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aleskie · 2 months ago

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CRASHED THE WEDDING | Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Max has always been good at winning races. But he's never been good at fighting for what matters most. When he receives an invitation to your wedding years after he makes a decision that ended your relationship for good, he's forced to confront everything he's been too afraid to face. His feelings. Your history. Everything that could have been if he'd only had the courage to reach for the stars.

Warnings: None. It's just a lil angsty at some points, but it's a happy ending!!!

The invitation feels like lead in Max’s hands, heavy and cold, a stark reminder of what could have been.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Y/N L/N and Vincent Astor.

He reads the words over and over, letting them blur in front of him, as though if he stared hard enough, they might shift, might reshape themselves into something less painful, something he could dismiss as a mistake. But no—this is real, a reality he’d rather ignore but can't.

The phone rings, a muffled vibration in his pocket, and he glances at it, prepared to let it go to voicemail. But then he sees his sister’s name, and he hesitates before answering.

“Did you get the invitation?” she asks, her voice tentative, soft, as if trying to cushion a blow she knows he’s already felt.

“Yeah,” he replies, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, "Got it this morning. You?"

“Just now.” Her voice dips, caught somewhere between sympathy and a kind of shared grief. Through the line, he can hear the background chaos of her home: his nephews yelling, the clatter of something being dropped, laughter spilling over. The sounds feel like another world, one he’s distant from—a place full of warmth and distraction, the kind of comfort he could have used right now.

He can't help but chuckle, a brief smile breaking through despite everything. “They sound wilder than usual today.”

“Oh, you know,” she says, her voice lightening, “They’re boys being boys. Always testing my patience.”

A pause lingers, stretching between them as both try to find words they don’t really want to say.

“Are you going?” she asks, pulling him back, “I mean, I am. So are Mom and Dad. They already booked their flights.”

Max pauses, absorbing that information, the weight of it settling alongside the invitation in his hands.

“I don’t know.” He runs a hand through his hair and rereads the invitation. Somewhere in his mind he thinks that it could have been his name next to yours on the invite. If things were different. If he’d had the courage to fight for you all those years ago. But he knows it’s too late for regrets. The past is locked away now, sealed off with the wedding invitation and all the decisions he can’t unmake.

“Well,” she says, her voice gentle, “For what it’s worth, I think she’d be happy to see you again. Despite everything.”

He closes his eyes, letting her words settle. Despite everything. Despite the years, despite the silence, despite his hesitations that had cost him so much. There’s a part of him that wants to see you, to step into the past just one more time. But then there’s another part—a larger, heavier part—that wants to let it all fade away, like an old, bittersweet dream.

“You think?” he murmurs, almost to himself.

“I know,” she says, her voice steady now, as if willing him to believe, "Whatever happens, Max, just remember: this isn't the end of everything. Sometimes…sometimes it's just a chapter. It doesn't mean the whole story."

Her words sink in, lingering long after the call ends. Alone again, Max stares at the invitation, the names on it merging, blurring. Somewhere in that haze, he tries to find the courage to decide—whether to let the past lie or step forward and face it one last time.

Like most things in his life, Max first experiences you at the tracks.

He’s ten years old and has just won a race. His helmet’s still warm, and his heart is racing almost as much as it had on the course. But he knows it wasn’t perfect—he’d made a mistake, a sharp turn taken too quickly, nearly spinning him off the track. His dad is bound to mention it, and Max braces himself as he heads toward where the parents gather after races, moving slower than usual, almost savoring his last moments before the inevitable lecture.

But instead of the expected scolding, he sees his dad smiling, an expression rare enough that it stops Max in his tracks. Standing beside his dad is a tall, older man in a tailored jacket, hands resting in his pockets with a casual confidence that only seems to come with money.

“Max,” his dad says, almost proudly, “This is Joseph. An old sponsor of mine.”

The man laughs, a deep, booming sound, the kind of laugh that fills the air and puts everyone at ease. “Oh, Jos, let’s drop the formalities, shall we?” He turns his gaze to Max and crouches slightly, just enough to meet Max’s eyes. “Call me Joe. I’m a friend of your dad’s. He talks a lot about you.”

“Hi,” Max says, shy under the attention but also intrigued. Friends of his dad usually felt more intimidating than this; Joe seemed…different, like someone who liked people.

“Ah!” Joe’s eyes dart around, searching for something—or someone. “Y/N!” he calls, spotting a figure in the crowd. “Come meet Max!”

And then, Max sees you.

You’re a little taller than him, like most girls his age are, but there’s something about you that stands out. You’re dressed in a soft blue dress, hugging a worn lion plush tightly to your chest. There’s a small nervousness about you, like you don’t belong here but you’re trying to play along, and somehow, he feels an instant bond in that.

You step out from behind your dad’s leg and make eye contact with him, a hesitant smile spreading across your face. For a split second, Max forgets where he is, who he is, even the mistake he made on the track.

“Hello,” you say, your voice soft but clear, “I’m Y/N.”

He swallows, fighting down the nerves that seem to be scrambling for words. “Max,” he manages, his voice a little strangled, “I’m…Max.”

Your smile widens, and Max feels something shift in him, like a tiny door opening he hadn’t even known existed. At ten, he doesn’t have words for it, but later down the line, he’d call it love at first sight.

He’s thirteen when his dad brings him along to spend the summer in your family’s villa for the first time.

The car pulls up to the grand villa, white stone glistening against the lush greenery that surrounds the estate. Max peers out the window, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nerves twist in his stomach. He hasn’t seen you in years, not since that brief meeting at the racetrack. But he remembers your shy smile, the way you’d clung to that stuffed lion, your blue dress fluttering in the wind.

As he steps out of the car, your father, Joe, greets them warmly, his booming laughter and wide smile putting Max at ease. "Max, look at how you’ve grown! Gonna give us adults a run for our money soon, huh?" He claps Max on the shoulder and gestures toward the sprawling house, where Max can see the faintest silhouette of someone watching from an upstairs window.

“You remember Y/N, don’t you?” Joe says, a glint of humor in his eye as he leads them inside.

Max feels a flush of nerves, not wanting to seem too eager, but he nods. “Yeah, I think so,” he says, glancing around the grand entryway.

A few moments later, you’re there, standing at the top of the staircase, peering down with a curious look. You’ve changed, of course; he doesn’t recognize you at first. You’ve grown a little taller, but there’s something else—a quiet confidence in the way you look at him, assessing him with those bright, observant eyes.

You start down the staircase, and he swears the whole room goes silent, his nerves forgotten as he watches you approach.

“Hello, Max,” you say, offering a small, polite smile as if you’re not sure what to expect from him.

“Hey,” he replies, a little awkwardly, hoping he doesn’t look as out of place as he feels.

You hesitate, clutching a book in your hands, and then you smile, breaking the tension just slightly. “We have a pool out back. Do you like to swim?”

He nods. “Yeah, I mean, I’m not the best at it, but…yeah.”

“Cool,” you say simply, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “It’s quiet here. It’ll be nice to have someone else around.”

For the next few days, he watches you from a distance, the way you flit through the villa, always a little elusive, always with a book or sketchpad in your hands. You spend most of your time on the terrace, drawing or reading, occasionally looking up to watch him with a look he can’t quite read. Sometimes, when he walks through the hallways or lounges on the patio, he catches glimpses of you moving through the house like a shadow.

It isn’t until one warm afternoon that he finally gathers the courage to approach you.

You’re sitting on the stone steps near the pool, knees drawn to your chest as you sketch something on your pad, completely focused. He clears his throat, hoping not to startle you. You look up, and he nods toward the sketchpad.

“Can I see what you’re drawing?” he asks.

You glance down at the sketch, then back at him, looking almost embarrassed. “It’s just…a bird,” you say with a small shrug, turning the pad to show him.

It’s beautiful—far more detailed than he expected. The wings are outstretched, frozen mid-flight, and he can almost feel the energy in each stroke.

“Wow,” he says, genuinely impressed, “It’s beautiful.”

You duck your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Thanks,” you mumble, then shift slightly, “Do you draw?”

“Not really. I mean, I think art is cool, but…I’m not very good at it,” he admits.

“That’s okay,” you say, meeting his eyes for a brief, intense second before looking back at the sketch. “You don’t always have to be good at things.”

You say it like you think he needs to hear it. And maybe he does. He thinks that’s what draws him to you, the way you always seem to know what’s going on, silently observing before you make your move.

He realizes he doesn’t feel awkward around you, not really. You’re both quiet in your own ways, but somehow, it feels easy to just sit here, letting the afternoon sun sink lower as you both watch the light dance across the pool.

And in that silence, he senses the beginning of something—small, unspoken, something that makes him look forward to the rest of the summer.

The two of you spend the rest of the summer clinging to each other, perhaps as a way of survival, being the only kids in the villa. But for Max, it becomes more than just a way to pass the time. It’s an opportunity to get closer to you—an unexpected chance to find something that feels real in a world of adults and privilege and things he doesn’t quite understand yet.

You take him to the woods behind the villa, leading him along winding trails and sharing your knowledge about the different plants and flowers you’ve learned to recognize. You talk his ear off about the flora in the area, your voice steady and confident as you explain the different species, and Max listens, captivated by the way you can make something as simple as a flower seem so important.

In return, he tells you about all his pets, the quirky fish in the aquarium, the lazy cat that never gets off the windowsill, the hyperactive dog that chews through shoes like it’s a hobby. He imagines the woods would be a terrible place for them, but you both debate how likely they'd be to survive out there. Your laughter echoes through the trees, a sound so pure and light that Max can’t help but treasure it.

You hang out by the pool, your sketchpad never far from your side. Max watches you draw, completely entranced by the way your hands move over the page, capturing the world with such precision. Sometimes you ask him to strike poses for your drawings, telling him it’ll help with practice, though Max suspects you just find the weirdest poses you can think of just to make him laugh. And laugh he does, usually awkwardly, but always in a way that makes the air feel warmer, easier.

You take him to the lake one afternoon, teaching him about the different fish that swim beneath the surface. He listens intently, trying his best to absorb everything you say, but when it’s his turn to share, he struggles to find a topic. So, he tells you about the different ways his mom cooks fish—nothing impressive, but it’s something, at least. You laugh. Though it’s not in a way that makes fun of him. It’s a sound so carefree and beautiful that Max can’t help but feel like he’s won something, though he doesn’t quite know what.

At night, when the villa is quiet and the world seems still, you sneak into his room, moving with the same grace and elusiveness that you always carry during the day, and you take him to a small, hidden room with access to the roof, and together you sit on the cool stone, gazing up at the stars.

“The stars are nice,” you murmur, your gaze fixed on the glittering sea above. “They make everything seem so small.”

Max isn’t really watching the stars. He’s watching you, captivated by the way your face glows under the moonlight, by the way your words drift into the night like they belong to the stars themselves. He doesn’t understand why it’s so easy to look at you, and yet so hard to understand what you’re thinking.

“I think I want to be an astronomer when I grow up,” you say suddenly, your eyes shifting to meet his, “I wanna write about the stars—where they come from, why they’re there in the sky.”

Max nods, but his words feel clumsy and out of place. He doesn’t know much about stars, and even less about what you’ve just said, but he doesn’t need to.

“That sounds cool,” he says, his voice a little quieter than he meant it to be, “You can even draw the planets…put your art skills to use.”

In the silence that follows, Max can’t help but feel the weight of it—the space between you both, the gap that somehow always feels wider than it is. He’s not sure what he’s meant to do with the way his chest tightens when you’re near, or the way his thoughts scatter when you speak. You might just be the first person that’s been able to shut him up.

He still can’t read you, still can’t quite decipher what’s going on behind your eyes. But God, he wants to.

He wants to know you more than this summer will allow him to. He wants to know the things you keep hidden, the dreams you have that you don’t speak aloud. For a moment, he lets himself imagine a future where he gets to be a part of that, where he’s not just watching you from the sidelines.

But for now, he’s content to sit there beside you, under the vast, endless sky.

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” you ask him, your voice casual but laced with curiosity.

Max doesn’t hesitate. “I’ll drive in Formula One,” he says, his words certain, as if the path ahead is already paved for him.

You look at him, unimpressed, and raise an eyebrow. “Is that what you want, or what your dad wants?”

The question hits him like a punch to the gut. It’s blunt, and Max is stunned by the simplicity of it. No one’s ever put it to him like that before. Everyone else has always seen the potential, the future that’s been laid out for him. But you—you—see him. And it’s more than a little disorienting.

He thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs. “It’s what I know.”

You nod, but your gaze is soft. “It doesn’t have to be,” you say, your smile gentle, reassuring, “We have so much time. You’ll figure it out.”

Max doesn’t respond right away, but your words settle in him, like a seed planted deep in the soil, waiting to take root.

After a beat, you look at him with a spark of mischief in your eyes. “But I’ll be there when you make it. I’ll try to make it to every race, so you have to do really well. You have to win everything.”

He can’t help but smile at how sure you are, how unshakable in your belief that his future is something worth rooting for. He likes that you’re not just thinking about the races, but about him, about his future. The idea that he’s a part of yours is something he hasn’t quite let himself acknowledge, but it feels like something real, something tangible.

Without thinking, he extends his pinky toward you. “I’ll win everything. I promise.”

Your smile widens, something brighter, something more pure than he’s ever seen, and you link your pinky with his. It’s a small gesture, but to Max, it feels monumental. The promise is a weightless thing, a thread tying the two of you together.

It’s the first of many promises he’ll make, but it’s the only one he hasn’t broken.

That summer gifts him with three things: time spent with you, your friendship, and—most importantly—your phone number.

The summer feels endless, stretching out like a road that Max is more than happy to walk with you. In the few short weeks you've spent together, you've become a constant in his life—more dependable than any of the things that came before. You make the dull moments feel full of possibility, even when nothing is happening. It’s as if you have this quiet magic, turning ordinary moments into something extraordinary just by being there.

He doesn’t want to leave.

No, he doesn’t want to leave you.

One afternoon, the day before he's supposed to leave, you both find yourselves by the lake again, the air still and warm, the water rippling lazily in the breeze. You’ve spent hours there, talking about everything and nothing, and somehow, you always circle back to the future—this elusive thing that neither of you can fully grasp, not at thirteen, not when everything still feels so wide open.

You’re sitting side by side at the dock, your legs dangling over the edge, your feet brushing the water as you look out over the lake. The sun is beginning to dip low in the sky, painting the water with strokes of gold. It’s the perfect end to a perfect summer, and it makes the thought of leaving feel unbearable.

Then, without warning, you turn to him and ask for his phone. Max hands it over, confused, but you take it in stride, tapping a few digits into it with quick fingers.

“Here,” you say, handing it back to him with a grin. “Now we can talk all the time.”

Max takes the phone, feeling a sudden rush of excitement, mixed with something else—something deeper, something that makes his heart beat a little faster as he saves your number. He hovers his thumb over the screen, unsure of what to say. It’s just a phone number. Just a few digits on a screen. But somehow, it feels monumental. Like crossing a line that’s only been drawn in the sand until now.

You nudge him gently, a playful look in your eyes. “Go ahead,” you tease. “Send me a text. I promise I won’t bite.”

He smiles at that, feeling a little shy suddenly. After all, it’s just a message, just a casual note between friends. But it feels like a step forward. A bridge between the two of you, no longer just the endless days of summer, but something more—something that could last.

Max types out his first message, his fingers a little hesitant as he starts the sentence.

Maxhey, it’s max. thanks for the cool summer :D

He presses send, his heart racing slightly as the words leave his phone.

Your response comes almost too quickly to be real, even though you’re right next to him. It’s as if the message was waiting on the other side of the screen, just waiting for him to type those first words.

Y/N Of course! Thank you for spending it with me :DDD It would have been soooo boring without you!

Max feels a grin tug at his lips, the warmth of your words filling the space between you both, and he realizes—this is just the beginning. Even though summer is ending, and everything about this place feels like it’s about to slip away, something has shifted. He holds the phone in his hand, knowing that this connection, this friendship, is something that will stay with him far beyond the villa, beyond the lake, beyond the months to come.

It’s just a few digits. But to Max, it’s everything.

The messages come and go at first, fleeting moments scattered throughout the day, each one a brief connection that feels more significant than it should. You send him pictures of the sketches you’re working on, and he responds with a blurry shot of his dinner, laughing at how terrible it looks. You talk about your families, about the little things happening at home, and slowly, those texts begin to fill in the spaces where the silence used to be.

He starts texting you late at night, when he should be resting before the race just a few hours away. He knows you’re asleep, but he likes the thought of you waking up to his messages, likes knowing that he’ll be the first thing you see when you check your phone in the morning. He likes imagining that you’ll think of him, even if just for a moment, before your day really begins. And he looks forward to your replies—there’s something about the way you respond that makes him feel seen

One night, a message from you makes him smile as soon as he reads it.

Y/N I think I’ll be asking for a telescope for my birthday. It’ll be perfect for next summer! We can see the stars from sooooooooo close!!!

Max grins at the thought, picturing you sitting on the roof with a telescope between you, both of you gazing up at the stars just like you did that one night in the summer. His grin widens at the mention of next summer, at the idea that you want him with you again. The thought feels natural, almost inevitable. It feels...real.

Max it’ll be great! we can bring snacks on the roof and you can tell me about the different stars !

Sometimes, your message threads are full of lighthearted memes, just silly things to make each other laugh. Other times, they’re more thoughtful, more serious.

Y/N Isn’t it kind of sad how the stars are just, like, out of reach? Like, they seem so close, but they’re so out of reach.

Max it’s still nice to know they’re out there. like, you look at them and you know you’re not alone ://

Neither of you reply immediately. But then, every now and then, your schedules collide, and you end up talking for hours. It doesn’t matter that the messages come at odd hours, or that the conversation takes unexpected turns—sometimes, the silence between them feels like its own conversation, a shared understanding that doesn’t need words. It feels like a memory waiting to be made, like everything that hasn’t been said yet, but will be, under the summer skies.

Somewhere along the way, Max realizes something without even noticing when it happened: your texts are no longer just words on a screen. They’ve become something more—pieces of something real, something tangible, something he can’t quite explain. They’ve become a thread that ties you to him, a connection that stretches beyond the distance.

And in those moments when he stops to think about it, he starts to believe that maybe, just maybe, the stars aren’t as far out of reach as he once thought.

The invitation sits on the bedside table like a weight, an anchor keeping him in place as Max paces the room. His empty suitcase lies open on the bed, a quiet reminder of the decision he still hasn’t made. Should he go? Should he leave you be? Why would you invite him? Why would you want him there on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

Why don’t you hate him?

Maybe that’s the real question he can’t stop circling back to. Why don’t you hate him enough to leave him out of this entirely? After everything?

There’s a small, dangerous part of him that thinks—maybe, just maybe—you still feel the same. He shuts that thought down immediately. You aren’t the same people you were back then. You’re older now, and wiser, maybe, though it doesn’t feel like it when his heart still races at the thought of you. The two of you aren’t nineteen anymore—but God, he wishes you were. He wishes he could go back, that he could do it all differently. That he could be braver.

He would’ve changed everything.

He would’ve given up everything—every championship, every trophy, every podium—to have you by his side. He’d settle for second place every year if it meant you’d have stayed. If it meant you were his and not—

He stops the thought before it can finish, dragging a hand through his hair as his eyes drift back to the invitation. It’s taunting him. A reminder of what he lost and what he’s still too afraid to face.

Max opens the closet, rifling through his clothes without any real focus. If he decides to go, what would he even bring? He wasn’t in a rush—there were still a few days left to RSVP—but the indecision gnawed at him. His usual jeans and t-shirts clearly wouldn’t cut it, so he shifts to the back of the closet, to the suits he rarely wears. His fingers pause on a familiar one—the classic black tuxedo you’d helped him pick out all those years ago. The memory flashes fast and sharp: your laughter as you adjusted his tie, the warmth of your hands smoothing the lapels, the way you’d looked at him like he was someone worth looking at.

He pulls his hand back like the fabric’s burned him.

There are other options. Safer ones. Ones that don’t feel so tied to you. But even those feel wrong somehow, like they don’t belong in a moment where you’re promising forever to someone else.

He thinks about calling his sister, half ready to ask for advice, but he stops himself. He knows exactly how that conversation would go. She’d convince him to go. She’d tell him it’s the right thing, the mature thing—and maybe it is. But he’s not ready.

He’s not ready to see you again.

Not if it means watching you end up in the arms of someone else.

He digs deep, pulling out every combination he can think of—shoes and watches included—before something catches his eye. A box, tucked away in the farthest corner of the closet. The design is intricate but worn, the edges faded like it’s been handled a thousand times and then forgotten. And it has been. He put it there for a reason, pushed it out of sight so it would stay out of mind.

But it calls to him now, quiet and insistent, pulling him closer until his hands are brushing against the lid and—before he can stop himself—he’s opening it.

The first thing he sees is you.

Not literally, but it may as well be. The box is filled with pieces of you, pieces of everything you’d given him over the years.

