#really tall capitalist vibes

[squawk-chatterbox]

Propaganda on how to avoid propaganda I bet, it already looks like a marketing pitch, in full S.M.I.L.E. fashion.

I can’t wait for a finished version whenever that happens, I’ll be watching it day in day out for a week.

Just want to share this very quick oh you bet it not finished heh looks at camera

[allgremlinart]

you must decide. you must choose the ultimate MILF.

propaganda/MILF context under the cut

Kya I - Very brave. Died in kind of just a brutal and violent and sad way. Invisible presence of the show. Good mom, from what we can tell. Bagged absolute stud of a husband so good for her.

Ursa - What can I say ? Soap Opera Protagonist. Forced into non-consensual marriage. Killed her father in law. Loved both of her children very much but it still wasn't enough to save them. Unfulfilled stage mom. Magic Gay Grandpa.

Hei-Ran - Refers to her daughter by her military rank. Maybe killed her cousin and others in honor duels on purpose but it's kind of wishy washy. Had a thing with past avatar, new avatar ends up dating her daughter, which has got to feel kind of weird.

Lin Beifong - One of few characters in-universe with family name privileges. Not the mommy issues giver but the mommy issues haver. A cop but hey she's really hot. No social life. Miserable.

Liling - Going to give her children incredibly intense mommy issues. Capitalist. Engaged in corporate sabotage to ensure her own dominance in factory town. On like the worst possible version of an HOA. Prejudiced against own daughter.

Buttercup Raiko - One of few characters in-universe with family name privileges. Only mistake was marrying absolute cuck of a president. Barely on screen but when she was she served I can't lie.

Suyin Beifong - One of few characters in-universe with family name privileges. Kind of weird ex-hippy turned liberal mom vibes. Didn't give any of her five children mommy issues but DID give them to the ethno-nationalist with a mecha.

Kya II - Canonically lesbian. Hippie aunt. Underutilized. Shows up to beat ass and make fun of her brothers and then leaves to go smoke weed or something. Daddy issues but like they're pretty manageable, could be way worse.

Senna - Next to her husband looks about one apple tall. Long suffering mother of Avatar. Loves her daughter very much. Not really sure how she survived living with the personalities that are Korra and Tonraq but I think it has to be weed. Cute hair.

Izumi - Maybe has 30 seconds of dialogue but nonetheless present in plenty of f/f slash. The glasses are hot. We don't really know much about her besides the fact that her dad loves her very much.

Pema - Tenzin get OFF of that woman. I know she was only pregnant for like technically one season but it may as well have been the whole show. She needs to try weed and also abandon her family for a month. Low-key devious.

Tagaka - Self-titled Pirate Queen. Waterbender but also uses cool sword she stole off a dead guy just cus. Humiliates old men in front of their adoptive children. Ok so MAYBE she raids coastlines and takes prisoners/slaves from villages she plunders but she's hot when she does it.

[johaerys-writes]

15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by my dear @elveny, thank you so much!! 💙

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: No! Well, yes, after a character in Greek mythology, but not after a parent or grandparent or anything like that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday. I was reading the Iliad again for an anon ask and was going through the part where Achilles kills Hector and oooh that scene got hands 🥲 I cry a lot though, I'm a crier, and a lot of the time it's about patrochilles so it's par for the course really lol

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: I'm fairly active generally but I don't play sports at all because I don't like them. I tried several sports while in school before accepting that I simply don't like team sports and I'm not good at them, but I had much more fun with solo sports. I swam for several years somewhat competitively, and I also did track for a while. 

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: I think so? But usually only with people I'm very comfortable with, because I can never know what would go down well or not with a person I don’t know. 

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: That’s hard to answer because I feel like it depends on the situation. Most of the time, it's body language and their general vibe. Meeting new people can be nerve wracking so I try to "read" them and act accordingly, if that makes sense? I don't want to step on any toes or say the wrong thing so figuring out what the other person's mood or interests might be usually helps. But that often means I miss out on other things on first encounter, like... their eyes or smile or something?? Lol idk man, socialising while on the spectrum is hard 🥲

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: I think I'll pick scary movies because I do like horror and dark stuff and I don't care if the ending is happy or not as long the story is interesting. 

ANY TALENTS?: it took me so long to think of something for this and I honestly don't know? I'm assuming by 'talents' we mean something you're born with, not something you've worked hard at like some kind of craft, right? In that case, I think I have pretty good visual memory, especially when it comes to books and articles and such, or the written word in general. Oh and I'm weirdly good at orientation, I can usually find my way no matter where I am. Which isn't such a huge deal now in the era of google maps, but back when there was no gps it was a pretty useful skill to have haha. 

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Greece.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing, reading, gaming, crocheting, drawing, going to museums! I'm constantly on the look out for new exhibitions and stuff, it's my favourite thing in the world to do. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: A darling and dastardly cat, aka my extension when I'm at home. 

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 1,68m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: Oh god I freaking hated school, absolutely hated it LOL I can't think of one thing I liked in it. I guess I only enjoyed the very last year of high school when I was preparing for the Panhellenic exams because like... it felt like there was finally some kind of purpose or reason to be there at all, even though there was a lot of pressure. I loved Ancient Greek, Latin, History and Philosophy. 

DREAM JOB?: I don't have one, I don’t dream of labour 🙃 I don't think there's any sort of job anyone could do in this capitalist hellscape we're all currently living in that would be enjoyable enough to make up for, well... living in a capitalist hellscape lol. If I could, I'd just go back to uni, probably. That was my happy place and I miss it. And I'd also write a bunch and read a bunch and take up all sorts of creative hobbies, and probably travel more. 

Tagging forth to a bit more than 15 friends lol sorry (and I know I'm forgetting ppl): @baejax-the-great @thiefylilelf @vimlos @mogwaei @gloriesunsung @aymayzing @cordelia---rose @knicknocknick @aristi-achaion @peachandfig @heypax @darlingpoppet @tevivinter @mary-aries @tragediegh @pikapeppa @figsandphiltatos always with love and without any pressure 💕

[bleedinginkxiii]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Tagged by @yuniemaki ☺️

1. are you named after anyone?

nope! My name was chosen entirely based on whether my grandparents could pronounce it (and they can. sort of)

2. when was the last time you cried?

I don't cry much, but watching Graduation Trip after finishing Chapter 38 of Honkai Impact 3rd really got me in the feels 😭

3. do you have kids?

I have one bratty dog and I love her evil sassy little butt

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

sarcasm is practically my default tone of voice irl tbh

5,  what sports do you play/have played

got into an argument recently about whether it counts as a "sport" but I rock climb/boulder indoors frequently (and it TOTALLY counts as a sport imo) Otherwise I had a pingpong phase back in highschool

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

physically, their hair/outfit. psychologically(?), their mood/vibe

7. what's your eye color

Dark brown

8. scary movies or happy endings

both?? I love horror, but I hate jump scares (cheap tactic) I need the kind of horror that keeps me awake at night and changes my fundamental views on reality. And happy endings (even after a scary movie) are cathartic and maybe this is cheesy but I'm at the point in life where I appreciate the simple, happy things

10. where were you born?

New York, the place mentioned in that one song by Alicia Keys

9. any special talents

my ability to hyperfixate and listen to the same song on loop for days/weeks/months on end is honestly a superpower

11. what are your hobbies?

ah, I have so many and I cycle between them by the week: drawing, writing, gaming, game dev, rock climbing, playing TTRPGs (as both a player and recently, a GM), 3D printing, and the newest one - learning bass! If anyone shares an interest or wants to know more about any of them, reply to this post or shoot me a DM :)

12. do you have pets?

*points at question 3* I live with 2 dogs and am auntie to 4 more!

13.  how tall are you?

5'6" or 166-167cm

14. favorite subject in school?

Art, lit and biology, I slept through just about everything else haha

15,  dream job?

