#really didn't feel like colouring anything today. i'm lazy

[mysticalcats]

moar foxglove.....

[v3nusxsky]

Hello!! Can I request a Leo x reader fluff fic where reader’s low blood pressure flares so she’s just nauseous and dizzy and also super tired but she is just really stressed and upset that she’s wasting time resting instead of working and Leo reassured her? Thank you!! Really going thru tough times w my bp today

Rest darling| h&c

*Authors note~I love this idea and I definitely struggle with it too so I'm gonna write from experience here, no hate on Lesso’s nickname for reader it’s cute*

Trigger warnings~ blood pressure issues nausea dizzy spells self doubt frustration

Prompt~ see ask^*^^

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You were frustrated that your body felt so nauseous that even getting out of bed was impossible, every time you stood up you felt extremely dizzy as your vision swirled into shapes and colours. Your body exhausted with the effort it took to stay upright. You knew that Leo, your wife, was incredibly eagle eyed when it came to your symptoms and immediately worked out that you were in a flare up so rest would be on todays list of activities.

You couldn't help but feel useless though, you can't even stand without the onslaught of symptoms and resting while Leo ran around after you wasn't something you found easy to accept. Leo loves you and would never want you to feel anything but happiness but to say you were a bad patient didn't quite cut it. She often caught you trying to force your body to do things it couldn't handle at the current time. The amount of times she'd had to pick you up off the floor due to your body giving out on you. "Dove" Leo would murmur with the raise of her eyebrow to show you how she disapproved.

"But Leo!" You whined, "I feel so lazy and useless I don't want to burden you love" the tears started to fall. Truly you felt awful but you didn't want her to feel forced to care for you. "I can do it I just need to-" you attempted to stand only to be rudely cut off by collapsing to the floor with a pained yelp. "Oh my little palm tree, you my darling girl are not doing anything other than going and laying pretty in our bed." And that is how you found yourself curled up with your wife's pillow and one of her long white t shirts for comfort.

Leonora handled everything you could possibly think of, she wanted you to be rested and would do anything to achieve that. She knew how you felt about flare ups and just how prideful and stubborn you could be but she also knew how much you appreciate her comfort and help during them, you always showed that but searching for things with her scent on, her clothing until you could cuddle up with your love and just try to block out the symptoms and soak in everything that was the dean of evil.

Lesso loved showing you this side of her, her love language being acts of service and physical touch made this one of the perfect opportunities to shower you in love and comfort while ensuring you were well and cared for. Her precious little Ever would never be alone ever again, she'd make sure of that. These spells never lasted too long and you always made sure to have her screaming "fuck my little palm tree like that!" As a reward for her caring actions.

Word count ~ 573

Tag list~ @farahtissaiamyloves @i-write-sometimes-maybe @blu3berrykiss3s @medeaswifey @pebbleswritessometimes

[whaleji]

girlblogging like kafka ; entry 4

unproductive day. did nothing except go out to eat in the evening and hate myself. my screen time is through the roof and i'd be lying if i said that didn't make me at least a tiny bit ashamed. had to withdraw some cash at 11 pm tonight, loved the feeling of walking by myself for barely five minutes and having a guy try to prey on me. i really dislike men. and by that i mean that i really dislike individuals that are socialized as men as the patriarchy recognizes it. i wish my body didn't prevail over my soul. but even with the patriarchy abolished it'd still be the case. differently, but my body would still act as a more recognized id card for my soul than my actual words and actions would to most people.

had some henna done, it looks amazing. it spirals and twirls around like snakes on my skin. i'm so tired. i wish i could just melt into the back of my brain and observe as my body goes through the motions of life while i'm watching it like it's a movie. i don't have the energy to do anything. except sometimes i do. life is so complicated. to be fair, i'm already watching life unfurl before my eyes as it is, except i have to take action and feel the consequences of my poor reasoning when i do tune out. my take is that i should either be completely dissociated from the world or not at all. how fair is it otherwise ?

