#really happy with how this turned out. for an art final
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FRIENDS WITHIN TUCHING DISTANCE
⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.
⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader
⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.
⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+
⊹ 👩🏼❤️👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤
⊹ 📘 Number of part: 25/?
⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.
⊹ 👩🏼💻 From the author: My darlings, I finally wrote it 🫠🤭 I really hope you like the scene in Jungkook's room, and the continuation of the storyline. Let me know what you think, I'm always so happy to read your comments ❤️🔥💞
⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜
⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!
⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi, @someoneelse0109, @medstudentlifestyle, @mskookie, @kooccult , @smokinghotstargirl, @curse-of-art (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)
≣ Chapter Index ↓
Part 25. Black Dust.
Jungkook has parked the car in front of his parents' house. Together you dropped your parents home twenty minutes ago, after spending the evening together, where you and Jungkook confessed that you were dating. To say that your parents were happy is an understatement.
They were stunned, but that quickly turned to joy. Your mothers were especially happy because they had wanted you to be together for a long time and thought you were the perfect couple. Your and Jungkook's fathers were also happy about the news, but because they are men, they were more reserved.
The joy of the news was as if you were announcing that you were getting married or having a baby. It's just a relationship, but who knows what it can grow into. It's exciting for you to think that you might marry Jungkook someday. It’s fact, that you really can't imagine anyone else but him as your match.
Jungkook offered to let you sleep at his place, because as his girlfriend, you can now sleep in the same room with him without hiding.
Yonok sat next to you, holding your hand. She was smiling sweetly at you when Jungkook and his father got out of the car.
"Y/N, my favorite girl. If you only knew how happy I am that you two are dating. I couldn't ask for a better girl for my boy." - Jungkook's mom says sincerely. Her words touch you. You lean against her.
"I'm glad we told you." - You say. "It actually came so naturally." - You say, referring to your relationship with Jungkook. Jungkook's mom smiles as she fixes your hair.
"I've secretly dreamed of you two being together. Your mom and I often talked about it. It seems our prayers have been answered." - You smile at her. You've been guessing about this. Your mom often praised Jungkook to you, and treated him like her own son. Jungkook's mom loved you just as much, so it was no wonder they wanted their children to be a couple.
Jungkook opened the back door of the car, looking at you with a smile. His father stood behind him, waiting for you.
"Are you going to sleep in the car?" - Jungkook asks you two. You and his mom hurried out.
Jungkook and his father went to his home office, and you stayed with Jungkook's mom. She gave you clothes to sleep in, because you left all your clothes at home, not planning to spend the night at Jungkook's place. She sent you to the bathroom and went to prepare your bed for sleep.
You went into the bathroom and locked the door. For some reason, you felt terribly tired. It seems you are not quite well yet. The emotions you experienced today have dulled your bad feeling. But now that you were alone, you thought you would literally collapse.
You took off your clothes. Your breasts hurt and were sensitive. You looked at them and saw that they were enlarged. No wonder. During your critical days, your breasts would grow by half a size. You had pads in your bag. You wanted to change one for the night, but you noticed that there was almost no blood. You are surprised because not only did your period start earlier, but it was also strangely.
You went into the shower, turned on the water and just stood under the stream of water. Warm water gently poured over your body, and you closed your eyes, trying to relax.
The feeling of fatigue and pain in your body gradually became less acute, although you were still concerned about the change in your state of health. You stood in the shower for a few minutes, just listening to the rustle of the water and letting your thoughts fade into the background.
Moments of the evening came back to you: your parents, their joy, Jungkook's mother's words... You felt your heart warm as your relationship with Jungkook became more and more real. And yet, in the midst of this joy, you felt a sense of anxiety - what would this mean for you and him in the future? Was it as simple as it seemed?
You remembered the way Jungkook looked at you today: with tenderness, care... And when your mother said so sincerely that she had always dreamed of you being together, your soul blossomed. You didn't know what would happen tomorrow, but it seemed that everything had its place, and this part of your life was just beginning.
You closed your eyes again, sliding your fingers over your skin, feeling its tenderness after the water. The tiredness began to recede, but you still felt how hard it was to keep your eyes open. It was time to get out of the bath.
You gently toweled yourself off, not wanting to rush, and then picked up the things Jungkook's mom had given you for sleeping. It was Jungkook's t-shirt. She offered you her nightgowns, but you said that his shirt was just like a normal nightgown and you would be comfortable sleeping in it. Jungkook's mom agreed to give you his things without any problems. When you came out of the bathroom, you saw her, and she had already made the bed. She was smiling when she saw you.
"Are you okay, my girl?" - She asked in a soft, caring voice. "You look tired."
You smiled in a tortured way. Your tiredness is still on your face. But no matter how much you didn't want to show it, it was obvious how much it was draining you, and it was good visible to Jungkook's mother's eyes.
"I'm fine, but I haven't been feeling well for about a week. I think it's because of busywork. I've started preparing for my thesis and I'm also working." - You answered quietly. Jungkook's mom looked at you carefully.
"Honey, are you working? Why do you need to work? Jungkook makes good money. You should quit and spend more time on yourself and your studies." - She advises you. You press your lips together.
"Oh, I know Jungkook makes good money..." - You say. You even know what he does for a living, but you skip over those details. "But I would like to have my own money. But studies will start soon, and I think it will."
Jungkook's mom nods her head in the affirmative, smiling. She comes over to you and touches your cheek with her palm. Her gaze is caring and gentle. You see so many of Jungkook's traits in her. He is very similar to his mother and this caring look at you now is similar to the one you receive from him.
"That's right, dear. It seems like there's no need to ask you to move into his apartment because it's obvious that you live together." - She says. You want to say something back, but she speaks first. "Tomorrow I suggest we have dinner together again. Because you're leaving on Monday morning, and then we don't know when you'll be back. I think another dinner with your parents would be nice." - She suggested.
"Yes, that would be great. I enjoyed tonight so much, I'm ready to do it again." - You support Jungkook's mom's proposal.
"Then it's a deal. Tomorrow I will need to go to the supermarket and market to buy the best food for my dear girl." - Yonok says and puts her hand on your shoulder.
"I can go with you. I can help you make dinner." - You offer to help.
"That would be great." - Jungkook’s mother says. You smile.
"Okay, I'm talking too much as usual. Get some rest, my good girl. Jungkook should be back soon..." - Jungkook's mom says, just as the owner of this room enters. Jungkook notices the two of you, and a slight smile graces his face.
"Mom, dad is looking for you. He can't find the charger for his phone. He says you should know because you cleaned the living room today." - Jungkook says, stepping deeper into the room. He gives you a quick glance. In just a second, he has time to run his eyes over your figure, but without being seen by you or his mother.
"Oh, that Yonho. He took her to his office last night. She should be there." - Jungkook's mother gets annoyed. She walks to the door of the room and stops at the door.
"Good night, my children. Sleep well." - She says. You bow and smile sincerely.
"Good night, omony. Thank you very much for your kindness and care." - You thank her. Jungkook's mother gives you a smile for the last time today, tells you she loves you, and leaves.
As the door closes behind her, you meet a pair of mischievous eyes that always come with a playful smile.
"This looks like my thing." - Said Jungkook to you. He walks over to you and clutches the edge of his T-shirt in his hands. You look at him, wondering what he's up to. Is he trying to seduce you? You had sex today. It was reconciliatory and hot, the way you both like it. But now you feel too tired. You don't have the energy for one more time tonight.
