#really like these even if they're messy
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
unassorted doodle dump from twitter
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
In your Spitfire AU, since Zuko is looking after Lu Ten II, what happened to Ursa?
Zuko is slightly older in the Spitfire AU. He was banished at fifteen, his head a little clearer and denial a little weaker than in canon. After his first look through the Air Temples, Zuko decides that if he can't find a myth, he might as well search for the next best thing.
Finding Ursa isn't easy, but in time he makes it to a secluded house in a near-forgotten part of the world. His mom is there, older and stronger and alive.
But she isn't alone.
And Zuko, as it turns out, didn't keep the best company during his search.
When Ursa is discovered and her secrets are laid bare for assassins (for Ozai) to find, she begs Zuko to take his little brother and run. She'll do anything it takes to protect her children, even if that means leaving them behind to keep a target off their back. Ursa diverts attention from them and allows Lu Ten's ancestry to be kept a secret. She orders Zuko not to follow her again, and disappears.
Zuko is left with a little three-year-old brother to raise and a mother he cannot hold onto.
#dema answers#atla#spitfire#Spitfire AU#prince zuko#atla ursa#Lu Ten II#The Ursa/Hakoda parallels are going to be insane in this one I swear#It's okay tho#It's absolutely intentional#(The other option was killing her. But I happen to find family conflict and abandonment issues way more compelling to write)#Luckily Zuko isn't alone. He's a mess of course—and raising the little brother you never knew you had isn't easy.#But he has Uncle and (once those loyal to his father have been taken care of) he also has his crew.#Look three years into the future and you've got a six-year-old Spitfire running around the ship and giving Zuko early gray hair#Ursa will be reunited with them in the future. I just don't know when would that happen yet.#Probably post-war#She returns to her children only to come face to face with their overprotective found family (aka the Gaang)#Their reunion would be quite messy at first but...it'll all be okay#They all love each other deeply. And sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes there are things that you can't forgive or forget.#But Ursa did everything she did because she loved them. And Zuko knows that. Zuko understands that.#(He was forced to make the same decision in Ba Sing Se—giving yourself up and leaving the people you love behind so that they're safe)#(He understands)#But Lu Ten II doesn't#He doesn't remember Ursa. Not really. He knows of her what Zuko and Uncle tell him. But he doesn't remember ever having a mother.#(Tara is soft and warm and kind to him. She holds him and takes care of him and makes sure he's well-behaved. And he loves her.)#(Is that what makes a mother? Or is it the blood you share?)#Ursa isn't much like Tara. But she loves him dearly—there's a reason he has the name of someone who was so dear to her.#She is Lu Ten's mother. Zuko's mother. Uncle's sister.#And she isn't like Tara. But she loves him even if he can't remember her.#So maybe he can learn to love her back.
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'M GONNA SEE MY MAN, 'TIL I GET SATISFIED / for @izzy-hands
#ofmdedit#ourflagmeansdeathedit#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#izzy hands#israel hands#edits#ofmd spoilers#useravia#userbecca#i started this as a tribute to the character and by association my dear avia who knows her faves and her messy old men#but it wasn't supposed to be so angsty i wanted something to cheer you up! forgive me hon gsdgs-d#the absolute chokehold this song has on me carried me away i suppose#no one look to closely at the shade of magenta cause they're inconsistent as hell#but i could talk for HOURS about the intricacies of this dynamic#don't even really care ship-wise#just the absolute queer insanity that is to be stuck in such a vicious cyle of love and loyalty so deep#they turn ugly and they make monsters and you feel those monsters are your responsibility cause 'you and i made him like this'#so you endure!!!!! cause when's a monster not a monster!!!! oh when you love it#and other tragic quotes
441 notes
·
View notes
Note
What do you think of jkr as a writer? I for one has always felt like she didn’t treat her female characters well. It felt strange, being critical of her when she was god queen of the earth, and also being 10
I think most of the problems in her books can be chalked up to genre hopping. Books 1-3 are perfectly good and serviceable children's books — great children's books, even! They have compelling, relatable characters and juicy mystery plots. They have problems, sure, but for the first three books someone's ever written — especially someone with little or no background in creative writing — they're really fucking good. So: there's her flowers.
