#real as fuck which is why i have like 80% blocked at this point LOL

[hellacioushag]

**not sure if i’m blocked, but my post seems to have disappeared so i figured i would post again about this post from @offtorivendell about gwyn's age being problematic when shipping gwynriel:

i’m trying very hard to understand the intent behind this. because reading this whole thing, saying that gwyn is basically a young teen in fae years, sounds like an insinuation that anyone who ships her with az is ok with child abuse/pedophilia. i get you said this take is not to be hurtful and you would be respectful, but this is how it sounds.

let’s say for arguments sake this was a genuine concern when reading. that you are just a concerned gwyn fan who doesn’t want her to be in a compromising relationship. i’ll humor this post as best as i can.

the fact that she talked about how she was not able to participate in the great rite, not because of her age, but because of her location - being remote - leads me to believe she’s old enough to be in a sexual relationship with a fae male. considering the great rite doesn’t pair people up based on their age bracket and it’s just a fun orgy for the fae one can assume she could have paired up with a 20 year old fae, an 80 year old, a 578 year old... so claiming she’s too young for this doesn’t make sense. next.

alis and her nephews are urisks. they are not high fae or river nymphs. they age at a significantly slower rate. that alis quote was pointing out how difficult it is for her species and the high fae to reproduce. it was pointing out why both covet their young. the reason tarquin is considered a young high lord is he’s the youngest one and also he hasn’t had a chance to rule since he was crowned UtM. that’s why they talk about him being idealistic, he’s not used to court politics - which he admits when with feyre. he doesn’t have the cynicism the others have due to his age and time ruling. next.

rhys himself was 28 years of age when the war started 500 years ago. that means cassian, azriel, and mor were all around the same age. they were old enough to fight and have sex. cassian and mor had sex with each other, but no one claims they were too young to be having sex. cassian was in a relationship with a valkyrie, a seasoned warrior, during the war. i haven’t seen anyone write a post about how cassian was a victim of statutory rape. 28 is not a child in their world. next.

if we are putting this creepy feel onto gwynriel, that gwyn is too young for azriel, then we most definitely need to put that title onto feysand, nessian, elriel, elucien, feylin....literally every ship in this universe aside from elain x graysen and feyre x isaac hale (her mortal barn boy in case anyone forgot). having been mortal at one time does not exclude them from the “he’s too old for her” title. they’re all younger than gwyn. wow, what pervs. next.

azriel saved gwyn so there’s a power dynamic... ok so guess that means elriel is out. feysand too since feyre saved all of prythian. guess she’ll have to go to the continent for some lovin’. cassian, sorry nesta saved you so now she holds too much power over you. do you see how bad that argument is? saving someone does not disrupt the power dynamic. especially when these characters are equals. gwyn did not train for months and complete the blood rite not to be considered an equal to azriel. next.

gwyn sounds younger than everyone... ok, but she’s not. she grew up sheltered. her only sexual experience was violent. that’s why she doesn’t read smut as easily as emerie or nesta. reading adventure books does not make her a child. it speaks to her desire to be her own hero, to be a warrior, which she now is. and sorry, but truth teller is a pretentious af name. silver majesty >>> truth teller any day lol. as for the friendship bracelets, sure that was very “tweens at summer camp” moment, but it was to signify that gwyn has found a sisterhood with nesta and emerie. if we’re gonna use this as evidence that gwyn is too young then we can also use nesta making an imaginary friend real (the house) and nesta asking said imaginary friend to make a miniature pegasus. the entire slumber party scene had the tween girl feel to it, but you’re not claiming nesta or emerie as childish...

i don’t care what people ship. you want to ship elain and koschei go for it. you want a thrupple with mor, nesta, and the bone carver fucking have fun! i just don’t think it’s appropriate to make a post to talk about a ship that implies anyone shipping it would be supporting pedophilia. because this is essentially what you are saying. that gwyn is technically a teen in fae years so shipping her with az is problematic. i will give you the benefit of the doubt and say you did not mean to imply this, but it’s a bad take. let people ship what they want in peace.

[safetytank]

long-ass floral drama ahead

after the roaring successes of my Anders DragonAge Did Nothing Wrong & How To Dungeons And Dragons Good presentations, the host of the original had a follow-up DTL night and u KNOW a bitch is incapable of not doing Way Too Much while simultaneously leaving everything to the last minute

so here u go, customers i interacted with while working at one of the local florists between 2017-2018, organized and ranked for ur entertainment

commentary added bc most the slides were just a visual component to a textual joke & i won’t make u all sit through a 10-minute video rendition, u got shit to do

every single older guy cheating on his partner follows exactly the same script, it’s like they were made in a lab

some did manage to break away from the mold tho, usually younger guys asking sheepishly if we had “i’m sorry” balloons (we did) or the following 2 honorable mentions for bringing innovations to the field of cheating on ur wife

imagine using a BIBLE VERSE to try and convince your girl she should take u back bc something something FORGIVENESS

the audacity

the second honorable mention is the very first customer complaint my manager handled after he was hired on back in like 2012, which was a guy whose girlfriend had looked at his credit card statement the day after Valentine’s Day and saw he’d sent 13 other one-dozen rose arrangements so he tried to convince her it must have been a credit card glitch & that he’d call and get it sorted out and my manager was like “lmao fuck no you’re not getting a refund, u made ur bed now lie in it asshole”

number 4 is the time a customer wanted an order wired to chicago for a loved one’s birthday and have it be sent to their job and i was like “oh how nice where do they work” and they were like “the leather museum” and me, internally, thinking “wow like cowboy stuff :)”

it was not cowboy stuff

number three i don’t even give a shit about censoring the name on bc if you know Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life there’s no punishment u could enact upon me that would be greater than having to put up with Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life

this slide is an example of a normal message someone might write on a card that comes in a floral arrangement, like 4-ish lines of text on a little plastic fork that says “happy birthday, love NAME 1 and NAME 2″ or “sorry for your loss, love THE LASTNAME FAMILY”

Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald does not know how cards on floral arrangements work

like damn bitch just send a letter at that point jesus christ

fun fact this was also a wire order so the other florist called us on the phone to be like “uhhhhh is this....correct” and we had to be like “yeah” and they went “ok, cool, just checking, uh, so we had to staple 4 different message cards together to fit all of it” and we were like “yeah bet u did lol”

vickie fucking fitzgerald was a million billion years old and if u saw her name pop up on the caller ID you learned to fear it bc it meant you’d be trapped on the phone for between 10 and 20 minutes listening to her entire life story in between trying to take a gd floral order

one time she wanted a funeral basket sent out of state to FUCKING ALASKA and we’re on the east coast of the united states so we were like “ok well there’s a 4 hour timezone difference and it’s 8am here so they’re not even open yet, we’ll have to wait til 12pm when they open up at 8 and then we can wire it for you so we’ll take down your order and call u back when it’s time to wire it”

yall wanna guess how many times this bitch called back to waste our time before 12pm

VICKIE YOU WENT ON FOR CUMULATIVE HOURS ABOUT HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS DIVORCING YOU AND I’M BEGINNING TO SEE WHY HE MIGHT WANT TO

#2 is of course the dumb horny bullshit, bc it turns out if u order online and the quality control manager isn’t paying A Lot of attention u can slip all kinds of shit into ur card messages (just don’t do the entire fuckin Iliad like VFF up there)

this one gets put in horny jail because of the sheer AUDACITY of contacting someone who has either 1. been broken up with/divorced recently, or worse, 2. THEIR PARTNER FUCKING DIED, and THEN TRYING TO THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING WITH THAT “I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, CATCH ME ON THE REBOUND BABY ;)” HORSESHIT

no comment

this one haunts me in the depths of night and will absolutely be the last thing i see when i close my eyes to slough off this mortal coil

this one yall get every single slide for bc the only reason it lives on in as much detail is due to me hopping on twitter immediately afterwards to preserve the memory while it was still fresh (the caller was not the ghost btw, she was a middle-aged acquaintance of the aforementioned Gay Nigerian Royalty Ghost)

shout out to every stock website i skimmed off for this presentation btw

we stan one gay ghost king (THIS JOKE WORKS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS)

WHY DID HE HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, YOU ASK

i cannot confirm literally any of this information please do not ask me to i was just paraphrasing what was told to me

here’s where we got into the really wild shit

if u ever worked retail u know this feeling

SO THE DELIVERY MANAGER COMES BACK IN THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL

and he’s like “so i walked in there to deliver the orders and the place was DECKED OUT in traditional fabrics, masks on the wall, everyone was dressed very traditionally, and i was like wow cool guess this guy was important” (he did not know about the International CIA Prosecutor stuff) and someone at the funeral home told him “oh yah we had to go all out bc the deceased’s family WERE A BRANCH OF THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY THAT HAD FLED TO THE UNITED STATES SOMETIME IN THE 80′S so obviously u can’t have a royal funeral and skimp on the decorations :)”

artist’s rendition

thank u for enjoying this little trip down memory lane also if u recognize urself or someone u know in any of these stories i blocked ur names out for a reason so don’t fuckin come at me ok

[avauntus]

Supernatural - a retrospective

This is super self-indulgent, and I have so much else I’ve promised-- I owe a long-fic rec post, and ao3 comments, wip work, and that’s just my fandom stuff I’m behind on. *sigh*

But it’s late on a Saturday and now I’ve finished Supernatural, I want to share what I think are my top few eps, and a few other comments. I promise some of this will be different from the “greatest hits” you probably usually see, and I’ll try to make it worth your time. *wry smile*

Look, we have to have categories like: “Most Likely to Live in My Head Rent-Free for the Rest of my Life” and “Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction” that are different from “Favorites,” because that’s just the cursed energy this show has. ;-)

My top five

#5 - 13.01 - “Lost and Found”

Written by: Andrew Dabb | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

In fandom, this is most often referred to as the start of the “Grieving Widower” arc, tongue-in-cheek. Also has Alexander Calvert (Jack) walking around completely in the nude for the first third of the ep. (Neither of these are why this is in my top 5, but he has a good story about wardrobe for his ‘first day.’) 

