#really excited I loved the footage of his concerts it’s always great to see him on stage

[blueberrypancakesworld]

okay so ive really really enjoyed your nsfw-alphabets for lords of chaos, and i was wondering if you could write one for hellhammer (the one who was played by Anthony De La Torre)? its completely okay if you wouldnt like to, considering he didnt have much screen time but it would be super cool if you did!

have a good day/night! ☆

Hello my dear @bvg-w1res first of all I'm glad you liked my nsfw-alphabets for the other characters it was fun and a little challenge to write for all of them. Also Hellhammer because like you said he has not really much screen time but I did my best. Also thank you very much for this request and I hope you like it ans everybody else too. Have fun reading :)

ps : have a good day/night too

NSFW - Alphabet - Hellhammer

warning : +18, minors don't interact, it's getting steamy under the cut

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A = Aftercare (how they are after sex).

°Hellhammer or Jan as he is usually only called by you when you are together is an angel when it comes to aftercare. No matter how long you slept together he will at least always tell you how good you were.

°He loves to pamper you afterwards, it's important to him not only to make it clear that you are his pretty girl but also to show you his softer side. He loves to praise you, to clean you and him and to fetch little snacks if you are hungry. He will love to take care of you.

°,,My beautiful girl".

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B = Bodypart (his favourite part of you and them)

°He loves his hands because as Mayhem's drummer he is one of the best and most dexterous. And not only he knows that. No matter if it's just foreplay or directly during sex his hands are always on your body. Whether it's massaging your breasts and watching with relish what happens when he lightly pinches your nipples. Or on your buttocks to press them lightly. But also to run through your hair, not least when you give him a blow job and he can direct you that way. Instead of the silver tongue he has the silver hands.

°He loves everything about you, you are his pretty girl. But most of all he loves two things about you. Your breasts are just the perfect shape and size for him, they fit perfectly in his hands and he loves to watch them almost fascinated during sex. It doesn't matter if you wear a bra or not, they were just perfect. He also loves your thighs, especially when you are wearing knee socks, pantyhose, tight pants or a short skirt. Whatever it is, he just loves to touch the soft skin, kiss it, bite it lightly and just touch it, especially when he palms himself between yours.

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C= Cum (anything to do with cum)

°He loves to cum on your breasts especially when you suck him and he can watch his cum moving over your breasts and dripping on your belly and thighs. It's one of the most erotic things he's ever seen.

°He also likes to come inside you and watch his cum run out of you. Only to either stuff it back inside you to watch it come out again. Or when you come to take it in with his fingers and lick it off and taste it.

°,,Sweetie you are addictive".

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D = Dirty Secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

°Something he wants to try during a concert or a fuller band rehearsal. That you should ride his thigh, follow the rhythm of his drums and give in to the excitement. He wants to see you fall apart on his lap. How you come when you hold on to him.

°Like some of the others, he would love to make a porno with you. Similar to the footage from the party video, but he's serious. As soon as he finds the right moment he'll suggest it to you and you'll go through with it, you'll have a whole collection of different genres (Hellhammer comes up with the great idea to rent out these videos in the record shop - a surprisingly good deal).

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E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

°He definitely has some experience, but it's more from his school days with some girl in the bathroom or behind the school. He was the good-looking outsider and has enough experience as far as that goes.

°But just because you've had a little experience here and there doesn't mean you're a sex god like Hellhammer. So the sex with him is good, more than that, but as far as teasing and all that is concerned, he still has a bit to learn. He was more just in and out and coming. Until the two of you got together and discovered the world of lust and eroticism. A more than just good journey.

°,,I am already learning new things, my love.

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F = Favourite position (without saying you know what it's about)

°69 position = A position he not only always wanted to try out and had watched in numerous porn movies. After you have reached the level of the relationship, it quickly becomes clear why he likes this position. Not only do you both orally pleasure each other, which is not only exciting for him, but being able to taste you like this is simply everything for him. Every time he is incredibly excited and can hardly wait until you finally end up in bed. He loves it too much, his hands on your hips and thighs, the warm soft skin and his tongue that he loves to use.

°,,Come on baby I want you".

°Ruler = An idea you had suggested and he was only too happy to comply, secretly wanting to try it out. Not only do you touch each other similarly to the 69 position, the fact that you are in control, set the pace and move your hips. When he can relinquish control and praise how good you are and just give himself to you instead of you to him. Something he can't get enough of when you take control.

°,,My ruler...I want you to take over".

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G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? are they funny? etc.)

°Even though sex isn't really serious for him, it's actually a stress reliever and just something to get off his chest, so to speak. Is it more serious with you after you've been together which is also because he has learned through you that it can be more than just the reasons mentioned.

°But just because he has learned to take sex more seriously, there will always be jokes or comments or touching. He is actually always giggling and laughing and he just can't help it. For him it is almost impossible

°,,Just one more joke promised".

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H = Hair (how shaved is it? Does the trunk match the apple? ect.)

°He doesn't shave his happy trail he likes it especially in the summer when he wears a crop top and you almost crack him up with your look as he calls it. But even otherwise he doesn't always shave, sometimes when he feels like it or sometimes not. If it bothers you, he would shave it, but he doesn't have to.

°His hair on his head is already quite dark, which is why his hair down there is almost black, so the trunk doesn't quite match the apple or the other way round, depending...

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I = Intimacy (how are they at the moment the romantic aspect)

°He is surprisingly romantic during foreplay as well as during sex and afterwards. In that respect he is definitely the sanest in the whole black circle.

°Whether he's telling you how good you are, cuddling you, massaging you, adoring you, kissing you or anything else. Hellhammer adores you, you are simply his special girl, his beautiful girl. And he will tell you that over and over again.

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J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

°Often, especially when he comes back from band rehearsals and just needs to come down and you're not there, he passes the time himself. Mostly on his sofa or his bed. With several pictures of you, a piece of clothing or recorded videos it's just perfect.

°A thing you did once for his birthday. A strip tease for Jan where you made him touch yourself in a lovely way while you made him hard with your body and movements alone. A thing that will not only take place on his birthday.

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Kink = (one or more of the kinks)

°Mommy Kink = Maybe unexpected for both of you and for himself. In the middle of sex, his mind had been clouded with lust for too long, and it just came out of his mouth and he didn't really notice it. But when you teased him for it, it only excited him even more. Sometimes he called you ,,Mam" or ,,Mommy" as a nickname but it was always just a cute extra...at least that's what you both thought. Now it has become more of a little game of praise and dominance. Because he desperately wants your approval and you have to tell your handsome boy how good he is. While he admires and adores you at the same time.

°,,I'm going to do it good...Mommy-I-I promise really good".

°Power play = In connection with his mommy kink the thought and implementation of who will give in first. How far he can go with his teasing in the hope that you will be the first one on the bed. Or maybe it's you with words of praise, playing with one of his pretty locks of hair and saying "My good boy" that will get him on the bed faster than necessary, right? Every time it's finding out who's giving in, who's taking the lead, it excites him more than it should.

°,,You want to play, sweetie? Oh, believe me, we're just getting started."

°Hair pulling = No real kink but if you dominate him and touch him roughly whether on the arm, hand, leg, neck or even the hair he will become the submissive faster than his head realises. If you drag him by the hair onto the bed or wink at his knees, you will hear more than just whimpering and pleading from his lips.

°,,Please...harder...I'll be good".

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L = Location (favourite place to do it)

°His beloved couch in his flat. Not only was it incredibly expensive but also beautiful (in his opinion). So why not use it properly and not just to sit on it. From sitting, to cuddling and then to sex. That was the advantage as he had no flatmates he could make anything he wanted his sex place including his couch which became almost like a second bed.

°Everywhere. Really everywhere, it doesn't even have to be his flat. It didn't matter if it was the record shop, much to Euronymous' delight, or a back alley, someone's bathroom party. He didn't care, everywhere was perfect.

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M = Motivation (what turns them on)

°Clothing = Depending on what you were wearing, his range of emotions and feelings ranged from barely seen to a compliment to a drooling horny something that immediately gets on you. Especially when you're wearing something with cleavage and it's short. Then he presses himself almost demanding and yet submissive against you and wants to tear everything off your body immediately.

°,,You look...just so arousing beautiful"

°You at the drums = When he saw you sitting at his drums unnoticed, slightly lost in thought, running your fingers over the drumsticks and hitting the various drums with them. Not following any real melody but just playing in front of you. Did this trigger something in him that he thought was not possible. He wanted to stand behind you, lead you, take your hands in his and make a game out of it. A play. The teacher and his willing pupil. How he turned the swivel chair around and opened his belt. Knowing in your eyes what he wanted from you. Yep, that'll get him more than aroused.

°,,Fuck that's good"

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N = No (something they wouldn't do, dismissing)

°Boredom = What seems a little complicated at first is not. Hellhammer simply wants a certain challenge every time. A new position, a little more begging, a little more rebellion or simply a new approach. He is always on the lookout for something new and exciting. The main thing is that he doesn't get bored, because that would be death.

°Daddy kink = The opposite of his mommy kink. Whether it's you calling him that or him talking about himself that way. He doesn't quite know what it is but he either just thinks it's stupid and laughs about it or it's immediately something that turns him off and leaves him cold. It's just the way he is, he can't help it.

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O = Oral (preference whether giving or receiving, skill, ect.)

°He loves it when you give him oral he likes it even more than sex sometimes. Not only do you take him so well and are a god in his eyes when it comes to that. You also know exactly what to do. He loves to bury his hand in your hair, to set the pace, to move his hips slightly. Hearing your suppressed moans and pleas. Only to end up pulling you to your feet and kissing you not least to taste himself.

°,,Someone-ah should record how good you are at this. Like you were made for it.

°As far as your satisfaction is concerned, he is almost more hungry than Pelle and really wants to ask you for the best possible. He will go down on his knees as soon as you ask him to, his dark hair falling slightly into his face, a pleading submissive look reflected in his eyes. Drunk with anticipation and love, he kisses his way up your legs and ends up using more than just his tongue, that's for sure. He makes sure you have at least two orgasms. No matter how many you want, he'll give them to you. He wants to give them to you.

°,,You are so incredibly handsome-so beautiful, ma'am."

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P = Pace (are they fast and hard? slow and sensitive? etc.)

°He is in the middle between fast and slow. But it also depends a lot on his own arousal. How needy is he or you?

°But it doesn't matter if he is hard and fast or slow and sensitive. He's as good as ever at caring for you and finding the right balance in all four areas. After all, he wants to be rewarded with words.

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Q = Quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often etc)

°Quickies are my third first name according to Hellhammer. He loves quickies in the form of oral satisfaction especially when you get on your knees in front of him. It's easy and fast for him, brings him satisfaction. But even when you do it, of course he does it in return. He wants to ask himself every time how fast he can bring you to orgasm. How fast or how long it takes you to be caught by one of the coven. He wants to break his records

°If there's not enough time the solution is a quickie and as luck would have it you almost always don't have much time.

°Oh no, we still have fifteen minutes...sounds like a quickie to the other room. Don't you think?"

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R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

°Before you got together he didn't really experiment. It was often just thoughts he had but never acted on. But with you, oh man, you have a lot to go through because, to be more precise, he has made a whole list of things he wants to try out with you.

°Trying something with new things also means taking a risk. Which is why he always loves to take risks, whether it's for him or for you. The main thing is that you have tried it out, because the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

══════════════════════

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go? how long can they last?)

°He is not the man for the big one, which is not least due to his smoking, which he strictly denies. However, with him there are at least two rounds inside and the third if you are lucky but then you usually have to take over for which he is more than grateful.

°,,If two are not enough for my pretty girl...come here my tongue is always happy to satisfy you".

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T = Toys (do they have toys? do they use them? on their partner or themselves?)

°Drumsticks = Not necessarily a toy but just for foreplay and teasing he loves to use his drumsticks. You lying naked on the bed or relaxing? No problem, he simply lets the finely crafted spitezn wander over your body and lets your nipples become hard. Depending on what material the drumsticks are made of, you also let your tongue wander over them and he definitely has a camera with him. There was just created a new wixxvorlage that has burned into his brain.

°,,If you lick them like that again...fuck"

°Bandana = His bandana which he always carries with him is simply used for sex as a temporary restraint or gag. Also great as a blindfold when he wants to tease you with the drumsticks. Believe me, it works wonders. It's practical, soft and more than enough for the moment. And he always has it with him, which makes for a good quickie.

°,,I should have let you wear my clothes much earlier. Damn, you look hot, sweetie".

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U = Unfair (how they love to tease)

°Teasing is his middle name if you ask him. Egall where, when or how? He will as soon as he realises he needs you or just because. He'll start teasing you. A little touch with his hands on the straps of your bra down to your breasts. Knowing full well that the entire black coven is sitting at the table with you in the pinch. But he doesn't care, he's more interested in how you will react.

°,,A little challenge is fun, isn't it?"

°But if you tease him back or start it, it will either throw him off course because he is not quite prepared for it. Or he gets into it right away and gets aroused faster than he notices. At the latest, when you play with his hair and pull on it lightly, it's over and he's all yours.

══════════════════════

V = Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make, etc.)

°Hellhammer is not necessarily loud. It depends a little on the environment. If it's in your flat, it will reverberate off the walls. But if you are somewhere outside then he is quieter but still audible to the others. Well audible.

°When he does make noise, it is often praising words and jokes. But when you have him completely wrapped around your finger he is a begging something. He loves to beg you to satisfy him on his knees if he has to. He just wants to be good for you.

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W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

°He wants to do a professional sex photoshoot with you. Not just the pictures from a disposable camera from Euronymous or a more than decent camera from his friends. No, he wants to go with you to a professional photographer and take the most erotic and dirty photos for his special album. And present them to Euronymous as album cover. Sex sells.

°He smokes no big deal himself but when you smoke a cigarette he is completely fascinated like a little boy. His gaze never leaves you and he watches you with perfect love. It's just so fascinating to watch you. You seem almost divine.

°,,Ma'm, you know how you have me".

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X = X-ray (let's look under the clothes)

°As already mentioned, he sometimes rasps his happy trail, but he also likes to let it get to him. The size 16cm/6,29921 is a triumph for him because he is a little bigger than Varg but otherwise normal. The width is not as wide as Faust's but it is still so wide that your fingers barely touch.

°But the wide grin on his lips increases when he catches you staring. You watch him as his fingers steal a little cream from Faust's birthday cake and disappear into his mud. This has to be commented on with a perverted comment. In summer he wears only pants and you don't seem to leave him. He feels like the king. Not least when he's in the shower and you just come to him.

°,,All this sexy stuff is just for you my love.

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Y = Yearning (how high is the sex drive?)

°On the high end for sure. He's not as needy as Varg in his weddings who felt fucked everything and everyone don't get me wrong.

°But at a party with maybe one or two beers he will look for his need faster than normal. Which is not surprising that you both disappear for a little while. Not that he could make it any more conspicuous with his broad grin.

°,,Sweetheart you look good...shall we just you know".

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Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

°Very quickly as far as that is concerned after the aftercare which is of course sufficient and more than just good. Both of you should feel good in his eyes, even if you are more important to him than he is to himself.

°Which is why he usually falls asleep immediately after the aftercare and has given his last strength to you. With a murmured "love you sleep well" he then turns over or snuggles up to you before you hear his quiet breathing. A cute sight.

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@mayhem-things , @beldamama

[positivexcellence]

Jensen Ackles Talks Directing Jared Padalecki on Walker and the Episode's Many Supernatural Nods (Kansas!)

“It was very nice to be back with someone who I’ve got such an incredible shorthand with, which we’ll always have,” Ackles tells TVLine. “You don’t lose something like that. Spending 15 years building that up, that’s never going to go away. So that was fun. And being able to direct him in such a quick way… I think some of the other cast were kind of like, ‘Wait, what was that note? Did you just reference a movie and you’re now changing your tone?’ So those kind of things were a lot of fun for he and I to play with.”

TVLINE | What was it like working with Jared again, but for the first time on something where you aren’t in the world of Supernatural and he’s not playing Sam Winchester? I feel like if I ever get on screen with Jared, we will instantly fall into those shoes. So it was a good thing that I wasn’t actually sharing the screen with him, allowing him his space to be this new character, which was a lot of fun to watch. Because not only do I know him as Sam, but I also know Jared very, very well, and I’ve probably had to stare at his face more than most people on this planet, and I’ve seen all the idiosyncrasies, the facial expressions and the reactions and everything that he does. So none of that was very new for me. It was just kind of a variation on a theme…

And we had some fun on set, probably more than I think the rest of the cast was used to having. And this is one thing that Jared and I kind of laughed about. I was like, “Man, it’s amazing that all the jokes that we repeated for 15 years are now landing on fresh ears. We have a whole new audience! This is amazing!” [Laughs]

TVLINE | When the show first premiered, it took me a minute to wrap my head around the fact that Jared was now playing a dad to two high schoolers. So I was curious if there was anything that surprised you or something new that you learned about Jared, seeing him as this new character, seeing him in this new capacity in a new show? I mean, that’s the thing, I spent a lot of time with Sam Winchester, but I spent more time with Jared Padalecki. I know him as a father, I know him as a brother and as a son and a dear friend. So I’ve seen him play these roles in real life. So to see him just kind of translate that to on-screen stuff, it was no stretch for me. It was just another facet of the person that he is, and he’s really good at it. So seeing him bring that to the on-screen character just seemed very natural in my eyes.

TVLINE | I feel like there must be a story about filming the blindfolded obstacle course scene with Jared. I mean, look, I could have really like brought out the big guns for that, but I do know the guy and I do love the guy, and I was like, “I don’t know that this is the kind of torture I want to put him through.” [Laughs] Honestly, I’d do a whole episode about just him trying to make it through an obstacle course. I’d watch that. But it was a hot day, Jared sweats like crazy, and it would have made for a miserable shoot. So I actually tried to make it as doable as possible and took it easy on him. I got him in other ways. I had a life-size bear come to life and attack him in one of the scenes.

TVLINE | How did the Kansas performance come to be a part of the episode? Was that a make-good from them not being able to be in the Supernatural series finale?

Yeah, the planets kind of aligned as they kind of fell apart at the end of Supernatural. But they kind of aligned for it to happen, and everybody kind of looked at each other like, “Wait, can we actually do this? Can we make this happen?” They asked if it was something that I’d be cool with, and I was like, “Absolutely! Let’s 100 percent do that! What we tried to do two years ago, let’s absolutely try and do that now.” Kansas was totally game and just totally great and awesome about it. The crew was super excited to be all of a sudden shooting a rock concert. I think I’ve got some behind the scenes footage of me literally dancing and singing at the top of my lungs behind the director’s monitors during one of the takes, so I’ll have to post that whenever the episode comes out.