i wish i could be the paper on the wall or the lamps on the ceiling or the frames on the ground or that spoon that was lost two years ago and that calmly sits behind a piece of furniture. i wish i could be unmoving and unthinking and i wish i could just be. i wish for a lot of things i'll never attain. got interviewed for a job today and didn't make it. I've been trying to find work for three months now, to no avail. my patience is thinning along with the time left before uni starts again. it makes me want to scream and rip my nails off and eat them and open up my belly with a knife to retrieve them and pierce the eyes of all the bosses of the world with them. why is it so hard to find work when i most need it ? i'd do anything, but even McDonald's won't have me. is it me ? is it me who's not good enough ? is it me who should try harder ? is it me ? is it me ?

i know i'm lazy and phlegmatic of temperament, most of it is due to a sort of butterfly effect that starts with dissociation turning into staying home most of the time to cope with having to deal with life to not being used to actually do other things than just lie in bed reading. that also goes for basically anything else that you can only learn through direct experience, like social interactions. i only know how to interact with people my age thanks to school, but i don't know how to interact with strangers outside of specific contexts thanks to all this time zoning out with my headphones, i don't know how to interact with family thanks to all those family reunions i skipped or spent reading on my phone. except now it's too late to learn. i'm too old to learn. too aged for my inadequacy to be looked upon with indulgent eyes. and yet i'm nothing but a child whose body kept growing and growing and growing while she remained a 9 year old girl that no one wants to play with at recess.

i'm tired of being mocked. i don't know how to make the difference between real and imagined mockery. it makes no sense to me that people would do this. it's so painful, how could it bring anyone any kind of pleasure being the bearer of such hurt and humiliation ? i feel like people mock me or dislike me because they somehow feel i'm not as most others are, that my colours are faded. like i'm from the twilight zone. i want to open the floor and slip into it and close it back up behind me. i want to live under the floorboards and stay here indefinitely. until i'm healed. until i feel ready to crawl back into society and to act as everyone wants me to : as someone that's aware of societal norms and customs, that has energy to spend into others and into work, that's actually there and not just trying their best to pretend they are.

[pennylanewrites]

※water-based markers※

saiko metori x gn! reader

idk what this is, I’ll just have you know I wrote it while hallucinating with a 40° fever

anyway, I was rewatching the second season, and I was on episode 18 where Takahashi and his friends wrote some shit on Saiko’s desk:/ kinda based on it, but not following the events at all, just that Takahashi wrote things on Saiko’s desk.

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word count: 960

genre: fluff(?)

cw: some light swearing i think, I’m too lazy to check

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Saiko Metori wasn't stupid in any way. He knew how many dirty looks he got, how much shit his classmates talked about him, but he also felt he deserved it. Even though Nendou and Aren hung out with him daily, he just couldn't believe that they wanted to be his friends. Especially since everyone else in his life blatantly used him for money.

   Well, everyone but you. Metori couldn't begin to describe how purely sweet and nice you were, despite him calling you a pleb the first time you met. He never said anything, but he knew you stood up for him every time he stormed out of class. He was grateful to you for it, even starting to have feelings, but he wouldn't admit it unless he was absolutely sure the feelings were mutual.

   You scrubbed and scrubbed until the sponge had almost dried off, but the surface was still smudged with black colour and somewhat readable threats and swears. You wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead, not even noticing the bell had rung and people were starting to walk in to get ready for gym class.

   The first person that spotted you and turned red, almost shaking with fear, was Takahashi, a classmate with afro green hair. You threw a wet rag at him, it landing on his cheek. Every conversation ceased and every set of eyes turned to the both of you.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! You're the one sitting over his desk!"

"I'm cleaning it because you and your friends did this." You pointed at the marked desk, and with three steps you were in front of Takahashi.

"Your hands are stained, idiot." You said and he looked down at his hands, realizing that his fingertips were indeed black.

"Please don't tell him anyth-"

"Don't tell him? Metori doesn't understand that people aren't after his money, and you don't exactly help him with that!" You pushed on his torso with your index finger until he hit his back on a wall.

"He's the one who offered us money!" One of Takahashi's friends exclaimed.

