#realized i better post this before it’s my day to post my exchange art LMAO

[sapphic--kiwi]

realized i never posted this art i did in july of carlos with mine & @ironheartwriter‘s co-creation, Cielo the shiny Umbreon ��

(forever obsessed with lana’s tarlos pokémon AU. more info about these two under the cut)

background: Cielo was a female Eevee that Carlos found injured and nursed back to health, forming a strong protective bond between them. She eventually evolved into Umbreon, and though she and Carlos are incredibly close, she’s not in his work team of Pokémon since he doesn’t want her getting hurt again. Cielo also takes a good while to warm up to TK when he and Carlos start hooking up/eventually dating, but with time she becomes just as fiercely protective of him as she is of Carlos.

[merrysithmas]

hi! what are your predictions for boris and theo’s future after the end of the novel? are they going to move together and where - new york or antwerp? is boris going to get clean? is theo going to find out boris lied about his wife and kids? please share your thoughts I’m really curious!

I don’t have any predictions bc I know that Donna will just ruin their lives - Lmao. But my FANTASY is that Theo becomes some kind of tenured art professor that travels back and forth from NYC to London with his grants from the high-brow University he works for — he’s head of Art History and looks up to the Dean of his school as a mentor and mother-figure (can’t get away from that one, can ya Theo).

Boris works in his underground Odessa mafia crime syndicate - stationed in Antwerp but often traveling to NYC, Tel Aviv, Miami, Budapest, London, Amsterdam, and various other places — Theo kind of on the DL works as his stony-faced accountant being a bit knowledgable on the laundering and financial fraud end of things himself (he used to dabble in millions in art fraud himself) and fine arts consultant, and everyone knows they are these inseparable partners of unknown dynamic. Boris, flippant and personable and wily, Theo quiet and elitist and aloof - always at each other’s sides.

So Theo’s become a bit of a “we have to find lost and stolen relics and return them to the places where they truly belong, or the very least to a museum!” and uses his grant money from his University to investigate such matters and has been successful in several returns (cue proud newspaper articles that Hobie framed and puts up on the mantle) and has brought some amount of prestige to the University.

However Theo’s philanthropic fixation often clashes with Boris’ “holy fuck this is worth 300 million dollars” attitude and there are hijinx, usually with Boris always caving and/or Theo making it worth his while by appealing to his Boris-ly interests (i.e. “Please I need your resources to go to Syria” “Are you fucking kidding me? For what a plank of wood?” “It’s a sacred Persian relic and it’s in the hands of people like Martin!” “Listen to my words, Potter. It is. plank. of fucking. wood.” “Fuck you, Boris. There will be gold.” “... Gold? How much gold exactly?”).

So as Theo dabbles in Boris’ life, Boris also pops up in Theo’s, unexpectedly interrupting Theo’s lectures in the halls of European museums, waving to the kids, pulling Theo away for “just a moment” as he explains someone in the museum in trying to kill him insisting they “switch coats” and Theo has to hide him in the archives. Or he plops down while Theo is eating outside in a café in Strasbourg, casually sitting down across from him while Theo grades papers and smiles to himself at the familiar shadow falling on his gradebook (they eventually get into a fight and Theo calls him a “walking contraceptive” before he blusters off and Boris is left to eat the rest of Theo’s brunch in the company of a bunch of diners who are side-eying him, taking to reading a paper Theo left behind while finishing his Gerwurztraminer).

Or Boris is exhuasted, burning the midnight oil, black rings under his eyes, thinner than usual, wiry and punkish, under the gun, dead asleep on Theo’s couch in his office at his London library University headquarters, and Theo carefully tucks a heavy woolen blanket around his shoulders as he sleeps like the dead, deep tired breaths, safe, at home, as the rain pours down like a flood outside and Theo smokes quietly in the dark working on another grant proposal.

Or Theo turns up at Boris’ door in Antwerp, late nightcap after a surprise flight for a conference and seminar that he hasn’t told Boris about, and he sees Boris has barely eaten for weeks, holed up after trying to figure he and his gang’s way out of some absolute fuckery they got themselves into and losing one of his longtime members in the process — grieving and he can’t show anyone else and it hurts. And Theo runs his hand through Boris’ hair, and Boris closes tired, red eyes. And Theo is cooking him a meal at 3am, putting on some boiling hot tea, insisting he “come home” for a while. To New York.

New York City in the winter — operas and symphonies — snow falling like feathers and covering Central Park, winter holidays from school and Theo doesn’t have work, gallery events at museums that Boris can complain about - the Old Rich Hierarchal stuffiness - the insulting of which always makes him feel a bit better. Old movies and (bad, hard) drugs and stealing shit for old times sake from Duane Reade even though Boris has enough money for the two of them to span three lifetimes. Hot showers after getting in from the freezing cold and Theo’s apartment is meticulous and Boris disturbs it like a tornado. And they sleep in and for some brief moments, sometimes, tipped over vodka bottles, creaking floorboards in the night, city sounds and Vegas-bright Christmas lights, it’s like they’re kids again.

Meanwhile on the other end Boris’ gang is like a second family to Theo — Myriam, Gyuri, Cherry, Anatoly, Shirley T, Dima (and all their girlfriends, wives, boyfriends - sometimes all three): one is constantly showing up in rotation somehow in Theo’s life. Either randomly in London pulling him off the street “casually” SWEARING he’s not the subject of an assassination plot, or turning up sheepishly and/or desperately at his doorstep for some Boris un-sanctioned advice that Theo feels he is not exactly equipped to give (advice on girlfriends or spurned wives or cheating or kids or haircuts or boobjobs or what’s “in fashion in New York”) but they keep showing up like he’s the crew psychologist so he just pulls out the dining chair at this point. Myriam, now a close friend forged by their mutual taste for the High End of life, keeps an eye on Boris for Theo when Theo is across the ocean — she knows why, of course, they all do, an open secret. The whole gang has them, a criminal syndicate of misfits.

And one day Theo comes to Boris with a proposal to go to Siberia to retrieve an ancient sacred object called The Divine Source (an source of immortality) that was coveted and obscured by the Soviet Union and Boris is like fuck no Fuck no because if there is one place on Earth that Boris fears and sends a shiver up his spine and he doesn’t fuck with - it’s Mother Russia. Growing up in post-Soviet countries it’s an unspoken unanimous agreement among the gang, an overhanging government that has mostly wanted or had their eyes on them all since they were kids for various reasons - stealing or living on the street or used by street gangs - something you don’t want to get involved with or retamper.

And Theo’s a bit obtuse, still American for all his worldly ventures and education, having grown up in relative privilege from a sociological standpoint, and is super upset about Boris’ refusal to help (and thus, his gang’s refusal to help) - thinking they’re overreacting or being bombastic about their fears. The Dean is insisting on his help and Boris has long held suspicions about this lady and has kept it to himself because of Theo’s adulation of her (Boris knows Theo and mother figures are let’s say, a sensitive spot). Not wanting to disappoint the University (and moreover - her) Theo says fine he’ll just go alone to which Boris freaks the fuck out claiming its dangerous and he’s going to get himself killed and the Dean is an untrustworthy bitch who is manipulating him.

Cue an all-out end-of-times fight with Theo basically saying fuck him for all time, he’s done. And Theo leaves for Siberia by way of Syria, and Boris is fuming, left behind.

Long story short Theo gets betrayed by the Dean in a moment of gutwrenching horrifying realization - he was being used, Boris was right, now she has the relic and he’s going to die alone and freezing to fucking death, shot by some operative from the secret organization that Dean is in — he hears footsteps, sees the armored guard walking towards him with a gun, feels his stomach drop and braces himself and then Pow - the guy falls to the ground after a blow to the head revealing— Boris, behind him.

And Theo, overjoyed, alive, is asking how the fuck he got here, what he’s doing here— to which Boris replies incredulously Who do you think has been keeping you safe all this time?

Then Boris, who is very much on edge in this place, gets captured and tortured and Theo is forced to find and hand over the Divine Source in exchange for his life — which he does, terrified of the Source getting into their hands but more terrified of losing Boris. The Source is then greedily opened and eats all of their souls (because of moral impurity reasons but spares Theo and Boris for their self-sacrifcing devotion to each other) a la Raiders of the Lost Ark because of what Theo discovers, excitedly, was a mistranslation in Aramaic (thief of eternal life, not giver) and Boris is like — talk about what do you call it? false advertising.

So they return back to Antwerp with nothing but they’ve got each other and they snooze hard on each other on the plane ride back — several pounds of gold glinting away in Boris’ carry-on under the seat, alongside some old notes of other obscure and stolen relics, because he unknowingly picked up the Dean’s bag, not his, when escaping the sacred city.

So basically their life is a mix of Lara Croft video games (when I got the Divine Source storyline lmao but added a few things), Eastern Promises, The Odd Couple, The Da Vinci Code, and dark academia mixed with shitton of doping. With this mostly unspoken bi-continental devotion to each other over-arching it all.

[pastryseungs]

On Children (2018)

Creator: Wú Xiao-le

Dir. Chen Wei-ling

⚠️ Spoilers !! ⚠️

very long post ahead~

i recently watched this Taiwanese show on Netflix and it gives me Black Mirror vibes as well! i relate to this show so much that some have made me ugly cry lmao. its so weird and entertaining that some leave you silent and zoning out for a few minutes after each episode ends :<

Ep. 1 Mother’s Remote

dude this episode was honestly so sad and infuriatingggg. believe it or not though, some parents just actually want the best for their children and their future, but some actually take it too far.. like this one.

Pei Wei’s parents are going through a divorce where Wei (Tzu-Chuan Liu) ends up living with his mother (Yu-Xuan Wang). after forging the signatures on his report card and manipulating his grades, Wei’s mother restarts his day with a remote to give him the chance to “fix” his mistakes. he is eventually pulled out from school to attend cram school.. ten times to pay for what he did. eventually, when it slightly goes back to normal, he meets a girl named Lan (Hsin-Yu) and the two immediately became friends because of their love for art.. which also immediately blossomed into puppy-love after a month.

Wei’s mother eventually catches the two at the library and treats them out to lunch, before banning Wei from seeing the girl again. he fights back, which sends him back to the day before he was about to meet Lan for the first time. but Lan doesn’t recognize him at all, which led him to countless suicide attempts which were all reversed by his mom’s remote. the line, “How many times do I have to do this?” hurts me so much, he just wanted to be free and happy and his mother just can’t give him that all because of bad grades.. damn..

the scene cuts and changes to a few years later with Wei as an adult.. at first i thought he actually was still with Lan but it turns out it was another woman :< that night, Wei is asked by his mother to go out for dinner and he meets Riley, the daughter of his mother’s friend. the two talk for awhile, Riley revealing that she was actually in a relationship that her family knows but doesn’t accept and Wei revealing that he’s also in a relationship as well.

