#real ”i dont wanna go home” ”i dont wanna sleep alone” shit goin on here

[moestavern]

Uhh something something sharing a pool table

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” ��Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[younglyricist]

I lost everything now...

Most my family is deceased.

Im going through a shit strom with the system cause my ex tried to murder me, down to no job with no car, low hopes jumping hoops, Lord im trying to do right but I ask my self why do i even stay alive and i cant answer it anymore cuz i don't know if i wanna survive.

If there's a satan im afraid my soul he won.

Im finally done ill admit im at the feet of defeat.

This life i no longer want to keep.

Nightmares to the point i dont wanna sleep.

And i just wanna be left alone.

Hell has become my home,

Cuz i got a few devil's up in my dome that come to call it home.

I wanna leave but i dont know what to do.

What if our calls when we pray don't makie it through?

Cause these nightmares seem to continue,

Oh god here's a tissue.

You probably getting i got some issues.

Which i aint goin deni im losing my mind. these thoughts eat me alive all the time.

I don't know if heaven is real but hell i did find.

Im just a broken down dad losing everything i ever had.

Questioning everyday if im going mad.

Am i really that bad?

Cause I had enough of this

Judge me cause i smoke cannabis. Like its any of your business.

Cuz I'm having a hard time dealing with these feelings

That are killing me and the funny thing is how much a plant can help me

From a depression that owns me And anxiety that controls me.

But ever as i write this poem..

Im cold living in my dads broken down home, losing everyone i held close to my heart.. I wish i could go to the start and restart...

I was stupid to let such sins enter my heart...

So many times ive seen my world fall part...

So many times ive lived my life lost in the dark.

So many times i saw a spark in the distant.

A glimmer of hope till my devil's consume it in a instant.

I try to break free but their persistent its why my writtings are always consistent.

But im done writting cause inside im done fighting...

writing this sitting in a bed in a room my brother was found dead like what the hell is wrong in my head. I wish this was all pretend but it's not i just want this nightmare to end..

So until next time be safe my friends...

[likeadrug-ff]

F O U R

L O N D Y N 

After Loryns grand opening we waited for her to come back so we could go out and celebrate but this hoe never came home. So the girls and I went to bed while mama went back to work. Kaiden ended up sleeping over but left early to check on his brother. 

---

All this week I had my head in the books studying for my exams. It was definitely crunch time. I had just got done taking my exams and I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had a good feeling about my results so I called the girls after I got in the car. I leaned the seat back and got comfortable while waiting. 

“Waddup bitch?” I could tell that was Leilani stupid ass. Laughing at her I said, “what yall doing tonight?” 

“Wait. Can we make this a group face time?” I huffed and pulled the phone away from my ear. I clicked the face time option and seconds later their faces popped up. “Yall hoes aint doin shit.” I mumbled looking at them. 

“Girl I just left the shop. Im relaxing so shut up.” Loryn replied. “Speaking of the shop, where you disappear to last week?” Waiting for her reply, she looked away smiling hard, im talking dimples hard. “Must've been with Ace huh? I seen him sneaking in.” Leilani blurted out. 

“Girl,” Loryn smacked her teeth, “he came in there talking bout he had a gift for me in the car. I know yall seen me leaving with him. Anyway, we get in the car and this nigga hands me a duffel full of stacks.” My jaw dropped. “This bitch didnt say a stack. Her ass said full of stacks!” Lolani beat me to it. “Girl get out of my head!” I teased. 

“This the good part here, he also got me this Pandora bracelet,” she lifted her arm to show us, “and a Cuban link chain. Then gon’ come out his mouth and say, dont get fucked up out here. Remember who ya man is.” We all screamed and gassed it up. “Oh shiiiiit sus! My sista got a man, my sista got a man!” The girls and I sung. The only thing Loryn could muster up was, “I guess so.” 

After we all calmed down I repeated my question from earlier. They replied with basically saying nothing. “I just got done taking my exams, and I dont feel like going to work at that bargain store.” Leilani smacked her teeth. “They gon’ fire you yo.” I shrugged. “And I wont give a fuck. Anywho, lets go out tonight? Drinks on me cause I know I aced that shit!” 

“Free drinks? Hell to da yeah!” Lolani snapped her fingers and started dancing. In high school I had this friend that made fake IDs. I asked him to make some for us and he did it with no problem. It had our pictures on it but he just changed the birthday. “Thats what Im talking bout. Well Im on my way home so get shit popping.” I hung up on them and cranked my baby up. 

