#really just rambling and getting some thoughts out

[wowzerwyrm]

Okay, I'd like to start an open discussion here of some sort. Main problem being, I'm not really sure the best way to do that. Reblogs aren't really great for a discussion, comments are a little janky, and a direct message seems rude for multiple reasons and also isn't really open, since what I want to do is to get these thoughts out there for anyone to read if they want. So I guess what I'm settling on is I'm going to have an open discussion with myself here, directed at no one in particular but reblogged from this post since this is the thing that sparked it, and if anyone wants to comment on my thoughts with their own, either criticism consideration that would be neat (though I can't guarantee I'll have the energy/attention span later to actually respond, even if I'll do my best to) All that out of the way, this post makes me feel bad. Why does it make me feel bad? Let me figure that out, because my emotions are not what determines the morality of a situation, just what I'm already predisposed to think. I'm not an AI artist, I don't use GenAI for my own art or writing. But I also don't personally see GenAI as inherently a bad thing. Is it simply my proximity to the idea, so I feel as if I'm being called a nazi supporter? Maybe, it could be as simple as that. So, it's probably a good idea to analyze my understandings about GenAI art and the claims being made to see if I feel bad just because it sucks to be unfairly compared to something bad, or if it's because I'm feeling some cognitive dissonance that I don't like. (Ergo, am I a nazi supporter?) Regarding the claims in the post, how do my understandings and beliefs line up?

AI art is a great tool for people who think art's only purpose is to look good

Okay, so... this is objectively true, yeah. AI art is a great tool for people who think art's only purpose is to look good. But for some reason, it still feels inaccurate even though it is true. Let me break down the idea and look at some of the implied and inverse statements this one creates. 'People who think art's only purpose is to look good' definitely has a lot to unpack in it. As an artist, I'm familiar enough with the idea that art is so much more than just the end-product visual medium and how technically proficient it is. Along with the fact that 'good' is a distinctly difficult idea to nail down. Given the reblog about nazi art ideals, I think it's okay to assume that 'good' in this case is along the lines of 'good vs evil', black and white thinking, and the fascist view of cleanliness and purity. Something that decries art that doesn't meet the same specific stylization and standards as not just different, but 'wrong' and 'bad.' And is AI art a good tool for people who think like that? Yeah, sure. (though also I'm starting to think No, after getting into more of the comments and tags on this post and similar ones, but I can get into that later.)

But it will create very smooth, clean, 'sterilized' pieces of art, for sure, and that is definitely something that fascists want.

It's a neat sort of post, where a fairly straightforward statement is also a clever turnaround idea that is supposed to help you get the idea of what is really going on. I do tend to like those kinds of posts, where it's a statement that doesn't quite fit the mold of what you assume (in this case, as an artist that frequently expresses distaste and disgust for GenAI (along with just being in the general zeitgeist of anti-AI sentiment), it's odd for her to post something about AI being a good tool in any way, and that oddity makes you think, and the careful phrasing of the post draws your eye to the 'only', which reminds you that art's purpose isn't only to look good, which then puts the first half of the sentence in a different light.) If, for example, she had posted that "AI art is a great tool for people who think art is supposed to look good." That would have much different implications, as would just posting. "AI art is a great tool for people who want to make art that looks good." Which leads to another interpretation of the post

AI art is [only] a great tool for people who think art's only purpose is to look good

This is, objectively, not what the post is saying. It literally does not say this. OP even said in another post that there's nothing inherently fascist about wanting to create better art. But I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that this was the idea a reader was supposed to land on, and the implication the OP was trying to make. (I could be wrong, and please let me know if that is the case.) And I think this is where the post started feeling bad to me, because that specifically is something I disagree with. Sure, it absolutely can and has been used to make sterilized, clean, 'good' art for people who don't see any other purpose or understanding in why and how people create. But I also truly think that that is not it's only or best use. I think it can and often is used to create powerful, interesting, thoughtful and clever pieces of art. It takes it's own process to do, much like how hand-drawn art or photoshop takes practice and knowledge to create the thing you want to see in your head. A lack of skill in any of these will produce something uncanny and unsatisfying, just in different ways. (But it's still worth doing, because practice is good and art isn't just about how it looks and is also about the process and about your experience with it.) Is it being used for terrible, annoying, and fascist things right now? Yeah, absolutely. But pencils and paint and chisels and cameras and brushes and digital art programs are also great tools for people who don't think art has any purpose but to look good. Terrible, annoying and fascist movements are going to create terrible, annoying and fascist products using whatever tools they can, and that doesn't make the block of marble itself fascist. And the biggest thing, in the end, is that Fascism and nazis are bad because they destroy things they don't like. The problem wasn't that everyone all of a sudden started just creating the same bland, clean, sterilized style of art because it was easy or fun. The problem was that powerful people decided that this one specific type of art (and person) was 'correct' and then outlawed, destroyed, and slaughtered everything and everyone who thought otherwise.

AI art is... not doing that. Companies and industry were already paying as little as possible for bland and simple art to use for their marketing and using people in other countries with looser labor laws for their call centers, because that's what companies do, because art in marketing is only about what looks good. I remember countless ads with all the same artstyle not because it was created by AI but because it was created by an artist who was being paid to create something bland and simple and sterilized for the purpose of advertising and drawing in customers. AI may have been the next tool that made it even easier, but that was the same of each iteration of increasingly user-friendly art programs, all the way from cameras to Clip Studio. Fascism may be on the rise in the US, but even right now GenAI art itself is not forcing other people to only do that one sterilized art style any more than the brush forced people to create nazi propoganda. And, in the end, AI isn't even doing that good of a job for them. It's too good at doing exactly what it's told. Previously, little pieces of humor and 'soul' and interesting design would sneak into those bland pieces of advertising because the artists they would hire like to create, they would go do a little extra or experiment a little and occasionally that wouldn't get stomped out by the executives and so it would make it through. Now, the executives skip out on the practiced artist and create something themselves. In the past they didn't do that because actually putting pen to paper for the first time is a frustrating experience that shows you don't really know what you're doing yet. But because GenAI can create something that looks how they imagine something is supposed to look, what they want, they don't question it, and they send it out as is. But that's not the AI's fault, that's the fault of a lack of experience. It's the equivalent to a CEO firing their artist, then picking up that artists pencil/paintbrush/digital pen and slapping together a hasty sign that says 'buy my product' with a smiley face on it. And the public can tell that this is the case, and so they don't buy the product, and so it backfires on them. When an experienced artist uses a tool, it can create something interesting and thoughtful and purposeful. No matter the tool, paint, photoshop, or GenAI. (Of course, this doesn't go over how LLMs have been used in marketing and for google searches and pre-installed on every computer, or the biases and racism present in a lot of currently-created LLMS, and that's kind of a completely different conversation and is totally fucked because they don't look up facts they just make stuff up. It's also not a conversation about whether or not AI is theft, which I don't believe it is, but am willing to chat about.)

AI art is a great tool for people who think art's only purpose is to look good

[dollbrbie]

♡ ⸝⸝ IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO SAVE LIVES

featuring. neurosurgeon!gojo | smut mdni, repost :p

neurosurgeon!gojo who you unknowingly meet in a bar on the night before your first day at your new job as a surgical intern. you didn’t really intend to get as drunk as you did, and you didn’t intend to kiss the really cute guy at the bar who had your attention all night. but, you more than definitely didn’t intend to bring him back to your apartment

“oh- fuck.”, you mewl as he continues pounding into your overstimulated pussy, his hand wrapped gently around your neck with the other roughly grabbing onto the plush of your hips. his brows were furrowed as he chases both of your highs with his own faint whimpers, his movements just so perfectly hitting your g-spot as you wrap your legs around his waist and throwing your head back because of the pure euphoria this man you had just met was giving you

neurosurgeon!gojo who wakes up in your bed the next morning, feeling so confused after you just shook his peacefully sleeping figure awake, ranting on at him

“so yeah, you need to leave.”, was the only thing he managed to clock onto after you had been rambling on about something. being late for your first day of work was it? all while he was still figuring out where he was for a second. he thinks you’re cute, though, trying to rush him out of your apartment. can’t say he’s ever had that happen to him before

neurosurgeon!gojo who does eventually leave after you got into the shower with you thinking that was it and you’d never see this ridiculously attractive stranger again

neurosurgeon!gojo who is described as a genius on your first day at work as a surgical intern, as one of the best surgeons in the country. some even would go as far to say the world. you were just so excited to meet and potentially work with him! especially with your interest to specialise in neurosurgery

neurosurgeon!gojo who makes some time in his busy schedule to talk to all the new surgical interns as head of neurosurgery and give some insight and advice to his new colleagues

neurosurgeon!gojo who sees you as he’s talking, his breath caught in his throat and stumbling on his words which go unnoticed by absolutely no one. you sharply inhale, knowing you had just slept with the head of neurosurgery just twelve hours ago - god, was this gonna cause a conflict of interest?

“oh my god, do you know the dr. gojo?”, one of your fellow interns ask as you feel your face heat up in embarrassment, shaking your head and pretending like you’ve never seen this man, when the night before he was eight inches deep inside you

neurosurgeon!gojo who after the talk with the interns, pulls you to the side with a cheeky grin on his face as he mentions the night before while you stand there awkwardly with your hands clasped together

neurosurgeon!gojo who then shamelessly asks you out to dinner, only to be met with your furrowed brows and stern voice telling him that it was inappropriate. he was basically your boss, who was several years older than you at that. not to mention that you’d both get fired if anyone was to find out

neurosurgeon!gojo who takes your rejection as a game, continuing to flirt with you shamelessly any chance he got despite the eye rolls and heavy sighs you met him with

neurosurgeon!gojo who chases you for the next month, even letting you assist in his surgeries after finding out how interested in neurosurgery you were. you wondered if he was simply playing favourites

“did you let me assist because we slept together?”, you ask bluntly, just ripping the bandaid off. “hm? yes i did.”, he admits with a shrug. “do you not realise how inappropriate that is?”, you scoff. “well, that’s what you wanted me to say, wasn’t it? that i chose you because you’re my favourite.” there’s a pause, “i chose you because i thought you were the most capable. believe it or not, i know how to do my job.”

neurosurgeon!gojo who you soon realise isn’t as bad as you originally thought as you continue working with him, his cocky demeanour slipping every so often where you see a genuinely selfless and kind hearted man who just simply wants to save lives

neurosurgeon!gojo who asks you out for a drink, one drink, he says, simply to celebrate a successful surgery on a case that had a 20% chance of survival after your assist with him

neurosurgeon!gojo who is so delightfully surprised when you say yes, his constant days of chasing you finally moving in the direction he wanted, even if it was minimal

neurosurgeon!gojo who ends up buying you both multiple drinks, just as you knew would happen. the both of you were so giggly as you stumble out the bar together, your hand resting on his chest whilst his arm was wrapped around your shoulder

neurosurgeon!gojo who decides to take his chances, the liquid courage definitely hitting his head a little too hard, and pulls you in slowly as he places a small and sweet kiss on your lips, completely taking you by surprise

neurosurgeon!gojo who apologises profusely once he sees your shocked reaction, thinking he’s just fucked up the good night you both were having together

neurosurgeon!gojo who is shut up by you, pulling his shirt so he’s down to your level and roughly kissing him again, the previous worries you had before completely gone and the only thing on your mind was him, and just maybe that mind blowing sex he gave you the first night you met

“take me home?”, you ask as gojo catches on to the real meaning behind your words, smiling to himself as he nods with butterflies in his stomach. maybe his hard work flirting with you had finally paid off

© dollbrbie | don’t plagiarise or translate any of my work

[cherryyluvs]

Little Notes, Big Feelings

Notes in your locker, simple, and anonymous. A little bit sweet. You never expected Mark Grayson confessing that he likes you. ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

It started with a note, neatly folded and tucked in between the vents of your locker. Just barely sticking out and impossible to miss.

