#ready to either nap for an entire week or have a joint

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

....almost done, its almost over. i just have to keep surviving. push through. one more day and then i can rest for a day. then four and then ill have an actual weekend. you can totally do this me. yeah. yep. mandatory overtime is a bitch but your gonna crush it like you always do and have a super thick paycheck. you're gonna get it done.

[arabellaflynn]

Well, I survived Thanksgiving. The rat photos all went up on my Instagram, where I would recommend you follow if you want to see more small fuzzy animals. I don't really post photos of me too much, but I do occasionally show you all my handsome collection of vermin. The new cage set is a hit, including a new design of under-shelf toob that gives Les Fromages great joy and keeps them from tearing the shelf cover off, which they normally do. 

Mickie spent the rest of the weekend scaring the hell out of me. He didn't really want to come out for Ratsgibing dinner, hence why you did not get the usual sweet sweet Toon Bros mukbang video. The next day he was clearly in a lot of pain -- didn't want food, didn't want water, breathing hard, nose all red and crusty with porphyrin-snot. I couldn't find any wounds or any spots that made him jump, so I don't have any idea what he did. It might have been a soft tissue injury that didn't hurt unless he moved a certain way; Mickie is a magical combination of dim, arrogant, and inattentive that leads him to doze off on the edge of their shelf and then roll over in his sleep. Or, as he didn't want to groom me when I pet him like he normally does, he might have jammed an incisor or otherwise hurt something inside his mouth. 

In any case, I did the only thing you can do when that happens: Give him a load of painkillers and some valerian-laced frosting, so he could nap until it all kicked in. Even if I could figure out what he'd hurt, you can't really splint or bandage a rat. They just chew it off. Some people have had some success building them a tiny Cone of Shame post-surgery, but that's actually pretty difficult. They're not built like cats and dogs, with a neck significantly smaller than their head -- a rat can squash their entire body through any hole they can jam their skull through, so it's a tricky to get the thing tight enough to stay on without hurting the rat. Plus they have the cat thing going, where either you would have to be omnipresent and omnipotent or the rat would have to be heavily sedated to keep them from climbing things, and there's a good chance the cone would get caught.

Fortunately, a bolus of Tylenol and a good night's sleep did him a lot of good. I still have no idea what was wrong, but it's mostly not wrong now, which is pretty common for injuries. Rats heal up fast. He seems a little awkward when he climbs around, especially in the back end, but I can't tell if he's favoring a leg or if he's just a clumsy middle-aged little (big, squishy) fucker. He got woken up for ibuprofen/Tylenol q6h the first day, q8h-ish the second, and now he's getting ibuprofen morning and night for a bit just in case. It's not uncommon for big rats to develop weakness/stiffness/arthritis in their hind end when they get older; just like humans, the more weight you put on a joint over a long period of time, the more it wears down. This is about the age Tseng started needing NSAIDs bid, and he got another solid six months or so with excellent QoL, so assuming Mickie doesn't break his neck falling off some shit he'll be around for his second Ratmas.

Aside from that, I'm my usual level of disintegrating. A lot of what keeps me functioning is having a regular schedule. This time of year, a lot of classes and work/volunteer shifts get canceled, either for travel or because the people involved are getting ready for special annual events. The events all cost money, so I don't get to go unless I'm involved as tech or talent. I try to make sure I have one day completely off every week, but not too much more than that, because if I have too much time to sit around and contemplate my navel I start losing my mind. Things being closed mean there's a block of days at the end of the year when I have no outside workspaces, and that plus the weather mean I'm pretty much stuck in my apartment.

I love the rats, but they're not very good conversationalists, yannow?

I try to have plans set up, but being sad and adrift makes me tired, and being tired makes it harder to pretend I'm not sad and adrift. I do pick up some extra bits of work, but my regular work closes for the holidays, and things I do for the holidays don't pay out until afterwards, so money gets tighter than usual. It's a lot of wandering around, seeing nice things that I would love to have and having to ask myself, "Do I really need that to survive?" The answer is always no, and I know that, but it's really tedious to have that conversation with myself over and over again.

The thing that actually bothers me the most is gifts. I don't necessarily miss getting a lot of stuff. I don't need all that much, and if I do need something I eventually figure out how to buy it for myself. Having people hand me stuff that signifies they thought about me, at least a little, when I wasn't right there in front of them, I kind of miss. I don't care if it's a candy cane with pipe cleaner antlers and a pair of googly eyes stuck on it. That means they remembered I eat candy! The cost is not the point. But what I really miss is having the resources to give things to people. I am frighteningly good at putting together gift baskets that are appropriate to both the recipient and the occasion. I find it fun. It's a pleasing kind of puzzle-solving: Given everything I know about this person, and a budget to stick to, what collection of items would be most appreciated and look prettiest in a bag or basket? If I get it right, somebody's happy. None of them are expensive -- I don't think any one basket has ever topped $30 -- and I get most of the detail doo-dads at the Dollar Tree, but it's a lot of my entertainment over the holiday season, and I don't get to do it anymore, and that makes me extra sad.

[Gifts in general can be fraught for me. I always got big ticket items from my parents growing up. And frankly after I passed the age where my taste in toys was easily predicted from the contents of that year's Montgomery Ward catalog, the only reason I got anything I could use is because I wrote down the exact item I wanted, including model number and specifications, and handed it to my mother. After the invention of Amazon, she got emailed a link every year. I always picked a piece of consumer electronics between $100-200, and holding my mother down to that amount of money was an epic struggle that deserves an essay of its own. People paying enough attention to give me something I would actually want, without me having to point and ook at it first, is something I didn't get until I was old enough to handle my own gift exchanges with friends.]

Most of my holiday spirits get channeled into the rats. I can give them a used teabag for Christmas and they'll be delighted, which is good, because that's about my budget. Basically everything that makes them happy in life, and everything I need to decorate their cage, is available at the local Dollar Tree. Their holiday tchotchkes this year have a red buffalo check theme, which conveniently matches both a blanket I have and some fabric I have leftover from Ratmas past, so I'm running with it. I dug around in my sewing stash and got their holiday hammocks done over the weekend, plus a second stuffed tree, so I'm ahead of the game. 

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[jalapeno-princess]

Body Language

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: The most adorable fluff I have ever written with some first time sex (the smut in here is so vanilla and soft and terrible but I don’t even care at this point lol)

Word Count: 14.5K

Summary: You and your boyfriend Mark had plans to go out on a date until the two of you find out that it is expected to rain for the rest of the night. What starts off as a romantic night in turns in to finally becoming one with the love of your life.

Warnings: Oral (male and female receiving), fingering, breast play

A/N: Hey guys! If I am being completely honest, this is one of my favorite stories I’ve ever written because Mark is such a soft, fluffy and doting boyfriend in here (and I feel with my entire ass that he is like this in real life) and I don’t know but I just find it so cute when boyfriends are considerate of their partner’s desires to wait for sex (it’s rare but if a man really loves you he will wait for however long you need him to)(it’s even more rare when he puts your pleasure before his own but there are men out there and I still have yet to find one like that but one day)(@God...When?) by the way, this is based on the song “Teach me how to love” by Shawn Mendes, I highly recommend that you listen to the song before or while reading this so it makes more sense. Happy reading!

Ooh, your body's like an ocean I'm devoted To explore you Ooh, what do you desire? I'm inspired I'll do it for you

Won't you draw a map for me? Laced with strawberries And I'll get on my knees Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me how to love Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love

“Thank you for tuning in to Good Evening Los Angeles. Make sure to stay indoors tonight for there is a 80% chance of rainfall with winds up to 25 miles per hour. We’re also expecting a thunderstorm on Wednesday with winds between 30 to 35 miles per hour—“ 

Mark released an exasperated sigh once he heard the weather forecast and was quick to change the channel in disappointment. 

“Well, I guess there goes our plans for tonight. We haven’t gone out on a date in almost an entire month because we’re both so busy, I really wanted to take you to that new sushi restaurant but I guess it’s just going to have to wait.” 

You giggled softly at his now upset demeanor and took this time to snuggle up closer to his body if it was even physically possible. Your bodies were practically glued together to the point where you could feel his heart beat against your chest. 

His arms were wrapped protectively around your waist as he was propped up against his headboard with you lying on top of him, legs on either side of his lap—hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Right after you returned home from work a little over two hours ago, Mark suggested that you took a quick nap to regain some energy before you both went out to dinner later that night. 

For the last week and a half, he’s been planning to take you out on a date and claimed that there was something he had to tell you. Being the impatient person that you were on top of overthinking quite often, you begged him to confess what was weighing heavy on his mind, but he would always try to change the subject and told you not to worry about it. 

As much as you were dying to know what he was hiding from you, you knew Mark like the back of your hand—if it was something bad, he would have told you already so you just had to accept that he was going to tell you on his own time; even if it meant having to wait another week until the both of you could go out on a date again. 

He was quick to give you one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants to change in to—this was a regular occurrence. For the last six months of your relationship, the two of you spent quite a lot of time at each other’s places. A lot of your stuff was scattered throughout his apartment; he purchased both your shampoo and conditioner, body wash, a toothbrush and some other beauty products that were currently sitting on the bathroom counter—your side to be exact. 

There were a few of your clothes in his closet, but you never got around to using them. Whenever you would sleep over, he’d lend you some of his clothes because he claimed almost every item he owned looked amazing on you. You had a few of your work sandals and flats on his shoe rack, some of your vitamins and medication on his kitchen counter and he even purchased Disney+ because you were such a fan of Disney movies. 

Your place mirrored his; he had set up an Xbox in your living room to play with when he did come over, he had some of his clothes in your closet and in your drawers; some that he left there and some you would secretly take over time. He left a few of his rings and a necklace his parents gave to him on your dresser and he’d even bring his briefcase over if he had plans on staying the night. 

Sometimes, your mutual friends would hint towards the two of you moving in together since technically, you already did. However, Mark never really said anything about it and you just assumed that he believed it was still too early in your relationship to move in together. 

You thought about it every now and then; you wouldn’t mind going to bed wrapped tightly in his warm, protective embrace and getting to wake up next to him in all his handsome glory every single day. Any moment spent with your boyfriend made you always feel so happy; Mark had to be one of the best things in your life at the moment. 

Your heart craved his presence all the time—even when the two of you had a small argument or disagreement which never happened all too often. Whenever the two of you couldn’t hang out and spend time together—if your schedules collided or if either of you went home to visit your families, your chest would always feel so empty. 

Mark Tuan is where you held your heart; the both of you might not have been together for all that long just yet, but you felt and believed wholeheartedly that he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You could only hope he felt the same way about you because you honestly didn’t know what you would do if you were to lose him. Mark in more or less words was your soulmate—your best friend. 

From the time you were a little girl, you were such a hopeless romantic. You were in love with the idea of love and being in love and it wasn’t until Mark came in to your life did you realize how beautiful the concept of love really was. He’s opened your eyes to so many different things; he’s brought in so much life and color in to your dull and seemingly black and white world. You placed a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth—trying to take his mind off of the unfortunate weather situation and thankfully, it worked. 

He smiled against your lips, humming gently and deepening the kiss as he brought his fingers in to your shirt and grazed them just above your belly button. 

“That’s fine baby, we can just stay in tonight. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really feel like getting ready or dressing up. I just want to be lazy. We can order some take out and watch another movie if that’s okay with you.” 

He was silent for a few seconds, as if he was considering your suggestion to follow what the weather reporter said and stay inside for the night. He nodded in agreement before placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. 

“That sounds like a plan. I don’t care where we are or what we end up doing, I just want to be with you.” You playfully flicked his forehead and giggled at his look of confusion. 

“You’re such a cheeseball Mark. Don’t say things like that, you don’t understand what your words do to my heart. What do you feel like eating tonight?” 

You repositioned your body and sat right on top of his lap so that he could look at your phone while you scrolled through the many take out options that California had to offer. He placed his chin on your shoulder; watching as you searched up restaurants and fast food joints near his apartment. Feeling his breath against your neck sent a tingling sensation to your chest; it wasn’t like you weren’t used to the proximity. 

You and Mark clung to one another like sloths. If you were cooking, washing the dishes or doing laundry, he’d always take his place behind you and allowed you to do your thing, but he had to be holding you at all times. He confessed that he just loved the feeling of having you near; your presence always calmed him down and made him feel at ease. 

However, he seemed to be quite touchy tonight in particular, not that you were complaining. His hands were lingering in foreign places; the two of you had yet to become one in that sense. Since Mark was your first genuine boyfriend, you had yet to give yourself to anyone. 

It wasn’t as though you were waiting for marriage or anything, but you were the type of person who believed that sex was a spiritual, sensual and memorable experience as much as it was sexual. You wanted to save your virginity for someone you knew would love you and cherish you for your entire being; not just your body. 

Sex to some people was a way to receive pleasure and to soothe their carnal urges—but you believed that it was so much more than reaching an orgasm. You wanted to trust the person you decided to give your body to and you were more than grateful that Mark was so patient, considerate and understanding of your feelings. 

Not once did he ever ask you to go that far with him; he made it known that he wanted to take your relationship at the pace that you were most comfortable with. Although you were sure it had to be hard for him to stay abstinent, especially because it was scientifically proven that men had their needs and desired sex more than women did; he continued to be such a gentleman and allowed you to determine when you were ready to give yourself to him. 

It didn’t take you long to realize that you were in love with your boyfriend; actually, you noticed that your feelings for Mark went further than just infatuation around the beginning of the second month. The two of you had yet to say that four letter word though; it almost slipped from your lips a couple of times, but you were afraid of rejection if you were to tell him only to find out that he didn’t reciprocate your fame feelings.

As the days went by, you were soon losing your resolve. Seeing him shirtless almost every day, kissing him passionately and making out with him fervently, having him drag his fingers along your bare skin—each and every touch drove you closer to your end. You knew you’d have to have him one of these days; and with the way you’d feel him harden up against your butt or your thigh as the two of you would cuddle or the way his jaw would drop and clench when he’d see you in a body hugging dress or even in one of his baggy shirts, you knew he was just as on the brink of insanity as you were. 

“Hmm, pizza sounds good—“

“We always get pizza—“

“Well, that’s because I love pizza. Almost as much as I love y—yogurt. Uh—fine, we can get whatever it is that you want. How about you decide what we eat and I’ll pick out a movie for us?” 

You could feel your heart rate increase immensely as you heard the l word fall from his lips—but your stomach sank when he caught himself. Was he going to finally confess what you’ve been dreaming of him to say since the day you realized you felt that way toward him? Did he really love yogurt? Or did he catch himself about to say the only thing that the two of you have been prolonging on getting around to and try to redirect the entire conversation so that maybe you could forget about it?

Luckily you weren’t facing him or else he’d be able to see the frown that quickly rose on your face. You continued to look at different menus for a few more minutes as he pulled up Netflix and began to scan through the many different shows and movies there were. 

“Oooh, what about Thai food? It’s been a while since we’ve had pad Thai. We can share multiple entrees if you want?” You felt him hum against your shoulder blade and you took that as a yes before calling in your order. 

“Should we wait for the food before putting on a movie? Or shall we watch a tv show for now and just wait for it to arrive?” 

“I’m fine with waiting, there’s a new episode of buzzfeed unsolved that I’ve been wanting to watch. Is that okay with you?” He placed a kiss on the back of your neck and began to graze both of his thumbs on your hip bones. 

“I like the sound of that. I’m glad you waited for me—you always have a habit of being impatient and watching without me—ow, what was that for? You know it’s true y/n. You finished an entire season of The Office while I was in Taiwan.” 

He rubbed the left side of his abdomen where you had hit him and playfully pinched your cheek. Your mind wandered back to that day three months ago; his entire family went to China in order to attend his cousin’s wedding and it was the first time the two of you went over a week without seeing each other physically. He called you whenever he had the chance and tried to send you as many photos of his trip as the terrible service in Taiwan allowed him to. 

In order to take your mind off of his absence, you sneakily watched some episodes of your favorite show even after promising to wait for him to come back. You tried to watch other series, but nothing really entertained you like the cast of the office did. Mark was pretty upset when he found out—you forgot that Netflix showed you where you last left off and it was on an episode he had yet to see. 

Hell, he had multiple episodes to finish of the previous season to even start on the one you currently were watching. He gave you the silent treatment for two days; although, he still continued to take care of you silently—but he willingly gave in on the third day after you cooked him some of his favorite meals to get him to forgive you. He also claimed that he couldn’t stay mad at you for much longer and he could tell you learned your lesson by how apologetic you were in order to get him to start talking to you again. 

From that day on, he made you promise him that you wouldn’t watch anything without him and the entire memory made you snicker. Mark was twenty-seven years old, yet he still acted like a child. Even his laugh was that of a little kid; you didn’t think it was possible for a man his age to have such an adorable, contagious and high pitched laugh that never failed to send warmth to your cheeks every time you were the cause of it. 

His laughter and child-like mindset were only two of the many things you appreciated about your boyfriend. He was like a breath of fresh air—he never took life too seriously as most of the people around you did. He kept you sane in a world where everyone was seemingly crazy because of how hectic the real world could get. Both his and your laughter filled the room as Steve Carrell’s character was freaking out about something and soon, there was a knock at the door which you assumed was the delivery guy. 

“I’ll be right back babe.” 

He gently lifted you off of his lap in order for him to get up and stole a chaste kiss from your lips while making his way to the front door. You decided to grab some napkins and chopsticks from the kitchen and waited for him to head back to his room. 

“Shit, how much did we order, this bag is heavy as hell.” 

You couldn’t help but stifle back a laugh and led the way back to his room. He placed the food down on the bed and you began to distribute food on both your plates—all the while thanking him for buying the food. To say Mark was generous was an understatement. 

He loved buying things for you no matter how many times you’d tell him to save his money for things he’d actually need. Sometimes, the two of you would fight over who was going to pay; most of the time, he would give his card—whether it was at a restaurant, while you’d go grocery shopping together; if you went to watch a movie or went to the arcade, if you went shopping for new clothes or just random trinkets he’d see that he thought you’d like, he’d purchase it in a heartbeat. 

Mark just really enjoyed seeing a smile on your face and he would do whatever he could just to make you happy. You tried to tell him time and time again that you weren’t a materialistic person, truthfully—he could write you a heartfelt letter or give you a ring pop and you would probably cry.  But he’d never listen and you just got used to his generosity over time; it just showed you how much you meant to him and knowing that alone did wonders to your heart. 

Even if you had given him his own share of what you ordered, he’d playfully steal some food off of your plate just to rile you up. Mark was well aware of how protective you could be when it came to your food. There were times when you felt like sharing with him, but that was only if you both got different meals and he wanted to try yours or if you so happened to be eating and felt bad that he didn’t have any food. 

He did feed you to make up for his many bits of teasing and you could feel your heart flutter every time he brought the chopstick full of noodles up to your mouth. When you were both done and full beyond belief, he took the empty bag and went to go throw it away while you prepared the area for you to both get comfortable in. 

Once he was finished putting away the left overs and taking out the trash, he made a beeline to where you were and flung himself on top of you; earning himself a loud groan and a punch to the shoulder. He was quick to pull you back in to the previous position; allowing you to sit in between his legs while he intertwined one of your hands with his and placed his free one on top of your lap. 

“I was thinking we could watch that Ted Bundy movie since you were interested about his case back when they did an unsolved mystery about it.” 

Mark was always great at observing people; since he was more on the introverted and soft spoken side, he was more of a listener than he was a talker. For the last month, you’ve taken an interest in murder mysteries and solving crimes. 

You had the adorable tendency to repeatedly tell Mark your theories or who you suspected the killer was while you watched these shows and your excitement never failed to bring your boyfriend so much satisfaction himself. For some reason, you were beginning to feel warmth in your chest—it wasn’t the kind that you’d always seem to get whenever Mark would compliment you or did something to make your heart flutter. This was a feeling you couldn’t fathom in to words—it was one you weren’t familiar with, but it did feel good. 

Really good. 

Maybe it was just because hearing him point out such a small detail that he remembered set it in stone that he really did care about you. God, what did you do to deserve such a wonderful human being to call your boyfriend? What war did you lead in your past life to be the lucky girl who was able to love Mark Tuan? For the first hour of the movie, you found yourself unable to take your eyes off of the screen—it was just so addicting. 

Not only was the acting really good from both the main characters, but the storyline and the suspense was too interesting to pull your attention away from. Mark had to cover your mouth with his hand because you were unable to stop talking about how stupid the justice system were to believe Ted’s lies in the first place and that if you were a detective at the time, you would have seen through his act from the beginning. 

“He’s not even that good looking, why would these girls fall for him?” 

He snickered against your neck at your enthusiasm; you would always be very verbal when it came to movies like this. Movies where you would put yourself in the shoes of one of the characters and explain in to detail to your boyfriend how you would have went about the entire situation. 

Unfortunately, you failed to notice the warning at the beginning; you were too excited with the idea of how the director and all the screenwriters came up with the movie in it’s entirety to read that there was explicit sexual content in the film. When Zac Efron and one of his love interests began to have sex up against a vending machine, you were unprepared to say the least for what was coming. 

The female’s moans were extremely loud and Zac’s thrusts were rough; the two of them were practically shaking the vending machine and you were feeling flustered at the sight and the noise. Especially because you were watching such a graphic scene with your boyfriend who you had yet to have sexual intercourse with. If you and Mark were to have had sex already, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt so awkward watching other people having sex. But because you had yet to participate in that activity, it just felt so weird. 

Mark began to tense up against your body and before you knew it, there was something hard pressing up against your ass. You weren’t stupid, you could tell that this scene was having an effect on your boyfriend as much as it was on you. There was a tingling sensation between your thighs; you’ve felt it a couple of times before, but now that you were watching a sex scene and found yourself growing hot at every thrust and curse of how good it felt, you had a huge feeling you were turned on—but it wasn’t because of the two people fucking, it’s because of the beautiful boy whose embrace you were currently in. 

To your dismay, the scene seemed as if it was going on for hours—it’s as though you were now watching a porno and you honestly didn’t know how to feel about it. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell by his now clammy hands and the way he was slowly retracting himself away from you, that Mark was having a hard time watching—especially because he probably wanted to be doing the same thing they were and you couldn’t blame him, you wanted it too. 

“Babe, I um—I’ll be right back. I have to uh—use the bathroom—y/n, what are you—holy shit—“ 

Whether it was because you were exceedingly horny at this point and wanted to give in to finally experience what so many people referred to as their favorite past times, or because seeing the woman on screen beg Zac to fuck her harder made you want to feel exactly what it was that drove her to the point of cursing and begging for him to go faster. You also wanted to use this as your way to nonverbally confess your love to him. 

You were a coward; there was no way you’d be able to tell him that four letter word without knowing that he felt the same exact way, so you were going to wait for as long as you had to. Surprising both yourself and your boyfriend, you brought your hands down to his clothed erection and began to palm him through his sweats. 

He was hard as a rock; just feeling him made your breath hitch. You had no idea what you were doing, this was another reason why you’ve tried so long to prolong having sex with him; you knew he had previous girlfriends and although he never talked much about that part of his past life, you were sure he must have had a few one night stands and you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to give him the pleasure he desired—the pleasure he deserved. 

However, watching his head tilt back as you shoved your hand in to his pants in order to actually feel him without the restraints of his clothing, you had a huge feeling you were doing something right. 

“B—babe, baby—fuck, just like that y/n. That feels so good. Ahhh—“ 

You pulled down his sweats to give yourself better access to his lower region and did him a favor by pulling him out of his briefs. The sight of his cock standing right at attention; the tip red and leaking precum made your mouth water. You’ve never watched porn before and the closest you got to seeing Mark naked was when he’d come outside in just a towel right after he would take a shower—so this was the first time you’ve ever seen a penis. Well, other than what your high school health teacher showed in class.

From what your friends would tell you, penises were ugly. But then again, genitalia in general was not the prettiest sight. Maybe you were being biased because he was your boyfriend, but his cock was very pretty. Was that even possible? You had no clue at all, but what you did know was that you wanted to feel him inside of your mouth and inside of your pussy. 

“Mark.”

He was quick to look down at you and with the way he was gazing at you; with so much adoration, yet lust in his eyes, you knew that tonight was going to be the night you gave yourself to him. You couldn’t wait anymore; you needed him. 

“Yeah?”

You took in a deep breath; suddenly nerves began to build up and you had a hard time understanding why, but you found yourself fondling his balls against the thin cotton material. 

“I’m ready. I want you. I want all of you Mark. I need you—I trust you. I’m all yours if you’ll have me baby.” 

He was at a loss for words; were you really telling him that you wanted to finally have sex with him? You giggled softly at his blank expression; he must have had been processing what you just told him, but when it finally registered in his mind, you were being pulled up to his level and he smashed your lips together. 

The kiss was rough; he was allowing his hormones to act for him and you were extremely thankful for it. In the past, the two of you had many passionate make out sessions which usually ended with Mark giving you an excuse as to why he had to leave early or why he took so long in the bathroom. Now, it all made sense. 

