#really curious. always thought it's obviously light blue

[pepperyduck]

pins & needles

summary: how various jjk men react to ur new/unnoticed piercings! incl. nanami, gojo, geto, choso

warnings: veryyyyyyy suggestive (esp in nanami's), (new) piercings, geto's & nanami's is a new relationship type thing. excuse any typos pls😞. 18+ mdni!

a/n: i got like 3 new piercings over the weekend, this is just self indulgent and cute methinks. also tyyy for 700 :3, i'm trying so hard to get over the writer's block. love u all!

choso + smiley piercing!

"i've never been happier to see you," choso groans as soon as he enters your dorm, kicking off his shoes at the door. though his voice is monotone, you can infer he's tired, worn out from a day's work and fighting curses.

"rough day?" you scoot over in bed to allow room for your boyfriend, smoothing out the sheets and flipping your blanket up.

"very." the singular word is the only response choso gives before beginning to strip his uniform right in front of you. as you're watching intently, choso gets almost completely naked before grabbing some clothes he'd left over; a pair of baggy pants and an "i heart my girlfriend" shirt that you gifted him, and lazily putting them on.

"i did something today, cho," you inform him, and choso’s attention immediately snaps to you, eyes showing that he was obviously wondering.

"what’d you do?"

you give him a bright smile, all the teeth in your mouth shown to him, the shiny ring glistening atop your pretty gums. choso’s brows furrow together, his pupils coming to realize there was something new in your mouth, something different about your smile.

"what’s…that?" he asks, stepping closer and closer and eventually sitting on the bed with you. you giggle at his curious looking, his eyebrows still knitted together in an inquisitive way.

"a piercing, silly," you inform him, carefully flipping up your top lip to show where the jewelry went through the frenulum of your inner lip.

"does it hurt?" choso leans in even more, straightening his eyes with the freshly pierced hole in your mouth.

"not really, just a little bit," you tell him, letting go of your lip and pressing a quick peck to choso’s lips. it catches him off-guard, choso’s face lights up red because he thought he couldn’t kiss you. smiling triumphantly, you pull away from your boyfriend.

"it—um—it looks really pretty on you." choso compliments, "can i kiss you again? please?" and he’s so sincere and sweet, always asking permission for everything. so endearing, really, even with his deep, dark voice.

needless to say, when he kisses you again, choso is making sure to flick the jewelry all around with his tongue, faintly enough to not hurt the new wound. and it becomes a habit from thereon.

gojo + bellybutton piercing!

"i missed you so much, baby."

satoru is on top of you, arms caging you in while you lay underneath him, smiling and feebly grasping the biggest part of his bicep. it had been over a month since you'd seen your husband, he'd been away on a business trip for far too long.

"did you miss me?" his words are drawn out and dramatic, like always, like he was teasing you—but he was practically always teasing you.

"yes, satoru," you blankly reply, "i missed you."

just before you can roll your eyes, gojo's kissing you, a bit enthusiastically, but you quickly melt into his touch. as annoying as he could be, you loved him, you missed him. you had longed for him the moment he left—that was a fact you couldn’t deny.

as quickly as he meets your lips, satoru leaves, disconnecting himself to trail down your torso that was draped in a way-too-expensive t-shirt of his. but the one thing that doesn't leave you is his eyes, he keeps an intense stare on your face as he moves lower and lower towards your waistline. his fingertips dance along your sides before pinching the fabric of the bottom of the shirt and slowly lifting it up.

his eyes are no longer able to stay on yours when he catches a glimpse of the sparkly blue rhinestones on each ball of the jewelry stuck through your navel. of course, you chose the shade that best matched satoru's eye color.

"no way!" satoru exclaims, beaming with a new-found excitement for the little hole in your tummy, "you actually did it?"

"yes, satoru," you repeat, threading your fingers through the white tufts of your husband's hair.

gojo's nimble fingers come to play with the jewelry—the size comparison comedic from how large his hands are. he studies the now fully healed wound, moving the jewelry all around and practically forgetting the previous heated mood.

"do you like it?" you somewhat nervously ask, intimidated by the tedious investigation of your bellybutton.

"yes, duh," satoru dramatically quips, "you think i should get one next?"

nanami + nipple piercing!

kento had tried so hard to ignore it.

you didn't mean to distract him, really. it was a simple mishap at first, not wearing a bra when kento came over. but after the first time, he didn't seem to mind, he was gentlemanly enough. his eyes stayed averted—when you were looking at him, at least—so you took it as a green flag to remain braless when he was at your house without worry.

but nanami's only a man.

so here you are, after work, after your boyfriend had come over, ranting to him in your kitchen about your boss and whatever bullshit you had to put up with that day. but your words land upon deaf ears, noise drowned out by the sight of the little hearts poking out from the shirt you're wearing. he's sat at your dining table, legs lazily spread as he half-listens to you.

"—like, what?! what else am i supposed to do in that situation?"

for the first time in your venting session, you lock eyes with kento, noticing how they flash up quickly from...your chest.

"ken?"

"um—yes?" he chokes, a little too obviously for him to not be embarrassed over.

a smug smile rests over your face, nanami was caught red handed, ogling at your boobs and the cute heart-shaped jewelry that adorned them.

"what'cha staring at?" trailing closer to him with a teasing tone in your voice, you're killing him, embarrassing the poor man as the seconds roll on. kento doesn't reply either, only a raspy breath leaving his lungs as his response. his face heats up and his expression drops, shamelessly glancing down at your chest once more—one, two—counting the peaks of your nipples through the shirt.

"i'm sorry," he finally chokes out, unable to keep his eyes from flashing up and down, to your eyes then to your chest, again and again.

without any words, you slot yourself between nanami's legs, inching your chest closer to his face. it was so funny how easily his stoic persona disintegrated under your presence. he'd never been this close to your chest—to you. and it's intoxicating to him, he's ashamed how he loses himself by simply being eye level with your boobs.

but that guilt quickly washes away when you take his hand and place it perfectly to cup your tit—index finger and thumb resting right around the pretty jewelry under your shirt.

tdlr; that's the first night your boyfriend stays over at your place.

geto + clavicle piercing!

"you look lovely tonight."

smooth as ever, geto compliments you, his voice dripping with a sweet nectar. your insides warm up despite the harsh cold outside, the thick coat draped over your frame doing little to combat the weather.

"thank you," you whisper and smile at him, stepping into the door of the fancy restaurant suguru had chosen for your date. third date, to be exact.

once you're at your table, suguru helps you shimmy the bulky jacket off your shoulders, revealing the tasteful, deep-cut top you had chosen for your date—along with the two studs on each side of your collarbone that your clothing showed off rather perfectly.

it takes suguru a few moments to notice once he sits down. he tries to strike up conversation, relying on the simple questions and responses he can utter without getting too distracted. however, within a few minutes, geto is cracking, eyes every so often flickering down to the gems that aligned your clavicle so prettily. he can't help it, because with every slight movement you make, the jewelry sparkles in the dim light of the restaurant—it's hard to ignore.

"are you okay?" you interrupt your previous dialogue when you take note of geto's increasingly hazy replies, and how he seems a bit spaced out.

"yeah," suguru swallows deeply, "i really like your—um," his pointer finger vaguely motions to his own collarbone, and you have to look down at your chest before you realize what he’s talking about.

his mouth is dry. he’d already thought you were, like, the sexiest woman on earth, but this, oh this, was just too much. geto was unsure as to why he found the piercings so distracting, so hot, but nonetheless enjoyed the view he had.

"oh, thank you!" you giggle, smiling brightly and ghosting your fingers over the piercings—you’d honestly forgotten that this would be the first time he’s seen this much of your body, and the piercings ended up being the perfect touch to make suguru lose his mind.

and he can't wait until he's able to feel on 'em, too.

[darlenicy]

[iluvmattsbeard]

what have you done to me? (c.s)

master list

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: swearing

preview: you and Chris have been friends for a long time. everyone has teased how good of a couple you'd be. but Chris has always shot down the rumors. you never looked at him that way. but Chris on the other hand? he's been acting off.

a/n: I love mamma mia and obviously I love chris, so I have decided to write this inspired by one of the scenes from the movie. but with my twist of course. hope you enjoy!

you wake up with the light hitting your face from it peeking through the curtains. you rubbed your eyes as you grabbed your phone. to see a text from Nick.

nick

y/n wake up! you have to help us prepare for today!

you lay your head back smiling as you reply. today the triplets have planned a trip to the beach. inviting a bunch of people from school. it wasn't really your thing but Nick, Matt, and mostly Chris convinced you on going.

y/n

i'm sorry for waking up so late. I was up all night tossing and turning. i'll be there as soon as I finish getting ready!

you get out of bed as you walked over to your bathroom. you do your morning routine. brushing your teeth, washing your face, and you ended up shaving your legs. you don't remember the last time you've been to the beach. to be completely honest, you didn't even know how to swim.

you go to your closet as you scrummage through your drawers trying to find a swim suit. after a minute of searching, you find a flattering blue two piece where the top is strapless. you put it on as you stare at yourself in the mirror. it complimented your body very well. you smile a bit before putting on ripped shorts and a crocheted cover up top. you packed your tote bag with extra clothes. just in case you actually go in the water.

you pick up your phone wondering why Chris hasn't texted. he usually is the one texting and blowing up your phone. but he didn't today. "that's odd." you whisper to yourself.

Chris' POV

today I woke up with a thought in my head. which i've been having these past days. me and y/n have been friends for years. she practically looked at me and my brothers as her own siblings. but I couldn't push the thought out of my head. I could hear my heart pounding when I thought about it.

i put a pillow over my face as I laid there and sighed. Chris you're being delusional i said in my head. I took the pillow off my face and reached for my phone. I clicked on her contact, going to text her, but, I stop myself. I shake my head as I put my phone back down. I need to stop with the thoughts. she's my best friend. nothing more. despite what everybody says.

"Christopher! have you texted y/n? it's already 10 a.m!" nick yells out at me. "no I have not." I said stepping out my room. he looks at me while shaking his head, "why not? she has to help us out." he says grabbing his phone, "I have to do everything myself like always!" he continues on. Matt lets out a laugh as I roll my eyes walking to the bathroom.

End of Chris' POV

you grab your keys as you head out the door. you get into your car and buckle up pulling out your phone to connect your music. the triplets lived 10 minutes away so you texted the group chat saying you were on your way. you drive as you hum to the music playing.

Chris' POV

"she's on the way!" nick yells out practically jumping. "at least I'd finally get some help." he continues as Matt and I roll our eyes.

as time passes by, we hear the door bell ring. shit. it's her. Nick runs to the door and opens it with a big smile. "finally!" he screeches out. they both hug as I lock eyes with her. they pull away from each other and she walks up to me hugging me. "why haven't I heard from you?" she says curious. "I didn't have time to text. I was busy getting ready." I lie with a small smile. "Chris your hair is still a mess and you're in your pajamas. i'm pretty sure you're not ready." she says laughing.

i roll my eyes before replying, "whatever. you don't need to know everything." she smiles going to hug Matt. "so... what is the plan for right now?" she says grabbing a water from the fridge. "well we have to head to the store and buy a few things. I told everyone to bring whatever they want." Nick says. "then what are we doing standing around?" she says with a smile, "lets go!" she shouts happily. "wait! I'm not ready." I say. "then go Christopher!" Nick shouts at me. Matt and y/n laugh at Nick's words. I ran to my room and got ready.

End of Chris' POV

as you guys waited for Chris to finish up, you sat on their counter thinking. why did he lie? a very obvious lie. he's acting so strange. he couldn't even keep eye contact with you. you shrugged it off. it bothered you because he was your best friend and you wanted him to tell you everything. Chris finally finishes getting ready and you guys put your shoes on heading out the door.

you all take the mini van with Matt driving, Nick in the passenger seat, and you in the backseat with Chris. you all buckle up as you hear Nick speak, "here we go!" you giggle at his enthusiasm. as Matt starts driving, you glance at Chris trying to read his face. he was too busy on his phone. he looked normal even though his actions said other wise.

you guys finally arrived at the store. you guys get out of the car, walking inside. you see Nick gasp right away. "fruit platter!" he exclaims. showing you guys, holding it like a prize. you laugh as Chris joins. "nobody wants a fruit platter Nick. come on, head towards the chips aisle." Matt says, walking past Nick grabbing him by the shirt lightly. Nick pouts jokingly. you hold in a laugh. you all follow along. you guys grabbed a few bags of chips and grabbed some candy, along with some cans of soda. Pepsi, Dr pepper, and Sprite.

Nick ended up paying for everything. “thank you for helping me carry these bags y/n. since these two couldn’t do it” Nick says in a sarcastic tone. “didn’t seem like you needed help.” Chris says as you giggle at the response. “yeah no problem Nick.” you say with a smile, putting the bags in the back seat, in between you and Chris. after the store, you guys finally start heading to the beach. it was already close to 1 p.m.

y/n's POV

the car ride wasn't mostly quiet. the only thing quiet was between me and Chris. usually, he's the one talking the most, being the loudest. but he was so glued to his screen not even looking at me. it's starting to worry me. I decided to tap him, but by the time he looks at me, the car stops and Matt says, "we're here!" I turned to look out the window, "oh wow. looks like we're late to our own party." I say looking at the group of people messing around. there was people dancing to music, people in the ocean, and a group of people just sitting around talking. i went to turn back to Chris but he already was in the middle of getting out the car. i sighed as i got out myself. Matt and Chris carried all the bags because they were told to by Nick since they didn’t help at the store. we all walk up to a free spot. i unfold the blanket from my tote bag and lay it out. Matt and Chris lay down the bags on top of it. “i’m going to go greet people!” Nick says with a big smile as he walks off with Matt. Chris looks at me, “you okay staying here?” he says. i nod with him nodding back walking away to a group. I stand there looking around as I see one of my friends come up to me. Grayson. he was tall and muscular. i'm not going to lie, I find him quite attractive but, it wasn't anything more. "hello y/n" he says flashing a smile at me. “hello grayson” i reply with a smile. we decided to talk while he passes me a drink. “what is this?” i ask swirling the cup looking into it. “beer” he responds. but before he answers i was in the middle of taking a sip. i swallowed making a bitter face. he takes the cup away from me, “okay not your thing i see.” he says letting out a chuckle.

we both laugh together as he asks me if i want to walk around. i nod and we stand side by side just chatting. “i never see you at these type of things.” he says. “well because it’s not my type of scene. i’m only here because of the triplets.” i respond with a smile. he smiles nodding, “oh yeah. you guys are pretty close.” “yup” i say.

Chris' POV

as I was talking to a group buddies from my lacrosse team, I couldn't help but catch something with my eyes. there she was. y/n talking to Grayson. usually it didn't bother me but with the thoughts i've been having? I couldn't help but feel something. I wasn't the jealous type or the possessive type. so this was new.

i continue to take glances at them talking. glances until in a second my eyes stayed on them longer as I see y/n take off her cover up and her shorts. I tense up poking my tongue to the inside of the side of my mouth. I couldn't even look at her because I was too busy looking at Grayson look at her up and down. it infuriated me. something inside of me almost walked over there but my thoughts were interrupted by one of my team mates, "you staring won't stop them from talking Chris." he says. I roll my eyes as I just continue to sip my drink as the rest of the team laughs.

Y/n's POV

"let's get in the ocean?" Grayson says while holding his hand out. I looked at his hand and then at the ocean. “uh i don’t know. i wasn’t really planning on it.” i say trying to make an excuse. I don't know how to swim. but I didn’t want to blurt that out there. I looked at Grayson and he responds, “come on. it’s better than standing around. plus you have a bathing suit on. clearly you were going to go in.” I grabbed his hand, “okay fine but only my feet.” i say with a smile. he smiles back as he drags me closer to the water.

Chris's POV

i put my drink down as I see y/n and Grayson walk towards the water. holding hands. was she trying to drive me insane? she probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing. i mean i have been trying to avoid her today. which was stupid of me because maybe if i just talked to her she would be holding my hand. not his. it was getting harder to keep my composure. why am i being like this?

End of Chris' POV

as you and Grayson make it to the water, you let out a small yelp when your feet submerges. it was freezing. Grayson lets out a small laugh when he sees your face. as you both stand there you spoke up, "it's really cold" you let out a nervous laugh. “there’s only one way to get rid of the cold.” he says. “which is what?” you respond curiously. “by getting all the way in with no thought!” he says. next thing you know, Grayson carries you by the waist and runs with you more towards the water. you let out a playful scream. which catches Chris' attention. you hit Grayson's arms softly asking him to let you down laughing. Chris had enough. Chris walks towards the both of you and shouts, "put her down!" you and Grayson whip your head around towards Chris standing there clearly bothered. "Chris?" you say as Grayson puts you down, "what's your problem?" you continue.

"does he know you can't swim?" he says. “well no he doesn’t.” you respond with a nervous laugh. “well i don’t want to be the one having to save you so…” holding his hand out, "come on." he says seriously. Grayson steps forward a bit, "dude she's just trying to have fun." he says but Chris ignores him waiting for you to grab his hand, "lets go y/n." Chris says. but before you say anything, Chris just grabs your arm pulling you away from the muscular boy walking the both of you away from everyone.

"Chris!" you yelp as you try to get out from his grip. "let go of me!" he listens and lets you go. he's avoiding eye contact. "what is your problem?!" you say in a frustrated tone. "you barely talk to me all morning and now you want to get in between me having fun?"

"fun?" he says with a scoff, "wouldn't have been fun if I were to run into the ocean saving you if his dumb ass continued to push you more in the deep end." you scoff, "that would've been my choice! i wouldn’t need your help." you say.

Chris' POV

she can't be serious. she's mad at me for just trying to be a good friend? even though my reason for dragging her away from the situation was just because it was making me angry staring at them. because it should’ve been me and her laughing and having fun.

"answer me Chris" she says, snapping me back into the moment. "look, the truth is I couldn't stand it. I couldn't take it anymore." I stepped closer to her, "I don't know what's happening.. but you did something to me. I don't fall easily and you know this. when you're not near, I get this sudden urge of yearn. when I saw you with him? I couldn't keep watching you waste your emotions on some stupid idiot who clearly doesn't know you. this is all new to me and i’m confused. confused why all of the sudden i feel like this. but it’s you! you are making me like this. so me seeing you with him? was enough for me.” I practically shout. my heart was beating fast. anticipating for her response. she looks away and lets out a small sigh but I decided to hold her cheek making her look into my eyes. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i was just trying to figure this all out.” i say.

"Chris..." she whispers putting her hand on my cheek as well. before she had the chance to say anything else, I pulled her in and kissed her softly but passionately. she wraps her arms around my neck kissing back. I pull away as I rub her cheek softly, “so what are you trying to say exactly Chris?” she says with a smile. all i could do was let out a nervous laugh and respond, “what i’m trying to say is… you’re my best friend and i love you. i love you more than just a best friend.” and next thing you know she jumps on me wrapping her legs and arms around me hugging me. she giggles, "i love you too Chris." she exclaims happily. I smile pulling her back in for another kiss. this is the happiest i've been. all the worries and fears left my body as soon as she laid all her love on me.

our kiss was interrupted by a familiar voice, "finally!" we pull away to see Nick shout. me and y/n looked at each other laughing as I kiss her again. feelings butterflies in my stomach. oh what have you done to me y/n?

a/n: if you get to the end where you can read this, thank you for taking the time to read! likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! leave a follow if you like my content! I will continue to upload more imagines and post random shit about the triplets. I can't wait to write more like this. make sure to check my master list. I will try to upload as much as I can!

[kitchenisking]

October Fic Rec

The Wolf by rororowyourboat - (Rating: G, Words: 3,901, sterek)

Stiles and Derek haven't seen each other in years, but after talking on the phone nonstop for months now, Derek is finally moving back to Beacon Hills. The day he's supposed to arrive, he stops responding to Stiles' texts, and then a blue-eyed wolf shows up on his porch steps. Obviously something has happened to Derek, and Stiles needs to help him out... right?

His Accidental Touch by Hidden_Orchard - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 12,859, sterek)

It happened accidentally, the first time. All the many and varied times afterwards, Stiles would hold his hands up and admit full responsibility for. But that first time – pure chance.

Derek needs a cuddle. Stiles - generous man that he is - would never deny Derek something he needs.

you're pulling on my soul by maevedarcy  - (Rating: T, Words: 3,981, sterek)

Derek reached behind him and gave him a bottle of Mountain Dew. Stiles froze, at loss of words for the first time in a long time. Did Derek bring him Mountain Dew? How did he know he’d be here in the first place? And how did he know to get him the blue raspberry flavor?

“You always drink that when you’re at the loft,” he explained, as if it was obvious.

[Or, 3 times Stiles missed the signs and one time he didn't]

Kiss It Better by Hedwig221b - (Rating: T, Words: 1,640, sterek)

Eli was healthy, bubbly and happy most of the time, a perfect overly energetic and curious child, but sometimes he just gave Stiles this studying, almost suspicious long stare and pursed his little button nose, as if thinking very hard about something.

Today was one of those days.

A Little Push in the Right Direction by crossroadswrite  - (Rating: G, Words: 3,708, sterek)

“Can I see your wolf face?”

Derek flushes all over, ducks his head and kicks the carpet awkwardly. “I, uh, can’t really shift into my beta shift.”

Stiles squints at him and for a split second the color of his eyes turns liquid, like there’s whiskey sloshing around in the irises. It’s subtle enough that it could pass for a trick of the light but Derek knows better; growing up peeking at an array of supernatural creatures from behind his mom’s legs taught him enough to take a step back.

“Maybe you need a push.”

Fix my car and fix my tubes by TalesoftheEnchantedForest - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,297, sterek)

Derek fixes Stiles's car and Stiles is just really turned on by his skilled husband.

Thunder by TriskHellion - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 12,066, sterek)

The one in rural Montana where two strangers — a depressed, lonely Alpha Derek and a haunted post-Nogitsune Werefox/Thunder Kitsune Stiles — leave everything behind and end up finding each other.

-----

Both of them seemed to realize they’d been staring at the same time, Derek saying “Uh, howdy” and the stock boy straightening up and asking if he needed help finding anything.

“Looking for a screw,” he said, after tearing his eyes away and scanning the aisle again. He was already groaning internally when the words were halfway out of his mouth and the new guy — Sean his name tag proclaimed at another glance — snorted before asking what kind while trying to keep a straight face.

My Sanctuary (is in your arms) by Karla_Kattz - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 23,670, sterek)

Stiles jumps out of his car and makes his way to the rear. Without giving it too much thought, he rips the trunk open. The wolf lifts its head and lets out a low whine. The wolf?! What the fuck! There’s a wolf in his car. Lying on Derek’s maroon jumper, that he was looking for two months ago - turns out, it has been in Stiles’ Jeep all the time, oops. Stiles throws the lid shut again and leans against it, heavily. He’s got no clue how the animal got in there, but it must have happened when Stiles put his bag in the car and then went back inside his dad’s house to get that damn energy drink. And now he picked up a canine hitchhiker. Fucking amazing. Honestly, why is this Stiles’ life? Why keeps stuff like that happening to him?

——— Stiles co-owns a wolf sanctuary, loves his job and his amazing boyfriend Derek even more. His life couldn‘t be more perfect. Except, you know, if it wasn‘t for his boyfriend‘s secret, his feral sister and the bunch of crazy hunters who are after them. Apart from that… yep. Awesome.

inevitable by EvanesDust - (Rating: G, Words: 2,294, sterek)

in·ev·i·ta·ble /inˈevidəb(ə)l/ adjective certain to happen; unavoidable.

…the one where Eli asked about how Derek and Stiles met and eventually fell in love.

Dress You Up by sffan - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 5,057, sterek)

Stiles is spending a lot of time with the queens at The Jungle. He goes out with them on Halloween and bumps into Derek. Sex happens.

[rinwritesfics]

Rather Be Hurt Than Be Okay

Plot: Echo gives you an item and you blurt out your feelings for him.

