#realised I don't really understand why people do that
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megpie71 · 2 days ago
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For people who really have trouble with not reacting to things (I'm one of them) I offer my handy hints for looking less like an intolerant buffoon on the internet.
You don't have to respond. You can just go "okay, that's obvious nonsense", and depending on the type of nonsense, skip to the next post, or if necessary, block the person posting it for a bit.
You don't have to post your response. I tend to write long rambling responses to things and then just close the window and delete them. If you have problems with not hitting "reblog", write up your response outside the Tumblr application / window - use a different program, write it up... and then, just don't post it. I have a text file which sits on my computer called "Things That Didn't Get Posted to Tumblr" which contains the half-finished rants, raves, rambles and similar that I started writing, and then didn't post. Lets me get the feelings out, lets me figure out what I'm thinking (I actually think in text, so I have to see things written down to understand what I'm thinking / feeling about a thing) but not necessarily things other people need to see.
You don't have to post your response immediately. Write it up, let it sit for a while (preferably a while where you walk away and do Something Else) before reading it again, and deciding whether it's worthy of posting. Sometimes, taking a break and coming back to something is a good way of disengaging your brain from the white-hot fury of the moment, and when you come back, you realise you've grabbed the wrong end of the stick, or that you're reacting far too strongly to someone being silly... and you can choose one of the other options instead.
Also, I would strongly urge making the most of the dashboard filtering tools available to you, like blocking people. I have a large and robust killfile, and I track why I blocked people and when. This serves two purposes - firstly, it means that a block from me isn't absolutely permanent forever and ever amen (It's usually about 6 months in the first instance, and then a further 6 months on a watchlist). Secondly, if I'm on something of a blocking spree on a particular day, it's a hint to me this might be a good time to put the Tumblr down and go do something else that's less annoying. But I will always, always have a killfile and an active block list, and I don't subscribe to people who annoy me. Doing this at least means you're not deliberately putting yourself in a position where you're getting prodded in tender places on a regular basis.
Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.
There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.
The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.
The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.
There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)
And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.
But. This brings me to the real point of the post.
Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:
Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.
And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"
And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.
It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.
And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.
TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.
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somewhereincairparavel · 3 days ago
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Hey, thanks for replying to my previous ask! and don't worry about the time it took to reply, I understand needing to recharge in order to give your 100% on a reply.
Now about that villain Jason you were speaking of... do share your thoughts if you don't mind :)
i responded like. 10 days late I'm sorry I had so much to do and i didn't get the time to write such a long post- I'm scared if I lost my momentum on my essay writing skills but let's see if I did good on this one.
I have thoughts about this man especially villian jason, so let me begin. i know luke was considered as “what percy would've become if he did the wrong thing” but hear me out. jason being the one ‘hero’ demigod to succumb to his bitterness and didn't just solely exist in the series to be a villian, but a hero changed villian.
luke kinda existed in pjo to be an antagonist, but it would be great if a main hero character slowly descended to madness and I don't just mean going around killing people. no. not that kind of villian. because that defeats the purpose of jason's character.
I mean villian in the sense of a drastic change in his personality where he brings obstacles to the seven's missions emotionally or physically because of his trauma, and that's where dark! jason comes in.
after he regains his memories after he experienced the warmth of chb, he's pissed at how badly he was treated all these years in camp jupiter. he comes to a REALISATION that he was used.
people don't take jason seriously and say that he suffered the ‘least’ because he doesn't ever acknowledge his trauma. Not even to himself. of course the argument ‘he was raised this way, to supress himself!’ would be the explanation, but that doesn't even make sense, considering how much it's emphasized that jason ‘changed’ after his experience in camp half blood.
give me a jason who maintains his roman ethic but simultaneously inherits the greek demigod qualities, like self realisation, calling people out for the bad treatment, anger towards the gods, or just expressing himself in general. the argument of ‘he was raised this way, to supress himself! that's why he's so submissive’ makes me angry
give me a jason who's jealous of how quickly percy was accepted into camp jupiter, in contrast to how everyone in camp half blood couldn't stop talking about percy and never gave up on him. camp half blood was friendly to jason, but in a ‘yeah he's cool ig’ kinda way in comparison to camp jupiter's ‘HES OUR HERO, BOW DOWN TO HIM’ kinda dramatics for percy.
give me a jason who is disappointed at the lack of warm welcome he got when he returned, when he was clearly expecting more from them (does that make him look entitled? for wanting repayment for his service and kindness all these years? maybe. but that's the point he really needed to be an asshole sometimes and he's fucking right.)
give me a jason who takes some of the bitterness he has against his mom out on thalia, for not looking for him (yes it's not even remotely her fault for getting manipulated by her mom by thinking jason is dead, but see the parallels here? camp jupiter and thalia both got gaslit into thinking that jason is dead, that jason sees the correlation and it gives him ptsd) jason is jealous and bitter that luke and annabeth ‘replaced’ him as thalia's family. jason is jealous that thalia said ‘i have to look for percy’
give me a jason who's jealous of percy having such a huge support system like basically the whole of camp half blood, annabeth, grover sally and paul. and is salty that he had an alcoholic mother who wanted him dead.
give me a jason who feels distant from everyone, because in a way, he always was. he just didn't show it. his friendship with reyna failed, he was ‘rivals’ with percy, they became friends bit not best friends, annabeth was wary of him, piper dumped him, frank saw him as a historical leader, and hazel who once admired him, didn't really like him till the very end bc of the nico thing.
give me a jason who's cold to reyna after they reunite because he was angry that he was so quickly replaced, upset that reyna avoided him ever since the venus incident because he didn't understand why.
give me a jason who inherits his mother's worst traits despite that being his biggest fear. it would parallel very well, his mom descended to insanity because zeus abandoned her, give me jason who also descends similarly because he was abandoned by her. full circle.
jason's interaction with beryl should've been way more emotional and compelling rather than the 2 second bit we got tbh, most people don't even remember that scene, that tells you how short it was.
give me a jason who momentarily makes the room full of giants and monsters suffocate by harshly sucking the air without even realising it, because the sight of his mother made him so fucking angry and agressive, it triggers his PTSD and makes his mind THROB (but piper and annabeth are safe from that because they were the ones who anchored him to reality, regardless, they get terrified of how mad he got)
jason who actually remembers his childhood trauma VIVIDLY and reflects on it instead of brushing it off, please. people also, for some reason are more sympathetic to antagonists with tragic backstories? like luke? like they pity them over the morally good characters? idk but it tends be a tendency in most fandoms. I saw so many pinterest posts comparing luke's actions to jason's? like I'm sorry luke is a good character but NOT comparable to jason (who's a morally good ‘hero’ character) they're not even on the same level of moral goodness. but yeah, maybe jason would've gained more empathy from the fans if he were an antagonist, like luke is receiving.