There are the little trinkets you brought back from your family trips—strange, whimsical things that you’d pressed into his hands with a grin, telling him they reminded you of him. He remembers the first time, the utter confusion he felt staring at a tiny wooden monkey carving. You’d laughed at his expression, and even though he didn’t get it, his heart had raced at the thought of you thinking of him.

He sets the monkey aside carefully, and there’s more. The crafts you made during those long, quiet days at the villa: a woven bookmark, a beaded bracelet, a tiny frame with delicate pressed flowers. He traces a finger over the petals, softened by time but still intact. He wonders if you kept the ones he made you—though his hadn’t been perfect like yours. His hands were clumsy with thread and beads, and his art never quite captured what he wanted them to. But they’d had his feelings in them, even if he never said it out loud.

And then there are your drawings.

Every single one you’d ever given him, carefully kept and hidden away like the fragile, precious things they are. Birds in flight. Trees bending in the wind. The stars you loved so much. Him. You.

He thinks his favorite is the one of him sitting on the villa’s roof, peering through your telescope with a look of quiet wonder on his face. Or maybe it’s the sketch of the night sky, dots and swirls of ink creating something so vast and beautiful it almost feels alive. Or maybe it’s the self-portrait you gave him, the one that captures you in a way no photograph ever could—the softness of your expression, the hint of a smile, the light in your eyes.

He remembers the day you gave it to him.

It was right before his first race in Formula 3. You’d slipped it into his hand when no one was looking, your fingers lingering just a little too long.

“So you don’t forget what I look like when you travel,” you’d said, trying for lightness but not quite managing it.

“Why would I forget?” he asked, genuinely confused. He could never forget you. He would never forget you. You were forever etched into him, someone as familiar as his own heartbeat.

“What if you get busy and we stop being friends?” Your voice was soft, your eyes darting everywhere but him. You’d sounded so small, so uncertain—and it hit him then, the fear in your words, the possibility that you’d already started to feel the distance that hadn’t yet formed.

“I could never stop being friends with you,” he said, the words sure and immediate. “You’re my best friend.”

And the smile you gave him…God, it’s still ingrained in his mind. It haunts him.

Because now, years later, he knows he’s the reason you stopped smiling at him.

He grips the paper a little too tightly, slightly smudging the ink. He lets out a dry chuckle.

He keeps ruining you.

Even now—years later, miles away—he still manages to leave marks on the things you gave him. Still leaving evidence of his carelessness. Of the way he could never quite hold on to you without hurting you in the process.

The drawing shakes in his hands, and he forces himself to set it down, smoothing the corner like it’ll erase the damage he’s done. It doesn’t, of course. It never does.

He sits on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The invitation stares at him from the bedside table, pristine and elegant, with your name in curling script next to someone else’s.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

It shouldn’t feel like the air’s been knocked out of him every time his eyes catch on those words. But it does. God, it does.

Why did you invite him? Why did you want him there? Why are you putting yourself through the pain of having him there?

Maybe it’s pity. You’d invited everyone else in his family, after all. It would have been strange to leave him behind.

Maybe you’re offering an olive branch—a final act of kindness before you leave him behind for good.

Or maybe—and this is the thought he’s afraid of, the one he keeps buried—maybe some small part of you still wants him. Maybe you’re hoping he’ll show up. Maybe you’re hoping he’ll…

No. He can’t let himself think like that.

He stands up abruptly, crossing the room before he can talk himself out of it. The invitation is cool and smooth between his fingers. He flips it open again, scanning the details he already knows by heart. The date. The venue. Your name.

His chest tightens.

He shouldn’t go.

He shouldn’t put himself through this—shouldn’t sit in the crowd and watch you promise forever to someone else. Shouldn’t watch you smile at someone the way you used to smile at him.

But then his eyes drift back to the open box on the bed. To the life you built together, piece by fragile piece. To the promises you made when you were too young to know how easily promises could break.

And suddenly, the idea of staying away feels so much worse.

He closes his eyes and breathes. He thinks about the way you looked that first summer, standing by the lake with the sun painting gold into your hair. He thinks about the sound of your laugh in the dark, your hand warm in his as you made him pinky swear on dreams you both believed you had endless time to chase.

He thinks about your voice over the phone after his first big win, giddy and proud, as if the victory belonged to both of you.

He thinks about all the things he never said.

Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it always was. But if there’s one thing he owes you—if there’s one thing he’s sure of—it’s that he can’t let you go without showing up one last time.

Even if it breaks him.

He sets the invitation down and reaches for his phone. The screen glows in the dim light, and his finger hovers over his sister’s name.

He takes a breath and presses call.

“I need help finding something to wear,” he says when she picks up. His voice is rough, but steady. “I’m going to the wedding.”

Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.

You’d chosen everything but your something blue.

The old necklace your fiancé had given you on your first anniversary, warm with memory and love. The new pair of shoes his mother had gifted you, delicate and perfect, still pristine in their box. A borrowed pair of earrings from your grandmother, their vintage shine whispering stories of the past. And…

You stare at your jewelry box. The golds and silvers and gems shimmer in the light, casting reflections that dance across your room—bright, elegant, easy choices. But your eyes settle on something far more understated. A slightly faded blue bracelet, its woven threads fraying just a little at the edges.

You hadn’t seen it in so long. You’d buried it deep in the box for a reason.

Because it hurt.

It hurt to see it and remember the boy who’d tied it around your wrist with a grin, so proud of the clumsy thing he’d made for you. It hurt to think of simpler times—of long summers at the villa, of lazy afternoons by the pool sketching him while he complained about the weird poses you made him do. Of midnight adventures on the roof, staring at the stars like you could reach out and touch them if you just wanted it badly enough.

You wanted to be an astronomer then. He’d wanted to race in Formula One.

Only one of you got what you wanted.

Your fingers brush against the bracelet, lifting it carefully as if it might crumble in your hands. The blue has faded a little over the years, but the knots are still tight—sturdy, despite everything. Despite time.

You wonder if he even remembers giving it to you.

You wonder if he kept the things you gave him, too. The pressed flowers, the sketches, the tiny trinkets you picked up from family trips because they reminded you of him.

You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to push the memories back into their quiet corner. But they come rushing in anyway—the way they always do when you think of him. You remember the way his eyes lit up when you talked about the stars, the way his voice softened when he promised you’d always be friends. You remember the way he used to text you before his races, even when you were countries apart—how it felt like you were still right there beside him.

You remember the day he stopped.

The bracelet trembles between your fingers. You shouldn’t wear it. You know that. It doesn’t belong in this new life you’re building. It doesn’t belong in the future you’re about to step into, with a man who loves you and sees you.

A man who chose you. A man who you know will keep on choosing you.

But still, you hold it close to your heart. Because there’s a small part of you—one you never quite managed to silence—that never stopped wondering. Never stopped hoping.

And maybe, just maybe, wearing it will feel like keeping a piece of the past with you. Even if it stays hidden beneath the sleeve of your dress.

Just like the feelings that still linger.

You close your eyes, the bracelet pressed tightly to your chest, and let yourself remember the day he gave it to you.

“I got news the other day,” he’d said with a grin, his brows furrowed in concentration as he fiddled with tiny beads, his fingers struggling to string them together. The thread kept slipping, the beads kept rolling away, but he didn’t seem to care. “I think you’ll be proud of me.”

“I’m always proud of you,” you said, popping a blueberry into your mouth as you lounged on the picnic blanket you’d set up together. The afternoon sun filtered through the trees, casting golden streaks across his face, and you watched him with a quiet kind of fondness you never quite managed to hide.

“This time it’s different. Better.”

You tilted your head, curiosity blooming in your chest.

“We got a call yesterday.” His smile broke wide and boyish—so full of joy that it was almost blinding. “They want me in Formula One.”

For a second, the words didn’t quite register. And then—

“Oh, Maxie!” You barely let him finish before you launched yourself at him, arms wrapping around his shoulders in a tight, breathless hug. “I’m so happy for you! This is everything you’ve ever wanted.”

You didn’t even think—didn’t hesitate—before pressing a quick, excited kiss to his cheek. It felt natural, instinctive, the kind of thing that happened when your heart was too full and there were no words big enough to hold your happiness for him.

But when you pulled back, both of you froze.

Your breath hitched. His eyes widened. And for one terrifying second, you thought maybe you’d ruined everything—that you’d crossed some invisible line you couldn’t step back from.

“I—” You opened your mouth, scrambling for an explanation, an apology—something to take the moment back before he decided he didn’t want to be near you anymore, before he decided you were too much, too—

He kissed your cheek.

It was light and quick—barely there—but it said everything you needed to hear.

The air shifted, the space between you suddenly too small and too charged, and he reached for your hand, his fingers warm and sure around yours. The silence that followed wasn’t awkward—it was heavy, thick with everything you were too scared to say out loud.

With his free hand, he kept working on the bracelet, the tiny beads slipping but eventually falling into place. When he finally tied it around your wrist, the knots were clumsy but tight, and the beads—small and delicate—shimmered a pale, translucent blue. The color reminded you of his eyes.

“I’m going to be busy,” he said, his voice soft but certain. “But I will always make time for you. I promise.”

He looked at you then—really looked at you—and you saw the truth of it in his face. In the way his hand tightened around yours. In the way his eyes softened like you were the most important thing in the world.

“You’re…everything.”

Your heart stumbled in your chest.

“Everything?” you whispered.

“I’m not good with words,” he admitted, his voice rough and a little uncertain. But then his hands found your face—gentle and steady—and the way he held you felt like a vow. “But that’s what you are to me. I want to give you everything. Everything I can give.”

Your eyes burned, and you placed your hands over his. “You’re enough.”

He chuckled softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek before he pulled back to fiddle with the bracelet again. “I’ll get you a better one soon,” he promised. “So keep this safe until then.”

You looked down at the simple, imperfect thing wrapped around your wrist, your heart so full it ached.

“This will always be my favorite, though,” you said.

And you meant it.

You still mean it.

Even after all these years. Even when he broke every promise he gave to you. Even when he stopped choosing you. Even when you stopped being his everything.

Maybe that’s why you invited him. Because a selfish, mean part of you wants him to see how happy you are—wants him to sit there and watch you promise forever to someone else. Or maybe it’s because you want to see him—because you want to ask how he’s been, want to hear his voice again, want to look into his eyes one more time and see if they still soften when they land on you.

You wonder if they’re still as intense as you remember. If they still light up with that quiet warmth, that gentle steadiness that always made you feel safe. But you push those thoughts away because they don’t matter anymore.

You’re getting married soon.

You like your fiancé. You like your life now.

You’ve finally—finally—healed from him.

You don’t love him anymore. You don’t love him anymore. You don’t love him anymore.

…Right?

Max Verstappen is eighteen years old and high off of winning his first Formula One race when he kisses you for the first time.

A real kiss this time. Not the chaste pecks on the cheek he’d been giving you thus far. No, this time Max Verstappen had taken you to a private hallway at the Red Bull garage, cupped your face, and put his lips on yours.

Logically, he was sure it was just a few seconds. But when you kissed him back—soft and certain, like you’d been waiting for this just as long as he had—it felt like a forever that was finally in his reach. His heart pounded, not from the race this time, but from you. Always you.

Your lip gloss is slightly smudged when you pull away—strawberry-flavored, he realizes, as he runs his tongue over his lips. Your eyes are wide, your breaths deep, and he thinks, in that moment, that you are the most beautiful thing in the universe.

The universe—something he learned to love, to appreciate, because you loved it. Because you taught him the names of constellations on long summer nights, because you whispered stories about galaxies and planets as if they were fairy tales meant just for him.

Because you had learned to love and appreciate his world of racing, even when it took him away from you. Because, to him, you were like the stars—distant at times, maybe, but always there. Constant. Something that would never leave.

He exhales shakily, resting his forehead against your shoulder, letting himself sink into the warmth of you. “I always want you with me,” he murmurs, barely more than a breath, as if saying it too loudly might make it less true. “I love you.”

Your arms wrap around him, holding him tighter, anchoring him in place. Your voice is soft but certain, filled with all the things he’s been aching to hear.

“I love you too.”

Max Verstappen is nineteen when he has his first serious talk with your father. Joe has always been kind to him—always treated him like part of the family. Max liked that about him, how welcoming he was. But, most of all, he could relate to him when it came to you, when it came to loving you and cherishing you. He knew exactly what it felt like.

He remembers Joe being happy—ecstatic, even—when you’d told him the two of you were finally together.

“It’s about time!” Joe had laughed, giving Max a firm pat on the back. “I was wondering when you two were gonna realize it.”

Max remembered his cheeks flushing, his smile sheepish at the thought of everyone recognizing your feelings for each other long before the two of you had.

But the tone now was different. The mood was different.

They were sitting at a table by the pool, admiring the view, talking about life. Joe gave great advice and even better observations—kept everything real and blunt. It was something Max appreciated and realized you’d inherited as well.

“Max, my boy,” Joe let out a slow breath. “Please take care of her.”

Max looked at him. Really looked at him. And he saw something in Joe’s expression that wasn’t there before—a plea, a quiet desperation begging to be heard.

“She’s my baby girl.” Joe’s voice softened, but the weight of his words made Max’s chest ache.

“I’ll take care of her,” Max promised without hesitation.

“Can you?” Joe asked, his eyes steady and serious. He ran a hand through his graying hair. “You love her, Max. I can see that much. But sometimes that isn’t enough.”

“What do you—”

“I mean…” Joe interrupted gently, searching for the right words. “I mean that reaching your dreams at this age is an incredible feat. You worked hard, you took great care of your ambitions, and now you’re reaping the benefits. But, Max…what about the people left behind? What about Y/N who watches from the sidelines? How do you take care of her? How do you keep the balance?”

The air grew thick with tension, with questions Max didn’t know how to answer. The silence stretched between them.

“She’d never say anything,” Joe said after a moment, his voice quiet but firm. “She would never ask you to choose her over your life’s work.”

“But?” Max’s throat tightened.

“But you’re never there anymore.” Joe met his gaze, unflinching. “You rarely visit. You wait for her to come to you. You miss her events. Your phone calls are cut short. I’ve been told texting has gotten rarer. I—” Joe stopped himself, taking a long, steadying breath. “I want it to be you, Max. Because I know you. I know how much you love her. But I don’t want to keep asking the stars for you to just…be there for her.”

“I…” Max takes a breath, his voice quieter than before. “What do I do? I don’t know how to be better... how to make things better for her.”

Joe watches him for a long moment, his face soft with understanding. When he finally speaks, his words are gentle but steady. “That’s something you need to think about. I’m sure you’ll find a way. But Max… the question isn’t just how to make things better. It’s if you’re willing to.”

Max feels the weight of those words settle over him, heavy and suffocating. He wants to protest—to say, of course, he’s willing. But the truth sticks in his throat because there’s doubt creeping in, and he hates himself for it.

He just nods, even though his mind is spinning. He still doesn’t know what to do. But…he does wonder…does he even deserve you? Can he give you everything you want? Everything you deserve? He’s not sure anymore.

Max Verstappen is nineteen when he realizes he can no longer be enough for you.

“I think I want a summer wedding,” you tell him one day.

You’re lounging in his hotel room, binging on room service with the sound of a movie playing in the background. The sun’s setting outside, casting a warm, golden light over the room, and for a second, Max lets himself imagine it—imagine you in white, your hand in his, laughter in the air. He lets himself imagine the perfect proposal—at night, under the stars, or at a planetarium standing underneath the universe. He wonders what kind of ring you’d like, what kind of venues you’d look at, what kind of cake you’d choose.

The thought fills him with joy—it does. But there’s a certain tightness in his chest too, one he can’t quite explain.

“Summer’s nice,” he says, trying to keep his voice light.

“It is,” you agree, picking at the fries between you. “Warm, but not too warm. And the nights are perfect for stargazing.”

There it is again—stars. Your first love. The thing you’ve dreamed about since you were kids. And he wonders when the last time was that you even got to look at them. When the last time was that you weren’t stuck in a hotel room or an airport lounge, waiting for him.

“What about you?” you ask suddenly, eyes on him. “What kind of wedding do you want?”

He freezes. Because the truth is, he doesn’t know. He hasn’t thought about it—not because he doesn’t want it with you, he does—but because every day is a blur of circuits and races and media appearances. His life is fast-paced, and sometimes it feels like the only time he gets to slow down is when you’re there. But even then…even then, you’re always the one making time for him.

“I…” He hesitates, and the silence stretches just a little too long. Your smile falters, just a little.

“That’s okay,” you say softly, brushing it off like you always do. “We’ve got time.”

But do you? The question hangs heavy in his mind.

Later that night, when you’re asleep next to him, your hand resting against his chest, he stares at the ceiling and wonders what you see when you look at him. Does he still feel like your everything? Or is he just an anchor, keeping you tied to a life you never asked for?

He thinks about your father’s words. About the quiet way you always say, “It’s okay,” when plans fall through. About how the stars you used to love so much feel farther away than ever.

And for the first time, the thought crosses his mind: maybe loving you isn’t enough. Maybe the best thing he can do for you…is let you go.

Max Verstappen is nineteen when he loses you for good.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask, your voice trembling as tears well up in your eyes. The words barely come out, strangled and thin, and the ache in your chest tightens when you see the way he looks at you—like you’re already slipping through his fingers. “What did I do, Max?”

You’d come to see him at a race, though you weren’t staying for the actual race, just qualifying. You had school after all. And now here you are, in his hotel room just hours before your flight home, feeling the ground crumble beneath you.

“You didn’t do anything,” he says, his voice low and strained, chest tight with the weight of what he’s about to do. “You were perfect.”

“So, why?” The word cracks in the middle, and you can’t stop the way your hands start to shake.

“Because I can’t give you what you need.” His voice rises just a little, frustration and heartbreak bleeding through. He looks away when he says it, like he can’t bear to meet your eyes.

“You don’t get to tell me what I need, Max.” The desperation creeps in, your breath catching on the words. “I just need you. That’s enough for me.”

“But it shouldn’t be!” The words burst out of him, his hand raking through his hair, his face contorted with anguish. “You need someone who’s there for you. Someone you can count on to celebrate you, to show up for you. You deserve someone who will at least do the bare minimum—call you back, text you—who remembers your birthday without it being a last-minute text or a bouquet of flowers arriving days late.”

You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off, his voice gathering momentum.

“You need someone who isn’t me. Because I can’t be that for you.” His voice cracks on the last word, and it’s like the floor drops out beneath you.

“I just need you, Maxie.” The nickname slips out, soft and broken, and the tears start falling before you can stop them. You scrub at your face, trying to hold yourself together. “You’re busy, I get it. But I can make time for us. I’ll call more, visit more. I’ll—”

“Baby.” The word is so gentle it breaks you further. He steps forward, his thumb brushing the tears from your cheeks. “That’s my point. You sacrifice yourself for this. And it’s not worth it.”

“It’s everything!” Your voice rises, sharp and pleading. “You’re everything! You said I was your everything!”

The sight of you like this—sobbing and shattered—makes him want to take it all back. Every single word.

“Why are you doing this to me? Why don’t you want me anymore?” Your voice wavers, heavy with heartbreak.

He still wants you. He’ll always want you. But wanting you isn’t enough when it keeps hurting you.

“You promised me, Maxie,” you whisper, your voice breaking under the weight of it. “You promised you’d make time. You promised you’d always be with me. You promised to stay.” The sob builds in your chest, raw and ragged. “So fucking stay.”

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. It’s all he can manage to say. It’s all he can think of saying.

In the silence that follows, you swallow your tears and move to grab your bags.

“Baby—”

“Don’t.” You glare at him, the fire in your eyes cutting through the pain. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.” You take a deep breath, turning to face him fully. Your face is flushed, and he can see the marks left by the tears. “When I walk out that door, we’re over. For good. No second chances. You don’t get to call me. You don’t get to text. If you see me on the street, you don’t have any fucking right to talk to me.”

He stands frozen, the weight of your words sinking in, but before he can even think of how to respond, you’re moving again—zipping up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder.

“Don’t do this,” he whispers, his voice cracking.

But you don’t even look at him when you say it.

“You already did.”

The door closes behind you with a final, hollow click.

And as the silence of the empty room wraps around him, the regret comes fast and hard. It knocks the breath out of him, leaves his chest aching like he’s just been hit. He sinks down onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and for the first time in a long time, Max Verstappen breaks.

He reaches for his phone before he even knows what he’s doing—his thumb hovering over your name. But he remembers your words, the sharp edge of them, and his hand falls away.

He’s made his choice.

And now he has to live with it.

Weddings are supposed to be the best day of your life, something special to cherish and keep in your heart. Weddings are also notorious for the stress they bring, for the storm that comes before the perfection of the day. You expected to crash out, to crumble under the weight of it all. But you didn’t. Instead, all you felt was… nothing. A hollow, quiet nothingness that settled deep inside your chest.

It was your wedding day. And you felt nothing.

You wanted to say that the sight of yourself in the mirror showed the image of a glowing woman, excited for her big day. And in some ways, it did. Your make-up was flawless, the dress fit perfectly, the accessories were dainty and meaningful. Every decision you’d carefully made and poured over in the year you’d spent planning this event had come together exactly how you wanted it.

