#realized i haven’t giffed this video at all so had to do something ya know

[ryry-gifs]

Who’s It Gonna Be (2017) | dir. Ryan Higa and Jun Sung Ahn

[zackcollins]

love you like there’s no tomorrow || mitch marner

masterlist

Author’s Note: Hi! I know it’s been a while and I apologize for that. I’ve just been in a rough spot mentally so I’ve been having a difficult time focusing on writing. The words haven’t really been flowing, ya know? I’ve been having a better time focusing on playing video games because that numbs my mind more and makes me have to think less and less about what’s going on around me. Anyways... I hope that didn’t feel too real for anyone or depress them too much. sorry if it did. I didn’t mean to upset you. GIF credit to naivelystan!

Warnings: I don’t think there’s anything. But feel free to let me know if you disagree. As always, I’ll happily add a warning for something if you feel something needs to be warned about!

Word Count: 3.6k+

Title: Nobody by Dylan Scott

Additional: Even though the reader is portrayed as being a goaltender for the Leafs, they are gender-neutral! This is my fic and I do what I want. I hope you guys are okay with that. Enjoy this and let me know if you have any ideas for future fics. My ask box is always open for requests!

It was a television timeout nearing the end of the third period. You had skated over to the bench to see if the goalie coach had any advice for you. When he shook his head at your asking, you nodded in approval and turned to your teammates. 

 Mitch, who was sitting right in front of you, immediately pointed behind his goaltender. You lifted your mask and turned to see what was there. You saw a couple of the in-arena employees looking at you, both of whom quickly turned away when they noticed that you were looking at them. You weren't certain but you thought you saw a blush rise on one of their cheeks.

 You raised an eyebrow as you turned back to Mitch.

 “What was that about?” You asked. You took your bottle out of your glove and squirted it over your face, shaking off the excess liquid. 

 “What do you mean ‘what was that about?’” Mitch asked, looking at you quizzically. “The in-arena staff look at you all the time.”

 “I mean, yeah? I do play on this team.”

 Hutch reached over and swatted you with his glove. You looked over at the other goaltender and frowned. “What was that for, Hutch?”

 “They look at you because you’re attractive, you idiot,” Hutch said, rolling his eyes. “That girl Mitch pointed out was talking to her friend about asking you out for drinks after the game.”

 You felt your face heat up as you skated back to the crease. You glanced over to where the girls had been. When you met their gaze, one of them winked at you and the other waved and smiled toothily. You did your best to smile in return but you were fairly certain it came across as awkward or goofy. You certainly knew that your stomach felt awkward or goofy from that exchange, though you couldn’t exactly pinpoint if it was from excitement or from the strange look you could see on Mitch’s face as he lined up for the faceoff to your left. Sighing, you pushed those feelings aside and focused on tracking the puck after Edmonton won the draw.

 The puck cycled along the boards for a few minutes, leaving your teammates hemmed in their zone for a long shift. You heard T.J. say something about how he had been out there for close to two minutes and that everyone else was in a similar boat. You took a deep breath and leaned around Leon, Alexander, and Joe to try to see the puck where Tyson had it at the point. Alexander tapped your left pad, which was the telltale sign that the shot was coming to that side. You mumbled a quick thanks as you readied yourself in the crease. 

 When the shot came, it hit Joe’s ankle and shifted to the right. You stretched your pad and goal stick in that direction hoping that either would make contact with the puck. You looked over after a moment and noticed that the play had continued on to the corner boards. You blinked as you assumed proper positioning to watch the play progress.

 ice save.” You glanced over your shoulder and noticed the referee, Graham Skilliter, standing behind the net. “That’ll make some highlight reels for the next month or so.”

 “Oh,” You said, shifting to the other side of the net to follow the play. “Thanks, bud. It must’ve hit my stick because I didn’t realize I saved it.”

 Edmonton turned the puck over to Hyman who tried to exit the zone but got Tyler Ennis’ stick directly to the skates. He fell and the puck instead skittered over to Mitch who passed it back to Justin, who was standing only about five or six feet in front of your goal crease.

 “I’m sure there'll be a replay on the Jumbotron in about two seconds. Furlatt is calling Ennis for a trip as soon as Edmonton touches the puck again.”

 You nodded and not two seconds later Eric Furlatt blew his whistle because Ethan Bear had touched the puck. You turned to grab his bottle, taking a quick squirt through the cage on your mask. When you turned back around, you glanced up at the Jumbotron. The save was replayed from three different angles, all of which made it look more impressive than the last. You felt a small sense of pride wash over you as you shifted your attention from the video to the score clock. It told you that there were barely over three minutes left in the game. You took a deep breath and readied yourself, even though the faceoff was in Edmonton's end of the ice.

 As soon as the puck dropped, Wayne cycled it around to Jason who passed it back to T.J. T.J. toed the blueline for a moment before he found a lane to shoot. The red light behind Mike Smith lit up and the powerplay unit swarmed T.J. at the sideboards. You banged your stick against the ice a few times as you watched everyone skate down the bench for their fist bumps. T.J. skated over to you, tapping both of your pads with his stick.

 "Figured you needed a goal to win the game," T.J. said, chuckling. "Can't finish a game nill, nill. This isn't soccer."

 You tapped the seat of T.J.'s pants with your goal stick, smiling and chuckling. "Thanks there, bud. I'll do my best to make it count."

 T.J. smiled, leaning in to press his helmet against yours. "That's all any of us ask, bud. For you to try your best. We love you regardless. Mitch especially. I hope you know that."

 A large knot had formed in your throat so all you could do was nod and smile weakly; you hoped that T.J. found that sufficient enough thanks. When T.J. smiled and squeezed your shoulder, you got your answer.

 "What's…" you coughed, clearing your throat. "What's taking them so long to drop the puck?"

 "Smith tweaked something in his knee and needed the training staff to go attend to him."

 "T.J.! (Y/N)! We're ready!" Bogosian called from somewhere behind them.

 "Remember, we're proud of you." T.J. tapped his helmet against yours one last time before skating back to the bench.

 As you readied yourself in the net, you swallowed every emotion that had surfaced during that conversation with T.J. You didn't need to have a breakdown about this right now. Not while you were trying to preserve a 1-0 lead with two minutes fifty-eight seconds left in the game. You could have a breakdown about this when you were in the comfort of your bed at home.

 The last two fifty-eight went by in a blur. You couldn't even tell anyone anything that happened, save for the fact that Edmonton didn't score. How they didn't score, you didn't know. You were almost on autopilot because of how unsuccessful you had been at trying to push your emotions aside. They had crept back in and they were all you were thinking about, no matter how much you should've been focusing on the game. But you were only human. And humans aren't always going to be one hundred percent invested in their job, no matter how much they love it.

 When the team swarmed you at the end of the game, you felt overcome with emotions. It had been an incredibly long time since hockey had made you have such positive overwhelming feelings. Being with Toronto was more than you could've ever hoped for. They loved you more than you could've ever hoped for; you loved them more than you could've ever hoped for. You and the Toronto Maple Leafs were a match made in Heaven.

 "(Y/N), hey," Mitch said, placing his hands on your shoulders. "Why're you crying, bud?"

 "Hmm?" You mumbled, only half tuned into your surroundings. "What was that, Mitchy?"

 "Crying. Why're you doing it?"

 "I'm no--" you stopped when you realized that your eyes were watering and leaking. "Oh. I guess I am, aren't I?"

 "Is everything okay? You're, like, the most brave dude ever. Seeing you crying makes me want to cry." Mitch frowned, grabbing your glove as you both skated off the ice.

 Once you both were down the tunnel, Mitch led you into the empty trainer's room, closing the door behind you. You sat in one of the office chairs and Mitch knelt in front of you, sliding his gloves off and placing them at your feet. Mitch hovered his hands over your pad straps and glanced up at you; you removed your helmet before nodding your approval.

 As Mitch unlaced the straps, you slid your hands out of your glove and blocker. You placed them in your lap, running a hand through your hair and shaking it loose of sweat when it came out.

 Mitch moved your pad off, placing it on the ground to his left. He moved his hand down to your skate, carefully working on unlacing the boot.

 "I asked you a question, ya know," Mitch said without looking up.

 "You did?" You replied, genuinely confused. "I must've zoned out between getting off the ice and now because I don't remember what it was."

 Mitch patted your knee before he slid your skate off. He placed the skate sideways on top of the pad before moving his attention to the straps of your other pad.

 "I'm not mad at you. You did look really out of it." Mitch fumbled with one of the straps, cursing sharply as he tried to unlace it. When it finally came unlaced, Mitch flipped it off and stuck his tongue out at it. "Fuck you, you stupid strap."

 You scoffed and kicked Mitch with your socked foot. Mitch looked up and stuck his tongue out at you.

 "This is why I never became a goalie," Mitch mumbled as he went back to unlacing the straps. 

 A few moments passed, filled only by Mitch cursing obscenely at your pad straps. Once the last strap was unlaced and the pad was off and to Mitch's side, Mitch puffed his chest before reaching down to start unlacing your other skate.

 "Anyways. I asked you before if everything was alright. You were crying and you never cry."

 You swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair.

 "Ye… Yeah. I'm grand, bud," you said, though you knew even a dead man could hear that you were lying.

 Mitch looked up, pursed his lips, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

 "Ye… no. No, I'm not sure." You slouched in the chair, dropping your head into your hands. "A few things that happened in the period confounded me at the end there."

 Mitch placed your skate sideways on your other pad before he stood from his kneeling position. He motioned his hands up a couple of times. You got the hint, raising your arms above your head. Mitch grabbed your helmet, glove, and blocker and placed them on one of the pads. When he turned back to you, he lifted your jersey over your head, draping it over the back of the chair. Mitch then unhooked your chest protector and dropped it atop your goalie pads. Once all of your equipment was out of the way (save for your pants), Mitch sat in your lap and wrapped his arms around your neck. You swallowed a nervous breath as you wrapped your arms around Mitch's midsection.

 "Care to share what those things were?" Mitch asked, burying his head in the crook of your neck. "I'm willing to listen to whatever the problem is."

 You nodded, clearing your throat. "After Hutch said that girl wanted to ask me for drinks, I made eye contact with her and her friend on my way back to the crease." You felt Mitch's heartbeat falter a little. To compensate for that, you ran your hands slowly along Mitch's ribcage. "Something weird fluttered in my stomach. I'm just not sure if it was from her winking and her friend waving or from you looking like you wanted to murder someone after seeing what they did."

 "Mmm," Mitch mumbled, his heartbeat faltering a little more. "I know what I want the answer to be."

 You ignored Mitch and continued with your explanation. "Then, at the end of the period, I was overcome by the fact that there's no place I'd rather be than in Toronto." Mitch's heartbeat began to even out a little after you said that. You hummed as you reached up and unlatched Mitch's helmet, sliding it off and dropping it at Mitch's feet. You pressed a soft kiss on Mitch's forehead; Mitch's heartbeat suddenly spiked again. You brought your hands down and ran them softly along Mitch's ribcage. "You guys all love me more than I could've ever hoped for; I love you guys more than I could've ever hoped for."

 "Some more than others." Mitch's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke. His heartbeat had taken to a sporadic beat, almost as if he was nervous or scared of something.

 "What is that--" you started.

 "What did T.J. tell you?" Mitch cut you off, lifting his head to look at his goaltender.

 "Oh, uh…" you mumbled. "All anyone could ask of me was that I tried my best. And that everyone loves me. You especially. But what does--"

 Mitch's only response was to grab your face and pull you in for a kiss. You startled but made no move to push Mitch away. The kiss only lasted a few moments before Mitch pulled back and swatted the back of your head.

 "That. That's what it has to do with anything."

 You felt your entire face and the tips of your ears burn red-hot as you sat there and looked at Mitch. Mitch rolled his eyes and patted your cheek

 "(Y/N), Christ," Mitch said, dropping his head back into the crook of your neck. "I've been flirting with you for months. How have you not noticed yet?"

 "Flirting with me for months…?" You replied, scratching your chin. "Since when?"

 Mitch giggled, vibrating against you. "Every morning when I bring you your coffee."

 "But you--"

 "No, I really don't," Mitch mumbled. "I only bring everyone else coffee after they've asked me to. I bring you your coffee when I buy mine on the way to the arena because I know your order by heart."

 "T-"

 "Two sugar, oat milk, caramel and hazelnut shots. Yeah., bud, I know."

 You ran a hand through Mitch's hair, stopping briefly to soothe his scalp. Mitch hummed, nuzzling closer to you.

 "I know that you like your post-game shower to be exactly seventy degrees and not a degree warmer or colder."

 "Mitchy, I--"

 "Not done yet."

 You promptly shut your mouth and returned to soothingly running your hands along Mitch's ribcage.

 "I know basically nothing makes you angry. Save for people that don't know how to use their signals properly when they're driving."

 "Pisses me off to no end."

 "I know, bud. I know," Mitch mumbled, pressing a kiss to your neck. "You also laugh like a moron at those stupid cat videos on YouTube. And just stupid things cats do in general."

 You chuckled, running a hand through Mitch's hair. "Cat people see cats doing stupid things and we have to laugh. It's the law. Sue me if you don't like it."

 "I never said I didn't like it, you goober."

 "Yeah, yeah Mitchy."

 Mitch hummed, squeezing you tightly. You smiled and squeezed back. Mitch wiggled around a little and hummed some more. He huffed a breath after a moment and curled in on himself. He mumbled something that you didn't hear, prompting you to card your fingers through Mitch's hair.

 "What was that, baby?" You asked, pressing a kiss to Mitch's temple.

 "Said I was gonna love you until the good Lord comes to collect us."

 You froze, staring down at Mitch. "You… you don't even believe all that strongly in God, Mitch."

 "You're right, but I believe that you believe. And that's good enough for me."

 "Mitch, I--"

 "I said I loved you, by the way. Or did you miss that?"

 "Wha…? Oh! Yeah! Sorry," you said, distantly. "It's been a while since I've been someone. Sorry if I'm rusty."

 Mitch chuckled, his breath tickling your neck. "It's fine, (Y/N). I knew it had been a while. That's why I didn't come right out and tell you how I felt. I wanted you to figure it out on your own so you could have enough time to decide if you were ready to date again."

 "Mitch…" you trailed off after your words caught in your throat. You took a moment to gather yourself before continuing. "Of course I'm ready to date again. Nobody is ever gonna love me as you do, baby. You already love me more than my last few partners."

 Mitch sniffled, wiggling around in your lap. You ran your hands along Mitch's ribcage and pressed a kiss to his temple. "It's okay, baby. You're safe with me."

 "I'm gonna love you the only way I know how, (Y/N)," Mitch mumbled, his voice strained at wet. "And that's by doing actionable things. Like bringing you your coffee every morning. Or remembering what temperature you like your post-game shower."

 "Whatever you need to do, I'm okay with. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy."

 Mitch let out a sigh that was soon followed by soft, even breaths that sounded like snoring. You ran your hands along Mitch's hipbone and whispered sweet nothings into his temple. Mitch huffed but didn't awaken. You smiled and pressed a soft kiss where you had been whispering. Mitch mumbled nonsense and smiled in his sleep. A small smile washed across your face as you continued to run your hands along Mitch's hipbone.

 Mitch had been asleep in your lap for ten or fifteen minutes when the door of the trainers' room swung open. Justin was standing on the other side, a relieved look on his face.

 "There you tw--" Justin started.

 Mitch huffed, shifting in your lap. You looked up at Justin and gave him a death glare.

 "Quiet. He's sleeping," you said, voice hushed but stern.

 Justin chuckled, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms over his chest. "Does that mean you finally got your head out of your ass and noticed that Mitch is in love with you?"

 You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. "How many of you knew?"

 "Literally everyone. Except you. Even T-Bear knew. And he's an Oiler now."

 You shook your head and chuckled weakly. "For a goalie, I have a hard time seeing what's right in front of me."

 T.J. appeared beside Justin and smiled triumphantly. "There you are! Keefe is going crazy looking for you and--" T.J. paused and blinked when he noticed what was really in front of him. "Keefe told me Mitch would be with you. But did I believe him? No. Idiot, I am."

 "Yeah, yeah," you mumbled. "I finally got my head outta my ass so Mitch and I are dating now."

 "We… we are…?" Mitch chimed in, his voice groggy from sleep.

 You looked down at Mitch and kissed his forehead. "Yes, baby. We are. I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow."

 Mitch lit up as he reached up and grabbed your face to pull you in for a kiss. You smiled into the kiss, holding onto Mitch's jersey for traction. When you both pulled apart, Justin and T.J. were smiling softly at you from the doorway.

 "We'll tell Keefe we found you," T.J. said, turning around. "But we'll also tell him that our starting goalie and Mitch finally unstuck their heads from the holes in their asses so they need some private time."

 "Th… thanks, Teej," you said, your face and the tips of your ears burning red-hot.

 T.J. turned back long enough to smile before walking away. Justin watched him walk away before he turned back to you and Mitch. He smiled fondly at you both as he pushed off of the door frame.

 "I should get back too," Justin said, motioning over his shoulder. "I don't need Keefe mad at me next." He smiled as he took two steps down the hallway.  "Just know everyone--myself included--is proud of you for tonight's game, (Y/N). You did amazing." Justin walked away but stopped just before the end of the hallway and turned around. "Congratulations on the relationship as well. Everyone is gonna be so stoked for you two.."

 "Thanks, Hollsy," you and Mitch mumbled at the same time as you both watched Justin walk away.

 Once Justin was out of sight, Mitch looked up at you and smiled fondly. You looked down at Mitch and returned the fond smile. You both stared into each other's eyes for a few moments just gazing at the fondness and pure emotion you could each see staring back at the other. When you both looked away, you brought one of your hands up and cupped Mitch's chin, tilting it up and bringing your lips together with Mitch's.

 While they kissed, you felt your entire world coming together. You were happy in Toronto because you loved everyone here more than you could've possibly imagined. Because you loved Mitch more than you could've possibly imagined. You were happy here because everyone loved you more than you could've possibly imagined. Because Mitch loved you more than you could've possibly imagined.

 Everything about Toronto was perfect because everything about Toronto involved Mitch. Mitch was everything to you. You were willing to admit that. Even if it had taken you a while to realize that in the first place. 

 Mitch was everything to you and you were going to love him like there was no tomorrow.

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Second Chances - Mark (Midsommar)

Warning: Major spoilers for the movie, drug use, this fic is dogshite, toxic relationships, and just overall fucked up situations

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif actually)

“Dani, do you really think it’s a good idea to go?”

Dani sighed heavily when you asked that exact question for the fourth time while she was marking her calendar for when their flight to Sweden would take place. “Yes, Y/N. I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

You knew she wasn’t fine.

“I just, I do think getting out of this tiny little apartment would be good for you...but does it have to be on the other side of the world?”

Dani scoffed. “It’s not on the other side of the world, babe, it’s just across the Atlantic.”

“It’s far enough.” You pouted. “Plus, going with that guy isn’t a good idea either.”

“You’ve known Christian as long as you’ve known me, Y/N. You should know his name by now.”

“I do know his name, I just don’t like saying it.”

Dani frowned. “He’s my boyfriend, you’ve gotta learn to accept him at some point.”

You shook your head. “He doesn’t give you what you need, Dani. He’s terrible at supporting you all the time. He’s an asshole.”

“It’s my relationship. Not yours.” Dani snapped, quickly sighing in frustration and sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“No, I’m sorry. I...just want what’s best for you, that’s all.”

Dani smiled weakly, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in for a side hug. “I know, babe, I know. I gotta believe this trip to Sweden is exactly what we need.”

“I really hope so, for your sake.”

Dani subtly wiped away a shed tear off her face, faking a wide smile. “So, did you decide if you wanted to go to the party tonight?”

“Depends, is Mark gonna be there?”

“You know he is.”

“Then no.”

“Come on, Mark’s a good guy.” She’s stifled a chuckle.

“Girl, you can’t even keep a straight face.” You laughed.

“You used to be date him and actually enjoyed spending time with him, ya know.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Please, it’ll be fun! Pelle and Josh will be there too, it won’t just be Mark.”

“Josh is a smart ass who gets on my nerves. I mean, who the hell studies anthropology?”

“Hey!”

“Oh hush, you’re studying psychology.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Okay, Ms. Environmental Scientist.” She said, making you chuckle. “So, are you coming to that party with me or what?”

You didn’t really enjoy going to parties...like, at all. Even if Dani invited you to one, you always made some sort of excuse to get you out of going. But ever since the incident with her family, you felt you needed to spend every waking moment with her, mostly out of fear that you’d lose her forever. You probably spent more time with Dani than her so called boyfriend. 

You felt selfish for feeling pained that Christian was the first one she called when she got the news. You knew her family, actually made an effort to get to know them unlike Christian, and always saw her parents as your own and her sister was always kind to you. You felt like you lost a lot too, but you didn’t allow yourself to feel that way for long, not when they weren’t actually your family. If you were being honest, you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve at all. You spend most of your time taking care of Dani, never having the time to do anything for yourself.

The company Dani kept also was one of the reasons you never wanted to go to one of those parties. Pelle was nice, you could actually see him as a friend. Josh was a know-it-all. To be fair, you were a know-it-all too, but at least you didn’t brag about it every chance you got.

You couldn’t stand Christian. You always saw how awful Christian treated Dani, and how she just took it. One day, you actually almost got into a psychical fight with him for how he gaslighted her. Dani didn’t talk to you for a week after that, and after that, you tried not to let your anger out because you didn’t want to lose your best friend.

Mark...god, Mark could be so annoying. You used to be a couple, it’s true. But after seeing him not do anything about his “best friend” mentally abusing his girlfriend, you couldn’t just stay with him anymore, it just didn’t feel right. Plus, him being way too overprotective was not something that you liked in a person. It was heartbreaking since you actually liked him a lot, you could’ve truthfully say you loved the guy.