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azelsdoormat · 14 hours ago
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Azel Radwan Main Story
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This translation is fanmade and strictly for entertainment purposes only. All media and original content belong to Cybird. Do not use, claim as your own, repost or reupload onto other platforms, reblogs are welcome.
<< Azel’s POV >>
True love— to me, is the most evil of curses that must never befall me. 
I have yet to come to know love.
But I want to someday fall in love and understand what it is. 
A passionate love like a rose set ablaze, and a fierce love that stays on for eternity like a woven tale. 
...
<< Emma’s POV >>
??? (Azel): I have some unfortunate news for you, who yearns for love and thirsts for knowledge of what it is.
???: Love is not the grand blessing it is often proclaimed to be. 
???: At the very least, love is something I would very much rather do without.
???: — For I am a god incapable of loving people. 
...
Clavis: Emma, you’re going to Tanzanite soon, right? 
Luke: Honestly, I didn't expect that you’d go without him tagging along. 
Rio: I really do want to go with her!! What if something happens to her when I’m not there…!? 
Rio: But if staying behind will help Emma feel more at ease on her trip, then I… I’ll… 
Clavis: Haha, you can be rest assured about that.
Clavis: Because we’ll be her bodyguards in your place. 
(Seriously, what's going on here!?) 
After fulfilling my duty as “Belle”, I set off for the dazzling kingdom of Tanzanite with the bookstore’s owner and self-proclaimed bodyguards—. 
That land was home to the one and only god revered by all its inhabitants. 
Azel: If you’re interested, I could divine your future for you.
Azel: Please, allow me to repay you for going out of your way to come to a place like this. 
I thought he was a benevolent and kind god. 
However—... 
Azel: It’s time for collection. 
Emma: C-collection of?
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Azel: Don't tell me you thought I performed the divine art of fortune-telling for free?
Emma: But you said it was a token of gratitude…! 
Azel: Shall I let you know what happens when you defy me?  
His true nature turned out to be that of a money-obsessed and ill-natured god!? 
Fooled by his scheming antics and caught in his trap like a prey, I fell into a life of servitude, being worked to the bone like a slave… 
Azel: Be that as it may, I have another errand for you.
Emma: Another one!? I just came from shopping.
Azel: How pitiful. But I’ll have you remember that you’re indebted to me. 
Azel: You would be spared from running any more errands if you could repay your debt in full, however…
Azel: That's not at all possible, now is it? 
Azel: Delicious. 
Emma: Snacking is forbidden! 
Azel: Doesn’t matter whether I eat now or later. 
Emma: It’s bad manners. 
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Azel: Preaching manners to a god? 
Emma: It doesn't matter whether you’re a god or human. Your feelings will never be conveyed effectively if you don't speak up. 
Emma: Sneaking bites of food or using me as a shield to fend off women, I’m not happy about either of those! 
But as I spent more time with this living god in his isolated castle in the desert, I came to realise something. 
Emma: First of all, you have an abnormal sense of personal boundaries. 
Azel: Huh? What does that mean? 
Emma: No one behaves like this with someone who's merely an acquaintance.
Emma: You said that you’d “hate if I fell for you”, and yet you have… a strange sense of personal boundaries. 
Emma: I’m surprised because you do many things that people normally don't. 
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Azel: … Because I’m a god. 
Emma: That explains why you’re so detached from reality— 
Emma: *incoherent words* 
Azel: (muttering under his breath) —... I only did it because you looked cold. 
Emma: … By any chance, did the living god himself carry me to bed? 
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Azel: … No.
Emma: Then what about the part where I was clinging onto you— 
Azel: That one is true.
Emma: “That one”? 
Azel: … 
(... I think I might be starting to understand Azel.) 
Before I knew it, an unfamiliar feeling began to sprout in my heart. A feeling different from the frustration I’d felt before… 
That feeling marked the beginning of a tragedy. 
Emma: … Countless people are suffering right before your eyes. 
Azel: And what about it? I’ve said it before, haven't I? I’ve long been disgusted by humans. 
Azel: If you think god is supposed to be some kind of benevolent entity, you make me laugh. 
Azel: Whatever happens to mere mortals is none of my concern. 
Azel: Akatsuki, I advise you to leave Tanzanite before the full moon. 
Akatsuki: … Are things about to get worse?
Azel: Indeed. It won’t be long before they do. 
The changes in the world grew closer with every passing moment. 
And then, the moment I discovered a truth hidden deep within the isolated castle in the desert — I came to know about a “curse”. 
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Azel: You touched what you should never have.
Azel: Did you think you could get away with it unscathed? 
(After crying my heart out, I have to make a choice.) 
(Will this be where I bid farewell to Azel? Or…) 
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Azel: When and where did I start going down the wrong path? I never intended to love you, not even in the slightest… 
Azel: I’ve lost my way… how terrible. And the worst part is that I can bring myself to hate it. 
The god started off praying to never know love, and eventually wished to know what love was in the end.
Is true love a curse that turns people into beasts, or—? 
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yanderenightmare · 6 hours ago
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Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.
Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?
Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!
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♡ Personal experience!
I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.
It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.
So, here's my advice.
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♡ First off, accept that haters are gonna hate!
Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.
With that being said, however...
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♡ You gotta do what feels right!
Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!
Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!
So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!
However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!
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♡ Never go to bed angry!
This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.
This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.
I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!
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♡ The difference between hate and critique!
Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.
But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.
And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.
People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!
But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!
And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!
Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.
Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.
But anyway, moving on.
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♡ Final advice!
Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.
But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!
Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.
Anyway, hope this helps!
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astracora · 2 days ago
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A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 1
Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 779
Written: 21st December 2024
Notes: This is the first fanfic I've posted, it's not proofread, I don't know how many chapters there will be. Pray for me. Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
It's one thing to take their government mandated holidays, as a hunter. It feels wrong, they know they need to take time off. People need breaks. If they don't rest, they fray. As a hunter, being sloppy means letting someone get hurt.
They know that.