When I made it home and inside, the girls had Dreezy playing throughout the house. Mama was still at work of course. I went to my room and hopped in the shower before running the flat iron through my hair. “Let me use your foundation.” Loryn came in the bathroom looking through my cabinets. “Im almost running out now.” Shes been using my shit more than me. “I’ll get you some more.” She replied and walked out with the foundation in her hand.

“Are you ladies ready?” I glanced at the clock and seen it was hitting eight thirty. I had enough time to do my hair, a nice beat and get fly as fuck. I picked up my shoes and everything else I needed before turning the light out and heading in the living room. All my sisters looked good. Right when we were about to walk out mama walked in.

“And where in the hell are yall going?” She examined our outfits and shook her head. “Where the rest of yall clothes at?” I leaned all of my weight on one leg and sighed. “Ma c’mon now.” She kissed our foreheads and said, “please be safe and look out for each other.”

“Oh yeah, can we drive the Rubicon?” Loryn was fidgeting with her hands. Mama cocked her head to the side. “And who will be driving?” They snapped their heads in my direction saying, “Londyn.” She took the keys off the wall and held them to me. “Dont wreck it!” She yelled as we rushed out the house in excitement.  

Stepping inside of the club, I drug them to the bar and ordered shots of Hennessy. “Lets get fucked up!” I asked the bartender for another round of shots and after downed them, we went to the dance floor. “Girl dont look now, but I think I see Kaiden.” My head snapped in the direction Loryn was looking in so fast. Now why would this bitch even tell me not to look?

Kaiden and I made eye contact and he gave me a good overlook. When he noticed how I was dressing he got up from the table, whispered something in his brothers ear, who I just noticed was here, and made his way to me. “Wassup ladies?” He greeted my sisters. “You single now or sumn?” I was beyond confused. 

“I mean you dressed like you aint got no man so you must be.” I didnt see anything wrong with my outfit. I thought I looked good as fuck. “Fuck wrong witchu Londyn?” I jerked my head back. “Hey to you too, yeah my exams went well today.” I fired off sarcastically. His face softened. “Damn I forgot you had to take ya exams this week.” This nigga here. 

“I already know ya smart ass passed that shit so congrats princess.” He lent down pressed his lips to mines. His hands made their way to my ass. “Lets go to the bathroom real quick.” I pushed him back a little and shook my head. “Pause. What are you doing here anyway?” I placed my hands on my hips only for Kaiden to slap them down. 

“Working.” He responded nonchalantly shrugging. “With your brother here?” I could already see him catching an attitude. “We goin’ to the bathroom or what?” I rolled my eyes. “No nigga. Buy me a drink.” He pulled his pants up a little and grabbed onto my hips. Walking back to the bar I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Lolani and Karter was looking mighty comfortable, enjoying each others company and shit. 

“You tryna be a love doctor I see.” I slid into the small space between him and the bar. I looked up at him as he ordered two Hennessy straights. “Whatchu talkin’ bout?” I gave him my best nigga please face. “Your brother and Lolani?” 

Kaiden searched around for them then suddenly stopped. “Girl mind yo business. And for two, I aint even know yall was gon’ be here.” My sister is my business. “That girl is grown believe it or not,” he handed me my drink and I gladly took a sip, “she gon’ do what she wanna do regardless. She probably aint even gon’ give his ass a chance.” 

“Why you think that?” He opened his mouth but closed it back shrugging. “Just a guess.” Mhm, you think you slick nigga. Ima just leave it alone until shes ready to tell me about Karter. Downing the rest of our drinks Kaiden wrapped his arms around my waist, swaying our bodies to the music. “I've been missing you like crazy.” He left trails of soft kisses on my neck. “Shit. I cant tell.” I fussed. “I haven't seen you this whole week.”

I poked my bottom lip out. I was really missing my man and only wanted to be under him while studying. “My fault baby. Ive been busy wit work and everythang. Niggas short on money nshit like that.” He sighed looking down at me. I applaud Kaiden for being about his money, I just wished he went about it another way. “You got all my attention.” We were in our own little world. Not giving a damn who seen us slobbering each other down at the bar. 

L E I L A N I 

Seems like I was the only bitch single out here and the dj had some nerve. Playing slow jams all night. Loryn, who was holding the keys in her purse, handed them over to me about an hour ago. This hoe was ditching us again for Ace. Said he had “plans” for them. Lolani and Londyn were in their own little worlds so I made me way outside and to the jeep. 