I didn’t expect much out of this episode the first time I watched it, but I’ve gone over this ‘section’ of the show maybe 3-4 times in my Netflix catch-up, and I watch this one in full every time. From Jack being...not at all what anyone expected and an unsteady vindication, to the stunning cinematography (there’s a post that compares shots to Brokeback Mountain, but I think the shots here might be better), to the sheriff who takes the time to remind her deputy that “...there’s no such thing as ‘weird.’ Everyone’s normal in their own way,” to the slow reveal of exactly how hard the events of the previous night (12x23 - All Along the Watchtower) are hitting Dean and Sam and in different ways...(how long the episode takes to reveal to you how Dean fucked up his hand, and what he was saying when he did. Augh!) The Winchesters are trying to rally, but they have been taking hits for a long time, and the cracks are showing.

 #4 - 15.06 - “Golden Time”

Written by: Meredith Glynn | Directed by: John F. Showalter

Supernatural  has a terrible track record with representation in all stripes. It is infamously consistent in killing off anyone minority, female, or non-White. One of the interesting things about the chaotic meta-narrative of season 15 is you can see the lack of fucks some of the writer’s room had to give about not even being subtle about tearing down that type of ‘White-male-hero-journey” now that they were in a literal “what will they do, fire me?” situation.

I’m a Cas fan, and this episode, which gives him an actual, ‘case-of-the-week’ hunter’s narrative where he gets to save the day on his own, successfully, was wonderful. I love that for him! But more than that, for me, this episode is emotional to me for other reasons-- the way Dean and Cas circle around each other on their angry phone call (with the body language! They are broadcasting so LOUD and neither can see because they’re on the phone!), Sam’s story here, where he’s inheriting things from Rowena that allow him in turn to save Eileen, to Cas’ speech and quick anger at the lake when you reflect on his entire journey of self-realization from a soldier of blind faith to an agent of free will... “You selfish little men in your positions of authority...” I just... *clears throat, grabs tissue* 

#3 -  6.20 - “The Man Who Would Be King”

Written & Directed by: Ben Edlund

Speaking of Cas’ journey... I know some folks don’t like the angst and drama of the ‘Heaven and Hell’ plots of Supernatural, but I am here for it. Oh, did we need another reason to include this episode? This has some of the most metal quotes I have heard from any TV show. Ever.

I mean, look at this:

“If I knew then what I know now, I would have said: Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”

“Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.”

The delivery of: “It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!” “Dean, it’s not broken!” is one of those Supernatural bits that will live in my head until the end of time. All of Edlund’s episodes are among my favorites, but this (along with “5.04 - The End”) was on another level. 

#2 - 5.16 - “Dark Side of the Moon”

Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin | Directed by: Jeff Wollnough

I think of this episode every time  I hear Bob Dylan sing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” This is kinda a giant montage episode, but the connecting concepts are so...satisfying. 

“Heaven is your favorite memories.” “ It’s called the axis mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt.” “This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this was one of the worst nights of my life.” “I don’t think I realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” “It’s awesome to finally have an application—a practical application—for string theory.” “Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?” “Why is God talking to me? Gardner-to-gardener, and between us, I think he gets lonely.” “You son of a bitch, I believed in... ” Whoosh.

#1 - 4.01 - “Lazarus Rising”

Written by: Eric Kripke | Directed by: Kim Manners

So...this is the episode where Castiel, angel of thee Lord, shows up. And that’s primarily why it earns the no. 1 spot, because 80% of my enjoyment of Supernatural from this point on was Cas-adjacent. Plus this entire episode just hits. ALL OF IT. Dean’s homecoming. Ruby, my darling. Bobby’s entire vibe. Pamela Barnes, easily one of the most interesting women Supernatural ever introduced. Cas being so hot to say “Hi” to Dean he forgets he wounds people. 

But beyond that-- the way the show writes their ‘oh, by the way, angels’ narrative! If you haven’t seen this episode, would you believe me if I told you that THIS EPISODE, the episode where Supernatural said “canonically, Judeo-Christian Heaven is real, btw” involves no churches but does involve a séance, a soulmark handprint brand, and a himbo angel that “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition”...but they were all “no homo, guys” for years?

Truly no one was out here doing it like Supernatural even back in 2008.

Others--

15.18 - “Despair” 

“Most Likely to Live Rent-Free in My Head for the Rest of my Life”

Written by: Robert Berens | Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

You know why this episode is here. It broke reality. I could be wrong-- but I’d put good money on this episode being the subject of academic theses in the future. That doesn’t automatically make for interesting story, but...

Has there ever been a case, in a mainstream US TV show where a major lead character (Cas) came out as queer so late in the game in a narratively-important way? I’m not aware of it, but I might just be behind on my television.

This episode has great writing, and (blessedly) amazing direction and blocking anyway. Check out the above gif - that is some next level foreshadowing going on in the cinematography, and this isn’t even the most remarked upon shot in this episode. (Seriously, I had to search for 40 minutes for this gif, please respect my game, lol.) Everyone who was involved in 15x18 is giddy talking about their investment, from the costume designer to the actors to the director to the writer...

...And then a bunch of them steadfastly have avoided posting much Supernatural-related since. So that’s...loud. There is a bunch of subtext in this episode that is screamingly loud; there is a bunch of text in this episode that makes several things clear fandom has been chattering over for years and years. The meta-commentary around this episode continues, months later. There are over 700 fics on AO3 with this episode tag.

I have more to say about the themes of ‘free will’ and ‘love’ and ‘identity’ tied to this episode, but seriously-- you’ve probably read 17 versions of it on Tumblr already, so.

This is the last time we see Cas, and the last time Supernatural can claim anything close to narrative consistency. For that alone, it’d earn free head-space.

Runners-up: “4.20 - The Rapture”; “5.04 - The End”; “7.21 - Reading is Fundamental”; “8.21 - The Great Escapist”; “9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait”; “12.19 - The Future”; “14.08 - Byzantium”

6.17 - “My Heart Will Go On”/8.07 - “A Little Slice of Kevin”

“Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction”

Written by: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (6.17); Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia (6.17); Charlie Carner (8.07)

Usually the show kills off it’s “one-episode” female characters, but do you know one time it didn’t? When the Moirai (the Fates - specifically Atropos, the shearer of the Threads of Fate) showed up in canon in 6.17. She was posited to have “two older sisters that were bigger than her- in every sense of the word,” ...and Castiel had to back down when she challenged him to a cosmic game of chicken over the Winchester’s lives.

Then they never returned to that idea again. 

“A Little Slice of Kevin” is on here for the opposite reason -- an amazing idea that was really underwritten in the episode it showed up in. Dean Winchester has been dragging himself across the fabric of universes; the literal Word of God is in play in a warehouse in Middle America; Cas is back from Purgatory, but what does that mean, micro and macro? As a person on the street, what would it mean, or feel like, to learn you were a Prophet of the Lord, uncalled? That what you are, everything you are, is a cosmic contingency?

Maybe Fate has an opinion on all these shenanigans?

Perhaps all that doesn’t make sense, but it certainly made an impression on ~2012 me. To this day, it remains the WIP I can open up and fool myself with the ‘twist.’ I wish I remembered where I was going with it so I could finish it.

Runners Up: “2.20 - What Is and What Should Never Be”; “5.04 - The End”; “6.15 - The French Mistake”; 12.12 - “Stuck in the Middle (with you)”; “13.05 - Advanced Thanatology” “14.03 - The Scar”; “14.10 - Nihilism”; “15.15 - Gimme Shelter” ... and “15.20 - Carry On” (obviously)

Fifteen seasons. There were plenty of other episodes I loved that didn’t make these limited lists. But overall -- thank you, Supernatural, for the run. Even if I’m upset at the ending, I can appreciate the game. If you watch the show, what were your favorite episodes?

[mineofilms]

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry…

Where to begin… I have been a type 2 diabetic since 2013. I got diabetes from excessive partying/drinking, originally. I continued to behave like this till June 2020. Granted, I wasn’t going as hard, in general, over the years, but each year and hardship I found myself going back to those old vices more frequently.

When the pandemic struck SWFL my drinking went up about 400%. No joke. I trained 4 days on and drank the other 3 days, hard. I did that from March to late June.

I caught Covid-19 around June 26th. By July 11th I needed to be hospitalized for Diabetic Ketoacidosis (where the body produces excess blood acids; ketones. This occurs when there isn't enough insulin in the body. It can be triggered by infection or other illness.) & Pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas. It happens when digestive enzymes start digesting the pancreas itself.) I was in ICU for 36 hours and in the hospital for 5 days. I lost 21 lbs over that time.

3 days after I got home from the hospital, Macular Edema (blood vessels in the retina burst and bleed into the eyes), set in. That took about a month to heal only for Diabetic Retinopathy (those same blood vessels that burst heal and are inflamed).

Usually requires anti-inflammatory shots into the eye ball and laser surgery to burn away some of the excess scar tissue. These cost thousands of dollars without insurance, which I do not have. I have read that they can heal on their own, but it takes about 8-12 months. I am in month 4.