Wei then buys an airplane ticket for his mother, and went to his mother’s house to retrieve the remote. with his mother forgetting her passport at home, her taxi goes back to her house and sees Wei across the street, holding the remote.

this scene was actually so sad for me, because the last part was Wei going back in time when he met Lan. i actually felt like Lan’s the person that gave Wei a sense of freedom when he felt suffocated/drowned by his mother’s strict attitude towards him. you can actually see the longing in his eyes when he went back there.. gosh i was so sad when this episode ended. this one’s actually one of my favorite episodes !! the open ending led me to believe that Wei and Lan actually ended up together and lived happily ever after~ 😤💗

Ep. 2 Child of the Cat

after failed attempts at getting good grades, Guo-yan (Hsiu-Fu Liu) meets a girl named Lo Chih-Wei (Yu-Ping Wang) after seeing her having a nervous breakdown and harassing another student, she then tells him about some sort of parallel universe and that it offers them something to kill in exchange for intelligence. Guo-yan then develops this delusion after killing their house cats with cat food mixed with rat poison.. he then starts succeeding in his academics, even announcing his perfect score in his mock exam during his grandfather’s funeral.

the line, “Why must you impose all you want on me?” was so sad.. his parents were putting him under so much pressure, even extending his tutoring hours just to make him study harder and try to pass the exams. but at that point, it was too late, his tutor informed his mother that he needed to see a psychiatrist since he might be going through something, but his mother was indenial, thinking that his son was alright and that he was probably just the typical lazy teenager, which was not the case. he was already asking for help through his actions !! even going as far as making his mother find a non-existent noisy cat to take care of during his exams because he couldn’t concentrate.

this episode kind of frustrates me because Guo-yan’s mother listens too much to their relatives/in-laws advices and criticisms that she doesn’t listen or even bat an eye when her son is literally going through something. the ending was somewhat happy though, with Guo-yan learning how to do carpentry and building their own shop maybe?

Ep. 3 The Last Day of Molly

to be honest, this one made me ugly cry :< you’ll never really know until its too late, huh? Molly’s mom (Ivy Yin) probably won’t know that she was the reason behind Molly’s demise if it wasn’t for that machine/gadget.

Molly (Gingle Wang) had a lot to offer in their world with her writing talent. sadly, in order to save face, she was too obedient about the fact that her mother wanted to enroll her to Medical school and make her get a degree in another country. she was the highest-ranking student in their school, which made her mother have high expectations for her. she disapproved of everything she did, saying that a job wouldn’t be suitable for her and that she has to work hard in order to work a certain job. it just baffles me how much some parents think its their choice to choose their child’s career path .-.

the saddest part was when Molly’s mother found out that she had caused this mess. the guilt literally made her feel like she should be behind bars for the rest of her life, and that Molly would want that too. her demise was probably the best revenge she could think of, since she resented her mother for making her study and focus on things that she thinks will make her rich in the future.

i felt so sad for Molly’s sister, Kelly, because she was already expected to follow in her sister’s footsteps, even going so far as extending her tutoring hours while she was still dealing with grief. personally, i wouldn’t be able to do so until i already feel better and moved on a little. its hard to deal with grief especially when you’re so used to seeing that person all the time, which is why i somehow understand their pain.

honestly though, i can’t help but ugly cry during the part when Molly says, “Mom, I love you and I’m sorry.” if it wasn’t for Molly’s death, her mother wouldn’t realize that she was taking her children and their family for granted.. damn.

Gingle Wang is such a great actor !! she also kinda looks like Minnie from G-Idle too! :>

Ep. 4 Peacock

always be careful what you wish for. tbh, this episode was really weird and scary for me. Qiao-Yi (Yu-Xuan Wang) was ready to risk it all just to get everything she had always dreamed of, which included her sight, her talent for painting, seeing colors, and her appearance. she was literally turning into a peacock just to get help her family stay afloat and help her enter a good college and stay in school to be rewarded as their donor.

her school, Victor, was really weird as well. students were not allowed to ask questions during class, which led to students literally isolating another student in class because she was curious.. no wonder some are having a hard time in their class. the school was full of self-centered, snobby brats that only cared if you’re rich or have something luxurious to offer, it was honestly so weird for me. i’d hate to experience that kind of environment, i probably wouldn’t last three days.

if i was in her situation, i’d probably want to fit in with the others as well if it meant being less lonely and having someone to talk to even if everything you talk about is too shallow for your liking. it was just so sad that they were willing to trade anything just for a good life and financial stability, which led to Qiao-Yi’s mom (Chiung-Hsuan Hsieh) as the peacock in exchange for Qiao-Yi’s and her brother in their parents’ (or maybe just her mother?) dream schools.

Ep. 5 ADHD is Necessary

it was just so wrong for the Ruo-wa’s mother (Chuan Chen Yeh) to make her daughter fake a mental illness to help them continue living a lavish lifestyle, which eventually led to Ruo-wa’s (Frances Wu) demise.

Ruo-wa’s mother wanted nothing but for Ruo-wa to achieve and maintain a high-rank in terms of intelligence. but, you see, Ruo-wa isn’t exactly the best in terms of academics, the girl was so focused in school that she doesn’t even know what she’s really great at! her mother was so desperate for both of them- mostly her, to stay afloat that she would make her daughter detailed and organized notes to help her study, to help them keep the lavish lifestyle, because she couldn’t accept the reality that they had to live at the Pigeon Cage because of Ruo-wa’s intelligece. she also did this for her late son, which caused her to be awarded for having a high-ranking son, which also led to his demise. all this time, she thought that her son had died from a car crash, but he was actually destroyed for having a low rank and wanting to be a carpenter.

also, i can’t help but point out that they look like characters from the movie Divergent (2014). they literally look like they belong in Abnegation/Candor/Erudite lmao. and people who are being sent to the Pigeon Cage were Amity/Factionless/Divergent, since they were all special and talented in their own ways and they knew how to farm; sadly, they don’t belong in the real world. i was also so happy when i saw Wei, Lan, Guo-yan, Kelly, and Qiao-Yi !! like, at least they were saved from their parents’ grasps and they’re now free to do whatever they desire.

i was so sad when the police went there and trashed everything, killing the children that weren’t even bothering anybody just because they were low-ranking and weren’t doing their part in the community. in the end, it was Ruo-wa’s mother that had the last laugh and it was just so infuriating for me.. i wanted her to have the karma !! not Ruo-wa’s demise !! 😤

the place in order and everyone was at peace and getting along, why did she have to ruin it all for them? and why did Ruo-wa had to be destroyed ??? i feel like i could compare this to Divergent people ?? since they’re different and they’re being destroyed for not belonging somewhere.. like a Divergent person.

wellll that ends my post !! also, if this is what eventually happens to technology, then imma head out ✌️😗

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 9

• So in some ways this chapter is a refreshing change from the Walker Ranch, for the other...it does seem a little shoehorned-in and last minute to me. And...if the only chapter where Hana gets substantial content is one that sounds kinda last minute - that's usually not a good sign.

• Here is what you can block if you don't want to see this on your dash: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• TW: Discussions on controlling parenting, brief mention of infertility, rambles about my visits to my therapist and what I learned there - also connected to controlling parenting.

• Screenshot Credits:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel and @youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal

Drake: The BizzysChoices YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch and @ladatheimpaler

Liam: @callmetippytumbles and me.

• I was happy to see Olivia but could the writers just...not make Hana sound so confused, to make Olivia's route look more appealing? Olivia may be more at home with some of these tactics but if Hana did as much research as her eloquent monologue on the Auvernese Hot Stones suggests she did, she wouldn't just be standing there going "me scared". I know logically Olivia's option needs to be the one having an edge, but there are ways you can work around that better.

• Title: Ladies' Night

Alternative Title: This is How Hana Does Her Research:

And This is How Isabella Does Her Research:

• "Just us girls", Isabella says. I'm going to get a headache from the number of times she says that while trying out new torture techniques on me.

• Liam warns the MC that this might be a test, Hana offers to come with the MC, and whoever her LI is, seems reluctant to send her off (though I have yet to see the Maxwell version of this, since in his friend route he seems encouraging of it once Hana steps up to be with us).

• Let's be honest, Hana is coming because she knows that more often than not her advice has been the only thing that had saved our asses. She KNOWS.

• Hana is also the genius who found the loophole in that message.

• DRAKE is the one suggesting Olivia as backup for our trip (I see a pattern here. Drake is the only one who recognized Olivia when she pranked him, now Drake is the first one recommending her name for this trip. What gives?).

• So I've played this chapter both with Olivia's diamond option, and without. Her duchy takes pride in its warriors and in shows of military strength, so she is more than used to their rhetoric. There is also an interesting juxtaposition given between fire (Auvernal) and ice (Lythikos), as one can see in the hot stones scene. The chapter is clearly set up in the expectation that you will buy this scene.

• Hana is fascinated by the architecture and modern glam of the place, but it is Olivia who hints that Auvernal may be facing financial difficulties, wondering what may be "hiding behind the glitter and polish".

• We finally meet Queen Isabella, and for a royal who wants to prove that they can do diplomacy as well as they can do blustering shows of machoism (like her husband), she seems to be failing big time.

• For all the "research" Isabella seems to have been doing on the ladies in the court, all she knows about Hana is that she has a penchant for horseriding, had a failed engagement, and wasn't chosen by Liam.

• What? Practically everyone has seen how well Hana performs at court. In my playthrough, her fighting skills both at the boutique before the wedding, and her role in defeating Anton, have become legendary. She became a Guardian of the Realm. If you're married to the MC she is a freaking duchess and I'm pretty sure the woman who married her would know deep down that Hana deserved that title more. Hana is a freaking fashion icon (as you can tell by what Ana says at her engagement photoshoot and when little Valerie from Lythikos tells her in Chapter 3). Like...like...this stuff is common knowledge. Isabella doesn't HAVE any other excuse besides "I suck so bad at reading up that my term paper would end in a single paragraph and be marked 'F'. Same goes for my pathetic excuse of a research team."

• Also why is Hana the only person getting dragged for not getting chosen? Even Madeleine and Olivia don't face this as much, and one of them was dumped twice by two Princes!

•

(Top three screenshots are mine, the second row is from @callmetippytumbles playthrough, and the third is from @youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal Hana playthrough).

The first choice calmly has the MC list Hana's best qualities, while the other two clearly call out Isabella on her clear lack of respect for Hana, who is a guest in her home that she should have researched about properly. The last option not only speaks of her best traits but also of her being the MC's wife (and by extension, a prominent duchess).