The last four books pivot sharply into much more emotionally complicated and sociopolitically loaded territory, because they're describing a war. And it's hard to write children's books about war. I would venture you can't really do it, at least without dramatically misrepresenting what war is! And so Rowling makes the executive decision somewhere during the writing of Book 4 that she's not going to flinch away from that, she's going to go for dramatic realism, and she kills Cedric Diggory to let us know. People had died in Harry Potter before, of course — Quirrell gets sent to the fucking shadow realm, for example. But children haven't. (It also gives parents who are reading these books with their children a warning shot: shit is about to get significantly more real, think twice before you buy the next one of these for your 10-year-old.) After that, Rowling starts leaning much more into dramatic realism, and the fast-paced mystery-novel plotting of the first few books is replaced by a slow, simmering political conflict that unfurls over the course of about a million words.
The problem — besides the fact that she's picking one of the hardest things to write about, like, in all of literature, war is really insanely complicated and emotionally intense and hard to portray well — is that she's now trying to use characters, plot points, and technologies she developed for a children's series to enact a sprawling war drama among teenagers and adults. So Hermione, who was a reasonably precocious snobby eleven-year-old, becomes this sort of encyclopedic all-knowing savant of the wizarding world, who somehow remains functional and mostly even-headed despite her identity being the chief target of a prolifically murderous terrorist group. Draco Malfoy, a schoolyard bully whose primary tools included 1. namecalling and 2. telling teacher, JOINS said terrorist group (and admittedly does react reasonably, i.e., has a total crashout and takes to sobbing in a girls' bathroom whenever he gets a free minute). Dumbledore, who starts out as "whimsical friendly winky-wink trustworthy grandfather type", ends up being Magical Winston Churchill in a violent game of spycraft and espionage, eventually revealing he's only been keeping Harry at all these seven years because he wants to KILL him! And like, maybe really good technical writing could smooth out these transitions and make the first-order dramatic choices seem more natural, but Rowling is like, a Fine Writer, technically speaking. meaning she's reasonably consistent in characterization, her plotting is well-paced and believable, she has a clear authorial voice, and her prose is readable. personally, that's not enough to get me to buy into some of the changes that happen in the later books, and because she stuffs these things so full with new elements every installment, a lot of stuff ends up getting glossed over.
And like, I still love the books. I think they're wonderful, and they taught me how to read. but i can say that and also say that Rowling probably did herself a disservice by trying to write four giant war novels as sequels to her first three mystery children's books.
#i have this running theory that debut fantasy writers shoot themselves in the feet by trying to be tolkien#i.e. assuming because they're writing fantasy they have to write about war#but he wrote that because that was what he liked reading! it was what he thought a mythological epic should be#at the time LOTR was a WEIRD pitch for a book#fantasy was much more small-scale adventure like Lewis's Narnia books (which also end in a giant battle but like)#(it's not really the same thing. narnia doesn't run on realpolitik)#(it's Narnia)#I'd compare it to swiss family robinson and treasure island and the adventure stories of Jules Verne#then tolkien comes along and is like. WHAM. Bitch I Put Elves In The Somme#and everyone was like ??? HOT DAMN#but the thing is. once you've seen Elves In The Somme. and it's THAT good. the Hot Damn effect wears off some#so all these fantasy authors start writing vaguely medieval war stories because that's what Tolkien did! and they love him!#but the difference between mimicry and inspiration is your willingness to depart from the source#there are a lot of other plots out there! hundreds! thousands even!!#harry potter books you didn't need to do this! harry potter you could have just been cool mysteries!#but i dunno maybe people started talking about her as the next tolkien and she got scared of disappointing them#and like having said all that. considering the obvious anxiety of influence and the genre hop and the rough technical spots.#the harry potter books are REMARKABLY good.#what you have in them is an author's first attempt at longform serial storytelling EVER#and it's ambitious as hell and it has a billion characters and you know what? she mostly pulls it off!#we rag on it for being messy at the edges because It Is and I wouldn't be writing fanfic if I didn't have some qualms#or at least areas I think could bear more explaining. but there are Reasons it went that way
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pike and Scanlan getting married: I'm not into this but it's the end of the campaign. It's easy enough to let it go and move on. Pike indicating she and Scanlan are amicably divorced: The knowledge that it didn't work out adds a bittersweet angle to the marriage that actually makes me like it more now. Whatever the fuck Pike and Scanlan have going on now: This is a glorious disaster and I want like a million episodes of this.