You were half asleep still rubbing the exhaustion from your eyes. grabbing the little slip of paper “Pop quiz in Johnson's class today. Hope you studied. (I didn't, Whoops.)"

You blinked at it, turning it over just to see no name, no clue on who wrote it. Just a simple, neat handwriting, and a tiny smiling doodle of Seance dog in the corner. You glanced around the busy hallway, scanning faces. But no one seemed to be watching you. Just students going to their class, laughing with their friends, and stuffing books into their bags.

Weird. But sweet.

After that notes kept coming, little messages that made you smile. “Did you see the new episode of Seance Dog? Crazy right?” Other times they would be personal. “You looked really happy today.” You kept every single one, tucking them into your notebook like they were little treasures. You found yourself looking forward to them, and you wanted to know them too. So one afternoon you decided to write back, slipping a note into your own locker. Leaving it right where the mysterious writer had been placing theirs. “Okay, secret admirer, your turn. Who are you?”

The next morning a reply was waiting. “If i tell you. It ruins the fun doesn't it?” You let out a huff, fine.

If they wanted to play, you’d play. The back and forth went on for weeks! You had asked what their favorite color was (Yellow but sometimes blue) . Some were rants about a new superhero sighting or how the cafeteria’s chicken nuggets are a danger to society. “The cafeteria nuggets are definitely a health hazard. Stay safe out there”

There's a response the next morning, “RIGHT?? I'm glad someone gets it. Also I can neither confirm or deny that I saw one of those nuggets move.” The messages became part of your daily routine, a little secret, something that made the school day a little brighter.

And one day you found a note that made your heart drop.

“Would it be weird if i said i kinda like you?” Your fingers trembled slightly as you held the small piece of paper. This wasn't just playful anymore, this is real. At this point you needed to know who it was.

You waited, keeping an eye out at your locker, hoping to catch them in the act. Whoever they were, they were good at being sneaky. So you tried a different approach.

You left a note in return, simple and direct. “Not weird. Kind of sweet, but I think i'd like it more if I knew who you were.”

The next day there was no note, and after that, nothing. Your heart sank, had you scared them off? Had they changed their mind? It gnawed at you, making you realize just how much these silly little notes meant to you.

And then it finally happened. You were at your locker, gathering books for your next class, when a voice behind you cleared their throat. “Uh… hey.” You turned around to face the stranger and there he was. Mark Grayson, moving nervously on his feet, his easygoing confidence nowhere to be found. He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes but you could see the pink creeping on his cheeks.

It clicked instantly. The handwriting on the notes, the way he always looked in your direction in class when you weren't paying attention. Mark, who was sweet and awkward, always rambling about comics and superhero movies.

“You're-”

He exhaled like he'd been holding his breath for days. “Yeah it's me.” Your heart fluttered, warmth flooding into your chest.

Mark Grayson, you'd noticed him, you never thought if he had noticed you but he had. And for a long time apparently, “So.. was that too weird? He asked hesitantly. “I can stop if-” You shook your head, a small smile creeping onto your face.

Pulling out a pen from your purse and grabbing his wrist, before he could question it, you scribbled onto his palm.

“No, not weird at all.” When he read it, his entire face lit up.

[sakurakuna]

NERD GOJO WHO'S YOUR TA!

synopsis. TA nerd gojo who has a crush on you and gets assigned as your tutor.

content. 18+ explicit content. foul language. public sex. dom/sub undertones. inappropriate relationship. unprotected sex. virginity loss. feminine description used.

note. umm first time posting... enjoy!!

nerdjo, who works as the TA in your chemistry class, and due to your lackluster performance so far in the semester, he gets assigned as your tutor. He's a total nerd whose interests fall outside the typical college student's. Despite that, you still find him to be so cute. He's a little shy and on the quieter side, and his confidence mostly comes through when he's teaching."

nerdjo, who always comes to class early and helps set up labs before the students flock in, is dressed in a sharp white lab coat that pairs well with his shaggy white hair. He always wears his framed glasses, which he constantly has to push up because his head is shoved in some book that you wouldn't even know where to begin to understand.

nerdjo, who didn't even realize that you were no longer listening to his explanation on today's lecture and instead was fantasizing about fucking him in the middle of the dimly lit library that you were studying in. Chemistry was long gone from your mind, and all you could think about was how you desperately craved to see how he’d look as he struggled not cum inside of you.

nerdjo, who only realizes your mind is elsewhere when he glances into your eyes and can tell you didn’t retain a single word he said for the past 20 minutes...at least. He instead notices you're looking at him in a way he can't recall any girl has looked at him before, you were practically staring into his soul with your lust-filled eyes.

nerdjo, who knows it's wrong because he’s your TA but can't help but shamelessly take a glance down at your very low-cut top that pushes the soft skin of your chest together and makes it appear as if you're spilling out of it. He nearly wants to drool at how soft they look under the confines of the fabric and how they would probably fill his hands as he takes your nipples into his—

You caught his wandering eyes shamelessly traveling down your body before quickly lowering his gaze to the book in front of him. You could see his blood rush to his cheeks and create a rosy blush that exposed his embarrassment. His shyness only turned you on even more. Just thinking of being able to ruin your nerdy TA’s innocence made the space between your thighs grow even more wet.

nerdjo, who was now feeling the consequences of his perverted actions and could feel himself growing hard under the table. To try and distract himself, he started rambling on about the lecture again, this time stumbling on his words a concerning amount of times over topics you know he would be able to teach in sleep.

nerdjo, who knew the feelings flooding his body were so wrong. He shouldn't be getting so aroused around one of his students, He shouldn't be noticing how pretty she is, and he really shouldn't be wondering if the color of the bra strap peeking out the side of her top matches her panties! But as much as he tried he just couldn't force the thoughts out of his mind. The once-cold library felt so much warmer, and the space between your chairs didn't feel like enough.

“are you feeling okay? You seem kind of hot,” you asked, playing concerned. You took the opportunity to put your hand on his thigh, causing his leg to almost twitch immediately.

“oh-no m-me? I’m fine!" he stumbles on his words, and your hand continues to brush back and forward his pants, each time subtly getting a little too close to where you shouldn't.

nerdjo, who nearly jumps at the feeling of your getting close to his inner thigh and tries his best to play it off as if you’re not almost massaging his soon-to-be raging bulge in the middle of this empty library right now.

He nervously pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he feels your hand get closer and closer to a place no girl had touched before. He was at a loss for words, barely able to bring himself to protest your actions as his brain was slowly turning to mush the more he felt your touch.

“but you don’t look fine,” you say, feigning worry. You take his cheek in your palm and turn his flustered-horny face to make eye contact with your lust-filled ones.

“I think I know just how to help you though,” you say as you finally move your other hand right on his crotch and begin to massage his painfully hard dick through his pants. He audibly gasps in surprise at your forwardness and can't stop the immediate sigh of pleasure that escapes his lips.

"f-fuck this is so wrong- i-i'm your TA we can't-." He tries to remind you while clearly fighting to hold back his moan and making no actual move to stop your hand.

"But it feels good, doesn't it? you like the way I touch you? You ask while dipping your hand below the waistband of his pants, making the only barrier between you his boxers as you apply even more pressure to his aching cock. You could feel the pre-cum surrounding his tip, already wetting your hand through the fabric. Your voice was so sweet to his ears, paired with the feeling of your hand; it was all too much for him, and he could no longer continue his pathetic fight against you. All he could do was shamelessly nod through his moans.

"You've been such a good boy helping me... It's time you let me help you."

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The once quiet library was now filled with the obscene sounds of gojo's plunging his cock in and out of your poor sopping-wet pussy without holding back in the slightest.

You were the least bit prepared for your nerdy TA's to have so much length and thickness hidden beneath his pants. He was giving you the biggest stretch of your life as he fucked you on the library table with no mercy. It's like his hips had a mind of their own as soon as he sunk into the warmness of your core. And it didn't help that your tight walls were sucking him back in with every stroke, accompanied by squelching sounds of your pussy, driving him even more crazy.

""f-fuckk omggg, this feels so good," he whined as he tilted his head back with his eyes practically glued shut. He couldn't bear to look at you as he felt like he would explode any minute if he made eye contact with you while you were in such an unholy position.

"cmon baby, look at me, look at all the mess you made," you beg him as a loud moan escapes your lips. His dick was hitting places you didn't even know could be reached, and even though there was a slight pain that came with his thickness you found it to be pleasurable.

It made you crave to feel every inch of him inside you, so you lifted your leg onto the table, making his hips press closer into you and giving him a new angle that had him nearly about to shed a tear. He slows down his pace, barely being able to handle the feeling of his fat tip kissing your cervix over and over again. (you couldn't really blame him, it was his first time getting his dick wet.)

"I'm so sorry baby omg m'sorry- if I look I won't last!" he whined apologetically. This position had him stars and the only way to stop himself from filling you up was to try to slow down. He gave you slow but deep strokes that had you feeling every vein of his cock throbbing inside you. He was trying his best not to come quick so he could enjoy the feeling of your pussy longer, he was already so attached. He reached in front of you and took a handful of your chest, squeezing the soft skin of your breast before gently toying with your nipples.

As good as it felt you weren't having any of it. "mm-but don't you want to come inside me?" your question forces his eyes wide open. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, a girl as pretty as you were going to let him cum inside??

"ahh- god, I must dreaming right now." he babbled as his brows scrunched together. 'Such a nerd,' you thought to yourself. Gojo was trying his best not to focus too hard on the feeling of you sucking him in so he could avoid embarrassing himself by cumming on the spot. His movements became more sloppy, which let you know he couldn't hold on for much longer.

"Its not a dream baby- please I need you to fill me up!" you moan out feeling his dick contnously brush against your spot. "I need it all inside me please." you begged while looking into his glossy eyes.

That was his last straw. Without even thinking if you could physically handle it, he quickened his pace, and you nearly choked in surprise at how fast he was fucking you. The library was filled with your sultry sounds harmonizing together. His feverish eyes gazed into yours with desperation. you knew he was close and so were you.

"oh my godd m'cummingg" you cried out to him. your cunt pulsated around his cock, liquid streams gushing out, splashing onto his lower abs and thighs. Your body trembles as your orgasm continues, and he continues to fuck you through it and chase his own. The sight of your orgasm only pushes Gojo completely over the edge.

"baby I'm gonna cumm- baby please, please." he didn't even know what he was begging for at this point. His mind was so far gone that all he could think about was coming inside of you. "It's okay baby let go-"

You could feel his strokes get more and more sloppy and his thighs tremble, his pretty blue eyes rolled back as he finally emptied his aching cum-filled balls into your pussy. You couldn't help but moan as you felt the warmth fill you up. There was so much cum spilling out that it overflowed from within you and traveled down between your legs.

Your bodies succumb to the exhaustion and collapse together on the table. "This must be what heaven feels like," he says breathlessly with only feelings of euphoria running through his brain.

'such a nerd' you smile to yourself.

nerdjo has my heart

[motley-box-rose-1]

This is a really well thought out take on the show! I just finished the series, so I’m still mulling over the feelings and ideas that it left me, but the show as whole felt very…. Not just women-centric, but really focused on marginalized people. Which is probably obvious, because each character could be read in that way, but that aside there does seem to be a definite focus on Bride, Nina, and women in general. Honestly, I don’t think the show comes off as misogynistic at all—or at least not enough for me to get that read on my first watch. All of the female characters feel autonomous, multi-faceted, distinct from one another, visually unique, and are genuinely entertaining. just as importantly, they’re allowed to have moments of horror and vulnerability that reflect types of real experiences that people—and women—go through.

I guess I can admit that the show feels a bit *thirsty* at times, but honestly it feels way less creepy than some actual comic books I’ve read, the superhero genre notoriously being all about showing off abs and butts and boobs. I don’t think it crosses a line beyond in that area, or if it does then I wouldn’t say it focuses that lens exclusively on women.