• Isabella and her pathetic excuse for an "apology". "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that would be such a sore subject". That's a non-apology, a "sorry you're so thin-skinned" apology. She isn't even admitting she's clearly wrong and hasn't done her homework. She's still saying that Hana is merely all of the things she mentioned - just snidely placing the blame on them for being so sensitive instead. Like...fuck you Isabella.

•

I think Olivia should remember that she's lucky Hana "happens to be the forgiving sort" too, because that's how she got away with saying exactly the same thing last book. I like Olivia, but...hypocrisy much?

• LMAO @ Isabella when she says Olivia that she recognizes her because "might recognizes might", and Olivia is like "funny. I don't recognize you". THIS TEA IS SCALDING.

• "There's more to Auvernal than Bradshaw's blustering", she says...after she's left a less-than-favourable impression two minutes into our conversation. Even Theresa Sutton from D&D Book 1 would do this better than you did, and there was literally no filter between her mouth and her brain.

• Isabella presents an over-the-top, flashy silver gown for the MC to wear, stating that wearing a dress from an Auvernese designer, in a modern Auvernese style, would signal to people the beginning of their "alliance" (jumping the gun there a bit, aren't you, Isabella?)

• Gaww at the LI reactions!

(Screenshots: Drake's from BizzysChoices' Youtube channel, Maxwell's from @ladatheimpaler, and Hana's from Abhirio's YouTube channel)

• Olivia's best moment in the chapter comes when she has to complete the saying "when all you have is a hammer" ("smite them with the hammer!" Olivia offers enthusiastically). They're talking about Bradshaw, who Isabella's telling us would rather strong-arm people into doing his bidding. Babe you're not exactly very different in that respect 🙄

• Isabella lays two major tests to us - one is to have us give her military troops (who greet the guests with a parade) an impromptu rousing speech, and the second is to withstand the punishing heat of the famed Auvernese Hot Stones massage treatment. Of course, she hides her plans behind her "all shared between friends!" demeanor.

• What Olivia does throughout is draw upon her knowledge of warrior mentality, to explain what Isabella has in store for you. This meeting isn't just a message sent to the MC to remind her who she is dealing with - it's a way for Isabella to gauge whether the MC really will count as an ally in terms that they are familiar with. Remember - Auvernal who is perhaps in not as great a financial state as they lead us to believe - perhaps needs Cordonia more than Cordonia needs them - so in their eyes the alliance is falling through anyway, but Isabella is also going to figure out who she is dealing with.

Which is why Olivia - who lives and thrives in a similar type of community - is able to capture the pulse of what Isabella is doing to them.

(First four screenshots are from a playthrough where I chose Olivia's diamond option, and second from a playthrough where I didn't)

Hana's own mentality differs to a large extent from this. She is competitive, she has the ability to put up a good fight and defeat an opponent (esp one who underestimates her)...but her larger attitude doesn't exactly favour war. In a lot of ways both she and Liam operate on similar mindsets - yes war is necessary, yes when the situation calls for it we can put up a good fight...but at the end of the day both of their belief systems lie in a King Fabian outlook of "safety is important but a society thrives when there is space for art and culture to thrive".

In some of Olivia and Hana's exchanges you can see that Hana is the more artistic and whimsical of the two - which is why her ace move at the end involves both introducing Isabella into an aspect of their own culture, and on wine, which Hana is more than fairly familiar with. Her interests lie elsewhere and so she may not be able to get into their heads and suss out their motives as well as Olivia can, but I'm pretty sure if she's researched so much that she knows about their Hot Stone spa treatment, she would have at least a more generalized knowledge of this than the screenshots suggest.

• We're now at a plaza where Isabella has arranged for the Auvernese military troops to do a parade for the Cordonian guests. It's both a way of convincing the MC to pick them, and it's a veiled threat if she doesn't.

• My failplay of the speech brought up this gem:

Poor Hana, having to cheer for us even when we fail. She's the real MVP!

• So basically getting the speech right is simple, whatever is rabble-rousing and reminds the troops that the Cordonians also admire strength and valour and bravery, works for them. If you fail in this task, then Isabella takes over and rouses the troops on her own before dismissing them.

• Isabella FINALLY admitting that Hana's a skilled diplomat and does amazing research. LMAO bitch she even knows what your favourite fucking vintage is and all you know about her is her failed engagement? Admit it Izzy, you're a failure.

• The next is the traditional Auvernese Hot Stone spa treatment, which Hana tells us is tied to the geography of this country. There is a fair bit of natural volcanic activity in Auvernal itself (no wonder they're a people that operate in metaphors of heat and fire!) and the hot stones used in this therapeutic massage treatment come out from that. (they're most likely referring to basalt stones, which are used in hot stone therapy in a lot of different cultures. And it's true, the heat and the medicinal nature of heated basalt stones are supposed to relax muscles, help with pain management, stimulate the circulatory system, among other things. In Ayurveda, the treatment is called Shila Abhyanga and is done with circular stones of different sizes).

• There is nothing therapeutic about this trip, though, sadly. Very often this kind of treatment is used at particular spots on the body (most of the time I've seen these stones placed along the length of the back). It's not "grab someone's forearm and burn it with a stone". Isabella's attempt is clearly to expose us to pain and see how much of it we can take.

• Some of the MC's "stronger" responses are 🔥 🔥 🔥 lol, like "I've read Twitter takes hotter than this".

•

The MC and Olivia has come far enough in their relationship - either as friends or as people who grudgingly respect each other - that Olivia will stand up for her even when she shows weakness.

• Interestingly, if you do succeed in this "test", the narrative describes Isabella's face as lighting up with a "small smile...and she eyes you as if seeing you in a new light" (the fail option shows her looking smug). Which...given her behaviour in the wine scene, I think requires closer inspection!

• One of my favourite lines this chapter is when Olivia tells Isabella that she can endure hotter stones but chooses not to, because "Lythikos warriors prefer ice in their veins". I can of like the juxtaposition of geographies used in their language - Auvernal seems to have volcanic activity, so heat features more in their language, Lythikos is situated close to the Alps, so snow, ice and winter are their signs of endurance. Basically both communities operate based on the logic that endurance to pain is what heightens your strength. "If you can breathe you can stand, if you can stand you can fight".

• Hana struggles with the hot stones, in a scene that reminds me of Book 1 where she struggled with her first bite of a Cordonian apple. Hana tends to be quite open when she has a strong reaction to something, and is often not able to hide it even if she wants to. Which honestly I find quite refreshing about her.

• Isabella in a fail play can be a real asshole, making snide remarks and then flipping the blame onto the people who react to what she says. When she insults Hana and the MC reacts, she doesn't bother to admit she is wrong - instead flips the blame on them so that it seems more like they're the sensitive ones. If you don't succeed in the hot stones test, and Hana and Olivia respond to her jabs, she tells them "there's no need to get defensive. It's all in good humour, of course", and makes them seem like the thin-skinned ones. Honestly it's that part of her attitude that is a problem, rather than the actual snide remarks. That she will create a negative situation then act like you were the cause.

• Now apparently it's time for petit fours (and I'm a little sore they only describe the vanilla buttercream coz I would have totally loved to see descriptions of those Auvernese sweets in detail!) and casual chatting. Olivia cautions us to figure out what the catch is, and Isabella is mildly impressed by the MC's directness, but she tells us about her intentions (to make the alliance official - including the parts where our child must be promised to one of their twins) either way.

• Isabella eventually softens as the conversations go ahead, confiding in the group that before the twins were born, conceiving was difficult for her. The MC has the opportunity to share a secret of her own (either homesickness, or feeling pressured into becoming a parent, or tiring of the politics and the pretence). Hana - married or otherwise - isn't allowed to say much here, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

• Olivia distracts Isabella at some point with barbed compliments post this confession session, allowing Hana and the MC to plan their next move. Most of this day has gone into Isabella testing us, seeing if we measure up, her games. Hana now gives us an opportunity to turn the tables on her.

• This is where Hana has a clear advantage. Just as warrior communities, battle strategy and defence is Olivia's forte - culture, cuisine and the arts are clearly Hana's. She knows about the Hot Stones on a cultural and geographic level even though the mentality escapes her, she has even read up on Isabella's preference for wine and has observed her closely enough to understand Isabella's competitiveness, and suggest a tactic that could help us gain an edge over her.

• The scene begins with Hana charming Isabella into showing them her wine cellar and suggesting a drinking game. In a callback to the Madeleine drinking game scene in Book 3, Hana mentions Cordonia's Most (which was what they played with Madeleine), but zeroes in on "Two Truths and a Lie instead". Here is what you see from each of the women:

MC:

Two Truths -

Being in love with Liam even when he was engaged to Madeleine/Coming to Cordonia for Liam then falling for her LI.

Second truth is dialogue dependent (never regretted coming to Cordonia/fended off her kidnappers with her own hands/impressed by Isabella (no)

Lie -

Never been blackmailed. Isabella however believes this one is true and loses.

Olivia:

Two truths -

Greatest fear is failure to be perfect

Counted every exit before entering the cellar

Wanted to kill the MC when they first met (Isabella assumed this to be a lie)

Lie -

Came to Auvernal unarmed because she trusts Isabella (she clearly didn't do her research with Olivia either).

Hana:

Two truths -

Greatest fear is failure to be perfect (Isabella assumes this to be the lie).

Always envied the MC

Lie -

Dyed her hair pink as a teen.

Isabella has two rounds of this. This is what the first round is like:

Two truths 1.0 -

Never wanted children

Married Bradshaw for money

Lie 1.0 -

Dismissed a servant for over-steeping her tea (what did you do then, kill him? 😱)

Two Truths and a Lie 2.0

Now, we don't know for sure which one is the lie, since that game is never completed (I suspect it's the one about being born into the royal family?) but we do know now that Bradshaw never actually has seen or done combat firsthand, even though he can strategize and order troops and he's won several medals for "combat". This is the state secret that the scene promises, which will give us an advantage in the future chapters.

• Thoughts I had while reading this scene:

- The one from the MC about fighting her kidnappers is very much a callback to TCaTF. A major development for Kenna's character in Book 1 is to prove she is different from her ancestors - that she will fight alongside her people, not make them fight for her. The turning point of her story in Book 1 is when she tells Gabriel - her guard and guardian - that that instead of depending on him, she will fight the leader of the mercenaries herself.

- Also, LMAO @ Isabella believing our guards defeated Anton for us. Izzy my courtiers and I literally used scissors and shoes and clipboards to defeat assassins in a boutique. Mara and Bastien could never.

- As I mentioned before, the drinking game tradition is a callback to Madeleine's scene. But with less of forcing Hana to butter up to the woman who abused her for our convenience, and more space for her to actually talk.

- I'm going to take notes of those exits, thanks Olivia.

