#ready to work with the creative side of my brain bc i am ready it

[wexhappyxfew]

had my summer dedicated to research and i am finally having a bit more of a summer vacation and so tonight i’m going to get myself working on ATTDC again and i am supremely excited :)))

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[tirednotflirting]

you're the one to help me get to sleep // maybe i fell in love when you woke me up

oh boy that title looks a lot longer on tumblr than it did on ao3. anyway.

i got stressed out yesterday and finished some fluff bc that’s what we do here at tirednotflirting. forgot to post it here yesterday though so i am doing that Now post-first cup of coffee of the day and halfway through the french toast i made. 

random side not but i’ve been listening to my time capsule playlist on spotify and i highly rec checking yours out bc this is So Fun.

here is this on ao3 if you wanna read there.

The sun is just beginning to set over LA and Alex is in love.

The day had been long but good. One of those California summer days that stretched on long enough that it made him wonder if the sun would ever start heading toward its resting place below the horizon. Warm but not hot, the slight breeze allowing them to spend the afternoon writing outside instead of stuck up in the studio. 

He’s out on the balcony now, already changed into pajama pants since they decided they would stay in for the night, and a glass of wine dangles between his fingers in between sips. The city is somehow quiet from his spot above it though he can tell it must be loud from all the activity he can see on the street. It’s nice, Alex thinks, to find peace among the blaring white noise of Los Angeles. Today had been his last full day in the city, his flight back to the farm and his furry friends sometime in the early afternoon. He has his boarding pass loaded onto his phone and could easily wander back inside to find his phone and triple check the time so he could make note of when they need to be up in the morning but he’s not quite ready to start thinking about how he has to leave again yet. 

Jack would also just immediately kick him back out to his current spot if he tried heading inside right now anyway. Over coffee that morning Jack had declared he would be making dinner for Alex’s last night (It’s romantic, Al, and I only have one more night to romance the fuck out of you). At the time Alex had assumed it was the still half-asleep side of Jack speaking but when Alex arrived back at the apartment after spending part of the afternoon writing, he’d been handed the glass of wine currently resting in his hand and ushered to the balcony door by an apron-clad Jack. 

It was rare for Alex to feel this much peace on his last day of a trip to see Jack. Usually there was some element of sadness or anxiety over the impending time apart until more band things or another trip to either coast. But as he tips back the last of his wine and stares back out toward the last bits of light in the city sky, all Alex can feel is a fullness in his chest. 

He decides he’s going to want more wine with dinner and given the time, he figures Jack must be close to finishing things up. Alex pulls himself up and pushes the sliding door open to call out toward the kitchen. 

“Jack, babe, am I allowed into the kitchen for more wine?”

Jack’s head pokes out from the kitchen with a pout on his lips. “Five more minutes, Alex. You have to give a chef space to work.”

“Bring me the bottle then, please,” Alex says in his sweetest voice, his lashes fluttering. He can see Jack’s dramatic eye roll from where he leans against the door frame before he steps back into the kitchen, emerging a few seconds later with the bottle of white he had poured for Alex earlier.

“Here you go, you lush,” Jack says while passing over the bottle once he’s close enough. Before he has a chance to step away, Alex pulls at the front of his apron to briefly press their lips together. Jack drops a hand to the bottom of Alex’s back to hold him close, his fingers pressing into his skin through his t-shirt. 

“I like the apron. It’s cute.” Alex compliments as he smoothes out the wrinkles in the fabric.

Jack’s hand runs up and down Alex’s spine as he hums. It’s an action that mimics the way Jack had been waking him up most days, and a lazy smile pulls at Alex’s lips at the memory of the fond moment. “Thank you,” Jack muses. “I only wore it because I figured you would think that, so it’s nice to know I was right.”

Alex laughs. “You wore something just because you thought I might find it cute?”

“I like being told I’m a cute boy. Sue me,” Jack says, his hand wrapping more securely around Alex’s waist. “Now go back out. I’m just putting things into bowls, I’ll be out in a second, handsome.”

Alex feels himself blush as Jack leans forward to press his lips to Alex’s temple before spinning on his heel and heading back toward the kitchen. As he steps back outside, Alex can’t help but hope that they never leave this phase of their relationship. This not quite honeymoon but not quite settled phase, where they’re so damn comfortable being with each other (in a way Alex used to spend hours awake at night worrying they would never find the path to) but compliments like the one Jack’s just thrown his way still make him blush. It’s a nice spot to be in for now, he thinks.

He pulls the cork from the wine and gives himself another generous pour before leaving the bottle in the middle of the table they’re meant to be eating at. The sky is just fading into dusk, the city draped in a blanket of purples and blues when the light above him clicks on. Alex turns from his spot to find Jack sliding the door open mostly with his foot, two bowls somewhat precariously balanced in each of his hands. Alex jumps up and ignores Jack’s whines as he takes the bowls from him and wanders back to set them on the table while Jack jogs back through the apartment to return with plates and silverware and another wine glass.

“Alright so if this sucks, we’re blaming my mom because she basically walked me through the whole thing step by step,” Jack says once they’re back at the table while he pours wine into his own glass. “Also the caprese salad was her idea since I wasn’t feeling leafy but I feel like romantic dinner date is incomplete without salad.”

“You called your mom to have her walk you through a recipe?” Alex smiles as he lets his head drop to rest in the palm of his hand while he watches Jack spoon some kind of pasta onto the two plates.

“Listen, you know I’m helpless in a kitchen,” Jack says while pushing one of the plates in Alex’s direction. “And it’s your last night here and I wanted to do something nice for you, damn it.”

“That’s very cute,” Alex replies before taking another sip from his wine glass. “You’re very cute.”

“You already told me I was cute. You gotta get more creative with your adjectives, Mr Songwriter.”

Alex shakes his head in mock protest. “I said the apron was cute before, not you.” Jack scowls at him while gently kicking his ankle. “Hush, I knew what you meant.” A smile pulls at Alex’s lips when he notices how Jack leaves their feet all tangled up together under the table after the kick. It’s silly, he knows, to get all blushy over such a simple, nonchalant action but he can’t help it.

Jack points his fork across the table at Alex after taking a bite. “Also my mom said to call her when you get back. She wants to catch up and probably bug you again about when you’re going to propose.”

Alex laughs brightly. “Well my mom was asking that I get you to Facetime her when you’ve got some free time likely for the exact same conversation.” He gestures down to his plate with a nod. “This really does not suck, by the way.”

“Our mothers really ought to be more strategic in their approach on this,” Jack says while shaking his head. “I mean it’s completely impractical that we both propose. And thank you, I try.”

“I think they figure if they double the effort they have a greater chance of success or something.”

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

The banter back and forth over their meal continues well into the night. After a while, Alex insists on clearing the table and taking things inside. He quickly cleans the dishes before grabbing another bottle of wine from the fridge and clean glasses and heading back out. Jack has moved over to the couch he keeps out there and has a blanket pulled over his bare legs, the nighttime breeze dropping the temperature enough to call it a cool night. Alex fills their glasses and leaves the bottle on the table before wandering over to where Jack has decided to lounge. 

“For you, sir,” Alex announces while handing over one of the glasses. He takes a seat next Jack, scooting closer to his side to steal some of the blanket and drops his head to rest against Jack’s chest.

Jack hums his thanks as he takes a sip and wraps an arm around Alex’s shoulders. His fingers immediately move to play with the sleeve of his t-shirt as he sighs. “Is it selfish to ask you to cancel your flight and stay longer?” 

“Not selfish but also not really a possibility, my love,” Alex says while tilting his head up to press his lips to Jack’s jaw. “I’ve got animal friends to attend to and you’ve got that trip out to see Zack to pack for.”

“Mmm, yeah you’re right,” Jack says while swirling the wine in his glass. “The goats and Zack need cuddles too, I guess.”

“Exactly.” Alex sighs as he lifts his shoulder, asking Jack a silent question that he thankfully knows the answer to. Jack drops his hand to rest in his lap and Alex reaches over for it, his fingers slipping into the spaces between Jack’s and squeezing to press their palms together. He smiles lazily at the action. It’s the little things about time with Jack that stick in his brain when they’re apart. The weight of Jack’s hand in his own, the steady sound of his heartbeat below Alex’s ear, the tapping of Jack’s foot against the ground since even in the quiet, still moments Jack has to find a way to expel the extra energy he always seems to possess. It’s all so familiar and warm. Alex isn’t sure what life would be like without the small details that make up them.

He isn’t sure how long they sit there, sipping and resting against each other while staring out at the light polluted LA night sky. Long enough that Jack eventually lets out a yawn that breaks Alex out of the daze he’d fallen into, the gentle rising and falling of Jack’s chest beneath his head acting as a lullaby of sorts.

“Bedtime?” Alex asks with a gentle laugh. He lets their hands fall apart in favor of moving to cup Jack’s jaw. His thumb runs across the top of his cheek, just below his sleepy eyes. 

“Think so, yeah,” Jack slurs his words slightly as he leans into Alex’s touch. “Don’t you need to pack? We’ll probably need to head out at like eleven since your flight is at one.”

And of course Jack remembers what time his flight is at when Alex hasn’t bothered to check all night. He’s always taking care of him in the little ways. In the ways that Alex didn’t realize he needed taking care of, really. 

Alex moves to stand and smiles at Jack’s pout when he reaches to pull him up with him. “I can pack in the morning. Right now I just want to cuddle my boy.”

Jack grins at his words and rises without any more protest. They gather the glasses and shuffle back inside. Jack steals them away from Alex once they reach the stairs and gestures for him to head upstairs while he goes in the direction of the kitchen. Alex pouts at the action and leans against the railing to wait for Jack to round the corner again. 

Jack jumps a bit when he finds Alex in the same spot he left him. “And you thought I was a sleepy boy?” Jack laughs, something warm and soft behind his gaze. Jack takes a couple steps up, his hand reaching back to loosely link with Alex’s to guide them upstairs.

They get ready for bed quickly despite the half asleep state they both drifted into and soon enough Alex is crawling beneath wrinkled sheets. He’s just barely plugged his phone into the charger when a pair of arms pull him toward the center of the bed. 

“How are you always so warm?” Jack mumbles into the back of Alex’s hair as his arms wrap more fully around Alex’s middle. He turns in his arms and Jack settles against his chest. “Not that I’m complaining since it’s freezing in here. But still.”

Alex laughs as he tries to keep his eyes open while Jack nuzzles his cool nose against his collarbone. He reaches a hand up to thread into the hair at the back of Jack’s neck. “Somebody’s got to keep you warm.”

“I’m glad it’s you,” Jack mumbles almost incoherently. Alex waits for him to say more as he continues drawing short patterns through Jack’s hair but he only softly hums and nestles further against his chest.

Alex is moments away from falling falling falling to a peaceful rest when Jack’s hand settles against the bottom of his back beneath the sweatshirt he stole from his closet, the extra layer of Jack’s familiar scent providing some additional security on his last night in this bed. Alex feels Jack’s sleep steady breath puff against his neck and in his final moments of consciousness, all he can think is Jack Jack Jack. His gentle laugh and warm gaze fills Alex’s mind as he lets his eyes finally flutter shut.

And maybe that’s what love is, falling asleep already in a dream.

*

It’s pouring down rain in Maryland and Jack is in love. 

He’s only just woken up, his mind still cloudy from sleep and his eyes still locked shut. Jack isn’t sure what time it is but given that he’s rising naturally and not from an alarm or kisses being pressed against his cheeks, he assumes it must be pretty late into the morning hours. 

It’s his first morning on this visit out to the farm. His flight the previous night had gotten in before dinner so Alex had declared it date night (Is every night we’re together not date night, Alex? Romance mode 24/7, baby.) and insisted they stop at the store for ingredients before heading back to the house. Once they were at the farm, they tended to the animals (or Alex did while Jack sat on the floor and let the goats chew on his hoodie strings) before heading back inside where Jack sat at the counter and told Alex stories about his airport adventures while watching him cook. They had tried to start a movie after food but Jack kept falling asleep every few minutes with his head in Alex’s lap so it wasn’t long before he was being pulled in the direction of the bedroom.

He sighs as the last moments of sleep drift off and he settles back into the land of the living. He’s yet to open his eyes in case the sun is peeking in anywhere in the room since he knows he’s not yet awake enough for true daylight. Two thoughts enter his mind almost immediately though: it’s cold as hell and there’s coffee brewing in the kitchen. Both of these things are a result of a third thing that Jack notices and it’s that Alex has left him alone in bed.

Jack would get whiny about the third thing but he knows that given where they are it would be pretty selfish of him. Mornings at the farm are loaded with more responsibilities than mornings in LA, and Jack knows the animal friends deserve breakfast and Alex’s bright, sleepy smile just as much as he does. Plus, his boy did make him coffee. 

Jack takes a deep breath and catches the scent of dark roast mixed in with the scent of Alex (his cologne and the same laundry detergent he’s used since his mom would pack it for him on their early tours) before finally pushing himself up from the mattress and opening his eyes. The room is thankfully still dark since Alex left the curtains closed for him but he can hear the rain beating down against the windows even through the heavy fabric. Jack pouts then, suddenly worried about Alex having to wander around out in the January rain by himself. 