“Shit, are you sure baby? Fuck—I’m so excited, please excuse my swearing but fuck—I promise you, I’m going to take such good care of you okay? You don’t understand how long I’ve been dreaming about this day. Your body—God spent a lot of time creating you. I lose my damn mind every single day watching you walk out in these tight little outfits and in my clothes and it takes every single bone in my body not to just say fuck it and have my way with you. You’re so fucking beautiful y/n, every single thing about you is mesmerizing. You’re one of the seven wonders of the world—I would stare at you all day if time allowed me to. Everything about you—your personality, your strength, your courage, your passion and dedication to every single activity and job you put your heart and mind in to—you’re simply perfect baby and I can’t wait to show you exactly what you mean to me. I’m going to warn you right now, I’m not a mind reader unfortunately, so I can’t tell what you’re thinking. I’m going to need you to tell me what feels good, what hurts, what feels uncomfortable, what you like—just be vocal okay baby? I want your experience to be mind blowing. I want this night to be one you will remember for a very long time.” 

You bit your lip at his words—you knew you were making the right decision in allowing Mark to be the person to take your innocence away. He already was the rightful owner of your heart, so you saw no harm in giving him the entirety of your being. 

There was nobody else in the entire world that you saw yourself with—Mark was it for you. You came to the decision months ago that you wanted Mark to be the first person you experienced going all the way with and you could only hope and pray he’d be the last and only person. 

He pulled you on to his lap and reconnected his lips with yours—grinding your clothed core against his naked sex. His fingers were squeezing all but gently on your lower waist as he guided your grinding—a breathy moan left his lips practically every ten seconds. If you thought hearing your boyfriend laugh was your favorite sound in the entire world, his moans and growls against your jaw had to be pretty high on that list also. 

“Mark—babe—I want to suck you off.” He quickly pulled his lips away from yours and his eyes widened in shock at your sudden confession. 

“W—what—you want to—you want to suck me off—who are you and what did you do to my sweet, innocent girl y/n? Where did you get such a potty mouth babe?”

“I don’t know, seeing your cock did things to me. You’re huge—is that even going to fit in either of my holes?” 

Mark tried to cover up his mouth to prevent himself from laughing more than he should, but you were just so adorably naïve that he couldn’t help himself. You didn’t know what the average size; length and width of a penis was, but Mark had to be around 6.5 to 7 inches in length and his girth was thick. You looked at him and pouted slightly; you were only ruining the night the longer you continued to indirectly hint towards your lack of experience. What if he was laughing because he already knew you’d have no idea what you’d be doing if you did end up blowing him off. 

Apparently receiving head was something a lot of guys enjoyed most about sexual intercourse—so you wanted to do that for Mark as your way of thanking him for being such a perfect boyfriend. For never failing to supply you with everything that you need, for making you laugh on the days that you didn’t think you were able to do anything but cry, for picking you up and dropping you off to work when he had the time, for comforting you when you had a rough day by preparing you a bath and making you a cup of tea—you just wanted him to know that you were aware and extremely appreciative of his many sacrifices, how he was so quick to tend to your needs and how he’d drop everything to be by your side. 

He didn’t have to say it; you knew deep in your heart that Mark loved you just by his doting actions. But you were hoping that maybe one day, he’d finally say those three words you’ve been dying to hear from the first time he kissed you. 

“Yes, it will fit. How the hell are you so cute when asking to give me head? You can’t be real—fuck, hearing you ask to suck my dick is something I’ll never get used to but shit—I think I could come just by hearing you talk dirty. You’re so fucking sexy—please—blow me baby.” 

You stole one more sweet kiss from his soft lips and got down on your knees; you were level with his cock and you wrapped your hand around his length, earning yourself a breathy sigh. 

“I um—I don’t know what I’m doing, so do you think you could guide me?” He gave you an adoring smile while gathering all your hair and putting it in to a makeshift ponytail. 

“You’re going to want to lubricate me just a little bit so it’ll be easier for you to take me in your mouth—so you can either spit on me or lick the sides of my dick and—holy—s—shit—just like that—oh—“ 

You didn’t hesitate to follow his directions; gripping his cock at the base, you licked long stripes up and down; making sure to press your tongue down harder on his veins. You then brought one of his balls inside of your mouth; sucking and nibbling on it for a few seconds before switching over to the other side. 

After showing some love to both of his balls for around a little over a minute, you circled your tongue around the tip of his dick and flicked at his slit just to see what would get a rise out of him for future reference. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but you gave him no chance to emit any kind of speech before you finally wrapped your mouth around him. You wished you could have recorded his reaction in that moment; his moan went straight to your core. 

His eyelashes fluttered as he shut his eyes and threw his head back—you didn’t know what to think about his reaction so far, but when he brought his hands down to your hair and tugged on it all but gently, you had a feeling you must have been doing something right. You continued your movements but increased your speed—bobbing your mouth up and down on his shaft as quickly as you could. Since he was well endowed, you tried your best to swallow as much of him that your throat would allow; the tip of his cock met your vulva with every thrust. 

Tears began to build up at your eyes and you weren’t going to lie, it was painful. You were starting to choke and gag as he sank deeper inside of your throat. However, hearing his moans echo throughout the room as multiple curses fell from his mouth only led you to desire going faster—taking him completely down your throat and pumping whatever you couldn’t fit in to your mouth with your hand. 

“Shit—baby, that feels so fucking good I can’t even—your mouth is so—feels amazing—“ 

You hummed softly at his compliment against his girth—pulling away in order to smile up at him but ultimately shoving him back inside of you. It was unexpected; you didn’t think you could benefit from giving head, but you were having just as much fun blowing your boyfriend as he was adamantly was being on the receiving end. 

Something about seeing him writhing at your ministrations and hearing him praise you sent warmth straight to your folds. You also really enjoyed having his cocked stuffed in to your mouth; something about it made you feel confident; sexy even and you weren’t one to get all that cocky, but you were getting off on your boyfriend’s many praises of what a good girl you were. All you wanted was to please your boyfriend, you didn’t care whether or not you were doing it right—but hearing him whine and beg you to suck him harder brought you just as much pleasure. 

“Y/n—can I—do you think I could fuck your face? Would that be okay or is that too much? You can be honest with me baby, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this—I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to—“

“Do whatever it is that you want with me, I can take it Mark. I want to take care of you too. Tonight is as much about you as it is about me. I want to learn how to please you; I want to show you just how much you mean to me, so do your worst babe. Fuck, I love sucking your dick Mark. It feels so fucking good.” 

He whimpered at your explicit words; yet he was quick to shove his cock back inside of your mouth—making sure you were prepared for him before he began roughly pumping in and out of your wet cavern. He tugged on your ponytail ever so gently and pushed you further down his length to the point where your teeth were grazing his balls. You honestly didn’t even think you were capable to practically swallow him whole, but you could feel his tip deep in the back of your throat. 

That must have been a good thing; your friends always made comments about how they couldn’t fit even half of their partner’s cock in their mouths and apparently, guys enjoyed it when girls could deepthroat. The naughty and sinful noises falling repeatedly from Mark’s lips made it obvious that he was having the time of his life. 

“Such a good, good girl. You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth. God, if only you could see yourself right now. You look so fucking sexy and you’re taking me so well. Your mouth was made to suck my cock y/n.” 

You brought both your hands up to his ass and playfully squeezed his cheeks, earning you the most adorable gasp from your boyfriend. After this experience, you were well aware that you’d need to blow him at least every other day in order to get your own fill. If he already felt wonderful against your tongue, your mouth started to water at the thought of how he’d feel in between your pussy. 

“Baby—I’m close—I’m going to—I—mmm—“ 

Before you could even process his stuttering, his creamy, warm liquid filled up the entirety of your mouth. You sucked him dry of all his cum—making sure to lap up any left over substance from off of your lips. Absentmindedly, you brought your thumb up to his head and grazed your nail around his tip, flicking at his slit playfully. He lightly tugged on your hair and the noise he released from the back of his throat—a mixture of a moan and a whine caused the coil deep inside of your core to tighten. 

After a few more long licks against his girth, you made your way back up to him and stole a sweet kiss from his lips. His movements were quick; he pulled you with him back on to the bed and flipped over your bodies so that he was on top of you. 

“What in the hell was that y/n? There is no way that could have been your first time—you were—holy shit I can’t even explain how incredible that felt and how amazing you are I’m honestly speechless. Damn baby, you’re a professional; that was the best head I’ve ever been given. Your tongue—God, you were made to suck my cock baby. Thank you—I’ll do whatever it is you ask of me—anything baby. Shit. Give me a moment will you?” 

He began to take in deep breaths, his chest heaved right above yours. You couldn’t hold back; you released a snarky giggle at the way he was acting like he just finished a marathon. He had to be overreacting; there was no way you blew him as well as he claimed that you did. 

All you did was sink your mouth on his cock and bobbed your head along his hardened length—going by your instincts and what you believed would drive him crazy. You did suck and nibble on his tip in particular; he seemed to react the most when you focused on that particular area of his penis. It was obvious he was sensitive there, and you were going to use that knowledge as your advantage and for future reference.

Once your boyfriend caught his breath, he turned around to face you and brought his hand up to your cheek, cupping and playfully pinching it before stealing multiple sweet kisses from your lips. 

“You can’t be real—there’s no way. You—God, you’re wonderful. Absolutely extraordinary. I can’t even think right now. I know we’ve waited to be intimate for when you were ready, but damn—I’ve been missing out. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything for me, but I really would not mind receiving a blow job at least twice a day.”

You jokingly rolled your eyes and softly flicked his forehead at his comment; but you already came to the decision that you would need to have him in your mouth as much as he was hinting towards needing to have you. 

“If I’m already losing my mind at having your pretty little mouth around me, what more when I’m buried in your pretty little cunt? I’m so fucking excited to be inside of you baby—but first, I really want to return the favor. I want you to feel the euphoria you just sent me through.” 

There were a few moments every now and then when you would imagine what it would feel like to have someone go down on you. Whenever you would go out to meet up with your group of friends, you would talk about everything going on in your lives; work, school, family drama—and you didn’t know how the topic of sex would come about, but they all seemed to live very sexually active lives. Since you were twenty-three years old, you felt embarrassed at the fact that you were still a virgin. 

Even more so because you were in a relationship—although sex was an exceptionally big deal when it came to dating, it wasn’t everything. You knew it was normal for some couples to not have sex at all—some people didn’t necessarily care for it and others didn’t revolve their relationships around it. But both you and Mark were still so young; sex was on the minds of almost everyone at your age. 

Therefore, you kept to yourself and never joined in as your friends would go in to great detail about how amazing it felt to be eaten out and that some of them were so addicted to having sex to the point where they would have to call in sick from their jobs because they weren’t physically able to walk. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t envious of the fact that every single one of your friends has had some kind of sexual experience. 

Apparently, it felt better to have sex with the person you were in a relationship with—or the person you were in love with. Sex was more meaningful and there was more connection—more intimacy involved. One of your friends stated that it was because men had a tendency of giving their all when feelings of love and adoration were involved. Now that you began to think about your conversations with them, you felt as though their words played a small part in leading you to finally wanting to go all the way with Mark. 

“Hey, you alright? I didn’t hurt you too much did I?” 

You didn’t realize you were spacing out until you felt him run his fingers through your tousled hair. Seeing the worry that was now on his face tugged at your heartstrings; it was painfully obvious that he was enjoying himself. Maybe a little too much, but you liked it. However, you were well aware that Mark wasn’t going to allow this continue unless you were having just as much fun as he was—no matter how thrilled he was to finally get to love on your body. 

His reaction made you smile softly to yourself; although he would remind you on a daily basis how you were the best thing that has ever happened to him and that just the mere thought of you is what would keep him going throughout the day, it was nice hearing him worry about how you were doing. Honestly, what did you do to deserve him? 

“I’m fine baby. I was just thinking. But—um—I—I didn’t think we would be doing this so I—uh—I’m not really—tidy down there and I don’t want you to see—“ He giggled against the juncture of your neck and dragged his teeth along your collarbone; humming while leaving wet pecks in his wake. 

“Baby. Look at me.” 

You lifted your head and made direct eye contact with the older boy. In the beginning of your relationship, you were very shy to even hold his hand. Every time he’d look at you or catch you looking at him, heat would rise upon your cheeks as you would blush in embarrassment. But overtime, you were able to look at him without having to turn away from growing shy and timid. You believed it was because you were a lot more comfortable with your boyfriend now and he was very verbal about how much he took great delight in being able to look at you; so you’ve grown immune to his many stolen glances. Although; you still had your few moments of shyness—but Mark was a fan of knowing the effect his gaze had on you. 

“I don’t care about things like that, okay? Really—most men don’t and the ones who do are complete assholes. Whether you’re as bare as the desert or have a full on jungle going on, it really doesn’t matter to me. I’m going to eat you out nonetheless. We don’t have to do that if you’re not comfortable just yet, but I’m going to tell you now, I’ve been dreaming about the moment I finally get to have my face smashed up against your pussy since the first day I realized I had feelings for you. It will feel amazing—I promise you. But just like you baby, I want to learn your body. I want to learn each and every curve—I want to map you entirely with my tongue. I want to memorize each and every single birth and beauty mark, every scar, every dimple. I want to know it all and I have the rest of my life to learn. I need you to tell me what you like—what you couldn’t care less for, what you want me to focus on, whether you want me to slow down or pick up my pace. I want you to be verbal about what feels good. I need you to teach me how to love your beautiful body y/n and I won’t stop until you got to feel even half of the amount of pleasure you’ve given me. Okay? I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” 

Each word that fell from his lips; his entire confession of what he had planned to do to you filled your chest with wonder and excitement. You were never afraid of finally giving up your innocence. Sure, you were worried that when he were to finally make his way inside of you—the pain would be unbearable and extremely uncomfortable. 

There were quite a few first time horror stories that you’ve heard in the last year from your closest friends, some of your cousins and even a couple of your classmates. But you genuinely didn’t even think about how it would hurt; you trusted Mark more than anyone else in the entire world. You believed wholeheartedly that he wouldn’t hurt you and as much as you didn’t want to think about any of his past lovers, you were sure he had enough experience in bed to know how to take care of a girl. 

Hearing that he planned on spending the rest of his life with you just set his feelings in stone for you. The two of you talked about your future together on multiple occasions; where you’d want to live in, the kind of house you’d want to purchase, getting a dog together—things like that, but you didn’t think he was all too serious about you being the person he ended up marrying. It was still so early on in your relationship to plan so far ahead, but when it’s real love, you just know and you’ve known for a long time now that he was the man you want nothing more than to see at the end of the aisle one day. 

“Okay.”

“Okay? Are you sure baby?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure about anything else in my entire life. I’ve found myself staring at you whenever you’d bite on or lick your lips. I—I’ve pictured how they would feel like nibbling and licking on my clit. I—hate to say this but I think I actually came once—I don’t know if I did, I don’t know how these things work, but my underwear was soaked and my vagina hurt the entire day so—please, eat me Mark Tuan. Show me what that tongue does. Fuck me with your mouth.” 

His jaw was now clenched and the veins on his neck grew more prominent. The low, stifled sound of what you assumed as a growl came from the back of his throat. He gave you no time to even think of what to say or how to react, he pushed you roughly on to his bed and smashed his lips against yours. His kisses were hard—fleeting, rushed—he tugged on your bottom lip with his teeth and kissed you with all the breath he had in his body. 

His hands moved all along your sides; he’s touched you quite often, but not in the way that he was right now. Your body felt as those it was burning in flames—there was electricity running through your blood and you had to squeeze your thighs together because of how dominant and animalistic he was acting. 

“Fuck, I didn’t realize how sexy hearing you command me to eat you out would sound. You’re so fucking hot, I can’t wait to devour you. But before I do anything, let’s get this off of you. Don’t get me wrong, you look so gorgeous in every outfit that you wear—but whenever you wear my clothes, I get hard every single time. It actually took every bone in my body not to beg you to let me have my way with you. Sometimes, I’ll even buy clothes for myself that I think would look good on you. I really don’t want to rush our relationship and all I care about is your happiness and your well being—but hearing that you trust me and that you want me to be the only man—a lucky man at that—to have you—I’ll never take that for granted.” 

He practically yanked his shirt off of you and flew it somewhere across the room. It didn’t matter to either of you—you were both eager to finally indulge in one another and with the way he was quickly discarding both of your clothes from your bodies; impatient to have his way with you—you knew he didn’t care about the state of his bedroom floor. Not when he was seconds away from ravishing in your dripping cunt. 

“I really wanted to take my time with you—I wanted our first time together to be soft and slow, but I can’t. The need to fuck the living shit out of you is strong. Oh God—your tits. Ah, I’m fucked. Seriously. As your boyfriend, I always find my gaze wandering over to these pretty titties of yours. But fuck—seeing them bare; your nipples are so perky and I’m sure if I were to flick one of them—they’d be hard. I can’t even tell you how much I’ve been wanting to suck on these huge breasts of yours. Whenever you’d wear a low cut top or even tops that are tight and hug your breasts perfectly—I wondered how wonderful it would feel getting to suck on and massage them.” 

You bit your lip at the thought of him palming himself and getting hard while thinking about your boobs. The truth was all coming out and you wished you came to the decision to become one with him sooner—much sooner. His words were doing wonders on the burning sensation in between your thighs. 

“Can I tell you something?” He nodded vehemently and you found yourself snickering at how eager he was to respond anything you said or asked of him. 

“I’ve played with my breasts a couple of times and I’d pretend it was you in my place. You have such long, skinny fingers and you have such nice hands for a man—I’ve grown curious about what you would do to me once we became intimate and I actually really enjoy how it feels. Breast play—I like it a lot, but I’m sure you can do so much better.”

“You’ve touched yourself?”

“No. Not down there. Only my boobs. I’m too much of a coward to masturbate.” 

Out of no where, he lifted up one of his hands and motioned for you to take it. You looked at him in confusion, but he motioned towards your mounds and you had an idea of what he was hinting towards wanting you to do. 

“Take my hand and show me how you touch your breasts when you think of me—when you’re horny and playing with yourself. You know, I would have gladly done it for you. All you had to do was ask baby—now I’m hard thinking about you kneading these large mounds. Shit, we need to speed up this process, I need to hurry up and rail you or else I think I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Teach me baby—show me how you do it so I get an idea of what makes your pussy throb. Show me—and then I’ll take matters in to my own hands.” 

You did as you were told—not wanting to wait much longer to feel his hands wander throughout your body. His touch was featherlight; you could tell that he was all talk. His words might have been naughty but you knew he was still going to be a gentleman when it came down to it. Mark was always so soft and gentle whenever it came to you. 

Sometimes, he’d take care of you as if you were a child; he would feed you if the two of you went out on a date, he would push you on the inside of the sidewalk, run you a bath after you had a long day and he’d also tuck you in to bed before preparing what he needed for the next day.

 As horny as he probably was right now, you could tell he was going to try his best not to go past his boundaries and risk making you feel uncomfortable. You dragged his hand between the valley of your breasts; letting his nails graze just below your bosom and you could feel goosebumps rising on your skin at how cold his fingertips were. To his surprise, you cupped one of your breasts with his hand and whispered for him to take your nipple in between his fingers. 

“Pinch it—mmm—like that.”

“Like this?” 

He squeezed your left breast—molding and kneading while twisting at your right nipple. Just the feeling of him pinching and rolling it in between his fingers was enough to elicit a breathy moan from your lips. You leaned your head back against his pillows as he was hovering over your lap. He leaned down so that you could feel his cock against your clothed entrance. 

Mark had left you only in your underwear while he was completely bare of any clothing—if you weren’t so focused on watching him show so much love to your chest, you would have ripped your panty off just to have his naked sex pressed up against yours. He continued his ministrations—spending most of his time just fondling your tits and flicking your nipples. 

After a couple of minutes tugging on his soft brown locks and trying to conceal your noises of pleasure, he looked at you with a devilish grin and a sneaky glint in his eye. Right as you were about to ask him why he looked as if he had a trick up his sleeve, he lowered his face down to your chest and wrapped his lips around your breast. 

“Oh God—mmm—Mark—holy—“ 

You couldn’t describe how amazing it felt having him suck on one of your mounds. The sensation was exceedingly mind blowing. He brought your nipple in between his teeth; lightly biting your hardened nub. He lifted his hand up to your other breast and began to squeeze it softly. When you felt him humming as he started to switch back and forth between your boobs; making sure both of your breasts got the same amount of attention, the throbbing sensation in between your thighs heightened. 

“Such pretty—pretty titties. I could suck on these things all day if you’d let me.” 

You were about to retaliate—wanting to jokingly scold him because you weren’t quite used to him being this vulgar, but he was quick to return his mouth back to your chest. 

“Mark.” 

He looked so adorable as he released your boob with a loud pop sound. “Yes baby? You okay?” 

You nodded in agreement before reaching for his hand and lowering it down to the waistband of your panties. Your boyfriend needed to know just how absolutely mad you were quickly becoming at his generous ministrations. He practically sucked your tits like it was his life duty to—as if it was his job. Without hesitation, you forcefully shoved his fingers inside; his breathing began to increase as he dragged his fingers along your wet folds. 

“Holy fuck, you’re soaking wet princess. I’m not even kidding babe, you’re like the Pacific Ocean. All because I’m sucking on your titties? God y/n, where the hell did you come from? You’re otherworldly.” 

To your dismay, he pulled his fingers away before genuinely doing anything, but he was quick to put his fingers in to his mouth and sucked on your essence. The sight alone sent chills down your spine—it was so fucking hot. He was so fucking hot and you needed him to speed up the process or else you would actually cry from sexual frustration. 

“Just as I expected; you taste delicious. So sweet. Mind if I get a taste straight from the source?” Once he received your nod of approval, he kissed you a few times—smiling against your lips as he began to cup your sex through the flimsy cotton. 

“Promise me you’ll be vocal about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you need me to stop—if it gets too much, I’ll try to pull away, but I can’t promise you anything. You taste too good.” 

Before you knew it, he started to make his way down your body. He ran his hands along your sides while leaving kisses down your neck—your collarbones, kissing both breasts, gripping your hips while placing kisses down your stomach. Once his face was right above your naval, he left a chaste kiss on your belly button causing you to giggle at the tickling sensation—but the laughter didn’t last long. 

He put both of his hands on either of your knees and pried your legs open; giving him better access to your entrance. Knowing that his face was just meters away from your core sent you in to a frenzy. This was something from your wildest dreams; you knew that the two of you would become intimate sooner or later, but seeing him in between your thighs made you lightheaded. 

Mark wasted no time in nibbling on your soft skin—he bit on your underwear and pulled it down to your legs, completely ridding you of your final piece of clothing. You were grateful that you picked the right kind of panties to wear tonight; although you were sure Mark wouldn’t have cared at all if you decided to wear boy shorts or granny panties. 

Since you were in a position where you weren’t able to see him, you soon grew insecure at the idea of being completely bare in front of him. All you wanted was to be enough for your boyfriend; he was nothing short of perfect and you desired to be exactly that for him. It’s what he deserved. 

Seeing as how you lacked self-confidence, you brought your hands up to your eyes to prevent yourself from seeing his reaction of seeing you completely naked. Mark was a very kind person towards you; especially because he was your boyfriend, so you knew that there was a chance he would lie or not tell you the complete truth in order to save your feelings. 

You were afraid that he might have been with girls who had nicer bodies than you—skinnier, smaller and more petite frames with tiny waists, big breasts and a round, plump ass. You’d rather him be honest with you, but even if he just so happened to find flaws on your body, you were well aware that he wouldn’t admit it. That’s just who he was; Mark hated hurting people’s feelings, even if they deserved to know the truth. Just because you were his girlfriend wouldn’t change the fact that he was always looking out to protect people and prevent them from feeling bad about themselves. 

“Nope—we’re not having any of that.” He reached up to pull your hands away from your face and gave you a scowl. “You—are so breathtakingly beautiful. I can’t even fathom your beauty in to words. I could write a novel about your gorgeous features—how did I get so damn lucky? Your body; fuck—your body is a damn wonderland y/n and I can’t wait to explore it. You have such a pretty cunt and I’m so excited to fuck it. Listen to me baby—you are the most beautiful girl on this hell forsaken earth you hear me? By the end of the night, I will make sure you know how much of a goddess you are.” 

He blew warm air against your cunt—immediately sending shivers down your spine. Finally, after what felt like hours waiting for him touch you—to actually touch you, he licked a long strip along your folds and you let out a loud whimper.

“Fuck!”

“You like that?” 

You nodded so quickly—not caring how straight forward your response was. He began to lick and suck along your folds—his hands made their way up to your ass cheeks and squeezed both as he went to work; nibbling and sucking on your pussy. His teeth grazed against your overly sensitive nub and you found yourself pulling on the bedsheets—needing to grip at anything other than his hair because you knew if you were to tug on his locks while he was sucking you dry—he’d probably be bald by the end of the night.

“Fuck—Mark! Ah—there, right there—oh—“ 

With every hum and moan against your core, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your end. You believed that you were close to orgasming; there was an unfamiliar burning sensation in your stomach and you knew that Mark was going to do whatever he could to lessen the tension. Your moans only grew louder the longer his mouth stayed on your cunt; his wet muscle continued to lap up your juices. To your delight, he brought his index and middle finger up to your entrance and didn’t give you any time to prepare before he shoved both digits inside of you. 