However, I actually cannot confirm if that statement about them healing on their own is actually true or not. Some notes in journals say yes while other, more creditable sites, say no. One must get treatment.

Now let me be clear that Covid-19 did not cause my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis. My lack of proper care for my diabetes caused these. I was already in the yellow and when I got Covid-19 it just put me in the RED. I now, at this point, required medical care or I would die. Those are the facts about me getting Covid-19, my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis…

Flash-Forward to now… I got my blood sugars down to near normal (high) levels. This means my blood sugar is still high, but for me, I used to walk around at 400. 500-600 is diabetic coma. 80-120 is considered normal. I walk around between 130-230, currently, fasted.

I have not had a drink since June 26th. I will never drink again. I can’t.

1) Alcohol has thoroughly ruined my adult life in all sorts of areas besides this. It got me sick to begin with among, other, things.

2) If I drink I could be back in the hospital with Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis, again.

3) I made a deal with GOD. If I have to live through this (I prayed to die that night) that I would never drink again.

What kind of dick lies to GOD lol? A decade ago I would have… I hated everything about the concept of GOD. Now, I have come to terms that if there is or there isn’t; it doesn’t matter. I value me, my beliefs. Why not carry myself with that respect. I do not need to tell or share my beliefs with others. I care not for such things.

I am solely worried about my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health.

I did not quit drinking because of addiction issues or any of that business. I made the choice because if I didn’t my pancreas would fail and I would be dead in a few months. That is how bad my pancreas was… I do not see myself as someone that is doing all this for attention. I have barely even made mention of this whole story on my social media. I have told people in direct messages, but I do not post everything that is happening in my life on social media.

Granted this Tumblr account is considered social media, but I do not use it for that purpose. It is strictly for my BLOG entries. I do not follow people on Tumblr. I post, get my URL and share it that way. Its not in your face on Facebook or anything, but one can click the link and go read about the crazy things in my head.

Taking care of my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health is a full time job in and of itself. Now, currently I cannot work. I can only drive during the day. I cannot see well enough to drive at night.

I have other medical issues stemming from this and it is quite the laundry list. However, I think I gave you all enough to think about.

I am back in great shape now. Since I quit drinking and got back from the hospital I went from 119 to 163 lbs. I have not been this big since 2012. Right before I believe my Diabetic State started. My strength is coming back with a vengeance too. I am putting up more weight than I have in nearly a decade.

I have had to make serious and big changes to EVERYTHING in my life.

My computer is now changed from dual 22 inch monitors to one 46 inch monitor. I have to make changes like this just to see well enough to do some things on the computer.

I am still very blind. My vision has decent days and some days I cannot see much of anything. I cannot see my phone without a magnifying glass. I just got my eyes looked at several times cause my power keeps shifting and now my current glasses setup does not exactly help much. My computer glasses are ok for this, but my normal bifocals are pretty useless.

However; I do feel like I can write a little bit more now. I have a few blogs I want to write and then go right back into the novel. This might be the only realistic possibility of me being able to work to earn my keep. Normal 9-5, Monday-Friday are out of the question, indefinitely.

Not only am I not well enough for the grind, physically. My mental health is very questionable. I have had issues for years now. I have had about 20 jobs in 15 years. I have done a real number on my mental health over the years. Always trying to do more, work harder than the next person so I can make that “good money” that some always throw in my face. I did the work. I put in the time, but only to be messed with. Yes, I have that sort of mental issue.

One tries to mess with me. Mess with the positive shit I am doing. I lose my head pretty quick. I have repeatedly demonstrated over the course of my life that I have no restraint at all when it comes to that feeling of being seriously fucked with and have them look at you like; “What are you gonna do about it?”

Well that is it… I always do something about it. Even when I know I shouldn’t. It is my worst impulsive trait that I cannot get a handle on. Ever since I was a kid. I wanna say. It started when I was 11 or so.

I have made huge strides in changing my life, my thinking and how I fit into the scheme of things. I have become more an introvert than an extrovert. Even before the pandemic I was going out less and less. Doing things less and less. It got to a point to where I only went out when I could drink and/or the band was playing. I was already becoming less social. So this is nothing overly drastic about that UNLESS you count Facebook activity.

I have not advertised much on my Facebook and for good reasons… I posted about my 6 months of sobriety and the responses I got were all about, pressing on and “the struggle.”

I pulled it down. There was no struggle here. I am not a keep on keepin’ on mannnnnn… Type of Personality… No… I quit drinking so I can live another 10-15, hopefully more, years.  I just went through a friend dying from literally drinking himself to death. I know what people go through with their addiction struggles. I have my own reservations about how I feel about said subject matter.

Needless to say I did not appreciate how people view me on Facebook. I no longer post blogs their either. I post here on tumblr and put a link on my Facebook if anyone wants to read. That is about it.

I know people do not read more than a handful of sentences that ends with a weird hashtag or snapchat handle. I get it. It is also my fault because I have not told the Facebook wall/timeline of my mental and medical conditions and struggles. I reserve those conversations to be personal.

So if you want to know stuff, then let us get personal. Pretty much that simple. I do not do FAKE FRIENDS…

I try to be transparent. In the past it was easy, but now everyone has an opinion that they call facts. I do not know how many people I blocked on Facebook for being so damn ignorant or attention seeking.

I know I do not do attention seeking things. When I write it is with intention to say something. I would say 1600+ words on these subjects merits a little more than “attention seeking” behavior…

Things are looking up. I have done soooooooooo much. With so very little and make it look like I have a lot and that everything is fine. No. God Damnit… Everything is not fine. I am kicking ass trying to make something fine but not everything. Everything will never be FINE… Not ever. However, I can strive for it. I can continue to put in that work and just ignore the dumb shit. Which I am becoming pretty good at. I am still me. I am still blunt. If I rough feathers that is just my way of getting those people away from me.

Goodbye 2020… You will never be forgotten and your mark has definitely been left…

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry… By David-Angelo Mineo Words 1,738  12/30/2020

[borisbubbles]

ESC2019:  Preshow #25

25. HUNGARY Joci Pápai - “Az én apam” SemiFinal 1, #07

Ugh; fucking Joci of all people giving me a writer’s block. I MISS the milk jug tapping REALNESS of his previous entry :( He is not giving me much to work with.

ENTRY ANALYSIS

Having said that, I don’t  “Az én apám” is without its own charms. It’s a cute, touching song about Joci’s deceased father and well, I ranked both Michael Schulte AND AWS high last year, so obviously it’s a subject I like and can relate to. I like it!

The problem is that the song, as I’m sure you’ll all agree with, is sort of... bare? Lol. It gave off cool indie vibes at first with the whistling gimmick but Joci replaced the whistling with sentimental strings and this sapped the song of a lot of its inherent indie power. I like the song, but only very *VERY* mildly so. Right now, it’s closer to “Qami” than it is to “Origo” and it’s a real damn’ shame. :’(

However, the above isn’t the only reason I’m booting Joci. I also cannot forget the circumstances under which he won A Dal. Hungary was one of the countries that engaged in VILE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR during its NF (along with Romania, France, Ukraine and Italy) and my opinion of A Dal 2019 bled into my opinion of Joci as well. 

Since I don’t have anything to add Joci, let us dive in to the gothic horror novel that was this year’s A Dal, as told by yours truly:

NF Corner

The trouble began when the jurors, gave a mere 37 points to Leander Kills, allegedly because of “poor lyrics” (ed: the song is in Hungarian, nobody fucking cares) Now, I am actually NOT a fan of Leander Kills’s usual repertoire  (Killjoy metal isn’t my style), but this year they entered with an upbeat folk entry: 

Sounds like an obvious contender, right? Well, something went horribly wrong :( 

Now, the one thing you need to know about A Dal is that every there is ONE abysmal chartmonster who proves UNKILLABLE in the televote. In 2019 this contestant was USNK, who were even worse than the normal audience fave. You can already predict where this will go, but whatever: the juries rigged LK out of the top five seemingly by accident, (like seriously. they were stupefied that LK didn’t qualify. wat.) and then they died to USNK in the televote. AND THEY WERE THE UNIVERSAL FAVE TO WIN!!!

So how do you think the audience responded? Like any responsible, mature adult would: by piling white hot social media hate on one of jury faves. There were several weird entries the A Dal jury had the hots for reasons nobody can guess: Bogy Nagy??? Acoustic planet??? Bence Vavra?? MOSCOK 1 KÖLYÖK???? Wtf!!! Get those insipid bitches OUT!!!

Unfortunately, the contestant the Casualtards decided to hate on was the best song in all of A Dal 🙄 Meet bug-eyed cherub Petruska:

"Help me out of here” was an  immensely clever song that cannot get enough praise imo: It uses a cheerful beat to conduct a very cynical message about the end of the world, turning a heavy subject into a lightweight digestive. The intelligent message is framed by a fantastic 80s, Paul Simon-esque sound, elevated to a higher level by Petruska’s palpable anxiety. Had it won, it would have made an AMAZING entry for Hungary and done very well.

Sadly, the audience fabricated a plagiarism claim (of a VAMPIRE WEEKEND song, of all things), and called for Petruska’s severed head on a pike so... the producers of A Dal... instead of supporting an artist they chose for their own NF, conceded and DQ’d Petruska... WHAT THE FUCK???? Whenever BULLYING wins, it’s a dark day for ALL OF MANKIND!!! Even if the plagiarism claim were valid (it was questionable at best. are you aware what VampWeekend’s discography sounds like, lmfao?), then why let Petruska enter A Dal in the first place??? FUCKING NUMBSKULLS

Eventually USNK were slain by the best remaining entry, ~MIDDLETONZ~, the name of Andras Kallay-Saunders’s current musical project.  A mix of R&B, Hiphop and Dubstep that actually works well?