"And you didn't refuse."

"Oi, Nendou, wanna go for ramen today?" Metori's bored tone made you turn around with wide eyes. He went for Nendou's desk first instead of his own, talking with the tall boy.

"Why's everyone looking at me? I know I'm handsome and everything-"

"Because you suck, idiot!" Someone yelled from the back of the class and you could swear something broke inside him. No matter how he acted, or how he seemed careless, you saw the look in his eyes when everyone started laughing, and the bell rung again. Everyone scattered out, except for Metori, who was staring at his desk with a neutral face.

"I'm sorry, I tried to clean it and everything but–"

"Huh? I don't care, these plebes can call me names all they want!" He forced a grin, but his eyes couldn't meet yours, not even when you were only centimeters away from him, not even when your hand met his chin, holding it up so you were at eye level.

"I'm sorry."

"You're the last person that should be sorry, you know." He mumbled, green eyes finally meeting your own.

"I know."

"You should go to gym class."

"It's fine. I'd rather be with you."

"Don't feel bad about me, ___." He scoffed, stepping back. You fidgeted with a ring on your thumb, preparing yourself for what you were going to say.

"I don't feel bad. I just like you."

"What?"

"I like you."

"Listen, I'm already mad enough about this. Don't make fun of me."

"Why can't you trust me?" You whispered, heartbroken about his reaction to your feelings.

"I haven't had anyone like me or want to be friends with me." He leaned against a desk, half sitting on it and fixed his gray hair.

"Well," you started, "I like you!" You repeated.

"Do you want money?"

"If you dare give me money I'll shove it up your–"

"Okay, got it." He brought a hand up to stop you, smiling hesitantly before the raised hand extended for you to take. You placed your own palm over his so he could pull you closer, wrapping his arms around you. With a smile and a blush, your own hands met on the back of his head, fingers running over his undercut, playing with the chain around his neck, to finally stop at his back as you pulled him close and hugged him.

   His hair smelled of an exotic scent and his perfume faintly covered that coconut-coffee scent that filled your nostrils. The sun coming from between almost closed curtains hit your back, filling you with warmth and euphoria. His eyes portrayed the colour of a lake at sunrise so perfectly, and if you looked closely, you swore you spotted golden fairies dancing around in the deep waters behind his irises.

"___."

"Yeah?"

"I think I like you too."

"You do?"

"Well, you're not really my type, and you're poor, but..." You had a feeling he was joking, but you put on an offended face, pulling back from him. His eyes grew wide and a faint blush painted his nose. "W-wait! It was a joke!" You hid your face in your hands, shoulders shaking from laughing. A hand in your hair surprised you, and you looked up, heat rising to your face when you realized just how close your faces were.

"Hey...you weren't crying." He chuckled.

"So," you sneakily interlaced your hands with his own, thumbs rubbing them to calm him down, "wanna go eat sushi after school?"

"Sure." He nodded, forehead resting on your shoulder. "And thank you."

"Anything for you."

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[minahoeshi]

to be yours and you, mine.

Kuroo Tetsurō x reader | just pure angst. so much angst.

warning: major character death

prelude: the end lets its presence be known before it comes around. At times, that sense of awareness feels like a blessing. But with you and Tetsurou, the reminder of what soon will come can only hurt you even further. Because mankind has never been powerful enough to do anything against so many things. We have always been weak in the face of nature. especially against the passage of time and all the things it keeps taking from us.

It's almost odd how the world changed when you realised what the moments of silence has reduced your relationship into. How, when you finally acknowledged the fact that perhaps the end of a prolonged short story is nearer than you'd rather believe, a filter seemed to slip off of the camera, along with the vibrance you never realised was raised too high. It's not like the frames suddenly are less colourful. It's just that the tinges of blue in the shadows and highlights have made themselves more obvious, like a sign waiting for you to conclude things yourself.