“Oh my God—Mark! That feels—so, so good!” 

You couldn’t even describe the euphoria you were feeling as his tongue licked and slurped against your clit while he began pumping his fingers in and out of you. Your heart felt as if it was about to leap out of your chest; he was taking your breath away and you were sure with how many times you were chanting his name that you were going to lose your voice before the night ends. When you felt him curl both fingers inside of you, you yelped in shock. 

He was reaching deeper—you weren’t sure just how far into your cunt that his fingers could go, but he began to graze along an area that was soon causing your knees to buckle and your thighs to shake. 

“Mark—Mark—oh—baby—“

“That’s your g-spot if you didn’t already know. I plan on keeping that in mind. Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Mmm—yeah—please, go faster.” 

He giggled against your folds and placed a sloppy kiss against your labia all the while adding in another finger inside. You could feel tears brimming at your eyelids, but it was only because he was bringing you so much pleasure. You absentmindedly lowered your hand down to his face and cupped his cheek; he might have said his main purpose was to please you, but you were hoping that he was receiving the same amount of ecstasy that he was giving to you. His movements picked up—switching between his lips, tongue and fingers. He even playfully slapped your pussy in the hopes of getting a rise out of you and instead of growing irritated, you were sure he brought you closer to your end. 

“Close baby?”

“Yes—God yes. Your tongue—your fingers—I can’t hold it in anymore—“

“You don’t have to. Let go for me.” 

The last sentence came out as a command; his voice was low and raspy which caused you to do exactly as you were told. Your head felt as if it was about to blow up. Everything was spinning; you began to see white and the tightness in your stomach was no longer there. It felt like a wave crashed upon you and filled up your lungs; taking your breath away completely. Mark didn’t stop his licking—he continued to suck up your juices entirely. 

He drank from your cunt like you were a well and he was dying of thirst. Once your boyfriend decided that he rid you completely of your release, he pulled his fingers out of the depths of your silky walls and made his way back up to you. The sight of your fucked out state made him chuckle—your chest was rapidly rising, some of your hair was stuck to your forehead and your eyes were rolled to the back of your head. 

In that moment—seeing you look as if the wind was completely swept out of you, he knew this was when you looked the most ethereal. The kiss against your forehead was delicate; featherlight. Nothing compared to the rough and impatient ones he left on your core just a few moments ago. When he brought his fingers up to your lips, you saw the white liquid running along both his index and his ring fingers and internally groaned. 

“I want you to taste yourself. Say ah.” 

You stuck out your tongue and allowed him to insert his digits inside of your mouth; you made sure to make direct eye contact as you sucked on his fingers just like you previously did with his length. You swirled your tongue around both of them, making sure to press your wet muscle before allowing him to pull them out. His brows were furrowed while he dragged his teeth along his bottom lip. He was obviously extremely turned on by your ministrations and soon, his lips were back on yours. 

His hands immediately cupped both your cheeks as he put in as much energy in to the kiss that he could muster. With the way he was kissing you—like he would die if he were to take his lips away from yours, you were growing impatient with wanting to finally have him fill you up. 

Having his naked body pressed up against yours, feeling his cock graze against your entrance, having your breasts pressed up firmly against his chest—everything was getting too much for you. There were so many emotions running through you; you were never going to get enough of having Mark like this. 

“How was it y/n? I mean—I’m assuming you were having a great time. You absentmindedly began to wrap your legs around my head and I did grow a little lightheaded but—“

“Oh my God Mark, why didn’t you say anything?! I’m so sorry—“

He let out a soft snicker against your neck and placed a kiss there while making his way back up to you. “Don’t apologize, it was fucking sexy as hell. You’re like my own personal ear muffs. Being suffocated by these thick thighs of yours would be an ideal way to go if you ask me.” 

You both erupted in laughter at his silly comment and you enjoyed the playful banter going on between the two of you. Was it normal to joke around during a time of lust and erotica? It didn’t matter—everything that happened tonight would be forever imprinted in to your heart. The events that happened so far were just as touching and heartwarming as they were sexual. 

“You’re such a dumbass you know that? But yes, I had a wonderful time. Thank you baby. That was—wow—more than I could ever imagine. Fuck, that felt heavenly. I really liked that; more than I’d want to admit. Your lips and your tongue are now my favorite body parts on you.”

“Oh, really? I’ll keep that in mind for future reference. I enjoyed that just as much as you did. I’m not kidding, you taste marvelous. I could spend the entire rest of tonight with my head in between your thighs—but I think it’s time you and I finally um—you know—“

“Fuck?”

“Jeez y/n, could you be any less romantic?”

 He squeezed your ass and slapped both of your both of your cheeks. However, he was quick to change his demeanor from naughty to gentle and soft. His eyes softened and he brought some of your hair behind your ear; letting his fingers glide along your neck and collarbones. The glint in his eyes made your heart swell up—any nerves that you had before going in to it were completely gone now. All you could think about was giving yourself completely to the love of your life. 

“Babe.”

“Yeah?”

“Take me already. I’m yours.” 

He gave you a soft smile and brought his bottom lip in between his teeth; he took his index finger and began to trace your features—starting with both your brows, then taking it along your nose to just above your Cupid’s bow. His ran his thumb along your top lip and you placed a sweet kiss on the back of it. 

“Say it again.”

“Huh?”

“I’m yours. I want you to say it again.” If you were to take a look at yourself right now, you were sure your cheeks would be flushed—you were now shy for the first time tonight. 

“Mark Tuan—I’m yours. Forever.” 

He clenched his jaw—your words obviously had some kind of affect on him. To your confusion, he got off of you and leaped over to his drawer; rummaging through clothes and underwear. Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting for him to find whatever it was that he looked for, he released a sigh of relief and briskly made his way back over to you. 

The tin foil packet was held in between his fingers and he waved it around like some kind of trophy. Only then did it really occur to you that you were going to lose your virginity—and to the man who your entire life revolved around. It was a bittersweet feeling; but you were more than happy to eventually be able to experience having your way with one another. He tore open the wrapper and placed the condom on his dick—crawling over to you and hovering over your lap. He gently took your chin in between his fingers and lifted your face so that you were looking up at him. 

“I’m sorry if it hurts okay? It might feel uncomfortable and maybe even painful at first. I want you to tell me if you need me to stop or to slow down. I’ll try not to go too hard since it is your first time, but if you were already so tight around my fingers, I can only imagine you’re going to clench around me with your pussy in the most delicious way. You trust me right?” 

You nodded—not missing a beat while giving him an exhausted smile. It wasn’t even up for debate, you trusted Mark with your entire being. He was the only person you would confess every single thing to. Whenever you had good news, he was the first person you wanted to tell and whenever your day wasn’t all that great, you wanted to find solace in him and he wrapped up in his embrace. When you nonverbally gave him your permission to take the lead, he lined himself at your entrance and tapped his cock against your folds; running it back and forth along your labia in order to collect some of your juices. 

“Remember, I don’t move unless you say I can.” 

He lowered himself and placed his lips against yours; you assumed it was his way of taking your mind off of the stretch that was about to come. As soon as Mark entered himself inside of you, you couldn’t help but let out a whimper. It wasn’t all that painful, but it was uncomfortable. Obviously, you weren’t used to being filled like this; something about the way his cock felt against your walls ignited a tingling sensation to your core. Your boyfriend moaned against your mouth and tightened his grip on your hip bones. “

Fuck—you’re so tight. Shit; I’m not even exaggerating—“

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes. God yes. You feel glorious. But are you okay? It doesn’t hurt too much does it?” 

You shook your head in disagreement. No matter how uncomfortable you were, it was adamant that your boyfriend was trying his best not to lose his shit. You were going to suck it up and take him like a big girl; you were well aware that the pain would soon be replaced with pleasure  once he began to pick up the pace. 

“Mark, you can move. I’m okay.” 

His eyes seemingly rolled to the back of his head after hearing you give him permission to move and he didn’t even take a second to process that information, he began to ram himself slowly inside of you. He pulled his cock out of you before pounding his length back inside of your cunt all but gently. His pelvis hit your ass with each and every thrust and just as you expected it, you were now moaning in pleasure from the feeling of the tip of his cock hitting the back of your cervix. 

The two of you moaned in unison each time he bottomed in and out of you. He rotated between stealing chaste kisses from you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and groaning against your jaw and sucking on both of your breasts; biting on your nipples whenever he thrusted himself a little too roughly. 

“F—fuck—feels so—“

“I know—shit—you’re so fucking wet y/n—“

His pace grew quicker to the point where he was practically railing you—the sound of skin smacking and clapping against each other alongside of both his and your moans and curses bounced off of his walls. You weren’t sure whether or not he was aware that he was leaving bruises on your skin, but you didn’t care—your mind was solely focused on him and only him. Everything else was just going to have to with till the morning. He pulled his hands away from your waist and brought them up to your breasts, pushing them up and down as he mirrored his movements inside of your warm cavern. 

“You look so beautiful right now I don’t think there are enough words in the English dictionary to even describe just how gorgeous you are. I can’t believe you’re all mine.” 

He lifted one of your legs and threw it over his shoulder; you weren’t sure exactly what he was doing until he pushed his dick back into your folds and began to reach deeper and further in to your pussy. “H-holy shit Mark—“ His girth continuously grazed against your clit; the way his hands were roaming all throughout your body, you had a feeling he couldn’t keep his hands in one place. 

Sweat was dripping down the both of you; when he lifted your other leg on top of his shoulder, you immediately clenched around him. The sensation was driving you literally insane. He was right; now that he had an idea of what made you squirm and scream, you could tell that he was going to use it against you. 

“Fuck, did you just get tighter? Stop that—please, I know I’m minutes away from coming and I don’t want to cum just yet. I really didn’t want to tease you tonight, but I will teach you a lesson if I have to. Don’t test me y/n. Come on, you’ve been such a good girl this entire night baby. We can experiment more next time, but for now, I just want to make love to my pretty girl.” 

It was tempting; if he was going to mess around with you by constantly trying to reach for your g-spot, you wanted to show him the same amount of teasing by clenching around him. You also wanted to see just how animalistic your boyfriend could get and you wanted him to go rough on you—but you didn’t want to have to beg him to do something, anything to help you reach your release. You wanted to experience coming with him—you were already so close to your second coming. 

Mark was a man of actions rather than of talking, so you trusted the fact that he would punish you if you did continue to go against his wishes. Although you were well aware now that you’ve finally had him inside of you, having sex would be a frequent activity—you felt yourself smiling like an idiot hearing him make plans for the next time you’d tumble in to bed together. 

After a few moments, you felt your legs giving in—probably because of how sore your inner thighs were now that he kept burying himself in between them at a mind blowing pace. He fucked you like he had vengeance on you—his cock filled you to the hilt. Slowly, he brought your legs off of him and got closer to you; he intertwined your hands together and placed them on either side of your head.

He continued to pump himself inside of you—constant moans continued to fall from your lips. You were completely speechless; his name fell off of your lips like a mantra. He kissed you hard; his pink lips were swollen and you were sure your lips looked similar if not the same. 

“Y/n.” 

You looked up at him and your breath hitched when you saw the way he was looking at you. His gaze was one that you didn’t recognize. His eyes were soft—he had a small smile that you wouldn’t have been able to distinguish if you didn’t see the glint in his eyes. You were about to question his sudden whisper of your name but he beat you to it. 

“I love you. God, do I love you. I love you so much baby. I love you, I love you, I love you. I don’t ever want to stop saying it.” 

With every thrust came a love confession and just hearing him admit those three magical words; the three words you’ve been yearning to hear for months—his words alone sent butterflies to your tummy and you weren’t even able to say it back to him before you felt yourself letting go and seeing stars for a second time. With a few more thrusts, you were soon being filled with his creamy, warm liquid and he flopped down on top of you while burying his face in between your breasts. 

You brought one hand in to his hair while dragging the other gently across of the expense of his back. The two of you laid there in silence; giving yourselves some time to both settle down from your breathtaking and extremely mind blowing orgasms. You were sure he could feel your heart racing against his chest; his was beating rapidly against yours. A huge grin rose on your face as you began to think about his love confession. 

He loved you. 

You didn’t care that it took him six months to admit his feelings for you, you were completely over the moon. You left a soft kiss right below his ear. 

“I love you too Mark and I’m in love with you. I have been for longer than I’d like to admit. I’ve been wanting to tell you for months, but I was afraid that it was too early to tell you and that you didn’t feel that way about me—“

“I’ve been in love with you since our second date y/n I’m not even joking. Don’t get me wrong, like I’ve mentioned multiple times tonight, you’re genuinely such a beautiful girl—you’re literally a sight for sore eyes. But everything about you is seemingly perfect. Your personality, your intelligence, your kindness, generosity and your heart. The way you dropped everything to run over to help that older lady carry her groceries to the bus stop and then the way you didn’t even hesitate to buy ice cream for that little girl who dropped hers at the play ground. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, I need you to know that. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re my entire world y/n. These last six months with you—getting to love you—kissing you, having late night conversations about the future with you, going on all these cute little dates with you, staying up till three in the morning to talk with you—I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I would go to the ends of this earth if it meant having you for the rest of my life in each and every lifetime.” 

Tears began to fall down your cheeks and you immediately pulled him in to another kiss; you didn’t think you were able to top his heartfelt speech nor did you want to. You could only hope your signs of affection would be enough to prove what your words weren’t able to. 

“Is sex everything you could hope it would be?”

“Yes. I um—I’m actually upset with myself for waiting this long. If I knew back then what I know now; if I knew how glorious making love to you would be then I would have let you take me right after our first date. You’re so good to me Mark. You’re the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for that; and for every single thing that you do for me. Was I okay though? I know, you’ve probably been with partners who had more experience and were able to please you in better ways than I did, but I’m willing to learn whatever I need to in order to be good enough for you—“

You frowned when he roughly placed his hand over your mouth in attempts to silence you and licked his hand out of force of habit. “I never ever want to hear you say that you aren’t good enough for me or that you want to change your ways to be what you think I deserve. You are what I deserve; hell, if anything, I’m not good enough for you y/n. That was the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life and I mean it. I’m not just saying that to spare your feelings or to make you feel better about the situation. You are the only person I’ve ever been in love with. You’re the only person I am ever going to love. What we had wasn’t sex—we made love. You were perfect baby. You made sure to take care of me and made tonight about us—even if I really wanted to focus specifically on you. Did I not praise you enough for the mindblowing blowjob you gave me? Where did you even learn how to do that? That was—I’m speechless. You took my breath away at least five times tonight and now you’re doing it for a sixth time just looking the way you do right now. If you’re not tired, I’m hard again. I’m sure you can feel it. There are so many things I want to do to you and since the night is still young, maybe we can cross some of those things off of my list. I want you on all fours baby. I wanna see that ass clap for me.”

Your imagination Now I'm fixated And I'm dying to learn Every inch of you Therе's something new F'ing me up I'm what you deserve, just

Draw a map for me Laced with strawberries And I'll get on my knees

Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me how to love Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love

How to love How to love Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love

Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush

Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me how to love (please teach me how to love) Put my hands around you Ooh, teach me how to Touch you, tease, caress you, and please you Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love

How to love How to love Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love How to love How to love Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Babe, I won't stop 'til you feel the rush Teach me, teach me, teach me how to love

[jenonctcity]

My Responsibility - Epilogue

Differences - Huang Renjun  

Part of the Bad Boy Series.

Badboy!Au, Parent!Au

Warnings: Very brief mentions of abortion, minor character death, pregnancy, swearing, mention of injury, mention of sex. 

Word Count: 7k

Renjun is 20 years old, and things are going perfect for him for what feels like the first time in eternity. He has a stable relationship with the woman of his dreams, and his baby girl Jiyeon is the most adorable child in the world and he’s so thankful that’s shes well behaved. Of course there was ups and downs, but he was finding them easier to battle against with the support of you behind him. Even if the battles did mostly consist of things like Jiyeon eating an entire bag of gummy bears when Renjun wasn’t looking and then her vomiting them back up less than 10 minutes later, or when Renjun accidentally turned everyone’s laundry pink when he’d put Jiyeon’s red dress in the washing with the whites. Little things like that mattered to him to have a support.

Another thing he loved about having a girlfriend, was the sex. He still had a constant craving to get on top of you and hump you like a dog in heat, and you kindly let him. Which also ended up being the reason you ended up pregnant less than a year into your relationship with him.

“You’re being so grumpy.” He frowned after you pushed him away from you when he tried persistently to get into your panties. You rolled your eyes, frowning back at him and folding your arms over your chest.

“I’m not in the mood to have sex with you, it’s barely 9am and I don’t feel too great.” You mumbled, rolling over in bed and turning your back to him. He stared at you, his facial expression showing how displeased at your attitude he was.

“You haven’t got to be a bitch about it, jeez.” He grumbled and turned his back to you, pulling the duvet up over his shoulder and huffing.

“Fuck you, you’re the reason why I’m grumpy.” You grunted at him, shutting your eyes and trying to ignore him.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” He turned around, almost offended that you’re blaming him for your sour mood.

“Tell your superhuman sperm that.” You mumbled, not really thinking that he could hear you, but his ears pricked up and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you talking about? See I haven’t done anything wrong so you’re attacking my sperm. You’re so petty.” He sat up and pulled on a pair of boxers from his drawer, not wanting to put up with your attitude anymore.

“Because Renjun,” You paused to sit up and look at him with fire in your eyes. “I missed one pill. ONE FUCKING PILL!!! And normally there would be enough of the pill still in my system to prevent anything from happening, but your stupid, superhuman fucking sperm went against the odds and somehow made its journey to its destination.” You couldn’t help but snapping at him, not really wanting this to be how you admitted to him that you were pregnant, but it was too late now. His mouth dropped open and he went sheet white. You quickly laid down again with your back to him, sniffing back your emotions and thinking about all the possible outcomes.

“W-what?” He visibly gulped, his mouth falling open as it completely dawned on him.

“I’m pregnant.” Your words fell on deaf ears, Renjun too in his own head stressing out about the bomb you’d just dropped on him. He stood up, hastily putting on jeans and a t-shirt, not even realising nor caring that the t-shirt he threw on was inside out. He left the room and you sighed, not even realising that he’d left because your back was to the door. “I know you don’t want more kids, and I’m sorry that this happened, but I did warn you that it wasn’t a good idea to not use a condom…Oh now you’re just going to ignore me? And you called me petty.” You sat up with a frown on your face, ready to square up to him about this, but your face fell when you saw he was gone, and the door was left open. “Renjun?” You felt your stomach plummet through to the centre of the earth, just crossing your fingers that he did eventually come back.

Renjun sat in Chenle and Jisung’s living room, a tub of chocolate ice cream on his lap with a thick fluffy blanket wrapped around him, his eyes red with all of the tears that he’d spilt. He was watching a car race on the tv and he kept shovelling spoonful’s of ice cream in his mouth. Chenle and Jisung just sat either side of him, looking concerned but not wanting to ask just in case he started to cry again like he had when Jisung dared to inform him that his t-shirt was inside out. They heard the front door to their apartment rattle, and then Jaemin stepped through the door. He had been notified by Chenle that Renjun was hauled up in their apartment, eating his feelings instead of expressing them.

“You’ll get diabetes if you eat all of that.” Jaemin commented as he crouched down in front of Renjun, very gently pulling the tub of ice cream away from him and being cautious not to unsettle the poor man. “You know you have a girlfriend at home who’s very upset because of your absence.” He speaks very calmly and softly to Renjun. Renjun sighs and runs a hand over his face, feeling ashamed of himself for only thinking of his own feelings. A baby was a joint effort, and he had just as much of a part in making it as you did. He had guilt swimming in the pit of his stomach, knowing that you were probably crushed because he ran out in the way that he did.

“I know.” He mumbles and gulps, looking up at the ceiling and trying not to cry. “I’m having another baby…I’m twenty years old and about to have my second child Jaemin, I didn’t want this…I didn’t even want the first one…(Y/N)’s parents already hate me, they’ll hate me even more now I knocked up their daughter!” He’d never really broken down about his insecurities in being a father, because he’d just gotten on with it, and when he held Jiyeon for the first time he didn’t regret making her at all. He hoped he would feel this way about his unborn child when it came into the world, but he couldn’t be certain yet. He had met your parents not long after you’d started dating. He thought that they hated him, but they actually didn’t mind him, and both of your parents adored Jiyeon. He was just overthinking.

“I know, I’m not going to tell you that your feelings are invalid, I’m just going to tell you that you need to think about (Y/N) right now, and instead of sitting here between these two muppets and crying about it, maybe you should be holding your girlfriend and crying with her. Because she’s currently crying on her own.” Jaemin gave him a tender smile and patted Renjun’s knee. Renjun nodded and stood up, his eyes feeling sore and his stomach making him feel nauseas. He knew that Jaemin was right with everything he said, and he had to make things right before it was too late.

He went back to the apartment alone, Jaemin staying with Chenle and Jisung because he knew that the two of you would want to be alone. He sighed as he enters the apartment, kicking off his shoes and setting his keys down on the kitchen counter. He had a quick glass of water to get his fluids up and to calm his nerves slightly.

“Did you find him Jaems?” You were rubbing your red, watery eyes when you walked into the kitchen, your favourite blanket wrapped around your body much like Renjun had wrapped the blanket around his body when he needed the comfort. You paused when you pulled your hands away from your eyes and saw Renjun instead of Jaemin. “Oh.” You were taken by surprise and you looked at the floor, sniffing back your tears.

“Baby…” He spoke quietly, approaching you and taking your face in his hands. “I’m sorry I ran out on you; I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself and I was being selfish.” He stroked your cold, wet cheeks, and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. “If you want to go through with the pregnancy then I’ll stand by you every step of the way, and if you don’t want to go through with it, then I’ll take you to the clinic and hold your hand.” You whimpered in his hold, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks and hitting his thumbs.

“Renjun, do you think we can raise a baby?” You looked up at him through wet eyelashes. He trailed his hands down your face, shoulders, arms, and finally taking your hands in his own. He let out a soft laugh and shrugged.

“Meh, it’s a piece of cake.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that, glancing down at your feet and shaking your head. Renjun had told you plenty of times how hard it was being a parent, and he had her a lot less than her mother did, so you could only imagine how hard it would be to have a baby with you 24/7. “Seriously baby, we can do it. It’s a challenge but it’s doable.” He sounded semi-confident and you bit your bottom lip, pondering over your choices before giving him a nod and staring up at him.

“I hope we have a girl.”

---

Renjun is 21 years old, and he feels like he’s holding the whole world in his hands. But he’s not, he’s holding his newborn daughter in his hands and not caring about the tears rolling down his cheeks. Huang Jihyo. She was a week old and already doing him proud, as she’d just unknowingly flipped him the bird when she was stretching her tiny fingers out. Renjun was so proud of her for her accidental rude gesture that he just burst into tears on the spot, glad no one was around to see him cry.

You were taking a nap, because being a new mother was exhausting, and Renjun offered to watch over Jihyo, mainly because she was asleep and had just been changed and fed, so she had no reason to wake up screaming at him. Since the two of you had found out that you were expecting another baby, you’d moved into your apartment across the hall from the boy’s apartment, just needing a little extra room. But of course Renjun and you still both had a key and you spent a lot of time in their apartment still. The person who was probably most excited about the new baby, was Jiyeon. As soon as you’d both told her that she was going to be a big sister, she had spent at least an hour rambling random things to your stomach as you sat on the couch with her head on your lap. She also liked to gently pat your bump and tell you all about how she was going to share her toys with her new sibling.

Renjun got up gently, holding Jihyo in his arms when there was a knock at the door. He answered the door and smiled widely at his two-year-old daughter stood by her mothers’ legs. He greeted his ex, making small talk and showing off his new baby like the proud father he was, then took Jiyeon’s backpack from her and bid her mother goodbye.

“My sister!” Jiyeon started to jump around by Renjun’s feet, a wide grin on her face and her shoes making loud tapping noises against the wood floor. Renjun stroked the back of her head, brushing down her fluffy hair at the back of her head with a fond smile on his face.

“Yes baby, she’s your little sister. Take your shoes off and you can have a cuddle with her.” He waited patiently whilst Jiyeon dropped onto the floor on her butt, making quick work at unstrapping her velcro shoes from her small feet. Once she was free of her shoes, she ran through to the living room ahead of her father, climbing onto the sofa and sitting comfortably against the cushion. Renjun followed her and sat down beside her, cradling Jihyo and smiling as he watched Jiyeon’s reaction.

“Wow…” Jiyeon whispered in awe, reaching out her hand and very gently stroking at the silky black hair on Jihyo’s head. “She’s cute!” She chirped and kept her eyes on the baby, her big eyes narrowing from how big her smile was.

“Do you want to have a cuddle with her?” Renjun asked in a soft voice.

“Yes please daddy!” She sat back on the sofa as Renjun grabbed a pillow, laying it across Jiyeon’s lap and making sure the pillow was propped up against the arm of the sofa for support.