After LK and Petruska had been unfairly slain, Middletonz (or the very adequate and likable Gergö Székér, I haven’t forgotten about him, @aws-deserved-better!!!) would’ve made an excellent entry, but alas it wasn’t meant to me.

Qualification Odds: Borderline (Advantaged)

I currently have Hungary among my qualifiers, because I find it pretty difficult to find flaws in “Az én apám”. It’s a good song, plain and simple. 

That said, it might be too plain and simple? 

We have some information on Joci’s staging: He will incorporate photographs of other people’s dads into the backdrop and... ew. You know how much I don’t like Sob Stories. Dropping your quirky vibe to go all out on the schmaltz is not a decision I support. If you miss your mark, you miss it BADLY and have nothing to recover from. 

As such I wonder whether Joci might surprise NQ?  “Az én apám” is the Eurovision equivalent of the side salad you get with your protein and carbs: light, tasty, having it there is better than not having it there, but as a whole totally not something you’d order by itself. If any entry in the first semifinal gets Qami’d, it’s this one.

Projected placement: 6th-15th in the semifinal. If he qualifies, 15th-24th in the Grand Final.

Link to the masterpost

[astudyinfreewill]

alright, so the first thing we’re gonna do is we’re gonna leave tas the fuck alone, because a) she definitely has better things to do with her time than read anon vitriol in her inbox and b) she literally did nothing to encourage this ~drama~ 

for that matter, i barely did anything to engage in drama - i reblogged one vaguely salty post yesterday, forgot all about it, and have been out sightseeing with friends all of today (you know, because clearly i have nothing to do but start fires on tumblr). and normally, i would be very happy to just keep on ignoring whatever you’ve got to say about me, but you had to go after my friends, so you get the honour of one reply before i forget all of this. congratulations! let’s do this quickly, shall we?

you very much don’t get to decide who someone is friends with or not, especially when you have zero insight into the situation and your third eye is clearly stapled the fuck shut. 

literally name one instance of when i or any of my friends have “attacked” someone. go on. i dare you. i have not once gone to a blog to spout vitriol at them like you’re doing right now (to a third party, i might add), and i know none of my friends - including julia - have, either, because they’re decent people who know how to behave themselves - unlike this little display of yours.

“yOu wAnT tO mArRy aDaM pArRiSh LmAo” oh dang, sick burn, bro!!! i get that ageism runs rampant in this fandom, but contrary to what you may believe, this isn’t grade school, sweety :’)

“There are people getting attacked by your precious crying club” again literally name one instance of this. do you actually know what the word “attack” means? because at this point i’m wondering. if you’re talking about @parrishwife, which you clearly are based on your very clever joke above, they made a sarcastic post on their own blog, and get this: they didn’t even tag it. they literally went out of their way to avoid  bringing the post to the attention of people who might be annoyed by it, much less directly attacking them. which is more than a large part of this fandom does. in fact, they then got attacked on their own blog, including some very mean-spirited personal stuff, because apparently some people in this fandom can dish it out but can’t take it or engage in intelligent criticism about it

“your opinions don’t count for the whole fandom” no, of course not, but i should think i get to express my opinions on my blog. like every single other person on this website. the block button is literally free!!! and again - real funny that you and others feel free to start shit about what people post - untagged - on their own blogs, when you’re out there making actual ~callouts~ and shaming people by name. freedom of speech, but ONLY for MY opinions!! >:(((

“It is hard to ignore you guys when 80% of pynch or adam blogs are crying club people” …uh. wow lol. i am not going to disclose who or how many people are in my server, but i’ll just say that if you think we constitute “80% of pynch/adam blogs”, then trc fandom would be the size of a small town book club. maybe you just need to curate your fandom experience better, and that’s wholly on you.

“they push their opinions down everyone’s throat, e.g. about gansey.” ooohhhhh so THAT’s what this is actually about lmao!!! i don’t know why i’m surprised. have you actually ever bothered to check the gansey tag on my blog? pretty much the only time i express an opinion on him is when people ask me about it. i should think i’m allowed to answer a damn ask on my damn blog. and i try to always do so politely - which, by the way, i am under no obligation to do, because it’s literally my blog and i could trash talk any character in the world if i wanted to. i don’t because a) i’m a considerate person and b) i simply don’t care enough. as for shoving those opinions down people’s throat with my immense fandom presence: my last answered asks about gansey were 8 months ago. the one before is from 13 months ago. none of them are combative or rude. i don’t know what you’re tripping on, friend, but i suggest before you accuse people of ~internet crimes~ willy nilly you don’t fully make them up.

as for being “mean and unnecessarily disrespectful”, how about next time you have a grievance you either hit that sweet block button or you bring it to the person in question, instead of badmouthing them and their friends while attacking (yes, you’re the one doing that) people who did nothing wrong. again: leave tas the fuck alone. she has more than enough wits about her to decide for herself who’s behaving like a grown-up and who’s being toxic here.

uncordially,

ambra or wtf her name is

sweety they’re not your friends lol you’re all just obsessed individuals who apparently dont have anything else to do apart from attacking people and thinking you all know adam so well and would be the perfect wife for him lmaooooo. also no i wasn’t talking about problematic opinions like shipping ronan w blue. but general opinions on characters or whatever. even normal pairings outside of pynch. There are people getting attacked by your precious crying club and That is not ok. You are not the elite and your opinions don’t count for the whole fandom. It is hard to ignore you guys when 80% of pynch or adam blogs are crying club people. THEY are the ones who cant ignore other’s opinions (normal ones). Esp julia since you mentioned her, or ambra or wtf her name is, they push their opinions down everyone’s throat, e.g. about gansey. When you’re not friends with them they are very much mean and unnecessarily disrespectful. Maybe you can’t see that bc you interact with them but i saw the way they treated people on here. It sours the fandom even further. I personally ignore these people and scroll on, like you said, but seeing people getting pushed out of fandom or therir joy being dimmed by a few people who think are the shit is not ok.

i dont really know what you’re trying to accomplish with this, and i dont appreciate that patronising tone. i’m pretty sure i can judge who my friends are (also i’m a part of that server too fyi 😉). and i’d like to think i have the mental capacity to decide whether i think someone is mean regardless of whether or not i interact with them. if anything, i know because i do interact with them. you keep bringing gansey up, and while i dont want to speak on behalf of any of them i know what you’re talking about and i know those takes were in response to asks where they were asked about their opinions. i dont think them expressing their dislike for a character on their blog is a bad thing. i, as someone who likes gansey, can read those opinions and decide what i do and dont agree with but ultimately i dont take any of it personally. similarly, when they see me post something about liking gansey they dont come ‘attack’ me as you say. as you so astutely pointed out, we’re all adults and we can act like it. more importantly, this is all kept in their personal blog! obviously none of us can control what gets spread through reblogs, but that’s not the same as attacking.

i generally avoid participating in discourse but that doesn’t mean i don’t see it, so i do know what events you are talking about and i also know where it started and by whom because believe it or not i don’t blindly follow other people and do research to form my own opinions ❤️

i’m sorry you feel that way, i really am, and i admit that the fandom at large can sometimes get toxic and annoying. i hope that gets better. however, i do not think it’s okay for anyone to go and say bad shit about other people to other people. you obviously dont believe im friends with them, so what was the point of sending all this to me? i would react in this way even if i didnt know any of them, and i definitely don’t like it knowing they are all very sweet people who have never once made me feel uncomfortable in the fandom, and this was before we became friends. tbh, i don’t think i need to justify any of this to you, and i can’t change your opinions nor am i going to argue with them. you do you bro. but from where im standing i see one group still dragging this along and another minding their own business. this is fandom tumblr, what are we all doing here if not obsess over ships and fandoms? why do we need to make this personal? that’s all i have to say about this. good day to you! 🤗

[perpetuallyfive]

Pennywise and Charlie Howard

So someone may have reblogged me and then immediately blocked me, which remains one of the funniest forms of interaction you can have on tumblr, and normally I would just toss this really long post I’ve written in response in the trash, but I actually do think this shit kind of matters.

So here it is:

It’s not reaching to say that Pennywise murders a gay man who is explicitly the victim of a violent gay bashing based off the real life murder of an actual gay man who died pleading for his life, and to try to “reclaim” something that explicitly references his death just for the lulz is tacky as shit and disrespectful to the dead. That’s not reaching, it’s what’s actually happening.

I’m sorry reality is such a harsh buzzkill sometimes, and you can feel free to not give any fucks about the actual man who died, but trying to erase the fact that it really happened and is being explicitly referenced by King in “It” just contributes further to the straight media focused erasure of LGBTQ experiences. I’m just not on board with contributing to that for the sake of a half-assed meme that’s so fucking try hard in the first place.

Like it’s pretty obvious that the majority of people who weren’t alive in the 80s have never heard of Charlie Howard or his murder, and that’s clearly why so many people jumped on board wth the meme. That’s not their fault; his death is just not talked about very often, which is pretty disgusting and infuriating if you actually stop to think about it. And I really truly do get that people might feel called out and guilty, and the easiest thing is to ignore any heavy implications and just say it’s not really a big thing, people are being overly reactionary, lol tumblr why you got to try so hard blah blah.

But the reality is that straight people were not particularly interested in the dead gay man who was murdered because he was openly gay in 1984 and that’s why most people, even gay people, don’t know he existed or how he died. The kids who threw him off a bridge didn’t want him to exist, the media at large didn’t want him to exist, and I guess some fucking half-assed edge lords on tumblr might not want him to have existed either since it might almost make their shit-posting a tiny bit less fun, but that doesn’t change shit.