So why did everything feel so empty? Why did you look so… distant? So detached?

The woman in the mirror looked like you, but there was something missing. The spark. The light you used to have when you dreamed of days like this. You tilted your head, studying the reflection—searching for something, anything—but you came up empty. And the longer you stared, the tighter your throat felt, the harder it was to breathe.

A soft knock on the door pulls you from your spiraling thoughts.

“Wow,” a familiar voice says, warm and full of love. Your father peeks his head inside, his eyes lighting up when he sees you. “I know we chose the dress together, but seeing it in this setting makes it even more wonderful.” He steps inside and shuts the door behind him. “You look beautiful, my darling.”

You smile—or at least, you try to. “Thanks, Dad.”

He takes a slow step closer, his eyes softening as they take you in. “I can’t believe my little girl is already getting married,” he says, his voice quiet and nostalgic. “Are you ready?”

You force another smile, one you’d perfected over the years of pretending that things were fine, that you were fine, that nothing bothered you. “Almost. Just need a moment.”

But your father knows you too well. He always has. His head tilts, his brows knit together as he studies you—just like he always did when something was off. “Is everything alright?”

You want to say yes, to brush it off and blame the nerves, the pressure, the overwhelming nature of the day. But the words won’t come. They stay stuck in your throat, heavy and unspoken, because you know the truth.

And the truth is scarier than any storm.

“I just…”

There’s so much you want to say. So much you want to admit—not just to him, but to yourself. But the truths you ache to speak sit heavy in your chest, tangled up with fear and doubt, and you’re not sure you’re ready to set them free.

“You don’t have to do this,” he says softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, his voice warm and steady, “Whatever you decide, I’m with you. If you aren’t sure—”

“I’m sure,” you interrupt, but your voice wavers, cracking under the weight of the lie. “I like what we’ve built together.”

And you do. You really do. You’ve enjoyed the life you’ve created with Vincent—your fiancé, your safe place. He’s kind and patient, steady in a way you’d once thought you needed after Max broke your heart in a way you still haven’t fully recovered from. Vincent has been yours, wholly and without hesitation. And you’ve tried to be his.

But when you think of forever…

The ache in your chest flares, and your fingers brush against the faded blue bracelet hidden beneath the delicate lace sleeve of your dress. It was reckless, sentimental—stupid, even—to wear it today. But when you’d reached for your “something blue,” nothing else had felt right. Nothing else had felt like…him.

Your heart twists, the ache deepening.

“Talk to me, hun,” your father urges, his voice gentle as he guides you to the couch in your changing area. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whisper, your eyes glassy with unshed tears, “But I know I have to.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I need to stop not seeing things through,” you say, voice thick with emotion. “For once in my life, I need to finish something I start. I need to prove I can.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you know that’s not always true.” His hand finds yours, warm and familiar, and he brushes away a tear that’s slipped free. “You don’t have to torture yourself for the sake of accomplishing something.”

“But I’ve let so many things slip away,” you confess, the words pouring out before you can stop them. “I wanted to be an astronomer—remember that? I worked so hard, I was on that path, and then I just…let it go.”

“And look at what you’ve made for yourself,” he counters gently, his smile soft and proud. “You’re a corporate force to be reckoned with. It may not be what you always expected, but you’ve built a life of success and grace. That’s not a failure at all.”

He pulls you closer, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. “We need to let go of things that hurt us, things that give us pain.” He takes your hand in his. “If we can do that, then we’re free. Then we can heal. Be happy. Love without fear. That’s what we all deserve, bub.”

You just nod. It feels like you’ll start bawling if you say anything. So you don’t, choosing to bask in the comforting silence instead. But he understands. Your dad always did. He always knew how to sit with your silence without trying to fix it, without pushing you to speak before you were ready. And for that, you were grateful.

“Is he here?” you ask after a moment, your voice soft, barely above a whisper.

“He’s here.” He nods, knowing exactly who you’re talking about.

The air shifts, heavier now, pressing down on you with the weight of things unsaid and years you could never quite get back. You take a deep breath, trying to ignore the way your heart races, how your palms grow damp, how your throat dries up. You shouldn’t want him here. But you do. God help you, you do.

“Do you want to see him?”

“I—” The word sticks in your throat as your mind spins. You think about what’s waiting for you outside—the vows, the promises, the life you’ve built with someone steady and kind. But then there’s him. Somewhere in the crowd, a ghost you’ve never quite been able to shake, a part of you that still aches in his absence. He taught you how to fall, and how to break into pieces. And now he’s here. At your wedding. And you don’t know what to make of it.

But you want to figure it out.

“Can you… Can you bring him here?”

Your dad studies you for a beat, the corners of his eyes softening. “You really wanna see him?”

“It’s time to let go, dad.”

He nods slowly, squeezing your hand. “Alright, bub. I’ll go get him.”

Max Verstappen is twenty-seven when he sees you again.

He arrives at the venue with his family, his mom and dad reuniting for the event, awkward as it is. His sister brings her husband, the two of them playing middleman for the parents. They find seats somewhere in the middle, though Max opts for one near the exit. Just in case everything gets to be too much to handle.

The air is thick with celebration, but it feels suffocating to him. Every smile, every laugh, every perfectly placed decoration makes his stomach twist. He shouldn’t be here. But he couldn’t stay away either. Not when it was you.

He sits quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself. The familiar ache he thought he’d buried long ago starts to creep back in. He can hear the hum of conversation around him, the soft music floating through the space, but it all feels distant—like he’s watching the world through glass.

“Max?”

The voice startles him, familiar and warm, and when he looks up, Joe is standing there. He looks just as Max remembers him—steady and kind, smiling gently, like he was still part of the family even after everything. Like Max hadn’t broken his daughter despite Joe’s words of caution all those years ago.

Max stands quickly, his heart pounding in his chest like a drum. He feels suddenly unsteady, like the ground beneath him is shifting.

Joe studies him for a long moment, and Max braces himself, half-expecting him to tell him to leave—to save them all the trouble. To spare you from whatever pain his presence might stir. But instead, Joe reaches out and pats Max on the shoulder. Firm and determined.

“She wants to see you,” he says, his voice gentle but his eyes filled with something Max can’t quite place. Hope, maybe. Or worry. Or both.

Max freezes, the words hitting him like a punch to the gut. “What?”

“She asked for you,” Joe repeats, his voice soft but sure. “Do you…do you want to see her?”

Every instinct in his body screams yes. But fear—sharp and cold—holds him still. “I…I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Maybe it isn’t,” Joe says, watching him, patient and knowing, “But she asked for you.”

And that’s all it takes.

He nods, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. “Okay.”

Joe gestures for him to follow, and Max’s legs feel unsteady as they walk through the venue. Every step brings him closer to you, and with each one, the memories flood back—the laughter, the fights, the promises, the love. The heartbreak. The feel of your hand in his. The sound of your voice calling his name.

By the time they stop in front of a door, his palms are damp, his heart racing.

Joe turns to him, his voice soft and steady. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in there,” he says, “But whatever it is—just know that everything will fall into place.”

Max nods, his voice barely a whisper. “Thank you.”

Joe knocks gently on the door, his voice warm and calm. “Bub? He’s here.”

The door opens slowly, and Joe gives him a reassuring pat on the back before stepping away, leaving Max standing there with his heart in his throat. The soft click of the door shutting behind him feels deafening, and then—

There you are.

There’s a familiarity in the way the sight of you knocks the air out of his lungs—a feeling he hadn’t realized he missed until this very moment. You stand there in your wedding dress, the delicate lace brushing against your skin, embroidered flowers cascading down the train like something out of a dream. The soft glow of the room casts a gentle light on you, making you look ethereal.

But there are changes, too—subtle, quiet things that hit him just as hard. The tiredness around your eyes, the way your shoulders hold a weight they never used to, the reserved grace in the way you carry yourself. And yet, despite all of it, you’re still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Just as beautiful as the day he lost you.

And the vulnerability of standing here, of seeing you like this when you’re about to belong to someone else—it hurts. It hurts in a way he isn’t sure he’ll ever recover from.

“Hi,” you say, your voice soft and tentative. It’s the first word you’ve said to him in years.

“Hey,” he manages, his voice rougher than he means for it to be.

And then there’s silence. The kind of silence that isn’t empty—it's heavy and full of everything unsaid, everything they’ve both carried for so long. The weight of it settles between them, and neither one seems to know how to break it.

He looks at you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, and maybe you look at him the same way—like you’re seeing a ghost. But neither of you moves, and the silence stretches on, thick and aching.

“You look beautiful,” he says after a beat.

You smile and turn slightly—as much as you can with a heavy dress anyway. “You think so?”

“I mean, you’re right in front of me.” He smiles, taking a tentative step forward. “I only said what I saw.”

Your eyes soften, but there’s a guardedness there too. You let the silence stretch between you, the weight of unspoken things filling the space. “Thanks for coming,” you say after a moment, your voice quieter.

His breath hitches. “You sent me the invite.” He looks you in the eyes for the first time in years. “Why?”

You break the contact and stare at the ground, the lace of your dress brushing against the floor. “I don’t know,” you whisper. But that’s not entirely true. You know why—you just aren’t sure you’re ready to say it.

Max watches you, the way your fingers twist together, the way your shoulders tense like you’re holding something back. And he can’t help himself.

“Is it because you wanted me to see this?” he asks, his voice soft but steady. “To see how happy you are without me?”

You blink up at him, startled. “No. That’s…that’s not just it.”

“Then what is it?” he presses, his voice low and urgent as he takes a step closer. The space between you feels too small, too charged. “Because I know why I’m here. We both know why I’m here.”

“Don’t,” your voice shakes, and it’s barely above a whisper. “Don’t say anything else.”

But he can’t stop. He never could when it came to you.

“Y/N, tell me I’m not wrong. Tell me you want me here. Tell me you miss me too. Despite everything. Despite how I hurt you.” His voice trembles, the pleas spilling out faster than he can contain them. “Y/N, all you need to do is say the word and—”

“I never pushed through with astronomy,” you interrupt, your words sudden and sharp.

He freezes, confusion flickering across his face. “What?”

“I switched majors. Went into corporate after graduation.” Your voice is calmer now, but there’s a weight behind every word, like they’re stones sinking to the bottom of your chest. “I wasn’t like you…I never became what I wanted to be.”

You take a step closer, your eyes never leaving his. “It wasn’t fun anymore. After what happened. I had no one to talk about it to. No one to watch the stars with. They didn’t seem as beautiful anymore.”

He inhales sharply, and the sound feels like a knife twisting in the air between you. God, he ruined it all for you.

“So, I wanted you to hurt,” you continue, your voice breaking. “I wanted to make you see me happy without you. You deserve that much.”

And he does. He knows he does.

“I needed you, Max.” The words come out raw, almost broken. “All I ever needed was you. And you left. You left after you promised me you wouldn’t, after you promised to give me all you could. You left after you made me fall in love with you!”

Tears stream down your face, and before you can pull away, his hands reach for you—gentle and familiar—as his thumbs brush the tears from your cheeks. He’s careful, so careful, like touching you too harshly might shatter you completely. And God, he hates that he caused this. Hates that even now, he’s still making you cry.

“You know what the worst part is?” your voice cracks.

He shakes his head, his throat too tight to speak.

“You ruined me for everyone else.” You let out a bitter, broken laugh. “You left after you made sure I could never feel the same kind of love for anyone else. And now I’m here marrying someone who makes me feel absolutely nothing.”

“Why then?” The word comes out like a breath, like he already knows the answer but can’t bring himself to accept it. “Why do this? Why marry him?”

“Because he’s nice. Safe.”

“That’s it?” Max’s voice rises, his frustration breaking through the surface. “You’re marrying him because he’s nice?”

“He chose me, Max.”

“Y/N, I could do that too!” The words are loud and desperate and aching.

“But you didn’t!” You pull away from him, and the loss of your warmth feels immediate and brutal. “That’s the point, Max, you didn’t!”

Your voice breaks, and you bring your hands to your head like you’re trying to hold yourself together. “And I’m so, so tired of not being someone’s first choice. My mom left, my dad had work, you chose your career. And, God, I just want to be someone’s first.”

Max takes a step closer, his voice soft but urgent, the weight of everything unsaid hanging between you. “I wasn’t good enough for you, Y/N. I didn’t deserve you anymore. Not after I kept on hurting you.”

His fingers brush against yours before he takes your hand fully, his grip warm and familiar. “I was afraid that you’d wake up one day and realize that you wanted someone better than me, someone who could actually be around. I didn’t want it to be too late for you. I didn’t want to hold you back.”

“You never held me back. I never needed anyone better,” you whisper, your voice cracking under the emotion that’s been building since the moment you saw him again. “I only ever wanted you.”

The weight of your words settles over him, and his thumb moves in soft circles over your knuckles. The touch is tentative, careful—like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. But you don’t. You never do.

And then his eyes catch something. A sliver of color peeking out from beneath the delicate lace of your sleeve. His breath catches as he lifts your wrist, his fingers brushing against the worn, faded blue of a familiar bracelet.

“You kept this?” His voice is barely above a whisper, his eyes locked onto the reminder of a love he thought he’d lost.

“I kept everything.” Your voice is soft, but there’s a quiet kind of fierceness in it. A truth you’ve never let go of.

A beat. “So did I.” His eyes flick up to yours. “Every drawing, every bookmark, every bracelet. I still have it all.”

The room feels smaller, the space between you shrinking with every second. He inches closer, his breath warm against your skin.

“Max,” you breathe, and there’s a tremble in your voice—a plea, a warning, a hope.

“I miss you,” he admits, his voice breaking. “I miss you every day. Every single day since I made you leave.” He presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist, soft and reverent. “If I could go back, I would. I’d fix every mistake I made. I’d risk every championship just to have you again.”

His hand moves to your face, cupping your cheek with the gentleness of someone terrified of breaking what’s already so fragile. His thumb grazes your skin, wiping away the tears you hadn’t even realized had fallen.

“I can’t go back,” he says, his voice rough with regret. “But I can tell you I miss you. And that I still want you. And I never stopped lov—”

“Max, please.” You rest your forehead against his shoulder, your body trembling. “Don’t say it unless you mean it. Don’t say it unless you’ll stay. I don’t think I can handle you leaving a second time. So, please.”

“Y/N.” He tilts your chin up, his eyes searching yours. “Tell me what you want to tell me. And I’ll tell you what I want to say. No regrets for either of us.”

Your breath shudders, and your eyes dart away before finally settling on his. “You hurt me, Max.”

“I did.” His voice is steady, but there’s a crack in it, the guilt bleeding through.

“I didn’t need perfect. I wanted you. I wanted us. And you walked away. You took that away from me.”

“I know,” he whispers, his forehead pressing softly against yours. “I’m so sorry.”

“And now I don’t know what to do.” Your voice breaks again, and the tears spill over once more.

He presses a kiss to your cheek—soft, tender, full of all the things he never got to say. “I love you,” he breathes against your skin, the words a gentle confession. “I love you.” Another kiss, this time to your forehead. “I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I can.”

“Max…” Your voice shakes, and there’s fear and hope and longing all wrapped into his name.

“Come with me,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear. “Don’t marry him. Come with me.”

Your heart pounds so hard it hurts, but for the first time in a long, long time—you feel something.

“Where do we go, Maxie?”

“Anywhere you want.”

Hope.

EPILOGUE

Max Verstappen is twenty-nine when the two of you elope.

It’s nothing extravagant—just the two of you, a quiet courthouse, and rings that fit just right. You wear a simple white dress, the fabric light and flowing around you like a second skin, and he’s in a crisp button-down and slacks, the sleeves rolled up just enough to hint at the easy intimacy of the day. And yet, despite the simplicity, it feels like the most perfect thing in the world. Because the only thing that matters is the way he looks at you when he says his vows—like you’re his whole world. Like you always have been.

The words come softly but with certainty, and his hands tremble just slightly as he slides the ring onto your finger. You squeeze his hand in reassurance, and the emotion in his eyes nearly undoes you. You exchange quiet promises and soft kisses, and when it’s done, when the judge finally pronounces you husband and wife, Max doesn’t hesitate. He lifts you off your feet and spins you around, his laughter ringing out into the afternoon air, joyful and unrestrained. And for the first time in a long time, you feel weightless.

The photographer you hired captures it all—the laughter, the stolen glances, the way his hands never stray far from yours. Outside the courthouse, the two of you pose in front of the steps, your head resting on his shoulder and his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. Each photo feels alive, like a memory in the making, every smile a testament to the love you fought so hard to find your way back to.

Max is thirty when you tell him he’s going to be a father.

You hadn’t planned it—not now, not yet. But when the two little lines appear on the test, you can’t stop the tears from falling. You sit there on the cold bathroom floor, the weight of the moment pressing down on you until you can hardly breathe. It’s fear and joy and disbelief all tangled up inside you, and you don’t know how to move, how to think—how to tell him.

You wait until late that evening, when the two of you are curled up on the couch, the soft hum of the TV filling the room with a comfortable stillness. Your heart pounds so hard you’re sure he can hear it. Your hands tremble as you reach for the tiny pair of baby shoes you bought that afternoon—the only thing you could think to get, a physical thing to make this real.

“Max,” you whisper, your voice uncertain. He turns to you, his brows knitting together when he sees the tears in your eyes. “I have something for you.”

You hold out the little shoes, and for a moment, he just stares at them. His eyes go wide, his breath catches—and then the realization dawns. “Are you—?” His voice breaks, and when you nod, his face lights up with a joy so pure it steals your breath away.

He’s holding you before you know it, his arms wrapping around you tight, his laughter soft and disbelieving. “We’re having a baby,” he whispers against your hair, the words thick with emotion. He pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes shining. “We’re having a baby.”

You nod, tears falling, and he kisses you—again and again—like he can’t get enough of this moment, like he’s afraid it’ll slip through his fingers if he lets go. “I love you,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours. “I love you so much. And I love them already. So much.”

And just like that, the fear fades. Because you know—no matter what comes next, he’ll be right by your side facing it with you.

Max is thirty-one when he tells you he’s retiring from Formula One.

It’s after the baby’s born, when he’s holding your daughter in his arms, her tiny fingers wrapped around one of his. There’s a softness in his eyes, a peace you hadn’t seen in him before—like the weight he’d been carrying for years had finally been set down.

You’re standing next to him on the terrace, the cool night air brushing against your skin, as he rocks your baby to sleep. His voice is low and soothing as he tells her about the stars above, pointing out constellations and weaving stories about the shapes they form.

He tells her about Andromeda and Orion, about how the light she sees traveled for thousands of years just to reach her eyes. He promises her that one day, when she’s older, he’ll take her to watch the stars properly. That they’ll lie on a blanket in the grass and map out the night sky together.

You just hug him from behind and bask in his scent, appreciating the calm and quiet the night brings—the three of you under an endless expanse of stars. The same stars that you used to watch together all those summers ago at the villa wishing for something you never thought you’d ever have.

“I’m done,” he says quietly after a moment.

You blink at him. “What?”

“I’m retiring,” he repeats, his voice steady. “I want to be here. For you. For her. I missed too much before. I don’t want to miss a second more.”

The words take a moment to settle, and your heart twists—not with fear, but with love, with gratitude for the man who once walked away and now refuses to leave.

“I don’t want you to regret it,” you say, your voice soft. “You’re still at the peak of your career and—”

“You didn’t regret it, did you?” he asks gently, his eyes finding yours. “Leaving with me that day?”

You move closer, placing a hand on his arm. “I would never.”

“I won’t regret this either.”

And just like that, the ache you didn’t even realize you were still carrying eases. Because he’s here. He stayed. He chose you. And every day since, he’s kept choosing you.

Above you, the stars twinkle—bright and infinite, like they’re bearing witness to the life you’ve built, to the love you’ve found again.

“I love you,” you whisper, brushing a kiss against his temple.

He smiles, looking down at the life you made together. “I love you more.

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fic #max verstappen #mv1 #mv33 #f1 fanfiction #f1 imagine #formula one #f1 x reader #✩ allie's writing ✩

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kpopfanfictrash · 4 days ago

Text

Clichés and Canapés (M)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Genre: best friends to lovers; fake dating; billionaire au

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader (f)

Word Count: 40K

Author's Note: Part of the In Bloom collaboration with @kithtaehyung, @yoonia, @syllviere, @leahsfavefics, @suga-kookiemonster, and @cybrsan. Unfortunately, this is so long it has to be posted in two parts; please interact with both!

Synopsis: After twenty years of friendship, you’d think you were used to Seokjin’s proposals by now. In the past he’s forced you to participate in skydiving, skinny dipping, and even staging a rescue from the local shelter. Seokjin has always had big ideas but this time, even he may have gone too far. Granted, break-ups are stressful, and Seokjin’s latest one up was bad. Really bad. As in, they-ended-things-in-December-and-now-she’s-dating-his-brother bad.

It almost makes sense then, when Seokjin asks you to come home with him for his parents' party. Almost makes sense when he says his family assumed you were dating, and he didn't correct them. What doesn’t make sense is the longer you fake things, the more you find yourself wondering if this was real all along.