Need a rich woman to sponsor my shenanigans. Like a...creatively inclined sugar baby? Is that a thing? I wanna make whatever cool shit I please and just get paid/funded to do it. This month? A 3D printed sword prop from [insert game/anime]. Next month? 100k fic of sapphic angst, pining, and adventure. After that? Who knows! I just want to live comfortably and create. (Instead I am getting my soul sucked out by the tech industry in this capitalist hellhole 😔)

tossing this at some moots @atonemeint @ohmeadows @frozenabattoir @kokoro--attack @cariykon @rachasakawa @theblackwolfalpha @psykzz @canadianwheatpirates @trixdraws

[theplottdump]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

are you named after anyone? Anne of Green Gables

when was the last time you cried? I scream cry once a month when the moon is highest and my feelings are the explodiest.

do you have kids? I like money

do you use sarcasm a lot? Most of this post will be sarcasm

what sports do you play/have you played? I like roller skating! But I'm not a sports person. Old Sport.

what’s the first thing you notice about other people? Vibes.

eye colour? Brown

scary movies or happy endings? Once in a while, when the moon is at it's peak, after I have done my monthly scream cry I'll watch a ton on rom coms. Like really bad ones. And some good ones. I prefer to watch scary video games on youtube or have someone explain to me why a movie is scary in an in depth video essay.

any special talents? half assing questionnaires on tumblr

where were you born? LA Baybee

what are your hobbies? Writing, 3D modeling, texturing, dungeons and dragons, drinking the tears of my readers

do you have any pets? Two Cats, one tells truths, the other is the antichrist

how tall are you? 5'10"

fave subject in school? Art and English

dream job? One day I will sink into the ground and become a worm, successfully freeing myself from the capitalist expectations of modern society.

Thanks for the tag, @armoricaroyalty !

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Tagged by @stocious @mikhailoisbaby and @creepkinginc for the ask game!

are you named after anyone? Technically no, but if my aunt would have had a girl instead of a boy then she would've named her baby my name, after she had a boy my mom asked if she could use the girl name for me.

when was the last time you cried?

When a daughter of a patient commented on how much her mom loves me and how much she loves me for taking care of her mom.

do you have kids?

fur babies, dog and a cat. Skinfants not yet, though I do want at least one, preferably two.

It feels like a neverending wait though.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes. Actually for the first couple months some new coworkers started they didn't know my brand of humor and they just thought I didn't like them.

what sports do you play/have you played?

As a kid I played softball, basketball, soccer when I was like 5.

I am looking to start moving my body in ways I enjoy. I like to swim, so I'm gearing to start doing that.

There are a couple fitness classes I was wanting to observe and try, aerial silks and pole dancing.

We have a local trampoline park too which makes me think of @suzy-queued

Also kinda want to strength train because I feel super weak half the time.

what's the first thing you notice about other people?

Their vibe and tattoos.

eye colour?

blue

scary movies or happy endings?

Happy Endings 10000% I don't like scary movies or thrillers. Action and adventure? Sure give me 2012 and the MCU movies. But like Saw? Hell no.

My husband had the Saw marathon last weekend and it was freaking me the fuck out.

any special talents?

I have been told I give really good hugs.

And I can mimic the way people talk very well.

I'll freak out coworkers impersonating residents and make them look around for them.

And party planning, the baby showers I throw are fucking awesome.

where were you born?

Kansas in the USA

what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, crafting.

do you have any pets?

Smush and Floof aka English Bulldog and fluffy black cat.

how tall are you?

five foot four

fave subject in school?

psychology

dream job?

I don't dream of capitalist labor.

Fantasy future I don't have to work and I have enough serotonin and dopamine to balance my crafts, cleaning, and family time.

BUT

seeing as we don't play the lottery

Being a stay at home mom.

I'll taaaaag @ian-galagher @suzy-queued @xninetiestrendx and @gallawitchxx

[absentlyabbie]

may as well throw a few into the ring:

The Goblin Emperor (Katharine Addison) - this little dude is the unwanted half-goblin bastard son of the emperor and has been stashed very "out of sight out of mind" with an asshole for a caretaker pretty much all his life. his shit dad and the three legitimate heirboys to the throne all unexpectedly kick it, leaving the court aghast to discover oh no, the embarrassing half-goblin bastard is the freaking EMPEROR now? he's just a kiddo with a shitload of anxiety and trauma who is socially awkward and now has to rule an entire empire while a lot of people try to manipulate, bully, use, and backstab him. fortunately, there are some not-shit folks around too while he figures himself out, learns to stand tall (he a literal short king tho), investigates his estranged family's murders, deals with politics, and maybe realizes he's been a worthy person all along and can be a good ruler to his people.

Sunshine (Robin McKinley) - vampires! alternate world not unlike our own, and our family-bakery protagonist gets herself caught up with vampires (mostly truly horrible and ghastly and gross) and magical-governing agencies when she just wants to bake her cinnamon-rolls-as-big-as-your-head and try a new chocolate cupcake recipe. family secrets drama, hidden magic drama, romantic drama with a really lovely and chill boyfriend but also a bizarre and not-as-gross vampire. neil gaiman endorsed this one when it was new, if that tells you about the kind of weird, dark, and very rich atmosphere it has.

Villains duology (Vicious and Vengeful) (V E Schwab) - the bad guys are kind of the good guys, but not in a leverage way because they're definitely bad guys and damn is victor vale an asshole. eli ever is just a much bigger, worse, more sanctimonious asshole who styles his serial killings as heroic. (bizarre ex-bffs but shit went bad between them in college and really spiraled from there.) superpowers, ace protagonist, homoerotic tension, absolute bastards, more found family than you can shake a stick at, action and clever plotting abound. listen to "put it on me" by matt maeson for a preview of The Vibes.

The Murderbot Diaries (Martha Wells) - the mortifying ordeal of being known, triple aaa style (agender, asexual, aromantic.) murderbot just wants to watch its favorite shows and not be perceived, but unfortunately it's really good at helping people, mostly because it stumbled onto some unexpectedly decent ones it kinda would prefer alive, and humans are so damn bad at doing their own security it's downright embarrassing. our hero is a robot-human construct trapped in a capitalist hellscape in far-future space and solves mysteries, is hilarious (inside its own head mostly), kicks a lot of ass, and very reluctantly explores what this whole autonomous personhood deal is about while trying to deal with trauma and depression without actually having to admit it.

The Sixth World duology (Rebecca Roanhorse) - indigenous amercian myth and magic in a post-apocalyptic urban fantasy series in which most of the world is underwater now and our heroine deals with magic, murder, making friends and also enemies, and some gods who are definitely not to be trusted. there is romance and it matters, but the plot and worldbuilding rides lead.

Magic for Liars (Sarah Gailey) - the unspecial twin watched her sister turn out to be a magical teen superstar, go away to magical adventure school, and grow up to be famous and beloved and teach at her alma mater. the sisters grew apart until they became estranged adults, with the unspecial sister becoming a depressed private investigator--who is now being hired to investigate a murder at her sister's magical school. family tension, mystery, flawed characters muddling through their messy selves and lives, some romance, and lively worldbuilding. for the ones who loved things like harry potter but grew up to see where it tarnishes.

Fourth Wing (Rebecca Yarros) - the younger daughter of this fantasy country's intimidating general is forced into the dragon-riding side of the military's academy by aforementioned mother, despite that she is small, a little prone to being sickly, and has a disability that will make things much harder on her in this grueling setting where most of the students don't survive the first year. she thrives unexpectedly by utilizing her own strengths, refusing to twist into the sort of vicious shapes she's told are her best chance of survival, makes diehard friends, and navigates an alarming amount of tension of many kinds with the most badass young man at the academy--who happens to hate her because her mother killed his father for leading a rebellion. dragons and magic and action and politics and character development, oh my. more than a little romance, done well, and several queer characters.

