#real critter hours at the orange orchard

[palepigeon]

Have an orange………… m&m.

[palepigeon]

this post wasnt written by an ant i think it was vertin themselves

Fck, I broke the orange

[palepigeon]

Oh oh! What about Critter and Ms. NewBabel? How would that go?

Whether or not it went well depends on who you ask! If you asked Ms. NewBabel, she'd say it was an enlightening experience and will ask for advice on how to gain Critter's trust.

..If you ask Critter, though..

They'd say that Ms. NewBabel is the one who should be put on a leash.

[palepigeon]

critter is looking a little too cunty in this current wip and I fear she’s too dangerous to be kept alive. but also..

carrying out schneider’s will @hammerbonk you called it

[palepigeon]

Familiar; Like someone I used to be?

alternative title; a cat hisses at a dog because of voices in their head.

If there's one thing Critter hated more than anything, it's pity.

Which kind of sucks, because that's all she gets from people in the suitcase.

Especially Sonetto.

It could be seen as her simply trying to be as helpful as possible - That's kind of her thing, after all- such a loyal puppy. But there's something more to it than that when it comes to Critter, and while they have no idea what exactly it is; they get the feeling it has to do with their appearance.

.. Not just that they're shorter and overall much smaller that her, either. Though that's another mystery. Why the hell do they look so.. Small? Like they barely eat anything but whatever is left after being split amongst 11 siblings. It's not like they didn't take care of themselves before this new.. Form. Quite the opposite! They were a very healthy carbuncle! Also, they don't have siblings!

It's only when they wandered into the suitcase and ran into Sonetto and Vertin that things changed. Fairytales were wrong; all it took to turn a critter into a human was a good thrashing. No true loves kiss needed. Who would've guessed?

..As much as she teases Sonetto over that incident, it's not like they don't understand why she did what she did - Once again, a loyal puppy protecting the one it's devoted to. Anyone would react that way to a large, unknown carbuncle standing in their way.

Regardless, Critter has made it very clear that looks can be very deceiving. They've said it many times;

’ As sweet as it is that you wish to be my knight in shining armor, you should know I can handle my own in a fight, old woman. ‘

..Old woman? Where did that come from? Why did she say that? Ugh, trying to remember where she gets all these nicknames and smug remarks makes her head hurt. Let alone trying to remember where she got several scars from, scattered along her torso - but oddly concentrated on the left side of her chest.

When did she ever get shot? With her own gun, no less!

..How does she know she got shot? Also, she doesn't even have a gun!

Despite that, it's almost muscle memory when they reach for it, expecting to find a pistol placed securely in a holster strapped to her thigh, barely hidden under red feathers, only to find nothing. It sucks, really. But she supposes if anyone were to have her gun, she'd want it to be Vertin.

..Wait, did VERTIN shoot her?!

“ Oh, mio dio.. “

Critter cradles their head in their hands, deciding to completely ignore the fact that she’s speaking a language she's never even heard again - sliding her hands upwards to tangle her fingers in her light orange hair.

Everything hurts. They can hear their pulse thrumming in their ears, from the heart that they only recently learned is definitely on the wrong side of their rib cage. A health evaluation by the Foundation confirmed that.

And everyone seemed so upset about that.

Vertin especially. What, were they disappointed that they shot the wrong side or something? .. No. No, that's not it. She told Vertin to aim for that side, if it ever came to that. But Critter never told Vertin this, so where did they get all this from? A dream? It feels more like a memory. So certain that it happened - as certain as Critter is that Vertin didn't mean it; Didn't have a choice. Vertin cares about her. Vertin will never forget her. .. Who the hell is she talking about? A voice echoes in the back of her mind, as if the mere memory of that unusual heartbeat on the right summoned it - the memory of bullets, feathers, and bitter oranges. The whole thing nearly gives her a heart attack and snaps her wandering thoughts back on track, if only for a little bit.

‘ ..Can you hear me yet, little critter? ‘

What.

‘ It’d be rather cruel if you were simply ignoring me this whole time. ‘

WHAT?

Oh, oh they are absolutely freaking out. Have they finally lost their mind? Is the splitting headache they have right now just the feeling of their mind completely disintegrating? Why are they having a literal crisis in the kitchen right now??? They just wanted to have an orange, man! Actually, speaking of wanting an orange - Is that cannibalism??

Okay, no - That's not important. Why does that voice sound so familiar? It's soft, smooth - almost flirty - with a heavy accent.

Before they can even think about responding to this oddly familiar voice in their head, they see an equally familiar sight. God, it's just one thing after another, isn't it?

Sonetto, who apparently saw them in distress and came over to help, kneeling down in front of them - looking at them with the same pitiful and concerned expression she always does.