However, getting back to talking about what you bring up, I’m still trying to piece together the over arching theme(s)—the WHY behind how each episode was structured. The show never gets preachy, but there are some specific moments that stand out as being there to SAY something.

To sum all this up, thanks for pointing out Rick Flag and WHY he was paired with Eric. It makes his role in the narrative much more clear, and also explains and gives context for how he chooses to handle Eric—Rick doesn’t care about Eric’s intentions towards Bride or whether she’d actually want Eric to find her. Maybe it crosses his mind for an instant very early on, when Rick visibly realizes that Eric is totally off his rocker, but he’s obviously willing to set that aside for the sake of pursuing what HE wants and considers more important. And while I wouldn’t label Rick as necessarily a bad guy who has malicious intentions, I don’t see him as a particularly strong character either. And by “strong” I’m referring to moral integrity and backbone. Rick has morals and good intentions, sure, but he neither sticks to his values either Ilana, nor does anything to really help the monsters despite acting like he views them as people and saying he wants the group to trust them. And maybe you could blame the Ilana thing as Rick just being lonely and naive? But that little dalliance and his reaction to Circe’s news comes off as kind of immature, especially when he’s supposed to be an older guy who’s been around the block.

Anyway, that’s just me rambling. Regardless, it’s nice to see some great posts related to this show!

Spoilers for Creature Commandos

I saw a post on her critiquing James Gunn’s portrayal of women in his show Creature Commandos. This post states that he usually does a very good job of writing women, but this just isn’t it and cites Princess Ilana’s sexual advances towards Flag, Nina’s nude portrayals in the bath, The Bride’s backstory, and Amanda Waller’s comments on Circe’s outfit. And while all these criticisms are completely valid I would like to raise a point that these scenes exist to critique the way women are viewed not just in society, but especially in comics

Creature Commandos hinges on women. Women are the center of everything.

Firstly, we have The Bride, who many point out does not even have her own name. She is made for a person who does not care for her or anyone yet feels entitled to her to the point of pursuing her for centuries, determined to capture her even if he has to knock her unconscious to do it. She is groomed by her father and taken advantage of. Eric’s continued pursuant of her leads to him teaming up with Flag.

Next, we have Rick Flag who initially comes off as a stand up guy. He doesn’t like the sexual advances of Princess Ilana… until he does. It’s repeated that he’s a much older man, which while he’s hot, leads to him infantilizing her. He views her as this innocent princess which is why Circe’s vision causes him to flip out and show his true colors. He immediately tries to accuse Circe of lying, and when no one believes him states that Themyscira isn’t event real, to which he has to be reminded that it is. His next action is then to team with Eric and try to discredit the expert on Themyscira. He refuses to see women outside of how he wants to see them, and while he’s not entitled and violent like Eric they are teamed up together thematically for a reason because they will burn the world down to get the girl they believe is theirs whether that girl exists or not.

On that topic, Themyscira is brought up as a recurring theme throughout the show. Almost every episode it is brought up in some capacity and it’s very existence is constantly called into question by the men of the series. The news anchor says it may not exist despite the fact that Circe is there in the present. Rick Flag denies it exists, and must be reminded it is. Despite this he stalks a woman and breaks into her house to prove that 1. She’s full of shit and 2. She’s not a real expert. When Themyscira is acknowledged to exist it is met with blatant misogyny.

The picture used on the news is of girls in bikinis. The Sons of Themyscira feel entitled to it because it is a land of all women. Even when Flag is corrected by someone about Themyscira’s existence that man then says that a land of women sounds like heaven, implying sex. Even Waller comments on the inherent sexuality of Circe’s costume.

To that comment, I think it is meant to point out how sexualized female characters are. Something we saw with Suicide Squad (2016) vs Birds of Prey, is a break down of the male versus female gaze. What does a woman’s outfit look like when it’s designed for sex appeal vs practicality. I think Waller’s call to attention to Circe’s outfit is to call into question would SHE dress herself this way? Obviously male artists are going to draw her that way, but why does SHE choose it. It meta-reflects how women are being portrayed in comics especially when most female costumes start out hyper-sexualized.

Finally, Nina nude. I think, once again, this is done intentionally and on purpose. Nina is the only character who does not want to kill. She hasn’t. She has no abilities outside of the water and really shouldn’t be on the team. She’s vulnerable, but you don’t see how vulnerable she really is until it’s shown her naked, cramped into a tiny bathtub. She’s alone and out of place despite literally being in her element, and she still has no protection. She is physically vulnerable the way the The Bride, Ilana, Circe and all women are vulnerable to the male gaze and men’s attitudes towards them.

Female solidarity is what keeps the plot moving, and male Interference is what creates the drama and conflict. Circe views Ilana as a literal threat, not just a helpless princess. Amanda Waller believes Circe immediately, and when there are still doubts she calls in an expert. She trusts The Bride to lead the team because the Bride won’t fuck Ilana. The Bride looks after and protects Nina because she knows Nina isn’t supposed to be in jail or in a combat situation at all. However, Flag’s infantilization of Ilana + Eric’s violent entitlement towards The Bride has led to a horrible team which have jeopardized the mission and may have caused Circe’s future to come true.

In conclusion, let James Gunn cook.

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Anxious No More

Pairing: Poly 141 x Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, emotional overwhelm, comfort, soft poly relationship, lots of fluff, protective and affectionate 141.

Author’s Note: I use this GIF way too much-

Summary: Feeling overwhelmed has become a constant struggle, but your boys always notice when the weight of the world gets too heavy. Each of them has their own way of pulling you back to safety—reminding you that you’re not alone.

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

You weren’t sure when it started—the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed, like the world was pressing in too fast, too loud, too much. Every little thing felt like a weight on your shoulders, every decision another drop in the ocean of uncertainty threatening to drown you. The pressure sat heavy on your chest, coiling like an iron band around your ribs, making it hard to breathe, hard to think.

But somehow, amidst all the noise, they became your refuge.

Johnny

Johnny was the first to notice.

"Yer thinking too much again, aren’t ya?" His voice was warm, teasing, but his eyes were sharp, watching you closely.

You were sitting in the common room, curled up on the couch, shoulders hunched forward, your hands clenched into fists in your lap. You hadn’t realized how tense you were until Johnny plopped down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders with a casual ease that only he could manage.

"Hey, c’mon," he nudged you lightly with his shoulder. "Can’t have ya stressin’ yourself into an early grave. If ya do, who’s gonna listen to my awful jokes?"

You huffed, a weak smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Johnny grinned. "Ah, there it is. See? That’s better."

Instead of prying, he started rambling about something ridiculous—some past mission that involved Kyle getting chased by an angry old woman with a broom.

"Swear on me life, love, I’ve never seen the man run so fast. You’d think a whole army was after him, but nah—just an old granny screamin’ bloody murder."

It was impossible not to laugh. Johnny always had a way of pulling you out of your own head, grounding you in the moment.

When he felt you relax against him, he pressed a kiss to your temple, his arm tightening around you. "That’s my girl. No more thinkin’. Just stay here with me."

Kyle

Kyle was always the one to step in when things got really bad.

It had been a long day. A heavy day. By the time you made it back to your room, your chest was too tight, your thoughts racing too fast. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, like the walls were closing in.

Kyle found you sitting on the edge of the bed, your head in your hands. He didn’t say anything at first—just sat beside you, resting his hand on your back, rubbing slow, gentle circles.

"Alright, love. We’re gonna do this together, yeah? Five things you can see."

You swallowed hard, blinking through the fog. "Uh… the window. The lamp. Your hands."

"Good. Keep going."

Four things you could touch. Three you could hear. Two you could smell. One you could taste.

By the time you finished, your breathing had evened out, the tightness in your chest easing. Kyle smiled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"See? You’re alright. I’ve got you."

Instead of leaving, he pulled you against him, letting you rest your head on his chest, his arms warm and steady around you.

"Whenever it gets bad, just find me, yeah? You don’t have to do this alone."

John

John didn’t need to say much—his presence alone was enough to make you feel safer.

"You're carrying too much, sweetheart," he murmured one evening, finding you staring out at the base through the window, lost in thought. His voice was low, rough but gentle. "You don’t have to do it alone."

Sometimes, he’d just sit with you, handing you a cup of tea without a word. Other times, he’d pull you into his lap, wrapping you in his arms, pressing slow kisses to your shoulder.

"You’re too hard on yourself," he murmured one night, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your back. "You give so much to everyone else—let us take care of you too, yeah?"

There was no arguing with him when he used that voice, and honestly, you didn’t want to.

Simon

Simon didn’t talk much, but he always knew when you needed him.

One night, the weight of the world pressed down too hard, and you broke. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t quiet. You hadn’t meant for anyone to see, but Simon found you, your back pressed against the cold concrete wall of the hallway, your breaths coming too fast.

He didn’t hesitate.

He just wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, holding you there like he could shield you from everything.

"Breathe," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve got you."

No judgment. No questions. Just his steady heartbeat against your ear, his warmth anchoring you back to reality. His gloved hand slid up and down your back, slow and firm, and after a few moments, he pressed his masked face against the top of your head, exhaling quietly.

"You’re not alone."

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, wrapped in his arms, but by the time you pulled away, your breathing had evened out, and the worst of the storm had passed.

Simon didn’t say anything else. He just gave your hand a final squeeze before leading you back to your shared quarters, where the others were waiting.

---

Together, They Were Home

Later that night, you found yourself curled up in the middle of the bed, a tangle of limbs and warmth surrounding you.

Johnny was wrapped around your back, his arm draped over your waist, his breath warm against your neck. Kyle was on your other side, his fingers laced with yours, thumb stroking slow circles over your knuckles.

John was at the foot of the bed, propped up on his elbow, watching over all of you with quiet protectiveness.

And Simon? Simon was behind you, his large, steady hand resting against your ribs, feeling the rise and fall of your breath as if making sure you were still there, still safe.

"Y’alright, love?" Kyle murmured sleepily, squeezing your hand.

You nodded, a soft warmth settling in your chest.

"Yeah."

Johnny nuzzled closer, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. "That’s my girl."

John chuckled, his hand resting on your ankle. "Get some rest, sweetheart. We’ve got you."

You weren’t sure when it started—the feeling of being safe.

But with them?

You weren’t drowning anymore.

You were finally learning how to breathe.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[quarterlifekitty]

I'm very new to your blog(introduced through people I follow reblogging your work) so I've seen a few things and enjoy it a lot

Though one is always like lingering in my head and likely won't go away until I get this out(Excuse my rambling)

It's your hybrid fic with Ghost as a cougar and reader as a cat.

You don't have to make another or anything if you don't want to, but I guess I just keep wondering what happens next.

Like does Ghost stalk the house now that he's kicked out, waiting for a chance to come back in? Do Soap and Ghost ever directly interact with each other?

Stuff like that.

Have a good day/night

I’m happy you liked that one!! I thought about it last night

In the version where Soap comes in, Simon was never allowed in the house by Price. Because he’s a dangerous wild animal.

I imagine Simon stalks the edges of the property, watching his princess through the windows and seething mostly. But he also tries to make himself useful— he kills all the predators that try to get onto the property. Price hasn’t had issues with the foxes going after his chickens in months.

And he’s laying fresh kills on the doorstep. Which John does not like. It’s bloody. But… he doesn’t want to just dispose of it. Why waste it when a poor bunny gave up their life? It’s fresh and clean, so he does end up skinning it and processing it. He cooks up a healthy portion of it for you and Johnny, laying the plate in your favorite basking window.

Simon watches with interest from the tree line as you come up to sniff at the new meal. He can tell that’s the rabbit he got for you. His ears flatten and he bares his teeth to the night air when he sees Soap follow you up. That’s for mama. Not you. He expects the bastard to just dig right in anyways.