The Stand-In (Lily Chu) - freshly fired by an extremely shitty boss, our canadian lady lead gets caught up in a whirlwind of shenanigans when a world-famous chinese actress she just so happens to look a lot like (like... a lot like) ropes her into being her double because she just has too damn many things on her plate and she's dealing with some shit. the money is good, the starlet's boyfriend is hot, if unfortunately a jerk who actively distrusts her, and this will be just what she needs to figure out what to do with her life now that her former career is over. what could go wrong? no one will ever realize she's someone else entirely, and there's obviously no danger of getting involved with the boyfriend when he's so suspicious of her and unfriendly... right? at least the starlet is nice! maybe they'll even become friends.

The City Between series ( W R Gingell) - our australian protagonist has been squatting long-term in the house her parents were brutally murdered in as a child and is dead-set on never leaving. this becomes rather challenging when a gruesome and bizarre murder occurs across the street and three highly suspicious dudes who seem not-exactly-human buy the house she's been living in all this time. turns out they are in fact not human at all, and when they discover her, she can either die, or get mindwiped and kicked out... or talk them into taking her on as their sunshine-perky human pet who happens to be a great cook and make excellent tea. there's a lot more to the world than Pet ever realized (actual layers, in fact), and she seems to be weirdly good at navigating it, which complicates the three dudes' murder investigation which crosses into magic, elven royal politics, werewolves, ghosts, and zombies, not to mention the vampire who refuses to speak anything but his native korean living in her house and pestering the daylights out of her. and the deeper she gets into all this, the more Pet starts to think it all connects back to her own parents' deaths. there's a great deal of complex urban fantasy worldbuilding, found family, fascinating magic systems, humor, friendship, mystery--and rather more action than you might expect, some of it rather brutal. this series is a helluva ride.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots) - our heroine (lol) here is a temp/floating henchperson for the local villainous community. it's not ideology, she's just trying to keep rent paid and have food around semi-regularly. a pretty routine temp assignment goes horribly wrong when it puts her on the wrong end of a superhero/villain showdown, leaving her with a permanent injury and a growing fury over the massive collateral damage the so-called heroes do to property and bystanders alike. the power of grudge-driven spreadsheets gets her recruited by the most terrifying villain alive, who happens to be the best boss she's ever had, and a new and dangerous purpose. she might actually save the world a little, though.

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

[multimoth]

⭐

send a " ⭐ " and I will list muses I would be interested in throwing at yours!

SHEOGORATH & BIG BAD

Sheo exists perpetually in the camp of 'do whatever is funniest' and by 'whatever is funniest' he usually means 'whatever will cause the most wide-scale destruction' so I think he'd love to back Big Bad. Like yeah maybe we SHOULD be going around knocking over houses. SOMEBODY'S got to reintroduce those pigs to the food chain

SNUFKIN & ANIMAL

One of my favorite Snufkin traits is that he's a musician who really, really struggles to write music if he isn't in the Perfect Environment for it i.e. it's got to be completely quiet and he has to be entirely alone to focus... so a collab with Animal would be his worst nightmare. But at least he'd try to be polite about it.

MOUSE & TIMON

He's got prime real estate over there and it's her wildest dream to become a landlord but at the end of the day she's like three inches tall so what's she really going to do about it. Be annoying I guess. Outside of her capitalistic ventures though she'd probably vibe with his mindset the most out of anybody.

other options: marvin & pin (alien solidarity), nick valentine & walter wolf (old man solidarity), snufkin & fawn (i just think it'd be wholesome)

[killrqueen7]

A list of my Comfort Characters ranked by how ✨immaculate✨ their vibes are:

Ser Brienne of Tarth (Game of Thrones): The Most immaculate vibes. There is not a single thing wrong with this woman. And don’t say “her appearance” because I like that too. She’s tall. She’s loyal. She’s protective. She’s honorable. I would trust her with my life. I fantasize about being carried by her like a princess daily. Literally her only flaw is falling in love with Jaime Lannister.

Seong Gi-Hun (Squid Game): Literally the kindest eyes and the warmest smile I’ve ever seen. The man is a walking green flag. Kind to animals, women, and the elderly, even at his own expense. I would trust him with my drink at a party and my life in a capitalist murder arena. Gives off very good vibes. Mom Friend™️. Started a strike and I think that’s very sexy of him. Ranked second because he did steal from his mother, isn’t entirely present as a dad, and tried to fool an old dude at life-or-death marbles which all seems really bad out of context but…he’s Trying. He’s doing his best. Given the circumstances, struggles with mental illness and past trauma, he’s doing great.

Dean Winchester (Supernatural): Baby boy, plain and simple. He simply deserved better. Not only would I trust him with my life, but I would willingly give my life for him. Mans does so much for other people and gets very little to nothing back. He believes that he doesn’t deserve good things but I want to show him he does. I’ve cried about him on multiple occasions. I see myself a lot in him so loving him is basically self care. Ranked third because he’s definitely a serial killer and sometimes he’s Not Very Nice to people he loves.

Tony Stark (Marvel): The man is a hero. He faced his worst fears with crippling PTSD and panic disorder and still saved the world. You might say I have Daddy Issues but I would absolutely do anything to be part of his found family. He deserved a better ending, after everything he went through, which is why I choose to believe that he’s still alive. He’s got a big heart and would do anything to protect what he loves. Ranked last because he’s a billionaire and that’s unfortunately Unforgivable to me.

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that���s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

[herosplatling-replica]

so i ended up deciding here was a good spot to start talking more about my art! directors cut commentary under the cut

this art piece was admittedly a lot of fun. i think i finished this in a haze in about an hour and a half, tops? i can't remember. i do remember though that i wanted the parallels to be so clear to people that didn't even know about this game, though.

i, personally, fucking hate edega. he's a capitalistic misogynistic bastard that's blatantly ignoring the law to do whatever the fuck he wants. but, he's a supremely compelling character. i don't LIKE him, but he intrigues me. he's a very complex guy and i feel like we barely know anything about him - hell, we barely found out he has a cat last winter bc of official art.

Inny on the other hand is pretty much a direct foil to edega. they're optimistic, nervous, emotional, and wanting to do nothing more than to help people. edega is seen and comes across as this emotionally distant, closed off, and direct person. inny's the new face, and edega's the boss.

however, i feel like there's more to it than just that. like, both The Intern in game canonically we don't know what they look like. we don't know what edega's face looks like. we don't even know how The Intern in game is moving around, just that they don't seem to have legs and are "just a finger." it feels like, to me, that it's something that's sort of indicative of how the workers at middlesea are treated.

everyone's got some sort of thing hiding their face. ada and ian their glasses, janitor his mask. we don't even see the nurse (though granted this may be purely bc jyi sim voiced both the nurse and ada in the mandarin chinese stuff) but we know that she's there and doing practically every job under the sun. i think that the parallel of never really getting the full picture is present here

a big motif i have with inny is the hands. inny's hands are how they communicate, how they talk to the people around them, since they don't have a voice. since the beginning the imagery of "helping hands" had always been stuck to me, and it had just been something i wanted to carry onto inny even when i was visualizing their design for the first time.

from the start they've always had this hand imagery following them around, and it's honestly one of my favorite things to draw with them. at one point im gonna have an art piece with the patient hands grabbing onto inny's monitor but that's a tall task that needs at least two adderalls. but regardless!

inny's hand outstretched to edega's - it's i suppose an effort to make contact. to communicate. they know there must be a reason for edega to be doing all of this stuff, and it really shows in 5-2N, but they can't find out until he tells them. edega's got this sort of vibe about him that he can only count on himself, and nobody else can really help him out with things. to me, inny would see that, see how he closes himself off, and just feel conflicted about it. they'd want to do something. but it's not always that simple.