He finds a hoodie and the slippers his mom gifted him for Christmas a few weeks earlier on the floor beside the bed and pulls both on before shuffling from the bedroom. Jack immediately pulls at the sleeves to cover his hands and considers going back to the bedroom to steal a shirt to throw on underneath the hoodie but the coffee hits his nose again and he continues in the direction of the kitchen.

The only light on in the room is the one over the sink and because of the rain, the kitchen remains pretty dark despite the clock on the microwave reading that it’s a little bit past ten. Jack wanders through the room to the drying rack by the sink to get his mug (the one he found in some little thrift store somewhere in Texas with the painted butterflies) before turning back to the island. He fills the mug from the mostly full French press that must have been made pretty recently, Jack thinks, as he burns his tongue a little on his first sip. Fresh coffee means that Alex has already been out to the stalls for the morning so Jack turns then, having a good feeling about where Alex may have wandered off to, and lets his hip rest against the edge of the counter.

From where he stands leaning against the kitchen island, Jack can see Alex’s head poking out from the back of the couch out on the front porch. He’s got a blue beanie pulled over his head and Jack can see his hands cupped around a mug and he can see the steam rising against Alex’s face. He pulls his phone from his pocket to check the temperature and rolls his eyes at the number shown on the screen but it doesn’t stop him from lifting his own mug to head in the direction of the front door.

Alex looks over in his direction as Jack pushes the door closed behind him to join Alex out in the cold morning air. The rain had settled mostly and a thick fog blankets over the property, the trees at the end of the road and pasture just barely visible. A soft smile pulls at Alex’s lips as he pats the cushion beside him. Jack returns the grin as he takes in the crinkles beside his boy’s tired eyes. Sometimes Jack forgets they’re getting older but then notices a gray hair when he’s looking in the mirror while brushing his teeth or notices Alex’s laughter lines deepening ever so slightly and it reminds him just how long they’ve been on these wild adventures together.

He takes the spot beside Alex and pulls the blanket he’s got covering his lap over his own before letting his head drop to rest against Alex’s shoulder. Jack turns to press his cold nose against Alex’s neck and smiles when he hears a soft whine in response to the action.

“Why are we having our coffee outside when it’s nearly freezing out?” Jack mumbles against Alex’s skin. He feels a hand reach up to card through his bed head and smiles at the feeling.

“You’ve been in California too long,” Alex teases. “We would have been calling this a warm morning back in the day.”

“Jesus, are we really old enough for things to be back in the day now?”

“We’re definitely getting there, love.” Alex laughs before pausing to take a sip from his mug. “Anyway, I finished up feeding everybody and wanted to keep listening to the rain.”

Jack figures that’s a fair enough answer (at least coming from Alex) so they sit in silence for a little while. They sip from their respective mugs and Jack cuddles impossibly closer to Alex for warmth as he searches for patterns in the sound of the rain against the roof. Jack notices the shapes Alex has been drawing through his hair change suddenly and he sits up a bit to see his face and pouts at the expression he’s met with.

“What are you thinking so hard about, huh?” Jack asks as he reaches a hand up to rub away the lines across Alex’s forehead. “Is everything okay?”

“Do you want to move in together?” Alex asks in a somewhat rushed voice while his hands pull at the ends of his sleeves. “Like here? On the farm?”

Jack’s hand falls from Alex’s forehead to cup his cheek. “What?”

“I mean, you should probably keep the place in LA since we’re over there enough for work stuff. And I’ve just been thinking that this feels like a good place to settle down and,” he pauses to take a breath and looks up to meet Jack’s gaze. “And I don’t know if I’m moving too fast but I want to settle down with you.”

“Al, I’ve known you for like, half my life. We’re not exactly operating on a normal relationship timeline here. I’d love to move in,” Jack says into the space between them and he can’t help but lean forward to brush their lips together when Alex’s eyes widen. “Though you’re going to have to teach me how to actually be helpful around this place rather than just sit and look cute while petting the goats.”

“Having someone to sit and look cute with the goats is an essential part of farm maintenance, Jack. Don’t sell yourself short,” Alex says while reaching to cover the hand Jack still has against his cheek. “But don’t worry. We’ll teach you to be a proper farm boy. Get you some boots and everything.”

“I want a cowboy hat, too. But sounds perfect.” Jack says before leaning in to press their lips together again. Alex pulls him closer and Jack feels himself smile into the kiss. Alex’s warmth almost makes him forget about the cold winter air surrounding them and his mind is flooded with the thought of a future where everyday is spent with the eternal summer’s day that is Alex Gaskarth.

Alex pulls away first and a giggle leaves his lips as Jack whines at him. “Guess we should go ahead and actually get the day started then?”

“Has to happen eventually, I suppose.” Jack sighs as he sinks further into the couch. 

Alex laughs as he stands up, his hand reaching down to link their hands together. “Come on. We’ve got brunch with the mothers in an hour and now we’ve got good news to share with them. Moms love good news.”

Jack allows himself to be pulled up from the couch and in the direction of the front door. He leans against the wood once they’re back inside and pulls Alex into his hold while his arms move to hang over his shoulders. “We smell like farm and wet dog. And since we’re going to be sharing a home now, I think it only makes sense that we try to conserve resources. What do you think?”

Alex rolls his eyes and slides his hands up to rest against Jack’s chest. “Thank you for the invitation but I figured I would make up another pot of coffee for us while you go get ready?”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“I keep asking myself the same thing.”

With a final press of his lips to Jack’s cheek, Alex heads off to make the promised coffee. Jack watches him head into the kitchen from where he stands in the front hall. He sees Alex leave the mugs on the island in favor of pulling his phone out to connect to the speaker next to the sink and a second later a song starts playing that immediately has him bouncing on his toes as he fills the kettle from the sink. Jack smiles as he leans against the frame into the dining room while he watches Alex dance around and softly sing while scooping new coffee grounds. He turns then and Jack is caught as Alex smiles and winks in his direction, a mouthed Go while pointing in the direction of the bedroom being his parting gift. 

Jack blows a kiss and starts making his way down the front hall to the stairs. He pauses for a moment at the table where Alex had left a mess of different holiday cards he’d received throughout the season. Bright colors and happy smiles meet Jack’s eyes as he spots friends and their families and pets. He sighs and continues down the hall after a moment, wondering if maybe they could get the goats to sit still long enough for a holiday card sometime next fall. It’s a swirling, dreamy thought, but he spends the rest of the morning stuck on the idea of seeing their smiling faces and well wishes mixed into their loved ones’ piles of cards.

And maybe that’s what love is, waking up to the beginning of another dream.

*

[perksofbeingaharrie]

PICTURE THIS - part:1

FRIENDS TO LOVERS FIC 

Hello everyone!

Heeeere is the new fic as requested by:

So this was requested really really long back and I had promised @wonderland-ish that I would start writing it as soon as I was ready. So here we are, I hope you stuck around love!

Enjoy my first ever fic. It’ll be a 5 part one - fluff and angst (ig you can now tell its my favourite genre) and a little seeexx bc we love mmhmm.

Keep safe my dear people and enjoy the fics at home, in your safe haven with some tea and biscuits. Keep warm too!

Like/rebolg and write to me as to how you liked my work! I’ll be posting part 2 tomorrow so look out for it! Lesss gooooo

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

PICTURE THIS - part:1

©️perksofbeingaharrie

——

Life has been surreal since what she can remember. It began with how her father agreed to send to study photography which for years he had thrashed her about as being just a mere hobby. 3 years in college and now here at the O2 and shooting for the worldwide sensation – Harry Styles. Was she even allowed to feel this content with life ever? What was to go wrong?

She often hitched her breath thinking of such questions. But here she was, previewing her pictures on slide show mode to Helene, who sat beside her on the couch at the corner of the backstage room.

She blinks twice, thrice looking at Helene going through her pictures so concentratedly. It was all here before her in the present, truly.

“I think we can select a few from here.” Helene pops her bubble of thought that very instance. “I like this one a lot. Harry could use this for his Instagram.”

“His Instagram?” She gulps, pulling her laptop to her lap.

Helene looks up at her and smiles, matching eyes who know the feeling. “Yes. You are very good, darling. I am glad to have you on the team.”

Shuffling to pack her stuff and head home, she gets up from the couch and pulls her bag to her.

“You should come to this party Harry’s having for us.” Helene says as she gets up to her feet.

Still trying to put away her things quickly and leaving to be in the warmth of her home, Y/N looks up absolutely unprepared for such a proposal.

“Yeah, you should.” Helene insists.

“Uh, but, I don’t have an invite or anything-“

“Oh, no. Harry’s actually been wanting to meet the new photographer anyway. And it’s a small gathering, you’ll get to network well.”

Her chest swells up on hearing Helene’s words. She thinks she has some time to contemplate and then answer but Helene’s already putting away her stuff in haste and has grabbed her wrist, dragging her out of the room.

--

And it was indeed a small gathering. In fact, it was something more better termed as an ‘intimate gathering’.  The terrace top of the most expensive hotels spanning the skyline of the city hosted tonight just for the 10-15 people of the close-knit Harry Styles’s team. She definitely felt out of place a little.

Conversations died down a few drinks later and presently everybody had found each other hip to hip, swaying to the light music in the background. There were laughs and giggle around, but none of them were sincere and all in lieu of the alcohol coursing through the air.

She smiled about a little here and there, and finally with a little resolute, found her place by the bar on one of the stools, watching everyone from a distance. The one drink in her hand stayed whirling in the glass itself only. At one point she felt that the alcohol in it must have evaporated into air because she just could not feel its effect. She just could not feel its effect enough to want to let loose and join them.

She is happy anyway, watching and indulging for a while tonight amongst people she doesn’t think she’ll meet any before a year from now. She is content with the fact that after tonight she’ll be back to her daily routine, from going back and forth to her daily tid bit photography to editing and blogging and everything that she has been doing for what seems like forever.

Her mind is distant in thoughts of her home and known and she never notices when he – he, Harry Styles – comes up to stand beside her at the bar.

His deep voice drops the loudest rung in her ear as he orders his drink, and she looks up, flushed, half from the alcohol and half from an unknown embarrassment.

“You are the new photographer, aren’t you?” He says, at the same time accepting his drink from the bartender with his signature smile.

She nods, unsure of what else she could reply with so somehow they get to conversing more.

“Well, you’ve done a really good work. I liked the pictures from your camera.”

She gives a genuine smile for his genuine compliment. “Thank you. These two days have been really really wonderful for me too. I am glad I could do my work nicely.”

They silently enjoy their drinks for a while, looking across them at the night and nobody intends to break the silence. It’s awkward, but somehow, nobody says a word. She gulps the last sip of her drink not a moment later and feels the need to break away from the proximity they both stand at.

As she slides out of her seat and stands to her feet, he turns to her abruptly and gulps away the reminder of his own drink harshly.

“Do you feel like getting away from here?” He says, looking at her. “Because I really need to.”

She parts her mouth, breathing out in astonishment. “Uhm, but, this is your party? How can you leave like that?”

He points his finger towards his group at a distance. “It clearly is not the party for me. I just needed something to fill up the loneliness I feel after every concert.”

She dares to make an eye contact with him; and his green eyes look the prettiest when honest.

He leans in closer and completes his line against her ear. “And honestly, this scene just does not do.”

He begins walking backward towards the exit, his eyebrows shooting up at her as if challenging her to give in. She feels this exhilarating rush at his nab. Looking around, she does not have time to think twice or thrice and she eventually does give in.

She jogs down the stairs in a child-like haste, a sudden fear erupting in her heart that she has missed him. But as she reaches the end of the staircase, she finds him putting on a grey beanie over his lousy hair and a coat that almost covers up his chin.

“Can’t let nobody know I’m wilding out tonight.” He chuckles at his own words. She smiles, pleased, grabbing her coat from the hanger as well.

He is trudging away even before she has tied the coat around her waist and she is on the run after him.

“What are we even doing by the way?” She asks over his shoulder.

“I was thinking of some ice-cream? Let’s start from there.”

She nods earnestly, following his lead. Her clock tells her that it is almost 12 and so she doubts if there would be any ice-cream outlets open nearby. But the way his broad shoulders and long legs take on the road so knowingly, she cannot think about hesitating now.

They arrive at a cross section and wait for the signals to turn red so they can walk over to the other side. In a blink, the lights do change and she jumps forward to cross the road. A hand comes clasping around her wrist and pulls her back.

“Careful.” He says, entwining their fingers together. “Just so we are safer.”

The giddy smiles they share lightens up the night like no other.

They are walking for a long time, careful of the crowd, traffic and recognizable faces. Harry walks majority of the while with his head ducked low. He keeps a tight grip around her fingers nevertheless, tugging at places where he wants her to walk fast and constantly squeezing it too to remind her of their interlocked hands. It’s good it has happened to be winter in London or she would have sweaty palms by now and that would have been embarrassing.

They finally stop by a little tucked in shop by the roadside, and they have walked quite some distance now. She hardly looks around to be able to recognize the place before he pulls her into the shop. The little wooden doors are shut and they enter a warm, little cafeteria scarcely littered with tables and small chairs.

“I’ll take my usual, please.” His voice comes distinct in the peaceful room that she is still scanning around. “And, she would like to select.”

She looks up at him and then at the man behind the ice-cream counter. “And what is the usual?”

“Mint and chocolate.” Harry tells her, leaning his body against the cold screen.