"That's my thing for today." - You say casually. But Jungkook just frowned a little, and grabbed your wrist and pulled you close. He looked at you with the same familiar look he always gives you when he's close.
Jungkook's hand, which had just been clutching the edge of your T-shirt, slides underneath. You feel his hand move up your thigh, leaving tangible marks. The hand ends up on your buttocks and squeezes the flesh. In one swift movement, he puts you closer, leaving not even the slightest distance between you. You hold back a scream that almost escapes your throat. Jungkook smiles slyly.
"You should have remembered that I'm greedy for my things. So you probably won't be wearing it tonight." - He says, leaning down to your lips. You rest your hands on his chest, feeling hardness and warmth of it.
"Do you really feel sorry for the T-shirt for me?" - You ask. Jungkook laughs softly.
"No. But every time I see you wearing my clothes, I have an urgent need to take them off." - Jungkook confesses. You smile.
"That explains a lot." - You say. In a moment, his other hand goes under your shirt. He squeezes your other buttock, pulling you closer to his already semi-hard length. You want to protest, but he kisses you. His lips capture yours, and a second later you feel his sweet tongue on yours.
Jungkook's lips move against yours, and your kiss becomes deeper and hotter. His hands hold you down, massaging your buttocks, and your heart starts to beat even faster, but you knew this wasn't the time for that. Even though your underwear was already damp.
"Love..." - You try to tear yourself away from his demanding lips. You need to stop it as soon as possible. Because if you don't stop in a moment, it will be too late. Jungkook leaves your lips and slides his hands down your neck. He stops kissing your lips and seems to just prolong kissing your neck. But he's touching your erogenous zones, and it's making you more excited. "Kook... we're at your parents' house..." - You say. Your breathing becomes labored. Jungkook steps on you, forcing you to move toward the bed, and your mind screams to stop it.
"Yes..." - He says when you're already leaning your feet to the bed. "This house is mine too, and this room is also mine." - He states playfully. You look at him skeptically. You didn't mean that.
"We're not alone. And your parents might come in..." - You explain. Jungkook thinks for a moment and then answers.
"I don't think my parents will come in. Everyone here is an adult, so they understand what we can do here." - He says. You lightly hit him on the chest, where your hand was. He only laughs softly in response.
"Why are you saying that?" - You are outraged. "Even if they understand, we're not supposed to do that here."
"What do you mean we shouldn't?" - Jungkook was surprised. "You didn't want us to have sex while we were visiting our parents?" - Jungkook assumed.
"Yes. I thought it wasn't a problem." - You said calmly. "Besides, I'm on my period." - You reminded him. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. He didn't hide the disappointment on his face.
"When did we not have sex during your period? And why do you think we can't make love here?" - Jungkook says indignantly. You don't want to upset him, but you're not feeling well, and you're really worried that Jungkook's parents might hear you. You kiss Jungkook's lips gently, without using your tongue, to calm him down. He squeezes your buttocks lightly.
"Your parents can hear us." - You say when you stop kissing him. Your faces are close together. You want to add that you're tired, but Jungkook speaks first, breaking into a cheerful smile.
"So that's the problem. You're afraid that my mom and dad will hear you screaming my name..." - Jungkook leans down to your ear, presses his hot lips to your skin, and you instantly shiver. "…when I’m will fucking your tight, little pussy?" - He whispers. Fuck, that dirty tongue. You're literally leaking from his words. Jungkook is horny too, and he's clearly not going to relieve himself on his own in the bathroom when he has you.
"Jungkook..." - His name sounds like an exhaled breath on your lips as Jungkook reaches into your underwear with his hand while kissing your neck. He touches your aroused clit and builds up your orgasm with circular, slow movements.
"Are you drip with moisture on my fingers but want to stop?" - He asks you, admiring your blissful face. You grabbed onto his shoulders to keep from falling, because your legs were softening in direct proportion to his movements on your clit. When his finger entered your passage, you moaned softly. "So? Maybe I should really stop?" - He says demandingly. He sounds like he's mocking you. Instead of putting you on the bed and fucking you, he asks if he should stop. "Because we might be overheard." - He says sarcastically, and you think you're going to hit him if he doesn't shut his mouth.
Suddenly, he sticks his finger out of your passage. You open your eyes and feel your pussy and passage throbbing with excitement. You want him to put his finger back in.
Jungkook defiantly licks the finger that was in your vagina a second ago with his tongue and grins slyly. You bite your lip, looking at this picture in front of you. And fuck, you get even more excited.
Jungkook easily frees himself from your arms, letting you go. He goes to the door and locks it.
He comes back to you and immediately pulls off your shirt. You're left in just your panties and Jungkook's eyes fill with lust when he sees your naked body.
His attention is most attracted to your erect nipples. He looks at you as if he were seeing you for the first time. He raises his hand and touches your nipple, playing with his fingers. You bite your lip. He takes your breast in his hand and squeezes it. He leans down to take your bud into his mouth, but you scream softly in pain. He looks up at your eyes.
"Are they still sensitive?" - Jungkook asks, looking from you to the nipple.
"Yes." - You answer. Jungkook touches your nipple lightly with his tongue and you feel a little pressure. He sucks on your flesh and circles the nipple with his tongue several times. It feels good. You put your hands on his back. Jungkook doesn't ignore your other nipple.
It's getting uncomfortable to stand. So a minute later you're lying on the bed, and Jungkook is on top of you. He is comfortably positioned between your legs. His hard cock is still in his underwear and even his pants. He is pressing on your needy pussy. For some reason, Jungkook is in no hurry to undress and you are not at all satisfied.
"Take off your clothes." - You whisper between kisses. Jungkook smiles when he hears your request.
"If I take off my clothes, I'll fuck you." - He says, pulling his lips away from your skin. You look at him in surprise.
"What do you mean? Isn't that what you were planning to do?" - You wonder. He tilts his head to look at your face from a different angle.
"Well, you said that my parents might hear us. So I decided to listen you." - Jungkook says. Your eyebrows fly up and you smile almost hysterically.
He's lying between your legs right now, with his hard cock pressed in your pussy, and you're sure it hurts, and he's saying he won't have sex with you? That's nonsense. What kind of man is he? He didn't stop when you asked him to, he got you hot and now he says he doesn't plan to fuck you?
"Are you serious?" - You ask hysterically. "Then what are you doing now?"
Jungkook sees your irritation, and it only seems to amuse him more. He raises one eyebrow as if to ask: "What am I doing?" and then leans in closer again, leaving a slow, almost mocking kiss on your jaw.
"I'm just enjoying you, my love." - His voice is husky, dangerous. His warm breath tickles your skin as he trails his lips along your neck, leaving short, damp-hot kisses. His arms are around your waist, his body a constant test of your willpower.
"Enjoying that?" - You can't help but sound sarcastic, even though your lips give you away, trembling with his every touch. "It's more like torture." - Jungkook laughs-quietly, lowly, with that familiar tinge of smugness.
"Torture?" - He lifts up a little higher, meeting your gaze. His eyes sparkle in the semi-darkness of the room. "Is that what you call it?" - His fingers slide down your thighs, causing another flare of trembling.
"What do you call it then?" - You whisper, trying to keep your tone steady, but it doesn't sound convincing at all. Jungkook looks at you longer than necessary, studying you as if he were evaluating something important. And then he smiles-slowly, playfully, dangerously.
"Waiting." - His lips find yours again, and his touch is so sweet that you almost forget how to breathe. Your kiss becomes passionate, and with each new movement, almost insatiable.