You didn’t dislike Mark as much as Christian, but he constantly got on your nerves after your break up. But Dani always reminded you how insecure he must’ve been after the fact. Doesn’t excuse his behavior, of course, but it did help keep your anger in check whenever he tried to push your buttons. If he wasn’t such a dick, you probably would’ve seen an actual future with him, that could’ve been happy.

Yeah...you really didn’t want to go to this party. But seeing Dani’s almost pleading face, you couldn’t argue with her.

So, you were dragged to the last party you would attend before Dani and her friends were shipped off to Sweden, until she got back.

You could see the obviously look of annoyance from Christian when you and Dani entered the apartment. He took Dani to the one of the corner’s of the room and you could faintly hear their conversation, “Why’d you have to bring her, Dani? She almost punched me in the nose last time...”

Your fists clenched instinctively, making your nails dig into the soft flesh. It hurt, but at least it kept you from socking the dude in the face like you’ve always had the urge to do. A dull glared expression settled on your face.

“Aw, is someone happy to see me?”

You immediately rolled your eyes when you heard Mark’s voice, him walking up to you with a shit eating grin plastered on his pale freckled face. “No, I think she’s probably thinking up ways to kill you, friend.” Pelle joked, making you smile a little.

“Honestly, he’s not that far off.” You shrugged, half joking.

Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes, brushing off your hurtful comment with a bitter smile. “Why are you even here? We didn’t invite you.”

“I’m here for Dani.”

“Well, we didn’t explicitly invite her either.” Pelle smacked the boy behind his head so you didn’t have to. “Dude, ow! Hey, it’s not my fault Dani’s a buzzkill.”

Almost as if you could only see red, you were about to punch the ever loving fuck out of his handsome stupid gorgeous face when Christian came up and pulled you out of the room.

“What the fuck do you want?” You hissed, forcibly pushing him away from you.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not looking for a fight. Okay? I have to ask you something.” He sighed.

“Spit it out then.”

“Do you want to come to Sweden with us?” He asked monotone, not hiding the glare directed to you.

“Wow, you must really want me to go.”

“It was Pelle’s idea. He thinks it would be good for Dani.”

“Since when do you care what’s good for Dani? Oh, wait, you don’t. It seems Pelle cares more for her than you do.”

“I care about Dani, okay? I care. That’s the only reason I was convinced to ask you. Please, just...she needs you. She’s your best friend, you don’t want to let her down, do you?”

Gaslighting. You knew that Christian wouldn’t be able to convince you without his number one douchebag power to make your heart bleed more than it already does. He didn’t even have to ask a second time.

And next thing you knew, you were on a plane headed to Sweden. Of course, they had to torture you with booking you a seat next to Mark. But you could handle it for Dani.

“God, I can’t wait to see all those Swedish ladies.” Mark mused, a slight smirk on his face, knowing that comment would upset you.

If those Swedish ladies had any sense, they’d stay away from the giant man completely, is what you wanted to say. But deciding to keep your comments to yourself, you just tried not to gag, rolling your eyes and keeping your eyes trained out the window, seeing the ground getting farther and farther away until your flying above the clouds.

“Silent treatment, huh? I always took you for a social butterfly.” He teased.

You took a deep breath, turning to look at him with a sickeningly sweet smile. “You do know there’s a mosquito flying around your head, right?”

The smirk on Mark’s face quickly went away, turning into a panicked expression. “Where? Where?” He almost shouted, flailing his arms around his head to swat away the imaginary insect. His panic made you laugh. You felt evil, but you convinced yourself he deserved it. When he heard you laugh, he quickly realized you lied. “Not fucking funny.” He pouted, running his hands through his hair, still paranoid.

You sighed when he kept a frown on his face, still looking around for that fake fly. “I swear, there’s no fly. This is the cleanest plane I’ve ever seen in my life, okay? There wouldn’t be any bugs in here.” You never could stay mean for long, even if it was Mark. The small grateful smile Mark gave you made it worth it, and suddenly felt your heart yearn for him against your will.

Many hours later and you finally arrived in Stockholm, only to be told you guys had to travel four more hours to get to Hälsingland. “Oh my god!” Mark whined, like a little bitch you might add.

Thankfully, you always came prepared, sticking some ear buds in and blasting music at full volume to avoid possible small talk and annoying remarks from the two frat bros. You really loved your preparedness after taking your ear buds out for one second only to hear Mark talking about seeing some video about a woman with three clits, what a moron, a cute moron...

You looked at the time, it was nearing 6 pm, but the sky was still blue as ever. It was a bit unnerving, but you tried to ignore the sense of dread you felt when you guys finally arrived to one of your destinations.

You tried not to laugh as Mark pulled his socks over his jeans and walking in a panic to try to avoid potential insect threats in the grass. “Dude, just fucking walk!” Josh fussed.

“Don’t you see all the bugs?!”

“I’m sure all those bugs are much more terrified of you than you are of them.” You voiced.

“Yeah, well, what if they’re so scared that they gang up to attack me in retaliation, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, speeding up your pace to catch up with Dani. Pelle introduced his friend, Ingemar, and his friends, Simon and Connie. They seemed like good people, until they pulled out the shrooms.

It’s not like you hated drugs, you smoked pot pretty much every other day before bed, but shrooms looked hardcore compared to grass. You did not want to partake. But Dani surprised you when she accepted the offer of the tea. “Do you think that’s a good idea, Dani?” You asked concerned.

“She can think for herself.” Christian voiced with a happy and calm tone, but you didn’t mistake the threatening undertone in his voice.

“Hey, it’s okay. Promise.” Dani reassured. You just didn’t want her to have a bad trip or anything, it’s not what she needed, as if you actually knew what she needed. You didn’t even know what you needed half the time. “Are you going to?” She asked, her hand holding onto the bag of shrooms outstretched to you.

“Oh, no. I’m good.” You backed away slightly.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Mark asked mockingly. “You gonna be a pussy?”

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance. If only looks could kill...You grabbed the bag, popping a couple mushrooms in your mouth, immediately cringing in disgust at the taste. You chewed quickly and swallowed, almost regretting the action as soon as you did so. Since when was Mark of all people able to successfully peer pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do? The fuck?

“There’s a nice place to sit over here, guys!” Pelle voiced, motioning the group over to a tree in the middle of the field.

It didn’t take that long for the drugs to kick in. You’d never taken shrooms before, but you definitely noticed when you came up due to how the world around you was starting to look warped, almost like nature was breathing. You felt more appreciative of nature in that moment, and with Pelle talking all philosophical like, it wasn’t hard to relax into the sweet embrace of the drug.

You looked over to Dani, she was the most calm you’ve ever seen her, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing. You snapped out of the thought, not wanting to hyper focus on a drug. “Oh fuck, a new person.” Christian groaned.

“What? I don’t want new people right now!” Mark whined.

“Now who’s being a pussy.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear it.

“I’m going lay down. Everyone else lay down too.” Mark settled on the ground, still breathing heavily. “Guys, do it, it feels so nice. Josh, Y/N, can you lay down please?”

“Fuck off.” You spat while Josh did as he was asked.

“Y/N, please, lay down.” You furrowed your brows when you heard the desperation in his voice, almost like he was going to cry.

“Jesus, fine.” You huffed, laying down on the soft grass.

The sun shining through the leaves of the trees was enough to put you back into a relaxed state, almost giggling at the warped rays of light. “This is nice...” You whispered to yourself.

You jolted when Dani stood up all of a sudden. “I need to go for a walk.” Dani voiced, the waver in her voice clear as day to you.

“Dani, are you okay?” You stood up, wobbling slightly, Dani’s figure waving as she walked away.

“Fine, I’m fine.”

You wanted to follow her, but were you capable enough to give her support if you were high as a kite? It didn’t matter at the point. You probably stood there trying to decide for about five minutes before you actually starting walking in the same direction Dani went, but then it was too late. You didn’t see her anywhere.

Walking into the woods, you immediately got lost in nature, enjoying the colors that seemed to be amplified from the drug. You smiled to yourself, not even the arms wrapping around your shoulders could force your mouth to pull downwards. “Hi.” Mark whispered, giggling as he tightened his embrace.

“What?”

“What?”

You turned yourself around in his arms. “Why’d you follow me?”

“I’m not allowed to see what my friend is doing out in the woods?”

“I’m looking for Dani, and we’re not friends.”

Mark pouted. “We used to be more than friends. Why’d we ever break up?”

You frowned. “Cause you excused Christian’s behavior towards Dani. Plus, you were always a dick.”

“Rude. And to be fair, I’ve been trying to convince Christian to break up with her. They should’ve called it quits awhile ago.”

“The first thing you’ve said in your entire life that’s actually correct. How’re you an undergrad again?” 

If you were sober, you would have never let Mark lean in and kiss you. At least, that’s what you hoped you would’ve done. But his lips were so soft and he was so gentle, you almost wished you were sober to experience the kiss better. It almost felt nostalgic in a way, even though it hadn’t been that long since you two broke up. You had to stop yourself from leaning back in for more when he pulled away.

“You reciprocated.” Mark smiled softly, caressing your face gently.

“Did I? I didn’t mean to, sorry.”

“I miss you, Y/N, a lot. I know you miss me too.” He whispered.

You shook your head and quickly walked away, not feeling like talking about...well, your feelings. Sobering up quickly after that, you kicked yourself for allowing that to happen, even if you happened to enjoy it very much.

You pretty much avoided Mark after the encounter in the woods, you were too awkward to confront your problems with other people, in that regard anyway. But thankfully, six hours after finding Dani peacefully sleeping off the drugs, it was time to hike through even more woods to get to Pelle’s village. 

“So, we’re stopping in Waco before we go to Pelle’s village?” Mark joked.

Yeah, the all white clothing everyone wore did put you off just a bit, almost giving you Jonestown vibes. But they were so nice, taking your bags and giving you strawberries. They seemed like okay people.

You looked over to Mark, rolling your eyes as you saw him exhale smoke from his vape pen. Even in the presence of strangers, he still had no respect apparently. Josh even had to stop him from eating prematurely during one the first meals of the day. The ritualistic part confused you, but you just wrote it off as culture shock.

Sitting in between Dani and Pelle, you almost hit yourself for not remembering a very important fact. “Happy birthday, Dani!” You grinned. “I can’t believe I forgot, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” Dani rubbed your shoulder. “Pelle actually gave me a drawing, which was incredibly sweet.” She said, causing him to have a slight blush on his face.

“I actually did get you something, but it’s in my luggage. Make sure to remind me tonight. But what about Christian?” Dani frowned. “He forgot...of course he did.”

“It’s not his fault. I forgot to remind him, that’s all.”

“Dani, you shouldn’t have to remind him.” You scoffed. “Let’s just hope he remembers soon, else I’ll have to castrate him.”

“Anyway, what’s up with you and Mark? You’ve been avoiding him ever since we hiked here.” She whispered.

You internally groaned. “I always avoid Mark.” Dani just gave you an unimpressed look. “Can you like, stop being a mind reader for once in your life?” You whined.

“What happened?”

You sighed, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “We kissed...” You quickly put your hand over her mouth to stop her from squealing like a school girl. “Shh. It was when we were both high. Didn’t mean anything, at all.”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right?”

The conversation didn’t sway your decision to not stop avoiding Mark, you were going to avoid him for as long as possible and not even Dani could convince you to do otherwise. But you kept thinking about that kiss, and you suddenly found yourself wondering if there was any shock therapy places in Sweden.

Walking around the village a bit more by yourself to try and get some more bearings, Pelle joined you with his usual calming smile. “How are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s pretty interesting, I’d say. Living in New York never really gave me opportunities to be in nature, so this is great. I probably never wouldn’t come if it weren’t for you, Pelle.”

Pelle nodded. “I felt it was best for Dani, considering. She needs someone she can count on.”

“Yeah. It’s great that you’re looking out for her, it’s like you should be with her instead of Christian.” You cringed. “Oh god, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Damn it.”

Pelle chuckled nervously. “It’s okay. Speaking of couples, are you and Mark-”

“Nope.” You quickly interrupted. “Not a chance.”

He hummed in thought. “I don’t mean to pry. It’s just, he told me about what happened...”

You groaned. “That little shit.”

"You know, I think you should give him a second chance."

You laughed. "That came out of nowhere."

"No. It didn't. Mark has always had a thing for you. And I probably shouldn’t tell you this but, he always talks about how he regrets how things went between you two. He still cares about you.”

You frowned, the feeling of missing the bastard starting to bubble up in your heart. “We weren’t good for each other. He needs to grow up.”

“Yes, I do agree he’s...a bit immature.” 

“An understatement, Pelle.” You snorted.

“Personally, I am a big believer of second chances. I just think what if I die tomorrow, would I be happy with my choices in life? You never know when that time will come.”

“Jesus, since when have you been so dark?”

“I’m serious, Y/N. You don’t know when you’re gonna die, so I’d try to live life without regrets.” He smiled calmly.

You kept thinking about what Pelle said well into the night. You had trouble getting over the creepiness of his statements at first, but you knew he meant well. You did miss Mark, more often than you’d admit. You hated that you kind of agreed with Pelle about the whole regret thing.

The next morning, you woke up with a terrible headache. Thinking way too hard for hours on end wasn’t good for your brain. But, it did give you some perspective on how you’d go about interacting with Mark. You admitted to yourself that you did want to be with him, but you also didn’t want to rush into giving him another chance, knowing that just a smidge of eagerness would give the man an overinflated ego.

“What was the name of that activity you said last night, Pelle?” Dani asked.

“Ättestupa.” He answered.

“Sounds fun.” You said, half joking. “Wish we knew what was going to happened, but you seem to love surprises.” You directed to Pelle, a cheeky smile on your face.

From afar, Mark couldn’t help but glare at Pelle. To anyone one else, you were just being friendly, and if Mark had any sense at all, it would’ve just been a friendly smile to him too. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but even he knew he had no right to be jealous since you two weren’t together. Maybe that was his problem, he thought, being too overprotective when you were in a relationship with him. God, he knew being an immature bastard would bite him in the ass one day. He just didn’t realize someone important to him would be scared away in the process.

The brief eye contact the two of you made threw you for a loop, that sense of longing for one another.

“Can you two stop eye fucking each other, please?” Josh voiced rudely. Strangely, it didn’t phase the two of you. Josh only rolled his eyes. “Fine. Miss breakfast then.”

You eventually forced yourself to look away from Mark, the both of you following the rest of group outside for the meal. Of course, the only seat left was next to Mark. How convenient...

Mark was silent as you stood next to him, taking short glances at you and the ground nervously. “Somebody should tell those girls they’re walking stupid.” He joked, trying to lift some of the tension. It didn’t work. 

A boy rung a bell, an old man and woman walked two their assigned seats, and everyone only sat down until they did. Another rack of culture shock moved through you were the couple started chanting in what you assumed was Swedish, but it was honestly hard to tell.

After that, you just ate your food in silence. You were annoyed that you were too awkward to even look in Mark’s direction. But eventually, he cleared his throat to speak. “Did you sleep well?”

It was odd, hearing him sound so timid and quiet. “Uh, I guess so. I don’t really remember falling asleep.” You chucked nervously.

“So...yesterday-”

“Please, don’t.” You interrupted with a huff.

“I think we should talk about it at least.”

You bit your lip in thought, silently agreeing with him. “Not right now. Maybe after, whatever Ättestupa is. Okay?”

He sighed, nodding his head. “Fine. Fine.”

Mark stayed behind as you, your friends, and the rest of the Hårga journeyed to wherever this activity was taking place. You all were standing at the bottom of a cliff, waiting. “What’s this activity supposed to be?” You asked, but no one gave you an answer.

You sighed, crossing your arms around yourself. Whatever was supposed to happen was taking a long time, you almost felt bored. But soon you really wished you’d stayed behind with Mark back at the village.

Everyone watched as the old woman stood at the edge of the cliff, holding her arms outstretched to the sky. You could sense Dani hyperventilating, and you also felt a feeling of dread. You had no idea what was happening, and it scared you.

You let out a loud gasp as the woman fell from the cliff, her body falling onto a stone platform below, her face hitting it hard enough to completely mutilate any recollection that this woman was a human being once. Her face was caved in, it almost didn’t feel real.

You were in silent shock, not comprehending anything else around you, even with how loud Simon and Connie were freaking out.

All you could do was watch as the old man did the same, walking off the cliff and hitting the platform leg first.

“Oh my god, he’s still alive...”

All of the Hårga cried out when they saw the poor man was still alive, sharing his pain that he must’ve been feeling. A few members of the village ended his suffering, taking a large mallet and caving in his face like his partner in the senicide.

One of the elders, Siv, said that taking their own lives was a great joy and that this ritual had been done for many years. You couldn’t believe how barbaric these people were when they were so nice at first. Why were all these people so unfazed by seeing their own people die violently in front of them?

All you could do was follow everyone to the village in silence. You did the same as Dani. You needed to be by yourself right now. You sped walked to the woods surrounding the village, leaning against a tree in exhaustion. Did that really happen, you asked yourself. 

You slid down to the ground as you let the tears start flowing. You didn’t want to be in this place anymore, how could you? You thought back to what Pelle said. He knew that the ritual was happening and he didn’t warn you guys at all. Why would he do that?

“Y/N?” You heard a voice call out. You didn’t answer, you didn’t trust your voice not to come out distorted from your sobbing. Finally making his way through the clearing, Mark saw you hugging yourself on the ground in tears. “Are you okay? I...heard about what happened.”

“No. No, I am not okay. I just saw two people jump to their fucking deaths!” You tried not to cry.

Mark was never good an emotional support, so he simply walked over and sat next to you as you cried. You didn’t know how he managed to pull you onto his lap without you noticing, but you didn’t find it in yourself to care, so you just held onto him like your life depended on it. You didn’t want him to let you go.

“I wanna leave this place...” You mumbled.

“I think that’s understandable.”

“How’s Dani? Did you see her at all?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“I don’t want to leave without her. I gotta find her.” You wiped the leftover tears from your cheeks, standing up with along with Mark. “Will you come with us?”

Mark didn't expect you to ask that. “You want me to go with you?”

“I have a bad feeling about this place. I don’t want any one of us to stay here, but I want you and Dani to come with me at least. I...I still care about you too.” Mark blushed as soon as you said that, making you chuckle lightly. “Seeing those poor people die...I don’t want to live with regrets, I already have enough of those. I don’t want to give up on us without trying to make things work. I admit, I gave up on you too easily. I don’t want to do that again. Okay?”

Mark couldn’t help himself, he soon planted a passionate kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, you weren’t afraid of opening yourself up to him anymore. You wanted him, you’ve always wanted him. It just took a rough wake up call to remind you of that.

You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, standing on your tip toes to meet his lips easier. You felt safe in his arms, him holding you so close that the world and the messed up situation you both were in seemed to fade away. But you knew you were limited on time. You both pulled away breathlessly, wearing smiles on your faces.

“I love you.” Mark said, shocking you. “What? Live life without regrets, right?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I love you.”

“Now, let’s get outta here.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I left it open ended on purpose. I’d like to think that they escaped the Hårga. But if they didn’t, at least they’re together lmao. 

Whenever I feel bad that Mark died in the movie, I just think to how he must’ve put up a fight since that cunt who led him away had a busted lip. Did he deserve it? Yes, probably. But...but...he was a cutie pie🥺

Also, I’m trying to write a fic with Kenny from We’re The Millers, but IT’S SO HARD. Kenny, in general, is hard to write since he’s so...well...himself. Another thing is that the plot is all over the place and my mind keeps bouncing between a bunch of ideas so, it’s literally starting to look like gibberish. But i’m trying

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E06 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

hhh everything went wrong with my reaction video this time - the video is lagging (so i replaced the screenrecording with the actual episode), also facecam broken so my friends won’t get to see me tearing up and the wrong mic input was recorded so I’m sorry for the shitty quality. I’m so upset :(

Edit: Google Drive Link! :)

.

I don’t even know what to really talk about because I liked everything?? it was such a good episode and I just... AHHH. I wish we had so much more of THIS. please give them more seasons.... ik its already too late for that but pleaseee fidusdj- they just... do so well when they adapt imo. the whole comparison panels I’ve seen of the interactions with Norman, I just... genuinely think it’s such a highpoint and they did so friggin well.

I just... I’m so sad this will likely be the last season. I hope we’ll get more, in whatever form. I know there’s the manga and unless we get an announcement about more anime content at light speed, I do plan on reading it! I just... I love the anime. And it’s art. The manga’s art is unique but the style isn’t my jam and some stuff just looks a bit too stylized for my liking hhhh-

That won’t stop me but... it does make me emotional, I guess.

Let’s hope they stay on this path now that they’ve joined back in with the manga, somewhat (still, you couldnt even give them 12 episodes??).

.

. the reunion

It gave me flutters!! it’s so nice and intimate and sweet and dusdhj- THE NORMAN SQUISH. And him noticing Emma’s ear is gone TvT Her sweet, kinda embarrassed “I left it back at home” efiojsd

also the clothing line here separates the two groups, alluding to the conflict between them later in the episode. They’re strangers on two sides, and Norman is the only connecting piece.

I didn’t really dislike anything aside from Ray being left out. I just wanted them both to run for him I guess :( though it makes sense to be more distant, he also was at the shipment itself but idk, it just makes Norman seem so,,, rude that he doesn’t acknowledge Ray at all until Emma is like “hey btw I brought him too” :”D

Slap kinda deserved, on multiple fronts haha-

Though the mutual “baka” calling between Norman and Ray was adorable duihdasjdas

.

. Emma’s arc

a few days ago, I made that whole “anime emma’s arc” post about her feeling useless and how that might come into play - and I do hope they address it and I think they kind of are? Because GF arc Emma was always ready to have her way, even if it seemed impossible.

Either way, I feel like part of why she didn’t speak up is kind of as alluded to, that she doesn’t feel like she has the right to when she doesn’t know any other way right now. And I hope that in the next few episode we will see her headstrong and do things and be pro-active and kind of challenge that and Norman.

.