“Okay, but you have to be very careful and not move too much okay Princess?” He gently laid Jihyo down on the pillow, making sure that one Jiyeon’s arm stayed under the pillow to help support the pillow, and the other arm laying over Jihyo’s legs. He set them like this so that Jiyeon felt like she was cuddling her baby sister.

“Okay!” She giggled as he looked between Jihyo and Renjun. “I love her so much.” She smiled cutely up at her dad, and Renjun felt the tears welling up in his eyes again as he looked at his two babies who he loved more than anything in the world. He couldn’t help but pull out his phone and snap a quick picture of them together, immediately setting it as his background.

“She loves you too, you’re going to be best friends as well as sisters, and you have to promise daddy to always be there when she needs you and to share your toys with her. But you also have to promise daddy never to gang up on him with her okay?” He added the last part purely so he could throw it back in her face in 10 years’ time if the two of them ganged up on him. She nodded eagerly and let out a cute laugh.

“I promise daddy.”

“Good girl.” He leaned in and gave her a tender kiss on her forehead, not regretting any of his choices in life as he watched his first baby lean down and give his last baby a kiss on her smooth cheek.

It was 6 months later when Minjun was born. When you’d asked Renjun if he was jealous that Jeno had a son when he didn’t, he quickly denied it. However that was a lie. Of course he was jealous! He was stuck with not one, but two daughters. And Jeno had a boy on his first attempt at making a life. It wasn’t that Renjun didn’t love his daughters to death because he did. But he loved the idea of a mini Renjun running around his feet. However he wasn’t planning to have any more kids, so he kissed the idea of a mini Renjun goodbye and laid that dream to rest. It was probably for the best that he didn’t have a mini Renjun, as big Renjun was, in your words, ‘a nightmare’.

You cooed down at the teeny tiny baby boy in your arms, his miniscule hand in between your thumb and your finger as you gazed at him under Jeno’s watchful eye. Everyone could already tell that Jeno was a complete papa bear with his son, and you thought it was adorable. Minjun was a lot smaller than Jihyo was at birth, because she was born late and was quite chunky, but Minjun was born early and had hardly any baby fat on him.

“You’re going to be such a handsome boy Minjunnie!” You cooed at him, glancing at Renjun who sat beside you with 6-month-old Jihyo nestled in his arms. You looked between the babies and then smiled widely. “You’re going to marry our Jihyo so that me and your mummy can be related!” If you could have taken a picture of the look of disgust and horrification on Renjun and Jeno’s faces, you’d have taken it in a heartbeat.

“I think the fuck not.” Renjun spluttered out in shock, giving you a scowl and visibly shudder. “I don’t want to be related to Jeno!”

“Fuck you, I don’t want to be related to you either.” Jeno frowned at him. You scoffed a laugh.

“Why? You’re best friends!” You couldn’t understand their logic, but you were used to things like this, so it didn’t come as a complete shock to you.

“Because we’re best friends and it’s weird to have our kids be together.” Jeno answered for Renjun, who nodded along in agreement. You had a feeling that the two of them had discussed this prior to you bringing it up. But you didn’t ask, just rolling your eyes and letting the subject go.

It was a week later than Renjun found out about Jaemin’s engagement to his girlfriend. He was shocked to say the least. He couldn’t quite believe that Jaemin had grown the balls and asked his girlfriend to marry him before he had plucked up the courage to ask you. But at the same time, he was excited for his best friend. He knew how much his girlfriend meant to him and how much Jaemin had been longing to get married and start a family. But he didn’t like what Jaemin’s decision was doing to his own impulse decisions.

“Jiyeonie, Uncle Jaemin is getting married.” He decided to break the news to her whilst she was clutching at his hand, toddling alongside him in the middle of the city. She had on a little backpack that Renjun had just bought for her, the tags still attached to the zipper, and she was wearing a new pair of light up shoes, her eyes constantly looked down towards the ground as the flashing amused her. Renjun loved to buy her new things, and whenever she asked him if she could wear the new things before they left the shop, the answer was always a yes. Her old shoes had been shoved into her new backpack just so that the toddler felt like she had a purpose for wearing her backpack.

“To a princess?” She glanced up from her flashing shoes and squinted under the sun as she stared up at her father with a curious expression on her face.

“To his princess!” Renjun smiled with twinkles in his eyes down at his daughter. When he glanced up, he noticed a jewellery store, and an impulsive decision crossed his mind that he couldn’t just seem to shake away. “Should daddy marry princess (Y/N)?” He wondered what the two-year-old would say, knowing she was getting really good with her words and at expressing her thoughts. Renjun had taught her

“Nope.” Jiyeon shook her head and went back to staring at her shoes, giving her foot a hard stomp on the floor once they stopped flashing. Renjun frowned and tilted his head, wondering why she wouldn’t want you and him to get married. She seemed to absolutely adore you, and when she’d found out what marriage was not too long ago when watching a Disney film, she’d immediately turned to you and asked you if you were married to her daddy. She seemed terribly upset when she found out that you weren’t married and had no plans to marry each other, so this came as a surprise to the young father.

“Why not?” He stopped walking, placing his hands underneath her armpits, and hoisting her up into his hold, sitting her on his hip and cuddling her close.

“Because you can’t marry a princess daddy, you’re not a prince.” Renjun’s face fell into a deadpanned expression. Clearly, she was still confused about this marriage situation, not only that, she just lowkey hurt her father’s feelings.

“You’re spending too much time with your Uncle Haechan.” He mumbled and then stopped as he got in front of the jewellery store. “You know, you haven’t got to be a prince to marry a princess, so do you think daddy should marry (Y/N)?” He asked again after giving her a little bit of persuasion. He wanted her to say yes, because if she continued to say no, he would definitely wait a little while longer until she said yes. Although she was only a toddler, he believed that his daughters opinions mattered, and he would never do something to upset her.

She pursed her lips as she thought it over, before shrugging and giving him a huge grin. “Yes!”

Renjun purchased an engagement ring, and he told Jiyeon not to say a word to anyone about it, but she was so excited, that when they got back to the apartment and Renjun took Jihyo to have a diaper change, she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

She told you that her daddy had bought a ring and told you to keep it a secret. Clearly, she had gotten her wires crossed, and hadn’t realised that you were the one person who shouldn’t find out about the ring. But you kept her secret and waited patiently for a proposal.

---

Renjun is 22 years old, and he feels the most horrid feeling in the pit of his stomach as he hangs up the phone call. A haze of disbelief, shock, and heartbreak float around his mind as he numbly walks into the bedroom where you sat, aimlessly staring at your phone, none the wiser to the news Renjun had just been lumbered with. Renjun took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself as he sat down beside you on the edge of the bed.

“Baby, I have something to tell you.” He laid his hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as he smiled softly at you. You furrowed your eyebrows, concern rushing through you as you took in his body language and facial expression.

“What’s going on?” You asked curiously, already adapting your own tone and mood to fit with his. He let out a soft sigh and rubbed his thumb against your leg as he broke the news to your that Jaemin’s fiancée had passed away after the two of them had gotten into a car accident. You felt your stomach drop through the floor, and tears blurred your vision almost immediately. He gave you more details about the accident, and included that she was brain dead, her body only kept alive by machines until Jaemin woke from his coma to give the doctors permission to take her off of life support. You felt your heart break. Not particularly for yourself, but for Jaemin, and her family. You knew how much she meant to Jaemin, and your sobbed harder after Renjun told you that they had gotten married in secret just before the accident. You couldn’t comprehend how the world was such a cruel place to take someone away from someone else on their wedding day.

Renjun held you to his chest as you cried, his hand rubbing up and down your back as a silent tear rolled down his cheek. He didn’t cry easily but seeing you in pieces over the loss of your close friend really affected him. He also put himself in Jaemin’s shoes and thought about how hard it would be on him if he lost you, or one of his daughters, and his heart broke even more for Jaemin. He was so close with the boys and their partners. They were the people that he considered his family and losing a member of the family was never easy on anyone.

Now all you and Renjun had to do was mourn for the loss of your family member and wait for Jaemin to wake up.

The funeral was tough on everyone.

You had made sure that morning to give Jihyo and extra kiss as you left her with your parents. Renjun had made the decision not to allow Jiyeon to go to the funeral, as she still didn’t fully understand what was happening and he didn’t want her to be around all of the emotional adults, knowing it was be distressing for her.

The two of you were child free as you entered your apartment. It was eerily silent but brought you a feeling of relief and peacefulness. You had found it hard to cope with the loss of your friend whilst parenting a baby, because you were so focused on Jihyo that you barely found the time to deal with your own feelings.

Renjun could see that your eyes were filling up with tears as you kicked your heels off and shrugged your coat off, just letting it all to the floor as you walked into the living room. Renjun sighed, picking up your coat and hanging it on the coat peg, before riding himself of his own coat and placing his shoes beside yours.

“Baby?” He called out as he followed you to the living room. You were sat on the sofa, staring at the turned off screen of the television with a blank gaze. He gave you a look of concern, his eyebrows pulling together and a muted smile on his lips. Sitting himself next to you, he pulled you close to him, giving you a tight hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Are you okay?” You took a deep breath and simply nodded. “You can cry. I know that you’re holding it back (Y/N).” He held your head against his chest, stroking your cheek with his thumb and holding you tighter against himself when he felt a tear hit his thumb.

“It’s not fair.” You let out a sob, your chest convulsing as you whimpered in the arms of your love. “They were so in love Renjun! They had just gotten married and then she dies because of some fucking idiot in a car!” You relaxed in his hold, finding his touch comforting to you.

“I know honey.” He spoke gently, his lips once against pressing to your forehead. You cried in his arms for another five minutes, before you gulped down the lump in your throat and pulled away from Renjun’s chest. You looked him in the eyes and leaned forward, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I want another baby.” Renjun’s body stiffened and his eyes widened in shock.

“No.” He straight up shot you down, shaking his head fast from his dedication to his answer. You frowned and tilted your head, hurt that he just shot you down so fast without even considering it.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re just taking with your emotions! You’re upset that they didn’t have a baby before she died so you’re trying to make up for your guilt by having another baby!” Renjun had hit the nail right on the head. You did feel guilty, and your emotions and hormones were flying around so much that you were convinced you wanted another baby. But in that moment, you didn’t see it that way.

“You don’t even want another baby with me! Just admit it!” You started to cry again, and you stood up, staring at Renjun with a frown on your face. “You’re probably going to get bored of me and leave me anyway a-and then have a baby with another woman in a few months’ time!” Renjun rolled his eyes and he let out a sigh, deciding just to let you vent at him. He knew that you were too overcome by your emotions that you weren’t thinking straight, so he didn’t blame you. “You don’t even love me! You bought an engagement ring ages ago, but you still haven’t proposed to me!” Renjun’s eyes nearly popped out of his head from how shocked he was.

“How did you know that I bought a ring?” He squeaked out, sitting up and feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

“Jiyeon told me.” You muttered and started to calm down, crossing your arms across your chest and crying silently. Renjun groaned and sighed. He stood up and hurried to pull you into an embrace.

“Listen, I didn’t propose to you because Jaemin had just proposed to his girlfriend and I didn’t want to steal the limelight from him. Then his wife died, and I can’t propose to you for a while now because that’s insensitive. I love you so fucking much, and it hurts me that you would think otherwise. I want to marry you, I do. Just give it some time.” He took your face in his hands and tilted your face to look at his. “I…I don’t know if I’m ever going to want another baby. I may change my mind one day, but we’ve only just had Jihyo. I’m 22 years old and I have two kids, this is a lot for someone my age. Most men my age aren’t doing what I’m doing, this is a big struggle for me. I hope you understand.” He placed a soft kiss to your lips and sighed gently. “I love you.”

You felt awful for everything you’d said in your mini meltdown. You were so thankful that Renjun had his head screwed on properly and had enough common sense for the both of you in that moment. “I’m so sorry, I love you too.” You rested your face in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing him tightly.

Renjun smiled softly, holding you tight against him as he processed his thoughts, relieved he didn’t get sucked into having another baby.

---

Renjun is 25 years old, and the wedding ring sits heavy on his ring fingers almost heavier than the newborn baby boy in his arms. Huang Jinhyung had been born a week ago, a day before your first wedding anniversary. Obviously because of the arrival of your baby, neither of you had been able to celebrate your first anniversary, but neither of you minded. Jinhyung was the best present you could have received. He was tiny, as he was born a few weeks early, but he was healthy and had a head full of black hair. Renjun was absolutely enamoured by his son, and even though he would have been just as happy to have had a baby girl, he finally had the son he had been wanting since he found out his ex was pregnant with Jiyeon. Jinhyung had been planned. After you got married, Renjun had told you that he wanted another baby much to your surprise. It didn’t take long for you to get pregnant at all, but that wasn’t a surprise to you as you knew Renjun had supersonic sperm. Another thing significant that had happened after your wedding, was Renjun gave up his life of crime. He got a normal 9-5 job working at Haechan’s uncles’ garage, fixing up cars and legally selling them. He was lucky enough to be given flexible work hours too, so he could equally spread his time between his job and his family. Money wasn’t a big issue for you though, as you had a part time job working at the local bank every Thursday and Friday when Renjun wasn’t at work, and Renjun had saved up a lot of money during his days of illegal activity.

“I know I’ve said this before but, this is the last baby.” Renjun broke the silence between you both as you watched the tv with Jihyo sat in between you both. Jiyeon was at her mothers but she had already met Jinhyung and had fallen in love with him, over the moon to have a baby brother. Jihyo was also excited about having a baby brother, and Renjun had caught her stroking his hair and putting her teddy bears on him when he was asleep in his crib.

“I’m happy with three.” You smiled at him, adoring the way he was with his son. You saw Jiyeon as your own daughter, and always referred to her as your own when speaking about her to other people.

“I mean it this time. I am declaring Jinhyung as my last spawn.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, rolling your eyes and nodding your head.

“Okay, he can be our last.”

“I never even thought I’d have one child, and now I have three. Sometimes I’m just stunned at how my life turned out, but…like…” He struggled to put into words the thoughts that were going through his head. “In a good way kind of stunned you know?” He raised an eyebrow, unsure if his words made sense to you because they didn’t make much sense to himself. You giggled and bit your bottom lip, nodding slowly as you knew exactly what Renjun was babbling on about. He often expressed his love for how his life turned out in the smallest of ways, but it all added up to you, making a big picture that you could stare at all day long. It was in the little glances you saw him making at his daughters as they built lego castles, and in the way he’d gasp in surprise whenever Jihyo presented him with an messy picture she’d drawn, like it was the most amazing piece of artwork he’d ever seen. He was an amazing father, even if he didn’t see it all the time, but you were used to Renjun self-deprecation.

You just wished that he could see the man that you saw whenever you looked at him.  

---

Renjun is 29 years old. He felt like he was going through a midlife crisis, and he’d been spouting about how old he felt. All because his first-born baby had turned 10 years old. Jiyeon had grown up to be a smart, funny, caring, and witty girl. She never failed to make Renjun proud whenever she’d presented him with a certificate she’d achieved at school for her excellent work or for her caring personality. He was a proud father. Not that his other kids weren’t smart, but Jihyo had a tendency to tell lies or blame things on her brother. Like the time she’d spilt her juice on the new white carpet and had blamed it on Jinhyung. It was a week later that the truth came out and Renjun had to be the bad guy and take her Nintendo switch away from her for a week as a punishment. Renjun didn’t have a problem with Jinhyung, he was a little prince. But he did wish that he’d stop wetting the bed so much. Baby steps.

“Dad…” Renjun looked up from his phone, in the middle of texting Haechan about their weekend plans, to see Jiyeon standing in front of him. Her hands behind her back and a small smile playing on her lips.

“Yes honey?” He immediately put his phone down, giving her his full attention. She took a deep breath and hesitated. It took her another five seconds to pluck up the courage before she spoke.

“Can I live with you?” Her voice came out fast, with a slight waver to her tone from the nerves she felt flooding through her system. It wasn’t a big deal, but she was so desperate for him to say yes, that she felt an unfamiliar bubble of worry in her stomach. Renjun’s eyebrows furrowed, and he sat forward, setting his arms on his legs as he studied her.

“Why do you want to live here honey?” He reached a hand-out, taking hers in his own. His tattooed hand would look big and intimidating to most 10-year-olds, but the little girl stood in front of him trusted him with her whole life.

“Because I want to be with my family more.” Her words didn’t sit right with Renjun. It made him wonder why she didn’t consider her mother and stepfather as her family. Maybe he was reading too much into this, but he knew he had to dig deeper and find out the reason.

“Hmm…” He gave her a weak smile as he went over his thoughts in his head. “Why don’t you want to continue living at your mums though? Did something happen?” At Renjun’s question Jiyeon’s face turned into one of surprise, and she quickly shook her head.

“No! I just don’t have any siblings at mums, and I get super bored because she works a lot.” She shrugged and moved to sit beside her father. Renjun pursed his lips, weighing up his options. He came to a conclusion and gave her a sad smile.

“Mummy would miss you a lot though, how about I speak with her and arrange it so that you can stay here for a bit longer when it’s my turn to have you? You’re only 10 princess.” At this her face fell a little, but she quickly faked a smile and nodded in understanding. Renjun made another decision quickly and spoke before he’d had any time to really think it over. “How about when you turn 13, if you still want to live her permanently then you can okay? No questions asked, you can just move in and see your mum when you want. Deal?” He smiled as he looked down at his child, her face slowly lighting up at her father’s proposal. She stuck her hand out to him with a grin on her face.

“Deal.” He glanced down at her small hand, and with a chuckle he took her hand in his own, shaking it gently.

---

Renjun is 32 years old. And he never wanted to experience this. He’d always hoped that when the time came, you’d be around, or Jiyeon would be at her mothers. But there he sat, on the sofa with Jiyeon curled up against his side, tear tracks down her cheeks and a hot water bottle huddled against her stomach. Yes, she’d started her period. And now that Jiyeon officially lived under Renjun’s roof, he had to be the one to deal with it. He was stroking her hair, twirling the dark strands around his finger and hoping he did the right thing by providing her with her with the right products, and by making her a hot water bottle to try and soothe the burning ache of pains she was feeling. On his other side, cuddled up to him just like his sister, was Jinhyung. His left arm was in a cast, due to how he’d thrown himself down the stairs, trying to imitate how buzz lightyear tried to fly in toy story. Renjun was scared, because his son was showing a lot of signs of having his own personality. Jinhyung was 7 years old, and already a mini Renjun. Of course, Jihyo had egged him on. Why wouldn’t she? She thought it was hilarious watching her little brother yeet himself down the staircase after shouting ‘to infinity and beyond’.

That was a week ago, and Jinhyung was thriving, because you were treating him like he had a life-threatening injury. Constantly bringing him snacks, letting him have soda more than once a day, and giving him all the cuddles he could possibly want. Which you were grateful for, as you knew most boys stopped being cuddly with their mothers after they hit their teen years, so you were happily cashing in on your son’s clinginess. Jihyo still sniggered when she thought about the incident, and Renjun couldn’t help but laugh along with her instead of scolding her. Which often lead to you scolding him, but he struggled to contain his laughter when his mischievous daughter was laughing.

Jihyo was sat on the floor in front of them, drawing a picture of a flower in beautiful detail. She loved art, and when she’d told her father about her newfound hobby, he’d immediately taken her to the nearest arts and crafts store to buy her all the supplies she needed to feed her newfound skill.

Renjun couldn’t lie. He loved the peace and quiet of the room as they watched the third Jurassic park film, all the kids’ content and calm. But in typical fashion, it was Jihyo who interrupted the silence.

“Mums home!” She had heard your car pull up in the driveway, and she turned her head to the door as you quietly entered. You kicked your shoes off and smiled as you walked into the room, seeing your husband and babies all snuggled up and calm. Renjun turned his head to the door and gave you a beaming smile.

“Hey baby.” He greeted, gently removing his arms from around Jiyeon and Jinhyung so that he could push himself off the sofa. He walked over to you, taking your hand in his own and gently guiding you to the kitchen, out of earshot of the children.

“What’s up Renjunnie?” You shrugged your coat off, laying it on the chair of the dining table and giving Renjun a soft smile. He loved that even after all these years, you still called him Renjunnie, the little butterflies in his stomach always flapped their wings at the sound of the nickname.

“Jiyeon started her period. I gave her one of your pads and a hot water bottle…did I do it right?” The look of concern on his face made your heart melt, and a small giggle to leave your mouth. You nodded quickly to ease his worries, leading him to let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god, I didn’t know what to do so I googled it but I was kind of in a hurry so I didn’t read it properly and-“ You cut off his babbling by connecting your lips with his own. He visibly relaxed, his eyes drifting to a close and his hands finding purchase on your hips. A kiss form you could always relieve his stress, and it was working wonders for him now.

“You did great.” You whispered against his lips after you drew them back a few centimetres from his own.

“Thank you.” He took your compliment and wore it like an invisible badge on his chest, a big smile taking over his lips.

“I love you.” Your words echoed in his head, sending a thrill of excitement through his body, and making his heart rate speed up.

“I love you too.” He smiled as he kissed you, the curve of his lips pressed to yours made you also break out into a smile.

“Oh! I have something to tell you! I-”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” His face was one of concern as he cut you off. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and shook your head.

“No! I got a coupon for money off pizza…”

Renjun sighed in relief.

---

Well, this is it for Renjun’s story. I hope you enjoyed it and I want to thank you so much if you made it this far! I appreciate every single one of you. ❤

[jawritter]

Your Better Half

Request: Jensen Ackles x Sick!Reader

Warning: Some swearing, fluff, tinny bit of angst, doctor and medical realted stuff, fear of needles. That’s about it I think.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Sick!Reader

Word Count: 2050

Want more? Check out my masterlist!

******MASTERLIST******

Hit by a moving bus, after being dropped from an airplane, then thrown into a frozen lake, after having every joint in your body unhinged. That's what you felt like when you rolled out of bed this morning. You barely made it to the bathroom and back to the bed without nearly passing out. You had a high fever, that much you knew, and your stomach felt... Off... Not quite nauseated, but definitely on the verge of it. 

Your head was pounding like it had been split open. You had a cold chill even though you were sweating, and your whole body seemed to ach deep down in your bones. You knew that your husband would be awake any minute, but you just couldn't even get yourself together to drag yourself to the coffee pot. 

When you crawled into bed again Jensen stretched in his sleep and rolled himself over to face. Blinking sleepily at you as his mossy green eyes focused on you.

"Morning." He mumbled. Giving you a weak smile. Still not quite awake.

"Morning." You said, your voice sounding like you had attempted to swallow glass, and burning with every syllable. 

Jensen's eyes shot open immediately. Sitting up he started to look you over, putting his hand on your forehead, checking you for a fever. 

"Sweetheart your burning up!" He said. Ripping the thick comforter from your body, leaving just the sheet. You whined in protest, but he was already on his feet. Fetching a glass of water and a few Ibuprofen for your. 

You took the pills and attempted to swallow as much of the water as you could, but it just didn't want to go down smooth. Sending you into a coughing fit that made your chest burn as well as your throat. Jensen sat there staring at you wide eyed. You could tell he was on the verge of panic. 

Jensen was a natural worrier, he almost had a little bit of superman syndrome. Like he could save, protect, and do anything, and those things that were out of his control. Like sickness. It made him worry. Especially when it comes to you.

"Y/n we need to go to the hospital." Jensen said. Getting up and digging a pair of your yoga pants and a T-Shirt out of your shared dresser drawer. Throwing them on the bed at you. "Don't make me dress you and throw you over my shoulder to carry you out of her, because you know I'll do it." He threatened. Eyes narrowed and arms crossed. Watching you closely. 

You knew he'd do it, so even though you'd rather die than go to the doctor you dressed yourself as best  as you could. Not even really bothering to brush your hair. Just throwing it into a messy bun. 

You looked horrible, but you felt horrible. So you didn't care too much.

"Jensen there really isn't a point in going to the doctor. It's just a cold, I'll be fine." You complained as he grabbed you by the hand and hurriedly drug you out to the car. He didn't speak until you were seated in the car, and he was backing it down the driveway.

"Your sick y/n, you need to go to the doctor so they can check you. What if you have pneumonia or something." He said. His voice was tense, and you knew he was overreacting. Even if it didn't always show visibly on Jensen. He was worried.

"Jensen what if they want to hook me up to an IV or give me a shot, you know how I feel about needles." You protested. Your insides starting to shake, and you couldn't tell if it was the fever or fear. You really had always hated needles, even though your ears, belly button, and  nose and a piercing, and you had a few small tattoos. Something about a doctor and a needle scared the hell out of you. 

"Then I'll be right there to hold you." Jensen said, his eyes softening a little when he looked at you this time before diverting his eyes back to the road. He knew how much you hated needles, shots, and doctors.

------------------------------

After what felt like an eternity in the waiting area with at least a hundred other people who looked just as bad as you probably did and felt. They called you back and took your information. You sat there on the crinkly paper in a cold sterilized room Jensen sitting next to you, one of his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

He never left your side. Through the paperwork, through the blood pressure checks, through the temperature checks, through the chest x-rays. He was right next to you like he promised he'd be. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the doctor to come back in with his diagnosis. 