"Don't tease me..." - Your voice is barely audible, and it sounds more like a quiet reproach than an accusation. Jungkook smiles.
"You started it first." - He accuses you. You are outraged. You didn't start anything first. You just said that it would be better if you didn't have sex when his parents are in the other room. Sex with Jungkook is always about incredible pleasure and you're used to not holding back. You are afraid that you will forget about caution at some moment.
His hands move higher, his palms run along your ribs, as if exploring every curve of your body. And it's a real torture to be so close to him, to feel his heat, to know that he's right here, but not to get what you want most.
"Tell me, you want it." - His voice is a velvety whisper that sends hundreds of electrical impulses through your body.
"Kook..." - His name sounds like a sin on your lips. You beg him, even though you forbade him not so long ago. He does not move on, does not hurry. He just waits. His eyes darken, he wants it as much as you do, but he stubbornly holds himself in check. His patience — is the last straw of your.
You crush your lips to his, tearing away all doubts, squeeze his shirt in your fingers, and pull him even closer. Jungkook doesn't pull back-he only sinks deeper into you, into your kiss, into everything you're feeling right now.
He doesn't hold back anymore. And neither are you. You move your hips, creating friction, so that he gets excited enough to tease you no more. He moves his hips to meet you and his length is painfully squeezed in his boxers. Jungkook pushes you sharply several times. You feel your orgasm building. You moan into his lips and he can't help but smile.
When you both run out of air, Jungkook breaks the kiss. He rubs against you to help you reach the pleasure you want. Your eyes remain closed and your face expresses absolute pleasure. At such moments, you look like the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Jungkook is happy that he is the only one who has seen that your face.
The friction you created brings you to bliss. You moan as you have an orgasm and Jungkook immediately covers your lips. Now your pleasure is vibrating on his lips. You stop, and Jungkook pulls away from your swollen lips.
"You have to be quiet, baby." - He reminds you. You breathe heavily, stare at his lips a little confused and try to understand what he's saying. The impression of the orgasm makes you detached from reality.
"This is what I told you about." - You complain without any anger. "I don't know how to be quiet with you." - You confess. This confession boosts his ego.
"I love it when you scream from my cock inside you. Damn, I want to fuck you so bad right now. But you have to promise me to be quiet." - Jungkook asks you. His desperate voice makes you throb between your legs. You want him as much as he wants you.
"Only if you shut me up." - You say jokingly. You leave it up to him to decide what he can use to gag you. Jungkook smiles slyly. He leans closer, and that smile makes you tremble in anticipation. His fingers gently touch your chin, forcing you to look him straight in the eye.
"Oh, baby..." - He laughs hoarsely, running his thumb over your lips. "You have no idea what that sounds like to me."
You gulp for air as his gaze darkens, full of promise and desire. His palm moves to your neck, his thumb still lingering near your lips, and you instinctively open them, letting his touch in.
"Do you want, I shut up you like this?" - His voice vibrates, it's dangerous, and it sends pleasant shivers through your body. You nod, sucking on his finger as if testing his reaction.
Jungkook's cock twitches as he imagines those beautiful lips wrapped around his length.
"So we play by my rules?" - He leans down to your neck, leaving a hot, shaking kiss that makes you barely hold back a soft moan. His hand slides steadily lower, leaving hot marks on your skin.
"Yes." - You agreed.
"Okay, my obedient girl..." - He whispers in your ear, and you know that whatever he has in mind will be both torment and bliss.
Jungkook gets up and undresses without breaking contact with your eyes. You raised yourself up on your elbows to better see the picture in front of you. There was something fascinating about watching Jungkook undress.
Jungkook took off his clothes slowly, as if he was deliberately stretching out this moment, enjoying the way you were looking at him. His gaze never leaves yours, watching your every reaction, every movement of your lips, every movement of your body.
Usually, a passion between you makes you move quickly and do everything in a hurry, but today it's something new. Jungkook does everything slowly and leisurely. You find it both annoying and exciting.
You bite your lip, feeling a hot wave spreading inside you. In the semi-darkness, his figure looks even more attractive - clear lines of muscle, smooth skin, tattoos spreading ink across his arm and shoulder.
Jungkook notices how you don't take your eyes off him, and his lips stretch into a satisfied, sly smile.
"Do you like what you see?" - His voice sounds deeper than usual, and it chills you to the bone. Jungkook, in turn, looks at your body and is already planning to fuck you properly right after he takes off your clothes.
You decide to take part in his game. When he takes off his shirt, you smile seductively. You gracefully get up from the bed, leveling with him. Jungkook watches you carefully.
You still didn’t answer his questions. You run your fingertips along his forearm and then slowly slide them down his chest, as if you're checking to see if he's real. Jungkook sighs heavily, his muscles tensing under your touch. Then you lower your hands to his waistband, place your hands on top of his palms, which wanted to undo the button on his pants but didn't because you were distracted him. You gently push his hands away, showing that you will do it yourself.
You look down between your bodies. You undo the button, grab the fabric in your hands and pull it down. You bend down to pull down his pants and see his cock. He is aroused and most likely wants to get rid of the underwear. You straighten up and now want to take off his boxers. But instead, you just slide your hand into his boxers and find the tip that immediately twitches when it feels your fingers.
"Don't play around, love..." - Chunguk whispers, catching your hand and squeezing it lightly, not letting you continue with your plan. "Because I can forget all caution." - You look at him, holding your breath, and then smile slightly.
"Maybe that's what I want?" - You say. "It's fun to tease, now I understand you." - You hum, looking directly into his eyes. Jungkook freezes for a second and then leans over to you.
"Then don't blame me for what's about to happen." - He warns you. He gently places you on the bed and takes off your underwear. The air touches your folds and you feel cool. Between your legs is a mess because you're aroused from yours over-the-top games. Jungkook also takes off his boxers in a matter of seconds.
The mattress bends under his knees as he settles between your legs. You see his thick hard cock bouncing as he moves. Jungkook spreads your legs at his convenience and smears your wetness over the folds. Then he plunges two fingers inside you. He stretches you so that you can take him as painlessly as possible.
Jungkook creates pressure on your walls and this already gives you some pleasure. He doesn't wasted many time for a long time because he wants to enter you already. Jungkook takes his fingers out of you. You don't even have time to realize what he did, because he's already got his cock against your entrance.
He presses and sinks in slowly to make you comfortable. You feel euphoric as his length fills you. Jungkook goes all the way in and moans gutturally. He doesn't move for a while, and then he leans down to you, placing his elbows on either side of your face. He gives one slow, deep thrust and you hold your breath. Which threatens to escape in a loud moan.
Jungkook admires your beautiful face and makes another, similar movement, and surprisingly, it gives rise to a feeling of butterflies in your stomach. His lips cover yours, and you realize that from that moment on, you lost control. But did you really have it?
Jungkook fucks you, covering your mouth with his lips. You moan into his mouth. Your hands are on his back. His cock is so good clings you, and to ease your sensations, you dig your nails into his flesh at first. But the faster and deeper Jungkook moves, the more stimulated you feel. You can't stand it any longer and scratch his back.
Jungkook smiles against your lips, feeling the pain of your scratches. He detached from your lips.
"Is that good?" - He asks. He knows how good you feel. Doesn't his scratched back speak for you? "You take me so well, baby. I love fucking that pussy. I'm happy that she's mine. She's mine and she'll always be." - He whispers as he continues to fuck you. You're going crazy at his words, because you're happy to have a lover like Jungkook.