#critical role#pike trickfoot#scanlan shorthalt#like campaign 3 pike as presented by matt#and campaign 3 pike as played by ashley#are so totally different#and for a watsonian explanation i'd say matt's pike was around strangers#and much like matt's keyleth was putting on more of her public face#whereas now that they're back in the hands of their respective players#and they're back around people they've known for decades#they can be like#aw fuck do i really have to call my ex?#i'm so tired of giving speeches and making up titles why does everyone need a title#(and for a doylist explanation it's just like. i think matt is playing the characters a bit safe.)#(doesn't want to step on any toes or make big decisions without being consulted.)#anyway i do also like the amicable divorce angle#it's like 'hey this happily ever after was not ever after because real people are complex'#'and they don't just stagnate while they're offscreen'#'but also it feels like they learned more about themselves and came away with some children they adore'#'so even if it didn't work out they probably don't regret it'#but no the messy on-again-off-again i don't actually remember if we're married or divorced right now#and the awkward conversations and the extreme 'not over it' energy they both have#i'm way more invested in this ship than i have ever been ya'll
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
so I've already seen a few ships for Reca being thrown around, but have we considered
#they're so divorced coded to me it's not even funny#idk something very funny about Jade not really being on Penacony for most of the plot#purely bc she didn't want to potentially run into her weird ex husband is very funny to me#i have an entire timeline hc for them that will absolutely be ruined once more info on both of them is available#but whatever#also the divorce was very messy and very public#like def made it to the tabloids#and jade probably has one of them hung up in her office as like a flex#And def not because she's not over him (she isn't)#(neither is he though)#hsr#mr reca#hsr jade#jade hsr#honkai star rail#mr reca hsr
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been getting really into tiny pen sketches lately. I get bored of them and start new ones so I never actually finish any of them, but I think it adds a je ne sais quoi tbh. Here's a few I've drawn (or at least started drawing) today and yesterday :) they're all 2.5 x 2.5 inches. They are not great, but they are small and I love them
#long post#also like. yeah they're not great but how good and precise can they even really be when they're smaller than a sticky note???#it is also *impossible* to get good clear pictures when they're so small.#anyways they're messy and not great but they're fun. definitely recommend as a stress-free art exercise!#I like using google maps and finding random locations to draw.#the tokyo street corner and 9th ave NYC are from online photo references but the other two are google maps finds.#the Lowell MA one is because of the death cab for cutie song. i've been listening to their sophomore album a lot lately.#anyways. I've got ten other things to be doing but alas. i yearn for messy small pen sketches and vaguely sad indie rock music.#and carpal tunnel syndrome.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking bout the time someone yelled at me because they didn't understand butches.
#feeling some kind of way about telling queer stories lately#and what makes something “queer enough”#which. in my opinion is that any story I tell is queer enough because I am a queer person telling stories about queer characters#but there are always going to be people who call that into question if boys arent kissing boys and girls arent kissing girls#in easy uncomplicated ways#looking glasses is meant to be messy#everyone is at turning points in their lives. they're young adults whose identities and relatio ships aren't fully formed yet#but those complications (in my opinion) are what make the story queer#what are dess's pronouns? she/her but only because she hasnt had a chance to think about anything else#when an overbearing mother got her daughter back after they were missing for years#she might have a hard time adjusting to her child maybe not being her “daughter”#which is queerer: two women getting together or breaking up?#i dont think it matters#but I find these in between spaces interesting to explore#and it's my story that I'm doing for free#so even if dess looks too much like a man#i dont owe it to anybody to conform my story to someone else's expectations#(long ramble that probably isnt very coherent)#(i've just been thinking about some of this stuff lately. and this is the funniest response I've ever gotten to the comic)#(like yeah. she is a girl. good job!)#(i dont often get hate on the comic (which I'm glad for) so whenever I do I find the types of hate really fascinating)#(and dont worry. I got this months ago. I've just been thinking about it again recently and laughing)#nickel for my thoughts
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
Let’s be honest.Who would be the healthier couple.Wade and Peter or Peter and Johnny.?
you're joking
#sci speaks#it's not like i constantly say the reason why i don't write more spideytorch is because they're too healthy for me#johnny storm would be SO good for peter.#like even when they pull each other's hair it comes from such a harmless place that they really don't hurt each other.#they just... they know each other so well.#wade and peter hurt each other all the time. legitimately. like they do real damage. they're so messy together. that's why i like them.#sometimes it's okay to crave junk food.