Rating: 18+; explicit sexual content

Warnings (explicit content): oral (f. receiving), nipple play, delayed orgasms, sex w/out a condom, cum play, semi-public sex, light spanking, fingering, dirty talk, mention of voyeurism

Warnings (other): depictions of micro-aggressions, mentions of divorce (past tense), emotionally abusive/manipulative parents (side character)

Time is relative. A year can be both long and short, depending on which side you stand on. December is always a surprise, despite having lived through the months prior. The ‘you’ of today compared to the ‘you’ of last year always makes you feel ancient. The past year in particular packed more punches than most – some of them small, and some monumental enough to stop you in your tracks.

For example, this time last year – how is it already May? – you still worked in consulting, nimbly hanging from the top rung of the corporate later. But by the end of last summer, you had unceremoniously quit in a flurry of anger and paperwork. Last year had many difficulties but honestly, quitting wasn’t one of them.

No – one thing no one tells you in school is that all jobs kind of suck. There’s no one right answer, one right path. There are many careers you can enjoy – some of them taken by choice, others by happenstance and you’ll likely be good at more than one. Each one has a different toll, though. A different cost-benefit analysis, as you would have said last year.

You were good at consulting. There were many reasons you rose through the ranks. You always enjoyed a good challenge; enjoyed the thrill of being good at your job, but slowly realized work didn’t make you happy. Not when the cost was your free time and every ounce of value you saw in yourself.

Ambition is also a funny thing. Chasing a dream, even someone else’s, can be satisfying but eventually, you look down and notice the cracks in your life. Crevices between who you are and who you want to be, widening until the gap is unpardonable. The moment you notice is the moment you’re forced to make a decision.

For you, the decision was to quit.

God, it felt good to drop all the burdens. To leave your equipment with IT and stop caring about which projects were on track, which coworkers were slacking, and what the impact would be if certain laws passed. Petty concerns about petty people, all washed away by the sunlight outside.

The ‘you’ of ten years ago would have been embarrassed to call yourself a barista. The ‘you’ of ten years ago though, still believed in golden lies spun by corporations. The idea that if you worked hard enough, long enough – translation: made enough money – you would be happy. News flash: you weren’t. Or at least, not happy enough.

Working in a coffee shop has been fun. Enjoyable. Of course, there are rushes and harried customers and your feet hurt, but at the end of the day, you still have the energy left to be creative. That’s what matters to you.

Your friends have been saying as much to you for years. One friend in particular was convinced you needed to take a step back, but you rarely listened to Seokjin when it came to matters of work. With his upbringing, his family, it wasn’t like money was ever a concern to him, and –

“Y/N? Hellooo? Y/N!”

Jerking upright, you realize Jimin has been calling your name. Screwing the cap on the syrup, you glance over your shoulder.

Jimin leans against the counter at an angle which, frankly, defies gravity. One impeccable brow lifted, he watches with both arms folded over his apron.

Slowly, you set down the syrup. “How many times did you call my name?”

Jimin shakes his head. “At least three. I understood at first, but then I started worrying you were losing your hearing. You know, because of your age.”

“I’m three years older than you, Jimin. Not decrepit.”

“Right.” A deep sigh. “Thirty. And here I am, young and virile and still in my twenties.”

“Ugh,” you say, wrinkling your nose. “Please don’t ever say virile to me again. And you’re in your twenties for now,” you add. “You’ll be thirty someday.”

“Yes. In the far, far, far future.”

Despite his teasing, Jimin joins at the sink with an armful of bottles. He stacks them neatly on the counter, reaching to fill one with syrup.

The café is quiet on a Tuesday afternoon. A few patrons linger, typing on laptops with their over-ears on, but the morning and noon rush have come and gone. Until someone enters, there’s nothing to do but clean and prep for tomorrow. Reaching for the next canister, you realize Jimin is wearing a Look.

It’s a Look you’ve grown familiar with over the past month, since Jimin insists on having the same conversation.

“Oh, no,” you sigh.

“Oh, no – what?”

“Oh, no – why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Jimin widens his eyes, the picture of innocence.

“Like I just kicked a dog,” you grumble.

Someone glances up from their laptop, appalled, and your face heats, realizing they overheard between songs. Busying yourself, you turn around and place your back firmly to them.

Jimin grins. “W-ow, Y/N. Can’t your good friend – and roommate, might I add – look at you without an agenda? It’s like you’re so used to being alone, you push people away at the first hint of discomfort.”

You make a sputtering sound. “Okay, first off – ouch. Too real for a work conversation. And second, that is not what’s happening here.”

Even if Jimin does have a point, says a voice in your head. Although you met Jimin in college, the two of you only recently reconnected. You were in the same theatre group back then, overlapping your senior and his freshman year. When you needed a roommate, you posted on the alumni social media page and Jimin responded. Since then, you’ve become close friends – along with Jimin’s boyfriend, Hoseok, one of your favorite people.

Jimin has been watching you withdraw socially for the past year, although much of that, you’d argue, is for a valid reason.

“So, does that mean you’ve changed your mind about the cabin?” Jimin asks, resting his chin on his fist.

“No,” you say through gritted teeth. “It does not.”

“Come on.” Jimin slumps dramatically. “It’ll be so much fun! And a bunch of my friends are single. And hot.” He wiggles both brows. “Now that I’m dating Hoseok, I need to set you up with someone.”

Despite yourself, your lips twitch. Jimin has been trying to get you to join his college friend cabin trip. Although you like his friends, an entire week with them is out of the question. Every single one of them is Type B – seriously, all of them – and if you went, you know you’d be instantly relegated to the ‘mom’ role. Even with the hottest of people, that’s a hard no for you.

Jimin is right there with them, flying through life by the seat of his pants, whereas you plan for all contingencies. Like the time you went backpacking through Europe and all the trains were cancelled due to something mumbled hastily at you in Spanish. It was up to you to solve – something you did within the hour; a story Seokjin likes to tell people at parties.

Of course, the response at Seokjin’s family parties tends to be shock at having taken public transportation in the first place. Seokjin’s family are rich-rich. Like, funded-the-railroads rich. Have-statues-in-historic-downtowns rich. Wear-clothes-that-look-like-Goodwill-but-actually-cost-five-figures rich.

It’s been a long while since Seokjin has said anything in your presence though, since you haven’t joined his rich-people parties in months. In fact, the last time you saw Seokjin was at his birthday party last year.

Wincing at this, you return to Jimin.

Admittedly, he makes some good points. You haven’t dated someone in ages. Your former job took up most of your time, and when you did date, it was friends of co-workers or people you met through work. Since quitting, you’ve taken a step back from the dating pool. As nice as it is to be wined and dined, you haven’t felt the need to take on someone new.

Not with how messy your personal feelings already are.

Mostly, you’ve thrown yourself into the coffee shop and writing. Jimin has encouraged you to branch out and meet new people, but it’s been hard. Especially after everything that happened with Seokjin.

“Maybe,” you sigh, looking up.

Bzzz-zzzz. Your phone jolts on the counter, and you choose to ignore it.

Jimin’s face brightens. “Maybe? Yes! I’ll text the group and have them add you to the chat. They’re going to be so psyched to have another driver, Y/N – you won’t believe how slowly Max goes on the highway, and – okay, who has been texting you?” Jimin glares at your phone when it buzzes again. “That has to be the tenth text in a row.”

“Probably emails,” you say, reaching sideways. “I need to turn notifications off. Ever since that info leak last year, I get so much spam that–”

Unfortunately, the name on the screen stops you, mid-sentence. You do have emails, along with a text from your sister, but it’s the name at the top driving your current state of paralysis.

Seokjin – (1) unread text.

“What?” Jimin attempts to peer over your shoulder. “Who is it?”

“No one,” you blurt, yanking your phone away. “Nothing.”

Hovering over the trash can, you swipe sideways. Seokjin’s text fills the screen.

Seokjin: *emergency emoji* so, I have news… [3:11 PM]

Fear grips your chest, filling you with dread while you await the next text. For months, you’ve anticipated this message. Seokjin has finally proposed, and his girlfriend, Emilia, has accepted. Your best friend – if you can still call him that – is engaged. Fully taken. Off the market.

Of course, if Seokjin were still your best friend, you’d have no doubts regarding his text. You’d be elated, excited by the next stage in his life. You’d be happy for him, happy for Emilia, and eager at the prospect of an over-the-top wedding invite. Emilia’s family is as rich as Seokjin’s, after all.

Instead, you find yourself feeling – well. Not happy.

In an attempt at distraction, you read your sister’s text about what to get your mom for Mother’s Day. The two of you have combined gifts for years, but the burden usually falls on you. Something about your mom’s latest boyfriend rubs your sister the wrong way.

Another text flashes on top of your screen.

Seokjin: Emilia and I broke up [3:13 PM]

Your eyes widen.

Dimly, you realize this is a terrible way to receive information, but your fingers are already moving. Returning to Seokjin, you see he’s still typing. His ellipses pause, then start, then pause again. At last, a new message comes through.

Seokjin: well, we broke up a while ago but guess what haha [3:15 PM]

Seokjin: now she’s dating Jaesuk [3:15 PM]

Before you can recognize the foolishness of doing so, you gasp. Jimin thrusts himself over the top of the screen, blonde hair falling forward as he tries to read.

“Y/N,” he whines. “Come on! Tell me what’s happening – did Tom and Zendaya break up? Get engaged? Break up, then get engaged?”

Dazed, you shake your head. “It’s uh, Seokjin.”

Jimin pauses. “Seokjin?” Glancing upward, his brows furrow. “Your friend, Seokjin? The one who’s… you know,” he says, miming something with one hand.

“… sexually active?”

“No.” Jimin huffs. “Loaded! That was me, swiping my black card.”

“Oh. That was unclear. But yeah, Seokjin’s family is well-off.”

Jimin whistles and looks at the ceiling. “Well-off. That’s what the uber-rich say to make it sound like they’re still in touch with reality. This guy must be dripping money.”

You have no response to this, since Jimin isn’t wrong. Although Seokjin himself is an untenured professor, there’s no way he could afford his current apartment without his inheritance. No way he could have completed his PhD in four years without the luxury of not having to work. Not to mention he teaches at a university with one of the largest endowments in the country and a building donated by his great-grandfather.

Because Jimin is a more recent friend, he’s never met Seokjin. Seokjin and you didn’t go to college together – he attended the same university he teaches for now. Jimin knows who Seokjin is, though. Hard to be friends with you and not know who he is.

As the second Kim son, Seokjin escaped the gargantuan task of inheriting the family business. Mostly, Seokjin’s parents leave him alone to do what he wants. Jaesuk, Seokjin’s older brother, wasn’t as lucky.

Which takes you back to the text. Emilia is dating Jaesuk.

“Anyways,” you say. “Seokjin texted me something surprising. That’s all.”

Jimin clasps both hands together. “Oh?”

You feel your face heat. “Not like that, you idiot. He has a girlfriend. Or – well, he had a girlfriend. He just texted me that they ended things.”

“And?”

“And…” Against your better judgement, the words rush out, “Now, his ex-girlfriend is dating Seokjin’s older brother.”

“WHAT,” Jimin yells at the unfortunate moment a new customer enters.

Both your heads jerk sideways. Before Jimin can recover, you scoop up your phone and dart towards the back. “Gotta go,” you blurt in a split-second decision. “Can you greet that customer? I’m due for my break. Thanks, Jimin!” you call, pushing through the staff door.

Through the frosted window, you see Jimin fume, then paste on his best customer service smile. Exhaling lowly, you lock the door and collapse at the small, wooden table.

Your heart pounds in the silence, unnaturally loud. Placing your phone on the table, you stare at the wallpaper – a photo of the city skyline you took last fall. Before that it was a photo of you and Seokjin. Your screensaver has always been you and Seokjin, something you never questioned until last year. Last summer, to be precise.

“Get ahold of yourself,” you mutter.

Taking a deep breath, your fingers hover over his name. You press call before you can second-guess yourself, Seokjin’s name filling the screen. He answers almost immediately.

“Hello?”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Seokjin sounds out of breath, deeper than you remember. How unfair would it be for him to experience a second puberty burst. The first was torture enough for you as a teenager. Overnight, Seokjin transformed from your nerdy best friend to a soft-spoken, hilarious man the entire school wanted.

“… Y/N?”

Opening your eyes, you scoop up your phone and take it off speaker. “Oh, hey – yeah, it’s me.”

He chuckles. “I figured when I saw your name calling.”

“You never know.” Aimless, you pick at the lint of your apron. “Maybe I was in a tragic accident, and someone found my phone at the scene of the crime.”

“Does that mean I’m your emergency contact, Y/N? I’m touched.”

Your cheeks heat since yes, you’re not sure you ever changed that. What you say though, is, “Don’t get cocky. I have all my phone contacts listed as emergency contacts. I like to hedge my bets.”

He laughs, louder this time. “Hey, no judgement here. Pretty sure you’re still mine.”

Your fingers still on your apron. You shouldn’t be his contact – not after everything. Harshly, you stamp out the hope rising within you. Seokjin’s lack of foresight and planning shouldn’t be taken as anything but just that.

“Right.” You pause. “Sorry – is this a bad time? I should have texted back, but I’m at work, and thought it’d be easier to call…”

“You’re at work? Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –”

“I’m on a break, don’t worry about it.”

A long pause. At last, Seokjin sighs and the knot in your chest tightens. You can count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen him upset. Once when your parents were getting divorced, and you ignored his texts for a week. Another, when he and his college girlfriend, Lisa, broke up. Another when his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer (currently in remission). And then again, when your ex cheated on you with your supposed best friend senior year. Seokjin drove across state lines all night to be on your campus by morning.

He sounds upset now, too.

“Yeah.” Seokjin exhales. “You thought this conversation would be better in person, and as always, you were right, Y/N.”

The way he says your name sparks wistful familiarity. It also reminds you of a darkened hallway, whiskey on Seokjin’s breath and – you stop the memory in its tracks.

“What happened?” you press. “I just… damn, Seokjin. The last time I saw you and Emilia, the two of you seemed so, um… so…”

“Coupled?”

“I was going to say nauseating, but yeah.”

Seokjin barks out a laugh. “Way to kick a guy when he’s down, Y/N.”

“Sorry,” you say, but your lips twitch. “Although… I don’t mean to be rude, but… you don’t sound down? You sound… surprisingly chipper for a man who was cuckolded.”

The truth of this statement resonates within you. Seokjin sounded tired when he answered, but everything since has felt almost normal. Almost – because the elephant in the room has not gotten smaller.

The last time you spoke face-to-face was December.

“Whoa, whoa – hang on,” he sputters. “Who said anything about cuckolding?”

“Were you not? Le cuckold, as the French say?”

“Wait.” Seokjin sounds amused. “To be clear, which party is the cuckold? The guy who cheats or the guy cheated on? Also – why is there no name for the woman in this scenario?”

“Oh, there are plenty of names for the woman. They’re just not as fun, and heavily drenched in misogyny.”

“Right, right. The patriarchy, etc. – but seriously, Emilia didn’t cheat on me. Or she says she didn’t, and I’m inclined to agree.” He pauses. “I think.”

“You think?”

“I do believe her. But… well, even if she didn’t technically cheat… even if we broke up in December, then waited a respectable period of time and then they started dating – it still feels weird. Like, was she into him the entire time we dated? Was my brother into her?”

“No good answers come from that line of questioning,” you say grimly.

“I know.” Seokjin groans, and you imagine him dragging a hand down his face. “You’re right, but I can’t stop picturing it. And they didn’t.”

“They didn’t what?”

“Wait a respectable amount of time,” he mutters. “Emilia and I broke up in December, and they told me at the end of March they were dating. Meaning they started dating before and only deemed it serious enough to tell me in March.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Hence the thinking.”

“About the timeframe, or the general weirdness?” you prompt.

In the back of your mind, you can't help wondering what made Seokjin reach out. According to what he just said, Seokjin has known about Jaesuk and Emilia since March. Granted, everything about this is strange and it's valid to vent, but you haven't spoken to Seokjin in months. Even before the break-up, it's been ages since you spoke about anything real.

“Both,” he says in response to your question.

“Not… anything else?”

“What else would I be thinking about, Y/N?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you huff, twisting the thread of your apron. “Are you still in love with Emilia? It’s hard to be around an ex normally, but this…” Trailing off, you shake your head.

“What? No. I mean, yeah – it’s not fun to be around them. But no,” Seokjin says, decisive. “I’m not in love with her.”

Your lips tighten, unsure how much to believe. Still, you decide not to push him. Years of experience have taught you that if Seokjin isn’t ready to talk about something, you won’t get a peep out of him. If it were you, though, five months isn’t enough to fall out of love.

“Okay,” is all you say. Glancing at the staff door, you watch Jimin hand the customer their drink. Your break will be over soon, one way or another.

“I’m… actually glad you called me, Y/N.”

The hesitancy in his voice draws you back. “You are?”

“Yeah.” Seokjin clears his throat, a nervous tic. “Jaesuk called me yesterday. You know how my parents’ anniversary is in May?”

“Of course.”

Obviously, you know. Seokjin’s parents are strange for many reasons, not least of which is their genuine love for one another. They are also – you can say this after many years working in consulting – the most normal rich people you’ve ever encountered. Most of their wealth is donated each year, with a small stipend (still an insane amount) granted to each family member.

The weekend of their anniversary is the exception to this rule. Seokjin’s parents go all out, spending an entire week at their lake house, hosting lavish parties which cumulate in the main event. Growing up, you attended as Seokjin’s plus one. This all changed when Seokjin got his first girlfriend, although you still attended a few years later as the date of his sister, Seohyun.

Glancing at the calendar on the wall, you realize their anniversary is coming up. Seokjin’s family will probably leave for their lake house next weekend.

“Yeah.” Seokjin again clears his throat. “So, uh, my brother called and… at first, he and Emilia weren’t going to come. They decided to skip this year because of the obvious.”

“The cuckoldom, yes.”

“I said the obvious,” Seokjin says drily. “But anyways. Well.” He exhales, and you remember again that between you, Seokjin could be called mild-mannered. “Jaesuk wants to know if it would be okay with me if they come together. Emilia’s parents were invited, and they thought it might be weird…”

Your jaw has dropped again. “How would that be weirder than Emilia attending with your brother?”

“I don’t know,” he groans, and from the way his voice muffles, you imagine him laying his head on his desk. Seokjin usually grades papers in the late afternoon.

His apartment is gigantic, a three-story brownstone located in Hyde Park with a view of Lake Michigan. His study (yes, he has a study) always reminded you of the library in Beauty and the Beast. Perhaps a bit smaller, with less fiction on the walls.

Dimly, it registers that Seokjin’s parents invited the Astors. Granted, Emilia’s family runs in the same circle, but the invitation feels odd. Odd – and cruel, to invite Seokjin’s-ex-slash-Jaesuk’s-current girlfriend.

What a mess.

Numbly, you shake your head. “They want you to spend an entire week together? Alone? In the middle of the wilderness?”

“Michigan isn’t exactly Siberia, Y/N.”

“But… you, your brother, and the woman you’ve both slept with – in one house?”

“I probably wouldn’t put it like that, but sure.”

“You… said no, right?”

A long, awkward pause follows.

Your voice rises. “Right?” you demand, gripping the phone tighter.

“No.” Seokjin’s voice muffles once more. “I told them I wasn’t sure, but I’d let them know.”

“Seokjin! You absolutely cannot spend an entire week with them alone.”

“Aha!”

“What?” you ask, blinking at his note of triumph.

“You’re absolutely right. I can’t spend the week with them… alone.”

Your brows furrow. “So… you agree with me?”

“No, Y/N,” Seokjin says. “I can’t spend the week with them alone. But… with someone else…”

A beat passes.

“Are you dating someone new?” you ask. “Is that it? You’re going to subject some poor, unsuspecting person to your Shakespearean family drama?”

“Not a poor, unsuspecting person, no…”

Suspicion slowly dawns. “Seokjin…”

“Yes?”

“You can’t be serious.”

His throat clears. “I was thinking… maybe... you could join.”

The silence stretches between you so long, Seokjin grows concerned. “Y/N?” His voice dims, like he’s checking the call hadn’t dropped. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah,” you croak. “Physically. Mentally, I think something has broken, because I just heard you ask me something insane.”

“See!” Seokjin blurts. “This is why I need you there. You’re so good at making things less awkward. And my family loves you – their attention would all be on you, and not on how weird and insane my life is.”

Groaning out loud, you sink further into the chair. This is a bad idea. Truly abysmal, but…

You already know you’ll say yes. Saying no to Seokjin has never been an option.

Back in college, you joined his family trips all the time. Back then, your dad wasn’t taking care of himself, your mom had run off with her first new boyfriend, and you had nowhere to go during summer holidays. Frequently, the Kim’s referred to you as their second daughter – but all that was ages ago.

Seokjin didn’t even call when he and Emilia broke up.

“Seokjin,” you sigh. “Why are you asking me this?”