“Where you been hiding at lil mama?” I knew that voice like the back of my hand. “I been here, just staying lowkey.” I could feel him burning a whole through the back of my head. “Oh yeeeeah, staying lowkey after you killed my child huh?” In a swift second I was facing him. 

“Dont,” I held my hand up. “we would've ruined that kid and you know it. You was running around fucking mad hoes.” Jamal took a step towards me and I held my breath. “You aint so innocent LeiLei.” I loved when he called me that. “I never crossed you! Anything I did, was done after you. I know you think I was wrong for killing the baby but I did what was best for us.” I refused to cry. I did enough crying after I aborted my child. 

That was something I had to do on my own; without my sisters. Without their comfort. My family was against abortion but I couldn't bring that child into this world knowing I couldn't raise it. “Are you happy without me?” Truth be told I couldn't answer that. “Ive changed LeiLei. And I know Ive said that many time but I mean it this time. Let me show you.” Jamal was never the type to beg. 

I met him in middle school and from then we had this love hate relationship. But when it came time for high school we hooked up, and boy we were fucking like rabbits. Everyone thought we were dating so played along not knowing that it would end up serious. The same day I found out about being pregnant was the same day his fuck buddy came to me. Also the same day Jamal got arrested, for damn near killing her. 

She wanted to be bold and let him know what she had done, and that was the reaction he gave her in return. “Lei?” He now had his hands on my waist. I missed his touch. I quickly backed up and handed him my phone. “Put your number in and I’ll hit you up. I gotta smoke on this shit.” Without hesitation he put his number in.

When I got my phone back I proceeded on my way. My leg felt like jelly and I was too geeked when I found the truck. I got in the backseat and immediately went for the weed and woods. I cant believe this nigga just popped his ass up on me. How? Why? After all this time you decided to just show up? Now? He just gotta be shitting me man.

It only took me five minuted to roll up and I sparked it with quickness after I was done. I sat in nothing but silence and a cloud full of smoke. Mama would kill me if she knew about me smoking in here but shit, oh well.

Lolani almost made me shit bricks when she knocked on the window. I unlocked the door and opened it. “Why you just aint use ya phone stupid?” I scolded. She shrug ans slid in beside me. “Why you aint getting lit?” I lifted the wood. “I am.” After snatching it from me she questioned,”I mean in there Lei.” She bent down to unzip her heels.

“Yall bitches left me and went after some dick. Loryn is with Ace, Londyn in there swallowing Kaiden tongue and you,” I looked over at her “well shit you here now.” She hit the wood a couple of times before passing it back to me. “Karter wont really bout shit ya know? It was like a one way conversation if you asked me.” 

“You could've fooled me.” Smoke got caught in my throat and coughed hard as hell. “You sound like a man.” “Fuck you. But anyways you do know thats gonna be your brother in law?” I took another hit and passed it to her. “Kaiden and Londyn really fucking with each other. So I think you should just let that go sus.” I only wanted the best for my twin. 

“Omari has a baby on the way.” “I just seen Jamal.” We blurted at the same time. Lolani quickly put the wood out and turned her body towards me. “Where has he been?” “Your guess is as good as mine. He just popped the fuck up. Scared a bitch too.” Be both shared a laugh. “Nah but listen, he went to jail for beating up a bitch he was cheating with and now he says that he changed. I missed him. A lot.”

I felt like venting so thats what I did. “It was like, during our relationship my whole world revolved around him. I did everything I could for him and it still wasn't enough. He just had to dip into something new.” I picked at my nails. “I ended up getting pregnant but aborted it.” A single tear fell from my eye. “Lei,” 

“I never wanted to do it Lolani. I swear! I still think about how fucked up I was for killing an innocent child, but..” Lolani slid close to me and hugged me tight. “Who am I to judge Lei? Im your sister and Im far from innocent.” She kissed my forehead and sighed. “Fuck Jamal. You dont need him. Shit we dont need these niggas girl. You can always find someone better who will literally worship the ground you walk on. Trust me, I know.” 

She continued comforting me until our phones chimed. It was Londyn letting us know that she was going on home with Kaiden. “Andrews?” Without saying a word we both jumped in the front. Might as well eat before we head home. “You better air this shit out.” Lolani reminded me. 