- There is a whole bunch you learn about Isabella here and there are hints that she feels stifled in this environment. Her first choices for the game revolve around truths about her married life: the fact that it was a political alliance and that she never actually wanted children (which adds another layer to the pain she speaks about when speaking of the struggle she had to conceive, because then it comes from a place of immense pressure and probably means that she felt extremely isolated and alone at the time). When Hana talks about how conflicted she is, it's Isabella who offers her ways to release that fury and energy (screaming, breaking glasses). Interestingly, she speaks of these things as what she does when she "feels the walls closing in".

- One thing to notice as well, is Isabella's reaction after she has realized she's spilled out the truth about Bradshaw's military merits. She shrewedly notes what our intentions must have been, and calls us out on them, but there is little to no anger involved in the moment. She only notes that "Cordonia gets more and more interesting", and while the game does not continue, Isabella does seem eerily calm in the aftermath. I don't have any concrete ideas yet what it must all mean, but there are a few ways it could go. She could either be pushing back in her own way against Bradshaw and the Auvernese royalty, or have another card up her sleeve that she knows we don't have a clue about yet.

- Hana gets to elaborate on her 'truths and lies' if the MC asks: she speaks about her envy for the MC emerging from the fact that the MC is confident, bold and questions her self-worth a lot less than Hana has learned to. The other two are tied to the aftermath of the controlling parenting she has grown up with. With the pink hair option, she speaks of her parents as if they are still there, still can control her choices, as if she cannot remove herself from the fear that she will disappoint them even if they are physically away from her.

Hana: Are you kidding? My parents will kill me!

MC: I think you're a little beyond their reach by now.

There's a lot said there in so little.

My favourite, though, is the one on 'perfection'.

-

I love the idea of perfection as being something to be frustrated by rather than something to aspire to. Hana speaks of this striving for perfection starting out as something she did to 'earn' Lorelai's love, and how that became something she kept doing over and over until it became her default - leading to the point where she can no longer be imperfect even though she has the opportunity and the support system (even if it's really not that great of a support system). And with a lot of kids who survive that kind of controlling, emotionally abusive parenting - that's normal. I guess I could simply sum it up as: You can take Hana out of Lorelai's home, but it won't be that easy to take Lorelai out of Hana.

I'll come back to this later, because there's some things I'd love to expand on with regards to this.

- Which Olivia opening up is promised if she is around, she doesn't really do that. Most of the stuff she says in this scene is pretty much standard for what she's shown so far. But I'm alright with that, because let's be honest the times when Hana is given even a scrap of space over Olivia, are rare. The writers will be only too happy to give her other opportunities.

- At the end of the scene, you get to address what Hana said earlier, while you are cleaning up the cellar. You either tell her you'd love to see an imperfect Hana (which is the lighter option, where they think of crazy things she can mess up, like burning toast, putting cutlery in reverse order, or playing every note on the piano wrong. Silly stuff. I know it's meant to be a joke...and maybe that's the root to why she doesn't get to actually be imperfect and affected and stuff. Because even in a scene about imperfections, it still feels like the writers won't take her actual conflicts and issues very seriously, and will not leave her the space to actually be a mess about things that would weigh down anyone).

The second option is more serious, and I really like it. The MC speaks about finding it harder to forgive Lorelai for everything Hana has gone through. Hana is still uncomfortable with the idea of resenting her mother, even though she's at the stage where she knows how wrong Lorelai is. She reasons it by speaking about how everything good came from Lorelai the same way everything bad came from the same mother. I'll be getting back to this bit soon as well.

- There is a tiny romantic scene following this if you're married to Hana, mostly kissing.

• Now that our work in Auvernal is over, it's time to get back to the ranch. BECAUSE MAXWELL BEAUMONT IS STRESS-DANCING AND THAT IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN.

(Screenshots: Drake's from BizzysChoices YouTube channel, Maxwell's from @itsbrindleybinch and Hana's from Abhirio YouTube channel)

- Alright so in Liam and Drake's playthroughs they talk to the MC directly. Maxwell's too, and he is panicking and speaking in capslock. In Hana's, Maxwell is still the one the MC is talking to, since he is the one in charge of this one thing.

- I love how Drake thinks Maxwell "stress dancing" means things must be better now but Liam knows it's a bad sign ���

- BBBB. Maxwell could've just simplified things for himself and called it B-Quadrupled or B^4 or something. Be like Karan Johar, who saw three Ks and one G in his film title (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham)...and said "yeah. Let's call this K3G".

• So now I'm guessing the aim for the next chapter is to keep it a secret until the time Bertrand is expected to be at his party. Or something. Idk.

• We're going...from deep conversations and political maneuverings...to this. Okay. Okay 😐

• General Thoughts:

- Okay...so the thing Hana says about perfection and wanting to please her mother. Phew. That dialogue hit me. Pretty hard.

(Please don't take anything I say right here as hard scientific fact, I am merely saying this as a client to a therapist who learned something from her, and am applying something I've learned into this sequence solely because it speaks to me on a personal level)

I've been going to a new therapist this year. A very accomplished hypnotherapist, fantastic in her field. We've been doing a mixture of talk therapy and hypnotherapy because I have a LOT of issues and they're all tangled together and it's all a big mess at this point.

One of the things we talked about was how centered my entire concept of "worth" was around smartness. Intelligence. Intelligence the way my parents perceived it, the way I saw it in school. At some point I said something...something related to smartness and worth and how you couldn't be anything if you weren't smart idk...and she stopped. Stopped and said, "that sounds like a parent tape" (wish I remembered what my exact words were).

Now, this conversation happened around a month ago, and I'm no professional in this field, so I'm paraphrasing what she explained, but she did talk about how some things get embedded in your subconscious as "tapes" or "files", and how at some points they become essential beliefs. It could be a simple moment that was nonetheless important to the child, that crystallized into a life truth for them, even into adulthood. And that would go for things that you picked up or learned from your parents as well. Learned behaviours and mindsets...that you grow up to believe as fact - and to remove yourself from them would be to remove yourself from everything you have ever believed to be true. It would be a destruction of a belief system, and building yourself back from out of that rubble would be scary.

- I wound up seeing Hana's inability to turn off "Perfect Hana" through that lens. I feel like she grew up with that "parent tape": I must be perfect to be considered worthy. I must be perfect to be loved. The only way I can gain my mother's love is by being her perfect daughter. And part of why she can't switch it off is because it became an entire belief system, the foundation on which her parents build this personality she has. If that is destroyed, the Parent Tape must be saying, then what will be left of her?

- This may explain why she continues to explain, justify, make excuses for Lorelai. Lorelai is a HUGE part of her life. Was a HUGE influence on who she was and what she became. Even when she is going in a direction completely opposite to what Lorelai initially intended, Hana does it by overcompensating, by stressing over whether she is being controlling merely for planning the perfect wedding, by worrying about what kind of parent she will be to her own child. While she acknowledges freely that her mother was wrong and pushes back when she is able to, she is not really at the stage where she can fully accept the sheer levels of damage Lorelai (and by enabling and encouraging this type of parenting, Xinghai) has wrecked on her self.

- In a lot of ways, Hana is still that child. The one who craved her mother's love. The one who grew up constantly questioning her own worth. And learning to validate that child and give her a peaceful ending is going to be a long, arduous, painful process.

- You can bet I have been thinking about this more than Hana's own writers have. By now I just know it.

- There was a part of me that CHEERED when I saw the MC (finally!) stand up for Hana. There's a part of me that...honestly...just shrugged and said "too little too late".

- I'm tired at this point. Really, really sick and tired of how people in the books are allowed to underestimate Hana and talk shit about her, and how little space the narrative gives to letting her either push back against that, or to allowing us to stand up for her. This chapter is one of the rare times that happened without the focus being on how wonderful the MC is. And I mean very rare.

- Married to Hana or not, the MC is the woman who let Madeleine get away with her bullying. Who didn't bother to look out for Hana, and continuously used her. Who didn't bother to find out how Hana was in NY after Hana had fought with her own father and left his house for her. Who (optionally) allowed Olivia to get away with talking shit about her, and who didn't ask Hana if she was comfortable before including her in a conversation with her bully. Who (optionally) can cry about not getting pregnant soon enough (today of course, that role was filled up by Isabella)

- Also isn't it ironic how Isabella, the same woman who speaks about not being perfect and allowing yourself the space to let out your emotions...is the same woman who chooses to talk ONLY about Hana's failures? Who sounds A LOT like Hana's own mother? So while those words about imperfection are true, the person speaking them is a truckload of trash.

- When it comes to a foreigner insulting Hana, then somehow it becomes magically appropriate for the MC and Olivia to pretend to be offended. But at home? In their own court? Hana rarely gets that kind of support. And she rarely gets the chance to push back either. An Olivia can call her a failure and claim "Hana hasn't so much as touched the ladder while I'm at the very top", and all Hana is allowed to do is glower in fury and then it's conveniently forgotten. By the MC.

Like sure it's nice that the MC gets to treat Hana with respect this time around, and pay her some attention. But where was this protectiveness when Hana needed it the most?

I'd have liked a moment like this earlier, or if the narrative actually was fair in terms of their treatment of Hana. But her issues, her feelings, her pain, has always been on the backseat. I'm not going to be grateful for scraps like these.

- That's the other thing. This chapter...feels a little last-minute. Not only is the gown in this chapter a very, very recent one (an anon pointed out it was added only a week or two ago), the chapter itself is all over the place. Isabella claims to want to show the group that there is more to Auvernal than Bradshaw's blustering...but in essence what she's showing us is pretty much the same thing. She is still issuing us veiled threats, and strong-arming us into becoming allies. Her tactics are still scare tactics and they are not as subtle as she or the writers believe they are.

- Even in this chapter where another person is allowed to feel pain over her years of not conceiving, Hana is hardly given space. Think about that for a second.

To me...if this chapter was a recent addition - that means the only chapter where Hana actually gets a tiny amount of space to herself...is a last minute choice. And that's not a good thing. In fact it reminds me of Book 2, where Hana was given an AWFUL scene in Chapter 8 (the fashion show scene, which focused more on Penelope than on Hana) and no appearances in the chapter after, and then given two good scenes (patisserie scene and library scene). Those two good scenes...came before they virtually ignored Hana and her background to focus on literally anyone else (after which Hana was not even seen in NY). Just because Hana gets a decent scene (a scene that isn't even hers, actually, a lot of it is about Isabella) once in 9 (NINE) chapters, doesn't mean that she's going to get good development from now on. For all you know this could be a carrot conveniently dangled to keep people satisfied for another 5-6 chapters of the same ol' focus on the male LIs instead.

- Wonder what Olivia is upto and what Liam might know.