"Jay this is ridiculous. I want to go home." You tell him. Burning your face into his shoulder. Wanting nothing more than to disappear from this horrible place before the doctor returned to do god knows what to you.

"It's all gonna be fine, they will give you some meds to help you feel better. Then we can go home, watch shit TV, and cuddle until you feel better." He promised. The thought of spending the rest of the day wrapped up with Jensen in your warm bed didn't sound half bad at all, but it wasn't enough to keep your mind from worrying that they were going to come in with a shot of some sort. 

Before you could get a word out the doctor came into the room. Looking over a chart. A nurse with him. 

"Okay Mrs. Ackles. It looks like you have the influenza type A. So we're going to give you some Tamiflu to help with that, you also have a pretty high fever. So you will need to alternate tylenol and motrin every three hours. When it comes to fever it's best to stay on top of it before it gets bad. Makes it easier to control. Stay in bed, no physical activities for at least a week." The doctor cleared his throat and closed your chart. 

"Now lastly we're going to give you a steroid shot to try and stave off any pneumonia that might try to develop. If you start coughing more, feeling short of breath, or your chest starts to feel tight or too heavy, come back in. We may have to do it again. I've seen us have to do it as many as once a day for three days for some people That's not the case for everyone though, so don't think that you have to come in every three days. Once may be enough." He said. His nurse prepping your upper arm already as he was talking. Getting ready to stab you with the shot. 

"Jensen..." You said. Tears already starting to make their way down your checks.

Jensen pulled your head tight to his shoulder, and held on to you as tight as he could. Almost crushing you. "Look sweetheart, just look at me. It will be quick." He said, tilting your chin up to look at him. 

You had never wanted to die so much in your entire life, If you had to do this for three days, this very well might kill you.

---------------------------------

Once you had gotten your prescription form the pharmacy, and were back home Jensen tucked you into bed. Insisting you take a nap while he prepares lunch. Tried to tell him you'd rather just cuddle with him, but insisted. 

When he brought the lunch into you, you hadn't been able to doze off at all. Everything was just cold and uncomfortable. The steroid shot was probably working on you too, so you were miserable, and wide awake.

You didn't realize how sick your stomach was unil Jensen entered the room with the chicken noodle soup in a bowl on the tray though. You turned your head away from the assaulting smell as Jensen sat the tray down next to you on the bed.

"Baby you need to eat something. You haven't eaten all day." He said, watching you turn away from the food he'd sat down in front of you. 

"I'm not hungry you mumbled." Pulling the covers over your head. Refusing to look at him.

"Y/n..." Jensen's voice warned, but you continued to ignore him.

"You know if you don't eat you will have to go back to the hospital and you will probably have more problems than just a shot." Jensen threatened and you gave him your best bitch fact. 

"I'm sorry Jay, but I don't feel like eating. My stomach feels off, and if I eat it's probably just gonna come right back up." You protest. Jensen ran his hand down his face harshly.

"Y/N YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET BETTER IF YOU DON'T EAT, NOW STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD AND AT LEAST EAT A LITTLE BIT OF THIS FOOD!!!" 

Jensen rarely ever yelled at you, you sat there for a moment eyes wide. Trying to not cry. Knew you could be difficult when you were sick, you were never the easiest patient, but you didn't know he thought you were acting like a child.

Rolling your sore body into a sitting position you tired to not cry as you picked up the tray of soup. Moving the spoon around the bowl. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife as Jensen watched every move you made. 

Finally he sighed and took the bowl from you. Setting it on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. Chewing on his lower lip. 

"I'm sorry. You don't feel well and I shouldn't have yelled at you. We will try the food again later after you've rested some more. I'm just worried about you and wanted to get you feeling better as quickly as I could." Jensen said, moving closer to you and wrapping his strong arms around your body. Holding you close to him and nuzzling his face into your neck.

"I'm sorry Jay, I shouldn't have been acting like a child. I know I'm not the easiest patient in the world to take care of, and I know you're just trying to take care of me. I'll try not to be so difficult." You muttered, and Jensen laid the two of you down, picking up the controller and turning something random on netflix. 

"I love you baby girl. I just want to see you feeling better again. I don't mean to be pushy and mean, you know I just worry. Now let's lay here and watch Netflix until we go to sleep. I won't push you again. I won't yell at you anymore either. You just tell me what you need, and I'll do my best to make you feel better, and take care of you okay?" Jensen asked. His eyes softened as he looked at you. The lines showing around his eyes more than they usually did. Telling you that he was just as tired as you were.

"I love you to Jay." You tell him as he gives you a peck on the forehead before tucking the covers around you tighter. Lacing his fingers with yours. Letting you snuggle back into his warmth as sleep finally started to take you. They said it could take up to a week before you started to feel better. This was going to be a long week. 

You were thankful thought that even if he had to take you back once a day for three day, put up with you being grumpy and emotional like you tended to do when you got sick, or even just laid there being completely boring because it was all you could get your body to do just stare at the TV, you knew there was no place he'd rather be than right here. His arms wrapped around you. Holding you close. 

Because even before you were sick he never ceased to tell you how much he loved you. How much he appreciated you, and how he'd always be there. 

Jensen didn't take the vows he took on your wedding day light. When they said in sickness and in health he meant every word, and you didn't know what in the world you would do without your better half.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​

[ladyideal]

Get Well Soon

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Word Count: 1829

Summary: You help a colony pack up from a planet, and caught a rather nasty bug on the way back. After nearly two weeks, a cure was finally found. A particular doctor became rather reluctant in giving you it, as there were side effects that could be rather life threatening.

A/N: First off, I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. Not entirely sure what I was trying to write. Was trying to get as close to the symptoms of the coronavirus, and ended up adding some of my own. Stay safe everyone, and remember to WASH YOUR HANDS. :) 

(gif wouldn’t load. Credit to @discoveringenterprise​, who’s taking up requests!)

“Sweetheart, you’re burning up,” Leonard mentioned, placing the back of his hand against your forehead. You had try to dodged away, but he was too fast. “You’re showing the same symptoms as the others.”

“I just need sleep, Len,” You argued. “’m not sick.”

The Enterprise was ordered to evacuate a Federation colony immediately. Planet 52XX was promising for some time, until the larger than life hurricane was spotted a year or two after the first settlement. Yet, the colony held out until the very last minute. With the hurricane larger than Jupiter’s own and encroaching onto the colony within two days did the Federation finally called it quits.

The planet was slightly more arid than the climate on the ship. In response, the lower decks were cleaned, and the second, more smaller Medbay was stocked ready for the colony members to come through for increase fluids. Temperature was raised, and the humidity was lowered to copy the planet’s climate. Steadily, they would be acclimated to the rest of the ship. 

Other than that, the colony were thin, but healthy.

As Captain, you and two teams were beamed down to the surface of the planet to help with the evacuation. Well, it was mostly you and one team speaking with the adults, and the other team herding the kids towards the shuttle. In just the five or six hours needed to get everyone on shuttles, a thunderstorm passed through, soaking literally everyone within its vicinity.

Everything went seamlessly. Life aboard the ship continued. 

Three day passed before the two members of the two landing teams was found unconscious, and immediately quarantined within hours after being brought down to the Medbay. Then another the next day, and another. Within five days after the original evacuation, everyone that was involved in the landing party were isolated. 

Len had messaged you the notice earlier, but you’d ignored it for the most part. Being friends with him since the Academy, and dating for a solid two years now, you’d learned to never question him on his medical expertise. However, you had other plans. Command was hailing you every other hour, demanding for reports on the status of their failed colony.

Your boyfriend observed you in concern, as you played around with the peas on your plate. “Then you wouldn’t mind coming to medbay with me, so I can take a look.”

“It’s just a waste of time, Len,” You insisted anyways. “It’s just a low fever and a slight cough.”

Leonard raised an eyebrow. “Humor me.”

You sighed, reluctantly chasing after the offending peas with a spoon and eating them. “Let’s go, I guess.”

It didn’t take long for Len to settle you in an isolation room. One hour being quarantined, and finally away from work, your exhaustion returned in full force, sending you into bouts of coughs and the beginnings of a rather nasty pneumonia. Your boyfriend gently brushed away an errant hair, affectionately tucking it in behind your ear.

“Get some sleep, Y/N.”

In a day, your health spiraled out of control. Your fever soared into the dangerous zone, and the pneumonia worsened, puzzling all the doctors on board. The colony members were fortunate enough to not have encountered any significant diseases, and none ever had any symptoms like you did. It was just a brief mission; get them ready, and back up the ship. There was minimal contact with them, and yet both landing parties were afflicted with a life threatening disease.

Your joints ached, and you felt as if every inch of your body was on fire. It was becoming a fight for your life. Even Chris’s gentle touch as she cooled your forehead with a cool washcloth was too much for your senses to take. The medication dripped steadily from the IV was helping, but it was going to be a long recovery ahead. 

“Leonard,” You whimpered weakly.

Christine sadly shushed you, humming tunelessly in an attempt to soothe you. She glanced over her shoulder in time to see Jim join your boyfriend, standing outside the isolation room. 

“Still nothing?” The blonde spoke. 

The CMO crossed his arms across his chest, but shook his head. His face was expressionless, but Jim knew better. He knew having you in the isolation room and severely ill was taking a toll on the doctor. There was a significant weight on him to take care of you, and all he felt was a failure in keeping you safe. 

“It doesn’t look good,” Leonard paused, briefly glancing up at the monitor that displayed the numbers to your vitals. “We’re doing all we can for her.”

“She’s a fighter,” Jim assured his best friend. “She’ll pull through it.”

The doctor was silent for a minute, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t lose her, Jim. I can’t.”

“And you won’t, Bones. She’s got you. She’ll be okay.”

A week and a half went by before any good news came around. The fever had loosened its grasps on you, but you were still warm, and everything absolutely ached. It was selfish you knew to keep your boyfriend by your sides at all times, especially since he still had other patients to take care of. So as much as your soul ached for the skin to skin contact, you kept quiet. Leonard, on the other hand, did his best to stay with you as long as he could. He would catch you up on the recent ship’s gossip, how Joanna was, and how Jim and the rest of the Bridge had sent you Get Well messages. 

Today was no different.

You were curled up on your side, mindful of all the monitor leads and IV tethers. Resting your eyes, you didn’t realize a presence beside your bed until the figure heaved out a heavy sigh. Despite the cannula nestled in your nose delivering a steady stream of pure oxygen, it was still hard to breathe.

“Len?” You croaked, cracking your eyes open. 

Your boyfriend met your gaze. Even though he’d donned on his protective gear, you could still see his red rimmed eyes, and the dark circles beneath them. Almost instinctively, you reached out for him, only for him to grasp your hand in his gloved ones. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” He sounded strained, even to himself.

“You look awful, love,” You admonished gently, rubbing little circles on his hand in a futile attempt to get him to relax. “I’ll have you know that your office isn’t a place for you to sleep in.”

Leonard didn’t answer immediately, dropping his gaze to the vial rolling in his free hand. Curiously, you followed his attention too. With the joke falling flat, you figured out that he was wound up and too serious. All business, and no fun. 

“What’s that?”

“A cure,” Your doctor flatly replied. 

You brightened up at his words, but frowned since he wasn’t feeling the same. For now, you reserved judgement.

“Then?” You propped yourself up on an elbow. 

Leonard sighed again, making a show of reaching the hypospray and loading the blue tinged liquid vial into it. Once he readied it, he caught your gaze again. This time, instead of happiness, there was apology swirling within his eyes.

“Science pulled through late last night. There’s a lot of side effects to this. Nausea, headaches, chills, and a significant chance of having seizures. In your current state, I’m not sure if we can pull you back from that.”

Your frown deepened.

“But if I take it, I’ll have a chance, right?”

“Yes, darlin’.”

“Then let’s do it,” You watched as your boyfriend got to his feet, and paced in front of your bed. “I already feel worse then I did before I went to nap earlier.”

“Sweetheart, please. You’ve still got a fighting chance with all the immunity boosters we’ve given,”  He cursed afterwards, shaking his head.

“Len,” You spoke after a pause. “C’mere.”

Your boyfriend obediently shuffled back towards your bed, and sat back down on his stool. Reaching out for his hand, you kept your gaze on him and pouted.

“Please?”

He looked like he was going to argue, but thought better of it and stripped one of his gloves off. You spent the next few minutes reveling at the skin to skin contact, and briefly closed your eyes. It was awhile before you spoke again.

“I know you’re not ready to let me go, and I-I-I don’t want to either. But this is my one and only chance to stay with you, Len. I don’t want to go anywhere, but be by your side,” You breathed out, rubbing tiny circles with your thumb on the back of his hand. “I know the risks, love. This is me giving you my informed consent to go ahead, to give me a fighting chance.”

Leonard continued shaking his head. 

You caught his gaze, observing the swirl of anger, desperation, sorrow, apologetic, and most of all, love in his. Gently squeezing his hand, you smiled slightly. The muscles in his neck were strained, and the way his hands clenched and unclenched, as though they were itching to do anything, was a sign of his desperation.

“For us.”

“Y/N, you’re the captain of this goddamn ship. What if-?”

“Leonard, listen to me,” You interrupted. “There is a long list of what ifs that could happen. We won’t be getting anywhere if we start into those questions. However the fact still remains that giving me that is the only logical choice.”

“Logical?” The doctor rounded on you again. “Sweetheart, please don’t tell me that Spock’s been giving you lessons.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “Len, it’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

For the first in a long time, you could see the hurt and the fear flicker across his face. The entire time you were severely sick, he was careful in not worrying you for as much as he could. Rounding towards your bed again, he made a show in readying the hypo and priming it. 

Gently, he splayed a hand across the column of your throat, and glanced back at you. You nodded your consent one last time, as though you would have changed your mind in just a short amount of time. There was a slight fear, but you were ready to fully fight off this damn disease and get back into Leonard’s arms once more. 

Without much flair, he pressed the hypo to your neck, and injected the slightly blue substance. Tossing it aside when done, your boyfriend sat back down on his stool, head in his hands. 

“One hour,” He declared, voice muffled by his hands. “If you’re not having any seizures, we can talk about bringing you out to the main wing soon.”

You settled back against the biobed, and waited alongside him. 

Star Trek Tags: @mournthewicked​ Join the taglist!

[bluebellhairpin]

Marvel Headcanons - Road Trips

A/N: I’m a horrible person. But at least my procrastination of my asks is being for-filled in a way that still sprouts content. - Nemo

Summary: The Avengers and their S/O go on a road trip. Gods? Mutants? Aliens? with them, what could go wrong? 

Masterlist  

Loki Laufeyson

Bruh. You go on a road-trip with this guy and you’re gonna really wish you d i d n ‘ t. 

Tricks. So many tricks. This guy can’t drive a car, he has nothing to do except play tricks. Look At That Face, no remorse, no mercy. You gotta be strong af to survive a trip like this with Loki. 

bUt he does buy you all the food. And all the stuff you like. In mass amounts. (“(y/n), you said you liked this sweet packet stuff right? Ah, good. I brought five boxes so we don’t run out.” ) Like five whole boxes

So what’s it gonna be? Trickery for food? Yay or nay? Yay, definitely yay. 

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

You will not sleep. Y’all get too hyped up of junk food and adrenaline to sleep for more then half an hour at a time so POWER NAPS ALL THE WAY THERE AND BACK

He video’s everything. He says it’s to show May and Tony when you get back but we all know the truth. Its so he can get one of those cool old-style videos of you No shame that boy has.

He lets you pick all the music, as long as it’s not AC/DC because he had an experience with Tony that involved ‘Thunderstruck’, hacking and his suits earpieces that lasted a over a week that we s h a l l n o t  s p e a k o f e v e r

But overall it’s a really cute trip. So cliche. So romantic. So amazing.

Tony Stark/Iron Man

Loves every second because it’s with you and after everything he’s been through that is all he needs and wants.

He has playlists, cars, hotel reservations, restaurant reservations, food stops, food stashes, sights to see. All these things are ready before you even suggested getting away for a couple days. 

Turns into a sappy, flirty mess. It’s almost like the trip turned back time to when you both first met and the only problem he had was making a new missile to sell to some place in Afghanistan.

He’s just so ready for a break, low and behold please give i t t o H i m

Steve Rogers/Captain America

Road-trips with Steve are done on the back of his motorbike and you can fight me on this. Mostly because he likes it when you wrap your arms around his torso so yeah fight me again.

Despite the trip being a road trip you both spend a lot of time at stops and motels instead of on the road. He likes taking things slow, since he hasn’t gotten to do things slowly for over four years after he woke up. He’s very grateful if you let him do this.

He lets you take lots of photo’s of him whether you’re good at it or not doesn't bother him. Even frames one you took of his silhouette because it looks that good to him. 

 Becomes addicted to cocktails after the second road trip because “they’re so colourful and come in so many flavours, (y/n) have you tried this blue one yet? Look they have one named after me-” 

Thor Odinson

He gets so hyped and excited. 

He really loves travelling and learning about earth more like you teaching him about earth stuff so he’s so optimistic about the whole trip and that attitude rubs off on you so you end up coming home all happy too.

He brings lollies/sweets/candy with you and lemme say you are bouncing off the walls the whole damn time. One time he got so hyped on sugar he almost summoned lighting. 

You take Loki sometimes. He pretends he doesn't like it, but he does. He thought we wouldn’t notice but we did. So Loki ends up being the ‘bored’ third wheel while you and Thor stuff your faces with sour worms, chocolate, and gobstoppers.  

Bruce Banner/Hulk

He’s gets so soft, and that makes you soft, and then you come back and your combined softness makes everyone else so very soft.

He worries about Hulk coming out and ruining the trip and the car but you constantly tell him and reassure him that it’s fine and you’ve managed to hone the ability to calm Hulk down when things get out of hand.

Needless to say he relaxes almost completely and w o w you didn’t know he sung that well.

And damn when you come back he’s like a changed man. Shyness? Almost gone. Reluctance to join conversations? Hell N a h. He almost becomes Tony 2.0 but only around you because “No one will believe you (y/n)”

Clint Barton/Hawkeye/Ronin

Clint almost l i v e s for road trips with you. I say almost because he lives for you.

You hunt down carnivals so he can win you all the prizes. The others aren't even surprised when you come back with a carload at stuffed toys anymore.

You also stop at a number of piers and sit at the end with fish and chips and some beer and just talk. Life. The future. The past. That one slice of pizza that tasted better than any others you've ever eaten in your entire lives.

You guys just do so much stuff. And its all so wholesome and pure and s o f t. 

Peter Quill/Star Lord

Did someone say road trip? Peter has all the tunes.

So much as touch the radio/speakers without his knowledge and you're preparing yourself to (possibly) walk home. He doesn't care if you're the other side of the country. You will walk.

He's a sucker for staying up and stargazing with you. He'll point out all the planets he's been to, and all the ones he wants to take you to later.

While Stargazing, be prepaid to have him jump up and pull you to him if a 'dancing song' comes on. That can range from the 'Livin La Vida Loca' to 'All of Me’. It's amazing. 

Scott Lang/Ant-Man

He's a dad. He knows how to keep others and himself  entertained on long trips.

Magic tricks. Snacks. Music. Jokes. Everything and anything you can think of to pass time, he's got it ready and waiting.

Sometimes he takes Cassy with you, and honesty things become more fun (if that's at all possible). Which means, for you, more food, music from your childhood, and embarrassing stories about Scott that Cass had managed to get hold of.

Overall it’s pretty cute going on road trips with Scott, that and it’s never ever boring. 

T’Challa/Black Panther

He’s a king, and a very busy one at that. So when you manage to pull him away from his duties he treats you extremely well. 

First he takes you to a certain county (Once it was Singapore (that was a very luxurious trip), another time Hawaii, etc), then he gets a hire car and takes you wherever else you’d like go.

Every time, every trip, he finds a Starbucks. He collects the cups and brings them back to Okoye. He does it to spite her. You know it.

He gets much more relaxed on the trips, and always comes back being able to deal with his duties much better.

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier

Wow okay first off, Bucky loves road trips with you. 

He manages to persuade Tony to lean him one of his fancy older cars and takes you along the coast in that. He’s a coast road trip type of guy.

He really loves the beach, the only thing that gets in his way is the sand and salty water getting in the joints of his arm, but he says he can “just take it off, don’t worry darlin’.” so yeah it’s r e a l l y not a problem. 

If he can't get a hold of one of Tony’s old cars, he gets an old pickup truck/ute and camps outside on the back with you and watches the stars and has old 30′s/40′s music playing from the radio. It’s pretty cute. Like him. 

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler

Mate. This guy has no idea what he's doing. 

Once he tried to bring, like, a whole ass record player because he was worried there’d be nothing to dance along to. Seriously, Kurt, we have a ca r a d i o for that. Precious Baby Boy.

He’s also pretty young, so be prepared to have lots of contraband School food (sour lollies, chips, etc) stashed everywhere in the car. This boy will eat all the junk food he can lay his three-fingered hands on. R E S T R A I N HIM. 

He'd probably take every opportunity he can to cuddle you or take you hand in his. He’s not quite used to doing ‘normal’ stuff like this, so the fact he’s doing something like that with you means a lot. 

Doctor Stephen Strange

He’s, um. He’s not used to this sort of thing either.

He’s been this arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed neurosurgeon for as long as he can remember. The most social and intimate thing he’s used to doing is ‘faking it’ with some random to make him look good.

BUT, sudeNly with you he kinda turns to a charismatic, sweetheart gentleman that will actually take you wherever you’d like to go. France? Okay. Brazil? Just south a little. China? Food’s great there. Russia? We’ll take ice skating lessons before we go. 

He can’t actually leave NYC for long, but he will spend as much time with you on trips away because they help him relax and it’s n i c e.

[sfthearts]

Sunshine p. 6

This took me so long to write that I

A. Forgot about it

And

B. Don’t even like it that much anymore

But I wanted to get it out and posted so I can finish the series (maybe??) in the next part, start on the request I have and maybe finish or abandon the other thing I’m writing but don’t think I like enough to post, so it’s just There.

Anyway, here it is.

6 months later.

Adelaide sat in a spinning desk chair next to the men in charge of production on Panic!’s first record. She watched with a smile on her face as Brendon sang his heart out on the other side of the plexiglass in front of her.

Brendon and the band, now officially known as Panic! At The Disco, had signed with Fueled By Ramen six months prior, and they were nearly finished with the recording process of the album. Brendon had to come in to re-record a few vocals to finish off the song they were working on so it could be sent off to master, and Adelaide wanted to come with. She loved being in the studio in general, and it certainly helped that she loved seeing Brendon shine at what he did.

He finished the final note of the song and opened his eyes, searching for hers. He saw them quickly and threw her a wink and a smile, her smile beamed and blew him a kiss in return.

“Alright that was great Brendon, I think that’ll do it for today!” The producer told him through the speaker system inside the booth. The other guys who had come in to see the progress had left with waves and nods in their direction. Brendon held a thumbs up and removed his headphones, placing them on the stool in front of him. He quickly entered the room where his producer and his girlfriend were both seated, Adelaide much more excited for his return than the man sitting next to her. She stood from her seat and ran to Brendon, giving him a big hug and kissed him all over his face. He wrapped his hands around her waist gently.

“So I take it you like the song huh?” He said with a smirk. She giggled and nodded, kissing him once more on the lips this time, which he gratefully accepted.

“Ready to head home?” He asked her happily. She nodded and took his hand. Brendon and Adelaide said goodbye and walked hand in hand to Brendon’s car.

Adelaide showered Brendon with praise the whole walk while swinging their arms happily. Brendon just thanked her and smiled, still shaky on the whole ‘accepting a compliment’ thing.

“So I was thinking we just spend the rest of the day at home? Hang by the pool, watch some movies, order some food, hang out with the puppies?” Brendon suggested.

“That sounds great baby.” Adelaide told him, smiling softly. He smiled back and kissed her quickly.

Over the last six months, a lot had changed for Brendon and Adelaide. They had officially moved in together, and shortly after rented an actual house with a yard, and had recently adopted another dog to keep Pumpkin company. He was a little Jack Russell Terrier and thankfully got along great with Pumpkin. They decided to name him Bogart, after Humphrey Bogart of course.

Brendon smiled back lovingly at Adelaide as they reached his car.

The drive home was quiet, not uncomfortably so, but the two were both in their own heads. Brendon’s thoughts drifted to the small black velvet box he had purchased just days ago that was currently hiding in the back of his nightstand drawer, which held the ring he was working up the courage to ask Adelaide to be his wife with. It was simple and classy, much like his girlfriend. She never wanted flashy things, despite all the things Brendon would try to buy for her, so he knew that a simple, delicate ring would be perfect for her. He had constantly been going over how he wanted to propose in his mind. Public or private, fancy or casual, he had absolutely no idea. The only thing he knew was that he wanted her to say yes. If he thought about their future too much he would almost start to cry, so he knew they would both be in tears when the day finally came and he actually asked her the question that had been on his mind from the day he met her.