Warnings: some swearing

Word Count: 1063

Author’s Note: This is for @manofworm, for @cloneficgiftexchange’s April 2024 Bad Batch exchange! Thank you for hosting, @ghostofskywalker! I had fun exploring what this prompt could be, and I really hope you like it!

Prompt: “I’d rather be hurt and be with you than be okay without you” || “This isn’t just a(n) [object], it’s a promise”: GN!Reader

Having travelled with the boys for a while, you were pretty familiar with each one’s particular mannerisms. Hunter got quiet when in thought, whereas Tech continued to talk out a problem most of the time. Wrecker was a gentle man who would do everything he could until he decided to step in and protect his family with his strength. Omega was curious, intuitive, and determined, always searching for ways to help. From what you remember about Crosshair, he was silent and observant like a cat until he pounced.

And then, there was Echo.

Echo… you could talk about him for hours. His determination to find justice. His desire to do the right thing. How he wanted to pay forward the kindness shown to him.

You had seen him trying to hide his phantom pains and his nightmares, and it took him a long time to warm up to letting you help. The strength inside him also doubled as his stubbornness, but you were determined. And he had finally let you in.

That was where the problem began.

You fell for him – hard.

His tendency to be vulnerable with you, to be near you and gently nudge you in the direction you needed if you got stuck, or to balance you out when something was bothering you.

But you weren’t going to tell him that. You felt he didn’t need that added stress, so you began to pull back a bit. And he either didn’t notice, or he let you do your thing. You weren’t certain which one was better in this case.

Now, something else going on. It bothered you.

The Marauder had just landed on Ord Mantell and were accepting a new mission.

But, you had noticed that despite your little bit of space between you and Echo, Echo had been acting a bit… off all day. It wasn’t like he was avoiding you, he was just not spending as much time talking or working around you as he usually did, withholding a bit of himself. It was very unusual. So obviously, something was on his mind.

You vowed to find out what it was.

After the briefing, you planned to talk to him, but he found you first and pulled you aside to a back corner of Cid’s bar. You felt both a thrill at being alone with him in the darker area, and nervousness at what he was up to. You both sat down, and you silently admire his facial features in the dim blue light from the bar.

“Echo, what’s going on?” you asked softly, glancing around to see if anyone else was watching you. No one was.

“I have something for you,” he said quietly, and curiosity bloomed in your chest. Echo held out a small cylindrical item that would fit in the palm of your hand, but you didn’t take it.

“This is a commlink, Echo,” you say quietly, raising an eyebrow.

“This isn’t just a commlink, it’s a promise. I’ll see you again.” Echo tried to hand you the device again, but you moved away slightly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We’re heading out shortly.”

A scoff leaves your mouth. “And I’m supposed to be coming with you.”

He shook his head. “Not this time.”

Your heart skipped a beat and your stomach soured, causing your brow to furrow and your lips to purse. You moved to stand up. “You’re leaving me behind?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Echo’s hand set the commlink on the table, then touched your forearm. You stopped just enough to listen. “You will only end up getting hurt if you come with us.”

“That’s bullshit! I’d rather be hurt and be with you than be okay without you! Don’t you understand that by now?!” you yelled, then clapped a hand over your mouth.

“What do you mean by that?” he whispered, his eyes widening in surprise, but his grip tightening a bit.

“I….” you trailed off, then sighed and looked away, sitting down again. He let go of your arm, then moved his hand to your face. His forefinger curled under your chin and he placed his thumb under your lip, gently guiding your face to look at him again. Your heart began to race, warmth flooding your cheeks at his touch. His gloves were a bit rough, but his touch was so gentle.

“Please tell me,” he said, his voice quiet. His eyes scanned your face, eyebrows upturning. Was it concern? Was it hope?

“What is it you hope to hear?” you whispered.

“What is it you want to say?” he whispered back.

Your breath hitched, gaze flickering to his lips. A small smile grew as you watched and your gaze went back to his eyes. His touch on your chin didn’t falter and relief flooded your body.

“You want this as much as I do,” you say softly, a smile growing on your lips, too.

“I do. And it would kill me if you got hurt coming along with us.”

“And it would kill me to not be with you. I want to be with you, Echo. I didn’t stay behind when the squad went AWOL by leaving Kamino, I will not stay behind now.”

His lips parted, and then he smiled again. “I want to be with you, too.”

“Then don’t ask me to leave you.”

Your fingers slipped into the gaps between his armor pieces and you pulled him closer. His eyes widened slightly, then relaxed to match the sly look in his smile. Your left hand gently touched his prosthetic arm, then you slid your fingers down to his scomplink. His breath hitched as you gently brought his arm around the middle of your back.

“I’m staying, Echo. For better or worse.”

He chuckled. “I’ve heard that phrase before.”

You grin. “It’s a little early to get to that level, but I wouldn’t mind it with you.”

He breathed in sharply. “Really?”

“Really.”

He grinned back and leaned forward a little. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while, now. May I?”

You leaned in, too. “I would love that.”

As your lips met and your eyes closed, you hear a whoop from across the room. Whomever it was could wait. You had been waiting on this for too long. And it seemed like Echo agreed as his lips moved softly over yours.

Taglist (open!): @trixie2023

[luckycharms1701]

*waddles into your inbox and drops this into you lap before scurrying away*

Hello

Behold my humble offering to the Mikey Well Please Suffer 🧡🫡

Angel Kisses

It was just another day.

You were at the lair, just chilling with MIkey on the couch.

He was scribbling furiously into what looked to be a well warn and obviously well loved sketch book, if the frequently thumbed pages and what seemed like a 100 faded stickers were any indicator.

His tongue was poking out in the corner of his mouth, bleping the way he did when he was working intently at something.

And intent he was.

You watched as his eyes flicked around the page, bright with that rare sense of direct focus as his hand danced over the page with his pencil. he was even humming a little, or maybe it was him just talking to himself.

He did that sometimes when he would get into these “Mikey Mojo Moments” as he called them, and you absentmindedly wondered if that was a subconscious trait he had somehow picked up from hanging around Donnie.

You could never be too sure with this one. He was a wonder through and through. A wonder that you could never quite believe that somehow landed as your best friend.

Your lips quirked up with a soft smile at that thought as you secretly peaked at Mikey from over your phone.

You liked seeing him like this. Happy. Creative. In his element.

It had certainly been a while since he had last hyper focused on an art project. But when he did….whew… it was like magic in action. He just had this…light about him that sort of made him…well…you didn’t know…

It sounded cheesy but he just kind of… glowed.

Your eyes flicked to the little bright spots that decorated Mikey’s face like small yellow freckles that peaked out from underneath his orange mask.

Just like those spots lit up his face, without even trying, Mikey could just light up a room.

There was just something about that sunny smile of his that always made your heart happy. He made you happy. Chasing those rainy skies that often would cloud into your life with that ever bright sunshine of his.

You loved it. You loved him.

Whether platonically or romantically, you really didn’t know. You really didn’t care either. All you knew was that you wanted him in your life anyway you could have him because it was brighter simply because he was now in it.

So lost in your musings, you hadn’t realized that Mikey had somehow become aware of your attention. Might be due to the fact that you were burning holes into the sides of his head with your gaze. Or maybe it was the fact that he had ADHD, and he caught ahold of more than what meets the eye.

Who knows? Turtle was a ninja. A ninja who was now grinning like a cat before the cream in front of you.

“See something that you like, Clementine?” Mikey all but purred to you with a teasing waggle of his eyebrows.

You blinked in surprise as his words broke you from your revelry, a slight heat coming to your cheeks as you realized that you most indubitably had been caught staring. Directly at him.

Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had in fact caught you, you cleared your throat and placed your phone down.

“Actually yeah…” You quirked back at him, placing an elbow on the back of the couch, so you could cradle your head with your palm with a soft smirk. “I was thinking how cute your freckles are.”

It was Mikey’s turn to blink as your comment was obviously not what he was expecting.

“My…freckles?” He echoed dumbly, placing his sketchbook down and turning to you, his head tilted in such a way that you were somewhat reminded of a curious puppy.

You chuckled softly at the mental image and nodded with a soft grin, reaching up to gently trace those little sunspots on Mikey’s face with your finger.

“Mhm. They’re super cute, and I’m jealous. I’ve always wanted freckles.”

Mikey froze the instant your finger touched his face, his baby blues widening comically to the size of dinner plates.

Mikey had always been a very affectionate turtle, that was no question. Hugs, cuddles, hand holding, playing with hair, painting fingernails, you named it, he did it.

Well…that was the problem. In this case at least. He did it. Usually he was the one to always initiate with you warming up and reciprocating only after he started.

This was the first time you had ever touched him first, and in a way that was so…so…Mikey didn’t have a word for it, but he knew in that moment he didn’t want it to stop.

He swallowed a little as he felt the tip of your finger slowly trace his “freckles” as you called them with that unfairly adorable smile. That smile paired with that soft look in your eye made his heart skip a beat, and Mikey absentmindedly found himself leaning in a little closer to your touch.

“You…wanted freckles?” He murmured curiously, feeling that a moment like this needed to be treated with a whisper for whatever reason.

You chuckled again and nodded your head, a most darling shade of pink crossing your cheeks as Mikey leaned into your hand. You changed from gently poking his forehead with your finger to tenderly cupping his cheek with your palm, lightly caressing a “freckle” on the corner of his jaw with your thumb.

“Yeah…I always thought they looked so pretty. Small smackerings on the bridges of peoples noses. Dark spots like cheetahs on others. Or even the ones that are so tiny they look little stars on peoples faces, peeping through the skin. I once heard freckles described as angel kisses, little reminders of a love that couldn’t be contained and well…as cheesy as it sounds…I really haven’t been able to see them any other way since.”

A muscle thumped in Mikey’s jaw as your thumb brushed up against the sensitive skin there and he had to resist the urge to just lean into your hand and start churring like some ridiculous reptilian cat, it’s just felt so good. He shook off the shiver that travels down his shell and blinked up at you with his signature crooked grin.

“Angel kissed huh? You’re right. That is cheesy, but lucky for you, I love pizza so cheese totally is my jam.”

You snorted at that and reached up your hand to poke Mikey’s forehead with a shake of your head.

“Cheese is your jam? What you making sandwiches or something up there, Mikey Man?”

Mikey snickered at the poke and reached up to capture your hand with his, holding it tightly as he smirked up at you. There was an interesting light in his eyes as he caught your gaze directly. It seemed friendly and innocent enough at first glance, but the way he held it had you leading to believe otherwise.

That look was dangerous because it made your heart do that weird skip hop thing like a drunken frog attempting to land a jump onto a lily pad, but before you could further that thought, Mikey interrupted with his own.

His head tilted at that doglike angle again and he leaned in with his all too eager curiosity.

“What can I say? I’m always in the mood for a good snack. But, back to the angel kisses thing. You got me curious now. If you could have freckles where would you want them most?”

You blinked a little at Mikey’s question, and sat back a little, tilting your own head in thought. Your free hand that wasn’t being held captive by Mikey’s reached up and lightly touched the bridge of your nose and the tops of your cheeks.

“Huh…that’s…actually a good question. Probably somewhere around here? Gimme that cute look that you have working so well for you or something.”

Mikey sputtered at the light flirt and shook his head with a grin. He rather adored how quick you were. It meant you were comfortable with him and that alone meant the world to him.

He looked up at you as you traced your own face, that same gleam shining in his eye. Mikey leaned in a little closer and said with a raise of his eyebrow, “You know…I could probably help with that…”

Your brows furrowed as you looked at Mikey incredulously before your eyes widened and you excitedly grabbed his hand and leaned closer.

“You…can help me get freckles? Wait…is that something you can do with your ninpo?!”

Mikey was not expecting you to lean in as close as you did, but he wasn’t complaining. Not at all.

He’d never get sick of getting to see the little masterpieces that were your eyes up close like this. Mikey could get lost in those eyes if you let him.

Shaking his head to clear that train of thought, Mikey just smirked up at you.

“Hmm something like that…I was thinking more along the lines of…angel kisses and what not.”

It was your turn to parrot back dumbly as your eyebrow raised in confusion, your heart picking up pace from a drunken frog to buzzed hummingbird.

“A-angel kisses?” You stammered especially as Mikey leaned in even closer, his nose almost brushing yours.

His hand reached up to cup your cheek in mirror of your movements just moments earlier. That bright rare sense of direct focus now centered solely on you as he leaned in even more, his warm breath barely ghosting over your face as he whispered in a low murmur.

“Yes…angel kisses…because I do put the angel in Michealangelo after all…”

@yorshie @justalotoffanfiction

[call-sign-shark]

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary:  This is when things seem to get better with the Shelby family —at least with Polly— that a drunk client crosses the line with you at the Garrison. Haunted by his past insecurities and his burning jealousy, Arthur snaps. And he snaps very bad. For the first time since you've met, he reveals the beast he hides inside... And Tommy obviously uses the incident to blame you.

Words: 5k

TW: Angst, Obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, graphic depiction of violence, murder, lot of blood, canonical violence, witch trial, allusions to smut, allusions to blood!kink, Arthur being an emotional and slightly psychotic mess

Notes:

✞ I don't condone Arthur's behavior. Also, keep in mind that Heaven is certainly a bit twisted too.

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || Masterlist || NEXT

The sound of your heels hammering the cold pavement of Small Heath echoed in the nocturnal streets as you walked to the Garrison. Even though the expansion of the Shelby Company led the family’s interests away from the pub, they still hold the place dear to their hearts and sometimes they liked gathering there for old times' sake. Especially Arthur. Hence, rather than staying at home, reading in front of the fireplace, and dwelling on Polly’s odd behavior at the last family gathering, you decided to occupy your buzzing mind by surprising Arthur at the pub. A raven flew above your head and cawed, its presence stirring interest in you for he had followed you from the moment you had left your house. As you walked to the Garrison, you took a quick glance at the black bird’s silhouette, which was perched on a roof a few houses away. 

"Silly boy, want to tell me something?" You told to it, amused. The animal, dressed with dark feathers, replied with another caw. You chuckled and kept walking.

The white dress and fur coat you were wearing contrasted so well with the dull night that the few people you passed were not sure what they had just seen. Indeed, the moon's glow reflected its light on your porcelain skin, adorning your frail body with an almost supernatural aura. That was why some of them thought they had caught sight of an angel, just like Arthur did the first time you and he met.

When the dark wooden door of the Garrison opened, its noise overcoming the laughter, chatting, and sounds of glasses clinking against each other, a soft wave of warmth caressed your cold face. You had barely stepped inside when people almost all turned around, many pairs of eyes weighing on you. Curious and dumbstruck gazes looked at you, wondering what such a holy-looking creature was doing here — but you did not really care. Your petrifying aquamarine iris swept the room to become familiar with the place before you headed to the counter behind which you saw Arthur’s tall frame. The man was back to you, talking with his little boss-brother Thomas. Awesome, you thought, little King Shelby is here. Sarcasm filled your head at the mere sight of him. To be true, you were well aware that Thomas was always doing his best to avoid you, but it did not annoy you. Quite the contrary, you were more than satisfied with never seeing him — you still did not come to terms with him trying to strangle you after all. Nevertheless, you leaned over the counter, arms resting on its varnished wooden surface, and parted your juicy lips to speak. 

“Good evening, Mister Shelby. Care to serve me a drink?” 

Arthur’s whole being shivered with delight as soon as he recognized the enchanting and oh-so-peculiar tone of your voice — the same voice that had led him to you one bleak and sleepless night. Shaken to the core by your presence, he forgot about Tommy the moment you had started to speak and turned around to face you, the corner of his lips stretching in a genuine and blissed smile. Each time his steel blue eyes fell on you, it was as if God's grace struck him — even though you were living together. The thrills you gave him never left.

“Good evening, love. What is such a delicious little Angel like you doing here? It’s a bad town for such a pretty face ye know.” He almost cooed with his hoarse voice, his hands on the bar and his eyes sparkling with a teasing gleam.

“Fell from the sky and got lost in these streets, so I just followed the light.” Your fingers grazed the back of his hand and went up its skin, leaving pleasant tingles in their trail, until they reached one of the many rings he was wearing. The simple gesture, barely touching him, lit up a blazing fire in his soul. Thomas looked at Arthur and quickly understood that no matter what he would say or do, he held no power over his older brother anymore, “Evening, Tommy.” You said, finally acknowledging him.

“Thomas. It’s Thomas.” He retorted with a voice as cold as an arctic blizzard that could freeze Hell’s inferno itself. He stubbed out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and left without any single word, his shadow disappearing in the streets as he left the Garrison, for your sole presence seemed to bother him. Well, at least his opinion about you did not change. However, the lack of peculiar reaction from him reassured you: Polly had not told him what happened to the tea party yet.

“Don’t mind him eh,” 

You did not.

“I should probably give you one hell of a strong drink if you fell from Eden… Miss?”

“Heaven Lavey.” You winked, enjoying his silly way of hitting on you as if it was the first time you met, “A glass of red wine would do the trick… And the barman’s heart.” Your teasing grin widened, unveiling perfect white teeth. Arthur let out a long exhale through his nostrils, enraptured by your whole being. From your smile to your bratty pout, you got him on his knees. Each time he would dive his eyes into yours, his heart would quicken in his chest and dopamine would rush through his veins — who would want to keep taking drugs after tasting you? Not even himself. He was already high enough by your presence in his life and God knew he never wanted to sober up from you.

“As you wish.” He leaned over the counter to lay a tender kiss on your forehead. The way his mustache gently tickled your skin made you chuckle. How sweet he was, not afraid to lavish you with sweetness even in front of other people. Then, he gathered all his strength to pull away from you and take care of your order — which was nearly impossible to do, for you were both attracted to each other like two powerful magnets. But still, he did and then poured the finest red wine the Garrison had in a glass before putting it in front of you. Then, he leaned a second time over the counter to bring his face close to yours again, “as for my heart,” he paused, his eyes abandoning yours to drop on your full lips he watched with utmost desire, “You already snatched it, angel.” 

“You’re incorrigible, Arthur Shelby.” You could not help but laugh when you noticed that, as you spoke, his focus was still fiercely anchored to your lips. The urge he had to devour them was almost palpable, electrifying the air around him. Yet, you resisted the need to kiss him, rather bringing your small hands to his neck to fix his bow tie with indescribable tenderness. The pair of eyes that were watching you since your arrival could not believe that you had managed to tame the brutal Arthur Shelby — how he behaved with you was so different from the way he was with the others it almost scared them, “I hope you like this little surprise.”

“You can’t imagine how much I do.” He purred, grabbing your hands and putting them on his cheeks. How he loved feeling your cold skin against his. You cupped his face, looking right into his fair eyes with a never-ending love, and he instantly melted. His eyelids half-closed, for you had brought peace to his scorching soul again, “Lemme clean a few things and we’ll go back home eh.”

“Take your time. Je t’attends mon amour — I’ll wait for you my love —“

“Yer comfy here?”

“Arthur,” Your eyes rolled, amused.

“Want a cushion to sit on? Want to wait in a quieter room?” 

“That’s okay.”

“Mmm’kay” 

You freed his face from your sweet grip, leaving him lingering for more. When he reopened his eyes he could not hold the little growl that escaped his lips for you had not kissed him. He blinked several times, trying to chase away the charm you had cast on him with your sole presence, and reluctantly left you. Stars still danced in front of his eyes because of your intoxicating beauty — so hypnotizing he struggled to come back to what he was doing before.

Waiting did not bother you. In fact, you preferred to wait for hours here, in the comforting warmth of the pub and its hullabaloo, rather than being left alone with your thoughts in the quietness of your house. Sipping on your red wine, you were minding your own business when a man sat next to you, his body collapsing on the stool as if walking had been quite a struggle for him. Which was probably the case considering he was drunk. Only a few people were still at the Garrison, the others went home stumbling or dragged away by a fellow friend. The suffocating smell of whiskey and sweat that was emanating from the newcomer made you wrinkled your nose.

“Hey doll, all alone by yourself? ”  The man said, bringing the whiskey glass to his chapped lips to gulp what was left in it. You glanced at him and simply nodded, not really wanting to do any kind of conversation, “Your glass is almost empty. Lemme buy you another one.” 

“I really appreciate it but that’s fine.” You answered with a polite smile — but even when doing the bare minimum your angelic traits never failed to captivate your audience. The man noticed your strong accent and saw the opportunity to carry on with the conversation.

“You come from France eh? I fought in France! Bloody hell, still got the mud of this country under my nails!” 

Maybe he talked a little bit too loud, or maybe Arthur’s senses were as sharp as a wolf’s, but the fact remains he immediately raised his eyes from what he was doing to watch over you. His steel blue iris shifted their attention from you only to cast their furious fire on the drunk man that was talking to you. His woman.

“You know, I always thought it was kind of sad that all the people here only link France with the war. This is a beautiful country.” You answered, taking another sip of red wine. Somehow, you allowed yourself to talk with the man. At least time would probably fly faster that way.

“If France’s as beautiful as ya, I’ll rush back to it by tomorrow, doll. The name’s Jim.”

You silently replied to him with a light smile, gently shaking your head at the fella’s attempt to compliment you.

You smiled at Jim — And Arthur broke the glass he was holding in his hand. It had been crushed by the pressure with which he had tightened his grip around it until it shattered into bits. Sharp pieces of glass had pierced Arthur’s flesh, blood dripping from his palm, but the tormenting anger that was building within him was so overwhelming he did not even feel the pain. As seconds passed, his face contorted with rage and his eyes darkened with jealousy.  You. Smiled. At. Him.

That was definitely not okay — the man did not deserve your blissful smile. 

Deafened by the sound of his own heart pounding in his tight chest, Arthur swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat in a vain attempt to keep control. To not let his anger issue show. The rational part of his mind was telling him to keep calm, for he knew you loved him and only him. You had told him plenty of times, after all. And he trusted you, really. But the other part, led by his insecurities and his mental instability, whispered foul insinuations to his ear.

Why would she stay with such a criminal like you? You’re sick. You’re old. You’re broken — and no one loves broken men. 

You’re stupid, far less clever and charming than Tommy. HE is a real man. 

You either scare or repel women. Linda told you. You don’t deserve Heaven. 

Useless. So useless… Broken. Crazy, you’re fucking crazy. She’ll see what you are. A monster. Monster. Monster. 

Arthur’s jaw clenched as his mind spiraled into a never-ending maze of whipping thoughts and insufferable feelings. Self-loathing was becoming too much to bear — so messy it had started to drown him. He felt his sanity slowly slipping through the cracks of his skull and the only thing he could to do make it stop was to break things. And by things he meant Jim. 

“Listen, Jim. I think you should go back home and rest. This is the whiskey talking.” You stated.

“Only if you come home with me, doll.” He ought to say, his grin widening. 

Breathless with rage, Arthur felt the heat pooling in his face. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead as he shook his wounded hand to clear his flesh from the shards of glass.

“You really should —“

“Come home with me and I’ll make you beg.” He cut off before you had time to turn his invitation down , bringing his hand on one of your thighs to strengthen his point.

Destructive anger flowed through his veins like lava,  exploding at the moment the man laid a finger upon you. Agile like a wild cat, Arthur jumped over the counter and rushed toward you, his shoulders tensed and his arms swinging as he walked.  Earth shook under his feet, opening the gates of Hell more and more at each of his steps. 

“AL-FUCKING-RIGHT THEN,” He blurted out, standing fiercely behind Jim. Arthur’s thundering voice almost made him jump — and it was enough for him to take his hand off your thigh and turned around to meet the Devil’s eyes. You froze on your stool, astounded by your man’s anger.

His face distorted with both fear and confusion at the sight of Arthur Shelby, green with jealousy and maddened with fury, “What the fookin hell did ya say, pal? WHAT THE FOOK DID YOU SAY TO ME WOMAN?” He roared, blue eyes shining with a threatening glow. At this point, Arthur was almost choking with rage. 

“Oh my God Arthur, I did not know she was your woman. I’m sorry! I really did not —“ Jim could not finish his sentence for Arthur had grabbed him by the neck and dragged him away from you in front of the few last clients' terrified looks.