Still... they've never been good at taking time off. It was easier with their family around, if Caleb hadn't dragged them home occasionally, they'd have burned themselves out frequently.
Now they just face the disapproving looks of their dear doctor... who is far less enthused, but far too professional to do any dragging.
It's another thing when their favourite captain tells them to go home because they look like shit. Alright, maybe not in that many words, but the sentiment was there. They try to imagine Jenna cursing and while it feels right, they also feel like they've seen something they really shouldn't.
She's right though, they muse. Dark circles, clothing tattering, ache in limbs.
If they'd been asked when they last took a holiday... well they couldn't answer.
Tara nudges them, warm smile on her face, "I'll text you. Go sleep." And with a warm hand on their back, she pushes them towards the door.
They're tempted to look for Xavier to say goodbye for the day, but it's late and he could be anywhere. (Though they're willing to bet he's stolen a break room for a nap.)
Instead they leave the Hunters Association, standing in the street below, staring up at the holiday decorations lining the street. It's cold enough that their teeth chatter...
And they come face to face with the loneliness of being stood here, an empty home and the knowledge that all their loved ones are still busy, working, wrapping everything up.
They could go visit Zayne, but he's got such an important job they don't want to intrude. (The voice in their head that sounds a bit like his tries to remind them they could never intrude.) They could message Xavier, but if he's finally resting they'd had to disturb him. (They never could, he's pleased whenever they spend time with him or join him for a nap.) They could go check in on Rafayel, but he's preparing for an exhibit and they don't want to break his creative flow. (How could they when they're his muse? The reason he found purpose in a paintbrush again.)
Instead they stand and stew and struggle. Internally debating how much they can exist in a space, before a caw snaps them out of their shuddering. Arms wrapped around them through the too thin coat, not at all built for the snow and chill.
Mephie perches on their shoulder, his red eyes gleaming. They're hit with the strange feeling that the robot bird knows and sees far more than he should, before the non metal feathers puff up, snuggling into the crook of their neck.
In seconds all the tense strain in their limbs ease up, and they breathe out a long exhale. "Hey." They manage, forcing their teeth to stop chattering and their smile comes gently.
They're unsure if it's for the birds benefit, or for his owner, but they realise it doesn't matter. Both bring unrivalled comfort.
Their new companion, caws again, tone deaf and glitchy, before clacking his beak at them. Extending his foot, a small message tied to it.
Why Sylus doesn't send them messages in any normal way, they'll never understand. He enjoys phone calls, texts them constantly, but whenever he wants to be dramatic, in flies Mephisto with a letter or a note, on a blaze of feathers and metal.
Gently, they untie it, patting the pretty bird's head as they do so with one hand.
He preens and coos at them happily, glitchy static and very real pleasure at their attention.
'You have time off. I'm booking it for the week.'
They'd question how he knows, but he always seems to know. They should find it creepy, but they've since learned if he doesn't watch their back constantly, people who want them hurt do.
Perhaps they've grown too soft on him, his attentions, his affection, his constantly presence, but they find it more soothing than unnerving.
Still. They would like to know how many ways he's keeping track of them.
If only for the curiousity lurking under their skin, one of the traits he teases them for.
"I guess you're my accompaniment then Mephie?" The bird puffs up, proud and preening, and he looks far too much like his prideful master for a moment for them to not chuckle. As their guide kicks up into the sky, flying off, they follow him a little lighter.
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amberjazmyn · 23 hours ago
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f1 drivers as christmas songs🫶
pairing : m.verstappen, l.norris, c.sainz, o.piastri, c.leclerc, d.ricciardo
summary : mostly innaccurate but, a christmas song that i think matches these above formula drivers.
warnings : absolutely none lol
a/n : don't @ me but i'm really wanting to release a decent-ish amount of fic-mas fics before christmas ends let alone begins so forgive me if these are crap lol
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max verstappen
silent night
i have no idea why silent night came to mind for max but, it just did.
i just feel like max loves christmases that are just relaxed, not too much effort
and i feel like he doesn't like it when he has to go to multiple different christmas get togethers
all because he just wants to be at home with his cats and with his immediate family
he loves a calm but bright christmas
whilst he may not be religious, christmas can feel holy at the same time for him
does he sleep in heavenly peace like the song suggests?
i definitely think he does because he doesn't have to worry about the race season until the new year
which means i think he also doesn't care what he eats or how much he eats
and it's because he knows he won't have to really worry about not losing it because he'll still make sure to occasionally train at the gym every once in a while
the main thing about christmas he enjoyed wasn't all the presents he got but the love he got to be surrounded by
lando norris
last christmas
the only real reason why last christmas came to mind was because of lando's ex-girlfriend luisa
i truly think lando really loved luisa more than he loved any other of his ex girlfriend's
hence why i think the lyrics 'i gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away' really screams lando to me as a christmas song
do i think lando has tried to save himself from tears and giving his heart to someone special?
no, i truly think lando's someone special was luisa
but, lando has definitely given away his heart to people that don't deserve it
and i'm not just talking female relationships either for lando
i'm also taking about people in lando's life that have been shown his heart and then taken it for granted
i may also be referring to lando himself
lando is someone who loves to self-sabotage and think awfully of himself
so when someone tells him that he's amazing and that they don't understand why he's so hard on himself, he'll just blindly accept it
and he'll wrongly stay close to them thinking that all they want for him is happiness
when really they don't want him to succeed
they just want him because of his name and his popularity
however, at some point lando realises and he becomes more guarded
but, he also becomes more confident in who he is and becomes more trusting of himself
carlos sainz jr
feliz navidad
and no, i didn't just do this because carlos is spanish
i did it because i fully believe that carlos absolutely loves christmas cause he gets to spend the entire time with his family and loved ones
and it really seems as though carlos is a real family man and loves to be able to have the freedom to spend all the time in the world with them
no more races for the year taking him away from seeing anyone he loves
no more stress about whether or not the race strategy would either work in his favour or absolutely betray him
the only thing he had to stress about was whether or not he'd be able to hug and speak to as many people as possible
and this was because there were always so many people at the sainz christmas dinner that carlos couldn't really remember who he had spoken to and those he hadn't
i also think that when this song starts playing, carlos is singing it from the tops of his lungs
he loves being spanish so i really think he'd absolutely yell the lyrics of this song with absolutely no shame at all
i think he'd also make his famous fluffy pancake recipe the morning of christmas day for sure
i also think that carlos would be the best and most thoughtful gift-giver
like, whilst we all know that physical touch is definitely one of carlos' love languages, i also think gift-giving is another one of his love languages
especially with so many in his extended family, i do really think carlos gives the best gifts to his parents and his sisters as well as the children of his sisters
like, i bet everyone loves uncle carlos during christmas time more than they already love him
oscar piastri
where are you christmas?