TVLINE | Were there any other nods to the show that you included in the episode that maybe I missed or that were more subtle? Some very subtle ones. I don’t know if you noticed, but I kind of opened up on a plate of bacon being slapped down. Very Dean Winchester. There’s also a very familiar green cooler that gets brought into a scene, and that was the actual cooler that Sam and Dean sat on and drank out of and sat in the back of the Impala for 15 years. I had to massage the dialogue a little bit. I think Mitch [Pileggi] looked at it and he was like, “What kind of heathens would…?” I don’t think that was in the script.

There was a few others. I have to go back and remind myself, but there was definitely some verbiage, too, that was thrown in. [For one scene], we needed a shadowy figure of some sort, and I said, “Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to slide myself into the episode.” [Laughs]

TVLINE | I know you’ve been very busy with The Boys and The Winchesters, but has there been any discussion about doing an on-screen role on Walker? And if so, what type of character would you like to play? There has been some talk about it, but the possibility has been earmarked, we’ll say, until things kind of slow down with my schedule — if they do. I’m kind of over committed as it is right now. So we kind of just said, “Well, down the road, we’ll keep an eye out.” And if I was to ever do it, I don’t know if it makes sense to do something completely opposite of what he and I did for 15 years together, or if it makes sense to lean into that a little bit, have some familiarity there. I don’t know. We’ll see if we get to cross that path. I wouldn’t be surprised, also, if somebody comes knocking and says, “Hey, they want to do a Supernatural short-order reboot or movie or something,” and then that’s the next time you see Jared and I together.

TV Line

[whysojiminimnida]

I also want nicely to talk with yall in piece about the situation that happened. I think it is overly oversimplified by some people. It wasn’t like any other simple skinship moment just «just holding hands». This concert hold so much importance. It was the first in over two years when they were at the real concert with fans and at loose and as natural as they can be. LGBT pride flag of equality was waved. Someone came out. The Harry Styles is an icon for LGBT representative. Singing, Tae hugging JK, vibing, JK hugging Tae, holding hands, Tae and JK looking at e/o when LGBT flag was waved, JK cheering loud when someone came out, 90% footage of Tae and kook being together can be normalised but not at the time when somebody you "love" is already next to you and you care not to pay attention to your "lover ". I know real life couples are not glued together. It's impossible to be like that. But being on a concert where LGBT is cherished and respected, where the pride flag is shown is something very important to people from LGBT. It's the moment where you have chance for being the real you without someone's interference. So a person most likely will hold his lovers hand for majority of the time instead of their best friend hand. Off course it was just a single hug. Any friends who are closer would do that. But any couple who could have been spotted would also do the same thing as JK and Tae did it in the concert. Ari along with her fiancee visited the concert as well and they were in the same positions as that of JK and Tae. Vminkook have a strong bond together. There's nothing to deny in that. I would never question that. But here, at the concert, we barely got any interactions of JK with either jhope or Jimin even though JK was standing /sitting beside jim as well and there was a point of time when Tae wasn't with JK. Instead jhope were. But all the clinginess that clips shows were with Tae. Well, I think if JK and jimin could display their "almost kiss " " bite mark " " eating rameyeon" then it's contradicting that why would JK hesitate to be closer to jimin and display their affections at the concert? I know one thing for sure if you thought we were noisy before now when we have such incredible lgbt moment sorry we wont never shut up about it and following taekook steps will be only more supportive.

Anon, I feel like you maybe have a totally different idea of what went on at that concert than I do. For one thing, I've seen the footage that was shot and for the majority of it, Jungkook and Jimin were sharing a drink, all four guys were vibing, there was some discussion between JeiKei and Jimin, a lot of drunken hijinks, some cool dance moves, and of course there was that great "Falling" drunken karaoke moment that really, we should all enjoy and celebrate. It's great to see Tae and Kookie getting back that friendship they were concerned about having lost just over a year ago. I know the narrative that's going around about "oooh JK and Tae had a moment" when Harry was congratulating the fan who came out. But the problem is that when I look at the uncut video, the people talking around that time are mostly Jungkook and Jimin. Not Jungkook and Taehyung. It's Jimin's hand petting his head, it's him leaning into Jimin and Jimin leaning into him, and it kind of looks more like JK is just excited and pleased for the fan and for Harry's acknowledgement of that than anything else. It doesn't really read as a romantic moment with anyone for me. It was a great LGBT moment. For the fan. For the queer people and allies in the audience. Hell, for me. But it wasn't a Taekook moment. It wasn't even in the same neighborhood as a Taekook moment. It's nearly disrespectful to Harry and the queer fan who came out to make it one. Not everything is about our guys, as much as we'd like to think otherwise. And their attention is not always on each other in moments like that. JK was very into that moment, as he should have been, and he was happy for that person who came out, as he should have been. That's really what I saw. A "how cool is this that we are here and this happened" thing. It's not something they get to see in Korea - the Itaewon Trans Day of Remembrance parade was actually going on about that time, interestingly, but they were in LA - not Seoul - and they don't get to go to those parades at home. For anyone who is queer or even an ally of civil rights, it was a very cool moment and one that all four of the guys clearly appreciated. If anything Tae to me kinda looked at his friends like "cool. That person is cool. You, my friends, are also cool." That was it. If hand contact is what you need to prove romance then JeiKei swiping his credit card on Jimin's ass earlier that evening is less of a bro thing to do, frankly. I mean:

I'm actually gonna do a whole post on Taehyungie today because he deserves one. He's been so much fun on this trip and I have thoughts and opinions about him that I feel like mouthing off about. I love him and his bonds with the members, specifically Jimin and Koo. Meanwhile I've deleted over 40 asks from Taekook evangelists in the last 24 hours. Y'all really go into other people's spaces and say some shit, don't you? It's like your mamas never taught you manners. It's like you think you're entitled to get all up in my space and say whatever the hell you want and demand that I listen - and then demand that I change my opinion. Have you considered a career in multi-level marketing or door-to-door preaching? Because you might actually be able to earn a living in one of those fields, once you work on bringing a well-reasoned pitch to the table.

[louis-in-red]

Top ten AFHF moments, Steph go!!!! ❤️

Hi Sea! As the rest of the Louies, I’m still processing the whole thing. I woke up feeling so proud of this person I may never meet, but somehow feels like a friend from my childhood who I am watching grow up into this amazing performer and singer.

Here are my top ten moments (to be honest the whole thing is my favourite thing in the world right now)

1. His voice at the beginning: hearing his talking voice after so long, was so important. This year was hard, almost zero content, no interviews… so just hearing him speak (…I understood how important people are) was healing. I could honestly spend hours listening him talk 🖤

2. Him interacting with the crowd with the Spanish fans at the Madrid show 🔥 he looked so in his element and so proud (I felt like a fucking God). Kudos to the fan who said Louis is the puto amo 💙

Credits to louisgalaxy for the gif

3. His little dance with Charlie when he arrives to film the Live From London Livestream 😭 I really like his relationship with Charlie and how Louis is always so silly with him. Plus, we get so see how Charlie is directing the whole thing which is HOT! Louis talking about how cool the livestreams are and a great opportunity for fans to see him for the first time… such a good soul that man 😔

Credits to Sanju for the gif 💙

4. His little feet when he is jamming with his guitar 🥲 also him talking about the lack of inspiration and how difficult this time has been not just for him but for everyone else… it felt so human

5. His excitement when speaking on the phone to Matt (I’m guessing it’s him) about the free concert. He said he wanted to be the first to doing one and being ahead of everyone else… 😫 plus he was so flirty, playing with his hair… 😮‍💨. I’m adding here as a fave bonus part, Louis being so involved in the whole process, choosing the venue, checking how the stage was going to be, also him being concern of respecting the distance with fans due to restrictions (the way he says Corona… 😳🤤)

Credits to Sanju for the gif 💙

6. His relationship with Helene, from seeing how they rehearsed together, to knowing they have been working this whole last year through video calls (when the media and “his close friend from the band” said he was just drinking beer and probably chilling)… to know he was working during all this time into improving his voice because he is a perfectionist… I LOVE HIMMSO MUCH!! ALSO! Louis just LISTENS, doesn’t he? Like you can see how he listens to Helene. She could probably give harsh feedback sometimes and he would take it in the most positive way, because he knows Helene only just wants the best for him and her feedback will only be constructive. Her being a huge important part of his life, not just as vocal coach but as part of his support system makes me so emotional 😩 Louis my god! I’m watching again those clips and I’m crying again 😭 (PS: who is John??? wtf 😩 that name has been mentioned way too many times now and I’m clowning)

7. His confidence through the whole show but specially in We Made It??? Like he went out there to WIN!! He gave his all from the beginning to the end. I have to say I’m wasn’t a fan of 7 (😳) because I didn’t really listened to a cleaned version (only the ones from Madrid)… but NOW??? I’m a FAN! The band was so SICK and so INTO IT! It was hot to watch! They really killed it and it was one of my favourite moments from the concert 🤤 kudos to Charlie for capturing Louis’ beautiful eyes during DLIBYH.

8. The fans and how they reacted to everything Louis did or say! Him saying it’s fucking unbelievable and that it’s only posible for the fans 😪😪😪 what the fuck I was worried about? 🥲 and the fans during CHANGE… I don’t think they were expecting that quality of a song and you could tell in their faces that he exceeded their expectations (kudos once again to Charlie for beautifully capture the relationship between Louis and the fans). It was cute that Louis said the song it’s name CHANGE and not CHANGES 🙂

Credits to setsfiretohistory for the gif

9. The band!!!! My GOD THEY ROCKED!!! They were so into it, they jammed through the whole thing and you could tell they really enjoyed it and that they love playing for Louis!! Steve was so 🔥🔥🔥 the drums were on FIRE!!! Michale and Isaac being a cute guitar duo during OTB and Matt being beautiful and cute during 7 just jamming and rocking 😫 Zak on the keyboards doing his little head movements 🥰 I don’t know what else to say I just love them and I love that Louis has them as a band. Kudos to the string ladies who sounded amazing and were so cool (drinking the encore shots)!!! I hope they go to tour with Louis 🥺

Credits to Sanju for the gif 💙

10. The after show moments: From the group hug (that shot did some magic as well), to his family and his best friends being there, from Helene being the most proud (crying because Louis sounded amazing) to Louis talking about how he can get lost in his head sometimes but it was different during the festival and that he trusted Helene saying he smashed it… I think he truly felt it! He knew he gave his all and since it’s been a year and a half since he had that feeling… maybe he was afraid he wasn’t going to be that good but now he knows he was the best he has ever been and he feels more confidente than ever. I can’t wait for next year when will get the tour (please let him tour 😭) and probably (hopefully) we’ll get more bts footage since Charlie will be there with him for some dates (I hope).

Credits to Manu for this gif 💙

Well… this was an emotional rollercoaster. I laughed, I cried, I was horny, I was sad, I was happy, I was proud… It was everything 😌😮‍💨 I’ll watch it again later 💙

[martinkennedyguitarist]

Tour Diary; Sixties Gold Tour 2022 Part 10

Day 30, 24.11.22; St. Andrews - Day Off

A day off in St. Andrew started with a lovely brunch in the main house with the family of the people who own the cottage we’re staying in. Ches’ wife Krissy arrived, and their daughter who studies in the town.

Chilled afternoon (more football obvs) then off out for dinner in the centre. It felt like a proper end of tour meal; lots of laughing, lots of wine, great food and so many stories. It really has been a great tour.

We got back to the cottage and had a few more drinks before bed; seems to be a pattern emerging!

Day 31, 25.11.22; Glasgow

Quite the busy day; left St. Andrews after an excellent bit of brunch courtesy of Krissy Hawkes, then travelled up the road to Glasgow.

First stop was Blitzkrieg records in the Barras where we did an acoustic set for Record Store Day and the release of Ches’ remixed single on vinyl. Great little crowd and really fun to do; enjoyed it very much!

From there we went to the concert hall, unloaded the gear and got to have a look at the stage. Todays show had a video screen so we got to watch the video of Chip that was recorded before the tour along with a load of classic Tremeloes footage. Very special to be watching that on stage in an empty hall.

As England were playing, we went to find somewhere they could see it. There was something very surreal about watching England play in Glasgow!

Back to the venue and played to a sold out crowd. They brought all the bands out on stage for the final number which was fantastic; probably the last time we’ll all be together like that.

It really is coming to an end now but still 3 shows to go!

Day 32, 26.11.22; Carlisle

Started the day with a nice Scottish brunch then went in to Glasgow for a bit of shopping; apparently Christmas is on the way? We actually managed quite a good haul between us; good Black Friday deals!

As we were playing in a different country, we decide we best head off. Pretty strong winds crossing the border but made it safely to Carlisle, unloaded the gear then back to the hotel. After checking in, went to the pub next door for something to eat then a couple of hours to relax before heading back for the show.

A packed crowd tonight; really responsive and into the show. Felt brilliant on stage and Silence was one of the best. Luckily Tony from Herman’s Hermits caught it on video.

Back for our final nightcap at the hotel; we all our separate ways after the final show so it was good to talk about what an amazing tour it’s been. Hopefully not for the last time.

Back in my hometown tomorrow for the final 2 shows.

Day 33, 27.11.22; Edinburgh

Not too early a start to the day; checked out of the hotel and stopped off to get some gifts for the crew. Made our way to Edinburgh; always a special thing being back in my hometown.

Had a brief excursion across the road from the venue to get the final gifts and have a bit of a look around the memorabilia shop then back for the interval of the first show. I had quite a lot of family attending so went out to the bar to catch up with them briefly.

Matinee was busy and very responsive; we added in the audio of Chip from the video used in Glasgow and it worked really well; having him introduce the final song was great. Really emotional and exciting penultimate performance.

Inbetween shows we went for dinner with my family which was fun and excellent food; was touched to have so many of them there.

Back for the last performance via the pub; Ches managed to go over on his ankle on the way so he was icing that whilst in the bar!

Tried to see as many of the guys as we could to say goodbye before taking our final backstage shot; in our pants with flowers in our teeth. The funniest was when Barry from the Hermits walked in on us and didn’t know what was going on!

Took the stage for the final time; took a shot of whiskey on stage and had a group hug when we were done. A really emotional and fitting end to what has been an amazing tour.

We were all staying in different places so as each one of us were dropped off it highlighted it really was the end.

I’m so grateful and thankful to have had such an amazing time with the absolute best people; here’s to the next time.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Although Loki has been a fixture of the Marvel Cinematic Universe since 2011’s Thor, the character has never had his own musical identity. That all changed with Loki - the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s latest Disney+ series - and the music of Natalie Holt. The innovative, versatile score is a perfect match for the God of Mischief’s sensibilities and is easily among the best sonic works we’ve heard in the genre.

As such, we were excited to sit down with Holt to discuss the inspiration behind the score’s instrumentation, sticking up for her music in late-night dub sessions, and being part of the MCU.

I want to start right at the beginning. What was your reaction when you booked the Loki meeting?

I just knew that it was the biggest opportunity I'd ever had, and I really prepped hard. I went into the meeting with my ideas really fleshed out, and quite a lot of my responses to the script seemed to by some lucky coincidence fit with the directors. That was cool. I then got to do the pitch after the meeting, so I had to score the time theater scene in episode one, and I totally went to town on that as well. I really wanted this job so much because I felt that Loki was a great character and I was a big fan.

You and director Kate Herron were immediately on the same page in regards to using a Theremin for Loki. What was it about that instrument that appealed to you for this project?

A friend of mine had sent me ‘The Swan’ by Clara Rockmore ages ago, and I just loved the sound of it. I had also been listening to lots of BBC Radiophonic workshops, and I'd seen this documentary about Delia Derbyshire as well so I had all these 1950’s, analogue-y synth sounds buzzing around in my head. Tom Hiddleston has a Shakespeare-like quality to his performance, so I thought this needs to have some kind of classical, weighty grandness. So it was a fusion of those two things.

You weren’t on set for Loki, and I know that is something you like to do. In the absence of that, what sparked your creativity the most?

It was engaging with the character in a really deep way. The storyline really got under my skin and inspired me. I had the Loki theme in the pitch, so that’s been there from day one. And as for the riffs in the theme, I feel like Loki is the Salieri to Thor’s Mozart, so I was listening to lots of that. There's a bit of ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ by Wagner in Loki’s theme as well. That was all in the pitch. Then I had a month to write the suite. That was the Mobius theme, the Sylvie theme, and the Variant theme.

For all the hi-tech stuff we see in Loki, the TVA is also very analogue in some respects and you’ve clearly taken that into account with the score. How quickly did you catch onto that and are there any other ways that are reflected in your score?

I sampled lots of clock-ticking sounds. I worked with Daniel Sonnabend - he’s got lots of old analog tape machines - and we were messing around with that. The tape machine player almost became its own instrument. We had this big church bell for the timekeepers at the beginning of episode four. That was sampled and then downgraded, so it gets glitchy as it goes on to signify what’s happening in the story. I was just messing around with a lot of that in the background, and it's all over everything. There's always an urgency and a time-ticking feeling in the background of lots of tracks.

How long does one spend listening to samples of clocks before you find the right one?

I've got a lot! I'm sure they'll come in handy at some point.

I’ve read that you wanted a score that “reflected Loki’s personality.” What were some of the characteristics you were looking to emphasise and accentuate with your score?

Something that I touched on with Kate, from reading the scripts for the very first time was Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange. In that film, Alex commits these horrendous acts and he's extremely violent, and yet somehow you connect with him. I feel like Loki is the same. He's a likable villain. In the series, he comes to terms with his fallibility and it is quite painful for him. So I suppose my job is to help him reach those emotional depths. When he sees his mother in episode one, his past is calling to him and that's when we hear those haunting Norwegian instruments that suddenly seem to shine. Yearning for your mother is something we can all relate to.

We’ve spoken a bit about the use of the Theremin. What drove your selection of the other instruments?

I did this amazing lockdown project for an ad agency. They kind of got all of their artists to play Pass the Parcel with a theme, and we just did this lockdown piece. I'm not sure how successful it was, but the person that I got sent the material from was Charlie Draper who's a theremin player and a theremin enthusiast. So he was in the back of my mind, and I knew I really wanted to collaborate with him at some point. He played on my demo. And then the Norwegians... I saw them at a concert in Stoke Newington about three years ago. They're in this group called the Lodestar Trio. They're amazing, and they play with Max Bailey. I've known him for years, and I just went to this concert. He did all these interpretations of Bach, but with a kind of Norwegian folky twist. I just loved the instrument combination of the Nyckelharpa, the Hardanger fiddle, and the violin. It sounds mystical and magical and amazing. It felt like the perfect pairing with Loki’s past.