- Also wonder why we didn't get a lot of info on Eleanor in her own home.

- Also for a country that is the maternal home of Cordonia's king, there's precious little shown about their interactions with him. In fact there's very little space Liam gets to actually operate as a King - either in this series or the previous one.

- This week, I will not be doing my usual QT for Book 1. There's an essay I've been itching to do, about Kiara and Penelope, and I'm going to devote my weekend to diving into that! Would anyone like to be tagged??

- Anyway! Until the next chapter, guys.

[jlf23tumble]

Four Hangout: Recap

Oh, man, I know I “owe” this one, so I’m doing it, but I hate it for about 15 different reasons, 14 of those being Ben Winston, which means I’m gonna keep this fairly short. The Four Hangout (lmao, I will never stop laughing at the attempts to team up with Google’s shitty tech) predates my entry into this fandom, so I’m not as on top of every little thing that happened around it (and my god, there were some doozies). I’ve found other posts that do a better job of transcribing some key moments), but I’m sure lots of others are out there, and as ever, I recommend taking 35 minutes to stare at this work of art for yourself.

Whenever I’ve seen gifs from this, the read is that at least two people are coming off a coke bender as we all focus on Ben’s rather ham-fisted attempt to get Louis to admit that he hates people thinking he’s gay. But in rewatching it in full now and knowing more about the context around it, the true vibe is exhaustion mixed with some very real anger/mulishness aimed at management in general and Ben in particular. Because the point of the Four Hangout isn’t to promote Four, the album, but to exonerate the D’s management team, blow smoke up Ben’s ass, and “clear the air” about whatever rumors have been going around that the D’s team doesn’t like, all posed as questions theoretically from the fans, yet weirdly management focused.

I’ve found lots of good blog posts that summarize these 35 or so minutes, but here’s an executive summary of my comments coupled with others I’ve found:

Ben Winston is an insufferable dick

The D is so fucking TIRED at this point, everyone’s low energy, but Louis’s voice is the softest, raspiest, most enchanting thing

They regularly creep on social media and are up on pretty much everything fandom related

There are no rumors they need to dismiss except that they’re currently alive, go on, ask them twice!

Liam is great at delivering the corporate spiel

Harry really did get them sneezes out

The Louis/Ben feud is one thing; the Harry/Ben feud is a whole other

Louis reads fanfic (and has some faves!)

Narry are ride or die WMYB, except for when Harry needs to have a go at Ben

Zayn has somehow made himself look even more godlike

Louis has super cute socks

With that in mind, let’s jump into some key moments, but I’m paraphrasing a lot because it’s so hard to hear over all the cross-talk, asides, and inside jokes. More under the cut!

Shout out to Louis's collarbones and quiff combo...his voice is about to give out, but he’s so OPEN and present for this total shitshow, even when he defiantly refuses to take the path he’s being guided down. Also, please @ god let me play some poker while we enjoy a bacon butty over brunch, his face as Niall introduces Ben as a “very, very good friend of ours” (me as both Ziam and Harry):

One of the most subversive things this band does is effusive praise when they’re pissed off, and never is it clearer than here, when Niall gushes on about all the wonderful work Ben has done for them, and the other boys pick up on it and start whistling and clapping (Louis: “My hero”; Harry: “LOOK AT THOSE TEETH!”) until Ben gets extremely uncomfortable.

We’re off to a good start, with Ben being sure to preface that all of these questions are from the fans, and then Harry asking Ben if he’s wearing makeup (Ben, mildly affronted, “No, I’m not wearing any makeup, but you guys do, you wear a lot of makeup, don't you, Harry” [Harry: “Tons”; Ben: “Well, you need to”]).

The first question is about the difference between this album and their first one, and it’s such a stupid, easy question that I want to answer it for Niall because I can do it in my sleep. Ben then asks Louis if he likes visiting the X Factor, if it reminds him of the old days (you know, four years ago), and AGAIN, this is a dumb-ass question, and Louis’s a pro, so what do you think he’s gonna say? (Of course he likes visiting, it’s lovely to go down and relive it). Is Harry nervous about playing there again tonight? Nope, it’s fun!! He can enjoy it this time around! Simon Cowell doesn’t give him ANY anxiety!!

The next question is about the simplicity of the old days, and my god, does my heart break for Liam saying that they had to work really hard back then, so it’s nice that four years later, they get a few more vacation days. Louis agrees, adding that the first American promo trip was a grind where they did 10 things a day (multiple interviews, signings, radio appearances, rehearsals, and shows)

Ben asks if they ever go back and watch clips of themselves from their early days (this genuinely does seem like a fan ask), and wouldn’t you know, Niall was just chillin’ out last week, rewatching all the video diaries again. Louis admits that his red trousers and braces were loud, but they worked for the time, “Or do you disagree, Ben?” (Ben: “No, I loved it.” Louis: “Thank you.”) And I wish I could travel back in time both so I could kill Hitler AND witness Ben showing up somewhere in a pair of Toms, only to be faced by Louis Tomlinson telling him that he wore that style two years ago, and he wouldn’t anymore, which Ben says cut him down to size (I highly doubt that, but I would have love to see it).

All of this fashion talk is side-winding into a question about who tells them what to wear and whether they have control over their image now. They all note that they wouldn’t have dared to push back in year one, presumably because “experts” were telling them what to do, plus it was all free (which makes all the dragging on their old looks extra fun to watch). Then Ben asks whether they make their own decisions now, and Liam says yeah as Louis smirks, lmaooooo, which morphs into, well, we have much more input than we used to have. I’m here for Harry giving a slow, long-winded answer as a construction project starts up somewhere in the studio, and Louis yells, “Keep it down” into his mic.

Ben, I mean, the fans want to know what piece of advice they’d give the fetus versions of themselves, if they could go back in time, and Louis advises his younger self to have a second glance in the mirror and see if he’s really sure about that particular outfit. (Ben: “Is that…really?” Louis: “No, Ben, I’m just trying to make a joke.”). Liam would fight the haircuts, and Harry would burn the supras (I’m assuming; Louis: “They were outrageous”). Zayn would tell his younger self to have a bit more fun, to try and take it all in and enjoy it more. :(

“The fans” are curious about the negative side of social media, how the D just exploded on YouTube and Twitter after X Factor, and does it ever go too far? Liam channels my inbox and says that people forget there’s a person on the other side of an anon message, that these guys see all the things that are said about them, and they’re self-conscious with cameras and comments, but it’s okay, they put up with it. Louis’s addicted to Twitter, and says that there are negative people there, but you’ll find negative people on every social media platform and in real life, too, it is what it is.

Of course, “the fans” are curious about how all this social media shit affects their girlfriends, and I would kill to hear more about what Narry, the two singles on this couch, keep giggling about in this ridick convo that I’m not even gonna bother to sum up.

Ben’s curious how the fans always manage to leak everything the band does, and yes, Louis, tell us more! How does it make you feel? Liam thinks it’s anticlimactic, Niall’s only beef is when something is leaked a week before it’s out, and everyone else just gets annoyed if it breaks the structure of a rollout, but nobody talks about songs that are leaked that were never meant for official release (cough cough, "Home”), and Harry’s just happy people get a sneak peek and then still buy the album, so all is good. Me as this exchange: Ben, incredulously, “It’s amazing they’re able to constantly do it”; Liam: “Lots of high-tech people out there.”

Probably my favorite part of this is the fanfic discussion, which kicks off with Ben’s “I've noticed, not that I’ve read it, but there's been a lot of fanfiction published about you boys, books published, have you any read it?”

Zayn avoids it at all costs, but Louis’s aware of a fic writer’s book deal (who????) and says that he’s come across some of it on twitter (!!!). He finds some of it utterly bizarre (looking at you, self-inserts), but he’s read some nice little stories, and he’s seen some that go very deep and very, very weird. Liam acknowledges that it’s a whole different world, that he gets the idea of it, of fans putting themselves in situations with them (and Jesus Christ, it kills me that they’ve had to read self-insert wattpad fics), but some of it blows his mind. Niall doesn’t know where to go looking for it, but don’t worry friend, Ben’s gonna hook you up with his favorites! Harry is noticeably quiet during ALL of this.

With a horrible segue, Ben says, “Speaking of things that are made up, what’s the biggest rumor you’ve heard about yourself, this is a question lots of fans are asking” (SURE THING), and Harry never gets enough credit for his dry delivery, such as the way he says, “We’ve all been dead a couple of times.” But Ben can’t let it go, and that’s when Louis does his whole, “No”….dramatic pause (he might be saying “Go,” but the point is, he lets this bit drop where it lands). Zayn jumps in with the rumor that Niall used to be a jockey, and god bless him, honestly.

Ben realizes he’s not getting anywhere with this, so it’s time to move on to the actual album, why is it called Four, etc. It’s not really all that interesting, tbh, nor is the name they didn’t go with as a band (Liam’s dad’s suggestion, which was USP, if you’re curious). Liam figures USP will flourish one day, and this whole section proves how funny Liam actually is. I’m curious about all the One Direction tribute bands they’re mentioning, and I’m totally down to check one out if they’re ever in my area, just fwiw.

Anyway, moving on! What song are they most proud of? Zayn loves “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” and Louis is WAY into “Fireproof,” which Liam’s down with, too. The part that’s interesting gets glossed over because Ben’s an idiot, but they talk about how many songs they’ve written that don’t make it to the album, like, Liam has a tattoo that says “somewhere is a place that nobody knows” from a song we’ll never hear called “Man on a Mission,” and how many others are stored in this vault (23 or 24 were in the final running for this album, where are they)? Harry suggests those songs will be on USP’s first album, and I will absolutely buy it. His story about the Norway bus trip makes me want to dig deep (he was on a party bus in Norway and heard one of their songs, sung by them, that had never been released anywhere, and he was the only one who knew it).

Zayn hints a bit at what happens (voting), and Liam hints at all the meetings, but I would love to know so much more about this process, especially since Niall says that lots of people are in these meetings, with lots of opinions (Simon, label, other managers).

Ben says that another recurring question is about what “Stockholm Syndrome” means, and I love the Alex Turner-esque dodge we get on Harry literally describing what Stockholm Syndrome means, without any real insight into what the song’s about. Still, I live in the awkward that happens right after this drops, with Ben still somehow trying to get them to admit they don’t feel trapped, lmao:

Ben asks about which songs are about specific people, and god, I don’t care because all of this section is lies. Then he tries to get them to talk about songs they don’t like, and they aren’t here for that, like, Liam will say he can’t casually listen to WMYB, but he loves performing it, and the best part of this is Harry saying he’ll crank that song and mouth along, pretending that he’s Niall.