. Norman (+ his crew)

It was kind of on the nose when Norman held that whole speech about what she had said before, a small hint to it would have been enough I feel like, for the audience -- because I think realizing that part of his motivation in all of this was just her words and that he wanted to do that for her (I think that’s the implication) is really sweet. He is kind of the carrier here and I hope that will change because it feels like we haven’t earned this bio weapon at all - which is okay, because it probably won’t be the solution, so it’s more of a plot-moving element than an actual solution. And I hope that whatever the solution really does entail will feel less like an ass-pull and more deserved.

I feel it may have been interesting to have a pov switch somewhere in ep4 or ep5 to Norman and what he’s been up to. The reveal was kind of “...? okay?” anyway so I feel like that would have made things a little interesting, but I also really enjoy getting to know his squad now.

I’m also HIGHKEY SUS (all alarm bells are ringing) at Norman being like “Oh I just did tests” like.... BABY. PRECIOUS SON, ARE YOU PRETENDING EVERYTHING’S FINE AGAIN?

The fact that Norman didn’t bother explaining further just solidifies (to me, anyway) that he’s avoiding talking about it somewhat. He spoke about it very distantly and from an objective viewpoint.

Alone getting that tattoo on his chest must have hurt a lot. So. Please, give me a lot of angst, CW.

I hope both him and his crew will get some flashbacks or trauma moments to really solidify how badly they’ve been treated (and deliver some juicy angst).

I really loved the close-up on the meat Barbara was eating in that scene too. I felt like it didn't even have to spell it out for us that they're eating demon meat but. Oh well - it was well conveyed but I guess the characters had to confirm.

I also love that whole part about how he’s always cold to them auidhjhs - I really do feel like making a gif out of that haha.

Lambda person: “Boss?” Norman: “What? :/” Emma/Ray: “Norman!” Norman: “Yes? :)”

Also only vaguely related but what’s with people who are made to be eaten, in a state of “dead??? who knows” and then coming back as a “boss” :D Yes I’m talking about beastars.

.

. Mujika

Norman called her the “evil-blooded girl” and the old guy called the temple “evil-blooded” too. And he said it wasn’t a place for kids to be --- and he likely assumed that they were demon kids.

Also some nice clue before we even know to connect Mujika with the temple.

A demon temple that’s “evil-blooded” and too dangerous for demon kids?

It could just be because it’s a ruin, but he IS praying for the world to change there. Mujika seems to be able to maintain her form without eating humans, so maybe that’s what this is all aiming towards.

I guess it also means that the statue with the violet veil is Mujika??? She does have purple hair I suppose.

At first, I was surprised that Norman recognized her just by the description - there’s more than one demon girl :D but I guess only one demon girl who doesn’t need to eat humans? - and I thought he may have crossed paths with her.

But for that to be the case AND for him to assume she’s alive because Emma and Ray have met her, it can’t mean he actually MET her. Because well, RayEm met her like 2 months after his shipment. Assuming he didn’t break out immediately, he couldn’t have met AND tried to do something to her (likely kill). So my guess is that she’s some sort of legend or diety or just like, commonly known and she’s supposedly dead and he’s shocked because she isn’t.

He also first asked “where did you hear about that?” assuming he also only heard about it. Norman's reaction to them having met them also isn't "when?" (so he could confirm if it was after or before his supposed encounter with her), it's shock that they met her AT ALL. Which to me, implies that she's supposedly dead (which lines up with the temple in ruin, so something happened to her line, or whatever she's a part of). And since Norman couldn't have met her before their escape (Mujika hasn't seen a human when they meet the GF escapees), that's my conclusion.

Assuming she’s dead also makes sense since her (religion’s) temples seem to be in ruin. maybe that’s why no other demons seem to have that ability (that we know of), because it was lost when her presence was destroyed (therefore the ruins) or something of the sort.

She’s never seen a human before apparantly though, so I’m not sure what exactly that means. She doesn’t seem to have wanted freedom for humans prior to meeting them either (she only seemed hesitant about eating them after all that), so I’m not sure what her own motivation in having that sort of religion would even be.

There’s of course also sonju, so maybe it is after all a religion-thing? Who knows-

.

As I’ve talked about before, I think it makes a lot of sense if the demons are part of the solution, I’m just really curious what that solution actually entails for the demons / what exactly Mujika is. I still think it’s plausible that another promise between Mujika and Emma will happen, considering the narrative mirroring TPN does a lot.

.

. other random stuff

there’s mass production farms! I shouldn’t be surprised, but I hope we get to know more about those (likely not since yknow 5 episodes left and all that)

I also liked how they showed the different plants while talking about it, mirroring how we too mutated plants and some animals to further benefit our needs and exploitation...

The pep talk from Ray was good and the sunrise was SO BEAUTIFUL, TAKE ME NOW ANIMATORS

generally the animation, especially in the trio scene and the lambda squad hideout scenes, was so BEAUTIFUL

I liked that I kept joking about how the WM system was rly insecure if a random guy just dropped the pen for Krone to find, but NOW WE HAVE CONFIRMATION IT WAS INTENTIONAL and Smee is truly the MVP / big brain puppet master of this series.

It did seem kind of weird that Norman just left like "yeah this will probably be discovered soon. anyway, I'm leaving you here to go to my base, see ya" - LIKE BRO TAKE THEM WITH YOU SO YOU CAN PROTECT THEM IF THEY SHOW UP LIKE, TONIGHT

[irrefutablemuchness]

Sorry I just gotta say because I don't think it's really resonating with anyone else....... why Gook is so harsh and hurtful after Tae Joo's confession. It's my understanding that Gook is very sure of how he feels. He's had feelings for Tae Joo for a long time and he's been actively ignoring them. And for a LOT of reasons, these feelings are a major inconvenience, one reason being the fact that Gook is not Tae Joo's friend, he's doing a job. Another BIG reason is because Tae Joo is literally in a position in life that makes him being able to properly reciprocate those feelings impossible, allow me to elaborate on why.

TJ has no substantial relationships with anyone at all aside from Gook. His relationship with his father is nonexistent, his mother is gone and has been for probably quite a long time, he seems to have no real friends, and doesn't seem to have any interest in developing a relationship with a girl. The only person in TJ's life that is consistent and knows him on a personal level is Gook. Assuming that TJ has been living this way as long as Gook has known him, it is very safe to say that TJ would have absolutely no idea how to have any sort of close relationship with someone else. His habit of picking up girls is more a hobby than a pursuit of emotional fulfillment if the way he talks about it is any indication, and the only form of intimacy we see him receive ever is tied to memories of his mother. On top of all of this, his closest friend is also someone who's been hired to take care of him, their relationship is built on obligation, not emotion. All this to say, TJ's understanding of close personal relationships and his ability to identify and understand the emotions tied to them would be pretty much nonexistent given the circumstances.

So when it comes to Gook, we already know that TJ is possessive because Gook is literally his property. Gook serves him, whether he wants to or not, and pretty much whatever TJ says goes. I assume this is why they share a bed, I get the feeling TJ requested it and Gook is obligated to do what he says. The possessiveness makes a lot of sense. Then you throw in the fact that Gook is the only person TJ has ever had a close personal relationship with. It's pretty simple to see how one could think they have feelings for somebody in a situation like this one. So then we get a confession, and Gook freaks out. Here's why that is so incredibly valid.

Gook is seen as a companion AND possession by TJ. Gook is used as a source of comfort and intimacy that TJ would otherwise never receive. Up to this point all TJ has ever does is tease Gook and then pretend nothing happened. Gook has been a proper and obliging servant for 15 years, and then all of a sudden someone shows up and starts to take Gook away from TJ a bit. Only then does TJ start to act different and only then does TJ tell Gook about his feelings. All things considered, there is no reason that Gook should think that TJ actually means what he says, there's no reason Gook shouldn't assume TJ isn't properly identifying his feelings. In my eyes, Gook's lashing out is because he's worried that TJ is mistaken about his own feelings just because for the first time something has changed between them and for a moment Gook didn't belong solely to him. In the confusion of that change it seems perfectly reasonable to me that TJ could panic and mistake his fear at losing Gook as a constant in his life with romantic feelings and jealousy. Gook isn't pushing TJ away because he's scared of ruining their relationship, he's pushing him away because he doesn't think TJ's feelings are as real as his and any minute now TJ will realize his mistake and change his mind but Gook's feelings will still be there. It would be humiliating.

Granted, as an audience member I don't think TJ's feelings are misplaced. I think his feelings are genuine, but TJ has no skill for handling those emotions. If he were to act on them it would be detrimental to their relationship. It would be the same obligatory master-servant relationship they have except with an added layer of romantic and/or sexual tension that could be extremely harmful and abusive, because TJ does not know how to have a relationship with someone as an equal. First step to getting our lovely couple to a happy relationship would be for that master-servant dynamic to end so they can be partners.

With all of that in mind, that is why Gook's being so harsh makes a lot of sense to me. He's fed up with the manipulation that their relationship is built off of. He's been teased for God knows how long by TJ and after all of that now he wants to return those feelings. But Gook feels as though he can't trust that those feelings are real. Even if TJ really believes they are. Gook is embarrassed, he's angry, he's hurt... And he has a right to be! Servant or not, he's still a person, and he's still always been courteous to Tae Joo. Let him be fed up! It's this realization on Tae Joo's part that will allow them to figure out what to do next. Ya know, if TJ doesn't die.

This also coming from someone who's only seen episodes 5 & 6 thru screenshots, gifs and videos online, so maybe I'm really missing something I haven't seen yet that would make this post pointless. But I guess I'll find out. Whoops!

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 7

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 4895

Warnings: noneeeee

Summary: Lock down has officially begun.

A/N: I’m a bit behind in writing this series bc of writers block so the other parts may come a later than expected :/, but here’s a lil filler chapter that I had fun writing hehe :) Please don’t hesitate to ask to be in the taglist or lmk if your enjoying this series/ have critiques!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

+++

“Just know that I’ll wait for you, darling. Take all the time you need. I’m a little upset, but just take your time. Really, I’ll wait for you.” Tom dragged his feet as he walked out. You sat there stunned at what he said. ‘Zendaya wasn’t wrong when she said he’d wait.’ You thought.

You wiped the tears that threatened to fall and you stood up. When you walked out Tom was 5 feet ahead of you with the shades in his hands, you didn’t bother to catch up because you knew he was upset with you right now.

When you reached the living room Tom chucked the glasses at Harry’s stomach. 

“What the hell?” Harry sat up looking at his brother annoyed. Tom huffed and sat between Harrison and Tuwaine looking straight at the screen, they gave him odd looks. You looked at him apologetically before sitting next to Harry.

“I’m surprised he didn’t want to sit next to you. What the hell is his problem?” He whispered to you.

“I don’t know if I should tell you here, Tom will literally know I’m telling you about it.” You looked over at Tom who was scrolling through his phone not looking at the screen anymore. “Oh nevermind I’ll tell you, but do not freak out.” Harry nodded.

“Tom and I kinda sorta confessed that we still have feelings for one another?…” You said coming out as more of a question. Harry stared at you with wide eyes. “But… oh my god you’re gonna hate me. I told him I wasn’t ready to jump back into a relationship right now. You know because we both got out of relationships not too long ago and-” you were going to start rambling, but Harry put his hands on your shoulders.

“No no I understand, y/n. I mean I’m surprised he even tried asking you out now. It took him so long to ask you before.” He snickered remembering when you and Tom first dated.

“Yeah it did take him a while to ask.” You smiled, “Anyway, Tom told me he was upset, but he did say he’d wait for me too.”

“Ya he has that look on his face like he’s arguing with himself right now.” You both looked at Tom and sure enough his brows were furrowed and he had a little pout. He looked really cute actually so you giggled a bit, but also felt bad because you were the cause of his overthinking.

“I think he’s determined to win you over.”

“I know, but I told him that I think we should both self evaluate and grow before jumping into anything.” Harry nodded understanding.

“Yeah that’s a good idea, but I think my brother is a little impatient.” He sighed and shook his head. “Just try not to break his heart, it was bad the first time you guys broke up. I’m not too worried about him hurting you, cause he’s so damn head over heels for you. I knew he has been since the moment he invited you to stay here.”

“Rude of you to think I’d hurt him, Harold. And you’re talking nonsense we barely talked then and just started talking more now.” You said and flicked his nose then he swatted your hand away. Your heart skipped a beat at what Harry said, but you didn’t want to think too much about it. You had to focus on yourself first.

- A few days later -

Tom walked closer with tears running down his face, “Allana stop!” You screamed before seeing the knife. You felt the skin on your neck burn and Allana dropped you to the floor. Her dark laugh rang through your ears. Tom ran up to you and cradled you in his lap. “You really thought you could beat me.” Allana laughed. “Y/n. Stay with me. You’ll be alright. Please don’t close your eyes.”  “Tom, I-I can’t-”

You sat up panting hard and you touched your neck, which had scabbed up by now. This was the third time you had the same nightmare since the Allana incident. You looked at your phone and it was 2:34 AM and wiped the little beads of sweat that formed on your forehead. You were sleepy, but too afraid to go back to sleep. Your mind immediately went to Tom so you put a sweatshirt on before walking to his room. Tom hasn’t talked to you as much in the past few days because he was afraid he’d ruin things with you again, he felt it was best to leave you some space. But you on the other hand thought he was mad at you. You began to have second thoughts when you reached Tom’s closed door. You shook your head thinking it was a bad idea and you decided to just grab a glass of water then go back to bed.

You walked down the stairs with your head low. “Oh hey, y/n.” You jumped and put a hand over your heart not expecting anyone else to be up.

“H-hi, Tom.” He gave you a crooked smile. Tom had just been watching some funny videos at the counter with an empty glass next to him.

“Sorry, darling. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Can’t sleep?” He asked as you grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water.

“Yeah I uh had a nightmare.” You sighed and sat next to him at the counter, “What about you?”

“Too many thoughts before bed.” He chuckled, “What was the nightmare?” He asked, turning to look at you not letting you ask about his thoughts.

“W-well this is the third night I’ve had this dream. It’s been ruining my sleep.” You sighed and he gave you a concerned look, “In the dream uh Allana she actually succeeds in k-killing me. I know she only left a small cut on my neck, but I keep thinking ‘what if she went just a little deeper?’” Your eyebrows furrowed as your mouth began to dry up. Tom placed a hand over yours and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb.

“You’re ok now, darling. She’s been put away.”

“B-but what if she’s released because of her uncle?” You looked at Tom afraid and his heart hurt to see you so scared. He placed his other hand on your cheek and your face relaxed.

“I swear to you I won’t let harm near you again. If she does get out I’ll make sure she never comes near you. I will protect you with my whole life. I-I was so scared she was going to hurt you more, Y/n.” Your heart melted at what he said. He sighed and looked down at his feet removing his hand from your cheek, “I-I’m so sorry that I haven’t been talking to you much again. I just realized now that I was so afraid I would lose you again and in the worst way possible. I-I can’t let you leave and I almost let go of you again by not talking to you these past few days.” He shook his head at his actions. You put a hand on his thigh and rubbed it.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I understand why you were upset. I would’ve felt the same if you told me what I told you.” You sighed and he nodded.

“I’ll make things right. I promise.” He said sternly.

“We…” You corrected him, “We will make things right. I-if we’re gonna try to be something again, not right this second obviously, but if we do try I need to help make things right as well because we’re in this together. This won’t be all on you.” You said and smiled at him. Tom felt like he just won the lottery with this information. You gave him all the hope he needed to completely fall for you again. He wanted you to be his again, ‘This would be the start.’ He thought and gave you a wide smile.

“Ah see, we’re already making progress in growth together. Does this mean you’ll date me in 2 days?” He joked and you nudged his leg with your foot.

“It really is a start though.” You said and yawned before resting your head on the counter.

“You wanna go to sleep now, darling?” Tom asked, rubbing your knuckles again.

“I’ll head back to my room in a bit, I’m still trying to calm down from the nightmare.” 

“Y-you can sleep with me if you want, you know so you’re not afraid. It’s not like you haven’t slept in my room yet anyways. No strings attached I swear. I’ll sleep opposite sides of you also.” You sat up and gave him a raised brow and he chuckled, “I promise, love. Just a friendly gesture, don’t want it to get in the way of our growth.” He said and you contemplated a bit before nodding. Tom smiled and stood up with his back turned to you. “Hop on, love.” You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his torso. He gently lifted you up while wrapping his strong arms under your thighs and you leaned your head on the back of his shoulder smelling his cologne.

“Oh wait Tom I have to put the glass in the sink.” You said. Tom galloped back to the counter and you giggled as you placed the glass in the sink, “You’re so stupid yet charming at the same time, Tom.”

“Only for you, darling.” He said softly. How was it that Tom could make your heart go crazy so easily?

When you got to his room he opened the door with one hand and gently sat you on the right side of his bed. You pulled your sweatshirt off leaving you in a tank top and Tom pulled his shirt off, he could feel you staring at his back muscles, “You’re making me blush, y/n. Stop staring.” 

“You’re so hard headed I hate you.” You laughed and you flopped on his comfy pillows. Tom slipped under the covers of the left side of the bed leaving a good amount of space between you two. He shut the lamp light off and said,

“Good night, y/n. Wake me up if you need anything or have another nightmare.”

“Thanks again for everything, Tom. Good night.” You said and he hummed in response. You turned to your side and closed your eyes trying to sleep, but the fact that Tom was right next to you kept you up. You opened your eyes again and turned on your back,

“H-hey Tom?” He hummed again, “Y-you can come closer if you want…” You hinted at him. Tom sat up and looked at you with a cheeky grin. He scooted closer to you and you turned to face him. When he laid back down his left arm wrapped around your waist. Then you rested your head and the back of your hands on his right arm. You were both so close that you could feel his breath on the tip of your nose and you gulped. 

“This close enough, darling?” He whispered making your heart race. 

“Yes, thank you.” You said softly. 

“Alright, I’ve got you. I’m not leaving.” With that your whole body relaxed against his and you felt pure bliss as you drifted off into a deep sleep.

-

You woke up the next morning to the sound of someone knocking. You looked around and remembered what happened last night. 

“Morning, love, come down now. The boys and I made breakfast.” Tom was in the doorway still shirtless. You blushed looking at his toned abs. “Take a picture, it'll last longer, darling.” You stuck your tongue out at him and he laughed. You got up and he waited for you as you pulled your sweatshirt back on. 

“What the hell? Why’d you let me sleep in?” You looked at your phone and it was 10:27 AM. You both headed downstairs.

“Well everyone woke up a bit late today, and you looked so comfy I didn’t want to wake you. Plus you had a rough night last night, you needed your rest.” He smiled at you, and you blushed at his kindness.

“You seem happier… I  mean we had a good talk last night, but I’m surprised you’re this happy.” You said suspiciously and he snickered.

“Well, last night was refreshing, gave me some hope. Plus I can’t stay mad at the girl I’m trying to go after.” He winked at you and you laughed because he was going back to his usual flirty self.

“Tom…”

“Yeah I know, darling. Growth first. Just a little reminder I’m still willing to wait.” He kissed your forehead before reaching the bottom of the stairs and he walked off in front of you leaving you in awe. He knew exactly what he was doing, but you couldn’t give in yet.

“Ah morning, Y/n!” Tuwaine cheered.

“Morning boys! Thanks for cooking again. I promise I’ll cook soon.”

“Tom was the one that cooked the most actually, but don’t worry about it, we love attempting to cook. Also I’d like to take your offer of being my sous chef sometime.” Haz pointed at you and reminded you of when you said you’d help him make chicken like Nando’s. 

“Plus, it seems like you’ll have plenty of time to cook now. We’re officially on lockdown.” Harry said.

“What?” You asked while taking a seat at the table.

“Yeah we can only leave for groceries and walking around the block.” Tom said while sitting next to you and handing you a plate. You thanked him,

“Well that’s just great. I guess I won’t be filming for even longer now.” You sighed and Tom looked at you apologetically. 

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Uncharted may be pushed back a whole year. We can grieve together.” He joked and you smiled at him.

“Wait, Harry we never got to see your short film!” You said realizing.

“Oh shit yeah. That reminds me I’m actually posting it tonight, you guys wanna watch it now?” You all nodded and Tom picked your plate up for you so you only had to carry your water. 

“Tom,” You giggled, “I can carry it myself.” He shook his head. 

“Nope. I shall treat you like a princess.” He said in a posh voice and your heart skipped a beat as you smiled at him.

“Oi stop fucking around. You guys disgust me. Just come and watch now!” Harrison yelled from the living room. You blushed and all the boys laughed. 

You and Tom sat next to each other as Harry stood next to the TV.

“Thank you all for your support. I worked really hard on this and I hope you enjoy ‘Roses for Lily’ as much as I do.” He pressed play and plopped down next to you.

-

“Oh my god, Harry. That was beautiful.” You said as you wiped a stray tear.

“Wow. I’m so proud of you little bro. Truly amazing work that you did. Your future in the industry is bright.” Tom said smiling and gave Harry a hug. 

“Haz, Tuwaine. What’d you guys think?” You asked and you all turned to see that they too cried.

“Got us right in the feels. Fuck you Harry.” Tuwaine said and you giggled.

“You guys are so cute.” You said.

“Oh shut up, y/n.” Haz said. You all laughed. Tom looked at you admiringly loving how good you were with his friends and his family. You were so easygoing and your energy just rubbed off on everyone around you and Tom loved that about you. You noticed that Tom was staring and you booped his nose.

“Stop looking at me weirdo.” He just smiled at you and pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Oh my god we’re all still here. You guys need to chill!” Harry joked. You pushed Tom off of you and blushed laying down to hide behind your best friends back. This lockdown really was gonna get interesting.

- 

You sat outside reading over a new script that your manager, Stacy, sent you. The boys were playing video games inside and Tom was cooking up some burgers for lunch in the kitchen. You heard the sliding door open and Harrison walked out.

“Hey, y/n. You alright?” He sat next to you on the bench.

“Yeah I’m great actually, how’re the games?” You put your script down and he shrugged.