A long pause. “I just told you why.”

“No. I mean… I didn’t even know you were single.” You hesitate, then barrel on. “This is the first time we’ve talked on the phone since – god, I don’t even know. Last year?”

Seokjin’s ensuing silence is damning. An unspoken question hovers between you: Has anything changed since the last time we saw each other?

"I’m… sorry, Y/N." He exhales. "I know… I should have reached out to you sooner. I just… I just couldn’t.”

Your lips purse, watching the door. Your break must be over, but luckily, Jimin has given you space to process. As much as he pretends to be needy, his ability to read the room is remarkable.

“Ugh,” you groan, tipping your head back. Your eyes close. “Let me think about it.”

“Wait – really?” Seokjin blurts. “Thank you, Y/N! You won’t regret this – I swear.”

“I haven’t agreed to it yet!”

“Right, sure. Of course,” he hastens, attempting to sound mollified.

Your lips twitch. “I have to get back to my shift.”

“Yes. Make that money.”

“Eh.”

“Make… minimum wage plus tips?”

“Closer,” you sigh, pushing yourself to stand. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay. And Y/N?”

You hover near the door. “Yeah?”

Seokjin pauses. “There are a lot of logical reasons why it’d be great if you came, but honestly?” His voice thickens. “I just… want you there.”

There’s an ache in your chest you wish could say was a stranger. In truth though, the feeling is exactly why you should say no.

You never had a great sense of self-preservation, though. Instead, find yourself saying–

“Yes.”

Honking outside your apartment at 8:00 AM on a Sunday does little to endear Seokjin to Jimin. Standing by the window of your third story walk-up, he holds the curtain back with his pinky finger. Dressed in a green silk dressing gown, Jimin purses his lips.

“Does he really expect to just… honk, and have you fall in line?”

“That’s what we agreed,” you huff, dragging your luggage into the living room. “He said he would be here at 8:00 and I’d meet him outside.”

Jimin’s frown deepens. “He’s blocking the alley. If someone sideswipes him, that’s not my problem.”

You struggle to break free from your purse strap, which seems determined to fight back. “Seokjin isn’t used to driving in the city, give him a break.”

“Oh, he’s not the one driving.”

“What?”

“Someone else is in the car.”

Succeeding in getting your purse to lay flat, you join Jimin at the window. True to his word, a sleek black town car idles at the curb. The only reason someone hasn’t rammed into it yet is due to the early hour. Otherwise, your neighbors wouldn’t be shy about making their displeasure known. Read: petty vandalism.

Pulling the curtain back further, you curse. Seokjin leans against the side of the car, the trunk already popped. Someone else clearly sits in the front seat, which means Seokjin hired a driver.

“That’s just his driver,” you mutter, turning around.

The curtain falls, and Jimin whirls. “So, he is a one percenter.”

You choose to remain silent, dragging your suitcase to the top of the landing. Jimin follows close behind, hair sticking up in several directions.

“He’s also hotter than you led me to believe,” he accuses, following you down the stairs. You continue to ignore him, your suitcase banging each step. “Granted, I only saw him from three stories up, but I can tell. You undersold. Hmm… now, why would you do that, Y/N?”

“You’re dating Hoseok,” you remind him. “And Seokjin is straight.”

He continues, unbroken. “What would be the reason to downplay your best friend’s hotness?”

There’s a teasing note in his voice that says Jimin knows damn well why you’d do such a thing. It’s the same reason you’re going on this trip, and why you continue to reject every guy he sets you up with.

Reaching the front door, you set your bag down. “Okay,” you growl, turning around to poke Jimin in the chest. “You stay inside. This is precisely why I said I’d meet Seokjin at the curb.”

“Because of me?” Jimin clutches his chest, wounded. “Come on, Y/N. I just wanna see the guy you’re so damn in love with that you refuse to go out with any of my super cool friends. Pleaseeee –”

A loud knock makes you jump.

Eyes wide, you hold a silent, one-sided argument with Jimin that he clearly ignores. Exhaling, you spin around and grasp the handle. This is fine. Everything is fine. You can do this; all you need is to stay cool and composed – all this dissolves when you open the door.

Seokjin stands with a hand outstretched, as though about to knock.

Next to you, Jimin inhales. “Whoa,” he mutters close to your ear. “Okay. I get it.”

Seokjin’s gaze flicks to him. “What?”

Slowly, you turn and glare at your roommate.

To his credit, Jimin swiftly recovers. “I get… I mean, got your scone, Y/N! You forgot it upstairs,” he amends, shoving his own half-eaten scone into your empty hand. “I saw it on the kitchen table, so I followed you down.”

“Oh.” Seokjin looks between you. “That was nice of you…”

“Jimin.” Beaming, Jimin shoves past to shake Seokjin’s outstretched hand. “I’m so glad we met. I’ve heard so much about you – Y/N’s best friend, in the flesh. Someone’s going to hit your car if you continue blocking the alley.”

Seokjin doesn’t seem to know what to do with this information, especially not while Jimin vigorously pumps his hand up and down. Deciding this is too much before coffee, you begin to pass Jimin with your bag in tow.

“Oh – here,” Seokjin hastens, breaking away to grab the handle. “I’ve got it. Nice to meet you, man,” he says, glancing at Jimin.

When you start to leave, Jimin contorts himself enough to drop a kiss on your cheek. A moment of what can only be described as negative sexual tension follows, and you stare at him, baffled, before walking away. Jimin winks as you go, the purpose of which you realize when you catch Seokjin watching.

He looks almost… mad?

He also looks insanely good. The benefit of Jimin being chaotic means you had no time to second-guess your greeting. You were so busy trying to contain the conversation, you didn’t worry about what would be appropriate to say during your first meeting in months.

Now, though, you have time to look at him. Seokjin is simultaneously perfectly put together and artfully tousled. His hair is longer than the last time you saw him, piece-y black waves falling over his forehead. The morning is cold enough that he wears a light jacket, a white button-down and slacks freshly pressed underneath.

Great. Seokjin looks hot. There goes all your hope for a painless vacation.

You glance at your suitcase. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Take my bag,” you huff, reaching out.

Innocent, Seokjin yanks it behind him. “It’s the literal least I can do, Y/N. You’re the one doing me a huge favor.”

“Well, when you put it like that.”

Seokjin chuckles when you head for the car, carefully picking your way to the curb. April showers really did bring the May flowers or, in your case, serious flooding that has since subsided but left a mark.

Sliding into the backseat, you glance at your building and spot Jimin in the window, still clad in his dressing gown. He waves enthusiastically at the car and blows another kiss. Scowling up at him, you almost don’t notice when Seokjin slides in.

When the door shuts, you notice – it should be criminal to smell as good as he does. It doesn’t help that you know exactly which Molton Brown body wash Seokjin uses, nor that you were there when he picked the scent in high school.

The two of you became friends in elementary school. Seokjin was seated beside you in class; his parents wanted him to experience 'normal life' and enrolled him in public school. Really, the only thing normal at that school was his friendship with you.

Extracting yourself from your purse, you watch Seokjin lean forward and press a button. “George?” he asks, lowering the partition.

A middle-aged man sits in the driver’s seat. He smiles at you in the rearview mirror, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?”

Seokjin winces at the formality. “We’re ready to go. I’d like to –”

BEEEEEEEEEEEP.

A car honks from the alley and, hiding a smile, you slump lower. Seokjin blinks, glancing behind you to spot a car revving its engine.

Sighing resignedly, he faces forward. “Wormhole Coffee, George – thank you.”

George nods, ever the professional while rolling up the partition to move the car forward. You rumble along side streets in silence until you peer at Seokjin.

“So,” you say casually. “A driver?”

His gaze meets yours. “The weather looked bad. I figured it’d be nice to have George drive us out of the city.”

“Just out of the city, huh?”

“Yep.” He nods. “Then we’re on our own. Figured we could hitchhike, or maybe steal someone’s car?”

“Oh, cool. With the way the world’s going, I’d hoped to die young.”

Seokjin’s laugh echoes around you. The sound makes your heart twinge, and you move your gaze to your lap. By the time you reach Wormhole Coffee, your thoughts are muddled. You didn’t expect this to be so awkward and – not for the first time – wonder why Seokjin invited you. He could have asked anyone; a co-worker or college buddy, hell, even a neighbor.

Stepping from the car, you barely reach the door before Seokjin appears. “Hey,” he says, placing a hand on your arm.

You blink downward, and he swiftly removes it.

“I… uh.” Again, he clears his throat. “I hope this weekend doesn’t make things weird for you. You know you don’t have to come if things are… complicated.”

You look at him. “If what things are complicated?”

“If” – aimless, he waves – “you know. Let’s say you and I were dating, and you suddenly went on a trip with your guy friend alone. I might feel weird about it.”

You’re so hung up on Seokjin saying you and I were dating, you nearly miss the important bit. Once that sinks in, you can’t help but grin.

Seokjin frowns. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you… think Jimin and I are dating?”

Your tone is almost gleeful, and Seokjin’s eyes narrow. “I thought that maybe…”

“We’re not,” you declare, pushing open the door. “But I appreciate the concern. Jimin and I just work together. He’s happily dating someone else.”

“Ah.”

Stopping at the counter, you survey the menu. Ordering one of the spring coffee specials, you move to the end and grab several napkins. Seokjin joins you, waiting patiently until both your orders are called. George is idling at the curb – you have to admit, a personal driver has benefits – and you slide into the backseat with your iced latte procured.

Once the door shuts, Seokjin turns. “I’m sorry. I promised this wouldn’t be awkward, and here I am, being awkward. Thank you… for being here.”

“No problem.”

A loud silence follows, interrupted only by the sound of the car starting. George heads for the highway, and you take a long sip of your coffee.

Despite your exterior, you’re freaking out on the inside. Apparently, you were right to worry because this is going about as terrible as you imagined. Not because of the obvious – you have feelings for your best friend and he’s jealous of his ex – but because somehow, the two of you have nothing to say.

“Seriously.” Seokjin struggles to find his next words. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve been dreading this week. I know I played it cool over the phone–”

“Uh, that was playing it cool?”

“–but actually,” he continues, as though you haven’t spoken, “I’ve been panicking.”

Another twinge when you realize you were right. Seokjin claimed he was over Emilia, but there’s no way he could be. If it were, he wouldn’t need you to be here. He wouldn’t be dreading this interaction if he had moved on.

Of course, Seokjin isn’t over her. They’ve barely been broken up for six months. You’ve waited longer to get a new pet.

“Well, sure,” you say, softening as you face him. “That makes sense. Anyone would be freaked out by the prospect of spending an entire week with their ex. Doubly so, if said ex was now dating their sibling.”

Seokjin pulls a face. “And that’s not even the worst part.”

“… did they kill someone, too?”

“Okay, fine – that is the worst part, but it sucks how weird everyone else is being. How nice,” he elaborates, catching your look. “My parents tiptoe around me, not knowing how to act. Jaesuk is practically self-flagellating, and Emilia is ignoring me, because –”

“Hang on – how is Jaesuk self-flagellating?”

Seokjin exhales and sinks lower. “Jaesuk has apologized to me so many times, he’s going to leave permanent knee indents on my floor. He keeps randomly texting me, offering to buy stuff, which is just plain insulting.”

“You know who isn’t insulted by expensive gifts? Me.” You jab a thumb at your chest. “Tell Jaesuk if he wants to make things up to you, he should make things up to me.”

Rather than laugh at your joke, Seokjin’s face flushes. You tilt your head, unsure where you went wrong until he dispels the tension with a soft chuckle. Eyes narrowed, you study him. Strange.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. “Anyways, since I said you were coming, things have been almost normal. Now, at least my parents are fixated on you and not whether they should console their broken-hearted son” – he points to himself, mimicking your gesture from earlier – “or celebrate Jaesuk finding new love.”

“Love?”

“Yeah.” Seokjin grimaces. “He let that one slip last week. I think… there may have been feelings between them for a while, even if they never acted on it.”

He doesn’t sound upset, but you can’t keep your own jaw from clenching. Even if Seokjin has moved on from Emilia (which, again, you doubt), their behavior is inexcusable. Seokjin can be as generous as he wants, but you don’t have to feel the same.

Teeth grinding, you wonder how civil you need to be on this trip.

“Can you stop plotting revenge, Y/N?” Seokjin says mildly. “You know that makes me uncomfortable.”

Reluctant, you unclench your jaw. “Who, me?”

“Please.” Seokjin sips his coffee. “You forget I know you, Y/N. Your face is very… expressive.”

“Okay, you’re one to talk!”

Besides, no matter how expressive you are, Seokjin has still never caught onto your biggest secret over the years. The one Jimin guessed right away – that for years, you’ve been madly in love with your supposed best friend.

The knowledge is sobering enough that you turn towards the window. Last December was simply the accumulation of many years of pining – admittedly, you didn’t realize the severity of your feelings until late last summer.

In your twenties, you would have wondered if this week meant something more than friendship. You would have read between the lines of what Seokjin was saying, and saw meaning in his small gestures. Now, you’ve known him for twenty years, and can say with complete certainty that Seokjin is just a good person. He values friendship highly, as much as romantic relationships, and he values you most of all.

And even though he values you, his feelings for you don’t go beyond platonic. It’s better not to go down that road again – no, the only way you’ll survive this week is to take everything at face value. You pulled away for a reason, and now you’re forced to remember. The only way to leave this intact is to continually remind yourself the two of you are just friends.

“I made a playlist,” you announce, unzipping your purse. “It’s everything that you love – study lo-fi beats, classical music, and whale sounds. You know, because of academia?”

Seokjin sighs deeply but obediently plugs in your phone. The first chords of your chill driving playlist come over the speakers, and you settle in. Seokjin responds by pulling out his phone, brow furrowed as he sends off a text. His job can be demanding at times, especially until he gets tenure.

While Jaesuk was groomed to take over the family company, Seokjin was left to pursue his own dreams. For as long as you’ve known him, Seokjin has been fascinated by the people around him. What makes them tick, why people do things, how we influence one another – his first anthropology course felt like coming home, he said back in college.

Even though his career is what Seokjin wants, it doesn’t come without stress. During your twenties, Seokjin entertained you with many tales of bitter rivals, faux plagiarism, and the insane emails his students send to him before class. Most Friday nights were spent at his place, with Seokjin grading papers while you lay on his couch and drank wine.

Swallowing, you stare out the window. The current situation is your fault, you remind yourself. Maybe if you had been braver earlier, more willing to blow up your sense of security for the unknown… then maybe you wouldn’t be in this same place with Seokjin.

The first time you felt more than friendship was in high school. Seokjin transformed overnight, returning from his fancy summer camp at least six inches taller and broader. Somone (probably his sister) bought him styling products, and even though gelled hair is out of touch now – back in high school? Devastating.

You convinced yourself the feelings meant nothing. Hormones. Puberty. Something temporary and fleeting, not the permanent realization Seokjin was your entire world. That came later.

For a few years, you did a good job at convincing yourself. You dated other people, even seriously – David, your first love. The two of you began dating when you were sixteen and lasted until your first semester of college. When you broke up, you called Seokjin and cried to him on the phone for hours. At some point, you fell asleep and woke up to realize he’d never hung up.

Something soft took root in your chest that day. You meant to confess when you came home for winter break, only to reach his family’s Christmas party and find Seokjin arm in arm with his new girlfriend, Lisa. Gorgeous, thin, rich and the same major as Seokjin – you slunk off that night after being introduced as his friend and found comfort with Seohyun in her parents’ wine cellar.

That was the moment you decided to move on. You couldn’t continue to make decisions around the hope Seokjin would one day see you as more. He was a good friend – the best friend – and you valued that, too. For years, you thought you’d succeeded. You dated casually, buried yourself in your work, and watched as Seokjin did the same.

There was a brief scare when you both moved to Chicago, and you found yourself becoming reacquainted. The Seokjin of your childhood had gone, leaving a man in his place. Eventually though, even that faded, and you convinced yourself friendship was enough. It had to be enough, because Seokjin never hinted at wanting more. If he sometimes sat too close or looked at you too long – well, that was just how Seokjin was.

Until Emilia.

Emilia was the first girlfriend Seokjin had who made sense. She fit in with his friends, was of the same upbringing, had the right social status and worst of all, she was nice. Emilia was cool, effortless, and about a million other things which made her a good match for Seokjin. In a horrible burst of karmic justice you realized that summer you didn’t want Seokjin to find a good match. You wanted him to find you.

The realization humiliated you. You were Seokjin’s best friend – you should have been happy for him. You had had years, decades, to confess your feelings and skipped past all of them. You spent so many years insisting you were fine, that these feelings meant nothing, and everything was a lie.

Seokjin was oblivious. Once you understood your own feelings, you realized you had been hiding this from him for years. It made you well-equipped to handle him with Emilia. Or at least, you thought it would. Seokjin continued inviting you to parties, asking you to hang out with him and Emilia, or join them on couple vacations.

At first, you said yes but brought buffers. Hinge dates, friends of friends, even co-workers – despite numerous distractions, none of them worked. By the end of the summer, you had made moves in your career to be happier. Soon after, you realized you needed to do the same in your personal life.

You began to pull away: taking longer to respond to Seokjin’s texts, making excuses when you were invited out, and cancelling plans at the last minute. All throughout the fall this continued, cumulating in December at Seokjin’s birthday party.

He stopped by your coffee shop in November, catching you in the middle of cleaning the espresso machine. “Promise me you’ll come,” Seokjin insisted, leaning over the counter.

Jimin wasn’t on shift that day, and you struggled to remember what piece to clean next. Frustration rose, trapped behind your teeth – at how to clean the machine, nothing more.

“I’ll try,” you said at last, but avoided his gaze.

Seokjin left soon after. Still, him going out of his way triggered your guilt complex enough that you chose to go. Seokjin barely said hello when you arrived. He had a few drinks. So did you. Emilia always stood near him, chatting in the corner with mutual friends.

At some point, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. For the first time all night, you let your expression drop. Sinking onto the closed toilet seat, you buried your face in your hands and wondered why you had come. You stayed there several minutes, composing yourself enough to exit.

Seokjin waited outside.

Leaning against the wall, his posture seemed stiff. You rarely saw Seokjin angry, but when you did – well, it was hard to stay platonic with that look in his eyes.

“I haven’t seen you all night,” he said, unmoving.

You came to a stop. “It seemed like you were enjoying yourself. I didn’t want to intrude. Happy birthday, though.”

His frown deepened. “Is that all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know.” Seokjin paused, then refocused. “You look nice.”

Noticing the glassiness in his eyes, you sighed, “You’re drunk.”

“Traditionally, people buy the birthday boy drinks.”

“Gross,” you said, unable to keep from smiling. “Don’t ever call yourself the birthday boy again.”

He chuckled and then – silence. Each passing second thickened between you, until you could scarcely breathe.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Seokjin blurted at last.

You inhaled, not having expected him to be so blunt.

“I’m n–”

“Don’t say you’re not.” Swaying a little, he pushed himself from the wall. “I don’t… please don’t lie to me, Y/N. I can’t take it.”

Startled, you realized he had moved closer. There wasn’t much space between you in the hall. Seokjin seemed to realize this at the same moment you did. His gaze darted once, then twice to your mouth – and stayed.

Your throat dried.

At that very moment, Emilia walked around the corner. Seokjin leapt back as though burned, and you swept into motion, mumbling happy birthday again as you passed. You didn’t stop moving until you were past the bouncer and standing outside. Trembling, you pulled out your phone and ordered a rideshare.

Nothing happened that night. Nothing significant, and yet…

His face remains clear in your mind. Cheeks flushed from drink and anger, his button-down partly undone. You remember how the world stopped, continuing to spin on around you. You had felt that way plenty of times in his presence, but it was the first time you wondered if maybe… Seokjin felt it, too.

It didn’t matter though, because he was dating Emilia. You left the party that night and have barely talked to him since. Not until Seokjin called to invite you to his parents’ lake house.

Resting your forehead against the window, you close your eyes as the memory replays again. At some point, you drift off and the rest of the ride is in silence.

The next thing you know is someone touching your shoulder. Blearily, you crack open an eye and are affronted by Seokjin.

Affronted, since it’s unfair for someone to look this good – except. Frowning, you notice his jaw, tight with tension. Seokjin smooths this quickly, but you notice all the same. Examining him further, you find dark shadows beneath his eyes. Criminal for Seokjin Kim, who uses specially made dermatology products that can’t be bought in a store.

Again, you wonder if there’s something he’s not saying. Emilia being with Jaesuk must be weighing on him.

There’s no time to inquire though, since you look out the window and see you’ve arrived. The Kim family lake house sprawls ahead and to the left. Even after so many years, you find yourself struck by the sight.

A driveway winds through the forest, ending at bluffs overlooking Lake Michigan. The limestone mansion is covered in ivy, lending itself to a storybook appearance. Manicured gardens extend towards the lake, several gardeners at work on flower beds. You remember the first time you came; you refused to exit the car. It seemed impossible that so much beauty could be meant for you.