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't really go here, but all the members in The Amazing Digital Circus are in a polyamorous relationship methinks
#yes this includes caine an' bubble cry about it- /lh#i have a disease that makes me hc any group of characters i like as bein' in a polyam relationship wit' eachother-#ok but srsly tho i mainly headcanon this cuz the theory that the circus is a hell of sorts really got to me and idk why-#an' even though things could be better between many of them so far i still ship this cuz the way i see it they're all stuck there-#-but they're stuck there together an' instead of lettin' it get to them all they choose to defy their situation by embracin' eachother#like they prove the whole saying 'hell is people' wrong by embracing the fact that they may not click 100% wit' eachother in every way-#-an' that's ok since at the end of the day they do have one thing in common which is that they're stuck there-#-but they're stuck there together instead of being hopelessly alone wit' their own thoughts or in the basement#plus no relationship is perfect an' sometimes it can be a bit messy jus' like theirs since they may be stuck but they're stuck together#an' i jus' think that's beautiful in a weird poetic way#holy fuck i was ramblin' sm in here does anyone actually read these anyways-#the amazing digital circus#tadc pilot#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc caine#tadc gangle#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#tadc bubble#i'm tagging all the ships cuz fuck you lol-#tadc pomni x ragatha#tadc ribbun#tadc royalteeth#tadc caine x pomni#tadc funnybunny#tadc bunnydoll#tadc showtime
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yk what actually. I'm sick of staying quiet Conya is a perfectly fine ship. I don't understand why people dislike it so much. In early Ninjago? Sure, back then it wasn't the greatest dynamic and didn't really have much in terms of actually substantive interactions. But people are still casually hating on it and putting it on DNI lists right next to ships like Greenflame like they're comparable and I'm sickkkk of it it's been YEARS!! Their dynamic has grown so much since then!!!! They're on the same level as Braincell for me in terms of ships I really like I think they have a great and interesting dynamic!!!! They're cute together!!!!!! EVEN OUTSIDE OF MUDSHOCK!!!!! RAGHH!!!!!!!!!
#ninjago#conya#cole brookstone#nya smith#nya jiang#I will always personally prefer platonic Conya but their relationship is still so so important to me in a way thats very specific#to me being Aro. Like. Idk. It's not exactly QPR stuff bc I dont think they would ever label anything but that also means that I don't think#they would hate a romantic label either!!!!!! Raghhh!!!!!!!!!! They're friends above everything else though obviously 💯💯 theyve always#got eachothers backs#Also i do prefer Mudshock just because Conya doesn't make sense to me w/o Jay somehow in the mix unless there's some sort of messy breakup#involved. And. Jay would never really take that well and it would sort of just sour the whole group dynamic esp since Cole is Jays bestie#and ALL OF THAT just to get two characters together feels so shallow to me shdjsgd. Like. Idk. None of that crap is worth it the romance#isnt anywhere near necessary for the two. Their bond is unspoken and they're satisfied enough w/ what they are right now even if they could#be smthn else#I just dont like the 'Lets ruin/throw away all of our othe relationships for LOVE 😍😍!! Because for some reason romantic relationships are#automatically more important and deep and mean more to us than any other relationship so its totally worth it every time!!!' it feels so.#like. amatonormative. Yk?#anyways ill shutup now I LOVE THEM!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!#they make my aro heart really really happy ok. I dont know jow to explain it but i have another post abt them in the conya tag I think
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)
#i don't even know what prompted it...#hit w a vision. not enough time to execute it. hit w a vision. too tired to execute it.#i guess technically it was just two huh. but all the moving parts made the other one feel like two in and of itself#oh. now i remember there was another shitpost behind it. i just. didn't get to.#thinking about bruno... thinking about anna... thinking about the fairies... thinking about mirabilis specifically actually#she gets the short end of the stick characterization wise and it's such a shame.#to the point where i was unsure what to do w her... i think i got some ideas rattling around though#I CAN... GIVE HER.... SO MUCH MORE.... without changing too much about her. i just need to extrapolate.#hits her w the disability beam. idk if it's also autism but she has some sort of chronic condition#that just makes you. so tireds. moe and mira shaking hands. let's lay down and rest together.#also thinking about the subtle differences between a full dream and a daydream... between sleeping and just resting#and. making her kitty coded. she is such a kitten pile type girl. she is such a lap cat. queen of catnapping#which i'm thinking works really well w peony and even sharena. not so much moe though 😭💔#i want to capture a playful side. and maybe even a 'i'm still figuring out how i feel about that' side to her#like... i'm imagining peony as someone who's surprisingly insightful and emotionally intelligent.#she's got it all figured out. she already knows. she's not always right. but she tends to know what's up#i'm thinking... maybe mira isn't quite there yet. or struggles to see outside of herself. for obvious/understandable reasons#but she has that unwavering desire for joy and comfort the way peony does. she may feel a pang of jealousy here and there#but it doesn't get in the way of her goals and wants for others. which may be the defining factor actually#like obviously this could get messy if you simplify it too much into 'good' or 'bad'. bc all these girls are DIRECT reflections#of each one's trauma response. assigning morality to that is fucked up. but for story purposes... maybe freyja/freyr did. to a degree.#bc maybe they're flawed and fucked up too. it's about The Cycles. i'm getting so lost in the sauce though LMFAOO#i am GOING to do SOMETHING. for mirabilis. mark my fucking words.