He gives you so much pleasure that your feelings for him grow more and more every day. Your love is getting stronger. You are perfect for each other in and out of bed. You could only dream of such a guy.
"I love you." - You whisper. These words make Jungkook stop. You open your eyes and see his face so close. His eyes dart between yours, searching for something. You stretch your lips into a smile. "I belong to you completely. I don't need anyone else but you. I love you and I will always love you." - You say a little louder. These words fall from your lips easily and sincerely, because they are the real truth.
"I love you too." - He finally says. He tries to calm his breathing. "You're the girl I've always wanted to have. I'm lucky that my feelings are mutual." - He says. You feel a lump in your throat. You shouldn't cry in the middle of sex. Jungkook suddenly thrusts, continuing what he's started. You gasp in surprise at his actions. "I love you. And I'm ready to prove it to you every day." - He says as he fucks you. You think you're in some kind of paradise, but if isn’t paradise, then what? His declaration of love, his movements inside you, it all makes you so happy.
Jungkook kisses you again. Your lips merge in a gentle kiss full of love. You wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
"Baby, I want you on all fours." - He whispers against your lips. You hoped he would finish with you in a lying position.
"Can we finish the way we started?" - You ask hopefully, not wanting to get up. Jungkook gets up and out of you, and which means that no, it will be as he wants.
"Come on, love, give me your ass here." - He says, helping you to stand up. Jungkook reaches for the pillows to put under your stomach. He puts them in front of you and helps you down. You lie down on top of the two pillows, resting most of your body on your elbows and exposing your ass to him.
It's a gorgeous sight for Jungkook's eyes. He can't help but be tempted to slap you at of your smooth skin. When you feel the blow on your buttocks, it's like you wake up. You want to look up at Jungkook, but you don't have time because he's pressing down on top of you. His hand is on one side of your head, and his lips are on the other, pressed against your shocked face.
"What an ass." - He praises. "By the way, have you heard of anal sex?" - He asks. You freeze. His question has confused you so much that you've forgotten how to speak. You feel your cheeks flush. You've heard of it, of course, but you don't understand what it means. You've also heard that it can cause a number of problems.
"You don't want to do that." - You say in response. "You're just curious, right?" - You ask naively. You feel him touching your buttocks with one hand, the one he's not leaning on.
Jungkook straightens up behind you. He raises your hips, forcing you to lean more on your knees and lift your ass up. Jungkook finds your clit and caresses it with his finger. You moan, but into the bed, so you can hardly be heard.
"I'm not just curious." - He says, firmly. You jerk your head up. Jungkook takes his length in his hands. He puts cock against your buttocks and presses just a little. You raise your head in embarrassment and he stops you, taking you into his arms. His hands are on your stomach.
"Jungkook, I'm not ready to do this." - You say in confusion. You can't turn your head to him because he's holding you close to his body. You hear him laughing softly.
"Honey, calm down. I'm not going to fuck you in the ass. Not tonight." - He says. And his phrase "not tonight" doesn't calm you down at all. His hand goes down to your cunt and caresses you, and you forget what you were just talking about. Jungkook kisses your cheek, showering your face and then your neck with short kisses. He tortures your clit and you moan. "You said you were on your period. Why isn’t there any blood?" - Jungkook asks, noticing that you’re not bleeding like you should during your period. You don’t answer right away. When you’re dealing with the sensations from his finger, you say.
"I was bleeding, but for some reason I’m not. Maybe I should go to the doctor." - You answer. Jungkook hums behind you.
"Yeah, sure. I’ll take you." - He says. But enough talking, Jungkook plans to finish and bring you and himself to orgasm. "Come on, get on your elbows, I'm finally going to fuck you properly."
You listen to him without question. You get down on your elbows, pushing your ass up. Jungkook puts the tip of his cock against your entrance and enters you again with no pain. He starts moving inside you, holding your hips with his hands. You moan and hold back the screams that want to escape your lips. You literally has to bite you until you bleed to keep your moans quiet.
Jungkook behind you is also moaning. Your tight cunt swallowed him so well. Your tight walls give him absolute pleasure. He looks between your bodies and sees your asshole so close to his pubes. He puts his finger between your buttocks with a little pressure. You notice to it, but you can't say or do anything. He fucks you and you seem close.
"I would love to have that sweet ass one day." - He says in your ear then, leaning against your back.
"Kook..." - You say on an exhale. You want to argue that you wouldn't want to, but you can't. Jungkook is hitting your G-spot and you're about to come.
"Will you let me?" - He asks. You won't let him. Because you don't understand why you have to do it. Jungkook cuts into you sharply and deeply. You want to scream. Your moans are getting louder and louder and you might be heard. "Shh, keep quiet, baby. Otherwise, how will you look my parents in the eye in the morning?" - Says Jungkook. You can't do it anymore. Then you should stop. Jungkook seems to read your mind. He straightens up behind you.
His hands grip your hips as they did before and he starts pounding you fast and hard with his cock. If you were alone, you would be screaming from the sensations his cock is giving you, but now you can't do anything but moan into the pillow.
A series of quick strokes and you cum all around his length. Jungkook feels you choking on his cock and in just a few thrusts he comes right after you. He fills you with cum and you can't care about it because you just don't have the strength.
Jungkook stops jerking inside you and pulls out. You fall exhausted on the bed and breathe heavily. Jungkook lies down next to you. You are hot, both of you are sweating. Jungkook looks at you, and you lie there catching your breath with your eyes closed.
"Are you alive, love?" - He asks with a smile. You smile weakly. You have no more strength left for anything.
"Half." - You joke. Jungkook leans over to you.
"Have I completely exhausted you?" - He asks, caring, though you can feel him smiling. You open your eyes and see your beloved man above you. He touches your lips with his own and lets go after a moment.
"It was worth it." - You praise the sex with Jungkook. You couldn't have refused him after the first kiss. Even though you were tired and only had the energy to get to bed and fall asleep. But now you're definitely without the slightest bit of energy.
"Do you want me to carrying you to the bathroom?" - He offers. His offer sounds so tempting. But what if Jungkook's parents are still awake and notice him carrying you to the bathroom? What will they think? You shake your head in denial.
"No. I'll go by myself, but after you. I need to catch my breath." - You say. Jungkook agrees and goes to the bathroom first, while you put on Jungkook's T-shirt and straighten the bed. Fortunately, you were almost careful. Only a little bit of Jungkook's cum, which probably spilled out of you when you sat up straight. You wiped it off with a damp napkin that was in the room and let the place dry.
Jungkook took a quick shower. You also took a bath for the second time that evening. It took you less than 10 minutes and luckily you didn't run into either Jungkook's mom or his dad.
You walked into the room and noticed that Jungkook was already lying on the bed. He was running his fingers over the sensor, obviously typing a message to someone. You crawled under the covers. The place where you cleaned was still damp. You moved over to Jungkook, hugging him. As soon as he felt you move in, he blocked his phone and pulled you closer to him. You leaned your cheek against his chest and sighed, enjoying his warmth.
"Are you okay, baby?" - Jungkook asks.
"Fine, thanks to you." - You answered. Jungkook kissed your temple. There was a silence between you and him. You listened to his steady breathing and heartbeat. You noticed that his heartbeat sounded like asmr to you. Jungkook ran his fingertips over your back, as if unconsciously drawing some patterns. The warmth of his palms soothed you.
You closed your eyes, trying not to think about anything, just to enjoy this moment, his closeness. But through your half-asleep state, you suddenly felt Jungkook tense up slightly.