okay, i know this sounds depressing but, it does make sense and gets better
because i mean in the way of the fact that if oscar wants to be home for christmas, he can't just drive five,ten, fifteen, twenty etc. minutes away to his parents house for christmas
he has to take a whole ass 20+ hour flight all the way back to melbourne
meaning he has to pack up a whole suitcase and possibly carry-on bag and plan flights to melbourne as well as return flights to england
and he also has to bring with him all of the christmas presents that he has bought for his family with him which adds so much more weight to his probably already heavy suitcase and carry-on
and then on top of all of that, he'll most likely either pick the earliest flight possible or the latest flight possible but he'll still be exhausted from the long flight and the jetlag
that when he finally arrives home in melbourne, he doesn't feel as christmassy as he used to when he didn't have to do this huge round-the-world trip just to be home with his loved ones for christmas
because he's exhausted from that long haul flight that seeing all of or lack thereof christmas decorations, christmas feels like a regular day except presents are shared with one another and there is a shit ton of food
as well as the fact that it's most likely going to be a total fire ban day and that it's going to be the literal hottest day of the entire year
meaning the day is going to be horrible because the heat is going to overwhelm everyone
oscar especially since he had gotten so used to the extreme chill of england that returning home for christmas, he forgot just how bloody hot australia gets in comparison to the heat that england experiences on the rare occasion it isn't doom and gloom over there
however, it's not all negative because i'm sure when oscar finally settles back into the rhythm of being back home in melbourne, he feels like he can finally relax
and that he can finally enjoy not having to always be on the go every single day
and that he doesn't have to really monitor how much or how little he has to eat to make sure he stays in prime shape to fit in the f1 car
he can just relax, be with his family and loved ones and eat as much food as he wants
by the end of his time in australia, christmas does manage to find oscar and he is relieved that he found it as well because he really does love the magic and simplicity of spending christmas with his family
charles leclerc
it's the most wonderful time of the year
charles leclerc is a christmas lover
he loves the magic of it
he loves the gift-giving to those he loves
especially his little niece, chiara
he loves being together with his mum pascale and his two brothers lorenzo and arthur
he just loves christmas
he really thinks that it's the most wonderful time of the year
hearing the carolers sing carols throughout monaco's main street
he just finds it absolutely beautiful at how magical christmas in monaco gets
he also loves the christmas music that gets played throughout the shops as he and everyone else frantically try to buy everything they need for christmas
he loves the christmas rush
whilst he dislikes at how late he shops for christmas presents, he turns it into a game
a game to see how much quicker than the person next to him can he find what he needs to get his two brothers for christmas
charles already getting all the presents for his mum, niece chiara and girlfriend but leaving arthur and lorenzo's present until the last possible moment because he just got so busy buying everyone else's christmas presents
however, charles does manage to get presents for his two brothers and in record time to with less than days before christmas day arrives
when it comes to the day of christmas and spending it with his family and his loved ones, the little children are immediately drawn to him
not because uncle and cousin charles is an f1 driver but because he tells the best ghost and christmas stories of the past
he tells them stories in french, italian and english of different stories of how christmas used to be celebrated in the earlier centuries
the kids listening in excitement and on the edge of their seats as charles really gets into the fantasy side of it all
he loves seeing the little kids in his family also love the magic and joy of christmas
hence why he loved to spread that same magic and joy that he had for christmas
even though he was way beyond the years of really believing in santa, who said christmas wasn't magical for the adults as well as the kids?
daniel ricciardo
aussie jingle bells
alright, i may look like i'm totally taking the piss here but, this is genuinely the song i think of when i think of daniel ricciardo + christmas
i did think about giving this song to oscar but it didn't feel right and daniel was the only other aussie f1 driver that i could totally see actually screaming out this song from the top of his lungs
daniel is a lot more hardcore aussie than oscar and jack doohan are to the point i could literally imagine him being in charge of the aux for christmas and just playing this one song by colin buchanan and greg champion on repeat
until someone tells him to cut it out or put on another christmas song
in all seriousness though, every single aussie knows this aussie twist on the classic jingle bells and it is genuinely the most honest representation of an australian christmas
it is always (majority of the time - except for that one christmas last year it was fucking freezing and raining!) a scorching hot summer's day the week leading up to and on the day of christmas
to the point that, like the song literally states, you end up in your singlet shorts and thongs (flip-flops)
but, the most false thing that is in this aussie jingle bells is the majority of us australians do not live in the bush/outback
the majority of us actually live on the coastline but, that doesn't change the fact that it's still hot as balls in australia during christmas time because in the southern hemispehre for the months of january, febuary and march, it is summertime which in the northern hemispehre it's wintertime
going back to daniel, i genuinely think that he's the one cooking up all the food on the barbecue as well as the one who hands out the drinks from the esky
i also think daniel will also be a great and thoughful gift-giver
whilst he'd definitely put a few joke gifts in there like a cheeky box of cards against humanity or a game of beer pong, i think he'd also be very thoughtful
especially in regards to his parents, i think he'd be really thoughtful and get them presents that would be very meaningful
but, going back to the beer pong game, he'd also definitely be the one that starts that game
i also feel like daniel would pull out a cheeky christmas shoey just because it was his time off from racing and he is a man of tradition
and i say doing a christmas shoey is pretty australian of him
fin
ok, this definitely came out more as a crack-fic than what it was originally meant to but i'm just glad i have another christmas fic up and done! daniel's was most definitely the one that made it into a crack fic but, i don't hate it. i think daniel represents the majority of the true blue aussies whilst oscar is the complete opposite of true blue aussie. and honestly, it's relatable because not many australians have the stereotypical bogan accent that a lot of foreigners think that we do. well, speaking for myself, i only become aware of my australian accent when i say very particular words like 'australia' and 'water' as the two that come to mind. but, anyway, i hope guys enjoyed whatever the fuck this was and merry christmas & happy holidays my lovelies <3
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©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024
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starpros-sunshine · 1 year ago
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I don't really like the way this colouring turned out but oh well I'm getting back into it
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hephaestuscrew · 2 years ago
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I'm not the first person to say this, but there really is something groundbreaking about the lack of romantic plotlines in Wolf 359.