For their favorite songs, Liam goes with “Fireproof,” Louis goes with “Midnight Memories,” Niall goes with “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” Zayn can’t pick one, and Harry says “Best Song Ever.” Ben likes “Through the Dark” because of course he does, and that’s when the needling from Harry starts about “Gotta Be You,” and I don’t understand, but I live for him on the attack, so geddit, son (also, Niall, with his “your boyfriend’s back, and you’re gonna be in trouble,” etc., YES).

Another question Ben kept getting from fans (got it!) is what would be the one thing they’d change in the past four years, and Louis starts with, “Why would you want to? It’s been great, there’s no point.” Liam agrees, and that’s that. Ben’s next question is what moment they’d relive in the past four years, and Niall says he was really nervous at MSG, although Zayn thinks it was a great gig BECAUSE they were nervous. Nothing’s really happening here, so Ben asks Harry what’s going on with his hair (I guess “the fans” want to know?), and Harry just says it tends to grow, that’s what hair does, and he’s letting it all hang out.

Another “fan” question that makes me laugh from Ben: “Who makes the decisions in One Direction? Is it always your call?” And they all say NO, but Liam jumps in with, “It’s totally us, people ask us now, ultimately we call the shots,” and there’s a LOT of back-chatter here, so draw what you see.

Ben tries to push how much they love the “Night Changes,” video, and AGAIN, Harry gets on his case about “Gotta Be You,” and someone else covers it better than I ever could, but this goading by Harry is wonderful. Ben’s creative process for video concepts is fascinating because he basically admits that it’s easy or it’s really hard (read: he steals it or just throws a shitty idea to a wall to see if it sticks).

Ben asks if they get nervous about people liking the album, and Louis says they care if critics like the album or not, but really, he’s out there on twitter searching different song titles to see the fan reaction. This is also when we learn they aren’t on ye olde social meeds that much anymore, but they all enjoy a good old-fashioned creep session (Zayn especially). Harry’s comment about feeling vulnerable when you release something you’ve been working on for a year feels especially poignant—he gets excited and nervous all at once—and I really don’t get this whole controlled leak promo thing they did for Four, but who am I to question Modest or Syco?? All I want to know is what Niall’s talking about on the side.

[thelowlysatsuma]

Ramble in whatever form you choose. I won’t be able to be active all the time so if you want to be able to do it whenever you want I’d say text posts but I’ll also try to occasionally ask you about them so there’s some variety

!!! okay! well i think i’ll choose a couple from the list that i haven’t made many posts about before (aka no ts or go) and ramble on here!

oof under the cut bc idk how long this will get

steven universe

oh hon don’t even get me STARTED on su like that shit? that shit is so good? okay first of all i love the cast so much? gosh they’re just all so sweet and cool and sometimes they collab w/ thomas sanders and i love rebecca sugar and im gonna cry they’re so sweet im so soft

okay SECONDLY the show itself oof

okay okay im just? god im so soft?? like the music is so good, i can (and do) watch it w/ my parents, GOD do i wanna cosplay pearl’s new outfit (and rainbow 2.0, if i can pull it off), im in love with the concept and all the fusions and the story and the worldbuilding and god, this made me realize my utter love and adoration of COLOURS like they’re so PRETTY im in LOVE oh my gOD and just

god it has such a good message and such a good plot and such good characters i wanna be steven’s friend i wanna be all of their friends oh man i just can’t wait until my baby cousins are old enough for me to show this to them because i’m going to enjoy that experience so much

ducktales

oh jfc where the fuck do i even start with ducktales okay david tennant as scrooge mcduck makes my fucking life literally he’sthe best goddamn charaacter in the show – well, best besides the triplets (my BOYS), webby (!!! my KID), f e n t o n (god i love that nerd), mark beaks (what an asshole), mrs beakley (i wanna be her when i grow up), launchpad (!!! he!!), and so many others??? this is like serious every character in the show erasure but hot damn duck tales says gay rights and it does so in style (oh yeah also i love lena della donald oh webby’s new friend whose name i forget uhhh herules oh the inventor guy fenton’s boss that dipshit love him uhhh gandra dee who’s voiced by jameela jamil if im not mistaken??????) and yeah it’s a hilarious show but it’s also just a really good one for me to watch whenever i start to like. feel empty inside?? but then like i’ll put on ducktales and i’ll feel better

gravity falls

this show. this show RUINED ME. i started watching it like four years late (aka last year lmao) but GOD, im so in love with it. def another one i wanna show my cousins.

like?? just??? the ciphers and mysteries appeal so much to me and my love of mystery and crime novels, the characters are all amazing, alex hirsch himself is just such a g?? and like. it’s so good. it hurts me so much but then it’s all okay in the end and it’s just. it’s so good.

yeah i sobbed my eyes out when i watched that series finale.

camp camp, which somehow i forgot on my other list

god, is this show hilarious. like, fuck is it funny. it’s so good. it’s so fucking good. i was a little shocked when i saw the first episode but i’m so into it now, and i’m so attatched to all the characters bc they’re just dumbasses trying their best (or worst, in a few cases) and i love them for it. that’s peak fool energy right there and it speaks to me

orphan black

okay okay okay veering now into a much darker type of television, orphan black is??? phenominal???

okay so my best friend @fuck-me-gently-with-a-slurpee got me into it when i was like 14 or 15 i think and i honestly cannot thank her enough because this show is incredible. the plot’s super engaging, i literally cannot say anything about it without giving away spoilers, and the main character has quite possibly the best actor i’ve ever seen playing her

like. you think thomas sanders is good? he ain’t got SHIT on tatianna maslany

mythbusters

you guys. you guys. mythbusters was my childhood. like seriously, i watched that show religiously.

it’s what first got me into science, and it’s what kept me interested in explosions. it’s light and funny and ridiculous and scientifically accurate in the dumbest ways possible. i swear to god the main cast nearly dies once an episode

these guys are my idols. like, i seriously cannot overstate how much i love the mythbusters. adam and jamie, tori, kari, and grant.

when i was a kid, i wanted to be a mythbuster when i grew up, and god damnit, i still do. they mean that much to me

bill nye

fun fact! i actually had no fuckin clue who bill nye was until seventh grade, when i had to watch an episode of his show for homework because i missed a day of class. it was the episode on static electricity, and i remember sitting at my dining room table in the dim winter afternoon light, squinting at my computer, and thinking “what the FUCK am i WATCHING?”

needless to say, i’ve seen more since then, but that initial what the fuckery is still present and i love it.

not only is bill nye the science guy a flippin fantstic show, but bill nye himself? the coolest guy alive. god, i love him. what a g.

various comedians including but not limited to john mulaney,john oliver, and hasan minhaj

okay, as a gay, i am legally required to love john mulaney, but seriously that guy is so. fuckin. funny that i can’t help myself. his timing is priceless, the way he moves onstage is hysterical, just. god i love his stuff.

literally his comedic timing and style is half the reason people find me funny. i just phrase my sentences the way he would because, you know, i’m good at stealing things, and people laugh, and i go “hey. that actually worked”. and then i keep doing it

next, john oliver. okay, so while i don’t watch his show religiously, i do watch it when my parents do every now and again, and fuck is his stuff funny. like. just. shit.

finally, hasan minhaj’s patriot act is just. one of my favourite current events comedy shows out there. it’s in a similar vein to john oliver’s stuff, just more international, and shit, is he good at what he does. i lvoe it.

hoodwinked the movie (i am dead serious)

okay, while i haven’t seen it in over four years, this is still my favourite movie of all time. it also has one of my favourite villain songs of all times, and some of the best character exchanges just. ever. especially with wolf and twitchy

...god, i love twitchy. also the goat. i’m probably gonna be the goat when i grow up, let’s be honest

one day at a time

i just.

there’s so much to say about odaat. like. it’s so funny. it makes me nearly cry every episode (and makes my mother actually cry every episode). the characters, god, the characters

like. alex is such a cute dumb kid (who’s smarter than he looks), penelope is so salty constantly and i love her but she’s genuinely so cool and such a good mom and i cry??? elena is so amazing like god she’s such a fuckin nerd but she’s also so salty (takes after her mom) and is literally the best????

and then there’s abuelita, whom i adore. like, god, rita moreno is SO cool and SUCH a great actress and has SUCH an amazing sense of comedic timing and GOD, i LOVE HER

can’t forget about syd and doc berkowitz, which like. okay first off the good doc. just. god i love the doc. he’s so sweet and such a genuinely good dude and he’s a bit of a coward at heart but that’s okay because he genuinely cares and does his best and god he’s just such an amazing character im !!!!! and then syd is such a dork and i love them and elena and god, it made me so happy to see not only an actual enby character on a big sitcom, but also just?? like??? it’s not forced but it’s still there??? like there’s one episode where one of the plots is just syd and elena trying to figure out what elena should call them, since neither of them are comfy using “girlfriend” for syd since they’re not a girl, and they finally agree on “significant other” and schneider imMEDIATELY says “dont you mean, SYDnificant other?” and then they use that for the REST OF THE SHOW IT”S SO CUTE OKAY

and finally, schneider. he might be my favourite character in the entire show (which is a damn hard list to pick from!!!), but he’s just. he’s so sweet, he and penelope have one of the absolute best male/female friendships i’ve ever seen (which! never! turns! romantic! ever!!!), he’s actually got surprising depths but he’s also like such a nice goofball that when they get revealed, it hurts, and he’s just this canadian dumbass (heyyyyy repreSENT) with the worst goddamn canadian accent sometimes and he’s a hipster and The Dumb Friend and the weird uncle all rolled into one and GOD, i love him so much

the good place and brooklyn 99

okay, i love these two both so, so much, but i’m lumping them together because a) they’re both mike schur shows with a similar sense of humour, that say gay rights, and with characters who’d definitely love each other if they met and b) my hand is getting tired from all this typing but i still have so much  love to go around!!!!

okay so so SO! they’re both so good. they’re so fucking funny and amazing and i was immediately hooked on both of their pilots. their characters are all so genuine and flawed and fucking hysterical to watch, and the ships and friendships are all so amazing and pure and good and soft and they have their problems and they WORK THEM OUT HEALTHILY AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY OKAY!!!

god, i literally cannot overstate how much i adore these two shows. mike schur, you’re a wonderful, wonderful dude. thank you so much

many musicals (top faves include BOM, hamilton, legally blonde, chicago, matilda, and more!)

i’m putting the musicals together because while i do adore each and every one of them individually, i also just have great big deep-seated love of the art of musical theatre itself in general, ya feel?

like, as someone who’s been both performing and viewing them from a very young age, the sheer sense of utter joy they bring is almost unparalleled

not to be That Bitch who quotes musicals, but “and that hop in our hearts as the overture starts lets us know how lucky we are” might be the closest i’ve ever gotten to finding words to fit the feeling when the lights go down and the show begins. it’s simply phenomenal

the others series by anne bishop

okay, OKAY, if you haven’t read this series (first book called written in red – they have terrible titles but god, they’re worth it), then what are you doing with your life? like, not only is there the perfect logicality au to them (just sayin’), but god, it’s such an incredible series

the worldbbuilding is so cool and the characters are all great and god the ships are the damn hill i die on it’s got literally such a good “sort of enemies mostly just dislike each other to reluctant acquaintances to friends to lovers” ship and it deals with some serious issues rlly well and it’s got baby puppies!!!

like, they’re wolf puppies, but still, they are b a b e y

and finally (for now, at least), the mysterious benedict society, by trenton lee stewart

this book series was my childhood. i mean, there are so many other books i could be talking about right now that i utterly adore (the artemis fowl series springs to mind), but gosh, MBS just brings me such absolute joy to read that i just had to have it on here.

i’m not thinking straight at this point in the evening, but i just wanna say that i will never, not ever forget about reynie. about kate. about sticky. about constance. about rhonda and number two and milligan and miss perumal and my absolute son sq pedalian and, of course, i will never, never forget about mr benedict

it’s bright, and it’s bittersweet, and it’s beautiful.

and it’s good. simply, utterly, wonderfully good.

thank you for the ask, anon.

thank you.