[deeton]

vent

i swear i never do this. like not just on tumblr like in real life also literally last week i gently touched on the subject of my personal life matters to my proffesor and starting crying. i NEVER cry. why am i like this. anyways im gonna add one of these boys in cuz ig this is gonna be a long mf  post 

anyways i have no long term goals and i just dont,, fucking care,,, about school. but i love school so much. besides the schoolwork, obviously. but i love it here. i go to school in miami and im from michigan so like it’s actually fucking great. im finishing my sophmore year and writing this post instead of my essay that was due at 11:59 as it’s almost 5:30 am (oops forgot to hit send!) and i have another essay due i got an extention on thats in spanish and then i have my final spanish essay due tomorrow at 9 pm so im just not gonna sleep ig. i voluntarily do the wrong thing. like why . what the fuck. am i in control of my own control? im just so out of balance. and i just donntttt give a shit about anythingggg that i actually need to give a shit about. i wasnt always like this. i mean i use short term goals to get me by. make it to the next festival. make it to the next flight home to be w my parents whom i love dearly. but i dont feel a purpose for anything. i feel like i just want to make people happy and thats it. i just wanna make eveeryone happy. and theyre not. like my brother caused all this drama w my lesbian friends cuz theyre a couple and he deadass asked one of them to fuck behind the others back so now the other girl is salty and wont sell him wax and hes alwaaaaaaaaaays using wax all day every day and he doesnt get out much and his friends are shitty and hes so lonely and it’s so sad cuz hes actually really enjoyable to be around and idk whats goin on in his head. he doesnt believe in 12 steps. he may or may not have taken xans recently after all that work fighting a nasty battle with h for like a year at least. he told me he was thinkin of selling bars i said no dude. like you can just sell wax and not fuck up ppls lives and ik hell take it if he has it cuz thats what i would do. i just want him to have friends

anyways this is the end of my sophmore year of undergrad and it’s the first year where i actually made real live actual friends in mia who actually wanna hang out w me. im michigan i always had friends but each and every one of them is their special kind of wack and makes me sad sometimes but thats life ig???? or could it be better........................... oh except my family friends we’re all on some ride or die shit i love them. but i have friends kinda and it’s awesome but when im alone left w my own thought actively not writing essays i feel like such a piece of shit and im so full of hate. i constantly make hypothetical arguments with people im beefin with and i just make things seem os much worse in my head. i think i hold so much hate for so many people because im supplying it. i hate myself, and im spreading it onto actual stupid ppl who are stupid (thats not hate thats just fax) i dont wanna be gay. i hate myself for being gay. fuck counseling btw im not about that shit thats why im here lol. IDK my parents and family and friends love me for me but i just feel so guilty about it. i feel bad like all the time maybe thats why i look for an escape so much and look forward so heavily to music festivals. im literally awesome tho like im naturally the shit and am really cool and want to make ppl happy but i think i turn a blind eye to this negative side of myself. to be so full of hate it must be out in the open for people to see. i dont know what to do with it, where to put it, or how to destroy it. i just want to destroy myself instead, so instead of turning to drugs and alc, i turn to social media and not giving a shit about my future so that i can destroy my future self since i cant destroy the me who i am rn, otherwise id end up sent to rehab and super addicted to something. i wonder why i have 0 love life and i say im looking 4 love but where it @ tho. ppl just try and use me. and some people who are close to me turn out being weirdly jealous and start being mean and it fucking sucks. i need to meditate on it lol. this sucks, i cant wait to go home but i have to do the work first and i just dont. fucking. want to. 0 motivation. i can barely get out of bed in the morning and when i do thats just where i end up. i just keep telling myself nothing is real but it all is. i use to firmly be a solipsist and say nothing is real but human beings proved me wrong in good and bad ways. i could eat more than  i do i just havent been this last couple weeks bc deadlines mostly. fuck school but i love my school. it took me soooooo fucking long to find my people tho like wasted a year of my life so fuck that.

[dragon-zena]

even More OC group chat shenanigans

HUGHES: Madena oh my god

ZI: jdndjdjdjjd madena you did NOT

MADENA: I TOTALLY DID IM SVDBDBHD

HUGHES: I hate this Madena wh

HUGHES: “considering that I am a gay,,,” LIKE

ZI: “half of us,,,are immigrants,,,and children and grandchildren of immigrants,,,,end it” like has your best friend ever

HUGHES: YEAH MY BEST FRIEND HAS EVER THEY DID IT TODAY YOU WERE THERE

MADENA: im sorry but like what did she expect complaining about gay people and immigrants to a nb bisexual with two parents from two different continents...like? Ok

ZI: let's debate sexuality when it's obvious that half the class are LGBT and the other half are bigots!!!