Wolf 359 is a story aimed at and about adults. It's partly about what it means to be human. It's partly about how we exist in relation to other people. It's partly about interpersonal connection and understanding. It has character relationships at its heart. It features so many moments of love and care between characters. It takes place across just over two years of the characters' lives, with 61 episodes and a main cast that grows to a decent size.
And despite all this, the show doesn't feature a single canonical 'on-screen' romantic (or sexual) relationship. Perhaps that shouldn't be as rare as it is, but it's one of the many things that makes Wolf 359 special to me.
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things-methinks · 6 months ago
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Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience
#🐈‍⬛⚜️#A couple weeks back I was stopped by these uni students who were promoting a convention and advocating for Palestine#I was really sad and tired then so I was like sure. let's chat#I signed a petition and began talking to these 2 girls#One was a white girl. the other wasn't. could not pinpoint her background though#Anyways. we talked about the state of the world and Palestine and how the US and by extension the Western World has failed them#(which is a topic of its own because the Western World did not 'fail Palestine' they literally wanted this annihilation to happen#and have been an active participant in it)#And I pointed how ultra rich Arab countries have completely turned a blind eye to it but poorer countries such as Yemen. Lebanon have#been doing so much. despite their own vulnerable position#And this girl said but they're still not doing enough. they could lend military help#I was just disappointed because it doesn't take more than 15 seconds to realise why a regional war is not the solution#By virtue of wanting justice. I would want the IOF to be blown up too but that's not the solution#simply because the casualties will be the civilians of all of these countries and we cannot put millions of people at risk#And she kept telling me about how they're a socialist group. and she was also kind of taken aback by how much thoughts I had about this?#They're having a convention on Socialism and co (social issues. Marxism and all that jazz) next month and that I should consider cominv#Then she hit me with 'The entry is only $90' and there's a student bundle where you can get a book and a tote bag#Honestly funny as shit#And she kept insisting I should buy the book. it was 'Introduction to Marxism' I believe#I did not know how to tell her that I did not want to read that. and even if I did I would just pirate the Communist Manifesto#Anyways. interesting experience and it did make me focus back on how different Brown Leftists and white leftists are#I like to give them grace because it's hard to know context and history and social rules about somewhere you haven't lived or grown up#But I do believe if you're advocating for another group of people. you need to learn and understand first and foremost#I actually don't know what to make of that whole interaction tbh
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avatarofwar · 1 year ago
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i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask
sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story
before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy
a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression
wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.
putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)
first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.
prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).
owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).
wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).
there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).
he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.
I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.
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kkujo · 2 years ago
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#seeing weird t //rf takes abt surrogacy is so. 😨 'you can't pay to use a woman's body!!!!' ok first of all that is. Not how it works.#like. obviously in some situations people choose to be a surrogate as a last resort which is absolutely not good#but i really really really hate this black and white mentality these people get where if it's bad sometimes it's labelled Bad#some ppl genuinely choose to be surrogates bc they enjoy the process of pregnancy & helping people achieve their dream of starting a family#'surrogacy should be illegal' do you realise how fucking insane you sound?#forcing women into surrogacy should be illegal sure. but can we like. focus on making a society where women don't feel forced into that.#rather than ruling it out and labelling it bad overall when it's so much more nuanced than that??? it's really really weird?#if a woman knows the risks of pregnancy but genuinely wants to experience it to allow someone else to have a child??#that's? their choice?#the least f*minist thing you can possibly do is say hey actually it shouldn't be allowed for women to do that w their body#like you do realise that sounds fucking crazy right#and then the whole 'they only 'enjoy' it bc they've been conditioned to think that blah blah blah GOD do you HEAR YOURSELF...#why are you acting like all women are immature children incapable of making informed decisions.#in the name of f*minism too like you must realise how patronising it is.#'she THINKS she wants it but no one wants that!!!' or maybe you just don't understand that different ppl feel differently abt stuff.#if YOU don't want to be a surrogate then don't 😭 it's no one's place to tell anyone what they want.#and for those with fertility issues etc etc who can't have their own children biologically it's such an immense kindness & blessing#to have someone willing to carry a child for you. like it's really incredible that people choose to do that#and undermining it by acting like they've been groomed into it by the patriarchy...... hello.#anyway rant over it's just such a weird take and not what i expected to see today#'just adopt' yes adoption is super important and there are so many kids who need homes but. it's also an extremely lengthy process#and rlly difficult sometimes too#& if a couple wants their own biological child that's their choice yk as long as everyone involved is ok w it ur opinion does not matter😭
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wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
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I remember how I used to read tumblr and the more angry and disillusioned someone seemed with society and life, the more valid I thought their point of view was. This is now mostly no longer the case, but when I'm depressed I think I still go there.
#i think there was a lot of 'you personally must do something to fix this vast societal problem!!!'#and also 'your personal self and identity is personally dangerous is me as a marginilised person'#'your words are violence and your presence itself is violence'- these messages i really loved as a kind of emotional self harm#i wasn't used to having my own identity because my abuser never let me have one so the idea of me having one being somehow oppressive#and therefore the idea of me not having one must be good and was helping somehow#and that's why i was closeted for so long- well that and living in my parents' house till my mid-20s i guess#now i realise that the idea i had that my shit feelings helped marginlised people somehow came from my church growing up#suffering is good...but actually me suffering is neutral and feeling like shit is neutral to the world at large#me feeling bad doesn't help others. i liked to pretend it did because i had to justify my existence to myself#as a privileged person but now i realise i also have to live my life because that's all we get! Just the one!#and there's only one way out of doing it and the fact that i was even contemplating that showed how extreme this was all getting#i HAVE to live and i have to understand myself and keep going#and not give up and say 'everything is so shit and as a privileged person i only make things worse so what's the point of doing anything?'#i think a lot of social justice at one point had unintentionally gotten across the idea of 'if you try you will only make things worse#so don't even try'.#i think a lot of people writing back then were having really difficult times and had genuinely difficult lives and i hugely sympathise#i hope all of them are doing really well in 2024 and are living securely and have happiness and joy
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uravitypng · 8 months ago
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big beefy number one pro hero deku is absolutely smitten with you, his chubby little girlfriend, and yeah you're a little bit of an airhead sometimes but that makes you all the more endearing to him.