“You TOUCHED her! You bloody touched her, ME ANGEL. ME HEAVEN. I can’t fucking believe it,” He spat, his words coated with bitter venom. Swirling in the chaotic vortex of his own fury, he did not hear the man’s bargains. And somehow, he did not care. There was nothing he could say to stop him anymore. Jim tried to utter another apology.

He had barely opened his mouth when Arthur’s fist crushed his nose with such a violent blow the sound of broken bones echoed through the Garrison. The man, almost knocked out by the uppercut, crashed on the wooden floor, a jet of blood gushing from his face, “Oi! Thought you fought in France. Come on, bastard! Fight me!” He snarled, teeth bared like a wild animal.

He’s going to kill him. That was what crossed your mind when you came back to your senses, overcoming the shock of seeing Arthur in such a frenzy state. You got up from your stool, “Arthur… Stop it please.” You called him, trying to be as soft as possible not to fan the flames of his anger. 

“I AM NOT GONNA STOP!” He barked, looking at you.

He looked at you 

and you saw the Hell in his eyes.

“Heard how he dared to talk to ye? Ah, you wanted to make me angel beg eh?” Arthur kneeled over the whimpering man, almost straddling his quivering body, to grab him by the collar of his coat, “Yeah that’s what you said right. But trust me, you sonofabitch, I’m the one who’ll make you beg!” He yelled, sending another powerful blast to the man’s face with his fists as sole weapons, adorned with thick silver rings. “BEG, YOU BASTARD!”

“P-please—“

Another disgusting sound of torn flesh and cracking skull filled the room. “By order —“ A third punch. Breaking teeth. Jim spat three of them at your feet. “Of the —“  Fourth. Fifth. His knuckles bruised and split under the strength of his blows but Arthur could not care less. All he wanted was to reduce Jim’s face to an unidentifiable slop of flesh.  “Peaky —“  Dislocated jaw hanging loosely. The horrible sight was accompanied by the cacophony of bloody gurgles. “Fookin — “ Jim had lost count of the punches that rained down on him. All he knew was that his body was giving up. At one point Arthur Shelby had stopped beating him, only to unstrapped the combat knife he kept in his holster, “BLINDERS!” 

“ARTHUR NO!!!”  Running to the scene and falling on your knees, you managed to grab his hands and keep him from stabbing the drunk man, “Don’t do that, please I need you. Please, please stop it.” 

Please.

Your voice, like a light piercing the thick veil of his darkness, snatched him from his murderous craze. Waking up by the smell of blood mixed with your sweet spring-like perfume, Arthur stopped in the midst of what he was doing and realized he was holding a knife above his head, ready to plunge it into a man’s chest. He took a look at you, noticing the shocked expression on your holy face, and all his anger disappeared into a void. His fingers loosened around the knife, which fell on the wooden floor with a metallic noise, “please Arthur, calm down… Call down, Mon amour.” You whispered, begging him with your eyes. Silence fell on the Garrison, as well as in his mind. The maddening voices had stopped and the buzzing hatred had vanished. Arthur left the unconscious man and collapsed in your arms, panting and shaking. Adrenaline made you shiver too, but you gently hugged his frame, one hand stroking his hair, “That’s okay… I’m here …”  You repeated just like a healing chant as a few men grabbed the severely injured victim and took him away from the pub.

“I’m … I’m sorry— Heaven, oh my god —“ Arthur stuttered, slowly realizing what he just did. He buried his face in your breasts, for comfort as well as to hide the blood that had splattered on him. He barely dared to hug your frail body for fear of breaking you.  Sometimes, he swore he had hell in his hands and he did not want to bring you down in the flames with him. 

“Shhhh… Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do it.”  You said with a soothing tone. With divine softness, you ran your fingers through his hair, not minding the blood he smeared on your clothes and bosom, “that’s okay, you’re a good boy..” But as you were trying to chase away your man’s demons, a far too familiar voice echoed in the room.

“What the fuck is this mess?!” Thomas Shelby exclaimed for he had just entered the Garrison, John by his side. His freezing blue eyes looked at you from above.  The king was here and he hated what he saw.

“John, bring Arthur home. Everyone OUT.” 

This was all it took to empty the Garrison from its remaining clients. When John gently put his hand on his older brother’s shoulder, Arthur’s embrace tightened around your tiny silhouette for he did not want to leave you.  “No,” he managed to beg between two heartbreaking sobs. His face still hidden, not daring to look at you for fear of seeing disgust and anger in your eyes, Arthur refused to let you go. Somehow, he was convinced you would not go back home — why would you after what you had just witnessed? “Don’t take me away from her!”  He said, a bit more fiercely, which resulted in John taking a few steps back and looking at you, silently begging you to help him. In the midst of the chaos, only you could bring him back to his senses. A brief sigh escaped from your lips before you gently forced Arthur to look at you.

“Listen, chéri. I need you to go back home and calm down. I’ll be very quick.” 

“No, no, you won’t come back.” 

“ I’ll do,” You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, accidentally smearing more blood on his face doing so, “and when I do, I’ll take care of you alright? I’ll keep you warm and loved.” Punctuating your sentence with affection, you slicked his hair back with a frail but oh-so-loving grin on your face. He finally accepted.

When he left alongside John, your smile vanished and you got up from the floor, legs still slightly shaking. Thomas was still standing in the middle of the pub, towering you with all his height, and looking at you with his cold eyes. His chilling stare followed your movements as you walked to the bar and poured yourself another glass of wine.

“I told you to keep a low profile,” He began. Thomas Shelby’s voice was dressed in an apparent quiet, but something in his tone was threatening — and even though he did not display any sign of emotion, you knew his blood was boiling.

“Oh come on Thomas, all I wanted was to make a surprise to Arthur.” You took a mouthful of wine — the much-needed alcohol calming your anxiety.

Thomas closed his eyes for a few seconds and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop his dawning headache, “ A surprise… I hope you like the result then,” He retorted, before shifting his eyes back to you,

“Listen, I know you don’t like me but — ” 

“He nearly killed someone for you. What the fuck are you doing to my brother, eh?” Tommy slightly tilted his head to the side, a spark of resentment lightening up his icy iris. You remained silent, still not believing Thomas was really blaming you for Arthur’s outburst. Of course, you had not reacted immediately, but the shock had petrified you for a few long minutes — but was it your fault if he had beaten the man? Certainly not. At this point, Tommy was just lashing out at you for all the issues his family was facing. It was far easier than admitting his own flaws and responsibility. Visibly infuriated by your silence,  Tommy walked to you and stopped only a few inches from you, trapping your body between the counter and his own strong frame. He was close — so close your breasts were almost pressed against his chest, “Look me in the eyes when I fucking talk to you, Heaven.” He spat your name with disgust, as if he had just bitten into an apple filled with maggots.

“Get my pretty name out of your mouth,” You looked dagger at him, anger rushing through your veins at such an unwanted proximity. Yet you did not flicker.

“You fucking white Devil,” He hissed through his teeth, his low voice still calm in spite of his blooming hatred, “Are you happy to spread chaos in our life? What do you want from us ey?” He leaned over you, bringing his face closer to yours. With his brows slightly furrowed, Tommy’s sky blue eyes were probing yours, trying to understand the mystery they hid behind their aquamarine wonders, ”What do you want from me?! After Arthur is this me you want to control??” He growled. Your heart raced in your chest — shivers ran down your spine, and goosebumps appeared on your porcelain skin, for his unpredictable behavior was starting to worry you.

“I don’t want anything from you Thomas Shelby. Whether you like it or not I’m being honest with your brother. You know Arthur’s emotional, you can’t blame me for that.  You take away his meds, turn him into a killer, and now you’re surprised he snaps?? How. Fucking. Unbelievable! Do you know what I think? Well, I think you need me to be your scapegoat . You need to blame me for your sins. For everyone’s sins.”

“Fucking burn in hell,” He spat again but could not find something to retort properly. It seemed like the skies gave you the gift of shutting Thomas Shelby's mouth. Instead, one of his hands grabbed you by the neck and forced your face to get closer to his. His breath fanned over your skin, as burning as a dragon’s fire.

“Be careful with the Rule of Three, Thomas. For each spell you cast always returns to you three times stronger.”  You whispered. Then you gathered all your remaining strength to push him away from you, his musky and peculiar perfume almost making your head spin.  Not wanting to stay here any longer — and also longing for a hot shower to wash away the blood from your skin —, you headed to the Garrison’s door. Obviously, Tommy’s eyes followed you but he did not say anything, muted by his resentment. Admittedly, he was torn between the urge to bounce on you and the desire to see you leave. You were about to disappear, the cold breeze of the night jumping at your face and rushing into the pub as you opened the wooden door. But your instincts kicked in. After a few seconds of hesitation, you finally decided to warn little king Shelby.

“By the way..." You looked at Thomas from above your shoulder.

"You should keep an eye on Charles. You really should.” 

He froze. Confused and infuriated.

You left. Hurt and bitter.

When you came back home, you crossed your reflection in the corridor’s mirror.  Your body refused to work anymore and forced you to stop in front of it. Facing your own person was something you hated. With trembling fingers, you brushed the blood stain Arthur had left on one of your cheeks.

Mom! Mom, no!!

I’ll fucking kill you all!!

You clenched your jaw at the memory it triggered, but still, you kept looking at your tainted ivory skin as if you were slowly learning to come to terms with what you did and what you were. Your fingers trailed down your throat until they grazed the top of your bosom, where the blood had accumulated the most. Another painful memory assaulted your mind, replaying the aching, almost inhuman screams of your little sister when her flesh had been eaten alive by the hungry tongues of the pyre’s flames.

Only God knew how you managed to keep your mind from spiraling into the darkest pits of your trauma, but you did — maybe that was because Arthur needed you. That protective instinct was stronger than your own pain. That was why you tricked your body into moving away from the mirror and went upstairs to take a hot shower before joining your man in bed. John had probably managed to convince him to sleep. Or his body had collapsed on the mattress, exhausted by the energy poured in his latest outburst.

As the running water of the shower was filling the bathroom with its regular and soothing noise, you slowly let your white dress slip along your body until it fell on the floor, as well as your lace panties. You stepped over the pile of clothes and, without waiting any longer, you hopped under the shower and welcomed its warm water with utter joy. A sigh of relief escaped from your lips as you tilted your head back, water hugging your body and raining down on your long white mane that cascaded down your lower back. You almost managed to empty your mind when, suddenly, one gentle calloused hand brushed your hip. Jumping in surprise, you turn around and saw that Arthur had joined you under the shower. His hands, arms, and face were still splattered with half-dried blood he had not cleaned. To be true, he had been too busy curling up on the bedroom floor, panicking about at the idea of you leaving him after what you had witnessed.

“You’re here…” His gravel voice said, water falling on his naked body whose millions of freckles drew magnificent constellations on his skin.

“Told you I’d come back.”  

He smiled, softly. His steel blue had stopped avoiding you and was now firmly anchored in yours.

 He took a step toward you.

You stepped back in response until your bare body met the cold shower wall.

Your pulse quickened, fascinated by the way Arthur looked. He had something in his eyes — a mix of limerence and pure madness who, combined with the crimson stains on his face, made your legs weak. His breath was slow but yours soon became erratic, even though he had barely touched you yet. 

“You ain’t scared, love? Please, tell me you ain’t scared of your Arthur…” He said, his lower lip trembling as his body perfectly interlocked with yours. A small growl escaped from his throat at the intoxicating sensation of yours curves pressed against his skin. But despite his inextinguible desire, he still looked at you with hesitation and genuine guilt — his puppy eyes would surely break anyone’s heart.

“No, I’m not scared,” You replied, not shifting your gaze from him. The corner of your juicy and honey lips stretched in a small grin, “You…” You paused, bringing one hand to his stained cheek, “you look pretty with blood all over your face.”  

Arthur’s eyes lightened with both surprise and ravaging desire, for you had witnessed the beast’s violence but still thought he was attractive. A twisted wave of arousal shook you to the core when he bared his teeth in a vaguely dangerous but oh-so-seductive smirk.

“Oh bloody hell, angel…” Not finishing his sentence, his lips captured yours in a fury kiss for he could not wait any longer. The need to possess you, to feel you, was too devastatingly strong to resist. At first, his lustful kiss surprised you, and even though you burnt for him l, a part of you felt it was wrong to feel this kind of twisted attraction. Last thing Arthur needed was someone encouraging his violence — but your brain soon shut down at the thought he did it for you. Only you. Your arms locked up around his neck to deepen the waltz of your tongues, sending fireworks in your loins. It was far than enough to turn Arthur on who, all of sudden, lifted you from the ground as if you weighted nothing.

You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, already suffocating with the hungry way he devoured your mouth and the shower’s steam accumulating around you.

As water rained down on your two intertwined bodies, it washed away the blood from your skins. The tainted liquid disappeared down the drain, leaving pale red stains on the bathtub's immaculate marble. 

You kissed him harder. Rougher. Until his flesh dived into yours in an explosion of pleasure and shooting stars.

For you had seen the Hell in his eyes, and loved it anyway. 

Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

Each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alones but I advise you to read everything if you want a better understanding of details.

Tagging those who might be interested: @areyenotfondofmelobster @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08

[janners]

Green Eyes

Neteyam (17) x Human!reader (18)

warnings : childhood friends to lovers, fluff..?, slowburn ish, angsty angst, death, mental health, illness

word count : 18.7k

a/n: Another angst one after posting my fluff fic HAHA I live to write angsty shit. Originally it was going to be around like 10k but obviously that didn’t happen so it took longer than expected. The beginning is mostly about you but then it does reach Neteyam content after a bit since it's slowburnish.

_

Throughout Neteyams life, he was like his mother. Not wanting to interact with anything Skypeople related. Despite his dislike for Skypeople, there were distant memories of a certain young girl that always seemed to be stuck in the back of his mind. Most nights filled with frustration and confusion as to who you were. Sometimes dreams would show him his younger self with a faceless girl running around the village playing and picking flowers in the forest. He kept this to himself, not sure if anyone would be able to help him with this mystery.

During the passing days, Neteyam always sees his brother and sister going in the direction of the lab to see their tawtute friends. He never understood why they were so fond of the certain people they met with. Always talking highly of them when coming back from their mini adventure. Especially when Kiri talks about a girl who she is fond of most. The talk of the girl had gotten his attention from time to time wondering if it was possible that she could be the girl he has memories about. But the thought disappears in doubt, not knowing if the girl really exists.

_

When the war was over, two small children remained on Pandora with a couple scientists while the rest of the humans went back to Earth. One boy named Spider and an older girl named Y/n. Spider was the child who was quite chaotic, while you were quite the same but just a little toned down. You had a very adventurous spirit when you were younger, always curious about everything and wandering off on your own. You had also met a few Na’vi kids that you came close with before you became sick.

10 years ago

“PLEASE NORM. I want to explore the forest pleeeasse”

Being eight years old, you wanted nothing more than to explore the large forest. Everyday you would ask Norm or Max at least once hoping they would say yes. Though you’ve gotten no each and every attempt. You tried staying on your best behaviour the past couple weeks anticipating that they would say yes at some point. When you asked today, Norm didn’t have his usual straight face when he was about to reject your wants. Instead there was a small smile that made its way on his lips.

“I was just about to talk to you about that. I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to the Omatikaya clan?”

Your eyes glimmered in excitement, going into the forest was one thing but the clan? That was even better than you could’ve imagined. Jumping up and down eager to get going, you kept pushing and pulling Norm in different directions as he was collecting things to bring with him. As he finished packing his essential things, he held your hand walking to the door. He grabbed a smaller mask and crouched down to secure it one you face. He told you to wait here while he went to link with his Avatar. After a couple minutes the door opens revealing a very tall Norm. You shield your face with your arm from the bright light as you step outside for the first time. Lowering your arm slowly, your mouth gaped open seeing the forest in person.

The green looked more vibrant compared to the window view and the flora was gorgeous. Your small hand is still in the grasp of Norms large blue hand while walking down a certain path towards the village. Lifting your head up, you see syaksyuk swinging from tree to tree as some peer down at your figures in curiosity. Continuing along the path you also spot a few yerik grazing on the grass and small plants around them. Getting closer and closer you hear sounds of chatter. Norm greeted a warrior who was at the village borders before entering the village. You lean closer into Norm, not used to the stares from the clan members. You reach a large tent, much larger than the others. Walking in you spot a family, you quickly noticed Jake who waved to the both of you. Jake comes to visit the lab every once in a while to check on everyone. Everytime he came, you would be ready to give him a new trinket you made.

You waved back with a shy smile as you still hid behind Norm. Norm stepped to the side and pushed his hand gently against your back to introduce yourself to the rest. Jake quickly told the kids to greet you as well. You look to Norm to make sure it was okay to go ahead, he gave you a curt nod telling that it was okay. As he walked away to talk with Jake and Neytiri, the tall kids walked to you with caution. They walk circles around you, studying your strange features and the device on your face. Two of them approached and grabbed your hands observing them before comparing them to their own hands. Their eyes held amazement as they were the same. The third child only watched from a distance, still wary of your presence. They started talking in Na’vi, you couldn’t understand all of it but picked up a few words from it. Norm started teaching not too long ago, but you were a quick learner.

The two were asking their mother a question, something along the lines of “forest…take her?”

Neytiri looked at you with sceptical eyes as she still wasn’t very fond of Norm either, but seeing as you were much smaller compared to them she thought it would be okay just once. She gave them a brief nod, they squealed in excitement as they held your hands dragging you out of the tent.

Not really sure what to do, you just went along. It seemed as though they were taking you to the forest but a different area. Trailing behind you was the other child, he kept a close eye on you not sure if you were harmless to them. As he watched your movements, he also caught the glimpse of wonder in your eyes. Coming to a stop, you look around observing your surroundings. It was a small clear area that was surrounded by large trees and plants. Right in the middle was a pond with small fish swimming around. Your smile at them showing all your teeth while your eyes were wide with curiosity. The smaller boy talked in broken English, mixed with some simple Na’vi words.

“My tstxo is Lo’ak and this Kiri.”

He then pointed towards his older brother. “Tsmukan, Neteyam”

You smile in delight knowing all their names, you then try your newly learned N’avi to introduce yourself. You point to yourself.

“Oe y/n”

Neteyam tilted his head by the odd Na’vi attempt. He turned to Lo’ak speaking fluently.

“fo nìNa'vi plltxe nìfya'o a hek” (They speak Na’vi strangely)

Confused by what he said, you turn to Lo’ak to see if he might translate. But he was looking at his brother as if he was dumb.

“po poltxe nìlaw letam natawtute” (She spoke clearly enough as Skyperson)

Neteyam stuck his tongue out at him while Lo’ak mocked him back. A small giggle left your mouth watching the funny scene. Kiri had come closer to you, saying in broken english that you spoke decent Na’vi for a tawtute. You took it as a compliment as you were working hard to become fluent someday. After introducing yourselves, Lo’ak suggested that they all play tag, something he learned from his father. You agree in joy, never having the chance to play tag with this many before. Normally you only really play with Spider, he’s probably bored at the lab right now. Lo’ak was it, he started counting down from 10 to give everyone a head start. You followed Neteyam as you weren’t familiar with the forest. You all heard Lo’ak yell his heart out ready to capture you all. Hours passed as you all continued playing, Lo’ak captured you multiple times since you were much slower compared to them all.

Eventually the day had to come to an end. Norm and Jake called for all of you to come back to the village to say goodbye. You all had bonded quite well for the first time meeting. Jake and Norm watched as they all looked a little sad to be parting ways. They give each other a look before they sigh in unison. Jake bent down to meet their eye levels,

“How do you feel if Y/n visits 3 days a week?”

All four of them yelled yes multiple times. Jake gave Norm a look of confirmation, Norm looked at you for a second seeing you give him puppy dog eyes. He exhaled through his nose while pursing his lips while giving both you and Jake a nod. You threw your hands up in exhilaration. You give each of the sully kids a hug before heading back to the lab. Reaching the edge of the village line, you look back once more, giving the biggest wave with both hands to the Sullys. Reaching the lab, you went to Spider’s room to tell him everything about the outside world. He wasn’t quite old enough yet to go out so telling him would cheer him up about you going. As days pass, you continue visiting the Sullys to play and hangout. The one day you went out, you felt a bit tired before heading outside. You waved it off thinking it would go away. As you walked towards the spot you guys claimed, the journey had you heaving. You weren’t sure why you were having such trouble breathing. You ignored it once more thinking it wasn’t a huge deal. Stepping into the area, you see Lo’ak, Kiri, and Neteyam talking as they wait for you.

Greeting them with a scare, they tackled you into a hug. Laughing in joy, you completely forgot about the pain residing in your body. All of you decided to play tag once again, never getting sick of the game. Neteyam was it this time. Giving you all a head start, you guys sprint away not wanting to get caught. As you were running the pain returned but doubled, you fell to your knees coughing violently. Hands digging into the Earth, gasping for air as you kept coughing. One last hard cough came from your trembling body. Tears of pain were running down your flushed cheeks. You look down slightly to the glass of your mask. Red liquid drips from right in front of your mouth. Blood? Panic set into your system from the sight of your blood. Your vision begins to blur as you struggle to breathe. From a distance you hear yelling, you weren’t sure who. Just before you could think of who it may be, you went unconscious.

_

You’re 18 now. That day you first passed out was the last time you ever went outside. You were bedridden for a while before being able to walk around again. The tests that Norm ran never helped. It seemed that your immune system was too weak for the Pandora atmosphere causing you to develop a deadly disease. It wasn’t contagious much to everyone's relief but you being the only one having it had them numb. A mere 8 year old getting an unknown disease.

Since that day, the only rule that was set against you was, “No going outside” which made you upset. Everyday you look out your window, gazing at the forest with sorrow in your eyes. Though instead of moping around all day, at age 12 you started watching a woman's logs. Her name was Grace, the way she talked about Pandora and everything about it made you want to continue her studies. Norm continued to help you with Na’vi speaking, while you started studying more about the life of Pandora and the science behind it. It wasn’t until about you were 14 that Lo’ak and Kiri started coming to the lab. When you saw them for the first time in years, you ran into their arms with zero hesitation. They even started bringing their younger sister along, and she was a very energetic child. Spider was also old enough to go out himself and join the Sully kids. You were envious of him, but you didn’t let it ruin your sibling relationship with him. Everyday when he returned, he would tell you everything he saw and did. Even told you about new plants and flora he discovered to add into your studies.

The one thing you always wondered was why Neteyam never came by. Lo’ak told you that he began training a lot due to being the eldest. Although you understood, you missed him. When you first met him you knew he was wary of you, but a close bond formed after he knew you were good. You were the closest with him before you had your problem appear. But after 10 years of not seeing him, he eventually became a distant memory to sometimes look back on. Lo’ak and Kiri continued to grow, as well as you. Unfortunately your condition grew with you, being more sick than you usually were.

_

Waking up was difficult these days, all you wanted to do was stay in bed and gaze out the window. The only thing keeping you going is the work you dedicated yourself to. Getting up, you slip on your slippers heading to your work space. Your hair was like a nest, bags under your eyes, back hunched over. You grab your lab coat and throw it over your shoulder while grabbing coffee. You walk to Norm and give him a quick good morning before settling into your chair. Just as you relaxed, the sound of large footsteps echoed. You spun your chair to face the sound. Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak came in waving towards you. As you wave back, you spin back around to start your studies. Kiri appeared beside your desk peering down onto your work.

“You should take a break, you know. I don’t want you getting more sick from overworking yourself”

You lift your head to meet Kiris face. Giving her a gentle smile, you lift up one of your pages showing it to her. Your voice was raspy from it being constantly sore due to coughing and heaving throughout the days.

“I wish I could but this work isn’t going to help itself. Plus working keeps me at ease, you should know that Kiri”

Chuckling softly as you watch her expression go from concern to a really? look. Just as you were about to ask something, Tuk tugged on your arm. You bring your other arm up to pat her head.

“Hey Tuk how’ve you been?”

Tuk had a wide smile displayed on her face.

“I’ve been good! How about you lefpom?”