“I think I’d like that too.”

“Right away.” The ice-cream man smiles. “Waffle cone or a cup?”

“Cone.” They say in unison.

--

“So, why photography?”

They are sitting on cold railings by a quiet parking lot, hardly any cars seen nearby. She feels like the reckless teenager again with him, running about in the city at midnight, eating ice cream when it is about to snow and hanging out in parking lots. She feels younger and much calmer than she ever would have.

She chuckles lowly, looking at her feet. “I think my answer would be the same to yours if I asked you – ‘why music?’”

He looks at her longingly for a moment, then nods and chuckles like her before. “Right.” He finishes the last of his cone and brushes his hands against his pants. “You do not enjoy talking as much, I see.”

She shakes her head, finishing her bite as well. “Not really. I just do not like making small talk. That’s the lousiest concept ever. It even more awkward than just staying quiet.”

He nods again, agreeing. “Right. I feel the same way too.”

They breathe deeply the cold air in through their nostrils.

“It kind of gets too loud sometimes where I am, you know? Even I like some silence sometimes.”

She nods, smiling. “You mean, your friends?”

He makes a face as if taking some time to think before answer. Only at the end, he chuckles and shakes his head. “Everything actually. Even the music I make.”

“I understand. Even my eyes hurt sometimes from looking at the same thing, trying to find inspiration.  I think it’s common for the creative brains.”

“True.” He nods. “But I don’t think you’ll disagree with me when I say that my friends and team are pretty loud. I mean, you didn’t look pretty interested in knowing them either. I needed a little break from that too.”

She hides her mouth as she gives a suppressed chuckle. “I am sure your friends aren’t that bad. In fact, they are really nice – they let me into the group even for a while. I just thought it might be useless to try to fit in if I am only going to be seeing them the last time tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” He sighs. “But what if you were to see them more often?”

“Then, I might take some time but I’ll blend in too I guess.”

They look at one another and smile with their eyes.

“And what about the loneliness you talked about earlier? Why is that?”

He bites his lower lip, looking away in a distance. “I feel the fullest and at my best on stage. I am so energetic, so careless, so carefree performing. There’s people just loving how I am, accepting me as I am and just letting me be. When it’s all over, I am back with people who will tell me what I did, how I performed; they’ll tell me if I was good, if I was bad. I just miss being that free in real life too, y’know. I miss that feeling with all the people around. I feel-“

“-lonely in a room full of people.” She completes for him.

They share knowing smiles. His heart feels full looking over at her lips curve up. She feels the familiar warmth spread inside her.

“How about some nice hot-pot dinner to end the night?” He gets up to his full height.

She nods.

“And I think we can talk some more too.”

“Definitely.”

--

She is called in for work early the next morning. Still gorgy with sleeping only after 3 last night, she could not bother to go through the trouble to making breakfast and only grabs a bagel from the cafeteria downstairs.

She walks into the studio she was called in for, and is greeted with Helene standing at one corner setting up her camera on the pod.

“Oh, hey. Come on in.” She smiles, pulling out a folder from the corner desk and walks over to her.

“Hi, yeah, you called in so suddenly?”

“So, uhm,” She opens the folder and flips through a few pages. “We were hoping if you would like to join us for the tour?”

“Wha-“ She feels the folder on her palms. It is a contract that would sign in her in as Harry’s team for the entirety of the year round tour. She looks up from the contract at Helene and then back at the contract.

The door behind her chimes again and enters Harry, rubbing his palms together for warmth.

“So,” he says. “Is she joining us for the tour or not?”

Her eyes widen. He grins at her reaction, raising his eyebrows at her in the challenging stance he would do. She bites her lower lip and suppresses a grin but it is hard when she feels her heart could burst at the very moment.

---------

PART 2   o    MASTERLIST   o  PART 3  o  PART 4

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

[sometimesrosy]

Rosy, how on earth do you develop positive/strong self-esteem? I have no idea how. I'm constantly envious of girls who are more successful, more talented, and prettier and wish I had what they have. I feel so inadequate, like I have nothing going for me, like I'm uninteresting, untalented, and not pretty enough. It affects so much of my life, especially the decisions I make. I've started therapy but my therapist just preaches about acceptance and I'm doubtful I'm going to change bc of her.

It is a LONG. SLOW. LIFE TIME. PROCESS OF LEARNING TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF.

I have been doing it for the last 30-35 years of my life and I STILL find pockets of myself where my self worth is low. And yet, I have learned to have good self esteem. This is a hard question because it is a process, but I’m going to try and break it down into essentials BRIEFLY. Because I don’t have the focus to make it a long post and because I could go on forever.

Realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not inferior. You are human and flawed and even if you have struggles those are just lessons to learn and parts of yourself to understand, not things to be ashamed of. You are good. You are good enough.

Start looking for the good in other people. If you see how MANY different ways there are to be good and lovely and clever and talented and wonderful, you will realize that there’s not just ONE way to be, ALL ways to be are beautiful. You might also realize that all those people you’re looking at as wonderful are looking at you as wonderful too. Beauty and goodness is not a limited quantity so that only so many people can have it. It’s limitless. You have it too.

Stop running away from the things about yourself that scare you. Admit that this is a problem. Or that is keeping you from succeeding. Face it. The only way to conquer your flaws is to face them. The only way to get out of the darkness is to head into it and understand it so you can get out again. That means: therapy, facing your fears, setting boundaries, going for your goals, being honest, not running away, creating art, speaking up... whatever.

Follow your bliss. If you love something and it makes you feel good about yourself. Do it. Often it takes a lot of work to become proficient at things, so put in the effort to learn how to do the things you love. Commit to the things that make you happy. 

Find a new way to define yourself. This is marketing. Right now, you’re calling yourself names. One person’s “uninteresting” is another person’s “calm, comforting, serene, peaceful.” Or whatever you are. I used to say I was boring and uninteresting, because listen, I don’t go out, I dont’ take risks, I’m not “fun,” or so I thought, and I said it to one person and they snickered. Because I apparently am interesting to them. My brain is interesting, i’m creative and unique and mysterious even. I still consider myself boring... but that’s because I’m looking at other people and comparing my journey to theirs. I know people who compete in races and travel the world, and that is WONDERFUL, but so is living in the country being a bohemian and writing novels. Look at who you are for the inherent qualities of who you are and DON”T compare yourself to others. This goes back to seeing the beauty in other people. It’s learning to see your own beauty. 

PRACTICE changing your mindset to a more positive one. Keep a journal and write three things you are grateful for every day. Or for you, maybe three things you like about yourself or succeeded at or things you love. The more you practice looking at the bright side of life the more you’ll be able to see the good in yourself.

Realize that not everybody out there is good. There are a lot of toxic people. You have to stop listening to them. They say only one type of person is beautiful. Or pick on your flaws. TELL THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES. If you can’t do it in person, then learn how to set boundaries and get ready for those people to push back. Because people who want to eat you up don’t like it when you take away their snack. Start believing that you are DESERVING of respect and the ability to say no and friends who support you rather than drain you. Real life friends, on line friends, family. It can be hard to set boundaries, but find a way. 

I’m going to stop here, because I could keep going, but that would also make it too overwhelming. And I don’t have any specific exercises except for that three things you’re grateful for. 

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[calliefm]

( sydney sweeney, cisfemale ) hey ! have you seen CALLIOPE ‘ CALLIE ’ MACDERMOT around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for ONE YEAR. they tend to be +CREATIVE & +SELFESS, but can also be -LAZY & -IRRESPONSIBLE. the other employees have labeled them THE MALINGERER. thanks a lot ! ( oversize hoodies, first sip of coffee , cold side of the pillow , high ponytail , winterfresh gum, & smell of paint )

hey folks ! i’m very excited to get this group going, i’m a big sucker for simple plots and it’s my favorite season ! i apologize in advance for callie though ! i’m 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑟𝑎𝑛 by the way ! i’m 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 years old and i go by the 𝑠ℎ𝑒/ℎ𝑒𝑟 pronouns ! i can’t wait to meet everyone and get this lil group going !

i formally introduce to you — 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘵, big bear’s 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚝 !

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝘽 𝘼 𝘾 𝙆 𝙂 𝙍 𝙊 𝙐 𝙉 𝘿

callie macdermot was born in boulder, co to jennifer baker and james o’connell. here’s the catch... jennifer was a freshmen in university when she became pregnant with callie. jennifer took the year off when she found out, not telling her mother and working many side jobs to keep her small flat with her boyfriend ( james ). they thought they were going to keep the baby and live this happy life, but jennifer began to wonder if they were able to even take care of the child. this was what caused problems in their relationship and it honestly became pretty toxic. by her third trimester, jennifer and james were on and off a lot. it was off when callie was born. by that time, james wasn’t there to convince jennifer to keep the child so the papers were signed and callie was put up for adoption !

it was only a month until callie was adopted by a loving family in big bear. her parents were officially emma and benjamin macdermot. emma and benjamin had been struggling to conceive, and officially made the decision to adopt a baby around the time callie was born ( kinda perfect right ? ). her parents were pretty well known around town. they were also high school sweethearts, went to college together, and graduated together. her mother works as a primary teacher and her dad is a head chef at a restaurant on the outskirts of town.

it was a pretty picture perfect life for callie. she loved her parents and they loved her, even through her being a complete terror growing up. callie was a ball of energy when she was young. she was constantly bouncing off the walls, asking questions, getting into slight trouble, and all that ! as annoying as she got... she was adorable and she had an ebullient smile that was irresistible.  

she wasn’t used to change. everyone was always just there for her. she lived in the same house her whole life. she walked the same streets everyday. she saw the same faces on the street. she hung out with the same group of friends since kindergarten. but stuff started to change when the beginning of year 9 when her friend sat her down and decided to let her know that they don’t want to hang out with callie anymore. there was no explanation for it, it was just petty teenage drama, but it oddly broke callie for the time being.

her friend group had been with her for such a long time, it sort of shaped her personality. but, by the end of year 9, she realized who she was with them wasn’t her. she didn’t want to wear skirts to school, she didn’t like to gossip or constantly talk about boys, she didn’t want to wear an insane amount of bronzer on her face. so ! after the break, callie 2.0 made her very first appearance — with a big sweater, comfortable jeans, glasses snugged on her nose, and a bright face ready to just do her.

with her new persona, you’ll easily learn she’s pretty lazy. she will fall asleep on the stairs if she’s too tired to climb up the stairs to go to bed. she’s fallen asleep on the easel while she began to take up a new hobby ( art ! ) but callie is also insanely bright ! she has pulled straight a’s throughout high school career and had taken an interest in the brain. she’s literally taken all the brain cells yall... blame callie

when it came to choosing an university, she knew she didn’t want to go too far from big bear because she definitely would have separation anxiety from her parents. the decision came down to picking the best financial route and big bear community college was it ! she decided to go with a biology major her first year, but after taking a psychology course, she quickly switched over to a psychology major after her first year.

𝙍 𝙄 𝙂 𝙃 𝙏   𝙉 𝙊 𝙒

she’s currently a junior and still a psych major ! she lives in an apartment near the resort and also the community college ! her parents don’t live too far, and since she adores them you know she’ll be making constant visits ! she definitely cooks for every hang out because she picked up a few things from papa chef ! and atm she’s thinking about picking up an art major since she’s been really into it lately !

she works at the hot cocoa stand in the snow bowl ! she’s constantly making new flavors and such so feel free to stop by the stand to try her concoction !

𝙋 𝙀 𝙍 𝙎 𝙊 𝙉 𝘼 𝙇 𝙄 𝙏 𝙔

let me start off by saying that she’s probably the sleepiest person you’ll ever meet ! if you don’t know where she is, you’ll figure that she’s in her room catching some zs. callie is also very lazy and will ask you to give her the remote even though it’s two feet away. when she’s down for it, callie definitely knows how to have a good time, you just gotta drag her out of her room to get that slakfjds

and even though she’s insanely book smart, i can assure you she’s one of the biggest idiots you’ll ever meet. she’s do the dumbest shit like almost burn down the kitchen bc she forgot to put water in her mac n cheese n left the stove on

is weed allowed to be a personality trait too ? because that’s a thing with callie ! she is almost constantly high it’s kinda bad, but she’s not annoying about it ! some people probably doesn’t even know she smokes weed because even without it she’s just ... like that

𝙍 𝘼 𝙉 𝘿 𝙊 𝙈   𝙁 𝘼 𝘾 𝙏 𝙎

callie works at the big bear resort at the hot cocoa stand ! she does a lot of dumb shit there so enjoy her stories and often leaves the stand unattended when it’s not too busy ! if your chara works on the slopes, i can assure you she’ll throw at least one snowball at them a day

she tends to make those really tiny paintings and gives them to her friends and random people on the street

someone tell her to buy a new pair of converse because she’s had the same pair since year 10

she’s addicted to getting small pointless, but cute tattoos

she has never opened a wine bottle normally. she has a little game with herself where each time she opens a bottle, she has to try opening it with a new object ( a key, knife, spoon, lighter, shoe, etc )

she’s REALLY good at procrastinating. her best works comes out with 5 cups of coffee and at 5 am the morning it’s due

callie has never lost a game of rock paper scissors and she literally bought herself a trophy for it

she makes an insanely good alcoholic hot chocolate and will only make it for someone if it’s their birthday or they practically beg her

she had no idea how to put on makeup, she always has a friend do it for her when they’re going out oR she’ll have a ugly eyeliner and unblended foundation

stays up allllll night listening to true crime podcasts or watching paranormal youtube videos! and she really believes in aliens

she’s broken her glasses at least 5 times in the past year but she doesnt like contacts because she’s too scared to try to touch her eye, so when u see her without her glasses you’ll know she definitely cant see

she visits her parents every other week or so because (1) she misses them and (2) she needs to do laundry and her mom or dad will 10/10 do it for her because she’s baby ! but she really does miss them often and will randomly go to her home to just sit with them

i think that’s all i can say for now folks ! if you made it to the end, i love you so much ! here’s coupons for michael’s craft store in return !