I read that you started with the finale and worked backward. Is that an unusual way of working for you or do you do that often?

This whole show has been a departure from anything I've ever done before, in terms of the scale of it, and, you know, the resources. It's all just been different. I think Kate and Kevin [Feige], the producer, saw it as a six-hour film. They didn't want it to be a TV show. The thing about scoring a film is that you do have that time to really craft themes and to have more of an overarching narrative than you sometimes get to do in TV because there's usually a quicker turnaround. And I guess because of the pandemic as well, I had more time.

I didn’t want to just work my way through the score in a linear order. I wanted to know where I was going and then seed it. I think writing a suite before starting on a picture, and having those themes in my mind before seeing the footage was super useful as well. I think I'm always going to do that from now on.

Are we ever gonna hear the full suites somewhere down the line?

I had never done one before. And I was like, “have you got any examples from anybody else?” So they sent me suites from a couple of other composers, like Ludwig Göransson’s one for Black Panther. I was totally geeking out on that. I heard Mark Mothersbaugh’s suite for Thor: Ragnarok as well, and that was kinda intimidating. But it was really good to hear that they've all gone through this process.

You get to see these epic moments in Loki before there’s any music to it. Was there any particular moment you watched that you were excited to work on?

I read the scripts, and I had Mobius in my head as something very different. I saw him being a bigger person who was quite slow, like a kind of cheeseburger-eating cop. The way Owen Wilson brought that character to life was so brilliant, as was the chemistry between him and Tom. I loved watching their bromance. It was really fun to score them as their relationship blossomed. When Mobius is pruned, that was so awesome. I loved episode four. I had seeded everything and built their friendship up. That moment where Tom walks down the corridor in slow motion with tears in his eyes… I loved scoring that.

Loki is a man of many multitudes, and the show goes down a lot of strange avenues. I love the tracks where you really get to do something different from the main body of the score, like ‘DB Cooper’ or ‘Miss Minutes’.

I had a bit more time for episodes one and two. Like, I had a month to score episode one. By the time I got to episode six, it was really frantic. So, with the tracks you mentioned, I just had the time to do it. Kate was like, “we've got a source track that sort of works, but wouldn't it be really fun if we could do a version of it with the Loki theme?” And I was like, “yep, cool, let's try it.” It was one of the upsides to the pandemic, that we had more time to work on it and do stuff like that. I did a film before with where I got Chris Lawrence - he's like a bass player in London, and he plays in orchestra’s but he also plays at Ronnie Scott’s - and he did the baseline on ‘D.B. Cooper’. He’s so good. And I sang on that track too!

‘Miss Minutes’ felt like a moment to tip your hat to those sci-fi shows and do a pastiche. So I got the theremin and the choir and had some fun with that piece. And again, that's got the TVA theme in it. I think that’s really nice, and it's something they did with WandaVision as well. There's cohesion in the score. Even when you're hearing this jazzy track, you're still getting the Loki theme and you're hearing a different side of his character.

You mentioned how you had more time to score the earlier episodes. Was there anything positive about having less time on the later episodes? How do you prefer to work?

I remember reading something about people who can see colours with music. I feel that I have the same thing with a scene. I can watch a scene and I can start hearing it in my head, and as I get more into a project... I remember watching episode six, and because I was so into the project and into the characters by that point, I was like, that's what needs to happen. I could hear it as I was watching it. I feel like sometimes if you’re spending ages working on something, that instinct can get a bit boiled down. Episode six felt like my most instinctive version of the music because I didn't have time to fiddle around with it. It just felt like that was my very undiluted response.

I like it. Natalie Holt uncut.

I just kind of sketched it all out on the piano as I heard it. It was very quick.

How long did you have to work on that particular episode?

I think it was a week. It was a very quick turnaround with the orchestral recording, and I thought we were going to need more time.

How involved were you with the track Tom Hiddleston sings in Asgardian?

They had found a Norwegian song, and he'd already recorded it. I was like, I think we need a musician in the background. There should be someone on that train who’s a little bit drunk and has an instrument, and it's a kind of space-age fiddle, and they're going to accompany Tom in the scene and I think that's going to really help. Kate and Kevin were like, yeah, that could really work. So I did a few versions where I just took what Tom had done, added some violins,  and then improvised a bit in the middle where Loki sings to Sylvie. And they're like, yes, we've got to do this. So they went back in and shot a pickup of an alien musician in that sequence because I insisted. I really wish it was me!

We know that season two of Loki is in the works now. They better have you on camera.

Oh my god, I'm so up for it!

How did you find it working remotely? Were you involved in the mixing stage at all?

It was kind of frustrating. Getting picture to work in the orchestral recording sessions was a problem. Marvel is very strict about how a picture goes out because they don't want any leaks, so that was quite challenging. I could never send people the picture to play with. It's kind of nice for the musicians to come in and see what they're playing against, but there was none of that. That was a bit of a downside. With that said, it was easier to get hold of people because everyone was at home and really happy to be working. I don't know if I'd have got the job had it not been for the fact that everyone was suddenly happy to accept more remote working than they would have done in the past. So I feel like it's opened some doors. The frustrations and the benefits seemed to be in balance.

Speaking of opening doors, you’re only the second woman to compose an MCU score (Pinar Toprak scored Captain Marvel in 2019). That feels significant.

We're in a time, certainly, where I think people are very consciously opening up opportunities to all sorts of people that wouldn't have had those opportunities before, which I'm really grateful for. A few years ago, I wouldn't have gotten this opportunity until a bit further on in my career. So it accelerated things. We are moving forward. But the thing that I really struggle with… I went to a state school and I got scholarships to study music. It wasn't prohibitively expensive to go to university. I did a master's and I didn't come out with 30 grand of debt. The opportunities are here for me now, but I think if I was young and I wanted to go to film school I wouldn't be able to afford it.

So what bothers me is social mobility. I still think we're opening up our industry, but we're not supporting people being able to study music and being able to get into film, and being able to spend those years doing low-paid jobs from the ground up. I still think we've got a long way to go with that. But I think at my age and my level, I'm just privileged that I did have those bursaries and those opportunities to study music, and I hope they're still there for my daughter's generation.

You have a lot of synths in this score. How tricky was it to find that balance between the classical and modern instruments?It's a blend. There’s some in-the-box stuff. Some of the synths are recorded, and then I ran them through the analog tape machine to dirty them up. I've got a Juno 60, so I've got some analog synths going on. It's such a weird process, isn't it? Creating something and being like, no, that's right! Jake Jackson - who mixed the score - must feel like I’m a complete control freak. I was like, “yeah I really like your mix but can you just go back and basically listen to my demo?” I was quite specific with him. He did an amazing job. The D.B. Cooper track... I cannot believe that he made it sound like that. I've never worked with him before, and handing your work over to an engineer does feel a bit like, oh, how's this gonna be? But it was a really, really great experience, and I think Jake is a genius. He really gets it, and he was really collaborative and respectful of my intentions with everything. I never felt like he was trying to put his mark on anything. It was a really smooth part of the process.

What conversations do you have about how prevalent your music is in the mix when it comes to the TV side of things?

I was so obsessed with Loki that I couldn’t let it go. I went to the dub even when it was two o'clock in the morning. I just wanted to check in and I was calling Kate and asking her, “please can you turn the music up here?” I was like a dog with a bone until it was ripped out of my mouth and they were like that’s it now, this episode is locked. I definitely fought for things to be turned up.

You had a 32-piece choir for the last 2 episodes. What was it like to get that recording in? Are you watching as they’re recording it from a remote location?

They were a Hungarian choir. The male singers could really go down. I was adding notes in at the bottom for those guys to sing. I didn’t know anyone could sing that low. That was cool. I had never recorded a choir before, so it was a new one for me. I was really lucky to have Andy Brown from the London Metropolitan orchestra. He assisted me with the Brass and singing sessions.

I imagine that one of the cooler things about scoring something like Loki is that you are now part of the wider MCU universe. I think I heard hints of Alan Silvestri’s Avengers cue a couple of times…

I put in a Loki version of the Avengers theme at the end of episode 4. Also, at the very start of the season before the title card, it goes from an Alan Silvestri cue and then segues and then I take it over. It was really cool to get to play around with the multitrack from that. I was always a big fan of the Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther scores, so those were kind of my inspirations. I was just kind of honoured to be in the same league as those people and those scores because I thought they were great and quirky and had all these interesting flavours and textures.

I love that you’ve been given the freedom to be as bold as you’ve been with your score.

I wanted to do something a bit different, and Marvel's TV ventures... they're wanting to do something a bit different and challenging as well with this new direction that they're taking. It felt like there was a lot of creative freedom being dished out with this series, in every department. Kate was like, “let's try this DB Cooper scene with the theme, if it doesn't work then it's fine.” It was just trying things out and seeing what stuck.

I remember handing over my score for episode one, just before Christmas 2020. I'd scored the whole thing and was very nervous because I think it was the first time Kevin Feige and the execs were going to hear my stuff. I’d really worked hard on it, and it had a lot of live stuff. There was just one note back from Kevin Feige - push it further. I think that's so cool. As we went on the execs were really happy with it, I got calls from Victoria Alonso and Louis D’Esposito [Marvel producers]. They both rang me and just thanked me and they were like, 'we're just so happy that you've taken the ball and run with it'. I couldn't have asked for a nicer bunch of people to work with. I wasn't sure how it was going to be, I was a bit intimidated. I thought it might be a bit more terrifying. But actually, it turned out to be a really amazing, fulfilling experience.

Welcome to the world of Loki YouTube covers! How far down that rabbit hole have you fallen, and how much are you enjoying that side of the MCU experience?

It's really flattering. I’ve posted some of them on my Twitter. It’s just amazing how quickly people will post music from the show after episodes. They sound almost the same as my demo, and they’ve knocked it out in about two hours the minute after they’ve watched the episode.

Once your work on Loki was complete, how did you detox? Do you delete all your voice memos?

I've still got them. The TVA theme actually came to me as I was walking down the high street. I've got some in the bank for the future as well. I'm always noodling and sketching things down on manuscript paper. How do I detox? I just bought a new piano. It’s 100 years old. I haven't had a piano for a bit, so I've just been playing a lot of Bach.

[black-swan-slaps]

My Musings About How BTS Made My 2020 So Much Better

I’m never one to do year end reflections like this, but I think I’ll make an exception for 2020, considering, you know, 2020. Plus, the New Years Eve content made me giddy.

I’ve known about BTS since either 2015 or 2016 (I first saw their videos in a Youtubers React video). I remember being impressed back then when I saw that their music videos had around 100 million + views (look at them now, lol). Since then, I would casually watch some of their performances or interviews, but never really listened to their work. The closest I got was when I became interested in RM’s solo work in 2018 (I really like his song Joke, and I stand by that). I think part of my interest in him was because he spoke English during American interviews, so it was easier for me to find a connection. Besides that, trying to enter the BTS world felt, well, overwhelming. There’s just so much content to get through. 

Fast forward quarantine 2020. It’s the end of April and I have been working from home since the beginning of March. Their carpool karaoke video with James Cordon shows up in my Youtube Recommended. The rest is history.

But seriously, that video is just so much fun, and it was really smart of the editors to include subtitles. Very few American shows will bother subtitling the members (at least early on), but they often say really interesting or funny things! I wound up watching that video every day for like two weeks. I then started watching them on other talk shows, which turned into watching interviews, to then their music videos, performances (hello Jungkook in the James Cordon Boy With Luv performance), funny compilations, and then other content, like Festa. One of the first videos I watched was their 2019 Festa. I had limited context for the members, and didn’t think I would actually watch an hour long video, but I did, and I enjoyed it. 

My May became a whirlwind of watching their content and listening to their music. Part of me was hesitant to spend so much time losing myself in their content, but as I reasoned, I had the time, and I was enjoying myself. I remember honestly laughing so hard as I watched Run, and by this point in quarantine, I had very little to laugh about. BTS gave me a route to escapism, and I happily took it. 

None of my friends are really into Kpop, but I felt so ecstatic as I fell deeper into this obsession. They would listen to me a little as I talked about them, but I did overall refrain from talking their ears off. (Now, whenever I do get to see them, I just give a simple update: “Still really into BTS, btw.”)

Point being, I devoured their content. Run, Bon Voyage, docuseries, concert footage, hell, I even watched American Hustle Life. As I learned more about them, I fell in awe of their success and individual stories. I’m honestly just so happy for them every day. I’m seriously amazed when I think about how much they have accomplished. About how hard they have worked, how many records they have broken, how insanely talented they are. They are truly global superstars, and they are changing the music industry, culture, and are leaving a huge mark in history. It’s just amazing. And what is also amazing, is that being happy for them makes me happy. 

Being happy for other people and their successes is pretty standard for me, but it’s definitely a sentiment that has heightened this year. This is a year where we need to spread happiness, as hard as that can be sometimes. But, getting this invested in a band is a new thing for me. 

I really appreciate their friendship and bond. I know it’s not realistic for them to be lovey-dovey BFFs all the time, but it is clear that they have an incredibly special, and rare bond. It’s something that I really admire. (The Vmin friendship was one of the first things I noticed, and led to me getting interested in the members personally). Being American, platonic intimacy isn’t really something I see a lot, at least on the mainstream level (and especially between men), and getting to see these men work together, laugh together, and express their love for each other is just so refreshing. I truly hope that they are happy with each other. It is so clear, that based on the crazy journey they have been through together, they have a bond that no one else will understand. They’ve said it themselves that, in certain moments, they can just look at one another and instantly know what they’re thinking. That is so valuable and special.  

Their work energized me. I started working on a major project in May, and I felt inspired by them. They gave me the energy to push through. Seeing them be silly while also working hard also helped me to accept myself and be true to my weird nature. I used to be pretty shy and reserved, and never posted online, but I started to adopt Jin’s philosophy of just doing what you feel like. Honestly, I felt the most alive in the first few months of quarantine purely because of them and all the energy I invested in learning about them and received from them. (And it was a welcomed distraction from the real world.)

It’s maybe a bit strange getting practically new content every day, but I have found that between official content and social media, there is always something to look forward to. It’s a part of my daily routine to check tumblr and look for updates. It’s something that has been so helpful as my mental health started to decline around August (I’m sure that with quarantine we’re all in the same boat). These past few months have been hard for me as I’ve struggled with the effects of quarantine and a developing complicated relationship between me, food, and my body, but at least I have had BTS to look forward to.

And I guess that is the point of this. I could honestly go on and on about each member and how I feel a special resonance with Jimin based on his gender expression, or how proud I feel of Jungkook every time I hear him sing and express himself, or how Suga’s First Love stops me in my tracks every time I hear it, but I’ve gone on long enough. What I’ve realized recently is that BTS gives me something to look forward to.

This year has been bleak. We all know this. But what is strange is that even though I have had my fair share of struggles, I also had a lot of self-improvement. Those first few months of quarantine, the energy I received from BTS inspired me to work hard on my major project. I took up learning Korean (I really like learning languages and have been working on Italian for years. I highly recommend TalkToMeInKorean). I started working out every day and actually have stamina to do physical activity (something I was severely lacking). I made strides in my professional life and am working strongly and proactively toward my career goals. Of course, even though I have been technically successful, I still can’t but help feel aimless and lost due to the loss of connection with my friends and peers due to quarantine. As Christmas day was ending, I realized that I had been using the anticipation of the holiday to get me through December. Once it was over, I felt sad. What more did I have to look forward to? The world is still generally terrible. In America, we’re still reeling from our terrible political and covid situation.

But today I realized, oh, there’s still BTS. Maybe it’s silly to say, but it’s true. Yes, I have personal and career goals I’m working toward, but we have to admit there is something so unique and fun about following BTS. That week in October where they released performances and interviews every day on Jimmy Fallon, plus bangtang bombs, was one of the happiest weeks I had. Like I said, their happiness brings me happiness. I look forward to following their careers for as long as they’re active, as well as their solo projects and careers. Honestly, isn’t it exciting thinking about all the great things they will do in the future?

[dustedmagazine]

Ian Mathers’ 2020: We’re stuck inside our own machines

I’ve had a song I loved in high school and haven’t thought much about since stuck in my head. The song “Apparitions” by the Matthew Good Band is a fine example of the alt rock of the late 90s; if you grew up then but somewhere down in the states (or elsewhere) instead of my southern Ontario you may well have your regional equivalents, and like this one they may not resonate terribly strongly outside of their time and place. It popped back into my head after a long time recently and of course 2020 has changed it a little. A song that as a teen I felt keenly as about loneliness (albeit also about how technology can feed into that) of course now plays on my nerves as another small piece of art about the way that most of us (those scared and/or responsible anyway) have only that relatively narrow, technologically mediated connection to the people we love. All of us, artists and listeners alike, are trying to fit our feelings and art and selves down these little connections, with some success.

On a personal level, 2020 wound up being stressful in ways we couldn’t have predicted even after the pandemic hit. In circumstances that could have seen governments on this continent support those unable to work (and those who shouldn’t have to), support those workers who are truly essential, support workers and renters and even landlords and small businesses, instead we got a near-total abeyance of those governments using the resources we provide them with to save any of us. On a personal level my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to work from home (not that it didn’t come with its own forms of stress, and now that I’m off until January I have several work/stress-related illnesses to recover from) but still saw friends and loved ones lose good, used-to-be-sustainable livings overnight, saw family businesses succumb to a near-total absence of effective government support after months of trying to keep above water, etc.

It is probably no surprise that this is not a situation conducive to listening to music, let alone writing about it; I have deliberately and happily kept busy on behind the scenes stuff at Dusted that I could still manage but looking, at the end of the year, at the amount I managed to actually create is demoralizing if not at all shocking. I’m not sure I think next year will be ‘better’ in many important ways, although at our job there is a growing feeling among coworkers that next year has to have some work/life balance because 2020 was, maybe more than anything else, unsustainable.

That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time and emotion on music this year, and if nothing else constant sleep deprivation, stress, and panic meant I was probably open to being deeply moved by all sorts of art even more than normally (it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even read a sad or moving twitter thread out loud to my wife without getting teary, which is kind of… nice?). Funnily enough the band that did the most to keep me sane didn’t really put out anything in 2020. Personal favorite, Low, instead started, in early April, getting on Instagram with something they called on whim “It’s Friday I’m in Low.” With one brief break they have now done by my count at least 35 shows (catalogued here, by the way), every Friday at about 4 my time.