Someone had sent him a text message, because the phone on the nightstand vibrated. He reached for the phone and you looked at the screen unnoticed by him. Who could be texting him at this hour?
Jungkook unlocked the phone and you saw who it was.
00.13 AM. Sunday | Jimin: You'll be contacted by Ingwon tomorrow. I don't know when exactly, but it's definitely tomorrow. You have to make an appointment. He wants to discuss the details of the black dust delivery.
Jungkook writes a short reply, "I'm waiting" and locks the phone. He puts it on the nightstand with the screen facing down. You pretend to be asleep, but you remember that he promised to tell you why he was upset when he got home from work early today. That's what you had a little argument about.
"Jungkook?" - You call out to him quietly. He didn't answer right away, just held you even tighter.
"I'm here, my love." - He says in a soft mumble. His voice sounds deeper and hoarser, as if it were not his own. You pulled away a little to look at him. His eyes were closed, but you could tell by the clenched jawline that he was awake.
"What are you thinking about?" - You ask from a distance. He opens his eyes and moves his head back a little in a groan and looks at you. He holds his gaze on you for a moment and then sighs, as if he's weighing what to say.
"About a lot to do." - His fingers lightly touched your hair. "A new task has come up. It's a bit of a tense for me." - He finally admits. You feel both relieved that he's opening up to you more and anxious because you know what kind of work Jungkook is into.
If he says that the case is "tense him", then it's something serious and definitely dangerous. You inhale softly, remembering the message from Jimin. Was it something to do with the "black dust"? What is it, exactly? Some kind of weapon? Or drugs?
"Is it... something dangerous?" - You asked, although you already knew the answer in your heart. Jungkook again delayed his answer, and then only lightly touched your forehead with his lips.
"It's just business. You don't have to worry." - He says, and you feel his lips moving on your forehead.
"Every time you tell me not to worry, something bad happens." - You complain without anger in your voice.
"Really?" - He asks with a bit of irony.
"Yes. I still know it's something dangerous." - You whisper, looking into his face. He held his gaze on you, and then ran his fingers lightly over your chin.
"And what are you going to do about it?" - He ask you with the same irony. You press your lips together indignantly. He think this is supposed to made it a joke? Sighing, you decide not to argue with him. You cling to him tighter, inhaling his familiar scent.
"If I can do anything about it?" - You answer the question with a question. There's silence between you again, but this time it's heavy. "I just want you to be safe." - You say desperately. Jungkook smiled, just a small smile, at the corner of his lips, but there was no real peace in his eyes.
"I just want you not to worry about things you can't control, baby." - His voice was warm, but he sounded tired.
"Jungkook." - You called to him softly but insistently. "Does this have anything to do with what upset you today?" - You finally ask him directly. You raise your eyes to look at him. He doesn't answer right away. His gaze lingered on you, dark, attentive. Then he unclenched his fingers, which were holding a few strands of your hair, and nodded slowly, as if hesitating.
"Yes." - He confessed to you. Your heart sped up.
"So what happened?" - You ask, and you're really afraid to hear what might have upset him. But you don't think he will tell you the whole truth. Jungkook took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, looking away.
"Namjoon wants me to take on a serious case. But something about it is... not right..." - He paused, as if searching for words. "I mean, the target and the people who will be working on this case are too murky. I suspect why Namjoon wants me to be the one to do it. Jimin says he wanted me to do it right away." - Jungkook thinks out loud. You swallow the lump in your throat.
"And why does he want you to do it?" - You ask cautiously.
"He wants to give me even more responsibility." - He replies. "But he promised me that if I do everything perfectly, he'll cut my debt in half."
"He's offering to cut your debt in half? Why not the whole debt?" - You ask, slightly protesting. Jungkook thinks about it. Yes, this case is worthy of his full debt relief. Why did he only agree to write off half of it?
"Maybe I was really screwed." - Jungkook hummed. He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. His hand was still on your back, warm, strong, but you could feel the tension in his every muscle. You gently touched his cheek, making him look at you again.
"I think you should try to bargain with him for your all freedom. If you want to leave the world of the mafia, that is. Especially if, as you say, he wants to give you more responsibility, that means he's not going to let you go at all." - You pause, staring at his face. "But whatever it is..." - Your voice was quiet, but confident. "Be careful."
Jungkook stared at you and then, without a word, gently pulled you closer for the hundredth kiss of the night. Your lips are his panacea. He pressed you against him, and this kiss was different-slow, tender, and full of emotions that could not be expressed in words. You felt his arms hugging you tighter, but with some special care.
"Let's go to sleep." - He suggests. You smile and make yourself comfortable next to your lover. You turn your back and Jungkook hugs you from behind. You try to fall asleep.
After a while, Jungkook hears your steady breathing and realizes that you have fallen asleep. His thoughts are full. He's trying to figure out what the new task Namjoon has given him will mean for him. His mind is replaying the events that happened before you left for your parents' house.
Jungkook stood in the semi-darkness of the garage, listening to every word through his phone, ignoring the extra fuss around him. He had a package of documents in his hands, and he had just finished negotiating with one of the arms suppliers, the deal were smoothly. The phone suddenly vibrated, and Jungkook picked it up without hesitation to see a call from Jimin.
"Jungkook-ah, Namjoon wants to see us all. You need to come to Indigo right now. Put aside everything you're doing." - He says. Jungkook can hear the tension in his voice. It's been a long time since Namjoon has called everyone together. It must be something very important.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I've just finished my business." - Jungkook replies.
"Great. We'll all be there. At the first VIP as usual." - Jimin informs him.
"Is something wrong?" - Jungkook tries to find out something.
"This isn't a phone call." - Jimin says. Jungkook exhales sharply.
"I'm on my way to the club." - He says, and when he hears Jimin's "waiting," he hangs up. He tells his assistant that there's no work for today, so he letting him go. Jungkook did not like such meetings, he felt that this time something serious was going to happen.
He went back to the car, starting the engine loudly, not paying attention to the city lights outside the window. He was supposed to be on his way to pick you up and go to parents' house. He texts you that he will be delayed indefinitely because he has some urgent business and will come to pick you up as soon as he is free.
Club “Indigo” was located on the outskirts of Seoul, where the rustling noise of the city met the silence that enveloped the place. The entrance was decorated in a modern style, mixing techno and classics, and inside it was hard to distinguish where baroque ended and modern began.
The ceiling was decorated with abstract paintings that resembled Cubist works - colored fragments were folded into strange shapes that began to tell their own story when the angle of view changed. It was a special club where art and business were intertwined. Everything here was reminiscent of Namjoon himself, his taste and preferences.
Jungkook entered and walked straight to the VIP room, feeling like every glance that fell on him was filled with a certain attention. Everyone was sitting in the room: Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi. Everyone in this circle knew their role and business, and each of them had a part of what the “Run Noir” clan lives for. But Namjoon, as always, was in the center stage.
Namjoon sitting down a wide leather chair, a glass of whiskey in his hand. A painting with an abstract expressionist pattern hung on the wall behind him. He looked up as Jungkook entered.
"Great, now we're all here. Come in, Jungkook-ah, have a seat." - He invited Jungkook with a smile on his lips.
"Good evening." - He greeted everyone present. Jungkook bowed his head and bowed in respect. He sat down in an empty seat next to Jimin, who smiled cautiously and pushed glass with alcohol to him closer. Jungkook just nodded, but he wasn't going to drink. He still had to drive.
Namjoon didn't delay and got right down to business. It was obvious that while they were waiting for Jungkook, they had already discussed some of their business.