ZI: let's talk about “illegal” immigration when almost EVERYONE IN THE ROOM has a close family member that immigrated here!

HUGHES: RIGHT AND TBIS IS AP POLISCI NOT AP “DISCUSS HUMAN RIGHTS” LET'S N O T

MADENA: this is both the greatest and worst day of my life why did I SAY that dbdbdn

ZI: what u said was true and you should say it

MADENA: mnmerrg

ZI: mads ur literally iconic there are literally people talking about u being their hero I'm???

HUGHES: I can't believe the evil was thoroughly defeated in our third hour class today.

MADENA: theevilisdefeated.png

CAMILLA: Narla!

NARLA: Yeah?

CAMILLA: Friendly reminder that we have a game today uwu……….do u have what u need? You dint have ur knee pads last time

NARLA: Fuck, I honestly forgot my stuff. I'm probably gonna drive home and get them.

NARLA: And never say “friendly reminder” or use uwu ever again in my presence.

CAMILLA: You should let Zi bring you uwu

NARLA: Perish, you bitch. You bully. You scoundrel.

CAMILLA: ;^)

NARLA: Hey, Zi. Are you busy after school? I was hoping that I could get a ride home, today. I have to get my vball gear for tonight.

ZI: oh! Yeah! I'll be waiting in the car after school. Can i

ZI: uh

NARLA: ?

ZI: can I come watch you, tonight?

NARLA: I'm blushing so hard she asked to come watch us tonight.

CAMILLA: HELL YEA we need the support

CAMILLA: Not that we gonna lose but your biggest fan being there is gonna make u go into overdrive.........ur gonna beast out........

CAMILLA: ion know if the other team is gonna stand a chance

NARLA: PERISH, ASSHOLE.

NARLA: Of course you can come! :)!

ZI: !!!

CAMILLA: WELCOM TO MY F U CK HO US E

MADENA: we have banini...and avocaidi…

HUGHES: Perish

ZI: perish

NARLA: Perish.

MADENA: Oh worm? Permission granted?

ZI: MADS NO

HUGHES: N O

ZI: mmmmmMMMAAAAAAAAAAA

STEPHANI: God, same.

HUGHES: What's going on in Louisiana? ):

NARLA: They keep raising the prom fee as though we're made of money. Lmao.

JUSTINE: I mean, Narla will be fine, she’s actually made of money,,, but like, not many other people will be.

ZI: LMAO.

MADENA: Zi ):

ZI: im sorry im sorry I just

NARLA: I'll pay for you to go. I'll pay for any of you, if you need it. It's not like we're using it for much, at home.

CAMILLA: ,,, Narla,,, ur mom

NARLA: Irrelevant.

MADENA: godiwishthatwereme.png

CAMILLA: aight……………………..

ZI: id die for Narla but whatever

HUGHES: You're at her game, aren't u

ZI: …no

HUGHES: …

ZI: …yes

ZI: Hughes her thighs...her calves….me gay

MADENA: I heard gay what's goin on

MADENA: oh its just z nvm

ZI: thighs.mp4

ZI: look at her go!

CAMILLA: ive come from the court to tell u that you are Definitely in the wrong chat

MADENA: ho-o-oly shit

CAMILLA: i got her phone lmao y'all secrets safe w me

CAMILLA: just deleted those messages have fun in pineville bye

HUGHES: Isn't that actually a place in Louisiana

HUGHES: Cami?

ZI: she's back on the court but yeah it is

ZI: holy shit I owe Camilla my entire life im going to the T3 Group Chat

HUGHES: real paranoia hours

HUGHES: if u up alone at 3:10 in the morning

HUGHES: hearing things, seeing things, and overthinking ur relationships

HUGHES: slam that mf like

HUGHES: this is so stupid like wow I love. feeling this way. Fave. 10 out of fuckign 10 i lobe iy

HUGHES: I need tk pee but im svared tk adn no ones up i catn

CAMILLA: oh shit

CAMILLA: ok okay im up right now, I'm here right now, I need you to take deep breaths for me

HUGHES: catn’

CAMILLA: can I call u

HUGHES: yehh

ZI: oh no

NARLA: Hughes, are you okay, now? I'm sorry that I wasn't awake when you needed someone. ):

CAMILLA: they asleep rn but I think they r ok for rn

CAMILLA: has this happened before zi

ZI: not to this extent

ZI: sometimes he does focus extensively on everything around him and it makes him anxious

NARLA: Maybe this should wait until Hughes says that we have his permission to talk about this.