“Eh I was getting bored of it. I don’t know how I’ll survive in lockdown if I’m already bored.” You both laughed.

“I’m sure we’ll make it fun somehow. You guys are all creative.” You said and sipped your water.

“Yeah, I guess so… So did you finally give into Tom?” You choked on your water.

“I-if you’re implying that I’m his girlfriend or something then no,” You laughed a bit, “Are you trying to be his wingman right now or something?”

Harrison scoffed sarcastically, “Pfft no… Well at least he didn’t ask me to…” You laughed at this.

“I get it, Haz. I do. Best friend duties.” You stated and he nodded.

“Anyway he did tell me about everything though. Ya know the lil cheeky cuddle you two shared last night.” He winked at you.

“Wow that boy really can’t keep a secret.” You joked. 

“Well actually this is the first time in a while he’s told me anything of the sort. Last time he really told me anything was when you guys first started fighting before the breakup.” You raised your brow at this fact, “Yeah for real. It seems like a lot of ‘old Thomas’ traits are showing up again. The good ones at least, but I can’t help to get nervous that he’s just setting himself up for hurt again.” You gave Haz a worried look.

“W-wait you think I’d hurt Tom too? Harry said the same thing… Plus Tom broke up with me, remember?”

“Ya I remember, but no definitely not, you wouldn’t hurt him. Any idiot can see you two have something going on.” He scoffed.

“Are we really that obvious?” You asked in disbelief and he looked at you like you were crazy. 

“Aw you’re so adorable, y/n.” He pinched your cheek and you slapped his hand away laughing, “Anyway, it’s just that I think Tom is gonna totally forget about the whole growing part and just focus on making sure everything is perfect between you two.” You nodded understanding now.

“So you’re saying if he continues to be this way and we get into a relationship again he’ll drive us into a wall of heartbreak by trying to achieve perfection?” 

“Yep, couldn’t have said it better.” He nodded.

“W-well, I think that this would have to be on me as well. I need to learn to accept that my life can’t be even 70% private.” You sighed, “But I think Tom and I will help each other learn… as friends at first of course.” Harrison nodded.

“I guess we just gotta keep him in check then. I like you for Tom, y/n. I think you bring out a lot of the good in him… and a little bit of his madness.” You blushed and smiled at what Haz said. You both looked inside to see Tom’s brows furrowed while reading a recipe off his phone. Then he looked up and waved at you happily, you waved back and Harrison nodded as Tom went back to making the burgers. 

“You know the last time he cooked was when you told Harry you’d stay here. Never really cooked much before that.” You looked at him shocked. 

“But he cooked so much when we were dating…”

“My point exactly, y/n. He cooks when he feels like things are going well. I’m going to finish a round of fortnite with the boys before the food is done.” He stood up and brushed off his bottom. “I’m telling you, y/n, you bring out something in him and I can’t tell if it’s good... or disgusting.” He joked before stepping inside. Your heart was so warm and your mind was overwhelmed with everything that has been going on these past few days with you and Tom. You decided to finish reading the script later and to help Tom cook lunch.

“Need help?” You asked walking through the sliding door and into the kitchen.

“Oh uh yeah if you want to.” Tom said while frantically moving around the kitchen, “Can you just cut up some onions, lettuce, and tomatoes? I need to flip the patties.” You nodded and set your script and glass down at the kitchen table before going back to the counter to cut everything and you decided to shuffle some happy vibe music. “Skin,” by Dijon began to ring out through the kitchen and you swayed your hips while cutting up the tomatoes.

Tom placed the last patty on the pan and he turned around to see you dancing. He couldn’t stop staring at your beautiful figure and how it moved perfectly with the song playing loudly. Tom pulled his phone out and recorded an instagram video of you captioning it, “@yourusername is the only one to make cutting veggies look cute and enjoyable.” before posting it and walking over to you.

“Thanks for helping out, y/n.” Tom said leaning back on the counter.

“Oh it’s nothing, I honestly should be cooking and helping more actually. You looked like you were having trouble.” You snickered.

“What? No, I had it under control for sure.” He said in a cocky way, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes on you. You smelt burning meat.

“Well Mr. ‘I can do everything’, I think the patties are burning right now.” Tom snapped his head in the direction of the stove and he ran over turning down the heat. You began to laugh at him as he walked back to you in defeat.

“I guess you were right.” He said and you nodded giggling. You cut the last of the tomatoes and turned to Tom who was already looking at you.

“What, stalker?” You said covering your face and he laughed as he pulled your hands away from your face.

“Just admiring your beauty.” He smiled and rubbed his thumbs over your knuckles. You blushed and rolled your eyes.

“You’re so cheesy, stop.” You hit his chest lightly and he shrugged while smirking. 

“Wanna watch movies in my room tonight? The boys are having a Call of Duty tournament.” 

“Hmmm watch my friends yell at a TV for a few hours or watch movies with an idiot? I don’t really like either choice…” Tom put a hand over his heart pretending to be hurt, “But I think it would be funny if the boys were drunkenly yelling at the TV so I’ll go with that option.” You said enthusiastically and this time he actually looked upset.

“O-oh alright then.” He said and turned around to get buns, but you grabbed his hand laughing,

“Tom, you’re so gullible. Of course I’ll watch some movies with you.” You continued laughing as his expression changed.

“I hate you.” He said pouting and trying to hide his excitement. He turned back around to grab buns from the pantry. 

“You definitely do not.” You pointed at him.

“Yeah I could never.” He said softly hoping you wouldn’t hear, but you did and it made your face heat up.

-

“Tom, I really appreciate you cooking, but mine is a little burnt.” Harry said, critiquing his brother.

“Sorry, bro, I left it on a little longer than Sam suggested.” Tom said.

“No, more like you were distracted by someone in the kitchen.” Haz said nodding at you while taking a bite of his food. Harry and Tuwaine snickered as you blushed.

“Definitely not.” Tom said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh that’s bull!” Tuwaine said laughing and handing you and Tom his phone, “Watch Haz’s story.” You clicked it and first it was a repost from Tom’s story of you dancing and cutting the vegetables. 

“Tom what the hell?” You laughed and blushed a bit at what he said in the caption. Next was the same video, but from Harrison’s perspective. Tom was behind you and filming you. He was grinning from ear to ear and he looked at you like you were the most fascinating thing ever. and It was captioned, ‘Caught this creep in action… I swear if @tomholland2013 burns the food I’m blaming @yourusername.” 

“Oh my god, Harrison.” You laughed and handed his phone back, “You really do look like a creep here, Tom.” You joked.

“I hate it here. But I hate you most, Haz.” Tom grumbled with a red face and ears. You and the boys snickered.

-

Your head was laying on Harry’s lap while you guys watched The Blacklist on his phone. You all decided to just have fried chicken take out tonight, and do your own thing.

“I kinda wanna drink tonight. It’s been a long week.” You said out of nowhere while popping a fry in your mouth and then feeding Harry one.

“That would be fun as hell. Haz, Tuwaine, and I are gonna do a COD tournament you can drink with us if you want.” He never took his eyes off the small screen.

“Weren’t you guys playing a crap ton of games already today?” You asked him with a raised brow.

“That was just a warm up, love. We don’t want to look like fools tonight.” You snickered at his boyishness.

“Well I can’t anyways, I’m busy tonight. Tom and I are going to have a lil movie marathon. Maybe I can convince him to get wine drunk with me.” You giggled.

“As friends I assume?” He asked and you nodded, he pouted a bit looking down at you.

“Oh don’t worry. Like I said, you're my best friend. Getting drunk and having movie marathons will forever be our best friend thing. You’re just busy tonight.” 

“Fine, but I swear if he takes my place, I’m gonna fart in your face.” He said seriously and you laughed.

“What the fu-” You were cut off.

“Alright let’s start this tourney, boys!” Haz yelled getting hype and jumping over the couch and landing on you causing you to groan. Harrison laid on your stomach and you guys were face to face.

“Ow, Haz, get your fat butt off me!” 

“Oh hell ya dog pile!” Harry said getting up and jumping on top of Haz. You grunted again and started breathily laughing.

“Oo I’ll join in!” Tuwaine said and jumped over the couch onto the pile also, this time Haz groaned with you as Harry and Tuwaine laughed. Tom walked into the living room.

“Have you boys seen-” Tom saw you under all the boys feeling a little tinge of jealousy seeing Haz on top of you like that, “Oh what the fuck?”

“Tom don’t just stand there I can’t breathe.” You struggled to say that and pretended to die sticking your tongue out.

“Alright guys get the hell off.” He said in a serious tone.

“Oh you're such a buzzkill, Tom” Haz joked as the boys got off you letting you finally breathe better.

“Yeah whatever. I’ll just be in my room then, let you two carry on whatever the hell was happening.” Tom said referring to you and Haz. You gave him a look like, ‘are you serious right now?’ Tom just rolled his eyes and walked back upstairs.

“See, y/n? Going back to his old ways I’m telling you! Doesn’t even trust his best mate, what the hell. I wasn’t the only one on you either. My god.” Haz said, rolling his eyes obviously irked by the situation.

“Ugh, leave it to me to fix it then. So much for growth.” Harry chuckled and rubbed your shoulders.

“He’s just overreacting because he likes you, y/n. Doesn’t like to see you with any guy that’s not him… Or me obviously.” He said reassuring you and you blew the hair out of your face and sighed. Your heart skipped a beat when he mentioned Tom liking you.

“Alright then…” You said trusting his words. “Where's the chardonnay?”

“We only have red wine, it’s in the fridge with the beers. Tom won’t want wine by the way.” Tuwaine said.

“Oh come on, we’re getting white wine from the store next time, boys. And too bad for Tom, we’re getting wine drunk.” You said as the boys chuckled. You walked into the kitchen grabbing an opened bottle of wine, glasses, chocolate, spoons, and icecream. When you walked back through the living room all the boys gave you a strange look with everything you were holding.

“What? Rough week ok? Plus these things always make anyone feel better.” You said sassily.

“Touche…” Tuwaine said and the boys nodded along.

“Alright good luck with the games. I’ll be in Tom’s room if you need anything, see you all later!” 

“Thanks, love. Make sure he knows I’m not trying to go after his girl.” Haz said.

“Oh my god. Not his girl!” You said back walking up the stairs.

“... Yet!” Haz said, finishing your sentence. You chuckled and rolled your eyes. I mean Haz wasn’t completely wrong...

+++

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts​ @thollandx​ @mrsjeffwittek​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @racewife2004​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @witchything​ @wheelertozier​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @rafficorn​ @jessirosebud​ @peterspideyy​  @superstarchick​ @jackiehollanderr​ @astridcommings​ @mineymak712​ @hollands-osterfield​ @inhumanwithpowers​ @aduky​ @thevelvetseries​ @twelfthnightorwhatyouwill1998​ @stahpppppp​ @calcliffornia​ @cahosinparadise​

[probably-writing-x]

Slowed Response.

Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Request by anon: Can you do a Harrison fic please where he doesn’t realize that he likes her when she told him and it’s all angsty but with a happy ending??❤️

Gif is not my own

Requests are closed🤍

Finding old photos and videos on your phone was always a nostalgic moment. You did it all the time and scrolled back through your camera roll to look through all of yours forgotten memories. It didn’t really seem like much more than that today as you passed time in the flat on your own.

That was until you stumbled upon more and more photos and videos of the boy you’d been trying to forget.

Allow me to backtrack.

You and Harrison had been friends for years, having met him, Tom and Tuwaine when you were all at the Brit School. You’d quickly become close friends with all of them. It had been that way ever since. Though, something along the line had always been different with you and Harrison. You’d always just been a little closer with him than you were with the other two. He’d just always been that one person in your life. That one that knew literally everything there was to know about you. The one who picked you up when you were feeling low, who knew all of the right things to say when everyone else was saying everything wrong. He was Harrison. And, in him, you’d found everything good there was to find in a person. You weren’t quite sure when your heart had twisted that into anything more than a good friendship.

There are far too many videos that melt your heart into more unfixable pieces as you scroll back through. One of all four of you on holiday and were dancing by the pool. Harrison had come up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up and starting off the boys’ attempt to throw you into the water. You’d somehow managed to pull him in with you and both of you ended up in stitches.

The next video was oddly enough one of your favourite ones of him. It was from when you’d first moved into your flat, when you’d managed to successfully achieve your goal of living in your own London property. He’d been so proud of you for your accomplishment. And he’d been there to get the keys with you. Later that day, he’d sent you a short video of him grinning in your new place along with a message about how excited he was for you to have your own place - he’d told you he was already planning your first mega movie night and had already found some great places for hide and seek.

Instead, you now lay on the couch in that flat completely on your own. It had been two weeks since you’d confessed how you felt to Harrison and you hadn’t even spoken to him since then. You’d thought you were good at handling rejection, especially as an actor. But clearly that rejection coming from your best friend was a completely different experience. He’d tried to make things better, defending his uncertain reactions to try to ease the pain in your eyes. You’d left before he could try to explain himself anymore. It wasn’t worth putting yourself through any more pain.

Since then, Tom, his brothers, Tuwaine, even Charlotte, had been ringing you relentlessly to try to get some sort of contact from you. You’d instead reply to their missed calls with a text to tell them you were fine and that you just needed some space. It wasn’t worth anything more than that. Nobody of them would be able to tell you what you wanted to hear. And that one conversation with Harrison had already given you enough of things you never wanted to hear again. He felt so guilty, so gut wrenchingly awful for having to reject you. That’s what made it even worse. It just felt like he didn’t have it in him to feel that way for you. It was nothing to do with you. It was just not something he felt.

You didn’t realise how many times you’d replayed that same video of him in your flat until you flinch at the sound of someone at your door. Maybe it was just a neighbour - probably requesting that you stop crying at 3am, or leaving Netflix on overnight because they can hear it from next door. Though, when you drag yourself from the sofa and go to open your apartment door, it’s Tom stood on the other side.

“Hey,” He sighs as he sees you, “Somebody let me in downstairs, I didn’t know if you’d let me in otherwise.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re not the friend I confessed my love to and then got rejected by!” Sarcasm seemed like a good way of dealing with things recently, or all of the time for that matter.

He wants to laugh but the words are too heavy to find any sort of jovial response, “I brought smoothies?”

You smile a little, “Then you may enter.”

Tom smiles and steps into your flat, still clean despite your low mental state.

“Sorry I’ve been a bit... absent,” You comment, fiddling with the waistband of your joggers, “I just needed some space.”

“Yeah, no, I know. It feels weird not having you at the house all the time,” Tom mentions as he sits down on the side of the couch that had been claimed as his from the start.

“Just because you need people there to make sure Tuwaine doesn’t burn the house down,” You roll your eyes, taking a drink from the smoothie he’d handed to you. Your favourite, thankfully.

Tom swallows the lump in his throat, “I’ve barely seen Harrison.”

You look up and frown, “Where’s he gone? I thought he was staying with you guys.”

“He is,” Tom scoffs, “That’s the problem. The boy’s practically confined himself to his room. He won’t really talk much, eats upstairs, sleeps in late. It’s like he’s punishing himself or something.”

“For what?”

“He knows he hurt you, (Y/n).”

“However I feel isn’t anything that he can control, he can’t feel guilty for not feeling the same way,” You shake your head, “He’s just confused, I’m sure.”

Tom sets down his drink and shifts in his seat, and you know this is about to be a moment where he shares some level of advice that is meant to be helpful.

“Me and Harrison have been best friends for years, I treat that boy like a brother. Same goes for you and Tuwaine. And I’d like to think that I know you all pretty well,” He begins, “I never expected things to happen the way they did.”

“You know I didn’t intend to fall in love with my best friend, Tom?” You raise your brows.

“No, no, I meant the way that he reacted,” He quickly assures you, “Every part of every way that he acts told me it was pretty much certain that he’d tell you he felt the same. I just think it took him by surprise, and he didn’t know how to respond.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “Yeah, well, his response seemed pretty clear to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, there’s nothing I can do to change that.

Tom sighs and pulls you into his side to wrap an arm around you, “I’m so sorry, (Y/n).”

You let out a shaky breath. Today wouldn’t be another day full of tears for that boy. It couldn’t be.

“Did you mean that?” Tom mumbles after some time, “Have you really fallen in love with him?”

You sit up and purse your lips before responding, “With every part of me. And it terrifies me to think I’m going to have to force myself out of that.”

Tom can see it in your eyes, the most clear way of proving your words. You did love Harrison. More than you’d ever be able to compress into the short confession you’d given him. It wasn’t just the love ya’s you’d give to Tom or Tuwaine or Harry or Sam. It was a deepset three words that held a weight you’d been carrying for far longer than you should’ve done.

“You know there’s always a place for you at ours, nothing’s changed there. And I don’t want this all to change anything between me and you, or you and any of us. You know that, right?” Tom squeezes your arm as he pulls you back into his side.

You let out a shaky breath as you rest your head on his shoulder, “I know.”

He hears the way your voice cracks at the words and watches as your bottom lip starts to tremble.

“I just need some time to figure out how to get over losing him.”

With that, a tear slips from your eyes and falls helplessly down the length of your bare cheek.

“Shit, you’re going to make me cry,” Tom says shakily as his eyes well up too.

He shifts and turns to wrap both of his arms tightly around you as you cry into his chest.

“You haven’t lost him.”

But you’re not even sure that he believes the words as they fall flat into the tear stained air around you.

- - - - - -

It’s already way past dark when Tom gets in that night. He’d been so reluctant to leave you but you’d insisted constantly until he finally had to give in. He tries his best to keep quiet as he slips off his shoes at the door and locks it behind him.

Cautiously, he creeps toward the staircase of the house - only pausing when he sees the low light still coming through from the lounge. What were the odds that Harry had fallen asleep on the couch again?

Instead, it’s Haz he finds in the room alone.

“Hey,” Harrison speaks quietly, drained of energy, “Theres some leftovers from dinner if you want anything.”

“Oh, no, I’m okay man, I’ve already eaten,” Tom nods, scanning over the boy who was slowly slipping away from being his typical self.

“Where’ve you been?” Harrison asks, trying to inject some sort of life into the words.

Tom scratches at the back of his neck, “I... um, I went to see (Y/n).”

At that, Harrison perks up as his head whips round at the sound of your name being spoken, “(y/n)? How’s she doing? Is she okay?”

“She’s... getting better,” Tom nods, walking properly into the lounge and taking up the seat on the couch beside his best friend, “Still sarcastic as always.”

Harrison finds it in him to smile at the thought, “Did you talk about...”

“A little, yeah. She got pretty emotional so I avoided talking about you too much after that,” Tom admits, he didn’t want to lie and get caught in the middle of a situation already difficult enough, “It’s hard for her, you know it is. She feels like she’s lost you and that’s making her distance from everybody.”

“She hasn’t lost me, man,” Harrison interjects, “Come on, (Y/n)’ll never lose me.”

“That’s not the way she sees it, Haz. Come on, you rejected her after she told you she’d fallen in love with you. That’s not going to be easy for her to just bounce back from,” Tom encourages, his protective side towards you shining through, “You seriously don’t feel the same?”

Harrison gulps, “If I’m honest, I don’t know if I do. I’ve never felt that way about anyone before and (Y/n) seemed so sure of herself when she said it.”

Tom lets it sit for a moment as he looks at his best friend beside him. There’d always been something more between you and Harrison, all of the boys knew it. There was something about how upset he got after you argued, how excitedly he spoke about you whenever you were off doing something incredible, how he remembered every detail you’d told him. Tom knew that was way beyond the friend status that you and him would always have. It was just... obvious. He’d always expected something to happen, he’d never even questioned it. And he was reluctant to do so now - he knew Harrison too well.

“Well, then, how do you feel about her?” Tom persists.

“She’s incredible, of course she is. And we have the same sense of humour, we could talk for hours, she balances me out which is always good...”

“Okay, so do you see her in the same way you’d see any of us?”

“What?! No, no of course not,” Harrison is quick to defend, “It’s different with (Y/n).”

“Harrison, what did you tell your Mum about her when she was off filming last year?” Tom cocks a brow.

Harrison can’t help but swallow the lump in his throat and blink a few times before responding, “I told her that (Y/n) was the best person I’d ever meet. That she was like the better half of me...”

With that, Tom clasps Harrison on the shoulder and stands up, “Get some sleep, mate. Looks like you’ve got somewhere to be in the morning.”

- - - - - -

That night after Tom came round was probably the best you’d slept in a long time. You wake up at a reasonable time and even find yourself having a productive morning. Today’s coping method was positive. You put on some music in the flat and let the songs trickle loudly into every room as you went about a cleaning day for the apartment. You were just washing the dishes when there was a knock at the door. Quickly, you pause your music and grab a fresh kitchen towel to dry your hands.

Again, you expect a neighbour or something when you open the door.

Not him.

“Hey (Y/n),” Harrison smiles lightly, bags under his eyes suggesting he’d been coping just as poorly as you had. You’d gone two weeks without speaking a word to this boy and, for you two, that felt like a lifetime already.

“Hey...” The word sounds weaker than you’d like it to, “How are you?”

“I’m good, you?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” You nod, “Um, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I just wanted to come round and see if you were okay,” Harrison mumbles, looking down to his feet that he scuffs on the floor to find any way of distracting himself.

“Come on then, at least make yourself useful,” You pull the teatowel from your shoulder and hand it out to him, “You dry and I’ll wash.”

Both of you return to the kitchen sink and start back up with washing and drying the dishes. He still remembers where everything goes as he puts it away after drying. There aren’t any words spoken between you two but a million thoughts colliding all at once. All you can think of is the last words you’d spoken to him and you were terrified of where things would pick up from if this was the next time you were speaking.

As you hand over the last plate, Harrison dries it and hands you the kitchen towel to let you dry your hands. Accidentally, his hand brushes yours as the exchange occurs and you find yourself reluctant to flinch away from the touch as your mind was telling you to. You wanted to still feel some connection to him.

“Im sorry I took so long,” Harrison comments, unsure as to whether he’s talking about coming to your home or to his realisation.