Admittedly it’s easier for Low to pull this off than some bands, since the 2/3 of the trio that sing are a married couple (they’ve had a couple of socially-distanced backyard shows with bassist Steve Garrington, but he’s mostly been isolating elsewhere). These shows have seen the band’s Alan Sparhawk take a mid-set break to do follow-up phone interviews with the acts featured in the COVID-curtailed touring bands series Vansplainingthat they started on YouTube, or just to give a tour round their vegetable garden and talk tips. It’s seen Alan and Mimi Parker draw on their impressive, 25+ year body of work (averaging 4-5 songs a set, I don’t think they’ve repeated themselves yet) and talk a bit between songs about pandemics, politics, song choices, and whether Alan should grab his bike helmet this time.

They’re not the only musicians out there speaking love and sanity (and playing music) into the strange digital interzone filled with hate and disinformation where we’ve all been forced to gather while locked down, but they were and the most consistent and steady signal being emitted each week. No matter how tired I was from work or what new symptoms I’d developed or what horrific thing I read into the news, even if I had to take an emergency nap while it was actually airing, every Friday the show was there. Once things do return to something more like normal, it’s one of the few things I’ll unambiguously miss about this weird-ass year.

So if that makes an argument for Low as my band of the year (admittedly again… it’s not like Double Negative has aged poorly, either), that does a disservice to those 2020 records I did connect with; even if there are still literally dozens I have to go through, many of which I expect to love, my top picks this year (if as unrankable by me as always) hit me as hard as any top pick in recent years did. So here I present a quick and informal top 5, which the rest of my top 20 following in alphabetical order. Here’s hoping for more time and space in 2021 for music, and even more than that, for more support for those who need it from those who could have been providing it all this time. (The Matthew Good Band, incidentally, always did best with their ballads. “Strange Days” is another I’ve had in my head these days; the image of moving “backwards, into a wall of fire” has stuck with me since the 90s and it’s never felt more grimly appropriate.)

Greet Death — New Hell

New Hell by Greet Death

This one is, in some sense, cheating; it came out November 2019. But that just means it’s the latest winner of my personal Torres Prize for Ian Being Late to the Party (so named because becoming slightly obsessed with Torres’ Sprinter just after I sent in my 2015 list was the first time I noticed that one of my favorite records of each year tends to get picked up by me just after I call it quits on the year, no matter how long I try to wait). This very doom and gloom slowcore/metal/(whatever, just know it’s heavy) trio at first felt very much like my beloved Cloakroom (whose Time Well has also won a Torres Prize) but sure enough nuances revealed themselves. Back in February it felt almost a little too negative, but then the rest of 2020 happened. And the extended burns of “You’re Gonna Hate What You’ve Done” and the title track remain searing.

Holy Fuck — Deleter

Probably the record I’ve been trying to write about the longest in 2020, and the one I’m most disappointed in myself that I just couldn’t get the requisite paragraphs together. It’s a wonderful effort from the consistently great Toronto resolutely human-created (and —mediated) dance music quartet, one that both feels like a summation of everything they do well, and with the addition of some outside voices (including strong turns from the singers of both Hot Chip and Liars) a step forward at the same time.

Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

As the year got worse, this roar of defiance only got more crucial for me to hear every so often; I was a big enough fan of it, even after writing it up for Dusted, that when they solicited fan footage for a subsequent music video you may just be able to get a glimpse of me in it. (I’m the one in a “No Tories” t-shirt.) My punk rock-loving twin brother was the one who introduced me to Spanish Love Songs and we were supposed to spend an evening in June screaming along to them live in a packed, sweaty room. I need that in my life again.

Julianna Barwick — Healing Is a Miracle

Healing Is A Miracle by Julianna Barwick

It’s a sign of what 2020 has been like here that even just this album title leaves bruises, and while I privately worried Barwick would have a hard time following up 2016’s sublime Will (probably my favorite record that year), it seems that continuing to take whatever downtime she needs to keep focusing and refining her particular muse has once again yielded amazing results. Anyone who thinks they know what a Barwick track sounds like should really check out, say, “Flowers”, but much of this record absolutely sounds like Barwick, just even better than before. She also boasted my wife and I's favorite streaming concert of 2020, an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this album with Mary Lattimore showing up.

Phoebe Bridgers — Punisher

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

I joked on Twitter recently that I have far too nice a dad (and far too good a relationship with him) to be as obsessed as I am with Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto”, but here we are. Like most of her generation, Bridgers’ social media presence ranges from shit-posting to inscrutable, but even though things are often just as hard to figure out in her beautiful songs (as they often are in life), there’s an emotional clarity to them that can just grab you deep down. Couple that with seriously impressive songcraft and the progress from her already astounding debut Stranger in the Alps and more than anyone else in 2020 I’m excited to see just where the hell Phoebe Bridgers is going to go, because it feels like she’s talented and hardworking enough to go just about anywhere and drag a lot of our hearts with her.

Other Favorites

Aidan Baker & Gareth Davis — Invisible Cities II

Anastasia Minster — Father

Deftones — Ohms

Hum — Inlet

Kelly Lee Owens — Inner Song

Mesarthim — The Degenerate Era

Perfume Genius — Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Rachel Kiel — Dream Logic

The Ridiculous Trio — The Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges

Sam Amidon — Sam Amidon

Shabason, Krgovich & Harris — Philadelphia

Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead

Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind

Five Reissues/Compilations/etc.

Aix Em Klemm — Aix Em Klemm

Bardo Pond — Adrop/Circuit VIII

Charles Curtis — Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

Coil — Musick to Play in the Dark

Hot Chip — LateNightTales

Ian Mathers

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

⚔️ Sun 15 March 🦠

Current things: tickets for Niall's US tour (pt 2) won't go on sale yet as they wait to see what develops, and Niall Self Isolates (be like Niall everyone PLEASE!) Frankly I've never related to Niall more than today as we both lounge about watching TV and celeb livestreams (he dropped by Troye Sivan's) and anxiously reposting things urging people to take this seriously and act responsibly even if they aren't personally at high risk of death. I'm not drinking piles of cans of water though cause I still think that's terrible, that's all Niall. Oh and he did the thing and tweeted the tweet we've all been waiting for- "now that we're on lockdown stream Heartbreak Weather" THERE IT IS. Sorry shitposters you've been overtaken by the real deal.

Also current, Liam says good morning with a selfie! Nice to see you again bud, but not much to report. Is he isolating? Is he planning on doing something? We just don't know.

And in not so current bits to tide us over during this worldwide pause on business as usual, Harry's got us covered! Tommorow we get his tiny desk concert! The perfect quarantine treat, truly, something to look forward to. Today we have a fan picture of him in London from a few weeks ago and some teases from Beauty Papers, a magazine with a Harry feature coming out this week. It's hard to really say but it looks to be artsy (well that part isn't hard to say, it definitely does, that's what makes the other stuff hard to pin down) and involve Harry's met gala outfit and maybe Harry in makeup, I mean he's always in makeup but like obvious gender bendy makeup, so clearly that's exciting stuff. Also there are the Aussie interviews still trickling out. He says his tour tickets are good value cause they buy you two hours of love from him, that it wasn't difficult to choose the naked picture for the album because they only took one, "the lone nude" (title of my sex tape), and leans into his Australian interview go-to, the shooey. Everyone's favorite is the show that illustrated Harry's call in interview with old footage of him and Louis being cute on an Australian yacht- now that's the not so current content we like to see!

Paul Arthurs (Oasis) answers tweets about Louis: "Love him" and, about Walls, "it's great." No word from LTHQ on the UK shows yet, presumably because the UK is being slow to ban large public gatherings and LTHQ need that ban to take the financial burden of cancelling off them: a shitty conservative government is truly good for no one, not even pop stars.

[sanderssides-springfling]

The Frogman

For @space-mothman 

Synopsis- Analogical cryptid-hunting AU in which they search for the mysterious Frogman for a college documentary project.

Warning- Swearing + Minor wound

Note- Hiya!! I’ve had a lot of fun working with the wishes you asked for and I’m super excited to see what you think of it! I hope you’re doing well :D

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Virgil held up the two near-identical hoodies in front of the mirror, deciding which to wear when a familiar head poked through the doorway. 

“Ooh, are you getting ready for your little date?” 

Virgil walked over to kick him out when Janus joined in. 

“Leave our darling little brother alone Remus, his boyfriend will be here soon. We have to find the baby pictures before he arrives.”

“He’s not my boyfriend! The teacher paired us up. I had no say in it.” Virgil said as he tried and failed to push the pair out. “And if either of you shows him any embarrassing pictures of me, you’re both dead.”

“Wow, how scary,” mocked Remus as Janus mimed a face of fear. He then added, “If I were you I’d go for the one on the left, it makes you look less…intimidating and murdery.”

Virgil swatted at him with the hoodie before putting it on reluctantly, huffing about how he was planning to choose it anyway because it was ‘warmer’.

Just then the doorbell rang. Virgil’s eyes opened wide as he ran down the stairs to get to the door first but he was no match for Remus. He shoved Virgil out of the way and opened the door wide. 

“You must be Logan. We’ve heard so much about you. Why don’t you come in?” He invited with a wild grin on his face.

Virgil stared daggers at Remus as Logan walked in, politely telling Remus he has a lovely home. He was wearing a jean jacket over an unbuttoned plaid shirt and a graphic t-shirt depicting Mothman. His soft-looking hair fell over the rim of his glasses, the eyes behind them taking in his new surroundings.

Before Virgil could tell Logan they should leave, Janus began his, rehearsed, warnings. “You better take good care of my brother, young man. I’m expecting you to bring him home with at least three remaining limbs and having gone through a maximum of one demon possession, preferably none, or else there will be hell to pay. I’m also expecting you to keep criminal activity to a minimum along with the use of venomous vipers, they’re nasty creatures.” 

To Virgil’s surprise, Logan had taken out a notepad and started to make notes, taking his speech seriously. Janus clearly wasn’t expecting this either as his expression softened towards Logan. “It’s obvious you’ll take good care of him. I’ll let you two go because I’m sure you have plenty of ‘work’ to do.” He winked at Virgil. “Just be careful.”

“But-”

“The baby photos and home videos can wait for their second date Rem, let’s give Virge a chance to embarrass himself without our help first.”

Virgil glared at his brothers as he dragged Logan outside, only mildly thankful Janus let him off that easy. What had he done to deserve being stuck with those two morons?

“Have fun!” Remus called out as the door slammed closed. 

“Come on, I parked down the road. It’s not far.” Logan set off walking away, Virgil joining him a moment later.

“I’m super sorry about them,” Virgil said. “Ignore everything they said, they’re not worth wasting energy on.”

“It’s quite alright Virgil, it’s clear they care for you. I have always admired the dynamic between siblings.”

“You’re an only child? Lucky.” He thought back to how embarrassing his brothers were. They took every opportunity available to tease Virgil, regardless of whether they were alone or with any of his few friends. In moments like that, it was hard to remember why he loved them. He reminded himself, trying to calm down.

On his worst nights, Remus would tell him a gruesome ‘bedtime story’ while Deceit badgered him to add a happy end. They would also take him to concerts of bands he liked and try to fit into the scene even though they hated the music and fashion. Seeing Janus in a My Chemical Romance shirt trying not to curse after jabbing himself in the eye with Virgil’s eyeliner was still one of his fondest memories.

“Although,” Virgil added, “It does have its advantages.”

Logan stopped in front of an old pickup truck. Despite the carefully polished hubcaps and fresh paint job, it had visibly been through a lot.

“Here we are, our ride for the evening.” Logan took hold of the passenger door handle. “The door can be a little tricky sometimes.” He rattled the handle, banging at a spot a few inches below it. The door sprang open. “Like to most things, there’s a trick.”

He pulled the door open fully, holding it for Virgil as he clambered up. “Uh…thanks.”

Logan proceeded to join him from the driver’s side. “It may not look it but it’s a strong and reliable vehicle, I spent all last summer fixing it up.” He said proudly.

“No, no, it’s nice!” Virgil reassured him. “Does it have a name?” 

“Why would my truck have a name?” Logan asked, appearing puzzled. He put his key in the ignition. The vehicle whirred to life.

“Nevermind. Are you excited to film our project?” 

“Incredibly so! When Mr Picani said we had to make a documentary on any subject I got super excited about the idea of cryptid hunting! Thank you for going along with it!”

“Whatever gets me to pass the class dude. Plus this seems like a better way to spend time than filming ladybugs walking on leaves and doing some boring commentary.” What Virgil didn’t add was that after seeing the excitement of Logan’s face when he proposed the idea, Virgil couldn’t find it in his heart to say no. 

He shuffled in his seat. “I’m also really happy I got partnered with you. I know we haven’t talked much but you seem a lot easier to get along with than the other people in our class.” Virgil smiled in Logan’s direction and despite the dim lighting, he could have sworn he saw Logan blush.

“Oh, thank you, Virgil. You too have ‘good vibes’ if I’m using the term correctly.” Virgil grinned, telling Logan he did. 