Maybe it's because it's the new years and new beginnings just seem so scary. Or maybe it's the ice in the air, or the meteorologist on the television announcing that it's 7°C that morning that makes the lack of warmth between you and him more unbearable. But you wake up to the silence of the world, not even the birds are around to fuss above your house. To the empty space beside you, a reminder of his message three days ago.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

I'm staying with my family this new year. Okaa-san thinks I need to spend 'the end of the year and the beginning of a new one with those that made such days possible for me'. You know, her usual line to remind me of their importance. Miss you.

Let's video call on new year's eve, yeah?

received 9:26

He did call you last night. Not the video call he promised, but a voice call on Line. But you didn't answer. If he asked why, you would've told him you were with your friends in a shrine celebrating new years with prayers for a better future for one another, drinking sake, and walking the streets of Shibuya with your girls and gays and the one guy friend that everyone wonders how he ended up in the group.

It didn't hurt that he only called you once and never tried again. It didn't hurt that he didn't ask why. But fuck was it painful to hear the voicemail.

"Happy new year, Y/N san. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there with you, I promise. I love you. So much."

It's scary and painful how his voice seemed to waver. How it was shaky and devoid of his usual timbre, a ghost of what once was a joking and rarely serious tone that took light of most situations. His voice that you loved so much, absent because maybe he knew too.

Maybe he was aware that no saving can be done to bring forth the past as if it was the present. To rebuild the broken and to remind you both of what you had all these years. To you and him, the signs couldn't be more obvious. When the world crumbles, you don't save it. You kiss it goodbye and go on to search for a new one. One that won't break with you in it. (but you know you won't search. you never do.)

You spend the next hours awake. The consciousness, unwanted. You want so much to just fall down as if the darkness can just swallow you and you'd be happier in it. In silence, you might feel better.

But you can't help the way your brain works. You bask in the reminiscing, the present disappearing before you until it's the past that owns you.

It's not the memories that grabs hold of you but him in his entirety. You cry because you will miss all that he is. The lazy tone he uses when he feels comfortable beside you on the couch. The humour he finds in everything, even in chemistry which is crazy because nothing about chemistry is comical. The messy hair he refuses to tame because he loses his identity, a piece of him, his pride and legacy when his hair looks neat. You'll miss his hand on your back when you're walking outdoors, his iced coffee with a secret ingredient that is probably not really a secret, his hugs when you feel yourself falling in the deep hole of misery, his excitement when he speaks of volleyball, his pride when he talks about his achievements, his— all of him. You'll miss all of him. Too much.

Kuroo spends the car ride thinking of you. Reminding himself to remind you of all that you must remember. To hold your hand tight for as long as he can until he can't.

He reminds himself of the things he love so much about you. Of your unequaled patience and trust in him. Of your ability to strip him of all his bad so that he can only see his good. Of your laughter when he speaks of his day as comically as possible. Of the mornings he wakes up beside you. Of your— everything. All that you are.

Because as the car nears your house, he feels himself crumble. Because he just knows what is about to come. So he must keep in him all your good and bad to be grounded. To stay long enough.

Kuroo stays in the car and stared at the door. The door that opens slowly and reveals you in your scarf and windbreaker. Beautiful. You in all your tear-stained glory, your nose and ears red. He stares as you step into the snow and approach him. He stares as you knock on the window.

And so he opens the door.

You break again the moment you see him. You wish to be strong for him. He doesn't deserve your sadness and weakness but he told you to let yourself be. That your tears are better seen than hidden. Because it helps him and you know how you are feeling. So that he doesn't have to walk around eggshells because you both expose all your vulnerability to one another.

So you fall on his knees. You dont wait for him to get out. You cry on his lap and you know he cried with you. You fall apart together. The same way you built each other to be whoever you two are today, you both break each other.

You say, Testu. Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu. He says it's fine, he's fine. He leans and kisses your head and you cry more the same way he does as he hugs you from above. I'm sorry, you say. I should've answered your call, you say.

But I was scared. I was too scared.

And you both know. You fear the same thing. Because as Kuroo is placed on his wheelchair with your help and Kenma's who has been with you two since the very beginning. He leaves both of you because he knows that's what's best. He gives Kuroo a hug before he drives away.