The gay community shouldn’t fucking let the heteronormative narratives that want to erase the existence of gay people -- and the violence committed against us by straight people -- from the past dominate our world view to the point that we’re eager to participate in our own erasure just for the sake of a joke that’s not even very good. 

I mean, fuck. Have some fucking standards, if you can’t even have class.

[unorthodoxsavvy]

Taggity-Tagged

Wowie so I got tagged by my friend Ginny, or @dead-nightingale to answer these 92 truths about yourself (myself). And at the end I’m going to tag 25 people.

Here we go!!

THE LAST

1. Drink: Hot Chocolate

2. Phone Call: My boyfriend last night

3. Text Message: “When I was trying to fall asleep last night, Cece was walking on my side and trying to find a spot to lay down on me. And then this morning she laid down on my stomach and I was petting her.” from my boyfriend.

4. Song You Listened To: I’m listening to “Wanting More” by Memphis May Fire.

5. Time You Cried: Sunday. 

HAVE YOU EVER

6. Dated Someone Twice: No, haha, no one makes that mistake twice

7. Been Cheated On: No

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: No.

9. Lost Someone Special: Yeah. On my birthday.

10. Been Depressed: My entire life??? Okay, kidding. But yes, I have PDD.

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: No, I don’t drink.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. Metallic silvery-blue.

13. Black

14. Aqua

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made New Friends: Only like 50, give or take.

16. Fallen Out of Love: Yeah, but not completely, and I was still willing to try and right myself because I know it was all just because of the amount of confusing things going on at the time.

17. Laughed Until You Cried: Probably?

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yeah, and I thought it was fucking hilarious.

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: Yeah................................. let’s not talk about that right now

20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: This year was the year of finding out who my true friends are lmao. And sometimes I was wrong. I’m glad my real friends pulled through despite my doubts about them.

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook: The day I own a Facebook is the day I’ll send myself to a Nunnery. 

22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life: Seriously? Let Facebook burn in the pits of hell.

23. Do You Have Any Pets: Yeah, I temporarily have a pet cat, I have an old doggo some of you might know named Bailey, I have Marian, of course, my gecko, and a fish named Vic. We used to also have Kellin but we don’t have Kellin anymore.

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: Yes. My middle name can burn in the puts of hell next to Facebook. 

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: Shit what did I do? Uhhhhhhhh.... let me ask my boyfriend. Well he doesn’t know either. OH! I remember: I made a weird cake with cookie dough and stuff and we had other cake and I went to Boston for a Teen Author convention and also my mom’s best friend died and I cried on my boyfriend a lot. I think I kind of blocked that day out of my memory.

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: 8:30ish

27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: Watching Gintama lmao

28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: WARPED TOUR, PRIDE, and LOCAL AGRICULTURE FAIRS! And for me to actually get a job.

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: Between 10-11 last night.

30. What is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: Getting a job :’) plz someone hire me :’) I know I’ve only applied like 2 places but like c’mon

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides

32. Have You Ever Talked To a Person Named Tom: Yes, I have. 

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: People flirting with other people and me whoops. Me flirting with other people. Myself. People. Trump. The not-so-slow decline of humanity. My own saltiness rn.

34. Most Visited Website: Google

35. Elementary: Like elementary school? There was cool art on the pillars outside the office. I met my best friend there and had my first kiss in elementary school. Someone threw a brick at my friend’s head. I was smol and had long blonde hair. Someone who I’m now friends with pushed me and I fractured my wrist and the school told me I was exaggerating and didn’t even tell my mom what had happened and she said that when she reached for my arm to like help me out of the car I would pull away and finally she took me to the doctor’s and found out and she was pissed at the school. I got stuck in the playground. Field Day was fun. I miss the sketch playground they had.

36. High School: 

Freshman Year

What to heck I actually have friends, I’m popularish? People don’t treat me like shit? Boys are flirting with me? I have drama? What? I’m so confused. I’m going to just stick with playing with the animals in the barn and crying over the fact I forgot to put my seatbelt on the first time on the tractor. The Golden Trio. 

Sophomore Year

First real boyfriend

Traumatic experiences ----->emo

Junior Year

I’m emo

DNT TOUCH MEH

I LIKE GIRLS??????????

Wow that fanfiction though

Wow I have a crush on a Trans Guy? Guess I really am bi

Wow I’m dating a Trans Guy (it needs to be caps in my head, sorry lol) Guess I am bi but also can we appreciate what a cute fucking bean he is???

Omg! Full time Natural Resources Student! The Dream Come True!

Depression

Anxiety

Senior Year

I hate you all

I hate you too Emory

If you don’t want to hang out with me that’s fine but don’t expect me to hang out with you.

Wow all my friends desserted me.

What friends

Oh those friends

Yeah they aren’t my friends today

Wow I’m some elite choir student

My choir teacher is still sketchy af

My natural resources teacher is actually letting us pick him out an outfit to buy at GAP.

My natural resources teacher’s wife is actually letting us browse for like an hour and 45 minutes in Barnes and Nobels looking for That Gay Shit

We didn’t find That Gay Shit but I bought a Fun. album and DAPGO so that’s pretty much the same thing

I’m pretty sure we all just outted ourselves to our teacher’s wives

Wow I’m making an album

Wow I’m not taking any real classes I’m just passing the time cuddling dogs

Wow friends from Freshman Year throwback

California is Gay

Boston wasn’t supposed to be Gay but we snuck into Pride

I cried a lot during graduation because at that point a bunch of people were horrible to me and I couldn’t take it anymore but then also my teacher got me a scholarship and I cried during that too

Let’s party and stay up at school until 5:30am

37. College/University: What’s college

38. Hair Color: 50 shades of cool colors but not green

39. Long Hair or Short Hair: Shorter than a Corgi’s tail

40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yeah, and I really wish I didn’t.

41. What Do You Like About Yourself: Gay

42. Piercings: Over my needlephobic body

43. Blood Type: Does anyone actually know this? I’d kill someone before I’d let them near enough to me to find out

44. Nickname: Savvy

45. Relationship Status: (If you didn’t get this by now, I’m dating @ancient-hero)

46. Zodiac Sign: Libra af

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Fairy Tail

49. Tattoos: I waaaaaaant but neeeeeeeeedles

50. Right or Left Hand: Righty

FIRST

51. Surgery: None

52. Piercing: Ears in 3rd grade

54. Sport: Dance

55. Vacation: Gosh idk I was probably still in the womb

56. Pair of Trainers: What? How about first pair of Converse? I like that better. My first pair of Converse was in like 6th grade and my friend was like “ohmigod, how have you never owned a pair of Converse before? They’re your shoe.”

57. Eating: What does this even mean?????? How about this: the first time I ate blueberry pie, it was heavenly and I was in Maine and now I love blueberry pie.

58. Drinking: Let’s talk alcohol.I said I don’t drink, and that’s true. My first alcohol was this year, my mom gave us champagne. That doesn’t count as drinking, we all know that.

59. I’m About To: Keep writing this post. And doing all the other tags I’ve been tagged in, and then try and schedule them so I don’t flood people with useless info about me. I might take a break though because I’ve been here almost an hour.

60. Listening To: Bulls in the Bronx.

61. Waiting For: A Sign A Job Me to stop catching feelings Warped Tour

62. Want: Warped Tour!!! (And more specifically to actually know bands and songs playing more than I do now. I’m trying to crash course myself in bands like a week before again)

63. Get Married: YES YES YES

64. Career: Music Video Producer and Storyboarder and Filmer

YOUR TYPE

65. Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or Taller: Ahhhhhhh I’ve had a bit of both idk which one I like better maybe shorter cause I’m short anyone “tall” towers over me

68. Older of Younger: Older 

70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: ??? A girl is a girl?? A boy is a boy?? I don’t like buff people? I like squishy people??

71. Sensitive or Loud: Both! I want both, dammit! I can’t take just one or the other, it won’t work.

72. Hook Up or Relationship: I wouldn’t know.

73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: Once again, both. Either of a lot is too much. I feel like most people I’m comparing are polar opposites and that’s why things haven’t/aren’t working.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a Stranger: NO BUT I WANT TO (just not while dating anyone)

75. Drank Hard Liquor: Still no

76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: Who owns a pair who hasn’t? If you own either you have.

77. Turned Someone Down: Lmao no

78. Sex on First Date: Nooooooooo

79. Broken Someone’s Heart: Once again, hasn’t everyone? And if they haven’t, they will.

80. Had Your Heart Broken: Once again, hasn’t everyone? And if they haven’t, they will.

81. Been Arrested: No, but had the cops called on me, yes.

82. Cried When Someone Died: Yes, on my birthday, in my kitchen, on my boyfriend.

83. Fallen For a Friend: I don’t fall for anyone seriously who isn’t a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

84. Yourself: Yes.

85. Miracles: Yes.

86. Love at First Sight: It’s called lust, look it up.

87. Santa Claus: No, sorry.

88. Kiss on First Date: Sure, that’s cute.

89. Angels: No

OTHER...

90. Current Best Friend’s Name: Olivia. Best friends since Kindergarten. Just with a few gaps and rough patches.

91. Eye Color: Blue

92. Favorite Movie: Stand By Me

Wow I need a break before I even tag anyone.

Okay, so after everyone’s read through all this nonsense, here is to whome I bestow this task:

First off I probably owe @ancient-hero to be tagged since he’s mentioned so much.