[takemealivelh]

If requests are still open, can you do a Luke Hemmings x reader where it’s that cocktail chats, and the reader is the one directing & filming bc she’s known for being good at both so they get her down to do it. Luke has a massive crush on her, either before she shows up or when she does show up and he’s thinking “shit” lmao. So when they get really shitfaced, he says something on camera about her & gradually starts hitting on her until he asks her out lol

ALRIGHT! This took me forever but I DID IT! Proud of this one (I think)

This one’s for ya!

(Luke’s POV)

One of our strong points as a band, besides creating and performing music we believe in, is how we interact with our fans. They know us, they know we're up for a good time and we don't shy away from making fools out of ourselves. The Cocktail Chats seemed like a good idea to get it all together in one project. That was until I found out who was directing and filming.

"She should be here any second" Ashton scrolled through his phone. We were waiting for the crew to set up the cameras, lighting and audio at his kitchen, and we'd gotten there a few hours before just to help him clean up. 

"Who?" I made the dumb mistake of asking. Michael, Calum and Ashton looked at me wide-eyed with the biggest looking frown on their faces. "What?"

"Are you fucking serious? We discussed this weeks ago, mate" Michael shook his head. He immediately started laughing when I didn't reply, "okay, maybe your brain has been pushing it to the back so you didn't shit your pants every day we got closer to filming." Ashton laughed along and high-fived our guitarist. None of them answered my question, though.

I looked for Calum's face, but he didn't help me out either. 

The doorbell rang, "she's here!" Ashton smiled and got up from his spot on the kitchen table. 

"This is going to be good" Michael laughed under his breath before pushing himself off the countertop and walking towards the front door behind Ash. "Hey!" I heard him yell in excitement and a few other voices greeting them. "Hey man, you drove everyone here?"

"Yeah, yeah, I did. I wasn't going to miss this, you four getting drunk and discussing music?" Alex's voice was unmistakable, and I was glad he'd come around, "wouldn't fucking miss it, also I wanted to help. Where are the other two? We need to set all this equipment."

"Cal! Luke! Don't be dicks and come help out"

When I got to the front door and saw Ashton's arm around her shoulders, her hands holding a camera tripod, I felt the colour fade from my face. 

Maybe Mike was right.

-

"Can you move a little bit closer to the mic, Cal? Please?"

I saw her giving directions, saw her being her charming professional self. Carrie seemed to have everything under control but never stopped being the lovely person she is. When Ashton stood next to her, asking her about how they'd bring the concept to life, she explained her vision with such eloquence that I decided I could listen to her talk about her work for hours. She was a smart, creative, kind person. I was crushing so hard on her.

"Keep the drool to a minimum," I felt someone nudge my shoulder and saw Alex with a smug smirk behind me, getting ready the shots and cocktails we were about to drink. "You're not subtle, Luke. And I worry about how you'll act when you've got some drinks in you."

I rolled my eyes, "I can be professional, mate. Thanks for the confidence boost, though."

"I'm just saying," he laughed.

-

"Everyone does a shot and then we start with introductions, sounds good?" Carrie smiled from behind the camera. "Ashton, you go first. And... we're rolling."

The red light lit up and I felt my hands starting to sweat. I only needed to play it cool, just for a couple of hours. I'd been drunk before, and I'd been drunk before around her as well. It never went bad, but maybe because Cal had to drag me out of the party before I embarrassed myself. 

"Let it begin..."Ashton did a shot and the rest of us followed suit. I tried to be cool and impress her by being expressionless as the burning alcohol went down my throat. 

It didn't work.

"Hello, I'm Ashton, I'm the drummer in the band..."

"Hello, for everyone out there who doesn't know who I am, I'm Calum Hood..."

"I'm Michael, I play guitar in 5 seconds of summer..."

"I'm Luke..." my brain completely betrayed me when I saw her smile from the other side of the camera, "I'm NOT 6'4, I'm 6'2 at best..."

The more drinks I got in me, the sloppier I got, the stupider I got, the more I embarrassed myself. 

Oh god, she was so pretty when she laughed at my dumb jokes. 

"Can you tell him to say it without the word genius?" I heard her faintly over the loud mess we had going on. Ashton repeated the question I swear I saw a smirk on her face.

Of course, I messed up, again. 

-

"I think we need a break" 

"I think we need like 3 breaks," Mike was slouched on the floor next to the camera, "I can't concentrate for shit. Hey, man! When did you get here?"

The kitchen was quickly getting more crowded. When Ashton said that he started a party because he got drunk, he wasn't joking. From 8 people, we were now at 25. My words were starting to spill out of my mouth without any filter and I was partly worried that I would profess my undying love for her in front of everyone. But I was also feeling a bit confident, every time I made her laugh or blush -even faintly- I felt good. Maybe she liked me as well.

"You want a drink?" I offered her a glass of some cocktail we were drinking. Carrie smiled at me and showed me the half-empty glass in her hand. "Oh, you already have one. You want another one after that?"

"Luke! Stop giving her drinks, mate! You're so unprofessional"

Ashton laughed from the other side of the kitchen, slurping the rest of his cocktail, "we're discussing music while we're getting drunk, Cal. I think professional flew out the window a few hours ago"

She smiled at me and sipped the rest of her drink. Was I imagining things or was she maintaining a playful eye contact with me? Was it my vivid desires playing tricks to my drunken mind or was she running her hand up and down my arm? "I like you in this shirt, it suits you" she whispered.

I think my heart almost stopped beating.

- 

"Guys, you can do it. Only two more songs, alright?"

Michael and Cal made their way around the kitchen, trying to get everyone either to stay quiet or to go party on the backyard. Ashton was bopping his head to the beat of Empty Wallets.

The first piano part has always reminded me of N'Sync's Bye Bye Bye, and since we were all pretty shitfaced by now, decency had left the room a while ago. 

"I'm not gonna play anymore because that is fire"

"Wow"

"Pure Fuego"

"You're gonna burn down your house, Ash"

I could see Carrie trying to contain the laughter as we all teased Ashton.

"Thank you, audience participants. That was very supportive."

I sat next to her as the rest of the band did their part of the video. I saw Alex's cheeky grin at me, and Mike's eyebrows wiggle at me when Carried shifted in the stool and subtly brushed her body against mine. I thought my body wouldn't be able to take that much heat.

-

We had finished talking about Ghost Of You and now we were doing the Deluxe tracks of the album. But it was likely that none of that footage was going to end up in the actual videos. We were absolutely smashed. Michael had to go out to take some air, Cal went out for a smoke and Alex and Ash followed to spend some time with all the people they had invited over.

It was just me and Carrie.

"Alright, Luke. Monsters Among Men. What's it mean?"

"Er..." my mind was racing five hundred thoughts at the speed of light. Her hair had been put up in a ponytail because the temperature in the room had gone up quickly in the past 20 minutes. She had a few strands of hair stuck with sweat to her skin and the cleavage exposed by her v-neck shirt was glistening. I couldn't focus. 

She gave me a sly smile, "are you gonna talk, or?"

"You're cute" I blurted out.

"You're drunk"

The way her nose crinkled when she teased me, the way the lighting hit the side of her face, the way she wiped the sweat off her forehead with two fingers... I needed to ask her out. "You're still cute when I'm sober, though"

"Wow, real smooth, Hemmings"

"I try"

Her laugh was enough to give me the last boost of confidence.

"You wanna go out with me? Not tonight, I won't be good company if I'm about to throw up all the time"

Carrie laughed and turned the camera off. "Alright, no deluxe," she said under her breath, shaking her head. I could feel my throat starting to close, she was breathtaking and I had asked her out and she wasn't replying and oh my god did I make a dick move?

"I'm free next week," she smiled.

Thank fucking god, "it's a date then."

TAG LIST:

@brown-eyedshell @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @myloverboyash @hopeless-renassianceluke @dukesnumber1 @rip-lukes-balsamic @letsfuckndance @cal-pal-cuddles @ashtons-favorite @1dthewantedlove@problematicprincessa@heartbreak-5sos @baby-loba

let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list!

[bakugou-tm]

HELLO IMYSM i hope youre having a relaxing christnas break bc u deserve to rest!!!! anyways may i request a scenario where katsuki's s/o is in college then with all the due dates and requirements she can't visit him or smth? then suddenly he just appears in her campus and everyone's swooning over him like that, she feels so happy bc she misses him and all,,,,, thank you so much!! have a great day 💜

Awh this one is sweet of course I shall

“What do you mean you can’t come this weekend?!”

Wincing a bit at the loud voice on the other side of the phone you let out a sigh, guilt coursing through your body. You weren’t wincing because of your boyfriend’s aggressive manor, you were used to that. You were wincing because of the slight pain you heard in his voice, though you would never admit.

Every month or so you and your boyfriend would meet up for a weekend due to the long distance relationship you had been put in. While he was off working trying to build his brand as a hero, you had left for your dream school that happened to be two hours away.

Of course he would never step in the way of following your dream, he also refused to cut the relationship off for that matter. It had been decided you would both visit every month until you could graduate and move back with him.

The only problem was, these past couple of months you kept having to call off your meetings due to harsh due dates since you were nearing the end of the semester.

This was the fourth time you had to call your boyfriend and give the dreaded news that you couldn’t come, and it only kept getting harder and harder.

“I..I’m sorry Suki, I wish there was another way…” You said sadly through the phone, “I tried to convince my professor to move back the due date but with exams in less than four weeks, there was no way for him to push it back.”

Biting your lip you closed your eyes painfully as you only heard your boyfriend sigh in response, the sound itself holding every bit of pain he felt.

“I really am sorry Katsuki, I..I miss you so much…” You breathed out, a slight hiccup in your voice as you felt warm tears come to your eyes, “I would do just about anything to see you again.”

Hearing the hints of saddness in your tone Bakugou was quick to speak up, “Don’t think to hard about it shitty girl I understand, as long as you come over here after your exams.”

Perking your head up a bit you smiled, remembering you would be able to graduate just after exams, “Yes yes I will, I promise! I’ll spend everyday with you baby I promise!”

“Damn straight you will..” Bakugou replied, a soft smile on his face as he looked out the window of his suite, “Good luck with your exams babe.”

Smiling giddily at the change of moods you let yourself dance around your room before leaning against the wooden door to your dorm, “Thanks Suki, hey… I love you by the way!”

Blinking for a moment the ash blond remained silent, the last time he heard those words was the day you left for college just four years ago, every time those three golden words came from your lips it took his breath away.

“I love you too (S/o).” Bakugou said softly in the tone causing a surge of warmth to flow through your body before you hung up.

You couldn’t wait to see your Bakugou Katsuki soon.

—

Just a two weeks later you found yourself even more swamped with work. Don’t get it wrong, as much as you loved what you were doing, the study of design interesting you greatly, with so many due dates and assignments it was slowly making you envy the subject.

You tried your best to remind yourself it would be worth it in the end, but with the heavy work load it was growing harder and harder to stay focused.

Throwing on a pair of leggings and a random hoodie out of your closet you walked towards the mirror so you could do your hair.

Snatching your brush from the vanity you began to brush out your (h/c) locks before you slowly stopped, recognizing the orange and black hoodie to be your boyfriend’s hero merch.

Ever since he started his own brand for himself, his marketing team decided to get him all new merch inspired by his hero name, Ground Zero.

It was incredibly smart, the cups, shirts, hoodies, backpacks, anything you could think of were soon to be sold out for the season.

Luckily your boyfriend had sent you a ‘limited edition’ hoodie signed by Ground Zero himself which he made sure to cockily brag about until you threatened to sell it for big bucks.

Giggling to yourself when you remembered those warm moments you shared you let out a sigh, shoving your hair up into a messy bun before you looked at the trademark Ground Zero logo with a determined expression.

“I’m gonna see you soon Katsuki, hang in there..”

–

Bakugou already hated this place, and he had only taken roughly ten steps on the campus.

Everything about this university screamed you, the beautifully creative structure, the hundreds of students zooming around; not without offering a greeting or smile of course. Everyone here was so cheerful even though the aura of the school was clearly tense and stressed.

Shuffling his boots down the cobblestone path to look for any sort of directory, his body froze when he heard an all to familiar cry with those dreaded words he was doomed to hear everywhere he went.

“Is that Ground Zero?!”

Dread flowed through Bakugou’s body as the sound of footsteps scampering over to him came near, sounding like a stampede of animals in a zoo during lunch time.

“It’ll be worth it for (S/o)..” Bakugou grumbled under his breath, his sharp crimson eyes glaring up to the herd of students that surrounded him, cameras already out and ready to fire.