“No, that’s okay. I’m glad we gave each other some space,” You nod, folding your arms over yourself.

He glances around your kitchen like he’s trying to find anything to strike up a bit of conversation. His eyes fall upon the script left on your table, “What’s this?”

You go to respond but he picks it up and flicks through before you can.

“You got the part?!” His eye brows raise at he looks at you in half-shock.

“Yeah, um,” You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I got the first script through last week so I could get a feel for the character. But the part’s mine if I want it.”

Six weeks ago, it had been Harrison sat across from you helping you to run lines for the audition. Now? You hadn’t even told him when you’d got the part you’d been waiting for.

“God! That’s great (Y/n), that’s really great. I’m so proud of you!” He beams with that pride he always did at any success you had, though it’s more temporary than it normally would be, his sincerity returns, “You should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t really think that the next time I spoke to you, I’d just be calling to tell you about a role. That hardly seemed like a good way to start.”

“That’s the best way to start,” Harrison laughs, “I’ll help you run lines whenever you need.”

“That’s okay, I spoke to Tom about it yesterday and he’s already offered so-“

“I always help you with lines,” Harrison frowns.

It shouldn’t be such a big deal. But in that two weeks, his incomplete thoughts had caused him to lose that part of you. And he was realising more and more that his response two weeks ago was the worst response he could’ve possibly given you. And it might be too late to change that.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to spend too much time alone together for a while Haz. We’re both in different places and I don’t wa-“ You stop and swallow the fear in your throat, “I don’t want to let myself get hurt by you.”

If your closed off posture and averted eyes didn’t kill him already, those last words were enough to deliver the final fatal blow.

“I was an idiot two weeks ago (Y/n). I shouldn’t have reacted how I did,” He starts with caution as he sets the script back down onto the table and turns to focus all of his attention on you, “There are a thousand things I should’ve said and I instead chose to say none of them.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself Harrison, it’s my fault.”

“For what? Saying everything I was too scared to admit to myself?”

“Don’t say that Harrison,” You snap, turning away from him like even the look in his eyes was enough to break you again.

“No, (Y/n), it’s the truth and you know it deep down too. I was just so scared of admitting it to myself. And for the past weeks I’ve been thinking of everything I did to lead up to this point, where you’d fallen for me. What I hadn’t realised was that I’d got to that point at the same time, my mind just took a little longer to catch up - as always,” He half laughs, “So I’ve spent every day trying to think through everything I could say to you to make things better after what I’ve done and that’s when I realised that I didn’t need to make things better for you. I needed to make myself realise what I’ve been slowly getting to since we were fifteen.”

Your eyes brew a fresh set of tears at his words, your heart close to tearing at the thought of him saying all of this just to lessen his guilt. But the rest of you is praying for it all to be true.

“How could I not fall for you, (Y/n)?” He steps close behind you until you can practically feel the words touch your hair, your skin.

His hands reach out and he brushes his fingertips gently up your arms, slowly like he’s taking in every inch of you.

“How could I not fall for the girl I’ve been adoring since the first time she hugged me and convinced me to stop worrying about everything so much? Since she first met my family and treated them like she’d been a part of them forever. Since she first held my hand and somehow sealed every wound and every crack in my heart that was never going to break for anybody but for her,” His voice cracks and it becomes impossible for you to not turn around and face him.

It feels like the two of you are closer than ever now, after what felt like so long of being apart.

“I was an idiot (Y/n), and it shouldn’t have taken all of this for me to realise how I felt about you. But, if you’ll let me, I’ll spend every day making up for every day that we’ve lost, every day where I couldn’t have kissed you and told you I loved you in a way that I’d never love anyone else,” He smiles gently as his tears well up with tears to mirror your own, “You’re everything to me, (Y/n).”

[softlenaluthor]

Hello, I wanted to share the Supercorp hill I have chosen to die on:

Because I keep reading fics where Kara and/or Lena are stupidly in love with each other and that’s totally cute and all but I have chosen oblivion and I cannot change my mind. Long post because I added screencaps and gifs because I can. Also can I just say that I’m pretty excited that I finally have A Thing again that is making me write such long posts? It’s been ages!

Here’s what I think is going on:

Lena knows, from the moment they’ve met, that there was a playful, flirty attraction she felt for Kara, but decided not to act upon it when it developed in the closest friendship she’s ever had. Her relationship with Kara almost became something sacred to her, Kara became her inspiration that people could still be genuine.

But you cannot change my mind about the fact that literally the second Lena laid eyes on Kara, she 100% knew that there was attraction. If it were any other place, maybe she would have even gone for it. Or at the very least, tried to figure out if Kara felt the same. I mean, look at the way she looked at Kara when jumped into the conversation and suddenly became all smiles:

For me, that also scene establishes for me how great Lena is at what she does. As a woman in a position of power, it’s inevitable that she needs to understand which questions to ask, which buttons to push and which playful, flirtatious jokes to say (to men), like the remark she made at Clark in this scene. It seems to come naturally to her.

However, her interactions with Kara felt different to me from the start. I probably still would’ve shipped it if Kara was a man, even if I’m sounding like I’m chalking it up to - if I were to put it bluntly: Lena needs to be flirtatious to men.

Kara almost looks like she isn’t quite part of this conversation, but Lena is quick to make it clear that she is just as interested in Kara, if not more:

I feel like after it became apparent that Lena and Kara were slowly becoming friends, it Lena just sort of shoved it to the back of her mind where she almost forgot about it as their relationship developed, and yet she couldn’t always avoid lingering glances, lip bites and blushes, and her tendencies to wear something that Kara might like. Holy shit that dress.

All in all, her relationship with Kara became more valuable to her than whatever it is that she felt for the other woman, which is why she never allowed herself to spare it much thought, though her body language failed to receive the message.

What pushed her over the edge is definitely Kara’s revelation, and the betrayal she felt as suddenly, Kara Danvers suddenly wasn’t someone who felt real to her anymore. Sure, Lena’s Achilles heel is betrayal, but she must realize that with Kara, it suddenly feels a thousand times worse. And why? She’s going to start knowing why. I believe Katie McGrath once mentioned that the one thing that’s going to save Kara and Lena’s relationship is one of them taking a big leap. I think that leap is going to turn into endgame. They’re both going to realize that they have feelings for one another, but one of them is going to take the chance, probably Kara, and then Lena will finally allow herself to realize the same. I speak that into existence. I’ve planted that seed and I will see the harvest.

As for Kara, she doesn’t know that she’s in love with Lena. Sure, she understands the happiness and warmth that she feels when she’s around her and she knows she’d do anything to keep her safe and stand in her corner, but she genuinely thinks that it’s because Lena is simply the Best Friend in the Whole Universe that she’s ever had and also, it’s kind of Kara’s thing to be loyal.

I haven’t seen Supergirl season 1, but I believe that people describe Kara’s reaction to Alex coming out to her like, “oh, I didn’t know that was an option.” Kara’s next realization is going to be, “oh, I didn’t know dating Lena was an option.”

For a while, I think she’s going to continue brooding and sulking a bit over the loss of Lena, but she too will reach a point where she’s going to realize that there’s a reason why she’s missing Lena so much, and why she was so terrified of telling her about her identity. There’s a reason why she felt happier, lighter, and stronger, after she told Lena and convinced herself that Lena was okay with it. And she will get that feeling again, because Kara and Lena will find their way back to each other. Lena just needs to know and understand that Kara is still who she is, and that their relationship wasn’t all a lie. Hence, why I think Kara will take the leap and perform the big gesture.

Also, the show keeps hinting at Kara and Lena being...something. Dare I say endgame? They’re not in your face about it (like all shows with a usually M/F endgame couple), but they’re giving off enough hints that even a neutral viewer can fill in the gaps. A character describing the betrayal “she broke my heart”, words that someone wouldn’t usually say about a platonic friend? Check. Romantic music with relatable song lyrics? Check. An alternate universe in which character’s motivations are shifted, and yet they make sure to specifically mention that this universe’s Lena is Supergirl’s biggest supporter? Check. I feel like they’re testing the waters and while I wish that they just had the guts to say “fuck it, they’re endgame” like Naughty Dog said “fuck y’all, Ellie is gay and there’s nothing any of y’all homophobes can do to stop it here’s a 5 min video of her kissing a woman” I guess it’s up to us to send them a message back: ya, we dig it, we want it, we’ll give you clout.

If they weren’t such cowards they would simply let Kara meet a Lena from a different universe and they would be wives and that would make Kara realize that there’s something there worth exploring with her Lena.

God, I’m so glad that they didn’t wipe Lena’s memories. They need to wade through all this shit but I truly believe they’re going to come out of it stronger they’ve ever been and they will both have girlfriends, as they will be each other’s girlfriends.

If not, and the SG showrunners are literally just using Supercorp for attention (which I’m starting to doubt more and more since news outlets are also beginning to speak up about them) then I will consider this queerbaiting betrayal of the highest order and I will take that resentment to my grave. Because I have eyes and common sense, and at this point it’s damn near impossible to say that Kara and Lena aren’t supposed to end up together.

[superleeleehipster]

10x16 thoughts/theories

After reading up on the finale, and watching the gifs/videos of that lovely Caryl moment (thank you peeps!), I’ve got some feelings to process. Mainly about two specific things about what the episode showed and what that means for the future.

Obviously, some spoilers ahead for 10x16

Disclaimer: Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, this is just my own. I’m not telling anyone to feel a certain way and everyone’s emotions are valid. You can happily agree or disagree as much as you want. 

So first thing I want to talk about is that hug scene from the finale. From what I’m seeing so far, there are a ton of mixed reviews about it in the Caryl fandom. Some folks loved it and thought it was sweet, while others were disappointed b/c they were expecting something like the “No Sanctuary” hug based on the spoilers we got.

Speaking of. Spoilers. I appreciate the people who are able to give us content before the episode (to curb my anxiety if anything), but I also try my best to take what they say with a grain of salt, and the hug is a perfect example. We were told it rivaled the “No Sanctuary” hug and they had a heart to heart, but those statements are a bit arbitrary. I definitely think the person who said that thought those things, but we might not agree with their opinion. 

The opposite has happened before too, where we were given spoilers that didn’t sound very good and it wound up being a better episode for Caryl than we thought. Like when we heard that Carol and Zeke were going to shag during the episode “Morning Star” and she confronts Daryl later and asks him to not hate her, and he says “he would never hate her” but doesn’t look at her and walks away... But what actually happened was Carol went to Daryl’s place in the woods and Zeke found her b/c he knew she “needed some comfort” and the shag was more or less one last hoorah for their relationship and when Carol asked Daryl to not hate her he looked straight into her beautiful eyes and said with conviction “I’m never gonna hate you”... that episode was an amazing surprise for everyone b/c we thought it would be much worse. Bottom line is, we just need to be careful about what spoilers say, b/c they can leave stuff out or make their own opinions on it. 

My personal opinion on the hug: I thought it was a very sweet moment between the two. No, it wasn’t the same as the “No Sanctuary” hug, but I don’t even think that type of unbridled desperation and relief would’ve been appropriate for the current situation. And the current situation is that Caryl’s relationship had hit hard times recently, and Daryl is still upset with her with her actions. When saw her at the end of the episode and looked her up and down to make sure she was ok, but stayed guarded at first, that made sense to me. B/c neither of them are in the right headspace for any kind of relationship right now, especially Carol, and Daryl is a bit guarded still b/c of her recent actions. But when they acknowledge that it’s over, and Carol openly admits that she’ll never get what she wants and he says she has him and she gives that pitiful whimper of “yeah?” to him (AGAIN, we didn’t know about that in the spoilers!) and he comes in and gives her such a freaking warm hug. It was a hug that reassured Carol he was still on her side, and reassured Daryl that she was physically there and ok, and that the war was over. Also that part where she whimpered and wiggled a little and he wouldn’t budge at letting her go. Ugh the feels! 

Seriously, I was kind of jealous b/c I haven’t been hugged that warmly in a long time... 

Point is, I thought the hug was nice and sweet, and appropriate for the current situation. We just need to watch our own expectations when spoilers come out, b/c they can make us feel underwhelmed or pleasantly surprised when we see the scenes on our own. I definitely understand that ppl are tired of waiting. We’ve had 10 years of this and we’re tired of waiting for canon. But I definitely believe it’s coming soon, I really do...

Second thing I wanted to mention is that Connie is alive. I know there are some folks who are not exactly excited about that b/c we were pretty certain she had been killed. For some carylers, having Connie gone meant no real chance of Donnie happening, b/c we’ve been burned by TWD before and there’s always that chance no matter how slim. But for most, having Connie dead would cause the Donnie shippers (the nasty ones at least) to riot before likely leaving. 

Personally, I’m actually glad she’s alive because of two big reasons:

1). Ignoring the abc shippers for a second, quite a few general audience members were really starting to hate Carol after her actions this season. No matter how much we had tried to speak reasons, and highlighting the fact that she just lost yet another kid, a lot of them ignore the turmoil she’s going through and just focus on the actions she’s done. Having Connie alive will at least quench some of the GAs negative feelings over Carol. Yeah she still messed up, but Connie’s alive so the blame will ease off on Carol...

2). This one’s a big one. Ever since Angela Kang began as the showrunner, I’ve noticed big differences between how she writes relationships and how it was before she came along. Quite a few differences if we’re being honest, but the biggest one is that she is more direct with character’s relationships with each other, and she’s not using the current situation to escape from having to be direct with them. There’s no extreme subtle glances or talking in a weird language that doesn’t always make sense (looking at you Gimple). She has been pretty upfront with a lot of the relationships during the last two seasons, and she hasn’t had to use fate/deaths to end ships or start others. For example:

- Carol/Ezekiel - A lot of folks were upset over the fact that Henry was going to take Ezekiel’s place on the pike scene, mainly b/c it wouldn’t be fair for Carol to lose another kid. But ignoring that reason for a moment, another reason is that it would've ended Carzekiel, so Daryl could possibly have a chance again. However, what happened was even better, in that Carol chose to end the relationship herself, instead of circumstances doing it for her. 

- Eugene/Rosita - Instead of constantly having a “will they/won’t they” situation, Rosita had flat out told Eugene that they were never going to happen, and he admitted he mainly created the friendship in the hopes of being with her one day. Then, when he tried kissing Rosita, he realized he wanted Stephanie instead. Again, direct development in the relationship, even if the relationship itself would never happen. 

- Daryl/Connie - The season 10 premiere, Kelly teased Connie with an eyebrow look after Daryl waved at her, but Connie gave her a “stop right now” glance. And when Carol asked him about it, he repeatedly said there was nothing going on between them. 

- Daryl/Carol - She had Michonne mention to “make sure she says goodbye this time” to Daryl without Daryl even telling her he was about to meet up with Carol. The pure excitement and love between Caryl when they first reunited was adorable, and Carol’s joy on his bike was just amazing. To save some reading time, Daryl had basically put his heart on his sleeve for Carol this season, trying his best to keep her safe and help her through the situation. All the while, AK gave subtle/not so subtle hints of what their relationship was and very likely will become. Calling Caryl soulmates in interviews, admitting this season was really about their story. Having Carol sleep on a bedspread with ships on it, or have Daryl standing next to a ship wheel hanging in the hallway while he waited for Carol to answer the door. Having Carol find a double capped acorn and then Daryl staring longingly at it while he was in his room. I really could go on...

Point is, AK has been direct when it comes to dealing with relationships, so I have a feeling that she’s going to be direct when it comes to the Donnie ship. She already has, but I feel like there’s going to be a moment where it’ll end once and for all. 

AK loves reading our fanfics, so I can definitely see it where, at the end of Season 11, when Carol decides she’d like to go on a trip. She’s in a better headspace than she was before, and just wants to go on an adventure. She was hoping to take Daryl up on his offer for New Mexico, but then Connie returns and she and Daryl have a really nice reunion that everyone witnesses. Carol thinks Daryl wouldn’t leave after that, so she plans as if she’s going alone, but then he finds her packing and asks when are they leaving. She gets confused because she thought he would build a life with Connie, but he might say something like “already told ya, there’s nothing going on there... my place is with you, no matter where that might be”...

Or maybe Connie tries to or even kisses Daryl, and Carol witnesses it, so she scurries away and makes plans to leave. But she doesn’t see Daryl turning away and telling Connie that it’s not like that. And then he goes to Carol right after and tells her that he’s going with her...

Those are just examples, but I can honestly see AK doing this, b/c she hasn’t shied away with being blunt with relationships before, why would she shy away from this now?

At the end of the day, I’m not perturbed by the finale. I wasn’t expecting anything drastic in regards to Caryl. But Carol has reached her bottom, both personally and with her relationship with Daryl, and now there’s no way to go but upward. The finale has already solidified the fact that she still has Daryl on her side, and that will be of immense help to her guilt about the recent events. So the next bit of their journey is Carol climbing out of the hole she was in, and with Daryl at her side. That sounds a lot like one of our fanfics doesn’t it? XD

PS: AK, if you’re reading, I fully expect that the next time in the future, when there’s a hug that actually rivals the no sanctuary hug, I hope it’s Carol and Daryl hugging desperately and trying to swallow each other’s faces... cause you know, I have wants.

Have a good evening loves! (gifs are not mine!!)

[coinofstone]

On Balls and Sticks

Just FYI I dug this out of an abandoned 14x10 post that’s been sitting in my drafts for a year.  Now, my swiss cheese brain doesn’t remember if anyone’s already covered this, so apologies if I’m rehashing someone else’s work. This was part of a much longer post analyzing the shit out of the set dec in these scenes, which I ended up abandoning because I couldn’t get the images to work. Now that I’ve solved that dilemma, I may revisit the post in its entirety in the future, but after seeing the ‘Drowning’ video Shaving People Punting Things posted, I had to dig this back up. For now, I want to talk about this shot:

At the time it stuck out to me because it’s so deliberate, but also so seemingly odd, random, until I stared at the pool table for a while. Is it insane to analyze billiard balls to this extent? Maybe, but here we are. This is the section I originally wrote on this shot:

All hail Amanda Tapping. Now I didn’t catch this shot, other than noticing that it seemed odd for what it was shooting - but that’s because the pesky dialog and characters in the background aren’t the goddamn point. I’ve gotta give @naruhearts @thetwistedwillow​ and @castielslostwings all the credit in the world for a) bringing this up and b) midwiving this shit out of me. The first thing I’ll bring up is the (white) cue ball and (black) 8 ball being positioned across from each other, easily interpreted to represent good and evil. The three numbered balls positioned defensively, or perhaps defiantly, in a row in the middle: green stripe (Dean), blue stripe (Castiel) and maroon solid (Sam). The Dean and Cas balls are stripes, but the Sam ball is a solid. To me, it’s intentionally differentiating Sam from Dean and Cas - those two have something in common with each other that they do not share with Sam. (Hint: it’s romantic love.) This is especially notable considering the maroon color of Sam’s ball is also available in a striped ball in any given set. The cue stick between the white ball and the numbered balls indicating the divide separating TFW and good - God and his self-imposed restriction from meddling in human affairs - evil (8 ball) has no such restriction, while still being in opposition to or confrontation with the colored balls. So TFW is left to fight evil or Lucifer without assistance from God or Heaven.  Additionally, the lights above the table - notice how there is three framed together and one on the opposite side of the pillar? One off on its own. Anyone who has read my Jack Meta piece knows that this episode spent a good chunk of time painting Jack as ‘other’ in the context of TFW. I believe this also represents that, three lights (Dean, Cas, Sam) together and one, the same but separated (Jack). Dean, Pamela, and ‘drunk’ vamp are also framed together within that shot - further representing three together, as well as the three stools and the three beer taps. These don’t have the single lone figure off to the side, (though the stools might, there IS one on the other side of that post but honestly it’s not really a focal point in this shot) so I think it’s more about the unity of the three than it is about the isolation of one. There is a whole load of actual color meta that can be read from this, but I’m not going to go into that here.

Now, the benefit of hindsight here is that I can pat myself on the back for the stuff about Jack being framed as ‘other’, but the real treat is that now I can look back on this and go ‘Wait! the fucking pool cue is Jack too!’ - I’ve specced that the ultimate endgame move for the show will be to have Jack resurrected at full power and use those powers to defeat a weakened Chuck, possibly locking him away like Chuck had once done to Amara, but more likely just locking him the fuck out of our universe. Looking back at this, I think it’s plausible that however it’s done, Chuck is going to be cut off from the rest of our world by Jack, much like the cue ball is cut off from the others by the pool stick in the shot above. While this does slightly alter my original perception of the visual narrative in this shot, foreshadowing God being cut off from the rest of our world deliberately by Jack versus Chuck cutting himself off from our world and the boys’ fight against evil, one thing remains the same - it’s still TFW vs evil, unrestricted. I’m taking this to indicate that by the end, they’ll not have sealed off Hell completely, or permanently rid the world of monsters, but they will still be there to fight them, or (hopefully) advise and assist others who choose to do so, in a more supervisory capacity. Interestingly, now that we know Rowena sits on the throne as the Queen of Hell, given her own character journey it’s entirely possible that there is a further layer to the positioning of the balls in this shot. Evil, or in this case, the Queen of Hell herself, could very possibly be read to be... on the same side as TFW against Chuck, you could say, backing them, even... Now there’s an interesting thought. Well, time will tell, anyway.

Now, I know you’re saying, ‘But Coin, why the fuck are you rambling about a shot of balls from over a year ago, now? What’s this got to do with the Drowning video? Why are you posting two separate analyses in one night when you usually average about one post per year?’ WELL. I’ll tell you, since you’ve asked so nicely. It was another blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot from the Drowning promo video, but I would’ve shot up from my seat in triumph when I saw it, had my sciatica not been acting up. Behold, my validation:

What’s that you say? I’m insane you say? Well, you’re not wrong, but neither am I:

Look I spent like three days teaching myself to make gifs from blu-rays I haven’t figured out how to make the words I add to pictures shrink legibly when I resize for tumblr and I’m not gonna figure that shit out tonight, so just - it’s the fuckin balls again. The TFW balls are positioned with Dean and Cas together and Sam slightly off on his own, one space away from Dean. Maybe the orange solid ball between them is Eileen, GASP! maybe it’s Rowena because GINGER, maybe I just need to go to bed, but I’m NOT seeing things.