[sawamura-daichis-thighs]

get to know the author

I was tagged by @yaoyoroses :D thank you En!

Tag | @l1nkp1t​, @astersandstuffs​, @eccentrick-stardust​, @amajikies​, & @hajiiwa​ (if any of you would like to!)

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? i wanted a Haikyuu!! themed username since i fell deep so here we are :3 in terms of my ao3 username, Miah_Kat, it’s a mashup of my nickname & a name for an old OC; i use some variation of it as a default whenever i make a new account somewhere bc i’m bad at thinking up usernames on the spot. ^^”

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos). what if i told you...? is at the top with 734 hits & 133 kudos (!!!!! holy crow) on tumblr, Cafuné is the most popular with 46 notes :”D

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it? it’s of megane Oikawa! ^^ i chose it because he’s one of my favorite characters & he looks damn good in glasses

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? @l1nkp1t, @wallynorthbynorthwest, @ninja-spacenerd, & @littleop always leave me wonderful comments/tags that never fail to brighten my day!! ❤❤❤❤

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again? hmmm i can’t think of one off the top of my head but y’all should def check out my bookmarks & fic rec tag for some awesome works!!

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? i’m subscribed to 46 users, 20 series, & 127 works. I’ve bookmarked 257.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? i don’t stray far from canon-compliant stuff but i find myself writing a lot of getting together, first kisses, or domestic fluff kind of stuff. If I’m going to go full-AU though I lean towards fantasy.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page) i have 8 user subscribers, 17 unspecified subscriptions, & 111 bookmarks total ^^

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) mmm well i think every writer has some general fears of being judged, regardless of what’s written. for me, maybe smut since i just don’t write it often (& i’ve only ever posted one fic that has it)

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. writing in general?? lol idk i’d like to be more...dedicated, i guess? i can’t seem to finish anything without it taking months. i also have a hard time with details, so i’d like to find a good middle-ground with that. oh, and world-building when writing fantasy (it’s just so much work aslkdjfk)

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? i write popular ships more often but i’m absolutely open to writing rarepairs! i know it can be disheartening to really love a ship but not be able to find much content for it, so i don’t mind getting rarepair requests. i like making people happy if i can :)

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)? 33 on ao3

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program? 18 WIPs in Google Docs & probably...10+ in my laptop files?

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head? oh, definitely write them down! i can keep them in my head for a little while but there’s a 95% chance of not remembering them after something distracts me lol

15. Have you ever co-authored a story? kind of? back in high-school my best friend & i used to write stories together. it was all for fun though, nothing that ever made it to a site. i think it would be fun to do a collab with someone though! :D

16. How did you discover AO3? i think a post from tumblr linked me to it & i’d seen a lot of people talking about it, so i gave it a shot.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? HAH no way lmao  😂😂😂

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? not really. i just think everyone who reads my stuff are wonderful, lovely people ^^

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? i’ve read basically my whole life and fanfiction led me to writing. there wasn’t a specific story or author though; just the realization that i could also put my own twist on characters/fandoms i enjoyed. i also have an amazing best friend who supported my passion when it first began, so she’s definitely a huge part of why i continued to write.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? read. a lot. write, even when you don’t want to or think it sucks. as with any kind of art, experience and practice is the only way you’ll get better. be open to constructive-criticism but don’t let the “rules” overwhelm or suffocate your passion. most importantly: write what you like! what you want to read! have fun with it!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go? oh jeez, it’s a mixture of both? i usually start with a scene in my head that makes me go “i wanna write that” but then i have to find a way to get to the scene? so i either wing it, if the idea was clear enough, or i scribble down an outline to get my base ideas down but leave wiggle room for inspiration during the writing process.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? i’m sure i have, back when i first started; i likely commented back that if it wasn’t their preference, there was no need to read the fic or leave a rude comment behind.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)  a c t i o n, definitely. i also get kind of stuck on kisses? idk how much detail to put into them lol

24. What story(s) are you working on now? even tho i’m slow af about it i’m currently working on 2 actively:

a makoharu gift exchange fic!

a klance fic with which i’m taking my first steps into writing for VLD (i’m jumping on the bandwagon where they’re somehow physically stuck together (via alien handcuffs in mine) for a time & grow closer as a result)

i’m always sorta-kinda working on my various iwaoi fics; the nipple-piercing fic is near completion & i’ve recently remembered my single dads au that i hope to work more on soon ^^

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? pffftt all the time. the ideas are definitely more forthcoming than the Muse & motivation like to be.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? nope. i tried that for a while but it didn’t stick.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? absolutely! although i sometimes have mixed feelings about it, concentrating in creative writing definitely helped me improve in many ways.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written? i don’t...really...have one? ^^” i guess i am particularly fond of with a hoarse voice, under the blankets just because i feel i managed to get the atmosphere & imagery i wanted

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written? anything from when i first began lol

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? hopefully still improving & enjoying what i write (as well as finishing what i start aslkdjfk). i’m not aiming for publication or anything; i just want to write for fun.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing? getting the ideas!

32. What is the hardest thing about writing? to quote En: “e v e r y t h i n g”

33. Why do you write? it’s fun! i enjoy making the ideas i have in my head come to fruition on paper. i like experimenting with styles and imagery & characters. i enjoy the happy dance my heart does when i know i’ve described a scene or a character just right. i’ve made a lot of amazing friends through writing & i love knowing something i’ve created might bring a smile to someone. ❤

[franeridart]

fran i dont understand the last art?? is it a noragami au since the weapons are people?? help my dumb ass senpai

It’s !!!! okay anon why would you be dumb just for not knowing a fandom with an anime that finished airing eight years ago and a manga that finished publication four years ago haha it’s called Soul Eater! An incredibly good manga in my opinion, one of the best shounen ever, I would look it up if I were you :D 

Anon said:Could you possibly do a Tokoyami and Shouji fusion? I just love your art style with bnha!! It's fine if you don't want to though! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I already did!!! :O and thank you so much!!!

Anon said:i love your art, so i looked through all 64 pages of your art tag. cant wait to see more!! ;)

Thank you!!!! °O° though.... the older stuff... we could maybe pretend that never existed ever........ that’d be nice......... lmao

Anon said:followed you the second I finished reading that bakugou analysis

I take you’re of my same opinion on the matter!!! That’s nice to know hahaha 

Anon said:You really don't need to respond!! but I thought you might get a laugh at this idea. Denki convinces the squad to do GOTG w/ him for a costume party (A LOT of begging involved... he was obsessed with GOTG at the time) and gets Momo to make their costumes. Katsuki finds out the day of that he assigned him Rocket (assumed he'd be Drax) 😂. (Kami=SL, Mina=Gamora, Sero=Groot, Kiri=Drax). Denki tells him don't worry, all he has to do is be himself to get into character and runs off cackling.

Okay this is adorable hahaha I love it, though I gotta admit I can totally see Bakugou having Rocket as his favorite anyway, he’s exactly the type of character Bakugou might relate to (the “of course I care about the planets and the plants and the animals on those planets!” “and the people!” “...meh” exchange is an incredibly Bakugou thing haha)

Anon said:🌺 Send this to 10 other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (｡’▽’｡)♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Anon said: Shoosh pap

.............I should have expected this ask haha

Anon said:you used the tag limit lmao (for the comic doodle about bakugou's temp)

:O I can see all of them, tho! If the last one you can see is “and yet”, then that’s exactly where I meant to stop lol

Anon said:As far as whether Baku gets cold fast or slow; it's not the same because I don't have a sweat related quirk obviously but I run a constant temperature of 105°F or 40.5°C (maybe that's my quirk) and it takes me a long ass time to get cold so maybe it's like that?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for the info!!!! :O that actually does make sense!

Anon said:I actually do like inko and I think she's a pretty good parent, all things considered-- but I cannot condone the whole "I'm so sorry izuku" thing, simply bc inko is more important to izuku than bakugou. If bakugou says something like "deku, youre worthless", while it is very cruel it definitely 100% will not hurt as much as izukus own mother saying "izuku I'm so sorry that your dreams will never come true". But the good things that she understands her mistake and has apologized to izuku for it.

I mean, yeah! For a long while in the manga I was like, okay, easy to say “oops I was wrong” now that you have actual proofs of the fact you were wrong and you can’t deny the fact that Izuku could make it as a hero since he’s into UA, easy to say “I support you” now that it’s obvious he can make it, using the easy way out much, but I’m always 100% open and supportive of characters that realize their mistakes and change for the better, so even if she had to wait for every condition to be in her favor before she could realize her mistake as long as she got it, that she had finally decided to be a supportive mother I was!!! Super happy for her and about it and ready to like her as much as possible! 

And then she had to go and tell Izuku she wasn’t letting him back into UA. Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand the fear for his life she has as a mother - she didn’t have fifteen years like everyone else to get used to the fact that her boy was set on becoming a hero (...since she refused to acknowledge the possibility, even though Izuku was working to become one without a quirk anyway like, she should have been even more worried for his safety before he got the quirk but WHATEVER) so she’s scared for him, and Izuku’s been hurt a lot since starting UA so I get it, but you don’t just pull the “I’m pulling him out of school” card, in front of Izuku’s teacher, mentor AND greatest hero, without ever discussing the thing with Izuku first? Without even asking for his imput on the matter, or giving him an heads up? As if she owns his whole life? 