@articulate-mess, @teatowelhowell, @sleepyphil, @danisthirsty, @weirdkidstories, @fondan, @pocketcow, @memory--ghost, @mymagnificentself, @gods-not-on-a-flatbread, @cushionstaxk, @xloonaticbloodx, @liabilitylester, @kendellisnotonfire, @smoltheatrekid, @softcharizard, @vgetables, @thebookofmadison, @infidany, @i-craft-ladders, @alecdoesnotmakepie, @astonishowell, @deadpan-trashcan @smolphaniel

Wow, okay, cool. Obviously if you don’t want to do it I’m not going to fly to you and kick down your door and make you. So, have fun, do the thing if you want, sorry if not, and have a nice day!

[swearronchanel]

Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they  did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why 

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit 

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested”  SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins 

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS  OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected  

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..

[hurtmeg00d]

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Im confused on this question

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes... but make sure that person is worth all the hardships..

3. Are you a virgin? No..

4. Are you in a relationship? No..wont be until my aching heart is healed

5. Are you in love? Yes but im in love with someone who no longer cares for me ..someone who’s moved on and i look pathetic for begging them to come back..aint ever did no shit like this before

6. Are you single this year? as of now and for years after now, yes.

7. Can you commit to one person? Of course, why date if you aren’t working towards that?

8. Describe your crush : Its more than a crush.. this man is strong-willed, stubborn, passionate, driven, and everything you could ever want in a man.

9. Describe your perfect mate : Id rather not

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? In a sense yes, vibes are real, but its unlikely

11. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, that’s a goal of mine

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Honestly....i only give chances to those willing to continue to fight for me ...there’s a point in which it can become insane tho.

13. Do you get jealous easily? Yes, as fuck, but i hide it.. i want you to show me who you really are ..

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? I think its obvious

15. Do you have any piercings? Duh

16. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, 2, on both arms

17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes, but not to the point where we’re making others uncomfortable.  

20. Do you shower every day? Shiiiiit twice sometimes three times a day, i could live in my shower.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Nope, I know for a fact.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Why would they lol.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course, longest relationship was 2 1/2 years and THEY cheated on me the whole time... thats a horrible feeling.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Ha... with the ways things are going rn in my non-existent love life, NO.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? If its not Jbaby then fuck no, everyone can fuck off for all i care, im stuck.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes but did they make the effort? No. Didn’t mean jack shit

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? No

28. Have you ever been cheated on? Almost every relationship, ALMOST.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Every woman has, but just workout.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Ha. Are you kidding? im the king of sorrows

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes numerous times.. i love too hard..

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yes..

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yes...

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? I prefer 21+ so yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Only once but we both didn’t want to ruin the friendship

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Ha yes 

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Oh wow, of course .. i never expect to because im so closed off

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Currently !!!!!!!!!

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? YES.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? eh yeh

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? I love foreplay, it just depends on my mood and how much im arousing the other person, i wait till i hear heavy breathing.

43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 1/2 years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? My whole life i have 6 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? One because thats when i had my first kiss

46. How many times did you have sex last year? What kinda question

47. How old are you? Nastyyyy Nineteeeen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Thats their choice, what can you say?

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Well i don’t but when i did, it was hard to pick a favorite thing when everything about him was perfect

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? FUCK NO HAHA

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? .....Yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Currently...i haven’t even tho i know i should.. he blocks me on all social media.. i uhh.. thats all i got for this question..

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Im not but if i was and there were, FUCK EM

54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yup....

55. Share a relationship story. I cant ...too sad....

56. State 8 facts about your body : nah

57. Things you want to say to an ex : He knows how i feel about him. I still love and adore you. You still have a home here with me. I pray for you everyday... need i say more???

58. What are five ways to win your heart? You can’t rn its out of service

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) nah

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 4 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? intellect 

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? For me? lol fight for me.. and to me? choke me the fuck out and call me his little princess

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? passionate rough love making

64. What is your definition of cheating? GIVING MF”S THE YOU THAT YOU GIVE ME

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Ayyyyy nah im not bout to say all that

66. What is your favourite roleplay? Never done that

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Anything could be a date if youre just spending time with that person

68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual

69. What turns you off? inconsistency 

70. What turns you on? a couple thangs

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? not telling

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? ooooooh theres alot, just whisper a bunch of shit about how pretty i am, how im yours, and what you gonna do to me

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? i dont want anything... i do the giving

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? i dont 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? uh cant recall

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? .....too much to write out

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? 5 years is the limit

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? hm

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? eh 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? last month..

81. Who are five people you find attractive? nahhhh only the one and only JBaby

82. Who is the last person you hugged? Mommmmmaaaa

83. Who was your first kiss with? Gio lmfao

84. Why did your last relationship fail? Because i suffer from PTSD and i wasnt mentally ready for such an amazing beautiful man to sweep me off my feet so i started trying to cope in ways that hurt him.. im a piece of shit for that but it was too late you know? I fell in love with him when i knew i wasnt ready and still gave it a chance and then ii fucked it all up...im getting a tattoo to remember it..

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? no

[first-and-ten]

2017 Week 1 Review

Honestly that was so fulfilling. Is it possible something can break through the apathy of fascism fatigue? Is it possible that that thing is one of the most grossly capitalistic and exploitative pastimes of America? Or am I just happy the Patriots lost?

This week was a bit of a youth movement, it seems that all around the league, young players outclassed older players at QB, RB and WR. Obviously there’s always turnover in the NFL but I honestly think there’s a bit of a generational turnover that’s happening. Or maybe we’re all just finally used to an NFL without Peyton Manning.

TEAMS THAT NEED COLIN KAEPERNICK: Ravens, Browns, Colts, Texans, Jaguars, Bills, Jets, 49ers, Cardinals

Teams on Bye: MIA, TB

KC 42 - 27 NE [L] Game Ball: Alex Smith A fucking fun game to watch. The worst game in terms of points allowed and yards allowed by Bill Belichick’s Pats. Tom Brady was 108-0 in his career when entering the 4th quarter with a lead. Boy was that fun to watch. Now, I’m not gonna say the Patriots aren’t gonna run away with the AFC, but this loss was pretty real. New England was stopped on two 4th-and-shorts where they called bizarrely predictable runs up the middle. They couldn’t get Brady and his pass catchers on the same page. The line didn’t protect him, either. The defense was beyond unimpressive, they crumbled in the last quarter and got completely deflated. Gronk looked slow. I’m sure a lot of this will get fixed, but some of it might take more than a week. Kareem Hunt set the rookie record for yards from scrimmage in a debut game. Alex Smith took shots downfield with ease and success. He almost reached 1/3 of his TD total from last season before this season even really started. I know as a Broncos fan I should be grumpy that the Chiefs won this game, but a) it was a pyrrhic victory as they lost Eric Berry, and b) as a Broncos fan I can’t help but be SO HAPPY the Patriots lost. It just feels good.

JAX 29 - 7 HOU [L] Game Ball: Calais Campbell Lol wouldn’t it be wild if the year that finally nobody thinks the Jaguars will make progress, they actually made progress? More likely, though, the Texans are REALLY bad. They can’t block, they can’t cover, they can’t pass. They can’t seem to get a week 1 starter through the kickoff game ever. I guess Leonard Fournette looks good. Anyway, Houston was maybe a bit distracted.

PHI 30 - 17 WSH [W] Game Ball: Carson Wentz I TOLD YOU Wentz was the new Favre!

NYJ 12 - 21 BUF [L] Game Ball: LeSean McCoy Oop, okay, the Jets are the worst.

OAK 26 - 16 TEN [L] Game Ball: Marshawn Lynch Yeah, he’s back. Yikes. I saw this game as more impressive from the Raiders than disappointing for the Titans, I just got a bit ahead of myself jumping on the Titans bandwagon.

BAL 20 - 0 CIN [L] Game Ball: CJ Mosley Is there anything more humiliating than getting shut out at home by a division rival in the kickoff? Goddamn. I’m not one to overreact but goddamnit can they keep Andy Dalton out there looking like that? Or would AJ McCarron look just as bad behind that line? Baltimore’s defense also is very impressive, but their offense is a concern just like I thought it would be. The loss of Danny Woodhead signals hard times for an already-shaky run game.

ARI 23 - 35 DET [L] Game Ball: Matthew Stafford After Stafford’s first pass was a pick-6 in the red zone it looked like this one would be a strong Arizona win, but in the 4th quarter he extended his record % of fourth quarter comebacks. I still like Arizona’s defense, but the age on their offense was apparent. I think Palmer might be done, which would make this team done too, seeing as David Johnson is gone for at least 10 weeks.  The Lions defense is better than I thought, and their rookie wideout who caught people’s attention in the preseason proved useful on two TD catches.

ATL 23 - 17 CHI [W] Game Ball: Brooks Reed Right down to the wire! Reed sacked Mike Glennon on fourth and goal with no time on the clock. Apparently this was Atlanta’s first win in Chicago since like the the 80s, so... Cool? All in all this was pretty much what I expected: The Bears didn’t roll over, the Falcons defense carried them as their offense sputtered from a lack of creativity. Tarik Cohen got over 100 yards, so that’s a thing I guess?

PIT 21 - 18 CLE [W] Game Ball: Antonio Brown Brown was all over the field keeping Pittsburgh from falling into the trap game. They got a TD before running an offensive snap after blocking and returning Cleveland’s first punt attempt. From there, though, it was a bit of a slog. Told you this offense could take a little time to get going. And that Cleveland might not be their usual pushover selves.