"So, why did I bring you all here?" - Namjoon began. All eyes were on the clan leader and he was pleased with the attention. "I have always strived to be the best at whatever I do. And I was doing it well. Of course, I would not be where I am without you. But you all know me well, I never rest on my laurels and always strive to push the boundaries. The status of my clan today allows me to enter a new level of the international market. I want to sell Uranium." - Finally, he finish announcement. Namjoon meet silence and attentive stares. Everyone is silent, not wanting to speak their minds.
Jungkook cautiously glances around to see what everyone is thinking. Jimin and Hoseok are the ones who can't hide their surprise, and their faces show it very eloquently. Yoongi, the shadowy leader of the clan, looks bored as usual, he probably already knew his partner's plans. Jin and Taehyung are calm but tense.
"Uranium? But why do we need it? You do realize how much attention it can attract, right?" - Jin was the first to break the silence. Namjoon nodded, obviously expecting this question.
"I know. But this is exactly what can help us strengthen our position. I want to go far beyond Korea. Uranium is a good source of power and money. I want to use this moment to get rid of any competition with the “Black Pearl”" - Namjoon replies. He takes a sip of alcohol and feels it burning in his throat.
"How exactly do you want to work with Uranium?" - Jungkook asks. Everyone turns their attention to him. But Jungkook only looks at his leader.
"There are three classifications of uranium, but we will only work with two. We will sell depleted uranium through the military, which is used in armor-piercing shells,for example, for tanks, and may be of interest to arms smugglers, and we will sell energy-grade uranium for nuclear power plants." - Namjoon explains. Jungkook raises his eyebrows slightly as he considers Namjoon's words. Where did he get this opportunity? After all, working with the military and nuclear power plants is a very high level. Someone has to cover this case well? Or does he want to pull off this plan himself?
"And how will it all happen? How do we get around the government, or will they cooperate with us directly?" - Jimin asked. Namjoon looked carefully at Jimin, who had asked an important question, and clutched his glass in his hands, thinking about his answer for a while.
"No, the government will not cooperate with us." - He answered, and everyone realized that the plan could not be that simple. "I want Jungkook and Hobby to do the first work." - He looked at them in turn. "You will have to organize the transportation itself. But I already have a plan for how it should go. We need to make sure that the police and the Ministry of Defense don't even know about the deliveries. And believe me, it will not be easy. Once the authorities find out, they won't be able to leave us alone."
Jungkook pondered Namjoon's words, his gaze becoming even more intense. He and Hosok were going to take on this project, and that meant taking a huge risk. The task was not an easy one: no mistakes could be made.
"You mean we'll have to use front companies?" - Taehyung asked, looking at Namjoon.
"Yes." - Namjoon nodded. "We will set up several front companies through which we will work with the military and nuclear power plants. This will give us cover for our operations. It's also important that we involve people with the right connections, people who can solve any issues with customs or other agencies."
Yoongi, who had been sitting quietly, leaned back and spoke with an expression of extreme indifference, but his words sounded sharp.
"We'll need to have someone in place to coordinate everything. Someone we can trust to make sure there are no unexpected situations." - He said.
"I've already thought of that." - Namjoon chimed in. "I've already found the right people. But the thing is, it's going to be very confusing, and everyone has to work according to their own plan without knowing the details of what the other is doing."
Hoseok, who had been sitting quietly until now, looked up and spoke, a little nervously.
"We'll have to hide a lot, including the uranium shipments themselves. How are we going to transport it? I mean, are there any safe ways?" - He asked. But before Namjoon could answer, Jungkook gently raised his hand to indicate that he wanted to add his own opinion.
"It will be possible to use underground routes, logistics corridors that are not controlled by the authorities. But this also requires careful organization. And we need to take into account that the transport can be checked. Perhaps we should think about some more unique delivery methods?" - He suggested. Namjoon smiled when he heard Jungkook's ideas. He knew it would be difficult, but he trusted each of them.
"Yeah, it's all very complicated..." - He replied. "But you have experience. I trust all of you, and I know you can handle it. Now we have to act quickly. We cannot afford to be late. Uranium will give us great power, but if we make a mistake, it could lead to disaster."
Everyone understood that the clan's activities were reaching a new level, and if everything worked, they would have unprecedented influence. When all the details were discussed and everyone moved on to more casual conversations, Jungkook was about to leave. He stood up from the couch, drawing attention to himself.
"Can I go now? I still have things to do." - Jungkook asks Namjoon for permission. The latter nods his head kindly. But then he gets up from his chair and walks towards Jungkook.
"Let me walk you out." - He offers. Namjoon slips his arm around Jungkook's shoulder as walks over. The members realizes that Namjoon is having a personal conversation with the youngest.
They leave the VIP room and head to the parking lot. Namjoon walks in a relaxed manner, unlike Jungkook.
"You handled the medical device so well the recently, and proved to me your loyalty and that you know how to do your job well. That's why I want you to keep an eye on things when we start working with Uranium." - Namjoon says seriously, and stop. Jungkook stops next to him. "I promise I'll forgive half of the debt if you set up all the uranium delivery work. And then you will only have to work for me for two years. You know how much I want you to stay, but I also want it to be your initiative. I see great potential in you and you are the best at what you do. I need people like you. I really trust you, kid."
Jungkook was surprised to hear about the debt. Only two years and he would be free? It sounded almost unreal, like a chance he hadn't expected. He fell silent and was lost in thought for a few seconds.
"Two years..." - He repeated. "And you're really going to let me go?"
"Yes." - Namjoon answered decisively. In fact, he was hoping that this case would help to keep him in business for a long time. Namjoon watched Jungkook carefully, waiting for a reaction. He collected his thoughts and continued quietly without looking up.
"I appreciate your trust, Namjoon. And I'm very grateful that you see the potential in me. But I'm not looking for any big changes or a special place in the clan. I just want to be a performer. I don't want anything more than that." - Jungkook says. Namjoon raised his eyebrows a little, feeling that Jungkook wasn't quite expressing everything he really wanted to say. But Jungkook continued regardless. "So I agree to monitor the uranium supply process, but you must also keep your word. Two years and I am no longer your subordinate." - Jungkook added with some determination in his voice.
Namjoon nods his head, smiling. Time will tell where all of you will be in two years, and he really hoped it would be the pinnacle of success.
↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱
#jungkook x reader#bts#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x f!reader#jungkook smut#jungkook friends with benefits#bts mafia au#jungkook imagine#bts fanfction#jungkook fanfic
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What up y'all! I return bearing what was originally gonna be survival!shipping fluff (I sketch the face first and drew young Garmadon instead of his full Oni version) but morphed into this because my ass was listening to Ethel Cain and Flower Face while drawing. Honestly I took it and wound up playing rendering/color and quite frankly I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out!
Translations: Vertical word- Destruction, bottom text- "You are no man, men don't have claws they can't cut."
Garmadon is my favorite character to use for these more painterly metaphorical art studies because:
A) He's my babygirl and favorite character, this is very well established lol
B) He's a fundamentally tragic character. He's doomed by the narrative in every sense of the word, he was a child when he was bit and after that he was left to deal with the fact that there was this evil snake in his head and his father as well as his brother (seemingly the only people he interacted with as a child) were now somewhat afraid of him. By his young adulthood his relationship with his family begins to strain due to their belief he's "turning evil" especially when going on the quest for tea leaves in Spinjitzu Brothers which shows he actually feels rather upset/angry that his brother and father believe he's turning evil simply because he experiences negative emotions (you know like a normal person) but then after he see's himself in the mirror in book three he goes on a downward spiral believing he's doomed to turn evil and be alone. We don't really know what happens after book four since the fifth and final book never came out but it's easy to assume that the tea didn't work and Garmadon is left all the worse for it coming out of the trip with his mental health in the gutter. We don't know to much about what happens in-between then and when he goes to Chen's Island but we do know that he doesn't seem to have gotten better since in Shatterspin he's still pretty self sacrificing and other people have begun to notice his less than stellar mental state.
