#realizingthings

[passthrume]

I’m back and I’m legal this time

[rooftops-are-for-towels]

Chapter 18: RealizingThe Illeness?!?!

[angelkwill]

I Am, We Are

Spoken thoughtinto existence,individuated form. All creationbearing the markof its Creator. Nature naturallyreceiving and overflowingfrom the earth, wind, water, and sun.We, being madein the image of God, are given a gift. Freedom of choice—to join the great I Am,or to resist. Together, dams break,free flow of Living Water;two becoming One. A wondrous re-union; realizingthe Kingdom of God is…

[thiefking]

realizingthe depth of my nerditude as i register that there are languages that make me genuinely emotional thinking about them (yiddish, english, basically any pidgin)

[retrievablememories]

oh? #realizingthings

i have to briefly interrupt my severe crashout session to post this because i honestly just had to laugh.

[markjayvaquillo]

[sapphyrepoison]

Just having a ponder …. • Photo by @fireflower333 • • • #drag #dragqueen #queen #beauty #beautymakeup #beautyphotography #makeup #mua #makeupartist #dragmakeup #redhaur #fashion #glamour #potd #photoshoot #realizingthings #gay #instagay #instadrag https://www.instagram.com/p/CbqB5k8J8JY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[caitlynmeyermua]

Adult fomo is real, man. Decisions are hard. Where to live, where to work, what to do with your life. I feel like we all grow up with these expectations for ourselves and our lives, but things don’t always go as planned, the things you want will rarely just fall right into your lap. Our future, our happiness, is in our own hands, and in ways, that’s almost scarier than the alternative. In choosing one path, you potentially miss out on another, but putting off the decision altogether, and not choosing at all, you certainly miss out on it all. Are you waiting for the perfect moment, or are you creating your own bliss? #thinkingthoughts #realizingthings #mondaymorningmotivation #pma #positivementalattitude

[aaestheticaa]

Full of half a glass of red wine, having clicked SUBMIT to the online order confirming her travels to Italy in the summer, and looking across the bar at the roaring fireplace and warmth of it all...And all of a sudden Vancouver felt exhausted. Like a balloon defaulted fully of air and left flat and limp. She thought of the excitement, the taste left in her mind, in her mouth, in her heart - from Victoria when visiting on the arm of a then beau - of daydreaming of a new home in Calgary - a fresh, barren, new place to just...MOVE on. START. That’s when she knew she had repaired all there was to offer of here. Of this place. Vancouver - like a dying act, like a chapter of a book you've since read and flipped to a fresh, new page - had been. Had fulfilled. But now, was no longer fresh, of the present, held no prospect or excitement or future. It could be looked back on here and there - whenever - fondly or partially. But the time was now...to go forward...to move on...to MOVE. 

[nativemexicamindpalace]

It's pretty fucked up Eve's narrative has been altered to make women think their nature is sinful.

[jadeamber14]

Indeed...😘 #JCDiaries #realizingthings #repost #loveyourselffirst💋 #lovedtoday❤️ #reminders✨💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtX3M8TA8jX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9t5tsmpmvs0h

[happydooly]

don't be mean in '17 (p.s. I realized the music makes this 10x more creepy) #donaldglover #realizingthings

[4kadhd]

I think I've reached the ultimate chill in my life.

Like klance was in the new York times and I just...accepted it..

Not fully realizing that a ship was featured in the new York times and I'm sitting here sipping my tea and struggling to get out of bed like it's just a normal day.

Meanwhile everyone and their mother is freaking the fuck out.

[silvyysthings]

In counseling there is this thing where we just let the person talk without interruption, the first few mins is where they usually lie and/or twist the story, then as they gradually progress they just cant keep up with their own lie/story and at the end the truth just comes out naturally.