“How about some music?” Logan asked before turning on the radio. Pop music crackled out of it, gently playing for the rest of their journey.

~~~~

A cold wind blew through the dense, gloomy woods. In the clearing before it, stood a teenager speaking to a camera, visible in the dying light of the sun.

“There are many legends about the Sanders Wilds, however, most revolve around the same being. A creature said to lurk in the depths of these woods, waiting for unsuspecting victims. 

He has been described as a slimy beast with incredible jumping abilities, his hind muscular legs able to propel him forward metres at a time. He most often appears by the many bodies of water found in this forest.

Although no-one has ever disappeared in the woods, most locals swear they’ve met one of the unfortunate souls chased by the being whose very existence is in question.

He goes by many names. The Shadow, the Beast of the Sanders Wilds and recently he’s been referred to as ‘Scary Todd’ by a youngster from a neighbouring Elementary school.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows from behind the camera when he heard ‘youngster’ but Logan brushed it off and continued.

“The most common name of the cryptid we will be investigating today, inspired by its many characteristics, is” Logan stopped for dramatic effect. “The Frogman.“

“That’s quite the speech you prepared there” Virgil called out as he put down the video camera and rubbed his forearm. His arms had begun to stiffen during Logan’s monologue 

“Are you ready to go in?” Logan asked.

Virgil froze. There was only one problem, something he hadn’t told Logan- He was scared. 

Virgil knew that technically there wasn’t anything to be scared of. The frogman was nothing more than an urban legend, mere shadows and reflections mistaken for something, however, it was the what if’s that plagued Virgil’s mind. What if the frogman was real? What if he appeared? Worst of all… what if he caught them? Virgil wasn’t sure if he was willing to risk his life to pass a college class he didn’t even like that much.

“Virgil?” Logan looked concerned. “Are you alright?”

Great, Virgil scolded himself. This was exactly why he hadn’t wanted to tell Logan in the first place. More than anything he didn’t want Logan to think he was a nervous wreck, scared of a fake monster. Now he’d have to tell his handsome partner he was a chicken and he would totally think less of Virgil. Oh why does Logan have to be so handsome, Virgil thought to himself as he looked towards his cryptid hunting companion. 

He was tall, with a sturdy frame that was perfect for giving supportive hugs and his hair was unruly in all the right ways, looking good for running your fingers through. It was very difficult to focus on anything else, Virgil had to admit. Good looking people never failed to make things more difficult.

“I- I’m just… a little scared.” Virgil mumbled reluctantly. “As controversial as it is, I’m not too keen on the whole getting captured by a forest monster thing.”

“Oh.” Logan looked disappointed. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not too late to change the project. I can drive us to the library and we can get started in something different. All that matters is that you feel comfortable.”

Virgil felt touched. Logan was willing to give up something he wanted to do for his well being? It wasn’t often that happened. That’s why he was determined to go in anyway. “No way. We’re going in there and finding that frogman. Just… promise to protect me from any monsters?” Virgil managed a smile as he held out his pinky, holding the camcorder in his other hand.

“Pinky promise,” Logan answered solemnly, hooking his finger around Virgil’s. Then, he smiled wide. “Now, let’s go say hi to The Beast. And…” He paused apprehensively as if he was trying to pick out the right words. “If you’re alright carrying the camcorder with one hand, maybe I could hold your hand? So you feel safe?”

Virgil laughed, slipping his hand into Logan’s. It felt warm compared to the cool evening. “As long as you’re okay with shaky footage.” He joked.

Logan led them into the forest, pulling out a flashlight from his pocket while Virgil switched the camera back on. There was an eerie quiet only broken by the crackling of leaves and snapping of branches under their feet. 

“Hey, Logan, you know you can talk, right? We can edit everything out of the footage later.” There was still no response. 

Virgil glanced towards Logan, seeing him staring intensely at a spot in the direction they were walking. “Make sure you get this.” He murmured before rushing up, tugging Virgil with him. He crouched down next to an animal print in the muddy ground. Virgil let go of his hand so he could step back and get a better angle. 

“This right here is an animal footprint however it belongs to no regular being. While it seems to belong to an amphibian creature as is indicated by the pattern and the indentation from webbing, it is bigger than any regular amphibians could produce.” Logan splayed his hand above the mark to demonstrate. They were around the same size. “This must be the footprint of the Frogman.”

Yay, Virgil thought to himself. Evidence of a creature that might kill them. How wonderful. 

He walked to Logan and helped him up, keeping hold of Logan’s hand afterwards because there was no way he was going to risk getting separated from him now. He also enjoyed the feeling of Logan’s hand in his, it made him a feeling of joy that he couldn’t quite place.

They continued when there was a sudden rustling a few metres in front of them. Instinctively Virgil squeezed Logan’s hand harder, holding onto him for safety. They both froze. Logan’s torch turned to the source of the sound, a bush. A moment later a squirrel scampered out of the said bush, disappearing into the darkness as quickly as it appeared. Both Logan and Virgil sighed in relief.

“That sure was one terrifying squirrel,” Virgil said as they continued to walk deeper into the woods. 

Virgil attempted to strike up small talk again, not wanting things to become awkward. “I like your Mothman shirt.”

“Oh, thank you, Virgil.” Logan beamed, the way he only did when he was speaking about something he was passionate about. “I had a really big cryptid phase as a child, so big my parents decided to take us to Point Pleasant for the summer break one year. That’s the hometown of Mothman, they have a statue of him and everything. It was incredible. That’s when I got the shirt! It’s been a good luck charm. Not that I believe in luck but it never hurts something else on your side”

“You got it as a kid and it still fits? You must’ve been a tall kid.”

“It was the middle of their tourist season so they were sold out of all the youth sizes. According to my mother, it made a very fashionable dress.”

Virgil held back giggles as the thought of a smaller Logan wearing that shirt going down to his knees with a pair of fashionable red heels crossed his mind. For whatever reason, if Logan were to wear a dress, Virgil believed he’d wear it with stunning red heels. He seemed the type.

“Did you spot The Mothman?” he asked, only half kidding.

“Unfortunately not, although it was probably for the best as I was going to ask him for an autograph. I doubt that would have gone down well with Him.“

The idea of a smaller Logan wearing an oversized Mothman merchandise shirt going down to his knees and a pair of fashionable red heels walking up to the Lord of the Shadows himself, at least double his height, and asking him to sign his autograph book was so funny to Virgil that he stopped in his tracks wheezing, his eyes brimming with tears. 

Seeing Logan’s bewildered expression, he tried to calm himself. After a few moments catching his breath trying to keep a straight he was able to regain his composure. “Sorry Lo, I’m fine now.”

“Can I ask-”

“No” Virgil interrupted him. “It’s really for the best you don’t.”

“Alright Virgil, I’ll trust you on this one.” He hummed a song Virgil wasn’t familiar with for a few moments. Then, he said, “I had an idea for while we’re either walking towards the Frogman or further into the depth of woods we might get lost in.” Virgil wasn’t sure if Logan was kidding and frankly he didn’t want to know. 

“Yeah L, what is it?” Virgil’s mind started to race when he realized he had called Logan a nickname. While only a shortening of his name, it still seemed very personal and friendly. What if it bothers him? What if he thinks it’s weird? 

“Well Vee,” Logan paused to see Virgil’s reaction, looking smug. Virgil stuck his tongue out at him. He wouldn’t admit it but his heart would flutter whenever he got that self-righteous expression on his face, seen often when he corrected the teacher or had got full marks on a test. It was cute. Very annoying, but cute.

“We could directly target your fear of the Frogman. You would have to trust me though.”

“I trust you,” Virgil answered with no hesitation. He squeezed Logan’s hand in his.

“Oh…um…” Logan appeared flustered. “This is going to seem scary but there’s a very low possibility of a negative outcome. Now…repeat after me.”

Logan took a deep breath before yelling “Fuck you Frogman!”

Virgil startled, not expected Logan to be so brazen. Yelling was a common occurrence for Logan however such vulgarities? Directed at a possibly supernatural creature who was reported as dangerous? He shook his head in disbelief.

Logan looked at him pointedly. “Oh no Logan, there is no way-” He stopped realizing there would be no convincing Logan. “Fine.” He grumbled.

“Frick you Frogman.” The words sounded uncertain. 

“That was a good first attempt, Virgil. If you want to try again, you should really try to metaphorically shake off any inhibitions and really go for it. I did promise to protect you, the Frogman won’t hurt you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

They had come to a stop next to a running stream of water. Virgil slipped his camcorder into his hoodie pocket and let go of Logan’s hand, freeing both his arms. After running his fingers through his hair trying to build up enough confidence and jumping where he stood for a moment getting into an energetic mood, he felt ready. Or as ready as he could be. 

Angling his head to the sky he screamed at the top of his lungs “Fuck you Frogman!”

He laughed in exhilaration, adrenaline running through his veins. Virgil felt invincible. “And fuck your Frogmother too!” He raised his hand for a high five.

“Yes!” Logan exclaimed. As he stepped towards Virgil, he must have been too excited to look where he walked because his foot caught on a tree branch. 

Instinctively Virgil went to grab Logan’s hand to keep him up, however, Virgil started hurtling towards the creek as well, knocked off balance. He gasped as he hit the cold water, a moment later crashing into Logan.

The stream had been quite shallow, a foot deep at most. Virgil, quite luckily, didn’t experience the brute of the fall, having fallen on top of Logan. He rolled off and tried to stand. He would definitely have a couple nasty bruises later, he thought to himself. 

“Hey Lo, are you okay?” Virgil looked for the torch that fell out of Logan’s hand during his fall. It wasn’t far and within seconds he was shining it directly at Logan’s face. Logan didn’t appreciate it.

“I’m fine, I assure you but please get that out of my face. The light is blinding.” Virgil muttered a few apologies while helping Logan to his feet. Overall, whilst cold and mildly pained, Logan appeared to be okay overall.

The two were both standing up in the middle of the creek. Although their feet were still submerged in the freezing cold water neither seemed to notice nor care. Instead, they were both looking directly at each other. 

They inched closer and Logan began softly “Virgil, I’ve been meaning to tell you-” however he didn’t get to finish that sentence.

There was a raucous splashing sound from further upstream. Then there was another, this time louder. Whatever was making the noise was approaching. 

Virgil shared a look of terror with Logan. He grabbed the camera and started recording as a shadowy figure started to form. Its form was unclear, however, it moved forward the way a frog might, leaping up and forward. Virgil was sure, it was The Frogman. 

“What are you waiting for, Vee? Run.” Logan urged him to come however Virgil was frozen in fear. This was the end for him. He’d never see Janus and Remus again. He’d never tell Logan how he feels. 

Logan snatched the torch from Virgil and took his now-free hand into his. Glancing back to the shadowy figure a final time, he muttered a few profanities, irked, then started to run, dragging Virgil with him. This was enough to snap Virgil out of his state, as he started running alongside Logan as fast as he could. The sound of the Frogman thudding behind them, hot on their trail, motivated them to keep going.

Virgil would never consider himself particularly athletic, which paired with the fact his legs were quite short created a challenge as he attempted to keep up with Logan, however, Adrenaline paired with the fact Logan wouldn’t have let him fall behind if he wanted to keep him as far from the Frogman as possible.

The journey out the forest was a blur. Virgil remembered stumbling however he got back up immediately. Logan shined the torch in front of them so they didn’t run into any trees. As a few minutes passed the sound of the Frogman following them faded away but neither would risk stopping. They continued forward and by some miracle, they had returned to the clearing where they had started, Logan’s pickup truck only a few yards away.

Logan slowed down to a stop outside it. “It’s alright, he won’t follow us out here.”

“That’s… really… great… Lo.” Virgil panted. He could feel his heart pounding in his head as he breathed so heavily he thought he might cough his lungs out. “How…are you…back to normal…so fast?”

“Oh, I did track in high school. Now you stay there while I get something.”

Virgil leaned against the truck as Logan rummaged around in his glove compartment. He pulled out an emergency foil blanket. He wrapped it over Virgil’s shoulders. “I only have one so you better keep that on. That water was freezing and I don’t want you getting hypothermic. You’re still soaking wet after all. Are you injured anywhere?” 

Unsure, Virgil checked. Sure enough, he had a cut on his shin. Damn, it must’ve happened when I tripped, he thought to himself. Only as the energy from the run wore off, he started to feel it sting.

“Is it okay if I clean that cut for you? I have a first aid kit in the truck’s cargo bed.” 

“Thanks, dude, I would really appreciate that. You better get under this blanket right after though, you’re not allowed to get hypothermic either.”

Logan smiled then pulled out a first aid kit from the back of the truck. “You can have a seat on the grass.” Once Virgil did, Logan joined him. “How are you feeling?”

“Still in shock and denial. It’ll probably only sink in later tonight that we got chased by the actual Frogman. How about you?” 

“Honestly…I feel incredible. We saw the Frogman! The Frogman is real” Logan grinned. “Also, this might hurt a bit” he warned Virgil as he disinfected the cut. He was right. Virgil’s eyes pricked with tears.

“It’s a good thing my jeans were already so ripped, that way people won’t even question this one.” he joked. 

“Did your camera survive that? I hope it’s not water damaged.”

“Nah don’t worry, it’s been through a lot. A little fall and water aren’t going to be the thing to break it.” He inspected the camera. “Unfortunately…I can’t say the same for the footage. The memory card looks completely fried.”

Logan’s smile fell. “That’s a shame, although maybe it’s for the best. The Frogman can continue living his best life in the forest with no scientists looking for him since there’s still no evidence.”

“Really?” Virgil asked incredulously. “You. The smartest person I know. Is against scientists?”

“Well… I’m not against scientists but having watched E.T. as a kid, I wouldn’t trust them with any rare or unusual beings.” He put a plaster on the cleaned injury then looked at his handiwork proudly.

Virgil was bemused by this. “You do know that’s a fictional movie, right?” After Logan did not answer he decided it was best to change tact. 

“C’mon, join me under this blanket so you can warm up before we drive away. I’m thinking we go to mine? I can make us some hot chocolate and we can decide what to do with the assignment. I can also lend you some dry clothes if you don’t mind being dressed Emo.” 

Logan moved so he was sat next to Virgil, their shoulders touching as the blanket covered them. “Sounds great Vee.”

“It’s a shame we wasted the evening though.” Virgil moped, but then Logan turned to face him. Their faces were mere inches away.

“Actually, I wouldn’t call it a wasted evening. I had a lot of fun spending the evening with you. “ 

Virgil was more taken aback by that than he was by him cursing at the Frogman. “I enjoyed spending the evening with you too. You’re really kind and surprisingly easy to talk to. I hope we could maybe spend some time together after this assignment is over if that’s something you’d like?” 

Virgil felt the tips of his ears burning as his face flushed completely. He knew he was being obvious now but it seemed worth it. Putting himself out there didn’t seem as scary with Logan.

Logan spoke as gently as he had when they were standing in the creek together.

“About that. I wanted to tell you something before we were rudely interrupted earlier.”

“Mhm?” Virgil murmured, not trusting himself to say any proper words.

“I believe I have romantic feelings for you, Virgil. I highly enjoy speaking with you and when you’re around my heart begins to beat faster. If you were to feel the same way I would love to take you on a date perhaps? With fewer cryptids, I assure you. If not-”

“Me too,” Virgil said, in disbelief, cutting him off. He didn’t want to hear the ’If not’ because he liked Logan back. A lot. He took hold of Logan’s hand. 

“If it’s okay with you Logan, can I kiss you?” He was surprised by his own confidence, but it felt right. Everything felt right.

Logan answered not with words but by closing the gap between the two of them. It was short and sweet. According to Virgil, it was perfect. Perhaps the evening wasn’t a waste after all.

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

18.

I have decided to let Chris stay in bed with me but I said to him that we not having sex until we have private time, I still feel a little on edge about Royalty being around, she is a great girl but I feel she is a little standoffish with me, like she will speak to me in a big group, on her own she runs off, she speak to Mel more then me but I am not going to push her to speak to me, I will not get in her way with this because she needs to do it, as an adult I can’t push her with this. I am just trying to be a good person; I want her to like me of course. But this is the first night since Royalty being here that Chris has stayed in bed with me, I had to let him stay with me because he wasn’t sleeping well on the couch, and she seems to sleep well actually so it’s ok I guess but me on the other hand. I am sleeping like shit, as the baby grows my back gets worse so there is that. I did think Chris was going to be humping me, but he fell asleep straight away, he just knocked out asleep, then I couldn’t complain about my back to him but here I am awake. Now I am the one going downstairs “and what are you doing here?” I said a little shocked seeing Dennis awake “thinking and preparing, I am sending off the images I took for the Fenty Beauty range. Also I can’t sleep, how is the boss lady? The night is young still” I groaned out as I sat down “my back is playing up; she is playing up. So how is the little blog thing coming along, do you have a lot of footage already?” I asked, we might as well discuss “I have a lot, I am annoyed with myself because the camera is shaking because of me laughing, I wanted it to be authentic and I am just messing it up but it’s good, lots of footage already. I am trying to stay out of the way too. Also I was collating the footage and I caught on when you all was playing Pictionary, but because emotions were high and everyone was getting excited for the end when Chris was being Chris drawing, I caught Royalty tapping you on the shoulder like Rihanna, Rihanna. I was like what a cutie, I will be adding that” I cooed out “you think I am step mother worthy? Do you think I am?” I do doubt myself “you are worthy of anything, stop it” Dennis said, I sighed out because I just think I could be doing wrong.

I thought I would call my mother, see how she is while I am in Mexico “sorry Robz, I was in the bathroom. Baby how are you?” smiling wide hearing my mother’ voice “I miss you so much mommy, how is the family? Everybody ok?” I asked “no, it’s about you. How is my grandchild? I can’t wait to see you, how long till you leave for London? I want to go now” I chuckled “I know mom, soon. Just need more time to relax, my back is hurting too. I want to ask mom; you know Chris has other kids. I am like the third baby mother, like how do I handle the other kids, should I be involved or leave it? How would you do it mom?” I like to know actually; my parents aren’t together so my mom don’t fuck with those step kids but I will be with Chris “you love him so you love them kids Robyn, you want a happy home so you create that. Don’t sound so upset when you say third baby mother Robyn, this your first and it’s a special baby to you. You know what you been through Robyn so make it different, babies are a blessing no matter the mother and you know this. You should be asleep, why are you awake thinking these things? Jahleel should massage your back” I laughed, I would never trust his ass to do that “Chris is here, he will do it mom, but I will be a good step mother right?” I have to just make sure “Robyn, yes!” my mother said in a stern tone, that means she means that shit and I don’t ask again.

Third day running, I am doing breakfast again. I am turning into a housewife I must say “I have noticed though; I have not seen Chris stop smiling throughout this time here. Chris is so damn happy; I wish I could release some of these images and videos because they are so cute. It’s nice to see such happiness” watching Dennis walk over to me “really? I can’t wait to see the end product; I think I am just nervous about a lot. I have been put down a lot about my life choices. I am just a childless single woman, shit is wild but now that I am a mother to be, I am now the selfish mother that had a child with no father and it’s just shit like that, shit I read and I just get fed up” Dennis face dropped “you been reading the blogs again, I know they are being rude but they don’t know” Dennis put his arm around me “then they will say Rihanna went back to her abuser and had his baby, how dare you do that. I have been living under their rules, what about me? I can’t fucking win, I shouldn’t read it but I did. Why can’t people just be happy, I have to hide? Why should I hide, I have to protect Chris and me, maybe my daughter. I am running because of this, I am having to find places where I can live good, I am just having a meltdown” I sighed out “stop it” Dennis rubbed my back “keep rubbing, I am enjoying that” I said laughing “well we all have some type of meltdown, it’s good to have it. You are the greatest person I know; I have met so many people in my lifetime but you, you have a special place in my heart. You are such a good person and it does get you down when people don’t have the same energy, I know people won’t be happy for you, they never are but we are” Dennis kissed the top of my head “I love you” he is so sweet to me “I can’t wait for my daughter to be here, I am going to be so overprotective of her, she will hate me” I chuckled.