He’s surprised when Soap pushes the dish towards you, then turns around, peering out the window and scanning his eyes over the property. He’s trying to protect you while you’re eating and vulnerable— so he hasn’t lost his instinct after all, Simon thinks. Soap narrows his eyes when he sees Simon lurking in the dark, and then he smiles. You’d told Johnny about him. What he looked like.

You keep trying to offer up the food for Johnny, and he keeps smiling and shaking his head. It’s not until you yawn and leave to go by the fireplace to sleep (not before you share a sloppy kiss) that he eats up what you left behind.

Simon feels some type of way about that. His possessiveness gives way a little bit.

Meanwhile, John is having second thoughts about Simon. He can tell there’s a reason he hasn’t had any issues with foxes and wolves lately, and you really enjoyed the fresh meat. Simon was keeping you fed and protected even from a distance. Maybe he’ll set up a catio or something….

[len-yx]

Mydei’s glaring queer coding (fixed)

(By the same person who did the twitter thread :))

First things first. Please be normal if I get something wrong. I have put so much effort into research (I am so dedicated to doing that stupid thread justice) and would like to be spoken too as if I’m an actual person who got something wrong and not like some evil being sent to intentionally spreading misinformation. I know people are much more forgiving on here than they are on twitter but my anxiety was fuck all after that original thread and I’m pretty nervous putting myself in that same situation but am desperate to not have that thread be “The Mydei queer-coding thread” that people use as reference when talking about Mydei’s queer coding. That’s all. Apologies for rambling. Onwards we go!

Amphoreus draws heavily from Ancient Greek (and Roman) influences. Greek (and Roman) armies were known for the fact same-sex relationships were viewed pretty uniquely. It was common and even encouraged for soldiers to form intimate relationships. I do want to mention (though not very relevant to Mydei’s queer coding) that despite this, Greece was not that queer normative (mostly). Yes, gay sex was typical, but it was still considered shameful to be penetrated and the most accepted form of two men in a relationship was pederasty. Which was a relationship between an adult male (usually of higher class), and a young boy in his teens. Really the higher class were the only ones that didn’t have to be concerned about judgment and their specific role in a relationship. I suppose Mydei is upper class anyway. So. This was all just something I thought was worth mentioning.

All of Mydei’s Kremnoan companions had references to Greek history tied to Alexander the Great (it’s actually very interesting I advise seeking out the meanings of their names yourself (and it’s further evidence that Mydei’s ties to Alexander the Great is far from coincidences and unreasonable stretches)). Hephaestion specifically is a reference to Alexander the Great’s closest friend and potential lover of the same name. Both the real Hephaestion and the one from HSR die of illness rather than in battle, how both were expected to die, leaving Alexander/Mydei to mourn alone. Hephaestion’s (HSR) death has extra attention drawn to it by not only being the last to die of the companions but also both Mydei and Hephaestion emphasising their close friendship. Calling one another things such as “dear friend”, “most trusted companion” etc. And with a real life comparison for this death it only emphasises how big of a deal Hephaestion’s death is meant to be for Mydei.

Funnily enough Alexander the Great’s mother, Olympias, actually claimed to be a descendant of Achilles who Mydei also has multiple references to.

There are many versions of how Achilles gained his immortal body, one being that as a baby his mother dipped him in the river Styx, holding onto him by his ankle. Similarly, Mydei’s immortal body was made known/gained (I don’t believe it’s clear?) after being thrown into the sea of souls also as a baby with a matching ”Achilles heel” in the form of his tenth thoracic vertebra.

The exact intent of Achille’s and Patroclus' relationship is very very debated. And Homer isn’t responding to my emails for an interview. But I do want to remind everyone that this isn’t about “was Achilles and Alexander in relationships with their best friends” (though neither of the two’s queerness is actually up for debate, they both had multiple romantic endeavours with men) but about how some of the reasons historians believe why the two were queer are used in Mydei’s character and why I believe this was intentionally done by hoyoverse. Achilles and Patroclus have been a symbol of close male relationships since the myth was realised, Alexander the Great even comparing his relationship with Hephaestion to the two. I’ve seen a few people saying that Phainon has some looser similarities to Patroclus however I have not yet read The Iliad (I just don’t have the time I’m very sorry) so I can’t speak on how intentional these similarities seem.

However, Mydei and Phainon do parallel another duo very deeply, Mydei’s own parents, Queen Gorgo and King Eurypon. Mydei and Phainon’s first meeting was a duel lasting ten days and nights that ended in a draw, the same as with Eurypon and Gorgo’s infamous first meeting at the Kremnos festival. Except instead of a close companionship forming after their draw, Eurypon promptly proposed to Gorgo. During 3.0 when Phainon challenges Mydei to a competition to see who can kill more titankin, he uses the phrasing “Just you and me. Let’s recreate the original Kremnos Festival.” On top of that, in 3.1 while retrieving Phainon from the trial we run into ”Chartonus” (quotations because it’s within the trial) Mydei tries to ask “Chartonus” where Phainon is and “Chartonus” has an angry rant before throwing Queen Gorgo’s signet ring at him. The ring isn’t brought up again until Mydei and Phainon’s goodbye. Mydei waits until the last moment to question if Phainon was the one who told Chartonus about his mother’s ring. Phainon’s response is just “who knows” but it’s pretty clear that the audience is at least meant to believe Phainon was the one who told Chartonus about it. There is one other thing that may tie Phainon and Mydei’s relationship to Eurypon and Gorgo. However it’s pretty much theory crafting and even leaks so I’ll just leave it at that.

It’s become almost a pattern in HSR to have deeply queer coded duo’s be compared to animals, specifically a predator animal and a prey animal (e.g. Acheron and Blackswan.) During the scene in the baths the bath sprite compares Mydei to a lion and Phainon to an oryx before describing the dynamic between the animals. Cut to a black screen with the two moaning due to the hot steam and the bath sprite continues describing the lion hunting the oryx in detail reminiscent of the “Rondo Across Countless Kalpas” animated short of Acheron (a variant of a lesbian character) and Blackswan (a woman who’s relationship with other female characters are placed on a higher pedestal) doing the tango. The bath scene is very much a mix of a joke and fanservice but in the context of a rather genuinely queer coded relationship I am treating it as a more genuine innuendo. Just before deciding on the bath competition we get to see Mydei’s internal dialogue and him struggling to figure out how to comfort Phainon after failing the demigod trial, intentionally creating a more intimate atmosphere. Phainon uses rather suggestive language when proposing the competition such as “Maybe we both need to relieve some stress” deliberately creating a charged atmosphere.

In the end Mydei’s character is deeply intertwined with historical narratives of male bonds, grief, and devotion that have been read through a queer lens for centruies. Whether through his parallels to Achilles and Alexander the Great, his profound connection with Phainon or Hoyoverse’s own storytelling patterns, the intent behind his characterization feels undeniably deliberate.

[mathewryf]

This is doing the same thing to me that the Sonic Forces Character Creator did: It's making me want to sit down and design my Sonic-sona (again) I need time and energy to sit down and do this dammit xD

Here's mine. At least, this is the version that sort of reflects me. Putting my rambling under a read more because this managed to make me type despite how tired I am!!!

The parts that are solidified: Dog as the species, Tails as my favorite character, my first memories are with movies/anime (both Sonic X and the OVA are part of my early memories, but apparently there's a lot of Sonic my older brothers showed me that I don't remember), and lastly, the Characters as what appeals to me most.

My favorite fan activity is listed as "other" because it's hard for me to pick one favorite thing. Maybe if there was a "deep analysis of the characters, stories and themes" option I would have picked that xD

As for favorite game: I picked Sonic Adventure 2 Battle because it hits some sort of common ground for the things I look for in Sonic. Both of the Adventure Games, Heroes and Unleashed sit at the top of my "favorite Sonic game" lists consistently, and I'm always cycling through them. That said, I haven't experienced every game first hand, nor have I even experienced everything the games I have played have to offer. That's one thing I love about the games: I'm always finding new ways to appreciate them, and new experiences. I only recently got to playing my copy of Black Knight, and it's like I was suddenly home again.

Now, some notes on the avatar:

I chose dog as a species because I am constantly compared to dogs IRL, and dogs IRL seem to really like me.

I go back and forth on whether to have the folded ears or the pointed ears due in part to the kinds of dogs I get compared to. if it was possible I'd have one ear pointed and one ear folded down xD

For the eyes, I went with a rounder shape because I'm a bit of a shy doofus IRL. To the point where I can be a bit too passive. I chose blue for the color because it was as close as I could get to my real eye color (central heterochromia B/G)

I chose red for the fur here because I actually used to have red hair! There's still shades of it present, especially when the sun hits it.

I went with the typical muzzle color because I'm basic™

As for the outfit, every time I come to this part I always ask myself "if I had my choice and money was no issue, what would I wear?"

Somehow I always come back to a leather jacket. I've tried ponchos, hoodies, hell I've even experimented with vests, but leather jackets just call to me.

As for the gloves, the ones I picked were to match the jacket, but the gloves I actually prefer to wear are a specific style of safety glove!

Building off of that, I also am extremely picky about footwear! To the point I know my boot size off the top of my head xD

I chose the boots in the profile card because they were the closest to the boots I wear IRL, but even then it leaves a lot to be desired. There weren't any shoes that reflected my casual shoes, either... what a travesty!

For context, here's a picture of the exact boot I wear for work:

And here's a picture of my casual shoes:

If it wasn't obvious, I did a LOT of thinking when I was making this card xD

It's funny, actually: I can put so much thought into something like this, but I can't ever seem to bring that energy out when I'm trying to actually draw what I see in my mind.

Someday I will, though. It matters that much to me!

ok so the new Sonic Channel fursona maker is in Japanese. Obviously. So for those of us who can't read Japanese very well, here's a rundown of the Profile page translations so you can work it accurately without defaulting to a translate page every five seconds!

Special thanks to @krafterwrites and @sonicbible for their help!!!! Esp sonicbible for helping me translate what my websites could not lmao

Selections under the cut!

Favorite Character

Can I just say? Sticks being included FLOORED me. Like there's my GIIIIRL. Also Maria??? MEPHILES??? Hello???

Favorite Game

SONIC SHUFFLE AND CHRONICLES APPEARANCE?????

What was your first Sonic experience?

What is your favorite fan activity?

What do you like about Sonic?

ALRIGHT GANG GO FORTH AND MAKE YOUR OCS. AND LET THEM KNOW WE LOVE SONIC SHUFFLE

[twstyuna]

Uninvited

Notes/rambling below cut.

This takes place post Book 7. I am not entirely sure I grasp the specifics of Silver's UM in the identifying dreamer with a bird sense and the logics of darkness characters and dream outfits. Just assume some kind of lucid dreaming here and roll with it if I broke canon haha.

This be one of the ghost! Skullys.

He's not keeping Yuu asleep in the Malleus sense, just helping Yuu dream of something happy since they get stress dreams and Overblot nightmares a lot. Their idea of happy is apparently their friends being fellow human schoolmates in their world and never having been isekaied. (Grim is a sassy but otherwise normal cat they own at home. It functions more like high school than college because Yuu isn't sure what a normal world college experience is like). Yuu wakes up, forgets Skully's existence and their dreams, lives the day, goes to bed, and Skully helps set up their boring slice of life dreamscape again

Overall benign but Skully's vibes are still too suspicious for Silver though lol. I think Skully would have kept the schoolmate/just a dream character guise if Silver didn't immediately try to fight him. In Silver's defense, Skully did glare.

Had this thought before I read book 7 but I like to think this is validating. From Book 7 Ch 111. Ghostly Oneiromancy go brr.

Skully's relationship with Yuu is platonic.

I think Silver's stumbled in Yuu's dreams before Skully came around but they both forgot

I think the 6 panels with Silver and Yuu are fun. Either Yuu sees Silver and greets him first or they're parallel which means Silver smiles first.