IND 9 - 46 LAR [W] Game Ball: Wade Phillips and Cooper Kupp The Rams scored me so many fantasy points. The Colts had to put Jacoby Brissett in the game, after saying he wouldn’t play this week because he didn’t know the playbook. Why would Tolzien even try when you basically just said you’ve replaced him? And how can you turn around then and put Brissett in? What a disaster. The Rams offense also looked incredible, by the way. Not good, incredible. I’ll be fascinated to see how well they can do going forward, this is a game that can’t be taken too seriously but it’s not crazy to think that Goff, Cooper Kupp, Sammy Watkins, and Sean McVey have this thing going. The thing that should be worrisome is that this high score (yeah, the Rams lead the NFL in points right now) is partly a product of not being able to salt away the game with runs.

SEA 9 - 17 GB [L] Game Ball: Aaron Rodgers Welp, I was wrong. After an entire half of stalemate, Aaron Rodgers once again willed his team to victory, with some help from the zebras. Not a ton, but some.  The o-line is a mess again. I can’t believe we are back here, in week one, talking about how the bad line play could be the Seahawks’ undoing. I mean obviously it won’t, but jesus, can we fix this shit in the offseason some time instead of in week 6 every year?  Awesome work by both defenses, somehow. If Green Bay is finally in a position to keep teams to less than 28 points per game, look out NFL.

CAR 23 - 3 SF [W] Game Ball: Cam Newton Don't be fooled by the late FG, this was a shutout. At home, in a Shanahan coaching debut. Ugly shit. Nobody could take advantage of Carolina’s secondary. Cam played from the pocket a lot, which doesn't really surprise me but was... Odd to see. I think this offense is still taking shape.

NYG 3 - 19 DAL [W] Game Ball: Dak Prescott Ugh, yawn.  Guys, you really have to pay Odell now. He is your entire offense. Your D bailed your ass out so hard, this game should have been 35-0. You almost made Brandon Marshall go a full game without a catch for the first time since his rookie year. This is the dude who caught 21 balls in one game once, and ostensibly your #1 receiver! You can’t run the ball for shit, and it’s equal parts bad blocking, bad play design, and lack of air threat. Giants, I hate you for letting the Cowboys be the Cowboys again. I just have to hope the Broncos can do better, especially with Orlando Scandrick out. We can’t have the Dallas D looking good because they get to open against two of the most dysfunctional o-lines in the league.

NO 19 - 29 MIN [L] Game Ball: Dalvin Cook Still not sure whether I can bring myself to root fully for New Orleans this season. Their defense still looked awful, allowing Sam Bradford to pull and Alex Smith and suddenly look awesome (though statistically he did have an incredible year in 2016 as well.) I will say, it was kinda great seeing Dalvin Cook break AP’s franchise record for yards gained in a rookie debut, while Peterson looked on from the bench. I don’t even know what’s going on there, because given the Saints’ history there’s an equal chance that Sean Payton played it right and knew how to maximize his run game and just didn’t have enough touches because they fell behind, or that he just vindictively denied AP his revenge game, or that he just kinda forgot that he had a future first-ballot HOF RB sitting on the bench ready to run angry. Either way, beautiful stuff. Boring ass game though.

LAC 21 - 24 DEN [W] Game Ball: Trevor Siemian Broncos week 1 2012: Peyton Manning’s return proves thrilling as the Steelers’ late would-be-game-winning drive is ended by a Tracy Porter pick Broncos week 1 2013: Manning is the first player in decades to throw 7 TDs in a game as the Broncos get revenge on the Ravens  Broncos week 1 2014: After giving Denver fits with his legs, Andrew Luck’s last-minute would-be-game-winning drive is ended by a 4th down pass deflection by rookie CB Bradley Robey Broncos week 1 2015: In a hardcore defensive battle with 0 offensive touchdowns, former Ravens safety Darian Stewart intercepts Joe Flacco in the end zone to prevent the go-ahead touchdown in the final seconds Broncos week 1 2016: Hosting the Panthers for a Super Bowl rematch, the Broncos win despite giving Carolina FG position on penalties in the final seconds because Kubiak ices Graham Gano’s kick Broncos week 1 2017: After leading by 17 in the 4th quarter, the Broncos give up 14 points in less than 2 minutes thanks to questionable turnovers and only hang on to beat the LA Chargers in a double-coaching-debut by once again icing a kicker, this time a rookie You can’t say the Broncos don’t entertain. I can’t quite believe how many plays we pulled on Joey Bosa. Siemian continues to impress, as does CJ Anderson. That interception came on pass interference, but then again the Chargers had a brutal dropped INT early so I guess it’s just karma. Offensive line held up remarkably well until Ronald Leary went down, watching his health this week with bated breath. 

Record this week: 7-8 Record this season: 7-8 Locks record: 2-1 (Survivors used: ATL) Upsets record: 1-3 2014 pace: 9-7 Pickwatch leader: 13-2 (Jack Jorgensen, Fansided)

NFL Title Belt: LAR (won from IND) DSA (Dos Shula Award for not losing) candidates: KC, BUF, ATL, BAL, PIT, DET, JAX, OAK, PHI, LAR, GB, CAR, DAL, MIA, TB, DEN MMA (Matt Millen Award for not winning) candidates: NE, NYG, CHI, CIN, CLE, ARI, HOU, TEN, WSH, IND, SEA, SF, NYG, MIA, TB, LAC

The Room Where It Happens: N/A Fallen Tributes: N/A

FANTASY CORNER

Danger Squirrels 124 - 142.5 Toilet City Browns [L, 0-1]

Some clear missteps here: I should have started Melvin Gordon over CJ Anderson, but Martellus Bennett as my TE and swapped Greg Olsen for Jonathan Stewart. But how was I to know that Stewart’s production would be unaffected by Christian McCaffrey, or that Olsen would inexplicably disappear from a passing attack that usually centers around him, or that Melvin Gordon would get a passing TD and Trev would steal CJ’s? And damn the Giants defense for doing okay real-world-wise but crap for fantasy. My opponent left Randall Cobb’s points on the bench but was solid enough across the roster to overcome Jimmy Graham’s dud week. This is the dude I tied with for the championship last year, so this one makes me grumpy.

Siemian the Finals 161.96 - 127.78 The Papists [W, 1-0]

I would fret about having left CJ Procise in for Randall Cobb and not getting Stafford’s big day on the board, but as you can see my opponent left Jay Ajayi in his lineup and my defense outscored his top two performers combined. I’ll take it.

[ircmeltdown]

Blowfish begs for a tilde

blowfish: yo i think that nigga put that in a honeypot or an iot

blowfish: i noticed

blowfish: SH4.1

blowfish: as the shell

blowfish: he left a mark

blowfish: w/ irc.supernets.org

blowfish: behind

blowfish: LOL

blowfish: why does acid have higher oper then me

blowfish: he has &

blowfish: i brought him here

ak: who knows or cares

ak: not like hes abusing it

blowfish: neither am i

blowfish: he barely chats

blowfish: he should be brouyght down to +o like i was

blowfish: just making a point

ak: acid gave me 14 boxes

ak: thats p sick if u ask me

blowfish: im your nigga tho

blowfish: dude thats not cool man

ak: yeah you are

ak: hence why u got chanops and linkops

blowfish: i wan me tilde back

ak: u literally just want netops for the rep and vanity

ak: which is stupid as fuck

blowfish: i understand how to oper

blowfish: just because i wasnt chatting for a 3 days

blowfish: doesnt give you the right to do that

blowfish: and say I don't know how to oper

blowfish: whats the point of even having link ops

blowfish: it doesnt do shit

blowfish: i cant sajoin shit

blowfish: theres no fucking point 2 it

blowfish: i cant gzline

blowfish: and i may have handled the floods incorrectly but atleast i tried

ak: linkops gives u a ton of privs

ak: normal users dont have

blowfish: takbar never did shit

blowfish: all im saying dude

blowfish: is i tried and takbar never did

ak: operclass linker {

ak: privileges {

ak: channel { extbans; operonly; restrictedmodes; topic; };

ak: immune {

ak: channel { flood; };

ak: jointhrottle;

ak: limits;

ak: regonly;

ak: };

ak: kill { local; };

ak: override {

ak: ban { operonly; };

ak: channel { invite; };

ak: extban;

ak: invite;

ak: kick { nokick; }

ak: message;

ak: mode;

ak: see;

ak: topic;

ak: };

ak: privacy;

ak: self { ident; };

ak: server { info; opermotd; remote; };

ak: tkl { kline; };

ak: };

ak: };

ak: look @ all those privs bo

ak: privs 4 dayz

blowfish: why is it that blowfish gets knocked down the totem

blowfish: when he put in just as much effort as u did

blowfish: into making this irc pop

blowfish: take your time

ak: bringing chatters in here and chatting har is awesome

ak: that doesnt mean every person who does that gets netops

blowfish: so why does dolphgin get netops

ak: cus he knows how to oper

ak: he gets abusive but

ak: hes in his place now

blowfish: so do I

blowfish: just as much as he does

blowfish: i can use google just like he can

blowfish: anyone can

ak: he doesnt have to google

blowfish: neither do i

ak: ive witnessed how u handle floods

ak: all you do is +im every time

blowfish: name one thing

blowfish: ive deinitely

ak: other than that

ak: i didnt see u do

ak: anythign else with ops

blowfish: thats

blowfish: noit

blowfish: what i have done

ak: my memory is

ak: flawless and great

blowfish: ok

blowfish: remove me oper

blowfish: me link

blowfish: and me link

ak: are u really chimping out right now lol

blowfish: its not about a chimp out

blowfish: im just gonna be a normal chatter

ak: this is pathetic

ak: this is why i dont give u netops

ak: cus u whine when u dont get ur way

blowfish: its not about that

blowfish: its about me having me privs stripped

blowfish: so i will not contribute like u think i already dont

ak: "if i cant wear the crown, i dont wanna be in the castle"