Lefpom, a nickname she gave you because you always seemed happy around her. Your hand touched hers as you answered that you’ve been good as well. You tell her to go find Spider and scare him with Lo’ak. She nods while having a cheeky grin plastered on her face. As she went out of earshot you turned back to Kiri with a tired look. A minute of silence before you started to talk again quietly.

“It’s been getting worse Kiri…”

Kiri was the only one who knew about your worsening condition, not even Norm. You could tell by her face that she was upset. Throughout the tough years, Kiri really was the only one you could trust with these details. If Lo’ak found out or Norm, you would not hear the end of it.

“What happened in your study for this condition? I thought you were getting close?”

There was a small strain in her voice as she spoke. You could only sigh while you hang your head low.

“I gave up on that months ago. Nothing worked Kiri, it’s all a waste.”

You hand rubbing your forehead in exhaustion, you push the papers towards Kiri. All of them had big red X’s across them indicating each failed attempt. Kiri knelt down to reach your level, she gently put her head against your arm. You rest your head on top of hers to comfort her. You whisper softly.

“It’ll be fine. I’m still here and alive, that’s all that matters as of right now.”

You tried hard to suppress your tears, not wanting Lo’ak and Tuk see you in such a vulnerable state. You hear footsteps nearing once more, you quickly wipe the loose tears and give Kiri one last hug before they all head out leaving you behind once more. You wave them all off telling them to be careful, while Lo’ak remarks “yes mother” in the most sarcastic tone. Rolling your eyes, you say bye nice and loud as you shut the door. You slowly bring your hand back in your lap looking through the window as you watch them disappear in the forest. You wish you could join them, but going outside would be too risky in your current condition. Huffing in frustration, you wander around the lab a bit to get your mind going and distracted. Going into a specific room, you slowly approach the floating Avatar, which was Graces. Right behind hers was yours. You drag your feet to reach your Avatar. It was only last year that Norm surprised you with it, but not once have you used it. Afraid that you’d get used to it too much to the point you’d forget that you have this life sucking disease. Afraid that you would get too attached, and then ending up dead within only a few short years.

Hand gently touches the glass as you study the face of your Avatar. You were too focused not noticing Norm enter the room. He watched as a dull look washes over your face when studying your Avatar. Norm gifted the Avatar to you so that you would be able to go out again. But you were too worried about your condition and decided against it even though you were grateful for the Avatar.  He could only feel horrible for not being able to figure out this disease, he knew how much you wanted to experience the forest once more. He knocked on the side of the wall to grab your attention. Snapping out of your daydreaming, you turn your head seeing Norm leaning against the doorframe.

“I made some food, come eat”

You nod, glancing back once more to your floating Avatar before following after Norm.

_

Kiri, Lo’ak, Tuk and Spider all walk towards the village. Kiri thought long and hard about how she could possibly help you. She knows you said not to tell anyone, but the idea of telling her grandmother could really assist you. Lo’ak noticed Kiri’s furrowed expression, and slightly bumped her with his hip to snap her out of her deep thinking. Kiri blinked, turning her head to Lo’ak with a questionable look.

“You’ve looked like that since we left the lab. Did something happen?”

“No nothing, just some things running through my mind.”

Lo’ak looked unsure with her reply but carried on. They reached the village, Tuk ran around straight away joining her friends. Spider stayed by Lo’aks side as they head to the training grounds to fuck around with the weapons. As for Kiri, she went to the healing tent to talk with her grandmother. She opened the flap seeing Mo’at sitting grinding herbs. She takes a seat infront of her waiting till Mo’at speaks first.

“Kiri, is there something you need?”

Kiri shifts a little closer, leaning forward talking in a lowered voice.

“Is there a possible way you could join me at the lab at some point tomorrow?”

Mo’ats movements stop, lifting her head with a strange expression taking over her face.

“Why should I step foot there?”

She hesitated with her next words, trying to word it properly. Still unsure if she wanted to reveal your current situation to someone. Kiri pondered for a minute before blurting out what she needed to say.

“I have a friend who has an unknown disease and her condition is worsening by the day. I’m not sure if you remember her, her name is y/n?”

Mo’at eyes widened at the name. It has been a while since she last saw you, a mere child. She knew you were a good child, and hearing an unknown disease being uncovered made her worried.

“Is she not able to come to the village, she did when she was a child?”

“The disease is the reason why she cannot come out here. Her system is too weak for the environment here” Kiri sighed

Mo’at was deciding if going would benefit both. She did not want a disease to grab a clan member and not know how to treat it. Nor did she want you to suffer. After thinking for a little while, she decided to join Kiri on her next trip to the lab, which happens to be tomorrow. Kiri thanked her, grateful that you might finally get the help you need. One thing neither of them noticed was the presence of a certain older brother lurking outside of the tent.

Neteyam had gotten hurt at the shooting range due to Lo’aks antics with Spider. The arrow had grazed his arm causing a bit of blood to drip down his arm. He wasn’t sure why he put up with Lo’aks skxawng ass. Trudging to the tent to get paste for the cut, he paused hearing chatter going on inside. Normally he doesn’t eavesdrop but Kiri’s voice caught his attention. Ears picking up the words, disease, friend, y/n…? That name felt familiar to him, he just couldn’t remember from where. He leans in closer hearing his grandmother saying that she will accompany Kiri to the lab. He never expected her to step on tawtute grounds, it must be serious if she was leaving the village to see a mere human.  Waiting another minute to see if the conversation was over before entering the tent. Giving a small greeting to Mo’at, he goes to sit in front of Kiri showing his cut. Kiri mumbled Lo’ak? and he could only nod with a huff.

He contemplates on bringing up their topic from earlier, wanting to come along on the trip out of curiosity. Fiddling with his fingers he decided to just say what he wanted to say.

“Can I accompany you both to the lab?”

Both Kiri and Mo’at paused looking up at Neteyam in unison. They make eye contact before looking at Neteyam once more. Kiri spoke up first.

“Why”

“I was curious about who you were talking about, this y/n girl. It sounds familiar.”

Her brows furrowed and eyes squinted at Neteyams words. He didn’t remember you? She thought it was odd seeing as you two were the closest when you were younger. Though it made sense a little bit knowing you haven’t seen each other in years. She looked to Mo’at to see if she cared. She only tilted her head making the decision for Kiri to decide. Pursing her lips, she said okay as she patched the rest of his cut up. Kiri wasn’t fully sure if his presence would be a good idea considering how long it’s been since you last saw him, but it could be good too. Neteyam gave her a quick thanks, standing up to exit the tent.

Neteyam was in deep thought as he headed back to the family tent. He didn’t know why the name y/n sounded so familiar. Lately due to his intense training, it’s like he can’t remember much from his childhood and it was frustrating. One thing that frustrated him most was the constant appearance of a girl in his mind.

_

You didn’t get a wink of sleep, the pain in your body kept you up all night. You roll to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling with a tired expression. Ever since this disease surfaced you always had pessimistic thoughts. Not having much hope in curing whatever you had, accepting the chance of possible death. There were still times you coughed up blood, mostly on days you hurt most. Those days were like hell, it felt as if your skin was on fire, lungs constricted, barely being able to move your own body. It would last for hours until it finally settled. Sighing, you sit up, groaning in ache as you stretch your limbs slightly. Walking over to your cabinet, you open it to reveal a variety of painkillers and cold patches. Grabbing the strongest one, you pop two in your mouth and washing it down with your day old water. Then grabbing a few cold patches and placing it on the back of your neck, multiple areas on your back, and your shoulders.

You drag your body to Grace's old working area, you turn on her logs to watch through again for the thousandth time. You could never get bored of her logs, you could watch them forever if you could. Minutes pass before a knock catches your attention, you turn to see Kiri with a nervous smile. You give her a confused look, normally she’d come right up and greet you. Kiri claps her hands together, she avoids eye contact with you as she speaks in a quiet tone.

“I know you told me not to tell anyone but I had an idea about asking my grandmother to see if she could figure out what your condition was-”

You interrupted her with a sharp whisper.

“What?!”

“I know! I know! But I just had to, she is Tsahik and she is better than these machines.”

Burying your face in your hands as you groan softly. You pinch the bridge of your nose not knowing how to react to this situation right now. You asked if anyone else knew, but telling from her face you couldn’t help but sigh.

“I swear I only told her but apparently Neteyam overheard our talking”

“Neteyam…? He’s here?” Eyes blown wide. You haven’t heard that name in forever. Kiri slowly nods her head a little worried about how you’d react. But instead she got a worried expression.

“I’m not sure about this Kiri. What if it turns out to be worse than I thought it was. What if-” Your voice cracked. “What if we can’t get rid of it? What do we do then? Plus I’m not sure I really want Neteyam seeing me like this for the first time in years”

Kiri finally walks over to you, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, my grandmother will help you I promise. As for Neteyam, I don’t think you should be worrying too much about him right now” Giving you a small smile.

Taking in a deep breath before exhaling, you give her a small nod. Her smile widens, she helps you up from the chair, making sure you stand properly. You appreciate her efforts in helping you, you felt lucky to have someone like her in your life. You stop her for a second to turn off the computer, she glanced at what you were doing before you shut it off. You started walking out of the room, heading towards where the other two Na’vi were waiting.

“You were watching my moms logs again?”

“Never get tired of em, you should know that” You give her a small bump with your hip teasingly.

Finally entering the room, you were nervous. You saw the backs of two familiar Na’vi. The first to turn was Mo’at, who gave you a concerned look as she took in your appearance. Then there was Neteyam, his face looked stunned yet confused. Did he not remember you? Turning back to Mo’at, you give her a small greeting.

“It’s been a while Tsahik”

She gave you a curt nod while waving her hand to signal you to come over. Mo’at glances at Kiri and Neteyam, telling them to wait in the other room as she studies your current state. Kiri gave you one last look of encouragement before dragging Neteyam with her as he tried hard to study your features. Something about you felt familiar to him, it was on the tip of his tongue.

You watch as they leave, turning back to Mo’at to start her observations. She sat you down on one of the near chairs, looking around your body to spot any abnormalities. After that she started doing some Tsahik practices on you to determine your health and damage that had been done. Mo’at had a concentrated face that did not falter throughout the practices. After a long hour or so, Mo’at stood up straight, huffing air out her nose. Another concerned look falls over her face, that makes you feel nauseous. Mo’at looks straight into your eyes, talking to you with a gentle voice.

“This sickness has done much permanent damage. I cannot do much about the current damage. I can give you herbs and medicine to help slow the process down of the disease but it’s possible that, that is all I can do for you. Your life span may be much shorter than expected.”

The world froze as those words left her lips. You had gone completely numb not knowing how to react to that news. You knew that this would’ve been a possibility but never did you think you would hear it. Body still in shock, Mo’at sighed and gave you a soft touch to your shoulder before leaving to the other room to give you some time. Knees slowly bending, your hand on the chair for support as your legs make contact with the cold floor. Your back hunches over as you try to process the words you received from Mo’at. A small drop of liquid crashes into the floor. Your hand comes up to your face feeling something wet on your cheeks. Tears. You were numb yet tears were running down your face. The painkillers had slightly worn off, the pain in your body slowly returning. I’m really going to die aren’t I? You chuckle bitterly at the thought before you finally start breaking down. Hand over your mouth to suppress your cries and heavy breathing. The other hand gripping your shirt tightly while hitting it against your chest. What about Norm? The Sullys? Spider? Graces studies? Your thoughts scrambling through your mind as you sob on the hard floor.

As you were crying, in the other room Kiri was worried deeply about how you were doing. She wasn’t sure if she should ask her grandmother about what happened as she walked in. Mo’at did not mention a single thing from the situation. Neteyam was still in deep thought wondering who you were and why you were so important to his siblings. Mo’at happened to notice an unfamiliar Avatar near Graces.

“Kiri, whose Avatar is that?”

Kiri stopped her pacing, ears perking at the mention of an Avatar. That had also caught Neteyams attention.

“It’s y/n’s”

A long silence filled the room. Mo’at felt perplexed about your Avatar, not knowing why she hasn’t seen you use it. Kiri saw her expression, but thought it was best to not say anything. Turning to Neteyam, Kiri saw him still in deep thought about you. She walked up to him and gave him a small tap on the shoulder pulling him from his thoughts. She tilts her head to the corner of the room wanting to talk with him. Kiri sat in the corner as Neteyam took the spot next to her. She twists her head to face him.

“Do you really not remember who y/n is?”

He could only sigh as he shook his head.

“Hm, remember when we were younger, there was a little girl who came to the village with Norm? That girl was y/n, one of our closest friends when we were children. Though, I understand your frustration, we didn’t see her until about 4 years ago. While you haven’t seen her in like 10 years. When we first saw her it was shocking to see her again.”

The moment Kiri mentioned a young girl who came to the village years back, gears started turning in his head. You must’ve been the girl he’s been seeing in his dreams and in his memories. He started thinking a little harder, more memories started flooding in, your face isn’t blurred anymore. Although you were just kids, you still looked like you.

“It really was her”

Kiri gave him a small smile while humming. She looks at the door hoping you would come out soon.

“The first time I see her in forever, and she’s sick.”

She rubs his back as her lips tightened. “It isn’t your fault, you’ve been busy with training. Especially since dad won’t give you a break”

The corner of her lips slightly raised. They sat in silence for a little longer until a creaking sound emerged. They all looked up at you, you had a smile on your face.

“Sorry for taking so long. I just had to gather my thoughts together.”

Your voice is quiet and raspy. Eyes with light red hues from the raw tears that were shed. Kiri had stood up swiftly, striding towards and giving you a crushing hug. You slowly wrap your hands around her, giving her a tight squeeze as if it was the last time you were going to hug her. Exhaling a long breath of air as your head rested on Kiri’s chest.

Neteyam could tell something was wrong as you and Kiri shared a long embrace. He noticed the slight falter in your expression when Kiri hugged you and the redness around your eyes and nose. Staying put in his spot, waiting until the quiet moment to end. Mo’at could only look at you with curious eyes when you entered with a smile moulding your face. A long minute passed before you pulled away from the hug. You look at Kiri, eyes forming into crescents as you give her a reassuring look. You didn’t want to lie to her, but it was best if you kept your permanent condition to yourself. You grab her hand gently.

“I am okay… Tsahik said that’d it’d all be okay. There are herbs that she can give me to help me through this horrible disease.”

Mo’at turned to you, eyes widening slightly to your words. Kiri looked at you with relief washing over her face then to exuberance. She grabbed your shoulders asking if you were absolutely serious, you could only nod your head with a half smile. Neteyam watched as Kiri looked overjoyed at the news. He too felt relieved but felt as if something was off with you. He would’ve thought that you would be just as joyous as Kiri but you only seem to give half the energy. But he didn’t look too into it especially since he hasn’t talked to you in 10 years and both of you changed a lot. Kiri waved him over to join in the happyfest of your healing. He felt a little awkward about joining in, he wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with him coming near you. Neteyam walks stiffly to your figures giving you both delicate pats on the shoulders. His eyes land on you, staring a bit longer than he should have. Studying your features, your cheekbones more visible, dark bags under your eyes, a paler complexion overall. Your head turned to meet his gaze. His focused face faltered into an awkward smile, not really knowing how to face you properly. Giving an awkward smile back, you gave him a small wave with your free hand.

_

The three of them eventually left you by yourself once again. Walking over to your room, you reach your bed and fall back onto the mattress. A long sigh left your lips, you moved to lay on your side to face the window. Gazing out, watching the wind blow through the plants, a small thought popped into your head. You said to yourself that you’d avoid using your Avatar but after hearing the news, maybe it was time to test it out. Kind of like a fuck it thought. Watching the outside world, eyes slowly closing shut, drowsiness finally catching up with you despite your pain. Your eyes opened once more, instead of your room being in your line of vision it was the forest. Looking around you were confused. It wasn’t until you finally breathed in, noticing that you didn’t have a mask. No pain was present either, just you and the forest completely healthy.

Taking small steps into the forest, admiring the plants all around you and the smaller animals. Minutes pass as you continue to appreciate the environment, before stumbling upon a small open area surrounded by the trees. A smaller tree that looked similar to a willow tree that used to be seen on Earth in the books you’ve read on Earth plants. It had beautiful green and brown colourations all over.  Slowly approaching the tree, you duck under the hanging leaves to reach the trunk of the tree. There was a soft patch of grass surrounding the base, you crouched down to sit comfortably against the wood. Relaxing your back as it made contact with the rough bark, hands wisping through the grass feeling the softness. You took a long breath in through your nose, closing your eyes as you exhaled. So this is what it felt like when I was younger.

Though you didn’t understand why you were here, you took the chance to soak up everything you can. Time passes as you stay in a peaceful state under the leaves. There was a sudden twinge in your chest, throat feeling dry. Next thing you knew you couldn’t breathe, gripping the grass in panic. Your eyes opened to find yourself in your room once more accompanied with a strong coughing fit. Hands grasping your sheets as you keep coughing. The last cough finally came out, liquid dripping down your chin. Sheets stained in splatters of bright red. Eyes moistening, hands releasing the sheets as your cheeks became wet. Crying for the second time today, it felt much worse this time. Frustration building up in your system as you wept, the urge to scream as if it would get rid of all your problems. And you did. The screaming led to you throwing your pillows across the room. Hitting objects, making things fall and clatter against the hard ground. You got up striding towards your small desk filled with info about plants. Grabbing them all with a tight fist, crumbling them in your grasp. You throw them all over the place, ripping a few as hot tears flushed your face. It felt long, in reality your breakdown lasted only a few short minutes. Sitting on the floor on your knees, chest rising up and down at a fast pace as you try to calm yourself. Dried up tears staining your cheeks, nose stuffy, dried blood on your lips and chin.

_

Early in the morning Norm went into the linking pod to start his day. He did his things in his Avatar form throughout the day. Went to the village to discuss some matters to Jake, came back to the lab area to finish any other chores. One thing he did notice though was three figures leaving the lab. He noticed Mo’at the most, not knowing why she came all the way here. It took him some time to realise what it may be about. He didn’t worry too much, especially seeing Kiri’s face which seemed to radiate happiness. Going on with his day, he couldn’t help but feel a hint of worry. Possible parent instincts? Who knew, but Norm just felt something was off. Another hour passed while the feeling was biting at him, he gave in and went to the Avatars tent to unlink. Unlinking, he lifted the pod lid, stretching his stiff limbs. Just as he steps out, he hears objects crashing in the direction of your room.

Norm ran towards your room, worried that something bad may have happened to you. Just as he reached your door, the clattering sounds went silent. Opening the door in a hurry, his eyes shifted all over. There were blood splatters on your bed and some on the floor. Papers and your belongings scattered everywhere. Some glass that had been shattered from a few of your things hitting each other. Eyes finally landing on the small figure on the cold floor. Face apathetic, dried blood staining your lower face, red eyes. Rushing to your body, not caring if your things were the way. Crouching down, grabbing your shoulders gently as he examines your face and body. A small sense of relief came as he noticed you weren’t hurt on the outside but extremely worried about the blood that came from inside. Without saying a word, he brought your body into his, embracing you into a warm hug. At times like these, you felt as if you were a child again. The hug made you breakdown once more, burying your face deeper into his chest. Norm had always felt like a parental figure to you. Him hugging you in times like these was something you really needed.

He continued keeping you in his hold, gently caressing the back of your head. Your crying never settled, tears constantly flowing down your face. All the years of pent up emotions, all coming out today. Norm couldn’t help but shed tears himself, seeing you in such a state made his heart hurt. An hour passed, both still stuck in the embrace. Sobs turned into sniffles and heavy breathing. Norm spoke in the softest tone he could.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

In return he got a head shake against his chest. His lips pursed while releasing a sigh. He rubs your back as he rests his head on top of yours.

“How about I get some food ready for you. Does that sound good? Get you cleaned up too?”

Feeling a light nod, he pulls away looking at your face. His expression is full of sombre as he looks at your fallen look. Helping you stand up, he assists you to the bathroom before leaving to cook some food.  You look into the mirror, a reflection of a person you don’t recognise. Tired eyes, sunken cheeks, pale skin, looking down to your hands, small cuts decorating them from the papers and glass. A quiet sigh left your body, slowly taking off your clothes and turning the shower on. Waiting for steam to be visible in the bathroom before touching the water. As the water cascaded down your body, the blood and tears were slowly disappearing. You sat down on the shower floor, letting the water hit against your skin, basking in the heat of the water. The steam made it a little hard to breathe but the steam was calming as well. The steam was like a safety blanket covering your frame. You lift your head to face the water, letting it gently hit your face. All you did was stay in the water, feeling too weak to use the products to fully clean yourself.

Minutes passed before you turned the shower off. Stepping out, the room filled with foggy steam. You grab the towel to wrap yourself in. Peeking out the door you see a pile of neatly folded clothes on the floor in front of the door. Norm must’ve finished the food and cleaned your room a bit. Grabbing the clothes, you take your time getting changed. You looked around your room, there were still bits and pieces on the ground but the majority had been put away. Dragging your feet to where Norm was, you see him patiently waiting for you to arrive. Your steps alerted him and he looked up to see you all cleaned up. He waves you over to sit and eat the bland looking eggs and toast on the plate. Feet pattering as you walk to the chair, pulling it out and taking a seat. You peer down at the plate, gently grasping the fork sitting beside it. Slowly eating the food in front of you, Norm had thoughts running through his head. He knew that your breakdown had something to do with your condition. The only thing that confused him was the look on Kiri’s face. If she was so happy after leaving then why were you acting the complete opposite. As you finished eating, Norm quickly gathered the plate and fork, putting them away in the sink before sitting back in front of you. His hand was gently placed on top of yours to show his support.

“I know earlier you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but I’m here to talk to, okay? Don’t hesitate to tell me anything.”

“I know…”

Finally talking, your voice hoarse and quiet from today's events. You both stand, Norm pulling you into another hug as he pats your head. The rest of the day you spent in bed, looking out the window. Taking pills ahead of time, the pain was at ease for now. It had started raining, the soothing taps against the glass slowly pulled you to sleep.

_

You had woken up to pain once more, but this time it didn’t bother you as much since you had a mission. Waking up earlier than Norm, you quietly wait for his presence so you could ask him a very important question. The nerves in your system couldn’t settle, overpowering the pain in your chest. Minutes passed before you heard footsteps nearing, turning your head you see a tired Norm. His eyes widened a bit as he saw you up and early.

“y/n? Whatcha doing up early? You’re usually not up at this time”

Unconsciously picking at your skin, you avert your eyes not ready for how he’ll react.

“I was uh, I was thinking it was time to take my… Avatar out…”

His brows furrowed but quickly changed into an excited expression. He strides towards your small figure, grabbing your shoulders gently and dragging you to the linking pods. Your first initial reaction was pure confusion, your face was all scrunched up. But then your eyes were wide open like saucers seeing the linking pods come into your view of vision. Norm turns you around to face you once more.

“Are you absolutely sure about this?”

Giving him a firm nod, he guides you to one of the pods. You watch as other people start getting things prepared, a few a little surprised at your sudden appearance in this room. Norm quickly set up one of the pods for you to lay in. As he was setting up he gave you some tips for when you end up linking to your Avatar. Seconds passed before Norm was dragging you again. He patted the open pod, you hopped on, swinging your legs up with you.

“Just remember to relax, and keep a clear mind.”

You give him a crooked smile as you nod your head briefly. Slowly lying down, Norm brought down the top, before closing it completely he gave you one last smile and thumbs up. As it closes, you close your eyes trying to make your mind go blank. In a second, your eyes opened once more, bright lights blinding you. Muffled sounds coming from around you. The first thing you really noticed was the lack of pain present. Adjusting to the light, you see scientists surrounding you. They were checking your hearing and your eyes. They asked if you were feeling okay, replying with a curt nod. Minutes passed as they continued to test your motor functions. All you could focus on was how light your entire body felt. For once your body feels relaxed and not tense 24/7. They gave you a change of clothes, a simple tank top and some shorts. Getting changed, you were beyond excited but also nauseous. It would be the first time going outside in forever. These thoughts completely made you forget about your other body.