He shook his head a little to clear his mind as he pulled the car into their driveway. Brendon reached over and gave Adelaide a soft, slow kiss before unbuckling and getting out to open her door.

“What was the sweet kiss for? I loved it, don’t get me wrong.“ Adelaide asked him, reaching for his hand.

“Just like kissing you” he said with a shrug and a smile as they walked inside.

Adelaide didn’t question it any further, mostly due to the rush of dogs running toward them in pure excitement.

Brendon and Adelaide spent a few minutes petting the dogs, scratching their heads and asking if they were good boys while they were gone. As per usual, they were.

The rest of their afternoon was spent lazily floating on rafts in their pool, Adelaide enjoying some wine while Brendon smoked a joint or two. Adelaide called it the two celebrating the band finishing another song, but Brendon just preferred to call it “My ideal afternoon with my lady.”

They decided to come inside around sundown, and ordered a pizza for dinner.

Brendon heard movement and looked up from his phone, smiling when he saw Adelaide’s face.

“Aw, you’re so cute with your little sunkissed cheeks” he called to her as she came back downstairs after showering and changing from her swimsuit. Brendon had showered first since he took much less time, and was already on the couch in just his sweatpants and glasses.

“You know what’s way cuter? These freckles of yours” Adelaide told Brendon, kissing his bare shoulder which was warm and extra freckled from the sun as she sat down next to him on the couch, leaning her head on his chest.

Brendon kissed the top of her head lightly and wrapped his arms around her. Adelaide looked up at him and made a kissy noise, gently grabbing his face and bringing it to hers for a slow, soft kiss.

“I love you.” he whispered.

Adelaide smiled and softly replied, as she ran a finger up and down his jawline.

“I love you too.”

It was right then and there that Brendon had made his decision, as he stared into the eyes of the love of his life, he saw his whole future flash before his own.

“I’ll be right back” Brendon says quickly, moving Adelaide’s body off of his so he could go grab the small ring box he stashed away for safekeeping. Bogart followed closely behind him, his nap disturbed by Brendon’s sudden movement.

He reached into the back of his drawer and flipped the velvet box open, revealing the ring. He smiled softly and closed the lid, running back down the stairs. Adelaide sat on the couch alone, still confused by Brendon’s sudden departure.

“Brendon what are you- oh my god” Adelaide said breathlessly, placing her now trembling hands on her chest as Brendon knelt down in front of her. Her heart was beating a hundred miles a minute. Her face broke into the biggest smile she could imagine.

“Adelaide, I’ve been trying to figure out the most perfect and beautiful way to do this for weeks, because you deserve the most perfect and beautiful version of everything in this world, and I realized that I don’t think there could be a more perfect moment than right here, just the two of us in our little bubble. I’ll never forget the day I met you, and how much of an asshole I was to you, and you still gave me a chance.” He laughed a little and cleared his throat. He shifted his position slightly and grabbed one of Adelaide’s hands, both of them shaking in each other’s grasp. Adelaide wiped at the waterfall of happy tears running down her face with her free hand as she continued to sob. “I love you more than words could possibly say, you’ve picked me up when I’ve fallen, you’ve believed in me when I didn’t, and you’ve saved me more than you’ll ever know. I want to have a life and a family with you. I want to be those old people sitting on a porch together. I know life is about to get crazy with my music, but I can’t imagine getting through it without you by my side. I would love more than anything to be able to call you my wife, and for us to spend the rest of forever together. So, Adelaide, will you marry me?” He popped the box open to reveal the ring of Adelaide's dreams. Brendon’s voice had cracked and shook the entire time as he desperately tried to hold back from crying right along with Adelaide. He held his breath awaiting her response.

She could only nod her head rapidly, and it was enough for Brendon to hop up from his position, placing the ring on her hand, and gently grabbing her face to kiss her lips through both of their tears as he sat back on the couch next to her. He pulled her into his arms for a tight hug.

“I love you so much,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to be your wife”

Brendon pulled away and wiped some of her tears, then wiping his own that had escaped his eyes.

“I can’t wait either, Sunshine.” He said, kissing her once more. His thumb stroked her cheek softly once they pulled apart, but their moment was interrupted by the doorbell.

“Oh shit, pizza” Brendon exclaimed, quickly wiping away at the rest of the tears in his eyes as he ran to the door. He thanked the driver and handed him his tip, closing the door and coming back to Adelaide the couch.

“I guess this isn’t the most romantic meal but… engagement pizza?”

Adelaide laughed before grabbing a slice.

“Engagement pizza!”

They ‘cheers-ed’ their slices together and began eating. The two enjoyed their engagement pizza while they talked and laughed with each other, discussing their wedding, and their future together, as they had done so many times before. Usually, they’d have these talks when they were laying in bed at night and it felt like more of a dream than their reality. Now it was real, and neither Brendon nor Adelaide could contain their excitement.

[poguesofthebau]

hi! if youre still doing them can i get a ship? my name is sam, im a straight female and i have brown eyes with kinda long brown hair. im about 5'7. im pretty quiet unless im with friends although i can be very talkitive, im very sarcastic. at times i can be stubborn. i care a lot about other peoples feelings and opinions more than i probably should. lowkey a hopeless romantic. i mostly listen to pop and sometimes rock music. i like to draw, watch movies, and hang with friends.

first and foremost... i love your blog. okay now let the ship begin :)

i ship you with jj!! (honorary mention: a lot of the time, you’d seek refuge in pope. aside from jj, pope matched your energy the best of all the pogues, and you often found yourself plopping down next to him on a log at the Boneyard when jj was being annoying, or on the couch in The Chateau when jj wouldn’t get out of the hammock after the nap you’d taken together, or in the back of the van when jj insisted on riding shotgun instead of kie for once. you and pope would just be like... bros. half the time you had super quiet conversations that no one else could hear until one of you burst out laughing. then jj would make a sarcastic comment about pope stealing his girl, and john b would make one about the two of you secretly plotting to dismantle the government or something)

you would be the pogue who insisted on a weekly movie night every thursday during the summer. in your mind, there was no excuse for any of the pogues to miss it, and because they knew how much it meant to you, none of them ever did miss it. eventually, these movie nights led to you and jj’s relationship, so he liked to tell everyone who asked that you made the first move. (not directly true, but we all know how convincing of an argument jj could make, no matter how absurd the lie.) the first few times you guys met up at The Chateau for movie night, summer had barely even started. school had ended on a thursday night, and all five of you had gone straight to john b’s after last period, immediately breaking out the celebratory beers and joints before settling in a few hours later for a movie. the entire time, jj would be snuggled up right beside you, arm tossed around your shoulders, whispering little comments about the film in your ear every few minutes. you’d laugh quietly when he started ranting to you about how much of a rip off the movie re-make you were watching was, and the tiny giggle you let out was apparently enough to light a fire among the pogues. john b and pope were convinced that the two of you secretly had something going on, and, no matter how much you both brushed it off, you knew the taunting and teasing was there to stay for the summer.

unsurprisingly, you were right. john b and pope wouldn’t let it go. the following day, the first official day of summer, the five of you would spend the day on the hms pogue, swimming and fishing and drinking and laughing. when jj grabbed you by the waist, both of you laughing loudly and uncontrollably, and dragged you off the boat and into the water with him, the other boys started up again. “jesus christ, jj, at least act like you’re not desperate!” john b would call as you and jj paddled around to the other side of the boat. “i know, dude,” pope would jump in. “just because you’re in the water now, doesn’t mean you washed the love off your face.” you’d snort at that, jj throwing his friends the finger. kie simply sat there, observing the interaction between her friends with a smirk. she, too, had her own little theory that jj felt some special kind of way about you, but she was holding on to it until she could get one of you alone to discuss it. little did you know, she actually would get jj alone the next day. after your day on the water, everyone would return to their respective homes to clean up and get a good night’s sleep before the first saturday night Boneyard party of the summer. the next afternoon, when kie and jj both coincidentally arrived at jb’s at the same time, she saw her opportunity. “hey, by the way,” kie would say after greeting the blonde, pulling him back by the shoulder with a sweet, sarcastic smile. “how long have you been in love with sam?” his face would pale for a second, but just as he regained his composure to jab back at her, you were stepping out of the Chateau with a grin on your face. “who’s ready to fuck the Boneyard up this summer? come on, losers, me and john b already started pregaming!” with one last knowing grin thrown at jj, kie was scurrying up the stairs and grabbing a beer and getting the party started. that night, jj got totally sloshed and fully confessed his feelings to kiara. he also made her swear on the pogues not to leak his secret before he could confess it to you.

so a few more weeks would go by, jj and kie both keeping his secret perfectly. they’d have short interactions of just the two of them, where the two would gush like teenage girls over the cute thing you’d said to jj one afternoon, or how beautiful you looked in that one sundress you’d worn for a day of hanging around at john b’s. during all the following movie nights, jj would be sure to save you a seat next to him on the couch, always slyly putting that arm around you and telling you little fun facts about the films you’d watch. eventually you caught on to jj and kie’s behavior, and how sneaky they were being. on top of that, you finally admitted to yourself how special jj made you feel. funny enough, you’d wind up confiding in pope and john b about your newfound feelings for the reckless blonde. there’d be one day a few weeks into the summer when kie had to work at The Wreck and jj had to work at the kook hotel, but the rest of you had the day off, so you, pope, and jb would take the boat out for a chill day of fishing and tanning. you’d be laying out on the front of the boat, pope in the driver’s seat and john b throwing a net out to try to catch something for dinner. (the vibes that i am imagining on this boat... immaculate. something about pope x john b seems so comfortable and just literally vibey to me idk but i love it.) you’d have your eyes closed and a hand thrown over your face to block out the sun as you chatted with the boys, and eventually the topic would flow over to jj. “i dunno, i think him and kie might kind of have a thing or something,” you’d admit, disappointment prominent and obvious in your voice. “which, like, i don’t really care, but it’s just kind of... i don’t know.” pope would be looking at you from his spot on the boat, a slightly concerned look on his face. john b would just shrug, shaking his head a little as he spoke despite your eyes being closed. “i don’t really think it’s serious. i’ve noticed them like, whispering a little, too, i guess, but i don’t think it’s a big deal.” you’d sigh at john b’s words, your hand falling from your face as you flipped onto your side to look at your boys. “can i just admit something to you guys? but it has to stay on this boat. no kie, and no jj. this is between the three of us only. promise?” john b would draw an invisible cross over his heart as pope raised his right hand and gave you a quick scout’s honor. “it’s stupid, but i just thought maybe jj had a little thing for me. so with all this kie shit, i’m just kind of confused.” pope’s eyes would widen and john b’s eyebrows would raise. “seriously, do not repeat what i just said. i will kill you both.” “maybe you should just tell jj before either of us get the chance, then,” john b would offer. you’d roll your eyes, laying flat on your back again. “no, seriously,” pope would agree. “just because he’s been spending some extra time with kie doesn’t mean he feels that way about her. maybe they’re talking about you all the time. you never know.” although you didn’t know that pope’s idea was actually the truth, it really got you thinking.

the next thursday on movie night, you decided to sit between pope and john b instead of snuggling into jj’s side. it seemed like a harmless change to the other three pogues, but you could see jj burning up inside. he sat through the entire movie with his jaw locked, grinding his teeth when he heard you mumble something to john b about the movie. by the time the film was over, jj was about to explode, and everyone noticed. “you good, buddy?” john b would ask twenty minutes later when he saw jj’s knuckles going white from how tight his grip on his beer was. he’d glare at his friend before turning to you. “can you come outside with me for a second?” you’d glance at pope in a panic before quickly nodding and standing. jj stormed out of the house in front of you, dropping into a hammock and running a hand through his hair as you nervously followed. “what’s up?” you’d timidly ask. while your voice was steady, your mind was running a mile a minute. he knows. he hates me. i should’ve known not to tell the boys. with their big fucking mouths, they probably-- “do you have a thing for john b, or something?” you were stunned out of your thoughts, freezing where you stood at the (seemingly impossible) question. “why would you think that?” you’d finally ask, jj letting out a puff of air. “i-- can you just answer the question?” you’d shake your head, causing him to sigh. “then why’d you sit next to him? you always sit with me on movie night.” you’d shrug, shuffling your feet and avoiding eye contact. “i dunno. i thought you’d wanna sit with kie.” there was a moment of silence then, and you could’ve sworn you felt your friendship dying. you were gonna lose jj, because of some stupid crush, and you were going to absolutely break over it. “you’re an idiot,” jj would mumble under his breath after thinking for a few moments. as you looked at him, completely puzzled by his words, he was standing swiftly from the hammock and approaching you quickly. “such a fucking idiot, sam.” those would be his last words before his hands were suddenly on the sides of your face, tucking your hair behind your ears, his lips kissing you. barely seconds into the kiss, you heard whooping and screaming from behind you. when you pulled back from jj, he was smirking, raising his middle finger once again to pope, john b, and kie, who were all standing in the door of the Chateau, cheering you on. you, however, were still confused beyond belief, unable to move your eyes from him. he finally looked back to you, still smiling. “are you okay?” he’d laugh, tucking another stray hair behind your ear. “what was that?” he’d tilt his head at you, smile now replaced by a smitten look. “i thought-- i thought you and kie--” you simply shook your head in place of words, causing jj to laugh. “i told you you’re an idiot. every time i was with kie, it was to talk about you.” your jaw dropped at that, and you spun to face your friends. “pope, you fucking genius! you were right!” as per usual. pope was always right, especially when it came to his best friends.

[bagels-and-seagulls]

You still have any thoughts about the enemies to lovers au? We left off at a pretty fraught moment

what a fraught moment indeed. i thought i could take after druck and just leave everyone hanging for news, but unlike druck, i actually came back bis bald wtf does that mean bitch anyways

more enemies to lovers au

Sara sends Matteo a voice message early in the evening, and it takes Matteo an hour, two beers, and a joint to work up the courage to open it. 

“Hey, Matteo. I- uh, I just wanted to say, that like, I was really shitty when I- well, you know. And I wanted to say that I’m sorry, and that I wasn’t thinking about- about you and like, what that would do to you. And that was- just really shitty I guess. I hope you can forgive me... Okay, that’s it. Bye.” 

She sounds sad, like she was on the verge of tears almost, and Matteo felt something mean and angry sink into his skin that made him want to scream, made him want to throw something, and say some choice words that wouldn’t be appreciated by anyone involved. He wanted to send something back that was loud and biting that said i don’t believe you, that said fuck off, that said oh, now you’re sorry?, that said you’re only saying it because David’s got involved. what about me? why weren’t you sorry when it was just me? why am I second place to my own feelings?

He didn’t though, send any of those messages. He left her on a read, even though it took all of his power to not send something back that gave her the message that he wasn’t interested in her apology, not now, not when he didn’t think there was anything genuine in it. 

Leonie messaged him, too. Twice over instagram of all places, even though he vaguely remembers that he has her number from when Sara’s phone died one time they were out and Sara demanded that he text Leonie with some slurring in her words to meet them at some place and was able to rattle her number off from the top of her head. 

sorry for outing youi would take it back if i could

Matteo did respond to those because there was something chilling taking over his hands and his fingers, making him start to shake all the way down to his knees, and red was blurring the edges of his vision, filled with rage and frustration and something else entirely. Disbelief, maybe. Insult, most likely. 

fuck off, he types out fast and sends it, seeing that she reads it immediately. He watches her start typing, and then stop, and then start again. 

can we talk? She asks, and starts talking again. i kno that sara wants to talk

And Matteo starts messaging back so fast that he wasn’t even looking at the letters anymore. 

i dont give a fcuki have nothing to say to uor heru had months to apolgizur only doing this bc of davidand i dont give a shit about ur insincere apologiesso jsut fuck off and leave me alone

He opens his chats with David and ignores the sweet and smiley messages that had been sending each other over the weekend, when they looked at today filled with promise and hope for starting something that would end up tasting like a hot fudge Sunday or marshmallows melted by the fire. He starts typing out some messages, but deletes them just as quickly to start something else, just as bitter and sour sounding as the last one, until he settles on the movie was good too bad u werent there.

And David comes online as soon as he hits send, and it takes him a second to start typing. 

can I come over? 

For a second, Matteo almost wants to say no, he can’t, that he didn’t want to see him right now, just to be a little bit of a jerk, but there was another part of him that wanted to fight right now, wanted to scream a little and make a scene with someone there to watch, wanted to show his anger in more than a couple of texts with bad spelling. So he sends his address and throws himself into his chair and lights up another blunt while he waits. 

It doesn’t take too long for David to get there, not long at all, and after a few minutes, Hans is pushing his door open to stick his head in. “Butterfly, there’s someone here to see you?” He asks with a sad little smile like David might have already spilled the reason why he was here, and for some reason, it makes Matteo angrier, makes his hands start shaking just a little bit at the thought that David is telling his business to everyone in hearing range. 

“Yeah,” he says through gritted teeth, and Hans frowns a little bit. 

“I’ll be right across the hall, okay?” He says like it’s a question, though it was more of a reminder and walks away, leaving the door open enough for him to see David standing there behind him with his hands shoved in his coat pockets and his shoes still on. 

“Hey,” David greets as he pushes the door closed behind him. 

Matteo doesn’t say anything, just stares at David and takes a drag of his mostly finished joint. 

“So, I, uh-” 

“Talked to Leonie and Sara? I know,” Matteo interrupts. “They messaged me. Apologizing.” 

“Leonie says you told her to fuck off,” David says with a tilt of his head, and it looks like he’s trying desperately to keep his face neutral, even though Matteo was making no such attempt. 

“Yeah,” he says and takes another drag. “I don’t want her fucking fake apologizes.” 

“They’re not fake,” David responds, still trying to keep his face blank, though his mouth kept quirking to the sides like it was getting more difficult.

Matteo scoffs and gets up to stub out the joint in a mug with the others. “Yeah, right,” he starts. “If they were sorry, and I mean for real, they would’ve fucking reached out months ago.”

David looks like he was feeling a little defensive all of sudden. “They just didn’t understand-”

“Oh, don’t give that bullshit! They understood just fine what they were doing, and the only reason that they’re even fucking saying sorry now is because you got involved. They’re not fucking sorry for what they did. They’re sorry that you’re mad at them,” Matteo interrupts and throws an arm out towards him. 

“Well someone had to get involved,” David spits out. “And you weren’t going to do anything about it.” 

“Fuck you,” Matteo spits out. “This was none of your fucking business. You had no fucking right to get involved. You weren’t even here when this happened!” 

“Sorry for giving a shit then! Jesus!” David throws his arms out, and takes his hat off to tug at the strands of his hair. 

“If you gave a shit, you would have asked what I wanted before you went out- fucking- I don’t know,” Matteo says and scratches at his face. “Airing my dirty laundry or some shit.” 

“I didn’t air your laundry or whatever,” David argues, looking a little less angry and a little more tired. “I went up to them and asked if they sent the video. And they both were like of course not, we wouldn’t do anything like that. And I said that’s good because it’s a fucking shitty thing to do and that I felt awful all week because of it and that I had to leave my last school because some asshole outed me and, fucking, ruined my life there. I told them it fucking sucks when someone tells something that you weren’t ready to tell and how about the kids there laughed at me, and stared at me, and asked me shitty fucking questions all the time. And that, you came over when the video came out and were there for me and are really sweet to me. And it’s good to have people support you.” 

And Matteo looks at him for a minute, trying to read the way that David was holding his gaze like he was serious, and exhausted, and something else mixed in there that seemed a little sad. “You said all that?” Matteo asks. 

“A little more eloquently the first time, I hope,” David says with a shrug. 

“Oh,” Matteo says, feeling like he was simmering out a little bit.

“I didn’t tell them to apologize or anything,” David says, stepping closer to Matteo and reaching out to gather up his hand that was still scratching along his jaw and down his neck as Matteo was trying to look at the puzzle now with a new piece. 

"Oh,” Matteo repeats, and David sways closer just a little bit. “I still-,” he starts and stops again. 

David hums and starts playing with Matteo’s fingers so they have something to do instead of creeping into his hairline and tugging. 

“I still don’t want to talk to them,” Matteo breathes out. “I’m not ready to... to forgive them. I guess.” 

“That’s okay,” David says quietly, and Matteo leans into his space to rest his face against his neck. “That’s okay, Teo,” he repeats and wraps an arm around Matteo’s back. “You don’t ever have to be ready if you’re not.” 

“Sorry for yelling at you,” Matteo says. “I just feel.. I don’t know.”

“I get it a little. I feel I don’t know sometimes, too.”

“And what do you do? When you feel like that?” Matteo asks and hugs him in close. 

David cards his fingers through Matteo’s hair, and it feels too nice for this moment, it feels like something out of, feels like they were being sprinkled in powder sugar even though the words they were just throwing at each other were dosed in gasoline, just ready to ignite at any moment. “I run away, just try to escape the whole world and never come back.”

“I don’t want to run away anymore,” Matteo mutters and clenches onto David’s elbow. 

“I don’t either,” David responds, running his nose down his side of Matteo’s temple. 

Matteo sighs into it. “We were supposed to go on our first date,” he says. 

“Yeah,” David says, and Matteo can feel the movement of his lips on his cheek. “How about we just take a nap now and try again in the morning?” 

“A new leaf.” 

[bearingwater]

September Forecast for Aquarius

Resist the back-to-school rush, Aquarius. This month finds you feeling more private and internal as the Sun grooves through Virgo and your intimate eighth house until September 23. Your energy is best focused on one particular person or project since Virgo season sharpens your powers of concentration. Of course, your naturally social personality doesn’t exactly operate like this. Adopt a “quality over quantity” metric and choose your RSVPs accordingly. You don’t have to be at every industry cocktail party or welcome-to-fall gathering—especially when the real “pumpkin spice” is likely to happen behind closed doors!

The eighth house rules all manner of merging, from soul-searing sex to joint financial ventures—unions that create a force field of power through your shared energies. Whether you reach “supercouple” status (think: Will and Jada, Barack and Michelle) or team up for world domination (like the “Steves” of Apple, Woz and Jobs), those are #goals for Virgo time. And they’re supercharged now because heat-seeking Mars, the planet of drive and ambition, is also in Virgo from August 18 to October 3.

Mars only visits each sign every two years, and this biannual boon could find you eager—even racing frantically—into a permanent engagement. Before you plunk your life savings into a piece of property or a cryptocurrency coin…or rush to City Hall with “the One” after dating for six months…know that the Sun and Mars together can tempt you to jump the gun.

Having inflammatory Mars in this intense zone of your chart isn’t necessarily easy. It can stoke envy, possessiveness and power struggles just as readily as it can bring you a lucrative financial deal or a soulmate encounter. You’ll need to manage the energy with care!

There’s even more reason to pace yourself, Aquarius. All month long—and exactly on September 21—optimistic Jupiter and hazy Neptune will make their last of 2019’s three dueling squares. Both are in ever-changing “mutable” signs: Jupiter is in its native soil of starry-eyed Sagittarius, and Neptune’s daydreaming in its home court of Pisces.

Jupiter and Neptune have been traveling in close contact nearly the entire year; they made two previous alignments in January and June. Under their influence, you’ll feel pulled between the practical and the fanciful, torn between your daily duties and a desire to dream big.

Expansive Jupiter is making its once-every-12-years trip through Sagittarius and your eleventh house of groups, the future and idealistic visions from November 8, 2018, until December 2, 2019. A collaboration may have taken flight under this transit, bringing opportunities to travel, grow or spread an inspiring message. Since the eleventh house rules technology, Jupiter’s auspicious touch may have enhanced your digital presence or led to an exciting launch. A chance to put your unique and innovative stamp on something huge—with a dream team to boot—is in the offing for the rest of this year!

The catch? A conflicting beam from nebulous Neptune in your money house may have left you short on funds or dealing with unclear budgets, timelines and practical details. This could make it hard to pull off your lofty vision, at least on the scale you imagine. A confidence crash could bring a wave of self-doubt at this month’s Jupiter-Neptune square. Your hyperactive social life could also contribute to your cash crunch. Have you spotted your friends or picked up the tab one time too many?

This month, Mars will wedge itself into the Jupiter-Neptune conflict, forming a T-square, which is a three-way battle for the throne. You’ll feel this tension from about September 8 to 18, and most strongly from September 12 to 14. The stress of a big expense or purchase could further exacerbate financial friction. A partner may also lean on you heavily now, which could zap your time or energetic resources. Your freedom-seeking side can feel completely claustrophobic and tempted to bolt. Unfortunately, your responsibilities are too deeply embedded to extract yourself from impulsively. While you may decide it’s time for an exit strategy, that might not be possible until later this year or next.

The key? Don’t lose your sense of humor or your creativity. While it’s important not to be impulsive, that doesn’t mean you should lock the muse in the closet and throw away the key. Nor should you stop yourself from enjoying fall festivities. Although you won’t have time for all of them (or even most of them), choose—or host!—a “party of the season” and really let your hair down.