prior to meeting you he used to feel embarrassed whenever he'd ramble too long about heroes or quirks. after some time people would drown him out after he started his disjointed babbling, not wanting to listen to him ramble. with you it's different, the first time it happened he went to apologise to you. jirou once told him he should try and apologise if he realised he did it to strangers afterwards- especially now that he's a pro hero.
so he goes to stammer out an apology after realising he spoke to you uninterrupted about all might's golden age for five minutes and you tilt your head and giggle at him. izuku draws in a breath. "why are you apologising deku? i really liked hearing you speak. what about his other ages?"
izuku felt like he was malfunctioning, "what?"
you bite your lip to stop yourself from giggling again. who knew pro hero deku is so cute? "like the silver age and the bronze age? are those all the ages or is there like a platinum age too?" izuku grins, you're so interested in what he has to say he can't help it. "wait was is all might's quirk again? he's like strong right? that's his quirk."
izuku pauses for a second before barking out a laugh. you pout and glare at him feigned annoyance. 'she's so adorable and ditzy. i need to speak to her again.'
you constantly praise him, not just for hero work either, and ever single time it makes his entire face red. it doesn't matter that you've been dating for four years now and izuku's brought an engagement ring, he still gets flustered with all the compliments.
people compliment him all the time, it comes with the job, but when you do it it means so much more. " 'zuku you're so brave!" "i don't understand this at all izuku, can you explain it too me? you're the smartest person i know." "you're so pretty." "your hair is so soft." "you're the best hero ever!"
a light sheen of sweat covers your forehead after being manhandled by your boyfriend into the cowgirl position, he loves holding onto your love handles and moving you up and down on his cock, with each bounce your body jiggles. you'll lay in bed with your face buried in his chest as you trace the scars on his arms with your fingertips lightly, "you're so strong izuku." you turn to face him and your chubby cheeks lift as you smile. "i'm so proud of you." his heart skips a beat. he's never loved anyone more than he loves you.
izuku gets possessive of you, he doesn't like people touching you. you're his. before you he never thought he would be jealous or possessive but then you came into his life and he nearly broke the glass of champagne he was holding when he saw todoroki talk to you. he knows todoroki doesn't like you like that, he's liked yaoyorozu since ua but he was too close to you and izuku hated it. his legs moved before he could think, walking up to you both with a forced smile on his face. he wraps his arm around your soft waist, tightly, and kisses your forehead. you smile sweetly at him and lean into his body. izuku brought you home earlier than you thought he would that night, holding onto your thick thigh with one hand while his other hand is on the steering wheel, driving you both home.
his jealous nature was cemented a week after when he saw kaminari talking to you. not just talking to you- flirting with you. if izuku was holding a glass like he was last time he most certainly would of smashed it in anger. you don't even realise what kaminari is doing and izuku knows you don't.
you listen to him talk intently and nod your head, you smile at him and laugh at his jokes. to some people they would think this would be you flirting back but you're not, you're just trying to be nice. kaminari has decided to talk to you and you want to be kind and listen to what he has to say and izuku has really admired that quality about you but right now he wishes you could pick up on the clear signs that kaminari is giving you.
izuku snaps when he sees kaminari look at your cleavage and glance at your body, his eyes lingering on your plush thighs. his voice is strained as he pulls you away from kaminari making some half-arsed, offhanded excuse as he takes you home immediately.
when he saves a small child and he gives them his award winning grin all he can think about afterwards is you. 'who are our kids going to look like? will they have my freckles? or maybe her hair? if they're half as cute as her they'll be the cutest kids ever.' he's already planning their bedrooms and his eyes drift to the baby clothes section at stores.
your boyfriend has the biggest breeding kink known to man and you get reminded of that as he folds your body into a mating press and groans deeply in your ear, "can't wait to see your soft body get softer puppy, promise i'll look after, you won't have to lift a finger." you loudly whine, grabbing hold of his large arms, every thrust causes a loud slapping sound with how wet you are. "you're gonna look so pretty puppy. i'm going to pump you full, make sure you don't spill any for me, just like the good girl you are."
izuku adores you and you feel exactly the same about him.
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suiana · 6 months ago
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(yandere! saw x gn! reader) (i actually haven't watched saw so idk how the game works 🤓☝️)
"and for your final challenge... you have to kiss me, now."
"aw hell nah, can you just kill me instead?"
"w-what?! no absolutely not!"
you watch as the male visibly twitches, freaking out on the spot as he faces the camera. he was literally panicking, gripping his microhone as you watch a bead of sweat drop down his forehead.
"no! it's either you kiss me, or you die! don't you understand?! you have to kiss me! it's like, the only option!"
"nah, i ain't kissing your clown looking ass. just kill me already dawg."
you remain calm, eyebrows raised as you tap your feet against the ground impatiently. there was no way in hell you were going to makeout with this man thing. he looked like a murder clown from 1900s with his black and white makeup and suit!
and even thoigh you thought you were freaky, there was no way you were going to kiss that doll turned man. nuh uh. that is downright insane, even if he does look hot. i mean, this guy killed people! led them to death games that none of them eould survive to begin with!
why?
cause he liked you, duh. the game was rigged apparently. you found that out from him when he sneaked around and tried holding a conversation with you. it was mostly just him talking though. flushed cheeks and stuttering and all. it would've been cute if he weren't a murderous doll.
"so? are you gonna kill me now? I'm actually not gonna kiss you."
"no! ugh! you're so stubborn! just kiss me already damn!"
he groans into the microphone, glaring at you down the cameras before he disappears momentarily, holding a big red button with the words 'do not push' underneath.
"if you don't kiss me now, i will press this button."
"what does it do?"
"make you do things. silly things. with me, of course."
you stare at him, silence filling the room. what the hell? you couldn't even get a chance to respond before he presses it and out came a chair which you were forced to sit down on.
"what the- a chair? you're gonna give me head?"
you stare up at the screen, only to realise that the oddly attractive doll-human had disappeared. damn it. so he really was going to get all up and physical with you huh?
you watch as he pops up from behind, a grin on his lips before he kneels down by your feet, face against your lap. he looked... weirdly calm and at peace for a doll that just led someone to their death a few hours ago. but you suppose it's because he's not human. well, fully at least.
"oh, so head it is-"
"no not head! what the heck?!"
the doll screeches, hands digging into the legs of the chair. he whines, throwing a small tantrum before his rosy cheeks get even rosier (if that was possible? and his eyes grow all wide. you raise an eyebrow at his silence, frowning slightly before yelping as he suddenly starts begging.