I had my meltdown; I just get fed up sometimes. I want happiness for us in my home, just eventually we will get that shit “little menace is awake, you have turned this home upside down. Hello” looking behind me, Royalty is awake, but I didn’t say anything, I smiled but she is still shy with me “I am not trouble!” Royalty didn’t just walk around to sit down, she climbed onto the couch and then ran towards Dennis “what you doing?” is she always this hyper when she wakes up “I am currently doing my work for Rihanna for her lingerie, look” I don’t know what Dennis is showing her “it’s big” she said “Rihanna’ bump is getting very big yes, so what are you doing now?” Dennis questioned her “where is my dad?” Dennis pointed at me “she knows where he is, go and ask her” Royalty’ face became ever so small and then smiled but then looked away “he is in bed asleep, you can go in there if you like” Royalty shook her head “you don’t need to be shy with me, just see me as Robyn. Once you see that then it will be better for you” Royalty giggled and then climbed back over the couch “she is Chris’ child, totally” nodding my head in agreement “I just hope she warms up to me, I am not that bad” I hope she does.

I can hear Royalty running around the place, only god knows what she is doing “I tried to find dad and I can’t so” she jumped over the couch again “I will wait here, where is he?” she asked “in my bedroom, it’s the main room. Once you get at the top of the steps, turn left” Royalty nodded her head “he was in bed with Rihanna?” I laughed “well when you put it like that, just honestly. Call me Robyn, I prefer that. It will make you feel better to talk to me that way” she looks so nervous to talk to me “you want me to take you to him?” I gestured, she may just want him “no, my dad is supposed to take me on a date. He promised but I think he forgot” letting out an oh “I can imagine he forgot, you know your dad, he is forgetful. Do you want me to remind him?” Chris is useless he will have forgotten “but he should remember, it’s not nice to break promises. My dad only sees me because of you, and I don’t think it is a bad thing but it’s not nice to break promises. It upsets me, he also said it to me. Well I heard him say that he said I do it for Robyn. And then I heard you both talking, but he doesn’t do it because he wants too. But I still love my dad, he is fun” this took a turn “Chris is just forgetful, he means no harm honestly. He just needs reminding” Royalty is not impressed at all “I don’t want to remind him; can I go out like visit places here. Why can’t we go to the beach” well this is not my place to say anything “I can’t go anywhere but you can with everyone else, you want some breakfast? I will make you something, come” I will have to sort Chris out, he is just useless with these things.

Ja kissed my cheek “good morning ladies, come here give me some smooches too” Jahleel leaned down to Royalty and kissed her cheek “awww, smooches for the baby too, let me see” Jahleel is doing the most “can you not! Leave us be” moving his face “anymore waffles?” he asked “no” I laughed “I ate them all Ja!” Royalty spat “aye, you little greedy” I chuckled sitting back on the chair “I like your cooking, it’s weird that you are cooking for me. Do you love my dad lots?” nodding my head “shocking right, I don’t know what I love about him. You think you know why?” Royalty giggled “he’s stupid, is it because he makes you smile?” I laughed “erm, yes I guess it is” I mean his dick does it too but I can’t say that “my dad said you wanted me to come here, is that true?” nodding my head “yes, because I know how much he does love you and I know he would want you here” it’s nice to see Royalty smiling “I went to your concert once, my mom took me. But you ignored me” I laughed out “well I didn’t think I would be in this situation, I also would have ignored your dad, it’s ok boo. But I just want the best for Chris as well as myself. I feel your dad has been looked over, people see him as abrupt, he has no manners and so on but he’s not, he is misunderstood and I have known Chris for years and I think sometimes we are bad for each other, but we are also good for each other. We did stupid things when we were younger, there was a lot of silly things we did” I chuckled “but can I ask” Royalty put her hand up “sure” she is a sweetheart “where have you been, if you love my dad then where did you go?” kids ask the hardest questions “erm, because” I drifted off “because I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready for your dad and his life. I wasn’t ready to be a step mother, to take on the things he has in his life. I fell pregnant and just like that I did it, it just shows I was running away from myself and the truth. The love never left us, we would be in the room and we would want to be close to each other. There is a lot of evil in the world and evil was winning, I stopped running from him which people have done a lot so that is why I am here now” Royalty is so bright, she understands everything “he is happy but I am sad at the same time, my mom said that daddy tries his best and I got to wait. Sometimes I wish my dad came to pick me up from school without me knowing or he just comes to my home. I have to go meme home and I don’t want meme and now he won’t be here and I won’t be his only princess because he will have two so I will just be left out, he said he is leaving and he never asked if I would like that but I want him to be happy too. He never came to my daddy daughter dance” I feel so bad, I truly feel she has unloaded her feelings onto me, baby girl is so confused on what she wants and I am just here like what the fuck do I say “people make mistakes Royalty, we are all human and none of us are perfect. Your dad does love you a lot he just hasn’t been given the chance to be the loving dad you deserve; he’s been not in a good place to love himself and you. I can’t speak on things that I wasn’t around for but while I am around I will always try and help him to do better” Royalty nodded her head “I love him lots, because like when he is around me we have so much fun and he is super stupid like me, I like it when people say we are twins”  poking my lower lip out, that excitement in her face “and you both really are” Chris is here finally, but he is on the phone of course.

Chris is not the best dad, I mean I think I can figure that one out myself but I think it’s just nobody gives him that chance to be better, guidance will get him through “did my dad tell you that meme banned me from going to his house?” shaking my head “meme said I couldn’t go because dad has bad things there, and my dad came to meme home and they argued but then my dad said fine you have her” baby girl has a unstable home, I can’t even stop Royalty now because she won’t stop telling me things “that is not nice to hear, adults don’t think of you that are listening. Uhh, Chris where are you going?” he has literally just come down and now he is walking away “oh yeah” Chris walked over and kissed my forehead “no I didn’t ask for that, I will be back. I need to speak to you. Ja, watch Royalty” I pointed, getting up from the chair “walk then” he is still half asleep “this way” grabbing his arm, I don’t know why he was running off “Dennis you look like shit bro” Chris said to him “busy night for me, I mean not in that way” Dennis does look very tired, hearing a thud and I looked ahead of me “Chris, what is wrong with you” he opened the door laughing “I am asleep still, I mean that blunt got to my head too” sliding the door shut behind me “don’t fall in the pool, let’s just sit on the loungers” maybe he needs to not smoke at all anymore.

Sitting down across from him “you slept well then didn’t you, didn’t even wake up once to check on me. I had a backache, but it’s fine. So Royalty is finally talking to me or unloading her troubles to me. What did I tell you about your big mouth? I kept saying to you, Chris stop saying those words to me, she heard you say that you’re doing it for me, that has really upset her now. Ok I get it, you are doing whatever for me, but she doesn’t need to hear it, that hurts her feelings. You know how sad she is but yet she adores you. I have told you, stop it. You speak to me when she is asleep and what is this, why did you miss her daddy and daughter dance? I am angry on her behalf now” Chris doesn’t like being told off, so he is already defensive right now “when was that?” Chris questioned “I don’t know, you should know. She said you missed it, doesn’t matter now. You promised her a daddy daughter date?” Chris squinted his eyes at me “maybe I did to make her happy” I sighed out “right, that is what you don’t do, action it. She said you have forgotten, which you did but you will take her out. She wants to go to the beach; she wants to go out. You take her out and make up for the daddy daughter dance. She doesn’t want gifts, she wants you. Girls do to be honest; I know it from experience, listen to me on this Chris. There is no Meme or whatever that helps you out here, this is on you. The girl is confused, and I need you to make her think this is the right choice. I said I would help you, I am. I am going to dress her up, you’re going to tell her she is pretty and take her out. Act like you remembered too, even if she knows I told you. I know you’re not useless Chris, you’re just lazy with it all because you take the backseat with your kids” Chris actually looks like he has been hard done by “she is telling shit because she knows you will get at me” nodding my head “is this what you going to be like with our daughter?” Chris shook his head, offended that I said that “case closed, they are both your daughters. You are picking and choosing your love, I know you can be good Chris let it happen” I said “this baby is my love child with you Robyn, I don’t know shit I missed out on because I was high as shit, I gave up trying to be a responsible dad even if deep down I wanted to try, there was no reason too when my mom did it all” understanding his issue “fine, it’s not too late Chris, you need to love your kids equally too” Chris just always got to be truthful with his words, sometimes he needs to not because he can hurt her that way.

[jgroffdaily]

Jonathan Groff sticks close to Lancaster roots while branching out in film, stage and TV

Conestoga Valley grad will move from off-Broadway musical to new 'Matrix' sequel on film.

When he is on stage at the 270-seat Westside Theatre in New York, Jonathan Groff says he often thinks about the Ephrata Performing Arts Center.

He is playing Seymour in an off-Broadway production of “Little Shop of Horrors,” which is being directed by Michael Mayer, of “Spring Awakening” fame, with Broadway veterans Christian Borle and Tammy Blanchard at Westside.

“Everyone is doing this for the fun of it,” Groff says. “It reminds me of EPAC. Nobody is trying to gain anything from it. There are no ulterior motives.”

The show is largely sold out, and reviews have been strong. Ben Brantley, of the New York Times, wrote that Groff “is generating major nerd charisma.”

For Groff, 34, being onstage is his “ultimate existence.” “That’s when I’m happiest,” he says. “ ‘Honk’ and ‘Bat Boy’ (shows he performed in at EPAC), it doesn’t get much better than that. And that’s how I feel with ‘Little Shop.’ ”

Hometown plans

Home is never far from Groff’s mind. He returns to Lancaster frequently, though sometimes just for a day.

“He was here for less than 24 hours on Thanksgiving,” says his mother, Julie Groff.

And he recently purchased a house and property next to his father’s farm in Christiana. It’s a place to live when he’s home, but also, Groff has plans for it.

“I want to turn the barns into creative spaces — a recording studio, an editing suite, a place to write, or a place to have small workshops,” Groff says. “I want it to be inspiring, quiet and peaceful.”

It’s in the future — Groff says it is a 10-year plan — but he is excited about the possibilities. He got the idea while he was playing Melchior Gabor in the cast of “Spring Awakening,” which he did off and then on Broadway from 2006 to 2008.

“Gideon Glick (who played Ernst and will be replacing Groff next month in ‘Little Shop’) was the first to leave the show, and my mother got a school bus and brought everyone in the cast to Lancaster,” he recalls.

“We hung out in the barn and had a bonfire outside. Gideon said how rejuvenating and inspiring it felt, and that got me thinking. It’s close to New York. Someone could come and spend a couple days here. My dad (Jim Groff) loves the idea, and I love the farm,” Groff says. “So as the years go by, we’ll make it a creative place.”

“When I bought the horse farm in 1987, the Realtor bought the frontage (of the property) and built eight houses. Jonathan bought one of those houses,” says Jim Groff, who is a horse trainer and a jockey. “The view out back is, well, you can’t beat it.”

Both Groffs note that their son won’t be tearing any of the barns down and won’t be changing the house much. As a creative spot, it will not have concerts or performances, but will be a quiet place.

“He wants to keep it all natural,” Julie Groff says. “It’s going to look sharp.”

Big movies

Groff’s career is going at hyperspeed these days.

He had to take time away from the “Little Shop” run for an intense press junket for “Frozen II,” the animated musical film that was released last month and is turning into another massive hit for Disney.

And it was announced recently that Groff will be appearing in “Matrix 4,” a film sequel scheduled for theatrical release in May 2021.

“He’s working with a personal trainer. The ‘Matrix’ people are getting him in shape,” says Jim Groff. “He’s working out every day, and he’s on a really strict diet. What gets me is he had to take a picture of everything he ate for a while.”

“He basically barely has enough time to eat,” says Julie Groff. “He is loving this, but I am sure it will catch up with him.”

There is no rest for the weary. Groff is set to leave “Little Shop” on Jan. 19.

The next day, he starts working on “Matrix 4,” which is being filmed partially in Chicago.

“He’s always wanted to appear in a big action movie,” Julie Groff says. “But he’s really a Disney fan. He always wanted to be in a Disney movie, and that turned out well.”

Indeed. “Frozen,” in which Groff voices mountain man Kristoff, was a global phenomenon and the largest-grossing animated film in history. The sequel is breaking records, too.

“I find it so easy to talk about ‘Frozen II,’” Groff says. “It’s so good, and the relationships with the directors and the the cast have been so positive.

“A lot of my interviews have been with Josh Gad (who voices Olaf the snowman),” he says. “We had such good time. It’s almost like a vacation.”

Groff says that when the first “Frozen” film came out in 2013, nobody expected it to be as huge as it was.

“We had all scattered after the film and didn’t really have a chance to do a lot of publicity,” he says. “So this was like a celebration for us.”

Anybody with children of a certain age will tell you how powerful “Frozen” was for their kids, particularly their daughters. Groff thinks part of the success of the movie was how it empowered the female characters.

“Kristoff is an evolved mountain man,” he says. “I love that he is there to serve the women — a man letting women take the spotlight. That flips convention.”

For a few weeks, Groff was all over TV, appearing on just about every talk show out there, from Jimmy Fallon’s “Tonight Show” to Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show.”

During his most recent appearance with Colbert, Julie Andrews was another guest.

“Can you believe I met Julie Andrews!” Groff says.

On the show, Groff showed footage of his 3-year-old self dressed as Mary Poppins for Halloween, and noted that his older brother, David, was dressed as The Entertainer, complete with top hat and cane. In the family video, David Groff says of his brother, “He has lipstick on — oooooh!”

“He was trying to upstage me,” Groff says, laughing.

“You’ve got a great mom (to let you do that),” Colbert said.

“I do have a great mom,” Groff replied.

“ ‘Mary Poppins’ was Jonathan’s first real movie. He watched it every single day,” says Julie Groff. “It was my two-and-a-half hours to get things done. He became obsessed with the movie and acted out all the parts.”

His father says that he has always studied movies and other actors onstage.

“When he did stuff at the Fulton or at EPAC, smaller stuff, he would sneak around the corner and watch them every night — watch the changes the actors made,” Jim Groff says.

“Even today he does that,” Julie Groff says. “He never stops learning.”

“I like to call him up and give him my notes after I see a show,” Jim Groff says. “We get a laugh out of that.”

Not easily recognized

You’d think Groff would get stopped by people all the time, especially because of appearances on Fox’s “Glee,” HBO’s “Looking” and the Netflix series “Mindhunter,” in which he plays FBI agent Holden Ford. (Groff says the show is on hiatus at the moment.) But he says he rarely gets recognized.

“I look like a generic white person,” he says. “And I’m mainly on my bike because that’s how I get around New York. I sign autographs if people ask.”

“He said he walked down the street in his King (George) outfit from ‘Hamilton’ once and nobody paid any attention to him,” says Jim Groff with a hearty laugh. “In New York, people don’t bother you much.”

“Things may change with ‘Matrix 4,’ though I hope not,” Julie Groff says.

But Groff hasn’t changed. He still visits with friends from home backstage during a show. He is still accessible and friendly to everyone he meets.

“With Jonathan, what you see is how he has always been,” Julie Groff says.

Right now, Groff says, life is very full. His career is going great, he’s in a relationship with New Zealand-born choreographer Corey Baker, who lives in London, and he’s closer than ever with his family.

“This is a sweet moment in time,” he says.

[sunshinejs]

The Last One

This one takes place during the Toronto show and supposedly is Connor’s last show (LISTEENNNNN my boy is coming to asia as well and i’m highkey mad bcs i’ll be back in uk for my studies by the time he comes to my country :( ) hope you enjoyed this one x

Word count: 3.2k -ish

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The day you were dreading for weeks was finally here.

 The morning of the big show in Toronto, and also the last concert of the North America tour, you quietly worked your way around the kitchen to get something to have for breakfast.

 Honestly when your best friend since childhood, Shawn, approached you last year asking if you wanted to join him and Brian on tour as his personal assistant, you didn’t think much was going to happen. Sure, you were blessed to be given the opportunity to travel around the world with your two best friends but you didn’t think you would get too attached to anyone on tour.

 Until you met Connor, of course.

 You met Connor late last year at a house party Shawn threw for his new tour family, in hoping to familiarize everyone with each other. So, yeah you met Connor briefly but you two didn’t talk much and you noticed he was the quite-shy type of person. That night after the party, you followed him on Instagram after seeing all the people Brian had tagged in his photos and he reciprocated it.

 You never saw Connor again until a few days before the tour started. He shyly approached you and introduced himself (like the gentleman he is) properly to you, and that was when you two started getting to know each other.

 It wasn’t even 3 weeks into the tour that everyone realized you two were very attached at hips. When there was Connor, there was you (for most of the time) and vice versa. You two did most of your work in pairs; he accompanied you on coffee runs and help you organize the tour schedules; you stayed up with him till the late morning while he edited footages and gave him your inputs on his montage ideas.

 And of course, it’s no surprise that the first one who catches on the little heart eyes you and Connor sneakily send to each other when the other one wasn’t looking, was Brian, who immediately told Shawn about it. The both of them could not stop teasing you and Connor separately about it until it completely annoyed you. Alessia and Liv caught on it not too long after the boys and the four of them basically made it their life mission to get you two together before the European leg of the tour ended. You didn’t know at what point their mischievous plans worked, but true enough you and Connor became a couple just like they knew you would

 The past few months have been absolutely crazy but you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. The late-night shenanigans with your friends, sneaking off with Connor for private date nights, crazy parties (4th of July and Shawn’s birthday to name a few) and the adrenaline rush from constantly waking up in different cities.

 As day passes by, you were getting more fearful for that one specific day where everything would end. The day where everything changes for the entire tour family because it was the last day where Connor, Alessia and Liv would still be around.

 “Morning baby” Connor snapped you out of your thoughts. You smiled softly to yourself as you lean back in his touch and let him press soft kisses to your neck “Whatcha thinking about, pretty lady?”

 “The past few months” You admitted; putting your hands over his and intertwining your fingers together “Thinking about how hectic it was”

 He chuckled lowly and you felt him nod against your neck “Yeah, it’s been the craziest times of my life”

 “Crazy in a good way?”

 “Crazy in the best way” Connor confirmed and slowly spun you around so you were facing him. He smiled softly and rest his hand on your cheek “Because I met you”

 You sighed and leaned forward so your cheek was pressed against his bare chest as you listen to the beating of his heart “I don’t know how I’m going to go on with the tour without you” You muttered softly, trying your best not to cry.

 “Hey,” He called and wrapped his arms around your body “We can worry about that when the time comes, baby. Tonight, we’re going to have the best night of our lives, you hear me? One last one for the road”

 Connor felt you nod against him and he pressed a kiss to your head “We’re going to be fine, babe”

 “There’s my favourite couple!” Another voice spoke up and totally ruining the moment you and Connor were having. Connor groaned at Brian’s voice as you let out a laugh and pushed yourself from Connor’s chest “Morning to you too, Bri”

 “What’re we having for breakfast?” Brian asked nonchalantly as he walked past you and Connor to drop his dirty mug in the sink.

 “Cereal” You answered, moving away from Connor and grabbed two extra bowls from the cabinet “There’s hot coffee waiting for you in the pot”

 “This is why we’re best friends, y/n” Brian sighs happily and went over to the coffee pot “Brashier, you’re lucky to have her ya know?”

 Your cheeks flushed when you noticed that adoring look Connor was sending your way “Yeah,” He agreed without hesitation “The luckiest”

xxx

“Your usual” You announced to Shawn as you handed him his coffee cup.

 Shawn looked at you gratefully as he sets his phone aside “Thanks, honey” He smiled, looking over your shoulder; expecting to find Connor not too far behind “Did you go alone?”