it's never simple - edega's hand is clenched tightly closed. closing himself off. distancing himself. inny is crossing the barrier between them, reaching out, and edega's sort of retreating. behind the clipboard, behind the duties of head doctor. there's a lot to be said about that sort of thing.

we don't see him doing anything ourselves, but 5-2N having the medical notes darting all over the screen, handling the medications, the recommended stretches and exercises, it at least shows that he knows what he's doing. the problem is how he's going about it.

edega's a wall, and inny's an open book. it's a very clashing dynamic, and if inny were to have the voice to express it, they would have so goddamn much to say to him. mostly "are you okay" being at the top of the list.

cause yeah, edega's an asshole. but edega's the most the team has at the moment, and edega's only focus is perfecting the rhythm defibrillator to handle everything when it was meant for a single purpose, as mentioned in 5-2N's tutorial. it was meant only for correcting irregular heart rhythms. it's not supposed to be a magic fix-all

i just have a lot of thoughts about Edega. i study him under a microscope because he fascinates me but i also need to push him down some stairs

narrative foils

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums, I finally explain the deal with that record you’ve seen in the background of these videos, with those dudes working in the office. These dudes used to be in the Human League! Oh, and they really hate fascism. Full transcript of the video after the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be looking at the debut album of Heaven 17: 1981’s Penthouse & Pavement. While you may not be familiar with Heaven 17, chances are pretty good that if you know your Western pop, you’ve heard of the Human League! Before forming Heaven 17, Ian Craig Marsh and Martyn Ware were members of the Human League--and they were also the band’s creative core. But they had a very different artistic vision, and one that doesn’t exactly prefigure the success of hits like “Don’t You Want Me.”

Music: “Being Boiled”

Between its plodding electronics and inscrutable lyricism, “Being Boiled” is pretty far from a pop hit. When Marsh and Ware left the Human League, they were keen to continue pursuing this sort of underground, experimental, quasi-industrial direction. Initially, the two of them formed the British Electronic Foundation, or “B.E.F.” It was chiefly a production company that worked with other artists, though they also released some instrumental music under this name. With the recruitment of vocalist Glenn Gregory, who Marsh and Ware had initially intended to front the Human League in the first place, they were set to get right back into the groove of what they had been up to before.

Music: “Fascist Groove Thang”

“Fascist Groove Thang” is the opening track of Penthouse & Pavement, and was one of its chief singles. While it’s much less ambiguous than “Being Boiled,” and much easier to dance to, it’s still got a lot of that subversive, underground charm--enough to get banned by the BBC, anyway. I know they always say that history rhymes, but it’s one of those songs from this era that really feels like it belongs more in our time than the one it came from. I like to think that its unforgettable chorus sounds more like a chant you might hear at a protest march, as opposed to something that belongs in a proper song. “Fascist Groove Thang” is actually based on an instrumental track by BEF, which was simply called “Groove Thang” before being reworked into this political anthem. Both versions are indeed pretty groovy, thanks in large part to the bass guitar work of session musician John Wilson. Compared to their work with the Human League, Penthouse & Pavement has an overall richer sonic palate, with more of those traditional instruments, as well as backing vocals. You’ll hear a lot of those on the album’s title track:

Music: “Penthouse & Pavement”

Penthouse & Pavement’s title track is the longest track on the album, clocking in at over six minutes. Between that, the lush instrumentation, and the honour of being the title track, it certainly feels like an anti-capitalist epic, dramatizing and dignifying the inner thoughts of a common wage-slave. The first side of the album, dubbed the “Pavement Side,” is where you’ll find both of these tracks, and it seems to deal chiefly with working-class struggles, as well as having a bigger emphasis on that bass-heavy groove, musically. Naturally, then, the flip is the “Penthouse Side,” it’s more melodic, and it seems to focus more on the lives of the rich and famous...though it isn’t quite that straightforward.

Music: “We’re Going To Live For a Very Long Time”

“We’re Going To Live For a Very Long Time” is perhaps the clearest expression of the idea of the upper classes living in their own protected bubble, shielded from plebeian woes. There’s a religious dimension to it, in that the narrator manages to live without worries because of their assuredness that Heaven awaits them when they die...but, as the title reminds us, they’re also confident that Earth will be good to them, as well. In case you were worried this message might not be ironic, the song actually stops abruptly in the middle of its final refrain, providing a sudden end for that narrator--as well as closing out the entire LP with a bang, since this is the final track! The idea of the wealthy actively taunting those beneath them is also central to the most rhythmic track of the Penthouse Side, “The Height of the Fighting.”

Music: “The Height of the Fighting”

In “The Height of the Fighting,” that march-like chanting takes center stage again, but it feels very different here. Rather than embodying a sort of grassroots resistance to the consolidation of power, “The Height of the Fighting” seems to be the voice of authority and power coming downwards, fitting the theme of the Penthouse Side. The song’s assertions, like “if you can’t take it, fake it” and “they sent you to it, do it” could be interpreted as pithy, meaningless sayings--perhaps throwaway lyrics, taking up space on a single aimed squarely at the dance floor. However, if you know the context of the Penthouse Side, it’s hard not to see them as representations of the worthless advice the rich often give the poor. Get a job. Get a side hustle. Work harder. Eat out less. And so on. Much like the implicit messages about class in popular culture, “The Height of the Fighting” might seem disposable, but the thrust of what it’s saying is actually deeply warped. Another complex, and perhaps conflicted, track on the Penthouse Side is “Let’s All Make a Bomb”:

Music: “Let’s All Make a Bomb”

Songs against nuclear war were commonplace in Cold War-era music, but “Let’s All Make a Bomb” isn’t quite a typical example. At first, its slow pace and despondent melody make us think we’re getting the usual fare. But the return of that swelling, chant-like refrain style, as well as a closer inspection of the lyrics, reveal otherwise. As the title might imply, “Let’s All Make a Bomb” asks us what kind of character is actually crazy enough to *want* nuclear war, and the character Heaven 17 have chosen is a hedonistic libertine, who sees the end of the world as one big party. The atomic bomb is not a thing to be feared, but “a brand new toy, to idolize.” As dark as that is, the fact that it’s also part of the Penthouse Side, and ostensibly a representation of what those who hold influence and power believe, adds a whole new level of horror to it.

While I love album art, and my interest in it is the main reason I started collecting vintage vinyl, I think [the cover of Penthouse & Pavement just might be my favourite of all time. Penthouse & Pavement’s cover portrays the three members of Heaven 17 as though they were businessmen, co-opting motives like glass-paneled skyscrapers and the deal-making handshake straight from the 1980s corporate visual lexicon. They've even got cities they're allegedly based out of, one of which is their native Sheffield, England. If you look closely, there are a few hints that they’re actually a music band and not a firm, such as the reel-to-reel tape player in the upper right-hand corner, and the fact that in the lower left-hand corner, Martyn Ware is writing music in front of a keyboard. At the bottom, we also find the logo of B.E.F., which brings this grand “joke” full circle. As the “British Electronic Foundation,” they had also billed themselves as a faceless organisation, adopting a name that sounds more at home on a utility bill than an album cover. Here, the trio have done it again, in a bit of ruthless satire towards the rising “yuppie” culture of the 80s. Incidentally, the cover art is a traditional painting, credited to one Ray Smith. It wasn't unusual to commission paintings for album art at the time, but it does tickle me knowing a human being physically painted Heaven 17 as office workers. If the original ever came up for auction, I'd probably shell out for it. It would look great in my office!

Anyway, it’s also worth mentioning how the title “Penthouse & Pavement” adds to that corporate theme. The X-and-Y format recalls the names of many real-life firms and companies, such as Ernst & Young. A “penthouse” is an apartment located very high up in a tall, urban building. Such apartments are usually expensive, and are hence occupied by well-off tenants. “Pavement,” in this context, probably refers to what Americans call the “sidewalk,” the paved pathways where the less fortunate among us might walk past those penthouses, without ever getting too close. Each side functions as an ideal symbol of the kind of people it represents, and the physical gap between them is a visceral representation of economic inequality. The title is also quite pleasingly alliterative!