"ahem! do you want to be my lover? uh uh who said that?! okay okay, do you want to be my big sweaty alpha lover? WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?!"
what the hell?!
"uh..."
"i meant- do you want to be my sigma lover who will peg me- WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?!"
"please just kill me."
yeah, now death is sounding like the much better option than being the lover of this weird doll. hey! maybe smashing your head against the chair would work!
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chqnified · 2 years ago
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Coming to the realisation that "regular everyday people" don't question if they even have empathy and what that means.
#realising that I've never really felt empathy.#more so just known how to act. what should be said.#it's not that i don't care. i don't care. but it's more than that. i don't care in a sense i can't feel shit#but i care in a sense. i wouldn't want my girlfriend or best friend to be sad. for example.#it's more than i can explain.#if my relative died. i wouldn't feel anything. even if i was 'close' to them.#seeing my mother upset was sad. i didn't like she was upset. but i couldn't understand why she was feeling like that.#i only know by association that's how people feel towards those situations#time and time over things like it happen and part of me thinks. maybe if someone i really cared about died. i would feel that.#but would i?#someone i considered a gran. I'd known all my life. i didn't cry. never did any feeling set in.#when i passed exams. i didn't feel happiness. it was indifference#when I had my first breakup. i didn't cry. whilst my ex cried for weeks on end....#i feel shit. of course i do. but. it's more. feelings without aim? i don't know.#loneliness. depression. and all the alike if i haven't interacted with my favourite person for a day+#those are feelings. and i fucking feel them as if they've all been amplified#but do i feel love? this is my 3rd relationship. each and every time- it's like i don't have the ability to#or maybe i do. just not conventionally. maybe that's the catch.#whatever it is. I'm more and more convinced by the day. maybe there is truth in what I've been told by family and exfriends#i don't feel empathy.#I've just managed to mask my whole life...#i feel so much yet i feel so little.#vent tag
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helianthus-tarot · 21 days ago
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SELF: Your natural talent
Natural talent: Something that comes naturally to you, that you don't need to work on, except in situations where the talent is blocked by personal issues like insecurities.
I posted the extended version on my Patreon which includes your potential (other qualities that can flourish if you tap into them) and possible career for you ❤️ There are other 80+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon so definitely check it out!
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Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!
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PILE 1 
Natural talent: 10 of Swords, 9 of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Magician. 
Your natural talent is probably connected to the theme of your life. I think it’s your ability to transform your experiences, especially difficult experiences, into something more or something better. Most people learn from their mistakes, but some people may take several tries to learn the same lesson (as in, they keep experiencing the same thing over and over before the lesson actually gets through to them). But you learn quickly from your mistakes, because you probably have a tendency to think and analyse your mistakes (or things that happen in your life) to death. Which can be good and bad. You have an active mind; your mind can understand something in multiple different ways, in multiple different perspectives. If you don’t have a healthy control over this, it can lead to problems, especially health and emotional problems. 
You have a strong empathy, an ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes and to understand other people’s experiences. Partly because of your own personal experiences; these give you the perspective and ability to understand what people are struggling with and why. But another reason is that you just have that ability to understand people and their situations without having to experience those things yourself. I'm not just talking about caring for people, I’m talking about really understanding the layers in people’s problems; how different things lead to this terrible situation and why people with this kind of problem behave in a certain way.
Some of you may be into psychology; cognitive psychology, social psychology, positive psychology, or clinical psychology. I hate saying this because it sounds kinda shitty, but your pain and experiences are a part of your natural talent, or they’ve had a part in the development of your natural talent whether or not you realise it; it's like a curse and a gift at the same time, or a gift that blooms through a curse. Don't take this as me calling your difficult past experiences a curse tho. I mean, you can decide it yourself; I’m just trying to explain the message lol. 
The Magician can be about mixing different things together; so a lot of you are creative thinkers. You don’t have to be an artist, creative thinking does not only belong to artists. Creative thinking is closely related to resourcefulness and innovative thinking. You are naturally resourceful. While other people choose either A or B, you are out here having the ability to see how to combine A and B to get C.
You know how to use certain information, experience or knowledge to create something in your life, and I don’t think you need much advice or guidance to be able to do this. Some people really need to be led, like, they can’t really figure it out themselves or know where to begin. I’m not looking down on them, people have different strengths, I’m just describing the difference. You, however, know how to start, how to create things for yourself, where to go, what to do, what to have. There’s an independent energy to this, like someone who takes charge of their fate. You also have a natural talent in manifesting; some of you could find this ability a bit blocked, but you can manifest very easily if you put your mind to it and stay determined. 
EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What is your potential? What qualities can flourish if you put effort into them? 😳 And what career paths should you consider? 🤔📝 There are also other 80+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon, do check it out!
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PILE 2 
Natural talent: Knight of Pentacles Rx (The High Priestess), 4 of Cups (The Chariot), King of Wands, Knight of Swords. 
You have the ability and strength to be yourself, to do what you want, to think what you think. Some people wait to be told what to do and who to be, but you aren’t really like that. I’m not looking down on those people, people have different strengths, I’m just highlighting the difference. You have a strong independent, bold energy, and this comes naturally to you, like someone who can’t help but be who they are and say what they believe in. You naturally know what you want, what your beliefs are, what you want next, and so on. You feel the pull or have the desire to leave a legacy in this world, to express your vision, to see your vision unfold and to make impacts on your surroundings. Like the previous pile, you may be good at manifesting, you can manifest what you want, especially by envisioning / visualising it.  
You are inspirational; your words and actions are, the way you go after your goals. For some of you, maybe you don’t actively try to be this way, but it still happens, when people look at you, they feel challenged, inspired, and motivated. Some of them may feel threatened or offended though, but if you aren’t unkind towards them then... that’s their issue to solve, really, it’s not your problem. You have a natural talent for leadership. A lot of you may often find yourself being chosen as a leader, or you prefer leadership role, or at least you prefer to be able to do your own thing and make your vision happen (good leaders are usually independent people who have the boldness to believe in their own ideas and don’t mind to assert those).
You are a visionary, some people have to actively learn visionary thinking, but it comes naturally to you. You can see the big picture easily, you can imagine how things may happen, or what something may lead to, you can see the potential in things around you, the opportunities, the possibilities. You have a critical mind too, so you probably have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, because you can see their potentials. 