 “Yeah,” You shrugged and plopped down on the couch beside him “It was just a couple of blocks away”

“Connor didn’t go with you?” Shawn frowned after taking a sip of his drink “You two always go on coffee runs, no?”

 “Ah, that’s what you’re wondering” You chuckled, slipping your phone out of your pocket “But no, Andrew needed to talk to him about something. It’s fine, you know? Soon enough I’m going to be doing it on my own anyways”

 Shawn sensed that tone in your voice and he just knew you weren’t completely okay. He leaned forward and placed the cup on the table before turning his body to the side so he was facing you “Are you okay?”

 “Hm?” You looked up from your phone. When you saw the serious look he had on his face, your eyebrows furrowed “Yeah, I am. Why’re you asking?”

 “y/n” He warned “I know when you’re lying to me”

 You knew whatever poker face you had one was not working because Shawn could read you like a book; has been that way for as long as you could remember. You took a deep breath and exhale through your mouth, “It just hit me this morning that it’s the last day and it’s been bugging me”

 Shawn nodded understandingly, “Did you two talk about it?”

 You shook your head no “He said we’d worry about that when the time comes”

 Shawn knew you were going to continue so he kept quiet. “I don’t know how I’m going to do the tour without him” You told him shakily “We’ve been doing everything together, you know? How am I supposed to let go of that and fall back into a routine where it’s just me?”

 “Honey, you’re not alone” He confirmed, sliding an arm around your shoulder and let you rest against him. You started sniffling and he could tell you were silently crying “Hey,” Shawn called softly as he rubbed your arm “I know it sucks but Brian and I are still around, okay? You come to us anytime. I could go with you for coffee runs, Brian could help you out with the schedules, we’ll make it work”

 “And we’ll fly him out” Shawn promise, “Whenever you feel like you can’t handle it, we’ll get him to come out; doesn’t matter where we are. Everything’s going to be fine”

 “I can’t ask him to do that for me” You shook your head “He’s going back to UCLA, Shawn. I can’t be the selfish one to ruin his future just because I’m feeling clingy”

 “You are his future” He corrected, firmly “I’m telling you, y/n, Connor is so madly in love with you; that kid would walk to Antarctica if you asked him to”

 You let out a giggle as you wiped away your tears. Shawn pulled away from you so you two were facing each other “I bet you all think we’re one of those super cringey couples who can’t be away from each other for more than 5 seconds”

  “We definitely say that all the time,” Shawn shrugged “But we know how much you two complete each other. You two are good for each other” He added with a smile “Think about how shy he was to even hold your hand in the beginning, now he goes around yelling how everyone should be jealous he gets to kiss the most amazing girl in the world”

 You groaned, burying your face in your hands to hide the redness of your cheeks “He really didn’t have to embarrass me like that”

 “Come on, y/n, you know you love hearing it” He teased.

 “Shawn!” Tiffany pops her head into the green room “I need you next door to try on an outfit!” She ordered then smiled to you “Hi honey!”

 You smiled, waving to her “Hi Tiff”

 “Duty calls” Shawn said enthusiastically as he stood up and grabbed his cup “You’re going to be okay?” He asked you with concern.

 You nodded, standing up as well so you could give him a hug “Thank you,” You muttered against his shirt “Thank you for being my best friend, Shawn. I love you”

 He smiled softly and pressed a kiss to your head “We’re stuck for life, bug” He teased, knowing you hated the nickname he gave you when you two were seven “Love you too, dork”

 xxx

 It was a tour ritual to have everyone from Shawn and Alessia’s team form a big circle before Alessia’s set and they both would give words of encouragements. Tonight’s one was a little more emotionally then you thought it would be. With Connor’s arm wrapped around your waist and your hand gripping onto Liv’s hand, you were trying to keep that fake smile on your face.

 “… It’s been the best few months” Shawn smiled warmly to all the people present “I couldn’t ask for a better team and to have Alessia with us for the European and NA tour has been truly amazing”

 “It really has been great” Alessia agreed with a smile and tears in her eyes “Thank you for keeping everything so fun and exciting every day. For all the laughter and smiles. It has been a blessing to be with everyone one of you”

 “Hell yes!” Brian exclaimed “Ten years from now, we’re going to think back about this tour and we’re going to get all emotional about it, because we knew we had a pretty sick time as one family!”

 Everyone laughs, most of them with teary eyes having to be separated from the people they’ve called family.

 “On three,” Shawn put his hand in and everyone follow suit. They huddled for once last time and cheered loudly together.

  “You are not going to make me cry right now” Alessia shook her head when Shawn requested that they (him, her, Brian, Connor, Liv and you) moved to the corner of the hall for a group talk “No way in hell, Mendes”

 Shawn laughs in return and slipped his arms around her and you while the six of you gathered in a circle “It’s been a fucking crazy ride, hasn’t it?”

 “That’s thanks to you, man” Connor spoke up from your other side. When you looked over at him, you noticed the tears in his eyes as he continued to speak “I’m so grateful that you took me along with you on this tour. It’s been so great having to work with you and being around all of you 24/7. I’m really going to miss it”

 “Shut up!” Brian cried, trying not to tear up “Shut up! Stop trying to make me cry!”

 The rest of you let out a laugh and Liv teased him “Craigen’s gone soft, huh?”

 “The rest of the tour is going to be great” Alessia stated with confidence “You’re going to kill it, Shawn. And knowing that Brian and y/n are still going to be around with you tells me that it’s not going to be boring for either of you”

 “Nothing’s going to be the same without you three” You shook your head with a sad smile on your face, “Exploring the cities aren’t going to be as fun as it was when it was the six of us. Everything is going to be so different”

 “We’re one video call away,” Liv promised “Wherever you are, whatever time it is, we’re there”

 “And you’ll be back before you know it” Connor confirmed as his grip around your waist tightened “Then we’ll meet up and go back to being complete idiots doing stupid shits together just like we were on tour” He grinned.

 Shawn chuckled, “That’s the plan, man” He nodded.

 “I love you guys, for real” Brian stated. “Group hug?”

 “Group hug!” Alessia exclaims as the six of you squeezed yourself in for a big tight hug for one last time.

 “Do you guys want a picture together?” Josiah spoke up from behind after you all pulled away. He was smiling, proud that he caught the moment of the group hug he knew was very special for the six of you.

 The six of you posed for him a few times as he took many photos and then Alessia was off to perform her set.

 You, Connor, Brian and Liv were standing by the tech booth near the front barricade for Alessia’s set. For every show, you tried your best to come out in the crowd with the other three during her performances, and now that you were watching her for the last time; you just knew you were going to miss seeing her go crazy on stage.

 “Tonight’s a bit special and also emotional for all of us,” Alessia spoke into the mic after the song ended “Tonight is my last show as the opening act for the Shawn Mendes tour. I wouldn’t have been able to perform in so many different cities so to Shawn and the crew, thank you so much for letting me be a part of this amazing experience. And to the fans, thank you for all your support. I love you all from the bottom of my heart”

 “As you know, I just released an EP today…”

 “And one of the songs talks about my entire experience of being a part of this tour,” She continued to explain while grabbing her guitar from the side. The crowd cheered loudly for her “About the people I’ve been blessed to meet and work with for the past few months”

 “So, this one is dedicated to my tour family” She concluded as the drum starts playing while the big screen behind her starts a countdown from 3 to 1.

 It started with that old video of the six of you from Germany that Connor filmed; exploring the city late at night after a couple of drinks in the bar. The video continues to more random moments throughout the tour that were filmed by different people.

 Tears were forming in your eyes as all the memories came rushing in while looking at the short clips projected on the big screens. The ones of you, Alessia and Liv lip syncing to a song you couldn’t remember; Shawn and Brian pulling the whipped cream prank on Connor; dance sessions; playing tag around the arenas together; silly rehearsal sessions with the bands; water gun fights by the lake.

 You turned around from her, feeling all these emotions rushing into your body. When you met Connor’s gaze, you saw the tears in his eyes as well. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. The crowd was singing along with her as you let the tears roll down your cheeks, burying your head in the crook of his neck.

 “Baby,” He muttered in your ear “I love you”

 He pushed you away just enough to look at your face. Connor wiped your tears away and you smiled at him softly, mouthing “I love you too” before tip-toeing and pressing your lips against his.

 The arena was so loud but at that moment, it felt like it was just you and Connor in the room. And to you, that was the only thing that mattered.

 xxx

 “’M tired” Connor muttered as he slips into bed behind you around 1am. He wraps his arms around your body and pulled you closer “Can we sleep through the morning tomorrow?”

 You laughed softly and turn your body to face him. The room was dark except for the table lamp illuminating low light from Connor’s side of the bed. You nodded, “Whatever you want, bub”

 Connor sleepily smiled at you and laced your fingers together “Shawn told me what happened” He admitted a minute later.

 You huffed in annoyance that your best friend ratted you out when you thought he would’ve kept quiet about it “Of course he did”

 “You know I’d go anywhere with you, right?” He asked “I’d walk to you if you asked me to”

 You snorted, thinking back to the exact thing Shawn said earlier in the day “Yeah, Shawn said the same thing”

 “I would love to continue the tour” Connor stated as he brought his hand up to your head and ran his fingers through your hair “I want nothing more to be with you, babe”

 “But UCLA” You answered for him when you noticed the pause in his sentence. He smiled sadly and nodded “I get it, bub, I do” You told him.

 “I promised my parents” He said softly “I promised them I’d put university on hold for 6 months max and it took me a lot of convincing to make them agree”

 “I’m not asking you to go against your parents, Con” You shook your head “But I can’t deny that tour is going to be hard without you”

 “I know, sweetheart” Connor said with sympathy “But it’s just 3 months, okay? I promise it’s gonna be quick and then we’ll see each other in December”

 You nodded “Yeah, I guess. And hey, what’d you think if I enrolled there next year?”

 “UCLA?” He asked surprisingly “Really? Wasn’t University of Toronto the plan?”

 You shrugged, “It was the plan because I wasn’t open to any other options but now… Maybe I can start looking around outside of Canada too. Shawn’s taking a break from performing next year so he doesn’t need his personal assistant”

 “You coming to UCLA would be the dream come true for me, love” Connor sighed happily “But what about your parents?”

 “My parents would say yes if I told them I wanted to study in the UK” You said in a teasing voice “So, I think they’d be fine with me studying in LA, babe”

 “Come to LA after Christmas and I’ll show you around the campus” He said before letting out a yawn “Make sure it’s really what you want, you know?”

 “Mhmm, sounds like a plan” You agreed “Now let’s sleep, pretty boy. Shawn has that party tomorrow night and that idiot is going to get all of us so wasted till we can’t walk”

 Connor chuckles lowly, before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to your lips “I love you, babe”

 “Love you too, bubs”

[hearts-hunger]

I’m Happy at Home || part two

Missed part 1? Hop on over to my masterlist!

Part Summary: You and Teddy enjoy the concert from backstage, Teddy disco-dancing his heart out just like his father. When the concert is over, the boys find that despite the roaring crowds, they have no bigger fan than your adoring five-year-old.

Pairings: John Deacon x Wife!Reader; dad!deaky

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: None!

A/N: Ok lovies, here’s part two! I can’t believe I restrained myself to stick to my Saturday update schedule, because as we know I’m a sucker for validation, but it’s a good discipline and it’ll give me more time to finish the whole fic. I hope you like it!

“That’s Uncle Brian!” Teddy told you, his face lighting up as Brian began playing the opening chords to “We Will Rock You”. Teddy’s smile only got broader as Roger set in on the drums, quickly followed by John’s bassline and Freddie’s vocalizations as he played with the crowd.

“Where’s daddy?” Teddy asked, craning his neck to see through the smoke and flashing lights.

“Right there,” you said, finding him off the drum risers already. If there was one thing that could be counted on during a Queen concert, it was that your husband couldn’t stand to stay in the same place for more than a few seconds. Freddie gallivanted across the stage very noticeably, but if you took your attention from John for a second, he’d be off somewhere else before you noticed he was gone. It had always been something that amused you about him, and Teddy hadn’t yet figured out that there really was no telling where his father would be on stage at any given moment.

When John did find a place to settle for a moment, he’d more than make up for his lack of distance traveled across the stage by dancing. As soon as Freddie started singing, John was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his playing perfectly in time as his whole body moved along to the beat.

“Mud on your face, big disgrace!” Teddy sang with Freddie, his fear of the noise quickly overcome by one of the songs he’d known by heart since he was old enough to talk. He wriggled in your arms to be set down and you obliged, watching him with a smile on your face as he danced and sang every word. He danced just like his father, bending at the knees, jumping and kicking to the beat.

You looked back up as they transitioned to playing “Let Me Entertain You”, seeing John hop from one foot to the other on the drum riser steps. Watching him dance on stage never failed to make you smile like it had done the very first time you’d seen him perform, back when they were still playing pubs. You’d taken to calling him your “bouncy boy”, endeared to the way he put his heart and his body into every single song they played. 

No one had prepared you for how easily your heart would be stolen by another bouncy boy, a little replica of his father down to the bob of his copper brown curls as he danced. If you’d thought John couldn’t keep still to save his life, Theodore Taylor Deacon was ten times worse. Between the two of them they were never lost for energy, always fiddling with something and unable to stay still. Though some days it was a little hard to keep up with them, moments like this reminded you that you wouldn’t have changed your two bouncy boys for the world. 

You watched them happily, Teddy’s adorable laughter at the sheer energy of the concert mingling with the sound of the songs that never failed to amaze you in their beauty and intensity. At some point John stepped off stage to take off his jacket, tossing it to you without really taking his attention from the stage where Freddie was talking to the audience. You didn’t mind, knowing he was in his concert mindset and very little could pull him from it. You caught his jacket and folded it neatly over your arm, happy to help everything go as smoothly for John as you could.

“Can I wear daddy’s jacket?” Teddy asked. You breathed a laugh as you took a look at him, his hair damp with sweat, breathing heavily from his dancing.

“You sure?” you asked. It was always hot backstage even if you weren’t skipping around the whole square footage of it, and you could feel the warmth of John’s body heat still on his jacket. “Might get a little warm.”

“Just for a minute,” he pressed. 

You held the jacket open for him, smiling to yourself as his hands didn’t even reach halfway through the sleeves. The hem was nearly on the ground but Teddy didn’t seem to mind, beaming up at you as he waved a sleeve.

“Do I look like daddy?” he asked.

You felt such adoration for him you thought your heart might burst. “Yes, you do,” you told him. “Just like daddy.”

Teddy grinned and continued to dance, albeit a little slower with the weight of the jacket and the relative calmness of “Killer Queen” that they were playing at the moment. Suddenly, at the end of Brian’s solo, the stage went black; Teddy’s yelp of panic quickly turned to a gasp of delight as he recognized the transition to his very favorite Queen song.

“The machine of a dream!” he sang at the top of his voice as the stage lights flashed back on, his high voice blending with Roger’s raspy vocalization. You could tell Roger was tired; he’d been drumming his heart out as he always did, and drumming and singing at the same time was hard work. You made a mental note to tell Roger how excited Teddy had been to sing along with him, knowing it would make Roger smile.

The stage went black again as the crowd applauded Roger’s drum solo. Green lights dimly lit the stage and you felt a flutter of excitement in your chest as you knew what came next; sure enough, the deep twang of John’s bass strings delivered the first notes of “Get Down, Make Love” and you felt your mind wandering to your post-concert plans with your husband.

As if reading your mind, John looked over towards you as blue lights joined the green on stage, giving you a wink as he played the four notes you’d never been able to associate with anything other than being absolutely wild for your husband since the first time he’d recorded them. The song never failed to put you and John in the mood, and you’d drunkenly confessed that to Freddie one night at a party only to be met by Freddie’s delighted laughter. “That was the intended effect, darling,” he’d said. “I’m glad to know it works.”

It worked, alright; that much you could say for sure, biting your lip as you watched how John moved his hips against his bass and studied how his long fingers danced across the strings. You would have spent the whole song with John holding your rapt attention had it not been for Teddy wrapping his arms around your leg, clinging to you again as the song slowly dissolved into the eerie noise used on the studio version. The main lights went off and stayed off, only the glow of the now slightly sinister rainbow lights traveling over the stage giving it light. You picked Teddy up and held him close, bundled in John’s jacket, rocking him gently as you kissed his forehead. You had to admit that it was a bit unsettling, even for you, as the ghostly wail of the Red Special echoed through the dark.

“It’s kind of scary, mummy,” Teddy said in a small voice, his face buried in your neck to hide from the dark.

You patted his back soothingly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s just Uncle Brian and Red Special.”

“Where’s daddy?” Teddy asked.

“He’s okay,” you assured him, knowing he was worried. “He’s still on stage. The lights will come on in a minute and you’ll be able to see him.”

A moment later a whistle sounded, Roger coming in strong on the drums to bring the song to its rocking finish. The white lights came back on and you were immediately met by the sight of John bouncing and swiveling on his feet.

“There’s your daddy right there,” you said to Teddy. “See?”

Teddy lifted his head and nodded, the color returning to his face as he saw John was perfectly fine and in fact having a great time. If John was okay and thought it was a good time to dance, then everything must be alright.

Teddy seemed to need a little bit more time to get settled from that fright, though; you trusted your maternal instinct and continued to pat his back to soothe him like you had since he was a baby, holding him close and letting him rest his head on your shoulder again. Thankfully the next song was slow; Brian played piano and you rocked Teddy in time with his playing. You sang along with Freddie, singing “Save Me” like a lullaby to your little boy.

By the time Freddie started playing with the audience after the next song, Teddy was back to his usual exuberant self and happily joined in with the audience’s part of the call and response. You set him down and he mimicked Freddie in his wild gesticulations, the sleeves of John’s jacket flapping adorably with every movement.

The rest of the concert continued without incident, Teddy every bit as invested as the audience through the remaining hour of the show. You had to hold him back from rushing at Freddie when he came backstage after “Tie Your Mother Down”, knowing Freddie was only popping back very quickly to change into a pair of shorts before the next song. Though Freddie didn’t have time to hug and talk to Teddy like you knew both would have liked, he did give Teddy a smile and encourage him to keep dancing as he went back onstage.

Teddy did as Freddie said, dancing his little heart out until the very last song. He looked up at you as the strains of “God Save the Queen” echoed through the arena, recognizing it as the traditional end to Queen’s concert sets. 

“Is that the end, mummy?” he asked. You could barely hear him over the incredibly loud but well-deserved cheers and applause as the boys made their final bows.

“That’s the end,” you agreed. “Look, here they come now.”

Teddy turned when you gestured to the stage, his expression lighting up as his father and his uncles made their way offstage towards him. He took off like a shot towards his father, wrapping his arms around John’s leg. John stepped back a step to steady himself, a little surprised at the greeting, moving his bass out of the way so it wouldn’t hit Teddy.

“How was it?” John asked, a smile playing on his features as he looked down at his boy.

“Amazing!” Teddy gushed. “I was dancing with you the whole time, and it was so loud, and you played so many songs, daddy!”

“Don’t I know it,” John agreed with a chuckle. “You’ve got my jacket, I see.”

Teddy flapped the sleeves for effect. “It’s too big for me.”

John laughed outright. “I think you’re right. Come on, let’s go see mum.”

John pulled the strap of the bass over his head, handing the instrument to Ratty to be put away. He guided Teddy with a protective touch to his shoulder, steering him towards you, and you couldn’t help but smile at your two favorite boys.

“Fancy seeing you here,” John said, drawing close to you. You could tell from his voice alone that he was tired; you ran your hand up and down his arm in an effort to soothe.

“I was off with my boyfriend,” you teased. “But I ditched him to come see you.”

He grinned. “As any proper groupie should do. I’d expect nothing less from the girl who’s been coming to my shows for as long as you have.”

