a familiar pair of baby doe browns, they weren't anywhere within sight. So she went back to talking and smiled as bright as the strobe lights, throwing down a whiskey shot to water the burning ache in her chest.

She found him on the dancefloor. Seconds after she stepped her foot into the mass of grinding bodies Tony was there, an equally happy and intoxicated smile on his face and arms wide open, as if they hadn't parted ways at all. She wanted to be angry with him, she really did, she wanted to snide his frivolity and the possessive way that he had the audacity to treat her.

His eyes, they were her untold weakness. She hadn't seen him so happy in months. Just once, she agreed, she'd let it slide. And so they danced, bodies accustomed to each other in the way that seemed to be impossible for her to achieve with anyone since the day that she left Tony Stark.

A splitting headache and a cold, empty bed greeted her the next morning. Thankfully, her clothes were laying haphazardly on the floor of the bedroom - the bed that was not his own but, rather, as she assumed, one of the many guest rooms in his tower.

Not the one to usually harbour shame of her very human needs, she felt like a cheap whore when she got dressed and grabbed her purse, making a beeline for the door to the elevator. As soon as the doors opened, she was greeted with a woman in a professional suit - tall, strawberry blonde and as cold as the Arctic, beautiful in the Vogue-magazine, unattainable way.

"Good morning," The woman spoke in a pleasant tone.

She wanted to retch from the false cheerfulness. "Good morning, ma'am. I was just leaving," Refusing to bow to her own shame, she flashed an equally cheerful grin towards the blonde.

"I'm Mr. Stark's personal assistant, my name is Pepper Potts," They briefly shook hands, neither of them wanting to touch the other longer than it was necessary. "There is a car waiting for you downstairs. Be sure to take the left exit."

Internally fuming, she smiled slightly wider, seeing no need to introduce herself or prolong the awkward interaction longer than necessary. "Thank you, Ms. Potts, that will not be necessary. I have arranged my own ride. Have a nice day, ma'am," With that, she pressed the button once again, entering the elevator with the expression of polite contentment glued to her face like a persistent piece of dog shit she couldn't shake off the bottom of her shoe.

Ms. Potts' façade slipped slightly - she must've been new - as the blonde ran a sharply observant look over the woman in the elevator, pulling out her phone as soon as the elevator door was halfway closed. That was quickly forgotten, her head growing clearer with each second it was pressed against the cold window of the cab she'd called on the way downstairs.

It was a mistake, a perfectly human accident that happened to the best of them. Only it left a bitter residue somewhere south of her ribcage, something acrid and viscous that even alcohol couldn't melt. The more she drank, the thicker that ball of rolled up frustration became, bleeding into her work, her relationships with her friends. It was tiresome to keep craving something so far out of her reach.

The exhaustion grew day by day, until her chest felt constricted for most part of the day and all the oxygen in the whole wide world wasn't enough. Her heartache was saved, strangely enough, by aliens - they rained down on New York city like frogs during the Plague in the book of Exodus; as if God himself was angry at the state of affairs of his favourite pet earthlings. For a time, she couldn't afford to worry about her broken heart and focused on the dilapidated city, landing her resources and skills whenever, whenever she could.

Late at night, exhausted and drained, she allowed herself to flick through the news, eagerly soaking up the new details that seemed to pop up every other day. Aliens were real, Thor was one, Captain America was alive and her ex-boyfriend was now a member of the merry band of misfit superheroes.

She had never taken his hero sidegig too seriously. Tony had some good in him, he wasn't the attention-demanding supervillain-waiting-to-happen, but neither he was hero material. The Tony she knew was akin to a hyperintelligent kid left without supervision. Consequences were a slight setback, not a surefire deterrent for this man.

Her building remained mostly intact - some cosmetic damages that were repaired quickly and did not concern her apartment at all - so she stayed in the same place, much to everyone's dismay. A good chunk of her friends had moved away from NYC as soon as they could - not that she blamed them - but the calls of her family, consisting of begging and nagging her to move states, were beginning to climb over the annoying line very quickly. More often than not, she ignored all calls that weren't from her friends or work.

It shouldn't have surprised her that Tony showed up on her balcony one night - but the shriek that left her was utterly involuntary. His armored suit was noisy and clunky, just like was expected from a huge chunk of metal. Tony's face was a ghost of the man she used to know: he was pale, the bags under his eyes were fit to carry groceries in and he'd lost more than a few pounds around his middle.