You walked to the door that led to the outside world. Your hand reached for the latch but you hesitated. Worried that something bad would happen just like when you were younger. You took a deep breath in before exhaling from your nose. Gripping the handle, you open the door wide open. Bright lights blinded your eyes once more, but quickly adjusted just to see the vibrant outdoors. A wide smile graced your face, not believing that this moment finally came. Your eyes moved everywhere trying to take in the entire view. Then your eyes landed on an Avatar Norm who was walking towards you with some weird looking fruit in his hand. As he got closer he tossed you the fruit, catching off guard as you barely caught it.

You bite into the juicy fruit, a wave of new flavours hit you making you eat more of the fruit. Norm was chuckled at your reaction to the fruit. He pats your shoulder, tilting his head as he wants to show you more of the place. As you walk around, Norm shows you the different areas for the Avatars. The terrain was rough, especially when you opted out of shoes. You wanted the full experience of this body, something you weren’t able to do inside. Norm came to a full stop, making you bump into his back. You step back rubbing your nose, just as you were about to tell Norm off your voice got stuck in your throat. The forest was right in front of you. The vibrant green from the trees and plants once again in front of you after all these years. You couldn’t take your eyes off of the forest. Norm waved his hand by your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“Huh? What did you say?”

Norm only chuckled. “I was asking if you wanted to take a walk in the forest for old time sake?”

Your eyes glimmered in eagerness, quickly grabbing Norms arms dragging him in the dense forest. Not once did your eyes falter, a constant smile on your face to the point your cheeks were sore but that didn’t stop you. It felt like the exact moment you first went out 10 years ago. The flora looked even more beautiful than it did years ago, not to mention the softness from the grass and dirt connecting with your feet every step. Norm struggled to keep up with you. Jogging, trying to keep up with your quick steps.

“Wait up! You’re going way too fast, there was something I needed to show you.”

Your ears perk at Norms statement. He could only chuckle at your childish demeanour. He walks ahead of you, waving his hand to tell you to follow him. As you followed it felt like deja vu. Looking around in curiosity, spotting animals wandering the forest. Except this time you were much taller… and blue. Minutes passed, every minute of asking what it was Norm wanted to show you. He kept saying it was a surprise, which made you groan impatiently. As more time passed as you walked, another blue figure came into view, except they were wearing pieces of clothing extremely different from yours. Immediately you recognized them as an Omatikaya warrior. Your head quickly whipped around to face Norm. He could only give you a small smirk as he shrugged his shoulders. Your new tail whips back and forth in anticipation as you finally enter the village. The smile on your face widened even more, if that was even possible. Clan members looked at you with curiosity, normally they only see Norm come into the village but you were completely new. Everything felt so familiar to you, but there were many new additions in the village that had you interested. Walking a certain path, you knew where you were walking to… Jake’s family tent. The large tent looked exactly how it did all those years ago. You weren’t able to see Jake since the day you fell ill, this made you nervous to see him again. He was like an uncle to you. Reaching the front of the tent, Norm told you to wait as he entered. As you wait, you hear a small voice come from behind you.

“Excuse me? Who are you?”

You recognise that voice anywhere. You turn to face a certain someone.

“Tuk?”

Tuk looked a little puzzled for a moment, studying your features and hearing your voice. It clicked in her head. A gasped left your mouth and eyes big, she dropped her toy running towards you frame. She jumped in your arms as she shouted in glee.

“Y/N! Is that really you? You look like me!”

A hearty laugh came out, hugging her back as you spun her around.

“It is Tuk, it’s me!”

Just as you were spinning Tuk, Jake, Norm, and Neytiri came out. Jake thought Norm was lying about you being here, but that changed after seeing you interacting with his youngest daughter. Neytiri was just as shocked. She didn’t mind you as much as Spider. You heard them from behind you, you gently put Tuk down giving a greeting to both of them.

“Kaltxì, Jake, Neytiri”

Jake grinned walking over to you with open arms. Neytiri only watched with a small simile shaping her lips. Jake engulfed you in a big hug before pulling you back by your shoulders. He let out a small chuckle since you were now like him in a sense.

“Who knew, I actually get to see you in blue.”

You scoff jokingly as you punch his shoulder.

“That’s all you say after not seeing me in years? Well at least I can say that you look older grandpa”

He rolled his eyes before putting you in a headlock and giving you a noogie. Norm laughed at you being teased by Jake, Neytiri was chuckling softly watching the scene unfold. From a distance away, four bodies were walking closer. The three being the other sully kids and the last being Spider. They were conversing with each other, not noticing the figure in their father’s embrace. Neteyam looked away from them for a second before noticing an unfamiliar member near his father. It wasn’t until Jake saw them, waving at them to come over. The moment you turned around, Neteyam felt as if the world stopped for a second. He didn’t notice who you were until Kiri whispered your name in question. His head spun to face Kiri hearing your name spill from her lips, his face filled with shock but a good shock. Lo’ak swore under his breath, he finally got to see his friend outside except this time you're like him. Spider was the same, seeing you outside with a smile on your face made him happy. The three ran towards your figure, tackling you to the ground, hugging you tight and shouting with happiness.

Neteyam was still frozen in place. He was trying to process how you looked. You had beautiful markings covering your arm, legs, and face. Eyes, a vibrant yellow mixed with lines of green. Your small fangs peaking out as you shared smiles with his siblings. His ears and tail twitching unconsciously as he studied your new features. Jake had shouted at him to come over, quickly making him blink out of his daze. Light purple hues reached his cheeks when his father called him, not sure if he had caught him staring. Slowly approaching your figure that had been tackled to the ground. Watching as Tuk jumped into the pile as well, a small amused huff left his mouth. Kiri and Lo’ak finally got off you, pulling you up with them off the ground. The adults all watched with bright smiles on their faces before they started conversing with each other back in the tent. Neteyam finally joined you all, but he still felt a little awkward since you haven’t had the chance to talk to each other much. But he started staring at you again, drifting off into dreamland as you talked with Kiri. Lo’ak noticed the lack of speech coming from his brother, noticing that he was looking at you. He had a knowing smirk, elbowing Neteyam in the ribs which caused Neteyam to smack his arm.

Jake and Norm had come back out with soft smiles wanting to tell you something. You tilt your head in question as Norm lays a hand on your back. He looks at you for a second before returning his attention back to Jake. Jake spoke in a strong tone, but was also gentle.

“Would you like to learn our ways? I know you enjoy learning about everything and maybe you would like to experience it as well.”

Eyes blinking slowly a few times as you turn to Norm with a stricken expression. Both Norm and Jake let out lively laughs seeing your reaction. You let out a meek really? to Norm and he nodded briefly. Hands bursting in the air in celebration as you laugh in joy. Before you could run to hug Kiri and Lo’ak who were also excited about the news, Jake's voice stopped you.

“Neteyam will be the one to teach you everything you need to know”

Neteyam immediately whipped his head in the direction of his father. He quickly mentioned his training but Jake said that it would be okay. Neteyam was nervous to say the least, especially since it was you. As for your reaction, you didn’t know how to react so you just sent Neteyam a small smile. He quickly avoided your gaze, not sure how to feel about this situation. Your smile fell seeing how he looked away, concerned that you may have made him feel uncomfortable.

After everything had been set in place, Kiri and Lo’ak had taken you on a mini tour around the village. Showing you some new additions, the whole time your eyes were eager to see everything. As for Neteyam, he was trailing behind just like he did years ago when he was wary of you for the first time. For some reason, he couldn’t stop looking at you. Now that you looked like them, his interest in you peaked once more. It was interesting to him, how much your Avatar looked like you. Only difference between you and them is the lack of skills and knowledge of the people. He was kind of excited to be able to teach you but unsure at the same time. He still wasn’t sure how to talk with you, and it made it more difficult when he couldn’t speak English as well as his siblings.

They started walking into the forest after showing you around the village while Spider had gone back to the lab to do some chores that he promised Max. Both Lo’ak and Kiri were leading you to a specific spot that they said was special. You were breathing a bit heavily due to your Avatar not being used to all the fast movements. Your stamina definitely needed some improvement. Neteyam was still lagging behind, making sure everyone was in his view.  Tuk was jumping around, playing with some plants along the way. Lo’ak came to a stop causing you to crash into his back. You thought, why does this keep happening? You rub your nose once again, punching Lo’aks back for stopping.

“Why’d you stop”

He could roll his eyes as you punched your shoulder in return. That led to you slapping each other's arms and hands repeatedly. Which then led to Kiri slapping the back of your heads. Despite being older than the both of them, you finally got the chance to really feel childish. You and Lo’ak always had a sibling relationship, the one where you're always bickering and fighting each other but in a good way. Lo’ak blew a raspberry at you, you mocked him back before Kiri once again slapped the back of your heads. Neteyam could only laugh at his actions while Tuk tried joining in. Kiri finally spoke up.

“If you skxawngs are done fighting, y/n would’ve noticed where we are right now”

Your ears lifted, finally studying the area around you. It all looked familiar until something clicked. The small area, surrounded by the plants and trees, the small pond. This was where you guys officially met each other. It honestly all felt like a dream. You quickly remember a singular tree where you guys carved into it. Running over to the tree, you spot the carvings, your initials. The other four walked over, watching as you delicately traced over the initials. You turn to them with a downturn grin, reminiscing the old times. What caught your eye even more was the small plus between yours and Neteyams initials. Cheeks heating up for a second, remembering that younger you harboured feelings for the older sully brother. Although those feelings were from years ago, it was still buried deep within you. Neteyam noticed as well, ears turning purple. Lo’ak noticed once more, snickering at them both with how oblivious they were. Tuk then yelled that she was bored. As if your minds were the same, you, Kiri, and Lo’ak shared a look. Neteyam and Tuk were clueless to what you guys were thinking. Lo’ak ran to Neteyam, tapping his shoulder running off while yelling you’re it. He was completely caught off guard, watching as all of you scattered from his proximity. Even Tuk ran away screaming in excitement. It took him a minute to process what just happened before dashing off to grab you guys. He first went after Tuk, knowing she was going to be the easiest to catch. Only a minute later he grabbed her. Tuk pouted as he led her back to the pond before running off again to catch you guys. Since the three of you were hiding it took Neteyam a little while to find one of you. Finding Lo’ak first, they both went out on a full on sprint. Lo’ak desperately running for his life, not sure if he was laughing or screaming or both.

You could hear his screams in the distance, trying to muffle your chuckles from escaping your lips. The screaming stopped, but then screaming was heard again but this time from Kiri. You could hear her yell cuss words as Neteyam was closing in on her. It fell silent once more. You kept your breathing short and quiet, as you heard soft footsteps coming towards you. Hiding in a bush, you see legs appearing right in front of you which makes you hold your breath. Neteyam had a feeling you were somewhere near, standing still to hear any sudden movements. Right at that moment he heard a subtle crunch of leaves in front of him. He squats down swiftly, eyes meeting yours. You stood up fast and started running like a bunny being chased. Neteyam followed after you, a look of amusement and determination on his face. You were much faster than he expected you to be. You might’ve been faster than Lo’ak somehow and he was fast. Only disadvantage you had was your stamina. Running for a minute straight with Neteyam hot on your tail, you started slowing down due to being tired. Neteyam sped up jumping, tackling you to the ground. A small yelp sound coming from your mouth as you made contact with the ground.

You were huffing for air, not used to running so much. Breathing heavily as you meet the gaze of Neteyams eyes that look green in this lighting. Neteyam talked quietly.

“I caught you”

Exuberant laughter slipped out as Neteyam talked. You haven’t felt this alive in forever. Neteyam joining in your laughter finally loosening up around you. The laughter died down, both looking at each other, then realising that Neteyam was on top of you from tackling you. Both of you had purple hues surfacing on your cheeks as the both of you separated in a hurry. He let out a quick apology as both of you pat the dirt off yourselves. You wave him off saying that it was alright trying to cool your cheeks. The walk back was a little awkward, especially since you ran quite the distance from the pond. Walking side by side both of you spoke at the same time, quickly apologising to each other in flustered states. You talk first seeing that he we​nt silent once more.

“How um, how is training? I bet you’re busy a lot.”

Neteyam fiddled with his fingers behind his back as he gave you a small glance then returned his gaze to the ground.

“Yes, very busy. Training good but very tiring”

You smile softly hearing his broken english. Over the years you were kept inside, the Na’vi language was one of the main things you studied. You appreciated the effort Neteyam had when communicating with you. You jog forward just a bit, walking backwards in front of him.

“Plltxe na’vi” (speak na’vi)

He looked at you with a stunned expression. Feeling the awkwardness fading away as he started feeling more open to talk to you normally like old times. He gave you a toothy smile as his voice gave off a teasing tone.

“Ngeyä lì'upam hek nì'it mi” (Your pronunciation is a bit strange still)

A deadpan face took over your features as you rolled your eyes before it was replaced with an amused look.  Reaching the pond, you started skipping towards the three who were waiting for you guys. Neteyam watched as you skipped away, a content grin on his face. Lo’ak groaned as he spotted you and Neteyam coming out of the forest.

“Finally! You took forever, we were bored waiting on you.”

You stick your tongue out while pulling your lower eyelid down.

“Calm down, it was only a couple minutes. Plus I was getting chased.”

Looking back pointing to his brother who was trailing behind you. Kiri chuckled under her breath seeing you and Lo’ak banter with each other. Neteyam joined Kiri in laughing, happy that he finally rekindled his friendship with you although there were still ways to go. All of you talked for a while and played a few more rounds of tag before the eclipse. Travelling back to the village meeting up with Norm and Jake once more. They told you your Avatar body can stay within the village because of the training you’ll be starting early in the morning. With that, Jake guides you to a small tent for you to stay in. Hugging Norm one last time before you left for the lab knowing it's dangerous to be wandering around at night. Saying your goodnights to everyone, you settle in your tent, laying down comfortably on your mat. You didn’t want to close your eyes. If you did, you’d return to your dying body which you absolutely hated. But you knew it was for the best. Closing your eyes takes in deep breaths before your consciousness is returned to your original body. Immediately pain took over your body. You felt another coughing fit rising in your chest. Pushing open the pod as fast as you could, you fell out but ignoring those around you. Running to a bathroom nearby letting out your coughs over the sink. All the coughing made it difficult to get air in your system, struggling to breathe.

Blood. The crimson colour of the liquid staining the white sink and your white lab coat. Your body finally decided to stop your coughing leaving you heaving for air. You take steps back before your back hits the wall, sliding down as you make contact with the tiled floor. You were so happy and lively a minute ago, now you were in pain and coughing blood on the floor. Just as your body settled, knocking came from the door.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Max told me he saw you running in a rush after unlinking.”

You stayed quiet for a minute not really sure if you had the strength to talk. You heard him repeat your name one more time. Whispering, voice terribly hoarse and strained.

“I’m okay Norm… just another small coughing fit”

Hearing him sigh, you knew he knew that this wasn’t just a “small” fit.

“Do you want me to wait here for you?”

His voice was delicate, as if he was talking to a small fragile child. You could only let out a small no, not wanting Norm to see the state you were in right now. Norm could only rest his forehead on the door, worried for you. He let out a quiet okay, hesitating to walk away from the door. Hearing the steps fading your head falls back against the wall wishing that this could all just end.

_

It had been a couple days since your first linking to your Avatar. The first couple days of training was mostly building up your stamina which was also accompanied by Lo’ak much to Neteyams debate. But also every day after unlinking, the coughing became more frequent. Mo’at had given you some remedies to help slow down the process of your condition but it still didn’t help with the aching and discomfort. Today, you were slightly excited, you moved on from building stamina to using a weapon. Not only that, Lo’ak couldn’t join because Jake knew Lo’ak would distract the both of you. That made Lo’ak annoyed because he wanted to teach you too.

You and Neteyam were walking together to the practice range for the bow and arrows. The first time being alone since the first day of being in your Avatar. The walk was silent but this time it was rather a comfortable silence than an awkward one. Even though the time spent with him was also with Lo’ak, the both of you had gotten closer, only speaking Na’vi when you were with him. There were stolen glances from time to time and teasing nudges. Neteyam felt like he was more free when he was around you. Reaching the range, Neteyam grabbed a practice bow for you to use. He gently passed it into your hands as he grabbed his own bow. Your tail is swishing around in anticipation.

“Now, this is one of our main weapons we use for both hunting and fighting. I will teach you the proper stance and draw back. Also how to aim for your target. Maybe later this week if you improve, we can go hunting.”

You were nervous to say the least. Neteyam demonstrated first, having a strong stance. Arms pulled back as he drawed the arrow, focusing on the target in front of him. As he let go, the arrow swiftly flew through the air perfectly hitting the middle of the target. Your face said it all, completely captivated. He slowly brought his bow back down, turning to face you with a proud look on his face. He waves you over, finally your turn to attempt to shoot an arrow. He let you try by yourself first, and it went terribly. He studied your horrible posture and stance, the way your arms were weirdly positioned in the air. Lastly, how weak your core looked. When you released the arrow, it didn’t reach all the way to the target. You hiss in embarrassment as you look at the arrow on the ground. Neteyam tried to suppress his laugh as you failed miserably. You gave him a glare, shutting him up immediately.

He made his way over to you grinning from ear to ear. He stands beside you, showing you how to stand. You copied him, but you still had some flaws in your stance. So he took on the more physical approach but looked for you permission first. Giving him a firm nod, he started with your arms. His hands caressed them gently as he positioned them in the proper angle as you drew the arrow back. His light touches had your cheeks heating up and your stomach churning. He then went to fix your legs, tapping them to give you a wider stance and making sure your feet are facing the proper directions. You still weren’t able to control your tail very well, so it was wagging in nervousness. When he got your stomach, your breath had hitched ever so slightly. He was too distracted with giving you the perfect stance to notice your nervous frame. His fingers brushed over your stomach as he said to tighten your core and to stand tall. He stepped back to see his work and gave a content nod to himself. He gave you the thumbs up to shoot, but you were still trying to cool down from his light touches. Your arms faltered a bit before shooting so he stopped you quickly. You turn your head to look at him, he is standing right in front of you. He adjusted your arms once more but stayed in close proximity to you to make sure you stayed standing in the stance. You couldn’t help but stare at him, he looked ethereal in the warm light of the sun. Neteyam distracted again trying to help with your aiming but then also met your eyes. Both of you had heat rising to your cheeks as both of you were entranced in each other's glimmering eyes. Neteyam was first to break the contact, quickly speaking with a soft tone to tell you to release the arrow.

From a distance, Jake wanted to check in just to see how you were doing. He stopped his steps seeing his oldest son guiding you. He felt deja vu wash over him seeing the scene. Remembering when Neytiri was the one guiding him for the first time. He saw the way both of you looked at each other. A smile reached his lips, chuckling softly seeing his son so relaxed in your presence. He watched as you shouted with joy after hitting the target and his son joining in with the cheering. Jake thought it was best not to interrupt the special moment the both of you were sharing.

_

Weeks passed. Each day that passes the weaker you feel. You were definitely improving a lot with your Avatar but your other body was the only thing that was dragging it down. There were times the pain got so great that there was physical pressure you felt through your Avatar. Those times you had to unlink to calm your real body down. Not only that, the blood and coughing situation had gotten extremely worse. You coughed up blood at least 2-3 times a day, the pain increasing each time. It hurt to talk and to eat, this led to you being malnourished. Norm had fought with you to eat and take better care of your body. Everytime the argument starts, it ends with you breaking down and Norm losing the fight. Your real body didn’t feel real anymore. Guilt also filled your system, every passing day that was spent with Neteyam only made your feelings for him grow. The past days you and Neteyam shared deep conversations and shared gentle touches. Lo’ak and Kiri can see how you guys looked at each other and constantly teased Neteyam about it. Even Neytiri saw how her son looked at you, vise versa. Although you were an Avatar, Neytiri had accepted you as a clan member which was huge.

When you woke up today, you felt worse than normal. Instead of looking into it, you ignored it, taking it as your normal pain. You quickly take the herbal medicine Mo’at had given you and trudged to the linking room. Halfway there you felt faint, using the wall as a support but you still proceeded to the linking pods. Norm had noticed your figure slowly approaching the room. He was extremely worried for your well being. He even tried to force you to eat but you kept refusing. There wasn’t much he could do at this point but to just let you do what you wanted.

You reached the pod, struggling to open it with your weak arms. Your arms shook as you lifted yourself up to lay down in the pod. Closing the lid, you took in a shaky breath as you transferred your consciousness to your Avatar. Waking up in your tent, you saw Neteyam patiently waiting outside for you. A smile made its way to your lips as you quietly walked up behind him. Just before you could scare him, he turned rapidly while shouting. That scared the shit out of you. Your mouth agape with a stunned expression. Neteyam burst out laughing, tears collecting on his waterline. You jokingly pushed him.

“NETEYAM! How’d you know I was coming up behind you?”

He tried calming down from his laughing fit, taking in deep breaths.

“You aren’t exactly the best at sneaking up on something quite yet. I could probably hear you footsteps from a mile away”

You could only laugh with him as both of you continued nudging each other. Neteyam looked at you, admiring your laugh and your smile. You noticed his silence, meeting his gaze. You looked to the ground with purple hues appearing on your cheeks. His smile widened seeing your reaction. An idea popped in his head.

“Shall we take a walk instead of training today?”

Your head perked up in interest, giving him a shy nod. You both made your ways to the village border. Taking steps into the forest, the sunlight making lines through the pants. Conversations flowed smoothly between you two, hands brushing against each other as you walked. The direction Neteyam took you was relatively new to you. But then again the forest was huge and anywhere would be new to you. Sharing laughs and teasing punches, you felt like you were on cloud nine. Just as you passed another clearing, something caught your attention in the corner of your eye. It was a tree that resembled the one in your dream. Your sudden stop made Neteyam tilt his head at you. He followed your gaze landing on the small tree in the middle of the clearing. He watched as you walked towards the tree, your face seemingly confused. You were confused about how this tree was the exact one from your dream. But seeing it in person, it was even more magnificent. A scoff of joy as you delicately touch the leaves.

Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. In his eyes you looked so spiritual when you looked at the tree with such care. He stepped into the clearing, approaching you with a soft smile. You tilt your head toward the ground as you sit under the tree. Patting the spot next to you, Neteyam crouched down taking the spot. Calming silence took over, enjoying each other's company. You were busy studying the environment around you, eventually resting your head on Neteyams shoulder. This made Neteyams body tense up, not used to this type of contact. He glanced down seeing you fiddle with the fallen leaves and the grass. Relaxing his shoulders, he hesitated for a second before resting his head on top of yours. Even taking another step forward by wrapping his tail around your waist. Both of you found solace with each other.

An hour passed like it was nothing. Neteyam felt like he was dreaming. Normally he didn’t focus much on other females in the clan but you were special to him. Your head was now resting on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heart beats. His chest hummed as he spoke with a gentle tone.

“I am glad that I got to train you instead of someone else”

He felt your cheeks rising, which made him smile too. But what he said next had you pause.

“How are my grandmother's remedies? I never got the chance to ask you about your healing.”

You stilled, ears folding down as guilt washed over you. You separate yourself from Neteyam as you look down ashamed. Neteyam tilts his head wondering why you looked so down. He grabbed your hands pulling them into his lap.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

You gripped his hands gently, finally looking up with a pained smile on your face.

“No no, you didn’t say anything bad…”

He brought one of his hands up to your cheek, delicately caressing it.

“What is wrong then?”

Your eyes moistened, breathing becoming uneven. Your voice was quiet and vulnerable.

“I… I lied to you Neteyam”

His face furrowed, confusion overtaking his emotions. He moved to sit right in front of you, hand still on your cheek.  

“What do you mean?”

You grab his wrist, bringing it down from your cheek. The tears heavily gather in your eyes, voice shaky, nervous about how he would react. You weren’t sure if you should lie again. Opting to tell the truth you avoid his gaze as you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m not healing Neteyam…”

Neteyam froze in place. There was a ringing in his ears that wouldn’t go away. His eyes studied your face to see if you were joking or not but you weren’t. He removed his hand from your grip. The way he looked at you shattered your heart. Neteyam wasn’t sure if he should yell or not talk at all. Instead he whispered under his breath.