I’m just sayin’, man. The fuckin DeanCas balls wanna be together.The Sam ball wants to be slightly off on his own. Who is Sam even playing pool with he has no friends. I’m not going to sit here and suggest they set up like a trick table or something to get the balls to do what they wanted them to do - but, you know, as long as Jared hits it consistently they really only need a couple takes to realize placing all three of the relevant balls on the back line isn’t going to work because they will mostly scoot off on the break - leaving the Cas ball on the back line where it’s sitting sort of, say, on top of, or under, the Dean ball (ahem.) while still being visibly next to it, doesn’t hurt the metaphor/visual at all while also adding that layer about Cas going off on his own sometimes, which is something he, ya know, does. Sam’s ball not moving much could indicate that he intends on staying in the bunker or in the life, or it could very well just be where it ended up. This isn’t mean to be a conspiracy theory post and I really don’t want to dive any deeper into the possible machinations behind this shot - but I do want to point out that Sam’s initial rack is not how I learned how to rack, and contrary to what this post suggests I don’t actually spend a lot of time analyzing the pool tables in this show, so I don’t know if they normally follow any kind of method or if they just throw the balls in all willy-nilly every time. What I do know, is that this little blip in the promo made me think of the shot from Nihilism, and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Oct 26)

Recently Completed!

Tokyo Godfathers

Score: 10/10

There’s a reason why I gave this such a rare high rating. When I was watching it, I was internally like, “*excitement noises* I have not been this excited over an anime in such a long time, let alone for an anime movie. EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN WATCH THIS EVEN IF I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING.”

It’s not often that you come across really good movies, let alone masterpieces like this movie. The art is so good, the story made me feel like it was Christmas in October, and the characters really made me connect. 

I know the subtitles used a whole lot of gay slurs and things like that, but Hana (the trans character in this tale) is treated well if we get past that huge hurdle. She truly owns up to herself. She doesn’t care what she’s called. She gets mad at people who misgender her. She gets mad if she’s forced to go to a men’s facility. She wants people to call her “an old hag” rather than “an old coot”. She just wants to be a mother even if she isn’t “biologically a woman” who can bear children. So when she comes across this kid, she thinks, “I will finally be a mother!” These are issues that real people face. These are issues that cisgendered people take for granted.

Madhouse really knocked it out of the park. Satoshi Kon is one of the biggest creators and directors in anime history. He’s known for horror and psychological works like Perfect Blue, Paprika, and Millennium Actress. I never expected him to be this good at making a movie that could move my soul like this. The characters were so far from perfect, yet I wanted the best for each of them. The way it handled everything was masterful. The dialogue worked so well and was witty, the voice actors (despite the main three not being in anything else for the most part) were so good at giving life to their characters, and the art blew me away in 2019 even though this was released in 2003. The only thing I didn’t quite like as much was the score during some parts of the movie, but it was subjectively good and just wasn’t to my taste (the Noragami soundtrack wasn’t a fav of mine either). 

Just... watch the movie. If you can watch it around Christmas. It’s good for you.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

Score: 7.4/10 

Yes, I binge-watched all 39 episodes in two days, what’s it to ya?! In reality, I just boosted the speed of the video.

Me throughout this show: Why do you all have triangle heads? What’s with that?

Okay, it’s the art style, and a lot of shoujo anime go with the concept that it looks good. Once you get over the art hurdle making me believe this was created in the early 2000s despite it being 3 years younger than Tokyo Godfathers, this turns out to be a really nice show. I just can’t believe they’re BOTH from Madhouse. 

Remember Snow White with the Red Hair? Remember Akatsuki no Yona? If you liked those shows, you’re going to like this one... except it relies more on the political plot. It’s mostly about a woman wanting to pursue her dreams of being a politician in a male-dominated world. She’s entasked with helping this mess of a king to get his act together, and as much as I can try to prove that it’s surprisingly progressive (given the art and genre), I think that’d be spoiling it a little. The only character that actually bothered me was the prince who was voiced by Tomokazu Seki who honestly was a bit annoying and sounded so fake for me. However, this anime made me appreciate Hikaru Midorikawa’s voice as well as Houko Kuwashima who I’ve only heard voicing dead moms and only a few good characters here and there. Seriously, both of their voices are great. Toshiyuki Morikawa sounds good too, but we already knew that. I don’t like the OP or ED (or a whole lot of the music), but that’s the case for a lot of these 2005-era anime. Just like a lot of the anime on MAL, I do think this is an underrated show, but it does have its pitfalls if you’re just craving for a quick shoujo without any politics.

Full Metal Panic: Second Raid

Score: 7/10

I binge-watched this entire season while my parents were out for dinner and something else. It only took me a couple of hours because I boosted the speed.

I wanted to get a gif specifically from this season, so this one will have to do. So much wasted potential will this character (who’s one of two twins). I know they were trying to play the whole “twincest” thing, but I’m personally not a fan. They provided some cool fight scenes even at a certain cringe cost. The fact that Kyoto Animation animated this bumped the art from a 3 to an 8. It’s crazy how much the quality jumped after a new studio took over. Unfortunately, they didn’t take care of the next season. I know the main ship in the series is pretty clear, but this season made it closer to canon (too bad it took around 13 years to make the next season).

Kara no Kyoukai (movies: 5, 6, 7)

Score:  Part Five: 7.5/10 Part Six: 5.8/10 Part Seven: 8.2/10

Not gonna lie, I watched the first four movies over a year ago and retained nothing. I had to read the Wikia to assist me and to begin with, I watched this to get into the “Type-Moon” universe (which consists of this and the Fate nonsense stuff), Yuki Kajiura’s score, and Maaya Sakamoto and Kenichi Suzumura voicing a couple. The score would probably change if I’d watched them regularly, but I digress because I watched movies 5-7 in one afternoon. Ufotable was pretty good at animating this and the voice acting worked really well. Yuki Kajiura’s music didn’t hit well at first when I was first watching the first few movies over a year ago because it wasn’t what I envisioned the score being, but once you get into the mood and mindset, it adds so much to the story. Although, I still really didn’t like part six. I thought it was a complete flop because I just want to get rid of anyone who believes i*cest is an okay thing. This isn’t Alabama. Go home. Not else to say here because this took so much commitment that I doubt anyone would watch it.

Paranoia Agent

Score: 8.6/10

With spoopy month coming to a close (already?!) I watched this anime earlier this month, but I forgot to write about it. That’s partly because there’s so much to unpack here. This was a thriller, psychological, horror anime by Satoshi Kon. That’s right, the first anime above was also done with him in the director’s seat. This anime was smart. There’s a reason why Robin Williams likes it! It was scary in the best of ways. It revealed a part of society that we see all the time but don’t talk about (especially in Japanese society where emotions are better kept concealed). Just the opening alone made me feel uneasy. The OP and ED were simplistic yet worked. I binge-watched the whole series because it was that gripping. 

It was a little confusing at times, but that’s also because that’s just a common thing with horror anime. That suspense keeps us going. It keeps us on the edge of our seats. Who’s going to be the next victim of Shounen Bat? Episode 8 came out of nowhere for me, and I liked it. There were several scenes that sent shivers down my spine in the best way possible. It isn’t always “scary”, but it gives suspense.

Aoi Bungaku

This one is going to be reviewed a little differently. Since it has specific arcs, I’m going to review them as such!

Ningen Shikkaku: 8.2/10

We start off with a bang. Osamu Dazai was a man of suffering. This story really shows that. In this story, we see a man who’s desperate to know what makes him human. We see this through the eyes of a fictional character, but I personally view this as a semi-autobiography.

The art was chilling. The voice acting from Masato Sakai was surprisingly good. A lot of the time, voice acting from live-action actors just aren’t that great. Every time you think this character will get back on his feet, he falls deeper and deeper. It truly did make me wonder what made me human.

Sakura no Mori no Mankai no Shita: 3.9/10

That moment when the only thing that saves this arc is Nana Mizuki’s singing. Seriously, her jazz songs were awesome. Can’t say that about the rest. I mean, the art is good, but it’s Madhouse so most of their stuff is already good. The story wasn’t that original. Mind you, this was probably during a period where foreign influence was strong, and I haven’t read the original story, but... this is basically Salome (the opera) with some differences. Both have a crazy woman with a fixation over lifeless decapitated heads. Both have men that are captivated with her beauty so they give her what she wants because of that reason alone, they both murder religious people (monk/shrine maiden and a prophet), and both eventually realize that women can be crazy when they demand a lifeless head because you know, that’s just a red flag. Above all, it suffers from tonal shifts. You can’t have a woman turning moe then demand you bring her another head to play with. You can’t have Masato Sakai playing another main character that doesn’t fit him! Seriously, he doesn’t have the voice of a brute and just couldn’t do it. Overall, this arc was a mess, and I’m glad it was one of the shorter ones.

Kokoro: 7.6/10

This looked like a masterpiece compared to the last arc. I haven’t read Kokoro, but this made me go, “Huh, I don’t remember this happening.” That’s because they chose a certain part of the book (near the end apparently) and just went off that and created its own anime-original episode. Despite that, it was pretty good! There were some screaming discrepancies which did hurt its impression (because it made it feel out of place to the point where even I, as an uneducated anime viewer, could clearly see).

(I think this is from Kokoro but I might be wrong)

Hashire, Melos!: 8.9/10

Would you look at that? It’s the best arc of the series. Hashire, Melos was great. It had me going from beginning to end, and it’s the only arc that doesn’t have Masato Sakai playing the lead character. The art, the pacing, the storytelling, the story, the sound, the voice acting, and the art direction complemented each other so well. It made me far more interested in the original. 

The Spider’s Thread: 6.6/10

If you look really close, you’ll notice that the creator of Bleach took over character design for this! It was okay. I found that it was a little cliche and lacklustre. Mamo is around so much that you probably have to do more than that to keep my attention, and this had the art going for it too. It just wasn’t that interesting. A heartless murderer is sent to hell after being executed. Moral of the story: Don’t be an asshole. Alright. Nice. I do understand that Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was one of the main establishers of the whole “Japanese Short Story” thing, but after seeing it so many times, I just didn’t get that same chill.

Hell Screen: 6.9/10 

Another Akutagawa short story! This one had far more of an impact because this one hit closer to Akutagawa’s heart. Knowing the history of this piece of writing, you can see his desperation to stay relevant and true to his craft. It’s about a painter who wants to paint the town but finds out the city isn’t the bright light he sees in his mind. Everything goes ablaze. The art for this is stunning. I probably would’ve enjoyed this story more if it was placed in the middle of the series run rather than being the last story. 

Recently Started

Africa no Salaryman

The animation for this is terrible. There is no way around it. However, at least it’s funny. Still, close to being on the chopping block. It has the papa lion who’s played by Akio Ohtsuka, the straight-man middle lizard played by Kenjirou Tsuda, and the scumbag toucan played by Hiro Shimono. Yes, they all play Hero Academia villains. The jokes are pretty good for me.

Given

Oh, would you look at that? It’s a music anime. *inhales* Music anime is a double-edged sword for me. I like having music interpreted and portrayed through one of my favourite mediums, but I don’t like them playing off music as some sort of easy gimmick and a joke. It’s like a shonen montage. “Let’s just have this guy train for two minutes and become a demigod”. But when you put an instrument into someone’s hand and demand the same, it sends me to another plane of angriness.  So far, the romance is kind of cute... but Mafuyu kind of annoys me since his role in the BL dynamic is so clear just by his voice. Same with Uchida. You can only play so many thugs a season. Kyou? Good. Chika? Good. This guy? Good, but don’t do them all back-to-back! I don’t like the BL dynamic being so basic. However, my mind can be changed if done right.

Shinsekai Yori

Very interesting premise, their eyes are cute, and I’m a sucker for these so I’m gonna stick with it.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E58 (Apr. 16, 2019)

Gooooood evening, everyone! @eponymous-rose may have social obligations she was actually looking forward to tonight, but I had a birthday party I was desperately trying to get out of, and so I am here, and Henry is also here, looking immensely put-upon at this human flopped on his pillow.

Tonight’s guests: Liam O’Brien & Taliesin Jaffe. Liam’s shirt is remarkably Tal-ish tonight. Rep it, boys.

Tonight’s announcements: New campaign journals available at therooktheraven.com/criticalrole. They’ll be at Denver Pop Culture Con next week MONTH! sorry!--Ashley will be there too! It’ll be the first time everyone’s been at a con together...possibly ever! Liam: “Four years in the making.” Everyone’s sick & Brian took Nyquil thirty minutes ago. This should be an interesting evening. Three days left in the Kickstarter campaign! Earlier today, they cracked $10 million, which means Travis’ll be filming himself traipsing through a haunted house. Good heavens. This Thursday, about half an hour after CR ends, Joel Hodgson from MST3K will be coming on the show to hang out with the guys & celebrate.

And now...Episode 58: Wood & Steel

CR Stats: briefly derailed by accusations that Brian’s hair looks like a shark fin. Caleb’s spent 1475 gold on paper and ink so far. Liam: “God, grad school, man.” Caduceus has used Eyes of the Grave 13 times. “It’s a little panic spell, really. Every now and then it helps. It’s nice to be able to walk into a room and go, ‘hey, is there anyone undead in here?’“ This episode was Yasha’s first natural one stealth check. “Not Ashley’s, though.” “No.”

Tal’s shoulder is still peeling from Ashley’s roast of Sam pre-show last episode. Neither Liam nor Tal think Sam was really prepared for it, and now Sam’s working overtime to make up for it. The president we deserve, honestly.

Re: Cad’s check on Fjord: “Clay loves these people. On the other hand, he also has a sense about what an addict is. I love you, I trust you, and I’m gonna go through your wallet real quick.” He was trying to validate his own trust in Fjord just in case he needed to stop him doing anything dumb later.

Taliesin is REALLY excited (one might say gleeful) about making Travis’s haunted house experience as terrible as possible. Brian suggests tasers in case Travis starts barreling through walls in panic.

Caleb is feeling as if he’s blown a bit of his cover lately; the filthy disguise that he’s maintained for so long is pointless now. He’s expecting someone to come “knocking at the door soonish.”

The whole idea of consecution really, really messed Caduceus up. “Clay doesn’t know what to think. This is definitely a...bedouin monk having someone try to explain the flying spaghetti monster to him. It feel offensive and yet harmless...something’s rubbing him the wrong way and he doesn’t know what it is yet. He’s not really about the souls--that’s not what his order is about. His order is about flesh & what happens to the remains; the souls are the souls’ business--that’s what the Raven Queen is for. He’s not sure if it’s his own prejudices.”

Caleb has to think of Nott as a totally different person now. He doesn’t know what she wants, if she wants to run off with her husband now. His feelings for her haven’t changed. He thinks they were codependent for a long time, but now he’s faced with the reality that she doesn’t need him nearly as much as he needs her anymore. He hasn’t even had a chance to talk to her lately “because he’s not even sure if the script is the same.”

Marisha bombs the set with a laser pointer nerf gun. I am so happy I’m not kidding.

They discuss who did the laser pointer addition (Christina) and attempt to shoot off Brian’s hand. It misses & hits a plush. Brian: “You almost hurt Molly. Oh, wait.”

Clay hasn’t quite figured out the interpersonal relationships of the group yet. He’s kinda noticed the Caleb/Nott relationship (although it doesn’t make much sense to him), but he has figured out he and Yasha have the most in common. He first thought he’d get along most with Jester because they were both clerics, but now knows they’re completely different people who heal for completely different reasons (one out of enjoyment of healing, one forced). He really wants to keep Fjord & Caleb on the straight & narrow, and he sees his relationship with Yasha as more straightforward “I’ll help you, you help me.” Brian’s interested in hearing what Cad thinks Caleb’s right path should be. Me too!

Tal talks about how when they’re traveling at cons, he sits & thinks about other people’s characters and how he/Clay relates to them.

GIF of the Week! Big Shaft. What more needs be said, really. The winner gets a Cobalt Soul journal which Brian says is available on shop.critrole.com as well as the UK store which is A STRAIGHT UP LIE, BRIAN, THEY ARE 100% SOLD OUT, I LOOKED EARLIER TODAY, WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME WITH THESE LIES. >:((((((

Caleb didn’t ask Waccoh about dunamancy because it wasn’t the right time. Cad is very interested in the staff. Liam likes the Ring of Evasion.

What did Tal think of Fjord’s very Percy-esque intimidation in the last episode? “Take it! Run! Murder them all!” Percy loves the dodeca & would have loved to play with it. Both Liam and Tal marvel at how easily threat came to Travis.

In terms of the broken sword, Cad’s hoping for a lemonade-out-of-lemons situation. Brian & Liam switch seats so Liam can pet Henry. Understandable, really. He feels like it’s the world communicating to him that it is meaningful. “He always moves forward to something that feels meaningful. His job was to speak to people about their lost loved ones. He ran a funeral home. So while he doesn’t entirely understand how people relate to one another, he understands how people function, and he’s fascinated by that.” Tal constantly has to weight if his decisions are based on gameplay or something about Cad’s observations. He’s very acutely aware of the difference between his intelligence and wisdom scores.

Liam dabs & regrets it. Then he talks about how that’s why Cad makes Caleb nervous. It’s like talking to a human lie detector. Tal keeps talking a bit about how Cad sometimes spooks Caleb, but I’m 100% distracted by Henry jumping up & sitting between Brian & Tal. Poor Liam.

Everyone worries a bit about Ashley’s low AC, except Liam, who worries sarcastically. Ya jerk.

Liam answers an interesting question about Caleb’s selfishness--is his generosity this last episode a show to prove to the group that he’s a team player or is he just genuinely caring more about the entire group? Porque no los dos--he’s trying to keep them alive and working well together, and now he has different reasons to do what he’s doing. “Everything’s changed for him” over the last few episodes.

Everyone discusses how motivations change slowly over time and how it’s not a smooth journey--sometimes they’re selfish one day and selfless the next, and sometimes the “shitty purpose on the macro scale” still has “good happening on the micro scale.” It’s not a straight road and people can backslide. Taliesin: “I love something that’s complicated.” Liam talks about how Percy freed Whitestone and did some very dark things on the way there. Dani: “It’s all part of being one person with lots of facets.”

Fanart of the Week! I really hope it’s that GoT video! Ahh, it’s @morphenominal12′s portrait of Yasha. Okay okay okay, this is pretty good. Respect. At least Liam doesn’t taunt me with a journal I can’t buy. Why do I keep thinking it’ll stop saying “Sold Out” if I keep refreshing the page?

A question points out that all three of Taliesin’s characters come from large families (even if those families are dead or adopted). Tal says he doesn’t know much about being an only child & is from a large family himself. It’s part of starting from what you know, and he likes having a few pre-built relationships that he or the DM can build on later. He says maybe being an only child will be his next challenge.

Very, very belatedly, the crew adds a graphic of dollar signs falling from the top of the screen. They do it three times before everyone realizes it’s because Tal said he’d do only-child plots for money. “And on this show, we spend five minutes deconstructing a bad joke from the tricaster.”

Cad doesn’t know how he feels about consecution. They’re not undead...but what are they? It’s making him a little queasy but he can’t put his finger on it. He’s spent a lot of time thinking about how a nature cleric relates to larger heroic destiny, and about his need to see the kiln.

They tuck in a sleepy Henry. I would die for this dog.

Liam signs us off with all of Brian’s catchphrases. What a nerd.

And we’re out! Is it Thursday yet?

[sevenpeaches]

Dreaming of Got7 | Yugyeom | Is it Just Acting?

• info~ fluffy fluff fluff

• a/n~ Thought I would end 2018 and start 2019 with a little bit of sweet content. Happy New Year Ahgases!

• disclaimer~ not my gif and everything written is purely fictional/for fun.

• summary~ You, an actress and friend of Got7, are asked to star in their new Web Series! Will your crush on Yugyeom get in the way of acting, or help?

• word count~ 4k

Gazing at yourself in the mirror, you tell yourself once more, 'You can do this. It's just acting. You've done scenes like this before. No big deal.' You readjust the pale blue two piece bathing suit wardrobe had told you to wear and pull on the sheer white coverup, making you feel slightly less exposed. Your mind so graciously reminds you that, no, you haven't done a scene like this before. You've never filmed a scene in the water before, and you've certainly never filmed a kiss scene with someone you had a crush on before. You heart flutters just thinking about it. About him.

◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊

It was a few months ago now, that you had met Got7. You were hosting a variety show, and they happened to be the guests that episode. They were so genuine, humble, and lively that you were captivated by them right away. You were always a fan of their music, but meeting them in person gave you a whole new appreciation for them. That day was the most fun you'd had filming a show that you could remember.

There was one member in particular that you were smitten with the moment you met him. His name was Kim Yugyeom, and you'll never forget how the sound of his voice alone was enough to stir up the long dormant butterflies in your stomach. The way his shyness would give way to wild, playful antics when spurred on by his members; his contagious laughter; the fire igniting within you whenever his eyes met yours; the blush that would creep up his face when his bashfulness would suddenly return. There was just something about that 'maknae on top' that left you wanting to be around him, even after the filming ended.

For reasons inexplicable to you at the time, you felt empty saying goodbye to Got7 that day. Who knew when, or if, you'd see them again. So, later that night, when you were sulking and watching TV in your apartment, you were surprised to see your phone light up on the couch next to you, the sender being ya boy double B.

After filming was over, and everyone was bidding their farewells, the group's resident fashion icon had asked to swap numbers with you. You were confusedly taking your phone out of your pocket while he was going on and on about how much he loved your style and how he wanted to bounce ideas off of you, and have you tried modeling? You really have the look for it. Those shoes are to die for, what size are you? We should go shopping together, it'll be so much fun.