The ash blond should’ve known better than to come to the your campus without a disguise, the fact that he was wearing his hero uniform boots not helping the case either.

Bakugou had just been so excited to get here. After getting off the phone with you and remembering the pained tone of your voice, he couldn’t not come over here. You had one last week at this hell hole, and Bakugou would be damned if you ruined it over the massive stress you were carrying.

The young hero’s agency was far from pleased when they heard he would be under the radar for a full week, but they weren’t in any position to tell him no. At this point Bakugou ran that agency, they depended on him more than he did ever since his popularity boomed.

In less than a year he had been the first teenager to ever be in the top ten, proving to be the youngest successful pro hero in history.

Did this inflate his ego? Yes, yes it did. Did he care? Not a chance. And luckily he knew a certain (h/c) that loved his massively large ego.

The feeling of people grabbing his arms is what snapped him back to reality, his head whipping down to see multiple people shouting twenty different things at once.

“Can you sign this shirt for me?”

“Get a selfie with me Ground Zero!”

“Are you coming to this college permanently?”

“I don’t have a pen, can you just set a mini explosion off on my arm?”

Bakugou let out a growl of annoyance and a bit of disturbance at the strange demands he was receiving, didn’t these students have work to do or something?

Flicking his eyes up in hopes of seeing any sort of directory anywhere, he let out an annoyed sigh when there wasn’t anything in sight. Maybe these kids could be useful for something.

“I’ll sign all your shit later but I have a mission first,” Bakugou barked, effectively silencing the entire group as they awaited his word, “Any of you know where the hell the design wing is?”

Bakugou regretted his idea when an uproar of students began shouting out different answers, rubbing his head he let out another loud yell to silence them.

“Grape hair only, where is it.”

The tall boy in the front blinked for a moment when the pro hero pointed to him before quickly pointing over to the second building in the middle.

“Are you looking for someone?” A girl questioned from the back, causing Bakugou to look over to her direction.

“(L/n) (F/n).”

A few people in the crowd perked up at this, obviously recognizing your name.

“I know (L/n)!” A girl shouted, shoving her way to the front before pointing over to a stone pathway, “I saw her walk over there a few minutes ago with her laptop, I bet she’s finishing up her sketches for exams.”

Flicking his crimson eyes from the path to the girl he gave a curt nod of gratitude before shoving past the students, ignoring their obnoxious goodbye’s and pleads to come back soon.

--

As annoying as this place was, it sure was beautiful.

The stone path shortly had turned into gravel as he got deeper into the trail, the multiple sculptures he had passed beginning to disappear as the atmosphere began to look more botanical.

While he couldn’t help but admit the path was fairly neat, he was also growing fairly annoyed. He just wanted to see your beautiful face already so he could snatch you up in his arms and never let go.

Ducking over a short stone arch that was wrapped in a messy vine that contained pale blue flowers, the ash blond’s dream finally came true as he saw your rugged form laying down on a blanket in front of what looked to be a koi pond.

Just as he was about to walk over to you, he paused when he heard a sharp growl escape your lips. While it wasn’t a foreign sound to him, it certainly was a rare one.

“Come on brain think of something! What else can I add to this to make it different?” You cried, tugging at the loose strands of your hair that already seemed to be falling out of it’s place in your messy bun, “Why is my brain so.. so.. ahhhHhhh.”

Bakugou chuckled quietly to himself as your mini rant went onto a slurred new language of your letting out a mix of growling and groaning noises.

“You know I was pretty scared I wouldn’t be able to find you,” Bakugou spoke up, causing your head to jerk up before you whipped your head around to lock eyes with the ash blond, “But your annoying ass whining was pretty easy to follow.”

“Katsuki!”

Ignoring the harsh insult Bakugou through at you, your eyes lit up upon seeing your boyfriend, quickly stumbling up from your blanket and running towards him.

Bakugou stumbled back a bit from your sudden attack but was able to catch you eventually, lifting your form into his arms as he spun you around with the added momentum you gave him.

“W..What are you doing here?” You said breathlessly, your lips in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

Placing a rough kiss on your lips the ash blond plopped you back down on your feet while keeping his arms tight around your waist, “I knew you were probably stressing the fuck out on your last week of exams.. and by what I heard earlier I was correct per usual.”

Rolling your eyes at his cocky tone you placed another quick kiss on his lips before nodding for him to continue on.

“I couldn’t just let you bomb anything because you missed this pretty face so much, so I decided to stay down here for awhile.”

Letting out a few more giggles as the ash blond attacked your face with more quick kisses you squeezed your arms around his neck tightly before looking back up to him, “What about your hero agency? Aren’t they going to be mad that you’re missing a full week?”

Bakugou scoffed at your words, his crimson eyes cockily looking down to you as a smirk flashed across his lips, “Tch.. to hell with that shitty agency, they couldn’t fire me if they even wanted to. Honestly if I said I was leaving I would have all those fuckers on their hands and knees.”

Bursting into laughter you placed yet another kiss on his lips before running your fingers through his ash blond locks playfully, “That’s my cocky little shit.”

Grinning excitedly down to you, the ash blond lifted you back off your feet again causing your laughter to fill the air once more as he swung you around before stumbling backwards, his back falling against the smooth grass while you landed on top of him with a grin.

“Walk much?” You questioned cheekily, causing him to narrow his eyes as he stole a kiss from you most likely to shut you up.

Pulling away softly, you kept your face close to his own, both of your eyes locked on each other as each of your breaths collided with each other’s lips.

“I missed you so fucking much (S/o).” Bakugou muttered just loud enough for you to hear, his hands running down the small of your back.

Inhaling deeply you kept your fingers gliding through his hair as you looked down to him lovingly, “I did too Katsuki, more than you will ever know.”

After what seemed like forever of staring, the two of you shared one last final kiss. While any kiss with Bakugou would always be somewhat rough and demanding, this one held a certain passion and love with it.

A passion of two lovers deeply missing one another’s touch. You couldn’t begin to explain how wonderful your heart felt, as if every bit of stress had flown off your shoulders. The two of you could never be happier. 

Breaking away only because you ran out of air the two of you panted slightly, still looking at each other with joyful loving eyes. 

That is, until you felt a pair of wondering palms.

“You look sexy as fuck in these leggings by the way,” Bakugou said with a mischievous grin, his palms giving your cheeks a firm squeeze causing you to squeak slightly before his grin formed into a somewhat impressed smirk, “Somebody’s been working out, that ass is firm babe.”

Rolling your eyes you placed a warm kiss on his cheek before resting your head on his chest, “And there you go ruining the moment yet again.”

Opening his mouth to rebuttal, both of you came to silence when the all too familiar sound of stampeding feet were heard.

“W..What on earth is that?” You asked softly, sitting up from his chest as the sound grew louder and louder.

Bakugou let out a growl as he sat up, carefully holding onto you so you didn’t slide off of him, “Your fucking classmates, I forgot to disguise myself so they went fucking crazy..”

“And the news spread..” You finished with a gulp, sharing an annoyed yet fearful expression with your boyfriend before an idea popped in your head.

Scrambling off Bakugou’s lap you quickly grabbed your blanket and laptop before yanking the ash blond off his feet.

“The hell are we going?”

Looking back to Bakugou you smiled, grabbing his hand and yanking him down another unmarked trail, “I know this little secret trail back to the campus, that way we can sneak to my dorm hopefully un-noticed.”

Deciding to follow your lead, the ash blond ran side by side with you, taking your laptop and blanket so it would be easier for you to run while you lead him down the messy path.

Bakugou had only been with you for ten minutes and chaos already seemed to be unfolding, but much to his surprise he didn’t mind, quite frankly he actually liked it. It felt like the good old days when they were at UA, just goofing around and living in the light hearted chaos you both grew to love.

But if there was one thing Bakugou knew back at UA and sure as hell knew now, he never wanted to stop living in the chaos with you.

He wanted to rule this world of chaos with you by his side..

Forever and always.

[fallingfromdepression]

this should technically go on my other blog where i discuss/rant abt fandom/media (not my main lol) but i think the vibe matches this personal blog more. anyway as i wrote a few weeks ago, i am starting a new job very soon. this week was the last week of “freedom” and i’ve been wanting to draw almost the entire week but i haven’t. it’s a combo of lack of motivation, lack of confidence in my art prompted by seeing how much better other artists online are, and general malaise.

i’m aware i have a combo of positive and negative feelings abt starting this new job, and recently i’ve been focusing more on the negative aspects. my spiral thus leads to me not really wanting to do anything. combine this w my recent thoughts (again) that me drawing is useless, that my art isn’t good at all and won’t really improve until i do meaningful studies that i don’t really feel like doing. i don’t get why i feel like that about art since i don’t have a job in art nor plan to have one, but i think it’s an inevitable/standard side effect of fandom since i p much have only been drawing fanart for the past few years.

i honestly am hoping shifting my daily hours to focusing on work will improve the neuroses i’ve developed around fandom (particularly shipping but also just in general tbh). i know the obvious solution is to log off or at least stop checking on fandom accounts but since i haven’t had much to do w my time for the past year or so (unemployment tbf) i’ve been hiding in fandom spaces to pass the time. sure in hindsight it’s prob just done nothing past rot my brain but yeah. hopefully w starting work i’ll shift away from fandom and prioritizing it less per se (by this i mean feeling like i SHOULD be drawing fanart, i should be contributing to specific fandoms when i have the free time). i’ve been wanting to pick up another hobby but learning something new feels like it req too much energy and drawing is something that takes “less energy”... ugh but i’ll have to prob pick up a new hobby fr so i can have “normal” things to talk abt w my coworkers (btw the hobbies i’ve been thinking about are crocheting, embroidery, knitting so like they’re still creative things. i mean most hobbies are creative things tho).

my relationship w art/my perception of my art has really deteriorated since... tbh since i joined twitter in late 2019. i mean i’m happy to blame twitter as the main issue but i feel like around that time was when i started questioning what i wanted to do w my art and whether it was worth it to keep investing time in it when i don’t plan to make money from it (lol). i think the 1st reason is valid but the 2nd reason is just... such a capitalist way of thinking. now that i’m thinking on it again, the main reason why i feel like this is bc i do almost no original art... i’ve been working on fanart only since basically 2020 and since i’m not like spending 24/7 drawing or improving my art, my art hasn’t really improved in the past 2 years past me learning how to use my digital art program better. i don’t think fanwork is USELESS, but i feel like it doesn’t match up to original works (original fictional and/or personal stuff).

the main reason i started questioning what i wanted to do w my art was after seeing an artist on IG discuss their desire to continue representing their ethnicity’s culture through their art; me, i was doing no such thing. i was (am still lol) just drawing BL and not really in a meaningful way. the thing is, there ARE parts of my lived experience that i would love to put into art form but still cannot. and i can’t really force it when i’m not ready, but seeing other ppl do it makes me feel like i need to. even though if i try to do it now, i won’t be satisfied w it. but still this concern has stuck w me the past few years and is why i question my continuation in fandom. i wouldn’t consider myself “active” in fandom as i have little to no interest in interacting w other fans online, nor do i post like every day/week -- so it’s not a matter of maintaining clout or friendships. i just question it bc looking at the big picture -- what can a piece of fanart do? it’s not really something i can put in portfolios (i mean you can but at my age it’s kinda lol i feel even if i didn’t go to art school) nor show to irl ppl without needing to unfriend them (i don’t create problematic or questionable works, but it’s just embarrassing irl to admit i’m still in fandom at this age you know). i don’t have the kind of awe-inspiring style that will stick in ppl’s minds and/or make them rethink aspects of the story (also the things i create fanart for... no offense but they’re not really that deep. ppl making them deep are kinda reaching/projecting imo. nothing wrong w that but also be real, keep a clear eye abt the og work). i’m not saying all original work does that, but talking about my lived experience(s) feels more meaningful than drawing fictional characters or shipping. but as i said: i still feel unable to adequately represent my personal experiences. i’ve tried before but i’m not satisfied w what i’ve written or drawn. and so i stick w fandom where i barely exercise much less flex my creative muscles, but at least i’m still drawing.

anyway i quit IG back in 2021 and honestly hope to do the same w twitter. sadly i can’t log off bc i have accounts blocked that i don’t want to see as i am not really mentally moved on yet; but i really do need to reduce the amount of time spent on that site. tumblr is alright for now, but it’s definitely still a time waster and i still do see art that makes me feel bad by comparing myself to them.

but for now i hope i can just take a break from fandom and being online all the time. i just want to like my art again

[keywestlou]

SIZABLE PORTION OF BIG SUR WASHED AWAY

America has been blessed with many beautiful nature scenes. One is Big Sur in California. Officiously known as California Highway 1.

Many years ago, I was in the area of Big Sur to play golf at Pebble Beach. My tee time one of the days was in the afternoon. I decided to see the Big Sur I had heard so much about.

Rented a car and was on my way.

The coast of California near San Francisco and running through Carmel is one huge cliff. Not as high as those in Santorini. High enough, however. At least 1,500 to 2,000 feet up.

A highway was carved out which runs sometimes on top of the cliff and other times a road has been cut into the side of the cliff.

Below the Pacific Ocean! Majestic waves pounding the base of the cliff.

Majestic! Beautiful! The only way to describe Big Sur.