I’m your mother I decide what’s best for you and what you want doesn’t matter at all - that’s.... that’s not growing up and learning, and that’s the literal opposite of being supportive. That’s allowing your son to have fun as long as it’s okay with you, and then going “okay, game’s done, who cares that you finally found a way to reach your goal, a place you belong to and are way happier than I’ve ever seen you before, I don’t like it so you can’t keep going”

I’m sorry, but I really, really can’t like Inko if she keeps on being like that. She’s literally the biggest hindrance on Izuku’s path to a fulfilling, happy life, and I need her to stop being like that before I can actually change my mind about her orz

Anon said:side note re: asshole bakugou and deku's development - the manga's translation is //very liberal// in trying to make it sound more 'western' in regards to how in japanese things are more formal (?) baku's demeanor and language would be considered incredibly rude so the translators try and shift the language for the english reading audience. what's probably considered absolutely reprehensible for english readers only seems that way because of how they've tried to adapt it.

Oh, yeah, that too! As long as you stick to mangastream’s translations they’re a bit more literal, but there’s a lot of things that Bakugou says/does that are just... a localization to give the “rude” feeling. Then again, he is an asshole, so you never know what he actually said and what’s just a liberal interpretation haha

Anon said:I love your art style so much! And all your Bakushima doodles and comics are super wonderful!

Ohhhhhh gods thank you so much !!!!! *O*

Anon said:are kendou's feet backwards?

...anon... my friend... why would I draw Kendou’s feet backwards.........

Anon said:Fran the comic about kiribaku and the balconies is--well, let's just say I have a new headcanon and a new otp.

THAT!!!! Makes me super happy to know!!!! :O I’m glad I could make you like those two a bit more

Anon said:Can I suggest you to draw todokami (todoroki and kaminari) please? It's a really rare pair and I would love to see it in your style but if you don't want to or are uncomfortable doing so I understand ^^ ily keep up the good work

Ahhhhhhhhhh it’s not like I’m uncomfortable with it, I just... don’t understand the ship at all? So finding inspiration to draw it is really hard for me, I wouldn’t even know where to begin! sorryyyyy m(;_;)m

Anon said:Everytime I see u posted I honestly gasp a little and then literally whatever it is just makes me happy and smile and ???? Honestly I'm blessed you're so good and lovely and * throws confetti* I hope you have a lovely day and I just wanted to let you know you bring light into my life

Holy smokes thank you so much??? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ;O; this really really means a lot to me, I’m so glad I can make you smile? Ahhhh mannnn!!!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

Anon said:the sweet little bakushima comic that u just posted is my favorite ! piece of ! bnha art ! I've ever seen ! so good. so warm. thank u for sharing ur talent and ideas!! sending u love

Your favorite???? Oh my g o d ;O; thank you??? I’m super glad you liked it aaahhhhhhhh

Anon said:Fran I'm w e a k for everything u do... esp soft boys. You kill me with those.

Soft boys are the best and also my very own weakness too so I!!! try!!!! I’m glad you like them too!!!!!!!! (♡´艸`)

Anon said:THANK YOU FOR THE QUALITY KIRIBAKU YOU ARE A BLESSING

THANK YOU FOR LIKING THE STUFF I MAKE, ANON!!!!! °O°

Anon said:KENDOU!! IS SO GOOD!! YOU DRAW HER SO GOOD!!!! ily fran

G O D S thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m!!!! seriously glad I could make her pretty, she’s so beautiful to me!!!!

Anon said:is it possible to have a crush on someone's art ??? bc i sure do have one on yours it's gorgeous

OKAY HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT I’M OFFICIALLY SLAIN THANK YOU I’M RIP

[zarrie]

@lotusandrose: thank you for the prompt, romy my lovely rose petal. See, I accidentally posted your original ask without finishing the drabble so I had to delete it. lmao. Hope you like this. :)

read this on AO3

Harry doesn't know how it happened but here he is, watching everything unfold right in his very own eyes. 

It started with Gemma barging into his room in the middle of the night in need of a big favor. He curses the Styles’ charm the both of them acquired from their equally charming mother because a few hours later, here he is. It’s two o’clock in the morning, he’s in some random twenty-four hour convenience store, staring at tampons and sanitary napkin displays. 

Harry was just in the middle of distinguishing the difference between a winged and non winged pad and an all night and maternity pad when he hears someone from behind him clear their throat. 

“Can I help you?” a bored looking sales girl say. Ange her name tag says. “You've been staring at the tampon display for about two hours now, so my manager sent me here to help you.”

“Uhh,” Harry starts to say, a blush creeping up his neck. “N-no, I’m good. Thanks”

Ange only raises an eyebrow at him and gives him one of her ‘I don’t got time for this, So just fucking spit it out’ look.

“It’s for my sister,” Harry finds himself spitting out, her threatening look effective. “I forgot to bring my phone and I forgot to ask her what to buy. Today’s the first day and-”

“Down the aisle, top shelf.” Ange says, cutting Harry off. “It’s the one in the blue packaging with green butterflies on them.”

“Thanks.” he says with a small smile. She only releases a deep breath and turns to go back to her work station. 

Harry turns to go to retrieve his purchase, already thanking his lucky stars because there’s one left. He reaches a hand to grab it when someone else beats him to it. 

“Heyyy,” Harry starts to whine, about to give the tampon thief a piece of his mind when his brain got sidetracked by the guy’s incredibly beautiful face.

Harry has no knowledge when it comes to art but he finds himself deciding that this guy’s face is a masterpiece. With cheekbones that could probably cut through diamonds and eyelashes that’s similar to a fan. He also has eyes as golden as caramel syrup and lips as pink as cotton candy. It also got Harry deciding that the man is not only a work of art, but he’s also a dessert that Harry wants to desperately try.

He was about to start to hit on the guy when his brains wills himself to remember the task at hand when his exploring eyes land on the blue packaging the man has in his beautifully tattooed hand. 

“Yeah?” the beautiful stranger asks, his accent as pretty as his face. 

“Those are mine,” Harry says, making sure to keep his voice low. It’s bad enough that Ange was watching him watch tampon displays for two hours. It’d be worse if she finds him playing tug of war with a pretty stranger. “Well, they’re technically my sister’s but you get the picture.”

“Oh,” the stranger says, looking from Harry to the item he has on his hand. “Sorry mate, I didn't realize you wanted them too. They’re also for my sister too.”

“Funny how we’re both sent here by our sisters,” Harry replies, unable to believe himself for switching from staring at a tampon display for hours one minute to hitting on a pretty stranger right next to the said display the next. 

“Yeah, funny,” the stranger replies with a smirk. The smirk effectively making Harry feel.. things. “Funny how life is like this.”

“I’m Harry,” Harry says, reaching out a hand to introduce himself. 

“Zayn.” he replies, accepting the hand Harry offered him. “Nice to meet you.”

“And you,” Harry says with a smile. “So, Is it okay if I get those tampons back? My sister is going to kill me. I've been gone for two hours now.”

“Uhh,” Zayn says, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. “The thing is.. my sister specifically told me to buy this brand and nothing else. Is it okay if you get your sister something else?”

Harry catches a glimpse of Ange, the scary sales girl look at him from behind the counter. He has a feeling that if he goes there with something else, she wouldn't be too happy with him. 

“Sorry,” Harry says with an attempt to look apologetic. “I was told to get that specifically too.”

“Oh” Zayn replies, releasing a frustrated breath. “Okay, I guess.” He hands Harry the tampons back. Just as Harry was about to thank him again, he hears Zayn’s phone ring.

“Hey Wali,” he hears him say into his phone. “Yeah sorry, they’re all out. I’ll get something else.. yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try and ask the staff.” Harry watches him apologize to Wali. (Harry guesses it’s the sister who sent Zayn to do her bidding.) And notes how Zayn’s shoulders are slumped, his sister probably telling his ear off, a treatment Harry’s sure he’ll receive from Gemma later. 

“Well, you’ll have to try those instead, I guess. Sorry Wali.” Zayn continues to tell her, his voice soothing. It tugs at Harry’s heart at how gentle this boy is. He’s only met him but god, Harry’s hooked. It’s not everyday you meet a pretty and gentle stranger in the tampon aisle.

“Here, take them.” Harry says without thinking. Ange and Gemma can both tag team to take his sorry ass down. “I’m sure my sister won’t mind if I get something else.” He holds the item in his hand for Zayn to take. 

“Wali, I need to go.” he hears him say into his phone before hanging up. Zayn looks at Harry as if he’s trying to analyze his face, probably looking for some sort of catch but Harry tries to school his face to look genuine. “Are you sure, mate? What about your sister?”

No, not really. “Yeah.” Harry says despite his brain’s retorts. “Take them. I’m sure my sister won’t be as upset as yours.” He’s lying but it doesn't hurt to keep that a secret from him.

Zayn makes a grab for the tampons and offers Harry the most angelic smile he’s ever seen. “Thank you, Harry.” he says, his eyes glittering. 

Harry only smiles at him in return, unable to speak because he might say something stupid like FUCK ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW IN THE TAMPON AISLE.

Once they both leave the convenience store, Ange making sure to tut loudly in Harry’s direction when he passes by her empty handed, they look at each other. The both of them standing by their cars, both not knowing how to say their goodbyes. 

“Well,” Zayn says, brave enough to disturb the silence. “Thanks again.”

“No worries,” Harry says, hands inside his pockets. Zayn smiles at him a final time then goes inside car, leaving Harry alone in the parking area. 

Harry turns to open his car door when he hears Zayn’s voice once again calling his name. 

“Yeah?” Harry asks, looking at him. Zayn throws something at him that Harry catches. 

“For your sister,” Zayn tells a confused Harry. “So she could use something tonight.”

“Thanks.” Harry replies with a dimpled smile. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.” Zayn nods at him once more and goes inside his car again and drives off. Harry makes sure to stay in place till the back of Zayn’s car is out of view.

- -

Once Harry gets back, he isn't surprised to find Gemma yelling at him for taking ages to buy fucking tampons in the store and for going home empty handed. She doesn't give Harry the chance to hand her the tampon Zayn gave him, her temper and her hormones getting the best of her. She leaves the house with a huff, complaining about how Harry cannot follow a simple instruction.

Harry falls on the bed with a loud oof!  His body tired and exhausted. He’ll make it up to Gemma tomorrow when she’s in better spirits. He goes to remove his jeans when the tampon Zayn gave him falls off the jeans’ pockets. 

He goes to retrieve it and was about to throw it away when he sees a small note attached to it. 

9874561265 - zayn x thanks again

Harry smiles at the note. He doesn't know how it happened but here he is, watching everything unfold right in his very own eyes. One minute he was trying to figure out the difference between a maternity pad and all night pad, the next he’s exchanging texts with a pretty stranger he met at a tampon display, planning on getting coffee the next day before work because their sisters kept them up all night.