Pushing this away, you face Seokjin. He fidgets with the end of his seatbelt, causing your own frown to deepen.

“What’s wrong?” you demand.

“Nothing,” Seokjin blurts, only to wince. “Well. There is one thing, but I –”

The front door flies open, and you see Mrs. Kim emerge through the car window. Even through glass, you hear her calling your names.

Giving Seokjin a look, you push open your door. He blanches and unbuckles his seat belt. “Y/N, wait –”

Unfortunately, your door is already open. Mrs. Kim gasps when you step outside, hurrying towards you in what she calls ‘casual’ wear – slacks, a cardigan, and loafers worth more than your rent.

“Y/N,” she cries, throwing both arms around you. “Oh, it’s so good to have you here.”

Returning the hug, you can’t help but smile. Seokjin’s family has always felt like home to you. Your mom got pregnant with you at forty-six, which was a shock to everyone. Your sister is twelve years older, but it always felt like more. She was out of the house by the time you turned seven, leaving you alone with your parents.

Some would say that was the beginning of the end. Your parents got divorced when you were in high school and afterward, everything was different. Your dad is fine now but was a wreck for several years. Seokjin’s parents took you in on the holidays, inviting you along on vacations, and threw you birthday parties. It’s been too long since you saw them – probably last summer.

With a final squeeze, you release Mrs. Kim. “It’s so good to be here,” you say.

Being at the lake with Seokjin and his family brings the same sense of rightness as quitting your job. It feels like the moment at the end of a long day when you finish writing and finally crawl into bed.

Holding you at arm’s length, Mrs. Kim looks you up and down. “In fact, I’m so glad to see you,” she says with a chuckle, “I’ll forgive you for not calling the moment it happened.”

Your mind catches on this. “Oh?”

Seokjin appears at your side. He’s out of breath, and you wonder if he was busy lugging your suitcases inside. Usually, the Kim family has people to help with that. His expression is strange though, stuck between fear and resignation. You wonder if this has something to do with what he wanted to tell you in the car.

Stomach swooping, you wonder if there’s another surprise. Maybe Jaesuk and Emilia are engaged. Or pregnant. Maybe –

“You, too,” Mrs. Kim scolds, pulling Seokjin into a hug. He returns the gesture, looking slightly green. “You should have told us sooner! You know we would have been thrilled.”

Seokjin mumbles something you don’t hear as he takes a step backwards. Now, the wheels in your head are turning, and you begin to suspect you’re missing something important. Some key piece of information to explain why Mrs. Kim is beaming, hands clasped over her chest in near-supplication.

“Sorry,” you say, looking between them. “I feel kind of out of the loop… what should I have told you about earlier?”

Mrs. Kim blinks at you in confusion.

You aren’t looking at her, though. Instead, you find yourself watching Seokjin, who purposely avoids eye contact. After a moment, he seems to reach some internal decision. Taking a deep breath, Seokjin reaches out and takes your hand.

“Y/N,” he says, and then stops.

His mom laughs and claps her hands. “Oh! That was a joke – Y/N, you’re too funny. What am I talking about,” she chuckles, as though you’re all in this together. “Why, the fact that you’re dating, of course!”

Time screeches to a halt. Or it at least lethargizes, slowing to rate beyond human comprehension. You slowly turn to face Seokjin, expecting him to show shock or confusion but find only chagrin.

It takes ages for your gaze to travel to your hand in his. Before you can say or do anything, Seokjin moves closer. Stroking your palm with his thumb, he smiles.

“This is exactly why we didn’t tell anyone,” he says with a forced laugh. “We knew you and dad would freak out, and there’s been enough of that lately.”

Realizing your mouth has fallen open, you manage to shut it. Seokjin has pulled himself together, but you’re not that good an actor. He sounds like he believes what he’s saying, which is insane. Dimly, you think back to his serious texting in the car and his attempt to say something before you got out. All of it ends at the same conclusion.

Seokjin knew this was coming. And he didn’t tell you.

Anger surges, and you grasp it like a lifeline. The emotion distracts you from other, less stable feelings churning within you. Lifting your chin, you force your expression to neutral.

“Yes,” you agree, pinching Seokjin’s wrist and making him jump. “It all happened so fast. I mean, if you can call twenty years fast,” you say in an attempt at a joke.

Mrs. Kim laughs again. “Oh, please. You two are made for each other. We’ve always thought so,” she adds, turning towards the house. “Jaeho, come out here!”

Jaw tight, you lapse into silence. Until you know exactly what Seokjin has said and to whom, it’s best to say nothing. The last thing you want is to hurt Seokjin’s family. Right now, your best bet is to hold it together until you can make an excuse to leave. Maybe there could be an emergency at the coffee shop. A run on – uh, beans? Or milk?

The one thing you do know is you can’t stay. Now that you know the full story, there’s no way you can pretend to date your best friend you’re secretly in love with in front of his ex. Just thinking about it gives you a headache.

Before you can pull Seokjin into the house, the door opens again and two people emerge. All thoughts vanish at the sight of a cream blouse and slacks. Seokjin immediately tenses, and unthinking, you take a step closer.

Emilia Astor is the epitome of old Hollywood. Her hair is shorter than the last time you met, cut in an elegant bob with a slight curl at the ends. Immediately, you feel dowdy in your old jeans and sweater. The way she dresses in all white and doesn’t spill anything continues to be awe-inspiring.

Jaesuk walks at her side, shielding his face from the sun. When they stop before you, he smiles at you and Seokjin.

“Y/N!” Emilia holds out both arms for a hug.

After an awkward pause, you step into the embrace. Half of you expects her to whisper something cutting in your ear, but that wouldn’t be like her. You’d deserve it, though, you realize. Face heating, you break the hug, and you consider how this looks.

Yes, Emilia started dating Seokjin’s brother a few months after she and Seokjin broke up. At the same time though, he (seemingly) asked out his best friend. You. A friendship Emilia knew of and trusted to only be platonic. Shoving your discomfort aside, you glance at Jaesuk.

“Hey, Jaesuk,” you say. “Good to see you, too.”

“Hi, Y/N.” He waves, folding Emilia into his side. “It’s really nice to have you here again.”

A small, relieved knot unwinds in your stomach. Jaesuk, at least, doesn’t seem mad at you. Hopefully that means Emilia is also taking the high road. While Jaesuk and Seokjin weren’t close growing up, they did a lot to improve their relationship during their twenties. You would hate for anything you did (perceived or real) to come between them.

Anything Emilia and Jaesuk did, your brain argues. Even if you were dating Seokjin, that’s nothing compared to the betrayal of his brother in dating his ex.

Thinking this, you take a step closer and place your hand on Seokjin’s chest. He glances down at this, then at you. His expression softens.

“There they are!” Mr. Kim’s voice booms, exiting the hedge maze – yes, the hedge maze –with Seohyun. “Finally, the entire family’s arrived.”

Shoving her phone in her pocket, Seohyun skips past her dad. “Y/N!” she cries, looping both arms around you. “My favorite sibling, at last.”

Jaesuk sighs, and Seokjin complains, “You’re not even related.”

“Obviously.” Seohyun withdraws and gives you a conspiratorial smile. “If we were, your relationship would be disgusting – not to mention, illegal.”

Seokjin sputters, and you can’t help but laugh.

Seohyun is two years younger than Seokjin and has always felt like more of a sister to you than your own. One of the hardest parts of the past year was pulling away from Seokjin knowing it meant losing his family. Even with Seohyun halfway around the world in Seoul, your text thread has never been silent for long.

“I missed you, too,” you admit.

Over her shoulder, you notice Emilia looking slightly downcast. She hides it quickly, but not fast enough. Releasing Seohyun, you end up standing beside your – apparent – boyfriend.

“Should we head inside?” Still beaming, Mrs. Kim looks between you and Seokjin. Still, she allows her husband to guide her towards the door. “It’s much too cold for this time in May.”

Jaesuk nudges Emilia. “Agreed. I’ll make a fire in the living room.”

They both head inside, leaving you standing with Seokjin and Seohyun. When you turn towards your suitcase, you realize it’s already moved. Seokjin has your purse over one shoulder, and he gestures you towards the front door.

Brushing past, you head for the house as your anger rises. Seohyun falls into step alongside you, gleeful, and you realize this may have been the wrong choice.

“So,” she says, whistling loudly. “This was a surprise, huh?” She waggles her eyebrows at you and her brother.

Rolling his eyes, Seokjin walks alongside you. “Did you think I’d give you a call the next morning, or something?”

You nearly choke when you hear what this implies.

Seohyun gags. “Gross. I so did not need the image of you and my brother hooking up. No offense, Y/N. But you could have called before announcing you were dating in the family group chat.”

Seokjin blanches, and you at last take pity on him. “It was my fault,” you say, putting yourself in between the siblings. “I didn’t want Seokjin to say anything until we were sure what this was. Things have been weird enough with… well.” Aimless, you gesture to where Emilia and Jaesuk have disappeared.

“Oh, yeah.” Seohyun turns grim. “That.”

“Seo,” Seokjin grumbles. “I told you – I’m fine with it.”

“Sure, you’re fine with it. That doesn’t mean I am.”

You laugh, unable to help it. “That’s exactly what I said.”

“See?” Triumphant, Seohyun locks arms. “It’s weird, Seokjin.”

The three of you cross the threshold, and for a moment, the nostalgia overwhelms. The black and white checkered tile stretches before you, a double staircase leading to the second and third floors. Above you hangs an antique chandelier, glass and wrought iron reminiscent of lace.

Seohyun breaks towards the kitchen, saying something about a snack before dinner. This leaves Seokjin and you all alone, and the feelings you’ve suppressed come flooding back.

Seokjin lied to you. He planned this. He had so many times to warn you over the past week – in the car ride! – and chose not to.

“Your room,” you snap, refusing to look at him when you walk past. “Now.”

Stopping at the stairs, you remove your shoes and stomp upstairs barefoot. Meekly, Seokjin follows you to the second floor. Muscle memory leads to the north wing, where you and Seokjin used to stay while here with his family. You hover outside his old room, realizing with horror you might be expected to share.

Assuming you decide to stay, that is.

Pushing open the door, you march inside and drop your shoes near the closet. The moment the door shuts, you whirl around.

“Explain,” you demand.

Seokjin hovers over the threshold. “I’m so sorry,” he blurts. “You can leave if you want to.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ll figure something out. Make up some excuse – I promise.”

Dizzily, you shake your head. “That’s not an explanation, Seokjin. Why does your family think that we’re dating? This wasn’t what you asked me to do,” you add, lowering your voice in case someone walks past.

“It was an accident, I swear.” He shoves a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“You didn’t mean to… what? To tell your family we’re dating?”

“No!” Seokjin blurts, then shakes his head. “That’s not what I told them. It’s… okay.” He stops and exhales. “After we talked last week, I put off telling them for a few days. I’ve been pretty silent in the group chat ever since… well, ever since Emilia and Jaesuk announced they were dating. When I finally got up the nerve, I texted them I was bringing you and went into class.”

Your brows lift. “And?”

“And” – Seokjin groans, collapsing onto the chaise – “things had spiraled by the time I got out. Everyone assumed I was bringing you… as my girlfriend. My mom responded saying how happy this made her, then my dad congratulated us on our ‘budding relationship,’ and my mom added how perfect it was…” Seokjin swallows, looking nauseous. “I had a voicemail from Jaesuk, telling me how relieved he felt. He’d been worried about bringing Emilia around, but with me dating someone, he thought this could work…” Seokjin trails off, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’ll fix this.”

It’s a struggle not to react. You tell yourself to stay strong, to hold your ground, but – well, you can’t help it when some of your anger unravels. As well-meaning as Seokjin’s family can be, you understand how it happened.

“Emilia,” Seokjin mumbles into his palms, “texted me saying how happy she was. That she was so glad I wasn’t hurt anymore. She acted like I was so pitiful. And I just… snapped, Y/N.”

“I get it.”

Slowly, he lowers both hands. “You… do?”

“Yeah.”

Seokjin watches you for a long moment. “So… where does this leave us?”

You consider the question, and everything that would follow. On the one hand – Seokjin should have told you. He should have called you the moment his family misunderstood. Or explained on the car ride up.

On the other hand, you’re here now. You saw for yourself how Seokjin isn’t over Emilia. Instead, she came here with Jaesuk and Seokjin is forced to watch them together. Alone.

At last, you exhale and shake your head.

“You should have told me.”

To his credit, Seokjin seems embarrassed. “I know. I should have.” The chaise squeaks when he stands, walking towards you. “Please, Y/N,” he declares, and to your surprise, drops to his knees. “Please, forgive me and fake date me. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll – I’ll do your laundry for a month.”

Eyes wide, you stare down at him. “I have a laundry machine in my unit, Seokjin.”

“Oh.” He considers. “I’ll walk your dog.”

“I don’t have a dog. You know that.”

“You can…” Desperate, he looks around. “You can use this house as a writing retreat! Whenever you want. I promise! All expenses paid, just tell me the dates. I’ll make sure my family clears out.”

This makes you hesitate. While you’ve made steady progress on your novel, it’s been difficult to write in your shared apartment. Jimin doesn’t exactly understand the meaning of personal space, and many a writing session has devolved into a movie marathon.

“Go on,” you say slowly.

Sensing weakness, Seokjin scoots closer. He clasps both hands before him, creating a distracting visual.

“Time to work on your novel,” he intones, his voice low. “Just picture it. This entire place to yourself. The peace and quiet you’ve always wanted but never achieved! Writing paradise! An entire staff at your beck and call. Me, chauffeuring you to and fro, bringing you fresh fruit and –”

“Okay, okay.” Flapping a hand, you gesture for him to stand. “Fine, fine – I’ll do it.”

“Really?” Seokjin bounds to his feet. “Wow, that was easy.”

“To be clear, I would have done it without the lake house.”

His smile vanishes. “What?”

“No take backs,” you say, wagging a finger. “Whenever I want – that’s what you said. I assume that makes it a standing offer? Holidays included?”

“Now, hang on…”

“You’re so generous,” you gush, bending to unzip your suitcase. “Thanks, darling. You do spoil me.”

A beat passes, enough that you look up to find Seokjin staring. Possibly you overdid it with ‘darling.’

Coming to, Seokjin crosses his arms. “Should’ve known you’d take me for all I was worth. You’re merciless, Y/N.”

You blow smoke off an imaginary gun. “We should probably get our story straight, though – right?” you ask, rummaging under your pants. “Like, how did this happen? How long have we been dating? And” – arching a brow, you look upward – “am I really staying in your room this whole week?”

Seokjin frowns, as though this hadn’t crossed his mind. Expression tight, you sit back on your heels. It’s hard not to react to the fact that Seokjin doesn’t want you in his personal space. You would understand if he hadn’t brought this upon himself, but he told his family you were dating, so they’re going to expect you to do dating things.

Rubbing his neck, Seokjin nods. “Yeah. Good point.” He considers, then seems to reach a decision. “How about this: we were hanging out last month, and you confessed that you liked me.”

“I confessed? Hell, no.”

Seokjin blinks. “What? Why?”

“Because! That makes it sound like I was pining for you during your entire relationship and pounced the second you became available.”

Seokjin smirks. “And?”

Incensed, you throw a handful of bras at his head. Seokjin yelps, dodging most of them – except a lacy, black contraption that lands on his shoulder. “Real mature,” he says, delicately removing it. “Anyways. So, we were hanging out last month –”

“When last month?”

“I don’t know!” He throws up his hands. “Pick a weekend. Let’s say I brought you as my date to a faculty function, and… I confessed.” He pauses, then adds, “That makes it sound like I was harboring secret feelings for you the entire length of my relationship.”

“You mean… like your former girlfriend harbored for your brother?”

“Fair point.”

“I still don’t know how you’re okay with all that.”

Seokjin exhales and sits on the bed – avoiding the bra. “I don’t know that I am,” he admits. “Otherwise, I would’ve corrected my family in the group chat – right?”

“Right,” you echo, although something about his tone gives you pause.

He falls back on the mattress. “Right,” he says, speaking to the ceiling. “So, we have the whole ‘how did this happen’ question down. And how long – we’ve been dating for a month. What about the rest?”

“You mean, where am I staying this week?”

Propping himself up on an elbow, Seokjin peers at you down his torso. “I can figure something out if you want. We can move to the joined rooms down the hall. They have a terrible view,” he muses. “But I can say this room had a draft, or something. That way you can go to the other room at night, and –”

“Seokjin. I don’t mind staying here.”

He hesitates. “You don’t?”

“No. I mean, this isn’t the first time we’ve shared a room. Or have you forgotten the backpacking trip?”

A devious smile crosses his face. “How could I forget? Remember when you booked us a room in someone else’s house?”

“That wasn’t my fault!” you insist. “I swear, the listing changed after I booked. Anyways, Rodolfo was very nice.”

“He asked you out twice,” Seokjin says flatly.

“Can you blame him?”

He pauses, then tilts his head. “No.”

Finding yourself in unfamiliar territory, you blink. Then it occurs to you Seokjin is probably flirting with you for practice. That way, it seems genuine in front of his family. Satisfied, you resume pulling things from your suitcase.

“Um, right,” you say. “But that just proves my point. This isn’t the first time we’ve shared a room.”

“Yes, but…” Seokjin waves a hand at the mattress.

Oh. Right – that.

The room, despite its size, has only one bed. Granted, the bed is King-sized, so there’s enough room for you both, but still. While the two of you have shared a room several times over the years, never a bed.

“Okay.” You frown. “That’s fine – I can sleep on the floor. Or on the couch.”

Seokjin gives you a wry look. “Y/N. I got us into this situation. The least I can do is sleep on the couch.”

“Will you even fit? You’re not as young as you once were.”

“Ouch.” Seokjin huffs a laugh, massaging his chest with one hand. Annoyingly, your gaze follows the motion. “I didn’t realize this week would include personal roasting sessions. Are you trying to tear down my self-confidence, Y/N?”

“As though anything I said could make a dent in that.”

Something about this seems to amuse him, but Seokjin says nothing. Pushing himself to stand, he claps both hands together. “We can figure that out later. For now, we’ve established you’ll stay here. In my room,” he adds.

“Fine,” you say, standing with an armful of clothes. “You may need to grab some more hangers, though. These dresses can’t wrinkle.”

Bowing extravagantly, Seokjin backs away. “Your wish is my command,” he declares, continuing the bit as he enters the hall. “And Y/N?” he adds, straightening.

You look over your shoulder. “Yeah?”

Seokjin watches you seriously, his expression at odds with his usual humor. “Thanks,” he says, quiet.

A shiver goes through you. “You’re welcome.”

He nods and disappears. Left alone with your stuff, you stare at the suitcase, heart pounding. So much for self-preservation. No matter how badly you insist that you’re fine, that your feelings are over, look where you are.

At the Kim family lake house, surrounded by memories and the people who haunt them. A cold sense of foreboding steals over you. With so many secrets to hide, so many years of pushing feelings down, you can’t help the feeling that something will drop.

You can only hope you survive the aftermath.

One thing you did not miss about the Kim’s is their shared love of hiking. Even Seohyun, usually your partner in crime, has changed into athleisurewear so expensive, you don’t know the label. Soon after you and Seokjin unpack, Mrs. Kim suggests a walk to ‘work up an appetite’ before dinner.

Having been on many Kim family vacations, you know a ‘walk’ can mean anything from a paved path to bouldering. Accordingly, you shove your feet into sneakers and tie a sweatshirt around your waist. Your preparation pays off when the family town cars drop you off at a local trail head. Now, you find yourself huffing and puffing up a hill that on paper shouldn’t exist in the Midwest.

“Ugh,” huffs Seohyun, trekking alongside you. “I’ve been so busy with work I’ve barely hiked the past year. Which is dumb, because Seoul is literally in the mountains. I’m so out of shape.”

“Same,” you agree. “Although not because of work – it’s because I hate hiking.”

Seohyun laughs, ponytail bobbing. “I missed having you on these things. Emilia loves hiking,” she adds, lowering her voice. “And working out. She even goes running before breakfast – on purpose! Vile.”

“I mean, so does Seokjin,” you point out.

“Exactly!” Seohyun sounds triumphant. “Seokjin and Emilia are too similar. It’s why they were doomed. You can’t date yourself in a different font, Y/N. It’s boring.”

Curious, you glance over at Seokjin. He hikes beside his mom in the middle, discussing his research and her latest project. You had never considered him and Emilia in that light before. Instead, you thought their similarities were a sign of compatibility. Now that you think about it though, Seokjin never confided in you about their relationship.

While you watch, Seokjin runs a hand through his hair. His face is truly unfair – concrete proof that god has their favorites. No way should one person be that good-looking and able to carry a conversation.

Seohyun groans beside you. “Okay, I take it all back. This might be worse than having to race Emilia up a mountain. You and Seokjin are sickening.”

Gaze jerking forward, you feel your face feat. Ironically, you weren’t even thinking about the faux relationship just now. That was just your expression looking at Seokjin. If it helps to sell this nonsense, you suppose it’s a good thing. So long as Seokjin doesn’t suspect your feelings are true.