While Penthouse & Pavement maintains a certain underground integrity, which is consistent with Marsh and Ware’s track record as part of the Human League, it’s still much more of a pop record than anything they had done before. Heaven 17 never went quite as pop as the Human League did without them, and they certainly never saw the same level of mainstream success, but they did pursue an increasingly pop direction with their next several releases. Their 1983 followup, The Luxury Gap, delivers less of that hard-hitting critique of capital, but did produce some of their best-known singles, namely, “Temptation” and “Let Me Go.”

Music: “Let Me Go”

My favourite track on Penthouse & Pavement is “Geisha Boys & Temple Girls.” I like this track’s overall mysterious, otherworldly vibe--it’s not terribly easy to pin down what it’s really about, or what sort of mood it’s meant to convey. The intro to this song sounds more like Karlheinz Stockhausen than something you would hear in pop, and I love how strident and abrasive it is. Given its place as the opening track of the Penthouse Side, and its opening line, “look ahead, on the screen,” I’m tempted to interpret it as a representation of a fictional romance in television or film. It’s dramatic, unpredictable, exotic, and also completely fake and divorced from how people behave in the real world. The idea that entertainments and diversions are part of what shelters the rich from the consequences of their actions is another one of those things that makes this album continue to feel relevant. That’s all I have for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Geisha Boys & Temple Girls”

[autisticburnham]

Past Tense Parts 1 & 2

Boy, rewatching this in 2020's gonna probably be a fucking trip

Trill has purple seas and Bajor has green ones???

They really named a Ferengi Belongo, huh?

Quark looks so fucking floored that Ben knows the Rules of Acquisition

Christ, forgot the cops wake Benjamin by pushing a gun into his shoulder

The dude thinks Ben and Julian are wearing matching pajamas. He thinks they're a couple

Business Man really almost walks past Jadzia

I know literally everyone who reviews this episode comments on this, but definitely not a coincidence that the men of color immediately get arrested while the white woman gets whisked away into some high class fantasy

2020 does definitely highlight how crowded and underfunded the sanctuary districts are, not to mention the fact that I seriously doubt they get any medical care, just how quickly disease could kill all these people and how little anyone would care

Business Man, you're white as fuck, you having a Maori tattoo isn't impressive, it's gross

Discount? I wish I could say government databases charging government employees for running searches and giving them ads was surprising

This guy sitting next to Ben is so sad he won't let him draw on him

Welcome to beurceacy, Julian

Christ, the cop is so condescending

Uncle, doesn't this Gabriel Bell hu-man look exactly like Captain Sisko?

Oh, Benjamin, I wish riots did start a watershed moment in history

I like to think that more than Benjamin being a history buff, Bell is one of his personal heroes

"Benjamin "power stance" Sisko triple dog darring this dmv worker to call them out for writing their birthdays 300 years in the future" @jvlianbashir 's post lives in my mind rent free

Gross that this lady is like "oh, you're not mentally ill? Well, then, I'm so sorry for not treating you like people"

"It's not that they don't give a damn, they've just given up. The social problems they face seem too enormous to deal with" that may be sharply resonant with the average person, Ben, but it's starkly clear that the people in power do genuinely not give a damn

You know what? I'm actually thrilled that disco is exploring exactly Julian's question as to whether or not humanity has really changed and how the Federation would react to a devastating crisis. Like, I know that that's ds9's whole theme as well, but it's going to be so fucking nice to have a hopeful Star Trek message about the future during this fucking year

Love Julian immediately trying to throw hands with Hat Man for beating someone up

I feel like there's a not so subtle element of racist assholery to Hat Man sarcastically asking "Oh, have we done something to offend you?" abt beating the dude up

Julian, you are too tall to sleep width wise in this alley

Controversial opinion, but Julian's homeless trash is the best outfit he wears

The sanctuary districts existing at all is disgusting, but the fact that there are babies here is horrific

Hell, yeah, dude! Class solidarity!

Christ, the hard cut from the sanctuary district to the business party isn't subtle at all

Those protests in France are undoubtedly a good thing, Business Lady

Granted, I'm white, so I could totally be out of line here, but I actually like that two of the Business People are poc, and that they're just as much privileged assholes as the rest of the Business People. I feel like despite the implications of institutionalized racism with Ben and Julian immediately being arrested, this helps subtly showcase that a very large part of the problem is capitalism bc there's not solidarity between poc if that lack of solidarity can help some of them get rich

Love Julian's tos style double fist punch

Fucking gross that they know that the government killing thousands of sanctuary city districts residents will mean absolutely nothing if the government can "justify" it with the death of like 5 government employees

I love how charmed Miles is by Nerys wanting to yell at Starfleet

"Right now, this ship is all that's left of Starfleet" the disco writers really like this episode, huh?

Class Solidarity Guy's kid just said that this whole thing started bc a guard got in a fight with a dim. Of course it's the fucking cops that escalated the situation in the first place

Of course white ass Hat Man is just trying to personally benefit himself rather than help all of the people here and also has no problem escalating the violence

I don't like Hat Man, but I do like his line "Why do they sound so surprised? You treat people like animals, you're gonna get bit!"

Of course Business Man is friends with cops

I broke my nose...

The solution isn't to get everyone jobs, it's to make it so that having a job isn't a requirement to be treated like a human being

Cop, you're a huge part of the problem for so many fucking reasons, not the least of which is your being a class traitor

"In the interest of friendship," I'll allow 10,000 people to be fed

Ds9 is largely good abt criticizing capitalism, but I do dislike the "I don't want to rely on handouts! Give me the right to work myself to death"

Listen, I know DMV Lady is trapped in the capitalist system as much as anyone else and that if she tried to help more people, she'd probably end up in a sanctuary district herself, but. Her story about helping that one lady gives me Slitheen DoctorWho "I spare one person every now and then so that I can convince myself I'm a not a monster for murdering millions" vibes

I do fucking love her "Everybody tells themself that, and nothing ever changes" in response to Julian telling her it's not her fault tho

✌🌼

Well, their dad shouldn't have been a class traitor then, Bernardo

"Change takes time" "You've run out of time" Tell her, Ben!

Jadzia Dax, coming out of her sewer to shame mankind

Gross that Hat Man is coming on to Jadzia despite how uncomfortable she obviously is and doesn't stop until he realizes she's "with" Julian

Can you imagine if Jadzia had gotten hurt here? Imagine you're a doctor getting ready for surgery and you find a giant slug in a woman

Idk why, but "Invisible" Man gives me Neelix vibes

I do like how Julian and Jadzia work with the frame he understands and just ask him to give the combadge back. "Shockingly," treating him like he's a valid person makes him agreeable

Business Man, you're rich enough that breaking the law won't even mean shit for you

Christ. "The public are starting to view them as people! We have to kill them all now before it gets any worse!"

I like the cop making fun of Julian for liking tennis

Aw, I forgot Class Solidarity Guy died

Forget matching uniforms, Benjamin's actual pajamas are gay culture

"How could they have let things get so bad" 🙃

Groundbreaking, lifechanging, whatever the rest of that Lady Gaga quote is. 100/10

[pazzodiamante]

Oldest, Middle, Or Youngest Child?