CAMILLA: yeah

HUGHES: last night was a shit show

HUGHES: my bad

MADENA: Are u ok now?

ZI: ^

NARLA: ^

CAMILLA: ^

JUSTINE: ^

STEPHANI: ^

HUGHES: Yeah thanks

HUGHES: Camilla made me take sleep medicine and i pretty much passed out soon after lmao

CAMILLA: Sleep > Being Awake lmao

MADENA: mood

ZI: ......everybody wants to be a cat.....

HUGHES: oh my god not again

ZI: aS quare witha horn makes u wish u werent born evertime he plays

MADENA: Oh A Rinky Tinky Tinky!

ZI: with a square in the act! u can set musci back! to the caveman days!

NARLA: Oh, a rinky tinky tinyk!

HUGHES: This is torture you’re all doing ths knowing it was my fave song to play in jazz band end me

MADENA:  👀 👀 👀

Narla: RIP...It was my fault, I wanted to watch The Aristocats.........

HUGHES: Perish, Narla Miaro.

NARLA: Fuck you, Hughes.

STEPHANI: atthepool.png

STEPHANI: shes so fuckgin beautiful shes wearng this bikini and shes like fuckign aphrodite or sme shit

JUSTINE: END THIS

JUSTINE: prety.png

JUSTINE: LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD SHES GIGGLIN

NARLA: God, can you imagine if I had let the two of you pine any longer than you did?

ZI: this is so gay and cute

MADENA: Justine where do u find ur swimsuits and Steph u look gorgeous end me please

JUSTINE: blush.png

JUSTINE: shes blushing ths is so cute

JUSTINE: Also i just got them at waly worl

MADENA: bless ur photogenic souls for telling me

CAMILLA: U do it for he

NARLA: And you would do it, again.

CAMILLA: You do it for she and now u say

NARLA: You do it for he.

HUGHES: One day is all I ask

HUGHES: Sometimes I forget that the moment Euthymia left the house for college, she changed from a subtle gay to a vindictive gay.

MADENA: God my sister is so fucking iconic mom was like “i dont support that in my house” AS THOUGH I DONT EXIST IN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE HOME BUT ANYWAY Euthymia shruges and is like “im not in your house so lmao watch this” AND KISSES AGATHA RIGHT IN F R O N T OF HER hhfkrk

ZI: im lauhing

HUGHES: Shes not at her mom’s house rn she came to bring something to me for Mads and she’s sporting an undercut and a lot of lgbt pride pins AND a lot of really clever enamel pins too i envy her

HUGHES: She??? Also has??? A scar on her eyebrow???

HUGHES: I ASKED WHY AND SHE SAID “YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY”

MADENA: TELL HR TO STAY PUT IM C O M I N G I GOTTA SEE THIS

ZI: send a pic when u get there i wanna see

EUTHYMIA: inspiring my lgacy to be vindictive gays lmao

AGATHA: im lauhfing Zi just texted me and told me that Hughes called you a vindictive gay

EUTHYMIA: im so happy that im able to be ths way

EUTHYMIA: but i want them to wait until they’re super safe until they even think about following the near vicinity of my footsteps

AGATHA: you aren’t even super safe but i get wht ur sayin

AGATHA: I love you, Euthymia Nadine.

EUTHYMIA: I love you, too, Alaris

AGATHA: oooh my last name hot

EUTHYMIA: end it

HUGHES: That freshman is going to get in a fight this afternoon

MADENA: ?

HUGHES: sorry the thought just came to me

MADENA: Hughes,,,

HUGHES: I was right,,,,,,what the fc

ZI: oh thats like when Madena said something about ancient greec andt he teacher was like “nuh uh” but when he searched it up it was true

ZI: but Madena didnt know how they got it right it just randomyl popped up in their mind

CAMILLA: Physics can suck my asshole

HUGHES: Oh?

MADENA: *Hughes voice* oh, you haven’t heard?

CAMILLA: i die

HUGHES: I tutor in physics

MADENA: hes not gonna ask you to pay which is why u should

CAMILLA: I DONT CARE AS LONG AS I PASSED THESE FINALS WHATS YOUR FUCING PAYPAL

HUGHES: meet me in the PMs

MADENA: this is so fucking funny hey @Narla d o u need help with physics

NARLA: No.

MADENA: god i wish that were me

ZI: god i wish that were me

ZI: :0!

MADENA: O: twinsies