I was sorry I was alone. The drive is one to be shared with someone with whom you have a close attachment. Such is the mood!

This morning’s news carries the sad story that a significant portion of the highway has been washed away by a winter storm. Obviously that portion of the highway will be closed till repaired. Could take quite a while.

One last observation. There are very few homes along the way. Only nature in all its pristine glory.

Joe Manchin is Governor of West Virginia. A Democrat who seems over the years to have voted more Republican than Democrat.

Can’t blame him. West Virginia a deeply Republican state. Coal mining a major industry.

It was announced yesterday that West Virginia was a “vaccine success” story. Eighty five percent of its doses requirement received and used. Yes, 85 percent of West Virginia has been vaccinated.

Only North Dakota has done better.

Why West Virginia and North Dakota can do it and the other 48 states still struggling to get going, I do not understand.

The numbers reported were by the CDC and not West Virginia itself.

A civil servant in charge of the program said it was the result of “creativity” and “innovation.” West Virginia studied what was happening in the rest of the U.S. and came up with their own plan.

The State did not activate the federal partnership with CVS and Walgreens. Instead went it alone.

West Virginia is more rural than big city. The State went to the small independent drug stores. Many mom and pop operations. State officials thought such would prove productive. Obviously, they were correct.

The small drug stores went to the people’s homes and farms. They did not wait for them to come to town for a shot.

Many persons live 40-50 miles away from the big cities and chain drug stores.

One story told involves a mom and pop type operation with a couple of employees. They stored the vaccine in a special refrigerator in their home kitchen. Six every morning they were at their kitchen table figuring where to go that day and arranging the vaccines to be carried.

It all worked! God bless Joe Manchin and the people of West Virginia!

I would like Florida’s Governor DeSantis to plan better as Joe Manchin did. Every DeSantis planned program thus far has failed. Looks good up front and then peters out.

Going to run Day 6…..Greece the First Time at this point. Then return to some other news items I wish to share.

  DAY 6…..Greece The First Time

Posted on June 2, 2012 by Key West Lou

Greece is a time bomb waiting to explode.

The people are unhappy. The financial crisis is choking them.

Economics is the topic of conversation everyday. Expressed with increased vehemence each day.

Riots around the corner. Protests already. The situation a tinderbox ready to ignite.

I was on my way to the Metro Underground beneath the plaza in front of Parliament yesterday. Thousands of people walk the plaza hourly. In one corner near the entrance to the Metro, several young people were carrying signs. One was talking into a loudspeaker.

Speaking Greek, of course. I neither speak nor understand the language.

About 50 persons milling about listening. I mingled in the crowd. I was able to pick up the gist of the protest from comments made by onlookers. Economics. The euro.

Listeners aroused. The name Merkle caused several to spit on the ground.

Recently, Greece had an election. Neither the left nor right obtained enough votes to control the government. So the Greek Parliament is floating along. The country in limbo.

A new election is scheduled some time in June.

Italy’s former Prime Minster Berlusconi announced yesterday that unless Germany backed off the euro, Italy should return to the lira. Germany appears the only European nation benefiting from the euro. The Greeks and Italians dislike the Germans. They feel Germany is being hard ass about doing something corrective regarding the economy. Whatever might be done would not be to the financial benefit of Germany.

Beware. I sense bad days ahead. Keep in mind that we live in a global world. Whatever happens in Greece and elsewhere affects us in the United States.

I spent 3 hours doing yesterday’s blog. I sat in one position and typed for the three hours. When I finished, my legs from my knees to my ankles were full of fluid. I went back to my room, took a fluid pill and lay on the bed three hours till the problem was relieved. Today I am getting up and moving about on occasion as I write.

I took the Metro Underground. It is a subway. I have not been on a subway since my senior year in college in New York City in 1957.

The purpose of taking the Metro was to visit Acropolis and the Parthenon. Way up a hill. Better to ride than to walk. One stop on the Metro.

A problem. The Metro Acropolis stop was still at least a mile from the entrance. An uphill walk. At a constant 30 degree angle. In the boiling sun.

Not my cup of tea. I had to stop not several times, but many times to sit and rest. As I sat, many passed me by going to the top. Many  older than I. Some obviously infirmed. While Louis sat, they marched.

The first part of the return trip was a problem also. The initial path down was of marble. Huge irregular blocks. Slippery. Small cuts in the marble to minimize the sliding factor. I slid, did not fall. It was not easy.

The trip was worth it. I was a part of history during the time I was on top. Acropolis, the Parthenon and other smaller temples. The most stimulating factor for me was the realization that all I saw was constructed BEFORE Christ. Way before.

Acropolis a temple to the Gods. The most exciting feature of the Parthenon the columns.

The smaller temples had columns also. However, they were copies. Some time back, there was a violent earthquake. The columns could not handle the movement. To protect them from a future abuse by nature, they were removed and replaced. The originals sit in a museum at a point down the hill.

Two generationally different fat cats responsible for much of what has been done. Pericles back in the 400s BC. The Rockefeller Foundation in recent times.

All the buildings are fragile. Thousands of years old. Modern man is constantly working to preserve that which was. There are scaffolds and cranes every where.

There had to be a topping on the cake after such a glorious walk back in history. It came in the evening. Dinner at Dionysus Restaurant.

Dionysus sits at the foot of the historical mountain. About a mile away. It is a huge outdoor restaurant. Top self. Great lamb. Greater view. Expensive. Worth it.

There in front of my eyes on top of the hill sat the Acropolis and Parthenon. All brightly lite. Awe inspiring. The viewing emotional.

Traditionally Dionysus was the God of the grape harvest. He was also known as Bacchus. Party boy! Festivals galore!

Did I sleep last night? Finally! The first full night’s sleep since starting this trip. I hope the jet lag is behind me.

Today is my last in Athens. Tomorrow I leave for Santorini. I still have not danced nor thrown dishes around. Hopefully tonight. There is a little Zorba in each of us.

Yesterday was Ally’s birthday. Seven years old. I forgot. I will Skype her later and make up for it. I selected a birthday gift for her before I left and gave it to her. So I am only half bad in forgetting.

I know not what today holds. Whatever, it will be good. I am in a place where it cannot be bad. And tonight….hopefully dancing and dish breaking.

Enjoy your day!

Back to today’s news.

Trump continues to have lawyer problems. Big ones! No one wants to represent him in the Impeachment trial. First Giuliani and some others withdrew or could not accept the responsibility for various reasons. A new team of 5 came on board.

The five lawyers withdrew with the trial scheduled to begin 10 days from today. The reason was a difference of opinion as to how the trial should be handled.

Trump insisted election fraud be the top item. His attorney’s disagreed. The trial should surround impeachment issues and not whether Trump was elected. Sixty one courts had already shot Trump down on that issue.

I admire the attorneys for withdrawing. A doctor does not let the patient tell him how to do the brain surgery surgery he is facing. So too with the attorney-client situation. A competent attorney would do as the 5 attorneys did. My way or the highway.

L. Lin Wood is a Georgia attorney who brought several election fraud conspiracy cases to court. Each wherein he represented Trump in one fashion or another.

The Georgia Bar Association has now entered upon the scene.The  Bar has asked Wood to undergo a mental health evaluation. Lin has refused. Refusal could mean suspension or disbarment.

Lin has opted to fight. He has taken the position he did nothing wrong, only exercised his Constitutional right to free speech.

Amazing isn’t it how many of those who have tried to help Trump eventually end up behind the eight ball.

What happened to the Republican House and Senate members who feared for their lives on January 6, who hid under tables and benches behind locked doors, etc.

With the Trump impeachment trial around the corner, their tune has changed. Poor Donald! He didn’t tell the demonstrators to do bad, etc.

Whores one and all!

January 6 reminds me of the Reichstag fire in Germany on February 27, 1933. Hitler inspired. The fire solidified the establishment of Nazi Germany. Hitler’s government became entrenched.

The U.S. is not yet entrenched in any movement opposite to what it has been for many years. However, it could be moving that way. People on both sides are aroused.

Sunday, oh Sunday! Will my home quarantine ever end? Some days I think it is getting to me.

Enjoy your Sunday!

  SIZABLE PORTION OF BIG SUR WASHED AWAY was originally published on Key West Lou

[athena1138]

I know you’re supposed to let people ask you for numbers and THEN answer, but I’m pmsing really fucking hard and struggling to hold on to the one single brain cell I have that’s keeping me from breaking down and just screaming/trashing the place. SOOOOO here’s 100 questions nobody asked me to answer. 

1. A selfie?

Two or three months old, but I like it still. 

2. How old are you?

23 1/2.

3. What is your birthday?

Nov. 2 (Day of the Dead~)

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple/Teal

6. What’s your lucky number?

5

7. Do you have any pets?

I, myself, have a cat, but my mom has three dogs and my estranged cat who couldn’t move into my apartment with me but whom my mom wouldn’t let me adopt once he COULD

8. Where are you from?

Corn. (Indiana.)

9. How tall are you?

5′7

10. What shoe size are you?

11 in women’s, 9 1/2 in men’s.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Um. I just moved and got rid of a bunch, so maybe 10 total

12. What was your last dream about?

Honestly, it was a sex dream about a friend’s sister. (Let’s not explore that, shall we?) 

13. What talents do you have?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (I write fanfiction.)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I have a shitton of deja vu that I think comes from dreams. It never does anything productive, but eh.

15. Favorite song?

Ah shit. To listen to, Rap God. To sing, La Vie en Rose. 

16. Favorite movie?

Taming of the Shrew, the Liz Taylor version.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone with a shitton of patience and an understanding of when to walk away from me before I break down. (Also, Fenris from DA2 or Cullen Rutherford.)

18. Do you want children?

FUCK THAT

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I wouldn’t mind having a wedding in a big, beautiful church like if it had a Window(tm) yknow, but there will be ZERO religion in my service. Even then, a wedding in a church is quite low on my list. My top three wedding preferences are:  countryside (but not the kind with cowboy boots and mud and a dirt-floor barn. I mean the bougie white bitch from the city doesn’t actually wanna get dirty kind of countryside,) seaside, and in the woods (like Twilight.)

20. Are you religious?

Nah. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I got a seatbelt ticket once and a written warning for speeding (which I’m still pissed about. I was on my way to say goodbye to my grandpa before he died.)

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Jonathan Frakes (TWICE!,) LeVarr Burton, and John DeLancie. It was supposed to be Brent Spiner in place of the 2nd Jonathan Frakes one, but with the fires in California and his son getting sick, he had to cancel. I was heartbroken. I adore him.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on the tub. 

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Who wears socks at home in July?

26. Have you ever been famous?

When I was 13, I won second place in a national creative writing contest and 3 gold medals for state. My little hometown did a front-page article about me. It was most definitely the peak of my life. That’s about how fucking far down the barrel I am now. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Money, yeah. Otherwise, nah. 

28. What type of music do you like?

All kinds but country. I have a special preference towards 50s ballads, lyrical rap, and 2000s summer hits like Cyclone and Right Thurr. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Ye

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

6, generally.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I have one of those pillows with the little arms on the side that I flip upside down and cuddle into like I’m sleeping on someone’s chest. I can sleep like that for hours.

32. How big is your house?

1200sqft.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Coffee

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yes. I’m a v good shot.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes. I’m a v good shot. 

36. Favorite clean word?

Pusillanimous.

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck nugget.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

4 days.

39. Do you have any scars?

A shitton. My favorite is the pair on my forehead that form a little 01. I also have a lot of self-harm scars across my breasts that I like. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

As a joke, yeah, but I’ve never gotten like... actual honest-to-god love letters. 

41. Are you a good liar?

I used to be. I don’t see the point anymore. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

No. I’m too eager to make friends. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

It’s not uncommon for me to accidentally do an accent from whatever show I was just watching, especially if I’m talking to myself. I can do a surprising variation on Spanish accents, but that’s also because of my Spanish linguistics class. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I have a weird accent. I say some things like I’m from Chicago (like, I say “hot dwawg”) but I say some things kind of southernish especially if I get mad, but some things I say Canadian and some British. 

45. What is your favorite accent?

Speaking English, Russian. Speaking their native language, Cuban.

46. What is your personality type?

INTP. Or, if you’re like me and don’t remember what that means, I’m a raging bitch who thinks she’s funny and tries too hard.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding. Fucking $460 after alterations. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?

No

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

150%

52. Favorite food?

Garlic

53. Favorite foreign food?

北京烤鸭. (Peking Duck.)

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy.

55. Most used phrased?

Cool beans///Suck a fuck. 

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends where I’m going. Work or school, 10 minutes. To something with my family or friends, like an hour. But that’s because I just move slower, not because anything changes. 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

Yes. I’m conceited as shit. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until they get riddled with holes. 

60. Do you talk to yourself?

60% of my verbal interactions are with myself, yes. (30% are with my pets, 10% with other people.) 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes. 

62. Are you a good singer?

I can match pitch. That doesn’t mean I should. 

63. Biggest Fear?

Ending up bogged down with kids I don’t want in a city I hate with a job I’ve been at for 10+ years. 

64. Are you a gossip?

Yes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I really like the remake of Steel Magnolias with Queen Latifah, and Diary of a Mad Black Woman. 

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On me, long. On others, depends. 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

If you give me a minute and a pen, maybe. 