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
what is the event/main cause that made roksana cut her mom off?
now this is interesting to talk about because it would be a very gradual process spanning over many many years but it would all come to explode during the events of the broker, despite that fic focusing on vitali; the events of that fic affect his whole family even though it doesn't elaborate much on the effects on his siblings. i initially had several chapters dedicated to roksana but had to cut it short and put it all in one chapter only but when i go for the rewrite i'm putting all of the initial ideas back because it's IMPORTANT. she and vitali are so similar in so many ways but also not at the same time. anyway ok yes here we go
so for roksana specifically she's kind of been a background character in the family ever since she was young. you'd think that after two other kids her parents would know how to parent her correctly but instead they just kind of let her do her thing and she got away with everything, which was nice in a way because it gave her freedom within the house itself but outside of that there was just nothing there for her. with the whole world to her disposal but nobody there with her to help her or keep her company through it all life just got suffocating to her in a way :(
she felt trapped in her family and her brothers always got the spotlight (mostly negative attention, since mainly their mother nadya was always just angry at vitali and after vitali left home daniil just kind of became her new therapist; but roksana did not really pay attention to this, all she saw was her brothers getting attention and not her), so roksana ended up fitting herself into all the boxes her parents wanted her to be in just to get some attention from them and get the love that she deserved. she was the family's poster child, but at the same time this whole role was an act of her, acting the way people expected her to act to get some respect and it was actively chipping away at her psyche, it stopped her from actually growing up and becoming her own person if that makes sense?? her personality was just fabricated specifically for her parents. but that's not who she was or wanted to be. but she knew nothing else
roksana and her father matvey have always had a very professional relationship. he was always busy with work and didn't do a lot of parenting so roksana came to see him more as a guy who lived under the same roof as her rather than her father; in the broker this escalates with matvey seeking revenge against vitali and roksana getting dragged into it and becoming a messenger girl in it all, but by then she's entirely neutral towards her father so there's not even bad blood between them when she stops talking to him; he's just a stranger to her. this is what much later allows her to hesitantly come back after vitali and matvey have made amends to try and build up that relationship again
roksana and her mother nadya however are a different story. the main difference is that roksana always hoped that nadya would understand; that she would understand the position roksana was in and understand her anger and her misery and her sorrows and regrets and that she would try to make it easier for her, give her some relief from the burdens she had to carry. but nadya refused to listen to roksana and refused to take her seriously (much like how she had always treated vitali; important to note that vitali is a trans man and to nadya he was still "her daughter"), not allowing her to show any sort of weakness because she herself had by then long killed her own weaknesses within herself and she expected roksana to do the same
and nadya got what she wanted. roksana grew up a cold and bitter woman, she let her anger win (contrasting vitali who after all this time STILL chooses kindness; if the roles for him and roksana had been reversed, though, he would have turned out the same as her, but the contrast and parallels between vitali and roksana is a story for another time) and she knows it's nadya's fault and she HATES her mother for it. she hates what nadya turned her into and she hates that she never got a normal childhood and she wants nothing more than to get out of there. this is why she vanishes from night city after her appearance in the broker fic, and why initially it is entirely unclear if she'll ever come back
so basically to summarize, nadya robbed roksana of her childhood and her softness and her ability to become her own person by forcing her to be the poster child of the family, and in classic dobrynin family fashion roksana tends to take grudges to her grave, so i don't really see her forgiving her mother for it any time soon. add to that the fact she sees nadya as the cause the entire family started crumbling apart in the first place (whether or not this is true is at this point very hard to tell because like, how far can you trace something like this back and who can be held responsible for what etc etc, but especially taking into consideration she never respected vitali's identity which is what drove him away from home, then did not allow him to reconnect which is what got him into arasaka, and THEN pushed matvey to get revenge after vitali indirectly got them fired at said corporation, and all of THAT is what drove daniil away from home and what caused roksana to change so drastically i'd say it's safe to say she is one of the bigger players in it all LMAO) AND doesn't feel comfortable around her anymore after her affair with ravager (nadya did that while still being married to matvey; they're divorced now), and there you go. mother privileges have been revoked