He's bone-thin. Dark bags under his eyes, cheekbones too visible, lips too pale— tired. He looked more tired than three days ago, before he suddenly disappeared that day and you felt too much pain because was he gonna leave you that way? Was he not gonna be with you until the very last of everything?

You were thankful he texted you that night. Because you would've gone crazy with all your thoughts. You understood why he had to go home. His family needed him and he needed them. You couldn't be selfish.

That night, you spend hours on your bed with Kuroo. He didn't need the morphine, he tells you. He's okay. But his breathing is ragged and he's sweating. He can't move without hurting. But you don't give him painkillers because he told you so. So instead, you kiss him. You kiss him and tell him you love him. You tell him you were happiest with him. He doesn't talk much. But the last he said before you both slept was, "I love you too. More than anything and everything. I love you."

The next morning, you cry harder. This time, all by yourself. Tetsutetsutetsutetsutetsutetsu. He never responds.

You cry harder.

But at the very least, he was still holding your hand.

-

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Science is yet to prove the existence of reincarnation so instead of pinning everything on it, I'd rather appreciate this one life I spent loving you. Because there's no other way for me to have lived than to be yours and you mine. This one life is enough for the universe to understand that we are eternity, you and me. Forever.

I love you. I know you love me too.

2:09 am

You

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

5:27 am

-

Okaa-san - mother

Tetsu - nickname for Kuroo from his first name, Tetsuro. In Japan, cute nicknames are more common than endearments like honey or love.

Shibuya - a city or special ward in the prefecture, Tokyo.

Sake - Japanese alcohol made of rice and other ingredients.

Line - most used messaging app in Japan.

Thanks for reading!

[myfalsedevotion]

Tag Games

Okay, so I haven't really been responding to any tag games since two months ago and I know I'm the worst but I'm going to do them all now in a row in here, and if you guys have tagged me, know that I saw it and appreciated it I just didn't have the mental capacity at the time and now I find myself with way too many tag games I didn't even respond to and feeling extremely guilty... I'm sorry :S

Everything below the keep reading so I don't clog anyone's dash!

First one, tumblr informs me it's from 64 days ago (I'm really really sorry), thank you @mychemicalobsession514 so much for the tag!

Mine would be AU with an attempt at humour hahhahaha I think it fits 😅

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Thank you for the tag @ireallydontknowhowtolife, so sorry for the delay :S

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without // fruits or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields// sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweater // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops// glass or stone // dark or light // photos or painting // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats// poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

***

Thanks for this tag, @ncstas!

three ships: DavidxPatrick from Schitt's Creek, FitzSimmons, SamBucky (no one said canon, right? hahahha)

last song: American Pie by Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

currently watching: I am kind of in a moment in between fixations 🤔 but I am watching Loki as it airs.

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

currently craving: motivation to write :C

and for this one!

fav color(s): forest green!

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

last song: American Pie - Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

last series: Loki?

sweet, sour or savoury: currently, savoury. Ask me in an hour, it'll have changed hahhaah

currently craving: just a crumb of motivation, I'm not asking for much

coffee or tea: BOTH, it depends on the occasion. During summer I need to chug coffee first because I usuallly wake up with a BP of 85/50 or something, and I need to up that shit quickly hahah

currently working on: Ch12&13 of Rare and I am more than noticing how rusty I am... it's been too long

***

I was tagged by the amazing @glitterandsummerdaze on this tag game, I'm so sorry for the delay!

open your spotify “on repeat” and the first five songs are the soundtrack to your personal rom-com

Renegade (feat. Taylor Swift) - Big Red Machine, Taylor Swift

Starting Line - Luke Hemmings

That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham

gold rush - Taylor Swift

You Stupid Bitch - girl in red

That is... I can see that as a romcom soundtrack 😂

***

Okay next up, Maya @calumsash , I am so so sorry I haven't even acknowledge your tags... I have like 3 of yours piled up, I'm so sorry :S

How similar is my taste in music to yours:

For this tag, (reblog with the meaning/origin of my url and my favorite color) my url is pretty easy to explain hahahha I stole it from an All Time Low song 🤭 "i'm sick and tired of false devotion" and well, idk, I just liked it hahahahah I was setting up a new tumblr just for fics and here we are (I even fell back down the spn rabbit hole when I was only ever meant to post about bands XDDD). For the longest time I couldn't decide between blue and purple for my favourite colour and then I chose neither: it's green. Forest green hahahahah

For today's tag (I can't believe I'm actually answering to a tag game on the day I've been tagged O.o), which is this one, here are my answers:

1. Favourite song at the moment

I don't know if I'd call it favourite but, I haven't been able to stop singing American Pie since thursday night thanks to Black Widow 😅😅 It doesn't help that I've known all the lyrics to it since I was little thanks to my dad because I'm basically singing over and over a song that's 8 and a half minutes long hahahahah

2. A song you associate with your favourite ship

Is it too self-serving and lazy of me if I copy your answer and say Paper Rings Maya?😅 hahahaha No, for real, that song (even though parts of it don't align with cashton on athob) is forever tied to them for me 💙

3. A song that could be about you

This is me trying there are just more than a couple of lines that hit too close to home

4. A song you think is underrated

Outside of ATL or 5sos or Taylor I never go much into music fandoms so... I don't know how to answer. Any song I could say is underrated could very well be a fan favorite and I just don't know... 😅

5. A song that reminds you of a good memory

Sonrisa Especial by El Sueño de Morfeo reminds me of a period of my childhood were I wasn't sad all the time (which was rare in my childhood tbh), it's an obnoxiously happy and uplifting song that I can't relate to most days but when I do, it's quite special hahahha

6. The last song you listened to

... American Pie 😅😅😅

7. A song that makes you laugh

I Hate by Passenger, it never fails to make me laugh hahahah

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to

ufff, anything by Kina Grannis I can't pick just one song, I can't

Thank you so so much for the tags Maya 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙

[jiangwanyin]

Okay, another ask because I cannot help myself. Top 10 costumes in xianxia or wuxia? (You can do ten for both men and women if you want)

hiii!!! ahh no complaints from me, i love love love this question, sorry this took me so long to actually reply to and apologies this is going to be a bit of a lousy answer, i was too lazy to go and take screenshots from movies/shows i don't have downloaded also i just finished watching nirvana in fire recently and i'm obsessed with the costume design so this is going to be VERY nif heavy, i hope you don't mind too much!!!

this isn't a definitive ranking but i did my best with the ones i chose um mostly off the top of my head also i spent wayy too long putting together these photos to illustrate my point but here we go

1. okayy so i feel like this one was sort of predictable since i did make a gifset not long ago showcasing some of his outfits heavily focusing on this one but i can't help myself i love it so much and he looks amazing in it!!!!

2. one of many from the house of the flying daggers god that movie is SO beautiful and i love the deep blues and purples and the embroidery here so much (also takeshi kaneshiro my beloved!)

3. yet another from nirvana in fire with absolutely exquisite embroidery wahh

4. exhibit b on today's everything about house of the flying daggers is incredibly beautiful agenda

5. i have nothing to say here, i just really like the colour blue okay? also i owe the nirvana in fire costume design department my life 🙏

6. aand now for something completely different, yet another costume from house of the flying daggers, who would have guessed?

7. i actually had a couple of costumes from word of honor i wanted to include especially since i've been rewatching it these past weeks so it's actively on my mind but i ended up choosing just the one because the colours and the detailing here are absolutely everything

8. okay this is actually not my favourite piece of armour design *ever* but like i said, nirvana in fire brainrot and jingyan does look very good in it

9. ...aaand finally one more from nif just for good measure, banruo actually had loads of amazing outfits and it was a toss up between this and her blue winter robes but the red was so [!!!!!]

10. alright i'd just feel bad about it if i didn't include anything from the untamed so here have my favourite jiang cheng outfit which isn't even the best costume in the show but i personally love it very much so it deserves a place on the list!!!!

ask me my top 5 top 10 anything! no more please :)