Haikyuu edition

Akaashi

Middle child

He just raidiates younger sibling vibes man

But the fact that he handles Bokuto so perfectly makes me think that he HAS to have a younger sibling

He has an older brother who’s away for college and a younger brother who he adores

He’s not that close to his older brother anymore but back when they were, you could always catch them play fighting and laughing till tears came out their eyes

His brother going away for college changed him a lot. He was never the type of person who was exited all the time and and he sure as hell didn’t have a kind smile on his face as often as others, but when his brother was around he often appeared to be in a good mood and much more open. He became more quiet and picked up a resting bitch face that made him look bored all the time a few months after his brother left, he slowly distanced himself from people and kept more quiet to and himself too

He’s really close to his younger brother though, he’s in junior high. They play video games together, ride bikes at the park, watch horror movies together, and a bunch of other stuff. Akaashi always makes time for him, always

If their mom happens to be working late, Akaashi picks up food for the three of them once he heads home so they can eat since she won’t be cooking for them and Akaashi can’t cook for shit. They eat their food in peace in the living room watching tv and enjoying each other’s company

Sometimes if they both happen to be up early in the morning on a weekend with no school and no work to do, they’ll make breakfast, chill on couch, put on some cartoons, and eat whatever they made in a comfortable silence

Kyoutani

Middle child

His three older siblings already graduated high school and one passed college too, his two younger siblings are in high school and in elementary school

His oldest sibling is the only boy aside from himself, he’s 25. He doesn’t live with them but he comes home a lot since their house is pretty big and he has a room there. They get along fine, Kyou’s relationship with him is similar to his with Iwa’s but he’s much more closer to his brother and he has more fun with him since they grew up together

The second oldest is his eldest sister who is 23 and in law school. She’s usually very busy with trying to deal with school, work, family, and friends at the same time so they don’t interact that often but when they do it’s peaceful and fun. She’s the most mature of them all so she’s the one that stops the fights and takes responsibility when she has to

The other middle child, or the third oldest, is his older sister who is 19 and in college. She works at a restaurant near his school so sometimes after practice he’ll go there to eat and do his homework. Her girlfriend works there too so Kyoutani and her end up talking a lot and he knows a few other employees thanks to his sister and her girlfriend

His younger sister, who is a first year and one year younger than him, is his resident pain in the ass. He argues with her the most but he would never go as far as to actually hit her, he knows that he’s pretty strong and the only ones who could actually take it are his brother and older sister (19 year old one) since the three of them are the only ones who work out and have played sports before. They’re both pretty similar in a lot of ways so there are times where they get along and have the time of their lives

His youngest sibling and the baby of the family is Rika, she’s 7. She is literally the only sibling Seijou knows the name of, Kyoutani doesn’t talk about his personal life much but she’s the only one he’s actually called by name when talking about her, the rest get names like “My sister”, “Assjack 1”, “Assjack 2”, and “Assjack 3”

He gets along with sister 2 best but sister 3 least. He likes the other two just fine and Rika favors him, something he likes to rub in his brothers face

Fun fact: his eldest siblings actually share different fathers than the rest but the same between each other, none of them actually like him so they never bring him up. That’s also one of the reasons as to why they treat Kyou’s dad like their actual father

I’m working on some Kyoutani headcanons so I’ll write more about them there :)

Matsukawa

Oldest child

He has a younger sister who’s not even in junior high yet, she’s babey

She’s also his human alarm clock

Matsukawa absolutely hates waking up early in the morning, he would sleep in until 12 everyday if he had the chance and he does on holidays

So since his actual phone alarms are useless (he just keeps pressing snooze and never actually stops them and get up), Hanamaki and Mattsun’s little sister have taken it up to themselves to wake him up

Hanamaki is up much earlier so by the time Mattsun’s alarms start ringing, Makki is eating breakfast peacefully. When he’s done he’ll just walk 5 minutes to Mattsun’s house, climb a tree that’s right next to Mattsun’s window so he can get in through there without waking anyone else up, and attack him with pillows until he wakes up and starts getting ready

When it’s not Hanamaki waking him up but his little sister instead, she’ll go in his room with two pans and start smashing them together while yelling “GET UP BIGFOOT!!!”. What a way to wake up amiright, instant panic and confusion the moment you process the sounds. She only does that when it’s only them two together though so she doesn’t wake anyone else up and the reason why she’s up so early is because she watches morning cartoons and eats whatever breakfast their mom left them

Mattsun loves tickling her to death, they play around so much you wouldn’t even think it’s actually Mattsun and not some secret twin of his who is much more happy and cheerful than he is

She’s so smol and loves having Mattsun lift her up with one hand and have her be taller than him by lifting his hand straight up, their cealing is pretty tall so he doesn’t have to worry about his arm touching the ceiling or his sister hitting her head while he’s lifting her up

Aside from “Bigfoot”, she likes to call him “Mountain man”, “Uvo’s son” (he’s from hxh and he’s tall as hell bruh), and “Cupcake” for some reason. Mattsun guesses that she calls him that because Makki calls him “My chocolate cupcake” jokingly sometimes and she’s been around a few times when he has

Mattsun would kill a man for her no question about it

Futakuchi

Oldest child

He has an 13 year old little sister who he is very protective of

They argue so much though it’s unreal

She often kicks his knees when she’s mad at him since he’s too tall for her to reach his face

She gets most of her roasting material from him and Moniwa prays for the child whenever he remembers (he’s been to his house before so he knows)

Aone once told him “She’s a lot like you” and Futakuchi has never been so offended in his life, he couldn’t even find the right words for that he just made disgusted noises

He’s just like that, acts like a dick a lot but he would do anything for her except wash the damn dishes

She knows this and she’s the same

She’s so sarcastic Kamasaki almost lost his shit the first time he met her and realized that she’s even worse than Futa

“It’s fineeeee my dog won’t bite or anything, cant say the same for my sister though. She’ll have you reevaluating your life” -Futakuchi at Kamasaki

Kawanishi

Youngest child

He has an older sister who is 22

They aren’t that close since they’re only related because of their dad and live separately (Kawanishi living with his mom and her living with her own) but they’re pretty chill around each other

She isn’t the energetic type, preferring peace and quiet over anything but she doesn’t mind making conversation either

She sometimes cooks for him when he’s home and not in the dorms, he won’t admit it but he loves it since she’s always cared for him and she has amazing cooking skills

Yamagata

Oldest child

He has two younger siblings, a younger sister who’s about to graduate junior high, and a brother who is 2 years younger than her

They call him “The Capitalist”

Seriously, they have plenty of normal names for him like “Hayahaya”, “Haya”, “Yaya”, “Yato”, and “Hayaaaaaa” if they want something from him, but that other name is the sole weird one and most used name they have for him

The reason behind that name is that he’s a killer in Monopoly and bullies them through it, there’s only two people who can beat him in the game and those two people are two of their cousins but they don’t see each other often

“Sorry I don’t speak broke”, “not my fault I’m filthy rich and you’re living the life of a New York rat”, “sorry can’t see you through all this CASH”, “maybe if you weren’t slow on the brain then you could’ve saved some money and actually stood a chance”, “what are you? My mother? No, pay up kid this ain’t a game” -Hayato Yamagata in Monopoly

Hayato and his sister practice volleyball sometimes since he taught her how to play once while their brother watches when he’s feeling down. Spending time with them just helps

They play all sorts of card games with a big tray of snacks next to them when she’s the one down, and they all binge watch cool series together when their little brother is the one who is down

They like to spend a lot of time together and they overall care a lot about each other

Both of them miss Hayato a lot too since he spent three years living in a high school dorm system and he plans on moving away for college too but they wouldn’t admit it

Hayato misses them too but instead of trying to deny it or anything, he just spends as much time with them as possible. He takes them to the mall, theme parks, restaurants, etc.