68. Favorite school subject?

Band/English/Science. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Intro. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No

71. What makes you nervous?

The future

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Only after watching a ghost movie. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes

74. Are you ticklish?

Do you bruise easily? 

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Yes

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes, but not much. I asked my boyfriend to give me a sip of his 4 Loko and fucker was like, “nooo it’s illegal.” 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

What makes the boyfriend thing funny is we had spent literally that entire summer high of our asses, but “noooo, it’s illegal for you to drink.” His method of thinking was, It’s illegal for everyone to smoke weed, so it’s fair that everybody breaks that law, but it’s only illegal for people under 21 to drink so it’s not fair.

79. Who was your first real crush?

As in, a real person? Ethan Richards, elementary. I crushed on him for 5 years. (Caleb Smith was a close second, and looking back I think maybe he liked me, too.) But I wrote Ethan a note in 5th grade telling him I liked him and he super broke my heart. 13 years later and I’m still bitching about it. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

Currently, 9. I’ve had 13 though. 

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No. I make L sounds instead, like Puerto Ricans do. 

82. How fast can you type?

150+wpm. I beat out my typing teacher in 7th grade. She gave us a party to celebrate. 

83. How fast can you run?

If I’m drunk, really fucking fast. Sober, not very. (I got wasted at a party and sprinted all the way across my apartment complex to run back to my room and help my roommate get more booze. It was incredible. I almost got hit by a car.) 

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Potentially shellfish bc everyone else in my family is. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

My dad’s dead, mom works in the registration division in a hospital. Idk what exactly. 

89. Do you like your age?

No. I’m too old to not know what I want to do in life but too young to know what I want to do in life, and I’m in debt and broke and I have no job and no prospects and everyone keeps asking me and it makes me break down and cry and

90. What makes you angry?

Stupid people. This goddamn dog. Lots of things. 

91. Do you like your own name?

Now that the “Becky” thing has subsided a little, yeah. I used to hate all versions of the name Rebecca, but I’m pretty content with Becca. Becca Eileen suits me pretty well I think. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Psh. Even though I don’t want kids, yeah, I’ve thought of some. Most of them are ridiculous now. Fred and George for twins, Zane for a boy, Nonni for a girl, etc. Nothing I would actually choose now. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I think assigning importance to the genitalia of my child is a fucking ridiculous and borderline disgusting thing to do. I would want a healthy child, if there were to be a child. 

94. What are your strengths?

Um. I can sleep for a really long time. 

95. What are your weaknesses?

Lol. Everything, my dude. Fucking everything. 

96. How did you get your name?

Eileen comes from my mom’s best friend in high school. Rebecca supposedly doesn’t come from anywhere, but my dad was married to a Rebecca before my mom and I think that’s just too fucking weird to forget. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I highly doubt it. 

98. Do you have any scars?

You already asked that. 

99. Color of your bedspread?

Black. It’s the Hogwarts school crest! 

100. Color of your room?

Beige. My mom wouldn’t let me pick a different color. When I get my own place that lets me color the walls, I want some nice, deep violets with an accent wall that has criss-crossed fuchsia and teal. 

[princelettow-archive]

Octavius & Haseya babey!! (Bonus Jolene & Dan if you're up for it jdhsvs ik we need to develop them BUT)

it’s mojave brain time!!!! under the cut because Long!

octavius & haseya:

who hogs the duvet: at first glance i’d say no one particularly does - they’re both used to sleeping still BUT my money is on haseya, if only to make him shiver all night because it’s what he deserves!

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: if we pretend phones exist in the fawwout universe i’d say octavius does! mostly short texts when he’s on breaks, will only call if he needs anything or if she tells him she needs to talk!

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: octavius hasn’t given a gift in his entire life so whatever haseya does it will definitely be more creative than anything he can come up with hksd

who gets up first in the morning: haseya does! they both wake up early but octavius might enjoy some lazying around before actually getting up

who suggests new things in bed: haseya because she tops and everyone knows that

who cries at movies: probably haseya if only because octavius hasn’t cried in his whole life (and it shows, the man just needs a good Vent)

who gives unprompted massages: they both do! but mostly octavius to help her ease the pain in her legs and feet after a long day, he has good hands for massages!

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: octavius fhskd he worries a lot! 

who gets jealous easiest: i’d say octavius too! mostly because haseya interacts with more people than he does so there are more opportunities for him to feel jealous (he just has No Friends)

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: octavius because he never listened to music when he was in flagstaff and with the legion so you know he’d like the most awful songs he can find

who collects something unusual: probably haseya since octavius doesn’t even have that many personal belongings to begin with and the whole time he spends in the mojave he doesn’t really have a home he could place his collection in!

who takes the longest to get ready: octavius, he’s got big vain energy and won’t leave until his hair is perfectly brushed and braided and his armor looks neat and polished!

who is the most tidy and organised: octavius! he’s controlling in every single aspect of his life so you know he will get pissed if that one spear is just 0.3 cm to the right

who gets most excited about the holidays: i think they both start caring about holidays once they get together and start a family! i doubt either of them got the chance to really celebrate them in the past so it’s not like they have any traditions, but they would do it for their kids!!

who is the big spoon/little spoon: haseya is the little spoon because she feels protected when he embraces her and that’s a rock fact

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: oh they probably both do! octavius is extremely competitive and will never back down and i don’t see haseya being too happy to lose against a legionnaire either so it’s a match to the death

who starts the most arguments: they don’t argue much, not anymore since their go to argument starter was all legion stuff. they have great communication so they’d rather solve things before they develop into big messes 

who suggests that they buy a pet: haseya already thinks taking care of octavius is burdensome enough, they don’t need a pet!! animals also don’t seem to like octavius so he’s not a big fan of them either

what couple traditions they have: not to be corn knee but they like to braid each other’s hair and to bathe together! kind of a way to relax and just let go for a bit!

what other couple they hang out with: jolene & dan once octavius is free from the legion and they settle down in the mojave to live free :^)

how they spend time together as a couple:

who made the first move: i think haseya did! mostly because octavius has always gone with her pace, so he didn’t move unless she did, that’s why haseya tops

who brings flowers home: octavius in an attempt to be romantic but haseya just looks at them like “what am i supposed to do with these, tavi?”

who is the best cook: haseya!! she’s more used to it too so it makes sense, they both share absolute disgust towards pre-war canned food so both of them end up cooking anyway, but haseya is way better at it

jolene & dan:

who hogs the duvet: that’s jolene probably haksj she tosses and turns around A LOT and she’s used to sleeping alone so she still thinks she owns the place and just wraps herself up with the whole duvet (she feels rly bad if she wakes up and notices it though)

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: i mean they kinda work in the same place so they see each other everyday! but jolene is usually busy with Big Boss stuff (plus if she has to work for 🏠 on something it’ll probably take her some time) so if we pretend phones exist in the fawwout universe then i’d say dan checks up on her!! (with his -100 luck the message probably doesn’t properly send :/)

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: jolene 8) she really likes giving gifts to people so she thinks about them A Lot (her first gift to him is probably a working lighter though jskds)

who gets up first in the morning: jo has lots of work to do so she does! she was also used to getting up early while she was with the legion so it stuck

who suggests new things in bed: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 never know what to answer in these ngl!!! maybe jolene? or it’s 50/50? i think they have communication when it comes to this babey!!

who cries at movies: i like to think dan does fhdsk jolene gets emotional but very rarely cries!! 

who gives unprompted massages: dan!!! he can sense when she’s stressed or has tensions so he Works on helping her relax!!

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: dan!! jolene has big “i can’t afford to be sick, i have work to do” energy so he would have to drag her to bed like please take care of herself

who gets jealous easiest: i fink dan!! because jo is the big boss and ofc she’s pretty and they want to get in her good side and sometimes the guys she does business with flirt with her and if he’s around it’s like :/ 

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: jolene because she unironically likes johnny guitar

who collects something unusual: dan collects lighters that don’t work!! jk but i can somehow see him having some sort of silly collection he’s secretly very proud of fjsdk

who takes the longest to get ready: jolene! she has a very set routine each morning and she takes forever to be done with it rip gotta take care of that nice hair and skin tho!

who is the most tidy and organised: i think jolene! she has to keep a lot of things in order around the casino so it’s like second nature for her!

who gets most excited about the holidays: probably both of them! mostly because the strip gets really nice during holiday times and it’s always a welcoming change!

who is the big spoon/little spoon: jolene is the little spoon and dan is the big spoon 😈 she likes feeling protected and safe!!! it’s nice nd cute!!

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports:

who starts the most arguments: i don’t think they argue much!! none of them strike me as the kind of people who enjoy getting into arguments so if smth is bothering them i think they just talk about it like civilised people!

who suggests that they buy a pet: dan kinda wants a pet bcs the tops is a boring place but jolene is like “i don’t think the visitors would appreciate it”

what couple traditions they have: this is kinda silly but 🤡 when jolene is v tired or stressed they go to the penthouse suite and slow dance to songs that play in radio new vegans

what other couple they hang out with: they could hang out with octavius and haseya hdfska other than that i don’t know if there’s any other couples around 🕵️

how they spend time together as a couple: i think they mostly just relax in the penthouse suite!! maybe they go on a fancy date to the ultra luxe from time to time? jolene doesn’t leave the strip much so everything they do has to be around there!

who made the first move: probably jolene!!! mostly bcs her being the boss and everything… i mean she was probably kinda eyes/heart emoji about him for a bit because she found him Cute and endearing!! she’s not really the flirty type but she probably flashed a few more smiles his way 

who brings flowers home: dan does because that’s a gentlemen-like thing to do!! she keeps them in a vase and waters them because it’s cute alright 🤡

who is the best cook: mmmmm i think jolene! she’s been cooking ever since she was in her teens so she has experience and also she was alone for a long time so she was used to it!

[zipgrowth]

Can AR/VR Improve Learning? Integrating Extended Reality Into Academic Programs #DLNchat

When educators talk about bringing learning into the real world does that include the virtual world? Proponents claim virtual and augmented reality can enhance learning experiences like we’ve never seen before, bringing students into contact with environments they otherwise wouldn’t have access to. But can mixed reality become too real for the learner? Could it stifle creativity? And should we be concerned, or will the hype fade? On Tuesday, July 10 the #DLNchat community of faculty, administrators, instructional designers and entrepreneurs got together to discuss how academic programs should integrate AR/VR into the curriculum.

Lloyd Dean reminded us, “AR and VR are always put together but they are separate entities.” So what’s the difference? Chris Johnson put it this way: “AR adds digital information to a physical object or environment. VR digitally recreates the object or environment. Both then let the user manipulate that object to varying degrees.” Jennifer Albat condensed her definitions into a poetically simple equation: “AR = Places objects where you are, VR = Takes you to new places.”

Defined Simply: #AR = Places objects where you are, #VR = Takes you to new places. #DLNchat

— Jennifer Albat (@jenalbat) July 10, 2018

#DLNchat-ters shared how these definitions were coming alive at campuses across the country. Science and technical programs appeared to be leading the charge with examples from University of Memphis, Boise State University, Wichita State University and Northern Arizona University. Tom Grissom pointed out that through such virtual access students “get more reps in,” and that “repetition with immediate formative assessment can shorten learning cycle time and be more effective (and safer in some situations).” At The University of Arizona, shared Ryan Straight, students are being taken to a virtual Harlem as well as studying phobias using virtual spiders.

also provides opportunity to get more reps in, repetition with immediate formative assessment can shorten learning cycle time & be more effective (and safer in some situations) #DLNchat

— Tom Grissom (@tomgrissom) July 10, 2018

No matter the discipline, Jeffrey Pomerantz said, “3D tech is good for active and experiential teaching and learning, because it expands the range of activities a learner can gain hands-on experience with.” As more programs implement AR/VR experiences into the curriculum, more research is needed to assess its effectiveness. Christopher Brooks, director of research for EDUCAUSE offered two guiding questions: “What educational activities lend themselves to the use of 3D technologies? And what are the most effective 3D technologies for various learning goals?”

Coming to this convo late. But v short answer is 3D tech is good for active & experiential teaching & learning, bc expands the range of activities a learner can gain hands-on experience with. More in the report, obv. #DLNchat

— Jeffrey Pomerantz (@jpom) July 10, 2018

This week’s #DLNchat then posed a different kind of question to consider: could mixed reality experiences become too real? Dr. Straight reminded us, “Brains are easily hacked and fooled.” So what are the potential side effects of VR/AR learning? Clark Quinn posited, “One of the problems is the ‘uncanny valley’, where too real (but not quite) is unnerving compared to less real” and another “potential problem might be ‘escapism’, similar to problems with environs like WoW: people would rather stay in the virtual world.” Maggie Melo also warned about the dangers of virtual harassment. “The Extended Mind surveyed 600+ VR users and found that all genders are subject to different types of harassment in VR.”

a2) one of the problems is the ‘uncanny valley’, where too real (but not quite) is unnerving compared to less real #DLNChat https://t.co/8X2YdgVhfh

— Clark Quinn (@Quinnovator) July 10, 2018

So take off those rose tinted headgear; there are serious design questions to consider when creating AR/VR content. One current challenge is ensuring equal access across abilities. Jennifer Rafferty shared an encouraging story about how VR may support learners with autism, but many accessibility questions linger—some that may not even have been considered yet. Dr. Brooks shared that in research with Gallaudet University, their pilot with mixed reality raised a host of issues not previously considered for learners who are hard of hearing. EdSurge’s Aneesa Davenport asked, “Must we rely on the VR tech creators for this or are there solutions instructional design can implement?” For now, Gallaudet seems to be tackling the issues with their own team.