Not that she had a glow-up. Work hours were long, volunteer work was by far more exhausting and emotionally draining. With her support system scattered across the country and free hours few and in-between, she'd acquired a shrink. Nightmares went away and the sluggishness, too, thanks to a couple of convenient prescriptions. It seemed like the professionals were as clueless as any in dealing with the aftermath of an alien invasion.

"You weren't returning my calls," Tony stated in the way of hello. It was so like him, to be skipping the pleasantries and glossing over the details.

"I have your number blocked," She replied unkindly, raising an eyebrow as the suit retracted and the man, wearing worn jeans and an oil-stained tee, stepped into the twilight of her home without an invitation.

"I wanted to make sure you are alive and your home is being rebuilt in case it was demolished. Stark foundation is shouldering most of the expenses," He offered in the way of explanation, beelining for the nice whiskey she kept in a tumbler in the living room.

The snort escaped her lips before she could help it; brain chronically overtired but medicated; Adderall and weariness. He was never a good liar, only a good faker. "Why are you here, Tony?" All of it: the damages, the casualties, all of it was public record, accessible 24/7. All he had to do was open Google.

He turned around, scanning her head-to-toe, in that not-quite-convinced way. "Just wanted to see if you're okay," He tried for nonchalant but his eyes were haunted. The whiskey glass he was holding empty in seconds.

She walked up to him, staying at an arm's distance from the man, before doing a slow, sarcastic twirl. "I'm fine. Not a scratch. Was in Staten Island that day."

He nodded, not at all convinced. "Good," Before slamming the glass down with such force, she was afraid the countertop now sported a rounded indent. Fingers twitching, he pulled the woman into himself before she could utter a peep, smashing their lips together without any grace, paying no attention to the way she froze as still as a statue. "God, I missed you. Couldn't bear the thought of you dying..." He mumbled in between harshly biting the plump of her bottom lip and steering the kiss towards his wishes, hand tangled in the hair on the back of her head.

He tasted like whiskey and desperation.

She couldn't not give in. She'd felt the same way when she watched his red and gold armor fly into that wormhole, missile in tow. She'd felt the same despair clawing at her ribcage when his lifeless body flew back from it before being caught by the rabid green monstrosity.

It wasn't graceful and it wasn't pretty; feeling like a monster herself, she responded the same way he did. She shredded his clothes, she clawed his back, leaving wet crimson streaks in the wake of her nails and whispered the ugliest, nastiest truths she had denied herself for so long. He left with the promise to stay in contact and for once, he did.

Nothing was the same. Tony was far from the careless, extravagant billionaire he used to be. These days he was a cynical, analytical asshole that one-upped people even before he had a real need to do so. Both of them had changed, really. She was not the tender uptown girl either.

The nights with him were rare and long; the nights alone with her work were recurrent and longer. The tower stood out on the NYC skyline like a sore thumb, beckoning with the unattainable snipe hunt of having something stable with the world's #1 superhero, Tony Stark. Each time they met, she felt almost as dirty as the time she stood in the elevator under the scrutiny of Pepper Potts.

Even if he didn't outright hide her. She'd ran into Black Widow and Clint Barton once or twice, each of them casting a glance at her Special Visitor badge before muttering niceties and moving on with their day. It was only slightly better with the Captain: he got in the elevator two floors below Tony's penthouse at 8 AM in the morning, just as she was leaving for work - dressed in a sharp pantsuit that was not-quite on Pepper's level. The soldier must've assumed she was a high-rank employee or a friend, the tips of his cheeks blushing as he spoke a quiet: "Good morning, ma'am," In that semi-formal tone of his.

Seeing a grown man get so flustered was quite adorable. "Good morning, Captain Rogers, sir," She replied in a matching tone, humoring him.

The elevator stopped suddenly and a few employees got in, staring openly at the national icon, who had his eyebrows slanted in confusion. The woman shared his sentiment: it was Tony's private elevator. She guessed all the other ones were too full in the mornings so the tower's AI put the underused one to work.

Or, at least, that's what she tried to convince herself of anyway. It wouldn't be past Tony to get jealous over something as trivial as sharing an elevator car with Captain America.

The plateau of normalcy didn't last long. Just as she was opening her third bottle of wine for the night, laptop open on the kitchen counter and proudly displaying "Tony Stark and Pepper Potts - America's newest power couple?" article, she realised he was a coward, too. Slowly but surely, he had ghosted her, not even bothering with an explanation of his sudden unavailability, the several dates missed and even more postponed indefinitely.

They were never going to be a normal couple. She had made her peace with that, ugly and depressing - but it was real. She thought what they had was real. She finally had admitted to herself that she loved him, loved an impossible man, loved to the bottom of Hell and pitfire. The fireworks under her skin had never fully gone away, she realised as more and more ugly sobs broke from her chapped lips.