While all of this was coming out of his mouth, he had managed to swipe your phone from you and input his own number, shooting a text to himself to get yours. Before you knew it, the phone was back in your hands, and Bambam was saying his goodbyes. That boy was a walking whirlwind, and you were left jostled by his energy. You couldn't quite tell if the excitement you felt in the pit of your stomach was residual energy Bambam had left with you, or if it was from the small glimmer of hope that you'd be able to see Yugyeom again.

The text from Bambam had been simple, but enough to get your attention. 'Hey Y/N! I know we just met, but I have a proposition for you.'

◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊

And that's how you ended up here. In a bathing suit, about to kiss Kim Yugyeom. When Bam had texted you that first time, it wasn't about fashion or shopping. No, instead he wanted to talk to you about acting. That was, after-all, what you were known for. You've played supporting and lead roles for a few k-dramas by now and have countless advertisements, guest appearances, and hosting gigs under your belt. In a stroke of either fate or just plain good timing, Got7 was preparing to film and produce a new web series, and they were in need of an actress.

When Bambam mentioned this to you, your mind immediately conjured up images of the one they'd done years ago - Dream Knight - and you were already thinking of ways to politely deny his invitation to act in this new show. Bambam must've read your mind somehow, because he was immediately reassuring you this show would be different; more mature, more realistic, more sweet, and most definitely not something you'd be embarrassed about in the future. You were dubious, but thoughts of seeing Yugyeom's smile in person again were warming you up to the idea of acting in Got7's new series.

High on those thoughts alone, you accepted the offer. Unknown to you, on the other end of the phone was Bam's devilish grin in all its scheming glory. He had 'forgotten' to mention the role they were offering you was in fact the role of the leading lady, and that you'd be the main love interest in the series. Phase One of his plan had been carried out successfully; With ease and grace, if he did say so himself. Phase Two, however, was beyond his control, or so he thought.

◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊

When you found out the details of the role you'd accepted, you wanted throw the nearest object at Bambam, who was snickering openly at you and your deer-in-headlights expression. But, you were surrounded by the rest of the boys and some staff members, so you had to settle for narrowing your eyes at him. If he wanted to live longer, Bambam should've stopped laughing right then and there, but instead-

"We haven't determined who's going to play the male lead yet-" Jaebum began diplomatically, before being cut off by Bambam. He had wanted to dish the news to you himself.

"-So you have to practice with each of us first!" the troublemaker announced, thoroughly enjoying the look on your face. As you glared at him, you wondered what he was up to. His unflinching grin, dripping with mischief, told you that he, most assuredly, was plotting something. You felt uneasy. What had you gotten yourself into?

Thankfully, the so-called 'practicing' was not what you first thought it'd be. You simply had to act out a brief scene with each of the members in order to test your on-screen chemistry. Acting came naturally to you, and you had a charm about you that just couldn't be taught; people were naturally drawn to you. So, after a few casual scenes in which you chatted with and exchanged flirty banter with the boys, it was clear you had an effortless chemistry with each of them. But with whom did you have the most spark?

Bambam was about to put Phase Two of his plan into effect, but before he could pipe up to say that you and Yugyeom looked best together, another member did it for him.

Tapping his chin with a look of concentration on his face, Jackson began to voice his thoughts. "I think that Y/N acts well with all of us. But..." He tilted his head and looked up, as if trying to physically see his thoughts. "We all know acting isn't really Yugyeom's best skill-"

From beside Jackson, Yugyeom gave him a small push. "Hey~ your acting isn't much-"

"Let me finish." Jackson shushed him with a look, resulting in a disgruntled maknae. "As I was saying, acting isn't his strong suit, but I was impressed with his acting today."

As the other members considered Yugyeom's scenes with you, they all began to nod their heads. "He felt really natural with Y/N, like your acting skill was finally awakened," Jackson continued, turning to speak to Yugyeom directly, whose lips twitched up into a half smile in response. Jackson reaffirmed Yugyeom with raised eyebrows and a nod before continuing to the rest of the group, "So, I think this could be a good chance to show the world that not only is he the Dancing King, he's actor Kim Yugyeom as well!" As he finished, Jackson put his hands on Yugyeom's shoulders, shaking the then blushing boy slightly.

Bambam didn't hesitate to second Jackson's notion, jumping all over Yugyeom chanting, "Actor Kim Yugyeom! Actor Kim Yugyeom!"

Everyone else fell in line until it became a wild and noisy mess of Got6 cheering a blushing you and a flustered Yugyeom on. It had been decided. You and Yugyeom would be the stars of Got7's new web series 'No One Else'. In the midst of the chaotic huddle, your eyes met with his. To this day, you swear something happened to your hearing, because the riot in your ears became hushed as the two of you exchanged small smiles. Blinking, you let your actress skills take over and made a small fist, mouthing the word 'fighting!' to him in encouragement. A laugh escaped his lips, and he mirrored your actions back to you. You knew then, that this role would test your ability to separate acting from reality.

Amidst the playful cheering going on, Bambam had watched the small exchange between you and Yugyeom with a grin on his face. With Phase Two of his plan completed, it was time for him to sit back and watch the rest unfold.

◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊

There's no turning back now; this is it. The cameras are rolling, and the scene is in full effect. Set outside at a summer party, the boys are scattered around the patio, bar, and pool, extras are dancing and laughing, and music can be heard throughout the backyard. Jackson, Bambam, and Mark are playing around with a beach ball in the shallow end of the pool, Youngjae and Jaebum are relaxing in the shade at the bar, and Jinyoung is sitting on the side of the deep end, his feet in the water, near where both you and Yugyeom are playing around. Everyone knows how the scene is supposed to go; the question is- Can you pull it off?

It had been a shock to you, when you saw all of the boys in their swimming trunks. You've seen some of them shirtless before, sure, but that was always in videos or photos. Real life was a whole different experience. At first, you could barely look at Yugyeom without blushing and trying to cover yourself up. But with the coverup being see through, you quickly realized the futility. Then, you reminded yourself to be a professional and shook any personal thoughts out of your head. Actress Y/N has arrived; the party can start now.

With Yugyeom next to you in the deep end of the pool, you're having the time of your life messing around, laughing and splashing. You had just finished splashing a wave full of water into the boy's mouth and are now swimming away before he can get you back, squealing with laughter.

You hear him sputtering behind you and know that he isn't far behind. A slippery hand grasps onto your arm and halts your movement. With a devilish grin on his face, Yugyeom holds you in place, despite your struggles, and splashes you full force with his other hand. He uses his entire arm, actually, and a tsunami overtakes you.

"Ahh!" You scream as the water washes over you. The taste of chlorine floods your tastebuds, making you scrunch your face in distaste. "That wasn't fair!" Wiping the water from your eyes, you set your sights on the giggling brat in front of you.

"I never said I would play fa-" He doesn't get to finish his sentence, because you send a fresh wave of pool water directly into his face. Yugyeom gives you a look as if to say 'Oh, it's on' and flashes a smirk your way, almost blinding you with its dazzle. The bitter taste in your mouth keeps you from being swayed, though, and you launch your next attack, lunging at him with as much force as you can muster to push him underwater.

Yugyeom's hands find your arms and drag you down with him. You take one last breath of air before accepting what's to come next. Beneath the surface, the sounds of the party become muted, movements are slowed by the flow and density of water, and you feel weightless as you open your eyes to see Yugyeom floating in front of you, his eyes on you. His hair dances gently in the water, and sunlight flickers across both of your bodies, illuminating rippling patterns on your skin. As Yugyeom reaches out to caress your cheek, everything else fades into the background. He smiles at you, and you're not sure, but you think you see a hint of shyness for just a moment.

Your hand floats up to hold his, and you nuzzle into his touch, a gentle smile forming on your lips. Your eyes close as you take in the feeling of his fingers intertwined with yours. When you reopen them, the two of you are inches apart, drawn to each other inexplicably. A silent question is asked and answered, and you close your eyes once more. Yugyeom's lips meet yours in a cautious yet tender kiss. They feel refreshingly warm in contrast to the cool water surrounding you both. The taste of chlorine no longer seems so bitter, if this is the reward. The kiss deepens, hair tangles with fingers, and skin brushes against skin, until the need for oxygen brings you back to reality.

You end the kiss, pulling apart from Yugyeom. His eyes lock with yours, and he reaches out to take your hand in his, swimming up to the surface with you. Once above the water, the noise of the music, casual chatter, and, now, cheering from the boys greets your ears.

You're still in a daze as you make your way to the shallow end with Yugyeom to connect with Jackson, Mark, and Bambam. You can't believe you just did that. Kissing him was everything you'd hoped it would be and more. Did he like it too? You begin to wonder. Somewhere in the scene, it hadn't been acting any longer; you were genuinely enjoying yourself, and your laughter wasn't fabricated. The kiss came naturally to you, and you wish you could do it more with him. Maybe you'd have to re-shoot the scene a few times? You glance sideways at Yugyeom, wondering if he'd even want to do it again at all.

A jovial slap on the back from Jackson snaps you out of your thoughts. "So? How'd it go? Did you do it?" He begins asking a million questions without giving either of you time to answer.

"You two were down there for a long time," Youngjae comments from the poolside bar. Mark and Bambam are busy teasing Yugyeom mercilessly, while Jackson continues to ask questions. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks and don't know how you thought you'd survive this to begin with. You knew how the boys would be. You're just hoping they won't notice how flustered you are. You sneak another glance at Yugyeom to see if he's feeling the same way, but you can't tell if he's turning red from the scene or from the boys' teasing.

Jaebum, the ever-focused one, is walking over to the staff to ask how the scene came out. To see if it needs to be redone, or if it came out good. Seeing as how this is the last scene that has to be filmed today, you guess that he wants to know if he has to stay here longer, or if he can go home and relax. Which, by the way, for the purpose of filming this series, you've been staying with them. Everyone had decided it would be easier getting to and from the various sets if you all could carpool together, and your apartment wasn't exactly near the boys' house. Anyway, you're almost hoping that you have to stay and do the scene again. However, you notice that the staff are ecstatic. They think the scene came out amazing, just in that one shot.

Finding it hard to believe, you, and all the boys, rush over to huddle around the screen that displays the footage from all the various camera angles used. Although, your 'rush' is more like a 'reluctantly dragged along' by Bambam and Jackson. As the footage begins to play, you try not to watch - you just know your blush will reach deeper and deeper shades the longer you look - but you and the others find yourselves pulled in to the screen as the scene progresses. Upon seeing the look shared between you and Yugyeom underwater, the cooing and cheers start up again, absolutely going nuts once the actual kiss happens.

"Wah it's almost as if you two like each other~"

"Wow Actor Yugyeom!"

"So that's how you stayed down there so long~"

The first statement has you looking away and protesting, citing your acting skills as the reason it looked so believable. Bambam scrunches his nose in a smile at you, before turning his attention to Yugyeom, who's hiding his face with his hand, his ears almost as red as your cheeks. "Hey Yugyeom, why aren't you saying anything?" Bam asks loudly, making sure to attract attention.

Jinyoung immediately picks up on teasing the youngest member. "Hm, why are you so quiet Yugyeom? And why are you hiding behind your hand, huh? Don't you want to see your first kiss?"

Jinyoung's bait works, as Yugyeom removes his hand to gesture at him and yell, "Yah! Why do you say things like that?! This isn't my firs-"

"You know, now that you mention it, I've never seen Yugyeom with a girl. Maybe this is his first kiss," Bam ponders, crossing his arms.

The look of betrayal on Yugyeom's face is enough to make you momentarily forget the subject matter of the conversation. "What?! You don't really think that-"

"It's sad really," Bam continues, ignoring his friend. "A guy like you, with your skills, always alone at the end of the day." He shakes his head, while Jinyoung stands back and admires what he started, a content smile on his face.

Yugyeom sighs. "Why are you...  Can we just talk about anything-"

Bam cuts off his whining once more."Maybe there's something you could do to fix that," he says. He shifts his attention to you, a smirk forming across his features. "Or someone."

Oh no he didn't. You're about to begin your own protest against Bambam, when Jaebum steps in saying, "I don't care if you guys want to stay, but I'm tired and the van's leaving with me,” before turning around and heading away from the group.

◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊  ◊

Jaebum's declaration effectively put that argument on hold, but that didn't stop you from throwing Bam dirty looks and making the journey home difficult for him with constant annoying from your end. Pulling his headphones out of his ears, tugging at his hoodie's strings, tying his shoes together; you know, all that childish stuff that he deserved.

You're back home now. Well, your temporary home. You look around the room you're staying in as you towel dry your hair, thinking how nice it was of the boys to let you stay here during filming, let alone give you your own room. For how annoying and childish their antics can be at times, the boys are just as generous and kind. You wander to the window, wondering how you got so lucky.

Outside, the sun has set, yet the sky is still painted in remarkable shades of pink, purple, orange, and blue. Twilight. The time between day and night, when it is neither day nor is it night, when the sun has fallen below the horizon, yet it isn't completely dark. Some stories say twilight is a border between two things, such as light and dark, life and death, between two instants of time. It is at such a border that all things are possible. And that is why, besides the beautiful sky, twilight is your favorite time of day. There's a certain magic about it that captivates you.

Turning away from the window, your thoughts begin to wander to today's filming; to Yugyeom. The feeling of his lips phantom kiss yours, and you wonder what it'd be like to run your fingers through his hair above water. It did always look soft. You're putting your towel down on the desk chair beside the window, when you notice someone standing in your doorway. Your heart skips a beat at the sudden appearance and begins beating faster when you realize it's him standing there. You forgot you'd left your door ajar after returning from your shower.

"Yugyeom-ah," you sigh, holding your hand to your chest. "You scared me."

He looks apologetic. "I knocked first, but you didn't answer..." You notice his hair is damp and messy. He must've just showered as well. You can smell the sweet, crisp scent of the shampoo he used from across the room.

"Can I come in?" he asks, and you realize you'd just been standing there staring at him.

You smile in embarrassment and look away, murmuring a soft, "Yes, of course."

Yugyeom steps inside your room, closing the door behind him. That action alone causes your pulse to quicken. Is there something he doesn't want the other members hearing? Where is he going with this..

Little do you know, Yugyeom's heart is practically in his throat right now. He's been thinking about it all day and was finally convinced by Bambam to confront you about it. He mustered up the courage while he was showering, but now, with you standing in front of him, he wonders if he has the guts to do it. As he looks at you, the doubts are setting in, and he's quite close to just turning around and making some excuse to leave when you ask him,

"What is it Kyum-ah?"

Hearing his nickname roll off your lips like that makes his insides melt. Maybe he can do this. He steps toward you hesitantly. "Um, about today..." he begins, already feeling the heat rising in his cheeks. He hasn't been able to get that kiss out of his head all day.

He notices your hand absentmindedly graze your lips, as the kiss is on your mind too.

"Yes?" you ask quietly, the two of you finally making eye contact. You feel the anticipation may actually lead you to heart failure.

"Well, this is.. I'm probably overthinking..." Yugyeom looks down at the floor and begins to rub the back of his neck nervously. He inhales deeply, steeling his nerves. He drops his hand from his neck and gestures to you, looking you in the eyes again, finally thinking 'fuck it’.

"Was the kiss just acting?" He finally asks the question that's been on both of your minds all afternoon.

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding, as he begins to ramble anxiously. "-Because, well, I don't know. I really enjoyed it. It wasn't just acting for me. I wouldn't mind doing it again, I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is I like y-"

His rambling comes to an end when you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and silence him with a kiss. He stumbles backward a little, but quickly melts into the kiss and tangles a hand in your hair, while the other comes to rest on your lower back, pulling you closer to him.

Kissing Yugyeom above water is a whole new experience. You can taste the lingering flavor of his iced coco shake, instead of chlorine and lipstick, his mouth is warm and soft, instead of cool and slippery, there is no blanket of water surrounding your skin; it's just his lips on yours. A feeling you begin to think you could get used to. You feel him smile into the kiss, and you can't help but smile too. You both pull away just enough to look at one another. You watch as Yugyeom bites his lip, while staring at yours.

Giggling, you stand on the tip of your toes to peck him on the cheek as you ask, "Did that feel like acting?"

[ego-centrick-moved]

EGO MAYHEM THEORIES: II

THIS IS PART II. CLICK HERE FOR PART I.

OK FUCKERS LET’S FIRST COVER SOME STUFF:

Jack posted a photo to his instagram with red lights shining on his face as he wore chases shirt and marvin's mask was spotted in the back

he livestreamed some fortnight and @lisasepticsuperplier spotted marvin’s mask hanging on the whiteboard. @maggiemaemoo also noticed and pointed out when he went on a “pee break” the mask went missing. this same mask was on the whiteboard in his new “am i colorblind” video.

it’s important to note that the red lights were in every video between chapter one and the colorblind video.

RGB lights/lens flares in most thumbnails.

he wore a black shirt in every video up until today (5/9) where he switched it out for chases shirt in “try to fall asleep” and a fairly normal tee in “am i colorblind”

i don't think “am i colorblind” is important to our theories at all, i actually think for once we got a normal video? besides the mask, nothing off happens the whole video and there’s no red lights. did jack go back to sleep?

CHAPTER 4: “IT WAS ALL CONNECTED”

"you see a man in front of you. this man looks strange, not like any man you have seen before. suddenly, you realize you were looking in a mirror..."

by this point we know all of the intros are connected/parallel events having to do with jack/the egos. this intro doesn’t end with “stories untold.” it’s likely the case because in game, we learn what the characters “untold” story is- and we start to uncover jacks. 

all of his egos have a similar likeness to jack, so he could be referring to coming face to face with any of them. i think, however, this is more of a “i don’t recognize myself” statement. jack has lost his memories, he hasn’t been himself and his subconscious knows. that’s why he doesn’t recognize the man in the mirror, why it looks strange to him. mirrors have been a common theme over time regarding anti/broken!jack, and mirrors were also involved in the second video this day.

i really think jack did a good job choosing stories untold to be The Game(tm) where all this shit goes down. there’s a lot of very obvious connections you can make with jack/the ego’s stories and this game, and i enjoy it a lot. i took some notes while watching the video, it would take to long to expand on them individually so i'll just share this screenshot. it’s a lil messy:

now let’s jump to that ending. i’m still reeling from it; wig evaporated. 

i still have NO SOLID IDEA what he could’ve been referring to. does he remember everything or just some things? does he blame schneep or anti? does he remember who everyone is again? SO MANY QUESTIONS! gif credit

@fear-is-nameless pointed out he looks directly at the camera, not through it. almost as if he's talking to someone. i think he’s either talking to us, or talking to schneep/chase considering (i think) they were the ones trying to get him to wake up to begin with. 

@no-strings-puppet pulled together the whispers that you can listen to slowed here, slowed and reversed here.

@damienisverygood made a transcript of the whispers, i have a hard time hearing it so i cant rly confirm for 100% that this is accurate, but definitely worth noting.

@monochromemedic had a really interesting theory about schneeps involvement in it all, it’s definitely worth taking a peek at.

@booperdoopcr has a theory that really got me thinking as well.

i really do think someone has been “pulling the strings,” choosing what jack can remember and locking away whatever memories either a, hurt him or b, doesn’t serve their agenda. it’s hard to tell if it’s anti who’s in control of what jack knows or if it’s our doctor. 

i don’t think schneep is evil or malevolent. if he’s keeping jack from remembering it’s for jacks health or the well-being of the other egos/himself. it’s an outdated theory that anti thrives off of attention (i can’t remember but i think jack said that wasn’t quite the case) so it would make sense for henrick to lock away memories that involved anti, it would also explain why jack doesn’t remember him (considering he was corrupted last time we saw him). the thing that doesn’t quite add up with this theory is why schneep was so frazzled to see jack playing his role, when he knew jack didn’t remember him or really know what he was doing. schneep looked scared when confronting jack, he knew something was wrong. overnightwatch happened after schneep left for “vacation,” yet jack seems to forget about that too. i don’t dismiss this theory completely, it just leaves a lot of questions.

anti, however, would benefit from jack having amnesia about him. if he doesn’t know who anti is and doesn’t know there’s something fishy going on, he can’t stop it. it would make sense for anti to make jack forget schneep, considering he tried to save him. it also could’ve just been a casualty of trying to get jack to forget everything regarding the glitch demon himself. it would also make sense for schneep to be frazzled in this case when confronting jack, because he likely didn’t know who he was talking to. he recognized jack, but he didn’t know jack. if that makes any sense.

i stand strongly by my theory that memory-lacking jack is just a puppet of antis, being controlled by him without really knowing. schneep has experience with anti, he was likely afraid of the unknown possibilities that stirred around confronting an unstable, unknowing puppet!jack. i honestly believe schneep came back to try to save jack. after he confronted puppet!jack, i think he started some sort of therapy to get him to remember, and had chases help. (like a parallel to the dr. alex/mom and james in the game ya feel?)

@chronically-illustrated pointed out that all of the endings could be a bit of interpretation of what happened to jack over the years. James Ation had a hard time interpreting reality so the truth manifested in complicated and symbolic ways. the outros could’ve symbolized jack’s memories coming back to him/events that have been actively happening. 

we see jack “wake up” periodically (i think the jack that remembers is conscious, just locked away, being tortured and watching everything unfold) , leaving hints and cries for help littered here and there. they almost ALWAYS get removed though, seemingly by anti trying to get things back under control. the tags on the DDLC playthroughs that got deleted (canyouhearme, i remember what happened), the entire overnightwatch stream getting deleted (seemingly from memory as well), the random tags showing up on posts only to get deleted later (the sos in morse code). anti doesn’t want jack catching on, he deletes all signs of him he can and all of jacks cries for help while simultaneously taunting us and fucking with us (like overnightwatch as whole). thanks to @fear-is-nameless for reminding me about the tags on DDLC.

no traditional outro or intro

CHECK PLEASE

this video just seemed very off. i don’t have a lot to say about it, but i’ll let my notes sum it up:

i don’t really know what to make of it, other than it’s suspicious as all hell. the red light was in this video as well. 

he mentioned magic 6 times, made a blood/knife/threatening comment about 5 times, and got injured/burned twice. 

that mirror speech was all fine until he said “you got this- we got this.”  i just don't trust like that.

if anything, i think this just helps solidify the idea that memory vacant jack is just a puppet of antis. it might also reveal that anti’s whole plan is to become one with jack and be the foreman (host).