Teddy looked up at the two of you. “What’s a groupie?”

You met each other’s eyes, amusement and surprise warring for dominance as you tried to think of what to say in answer. Thankfully you were rescued by Roger, who scooped Teddy up and set him on his shoulders. 

“You’ll learn all about what groupies are when you’re older, little rock ‘n roll man,” Roger said. Teddy was happy to forget it in favor of chattering on about how loudly he’d sung “I’m in Love With My Car”, which brought a huge grin to Roger’s face as he listened. Roger took Teddy over to see Brian and Freddie at his request, giving you and John a moment’s peace from your energetic little boy.

“How was it?” you asked him. It had seemed perfect from your end, but you knew there was an added layer of perspective John had from actually performing.

“Good, yeah,” he said. “No major hiccups, no broken strings or anything like that. What did you think?”

You smiled. “I thought it was great. ‘Get Down, Make Love’ scared Teddy a bit, but other than that we both loved it.”

John gave you a knowing smirk. “Oh yeah? And what did you think of ‘Get Down, Make Love’, Mrs. Deacon?”

“Other than it making me jealous of your bass?” you ask, giving him a coy smile. “Between your hips and your fingers, I couldn’t help but wish you were playing me instead.”

You twined your fingers with his and give him a kiss; though he responded as he always did in leaning closer to your touch, you could tell he wasn’t nearly as passionate as you were. You pulled back and took his hand in both of yours, noticing the slight tremor there. He was always a bit shaky after shows as he came down from the adrenaline high, and you gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Tired?” you asked.

His grimace was apologetic. “Kind of, sorry. I know we had plans.”

“That’s ok, honey,” you assured him gently. Truth be told you were tired too, and though you could have gladly gone a few rounds in the dressing room if he’d been up for it, you were also perfectly happy to take him home and let the three of you get some rest. “It’ll make next time even better. Let’s get Teddy and head home, how does that sound?”

He gave a sigh of relief. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

You gave him a chaste kiss and brushed his sweat-dampened curls back from his face, smiling up at him as you kept your hand in his and looked over to where Brian, Freddie, and Roger were all watching Teddy demonstrate his dance moves. For three rock ‘n rollers, they always melted the instant Teddy came around and showed their true natures as the huge softies they were at heart. Freddie gave a delighted laugh as Teddy mimicked a signature Mercury move.

“Perfect,” Freddie said. “Better than I do it, even.”

Teddy beamed under the love and attention of his uncles; even though he was shy by nature, just like his father, he was completely at home with Roger, Brian, and Freddie. You leaned closer to John and he put his arm around your waist as you watched the people you loved most in the world.

Teddy yawned and rubbed the too-long sleeve of John’s jacket over his face. “Red Special didn’t sound like a guitar, Uncle Brian.”

Brian chuckled as he picked Teddy up and held him close to his chest. “What did she sound like?”

Teddy rested his head on Brian’s collarbone. “She sounded like a ghost one time and it was scary.”

“Oh no,” Brian said, giving a sympathetic laugh. “I think I know which song you’re talking about. I’m sorry it scared you, little bear.”

Brian had called Teddy “little bear” since the day he’d come to the hospital to see the newest addition to the Deacon family, shyly presenting an astronaut teddy bear as a gift for the baby. You hadn’t told anyone what you were naming your son - Roger firmly denied that it made him tear up to know he was the boy’s namesake, but you knew better - and it had seemed like fate that Brian had brought a teddy bear for him. Too nervous to hold him at first, Brian had tucked the bear next to Teddy in the hospital bassinet. Freddie had said how sweet it was to see the two little bears together, and Brian had taken the name to heart. From then on, Theodore Taylor Deacon had always been Brian’s “little bear”. 

“It’s okay,” Teddy said. “It was only scary for a minute, but then Red Special sounded like Red Special again.”

“Good thing you reminded me not to tighten the strings too much, hm?”

Teddy smiled. “Good thing!”

As Teddy yawned again, you knew it was time to start heading home. Doubtless the boys had plans to go out and party like they usually did after shows, but for your five-year-old, bedtime had long since passed. You eased out of John’s hold and went over to Brian, taking your little boy from him.

“Say goodnight,” you said as he wrapped his arms around your neck.

 “Goodnight,” Teddy said, giving his uncles a little wave. All three smiled and waved back.

“Night, Teddy,” Roger said.

“Thanks for coming to see us,” Freddie added.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Brian said.

Teddy nodded. “Okay.”

John came up behind you and put his arm around your waist. “Night, boys. You’re off to dance the night away, I presume?”

“Roger’s already got a date set up, haven’t you, Rog?” Freddie teased.

Roger grinned. “I have, thank you.”

“Freddie and I are going out to that club we saw last night,” Brian added. “See if we can’t drum up a little fun here in the lovely city of Montreal.”

John smiled. “Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Freddie laughed. “You stuck your hand through a plate-glass window, darling. I think it’s safe to say there’s very little you wouldn’t do.”

John chuckled. “That’s true,” he admitted. “Be safe. We’ll leave the door unlocked for you when you come in.”

“A gentleman, as always,” Roger teased. “What would we do without you?”

“Are you coming home soon, Uncle Rog?” Teddy asked, his voice soft with sleepiness.

Roger looked like he could have melted. “I might have a bit of a sleepover at my friend’s house, but Uncle Brian and Uncle Freddie will come home tonight. And I’ll come home tomorrow.”

“Can we play tomorrow?” Teddy asked.

“To your heart’s content, kiddo,” Roger promised. “So be good for mummy and daddy and get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” Teddy agreed.

You shifted Teddy on your hip. “You remember the address?” you asked the boys.

All three of them recited the address of your grandparents’ summer home back to you.

“Let’s hope your memory stays intact when you’re drunk,” John teased.

“Call if you can’t remember it or get in some kind of trouble,” you reminded them, hearing your worried mom voice surface almost involuntarily. They smiled as they recognized your tone, one you’d used even before having Teddy as you fussed over the four of them.

“Will do,” Brian promised.

“Go on and get that baby into bed,” Freddie said. “He’s nearly asleep already.”

“Which one?” you joked. You knew he was referring to Teddy, but looking at your husband, you knew he was nearly as ready for bed as his son.

“You’re teasing, but he really does look dead on his feet,” Freddie said. He smiled at John. “Let your lady take you home, Deaky.”

John chuckled. “If you insist. Goodnight, all.”

“Goodnight,” they chorused back. You let John lead you back to the dressing room, his hand settled protectively on the small of your back as Teddy leaned his head on your shoulder.

Read part three!

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[hlupdate]

Boy band heartthrob-turned-rocker Harry Styles hasn't released new music or toured in more than a year now -- but that doesn't mean he hasn't been busy.

In fact, the "Sign of the Times" crooner has stayed plenty active. Since releasing his self-titled debut in May 2017, Styles starred in his first feature film with Dunkirk, embarked on a world tour, co-chaired the Met Gala and even modeled for Gucci.

And with the news that he will grace the cover of Rolling Stone next month, it can only be expected that new music is on the way from the One Direction singer. So before the world is swept up in a new era of Styles, catch yourself up on what he's been up to below.

Since going solo, Styles has...

Released a documentary

Just a week after his debut album Harry Styles dropped, Harry Styles: Behind the Album was released via Apple Music. The documentary-style film chronicles the making of the record with behind-the-scenes footage and interviews.

Guest-starred on The Late Late Show With James Corden three times

Styles' first Late Late Show appearance after his album release was in May 2017, accompanied by a charming episode of Carpool Karaoke.

Styles returned on Dec. 13 of that year to guest-host the show while Corden's wife gave birth, manning the stage like a pro with a witty monologue.

Most recently, Styles joined Corden for a dodgeball game in London this June, teaming up with Corden, John Bradley, Benedict Cumberbatch and Reggie Watts for a must-see competition (and plenty of cute moments from Styles).

Appeared in Dunkirk

In what was an unexpected career move, Styles appeared as a soldier in Christopher Nolan's war epic Dunkirk in July 2017. Though his role was minor, Styles' performance packed enough of a punch to impress.

Performed on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge

In September 2017, Styles stopped by BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge to perform two covers: "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and DJ Khaled's "Wild Thoughts." Putting his own spin on each, Styles once again proved his raw talent.

Embarked on a world tour

Beginning in San Francisco on Sept. 19, 2017, and ending in Los Angeles on July 14, 2018, Harry Styles: Live On Tour took the star throughout North America, Europe, Asia, Australia and South America for 89 total shows. The tour was sold-out and had Kacey Musgraves, Warpaint and Leon Bridges as opening acts.

Proved himself a true philanthropist

Though Styles has always been vocal about his beliefs, he's really stepped it up as a solo act. In October 2017, he performed at CBS Radio's We Can Survive concert for breast cancer awareness at the Hollywood Bowl and sold tees and hoodies throughout his tour sporting the phrase "Treat People With Kindness" in order to advocate for LGBTQ rights. In total, Styles' tour raised more than $1.2 million for various charities, helped attendees register to vote and engaged in a water conservation effort. In addition, Harry Styles: Live On Tour was named on sexual harassment prevention charity Time's Up's 2018 donor list.

Had his own special on the BBC

The hour-long special Harry Styles at the BBC aired on Nov. 2, 2017, including a live performance from Styles and interview with BBC Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw.

Won two iHeartRadio Music Awards

On March 3, 2018, Styles won two iHeartRadio Music Awards: best music video for "Sign of the Times" and best cover song for his performance of "Still the One" by Shania Twain with Kacey Musgraves.

Co-wrote a song

Styles has a writing credit on Bleachers' "Alfie's Song (Not So Typical Love Song)," which appeared on the soundtrack for the 2018 film Love, Simon. However, this was not Styles' first time writing a song for someone else: He has also co-written songs for Ariana Grande and Michael Bublé.

Modeled for Gucci

The singer has become a mainstay for Gucci, appearing in three of their campaigns thus far -- two for Gucci Tailoring and most recently for Gucci's newest perfume, Mémoire d'une Odeur. The promotional videos for each are almost too much to handle.

Executive-produced a TV show

One of the least-known facts about Styles: He was actually an executive producer on the CBS sitcom Happy Together, which was loosely based on his own life. Sadly, the show was canceled in May after just one season.

Interviewed Timothée Chalamet

Ah, the interview that almost broke the internet. On Nov. 1, 2018, a match made in heaven became a reality when Harry Styles chatted with fellow dreamboat Timothée Chalamet for i-D. Touching on everything from masculinity to that peach scene in Call Me by Your Name, it's a thrilling read to say the least.

Won Gay Times' Honour for LGBTQ Advocate

As a result of his "Treat People With Kindness" campaign and The Rainbow Project that his fans carried out at his MSG show, Gay Times gave Styles their Honour for LGBTQ Advocate Award on Nov. 8, 2018. "Styles uses his platform to make sure his LGBTQ fans feel accepted and noticed, which was most superbly displayed earlier this year with The Rainbow Project," Gay Times' announcement article said.

Gone to a lot of concerts

Seriously, it's almost too many. On Nov. 30, 2018, Styles made an appearance at Bring Me the Horizon's London show, even posing for this cute selfie with lead singer Oli Sykes.

On Dec. 13, 2018, Styles was spotted supporting friend Stevie Nicks at Fleetwood Mac's concert in Los Angeles. Enjoy this blurry video of him singing along to "Go Your Own Way."

Only three days later, Styles went to Paul McCartney's show in London, even pausing to take a few pics with fans.

The next time Styles was seen out at a concert was to catch Van Morrison at The Wiltern in Los Angeles on Feb. 5. The two hung out backstage and snapped this adorable pic, which also sparks the realization that Styles has worn that gray cap to every concert thus far...

Next up on Styles' concert schedule was an LA show from King Princess, whom Styles reportedly asked to open for him at Madison Square Garden. Though she declined, it's great to see that Styles is still supportive.

Styles also saw K-pop group BlackPink on April 17 in Los Angeles, adding fuel to the fire that he was dating BlackPink member Jennie.

Styles caught a Fleetwood Mac show on June 18, but this time in London, where Nicks actually dedicated her performance of "Landslide" to him.

One Direction stans everywhere freaked out when both Styles and Niall Horan went to the Eagles concert in London on June 23. Though the photos are almost too blurry to tell, just the thought of the two enjoying a night out together had Directioners speculating at a 1D reunion.

The most recent Styles concert outing was Ariana Grande's London show on Aug. 17, where he hung out with Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, getting the Internet very excited.

Partied it up in Japan

Styles has spent a good amount of time in Tokyo this year, even meeting up with some of the Queer Eye guys for karaoke. Here's him and Bobby Berk singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" for your viewing pleasure.

Become besties with Stevie Nicks and inducted her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Styles and Nicks have sparked up quite a friendship since his album dropped, performing several times together including at the 2019 Gucci Cruise. The two are so close that Styles inducted Nicks into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this March, making a sweet speech and joining her to sing "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around."

Co-chaired the Met Gala

In a look that truly broke the Internet, Styles stunned at the 2019 Met Gala on May 6 as a co-chair. Dressed in a gender-blurring Gucci getup, Styles proved himself a fashion icon.

In an interview at the event with Liza Koshy, Styles said that the theme of camp is about "enjoyment, non-judgment and having fun with clothes."

Almost had two huge movie roles

This summer, Styles was in the running to play Elvis in Baz Luhrmann's upcoming biopic and even "in talks" with Disney to be Prince Eric in the upcoming Little Mermaid live-action remake. Despite initial conflicting reports about Prince Eric, Styles will not be playing either role.

Worked on new music (and music videos)

Styles has been spotted on set for a music video (or maybe two?) in both Scotland and Mexico this August -- which can only mean that new music must be coming soon. Check out these behind-the-scenes snaps.

Graces the cover of Rolling Stone's next issue

And finally, in another telltale hint that new music is to come, Styles was revealed as the cover star for Rolling Stone's September issue on Aug. 19. The sizzling-hot shirtless cover came with reports from Us Weekly that his next album would be coming late this summer or early fall. One can only hope!

[darlingnisi]

Celebration 2019 VIP Day 4

Opening Session

They had outfits set up on the a stage in the soundstage. This day was particularly interesting to me as we got to see these up close

JD Steele sing along was Boys and Girls

Screening August 14, 2007 London

1999

Musicology

Cream

U Got the Look Shh

Take Me With U

Guitar

Somewhere Here on Earth

7

Forever in My Life

Revolution Panel

Moderator : Duane Tuhdal

Did P talk about Paisley Park when you guys were together?

“Constant desire by him to find a place where everyone could go”

(Then it just wandered a bit for them sharing stories”

“If you ever said no to him he’d be like ‘next’”

If you look at your watch around him he’d be like “You got somewhere better to go?” - Wendy

I tried to have a social life. He flew me to LA and picked me up from the airport. He said “Mark I know you have a band”. ( Mazarati) Mark would go to their shows in a mask to not be discovered.

Prince didn’t have to compete with anyone...he lived and breathed music and sound it was natural

“It’s all he lived to do” - Mark

He could play what he heard all in one take...would start with the drum track first.

Inspiration Behind All My Dreams : W&L took Prince to a Kid Creole and the Coconuts show. August came out with a megaphone...All My Dreams has that same effect

“Don’t take my personal stuff and make it yours...he had to dominate whatever it was...” Lisa on Prince’s inspiration

You all were around for about 3 years...do you consider 1999 a revolution album?

“1999 not really” - Wendy but she does consider SOTT a rev album

P workshopped Time/Vanity 6/Family songs with The Revolution “We were his muse”

Brown Mark is the pancake maker

Bruno’s Barbecue and The Loon were some of Prince’s favorite places 

Funny to go out to eat. P would order the entire menu and nibble a little of each.

Doritos were def a favorite. “you’d walk in the room and it would smell like toes”

What was it like when the phone rang at 3am?

“Don’t answer!!!” - Wendy

He had something hot “I’m cutting and you’re missing out! *click”

Hucky Austin sent to retrieve Brownmark “Mark You Know good and well I can’t go back without you...”

We hardly got paid anything, but we were there.

Bobby talked about being at a party for his wedding and at 10:30pm Prince called a rehearsal...the origin of Empty Room.

“His emotions turned into music”

BrownMark did a lot of the choreography for the Revolution in Purple Rain.

“We understood his emotions..we all went through it together as a brand new thing...” - On the Purple Rain hysteria

“He had amazing bands that played rings around my abilities, but we were greater as a group than as individuals”

“Matt gave him the most extraordinary hands you can ever have on a synthesizer” - Wendy

“The stages of grief don’t count when you lose someone like Prince.” 

 That’s for people you know who die of natural causes.

“I cannot reconcile that that man is no longer on this planet anymore..we’re all trying to get some sense of who WE were when he was on the planet. That’s why we’re all here in this room today.” - Wendy

“When he died, he gave us each other” - Wendy

Funk Soldiers Panel Moderated by Andrea Swensson Kirk Johnson Chance Howard Renato Neto Sylvester Uzoma Onyejiaka II How did the Funk Soldiers shows go for you?

Kirk

“You’ve been through the Prince school. You think about how people would be affected. If it’s a Prince celebration it should be him singing his songs. Not a hologram. He told me to make sure they never did a hologram. You have to think about camera angles and how he’d want to be seen...I don’t want to take the credit for it Prince already did the work”

“He mentioned that the shows are the same because it’s like how a tour would be done...you do the same show.” - On why the show was the same as last year though there was more footage of Prince this year.

Chance

Last year he got sick and went to the hospital with gall bladder problems so he was excited to be there this year.

“To have him on that screen looking at us, it was surreal” (They had a screen down below that they could look at).

Renato

Came in a few days before, just a few rehearsals and was ready to go

He thanked Kirk for organizing everyone

Sly

He found it a little sad, memories, remembering what it was like to be on stage with this man

Kirk

Couldn’t use NPG because it’s licensed. Wanted a combo band including members of The Revolution, The Time, and different iterations of NPG, but not everyone was ready or didn’t understand what the band was.

What did you take away from working with Prince

Kirk

Prince advice always “play it how I want you to play” it’s that way for a reason.

Chance

Prince talks to you to educate you and he talks to you to bring things out of you. 

John Blackwell, Renato, Rhonda were jamming and Prince invited Chance in the early days. Chance tried to show off. P looked at him like “really”? During a break P walked Chance up the steps in the NPG music room to a room that was a barbershop at the time and they talk... P : Do you have any children? C : Yes  P : How would you feel if I slapped your sun upside the head? C : Before or after I put you in the hospital P : Laughs, Seriously. You’re slapping my children upside the head right now. These songs are my children... Renato Never seen anyone love music like Prince. He was 33/34 when he started and he respected how much time Prince put in to be the best

Sly

12 hours a day 6 days a week for rehearsals

Made him conscious of how he appeared in public. “I can’t wear sweatpants at the store?” No you’re in my band.

He took demanding more to heart.

Kirk

P told him he used to sleep with his guitar. Wake up playing and playing himself to sleep.

Renato

P allowed musicians to shine...one time P left the stage for 5-10 minutes while Renato was soloing. He was looking around like “when are you coming back” and P was offstage laughing at him

Kirk

5 fingers in the air means $500 fine.

“He wanted to get away from playing the hits...he wanted the audience to allow him to grow”

Emancipation Sessions (There’s a screen of Emancipation liner notes on the screen behind them with a kid version of Kirk)

P’d just fired everyone. 

They spent a year recording almost 100 songs

Little boy Kirk was photoshopped to be in front of a soundboard, he was originally sitting at a kitchen table

Kirk’s brother presided over Prince and Mayte’s wedding

He was also the best man.

Chance

Played on Call My Name and was just told a few minutes before the panel that the song won an Grammy.

Did you realize the whole world was hearing you play?

When performing with him you’re so in the moment of wanting to be great and not wanting to mess up. You don’t think about it everything you’ve done until way after the fact. - Kirk

Superbowl was 10 days of rehearsals - Renato

Sly  Clip of Big City

When they got there they got to work transcribing horn parts for the music, they then rehearsed as a group, and then with the band

Prince would re-arrange them by picking different bars from different songs and telling them to combine them.

The Revolution Concert

America

Computer Blue

Mountains

Erotic City

Let’s Work (With Stokley)

Let’s Go Crazy

When Doves Cry

Raspberry Beret

1999

Sometimes it Snows in April

Purple Rain (Omar Nelson came out and kissed Wendy like Prince does in the movie)

I Would Die 4 U

Baby I’m a Star