that being said, roksana does wish things were different. she stuck around for much longer than her brothers did almost in an attempt to fix things?? which again parallels vitali with how he also ends up trying to fix things in the broker fic but basically both of them fail and that's why roksana ends up leaving, she doesn't see the point in staying anymore because there's nothing there for her anymore :(
she does eventually come back to reconnect with vitali (most of their past beef was caused by twisted perspectives of the other's life at home as a child + daniil's rancid behavior bringing out the worst in both of them) and matvey (what i said earlier about them being strangers; no bad blood so an attempt can be made), but nadya has been cut off entirely and so has daniil for roksana because of how similar he is in his behavior to their mother, i talked a bit more about that here
this got very long i am so sorry i am positively insane about this family and all the dynamics. basically the tl;dr is that nadya gets worst mother of the year award forever and always
#asks#velocitic#ask:roksana#oc asks#SHE IS SO. INTERESTING. and like again the dobrynins are all unreliable narrators in a way to different degrees but#one thing that can generally be agreed upon is that nadya just very much sucks big time#matvey also definitely sucks. i mean. people died in the broker fic. but like#this is a messy family. they've all been a lot more DIRECTLY affected by certain things that make other things just kinda#idk. irrelevant?? or like. it looks small in comparison to the hurt some stuff in the past have caused them basically. do you understand#like especially for roksana she has become so apathetic and generally uncaring that she could not give less of a fuck what her dad did#and she doesn't really care about vitali being a middleman between clients and mercenaries. she's got her own problems to worry about#if the other part of her family (daniil and nadya) wasn't 546735943683463 times worse to be around she would have#stronger opinions about it probably. but right now it really doesn't matter. plus vitali's fixer business is kinda fun let's be honest#roksana wouldn't be trusted by vitali's mercs for a good while when she returns because of like#how she tried to turn them against vitali. but also it would even out pretty quickly#because i mean. mikhail also fucked cato over big time and she's now wanted by kang tao and they're like gay lovers but platonically
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
malice, cowboy PI
#artists on tumblr#illustration#oc art#i don't think i ever posted this here when i made it last year#this is my character malice who i'm absolutely ill about#and the one in the background is molly who is the character of my dear friend @killsaint#there are a multitude of things i would like to change about this as it is quite unfinished. but i'm still really proud !!!#im also trying to learn to be okay with how things i make look when they're a little bit messy#might fix it up one of these days but for now. ^_^#might even have this as the cover of a short story or something idk. i like writing about these two#roach.pdf#roach.png#malice cowboy pi#blood tw
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
lone star shine down on my hometown
id: a digital greyscale drawing of kurier-she’s white and has long, dark, graying hair as well as a beard. she’s visible from her head to her chest. she’s wearing a cowboy hat, a plaid, unbuttoned shirt over a white tank top and a simple, black eyepatch over her left eye. the background is solid black with a lone, white star shining right above kurier’s head, they’re looking up at it with a sad expression. end id
#art#fnv oc#BOO FALLOUT JUMPSCARE GRAAAAAAH#anyways this is boston kurier/kier and they're SAD!!!#i was thinking about them recently and well i think they'd feel a teeny tiny bit (crushingly) guilty about leaving the mojave because they#got overwhelmed by the possibility of having to fucking. supervise the whole place. even with yessie to help#so he ran away. to boston and got a boy best friend (nicky) and he kind of feels BAD but also not really beause this is much better for him#like. mentally#he's conflicted and he probably bawls his eyes out to nick at one point#i think she'd be also a little scared to tell him at first? y'know. worried he might judge#so she lets her feelings marinate for a few years (bad) and yeah!!!!#this one's kinda messy too but well erm ^__^ i didn't feel like spending three morbillion years on this+ it has it's charm like that#the song kindaaa fits but also kinda doesnt??#honestly i don't think she ever wants to go back to the mojave. why am i talking like i'm speculating this is my own character#but it gets sentimental sometimes.....mostly about arcade and yessie and ede probably#AND DELILAH....and delilah hi Peep if you're reading this#yeah but i don't think it would ever. go back even though it probably could#GABRIEL'S MEDIOCRE EXPLANATION OF HER OC'S BACKSTORY JUMPSCARE BOO!!!
74 notes
·
View notes