You can’t keep your thoughts from drifting towards once this week is over. After you leave the lake house and return to the city – what then? Seokjin will have to tell his family something. Will he tell them you broke up? Either way, it seems like your relationship is about to change, and you aren’t sure if that’s good.

Returning to Seohyun, you force a smile. “Hey, at least you’re not the worst hiker here anymore. Count your blessings.”

Someone beside you chuckles. “You’re definitely not the worst, Y/N,” says Emilia, pulling her backpack around to unzip.

Both you and Seohyun jump. Exchanging a swift glance, you wonder how long Emilia has been within hearing distance. Luckily, you didn’t say anything too bad… you think.

Emilia doesn’t let anything show on her face, taking a large sip of water. “The first time I went hiking with Jaesuk, I sprained my ankle and had to hop all the way to the car.”

Jaesuk catches up on her other side. “Excuse me,” he jokes. “If I remember correctly, I carried you most of the way. You only hopped in the parking lot.”

Emilia blinks at him innocently, and Jaesuk laughs. Seohyun ignores them both, taking a long sip of her water. Taking pity on them, you jump in.

“You still agreed to a hiking date,” you say. “In winter. That makes you automatically better than me, I think.”

Seokjin turns around and hikes backwards. “Y/N’s not wrong,” he calls back. “Remember the first time we went hiking in high school?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Mr. Kim cranes his head around at the front. “Y/N, didn’t I end up taking you to the emergency room?’

Seohyun hoots with laughter and your face burns. “I don’t think it was that–”

“You did! Seokjin insisted,” says Mrs. Kim, smiling at her son. “You said you were fine, Y/N, but Seokjin would have none of it. He pulled up WebMD and read you possible maladies until you gave in.”

Choosing not to respond, you glance at Seokjin. You remember that day very differently. Seokjin was concerned, yes, but he would have done the same for anyone. His reaction had nothing to do with feelings for you, which seems to be what his family is implying.

You aren’t the only one thinking that. Emilia’s gaze darts between Mrs. Kim and Seokjin, a small frown on her face.

“I was fine,” you say, steering the conversation away. “Seokjin overreacted.”

Seokjin slows to hike alongside you. “You had a hairline fracture! You were in that boot for months – remember? You got out of running the mile twice.”

“I was in the boot for a month.”

“They always bickered like this,” says his mom fondly. “We should have realized.”

Seohyun squints your way. “Mm. I always suspected they were more than platonic. Come on – a euro trip? As friends?”

“Seohyun,” Seokjin says, a warning clear in his voice. At the same time, you blurt out, “It was platonic.”

Several heads turn in your direction. Realizing you made a mistake, you backtrack. “I mean,” you hasten, “feelings came… later.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Seohyun nods.

“Anyways.” Jaesuk places his hand on Emilia’s back. “You’re a better hiker than you think, Y/N. You made it up sweat mountain, remember?”

“Don’t remind me,” you groan while Seokjin cackles.

Sweat mountain is an aptly named monstrosity Seokjin convinced you to hike while in college. You thought the name was merely a metaphor, but it was the mountain’s actual name. All you can assume is so many people collapsed from heat stroke mid-trail that they decided to leave the name as a warning.

“Today feels like sweat mountain,” Seohyun gripes. “How much further until the parking lot?”

“You’re being dramatic.” Mrs. Kim hikes past her. “This is only a three-mile walk! The parking lot is just around that curve.”

Like the traitor she is, Seohyun picks up her pace. Admittedly, today is the perfect day for hiking. The temperature is cool enough to avoid sweat, but warm enough your sweatshirt has stayed around your waist. It’s not their fault you abhor physical exercise that doesn’t end with a treat.

As though reading your mind, Seokjin pulls a protein bar from his pocket. “Hungry?”

“I’m fine,” you grumble, but – after a moment – take the bar. “Thanks.”

Seokjin watches you unwrap it and stuff half in your mouth. His lips twitch. “I’m sorry about this, by the way. I did try to offer an out at the house.”

Jaw dropping, you remember too late about the half-chewed protein bar. “Um, excuse me,” you cough, trying to swallow. “What you said was ‘Y/N might be too tired to come.’ What kind of excuse is that?” you demand, turning around to watch him as you hike. “It makes it sound like I hold you back.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “They never would have accepted that I was too tired. Mom would’ve said, ‘the fresh air will invigorate you,” he quotes in an uncanny imitation of Mrs. Kim. “As a guest, you have immunity. My mom would’ve allowed it.”

“Well…” You stuff the rest of the bar in your mouth. “Oo sh’o’d’ve said ‘at ‘efore we went ‘own’airs.”

“I didn’t know that we were– Y/N!”

Your sneaker hits a rock, ankle twisting as Seokjin darts forward. For a moment, you flail wildly before collapsing.

“Oof,” you grunt, your palms hitting the dirt. The jolt rattles enough that you wince, pride smarting as much as your hands.

“Y/N.” Seokjin drops to one knee. His hands pat your arms, gentle while checking you over. When you wince, his face darkens. “Are you hurt?”

You admit he plays the caring boyfriend card well. You see why Emilia fell for him in the first place.

“N-no,” you stutter, wishing the earth would swallow you whole.

Luckily, the rest of his family is too far ahead to see. It would have been doubly awful to have Seokjin’s perfect ex bear witness to your humiliation.

Turning your palms over in his, Seokjin slides both hands to your elbows. “Can you stand?” he asks, pulling you up. “Test your weight on your ankle.”

“My ankle is fine,” you grumble, but oblige.

Slowly, you place weight on your leg and although it feels fine, you notice your leggings are ripped. Your knee is bleeding, but otherwise you seem okay. Noticing the blood, Seokjin’s frown deepens.

Shifting to stand before you, he lowers himself again to his knee. “Hop on,” Seokjin says, glancing over his shoulder.

You stare down at him, open-mouthed. “Huh?”

“Hop on.” Seokjin pats his back. “How else are you going to get to the car?”

“With my… feet?”

He scowls. “You’re bleeding, Y/N. And your palms are all scratched up. There’s a first aid kit in the backseat – I can clean you up there.”

Ignoring how your stomach flutters, you gingerly bend and loop both arms around his neck. Seokjin pushes himself upward, gathering your legs and walking forward. Your nose ends up near his neck, breathing his clean, masculine scent.

Lift is unfair. It’s all too easy to imagine this day in different circumstances. To imagine Seokjin taking care of you, being there for you as your boyfriend. Shifting closer, you close your eyes and enjoy the warmth.

The daydream ends when you exit the forest.

Seeing you, Mrs. Kim drops her backpack. “Y/N!” she gasps, rushing forward. “What happened?”

Capping her water bottle, Seohyun seems caught between fear and amusement. “How… we were just talking about hiking accidents!”

“I’ll get the first aid kit,” Emilia declares. She disappears around the side of one car.

You stifle the urge to bury your face in Seokjin’s shoulder. “I’m fine,” you say as he comes to a stop. “Really.”

Marching to the trunk of one car, Seokjin turns around to set you on the edge. Kneeling before you, he removes your sneaker and peels your legging upward.

“Here you go.” Emilia appears, a first aid kit in hand.

Seokjin accepts this without comment. Over his shoulder you mouth, thank you, to her. Smiling fleetingly, Emilia retreats to stand beside Jaesuk. Mr. Kim shoos everyone away to give you some privacy.

Removing a water bottle from his backpack, Seokjin pours this over your knee. You hiss and jerk back.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, soothing your calf with his thumb. “This’ll sting.”

“A little late,” you complain, but the barb is half-hearted.

Gripping the edge of the trunk, you watch Seokjin clean your skin with a damp cotton ball. The pain soon dulls, replaced with soft pressure of his hand on your leg. Seokjin bends closer, his breath warm while blowing dirt away from the wound.

Looking upward, Seokjin pauses at whatever he sees on your face. A beat passes, then two, until he withdraws.

“That should be good enough until we get home.”

Dazed, you blink. “Oh. Right. Thanks.”

Seokjin stands, watching you roll down your legging and slip on your sneaker. When you wince, he offers an arm and helps you towards the car. George holds the door open, shutting it behind you to move to the driver’s seat.

Seohyun hooks up her phone, glancing over her shoulder from the passenger seat. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” she says miserably. “I feel like I caused this.”

Confused, you buckle your seat belt. “Oh? Did you place a rock directly on the trail behind me?”

“No, but I was going on and on about accidents, and –”

“It wasn’t your fault,” says Seokjin, entering from the other side. He shuts the door. “But if you waste more time sitting here, it will be your fault if Y/N gets gangrene.”

“Okay, now you’re being ridiculous,” you complain. “I’m not even bleeding.”

George places the car into drive and Seohyun rolls her eyes. “Mom was right. Seokjin has always been way too protective for his feelings to be anything but romantic.”

Choosing to stay silent, you look out the window. In its reflection, you catch sight of Seokjin watching you from the next seat. Unbidden, your heart skips a beat.

For a moment, you consider what everyone has been saying. You remember the day you broke your foot in high school. You remember it clearly, because it was the first night you dreamed of Seokjin. Before that, he was just a friend.

After …

You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he touched you, the way he insisted on getting you help. It was the first step down a long path of falling in love with him.

And a small, tiny voice whispers that maybe – just maybe – his mom and sister have a point. Maybe they saw things that day that went over your head. As soon as you think this though, you dismiss it. Obviously, Mrs. Kim says now it was fate. It’s confirmation bias, since she thinks you and Seokjin are currently dating.

And yet, you continue to watch Seokjin in the window’s reflection. The sting of your knee has receded, but the prospect of him feeling nothing for you is somehow the worse wound.

By dinnertime, it’s a struggle to keep your eyes open. The morning latte was ages ago, and the glass of wine after hiking doesn’t help. Once the last course at dinner clears, you stifle another yawn and Seohyun catches your eye.

“Y/N, will you please go to bed?” she says, dropping her fork. “You’re making me tired.”

Immediately, you straighten. “I’m fine!”

“Mom.” Seokjin politely removes his napkin from his lap. “What are the plans for tonight?”

Mrs. Kim takes a sip of her port. “Nothing, really. I think your dad wanted to watch that new action movie.”

Mr. Kim grunts in agreement.

“The one we saw in theatres last fall?” asks Jaesuk. “That was a good one.”

“I’ve been wanting to watch,” Emilia adds.

Seohyun shrugs. “I guess I can join, too.”

“Great.” Pushing his chair back, Seokjin takes your hand. “Y/N and I are wiped. We’re going to bed.”

“Hey!” Seohyun gasps. “You tricked us.”

“Get some sleep,” calls Mrs. Kim.

Seokjin leads you from the dining room, dropping a kiss to his mom’s hair as he passes. His other hand remains in yours, pulling you through the foyer and up the staircase.

“Was I that obvious?” you ask, sheepish.

Seokjin does a double take at you. “Oh, you mean – was your yawning that obvious? Yes, Y/N. Pretty sure the space station will message any second about the morse code.”

“Message them back and tell them no one watches for free. Not even astronauts.”

“W-ow. You run a tight ship, Y/N.”

“It’s called knowing your self-worth,” you sniff, following him down the hall. “You should try it.”

“I do know my self-worth. If you’d like, we can Google it right now – hey-o!” Seokjin cries, holding up a hand for you to high five.

Ignoring him, you walk into the room. Seokjin chuckles and follows, shutting the door behind you. Holding the vanity, you bend and undo a shoe strap. You’ll never forget the first time you visited – Mrs. Kim asked you to leave your shoes in the hall overnight. You were confused before learning the staff clean their shoes every day so they can wear them to dinner.

Fumbling with the clasp, you kick helplessly and hope the shoe gives up before you do.

“Hang on,” Seokjin sighs. Again, he kneels before you – this is becoming a habit. “Put your foot on my knee.”

You stare as though he’s grown a second head. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you take off your shoes. I thought that was obvious.” He pats his thigh. “Put your foot here.”

Unable to summon the energy to fight, you lift your foot. If Seokjin is surprised by your obedience, he does a good job of hiding it. Bending, he delicately undoes the clasp of your shoe. Dark hair falls in his face while he works.

Seokjin hesitates, one hand on your ankle. He looks up. “I really am sorry about all of this, Y/N.”

Your heart thumps, and it takes a second longer for your brain to catch up.

His lips twist. “First, I lied to you. Then, I asked you to lie to my family. And now… you’re hurt because of me.” He looks down. “This was an awful idea, and I’m just… sorry, Y/N. Say the word and I’ll drive you home. I’ll explain everything to my family. No matter how awkward.”

“Hey,” you murmur. Reaching down, you pull Seokjin upward to stand.

Seokjin towers over you, looking slightly pathetic.

“It’s okay,” you say gently. “Really. Am I thrilled by some of your choices? No. Definitely not. But do I understand?” Slowly, you exhale. “Yeah. I unfortunately do.”

He seems to war with something internally but nods. “That’s because you’re a saint.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

Seokjin chuckles, and you smile. “Besides,” you say, holding up both palms. “I’m fine. Barely a scratch from earlier – see?”

Taking your hand, he studies your palm longer than medically necessary. “So…” He looks at you. “What does this mean, Y/N? Are you saying you’ll stay the week, or…?”

“Will I stay here and pretend that we’re dating? Sure.”

Seokjin groans and tips his head back. “God. That sounds so sad.”

Laughing, you take a step closer. Reaching for him, you slide both hands into his hair and lower his face. His lashes flutter, staring down at you.

“Don’t worry,” you say quietly. “I could never think less of you, Seokjin Kim.”

His throat works as he swallows. “I bet you say that to all the guys.”

“No – I really don’t.”

Dropping your hands, you step backwards. Shakily, you inhale and try to forget the feeling of his skin beneath your palms.

“So,” you say. “We have a full week of couple activities ahead.”

Seokjin nods, and you fall into the rhythm of unpacking. Moving around the room, you ask what he’s been up to lately and let Seokjin chatter about work. The events of today crash over you without warning, leaving you emotionally and physically drained.

This is probably why you accept so fast when he offers to take the couch. Grabbing your pajamas, you lock yourself in the bathroom to wash your face. When you emerge, you all but leap into the giant bed.

Seokjin disappears into the bathroom soon after, and you struggle to stay awake. Sometime after the shower starts though, you drift off, falling asleep before he can return.

A cacophony greets you the next morning. People call the city noisy, but those sounds you’re used to. What you’re not used to is the sound of two birds having a full-blown tiff outside your window. In response, you roll over and stick your head beneath a pillow.

Easy to do since you have the bed to yourself. Realizing this, you slowly peer out from under the pillow at the couch.

Empty.

Unease pricks your stomach. Seokjin did sleep here last night – didn’t he? As soon as you think this, you notice the mussed blanket and pillow. Okay, so he slept here at some point, even if he’s gone now.

Rolling onto your back, you unplug your phone from the wall. 8:04 AM. After ten minutes of scrolling, you manage to push yourself into a seated position. Eventually, nature calls loud enough that you roll from bed. With face washed and teeth brushed, you feel marginally ready to start the day.

The couch is still empty. Frowning, you walk towards the window and pull back the curtain. Seokjin could have gone on a run – or maybe, chimes a little voice in your head, he realized how silly this is and went to tell everyone the truth. Maybe he went to confess his feelings to Emilia. Maybe Jaesuk and Seokjin went to go duel before dawn.

Releasing the curtain, you head for the shower. This is why you don’t talk to people before coffee. Stepping under the spray, you tilt your head and let hot water sluice down your back. Despite your best efforts, the shower unfortunately proves a great place to overthink.

Again and again, you rehash the events of yesterday. The look on Seokjin’s face when his mom said you were dating. Hise expression asking you to stay. The way he looked while dabbing your knee with a cotton ball. For so long, you’ve survived by shoving your feelings aside. It’s been a long time since you considered what Seokjin felt for you.

Twenty years of history point you towards nothing. But then, you’ve had feelings for him just as long and never told him. Sighing, you finish washing and step from the shower. The safest course of action is to do nothing and yet, the thought leaves an itch in your brain.

Again, you remind yourself, all you can do is take his words at face value. Seokjin asked you to be his fake girlfriend, not his real one. That’s all this is. Anything more leads to a slippery slope you might not return from.

Wiping steam from the mirror, you realize you left your clothes in the other room. Wrapping a towel around your torso, you crack open the door.

Holy fuck.

Seokjin has returned. Well, that much is obvious because he’s standing in the middle of the room dressed in navy sweats and… nothing else.

Mouth dry, you watch him bop along to a song on his ear pods. You try – and fail – not to gape at the way his shoulders narrow to the sharp v of his waist. The last guy you hooked up with was a definite gym rat, full of muscles made mainly for show. Seokjin is hot without trying. His biceps flex when he grabs a t-shirt, frowning into the mirror – and meeting your gaze.

“Ahh!” Seokjin yells, the t-shirt whipping away as he turns.

“Ahh!” you return, stumbling backwards. Clutching your towel, you nearly trip over a different t-shirt lying on the floor.

Seokjin braces himself on the wardrobe. “WHAT ARE – hang on, shit,” he swears, yanking out his air pods. “You’re, uh – Y/N. You’re here?”

“Yep,” you say, your voice way too high. “I was in the shower,” you add, jerking a thumb over your shoulder.

Seokjin follows the gesture, only to snag on your body. Too late you remember you’re in only a towel. Before now, this fact seems to have eluded him. Seokjin openly stares, not bothering to hide his appraisal. Heat trails each place his gaze lingers until the bird argument outside resumes – this time, at twice the volume.

The spell breaks. “Sorry,” you blurt, rushing to grab your clothes. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I – I wasn’t. I was on a run.”

“Okay,” you squeak, edging around him. Slamming the door shut, you collapse against it. “Fuck,” you hiss.

On the other side, you hear Seokjin utter the same. Eyes wide, you turn your head to stare at the wood.

Coincidence. Or he was swearing because of how awkward that was, not because he was also struck dumb by the sight of you mostly naked. Right?

Your head hits the door with a thunk. You should have taken Seokjin up on his offer to drive you home yesterday. Not even one day has passed and you’re already overthinking this. Worse, you can’t stop rehashing the events of last year. Seokjin never answered your question about why he hasn’t reached out to you since December.

Suddenly, you still as realization dawns. Seokjin and Emilia broke up in December. You know they were still together on his birthday, which means they broke up after.

What if… Emilia saw you in that hallway? What if she broke up with Seokjin because she suspected something between you? That would make her the victim. Granted, she didn’t have to go and date Seokjin’s brother, but it would explain her discomfort around you. It would explain why she seems to flinch at every mention of your shared past with Seokjin.

If that’s true, then it means their breakup was partly your fault. Of course, you know this wouldn’t be your fault alone. If their relationship had been solid, it could have withstood a moment of jealousy. Still, the thought lingers as you get dressed, entering the bedroom to find Seokjin has gone.

You continue to think about this during breakfast, watching the way Emilia interacts with the rest. By the end of the meal, you’ve learned nothing certain. If anything, you find yourself reaching the conclusion that whatever the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Not when what’s done is done.

Seokjin and Emilia are no longer dating. Now, she’s with Jaesuk. And you’re here to provide Seokjin platonic support.

Nothing about this has changed, so you need to concentrate on the task at hand. Something you can do, even if the cost is one you pay in your own heartache.

Mrs. Kim passes out individual itineraries after breakfast, resulting in a swift wave of nostalgia. Your own family would fit in well with Jimin’s friends, planning everything the day of and flying by the seat of their pants. Kim family vacations were a dream come true for you growing up, since Mr. and Mrs. Kim always had things under control.

Mr. Kim may have been the one born into money, but Mrs. Kim is no shrinking violet. Her mother raised her by herself; Mrs. Kim finished law school while working odd jobs, eventually rising to the rank of Chief Legal Officer at the Kim Corporation. It was something of a scandal when she announced she and Mr. Kim had wed, and she would be transitioning to the non-profit sector. One time at dinner, she confided in you with a wink this had been her goal from the start.

The entire week is planned down to the minute, with ‘free time’ scheduled for several days. Seokjin stares in dismay at all the events he’s been signed up for until you gently take his paper and fold it in yours.

Today is simple enough: the local farmer’s market, then lunch. Dinner tonight is just family, but tomorrow you’ll be joined by dinner guests. Thursday is a cocktail party, and then Saturday evening is the main event. You notice the Astors listed only for Saturday, which eases some of your tension.

“I’ll drive Y/N and I,” Seokjin says once breakfast is over. Standing, he scoops a pair of keys from the bowl. “We’ll meet the rest of you there.”

Seohyun waves from the coffee pot, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. When Emilia enters with Jaesuk, Seoyun pointedly turns around and brings her coffee to the porch.

Noticing, you can’t help your guilty conscience. “Seohyun seems mad,” you remark to Seokjin as you climb the stairs.

Seokjin glances at the back porch. His lips thin. “Yeah. I think… the situation feels more personal for her. One of her friends dated an ex back in college, and it led to a lot of drama. I don’t think they stayed friends, so she feels bad for me.”