This T-square tension will reach full tilt right as the September 14 full moon appears in Pisces and your grounded second house. This could bring a midmonth moment of clarity, a chance to prioritize and make an action plan. If you’ve been waiting for word on finances or work, you could finally hear concrete news. This full moon can also bring a confidence boost when you need it most. Don’t wait for other people to call the shots or make a decision for you. Be firm and self-authorized today, Aquarius and lean in to leadership. If nobody steps up to the plate then…tag, you’re it!

That said, dreamy Neptune IS hovering close to the moon, so you’ll still have your rose-colored glasses on. Make sure you haven’t swept any key details under the rug, especially when it comes to finances. The gift of Neptune’s presence? You can infuse any tough decisions or announcements with compassion. If you have to tighten your belt for a bit, you’ll find a way to keep pleasure in the equation! Your artistic innovations could also hit paydirt today. If you’re dropping an album, hosting a gallery show or bringing people together for that aforementioned “party of the century” gathering, this full moon could be a great day to do it.

Either way, you’ll be glad you got yourself grounded and streamlined because on September 18, structured Saturn wakes up from a four-month retrograde nap in Capricorn and your twelfth house of closure and healing. Saturn’s been making a long tour of Capricorn from December 2017 until March 2020 (with a final lap coming July through December 2020). You’ve done a lot of important inner work during this time, Aquarius—and you’ve probably gone deeper into emotional, spiritual and vulnerable places than ever before. Whew!

While there may have been some painful moments, you can also take stock of the resilience you’ve gained! Is there someone you still have yet to forgive, a resentment that’s poisoning you by carrying it around. Saturn helps you do the brave work. For artists and healers, this is a powerful time to establish yourself as an expert or to work with a mentor to gain mastery through a disciplined practice.

A taste of the freedom you’re craving arrives starting September 23, when the Sun soars into Libra and your ninth house of travel, expansion and adventure for a month. Now you can pull yourself out of tunnel-vision mode and see the big picture again. At the September 28 Libra new moon, start putting plans into action. Where would you like to be six months from now, at the corresponding Libra full moon? And what horizon-broadening experiences do you want to have between today and then? Get some bucket-list goals on the agenda, from launching your indie business to visiting a dream destination. Don’t limit yourself—explore all possibilities during this blue-sky month without holding back!

Love & Romance

With Mars blazing through earthily sensual Virgo and your erotic eighth house all month (until October 3), your seductive and sizzling superpowers are cranked up full blast. The red-hot planet hasn’t visited this chart sector for two years, and some Aquarians are making up for lost time! And with the other love planet, Venus, along for the ride until September 14, it really is a wonder you’re getting anything (else) done at all.

That’s not to say it’s been all fun and (naughty) games. Mars ratchets up passion but also increases competition, jealousy, tension and paranoia. Monitor your emotions as they arise and catch yourself before you go on the attack. Chances are you’re blowing up a molehill. If there are legit complaints, however, take the high road and initiate a calm, loving dialogue, perhaps with a mediator.

You might be feeling ready to make things permanent—or possibly you’re having the exact opposite sense, like it’s time to go your separate ways. This, too, deserves compassion and respectful conversations (e.g., do NOT send a breakup text!). Unattached? Lust might override your need for trust, and while there’s nothing wrong with following your desires, know what you’re getting yourself into because getting OUT of it might be trickier.

Venus advances to Libra and your adventurous ninth house on September 14 through October 8. The call of the open road may be irresistible over the coming weeks, and if you’ve got the time and funds, why NOT answer it? Romantic escapades await the wanderlust-y Water Bearer. You might even be open to a long-distance relationship or click with someone from a wildly different background than yours.

Key Dates

September 1: Venus-Saturn Trine This rare (twice-a-year) mashup of loving Venus and structured Saturn activates your most emotional and intuitive sectors. Find some time during the day to tune in, and you can get more lucid about your needs and desires, including what “commitment” looks like to you—and whether you’re ready for it in the first place.

Money & Career

Dive into the deep end of the pool, Aquarius With the Sun and motivator Mars in Virgo and your eighth house of research, merging and shared finances until September 23, this month is all about powerful alliances and transformational projects. The key will be to FOCUS! That could get tricky, though, since Mars is making a distracting angle to Jupiter and Neptune all month (hitting a peak on September 21). Competition from your thriving social schedule and daily duties could interrupt your focus. Plot some money moves at the September 14 Pisces full moon, which will illuminate your second house of work and financial gain. Update your resume with your most recent achievements. Put your name in the ring for a promotion or plum project.

On September 18, structured Saturn ends a four-month retrograde in Capricorn and your restful twelfth house. If you’ve found it difficult to complete projects since late April, or your energy levels have felt low, you’ll be able to make a plan for tying up those loose ends (finally!). Reach out for support or mentorship instead of trying to figure it all out alone. Optimism returns starting September 23, when the Sun starts a monthlong visit to Libra and your ninth house of growth, entrepreneurship and travel. Let a vacation be your motivation. Start saving for a trip to a beautiful (and budget-friendly) bucket list trip. If you’re a freelancer, make it a “work-cation”—have laptop, will travel— and head somewhere you can quietly develop your passion projects in a serene setting. Shake loose from your everyday surroundings and allow yourself to be inspired. The Libra new moon on September 28 could spark a visionary idea or a novel concept for a savvy startup!

Key Dates

September 6: Mercury-Jupiter Square Don’t believe everything you hear today. It’s not that anyone is intentionally trying to pull the wool over your eyes, but with expansive Jupiter adding a little elasticity to the truth, people may be slightly exaggerating their abilities or soft-pedaling the costs. Be agreeable, but before you say yes, tell them you need to see some hard evidence.

Love Days: 21, 25 Money Days: 1, 13 Luck Days: 28, 10 Off Days: 22, 27, 8

[kyokkou]

𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 | part seven. mid- to late-heisei (1989-2019) era.

☼ part six. ☼

                    ❝You and I, we'll keep moving forward                     Even if we let go of the grasps on each other's hands                     We have a bond between us that will never end.❞

          IF SOMEONE TOLD HIM THAT, IN THE FUTURE, he would be allies with the very person who defeated him some six decades prior, Kiku would have laughed them out of the country. He wouldn't have believed it for a second that there was even a chance that he could be in the same room with that spoiled child and not lose his mind. It had happened before; sometime in the early nineties when Alfred had come by for a visit. That ended in humiliation; he was weak now, and couldn't do anything but make idle threats. However, there were more things at play than Kiku even realized, and it took the better half of two decades for them to sort out every last grievance they held onto since the 1940s-- or at least, most of them.           AFTER THE CONCLUSION of the joint exercises, Kiku decided he needed to take some leave-- it was difficult to keep up with everyone now, his ships and his human enlisted sailors both-- not to mention Alfred already being difficult to deal with. Things between them were no longer tense; it was actually by request that he went on these joint exercises. Hikaru didn't want the American in the country unless need be, but Kiku actually found his company somewhat enjoyable. In spite of their previous hatred for one another, they shared more similarities than he would have liked to admit-- which was one of the reasons that he ended up helping him with the little problem the younger nation was having. It had caused Alfred quite a lot of grief over the years, but Kiku was still caught up in his old ways of helping when it was advantageous to him. Having this younger ally with a massive navy was something he couldn't pass up, regardless of what had happened in the years prior. Perhaps he even enjoyed his company when they were out on exercises-- though he'd deny it if asked...

          HIKARU WAS STILL HAPPY to see that he was home and relaxing after being at sea for a week-- he never used to bother with time off to recover, but nowadays he was much more willing to spend time away from his duties. Somehow, too, he found himself relieved that Kiku no longer wanted to constantly fight Alfred-- regardless of the things that had happened between them, Hikaru was tired of any and all fighting. He could stomach them getting along if it meant peace. They could figure out the other details later; he did want Alfred to stay out of Japan entirely, but with the way the world had changed, that likely wouldn't be much more than an alternate reality. Kiku was probably right; it benefitted them more to have him around now that they could no longer have a true naval force anymore, and Hikaru still trusted him with matters of self-defense.           THE SIGHT OF KIKU SLEEPING with two of their three children using him as a pillow was incredibly endearing. Every day at the same time, the three of them napped; it was how Hikaru knew he didn't come home too late in the evening. The third child was probably outside in the garden; he wasn't as well-adjusted as the other two. Hikaru would find him for some light kitchen chores, and eventually the other two would wake up and join in. Hikaru always woke Kiku up himself; it was risky to wake him up these days. Sometimes he reacted poorly to being awakened too abruptly, and Hikaru didn't want any more stress on either of them-- or the children, who were disputed territories and had been through a little too much for their age.           ❝IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR DINNER,❞ Hikaru spoke quietly as he gently ran his fingers through Kiku's hair. Miko and Kazuhiko lingered nearby, and waited for Kiku to sit up before getting closer, but as soon as he did, they were ready to bombard him with details about what was for dinner and how they had helped Hikaru prepare it. In his groggy state, he couldn't really respond past a quick head-pat for the both of them, and a tired smile at Hikaru. In spite of sleeping more than enough during his time off, he was still exhausted, and Hikaru could see right through his attempts to deny it. ❝Don't get up. We'll bring everything in,❞ he insisted, as he did every other day of the week; this time, though, Kiku didn't protest and follow them out of the room.           OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE he saw the slightest movement in the hallway. Confused, Kiku kept his gaze on the doorway-- he could have sworn he heard an unfamiliar voice from the other room, too. Sure enough, a small child came running down the corridor, past the open door of his room-- and it was not one of their children. She was dressed traditionally, with a bright red bow in her hair, and he had to wonder if maybe Hikaru had managed to find Kazuhiko's sister, or maybe even the last disputed island. Doubtful of the latter, Kiku shook his head, and waited for Hikaru and the three children to get settled. One thing was wrong, however-- where was the fourth one?           ❝HIKARU, DID WE GAIN ANOTHER ISLAND while I was asleep?❞ Kiku asked, only to be met with a confused look from Hikaru.           ❝NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN IN NEGOTIATIONS with anyone since last year-- and I definitely cannot ask for Takeshima now,❞ Hikaru answered, putting his bowl of rice down slowly. ❝Is that what this is about...?❞           ❝NO, BUT I SAW ANOTHER little kid, she looked about Miko's age. Does she have a friend over? Why not let her sit with us?❞ He had known better than to pester Hikaru about Takeshima, and even gently asking if Russia had responded in regards to Kazuhiko and the southern Kuril islands as a whole was pushing it. Hikaru had been through a lot of stress over the Senkaku islands in recent years, and they still had a hard time adjusting-- Akimitsu more so, of course-- so Kiku found it in him to just let Takeshima go.           ❝THERE IS NO ONE ELSE HERE, Kiku. Miko was asleep when I returned home, and you know Pochi and Momo would have woken you up with their barking if someone had come to the door.❞ Hikaru looked the slightest bit concerned, and things grew somewhat awkward as they both returned to eating. Kiku wasn't sure what to make of it; he was definitely awake and hadn't any reason to be hallucinating like he was. Even after dinner, he sat pensively near the window, occasionally glancing over to check the clock until it was time to put the children to bed. He took Miko and Kazuhiko, while Hikaru took Akimitsu, to their respective rooms, and retreated right back to his own once they were settled. Hikaru was waiting there for him.           ❝I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING-- about what you saw earlier. What did the girl look like...?❞ Hikaru didn't bother to hold back as he usually did, and the rather straightforward behavior was concerning to him.           ❝SHE WAS SMALL, LIKE MIKO, with short hair, a bright red bow... really colorful yukata, as if it's summer. It's November...❞ Kiku felt almost as if Hikaru didn't even believe him; but it was quite the opposite. Hikaru looked relieved.           ❝YOU CAN FINALLY SEE HER?❞ Hikaru asked, seemingly overwhelmed with joy; the way his voice seemed to struggle to hold back his excitement was something Kiku easily picked up on these days, having relearned all of the things that he had forgotten in their separation.           ❝FINALLY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN-- that she's some sort of ghost!?❞ Kiku had never seen anything that could be considered supernatural, and he wasn't entirely thrilled that this entire time there had been some sort of spirit in their home. Hikaru stifled a chuckle, covering his mouth with his hand.           ❝WELL, IN A WAY, YES-- she's a zashiki warashi-- a house spirit. She's good luck. I cared for her for so long... and I always wondered why you couldn't see her, until eventually I couldn't, either.❞ The way he worded it made Kiku realize exactly when Hikaru had lost track of her-- when he came about. Hikaru almost always spoke of the war in vague terms; even the way he spoke those words had changed. He knew, and felt immediately guilty.           ❝HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO SEE her, when I've never even believed in any of this before...❞ Kiku asked, but he didn't expect an answer. Hikaru couldn't have known exactly why this was happening now; nothing had really changed much with him, except that he was a bit more observant of traditions now that they had children. Both of them had agreed that they would introduce the kids to traditions so that they could feel like they belonged a bit more, but he never once thought that it would affect how-- or rather, what he was able to see.           ❝I HONESTLY AM NOT SURE WHY, but I wonder if that means...❞                                                 PART EIGHT COMING SOON!

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Take a Break -- Stuckony

Okay, this is my first non-Voltron fic, my first MCU fic, my first Stuckony fic.... Be nice, is what I’m saying lol. I’ve been playing with this idea in my head for weeks now, but never felt I could do the characters justice. Steve has a role, but I’m still not sure of how I want to write him, so I think I accidentally just wrote less of him for this story. Anyway, I’ve spent the last three or four week reading nothing but MCU fics, mainly IronWinter (is that their ship??? I honestly don’t know guys) or Stuckony, so I need to find some more Stony fics, if you guys have any recommendations haha. Anyway, hope I did okay, cause I enjoyed it. Hope you do, too :) Should be a Klance fic coming next week, because I got an idea for one halfway through this, cause my mind is stupid.

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              It took Tony a few minutes to register that Steve was down in his workshop. It took him even longer to hear him gently calling his name to get his attention. With that in mind, maybe Bucky did have the right idea. His tactics definitely got his attention a lot faster, that was for sure. While Steve wasted time trying to gently nudge him away from his projects, Bucky just growled and huffed at him, then scooped him up into his arms.

              “Wha—Buck! Put me down, damn it! I wasn’t finished working on that!”

              Bucky hummed, apparently thinking it over. “Nah, pretty sure I don’t care.”

              “But, Bucky…!”

              “No, Tony, you’ve been down here for days, do you realize that? You absolutely need food. I know you’ve been ignoring the meals Steve keeps trying to leave for you, and you and I both know that thirty minute naps on your old, ratty couch here isn’t going to save you, even if you’ve had 10 of them in the last 4 days.” Tony had in fact had 3 of those naps, but he wasn’t about to tell Bucky that. Instead, he attempted to barter with Steve.

              “Baby blues, wonderful, darling Steve, just give me another five hours? I know I can get this right if you give me just a little more time! I can’t leave Clint without his arrows, come on!”

              Steve grimaced at him. “No, Tones. I’m sure Clint has plenty of arrows without needing these ones, too. He can wait a day or two.”

              “Besides, we love you more than him anyway,” Bucky butted in, pausing to resituate Tony and to tighten his grip in order to better secure the squirming mess in his arms.

              Steve sighed, but didn’t argue, which just didn’t bode well for Tony at all. “But Bucky-bear, Bucky baby, I’m not tired! Let me down, damn it!” Tony tried pushing against Bucky’s chest, hoping to pry himself out, but in a blink, Steve was there, gathering his wrists into one hand, steadying his head against Bucky’s shoulder with the other, carefully looking him over. Tony shivered, mostly aroused by how easily the super soldiers were able to handle him, to put him wherever they wanted. His mind suddenly went muddled, hazy. But one thought rose to the surface, and that was how much he still trusted Bucky and Steve. They would never hurt him, he knew. But he wasn’t a baby that needed to be micromanaged!

              “You’re exhausted. C’mon, Buck, we’re getting him up to the bedroom.” Bucky jerked his head in agreement, as Steve squeezed Tony’s wrists in warning before releasing them and moving to lead the way to the elevator. Tony pouted, and even moved his hand up again to resume his struggling, but Steve’s casual “Tony.” combined with another growl from Bucky stopped him, resigned to sulk.

              In the elevator, Steve moved to stand next to Bucky, rubbing circles into Tony’s hairline and forehead, which felt incredible, but… Where had this headache come from? Suddenly, the lights were too bright, and Tony swallowed a whine as he clamped his eyes shut against them. Steve and Bucky both murmured soothingly at him, forcing his body to relax into Bucky’s hold.

              The next thing he knew, Tony was landing in their bed. The sheets felt cool on his skin, the pillows and dim lighting going a long way to cushion the pain throbbing through his skull. He didn’t realize just how sore and achey his muscles were feeling, until he felt his boyfriends stripping him carefully and laying him out, stretching each limb out for him, massaging those spots and joints they knew gave him the most trouble and pain so they didn’t hurt him in rebellion of the unfamiliar stretching, which was nice because he hadn’t realized his body was so tired. He felt as if he could barely move, and it wasn’t until he felt two very solid, very warm, entirely too-comfortable bodies sliding under the sheets on either side of him, that he realized what was going on. A weak shot of adrenaline went through him, and he sat upright in shock, ready to vault over Steve to make his escape back to the lab. Buck was too fast for him, though, and cool metal clamped on his arm, dragged him back down despite his resistance.

              “Guys, come on! I don’t need sleep! I just need to finish this one project, and then I’ll come back up to bed….” Steve twisted onto his side, gently tugged his fingers through Tony’s hair. Leaned down, his breath fanning out against Tony’s ear and hair. Quietly begged. “Tony. Baby. Please. Please get some sleep. It’s harder for us, if you’re not here. Please just. Just stay. Sleep. Rest. Stop hurting yourself.”

              At some point, Bucky had joined in on his pleas. “Doll, we want you here. With us. Safe. Sleep.” Tony found himself stunned by the heartfelt words, by the pain he could feel resonating throughout. The other two took advantage of that, moving his now-pliant limbs so he was lying comfortably. He dimly noticed that he had shuffled to lay on his side, facing Steve. Bucky had plastered himself to his back, spooning him tightly, gripping his waist with his metal arm, an unmovable hold successfully holding him captive in the bed. Steve had reached out and gripped his hands, squeezing each finger rhythmically, massaging his palms, tugging on the joints, encouraging the muscles there to warm and relax. Their legs tangled with Tony’s, holding him down, holding him between them, allowing him nothing but the chance to relax. Steve called for JARVIS to lock the doors, keep the lights low, and to warn the team that they weren’t to be disturbed for the unforeseeable future. At that, Tony attempted again to protest, but by this point, his exhaustion really had caught up to him. Steve still played with his hands, the motions small and soft. Bucky was tracing random designs on his back, on his sternum. There were fingers in his hair, he didn’t know how or whose, but they were warm and comforting. Fingers moved to massage his temples for him, further relieving his headache. He was warm and comfortable, weighed down and unable to do anything but rest.

              Still, he wouldn’t be Tony Stark if he didn’t at least try to kick up a fuss, so the last thing he did before allowing himself to be lulled to sleep was complain, “’M not… sleepy. ‘M’not.” Steve and Bucky’s quiet chuckles echoed in his dreams.

[prettyfunkyunorganized]

Sugar Daddy Hanzo part 13

Hey guys! Hope you all are well. I’m not doing so great today, so forgive me if that shows in my writing. My brain is exhausted and I struggled with writer’s block. 

If you guys ever want to throw ideas at me, I’m super cool with that and I will totally credit you!

Anywho, here’s 2,200-ish words for you. Love ya!

The next few days were spent lazing about with Hanzo and eating the plethora of comfort food your grandparents had left for you, but it was Monday again, and Hanzo had to be off to work. The man was definitely a bachelor, not doing the best of jobs staying quiet as he got ready to leave at a ridiculously early time. You were trying desperately to stay asleep but then heard an onslaught of angry Japanese. A laugh bubbled from your throat – his rare little outbursts always made you smile.

“Hanzo,” you called groggily, “everything okay in there?”

He poked his head out of the door with an apologetic look. “Forgive me, I did not mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you said sitting up and rubbing your eyes, “I can always nap later. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he huffed, glaring at the bathroom behind him.

You stood and ambled over to him sleepily. “So you just felt like curing out my bathroom? I know it’s small, but at least it works.”

“That is not the problem,” Hanzo explained, “I just managed to drop my cufflink down your drain, it all. Just a minor inconvenience. I need to go by my apartment to change anyway.”

“Something special about this cufflink,” you asked, pulling back your hair.

He looked a little sheepish. “No. It is only a trinket.”

“Come on you pressed,” opening up your linen closet and grabbing the mop bucket, “fess up.”

With a bit of confusion on his face, he watched as you began to push all the junk under your sink to the sides to make way for the bucket. “I admit, it has some sentimental value, but what on Earth are you doing?”

“Emptying out the P-trap,” you yawned, “to get you your cufflink.”

“The what?”

“P-trap.”

His frown deepened. “A trap for pee? In the sink?”

You burst out laughing. “No, my cute little rich boy, not that kind of ‘pee.’ Just plumbing. Come here, I’ll show you,” you said gesturing for him to kneel beside you.

He did as instructed and you handed him a flashlight to hold. After losing power while taking a shower, you kept one in every room. As soon as you put on rubber gloves, Hanzo got apprehensive. “My beauty, it is just a cufflink, no need to do anything drastic.”

“It’s basic plumbing,” you grinned, adjust the beam of the flashlight by moving his outstretched hand. “What, will I no longer be a beauty if I get my hands a little dirty?”

“Not at all,” he said, handing you the towel you pointed at, “but I am more than happy to call a plumber to deal with this for you.”

You scoffed, reaching into the back of the cabinet under your sink to shut off the water supply. “No way in hell am I letting you pay for a plumber for this! And the plumbers ‘round here are usually booked for weeks. Just give me a sec, this won’t take longer than a couple of minutes.”

In curious silence, Hanzo watched as you unscrewed the slip nuts on either side of the curvy piece of PVC pipe and let the water trickle out. Once it was all dripped away, you pulled out the bucket and felt around for the little piece of metal. You smiled triumphantly as you pulled out the little silver pin.

“Ta-da!”

Hanzo chuckled at you and shook his head. “Who knew I had fallen for such a handywoman?”

“What can I say,” you shrugged, holding his cufflink out for him to take, “some of us were broke ass college students who couldn’t afford to hire a professional. Thank god for YouTube tutorials.”

His whole body recoiled as you held the slightly soiled piece of metal out, “I don’t suppose you have some rubbing alcohol?”

You giggled, taking off one of your gloves and handing grabbing a nearby bottle. “How did you get by before you met me?”

“A lot of hired help,” he smirked, helping you up. “Thank you for doing this for me, especially after I woke you up so rudely.”

“No worries,” you said, swishing the disinfectant around, “I’ve done it plenty of times with earrings before work.”

With a quick tug, Hanzo pulled you close and kissed the well of your neck. “You are remarkable,” he said wistfully.

“Hanzo,” you laughed, “it’s the most basic plumbing you can do – the opposite of remarkable.”

“One man’s common is another man’s unbelievable,” gazing at you dreamily. His look hade your heart race. “I wish I could stay here with you another day.”

“I get the feeling a workaholic like you has plenty of vacation days built up,” you grinned wrapping your arms around him.

“That I do, but unfortunately I also have a meeting with an international client as well. You know, it has been a very long time since I wanted to take a day off. I have always felt I needed the distraction.”

You gave his cheek a quick peck and toyed with his silken hair. “Lucky for you, I’ve got a ton of vacation days, too. We’ll have to make good use of them soon.”

“Indeed we will,” Hanzo hummed, “but for now, I must go. May I call you later? See if you are up to lunch?”

“Please do,” you nodded, reluctantly letting him go. “I’ll tell you all about the other household repairs I can do.”

“Sounds delightful,” he smiled, kissing you as long as he could before rushing out the door.

You spent the next hours or so pretending you would be productive, but instead fell asleep on the couch.  It was your cell phone blaring away that woke you up in a panic.

“Hello,” you said rubbing your tired eyes. Then came a three hour long, entirely infuriating conversation with your company. They had found out you were released from the hospital and wondered why you were not clocked in. Less than a week after you had been shot point-blank. You were still sore and taking a myriad of drugs to help your body patch itself up. You doctor had told you to stay off your feet as much as possible for a week, and even after that, you were supposed to avoid anything that put too much stress on your body until your next appointment. If anything happened to your injured lung, it could be utterly deadly.

And yet the boss was yelling at you for ‘bungling the Lucio event.’

After your call had been dropped the third time while you were being transferred, you gave up and turned your phone off in a fury. “Fuck that,” you snarled, breathing heavily through your anger. Your pain flared up in response, and you held your chest. “I am not at all ready to go in yet,” you whispered dejectedly. You steadied your breathing and eyed the pain pills on your coffee table. Sure they would help, but opioids scare the hell out of you after watching one of your classmates dissolve into addiction. You snatched your phone and turned it back on.

“This is exactly why ‘do not disturb mode’ is a miracle,” you sighed, scrolling through Facebook and smirking as the office’s calls went right to voicemail. Being petty could feel damn good.

But then a notification reading ‘one missed call from Hanzo’ popped up.