His sister also has a crush on Semi and Hayato absolutely does not let her live it down, she knew she was done for the moment Hayato realized

Goshiki

Middle child

He comes from a family of A LOT of siblings and always feels outshined by them, two older ones and three younger ones to be exact

The oldest is a girl who’s 25 and currently lives with her best friend, second oldest is a boy who’s 19 and the one person who can absolutely get under Goshiki’s skin in less than 2 minutes, then there’s Goshiki, after him is his junior high brother who proves to be amazingly intelligent and great at volleyball himself and is only one year younger than him, and after him are “The Terror Twins” which are his two younger brothers that are three years younger than Goshiki

His older brother used to play basketball but stopped once graduated, that’s why he’s taller than Goshiki and a bit stronger. He always uses his height & strength to his advantage and a weapon to make Goshiki’s life a living hell and Goshiki hates him for it. Does anyone know why exactly he’s such a dick to Goshiki? Nope, it’s only a guess that he has some sort of hatred for him due to the fact that Goshiki shares a different mom than the rest of them

He and his younger brother have a complicated relationship too. They don’t physically fight like Goshiki and their older brother do but he constantly acts like he’ll always be better than him and like he’s worthless to him, that messes with Goshiki sometimes and they always end up arguing

There are a few times where those two pain in the asses actually like him and they get along though

The twins aren’t really bad, they just have a lot of energy in them and like causing trouble so Goshiki doesn’t really mind them unless they direct their mischief towards him

He gets along with his older sister the most, she’s really nice to him and often offers to go out with him. The volleyball team has also met her twice and they seem to like her too

[yandere-society]

Day 11 | Santa Tell Me

Synopsis: You’ve always been strangely scared of Santa as a child. The thought of a stranger in heavy boots breaking into your home and rummaging through your stuff has always terrified you. And you felt that terror right now, in this instant, as you laid there with two men in bright green suits hovering over your pretend-sleeping form.

The 12 Days of Black Christmas Event Masterlist

Pairing: Vmin x Female Reader

Admin: @roses-ruby​​

Trigger warnings: Yandere themes, bad crack, attempted kidnapping, stalking, stupid jokes, joke about religion, swearing, bad mouthing Santa 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You really hated Christmas.

You hated everything that had to do with Christmas. All the sugary deserts, the unhealthy binging, the fake family bonding and seasonal depression longing. The freezing weather that froze your toes and pipes, the blinding red and greens, otherwise known as holiday delights. The overzealous consumerism around every corner, the empty materialism that gave everyone boners. The deforestation and self-righteousness, the ugly sweaters and proud religious mess. You hated Christmas and its warping spider’s net and all the very, merry, happy, holy, holly, jolly shit that went along with it.  

It wasn’t like you ever had a good Christmas to change your mind. When you were six, every girl at school had the brand-new light up Princess Dolly sneakers for Christmas but thanks to your skinflint of a dad, you got the direct knock off; Princess Polly sneakers. Polly with a PUH. They didn’t even fucking light up. To this day you get nightmares from the bullying. At 15, you got typhoid fever before the big ski vacation and while everyone else got to go have the time of their life, you were stuck rotting at home with your weird cousin Sigil who collected the dead skins from snake sheds. And just last year, at an unbearably boring office party, your ex best friend and crush made out under the mistletoe for 15. Whole. Minutes. Last you heard of them, they were engaged.

Let’s not even start about your irrational fear of Santa Claus. Every bad Christmas could be traced back to him. You cried the first time you heard your dad describe the bearded old man. Your reaction confused the hell out of him but to you, he was the strange one. What kind of parent allows an overgrown, capitalist bear man who dresses in red and brainwashes elf and reindeer to come into their home using the chimney and spy on their kids throughout the whole year? Was he a sadist? When you were younger, you would wet the bed just thinking of him stomping around your house in the dark. Safe to say, you never left him any cookies. Now, you’re just glad you grew out of the phase of believing in such a horrid creature like Santa Claus. Finally, you could sleep happy knowing that no one would sneak into your house in the middle of the night.

So, while we’re on that topic…who exactly were the two men whispering in the dark inside your room if it’s definitely not Santa?

“We have to quickly get back before he notices we’re missing. QUICKLY, Taehyung.”

“I know, I know. Let me just untangle this rope, Jimin.”

Who the fuck were Taeyoong and Jimmy and what the fuck were they doing in your house? That’s what you were thinking as you laid on your bed pretending to be asleep, absolutely still in the complete dark. Of course, you had a break in on the night of Christmas because why the fuck not. What made you think this one year, your Christmas day would turn out okay?

You were stuck even further because you lost the window of opportunity to wake up and startle the intruders and perhaps scream for help because since the moment they snuck in (3 minutes ago) you did nothing but lay there listening to their banter like the idiot you are. Maybe you could pretend all their ‘noise’ woke you up, but then again you weren’t too fond of your acting skills.

But honestly, who were they? What did they want? Why did they keep mentioning returning before this ‘he’ found out they were gone?

As you were pondering your crisis, someone blew straight into your ear. You shot up from the bed with a scream and immediately turned on the lamp beside you. Two men in strange green tunics and stockings, pointy ears, and tall hats with a bell stare back at you with an equally horrified expression.

They were dressed up as…elves?

“See, I told you she was awake.” The one on your right, resembling a small animal, possibly the bastard who blew in your ear, chirps.

“Wow, you really do have night vision, Jiminie.” The taller one behind the edge of your bed, the one holding a rope says, while staring at you in a daze.

“Who the fuck are you both? How did you get in? What do you want?” You shout, bringing your comforter to your chest.

All they do is stare at you with lovesick eyes to which you scowl. Hold on, why were your potential murderers so hot?

“_-___,” The one on the right calls you carefully. He had round and soft features with a sharp jaw. Slender eyes and bright pink hair matching his rosy cheeks on his otherwise cute pale face. “It’s an honor to finally meet you…my name is J-Jimin.”

“I’m Taehyung.” You turn to the man with the rope. His features were extremely well proportioned and downright lethal. A devilishly handsome face, beautiful golden skin and dark brown mopy hair. He appeared and sounded like a mature sugar daddy but stared at you like a 12-year-old pervert.

You sat silent after the two men’s greetings. What were you supposed to say after intruders introduced themselves? Nice to meet you? And how did they know your name?

“…O-Okay…Jimin, Taehyung…why are you in my house.”

“We’re here to kidnap you.” Jimin smiles, his eyes turning into crescents.

“E…Excuse me?”

“Yeah! We’re here because we love you and we want you for ourselves, so we have to take you from your home.” Taehyung says, stretching the rope in his hands.

“WHAT?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Did you perhaps start hallucinating after your edible once again? Because that would explain this crazy ass dream you were having right now. Since when did you have an elf kink though?

“So you see,” Jimin begins walking to stand beside Taehyung so now they were both in front of you, “We’re Santa’s elves. We were the ones assigned to watch over you, see if you were naughty or nice.”

“Pfft, you’re very naughty~” Taehyung giggles, blushing like crazy. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“And over the years,” Jimin continues, “We came to fall in love with you to the point of obsession. So now we want to kidnap you and take you to the north pole where we three will live in a polyamorous relationship and only me and Taehyung will get to be with you.”

“We’ll fuck every day.” Taehyung chimes in proudly, earning a smack to the back of his head from Jimin who mutters ‘not yet.’

“Ahahaha, what Taehyung meant was…of course any sexual relationship would be consensual. No means no, after all.” Jimin winks awkwardly

You just sat there, mouth wide open as your brain refused to process all the information that was just presented to you. So not only were your intruders dressed up as elves, but they were also clinically insane.

“I’m calling the cops.”

“W-wait! We can prove it to you!” Jimin jumps, rushing back to your side. “When you were 10, you really wanted a MayaMaya doll collection set didn’t you? You didn’t tell your dad about it because you thought he would get you the knock off; the Papaya doll collection. It was the first and only time you were okay with Santa coming into your house, so you didn’t even set the bear trap in the fireplace like you did every year.”

He was right. What the fuck.

“W…how did you know that?”

“We saw you.” Jimin says, eyes soft and smile tender, “You were wishing so earnestly that Christmas Eve, it almost made me cry.”

“W…wait so…Santa is real?”