“Oh,” you murmur. You, too, lost a friend during college when she slept with your boyfriend. “I get that. In some ways, losing a friend is harder.”

As you enter the room, Seokjin opens the closet. “I don’t need her pity, though,” he calls from inside. “I’m fine with the situation. And besides, it’s not the same.”

“Is it not?”

“No!”

Wisely choosing to stay silent on the matter, you sit on the sofa and wait for him to change. Seokjin appears a moment later in a cream shirt and slacks, a jean jacket in hand. Well, fuck you, too, then.

Seokjin pauses, squinting at himself in the mirror. “It’s not,” he continues. “Seohyun was still in love with her ex. I’m not.”

Your brows shoot upward. “Oh, no? This whooole situation” – you wave a hand – “would beg to differ.”

Seokjin meets your gaze in the mirror. “It’s not the same. I don’t… think Emilia and I were ever really in love.”

You take a moment to digest this. “Okay, now you’re being ridiculous.”

His expression tightens. “Do you really think someone in love with me could have fallen so fast for Jaesuk? Do you think I could have–” Abruptly, he cuts himself off.

Curious, you stare, but he doesn’t continue. Searching for a way to prod without being obvious, you inhale and a door slams downstairs.

“Y/N! Seokjin!” Jaesuk calls up. “We’re heading out!”

Jolted into motion, Seokjin pulls on his coat. “Coming!” he calls. To you, he murmurs, “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”

Mind reeling, you follow him down the stairs. You didn’t imagine it, did you – the way Seokjin seemed on the verge of saying something important?

And what about the other thing he just said – that he never loved Emilia? Frustration chokes the many emotions roiling within you. That was the only thing about this week which made sense. If Seokjin still was in love with Emilia, it would make sense why you’re here. It would make sense why he said nothing when his family assumed you were dating.

It would not make sense if he did all those things and is over his ex. If… Seokjin doesn’t love Emilia and never did.

By the time you reach the car, you’ve decided against calling Seokjin out. Instead, you’ve delusionally convinced yourself nothing between you has changed. You agreed to stay this week and pretend to be dating. The why doesn’t matter.

Except – what if it does?

Pushing away the thought, you buckle your seatbelt and realize Seokjin has taken this time to commandeer the stereo. A playlist called Reel Love blares, comprised of songs about love and fishing.

You shoot Seokjin a look, and he bites down on his lip to keep from laughing. For now, you tell yourself it’s enough to have your friend again. Concentrating on this fact, you lean your head to the window and watch the scenery pass.

Rumbling into town, you find yourself in desperate need of some fresh air. Seokjin has the type of presence which grows to fit whatever container he rests in. A gaseous human, if you will. Stepping from the car, you take several breaths to wash away the after-effects of proximity.

Closing the door, you survey the town. Bear’s Nook is sleepy during the edge seasons, dead in the winter, and vibrant in summer, like so many towns along the lakeshore. Right now, it’s starting to wake up, but crowds won’t show up in full force until June.

Only the locals and families like Seokjin’s arrive this time of year. People mosey in and out of the storefronts, although the main farmer’s market is in a warehouse on Main Street. George seems to be sticking around, dropping the rest of the family off in front of the market.

Seohyun shivers in short sleeves, woefully unprepared. “Race you,” she blurts, darting for the entrance.

Shaking her head, Mrs. Kim takes her husband’s arm. The entire group moves down the sidewalk, entering the market in a loose line. Stalls stretch the length of the warehouse full of fruits, vegetables, and all the craft goods you could want.

Seokjin and Mr. Kim drift towards a fishing table, and Seohyun calls her mom over to a produce stand. Despite most of the cooking being done by the staff, Mrs. Kim still enjoys preparing a few dishes each week. You drift past them both, unsure what you’re looking for as you start to wander.

At the end of the next row, your phone buzzes. Fishing it from your purse, you see Jimin’s name. Frowning, you swipe.

Jimin: how long did it take for Seokjin to ask if we were dating [10:20 AM]

Jimin: on a scale of one (first thing he asked) to ten (still hasn’t) [10:21 AM]

Coming to a stop at a candle stand, you text back.

Y/N: You little sneak [10:22 AM]

Y/N: …about a minute in [10:22 AM]

Jimin: HA [10:23 AM]

Jimin: knew it [10:23 AM]

Y/N: You knew what? [10:23 AM]

Jimin: Y/N, please. It’s obvious that man has feelings for you [10:23 AM]

Y/N: Jimin, noooo [10:24 AM]

Y/N: You saw him for ten seconds [10:24 AM]

Y/N: It’s not like that, I promise [10:24 AM]

Y/N: Believe me [10:24 AM]

Jimin: …. [10:25 AM]

Jimin: no [10:25 AM]

You’re frantically typing something to the effect of that’s not how friendship works when you notice someone hovering nearby. Glancing from your phone, you realize Emilia is watching from a coffee stand. Meeting your gaze, she smiles and waves you over.

After a moment’s hesitation, you return your phone to your pocket. Reluctantly joining the line, you pretend to study the coffee board.

“So.” Emilia exhales, glancing sideways. “This is awkward, right?”

Startled, you face her. While Emilia continues to smile, you can see the forced tightness around her eyes.

“Well…” You shrug. “I wasn’t going to call it out, but since you mention it…”

She laughs, the sound bright. When she and Seokjin started dating, you thought her laugh was fake, but no – that’s just how she sounds. You suppose if you had been brought up with a silver spoon in your mouth, you might also laugh like a Disney princess.

Immediately, you deflate. You shouldn’t be mean to her. But then again, the last time you checked, there were no guidelines about how to act with the girlfriend of your fake boyfriend’s brother, who used to date your fake boyfriend.

Seokjin is right. Saying it out loud is just sad.

“Did you… know I met Jaesuk before Seokjin?”

That captures your attention.

You blink. “No. I didn’t know that.”

She nods, lost in thought. “He was a counselor at my summer camp. I was seventeen and Jaesuk was in college, so of course, nothing happened.” A soft laugh. “He barely even noticed my existence.”

“Ah.”

The line moves forward, and you take a small step.

Emilia isn’t done. “We had this moment, though… at the end of the summer. My camp boyfriend broke up with me for Jennie Sarasota. Jaesuk found me crying behind the kayaks and told me I was too good for that idiot. It was the first time a man said that to me,” she says. “My dad is a traditional guy. He’s… well, he’s not very nice.”

Again, the line moves. Stopping closer to the kiosk, you face Emilia fully. “Why are you telling me this?” you ask. “Is this… some kind of explanation for why you cheated on Seokjin?”

Emilia’s eyes widen, and her gaze darts around. People from their world always worry about who might overhear. To be fair, you did just say the quiet part out loud.

“Y/N,” she whispers. “I didn’t cheat on Seokjin. And that’s not what I was trying to tell you.” Her face scrunches. “What I felt for Jaesuk at camp wasn’t real. It was a childish crush on a guy I didn’t know.”

“So…”

“So,” she huffs. “I’m trying to say that when I met Seokjin, I didn’t know he was related to Jaesuk. The last name Kim is pretty common.”

“Mm.” Another person pays, and the line moves again. “And then, once you realized who Jaesuk was…?”

Emilia is silent. Eventually, she exhales. “The first time I met Jaesuk was the night of Seokjin’s birthday party. Do you remember that?”

It feels like a trick question, so you simply nod.

“Yeah,” Emilia murmurs, also lost in thought. “Seokjin had mentioned him before, but Jaesuk was always working or too busy to meet. When he walked through the door, I was stunned. And then… well, I decided to put him from my mind.”

“Mhm.”

Her lips flatten. “It’s true.”

The final person orders and leaves, leaving the two of you. Stepping up to the register, you order your usual iced latte and move to the end. Emilia follows, hitching her Birkin bag up her arm.

“All I’m saying,” she continues, determined, and you fight back an eye roll. “Is that I can understand how it happened. Thinking you felt one way for someone, only to realize you felt another.”

Sharply, you look at her.

Emilia stares back at you, unflinching, and you have to hand it to her, she doesn’t back down. Again, you consider Seokjin’s confession. This is about more than just Emilia dating Jaesuk. Human beings are complicated, and feelings are never clean-cut. Just because Emilia is with Jaesuk and seems happy doesn’t mean she’s enjoying the idea of you dating Seokjin.

Still, any way you respond would be tinged with bitterness, so you merely shrug. “I guess.”

The barista finishes your coffee and places it on the counter. Accepting this, you turn, intending to leave but Emilia stops you again.

“You know,” she says lowly. “I always suspected Seokjin had feelings for you.”

Her words are like being doused in cold water. Protestations rise to your lips like no, he doesn’t and sounds like projection, but you say nothing. Because based on what Emilia knows, she’s correct.

“Even before his birthday,” she says, her grip tight on her coffee. “I knew it was more than just friendship.”

“If you say so.”

“People talk about their friends. But Seokjin never talked about you. Ever. He was so, so careful to keep you separate.”

This does surprise you, but you can’t afford to react.

“I’m not bitter,” she adds, and you know she thinks that's true. “If anything, I think this might be fate. Right?” To her credit, her voice softens. “Jaesuk and I met so long ago, and now we’ve reconnected. Meanwhile, Seokjin has wanted you for so long, and now he finally has you. Maybe… oh, I don’t know. Maybe things had to happen this way for us to be happy.”

By now, you’re practically vibrating with suppressed anger. You hate when people imply that bad things happen for a reason. Sometimes that’s true but oftentimes, it’s an excuse for the speaker to pass on accountability. Whirling around, you step closer and feel a perverse sense of satisfaction when Emilia’s eyes widen.

“No,” you spit out. “I don’t think things had to be this way. I don’t think the fact that Seokjin and I are dating cancels out the fact that you’re now dating his brother. I don’t think any of this absolves you of what – of guilt? Is that what you want?”

Emilia’s face flushes. “No!”

“It doesn’t matter if Seokjin felt something for me. He chose you. He wanted you. Everything you just said is pointless because Seokjin wanted you to be his girlfriend. And you left him for Jaesuk. It’s crappy that you’re blaming the breakup on something he never even said that he wanted!”

Her mouth opens, intending to respond, but you decide you don’t care. Everything you’ve repressed bubbles upward, and you no longer trust yourself to have this conversation without saying something hurtful. Taking a page out of Seohyun’s book, you turn on your heel and push into the crowd.

Either you walk fast enough to lose her, or Emilia doesn’t follow. The crowd breaks after a while and you stop at the last stall, sagging against the counter. It takes several moments for your pulse to steady.

Although you meant what you said, it probably wasn’t the best way to deal with Emilia. A sigh leaves you. While you understand where she’s coming from, her pretending everything is fine isn’t helpful. The events of the past year caused a lot of hurt – you witnessed this firsthand.

Oddly enough though, you feel lighter. Devastating, to realize your therapist is right, and ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them go away. Granted, you didn’t need to explode on Emilia the way that you did. You’ll have to apologize at some point. It was infuriating, though, listening to her go on about how great things are, when you know she’s the reason Seokjin is on edge.

Footsteps sound behind you.

Glancing over your shoulder, you see Seohyun approaching. “Happy my parents’ anniversary,” she sings, shoving a plastic bag into your arms. A colorful, crocheted hat spills out. “I saw this and thought of you. You and your beautiful soul.”

“Don’t you Jesse McCartney me before lunch,” you manage to laugh. Removing the hat, you shove it over your hair. “How does it look? Mesmerizing?”

Seohyun makes a face. “Only a man truly in love would find that appealing.”

As though on cue, Seokjin rounds the corner. The moment he spots you, he does a double take. Walking forward, his grin widens.

“What monstrosity is this?” Seokjin teases. Slipping a hand to either side of your face, he tips your face up to press a kiss to your forehead. “Only you would find something that clashes with literally everything.”

Somewhat stunned, you stare up at him. “I, uh…”

“I bought it for her, asshole,” sighs Seohyun. Watching the two of you, she grins and shakes her head. “What did I say, Y/N?”

Seokjin looks at her, puzzled but – thankfully – before Seohyun can explain, Mrs. Kim appears. “There’s a whole stand of oven mitts,” she says to Seohyun. “We should get a few pairs or–”

Seokjin tugs on your hand. “Come on,” he murmurs. “I want to show you something.”

Wordless, you follow him around the next corner. It hasn’t escaped your notice that his family is no longer around and yet, he still holds your hand. In fact, you’re so busy watching him, you don’t realize where you’re going until Seokjin stops.

“Ta-da!” He gestures at a wooden stall. “What do you think?”

Tearing your gaze away from him, you look at the scene.

“Oh. My. God.”

Seokjin cracks up, watching you take in the garish array of nationalism. Paintings of flags, national monuments, symbolic animals – the stand has it all, entombed in bold colors and patterns. The sight is absolutely horrific, and you’re about to say as much, when a man pops out from behind an easel.

“Are you enjoying that one?” he asks, seeing where you look. “A beauty, right? I tried to encapsulate what I felt while listening to the national anthem.”

“Right,” you croak. Seokjin seems to be holding back tears of laughter. “That’s… that’s what I thought when I saw it. The national anthem, absolutely.”

“I took inspiration from our forefathers.”

“Ah. Well… here’s hoping they don’t ask for it back.”

The artist pauses, then barks out a laugh. “Good one! I’ll have to remember that. Now, all the small paintings are three hundred, the medium ones are a thousand, and this piece” – he directs your attention to a tapestry-sized canvas – “is three thousand. My pride and joy.”

Realizing your mouth has fallen open, you shut it.

By this point, Seokjin has composed himself enough to speak. “I’ve been looking for a piece for my entryway for years,” he muses. “This speaks to me.”

You elbow him – hard – in the ribs, and Seokjin wheezes, but the man doesn’t notice.

“Good eye, sir,” he says eagerly.

When he turns around, you lean sideways. “What are you doing?” you hiss.

“Browsing,” Seokjin whispers back, his eyes alight.

“Are you really going to buy that?”

“Honestly? I’m considering it, just so it doesn’t hang in someone else’s home.”

“Stop,” you whisper-laugh, trying to school your expression. “I feel bad! This man clearly has passion for the arts –”

“And likely, the conservative party.”

“–and he put a lot of time into this!”

Seokjin shrugs. “Define a lot.”

Before you can protest further, the artist returns. Seokjin hems and haws a bit before vowing to come back tomorrow with more money.

“You’re ridiculous,” you groan when he leads you away.

Seokjin wiggles both eyebrows. “Who’s the one dating me?”

You almost correct him but look away at the last moment. “About that,” you say slowly. “Emilia… kind of cornered me earlier. She wanted to talk about us.”

Seokjin stops so abruptly you nearly walk past him. When you realize this and turn, he seems slightly nauseous.

“Did she…” He swallows. “What did she say?”

“She didn’t suspect this was… fake,” you whisper, glancing around – oh god, now you’re doing it. “If that’s what you’re thinking.”

Seokjin blinks, his expression inscrutable. “Oh – okay. Right. What did she want to talk about, then?”

The two of you begin walking through the stalls. Sipping your coffee, you take comfort in the familiar rush that it brings.

“She wanted to talk about how… she always thought you had feelings for me.”

“Ah.”

“I kind of went off on her.”

Seokjin looks at you, startled. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” You frown. “She was pissing me off. Going on and on about how it was all ‘meant to be.’ She said that you always liked me, and maybe that’s why things didn’t work out with you two. As though nothing was her fault. I mean, is it so hard to take some accountability? To admit that your actions have hurt people?”

Seokjin says nothing, continuing to walk alongside you. His brow is furrowed though, clearly deep in thought. You turn down an empty row of stalls – the farmer’s market is only half-full, given the season. It grants a semblance of privacy when he clears his throat.

“Y/N…” Seokjin hesitates and then stops. “What if… Emilia wasn’t wrong?”

“About what?”

“About… I don’t know. Did I ever tell you how we broke up?”

“Well, no. You just said that you did.”

Seokjin firmly meets your gaze. “I was the one who ended things.”

Time seems to slow again.

Slowly, the puzzle pieces slot themselves into place. Honestly, you aren’t sure why you didn’t realize sooner. Well, you know why. When Seokjin called you last week, he sounded upset. He sounded like he was in love with someone. You agreed to this mostly out of pity, assuming she had broken his heart. But if that’s not the case…

“Why?” you blurt.

Seokjin blinks. “Why, what?”

“Why did you break up with her?”

His gaze narrows. “Come on, Y/N,” he says, voice dropping when he takes a step closer. “Don’t you remember December?”

Your body goes still. Of course, you remember. You didn’t think that he did. Or if he did, you assumed it was something Seokjin wanted to ignore. The same way you haven’t talked about any other time you grew close.

Seeing your expression, his lips twist. “I almost kissed you that night in the bar. On my birthday.”

“I… know.”

“And you don’t think that was a red flag for my relationship?”

“We’d both been drinking,” you say, unconvinced. “It was a weird time for me. You were upset, and…”

His laugh is hollow. “That’s what I told myself at first, too. But then… I realized that even if all that was true, it wouldn’t have mattered if I loved her. So, I broke up with Emilia.”

You stare up at him, the events of the night rearranging themselves. You realize you’ve been thinking about that night all wrong. It wasn’t the night Seokjin almost kissed you, but the night he realized he didn’t love Emilia.

Before you can respond, Mr. Kim and Jaesuk walk around the corner. Emilia is right behind them, still sipping her coffee. She doesn’t meet your gaze, browsing the empty stalls instead.

“There you are,” says Jaesuk. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere. Mom wants to head to lunch. Are you ready to go?”

Seokjin watches you for another moment, then nods. Mrs. Kim and Seohyun meet you at the front doors, and Emilia joins them to show Mrs. Kim something. As soon as she does, Seohyun slows her pace to walk alongside you.

Noticing this, your stomach sours. Knowing what you know now, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve been unfair. From Emilia’s perspective, Seokjin broke up with her and immediately asked you out. Sure, the whole Jaesuk thing is still weird, but… possibly things are more complicated than you realized.

Glancing at Seohyun, you poke her in the arm. “Hey.”

She shoves the rest of a donut into her mouth. “If you’re hoping to trade the hat, I’m sorry. No takebacks.”

“No, it’s not that. Listen, you… should ease up on Emilia.”

Seohyun shoots you a look of betrayal. “Not you and Seokjin on my case!”

“This is just from me,” you sigh. “Nothing to do with Seokjin. I just… think this whole situation is awkward and multiple people are at fault. Not just her.”

Seohyun considers. Her gaze flicks to Emilia walking with Jaesuk.

“Well,” she grumbles. “It’s hard not to be mad. She hurt Seokjin. I’m mad at Jaesuk, too,” she adds with a scowl. “He should never have even considered asking her out.”

“Maybe. But then, you should probably also be mad at Seokjin. He’s the one who broke up with Emilia.”

She pauses. “Seokjin broke up with her?”

You nod, your suspicions confirmed. As much as it pains you to admit, Emilia has been classy in this regard. She could have aired Seokjin’s business to gain sympathy but chose to stay silent.

Seohyun thinks for a moment, her face shifting. “To tell you the truth, I never liked Emilia with Seokjin,” she admits.

“Why not?”

“They just didn’t… fit. Too similar, I think. What’s weird though, is that she totally fits with Jaesuk.”

“You should ease up on her,” you repeat.

She rolls her eyes. “Alright, fine, Miss Morality.”

“That’s a terrible superhero name.”

“Oh, yeah? What would you be, then?”

“I know what I’d be,” Seokjin announces while joining your duo. You start, wondering how much he overheard. “Probably something like World Wide Handsome. WWH. Swooping down to save the world with –”

“Hair gel and a mirror?” Seohyun cuts in. “Because that’s what that sounds like.”

The sound of their bickering follows you into the restaurant. Every time you visit Bear’s Nook you eat at the same, cozy restaurant in the middle of downtown. Seohyun chooses the seat beside Emilia to sit in, and you note Emilia’s look of surprise when Seohyun asks her a question.

It’s easy to forget how wealthy Seokjin’s family is. If it weren’t for the lavish lake house and personal driver, today is the type of day you’d have on your own. Today marks the last time you’ll be alone, though. Small dinner parties are planned for tomorrow and Wednesday, followed by the larger cocktail party on Thursday.

Everything has moved so fast, you haven’t even considered what the rest of this week will look like. For all Seokjin’s city life revolves around academia, he’s still a part of his family’s legacy here. Emilia fit into all that – she’s an Astor, after all. You’re a no one, especially without your fancy consulting job.

Before you can spiral any further, Seokjin places a menu before you. “I asked at the front, and they said they’ll still do the pecan pancakes if you want them.”

Your stomach flips. “You… asked about my order?”

“Of course,” Seokjin says, as if it’s the only answer. “I didn’t forget.”

Something about his tone makes you think he means more than your brunch order. You try to refocus on his family but again, a single thought rises to the surface.

Seokjin broke up with Emilia. He broke up with her after he almost kissed you. And now… well now, you wonder if your main rule has been broken. Maybe not everything Seokjin says should be taken at face value.

Maybe there are things you still don’t know about him, after all.

Author’s Note: thank you for reading so far! Continued in Part 2, here.

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