“Why”

You tried grabbing his hands again but he avoided your touch. You were stumbling over your words as you tried saying that it was for the best but this made Neteyam even more angry.

“WHY!”

His yelling made you flinch. You were speechless, never have you seen Neteyam act like this. Tears were now freely falling down your cheeks as you tried explaining but it was hard to to get words out from your hard breathing. He felt betrayed, betrayed that you would do this to yourself and him. Betrayed that you would even lie to everyone in his family, especially Kiri. You desperately tried to explain, but the words coming out weren’t good enough for him. He stood up, a dark expression overshadowing his face.

“Neteyam please, lying to you was the only choice I had”

His nose flared. “What about the choice of just telling me at the very start? THAT WAS A CHOICE! We could’ve worked through this together! Instead you chose to hide like a coward and hide the pain. You are selfish, just like all the other Skypeople.”

Neteyam’s voice was strained, not wanting to talk more as tears were now threatening his eyes. But his anger was too much, more words just spilled out.

“You bring shame to the clan and to me. To think that I was falling for you. You will always be an evil skyperson at heart.”

His words cut you and it stung terribly. You tried reaching out, but in return he stepped back. Your chest burned in dejection. You knew you were in the wrong but it was too late. Your body entered a panic mode, your breathing turned to wheezing. Every breath felt like fire in your lungs. Neteyam still stood in front of you, upset and depressed from your lie.

“Neteyam please, please don’t leave it like this”

You stood up taking small steps towards him. But every step you took forward, he stepped back. The next step you took, your body went limp. Eyes closing as your body hits the ground. Neteyams eyes widened in shock. All his anger dispersed, replaced with shock and worry. He got onto his knees immediately, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you.

“Y/n? Y/n? Hey wake up, you can’t just pass out like that.”

He lightly tapped your face, trying to wake you up.

“Stop joking around y/n”

He started to panic. Salty liquid running down his face as you weren’t waking up. Neteyam picked up, carrying you in bridal style. He ran through the forest in a hurry, yelling as he saw the village in his line of blurry vision. The yelling caught Jake's attention, his eyes found Neteyam running with your body in his grasp. Jake ran in Neteyams direction seeing that you were unconscious. Reaching Neteyam, he saw that he had tears running down his face.

“What happened?” Jake's voice stern but filled with concern.

“We-we were arguing but then she uh she suddenly collapsed. I’m so sorry it was my fault sir.”

Neteyam was sobbing uncontrollably as he got out his choked up words. This made something click in Jake's head. You must’ve been unlinked for some reason. He ushers Neteyam to the healing tent. Telling him to place your body down on one of the mats. Mo’at saw this and once she saw your body she knew. She got to work right away making sure your Avatar body didn’t sustain any injuries. Jake told Neteyam to follow him as Mo’at worked on your Avatar body.

Entering the family tent, Kiri was the only one there. She was caught off guard seeing both Neteyam and Jake in distress. Jake had gathered some things to bring with him before setting off to the lab. Kiri tried asking what was going on but both of them left in a hurry. Running through the dense forest, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He remembered what he had said to you and regrets it deeply.

_

When you collapsed, it turned out that Norm was the one to unlink you. The panic attack you had with your Avatar had a large effect on your actual body. Your vitals were spiking as you started to cough up a dangerous amount of blood. The coughing did not slow down until you fell unconscious. Opening the pod, Norm was met with a scene that made his blood run cold. Your unconscious body, blood covering your lower jaw and the top of your shirt. He picked you up, yelling to everyone to get a bed set up with ivs and medicine prepared.

As machines were being attached to your body, a door slammed open to reveal Jake and Neteyam. Norm raced to Jake, pulling him to talk about what the hell happened. Norm was in such a distressed state that Jake had to calm him down. Neteyam stood only still, seeing your body in the white bed. His eyes trailed the machines that were hooked up onto your body. What had him shakened up the most was how sick you look. The last time he saw your human body you were pale and thin but seeing it again, it was like it doubled. Your top was stained in your blood, you were so pale that he could see your veins so clearly. Not only that, your face was so sunken, and your arms so small that it could snap in half if you weren’t careful. He fell to his knees, tears gathering in his eyes again. His knees shifted closer to your body, carefully touching your hand that was hanging off the edge. A hand covering his mouth suppressing his cries as he watches your chest rise up and down slowly.

Norm and Jake were discussing the possibilities. They were interrupted by Neteyams appearance. Jake saw how red his son's eyes were, he pulled him into a tight hug knowing his relationship with you. The hug stopped short when Neteyam mumbled something about you. He pulled away asking Neteyam what he said. He replied in a quavering voice that you were dying. Norms' eyes widened, followed by asking Neteyam what he meant by that.

“She told me that she lied. Lied about grandmother having a cure for her…disease”

The last word coming out strained. Norm fell back into a chair behind him as Jake was trying to process the new information.

_

Days passed, you were still unconscious. Neteyam never left your side, he slept and watched over you every second of the passing days. His family grew worried as he started neglecting his own health. Neytiri understood Neteyam the most. She knew how much he cherished you just as much as she cherished Jake. Tuk was held back at home, Jake didn’t want his youngest daughter seeing your current state. But he couldn’t hold back Kiri and Lo’ak. When they saw your unconscious figure, Lo’ak went numb as Kiri cried. Spider was absolutely devastated when he heard you collapsed. Although you both didn’t hang out as much since the start of your training, he loved you so much as an older sister. Three times a day, one of them dropped food off for Neteyam as he never left the lab. Most of the time he didn’t touch the food and just left it to go cold. Every night he whispers his regrets and sheds warm tears hoping that you would just wake up.

On a certain day, he finally went outside but went directly to the tree of voices. Making tsaheylu, he asked for Eywas help. Wishing to help you recover and for you to wake up. He stayed at the tree for hours, repeating his wishes to Eywa. When he thought that it was enough, he sighed as he stood up and walked away from the tree of voices. As he walked back to the lab, he saw Kiri, Lo’ak and Spider waiting outside. He gave them a look of question. Lo’ak spoke up saying that you had woken up. He made a beeline to the door until Kiri stopped him. She told him that grandmother told them to wait as she examined you. He huffed in frustration, wanting to see you now but knew better than to go against his grandmother's wishes. Minutes passed as Neteyam grew more impatient. But once he heard the door creak open he whipped his head to see what it was. Mo’at stepped out with Jake, giving the children a nod to go on in. Neteyam strides past them both, needing to see you.

His breath hitched seeing you awake and smiling at his appearance.

“Hey”

Your voice was raspy and low. Giving all your strength to give him a bright smile. Neteyam broke down as he ran to you, basically jumping in your arms. A yelp left your mouth as he embraced you tight. His tears soaked your shirt, you rubbed his back trying to comfort him.

“I dont think it’s a good idea to be crushing a sick person”

His eyes shot open, quickly getting off you. He wipes his tears as he apologises. You could only give him a teasing smile. But that smile fell as you needed to discuss something serious with Neteyam. You weakly grab his hands, making him look at you.

“Neteyam, there’s something we have to talk about.”

Telling by your tone, he knew it was going to be serious. You continued talking, as you were talking it was as if Neteyam had gone deaf. The words leaving your mouth had him shocked.

“... I asked Mo’at for a consciousness transfer.”

“No”

His voice is serious and deep. Your grip tightened on his hand.

“Neteyam, this is the only way for me to live longer.”

“no , it’s too risky. I can’t let you go through with this.”

You sat up, fully facing him.

“I understand the risks but I'm dying Neteyam and it's not going to change. This is the best I can do.”

“If it doesn’t work then you will die”

“I’m dying either way Neteyam and it’s a risk I'm willing to take” Tears are now building up in your eyes. “Mo’at already approved of the idea, I’m not going to back out now”

He felt the anger come back into his system. Instead of saying a word to you, he stormed out of the lab radiating with displeasure. You tried yelling for him, but your voice was too weak and strained. Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak watched as he slammed the door open witnessing his heated demeanour. They gave each other looks trying to figure out what had happened. Lo’ak got up to go after Neteyam while Kiri and Spider went inside to see you. Kiri saw you curled up in a ball, crying. She rushed over to you, bringing you into an embrace. Spider only felt upset, seeing you cry made him rush after Neteyam. Kiri tried calming you down, her heart hurt for you seeing you in so much pain. She waited till your breathing slowed so she could ask what had happened. You had told her in short breaths about your consciousness transfer and how it led Neteyam to disagree with you. Kiri knew the risks of this but she knew you would rather risk it than continue living in pain until you eventually passed. She rubbed your back, hoping Lo’ak could change Neteyams mind about the whole thing.

Lo’ak had finally caught up to his brother, grabbing his arm to turn him around. Neteyam ripped his grip off his arm. Lo’ak stared at him in puzzlement.

“What the hell are you so mad about?”

Those words made Neteyam feel worse, pushing Lo’ak back not wanting to talk to anyone. Lo’ak tried grabbing him again since he kept turning away from him. Which led to him being shoved even harder. Neteyams tone was low and hoarse.

“Back off.”

Lo’ak decided to push back, annoyed at his brother. This set Neteyam off. Pushing Lo’ak to the ground yelling in his face.

“I said BACK OFF.”

“THEN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” He got off the ground, shoving his face in his, irritation moulding his features. Neteyam stayed silent for a moment, whispering under his breath.

“Y/n is going to do a consciousness transfer…”

Lo’ak wasn’t surprised. His lack of reaction made Neteyam confused. Why isn’t he mad? Why does he look like he already knew? In fact Lo’ak knew a day like this would come. You and him had a conversation about the transfer, and he reacted a bit like Neteyam when you first brought it up. The only difference was that he didn’t know about the lie until now. But he came to terms with the idea because he wanted you to have a better life. He saw how happy you were when you were in the forest, with the people. After hearing about you lying about being healed, that only made him want you to do the transfer more. He didn’t want you to be in pain for the rest of the time you have left. He knew Neteyam felt that way too but he was in a stage of denial and Lo’ak could see that. You were right, if you were dying either way, Lo’ak rather it be through the eye of Eywa. Passing without having to deal with pain or continue living in pain. And if the transfer worked, you could finally live the life you deserved.

“I know”

Those words leaving Lo’aks lips had Neteyam baffled. His face scrunched up coming closer to Lo’ak, asking what he meant by “he knew '' in a threatening tone. Lo’ak told him that he had a hunch ever since you first talked to him about the possibility of a transfer. You had even told him to not mention it to anyone else. Neteyam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He ignored Lo’aks yelling as he ran away, wanting to be alone. Spider finally caught up to Lo’ak but he didn’t see Neteyam.

_

Two days passed since you revealed your wish to do the transfer. Neteyam never came by once since then and you were disheartened by that. Kiri and Lo’ak would be the only ones that came by and even Jake. They kept saying that Neteyam refused to leave the tent when you asked if he was coming. You were also growing weaker as more time passed after you woke up. Your coughing was still harsh but not as bad as the one that made you go unconscious. That was what you thought at least but Kiri thought it was all the same and it severely concerned her. The only thing you were concerned about was Neteyam. Today no one was here and it was just you. The transfer was to be done tomorrow but you had an itch. The urge to step outside in your current body.

You slip off the bed, holding on to the rails for support as your legs are weak. Walking weakly to your room to grab fresh clothes. You sat on your bed and took a minute to yourself to just study around you. Hand gently touch your blanket and drag it across. Eyes moving to your desk, spotting a picture with your and the others when you were younger. You remember how Norm had trouble taking the picture due you guys running around constantly. A faint smile made its way to your lips, but faded away because this may be your last time ever seeing it. The pain in your chest grew too great and you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer. You thought that you came into terms with death but in reality, you hoped that the transfer would work. You were just a scared kid who went through too much at a young age. Your eyes moistened at the possibility of not seeing anyone anymore. Norm, Kiri, Lo’ak, Spider, Tuk, Jake, even Neytiri. Neytiri had grown quite fond of you over the time you were training with Neteyam. The one person you would miss most of all is Neteyam but now he wasn’t even speaking with you or wanting to see you. Tears streaming down your eyes as you bring the picture close to your chest. Holding it tight not wanting it to disappear from your sight.

You eventually stood back up with the picture still in your hands. Wobbly walking over to the door, grabbing a mask. You look down at the mask, bringing it up to your face and securing it around your head. Your body was tired but you had to go outside. Pushing the door open, warm air floods through the door. You admire the scenery before you, never getting used to the forest's beauty. Your breaths were short, mind hazy and skin feeling tingling. Walking with a calm demeanour towards the forest. The other Avatars looked at you with odd looks as you passed them. It seemed like you alerted them, one of them running to get in contact with Norm. Your steps grew faster as you got closer to the lush trees. The others yelled and ran to get you back but they immediately lost you as your body disappeared in their view once you entered the forest. Your bare feet dig into the dirt with every step you take forward. The sun glimmered through the leaves and plants. Eyes fluttering closed every now and then wanting to memorise the flora and animals you see.

Your body wandered the forest for minutes before you stumbled upon the same tree. Standing in place as you just stare at the tree. Recalling what happened the last time you were here. A frown made its place on your face, the place where you and Neteyam fought. But also the place where you found peace within each other. Taking a hesitant step into the clearing, feet connecting with the soft grass. Hands reaching for the leaves that hang down from the willow like tree. Its leaves were turning orange and yellow. In ways it was similar to you, wilting away as time closed in. Taking a seat under the dying tree, legs laid out flat, picture laying in your lap. A deep breath entering your lungs, it started to ache but you were used to it. All you did was sit and stare at the nature around you. Neither did you realise the liquid dripping down your cheeks. Your breathing shallowed, the hazy feeling taking over your senses. Eyes drifting off into darkness as the grip on the picture loosened.

_

Everyone was in a panic. When Norm got the alert of you leaving the lab and just disappearing he jumped yelling for Jake who was nearby. Norm ran to the tent, Jake stood up quickly seeing the distress on his friend's face.

“She’s gone, she disappeared into the forest”

Those words caught Neteyams attention as he was hiding away in the corner of the tent. Disappeared? In your human body? Jake called a search party, shouting to search the forest for a small female human. Neteyam remembered the last time you were out in your human body, the reason you had caught this horrid disease. He got up swiftly, grabbing his knife in case anything went wrong. His body was in both panic and hunting mode. Lo’ak, Spider and Kiri quickly join in the search, scared for their friend.

Running through the forest, they searched relentlessly for you but time passed and they grew more anxious. Neteyam had this gnawing feeling, regretting not seeing you for two whole days. He knew your body wasn’t adaptive to the pandora atmosphere and every passing minute felt like a needle was stabbing his chest. He was upset with you, yes but he held you dearly to his heart. If he thought the last time he saw you was during the fight you guys had, he would never forgive himself. Even thinking about that made tears well in his eyes as he was searching for you desperately. But as he was running, a specific place popped into his head. The tree. The one place that you and him shared, the place you both shared the most intimate moment but also a bad moment. He dug his feet in the ground, forcing him to stop and turn directions. Racing towards the area where you might be, hoping you would be there. His heart was beating like crazy as he got closer. Bursting through the plants, his eyes landed on your small figure laying against the tree. A feeling of relief washed over him but quickly disappeared seeing your eyes closed. He ran to your body, kneeling down and putting his ear against your chest. He released the breath he was holding after hearing your heart beating. The only thing he was concerned about was how little your chest was rising.

Quickly picking you up in his arms, dropping the picture in your lap in the process. The glass from the frame shattered on the grass as Neteyam ran back to the village. The leaves from the tree, wilting faster and falling onto the ground. Reaching the village, he started yelling to grab his father's attention. Jake spotted him with your small frame in his arms. He took you out of his arms, running to Mo’at. Mo’at rushed them to put you on one of the mats. Neteyam was breathing heavily, tears were now flowing down his face seeing you not wake up. He kept asking if you would be okay but Mo’at ignored him, focusing on your body. Jake went out to call back the search party, making Kiri and Lo’ak rush in seeing your frail body not awake. Spider made it back too and fell to his knees seeing your unconscious state. Jake and Norm pacing outside while Neytiri was comforting the crying Tuk. Mo’at stood up abruptly facing everyone.

“We must get her to the Spirit tree at once”

Neteyam's eyes widened, would the fight be the last thing you guys shared? Jake told Neteyam to grab your body as he went to grab your Avatar. Neytiri went to gather the clan to the Spirit tree instantly. Kiri and Lo’ak helped Mo’at and their mother as both Jake, Neteyam, and Norm raced to the tree. Neteyam's tears never stopped, he was torn and hurt that this could be the last time he would ever see you. The glowing tree was seen from a distance, legs carrying him faster. Clans members catching up to them, gathering around the tree. Neteyam gently placed your body under the tree, supporting your head before gently removing his hand. He looked at your face, you looked so calm. His eyes widened as he saw your eyes twitch. His eyes were the first thing you saw as you opened your eyes. His eyes were beautiful, a green shade in this lighting. It was like looking at an angel. His tears dropped on to your mask as you brought your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his hand going over yours.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

His sobs made you tear up as he kept apologising over and over again. You kept forgiving him over and over, trying to reassure him that it was okay but it didn’t stop him. The family gave them a bit of time as they still waited for the rest of the clan to gather at the tree. Neytiri and Jake saw so many similarities with them and you guys. The way you caressed his son's face brought memories back to when the war was finally over.

You kept trying to reassure him but he didn’t listen. Your gentle smile graced your lips as both your hands weakly grabbed his hands for him to stop. One hand went up to wipe his tears away as he gently gripped your hands tighter.

“There’s no need to cry”

He shook his head, “no, everything is my fault. I never should have ran away. It was immature of me to not talk about it. You only wanted what was best for all of us. Instead I got mad and left you alone.”

Your lips pursed as you brought your hand down to lay on top of his.

“It wasn’t your fault. You had every right to be mad. Although when you left it hurt me, I don’t want our last conversation to be fighting. I-”

A stinging sensation entered your lungs. Coughing erupted from your mouth but this time there was no blood. The lack of blood shocked Neteyam, not sure if that was a bad sign. Before he could get up to grab Mo’at your hand stopped him. You shook your head at him, telling him not yet. He kneeled back down with concern washing over his tight features. You caress his face as you let out shaky words.

“Neteyam, there is something important I have to tell you before the transfer starts. Ever since we were children I was always the closest to you. You somehow took my heart away from a young age. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you but after the long years apart it was buried. But more recently those feelings resurfaced and grew stronger the longer I spent my time with you. The way you talk, laugh, and just exist makes my body feel so light. Your eyes are one of the most beautiful features I love about you. The way it can look different in different lights. The green shades are especially my favourite. They remind me of the forest of Pandora, and all the flora around it. Seeing you everyday was the highlight of my days, and training with our teasing banter was one of the best highlights. I seriously love you Neteyam, for the longest time I've loved you. Nga yawne lu oer ma tìyawn. Oel ngati kameie.”

Tears streamed down his face even more from those last few words. He brought your hands into his chest as he let out quiet words of his own.

“Nga yawne lu oer ma yawntutsyìp fìtxan nìtxan. Oel ngati kameie.”

Both of you shed tears together. His forehead leaning on to your mask. Once he pulled back, the expression on your face was sad once more.

“When this ceremony starts, please be prepared for the worst. There is a chance I will not make it back through the eye of Eywa. But I love you so much, please remember that. I will always be with you no matter where I am.”

This only made him cry harder but he nodded faintly as he understands the risks of this transfer. You told him to prepare for the worse but he knew he would never be fully prepared. But he stayed strong for you. Mo’at taps his shoulder indicating that everyone is here and the ceremony will have to start. He didn’t let go of your hand until he fully stood up, giving you one last look before sitting beside his siblings. Mo’at started the chant as the rest of the clan slowly joined. You close your eyes letting yourself fall still. The ground pulsing with its bioluminescent light in rhythmic beats with the clan. The roots make their way to the back of your neck along with your Avatar. A white tunnel taking over your vision. Minutes passed as the chant was still going strong. The family hopes only good results will come after the transfers end. Neteyam begging Eywa to give you a second life. Mo’at then went silent causing everyone else to go silent as well. Neteyam got up in a hurry to your body. His heart stopped seeing only your human body twitching. It didn’t work. He carefully took the mask off your face, a smile present on your lips as you talked softly.

“I saw her Neteyam. Beautiful.”

Your mouth opened once more but the lights in your eyes faded before you could talk once more. The last you saw was his deep green eyes. The pain fled your body, becoming relaxed as you took your last breath. Jake could only watch as it felt like Grace's death all over again. Neteyam sat there, numbness overtook his emotions. The sounds of Kiri and Tuks' cries sounded muffled. There was a ringing sound travelling through his ears. His hands were holding on to your cold ones as he stared into your blank eyes. Wet tears slipped out from his eyes, collecting on the tip of his chin. The droplets falling on to your cheeks. Neytiri bent down, bringing his head into her shoulder. Louds sobs broke out, burying his face deeper into his mothers embrace.

_

Your body was washed and decorated with traditional Na’vi clothing. Your Avatar has the same done to it. Neteyam had been numb ever since his breakdown in his mothers arms. He took off his armband, wrapping it around your upper arm. He brought everyone to the willow tree. Making a hole at the base, dropping flowers to make a bed. Kiri had braided a single braid with her beads, Lo’ak tied your hair with one of his bands. Tuk laid a wooden sun that you carved for her a while back. They placed your fragile body onto the bed of flowers. Placing your Avatar right beside you. An atokirina' laying in Neteyam’s hand as you let it flow down onto your body. The clan surrounds the tree, singing and chanting for the fallen member. Neteyam could only look down to your peaceful face as the singing in the background drowned his sorrows.

_

As days passed, he would come back to the tree and sit under it. He retrieved the fallen picture that he found before digging the hole. The picture broke his heart all over again. When weeks passed, the tree found life once more. It felt as if you were there with him whenever he visited the tree with the picture in hand. He would always shed tears but today he smiled as he looked at the flourishing tree. He set his forehead against the bark as he whispered.

“Oe nga lomtu ma yawntutsyìp” (I miss you darling)

[some-pers0n]

Restless Nights

Fandom: WoF

Characters: Qibli, Winter

CW: Mentions of night terrors, trauma, etc

Summary: Qibli's having troubles falling asleep, kept up by the Bad Thoughts again. Yet, through it all, he hears someone nearby shuffling through papers.

Word Count: 1.0k

A/N: Oh SHOOT it's almost the end of gay month- TAKE THIS!! I'm not typically a Qinter writer. I've ranted before about how I don't quite care for the main fandom interpretation and how I prefer Turtbli, but eh,,,sometimes you just gotta write it.

Qibli tossed and turned, unable to fall back asleep. It was one of those nights again. You know the type. The ones where you flip and flop from one side to the other without rest. The ones where you try counting sheep only to get distracted after the first hundred or so. The ones where unwanted thoughts and ideas pester you nonstop. You know they aren't true, but, hey, it's nighttime and everything's possible; including believing that everyone hates you and can't stand the persona you've built.

So, yeah. Great. Just terrific. Lovely night as always. Wouldn't be him if he didn't constantly worry that his closest friends despised him. He rolled over once more, dwelling away in his thoughts.

However, as he did so, the still darkness wavered for a moment. First, some rustling. Then, a tiny scraping sound. At last, light. Despite his eyelids blocking most of it out, he could see a tiny orange flare flickering away.

Obviously, he became curious. There was something happening right in front of him. He'd be an idiot to not at least look. That's what he's been taught to do since he crawled out of the egg: sleep with both eyes half-open just in case somebody's decided to put a hit on you.

He squinted. His eyes were adjusted to the pitch-black room that was his sleeping quarters. On the other side he saw something quite odd.

Winter was there. He was laying on his bed of embroidered cushions and silky blankets, several scrolls sprawled out. An inkwell rested nearby, which he dipped an icy blue claw into and began to write on one such scroll. A couple tall wax candles were dotted around him, their wicks just recently lit.