Left a little longer and Yuu might realize "Oh Silver's here" means "Oh I'm dreaming" and immediately wake up.

I imagine that Skully lived a whole life then died, but looks like a student because he really wished he could have been friends and had a fun school life with the NBC event boys . So I suppose him crashing Yuu's dreams/helping Yuu dream of a normal life may not be entirely altruistic then, but I would still like to think that is secondary to giving some comfort to the kid who was your friend lifetimes ago and who has not been having an easy time since getting spirited away to twisted wonderland

Alternative possible reasons for him looking young/relatively the same:

I do not know how to draw an older version of a character

Ghosts may be kind of immortal but their memory isn't. The Ramshackle Ghosts are blobs. Skully's painting was of him still relatively young so that's the appearance he assumes.

Actively trying to monitor Yuu in their dream and the easiest way to blend in is to just look like that so he's in their classes and such. Somewhere in Yuu's subconscious, Yuu remembers Skully being a friendly presence so there being another member in the friend group doesn't stick out.

[bjlipss]

synopsis: you have a huge crush on suguru, right? so why is that your heart starts beating faster only when satoru appears. and why does he act like he knows it.

miyan’s notes: yay!! i like this. enjoy!!

part 1

you don’t even realize when it happens.

one day, you’re still sighing over suguru, watching the way he ties his hair back before training, admiring how effortlessly cool he is, and then—somewhere along the way—your focus starts shifting. not all at once, not in any dramatic way, but in little, subtle moments.

like when you enter a room, and instead of searching for suguru first, your eyes automatically flicker to messy white hair, scanning for that familiar, towering frame. or when something funny happens, and you catch yourself turning to tell satoru first, laughing before you even realize he’s already looking at you, grinning like he was waiting for your reaction.

you don’t think much of it at first. gojo has always been there, always loud, always impossible to ignore. he’s just—gojo. annoying, arrogant, a constant presence in your life whether you want him there or not.

but then, you stop talking about suguru as much. you don’t even notice at first, but shoko does.

“you used to bring him up every five seconds,” she says one day, exhaling smoke as she watches you from the corner of her eye. “now it’s just satoru this, satoru that. what happened to your lovesick little crush?”

you blink, caught off guard. what happened? you don’t know. but as you think about it, you realize suguru’s name doesn’t come up in your thoughts as often anymore. you stop trying so hard to be near suguru, but you do find yourself lingering when gojo’s around. you don’t hold your breath when suguru walks past you anymore, but you do when gojo leans in too close, his familiar, teasing grin a little softer than before.

you stop staring at suguru with admiration, but you do watch gojo when he’s not paying attention, when his guard is down and he’s just a boy with the world on his shoulders. when you walk into a room, your first instinct isn’t to find him. when you want to share something, it’s not his reaction you’re looking forward to.

instead, your days are filled with satoru—his dumb jokes, his stupid antics, the way he somehow always manages to drag you into whatever nonsense he’s up to. he annoys you, gets in your space, pokes at you until you snap, and then grins like it’s all part of some big, amusing game.

except—except when did it stop annoying you?

when did you start rolling your eyes but laughing instead of groaning? when did you start letting him pull you closer without shoving him away? when did your stomach start flipping when he leans in too close, when his fingers brush against yours absentmindedly, when he grins at you with something just a little softer in his expression? something you rejected even though you noticed

and then it happens. the realization slams into you out of nowhere—like walking straight into a glass door you didn’t see coming.

you’re sitting outside after training, stretched out on the grass, listening to satoru ramble about something or other. you’re not even really paying attention to what he’s saying, just watching him, the way his hands move animatedly when he talks, the way his lips quirk up at the edges, the way his sunglasses are slipping down just enough for you to catch a glimpse of bright blue beneath.

and then he turns to you, catching your stare, and grins. “what? do i have something on my face?”

your heart stumbles. and it hits you all at once.

oh.

oh no.

you panic. this wasn’t supposed to happen. you were supposed to like suguru. you were supposed to get flustered around him, supposed to daydream about him, supposed to be thinking about ways to impress him. but here you are, sitting next to satoru, feeling your heart pound over a simple smile.

you try to deny it at first. try to brush it off, tell yourself it’s just because you spend too much time together, because he’s always around, always teasing, always pulling you into his orbit whether you like it or not. that’s just how satoru is, no? a magnetic force, a pull no one can resist— except, they can and you don’t even try.

but then he tugs on your sleeve, pulling you closer as he whines, “you’re ignoring me again,” like he’s entitled to your attention, like it’s only natural that you look at him, and you don’t pull away. you let him hold onto you, let his fingers linger against the fabric of your uniform. let him mess up your collar and your hair and give him a halfhearted glare instead of cursing his bloodline.

and when he grins at you, pinkish lips glistening with your lip balm he likes to use, something warm curls in your chest.

you’re doomed.

the worst part? satoru notices.

he notices the way you don’t stumble over your words around suguru anymore. how you greet him with a smile that is more casual than anything else before your gaze moves to satoru and you beam because he is already looking at you. the way your gaze lingers on him now, worry seeping into you whenever he looks out of it. the way you get quiet whenever he gets a little too close, whenever his hand brushes yours, whenever his knee bumps into yours. whenever he tilts his head and watches you with that smirk like he knows exactly what’s going on in your head.

he doesn’t say anything at first. just keeps teasing you, keeps nudging into your space, keeps tugging on your sleeve whenever you start looking at anything that isn’t him. hopes that you’re smart enough to realise what is happening on your own, with a little help from him.

and then, on a sunny afternoon, when you’re watching him a little too closely, lips parted like you were about to say something and forgot���he leans in, way too close, and smirks.

“huh. looks like someone finally came to their senses.”

your breath catches in your throat.

you don’t move, don’t blink—don’t even breathe—because satoru is inches from your face, smirking like he’s just won a game you didn’t even realize you were playing.

your brain short-circuits. your heart is hammering, and you can’t tell if it’s from the sheer audacity of him getting this close, or from the slow, sinking realization that he might be right.

you have come to your senses. and it’s terrifying.

“wh-what are you talking about?” you stammer, trying—and failing—to lean away without looking like you’re running. but satoru follows, resting his chin in his palm, his elbow propped on his knee, his whole body angling toward you like he has all the time in the world to sit here and watch you squirm.

his smirk deepens. “oh, don’t play dumb now. it was kinda cute when you were still pretending, but—” he reaches out, flicking your forehead, grinning when you scowl and swat at his hand. “—i know you like me.”

your entire body jolts with panic. does he? you were barely figuring it out yourself, barely coming to terms with the idea that maybe—just maybe—your crush on suguru had been a distraction, something safe, something comfortable. that maybe—just maybe—what you actually felt, what had been sneaking up on you all this time, was something much more dangerous.

because he always felt so unreachable despite how close he always was. so it was much easier to ignore that there might just be something for him.

and if satoru knows that? if he sees it? then what the hell are you supposed to do?

“y-you’re delusional,” you mutter, turning away, hoping—praying—that if you don’t look at him, he’ll drop it.

he doesn’t. of course, he doesn’t.

“am i?” he hums, tilting his head like he’s considering it, like this is just some casual conversation and not your entire world tilting on its axis.

you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, crossing your arms over your chest, refusing to meet his eyes. but the heat creeping up your neck betrays you.

satoru clicks his tongue. “see, if you really didn’t like me, you’d be yelling at me by now. pushing me away. threatening to beat me up even though we both know that’s impossible.”

you glare at him. “i could try.”

his grin is blinding. “ooh, feisty. you do like me.”

“do not.”

“do too.”

“i don’t—”

and then his hand is on your wrist. gentle, loose—barely a touch at all, really—but it’s enough to stop you mid-sentence, to make your heart stutter so violently in your chest you’re sure he can hear it.

his fingers brush over the inside of your wrist, tracing slow, lazy circles, and you swear your entire body is on fire.

“you do.” he says again, but this time his voice is softer, lacking its usual teasing lilt.

you swallow. hard.

you should pull away. you should.

but you don’t.

because the truth is, the second he touched you, something inside you melted, something warm and terrifying curling low in your stomach. and the worst part is—you like it. you can’t even deny it.

you like the way he touches you without hesitation, like he belongs there, like you belong there. in his arms that feel endless and in his hold that feels the closest. you like the way he looks at you, sky blue eyes sharp and knowing, like he’s peeling back every excuse, every ounce of denial, and seeing you.

you like him.

oh, you’re so screwed.

“…so what if i do?” the words slip out before you can stop them, your voice quieter than you’d like, but satoru hears them anyway.

his smirk fades. for a moment, just a second, something flashes in his expression—something that makes your stomach flip, something real.

“then,” he murmurs, thumb pressing against your pulse, feeling it race under his touch, “i win.”

your breath shudders.

he’s too close. too warm, too confident, too much. you can smell his shampoo, feel the slight weight of his hand, the steady rhythm of his breathing. your body is screaming at you to do something, to move, to say something, to react.

so you do the only thing you can think of.

you flick his forehead back. hard.

“ow—!” satoru reels back, dramatically clutching his forehead like you’ve just dealt a fatal blow. “betrayal! and after i was so nice to you!”

“you deserved it.” your face is still burning, your heart still racing, but at least he’s not touching you anymore.

he pouts, rubbing the spot between his brows. “you’re just mad because i’m right.”

you are, but you’ll never admit it.

instead, you roll your eyes, shoving yourself to your feet, brushing imaginary dust off your uniform. “i’m leaving.”

“aww, don’t go, i was just starting to enjoy this.”

you ignore him, willing your legs to move, but then—

“wait.”

his voice is different this time. not playful, not teasing—something else, something more serious.

you freeze.

he pushes himself up, stretching his arms above his head before shaking them out, like he’s psyching himself up for something.

then he grins at you, tilting his head. “come on a date with me.”

your heart stops.

you turn to him slowly, carefully, because surely you misheard him. surely he didn’t just say what you think he said.

“…what?”

he raises an eyebrow. “a date. y’know, where two people hang out because they like each other? ring any bells?”

your mouth opens, then closes. then opens again. no words come out.

he waits, watching your expression with a smug little smirk, like he knew he was going to break you.

finally, you manage to find your voice. “you’re asking me out?”

“mhm.”

“because…?”

he sighs, dramatic as ever, running a hand through his hair. “because, my dear oblivious kouhai, i like you.”

your stomach twists.

“you… you do?”

“duh.” his tone is light, but there’s something underneath it, something steadier.

your head spins. “but—but you never—”

he shrugs. “figured i’d let you figure it out first. wouldn’t be fair if i did all the work, y’know?”

you stare at him.

gojo satoru likes you.

gojo satoru, the most annoying person alive, the strongest sorcerer of your generation, the boy who has been pulling you into his orbit from the second you met him—he likes you.

your hands are clammy. your face is on fire. your heart is a mess.

but then he reaches for your wrist again, tugging gently, looking down at you with that same insufferable, familiar grin.

“so? what do you say?”

and, somehow, impossibly, your lips curve into a smile.

“…okay.”

your lips barely part before satoru grins like he’s already won. like he knew what your answer was going to be, like he was just waiting for you to finally catch up.

“okay?” he echoes, stepping closer, still holding your wrist in his hand, his thumb brushing over your pulse.

you swallow hard, willing your heart to calm down—but it’s impossible when he’s standing so close, his entire presence swallowing up the space around you, making it impossible to focus on anything but him.

“okay,” you repeat, firmer this time.

his grin softens—just a little, just enough that it makes your stomach flip in a completely different way. and then his grip on your wrist shifts, fingers lacing through yours instead, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

and maybe, you think, maybe it is.

“good,” he murmurs, voice dropping just slightly, eyes flickering over your face. his gaze is heavy, unreadable, and you don’t realize you’re holding your breath until he tilts his head and smirks. “so… do i get a kiss now, or do i have to wait until the actual date?”

your face burns. “excuse me?”