“ Are - Are you okay?! “ She speaks quickly, frantically. “ I - I was on my way to drop off paperwork for the Timekeeper and - “ Sonetto cuts off her unnecessary explanation of what she was doing beforehand, seeming to understand that they are very much not in the mood for it - much to Critter's relief. They see the aforementioned paperwork hastily set down on the counter nearby.

How sweet. She dropped everything to help. If they weren't so overwhelmed by literally everything that's happening right now, they'd tease about this.

‘ Hm. I didn't know the old woman could put her work down. ‘ That fucking voice again.

“ Yeah, yeah. I think.. I think I'm alright. Losing my mind a little bit, sure - But I'm not dying. “ Critter says as casually as they can manage, without a hint of an accent - waving their hand dismissively.

Wait, why would they speak with an accent?

Sonetto furrows her brows, somehow looking even more concerned for them.

“ You.. You are speaking differently. Are you feeling unwell? Should I get the Timekeeper? “

She asks, slowly - almost hesitantly - reaching a hand up to feel their forehead. Critter flinches away from the touch, and Sonetto retracts her hand immediately as if she'd touched a hot stove.

“ What.. ? This is just how I talk. What are you talking about? “

“ No - I mean.. Usually, you sound much more.. “ Sonetto bites the inside of her cheek, trying to find the right way to explain this. “ U - Um.. Smooth? “

Critter raises their brow, silently urging Sonetto to keep talking.

She continues, albeit a bit nervously. “ I - I mean! More relaxed, almost flirty, sometimes. You talk like.. “

The pieces click in their head, slowly - one by one, until the realization crashes on them like.. Like debris from a wall, closing off the easiest way of escape and forcing them to fight like hell with the mysterious, handsome girl she'd only met a few times before—

What the hell is she talking about?!

They groan, head slumping foward as their headache comes back ten times worse. They can distantly hear Sonetto fussing over them, panicking and asking a million questions on their condition, but they can't focus on her words.

No. She's thinking of another voice's words. Is that why that voice sounded so familiar? Because they speak the same exact way without realizing it? A name pops into their head, and it falls out of their mouth naturally - as if they were saying their own name.

“ ..Schneider. “

Sonetto shuts her mouth immediately, eyes wide and lips pressed into a thin line - like she's afraid of speaking up.

..Ah. That seems to have gotten the dog to stop yapping. “ That's what you were trying to say, right? “ Critter stares at her intensely, eyes narrowed. Looking right through her. “ I talk like Schneider. “

There's a beat of silence.

“ ..How.. How do you know that name.. ? “ Sonetto asks, her voice barely above a whisper and not answering the question at all. Bingo.

“ So I was right. “ Critter huffs out a laugh, almost in disbelief. “ Is that why you treat me so well? Not because you care about me? “ They have no idea where this is coming from - why they even know all this - but they can't help but feel a little.. Betrayed, in a way.

“ I - I do care about you! —“

“ You care about Schneider. Whoever the hell that even is. “ They snap - much more aggressively than they should have - if Sonetto's quiet yelp is anything to go by. “ You care that I look so similar to her; That I’m basically the same person. “

Sonetto opens her mouth to defend herself, but finds herself unable to. Because it's true. If it weren't for that, she isn't sure she would've even noticed them when she walked by.

Another realization dawns on them. “ Is this- Is this her jacket, too?! “ They shout, clutching the oversized coat they've been wearing since they got here. They didn't think there was any thought put into giving them this jacket specifically; It was the quickest thing Vertin could grab to cover the very much not clothed carbuncle-turned-human. At least that's what they assumed. They kind of went unconscious not long after their defeat, so they have no idea.

“ ..I'm - I'm sorry, I — “ “ No, you're not. “ Critter cuts her off again, pinching the bridge of their nose with a huff. “ I'm not - I'm not mad at you, Sonetto. I could never be. “ “ I'm just.. Disappointed, I guess? “

They sigh, standing from their chair on wobbly legs. Sonetto goes to reach out and help, but Critter holds their hand up, stopping her dead in her tracks.

“ Don't. Please. “

She nods solemnly. Has she ever heard them sound so.. Sad before? She's almost reminded of a wet cat left out in the rain. Critter's gaze softens slightly, thankful that Sonetto didn't insist on helping them keep their balance. They manage to find it fairly quickly anyways, taking a deep breath.

Calm down. Don’t have a crisis in front of her. Walk away. She doesn't deserve this. She's just grieving in her own way.

“ ..You best get those papers to Vertin. They look important. “ “ Don't - Don't worry about me. I just need a moment. “

Critter mumbles, at least managing to sound much more calm as they make their way to the doorway of the kitchen, lingering there for a moment but refusing to look at Sonetto - who meekly nods and gathers the papers off the table.