"What are you doing?..." Qibli asked, his voice hoarse and groggy.

Winter's head shot up. "Nothing!" he hissed, quickly grabbing the scrolls and shoving them under the pillows.

"Oh, nothing? I couldn't tell you were doing nothing. Sure looks like you were doing something, but I guess writing on scrollpaper at...moons above, what time is it right now?"

"Late," Winter said, "the moons are at their peak. Besides, what does it matter what I'm doing?"

"C'mon, don't be a pain in the tail here. I've...actually got a bit of a headache here," he half-lied.

The corners of Winter's mouth tightened as his eyebrows furrowed. "I see. I don't think sitting there and talking is really going to help with that though. It only makes you and I more stressed. Hows about you try- oh I don't know- going to bed?"

"No can do, frost-face," he lightly teased. "I can't really sleep right now."

"What? Why?"

"Just can't. It's one of those nights again."

A look of familiarity stretched across Winter's face. He let out an exhale. "Right. Of course. Sometimes I forget you get like that too."

"Even after our big talk like a month ago?"

"My mind wasn't concerned with you at all. I have other things to worry about."

"So you care more about 'doing nothing' than about me right now?"

"That's not what-" He took a small breath. "If you're looking for sympathy right now, you're not going to get it by teasing me."

"Sorry! You're just an easy target," Qibli snickered, but surely enough the guilt settled back in. "But... You know what, never mind. Sorry about that. Shouldn't've been a jerk like that."

Winter tilted his head. "Is it really that bad enough for you to admit that your wrong?"

"No, I just..." Qibli rubbed his face. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing work."

"What kind of work?"

"Is it any of your business?"

"I just wanna know what it is. I kinda like hearing you talk. Gives me something else to listen to."

Winter stared blankly for a moment, eventually breaking the eye contact. "It's a personal project. It involves scavengers."

"Scavengers? You're still into them?"

"You thought I wasn't?" he scoffed. "I'll have you know that I'm planning something with the council in Sanctuary. A little plan that'll perhaps help in letting dragons come to realize that these aren't mindless pests." Winter's voice got more intense at the tail-end of that sentence.

"Didn't know you were that passionate about them. That's cool! Much better thing to like than...I dunno, nothing." He slipped out of his little alcove. "You mind if I sit next to you?"

"Uhh," he stammered. "I suppose. Just don't muddy up anything or I'll slit your throat."

"Heartwarming." Qibli plopped himself right next to him. "What sort of stuff are you planning? You've been gone from Jade Mountain for a while. I'd assume it's for something big."

"You could say as much. It's a program that'll go on for a couple months at a school we're building there. Animal studies and whatnot, but with a focus on scavengers and their society." Winter pulled out a scroll, his signature neat and dainty writing all over it to the point where there was more black ink than pale-brown paper. "I took a couple notes." He continued to pull out even more scrollpaper, all of which with similar amounts of writing.

"Three moons, that's a lot."

"Really? I don't think it even comes close to the amount I could jot down. Scavengers are brilliant when you get to them. You have to actually be around them and watch them as opposed to eating them like a savage beast."

"What do they like to do?" At this point, Qibli was pretty interested in what he had to say. Truth be told, he was never all that into scavengers. They were weird creatures, but he never gave them too much thought. However, listening to Winter talk so passionately about them was thrilling. It was entertaining to watch him ramble for once in his life about something he loved. Something he wholeheartedly loved. Not something he was told to love, like his tribe or whatnot. He was talking about a true passion.

It calmed him, listening to Winter speak. Everything felt much better around him. He'd never quite met a dragon before that was so easy to be around. Yes, he could be cold and distant at times, but there was nobody else who really got him. Who understood the words he said. Who knew what it was like when he finally admitted to wanting to put down this mask he puts up around others.

Winter was special to him. Winter made him happy.

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

The Academy Secretary- Part 1 of ?

You need to thank @heeahheeya, for the idea of A Grace Burgess/ Y/n reader fiction. This is f/f- pre Tommy. I loved the idea of her potential other romances before their star crossed one.

__________________________________________________________________

It was a day just like the others, a little banter between the men in the next office space behind my little station, making fun of my lack of your coffee making skills and talking about the IRA. I cleared up my desk preparing for my long day of taking calls, running errands in the beige boring office. (Y/N)  smoothing down your brown skirt preparing to sit and get on with the day but fate had other ideas. 

The door banged open, startling you from your thoughts. 

“Must be a new recruit,” you thought. They didn't realize how light the wooden door was. (Y/N )  looked up from the tiny desk and shuffled papers getting ready to hand them a file to fill out, a job application and test. You had almost dropped the whole stack. A beautiful blonde woman stood before you, Her hat brim tipping up ever so slightly giving you a view of her sweet smiling face. She removed the hat and blushed while making eye contact with you, she had kind eyes. You could tell. Too kind to work here. Unless she was here to replace you. 

 The sun cast a glow on her fair blonde hair giving her the aura of an Angel. You shook your head. Her lips were moving, you’d just missed whatever she’d said to you. 

Oh, I wasn't expecting any new trainees today.” ( Y/N)  said blushing furiously. She probably thought you didn’t have a brain in your head. You usually aren't easily swayed by anyone. A little aloof around people you were attracted to but you usually came off as standoffish, not bubble headed. She walked a little closer closing the gap between you obviously assuming you just hadn't heard her. You were grateful for the little slab of wood between you. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking about her, another woman that way. Not in 1918. She was dressed well, in a blue dress, velvet coat and white leather gloves. Her white shoes were kept in pristine perfection. She’d come from a good family, definitely not here for work. Perhaps a daughter. 

“Oh, I'm here to see Mr Campbell. He's a family friend.” She stood waiting patiently as you gathered your wits. You had just seen him dragging his girthy presence in the building this morning, grumbling about Belfast, gangsters and Birmingham. 

“ Alright, Give me just a moment to hunt him down. What did you say your name was?” You asked in a professional tone. You wanted her name for yourself in truth. 

“Grace, Grace burgess.” Her voice was sweet like candy. You smiled warmly as she extended her hand. She was bold, you’d give her that. You took it and shook it gently. You noticed how her fingers gripped at your a little tighter and longer than necessary, interesting. 

“I’ll go see where he is.” you said turning grateful to hide the blush forming on your face. 

___________________________________________________________________

You found Campbell easily. He was sitting at his desk going on about something. You didn’t care that your father liked him or got you the job. The man would always be insufferable to you for many reasons. He was always talking down to you making little jokes like you didn’t have a brain in your head. You did, you just hated waiting energy engaging with him in any way. 

“Y/N, do you not have anything better to do today then stand around and catch flies?” He joked but kept a gaze on you. A joke at your expense. 

“Mr. Campbell, someone is here to see you. A lady.” That got his attention right away. I could see his brain racking trying to figure out why a lady would come to see him, truthfully you were curious as well. The wolf whistles and sexist comments flew as someone clapped him on the back. You rolled your eyes not bothering to really listen to it anymore.

“What's the name…” He asked curiously as he stood. His arm outstretched allowing him to follow you to the receiving room. 

“Miss Burgess, I believe.” You were surprised at how quickly he maneuvered around her to beat you to the room. 

“Grace, what brings you in to visit with me today?” His arms were outstretched in a hug. He took her into his arms. You grinned at her when she flinched and patted his back, a silent plea to be let go quickly. He didn't concede right away, lingering for a bit. You slammed a file on the desk causing them both to jump back. It wasn’t out of jealousy, you didn't know this woman, you did know how it felt to have a hug linger two minutes too long though. We were naturally pretty girl, after all. 

“I came in to apply and take the test.” She said with confidence, you watched her smile falter when Campbell  scoffed and asked her why she’d need to do such a silly thing. He had men in the field for that. You knew you were glaring at him then. You outworked all the dogs in the office several times over before they ever finished a cup of coffee. 

Her face was set in stone. She was determined. He’d seen it too because he fumbled to recover.

“Come now Grace, what would your father think if I sent his daughter into the field around the same men, mind you that ended his life. I wouldn’t be fulfilling my promise to look after you now would I?” Pain flashed in her green eyes like thunder. Her jaw set. He’d pissed her off. 

“Can I get you both a cup of coffee while you discuss things?” You asked, trying to break the tension. You didn't get enough recognition for all that you did. You felt bad for her, in truth, you understood what it was like to be underestimated in a man's world. 

“She's not staying that long (Y/N) don't be daft.” Campbell scolded the tone in his voice dipped in venom. You made a mental note to walk by him later with a fresh scalding cup and accidentally on purpose trip: dripping the molten hot liquid all over him. He’d leave to change and you'd be left in peace. 

“Aren't I? I still have an application to fill out.” The one called Grace challenged him, squaring off literally toe to toe. My god, she was magnificent. 

_____________________________________________________________________

You sat in the full sun enjoying the beautiful fall day. It was warm, especially for a late September day. You’d find a bench very much out of the way to eat your sandwich in peace.

Your eyes were closed as you basked in the sun.

“Is this spot taken?” Your eye’s shot opened as you saw the angel, named Grace, sit down by you not waiting for an answer. Not that you would have said no anyway. The bench had a metal armrest pushing you two hip to hip. You could feel the heat from her touching your leg. 

“ (Y/N), correct?” She had her head tilted a bit to the side smiling at you. 

“Yes, but as Campbell said, I’m just a glorified coffee girl no need to remember me.” You felt like a pariah all the sudden, why should you. If it weren’t for you everyone would be disorganized and asleep from lack of coffee and tea. 

“ I doubt that highly.” She scoffed at you. Her hands were on her lap but one was sliding down slightly near your thigh. You tried to squirm a bit but where could you go? There was no way you were misinterpreting her intentions toward you. She was far too bold to be misunderstood. She cleared her voice before continuing.

“ Campbell said you were the one who created the test. The king approved that test.” She sounded impressed. You smiled, beaming brighter than the sun at her.  It was true, only 7 percent of those who came to apply, passed that written test. You could weed out the best of the best. 

“ My father helped. He was a major General in the war. Truly the two of us created it but yes, I started getting the ball rolling. Men aren't up for actually getting things done. My mother says if a man has a grandiose life changing idea, you can bet it came from a woman in his life.” You were surprised when she threw her head back and laughed. High and genuine. You’d been right about her. She was warm, genuine and true. You hoped she’d be sticking around. 

[koijikido]

🌱Small first steps

It felt weird. Not bad or negative, but unfamiliar. Getting out of once own comfort zone was something that took a lot of effort. The further away he walked from the snow-covered hills and forests, the warmer it became, the snow quickly vanished and soon a wide green sea opened up under his feet. So softly did the grass dance in flowing motions along with the wind, bringing out the grace of nature in harmony with the infinite blue sky above his head. Green grass, warm wind. Nothing new. And yet it felt new and exciting. He hadn't met many people while traveling, but it didn't surprise him. The other Veena always kept a close eye on the borders of their homeland, so that not many people dared to come closer.

Koiji had heard about it before. There were other Veena and Rava who did the same thing and left their home before to go out into the world. It was this thought that kept him going. What if he had the courage to do it himself? Would he be able to take that step? When he expressed that thought, some of the others were not pleased and condemned him for betraying his origins, his homeland and his people. Just two other Veena understood the idea and encouraged him. Arun and Oruro. Now they were both gone. It was bitter and sad that out of all things their death had pushed him in the right direction in the first place. Arun and Oruro were the only reason he stayed. Both gone now, there was no one who would miss him, nothing that held him back. In a large community of convenience, deeper ties were not necessarily represented.

After some time walking Koiji found a comfortable spot where he could gaze out into the distance and contemplate the breathtaking landscape while resting.

Suddenly he heard voices, not that far away. Scanning the landscape for a moment, he discovered where the sounds were coming from. Children were playing together beside some animals. Hearing the laughter made him smile too. It sounded so carefree. Light and brightly, without the weight of the world. He decided to get a little closer, and sat down again after he found a quiet spot. Unexpectedly the children seemed to notice him. Koiji wasn't sure how to handle this, but this was not the time to hide. He made the desicion to change his life. So he just remained sitting. The two children came running to him but stopped at small distance, carefully watching him from head to toe with wide eyes, curiously examining a person they've obviously never seen before.

"Hey...! Are you a Viera?” the girl finally asked after a while. Koiji nodded."Yes correct. I'm a Veena to be exact.” “Oh!” the boy's voice sounded excited. "A male Viera!" he exclaimed.

Koiji raised an eyebrow at this statement but couldn't resist to smile over his pure and bluntly reaction. "Yeah, I'm pretty real and alive."

The girl smacked the boy lightly on the back of his head. "You idiot, of course he is real! We've seen others before! Just ... not male ones! And just from afar!” The boy pouted briefly at the girl and rubbed the back of his head for a moment. "I was just excited!" Finally, the children dared to approach him closer and examined Koiji very carefully. He felt a little beleaguered. But they were children. He couldn't blame them for being curious. He himself would be the same on his journey from now on.

Suddenly he felt a small hand on one of his ears. The boy grabbed it and ran his fingers carefully over it. "Wow so soft! And I'm sure you hear really well! Ours are completely different!” The girl nodded. "Yeah look!" She presented her horns to Koji, which made him laugh a little. “I'm sure you can also hear very well. But it's not very polite to touch my ears without being asked, young man.” The boy winced and withdrew his hand. "Ehh-sorry Mr. Viera! I was just so curious!” For a moment he looked at the two children silently. "Koiji. Just say Koiji.” Thinking about this situation for a moment, he realized he hadn't had much to do with children in his life before. Not really. Hardly. Koiji lowered his head and stretching his ears backward. "Come on. Before curiosity kills you. You can touch them.”

The boy now touched his ears enthusiastically, but proceeded much more carefully than some would think. Smiling, he closed his eyes and listened to their enthusiasm and felt the gentle touch before raising his head again. Who would have thought that his first encounters with others would be curious children of all people. But it didn't bother him. Open-minded, curious, full of energy, ready to discover the world ... they might even have been the best first encounter that could have happened to him.

[satans-helper]

Reaching for Stardust - Part IX

Read Looking for Space here // Playlists here // Read on wattpad

Word Count: ~3600

Warnings: sexy time

A/N: I always have a lot of writing all the boys into these series. Hope you enjoy <3

---

It felt as though I had permanent butterflies in my stomach since Josh proposed. Every time I looked at my ring, the diamond like a brilliant little piece of the moon and the tiny blue stars surrounding it, those invisible butterflies fluttered with even more fervor, and I had trouble concentrating on anything but the wedding. Josh and I set a date that same night at the beach–January 18th–and since then I’d begun writing a list of everything I needed to do step by step. 

First, we had to tell everyone. We told the boys together when we were able to reconvene in person and my butterflies were scattering like mad when we did. But their three individual reactions were so amusing to me that they erased a good chunk of the nerves–Danny first looked surprised, wide-eyed and mystified in the dim, warm light of the bustling restaurant, until Sam reached across the booth we were sitting in to smack Josh on the arm. Then they both burst into huge grins and jovial cheers while Jake said “wow,” smiled in his own quiet way and asked to look more closely at the ring. 

Though I’d been a part of their lives for years, there had still been a part of me that worried they’d object to this no matter everything they’d said to assure me of the opposite. But the celebrations began instantly, with Jake ordering all of us drinks and appetizers and being the first one to make a poetic but concise toast, to which Sam said it’d been long enough and Danny asked if we’d set a date. 

“January,” I told him. “January 18th.”

“So soon,” Danny said.

“Not really,” Josh replied, taking a sip of his whiskey, and I knew he was saying that in part just to keep me calm as well as keep all of them calm. It felt like all this time would go by in the blink of an eye. “About seven months. Plenty of time.”

“I’ve never been a groomsman before,” Sam mused, grinning, looking positively lethal and beautiful, just as any Kiszka or Wagner groomsman should be, I thought. “This wedding is going to be a riot.”

“Is that a warning?” I asked with a laugh.

“It’s a promise. It’s the first wedding of our group–it has to be absolutely outlandish.”

“You and Danny will be next,” I joked, and Danny snorted. 

“Yeah, right,” Danny was quick to say. “You think Sam would ever let anyone lock him down?”

“Rude,” Sam replied with a scoff and leaned against Danny’s shoulder. “I’m a total catch, just hard to catch and keep.” 

“Jake will be the best man, of course,” Josh interjected, smiling at his twin who was caught between the two bickering boys and the window. “And there’s three of you, so there will be three bridesmaids to match.”

“Well, one maid of honor, two bridesmaids,” I added. “Kirsti, obviously, Bev and Jane.”

“Jane?” Jake repeated, eyebrows rising. 

I was going to inquire about that curious look on his face until Sam said, “Oh, right. Only three–I forgot you have no friends.”

“Now who’s the rude one?” Despite that, I laughed again, already a little buzzed from the emotional reveal and the bit of tequila twirling in my stomach. “We’re trying to keep it small anyway. Close friends and family only.”

“Is Bev okay with us being corresponding members of the party or whatever?” Sam took a drink and leaned back, lying his arm back across the booth behind Danny. “We did date–or whatever–for a little while.”

Somewhat secretly, I’d really wanted that to work out. But Sam was not exactly a one-woman man. The only person he seemed to want to be fully monogamous with was Danny. “She’s fine with it. I already asked.”

Sam hummed, looking up for a moment then back at me. “How’s she looking these days?”

“Better than when you were with her.”

He held a hand over his chest. “Ouch. Of course.”

“Are you all gonna go stag? Bring dates,” I encouraged. “We can make room for some plus ones.”

“We haven’t had much time for romance,” Jake said. 

“Other things though, I’m sure,” Josh said, smirking behind his glass. As he drank, he put his hand on my thigh beneath the table and I relaxed even more, warm and happy in a way I’d never known before. We were beginning another new chapter and we didn’t have to do it alone. 

After the boys, we told both of our parents–I was actually more nervous to tell my own than Josh’s but, to my great relief, both my mom and dad seemed genuinely pleased, maybe even outright happy, about it. Echoes of my mom’s past reservations about Josh came to my mind, as did the conversation I had with my dad years prior about love and the love I had for Josh, but I’d known all along that everyone else’s perceptions never mattered. Besides, it really was all in the past. My parents adored the little loon that had stolen my heart. Josh was good through and through, a better person than many, and I could only envision a wondrous, beautiful, secure life with him that really was until death. 

“Most everyone else will be told via formal invitation,” Josh said after I had returned from my parent’s house. He was lounging on the couch that was a little too worn in next to me, scrolling through his phone, something he seldom did. It was only because the upcoming wedding and I found it adorable and endearing that he was staying so involved in all of it. “Where do we even get those?”

I peered at his phone. “You’re already on a website that sells them, babe. Nothing wrong with ordering them. I bet it’s cheaper.”

“Right, who knows.” He sat up and moved in closer, bringing the phone between us. “There are so many designs. It’s a little overwhelming. What do we want?”

“Should we wait for the engagement photos? I want everyone to see your beautiful face when they open the invitations.”

Josh grinned at me. “No, yours. But yes, you’re right. We still have to do that and I have the perfect photographer to do it.”

“Someone you work with, I presume.” I grinned back at him. “That would be perfect. Are they expensive?”

“I doubt it. But I’ll text her right now.” Josh looked down, busy typing away. “She could do our wedding photos too. I’ll show you her portfolio.” 

I thought for a moment, then groaned. “Wait, I just realized–we have to book the venue before we even do the invitations.” I reached for my laptop on the coffee table. “I forgot to do that before. Shit.”

Josh rubbed my back. “There’s so much to do. I forgot too.” 

With an outdoor wedding out of the question, we’d searched for something that would shield us all from the cold but still resonate with both of us and something that wouldn’t cost an arm and a leg and, thankfully, we’d found it. A beautiful, rustic and charming lodge just a little ways north, perched on a small hill and surrounded by firs and pines. As soon as I’d seen the pictures online, I could picture the other pieces–the flowers and greenery, the candles, tablecloths, the food and the cake. Suddenly Pinterest had become a hobby of mine. 

Josh threw his phone aside against the arm of the couch and snuggled up to me. “Let’s take a break. All of this can wait, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sort of. Some of this stuff actually can't wait,” I answered, though I knew I couldn’t resist; I closed the laptop and set it aside. Josh had become even more affectionate and sexual, essentially, since the proposal–something I didn’t even realize was a possibility. Normally, we kept sex in the bed or on the couch but lately we’d been fooling around everywhere–the shower, the kitchen, the hallway and even the balcony, which had actually been my favorite, though I kept that to myself. I got the sense Josh liked the exhibitionism a little too much as well and I didn’t want an eviction before we were even ready to move; it was bad enough that Sam and Danny had caught us at that Halloween party ages ago. I’d never forget it and I doubt they ever would either.

“Oh, come on, darling.” Josh pivoted and took me with him, pulling me against his chest while he sat back, one foot on the floor and his other leg extended against my thighs. His arms wound around my waist, hands wandering up to my chest. I sighed and closed my eyes, so easily swayed and seduced by the slightest of his touches. “I absolutely love how focused you are on all of this. It makes me feel so loved.”

I smiled and brought my head back to try and look at him. “I want us to have a nice wedding.”

“We will. It’ll be magnificent.” Josh cupped my breasts, squeezed, and began to kiss my neck. “I can imagine how beautiful you’ll look in a wedding dress.” One hand slid down to my thighs. “I wouldn’t mind if you wore dresses more often.”

I brought one of my own legs to the floor; the gentle touch of Josh’s fingers between my spread thighs was enough to make me gasp. “Easier access?”

Josh chuckled. “That too.” His fingers made their way past the waistband of my shorts, spreading teasingly over my underwear while my left hand gripped his thigh. He brought his lips to my ear and nibbled, making me laugh, and increased the pressure of his touch between my legs. “I love seeing the ring on your hand.” 

I could feel his hard-on pressing into my lower back. This newfound sort of possessiveness was a surprising turn-on–Josh was never really like that, had never been even slightly insecure enough to warrant that, but I liked it, probably because he was still so quiet about it. He looked at my hand, and the ring, often and made a point to hold my right hand more frequently than my left, as if wanting everyone else around to see the ring, too. He’d also started to take immense pleasure in referring to one another as “fiances,” which I did too, but the obvious pride whenever he said the word wasn’t something anyone could ignore. I was into that as well. I’d always enjoyed parading Josh around and knowing everyone else would recognize we were together–now it was solidified. I couldn’t wait until he had a ring, too. We were bound together forever even without the rings but still–it was a beautiful addition. 

Reaching behind myself, I felt for his curls and the warm skin of the back of his neck. “You’re gonna get a matching one?”

Josh kissed my cheek. “Naturally.” 

Rings, a ceremony, our names together on a binding piece of paper–the future. I thought of the house that I’d declined to pursue and where that would leave us, literally. We’d talked about it. Talked about how Savannah had been a wonderful trip and was a wonderful city we’d like to experience again but moving there wasn’t what either of us wanted. I was sure Josh’s conversation with Jake contributed to that–undoubtedly, he’d needed to share the feelings surrounding the changes, the distance, the fears that he wanted to keep to himself. I was sure Jake had told him how silly it was that Josh had even considered moving further away. But all of that had been it, really. No further discussion about where and when down the line we’d be and I was still curious; I was also still sure that Josh wouldn’t be able to live his life in the same place forever. I couldn’t either, but one step at a time. I had to remind myself of that. Nothing was a race. Everything was a marathon. 

“You’ve thought about looking for jobs at Wayne State?” I questioned as Josh’s fingers moved beneath my underwear and I had to catch my breath, trying to retain enough focus to not lose the momentum of my curiosities. “Or that other one–the College of Creative Studies or whatever?”

“Mhmm.” Josh brought his lips to my neck again. “And you so wish to discuss this now?”

“Maybe just a little. I’m curious.”

“I’m curious about a lot of things too,” Josh said, bringing his other hand up underneath my shirt, palm and fingers splayed over my sternum. “But what do you think about continuing this conversation after we fuck?” 