“Of course.” They sang in unison

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time out.” You huff, “He’s been real this whole time, yet he’s never gotten me what I wanted for Christmas?”

“Oh, my love.” Taehyung strides up and sits on your side of the bed, taking your hand in his. “It was out of our hands…we tried to get you on the nice list, but he could sense your bad vibes…also I’m pretty sure he was salty you never left him cookies. He is sort of petty.”

“So you’re telling me that hippy bitch Claire really did deserved that large purple dollhouse more than me?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, she hasn’t been on the nice list for a long time now…all she asks for are sex toys.” Taehyung stares off into the distance.

“How long have ya’ll been watching me?”

“We are supposed to stop once a kid doesn’t believe in Santa anymore...but we were just always rooting for you. Before we knew it, we were watching you way into adulthood...and then slowly we started falling in love with you.” Jimin blushes

“...Have ya’ll seen me-”

“Naked? No...but we really want to.” Taehyung bites his bottom lip.

“I can’t believe this…” You groan, placing a palm over your forehead.

“Hey now, Jesus didn’t die today for you to be full of despair.” The taller elf rubs your hand with his thumb

“No, you idiot. He was born today…I think.” Jimin tsks

“Oh…well the point still stands. Don’t be sad my love. We never want you to have a bad Christmas again.”

“Anyway, we should hurry before Santa notices we abandoned him. That ass-kisser Jin also tagged along so we don’t have to worry too much about our portion of the presents since he would love to show off how competent he is to Santa all by himself. We can just say we ran a bit late because some kid almost woke up.” Jimin tells Taehyung to which he nods, getting his rope ready.

Oh right, this was a kidnapping. You forgot.

“___, just stay perfectly still and we’ll easily load you into the bottom of Santa’s gift sack. That thing is huge, no one will notice but us.”

“Guys, wait.” You say to which they freeze. “Let me think about this.”

They look at you with pleading puppy dog eyes and you start to contemplate it. Should you go with the two elves that barged into your house and tried to kidnap you and possibly turn you into a sex slave?

…

What were the pros and cons?

If you go to the North Pole, you’d basically be stuck with everything you hate about Christmas all year round. But could it be that bad seeing how smoking these two elves were? They could easily keep you warm. Were all elves this hot? Wait…could Santa possibly be hot? Your mouth watered thinking about it. Is this an enemies to lovers AU after all?

Whatever it was, it was interesting and more importantly you had a lot of unfinished business with the man in red. You could see it now, forming a mutiny with all the elves. Killing Claus and taking over his empire. Then it would be you who rules Christmas and boy, do you have a few changes you wanted to make like the beginning of this story states. Finally, all your wishes will come true. This time you WILL get the light up Princess Dolly sneakers and MayaMaya doll collection set.

And so, with a sinister plot forming in your head, you smile at the two eager elves in front of you.

“Alright boys, let’s go.”

Maybe this Christmas won’t be so bad after all.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

ellie livewatches the night manager ep. 2

forgot to mention, but this intro is bussin’

drugs? (with a rolled r)

ah shit, we’ve got a bad relationship with a parent

DAMN-

well thats just a bit rude

girlie you need therapy

omg the little boy from wonder...JACK WILL, thats who he played

god she’s tall

ooh, i’ve never made paella before, nor tried it

my brother got to drive a boat once lol. that was the first time i ever saw dolphins

ah yes, rich people shit

thats a nice lil table

you see, i’ve tried veal, (deer) in sausage form and it A. tasted weird and B. was dryas fuck. i’ll have it again, but maybe like with rice, mixed in, like i sometimes do with ground beef. it was very lean lol.

DONT GIVE THE CHILD ALCOHOL-

i mean.....he’s gulping that shit my lord

remember kids, always make sure you’ve got some water on hand, as well as food in your stomach before drinking xx (or so i’ve heard)

hehe, STOP

ooh, i do adore mr. groff’s laugh though

awwwwwww. this is a very cute moment.

w-was she a little kiddie?

like, not 5 years old, but like a MINOR, um..hmm

oh shit

BACK OFF, BITCH YOU HAVE A CHILD IN YOUR ARM WITH A GUN CLOSE TO HIS HEAD, FUCK OFF

RUN GODDAM IT, RUN AFTER THEM

i’ll be damned if i dont run after MY kid, or someone in my family if they’ve been kidnapped.

also, this may not be EVERY KID.

but i’d be looking for weapons left and right to hurt this person, straight up. any type of exits, im looking for them. all of that.

poor baby

oh, we’re going back this time.

some backstory ehhehehehe

ah, attached memories i see

this is worrying, just a bit. my god.

JUST LIKE THAT.

i feel like he could’ve done that a bit better.

cameras???

yo why tf didn’t he day “who is it?” before opening the damn door.

i want a tea n’ biscuit too goddamn

um.........i dont know if i could do this, personally. i really couldnt. maybe im too sensitive for it lol.

jesus christ, another murder

ugh yes, he can ride motorcycles. hells yeah

THE SHADES

well thats a bit of a rude shock

thats even worse goddamn

IM SCARED

HE WAS SO SMOOTH WITH IT

GOTDAMN-

ewwww more roper

look at him go

in case yall didnt know, im VERY anti-capitalist, anti-capitalism, all that shit

this dude is just grossing me out

i miss being on my bike lol

yayyy he can cook

RIP to her at that point

i take it back.

welp.

no, actually, rip to her.

i love watching people’s eyes dilate. one of the things that i really enjoy learning about is genetics, and how different traits come about. it’s one of my favorite things. he’s got such pretty eyes too, it makes this all the better.

DAMN, PUT A PASSWORD ON YOUR PHONE

whomst the fuck was that

AYYY SHE MADE IT

he did a good pitch, if i say so myself.

ooh, a history between the two

OOOH PLOT........IT THICKENS BESTIES

thats a fair reason

i know his ass is scared

that reminded me of the one scene in family guy where stewie beats brian’s ass for not having his money. im talking blood and broken glass fighting, mind you.

UH OH

im scared

W H A T

god i hate this

OOH SHIT

i have never seen this man be this upset dear lord-

im scared of him

oh no-

wheres the body?? who’s body was it?

well fahk me innit

PERIODTTTTTT

STAY STRAPPED BITCHESSSS

damn....das hot

THIS WAS PLANNED

oh, not the pot

NOT THE FACE

..........oh lord

god, how long has he been there, and how long did it take them to get there?

im not a medical professional, but ehhh that blood looks fairly clotted, like...kinda.

idk.

damn he’s in rough shape

GET THE KID AWAY FROM THE SCENE

corky my beloved

bro wtf, this is SO TERRIFYING

woahhhh, he looks fucked up

wonderful hair, even with a fucked up face

this is such a beautiful shot, my lord.

that ambulance cut too close to the curve for me lol

u cant call dead people, ms. jed

danny ur father was right for asking you to thank the person who saved your life, HOWEVER, i do hate your dad.

awwww!! yes, i would love to hear about squids.

giving me captain james conrad vibes with the shirt color

yeah, corky’s cool (for the time being)

i like the name mordecai

speaking of which, i DID, in fact, have a crush on mordecai from regular show

i dont think smoking would be good for the cracked ribs

ah, so corky is figuring shit out

he does have nice ankles.

i dont know if he would be any good at running with CRACKED RIBS.

i would be milking everything i could if i was in his position.

he looks more upset than anything.

um.....ew

mr. frisky, i think you need some therapy for that.

get them pics.

thee river house

okay sir, shut the fuck up before i punch you through the damn screen.

angela burr my beloved.

YAYYYY. he got a lobster!! im proud of him

bruh, sit in the chair, not on this man’s thigh hairs

watch him sleep through all of tomorrow

me pretending to sleep when my mama checks in on me:

THE LOOK-

ONTO EPISODE THREEE-!