blowfish: its not that, u think

blowfish: i dont contribute

ak: i said u do

ak: u chat and bring chatters

ak: and offer shells to keep chatters

ak: i just dont think u need a higher level of ops than you have right now

ak: i mean really

ak: most of the op shit is in #superbowl

ak: theres hardly any network op shit that even needs to be done

ak: 80% of the time

ak: anope handles so much shit now and the dnsbl's

ak: i dont really get what privs you want that youre lack right now

blowfish: gzline

blowfish: sajoin

blowfish: and a ~

blowfish: to show im an og

blowfish: and stuck along the way

ak: the only hosts that ever need to be gzline'd are bots

ak: and the dnsbl does that

ak: why do u need sajoin

ak: you and i both know you just wanna

ak: /fuckyou ppl

blowfish: no

blowfish: i dont

blowfish: quit being retarded

blowfish: u asked me what i wanted

blowfish: i told u bluntly

blowfish: sajoin

blowfish: gzline

blowfish: so i can handle

blowfish: when things need 2 be

blowfish: done

ak: blowfish: and a ~

ak: you literally want this for the vanity lol

ak: ~ dos nothing but prevent you from being kicked by lower level chanops.

ak: but u have linkops, so u can already ban evade

blowfish: ok remove the ~

blowfish: from u and takbar

blowfish: remove the ~

blowfish: from u and tkabar

blowfish: for the whole month

ak: what

ak: lol

blowfish: do it

ak: what the fuck

blowfish: why wont u

ak: are you

blowfish: remove it

ak: even

ak: saying

ak: rn

blowfish: if its juist vanity

blowfish: make yourselves only +o

ak: im saying its vanity in your eyes

blowfish: its vanity in your eyes 2

ak: what is ~ gonna do for you that u cant do rigt now?

blowfish: apparently

blowfish: i was ~ before and now im not

ak: what is ~ gonna do for you that u cant do rigt now?

* ak waits..

blowfish: if ur not giving me gzline or sajoin

blowfish: then take it all the way

blowfish: because theres no point in even having it

ak: are you actually blogging this long about 2 privs ???

ak: is this serious lol

blowfish: its v srs

blowfish: actually ur right

blowfish: acid gave u 17 boxes

blowfish: u dont need me box

blowfish: the ram can be used for shells for people

ak: answer these 3 questions...

ak: 1. what is ~ gonna do for you that you cant do right now

ak: 2. when would u even need sajoin besides to /fuckyou

ak: 3. why would u need gzline when dnsbl does all that

ak: abusive users get a kline/channebl ban, not a gzline

ak: which u can do already

blowfish: i need to sajoin when situations happen like mass kicks

ak: masskicks are pretty impossible with the anope access list..

blowfish: u and i both know dnsbl doesnt block everything

blowfish: ur a fool if u think that

ak: we have about 90 users here

ak: and the max users ever was 120

ak: 30 bots?

ak: looks like dnsbl works fine

blowfish: this is going nowhere

blowfish: your a psychotpath

ak: cus you arent making any points

blowfish: remove me

blowfish: im a normal chatter now

blowfish: In the event that the dnsbl gets through I would like to have my priviledges ban to remove the problem.

blowfish: theres plenty of times when im on @ 4am 5am or even early morning and shit goes wrong briefly

ak: you want to manually gzline a few bots instead of piling them in #lobby with +lL and ignoring it?

ak: that sounds like a waste of keys to type

blowfish: infact

blowfish: wat the actual fuck

blowfish: dude

blowfish: is wrong with u

ak: nothing actually

ak:

[curvyqt]

0 to 100 real quick

1. What have you eaten today? cereal, two slices of pizza

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? my boy and ohyes

3. What color shoes did you last wear? black and purple adidas

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? aj always makes me laugh my booty off

5. What is your favorite scent? aj’s shower gel tbh

6. What is your favorite season? Why? Ive decided on summer bc the beach, pool, bathing suits, messy hair, sun on my skin. i love it all

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? nah

8. What color are your nails? they’re not painted at the moment

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? probably something that looks like a henna design near my hair line

10. What is something you find romantic? forehead kisses, unexpected hand holding, surprises, making plans for our future

11. Are you happy? very

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? thinking about the months to come makes me happy

13. Dogs or Cats? both always

14. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? any except a night club for the most part

15. What is your style? sometimes sporty, sometimes cute with dresses, most of the time leggings with a cozy shirt lol

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? climbing into bed with my honey

17. Are you in a relationship or single? relationship 

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? the way he makes me laugh, how he holds me, that he can make everything feel alright, his honesty, and outlook on life. and obviously his cute ass face ;p

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? honestly no one

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? nope

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? stayed in and studied with honey

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?  eh not really

23. Were you ever in a school play? yes and choir for 13 years straight

24. What movie would you use to describe your life? u got me thinking rlly hard but uhh

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? waiting for the right time in life

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” the last piece of pizza with. o wait i doooo

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? the pettiness, the way they hate on other girls for no reason, thinking they’re better than everyone. like can we all just love and be nice thanks 

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? umm how some don’t understand womens rights/how women aren’t equal to them in society

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? when aj bought me girl scout cookies and pjs heh

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? donald. trump. (more like scared but)

31. How long was your longest relationship? 3 and a half years and counting xo

32. Have you ever been in love? yes

33. Are you currently in love? yes

34. Why did your last relationship end? we weren’t right for each other. 

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? the ring and necklace my honey gave me

36. When was the last time you cried and why? today bc this guys wife died in the show we were watching :( 

37. Name someone pretty. @my cat adele and lacey

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? some panties, chocolates, a lush gift set, a stuffie and some hello kitty stuff

39. Do you get jealous easily? nope

40. Have you ever been cheated on? probably idk 

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? with all of my heart 

42. Ever had detention? yes in high school yikes

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? i like the city but id also like somewhere more in a neighborhood.

44. What do people call you? mostly jenn and jenny. at work I’m rlly known as jennbunn/jennybunnie (bc i do really nice hair buns lol) and jenny from the block. aj and i have a billion nicknames for each other lol

45. What was the last book you read?  the poetry book Dirty Pretty Things

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? i can be a dork sometimes *pushes up glasses* 

47. What kind of music do you listen to? everything. really. hip hop, rap, country, oldies, classical, punk rock

48. How tall are you? 5 feet 4 inches

49. Do you like kids? in they’re well behaved lol

50. Favorite fruits? watermelon, strawberry, pineapple yum

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans 

52. What’s your earliest memory? after my parents divorced we had to go see my dad for visits every other weekend and i remember that. i was only 2. 

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? yes :*

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind. i love taking pictures. my iPad/iphone has to be the biggest gb 

55. Do you have a collection of anything? makeup!!!!! so much makeup. and duckies

56. Do you save money or spend it? i try to do both

57. What would your dream house be like? huge. beautiful and modern with a big yard with an inground pool, volleyball court, basketball court and lots of grass space. the inside would have enough bedrooms for friends/family to stay over if need be. so minimum probably 4. id have my own room that could have my vanity and all of my makeup in it. the master would have a giant closet and the master bathroom would have a double wide shower and huge jacuzzi tub. we’d have an office/library, a workout room, a music room, a beautiful kitchen and a basement with a game room and a theater/movie room. (i love home design lol) 

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? people being unnecessary, rude people, people always trying to start something, pettiness, people being mean to animals 

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? aj ma. the beach. when my makeups on point. payday. my kitties. shopping. 

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? ig I’m getting fired

61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? id tell aj and no one else. id live life luxuriously and happily. id be a tad afraid but at least I’m prepared and able to live the rest of my days to the fullest. 

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. love

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Hawaii 

64. Do you like the beach? i love the beach

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? all the time

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! joyce

67. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes 

68. Describe your hair. pretty long, light brown, wavy/curly depending how it drys, soft, and thick

69. What is the meaning of life. To find what you love and who you love and to do whatever that is and enjoy it with whoever that is. 

70. What is your ideal partner like? well his name is aj ma 

71. Do you want to get married? yes

72. Do you want to have kids? I’m honestly not sure yet.

73. Like or dislike your family? like for the most part. some of them tho…yikes

74. Are you Chunky or Slim? thick as fuck

75. Would you consider yourself smart? id say so

76. What would you change about your life? can i be a millionaire lol

77. Religious or Not? not at all

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? this wouldn’t happen soo 

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? not at all ;p

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yes my honey

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? in bed, being naughty and then sleeping all cuddled up

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? he has a key but id still open the door if i was right there 

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? loveee it

84. Do you like bubble baths? yes so much

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? yup for an out tail light but no ticket

86. Have you ever danced in the rain? yes and kissed. its great

87. Do you trust anyone with your life? aj ma

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? did aj wake up for class? 

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) hawaii, italy, paris, vietnam, australia, new york, rio, san francisco, washington, mexico. 

90. How was your day today? pretty good

91. Play an instrument?  nah

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. fascinating, kinda scary but oh so beautiful. 

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? both yes

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? even better.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? if need be lmao

96. When are you vulnerable? when I’m on my period

97. How much free time do you have? a pretty good amount

98. Do you like to go hiking? i hope to this summer!

99. Odd or Even Numbers? odd

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? I really would try any of those things as long as aj was by my side

Thanks for asking!!!