For a brief moment, the two of them make eye contact as she hurries past; tail tucked between her legs. They don't say a word as they watch her speed walk down the hallway.

‘ ..That was rather harsh, no? ‘ The voice — Schneider — speaks up again, just when Critter thought they were alone.

“ Silenzio. You are not helping right now. “

[palepigeon]

I want to change Vertin's question that ended her up in the guard house but the one I have is cursed

It's

"Sir... is Miss Constantine a bottom?"

LMAO?? Vertin is asking the real questions..

The answer is definitely yes by the way. They can’t hide the truth.

[palepigeon]

forgetting the dumb little rambles i send to myself via discord only to come across them later and cry my eyes out what the hell

[palepigeon]

Read that as 'emotional support cabbage' so now I imagine Oneself holding Critter like that.

No escape from the lanky old lady who wants to hug lol /lh

Honestly she might let ‘em!! Like if they’ve known each other for a while she’d enjoy it for sure. Might even start purring :]

If she doesn’t know Oneself that well though she will just freeze up and just let this unnervingly tall old lady hold her like a cabbage out of pure fear.

[palepigeon]

“Haha yeah! I’ll just write down the concept I have for this fic with Critter before I nap —“

I wrote the entire thing. It took me two hours. I will post it soon. I am foaming at the mouth

[palepigeon]

Oneself in this what we thinking

oh. OOOH I AM THINKING SO HARD WAIT -

Oneself would look so good in that actually. Like as much as I love Vertin’s outfit Oneself has probably been wearing it for so long 😭

Critter drags Oneself to get new clothes as a treat..

[palepigeon]

More OC yapping

4859:

Inmate Number 4859, or 4859, are a pair of twins, one male and the other female of unknown age stitched together, both becoming one whole body despite even their heads being half of each other; the girl is the left side of the body, and the boy is the right side of the body. The girl can kill anything she touches with all five fingers, while the boy can regrow anything in the same manner.

Kept on Rakuen Island, they escaped in the initial outbreak before being sentenced back there before reaching the Great Fog.

The second uprising, led by Philip Tomo, Maliku Tomo and Kanae Severus, which also freed many others including Saith and Benjamin Iroha Griseo, had successfully freed them.

4859 later joined The Coven, the 'government' of the City of Diianas in the frozen north.

Who knows their birth names? No one does. Locked in their cell, they hid deep in the island, hiding behind the name '4859'.

Due to Paradoxes, they could be either roughly 13 years of age, or over 20 million years old.

WOAHH I LOVE THIS??!! 4859 my beloved ahhh 😭

Super impressed with how extensive your oc lore is I could never.. I just draw my silly little cat-carbuncle girl sometimes as a treat /lh

These are not crumbs you threw a whole loaf of bread at me and I am THRIVING 🙏

[palepigeon]

I am an expert on noticing random things c:

I mean good lord. Some of my own characters have tons of things on them.

Like LP having a robe that has an illustration on the inside of his entire life story with their family

Grhfhfdh that’s such a cool detail though.. I love putting little nods to Schneider in Critter’s design.

Like the thigh strap she has, or the fact that Critter’s shirt is basically the same thing lil Schneider is shown wearing!!

actually Critter is the same type of carbuncle as shown in that flashback sequence - She’s just a much larger one. Also the fact that Critter has scars in the exact places Schneider was shot, but only one or two is actually visible at all times.

[palepigeon]

An edit done by @hammerbonk rjdidjdjkdkdkf

the diss track 😭😭

I can honestly imagine Oneself catching themselves humming it from time to time. Vertin and Sonetto think it’s the original song but it’s actually just the diss track version

[palepigeon]

Critter meeting Bessmert............

About to speedrun the event story because of this ask 🙏🙏 IM COMING PRETTY MYSTERY WOMAN

[palepigeon]

I still cannot stop thinking about how Vertin met Oneself and Sonetto met etto funnily enough

One chose violence the other chose murder

I wonder if this means Critter could go to any mirror and/or surface of water and see the older versions of the Arcanists walk out of them.

Would probably be more like how people think cats see ghosts tbh .. If she looked into a reflective surface with Vertin next to her she’d see Oneself very faintly and just stare intensely. If this happens before she actually meets Oneself she’d be genuinely terrified 😭 ( she’d still be scared after meeting them, but a little less so )

[palepigeon]

Real Critter Angst Hours truly

If you don't mind me yapping about my own OC

LP went through a LOT

Like. Outliving most of his family and even his own wife.

YES YES WE ENCOURAGE OC YAPPING HERE!! Go on, feed the pigeons /lh

Ah, the outliving loved ones scenario.. my favorite flavor of angst <3