You are passionate and intuitive. Passion and intuition can be the drives or the sources of energy that’s needed to take actions. Some people have to search for this externally, they need other people to motivate them. You don’t, you have a lot of that in you. You are the type of person who can motivate yourself and stay determined through beliefs alone. So your passion and intuition help you stand strong in your conviction, which takes guts and confidence to do.
Those also make you ambitious and daring. You don’t really doubt yourself, and even when you do, emotional hangups, pessimism don’t really have much power to stop you from pursuing what you want once you have decided that you want what you want. You have a stubborn streak that can help you push through obstacles. However, you do rely more on your instinct than careful, methodical actions. Some of you can be prone to impatience and make quick judgments, so just be careful with that. I mean, you have a strong intuition, so you are probably right in many cases but at the end of the day you are still human so mistakes can happen.  
EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What is your potential? What qualities can flourish if you put effort into them? 😳 And what career paths should you consider? 🤔📝 There are also other 80+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon, do check it out!
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PILE 3 
Natural talent: Knight of Pentacles Rx, The Moon Rx (2 of Swords), The Chariot Rx, Knight of Swords (Page of Pentacles Rx).  
For many of you, this talent may be blocked, or you may not have been very productive with it, as in, you don’t really use it to its full potential. This talent is related to your mental energy; so it’s likely that you are smart, mentally sharp, you have a lot of opinions. You have the ability to lay things out in the open (a subject or a topic or a problem) making it clear for other people to understand.
Some of you are quick on your feet, you think fast, you learn fast, you see opportunities, you notice problems and can come out with solutions to those problems, you see ways to break limits; I'm talking about being able to think outside the box and being innovative. But it feels like this talent just stays in your head, as in, you don’t really share it? Or you don’t really do anything much with the insights that you have, or the opinions and ideas that you have. Some of you share those things, but you don’t practice what you say. It does make you seem knowledgeable and like an expert though (when you express your opinions and thoughts). 
But with all these reversals it feels like the cards are telling you that you may want to try building something with your talent, properly act on it basically. Create something tangible with it, instead of just letting it stay in your head or in random conversations. I guess, it’s like, when someone has a lot of knowledge about a particular thing, they talk about it with their friends, but they don’t really ground it in something tangible; for example, they could start a business and make money from it but they don't, or they could start an actual class and teach people in a way that is more organised and productive, but they don’t; they just share it informally and not bother with properly recording and organising the info or not thinking much about how to grow the thing. Some of you may not share it at all. I wish I could get more details about what talent this is, but this pile is probably for a specific group of people who know what their talent is but haven’t done much about it.   
One of the main reasons for this blockage is probably your insecurities, or something you are avoiding; there’s something in you that is feeling conflicted about acting and grounding your talent and building something with it. And this internal conflict creates this back-and-forth energy and a lack of commitment. For some of you, it’s because you don’t trust your intuition or gut feeling about it. Which is interesting because I think you believe in your ideas/stance, you know it's good. You are also determined, or you could be a determined person if you tap into that determination.
For some of you, this sounds a bit odd to say but your determination is also a bit blocked. To unblock or tap into your own determination and ability to stay committed to your pursuit, you may want to try placing your need for security and need for assurance/certainty on the fact that regardless of your concerns about your talent or what you’re doing, believe that effort and hard work will never betray you. Many of you are also aware of how to solve your blockages here, you understand human psychology or your own psyche, but you haven’t properly, consistently acted on that understanding for yourself.   
EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What is your potential? What qualities can flourish if you put effort into them? 😳 And what career paths should you consider? 🤔📝 There are also other 80+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon, do check it out!
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PILE 4 
Natural talent: 5 of Wands, The Magician Rx, 4 of Pentacles (The Lovers), The Star. 
I wonder if some of you have recently questioned your ability, especially your ability to make things happen. Because when I took clarifications for The Magician in reverse, the cards that came out were mostly quite heavy. And the reversal doesn’t quite fit with the rest of the cards in this spread. So it’s either you have recently doubted yourself, are currently doubting yourself, OR this is a quality (i.e. being able to make things happen) that you may feel a bit blocked in yourself; like you can’t seem to manifest what you want, to produce/create what you want, to think outside the box, to do something more. 
You have the talent for it though, I don’t know why it’s a bit blocked but sometimes it’s not you, it’s your environment or it’s life itself, sometimes it’s just timing. There’s probably nothing wrong with your ability and what you have been doing. Maybe going out or leaving the house can help the energy flow. This is like a talented writer experiencing a writer block; it doesn’t mean they are not talented. 
You have an eye for good investment; and I’m not just talking about financial investment, I’m talking about things or pursuits that can help you maintain, build and protect your stability. You know what’s good for you, what you need, what can make you a better person. This could be something like, knowing which skills to learn so you can maintain and build more stability in your life. Probably the type of person who puts effort into preparing an emergency saving, saving money in this bank, saving money in that bank, saving to buy land, paying attention to security features, this and that.
You also have the ability to see the big picture, the ability to find (or create) meanings and wisdom in your experiences that you then use to motivate yourself or to feel positively about your life. You have a spiritual outlook or a spiritual bent that actually helps you remain centred in yourself, retain your hope, be more resilient in the face of challenges. Inner knowing, a connection to the Universe. Some of you may know when to act, you feel the pull to do this and that, you can't explain why but when you look at the astrological transits, those can actually explain your behaviour. So it’s like, you are in tune with the Universe.  
You know when to flow and when to push and fight. You are competitive, or you have a knack for figuring out how to win a competition, or how best to compete, or how to be among the best in a competition. It doesn’t have to be about an official competition, like a tournament; it can be as simple as knowing how to work with the algorithm on the platform you choose to post your work, or knowing what makes something stand out in your field and how you can emulate that, being aware of what people are seeking and being able to give those things to people, etc – which all help you come out on top. That’s very specific so I’m not sure how many of you find that resonating. But yeah, it’s a unique ability I’d say.
A lot of you also enjoy challenges, you like things that keep levelling up and challenging you; this is advantageous because everything in life’s got challenges lol. Challenges can’t really deter you or stop you from acting if you have decided you want something. Some of you may take some time to recover from setbacks, but you often get up and try again.  
EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What is your potential? What qualities can flourish if you put effort into them? 😳 And what career paths should you consider? 🤔📝 There are also other 80+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon, do check it out!
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