She blocked his number again and bought herself a new one, deleting the "Tony Stark" contact for good. There was more than enough work to do and the time to feel sorry for herself was sparse. And if she picked up a habit to make sure the time working was spent with proper efficiency, without soaking documents in saltwater that her eyes seemed to overproduce those days? It wasn't a big deal. She needed to get back on her feet somehow, without being dragged by a man who wasn't even present to actively be ruining her life anymore.

If anything, she thought she should feel grateful. The blinding light, the stars that exploded and shone inside her only for Tony, became something poisonous and vile. It wasn't the bitter taste of regret; rather, she felt a flash of ravenous, burning anger every time his name or his face popped up in a press article within her eyesight. Love and hate weren't that different when it came to the intensity: she basked in those newfound feelings, taking care to pick apart and neatly sort each of his perceived flaws on a cute little shelf in her overtaxed brain and fatigued heart.

It wasn't healthy. A convenient escape for the summer; a cabin far, far away from the busy New York city - she took up the offer and relocated there, being content with working remotely, drinking strawberry mimosas by the lakeside. Day by day, the clarity of her mind returned, lulled into a false sense of security by the tranquil trees slowly swaying in the breeze and wide ripples in the water.

Tony seemed to be enjoying bringing chaos into her life and making her miserable. The quinjet landed right on the neatly manicured lawn in front of the cabin, several obviously exhausted and wounded superheroes dismounting the vehicle, Tony looking sheepish but determined in the lead.

She wasn't completely unaware of the rest of the world and knew of the fiasco the Avengers recently had. Was it the half-dead, limping Widow or the baby blues of the Captain, she couldn't tell, but the woman ushered them into her house, gathering the tools needed for first aid with haste. Fate wasn't looking to give her a break.

As soon as she stepped foot in the kitchen, alone, Tony was there, looking much like that time on the balcony, baby doe browns turned up to eleven and a groveling speech prepared on demand. He'd noticed her weight loss and the ashen tone of her skin, the prominent veins and the bags under her eyes. She was as obvious as a brick to the face with her vices.

She slapped him. He winced, but stayed quiet, preparing himself for the storm - and storm him she did, keeping quiet enough for most of the team to be able to tactfully ignore the scolding Tony was getting. "I despise, you, Stark. You're a coward. Do not dare to set foot in my house ever again."

Needless to say, the superheroes departed shortly after Natasha's injuries were stabilised and frowning, disappointed Thor and Steve (they'd asked her to address them by their first names) bashfully apologized for their sudden intrusion and any discomfort they might have caused. She smiled at Steve, wide and big; refusing to admit it was done just to spite Tony, she joked and blushed in response to the Captain.

Tony did not attempt to contact her again. For some time, she lived in fear - irrational one at that - he'd appear and wreck her life one more, final time, before admiring the destruction and leaving her a steaming pile of ashes on the floor. But seasons passed and all of it faded, like a vivid, terrible nightmare.

Piece by piece, her life was getting put back together. His name stopped invoking a swarm of feelings she needed to drown just to stay afloat; there were news regarding him, another violent altercation, and she simply flicked the TV back to adult swim. New friends and new hobbies were being made; the fine cracks made by his agile fingers were being filled with the gold of newer, better discoveries.

There was always something going on in the superhero world and finally one of the topics reached her line of work: mutant rights. She'd never stopped being a volunteer after that NYC invasion, making new connections in a domain previously unexplored, it paid off in spades regarding her career growth. The connections were vital to be able to climb the corporate ladder successfully.

Stark showed up at her door three days after half of his merry band of misfits were pronounced fugitives. This time, she expected it. She knew better than to expect him to assume responsibility by himself - a quick Google search and his relationship status was listed as once again single - the Virginia Potts she knew would not have let anything like that happen. Stark was on his own.

"They betrayed me," He'd said, from behind the door she had cracked open a few inches, to make him know he wasn't welcome in her home.

"I think you know now, how I felt then," She didn't falter, ignoring the way his still freshly-bruised face darkened. "As far as I am concerned, you deserve it. Goodbye, Tony." She shut the door without waiting for his response, hearing his footsteps slowly back away as she made herself another coffee.

Tony Stark taglist: @another-stark-sub @letsby @mostly-marvel-musings @rdjesus4ever @ladyeliot

Well um 💀 yeah. I'll go and attempt to scavenge some serotonin somewhere now. Thanks for reading! 💖✨