I think thats whats happening with EC and co., The lies are starting to unravel one by one and they deserve to burn for what they did.

she did it all and now that those who helped her are realizingthe danger, they are running away and started to talk. But this is only the tip of the iceberg, they will have to pay everyone without exception for what they have done to him

[mercadona007]

He could have me but he chooses the uncertainty of tinder I’m like starting to realize how ridiculous this whole situation is #realizingthings

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: I think I've actually lost it fully now Jesse: ? Jac: You'd tell me, yeah Jesse: go on Jac: If I've been talking to imaginary people for the last two years, I'll be fuming at you Jesse: you've barely said owt for the last 2 years Jac: yeah, and that's served me so well today, Jesus Jac: Savannah Moore is here Jesse: add her middle name in an' all Jesse: ain't sure who you mean Jac: This is why I don't talk, twat Jesse: Sav's here and you feel what? Jac: More shocked than you are Jac: have you been checking her UCAS app or her socials, like? Jesse: you knew she might Jac: I stopped thinking maybes and what-ifs about her a long time ago Jesse: half an hour ago? Jac: Shut up Jac: you aren't helping here Jesse: I'm asking how it went Jesse: seeing her Jac: Inconveniently and mindfuckingly well Jesse: alright Jesse: start with the 1st bit Jac: Inconvenient? Jac: Well, it's inconvenient because she's still the most perfect person who's ever existed Jac: confirming that I was right every time I looked at a pretty girl and thought that she didn't compare to her Jesse: she's single now, I heard Jac: Therein lies the headfuck Jac: because one minute she's complimenting me, telling me she's missed me and everything else I could possibly wanna hear Jac: then the next she's talking about marrying Princes and having lots of perfect babies Jesse: with what word? Jesse: or words Jac: Perfect Jac: that's what she said Jac: that I was Jesse: not much of a headfuck then Jesse: she's being clear Jac: but it's not though, is it Jac: 'cos this is how she used to talk to me Jac: and we know what happened there Jesse: then either she's trying to tell you fuck all's changed Jesse: or she's testing the waters to see what could Jac: This is just Jac: unreal Jesse: what did you say back? Jac: I'm not prepared to read that back yet Jac: I was just trying not to overstep the mark and freak her out the whole time Jac: but obviously, some shit came out Jesse: shit that you wanted to come out or nah? Jac: that depends Jesse: on her Jac: Yeah Jesse: alright, what do you know about how her 2 years were? Jac: right Jac: she didn't like her school Jac: her sister did Jac: her dad is controlling as fuck, sounds like Jac: her mum had some kind of breakdown that was a long time coming and Sav didn't see her much and feels guilty about it all Jac: oh, and she had a boyfriend the whole time, obviously Jac: but he dumped her at the end of school Jesse: and she missed you Jac: yeah Jac: and that it weren't the same, with anyone else Jac: talking, being mates, like Jesse: that's loads Jesse: that's her letting you in Jac: She's a pretty open person Jac: I think Jac: I don't know Jac: not like us Jesse: you gave her nowt back then Jac: Not exactly Jac: I didn't spill my heart out there and then but I tried to be honest Jac: without being too much, you know Jesse: yeah Jac: Am I making a horrible mistake Jac: going back Jesse: not by talking to her Jesse: sounds like she needs it Jac: What do I need? Jesse: a drink Jesse: but not if you're seeing her again Jac: We're going shopping Jac: I had to get half an hour so I could scream into a pillow Jac: and message you, obvs Jesse: clothes? Jac: Potentially, but shit for my dorm, mainly Jesse: don't try anything on Jac: that's your advice, yeah? Jac: tah Jesse: 1st bit Jac: Don't hold out on me Jac: go on Jesse: slow it down Jesse: much as you can Jac: Alright Jesse: there's loads you don't know Jesse: she still might not know herself Jac: She definitely still projects straight Jac: whether she's thought about any other possibility privately, yeah, I don't know Jac: but then I might've said I fancied some Scottish lad accidentally so I can't say much Jesse: nice one, you prick Jac: I'll miss you too, dickhead Jac: she was going on about boys, I had to say SOMETHING Jesse: did you ever reckon she might be going on about boys to see what you'd say Jac: Pretty sure it was her ex she was chatting about, so unlikely Jac: and I couldn't drop in that I'd had fantasies about digging his eyes out with rusty spoons so Jac: it made sense at the time Jesse: last thing you said to her you were straight an' all Jesse: and you confirmed it 2 years on Jac: but I'm clearly painfully in love with her 😩 Jac: it's some bullshit that I've got to put that out there again to be shot down, again Jesse: she might need you to put it out there so she can do something Jesse: she might be reckoning she's going mad right now Jac: It'd be an effective way to get her off the course, but I don't know if I can handle the guilt of making her move to another shithole Jesse: it was her mum that tried to top herself, weren't it? Jesse: just realised Jac: What Jac: oh no Jac: you're 100%? Jesse: might not be Jesse: but I remember people talking about something Jesse: the time-line isn't off Jac: Shit Jac: well, I'm gonna need you to check because I had no idea Jac: she asked if I heard what happened with her mum but she obviously didn't go into specifics when I said nah Jac: what did I even say back, fucking hell Jesse: if it were her, she made a big scene about her 💔 on Facebook or somewhere beforehand Jesse: be easy to 🔍 Jac: How did I miss this Jac: I mean, I know how, I had to purge her from my life completely but Jac: that makes a lot of sense Jesse: you're fuming about the boyfriend and I get it Jesse: but who else had she got Jac: I'm not fuming at him Jac: like I wasn't actually fuming at Isabelle Jac: I know it's my own shit, but that didn't stop me holding it against them because it's easier Jesse: his existence, whatever Jesse: I'm saying everyone needs someone Jesse: it don't mean she doesn't want you Jac: that's the point, she's entitled to date whoever she likes, trust whoever she likes, and she should have that Jac: but when I wasn't enough that left me with no one Jac: and I was pissed at any lad who dated her for supposedly being half of me but still getting 1st place, and pissed at Isabelle for not being half of her but thinking it were the same in any way Jac: It was just Jac: I was angry all the time Jac: and she doesn't need that Jesse: she does if you're gonna do or be fuck all with her Jesse: she needs to know what it were like for you and you need to know what it's like for her Jac: I know Jac: but I don't know if I can open myself up to the possibility of that much hurt again Jesse: if you want me there, I'll be there Jesse: country not the convo Jac: I've been here all of ten seconds Jesse: give a shit Jesse: and bagpipes might be what this track needs, selfish prick Jac: 😂 Jesse: you ain't asked me my thoughts on how fit the Scottish are either Jesse: could be well in Jac: I've already covered that nicely without you, tah Jac: and fuck all people here are Scottish, it's mad Jesse: 👍 Jesse: do me better then Jac: Am I a compulsive liar or what? Jesse: bit strong Jac: I said I was more honest now Jac: and I did say some shit I meant to Jac: but why the fuck couldn't I just Jac: say it Jesse: you can't undo all that straight girl bollocks in a day Jesse: she don't even realise Jac: I just didn't wanna let her down when she said her kids needed best friends Jac: that's as mental as it sounds Jac: fucking hell Jesse: hang on Jesse: what Jac: not kids like current, she's not had a load Jac: when we were friends, the plan was, we go to uni together then we get jobs in the same field and then we have kids and live in the same place so they can be friends forever like us Jac: I am aware male friendships tend not to go that hard Jac: straight girl bollocks Jesse: I dunno what the fuck to say to that Jac: This is what I'm saying Jac: she'll just drop stuff like that Jesse: she wants to doing everything in her life with you forever, that's really gay Jac: only with 🤴🏾🤴🏾 in tow Jac: it'd 🤯 if I suggested we could take the spunk and run Jac: not part of the fairytales, is it Jesse: that's the point Jesse: she wants what she's been conditioned to want Jac: Maybe by year three we'll be sorted Jac: our head of department legit warned us that loads of people split up once they start #realizingthings on this course, like Jesse: right laugh Jac: 🧠 Jac: the laugh is me being able to help anyone's fucked head by the end of this, like Jesse: I dunno, you've helped me a bit Jac: if you write a song about this I'll expect a fucking fat check out of it Jesse: I can get my own straight boy whenever I want Jesse: you ain't special Jac: How dare you Jesse: 🖕😏 Jesse: 🤠 Jac: I should just Jac: never attend lectures and never leave this room Jesse: piss off Jesse: she'd come 👀 Jac: I can't be her maid of honour Jac: something's got to give, at some point Jesse: then don't Jesse: give her the options Jac: well easy in theory Jac: like LOVE ME OR LEAVE isn't an insane thing to throw at someone Jesse: like she hasn't thrown loads of mad shit at you Jac: If I could be more like her, I would Jac: 1000% she's not sat in her room freaking out right now Jac: she just does and says what she wants and moves on Jac: I do none of the above Jesse: how's that working out for her? Jesse: she sounds buzzing to me