“what? i think i deserve one, after everything. y’know, for my patience.”

“you bullied me for months—”

“—lovingly—”

“—because you knew i liked suguru—”

“—past tense, nice—”

“—and now you want a kiss?”

“…yes?”

you gape at him, heat prickling the back of your neck. you should say no. you should shove him away, roll your eyes, something, because that’s how it always is with him.

but instead, you find yourself staring—at his lips, at the way they quirk up in amusement, at the way he’s still watching you so intently, like he wants you to kiss him just as badly as he wants to tease you about it.

you want to.

you really, really want to.

so before you can overthink it, before you can talk yourself out of it, you tug him forward, standing on your toes and pressing your lips against his.

satoru makes a small noise of surprise, but he recovers fast—his grip tightening around your hand, his free arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you in close as he kisses you back.

and it’s—

it’s dizzying.

his lips are warm, unfairly soft, and he kisses you like he knew this was going to happen, like he’s been waiting for this, like he’s making sure you know—that you feel—that this isn’t a joke to him. that he meant it.

he likes you.

his fingers curl against your back, pressing you against him, deepening the kiss just slightly, just enough that your knees go weak, just enough that you have to grab onto him to keep yourself steady, his uniform creasing between your fingers.

and when you finally pull away, breathless and dazed, he doesn’t let you go.

instead, he presses his forehead against yours, grinning so wide you can feel it, his fingers still tangled with yours.

“…yeah,” he breathes, voice warm and smug and so stupidly fond. “definitely worth the wait.”

you groan, shoving at his chest, but you don’t pull away—not really. you don’t want to.

temporary taglist: @booklova0-0 @sttm99 @linaaeatsfamilies @sylusonlylove @enyathedrakaina @paintedperidot @fawnfaer

[lostinlovingrevery]

Domestic bliss with Logan 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Hubby

Logan Howlett X Reader

Married life suits him

A/N: Thought of this ask today while I was working on a build project and came up with this!!! Enjoy <3 I want to be married to this man- also any Logan could be imagined, but Origins certainly has hubby vibes doesn't he? :)

Warnings: Married life, a lil short thing about mutants, suggestive ending ;), Logan nesting like crazy

"They're just people, mutants are just people with special abilities. I don't hold that against them! They deserve a normal life as everyone does-"

The talk show host rambled on and on. The usual spiel over mutants and their place in the world. Men in suits talking about the rights of people again; as if they were God and had any choice in what a man did and didn't deserve.

Logan wasn't really listening to it though. Background noise that he tuned out for the most part. He just liked having the old radio playing, kept him from drifting too far into his mind.

Occasionally it would start to static, losing it's connection and he'd reach over and bang on it- mess with the antenna. You've offered a hundred times to buy him a brand new radio, but he's insisted that this was perfectly fine. Why waste the money?

The smell of cigars and cut lumber filled the space- his workshop. Inside what was actually a barn at one point, but no animals to keep in it yet. You want goats and chickens- he plans to surprise you with a few baby chicks around late spring- once he gets a chicken coop built.

He puffed on his cigar a few times, before blowing smoke up into the air, while he examined the drafts he's been working on all morning. Dusty and smudged from multiple times he's had to erase and redraw lines he's messed up. He ashed the cigar on a glass tray, sticking it back between his teeth as he creased his brows in focus- reading his notes, observing his sketches- picking at details he forgot or needs to change.

He's building you a reading room. You don't know that yet. A nice cozy room, with lots of windows for sunlight, and walls with built-in shelves for all your books and knick-knacks you could never find space for. Putting it on the east side of the house- so you can watch the sunrise, your favorite time of day.

Least he could do, after spending the last few weeks building the dining room and driving you crazy with all the dust and bare walls and tools scattered over the floor- alongside some other messes.

He picked up the sound of your footsteps crunching against the gravel outside. Lifting his pencil, he added a few more notes to his drafts as he waited for you to try to sneak up on him- as you always do. Trying- and failing to surprise him, a little game you had with him for years.

You were being awfully quiet. Though the sound of your heartbeat always gives you away. He was always listening to it, a sound that brings deep comfort to him- no matter how far you were.

Once he discerned how close you were, he removed the cigar from his lips, setting it onto the tray and turning to look at you with a quirked brow.

You immediately froze at his stare, a plate full of food in your hand. Your shoulders became hunched and you pout.

"You can't pretend at least once to be surprised by me?"

"Even if you know better?" He asks.

You rolled your eyes, stepping closer and proudly presenting the plate of food that you've been cooking all afternoon for him.

"Lunch."

"Mm." He observes the plate, taking it from your hands and setting it atop his drafts- concealing it from your eyes. His hand went around your waist and pulled you close. "Looks good." He hums, eyes trailing up and down your figure- and you knew he wasn't talking about the chicken salad you made.

You giggled, leaning forward to peck his cheek, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Working hard?"

"Me? Nah. "

"Mm." You smiled, before glancing over at the papers, not paying any particular mind to them. "Don't be out here too long, okay? I miss you."

"Promise." He looks up, and gives you a sweet smile, and leans forward to give you a peck on the lips.

You began to walk away, but he caught your hand and pulled you back to him, pulling you into his lap with ease, eliciting giggles from you as your arms wrapped around his neck. "What was that?"

"Take a look." He reached over to the workbench and moved his lunch out of the way, giving you a proper view of that smudgy construction drafts. You leaned forward, his hands holding you securely in his lap while you examined the drawings and notes.

"Is this..."

"Yeah."

You looked at him, a knowing smile on your face. "I thought you said you were done building for a bit- especially after the incidents with the dining room."

He dropped the circular saw while it was running. Created a big gash in your new flooring- he hasn't fix that yet. Then he accidentally knocked over a can of paint that spread out and leaked into the carpet in the other room- replacing the carpet is on his list. Accidentally broke a window, just have cardboard taped over the panel for now.

He was handy, but he was not agile.

"This is different." He says. "It's for you."

You looked at him in surprise. "Lo, you don't have to-"

"I know. I want to. You deserve it, love."

You bit your lip as you felt heat blooming in your cheeks.

This man always finds a way to make you flustered.

Looking back at the plans again, your fingers fiddled with the collar of his flannel. "Well... If it's going to be outside for the most part, I guess I can't complain."

"I'm sure you'll find something." He teased.

You gasp, hitting his chest playfully, but he caught your hand and pulled you closer so he could kiss you. You both start laughing, mirth escaping you as you kiss.

His hands pulled you closer into his lap, and your pecking kisses melted into something messy and deep. His hand that rested on your thigh traced up your body, down your arm, and over your hand that was pressed to his chest, where he felt the ring he's given you not long ago, resting where it rightfully belonged; his own ring brushing over it.

"Mm." You hum as you parted from him with a soft smooch. "Why don't you take a break from this, spend some time with me?"

"Sounds perfect." He hums, his arms scooped you up from his lap as he hopped down from the chair, carrying you out of the barn, to your country home that you share with Logan.

The radio host droned on in the now empty barn.

"These....people, mutants, they have feelings! They- They hurt, they go through a lot of pain. They love too! They have family, friends, people they care about. So what if they can do special tricks that some of us can't?" The host carried on, "They have a right to live their lives, and to live it happily."

[tsukisangel]

beach trip with bokuto °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

characters ꕤ bokuto koutarou, and you!

cw/tags ꕤ fem reader, super duper fluffy, i love bokuto

wc ꕤ 824

“you have everything?” you asked, looking at bokuto. he grinned at you, nodding. then you put a hand on your hips, raising a brow at him.

“what?” he asked, furrowing his brows. “we have the towels, a change of clothes, uh, that giant umbrella thing, sunscreen, we made sure you brought your books, the volleyball, snacks-” he gasped. “the first aid kit!” he dropped both bags he was holding and ran into your shared bedroom.

you gasped. “kou!” you exclaimed, making sure the stuff in the bags was alright. you sighed, picking up one of the bags as bokuto walked out. he put the first aid kit in the other bag, holding it in his arms.

“okay. now we should have everything.” he said, walking closer to you with a grin. “let's go.” he pressed a kiss to your lips.

you smiled, letting him open the door for you and walking out. the both of you made your way to the car, dropping everything off in the trunk. bokuto held the passenger door open for you, and then got into his side. you sighed happily. “i’m excited. we finally have proper beach weather!” you grinned at him.

he started driving, but he was nodding as you spoke. “me too.” he grinned. “and i love volleyball, but i’m so glad we get this week off.” he looked over at you on a red light. “i’ve missed you.” he kissed your cheek. you smiled, holding your hand out for his free one, which he gladly took. “you know, shoyo wants us all to come to the beach for some beach volleyball!” he grinned, telling you all about his plans as the two of you made your way to the beach. you just listened, as you always did, cutting in every now and then. he loved when you let him talk and talk. nobody usually did. akaashi was one of the few who was also patient with him, but every so often akaashi joked with you about how he was glad that he didn't have to listen to bokuto’s ramblings as often. of course, bokuto would always whine about it.

you grinned wide as bokuto parked, rushing out of the car before he could even open the door for you. “we’re here!” you exclaimed to him. he chuckled, opening the trunk for you both to grab your things. “hurry up!” you exclaimed, rushing over to the beach with him. the both of you ran over, making it a race. sort of. bokuto, as a professional athlete, had to take it a little easy on you. even then he won sometimes. you didn't mind though. you were just having fun with him.

you gasped when he picked you up, running to an empty spot. “i win.” he grinned.

you scoffed. “that’s cheating!” you exclaimed. he kissed your head, setting you down.

“not in my rule book.”

“your rule book stinks.” you shook your head, setting down the bag. both of you set up the beach towel and umbrella, and then you were ready to lounge peacefully.

or, maybe not?

bokuto lifted you up, making you squeal and kick your feet as he threw you over his shoulder. “let's go!” he exclaimed.

“where?!”

“swimming!” you heard his grin.

“i wanted to read before we swam!”

he stopped running, setting you down. “aw, i’m sorry, princess.” he furrowed his brows with a frown, eyes all sympathetic. you could see through it though (he wasn't a very good actor), so you quickly ran away from him. “hey!” he laughed, chasing after you.

“don't try to trick me!” you called to him. “we’ve been together three years!” he laughed, but for some reason it sounded pretty close. when you looked back, you yelled, seeing him getting closer and closer. “that's not fair!” you exclaimed as he grabbed your waist and princess carried you over to the water. you huffed at him.

“what?” he chuckled. “really thought you’d win?” he teased, walking into the water still holding you. you held onto him, your arms around his neck. he grinned. “i’m not mean enough to drop you in!” he exclaimed. he was definitely happy you were holding onto him though. he always was. it was such an ego boost for him that you felt safe in his arms. he told you too. he always told you how proud he was that you loved him, and that you let him into your life. he told you nothing could give him more of an ego boost than that.

you felt the water slightly moving around you as he went deeper, and he set you down onto your feet. it went right under your chest. you still held onto his neck, so you used it to lift yourself up to kiss his cheek.

his grin somehow grew. “what was that for?” he asked.

“love you.” you smiled.

his cheeks went pink. “i love you too.” he kissed your head.

a/n ⋆ i heart him <3 may write another ver of this with tsuki 🤭

m. list

previous work (falling for her - link goes to masterlist) | next work

requests are open !

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hi!! I just wanted to say, you’re really inspiring to me as a teen trans guy who really just wants to be some dude.

And you’re really fashionable too!! I used to be way more into like, interesting clothes/fashion, but over time feminine clothing got more uncomfortable for me, so I kind of gave it up. Maybe one day I’ll pick it up again thanks to you!!

Thank you, and yes, rekindle your interest in clothing, it's a lot of fun!