“Either of those schools would pay more than what you’re making now,” I continued, deciding to purposefully keep the conversation going long enough to rile him up further. I fished behind my back for his groin; he moved back just enough to let me spread my hand over his erection still sheathed in his own shorts. “And there’d be more to do there.” Really, the greatest pull behind moving to Detroit was simply being in the same city as Jake, Sam and Danny. Even if they weren’t there all the time, they’d still be there enough, and although that city’s population may have been on the decline for decades, it had recently gained three spectacular rising stars. 

Josh removed his hand from beneath my shirt and brought it up to cover my mouth. “I never thought I’d ever ask you this, but will you hush, please, my love?” he asked, to which I giggled behind his palm. He lowered his hand to caress my chest once more while his hand below permeated his own body heat into my own, fingers gently gliding over me, the tip of his middle finger intentionally adding more pressure against my clit. 

Suddenly that touch was gone and Josh was circling my upper body and bringing me down onto the floor with him, which just made me laugh more. I turned around, moving onto my knees on the carpet instead of the sand like the night he’d proposed, but he just climbed over me. He pushed the coffee table away with one hand and my eyes zeroed in on the flexing of his muscles, the strength overlaid by supple tan skin, then back up to the slight flush on his neck. I wanted to touch him all over.

Josh knew as much. He pulled his shirt off and I thrust my hands out to meet his body; I squeezed his sides, pet down to his hip bones and back up to his chest, catching a small smile on his lips during the languid caressing. I’d never wanted someone so badly and the deep, aching want never disappeared no matter how many days we spent together–thankfully, the ache could always be satiated since he was real and he was there, always beside me, always eager to be together any which way. Still, sometimes I was in disbelief that Josh chose me. Chose me back when I gave him such a hard time, when the forces–how could I ever forget Steve?--that pushed us together felt unfair. And then he’d whisked me away with his creativity, intellect, kindness and beauty. I was spellbound for all eternity.

Lost in thought for a moment while I rubbed my hands up his arms, lingering at his biceps, I remembered how much Josh loved to actually hear these things. “I’m so lucky to have you, Josh.” I looked up from that tantalizing throat to his plush lips and they curved into another, bigger smile; I spared one hand to trace his lips with my finger. “The prettiest boy with the prettiest smile.” 

He cupped my jaw, fingers spreading over my cheekbones while his thumb stroked my chin. “And I’m even luckier to have you, the prettiest girl in the whole world,” he said and I blushed as I always did when he complimented me, but much of that internal fire was fueled by how intently he was looking at me. 

He lowered himself to bring his lips to mine; as we kissed, swapping the softest sweetness while I felt him lift his hips off me enough to pull his shorts down. I clasped my hand on the back of his head as he stripped me of my shorts next, and we sighed against each other’s mouths as he pushed my leg back and slid inside. With my shirt pushed up and my entire lower body bare, I could feel the slight roughness of the carpet against my skin but more than that I could feel the luxurious silkiness of Josh’s skin on mine and the whispers of his hair against my cheek and neck. I let myself feel all of it, eyes closed, as he pushed into me; I hooked my fingers in his hair and brought his mouth back to mine, never able to get enough of those kisses, and squeezed around him until he was moaning and pawing at my chest through my shirt. 

He must have been slightly more riled up than I’d thought; just a couple minutes and Josh dug his fingertips into my thigh as his teeth dug into my neck, thrusting hard as he huffed right below my ear. Then I felt the slight stutter of his hips between my legs while he gasped for air and started to apologize breathlessly, lifting himself up with his hands on the carpet, cheeks all red as he looked down at me. 

“Don’t be sorry,” I said, touching his heated waist, but before I could assure him any further, Josh suddenly surged forward again and brought his fingers down to me, sliding through the slight slick that lingered to rub my clit. Then it was me who was gasping and pulling him down to kiss and nip, my arms clasping his upper body to keep the two of us locked together as long as he could manage; when I came, eyes squeezed shut against the fury of black and white light, his name a soft sigh from my lips, Josh hissed and pulled out. 

“Too sensitive now, darling,” he said with a little laugh, eyes blinking starry affection at me. He flopped down next to me, his backside pressed against the couch, and laid his limbs over my body. One eyebrow rose slightly and he leaned over, pulling my leg over his and inspecting. “I hope you didn’t get any rugburn.” 

I looked down at his hand on my leg. “I don’t think so,” I said truthfully, not aware of any damage from the carpet, though being down there like that reminded me that I needed to vacuum. I tried to get a look at his knees next to inspect for damage on his perfect skin. “What about you? You were going pretty hard.”

Josh kissed my cheek and slid his hand back between my legs, two fingers slowly pushed inside the wetness and heat. “Too hard?”

I laughed, uncontrolled and loud, and tore his hand away from me. “I’m too sensitive now,” I said, then my body relaxed again, eyes fixed on the image of him bringing those fingers to his mouth and sucking. “God. You’re crazy.”

He winked. “You love it.”

“I do love it,” I affirmed, giving him a kiss before I managed to pull myself up from the floor, taking my discarded shorts and underwear with me, then I gave him a wink. “You drive me crazy, baby. Now what do you want for dinner?” 

For dinner, we cooked together–a vegetarian dish Sam had shared that turned out to be more enjoyable than I’d anticipated–and as we shared utensils, tools, techniques and flavors, the weight of the wedding dripped away from me. While Josh was usually even more restless and proactive than I was in some ways, he was so much more adept at trusting the intrinsic timing of things and knowing that, no matter what, everything would work out exactly as it needed to. I was glad he was channeling more of my own meticulous nature when it came to the wedding though–it wasn’t going to plan itself as much as both of us wanted it to. And as we enjoyed the dinner we’d made together, we talked about other bits and pieces of that–what the menu might be, the cake, the bar. 

“We’re not even thinking about arguably the most fun and important aspect yet,” Josh said when our plates were clean and we were hunched over my laptop together. I was finalizing the details to secure our venue. “The honeymoon.”

Truly, I hadn't thought about that, which made me pause for a moment, surprised at my own lack of foresight. “Oh. Yeah, right,” I said, then felt instantly deflated. “Would we even have the funds for that?” 

“We could ask for donations as our wedding gifts?” Josh suggested and again I was surprised by his own very detailed way of thinking through this. “And I would absolutely spare some of my savings for that. We should go anywhere you want to go.”

I sat back. “Where do you want to go?” 

“Some place magical, with lots of sun and blue skies. We’ll be missing it by the time we’re in the dead of winter, I’m sure.” 

“So a beach. I can get behind that,” I said, opening a new tab for Google. “But which beach? Somewhere international?” 

“International would be splendid,” Josh said, perching his chin on my shoulder to watch me search for “affordable beach honeymoons.” “If your heart is up for another plane ride.”

“As long as you’re with me,” I told him and felt him smile.

---

Tagging: @kissingthegoat @jjwasneverhere @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta @colorstreammind

If you'd like to be tagged in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me <3

[bitchlessbiped]

This was years ago, a park bench I still remember you by.

As the sun fell and the wind picked up, you offered me your hoodie. I laughed because it wouldn't fit me. I laughed because I wanted you to be warm.

We sat there like that. Stared into the middle distance for a while. Our town. You lived right around the corner for a few years. On your own since you were 12. I didn't know you then.

"I really would have liked the chance to live longer", you said.

I bit firmly on my lip to not cry. You chose to ignore my welling eyes and tremulous voice as I looked back at you to reply "..Yeah".

I feel around in my pocket aimlessly, until the sharp edge and metallic snap of the candy bar remind me that I brought it for you. It was always for you. All of it. If you'd have asked me to trade lives, I wouldn't have hesitated. Even now. But you were never the type to ask for a hand, or for anything. I never knew quite how to tell you how much I loved you. I wish I did. Really. You smiled sincerely and earnestly, like a parent receiving a dandelion.

"I have to watch my blood sugar levels", you told me, now with a half smile.

"Oh. Right, sorry."

You take a bite and grin.

I wish I'd said something here. Anything. I wish I remarked how divinely brilliant your eyes were to me. How your hair flowed like amber clouds of a breezy sunset. I wish I'd lied and said that I wasn't afraid of my life anymore, so that you wouldn't have to worry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know", I muttered.

"It's alright, I'm sure a little won't hurt"

You asked me what I was in school for. I told you I might as well switch to engineering by the end of the year, though I didnt know if I could really make it. You told me that I was obviously smart enough.

At that moment, I remembered that in high school I considered you an older sister to me. You used to help me with my homework. Gave me study tips. You taught me to love words and to engage with the world in verse. On lunch breaks, when I used to eat alone at the edge of the woods, I could see you from the 2nd floor library window. You must have thought me such a curious person even then. I often stood on the tree stump and looked up at you, like the Northern Star.

You opened up the conversation again. "You know, things sometimes turn out in ways you wouldn't expect. Maybe one day you'll be an engineer in... something, and you'll have a big old barbecue. Your friends will be there, your kids will be there, and I'll be there too! I'll be the aunty who gives them so much candy their teeth will start to rot, and you'll have to shoo me away like a fly."

We shared an innocent laugh, the lump in the back of my throat having not budged an inch.

"I would let you keep giving them candy, you know. Baby teeth doesn't matter."

"I changed my mind. You'd be a horrible parent!" You observed my surprised expression with your eyebrows scrunched in mischief. We broke out in laughter again.

At this point I could feel the tears welling up and I wasn't sure what kind.

You coughed into a napkin. The corner of it grew red. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out a tray of pills I'd never seen before and took seven. I looked away.

Now it was dark. You asked me if I needed to call my parents. I told you that I trained them not to care.

We stared again into the middle distance, the empty soccer field, and I began to shiver.

"Alright, it's time for you to go home." You pulled out your phone and started looking for bus routes for me. We talked leisurely all the way to the stop. The bus was coming. Its high beams making us cover our faces momentarily. Around 10 seconds until doors open.

"It's been so long. I-. Do you do hugs?"

"Yeah, come on."

You leaned towards me and held me. I hugged you back. A little taken aback. I'd grown. By now the top of your head rested into the nook of my chin.

Bye.

Bye.

I scanned my card and stepped into the bus. The blue light inside irritating my retinas. I see you from inside. Still on the sidewalk.

I wave at you.

You wave at me.

That was the last time I saw you. It will likely forever be the last time I saw you. I love you. I still try to live fearlessly as you do, or as you did. I don't know.

Bye.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

I’ve been meaning to ask !!! Its possible you’ve already posted abt this BUT I got in an angsty mood recently and was curious, do you think Adam or Belle dies first? and how does the other cope with it ?

ooohhh i love that you Know i’m just crazy enough about them to know the answer to this question. i’ve thought TOO much about this, unfortunately! look you have one otp for six years, YOUR MIND WANDERS, OKAY?

okay so obviously in the ideal perfect world, they die at the same time asleep in bed in each other’s arms after a very long life of being so ridiculously in love. that way no one has to deal with anything (except the rest of their family, of course). that’s the ideal otp death scenario. BUT. i do have a sadder answer, yeah

so for a while i actually could not decide who would die first. it really wasn’t ideal either way because if adam dies first, belle has to go through experiencing his death TWICE in life. and if belle dies first, adam is… disaster. but ultimately, belle is by far the stronger one between the two of them, they both know it and always have, so i decided that adam would die first.

i once entertained the idea of belle dying first and adam just… oh my gosh… like they’re always very old when they die but even still it’s like… belle is the air that adam breathes… watching him lose her is so… dark. and grim. he really can’t live without her and the aftermath is far too upsetting to include it into my canon. he becomes so unwell…

now, obviously, belle is utterly heartbroken by adam’s death, and she doesn’t do all that much better than the alternative. i headcanon they both die in their 90s (no i do not CARE that they’re from the 18th century!!!!! they’re living long ass lives because i SAID SO!!!!!!) and it’s really no specific illness that takes adam. it was just his time. he was in bed for a week or so, too weak at this point to do anything else. belle never left his side, caring for him even though she had slowed down in her old age too. even as nurses and grandchildren tried to take over, she wouldn’t let them. she’d do anything for him. she’d take his place if it were possible.

he dies at the grand age of 98, surrounded by his family and loved ones, holding his wife’s hand. she can tell he’s nearly gone, but he’s fighting it. he loves his life too much now to leave it. he’s been sunbathing in happiness for over 70 years and he doesn’t want to let it go. but belle kisses his hand and tells him it’s okay, they’ll be okay. this family he’s raised, this family he’s protected, this family he’s loved. they’ll be okay. rest now, my love.

silent tears fall down belle’s wrinkled cheeks as adam turns and looks at her. though his face and body age, his eyes never changed. still the same crystal blue that she fell in love with. he looks at her and he squeezes her hand. his lips turn up in a slight smile. “my darling…” he whispers, just as his last breath escapes his lungs.

everyone knows he’s gone. he was husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, beloved king. he was rescued so many years ago, it seems none of it matters anymore. but belle remembers. belle remembers when her love was lost in the darkness. belle remembers when he accepted her light.

the following days are a blur. everyone is sad, but relieved too — in the way anyone is when an old, beloved family member passes. he deserved to die that way. life fulfilled, loved by plenty, surrounded by those who meant the most to him.

while the children (grown and old themselves, frankly) tend to announcements and letters and funeral arrangements, belle keeps to herself. she sits on the balcony of their chambers in the west wing. she watches another sunset alone. she hasn’t felt such sadness since her father died many years ago. she thought she would never recover from the deep pain she felt at his loss. but adam had been there to hold her while she cried. adam had kissed her head and told her things would be better again. and at the time she couldn’t fathom it, but she never left his arms. his warm, comforting arms. belle had never felt safer than when she was in adam’s embrace. and now… now she shivers under even the warmest of blankets.

they were old. and belle always thinks too much. she knew their time on this earth could not be much longer. and when adam could no longer get up, it was only a matter of time. what she did not anticipate was how utterly betrayed she would feel by death itself. how dare he be taken away from her? to leave her alone? she always prided herself on being able to do things on her own, but the true reality of it was devastating. she didn’t want to do anything alone ever again. she wanted her best friend back. who was she going to dance with now?

the last entry of her diary was short, but clear in how sad the queen felt. how lost she was, how high up in the clouds her head floated, with no one to keep her grounded. her heart had completely and irreversibly broken in two. she would see adam; visions of when they were young, and some when they were older. but he’d always vanish again before she could say anything to him. “where is my adam?” she’d ask her children when they found her. they would simply take her hand and kiss her cheek, asking her to come and sit awhile with the little ones.

a week after adam’s death, their children found belle in bed, having peacefully died in her sleep. they were devastated, but equally knew how much their mama loved their papa. they had always known of their parents’ grand love. and they knew this may just be too much for her. knew that dying from a broken heart was as real as it could be.

so, adam and belle were buried together, entombed in the rose garden behind the castle. their precious home. a huge, lovely structure was placed to honor them, with vines and flowers growing around it, and eloquent words on a plaque speaking of a beloved king and queen, who loved like no other.

[haaiileeyysblog]

icecream - hoshi

• a little scenario where you and hoshi get some icecream :)

• hoshi x gender neutral reader

hi im new to tumblr and svt scenarios/imagines :). sooo pls be nice okay bye <3

~~

as you wake up, light hitting your face from the window, a buzzing sound can be heard. you look over, your phone being lit. rubbing your eyes, you reach for your phone, picking it up and adjusting the screen brightness to fit your eyes.

you open the notification, and you see it's from hoshi, one of your newest but closest friends.

"hey, this is out of the blue but, i heard there's a new icecream shop on my street. do you maybe wanna go to it with me?" hoshi's text reads.

you yawn and look at the time, 8 am. you shrug and type, "yeah, sure!".

"nice, i'll come and pick you up." hoshi texts.

you type back a confirmation and then get ready, putting outdoor-appropriate clothing on and head towards the door.

"here!" hoshi texts.

you smile and open the door, excited. you never really get to see hoshi, he's kinda busy all the time.

you see hoshi stepping out of his car and then waving at you, smiling.

"hey!" he yells from the street, you both walking towards each other.

"hi hoshi!" you smile wide.

"let's get into the car, it's only a couple blocks from here." hoshi says.

you hop in the passenger's seat and hoshi hops into the driver's seat. the car turns on and soon enough you two start driving around the blocks. you then make it to the icecream shop.

before you can talk or get out of the car, hoshi quickly hops out and makes his way to your door, getting it for you and gesturing his hand, like you were royalty.

"thanks." you giggle.

you step out of the car and you can see hoshi hesitate, like he wanted something.

"after you!" hoshi smiles, kind of awkwardly if you're going to be honest.

you both head into the ice cream shop, eager to get your favorite flavor.

"how can i help you two today?" a lady says as you and hoshi walk in.

"oh, yes, we would like some icecream, well, obviously." hoshi chuckles. you giggle. he looks at you, signaling for you to order.

"i would like some plain vanilla, thank you." you say.

"and i would like plain chocolate." hoshi says.

"alright, take a seat and we'll have your order ready asap!" the lady says cheerfully.

you and hoshi pick a booth next to a window. sitting down, you look over to hoshi, who is looking out the window. he's tapping his fingers on the table, and looks sort of distressed in some capacity.

"how has your week been, hoshi?" you say confidently.

"oh," he blurts, his focus going from the outside to you, "i've just been going out and hanging out with the members."

"you seem, upset." you outwardly say.

"huh? well, i'm not. i'm just, nervous." he murmurs under his breath.

"why?" you ask, curious.

"it's just, well, you know, new people.. and, a rather, pretty person, i would say." he whispers, looking up at you.

you're startled, but very flattered and very flustered. you've always thought hoshi was rather handsome, cute, but you've decided he was out of your league anyways.

"did you mean to say that?" you end up speaking.

"yes. i'm not ashamed to say you're pretty." he sits up straight, seeming more confident in what he has to say.

you blush, as is hoshi.

you end up giggling.

"you're cute." you say.

"plain chocolate and plain vanilla?" a lady calls out, coming up to our table with a tray, some napkins, and two bowls of icecream.

"yes, that would be us." hoshi says.

she sets the bowls of icecream down on the table. hoshi hands you yours.

"a gentleman, i see." you smile.

"of course." hoshi grins. it's the most cheerful smile you've ever seen. the cutest smile you've ever seen.

"so, what really was your intentions of bringing me here." you say as you take a bite of your icecream.

"i thought, you know, it could be like a little date.. without saying.. it was." he shyly giggles.

"you could've just asked, i would've said yes." you shrug.

"it's not that easy." hoshi rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"oh its not is it?" you say, mouth full of icecream. hoshi must've found this hilarious, or cute, maybe both, and he bursts out into laughter.

"have you ever heard of not eating when your mouth is full?" he teases.

"no." you say back, taking another bite.

hoshi shakes his head and starts eating his icecream. under the table, you can see he's kicking his feet, and you think, he's so adorable.

"hoshi, you got, uh, a little something." you say, pointing above his top lip. he ends up licking his bottom lip instead. you giggle.

"no! right there." you say, taking a napkin and getting the icecream off for him.

he blushes, and you smile. after the two of you finish your icecream, you head back to the car, and hoshi drives you home.

after you've gotten dressed back into comfy clothes, you get one more text, it's from hoshi.

"hope to see you again soon. oh, and i mean it, you are pretty."

thanks for reading!

[wrrdbrrd]

4 - Divine

“-aaaarge!”

Sir Roderic came to a sudden and unsteady stop. He was fairly certain he had been somewhere else just now. Somewhere with a lot more noise, and people, and bloodthirsty energy.

The sky was no longer blood-red with smoke and fire. It was a clear, uniform blue from horizon to horizon, and the flat plane on which he stood was no longer made of grass and mud. It was in fact very white and fluffy. Sir Roderic looked down at his armoured boots and shifted his weight experimentally. It was soft, and some of it actually drifted over the tops of his feet like mist.

There was someone seated at a desk in front of him. Had they always been there? Sir Roderic blinked hard. They didn’t seem to be going away again. In fact, they were looking directly at him with a polite, neutral, slightly curious expression on their face.

They looked more or less human, if humans had huge feathery wings on their back and glowed with an internal golden light. They were beautiful in a way that defied gender and made Sir Roderic feel uncomfortable for reasons he couldn’t quite place.

It was, all in all, the kind of tableau that rendered questions like “where am I?” and “who are you?” rather unnecessary.

“Ah,” he said, instead.

“Yes,” said the angel. “Sir Roderic, is it? Of the Holy Order of Our Lady’s Mercy?”

Sir Roderic realised he was pointing his sword directly at the figure. He lowered it somewhat sheepishly. “’Tis I.”

“Right on time,” the angel said. From a drawer in the desk, they produced a large, heavy-looking book and began leafing through it.

“How did I…?” Sir Roderic found he couldn’t quite finish the question.

“Cannonball,” the angel said, quite gently. “Directly to the torso, I believe. It was quite instantaneous and you didn’t feel any pain.”

Sir Roderic thought about that for a moment. “That’s a relief,” he managed.

“I’m sure.” The angel licked their index finger and turned one more page. “Now, we do have a judgement to get through before we can let you in.”

“In?”

The angel jerked their head at a large double door off to the right. It wasn’t obviously attached to any walls or other structure. “In there. It’s a very simple process, we’re just going to check your record against the Commandments to see how you did. It’s a formality, really.”

This was suddenly much more reassuring. Sir Roderic knew exactly how devout he had been. He puffed out his chest and awaited the angel’s judgement.

“Let’s see here,” the angel said, studying the book carefully. “Have no other gods, no problem there.” They gave Sir Roderic a reassuring little smile before returning their attention to the page. “Graven images, you never were much of an artist, good for you. Thou shalt not… mm-hmm, check, check, check, so far looking very good indeed, Sir Roderick.”

The knight smiled behind his waxed moustache.

“Ah. Now. Killing,” the angel said. “There is the matter of these thirty-seven enemy soldiers. Anything to say for yourself on that point?”

This was a cunning test, Sir Roderic realised. He fixed his gaze somewhere over the angel’s head and declared, “They were enemies of God!”

“Funnily enough,” the angel said, “every single one of them made the exact same allegation about you.”

For the first time in many years, the cold spectre of Uncertainty placed its clammy hand on Sir Roderic’s shoulder.

“But it was… commanded…”

“Was it?” The angel manifested a small pair of spectacles on their face and peered closer at the page. “‘Thou shalt not kill…’ hm-hm-hm… Ah, yes, sub-paragraph b(iii). ‘Unless you think they are enemies of God. Then, by all means, go for it.’”

A puzzled little frown crept onto Sir Roderic’s face. He said nothing.

The angel looked up over their spectacles at him. “That’s not actually in there, to be clear. Bit of a messy business, this. We’ll have to run it up the chain, see what the boss has to say about it. As for the rest of record, thou hast not… good, good, good. Ah. Coveting thy neighbour’s ass. Anything to say there?”

Killing was one thing, but Sir Roderic was quite sure about his obedience to the rest of the rules. He managed to find some reserve of indignation that hadn’t been frozen solid by existential terror yet. He scoffed. “I’ve never done such a thing!”

“No? What about Sir Edmond of your company? Ring any bells?”

“He doesn’t even have a donkey!”

The angel quirked a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “I wasn’t talking about the animal.”

Sir Roderic’s bottom lip trembled. His eyes began to water.

The angel chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry, we don’t actually care about that one. Just a little something to keep you on your toes. That killing business, though, that is quite serious. I’m afraid it’s going to disqualify you from direct entry.”

A low moan escaped Sir Roderic’s lips. He dropped to his knees, shaking with terror, and reached out towards the angel as he finally looked them directly in the eyes. “No! Please! I repent! I’ve been a faithful servant! I don’t deserve eternal torture!”

“Oh, for the love of – no, obviously, nobody deserves that. We’ll – there, there, please don’t cry. Oh, dear. We’ll put you through some remedial – oh, I say.” The angel patted the sobbing Sir Roderic awkwardly on the head. “Please don’t pull on the robes. If they tear, it will be literal hell to get them mended. I’m sure you’ll be allowed in soon enough, give it just a few hundred years or so. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a lot of people to get through today, lots of people on both sides to process. Yes. Just down those stairs, there. Take your time. Good man. Well, not that good, but we’ll get you there. Have a nice day.”