Then we know what happens after the war, his mind is consumed and he is left to be less than himself. Even then when he comes back from the underworld we see that he still cares about his son, he kills the Great Devourer, he still wants to be a person. At the end of season two he gets what he wants, he cured, and for the time that he is fully himself for the first time in years he begins to apologize and try to make up for all that he did (even if it lowkey wasn't 100% his fault seeing he was being controlled by an evil snake), but even that didn't last. He dies, or moreover sacrifices himself to save Ninjago from Chen's Anacondrai army, but he dies a good person, he gets a memorial and family that mourns the truest version of himself. And then he was brought back again, ripped from the afterlife but only as half of himself, only the evil side, the side he spent thousands of years repressing until he couldn't anymore and regretted the second he was himself again. Despite that despite the fact it is supposedly only his evil side left he is still trying to be good, with the Garmadon comics showing his desire for redemption and his care for his son even in what he had thought to be his dying moments.
I think this is what makes one of the beginning lines from the Garmadon comics all the more tragic "Who knows what life he may have lived had he not been corrupted by the Great Devourer and cast into the underworld." He might have gotten to live a different life, he may have gotten to be happy and not fear what he might become, he might not have had to die multiple times over, but we'll never know because that's not what happened instead his fate was twisted by something completely and utterly out of his control.
So yeah he's a little fucked up and that's why he's my favorite! Hope y'all enjoyed my long winded rant, I have so many opinions on this man and don't even get me started on how much I hate crystalized for how it fucked up his development from the comics, but uhhh I think that's it!
If you want to you can check out my fic What Doesn't Kill You it's mostly me putting him in a jar and putting him under a microscope lol, other than that I hope yall have a great day/night and I'll see you when I appear from the mist again! PEACE OUT!
#garmadon ninjago#ninjago#spinjitzu#ninjago secrets of the forbidden spinjitzu#lord garmadon#ninjago fanart#ninjago fanfiction#ninjago fandom#vinny x garmadon#garmadon fanart#Garmadon is bisexual and you can pry that from my cold dead hands#biblical imagery#is it biblical imagery if god doesn't exist in that world and technically the character is the son of that worlds god?
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Confessions from an Actor:
Everyday I stand on a stage, perform for a crowd with a big smile on my face.
It’s what I love to do, it’s what makes me happy. I never feel more alive than I do for those couple of hours with lights beating down on me as I sing and dance my heart out.
It’s a connection to myself, my cast-mates, to our audience in a way that electrifies a room. Performing, I say, is the highest art form. You can reach anyone in the world with a good enough performance.
But when we bow, when those lights go down, I take a step back. I tell my cast-mates good show as they run out to meet their family and friends. I turn to get out of costume, knowing there’s nobody offstage waiting for me.
And that becomes my routine. The brief sensation of feeling alive followed by the hollowness that becomes taking off my costume in a silent cold-tiled room alone.
I walk out of the theatre, bag in hand, as I pass everyone in the lobby. Pictures are being taken, bright smiles are on their face as they chatter with loved ones and make plans together. They’re so wrapped up in everything they don’t even tell me bye.
I never expect them to. I know that I too would be guilty of the same thing had anyone been in the audience for me.
Sometimes an audience member gives me a compulsory, “great performance” or “good show!” as I pass, though I can tell by the look in their eyes they don’t even recognise me. Did my performance really mean so little?
It doesn’t matter, I tell myself, as I hike my bag higher on my shoulder and thank them with a warm smile. They go back to their conversation feeling good about themselves. I don’t mind, it’s what I live for: making other people feel things that I myself seldom feel.
Exhaustion laces me when I finally make it back to my car, throwing my bag in the passenger seat. I sit there for a moment, wondering if any of what I’d done tonight actually mattered. I decide, for my own sake, that it does. Those moments under the lights are the only thing that’s ever made me feel alive.
I take a deep breath, pushing back the feeling that even front and center infront of an audience of a hundred people, I am still invisible. I can still see the laughter and joy from inside as I turn my car on. The radio buzzes full of static and ads, my favourite station doesn’t play music this late. I click my radio off.
I drive half an hour in silence, reviewing my performance for the day, figuring out what I need to tweak, how I can make it better, how I can work with the people around me more effectively. No performance is perfect. It never is. That’s part of the beauty of it.
When I get home I unlock my door to a dark, empty, and quiet house. There’s no one there as I eat my dinner, well after midnight. No one messages me or calls to ask how my performance went. My cat wakes up as I hang my bag on the wall. He stretches and meows at me, angry that I’ve woken him up from his sleep. I give him a pat on the head and apologise as he curls up and goes back to sleep.
Once I’m ready for bed, I check my phone one last time. There’s a notification, I open it, hoping and wishing that somewhere in the world someone remembered my performance and was reaching out to ask how it went or to say good job. My face falls when I recognise the same post I see every night. More notes from my director.
They never say “good show” or “great job” or “I’m proud of you all”. That’s not her job. I respect that. It’s a barrage of “you missed this cue”, “this set change didn’t go right”, “the harmonies on this song sounded awful”.
I add these mental notes to my head for the next day as I place my phone on the charger and fall into an uneasy slumber.
The next day, I walk into the theatre, makeup done, trusty bag on my back. One of my cast-mates asks, “do you have anyone coming to see the show tonight?”
I plaster a smile on my face as I shake my head and reply, “not tonight, it’s alright though, maybe someone will surprise me another night.”
No one ever does, and I know no one ever will. It makes them feel better though, they won’t go through their night feeling sad for me, knowing that no one will watch this performance. Any of my performances. Minutes later the lights in the audience fall, obscuring faces that I wouldn’t recognise anyway, and I step out onstage knowing that as much as I love the stage it will never love me back.
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rare animal
#my art#original#coelacanth#fish#^glass beach rfrenence. in the title#really happy with how this turned out. for an art final
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my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity
#really happy with how michael turned out :] i might stick to this design#rapunzel ah glowy hair <3#i do need to workshop gerry though orz#have been working on this during breaks from my other projects and god it took way too long to finish#fun fact the final file for this is over 2gb 👍 forgot i was recording the timelapse#i could post it if anyone would be interested#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#michael shelley#tma michael#tma distortion#gerard keay#gerry keay#tma gerry#gerrymichael#doorkeay#technically? i’m not one to draw ship art usually but this one’s close enough i think#tma fanart#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#magpod
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Goodbye, Cerritos. You were well loved. 🖖
#low key ugly crying :')#im really happy how this turned out tho!! i used so many references jfc#then watched the finale and had to draw brad's beard and rutherford's face#spoilers#lower deck spoilers#sorry if u see this before the finale#bradward boimler#brad boimler#beckett mariner#t'lyn#dvana tendi#samanthan rutherford#star trek lower decks#star trek#st:ld#lower decks#solhunder art#based on a draw your squad thingy
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“You doubtless recollect these papers. Here they are. Everything is related in them which bears reference to my accursed origin… the minutest description of my odious and loathesome person is given, in language which painted your own horrors and rendered mine indelible. I sickened as I read.”