Getting into menswear further helped me define what kind of man I am and what masculinity means to me. This self-reflection helped snap me out of some toxic masculinity thought patterns I started slipping into early in my transition. And being in clothing that makes me feel euphoric gives me a tangible confidence that other people respond to.

Anyone can do this without getting into the nitty gritty of how clothes work -- it just means making mindful choices about your clothes, thinking about what emotions they spark in you and what things they communicate to other people. (Dressing like a blorbo is a great shortcut, because you probably have already done this sort of deep dive with them.)

I feel like a lot of trans folks dress in order to blend in, and dressing to stand out more can feel very scary, but it's worth experimenting here, even if you only feel safe wearing certain outfits in very controlled settings. (This is why I love cosplay, what a great way to play with your look.)

And regarding the clothing I left behind -- I will likely never be the sort of man who dresses feminine -- it just isn't my style and never has been. I would probably feel dysphoric, too.

BUT, I still like looking at women's clothing and makeup from an appreciation and Craft standpoint. (Plus, I like looking at women who feel good in their fashion, ngl.)

So, if there's a part of you that still wants to engage with women's fashion, you can still do so! Women love a man who understands the effort and joy behind their fashion, and I still find myself bonding with women every now again over shared experiences (mainly from my teen years) with the more frustrating parts of presenting femme.

So, I guess what I am saying to whoever needs to hear it -- reblog the pretty dresses and makeup tutorials you find amazing, but would personally make you dysphoric. Don't make dysphoria close more doors than it needs to.

And get into men's fashion if it interests you, even though the "manosphere" likes to punish non-conformity. It isn't trans mens' responsibility to "save" masculinity, but we certainly can simply be more joyful and kind on a personal level.

Oops, that was all a bit of a ramble. Take care! ❤️

[uncannydevotion]

more jeff thoughts!! he’s haunting me!! so here’s a part two to this post lol. it's just tht post but in jeff's pov, really.

warnings: lots of mentions of murder, blood, stalking, abduction. jeff is his own warning, really.

wc: 1.8k words of the ramblings of a madman

ever since jeff was young, he’d always been a bit of a jerk.

it was never too much though, just... he never had a filter when it came to his words, and it got him in trouble more often than not. it made it hard for him to make friends, because he'd always say something mean and it would just make people dislike him.

but then you had come into his life.

you moved in next door, and you were just a few months younger than him but you followed him and liu around like a puppy because they were the only other two kids in the neighborhood, and none of the kids at school wanted to hang out with the new kid.

he had expected you to prefer liu over him, to be honest. liu was nice, liu never said anything mean to you, liu knew how to comfort you when you'd fall on the concrete and scrape your knees.

jeff wasn't mean, but he didn't say nice things. you'd scrape your knees and he'd call you an idiot for tripping before helping you off the ground while you held back tears.

he really thought you didn't like him.

but you would hang out with him, even when liu wasn't around. jeff would decide to go out into the forest to throw rocks into a creek and you'd follow after him. when you'd sleep over, you always slept in his room. he thought it was because he had a bunk bed, but who knows.

he remembers the day you called him your best friend like it was yesterday.

it had been scorching hot outside, so you, jeff, and liu were all sitting in the living room of your house while your parents and their parents were setting up some stuff in the backyard for a pool-party and cookout.

liu was playing some castlevania game on his ds, and you were watching some show on tv. jeff wasn't paying attention to the show, he was too busy staring up at the ceiling.

but at some point, you had tugged at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention, and when you looked at you, you had asked if he'd be okay with you making him a friendship bracelet. he thought that friendship bracelets were dumb, but this seemed like something you were serious about, so he did keep that thought to himself, at least.

he just asked why you'd want to make him a friendship bracelet, and you looked at him, confused, 'you're my best friend, why wouldn't i?' and... huh. why did his heart just get really fast?

the day he moved away was the day the world began to end for him. he remembers a lot of crying. an embarrassing amount of crying, actually. he's not sure he's ever cried that hard before. but how could he not cry? he was leaving behind his only friend, after all.

you had given him that friendship bracelet, and it was awful. it was just a bit too big on his wrist, so he had to adjust it every so often to keep it from falling off, and the colors you chose for the design didn't go together. but you had made it with love, and it easily became one of the best gifts he'd ever been given.

it was hard, moving so many miles away from you. it was hard waking up every day and not heading over to your place to eat breakfast. it was hard being alone again. is this what you had felt when you moved next door to him? this aching loneliness? a feeling that not even his own brother could make go away.

it didn't help that some of the kids at his new school decided to make him the target of their bullying. it's fine, he thinks. he's had kids pick on him before, so he know how to handle it. besides, he'd always feel better after calling you, so it really didn't matter to him.

but then the main kid, randy, had the audacity to steal the bracelet you had given him. jeff, to this day, doesn't really remember what happened.

all he knows is that he saw red the moment the snotty kid tore the bracelet off his wrist, a few of the beads scattering onto the concrete. he just remembers his hands being bloody when liu pulls him off the crying kid. he remembers the police coming to his house later that day, and liu taking the fall for the fight.

he never got the bracelet back after the fight.

things only got worse after that. he felt angry almost all the time. and if he wasn't angry, he was just... unbearably sad. it was getting to the point where he didn't even want to talk to you anymore, because he didn't want you to know what was happening.

some friend he is, huh?

and when the fire incident happened... well. we all know what came after. the night he finally broke, jeff called you. there was blood on his hands, staining his clothes, dripping from the cuts on his face. he was shaking as he dialed the number of your mom's phone.

were you even awake? would you answer? why was he even callin-

"jeff?"

the loud noise in his head went quiet, and he felt like all the troubles he had felt, the act of atrocity he had just committed—and would continue to commit—none of it mattered. just the sound of your voice, of which he had deprived himself of for almost a month.

he didn't respond, he just stood there in the hallway, standing outside liu's bedroom door. but you must've heard him breathing, because you continued to speak, asking if he was okay.

jeff slowly pulled open liu's door. his brother was sleeping peacefully in his bed, unaware of the fact that jeff had just murdered their parents. your next words had caused him to pause, standing over liu's bed.

"i made you another bracelet. next time we see each other, i'll make sure to give it to you. so don't get into anymore accidents."

and he wanted to respond, but the words wouldn't come out, and then liu was opening his eyes, and jeff hung up the phone. jeff was gone by the time the police arrived, and he only had one destination in mind.

it took him longer than he would've liked, getting distracted by a few more murders and pretty much hitchhiking most of the way because everyone who pulled over to offer a ride would drive away the moment they saw his face. but in a few weeks, he was at your home. or what was supposed to be your home, that is.

you weren't there. you were gone. some random couple had taken your place. their names are on the long list of jeff's victims. it's okay. he doesn't know where you went, but he'll find you. one day, he will.

and as time went on, even though he was no longer a kid and well into his twenties, jeff found himself visiting your old home almost every year. his home was gone, burnt to the ground shortly after killing liu and his parents. your home was the closest he had to one.

you were never there. until one year, you were.

he didn't recognize you, not at first. but then he saw your name on an envelope he had snatched from your mailbox (add obstruction of correspondence to his list of many crimes) and it was like all his patience had paid off.

jeff didn't immediately reveal himself to you. he wanted to, trust me, but... he needed to know. needed to see what you had grown up to become, to see if you had anyone important in your life. like a lover. so... he stalks you, obviously. and one of the first things he noticed was the lack of keepsakes you had of him.

when he'd broken into your home while you were out at work and went through your stuff, he expected to find something of his. the cheap dog plush he'd won for you at an arcade once, or a photo, or a letter at the very least. but there was nothing.

it's like every memory of him had been wiped, and that left him feeling... angry, to be honest. did you want to forget he ever existed? did your friendship mean nothing to you? he'd almost been tempted to let his anger get the better of him and kill you, but he didn't.

as much as he didn't want to admit it, you were the one person he couldn't hurt.

instead, he hunted down your phone number and started calling you. you would answer every time, and he wouldn't talk. he'd listen. listen, and hope that maybe you'd figure out it was him.

but you never did. you'd always ask him to stop calling, ever polite, before hanging up. the cycle would repeat itself, until jeff saw you getting cozy with some guy at work.

aka, he just saw some dude chatting you up and you weren't turning his advances down. the only logical course of action was murder, obviously.

jeff held his phone up to his ear that night as he called, and you picked up almost immediately. the light in your room was on, so he knew you were home as he approached the backdoor in your kitchen.

"...jeff?"

and like that night, all those years ago, it's like everything in the world went quiet from the sound of your voice alone. he let out a sigh, something that sounded so fond, before picking up a rock and throwing it at the window of the door, shattering the glass and allowing him to unlock the thing.

pushing the door open, he can hear the way your breath hitches on the other end of the call. the glass on the ground crunches beneath his shoe as he walks inside.

it really did feel like coming home.

"you still have the bracelet you made for me, yeah?" he asks. but after all these years away from you, he thinks he deserves more than a bracelet.

you hang up. not unexpected, given the circumstances. but that doesn't stop jeff from making his way upstairs. he could hear you through your bedroom door, your voice shaking as you spoke on the phone.

you had dialed 911, it would seem.

there were tears streaming down your face by the time he opened the door to your bedroom. his heart was racing. he had been waiting, craving, this reunion for years, and it was finally happening.

you stopped speaking as soon as your gaze met his, and jeff could make out the operator's voice as they told you the police were on their way.

it's such a shame that by the time the police got there, you were nowhere to be found.

'notorious serial killer suspect in abduction of local resident. please call the hotline if you have any information on their whereabouts.'

[mecha--maniac]

This is possibly my fault since I started being active in the community again, and posting my sympathetic thoughts about Solaris quite a bit. So I'mma ramble the thoughts this makes me think.

By no means do I think Solaris is entirely sympathetic -- he's a god, and gods are almost never depicted as being perfect -- but I point out the sympathies a lot because the game sure doesn't, and most people will pick up on what they (almost certainly correctly) perceive as a biblical Satan/demon analogy, and thus are predisposed to assume he's evil for the sake of being evil. This is almost certainly what the devs were intending, buutttt the story for the game seems pretty clearly unpolished, so it's hard to say for certain that someone on the team didn't purposefully add a lot of background trappings that imply the history of the area is more proto-indo-iranian than the modern european parts of the setting would imply, and thus the themeing could actually be more of an observation on how christianity absorbed traditions from other cultures and turned positive things into negative things, such as the neutral-to-positive origins of things like 'hell' and 'demons' and how they became synonymous with 'evil' and 'bad' when transplanted. It wouldn't change much in regards to good/grey/evil readings; but it would support that the past has been obscured purposefully at some point. Historically, it would have been obscured by the ruling class with something to gain, but since deities are a Real Thing here it could also be Solaris himself.

(But again I really do honestly think most of the potentially purposeful detail in this game is an accident... I kinda assume the bg/asset team somehow had more time to work than the writers. This game was rushed to Hel and back. I think they wanted to play with grey areas, but didn't get the chance to actually put in everything they were building to.)