A3: I am usually one of the first to be asking about how we should tackle the accessibility questions related to AR/VR experiences, but today I was encouraged when I found this great example of how virtual worlds can help learners with autism. https://t.co/buvyOYa9g7 #dlnchat

— Jennifer Rafferty (@palomitica29) July 10, 2018

Accessibility will hopefully be better addressed as the creation of mixed reality becomes simpler for a more diverse array of creators–including students. Lloyd Dean said, “Heard a colleague explain today that future tools will be available to create quick and basic VR. Think Wix website design.” Students could then demonstrate their learning both in virtual realities and by creating them. Michelle Miller advised considering coupling VR with conventional tools for assessment. She referenced a project demonstrating “written summaries as part of the VR learning activity and found that this was a critical design improvement for producing learning.” Ready to create a rubric and assess a virtual world? Not so fast. “Difficulty in assessing is same as, possibly, other creative fields like art or writing. Takes longer, it's individualized, etc. These are good things, just harder,” said Dr. Straight. Perhaps grading systems will move into the ether too?

This great project by Mayer's group, e.g., had written summaries as part of the VR learning activity and found that this was a critical design improvement for producing learning (as opposed to just interest/engagement) #DLNchat

— Michelle Miller (@MDMillerPHD) July 10, 2018

So is the future of learning in AR/VR? Niki Bray expressed a persistent concern shared by other #DLNchat-ters: cost. She said, “My biggest concern is the resources needed to develop and the associated costs. If we can overcome that, this has great potential.” Others shared that sentiment and agreed that it was likely coming very soon. Alex Kluge said, “I think the big hype cycle was in the 1990s. We have gone through the trough of disillusionment and are coming into a plateau of usability.” Dr. Brooks agreed: “Previously, our pedagogical vision was outpacing the technological capacity; I think the technology has not only caught up, but surpassed our pedagogical vision. We're going to need to play catch up,” he said. He also shared some results from the EDUCAUSE 2018 Student Study: “Only 4% of students reporting having access to #AR or #VR headsets. So, we have some time to work on this before it becomes ubiquitous.”

A6: Working on the 2018 @EDUCAUSE #StudentStudy right now and only 4% of students reporting having access to #AR or #VR headsets. So, we have some time to work on this before it becomes ubiquitous. #DLNChat https://t.co/FRgCM41wIJ

— D Christopher Brooks (@DCBPhDV2) July 10, 2018

Kristi DePaul articulated her optimism for AR/VR technology a bit differently. “Rather than declaring it the future of learning, I believe XR [extended reality] tech will open up educational possibilities with an impact we haven't yet grasped. And that includes providing firsthand experiences that enhance empathy and compassion.” You might say the future of AR/VR in academia is extended learning.

A6) rather than declaring it the future of learning, I believe XR tech will open up educational possibilities w/an impact we haven't yet grasped. And that includes providing firsthand experiences that enhance empathy + compassion: https://t.co/TPEUvyiHeh #DLNchat @csuci https://t.co/ES0UaKzlla

— Kristi E. DePaul 🗺📍 (@reallykristi) July 10, 2018

How do you imagine the future of virtual learning? Tweet our community with #DLNchat to share your ideas! You can also RSVP for our next chat: How Can Competency Based Education Unify Lifelong Learning Experiences? with special guest Charla Long, executive director of the Competency Based Education Network (CBEN), on Tuesday, August 14 at 1pm PT/ 4pm ET. For more topics, check out our index of past chats. #DLNchat is co-hosted by the Online Learning Consortium, WCET and Tyton Partners.

Can AR/VR Improve Learning? Integrating Extended Reality Into Academic Programs #DLNchat published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

[manetsgarden]

Let Blogmas Begin! I thought a nice way to kick off December would be a little bit of inspiration for those of you who aren’t sure how to spend your extra time, or how to get into the holiday spirit! All of these are going to be fairly low-budget because let’s face it, I’m low budget. Here we go:

GO THRIFTING! Either alone or with a friend, find the most ridiculous and wonderful things for cheap – bonus points if you find a killer holiday sweater.

Harry Potter Movie Marathon. This is a must for anyone that has more than a few days off. Even if you’ve never seen it, do it. Trust me. Bonus points for lots of snacks, extra points if they’re homemade.

BETTER YET: Read Harry Potter. Or any other book, I just feel like Harry Potter has a holiday feel to it. My favourite is the Prisoner of Azkaban but you can’t really start in the middle if you haven’t read it before so….. The Philosopher’s Stone it is!

Make a moodboard about literally anything you want. Holiday party moodboard? Do it. Fashion inspiration moodboard? Get! That! Blogging inspiration board? WONDERFUL IDEA. Mood! Board! It! Up! It’s such a fun way to self reflect AND get crafty. Win, win. 

GO ICE SKATING! Ohhhhh it’s getting wintery up in here now. Ice skating isn’t quite so cheap if you don’t have skates but it’s FUN! Best part of skating: super fun and great work out if you know how to do it AND if you don’t then there’s only super cute and funny times to be had. Bonus points if you know how to play hockey and you scrimmage when you skate (someone do this with me please).

An hour long (at least) dance party. Alone. In your room. Bonus points if it’s to Taylor Swift’s new album cause that’s where I’m at currently. Seriously, I’m bopping as I type this. I guess bonus points if it’s Christmas music too but I can’t really get down to that. Except Text Me Marry Christmas – ICONIC SONG. 

Go through an old photo album (or your Facebook profile) because SO MANY LAUGHS. This one is for the days you don’t want to leave the house but your brain feels like it will melt if you watch anymore Netflix. Photo albums are simultaneously hilarious and nostalgic and they’ll make you ugly cry and snicker at the same time, and there’s nothing better than that.

Make yourself the best, most ultimate, rich and luxurious hot chocolate you could possibly have. You’re going to want it so over the top you’re going to question yourself whether you got this baby from Serendipity 3. I’m thinking whippsed cream, I’m thinking marshmallows, I’m thinking peppermint sprinkles, chocolate shavings, a candy cane and stick of cinnamon. TREAT YO SELF, HOLIDAY STYLE. 

Visit your grandparents if they’re still around. If not, spend time writing a letter to someone you love that lives far away. If neither of these apply to you, find a dog and hug it. If you’re not a dog person I don’t know what to tell you ’cause I’ve never seen a cat hug. Just spread some love to people who always love on you and maybe don’t always get alllll the love they deserve back. It makes a difference to them, I promise.

Girls night with wine and cheese and glitter and gossip. Everyone needs a stupid write off night with their friends every once in awhile – especially after a loooooong semester.

I for real just scrolled up to make sure I didn’t promise these would be fun (and I didn’t)…ready for it? CLEAN UP! One of the benefits of having a lil extra time is to have time to clean up the clutter and chaos in your life, so if you’re not there yet, here’s your reminder. Clean your room, wash your sheets, throw out things you don’t need anymore, reorganise, revitalise, REINVIGORATE! I’ll be fun now ok.

Go for a hike with a friend! (Even if they’re furry! Bonus points if they’re furry!) In my case this hike involves snowshoes but usually that just means double the laughs every time one falls off or I fall over. There’s something reeeeally nice about getting outside when it’s snowy and cold and taking in the nature after you’ve been holed up inside for awhile. 

Practice your Christmas/NYE makeup or hair ~look~. I just think it’s fun to play around with makeup, and it’s nice to get the hang of a look that’s a little more ~out there~ than usual. Also it’s fun to get dressed up and feel fancy so do it up! Then take 50 selfies and bask in your own gloriousness, you go. (I just googled if that’s how you spell bask lol)

Bake some mf christmas cookies. Who cares if you celebrate christmas bc cookies, cookies are for everyone. I’m talking shortbread, I’m talking christmas spices, cookies shaped like trees and snowmen are here for EVERYONE and they are delicious. I’m invisioning biting of the snowman’s head and I’m filled with glee. This is what the holidays are about. My favourite recipe is, you guessed it, Taylor Swift’s Chai Sugar Cookies. I’m coming off like a crazy swiftie aren’t I? This is a side you’ve never seen of me.

Do a puzzle. That’s right, I’m bringing back puzzles. Listen guys, puzzles are GREAT. I rediscovered this a few years ago when at an impromptu girls night my friends and I decided to do a puzzle and listen to – guess who? – old T-Swift. It was wonderful. I bought a Christmas puzzle and my mom and I are already planning it out – because yes puzzles needed planning. We don’t mess around.

Go to a Christmas or craft market. Best thing about these is that there’s no pressure to purchase, so you can get a coffee and browse around looking at all the wonderful little things and just take in the ambiance. 10/10 holiday thing to do.

Bubble bath time – I really want to use a bad word but then I think, what if my little cousins find my blog? What if I become really famous for an unknown reason and then I’m scrutinized for things like this? Anyways. Bubble baths are pretty straight forward, you know what you like. Note: no bubbles are necessary, perhaps a lush bath bomb is more your speed, or a little Epsom salt. You do you, get a lil drink, get a good book (or Netflix show and set that laptop up on your toilet) and relax because it’s December, school is done for now and you have no responsibilities. The world is wonderful. 

For month-long entertainment, go pick up a disposable camera. Haven’t you watched Stranger Things? Retro is in. Seriously these are pretty cheep and they’re fun to have around and pick special moments to document! You can easily play around with film photography and also make funny memories (because people will laugh when you whip yours out).

Spend some time catching up on your journal (ngl this is more of a personal reminder ha), or if you’re into it, google up some writing prompts and get CREATIVE! I know this isn’t for everyone but I love it. Writing prompts can be great to get them creative juices flowing. I dare you to write something inspired by these prompts (I’m looking @ you Taylor. Write a song about me already).

Learn all the lyrics to a new song. Bonus points if you do it with a sister/sibling/friend. My sister and I used to sit with a pen and notepad and listen to songs at caterpillar speed, write out the lyrics, and then learn them all. This is how I learned how to sing The Element Song – one of my greater talents, Dan Rad doesn’t have anything on me. Nowadays you can easily Google it but is it just me or is it getting harder to remember lyrics? Am I getting old?? Bonus points if you can play an instrument on there (I’m doing New Years Day on piano. I can’t play piano).

Take a printed picture you have – sidenote: if you don’t print your pictures, pick your favs and print them out. Okay now take a bigger piece of paper, and get all Tumblr in it. By this I mean create a lil art around the picture, based on the picture. This is a wonderful way to inspire yourself to get artsy. Even if you’re not good at it (like me) it’s fun and you spend time on your own just getting creative and thoughtful and it’s just the best. 

PHOTO SHOOT IT UP! You had to see this coming. Bonus points if you have friends who don’t care and will go out in public and do a photo shoot with you. Extra bonus points if you try it with a film camera. This is just a fun way to push yourself out of your shell – because yes it feels weird for everyone doing it, but once you decide you don’t care and you’d rather just have a good time with your friends and get some cute pictures and memories out of it, no one cares anymore.

People watch! This can be hard if you live in a smaller town like me, but malls are always bustling around this time of the year so that’s a sure bet. I’d like to get a gooood coffee and just sit and watch society for awhile. You’d be amazed at some of the stuff that goes on out there. Insane. 

Do a Youtube tutorial – but, like, a wild one. Pick something you love – music, makeup, hair, nails, dance, whatever, and find a tutorial of something that looks hectic and awesome, and try it. Dance tutorials seem like a good idea (hoedown throwdown anyone?) but I’m the worst dancer – does it make it any less fun? Not in the slightest. I’m really trying to cut back on how often I use the word fun.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE IT HERE THANK GOODNESS GRACIOUS! The one you’ve all been waiting for: give it up and spend the day watching Netflix. I’m serious. Take your OTT Serendipity3 hot chocolate, your Taylor Swift chair sugar cookies, and sit your ass (ah! a curse!) in front of the TV for awhile. Lucky for you, tomorrow’s post is a Netflix guide for only the best in Netflix – it’s the worst to flip through there with nothing to watch. The worst.

  I did it I really did it! One other thing I’m doing during Blogmas is a daily “Moment Behind the Blog” because I feel like none of you know me me and I want you to! Hi! I’m Sabrina Mara! This is my blog! Welcome! Here’s today’s…

Moment Behind The Blog: Day 1

I’m writing this on November 28 – I just finished one heck of a paper. Background: I’m in my final year of my HBa in History. I love it. It’s horrible and I am such a hecking nerd I genuinely love it. That being said – it’s SO HARD to write about fun things to do when you’re free of school knowing I still have this one HECKIN long paper to write between now and then. FRUSTRATION.

Also – Heckin is officially my replacement word for every swear. Just decided that right now. It’ll be like Eleanor on The Good Place (what’s that?! Wait until tomorrow!)

Your question of the day: Since I was so extra about TSwift in this – what’s your favourite song on reputation?! (Don’t lie, I know you have one).

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25 Things to do This December Let Blogmas Begin! I thought a nice way to kick off December would be a little bit of inspiration for those of you who aren't sure how to spend your extra time, or how to get into the holiday spirit!