#frankenstein#gothic#halloween#artists on tumblr#classic lit#Mary Shelley#my art#monster#I just kind of pulled this comic out of nowhere lol#I’d like to do the part in the national theatre play#where Victor asks the creature how he found him#and the creature holds his journal up and throws it at him#as a small continuation of this#then I could also finally compare their sizes because the creatures giant stature just doesn’t come across when he’s alone 😭#drawing all his stitches is really satisfying#bro is EIGHT FEET TALL do u realise how absurd that is#and Victor tried to throw hands w him when they first met#u gotta respect him for that#anyway#happy Halloween#it’s always October in my heart but I am enjoying watching the leaves and weather turn#hopefully I can do some fun things
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Ticklish
#My art#jizzie#lizzie ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady fanart#lizzie ldshadowlady fanart#Joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans fanart#fun fact when I started this sketch it wasn’t intended to be Jizzie. Then it turned into them as I drew. They infest my brain#Anyways. Love them#I’ve got a couple alt versions of this if anyone wants to see them. They’re just a couple different backgrounds and some little hearts but-#-they’re cute. Maybe I’ll attach them in a rb#Anyways I’m SUUUUPER proud of their face shapes here- especially Joel’s- I feel like I got them to look really good and somewhat feel like-#-their real face shapes while still being simple. Which I feel is impressive for such a STUPID angle GODS t was a pain. Turned out great-#-but UGH pissed me off once or twice there#Might also post some sketch layers too. Mainly because Joel’s happy trail was lost in the final version and I’m mourning it#Idk though. We’ll see how I feel in the morning 👍#Also happy new years I guess#I fucking HATED drawing Joel’s foot btw toes fucking SUCK TO DRAW they’re a fuckin pain. Stupid shaped appendage fr#I AM however very happy with their clothes. The skirt shape. The belt loops and seam on the pants. OUGH i like drawing clothes#Hermitcraft#hermitcraft art#hermitcraft fanart#life series#empires smp#uhhhh those last ones are just for reach I guess it’s not server specific#life series fanart#trafficblr
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I had done this doodle on bigger doodle page a few days ago and decided to make some full bodies of it :)
WIPs under the cut :D
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I really like how the WIPs look :)#like the final product is *nice*. but there’s *something* about a clean b/w lineart or a solid flat colour drawing#I’m also really happy at how my attempt at the GF style again turned out :D#someone save me I realized while drawing this that my humanoid bill has the same hair as Gil from Johnny Test 😭😭😭😭#nooo not Gil Cipher 😨😨😨😨
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⚠️ severe weather! ⚠️
bonus worth 100 dollar
#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#corporate clash#rainmaker#misty monsoon#hi. pretend it didn't take me 4 months to post anything ok?#i finally got around to making a design for misty (challenge because i never draw humans) and wanted something to show for it#and then i spent way too many hours staring at this canvas. free me#aside from that i am really proud of how this turned out it was a lot of new things for me. so yay!#i am also happy with their design in a full piece. it's not very different but i liked looking up weather-related instruments anyway#umm go see pearl squidslugs for more of this design bug beat me to it. ok smile#my art
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the heaven and earth siblings
#i think im finally happy with how luckys design turned out.. extremely chill skateboard dude who can only do ollies half the time#i might add on to this post.. i havent drawn my ocs in a while#since the front part of augustas hair is meant to resemble a star i wanted lucky to match#the hair growing from his hair whorl is shaped like a four leaf clover which is where his nickname comes from#i dont think ive mentioned a lot abt him anywhere bc i cant vividly imagine what kind of person he is#but i like to think hes good natured and amiable to the point where hes easy to get along with but also a little too willing to go#along with things to avoid upsetting others. hes really familiar with the outdoors and learns best by doing things hands on#theyre both very curious and have a similar way of thinking so they can read each other extremely well#my art#myart#my oc#oc#augusta#lucky#doodles
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And the adventure continues!
this podcast has meant so much to me over the past year. It's the first actual play I've ever listened to and it made me love dnd and want to play it even more than I already had. I am both sad that we're only going to see these characters in one shots, and incredibly excited to see what the next campaign is going to bring. These guys will always have a special place in my heart and I could not think of a better ending for their story
#i am incredibly emotional over the finale#if you guys couldn't tell#this took me nearly a week but im really happy with how all of these turned out#dnd#dnd art#digital art#art#rolling with difficulty#rwd#rwd kyana#rwd dani#rwd vr la#rwd vhas#rwd finbar#rwd fanart
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Somewhere, in another game, Tango tells Bdubs: “He’s a survivor, man. That’s what he does. Survive.”
Art for ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece by the incredible Laurie @oh-snapperss, as part of Hermbang!
#limited life#last life#life series#ethoslab#tangotek#bdoubleo100#goodtimeswithscar#limited life art#this was such a fun project#even if 80% of the actual time I put into it was in the final week#but hey#honestly I'm just really happy with how Etho's jacket turned out#also the reflections#but yeah turns out it's fun to collab with people#so many great ideas
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Draw teen ford holding a bowl of yellow peanut m&ms (you'll get the reference)
M&Ms...
That 'd' in the 'and' is a bit too far away for reasons I can't explain...
#He would 'voice' them (like how Mabel was voice Mr Upside Downingtown or whatever his name was)#they're happy brothers hope nothing bad happens to them#ask#not anon#finally I get the reference#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#young ford pines#young stan pines#young stanley pines#art#fanart#traditional art#m&ms#jk simmons was the voice of the yellow m&m in some commercials so yeah. this#I'll draw Ford's face in a bunch of the m&ms and I'll post it later#I really like how Stan turned out in this so I don't care Ford is a bit meh.
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BSD Rarepair Week, day 2: Clothes sharing
A drawing I made to go along with its complementary fanfic, "A Piece of You, a Reminder of Us" 😊
Sketches under the cut!
For anyone who's wondering, yes, I did draw them completely! It's easier for me to keep proportions correct if I draw the whole thing instead of just what's going to be shown, but it sure is sad when a lot of it gets cropped out 🥲
So have the sketches as a little bonus! Some of the lines look a little blurry because I draw things small first and then upscale them, but this will do 😌
#bsdrpw2024#chuuaki#chuusano#my art#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#yosano akiko#akiko yosano#bsd#can you tell how much fun I had rendering the metals and gemstones#they're honestly my favorite things to draw and render and I'm super happy with how they turned out!#also big shoutout to my sister for giving me the earrings idea when I asked her what I could give this couple if not rings#really happy I finally got to draw this!
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Philza's ultimate: Friend of Rose. By activating his rose charm, Phil becomes a temporary vessel for the Rose the flower deity.
When Friend of Rose is active, Phil gains resistance to magic damage, a bonus to passive energy regen, and whenever one of Phil's attacks hits, there is a chance the target is tangled and frozen in place for a short time.
Philza can make a melee attack and tangle the target in brambles and vines, slowing them down and dealing damage whenever they try to move.
Bloom Sanctuary surrounds Philza in an aura of petals, increasing the health of any adjacent allies.
Garden summons a well of regenerative power that continuously heals allies who stand inside.
The second of Phil's ultimate abilities! The third and final will be posted tomorrow!
#yay rose!!#really happy with how her design turned out :D#anyways how about that prison finale lol#my art#qrpg#qsmp#qsmp fanart#qsmp philza#philza minecraft#philza fanart#fanart#philza hardcore#rose the flower deity
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