And honestly, I love any reading of the character; good, evil, and especially in between. I'd like to see more done with the old story mentioned (I'm aware of it and think about it a lot) and I'd say I'm surprised that I haven't seen anyone go down that 'Solaris was malevolent the whole time' road when exploring him... But this is the gay weirdo website, and historically gay weirdos tend to sympathize with the demonized monsters, so I'm not actually surprised he's usually played with more benefit of the doubt (plus there's a distinct reverse correlation between tone of a subject vs tone of the fan interaction; the darker the thing, the lighter the fan content, and vice versa)

I gotta say, though. That old story doesn't prove Solaris has ever been malevolent. That could very well have been the intention -- I always assumed it was, and assumed the average reading was 'oh the game characters have this story wrong, Solaris is secretly the bad guy here' -- but it's not proof. The lines tell us for sure that there is a story about Solaris, and that's it. It may sound to us -- with outside biases -- that Solaris faked saving the city; it may sound to them with their ingame biases that Solaris did save the city; but there's a whole lot in between there. An incident similar to the story probably happened, but we can't say for sure. And while it seems like the obvious starter of the fire would be the fire god, we should consider that devastating blazes that destroy entire cities are a thing that happen in modern times, and thus probably happened in any time period (probably more often, what without fire codes and such.) A legitimate blaze could have just happened. And who better to douse it than someone that can control fire? The 'Solaris tricked them' interpretation is easy to see under the surface, but it might legitimately not be that deep. Maybe Mrs. O'Leary's cow starts a fire; fire god cleans it up; fire god decides to be the city's patron; citizens honor patron deity with ceremonies. Or maybe there was even a mix, since we definitely can't know Solaris's intentions; maybe he did start it as a trick, but later legitimately cared for the people, only for the people to betray him so now mass murder is back on the table. Maybe it wasn't a trick, but he's pissed enough now to throw away the loyalty.

My point is there are a hell of a lot of interpretations to be made with what is frankly a scaffolding of a script, and that's what I like about it. There is extremely little we can confirm in the game, unless we see it actually happen, with all included intentions of the characters stated (for instance: Mephiles literally never kills Sonic. No blood; he comes back; even the characters 'sense he's still there'. Did he intend to? Maybe. Probably. The writing probably isn't that deep. But all he actually needed was Elise to think he was dead, so we can't say for sure he didn't pull a trick there.) Cause characters like Mephiles can seem all dramatic and evil and trickstery, but dude might just be ye olde theatre kid. And this leaves a loooot of room for different readings and fanworks that don't even need to actually contradict the game, since so little is known for certain. So; I just like to point out that it's possible this debacle was more a tragic misunderstanding of hurt people than a good v bad situation. We can assume the writers probably went pretty basic with the ultimate theme being the usual 'you versus the bad guy' with the starters of some deeper stuff before corporate rushed the game out the door; but we can't know that's the case.

P.S. I usually ignore everything after the game when it comes to interpreting it, but if we did count modern stuff, SXSG drops a damn bombshell with that 'I want to exist' line, and talking about restoring himself to the timeline. It's still just a theory, but man; that sure seems to imply he never was trying to destroy reality and/or time the way Eggman told everyone he was. That's just more fuel to the tinfoil hat 'Eggman was goading everyone on in that fight on purpose since he had a lot to lose, as Solaris was aware Eggman was trying to use him' theory.

P.P.S. Also, like, Solaris was confirmed for sure stuck inside a stick and a t(w)eenager for a decade, and I doubt anyone could come out of that making rational decisions. Meanwhile the other side are almost all children that have possibly been a bit rattled by all the time traveling, chaos energy, and trauma they've been injected with over the course of that three days or so (+for Silver and Blaze), so I find it hard to judge them, either. I can judge Eggman, though. Dude was definitely just a dick. He's proven that plenty.

P.P.P.S. Main complete fuckin mystery in the game to me beyond 'probably just an unfinished plotline' is the Mephiles trying to get Silver to kill Sonic thing. I don't see how it makes sense in any case whatsoever; if Solaris was somehow a saint, why the hell would he take such a roundabout route, particularly since he obviously didn't need to? If he was a schemin' demon, same goes -- why go so roundabout, why pick Silver for it, why get so complicated, when it backfiring was so obviously a risk? Maybe because he knew Silver had something to do with Shadow, and maybe he found out Shadow was kinda-sorta friends with Sonic, so he just... Hoped it would be ironic for the half-moment between victory and pulling the plug on the timeline? I dunno man, and I'd love to hear more theories about that from folks, particularly since there's a lot of room for introducing ideas of there being limits or rules to Solaris's power/time travel/the universe itself/etc that might justify playin' what is essentially an intradimensional combination hopscotch/cat's cradle.

Tl;dr: Pretty much all bits of this game are up for wildly different interpretations, as little is ever actually confirmed, and we have a whole lot of unreliable narrators. I think the conversation should be 'here's how I read it, or the version I enjoy' and not 'your way of reading and liking the thing is wrong'.

A lot of people recently—as in, a weirdly high number of people—have been posting about how Solaris as a deity is a sympathetic figure, and how he was a victim in the grand narrative of Sonic ‘06.

This post is neither meant as a “gotcha” nor is it attempting to disprove or devalue this reading of the narrative, in fact I’m actually going to demonstrate how moral ambiguity is a theme that ‘06’s story definitely and intentionally explores, but I do want to just… point out what’s textually stated about Solaris in the game’s story.

To best illustrate what I’m getting at, I want to talk about Solaris chronologically. To do that, we need to discuss some deep lore that has come up on my blog several times in the past. (And no, it’s not the fact that the owner of the shops in Soleanna is named Enrique.)

Most people know that Solaris is represented by an eagle in Soleanna’s religion, but for those who missed the symbolism, Soleanna’s crest depicts an eagle standing proud with wings outstretched underneath a simplistic depiction of the sun, with the prominent feathers protruding outward in a manner reminiscent of sunbeams. Considering Solaris is known as Soleanna’s sun god and the eagle here is clearly represented as being a proxy for the sun (with the wing-sunbeams and all), and based on the fact Solaris’ physical form heavily resembles an eagle, it’s safe to say the eagle became a symbol in Soleanna due to worship of Solaris.

Additionally, the stained glass murals found in Kingdom Valley seem to show the eagle—Solaris—having some connection to or dominion over the day cycle, with the mural depicting this in a serene, positive light.

With that connection in mind, I would like to bring up the most insanely loaded and impactful throwaway NPC dialogue of any Sonic game:

Now, I’ve posted about this dialogue plenty before, but I wish to reiterate how this completely missable dialogue from some random woman in Soleanna’s New City contains deep lore that is heavily implied to be the origins of Soleanna’s symbol of their god, and may even be an origin story for Solaris’ worship in general.

The story is about Soleanna being overtaken by huge flames, until out of nowhere a huge eagle saves it. We know that Solaris’ physical form has the appearance of an eagle, so it’s barely conjectured to say that this story represents Solaris saving Soleanna—otherwise it would literally just be a narrative red herring. Additionally, the NPC specifically says that some people still believe the story to be factual, so this is clearly meant to be some manner of biblical non-fiction in the Solaris religion.

Clearly, this event sparked worship of Solaris, which, as previously mentioned, was viewed by the people of Soleanna as a positive deity—the “Eternal Sun,” which was paid homage to via the Festival of the Sun, which involved (description from the game’s official guide but this is also just what’s shown in the intro cutscene) “lighting a beautiful fountain of fire, bathing the city in the crackling glow of a thousand flames,” which I would say is representative of the great fires that overtook the ancient Soleanna, then afterwards “fireworks fill the sky, and there is much rejoicing by the general populace.” I would consider this as representing Solaris appearing from the call of the flames, but that’s conjecture—all that we need to focus on is what’s textually stated, which is that fact that there’s “much rejoicing by the general populace.” This is mirrored by the dialogue heard in-game, in which Elise, whilst lighting the fountain, prays: “Sun of Soleanna, guide and watch over us with your eternal light.”

The next event that we know of chronologically is, after somehow taking the form of a meager sentient flame, Solaris was entrusted to the royal family as the “Flame of Hope.” We don’t know how this happened, just that it did.

Later down the royal family lineage, we get to Elise’s father, the Duke of Soleanna. At some point, his wife—Elise’s mother—died, and conveniently the Duke then became infatuated with the altruistic idea of harnessing the power of time to allow his people to rectify past mistakes and avoid bitter fate. To that end, he started the Solaris Project, which aimed to study the Flame of Hope the royal family had been entrusted with and, more bluntly, manipulate the super-dimensional god-being Solaris for its power.

It is noted that the Living Flame had to grow larger for this power to be harnessed.

It is explicitly stated in-game that Solaris disagreed with this treatment. During the cutscene “The accident 10 years ago” which shows the Solaris Project experiment failing, a scientist notes that out of nowhere an electromagnetic pulse has been generated, which is causing a meltdown. The Duke responds to this by saying, “Why, Solaris? Why do you refuse to listen to my voice?” which suggests that Solaris itself generated the EMP, despite the fact that this causes it to fracture.

Furthermore, the game’s official guide (which should admittedly be taken with a few thousand grains of salt, as it’s a Prima Games guide and those are rather notorious) has this to say regarding Solaris and the experiment:

So, pretty cut and dry when you view it all like that in isolation, right? Solaris was a benevolent god that was abused by the duchy of its people and driven berserk from said abuse, which is why even after reforming its darkness and wrath it still sought to destroy all time. The Duke of Soleanna sucked bad and Sonic ‘06 is a narrative about… god dying for no reason? And the ending of Sonic ‘06 with Elise extinguishing Solaris represents, uhhh… deicide? Elise is perpetuating the cycle of abuse???

Obviously no hate to people who prefer viewing Solaris in a strictly sympathetic light (I literally wrote a fanfic with that as a partial premise), but you have to admit that it muddies the narrative. And, additionally, what a lot of people ignore when they come to that conclusion is the fact that Solaris had known malevolence.

First of all, consider the fact that the Flames of Disaster were a known thing in Soleanna’s faith—specifically known as Solaris’ wrath.

And when you remember the fact that Solaris takes the form of fire, and is known to be the being whose wrath is released in the form of flames,

Suddenly the story of the eagle has an alternative reading!

I am SO firmly in the camp that that NPC’s one-off dialogue is meant to suggest that Solaris manipulated its way into a position of worship, and that it being reduced to a meager flame was a saving act—which is why said flame was then entrusted to the royal family.

As stated above, this isn’t even an unheard of concept: Elise just casually tells Sonic about the potential of the Flames of Disaster, and all of Eggman’s actions throughout this game hinge on the fact that he wants to take the power of said flames (which he already knows about, just not how to channel) for himself.

Not to mention the fact that the component parts of Solaris don’t do the sun deity any favors. Iblis is literally a destructive manifestation of blind wrath, and Mephiles is a misery maximalist who literally overcomplicates plans to a fault just so the absolute most amount of karmic irony and sheer misfortune can underline all of his actions.

So�� Solaris was vastly malevolent, ergo the Duke’s actions were completely justified, and Sonic ‘06’s narrative is about defeating ontological evil?

Also probably not!

A major theme of Sonic ‘06 is the dichotomy between the actions of an individual and the impact those actions have on the whole of society/the future—impact those actions hold in general:

Elise’s decision to sacrifice her relationship with Sonic by unmaking the instigating event of their meeting from the timeline, all to save the future, that’s just the underlining of this theme. There’s also the fact that Elise had to bear the Flames within her and repress her emotions in order to lead her people and hold back Solaris’ wrath, and the fact that Silver grapples with the idea that to save his future he has to personally kill an individual. Shadow has that whole moment where he says if the world chooses to become his enemy he’ll still fight like he always has, and even Amy gets the (admittedly pretty funny) line where if she had to choose between the world and Sonic, she’d choose Sonic—and for what it’s worth, that arguable ideology did plant the seeds of Silver questioning whether what he was doing was right or wrong. Even Blaze, who’s notoriously underutilized in ‘06, sacrifices herself to seal away the flames of Iblis for good.

I feel like the intended reading you’re supposed to have is that, yes, Solaris was terrible and did terrible things, but the Duke of Soleanna and contributors to the Solaris Project were also terrible and attempting to harness powers no mortals should possess, and both sides acted in manners that impacted the wider world in direct and indirect ways. It’s supposed to be a little difficult to work your head around and completely justify in one direction or the other—it’s trolly-problem-esque, in that sense.

So, in conclusion… all of this being said, there is still room to be made and interesting narratives to be constructed around the idea that Solaris was a victim—and personally I agree there’s some sympathy to be felt for the Flame and the experimentation it underwent even with its malevolence—but I feel like the actual narrative presented is much more intentionally nuanced.