“papa” sounds a lot like anti in the closing scene lmao. i don’t think there’s much to read into, its just something funny. if he is a puppet i wonder if he sees anti as dad?

there IS a traditional outro/intro

TRY TO FALL ASLEEP

i hate this man. i absolutely despise him. im kidding i love him and his creativity and torture knows no bounds. this mother fuck really did this to us.

before even watching the video, i knew we were NOT in the clear, after jack seemingly “waking up” yesterday and then this video? i love hate him. 

here are my general notes on the video. i added lines to make it easier to read cos this was a Lot:

i take the notes during my first watch through so i'm sorry for the meaningless comments/reactions throughout. 

let’s break this down a lil bit. the video starts off weird. there’s no normal intro, and the red lights are there- just dim (this was brought to my attention from this post by @markired), “jack” fades in through static. 

@lizziebirb made this gif where you can see marvins mask show through the static:

then that creepy grin is back as he introduces the game. he stares directly at us as he makes his “speech” about going to sleep. when he makes the comment “when you drift off, that’s when the fun begins,” i half expected to hear anti’s laugh. bone-chilling to say the least.

the character in the game is someone who just went through an accident of some kind, and memory loss is mentioned (another parallel?). jack glosses over that, and instead focuses on brain damage. now hear me out; what if jack doesn’t want to remember? what if he wants to stay asleep because he’s afraid? i feel like due to the theme of the last game egos aside, he normally would’ve pointed it out or made a connection? i could be wrong, im just thinking out loud.

he also, out of place, brought up “why are all these people in my house” which reminded me a lot of a post he reblogged a few days ago.

he says “i don't know if i need a mask” (referring to gas masks in game) but that line stuck out to me, due to the fact two egos have masks and one of them even popped up in this video. the other ego (jbm) we haven't heard almost anything from since this all started. 

i found a lot in the TV snow. we see marvin, JJ, and a hidden message. ill link the post with all the pictures here, but i would like to highlight a few screenshots in specific.

in this one, jack’s webcam seems to glitch out when marvin pops up. i don't know if that was something that messed up in the rendering of the video, but it honestly reminds me a lot like the glitches that popped up during the antipocalypse days. with the way the color fades and there seems to be hints of color over his face. i wonder if there’s a second image there we just can’t see?

and then there was this:

i traced over the words, but that’s all i saw. i’ve seen people claim it says “you need to wake up” but i just... don’t see that. it would make sense, but i never see the end of this sentence and i very clearly see an “A” in the 3rd word, so it doesn’t say “need”. it could say “you have to flee,” considering that is the next word we see after this. if that’s the case, who is he fleeing from and why? 

it could ALSO be someone telling jack he HAS to wake up. like they’re telling him he doesn’t have a choice, he can't just keep acting like things didn’t happen and put off confronting his memories/his egos. after waking up yesterday, and then this video today, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s deliberately trying to fall back asleep.

we also see JJ. but why? this is the only time i see him, and as far as i know jack doesn’t even reference him in this video, unlike how he referenced marvin with the abundance of magic-related comments. what’s the significance of JJ being in this video/making an appearance?

he also makes a face worth mentioning after reading the phrase “loose lips spit sekrits.” (i’m p sure it’s spelt that way because in dreams it’s common for things to be a little off, especially words. it wasn’t a typo by the developers, it was deliberate). this face goes entirely full screen and only lasts for about a second. it could be for comedic effect because he thought it was a typo, but it could also be a certain someone throwing some shade, yanno? someone's been slipping us hints, “spitting sekrits,” and another someone is probably not very thrilled about it.

he then makes a comment about “revive” due to the word being on a podium. he picks up a fuse and says, “can the doctor revive me after this” (as JJ pops up on screen) which could be a direct reference to schneep “reviving” jack- or at least his attempts to.

fear was a big theme in this video, he repeated that he “wasn’t afraid” many times even though he was very obviously afraid. i wonder who he was trying to convince he wasn’t afraid? who are we even watching in this video, and who are they trying to prove something to? he breaks the fourth wall towards the end and tells us “no fear, im repeating it so you guys remember it.” does he want us to have no fear, is it important that we aren’t afraid? or is he trying to convince us/whoever he really isn’t afraid, just cautious for our sake? 

there were about 5 mentions of magic i caught throughout this video.

no traditional outro/intro

i’ll add more as the days go on, but in another two days (if there’s still ego stuff goin on) i’ll make another one. :D if you have any theories to add lmk by tagging me, messaging them to me, or just replying here ! i’ll throw them in where/if they fit and tag you. thanks for all the positive responses on my first theory post, i hope this one is as helpful. :D

Tags (im sorry): @jacksoopticboop @jacksepticeye-protection-squad @lum1natrix @puppet-master-anti @kasper-the-ghost @septicjacks @mrcamillaa @hufflepufftrax @rogue-of-broken-time  @marielgum @markired

[attract-mode-collective]

Exactly 79 Photos & Videos Concerning The Game Boy (plus other handhelds)

So... hope you’ve all been following me on Twitter, which is more or less the unofficial new home for Attract Mode. Mostly cuz Tumblr’s days are, alas, numbers, plus I haven’t warmed up to Medium as much as I had hoped to. Though I’ve actually spent the past two months republishing every single post that contains mainline Game Culture Snapshots, so it has remained somewhat useful at least.

Now, for a while there, I had been compiling every single thing tweeted. But because I’m now so damn active on that end… plus I’m busier than ever with other projects… I’m way behind with those digest posts, and the very idea of playing catch up legit gives me anxiety. Yet I have been sharing lots of cool things, which all deserve to be in the blog proper… and because a lot of them are specific to the Game Boy, I figure, why not just focus on that?

Like the above, which is a technique for producing full color photographs via the Game Boy Camera, and yet another thing that I can’t believe hasn’t made the rounds!

Sticking with Game Boy photography, here have a pair of mods that will greatly enhance picture quality. The first involves mounting SLR lens onto a Game Boy Camera (via ekeler.com)...

And the second has one shoving a Game Boy Camera into a SLR itself (via @MaxKriegerVG)...

As someone who was into video games as a kid, and also interested in photography, the Game Boy Camera was the first camera I was able to call my own. Am pretty sure this was the case for others as well?

I also remember seeing this ad in Nickelodeon Magazine (which I would eventually writer for, not too long later) and being absolutely gob smacked (via nintendroid.org)…

Though as much I loved Nintendo brand of FUNtography, I would quickly discover… as did everyone else I also assume… that taking pictures is serious business (via @PolandNintendo)…

Not only did I have a Game Boy Color, but I also had the Game Boy Printer (I still own both, for the record). Unfortunately my snapshots from Link’s Awakening have long since faded, but as with many things, you can find copies online (via gameandgraphics.com)…

Speaking of the world of print, coming soon is a handy guide to Nintendo handy game machine (via miki800.com)…

That one magazine ad featuring Princess Peach catch your eye as well? Well here’s a much better look at it (via suppermariobroth)…

I love handheld gadgets of all kinds, yet some of the popular ones confuse me. Like Hudson’s Shooting Watch; it makes no sense to have a gadget that can detect button presses without a game attached. Guess I’m not alone (via instagram.com/kazzycom)…

A realization I made while sifting through Game Boy related content is how popular the color yellow is with many. Cuz Pokemon? Anyhow, the final post from a blog that specializes in gorgeous photographs of gorgeous hardware, which I just brought up again very recently (via hard-aware)…

How your parents used to trade Pokemans online (via melonjaywalk)…

And no, Game Boys weren't the only things that one could connect to keitais ya know. And yes, Game Boys aren’t the only portables I’ll be showcasing (via anthony10000000)…

I own quite a few VMUs and am always looking to expand my collection… but nothing yellow, sorry. Instead, I want the one covered with dolphins (via anthony10000000)…

So my new favorites artist is Eri Kitamura, and not just cuz she makes pretty looking Game Boys…

She also makes pretty looking girls playing Game Boys (well, this one is technically listening to music)…

Was originally going to post the first thing from Eri that caught my eye, which is a Game Boy with a girl on it, but instead here’s a Game Boy with a girl on it playing a Game Boy…

Time for two more videos from the same individual responsible with the process for producing color photographs at the very top. And it’s what everyone has been waiting… specifically the backlit Game Boy Color mod everyone has been waiting for.

The process is detailed in this two-part video, and here’s the first one (it’s about 50 minutes long cuz spoilers: this shit ain’t easy)…

And here’s part two, which is ONLY 40-ish minutes long…

The author of the videos actually has a store, so if the process seems a bit too daunting, you can purchase a pre-modded unit for $250. Actually, this one is $260, cuz of the dual shells. Quite the price tag, yet somehow totally worth it (via instagram.com/esotericmods)…

Now might be a good time to mention how… remember that GBA with the GameCube finish from eBay a few months back? Well, I decided to get the one that resembles a Super Famicom, something I’ve been lusting over for years.

Well, here’s what the aforementioned seller had in his listing…

And this is what I got instead…

Yeah, that green shoulder button is not the right shade. After some complaining, I got the seller to admit that the one in the picture was hand painted; he didn’t know where it get ones that it’s exact color as on a Super Fami controller.

He also had a no refund policy, yet I bitched & moaned enough to warrant an exchange, for another Cube-esque model, one sans the stick. Cuz it’s comparatively boring to look at, here’s a version with the stick…

Again, mine just has the standard d-pad. As for my replacement… the colors of the A & B buttons are not an exact match, once again. But it’s close enough (am mostly just sick of dealing with that guy, aka johnnys_merchandise, whom you should all avoid btw), plus I have started to scour AliExpress for replacements.

BTW, my failure to obtain a modded handheld that channels another form of hardware has me wondering if I should go for something completely different instead (via instagram.com/wakuwakuisland)…

Up in the mountains, flower bloom amongst Game Boys & Game Boy Colors, whereas deep in the forest, you’ll find mushrooms and Game Boy Advances (via pxchinko)…

Some say memories are fuzzy, though for others, they're leafy (via lyosphe)…

I’ve looked all over for tinycartridge's original post, but no luck, so you can all instead have my personal copy of the earthy wallpaper that was shared years ago (and which I still to this very day)...

The Game Boy Micro, DS, and DS Lite are like family, and like siblings, there can the occasional squabble (via benkyo-es)…

@frankcifaldi: When I met this guy in 2003 and he told me he was going to make an extensive fan site about the Supervision, a Taiwanese Game Boy knockoff, I was like "sure dude." 15 years later he actually launched the thing??

Meanwhile, the Game & Watch Perfect Catalogue just came out, with the full low down on all 59 models. BTW, had no idea there were 59 in total until @ionadisco mentioned it…

How Game & Watches were sold in America; I fondly recalls this ad in-between the pages of Amazing/Spectacular/Web of Spider-Man (via suppermariobroth)…

And how Game Boys were sold in Japan, one day one apparently, which would explain this salesperson’s rather perplexed demeanor (via flashbak.com)…

Silly as it sounds, and as silly as he looks, the US version of Firebrand is nonetheless a warm & welcoming face from my childhood (via nintendometro)...

Mario dropping a knowledge bomb (via suppermariobroth)…

Here’s Peach seemingly kicking Toad’s ass in Super Mario Bros Deluxe, which I’ve been meaning to tweet for a while now, but now seems like the right time & place for obvious reasons (via nintendometro)…

A cute comic about someone finally beating a game after ten years, or at least I believe that's the case (you know, language barrier and all; via @desune593)

Sailor Moon seems to enjoy handheld gaming more so than in the arcades (via uglygreenjacket)…

It saddens me that ravages of time is robbing me of my precious memories, including the names of 90s anime, hence why I had to ask on Twitter who exactly is this (answer was Tenchi Muyo; via shxtfased)...

It’s SethEverman, just playing some pokemon blue…

Speaking of music, it again saddens me that I wasn’t about to make the trip to Japan to catch chiptunes at Square Sounds, and various associated venues. At least @bit_shifter_ took this great snapshot of Glomag at Cyberpunks Osaka…

Meanwhile, here in NYC, we actually still have record stores. And you can grab Josh’s latest release, his first in 12 years(!) at Rough Trade (via bit-shifter)…

Though back to Japan; attended Square Sounds would have also afforded me the chance to check out Tokyo Game Show, where I could have gotten that VMU shaped USB drive that was being sold at the Sega booth (via miki800)…

A few weeks before TGS, there was an earthquake in Japan, in northern island Hokkaido. Many were left without power, but one person was able to keep up with the news, thanks to an old DS peripheral that basically provides bunny ears (via kotaku.com)…

On a semi-related note, here’s someone watching old ECW VHS tapes on their Game Gear (via heavyelectricity)…

Sorry, but the only other thing I have that’s related to Sega’s Master System on the go is this gif from a pizza ranch salad dressing (yikes) commercial, which was cross-promoting Sonic Chaos (via sonicthehedgeblog)...

I have no idea why I'm so amused by this Getty Image of a Neo Geo Pocket that was confiscated at summer camp. Or perhaps no explanation is needed? (via hellomrkearns)…

Speaking of the Great Outdoors, here’s my buddy Steve enjoying some Mario Kart 8 in the middle of a forest (via instagram.com/vitaminsteve)…

And speaking of Mario Kart on the Switch, Bowser seems like a pretty cool dood to have a car trip (via suppermariobroth)…

The Switch is so beloved that people are doing fan art, not for any particular game but the simple the act of playing with it (via annazees)…

Granted, one of the best things about the Switch is all the different ways in which one can play (via kanekoshake)…

If you enjoy your Switch on the go and are looking for a way to store games… and are a diehard Breath of the Wild fan as well… plus if you have access to a 3D printer (via miki800.com)…

It’s a tribute to Star Wars… games… all of them… featuring Princess Leia focused on her DMG (via deviantart.com/robduenas)...

BTW, do you still have your Game Boy? If not, here ya go (via anthony10000000)…

When the realization hits that your Game Boy Color library is incomplete (via @Bootleg_Stuff)…

Back to my buddy Steve, who visited the Primark at the Staten Island mall and took pics of the game related apparel that, sadly, were no longer in stock by the time I was able to swing by. With the one thing I really wanted being this shirt…

This pair of Super Mario Land X Air Jordans is only $1,350.00 (via miki800.com)…

I’m sure you’ve seen him already, but for the sake of completion, here’s that grandpa from who rigged this bike with 11 phones to become a Pokemon Go master (via bbc.com)…

Yet another sign of our times, literally (via fuckdragonballz)…

This image features a PSP and a MacBook, both of which are from the mid-2000s, yet feels very late 1990s/early 2000s. Why? Those USB cables (via jcgraphix)…

And last but not least, here’s Paris Hilton with her DS in 2005 (via @ParisHilton)…

[earnian]

Uneven numbers!

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

It’s literally always open :9. There’s no doors on them

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Yellow. I love yellow, it’s so happy :).

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

2 C outside right now, 20 in the house.

(9) How Many Followers?

169, but I’m 90% sure, that 140 of them are just porn bots.

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel-Grey.

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Depends on the day, and where my shower thoughts bring me.

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14

“Abra can’t actually attack, but when you can escape bullies this easily, why bother?” -The official Pokemon handbook 1999

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

My best friend, Briar.

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

I didn’t eat today cause it’s only 4:20am, but yesterday I had a mixture where I made myself spaghetti, once cooked, I made some chicken noodle soup, put real chicken in with it, some peppers, mushroom, and some garlic powder, when fully cooked, I pour it on top of the spaghetti. Eat with fork and spoon. It un-dry’s the spaghetti, and gives it the chicken noodle flavour. Makes pasta less boring in my opinion :).

(21) Favourite Animal?

Ferret.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

I have an unfit schedule, but I try my absolute best to sleep between the times of midnight and 2am.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Pool, I’m afraid of beds of water.

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Honestly, as long as the tap water is proven safe and fine, either or. Depends on the taste to be honest.(I’m a picky water drinker.)

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Animals

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

I’m a nintendo boy, but honestly, I’ve played much more playstation than xbox. I also enjoy a lot more playstation games over the years.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Show me some. I’ve never seen magic IRL.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Like flip your tongue over? I can flip it in every direction, haha. I can also do something really gross with it, but that’s another story ;-).

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Actually, no.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

I haven’t cause I heard that if you touch a butterfly’s wings, they can die from it :(. (Might of been a moth, but I don’t want to risk it.)

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Literally everyday. Man, if someone asked me what type of dream I had everyday, I’d probably be one of those weird blogs that gets blocked LOL. My dreams are messed up.

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

8 Below, My dog skip, Hachi,

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

I’d just honestly be happy that you chose me to go to a concert with.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Very heavy to an extent.

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Uhh, I love writing to people who what I write might influence or inspire them. I love reading things that show people care.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents, cause it’s for someone else.

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Snow, Winter, Christmas.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

I think that’s what it’s asking for. The 2 new followers are porn blogs if you’re curious, haha :9.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Teaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

I really don’t like labels, I find people should just love whatever they love. But I do like all males.

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Caterpie.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I don’t use instagram much at all, I don’t really know what it is. I don’t find I look good enough for an instagram.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yes

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Isn’t sleeping in your car illegal? Can’t you get a fine for doing that. I’d probably find a motel.

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Deadpool 2? I don’t watch a lot of movies. The most recent movie I’ve wanted to watch and am excited for is “Thelma”, but I can’t find anywhere to watch/Download it.

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“Whoever threw that paper, ya mom’s a hoe.” -Vine- (My roommate is a bad influence, haha.)

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YES. Almost every time I see a swing set, I yell “SWING.” and start swinging. If I move from my house, I hope there’s a swing set nearby. 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Sudoku. I’m an old fart, hehe.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

5 hours? 50 hours? Who’s counting, I’m on it to waste time ;-).

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

I actually do, sure it’s scary, and I hate how I don’t know the person, so I’ll never know their judgement on me. But meeting a new person that might build into someone is what I like. I actually wouldn’t mind meeting new people. Just having people around.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Depends on the day, sometimes yes, sometimes no. It makes no difference with me. I’m getting myself to be open to as many things as possible, so if I ever one day meet someone, I wont have troubles adjusting. :).

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Depends on the day, Sometimes I sleep in just my boxers, sometimes PJ’s,

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Both honestly, if someone is willing to hang out with me, no time is a bad time :).

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

OH BOY, I’ll just tell a short one for now. Once I had a dream where I was being chased by this fox, The whole town had been run down by a bunch of bandits and everyone including my parents were slaughtered. I ran into the forest where the fox spotted me alone and scared and just chased me headstrong. I was quickly running low on stamina and started slowing down. The fox realized this and started circling, getting closer and closer. Eventually I dropped from the adrenaline stopping and the fox was pretty much next to me, sniffing me. I wailed my arms to try to shoo it away, but every time I wailed, I heard the snipping of the fox’ mouth trying for my arm, so I stopped. A short distance from behind me, I heard a growl, a husky low toned growl. the fox continued to playfully jump, as if it was joyful. Toying with it’s prey. Then a whimper’d thunk came from the direction of the fox, and I hear tumbling a short distance away. I look up and this giant ass bear is standing in front of me. I cover my neck and drop my head back down, but the bear bit his teeth into my head and started violently shaking it. I woke up in a panic where my head was shaking like crazy, felt like I was having a seizure.

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

I absolutely love the sound of other people’s voices. I just LOVE it. it makes me so happy to hear another person’s voice and range. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Like someone who lost something, and looks happy on the outside though, but you know there’s still something wrong with them.

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Never really wanted a tattoo.

Thank you so much for playing! And in case this was the same person and just wanted the odd of the same post I did before, The answer to those are underneath. Sorry everyone for making a long post, :(.

1:   What are you wearing?

PJ’s and Socks

3:   Ever had a terrible breakup?

No, but I did have to end a relation with someone cause they thought we were dating and I told them I was gay. :(

5:   How much do you weigh?

... 99-109 pounds...

7:   Any piercings that you want?

One on the eyebrow, but I think that’s it.

9:   Favorite Show?

I wont include anime in this, so favorite show would have to be Over the Garden Wall? I watch it every year during halloween time.

11:   Something you miss?

Hanging out with people without it having to do with video games.

13:   How old are you?

22

15:   Hair Color?

Brown highlighted, Natural.

17:   Favorite singer?

Uhhh, I’m not much for listening to music with vocals, but I LOVE amy lee’s voice.

19:   Loud music or soft?

Either or. No preference.

21:   How long does it take you to shower?

Depends on how long my brain wants me to process conversations I’ll never have.

23:   Ever been in a physical fight?

Been in one? No, I’ve seen one in front of my eyes though... the anxiety is terrifying.

25:   Turn off?

Hypocrisy.

27:   Fears?

Being alone

29:   Last time you cried?

1 month ago actually.

31:   Last book you read?

The Official Pokemon handbook

33:   Last show you watched?

I’m currently watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

35:   The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

It’s my mom B).

37:   Place you want to visit?

I’ve never really been outside of the small area I live in, so I never actually put thought in this. The world is large and scary, I don’t know to be honest.

39:   Do you have a crush?

6 of them, in the fridge B).

41:   Last time you were insulted and what was it?

3 months ago. Briar told me to fuck off.

43:   What color shirt are you wearing?

Skin colour. Heh

45:   Wearing any bracelets?

Yes actually, my mom made me it. And I love it :). I wear it everyday. I also have 2 hairbands, always.

47:   Last song you sang?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu2OYcgr4rM Me and my friend love the part where it goes “WaterWaterWaterWaterWaterWaterWaterWater” Besides that we hate the song LOL.

49:   Last time you hung out with anyone?

Yresterday? I played Tales of Berseria with Briar.

Thank you so much for playing