Jesse: not fucked up at all Jac: We're both insane Jesse: when you met her she was crying in a bathroom Jesse: just saying Jac: I remember, thank you very much Jac: I feel like I was a fucking predator Jac: like I knew she was vulnerable or some shit Jesse: don't start Jac: If I'd focused on being a better friend Jac: none of this would've happened Jac: just saying Jesse: you wanna be more honest, you said Jesse: how is suppressing how you feel and friendzoning yourself doing her any favours Jac: She said I always say the right things, when it matters Jac: it worked Jac: 'til it didn't Jesse: the right things for her Jesse: stop being a dickhead and say the right things for you Jac: but Jac: fuck me, you know Jesse: we all take the piss out of Jude but she's the happiest for doing it, deny it Jac: if you want me to do anything, saying I'll be like Jude is a bad tactic Jesse: it ain't about what I want Jac: yeah well Jac: reckon our time is up Jesse: bit rude Jac: I told you at the top you had half an hour Jesse: she's kept you waiting years Jesse: might make it forever if you're right about the best friend babies bollocks Jac: you wanna have a word with your own mixed messages Jac: first you want me to tell her everything, now you want me to stand her up Jesse: you fucking heard me say slow it down Jesse: that's not spilling owt in a changing room, Jackie Jesse: sort your head out Jac: Don't call me that Jac: and don't be pissy 'cos your advice has gone in about 20 different directions Jac: it's a confusing situation, I did not need you to mansplain that to me Jesse: shots fired, Jacqueline 🤠 Jesse: I ain't got the full story and neither have you Jesse: can't do nowt about that personally Jac: that's why I'm going to go see her now Jac: I'm touched, you're so upset about me leaving Jac: but I'll be back at Christmas Jesse: I ain't about to leg it from my emotions Jesse: I can say I'm upset Jac: No shit Jac: your bread and butter Jac: I'm gonna get paid for understanding other people's, not my own Jesse: I just Jesse: not again, you know Jac: I'm fine Jac: seriously Jesse: Dad ain't entered the chat Jesse: you can't fob me off with no fine Jac: this wasn't a 'meant to call the samaritans, called you by mistake' situation though Jac: I really am Jac: no real emergency here Jesse: alright, but if takes longer than 2 years to get a word out of you should this go tits up again, I'll be fuming Jac: you should say you enjoyed the peace and quiet Jesse: it was shit Jac: I know Jesse: I'm chuffed you get to have another crack at it but Jesse: trying to write some less angsty bollocks here Jac: I've got to see it through regardless Jac: we all know that Jac: she's here, we're on the same friggin' course, there's no ignoring it now Jesse: well yeah Jesse: just if you could gimme 😁 or 😍 for next summer, I'd have a hit Jac: if you can get your own straight boy, you can get your own 😁 or 😍 Jesse: you really need to have a word with yourself about this aversion you've got to inspiring me Jac: you'll be on the list of top users with me if you don't stop stealing people's angst and heartbreak for dollar Jesse: soz I don't have my own Jac: ugh Jac: go away now, bastard Jesse: 👍 Jesse: good talk Jac: was passable, anyway Jesse: have Jude rate it /10 Jac: she gets the room to herself Jac: she owes me rn, not you Jesse: what rating's she got Sav on? Jac: She's not dare do that in years Jesse: if she knew it'd be - figures Jac: again, using our sister's poor taste is nothing but affirming Jac: she doesn't like you, by the way Jesse: Jude? Jac: Ha, no Jac: Savannah Jesse: knew that Jac: Well it cheered me up a great deal Jesse: fancying both me and you would be a headfuck too far for her Jac: Don't be disgusting Jesse: it would Jesse: especially as she only likes lads if they're exactly right Jac: Boring, is what you mean Jesse: safe Jac: lacking personality Jesse: long as they make up for it in looks Jesse: so she can take a good 📸 Jac: ew Jac: not even Jac: they look like male versions of her, which is to say less refined and nowhere near as pretty Jesse: psychoanalyse that Jac: don't take a degree Jac: if they look like her, they look like her dad Jac: or her ma, whichever way she's feeling it Jac: then she can do it right and no one gets hurt Jesse: 🤢 Jac: 🤷 Jac: don't judge Jac: 'cos ours have only fucked you up in ways that make you decent enough at 🎶 that it's worth it Jesse: tah for giving 'em all the credit Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: come off it Jac: you get enough general acclaim Jesse: sound more thrilled Jac: If you think I'm about to express an emotion for you Jesse: not that thick Jesse: finished school and everything me Jac: I was there Jac: believe it or not Jesse: 👻 Jac: 🙄 Jac: something like that Jesse: piss off and see your girlfriend then Jac: 👍