“Oh fucking fuck,” you hissed, rushing to call him back.

“I hope I did not wake you for the second time today,” he said as he answered.

“No, no,” you sighed, “just avoiding someone else’s call.”

“Who is that,” he said gravely.

“Work,” you grumped, “they wanted to know why I wasn’t at my desk and it became a whole thing from there.”

“You were shot in the chest mere days ago,” Hanzo reeled, sounding just as angry as you.

“It’s a load of bullshit,” you griped, “but I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“Why don’t you let me take you out to a late lunch then,” Hanzo offered. “I can meet you at that burger place you told me you were telling me about. ‘Drown your woes in a plate of bacon and cheese covered fries,’ as you said in the hospital.”

“Dear god that sounds amazing you groaned,” getting up to get dressed, “but it doesn’t really seem like your kind of joint. It’s a greasy, hole in the wall kind of place.”

“I trust your judgment,” he said matter of factly, “and I will take off my tie before entering.”

You grinned, knowing he would still stick out like a sore thumb. “Sounds good. I’ll call a cab.”

Sure enough, Hanzo’s suit and sleek appearance had the other patrons raising eyebrows – the place was right next to campus, so most people were in sweats and sneakers. As you slid into the seat across from him, Hanzo gave an unnerving look to the group of guys who were staring at him from across the room. They instantly looked away, and you grinned.

“I probably shouldn’t love it so much when you do that, but I do,” you giggled.

“Do what,” Hanzo asked, sliding a menu over to you. He had left his gloves, probably a sign that he thought this place was grimy – which it was, but that was all part of the charm.

“You know, scaring the shit out of people with a look.”

His brow furrowed a bit until you nodded toward the table of young men. “Ah,” he said casually, “I suppose it is an automatic reaction for me now.”

“You make it sound like you’ve been stared at a lot,” you hinted.

“I have,” he explained, “ever since I was a child.”

“Care you elaborate?” He hesitated, as he always did when his childhood came up. “Come on,” you pleaded, “you don’t have to tell me much, but if this thing between us isn’t going to implode there’s got to be a little more give and take. You know I won’t judge you.”

Hanzo sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair, “I suppose you are right.” He looked out the window and spoke quietly. “My family was very prominent where I am from, and as children, Genji and I were recognized and notable – and therefore scrutinized – from a young age. We were taught we were superior and in turn taught that we were feared. I especially took to this idea, cultivating an image and persona that kept others beneath me.”

You leaned across the table and ran a few fingers up his arm. Hanzo looked to you for a brief moment before looking down, as if ashamed. “Sounds to me like you were pressured into acting that way.”

“Even if I was,” he huffed, “I still had a choice to act otherwise, and I did not. My brother was able to be his own man, even though he was raised much the same way.”

“No one said being a kid and learn the ways of the world was easy,” you assured him, “we all did stuff we’re not proud of. But you’re moving forward, that means a lot.”

He gave you a thin smile. “I think you give me too much credit.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Did you, or you not just say something revealing about yourself?”

“I did, but I hardly think one small change constitutes ‘moving forward.’”

“It’s all about baby steps, handsome baby steps.”

The two of you ordered and ate a delicious bounty of unhealthy, happy-inducing food, Hanzo slowly loosening up. He even admitted the greasy fare ‘did, in fact, have decent flavor.’ Eventually, he set down his fork and gave you a knowing look.

“What is it,” you asked warily.

“Are we going to talk about your job making you upset now, or not?”

You groaned loudly. “Do we have to? I don’t want to ruin such a nice lunch with you, and I get the feeling I’ll be battling the bosses for the rest of the day.”

“Very well,” he said, sipping his drink, “but let me know if I can help, will you? I am more than happy to rain hell upon anyone for you.”

“Aw shucks,” you laughed, “you’re so sweet and intimidating.”

He scoffed. “I believe I can count on one hand the people who think I am sweet.”

“Just me?”

Hanzo thought a moment, “Very probably, yes.”

You smiled warmly at him, and he did the same, making you flush and toy with your necklace. Something in the back of your mind was suddenly clawing for attention. “Hanzo?”

“Yes,” he asked, still gazing at you.

“When are we going to talk about what we’re doing here? How we label this? Where we want it to go?”

He sighed and stroked his chin. “I know we need to, but I admit that I have been holding the conversation at bay.”

“You care about me, don’t you,” you asked softly.

“This morning you said you’d, well, ‘fallen for me.’ I not going to make you say any weighty words or anything, but you’re invested in us, right? You’re going to meet me halfway and talk to me and – ”

Hanzo reached across the table and took your hand, “I am completely dedicated to you. If you need anything from me or our relationship, you need only ask. I am here for you, as you have always been there for me.”

“Good,” you smiled, “I guess I just needed to hear it.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, “I will be sure to tell you often. I adore you, and everything about you.”

@collinssie @watch-your-grammer @zarcake-writes @yesthisisbae @eebbapanda1@deercapitate @missbumblina@skyrina@justjaaaay@thewetbones@skyelentnight @ilovebva@punk-dork @cbrokeherboobs@sobanoodledragon@sydniesamm@honeyburger@knightofsexyness @queenoflabyrinths@speakingishard@iknowimcutethanks @ninevast@ivymarquis @sydniesamm@barbie-the-centrist@tumblertrash@angle0fthegourd@shaybae1997 @lillypet95 @rusty-potato@tt-nikithakppr @honeydew-do-you @kitties-and-unicorns @spookymf@seachelle-the-tideborn

** please let me know if you would like to be tagged or removed from the tags in future updates and sorry if I missed anyone, I feel like tumblr is deleting my shit**

[karmaticinstitution]

Sleep to Rise Again

BakuDeku Positivity Week 2018 || Rise

WC: 2242 | Chapters : 1/2

Bakudeku sleeping habits over the years.

  Bakugou at age five rioted at the prospect of naps, at having a bedtime, at being forced to rest. He was a force of nature, nearly impossible to put to bed. There was too much thrill to being awake, too much excitement for him to stuff it down in favor of something as pathetic as rest. Sleep was for the weak. Heroes didn’t have time for sleep.

  Or that’s how it seemed when Bakugou was five years old.

  “Katsuki. It’s. Time. For. Bed.” Mitsuki scolded through gritted teeth, trying to drag her runt of a son away from the latest battle in Musutafu being covered on the news. It was far too late for him to be sat on the floor, eyes glued to the television screen to absorb every detail and commit it to memory.

  “Deku’s going to know all about it without me then,” he yells back with far more aggression than the average five year old should be able to contain in such a small body.

  “You have school tomorrow,” she fires back, still trying to pull him away from the spot he’s still trying to keep himself into, keeping his center of gravity low and clinging to whatever he can.

  “Exactly! How can we talk about it tomorrow if I don’t know what happens!” Resistance is nearly futile with Katsuki as she finally lets go, unceremoniously dropping him back onto the floor.

  “Izuku probably hasn’t seen it either. He’s probably already in bed, unlike you, brat.” she tries to reason with him. If his best friend can’t be used as motivation, she doesn’t know what will work at this point. It’s the same battle every single day.

  She huffs, dissatisfied with this losing battle, “You can finish this one and then bed. Don’t complain about being tired tomorrow.”

  He hardly even acknowledges her, riveted on the screen once more as he sees explosions in the background, fascinated by the heroes on display. Stifling a yawn, he tries to form a miniature explosion to match the ones on the screen, amazed with his new quirk development.

  “How many times do I have to tell you: no quirks in the house, Katsuki.” Mitsuki opens one eye from where she sits waiting on the couch behind him, falling asleep. He barely pays her any mind, not unusually, until he himself dozes off on the carpet, television still playing recaps of the fight from earlier that day.

  She tuts as she picks him up easily now that he’s dead to the world, unable to stay awake any longer, and tucks him into bed. Sleep is when he defies every opinion anyone forms of Bakugou in the daytime: quiet, sweet, and peaceful. She smiles knowing this is definitely not going to be the case.

  And it definitely isn’t when he wakes up ready to wreak havoc on the world, stomping through their apartment and crankily yelling first thing in the morning while he brushes his teeth. At least she gets a few hours where her son isn’t a complete brat.

When Bakugou is fifteen, he loves to sleep. He adores it, worships the bed he sleeps on and is grateful for any second of slumber he can get.

  Days at Yuuei are exhausting with the way he puts his all into powering his quirk, competing with his classmates, trying to be better on his way to becoming the number one hero of his generation.

  He just got his hero costume, exact to its measurements, composed exactly as he’d requested with what are effectively grenades on his hands. It’s about a week in and he’s still adjusting, as most of his peers are, except for those who’re already near perfection (Todoroki) or aren’t impacted by their costume (Jirou). He heads to the locker rooms, grimy and drenched in sweat. It soaks through his tank top, leaving it to cling to his form.

  Unlocking the door to his unit, he eyes himself in the mirror, seeing the darkening bags beneath his eyes. Kirishima’s shoulders drop at his own form, “Man, that could have gone so much better.”

  He doesn’t even bother looking to know Kaminari is also upset by their loss as a team, but also woozy after short-circuiting, left drooling and running on automatic until he can recharge with some food, a battery, and a nap.

  “Oh, man. Do you think they can get this fixed before next time,” Midoriya bemoans from his seat on the bench. Bakugou remembers the wreck of his costume, he’s most of the reason it’s torn off his body and Midoriya is half naked with only the bare minimum hanging off his core.

  Bakugou slides off his grenades, locking them up for safekeeping, watching Todoroki come up behind Midoriya. He slides a hand over his bare back, “I don’t think this can be fixed at all.”

  Iida chimes in, “Have you considered a different material entirely? Perhaps something that…,” a glance at the ruins of the green fabric, “doesn’t end up gone after every battle.”

  Midoriya sighs, face rubbing the grime on his face. Bakugou spares a moment as he tugs off his arm sleeves, glazing over Midoriya’s figure, noting the freckles spackling his shoulders, the scars branding his body, the definition of his muscle.

  He slams his locker door shut to snap himself out of his reverie, “I’m going to bed. None of you fucks bother me tonight.”

  His friends are all too quick to nod, knowing how seriously Bakugou takes his sleep. The last time someone tried to interrupt, calling Bakugou down for a game in the lounge, Kirishima got a fist to the face and barely managed to harden his skin in time. Nobody is willing to make the same mistake twice.

   At age sixteen, he values his sleep, but he resents it, the way it leaves him more tired than when he went to bed, the way it lets his mind wander and reinvent his capture, grasping at any rest free of nightmares.

  “Bakugou Katsuki, more villainous than a hero,” Dabi taunts him from the nearest bar stool.

  He fights it, thrashing against his seat, hands restrained and mouth enclosed in a metal barrier. He’s treated like a feral animal, chained up and quieted against his every will. It’s just a dream and he can tell by the way his hands clip through the cuffs like a video game glitch. It doesn’t stop the echoing in his head, sounding all too real.

  “If you try anything, you’ll just blow up your own hands. And then you’re what?”

  “Unloved?” Twice chimes in from his lean against the opposite wall. “No, no. Pathetic,” he changes his mind.

  Himiko bends towards him, finger to her chin and licks her lips, “A bloody,” he can hear her salivating in surround sound, “bloody,” she squeals, “ mess .”

  He can feel tears pricking his eyes. It’s true , his mind doesn’t ease him any.

  “He’s an asshole. Nothing more than a success of his quirk. What, when he doesn’t have it?”

Shigaraki doesn’t move, but directs some of his hands towards Bakugou, hovering the loose limbs over his wrists. He taps his dried fingers on the skin, leaving Bakugou’s skin crawling with an itch nobody could scratch. He thrashes under the touch to no avail.

  “Maybe we can find out if he doesn’t want to join us. I could just...,” He presses four fingers into his skin at once. His muscles are tense, taught under the tension in his veins and the skin goes white from the pressure of Shigaraki’s touch, digging into the tissue.

  He can see the last finger approaching his skin, almost in slow motion and he screams. The metal wrapped around his face digs into his cheeks and springs tears to his eyes. His face red in anger, in frustration at this weakness. Why isn’t Deku here yet? Is his last thought as he continues to scream, muffled under the muzzle until he’s not there anymore.

  And he’s thrashing against his sheets, sweating and panting. His screams die out, only a hollow noise coming through his open mouth as his eyes take in his surroundings. When he finally regains his breath, he’s sprawled out, sheets pushed off to the side. He shudders, chest heaving as he looks at the time, a bright white 3:06 displayed on his phone.

He groans, wishing for some undisturbed sleep for once, but it doesn’t seem to be coming any time soon.

   At eighteen, Bakugou misses the bare minimum of sleep he used to get because it’s even less now. Being a hero is everything expected, but it’s also more the way he leaves early in the morning and trudges in, barely willing to cook and eat dinner, before sleeping in the middle of the night. Even then, he’s on call and frequently at that.

  He slides into his apartment, sparse with belongings and minimalistic in design. It has a few photos hung on the walls and they shake when he slams the door shut behind him in exhaustion. He sees a few in the corner of his eye as he walks to his room. He doesn’t need to look to know exactly what they look like.

  Midoriya and him playing with an All Might action figure in their youth. His parents and him after his eighth birthday. It was just them, not that he’d had many friends at the time which was entirely his fault. He’s acknowledged that after some time. It’s a large time gap between that photo and the next— a series of him and Midoriya. His eighteenth birthday party, more of a get-together with the people he finally considers something of friends. Midoriya’s eighteenth birthday party, much more populated, with an entire crowd of attendees, but all of the photos from that night have Midoriya’s eyes glued to Bakugou. The pair of them hanging over each other after graduation, celebratory thrill embedded in their expressions.

  He trudges into his bedroom, shucking off extra layers of clothes to get more comfortable. He wraps himself in the fluffy blankets layered on his bed and plugging his phone in on the bedside table. He gets comfortable, still unused to the new apartment, settling into the mattress. The second his breathing evens out and his joints are relieved of the tension from the day he hears his phone chime.

  He groans, reaching over to slam his hand across the screen and put an end to the buzzing.

  “Meeting at 7, Ground Zero. No need for costumes,” his boss curtly informs.

  He counts it a win that he doesn’t have to get ready in the morning, grunting in response and cutting off the call. He sighs, rolling over to try and fall asleep for the second time.

   When Bakugou is twenty years old, he gets as much sleep as he can, taking in mornings he gets off, finally being acknowledged with some benefits as a hero and getting less of the shitty shift times. At twenty years old, Bakugou is also as deep in the throes of love as he can get. He’s also in love with an absolute fool who, for whatever reason, is also head over heels for him.

  Bakugou used to think mornings were warm and glowy like a hallmark film or like when he’d have breakfast in the Midoriya household on Sunday mornings after a sleepover when he was little. He also used to think mornings were meant for getting up and tackling the day with vigor.

  At twenty years old, he finds out that mornings, before the sun rises, are blue and grey, bleary and bright. He also finds out that as much as he loves to sleep and hates to cut it short, he much prefers to see Midoriya curled up on his side of their bed in their apartment.

  He gets to see Midoriya, soft and comfortable, always touching Bakugou in some way. In the summer heat, it’s sometimes just a finger wrapped around his own. Too hot to be touching and too much sweat ready to pour between them both even with as little as they wear and as few blankets as possible. In the winter, they’re tangled together, in any way they can. Legs entwined, pressing every inch of skin together.

  Sometimes Midoriya is already wrapped in his arms, snuggled against his chest and Bakugou will wake up, squeezing him closer, relishing in this time he gets for himself, for just the two of them together. Sometimes he traces patterns against his soft skin, dragging them across worn scars and counting the freckles that form constellations on his body. But that’s nothing compared to the way the way Midoriya fills his world, making galaxies look small, his eyes brighter than the sun, and making him believe in soulmates.

  Other times, he gets a limb, outstretched towards him, but keeping space between them. And from there he stays put, watching the rise and fall of Midoriya’s chest as he continues to sleep. The mornings after a rough day at work, Bakugou is greeted with a trail of drool on Midoriya’s lips accompanied by a small snore. These days, he can’t help but snort and wonder how he got so lucky, even when Midoriya will try to kiss him with his stale, drooly breath.

  At twenty, Bakugou still worships sleep, but he’s so in love and mornings with Midoriya quickly outweigh an extra few minutes of sleep.

[k-itsmaywriting]

Vessels (AI/Android!AU)

CONTENT WARNINGS: body modification, body horror, vehicle incidents

“No problems, Master. She still hasn’t had any severe malfunctions.”

Obi jumps onto the sidewalk just as a horn blasts in his ears. He turns over his shoulder to watch the truck trailer swerve around the corner in the shadow of blinding blue and purple lights, driver flipping him off.

“And her productivity?”

He enters the small apartment building and climbs to the second floor, fishing for his keys in his coat pocket.

“Lower than usual.” He huffs lowly as shoves the key into the lock and turns it. “I’ve never seen Shirayuki take so many naps before.”

The door opens and Obi stills in the entrance. In the living room inside, the hem of a dress and a stocking foot slip behind the kitchen wall. Shirayuki calls, “I’m almost ready, Obi! Just let me close the kitchen window!”

“But she seems to have woken up while I was at work. She’s as energetic as ever now...”

“That’s good. We can’t have her fall behind on her work much more, or brother would be more than unimpressed.”

“Well, she texted me earlier that she’s feeling well enough to be back at work tomorrow. And I’m off the clock now too, so if you’ll excuse us, Master,” he says, voice chipper, “my best friend and I have a night out to get to.”

He hangs up, just as Shirayuki crouches to slip into and buckle her kitten heels. She straightens to meet him with a smile. “Shall we go, Obi?”

When he’s with Shirayuki, it’s like breathing fresh air again.

When cars roar and screech through city roads, her voice is soft in the suffocating smog. When bright lights smear and blur in the concrete jungles, the fiery red hair and sea green eyes ground him in time and space, the only existence he can be sure of in a city with too many people doing too many different things in too many different places.

But when Shirayuki looks at Obi, she sees history, memories of innocence, laughter and warmth under the sun. To her he is safety and honesty, a life-long friend. She sees them as two souls together in a wide world that were lucky to find each other when they needed each other the most, and have stayed together since.

But that’s not really the truth.

Not when Zen paid Obi for finishing building her in a Wisteria lab just eight months ago.

“Obi, look, there’s a special event here tonight.”

Obi turns around, and Shirayuki is standing outside a restaurant, reading the scrawling on the window. “They’re serving chocolate dumplings and cocktails, all you can eat! There’s a board game too!”

“No way!” He stumbles back next to her. “How much?”

Shirayuki suddenly holds onto his wrist as they both read the swirls of rainbow markers on the window between them and the warmly lit restaurant inside together. “$20 per person for a banquet offering, including a selection of in-house favourites of chocolates and cocktails.”

“The two-person game navigates diners through truth-or-dare style questions…” Obi reads, “the concept has continued to entertain…” he stops, trying not to click his tongue, “…couples.”

Shirayuki immediately turns to him, a little too quickly. “We can pretend.”

Obi blinks. “…What?”

“We can just pretend. I mean, look,” she points at the sign on the door, “it says the game is designed for first dates, so all the questions will be about getting to know each other. But it’s…easy for us, right? Since we’ve been best friends since high school?”

Ah, right. High school. He forgets he’s supposed to pretend he spent three whole years there sometimes.

He nods. “Yeah, you’re right. It’ll be easy.”

Shirayuki smiles, but, it’s different than usual. It’s more reserved, hidden in the dim lights reflecting stars in her eyes and blush in her cheeks.

Though, it’s not a lie either.

Shirayuki was designed entirely, from the expert database in her brain to her passion for conservationism. Izana only really needed intelligence and work ethic, but Zen wanted to push the boundaries. He wanted cognitive thinking, memories and personality, as close to a human as possible – for further advancement, he had said.

The only real difference between Shirayuki and a human is where and how she was created, and the parts inside her body. She’s still Obi’s companion and friend, even if the history is different.

But it always hurts to lie to a friend.

Shirayuki and Obi gave up on the board game five minutes in. They decided to kick back in the corner booth with a pile of truth cards each and stacks of bamboo steamers the table between them, steaming with the dumplings inside.

Obi snorts. “Okay, this is an interesting one. What book have you read so many times that the cover is wearing?”

“Hmm…probably…” Shirayuki thinks for a while, head tilted, but eventually smiles sheepishly. “The first botany book I ever got from my grandparents. I literally tore the spine from the sheer amount of times I read it.”

Ah, he remembers putting that one in. It took the mechanics and psychologists weeks to figure out how to input fabricated memories straight into the long-term storage for the first time.

Obi takes another dumpling and devours it in a bite as Shirayuki flips over her next card. “So, Obi,” she says, “How many houses have you lived in? What was the first one like?”

He tries really hard not to sigh. At least he’s rehearsed this one before.

“One childhood home in the suburbs, and now our lovely little apartment near Poet.” He fakes a smile. “So, two.”

In truth, it is only two if he counts that rundown shack in the wastelands a home. He doubts anyone outside Wistal is any different, with the government hoarding the country’s little resources into one city for luxurious living, leaving everyone else struggling to survive almost thirty years after the meteor set the world on fire.

Obi flips his next card over. “Shirayuki!”

“Yes!”

“The last lie you told and why?!”

Man, is he glad he was not asked that one.

Shirayuki laughs, “You know how I told you the other day that I woke up at 9:30?! I actually woke up at 12!”

“Well, aren’t you wild!?”

“Alright then, what was the craziest day you’ve ever had?” She kicks back into the seat and folds her arms. “I can think of a few of yours from high school! Devoured a whole cafeteria tray of pasta in one sitting at lunch, then fought two seniors at once for not leaving a teacher alone ten minutes later. Then there was the time you escaped English through the window…”

Shirayuki’s voice fades in his ringing ears. None of those stories could compare to the truth.

He lost count of the amount of days he spent traveling that time, but it didn’t matter anymore. Not when he had pulled up in front of a dense forest and a fucking jackpot inside – an endless stream of old cars between the trees, drowning in regrowth that crawled through the broken windows and over hoods and boots. It was probably a highway before the meteor hit. He was just surprised no one else was near it.

He leapt onto the nearest car roof and screwed his crowbar into the hood, cranking it down to break it. He scavenged for any parts that were usable, that he could sell. It took him until sundown to get through even a third.

When night fell, he squeezed through a broken window into the backseat of the nearest four-wheel drive and dropped his bag next to him, bulging with sellable parts. Obi huddled into his sleeping bag, long legs constantly knocking against the door or the driver’s seat – it had been a while since he slept outside like this. And he was getting too tall. If he followed the old highway, he was sure he would’ve been able to find a small town eventually. His chest filled with a little hope as he fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, there was a crash.

Obi jolted awake, immediately grabbing for his crowbar. He held his breath and pressed his back further into the seat. There was no rustling in the regrowth, no human breath or groaning in pain. Taking his bag, Obi slipped out the car window and eased himself back into the regrowth. Further down the highway, a bright light behind another car illuminates the dark. The static of a dying radio breaks the silence.

“Ryuu, can you come in? It’s Zen.”

The voice went on as Obi crept closer to the light, asking for an answer, but the one named Ryuu never responded. He tightened his grip on the crowbar as he peeked behind the car. He meant to swing at it, break the radio immediately and do the same to the guy’s head, but—

It was…a boy, but not really, crumpled against the car door. At least, it looked like a human boy. The electric circuits sparking from his unmoving joints and the hologram image of a young man projecting from his eyes told him otherwise.

The man in the hologram silenced and turned to Obi immediately. His eyes narrowed. “Did you do this?”

He meant to just bust the android’s eyes out, to cut the connection and steal him away. But instead he held his breath. “And if I did? What would you do?”

“Not that anyone could ever give you the monetary value of him, but nothing that would make any of your scavenging worth it,” he said. “So I suggest you answer properly.”

Obi looked the hologram up and down. “No, I didn’t. I heard a crash and came here.”

The young man, Zen, sighed. “A breakdown on the first mission…that is not good at all. I really do not want to use more resources to retrieve him…”

People on the Outside had been talking about the idea of holograms and…and androids, but no one ever thought to be able to actually build them since the meteor hit. The only people who ever could’ve ever made them, much less control them, were the Insiders of Wistal. And considering it had only been 30 years, at least one of them was probably in new development. It would’ve been especially problematic for Outsiders to get their hands on their newest technology – it would’ve meant they could catch up, compete for the Earth’s little resources that Wistal needed…

…If he found a way to fix this android…

Zen suddenly turned to him again. “Don’t you even think about it. I know your face. If you dare break this radio you will not see the light of day again.”

Obi clicked his tongue. So much for that idea. How about…

“Then I’ll fix him and bring him back to you,” he said.

“And how exactly are you going to do that?”

“What matters is that I will. And after I do, you will either pay me a hefty ass repair fee, or take me back to Wistal as a mechanic.”

He didn’t think Zen could look even more unimpressed and disbelieving than before, but clearly he was wrong. He stood there for a while, probably waiting for Obi to say he was joking. “Fine,” he said, folding his arms. “We’ll need all the worthy hands we can get – you have yourself a deal.” His voice darkens, “But if you don’t finish by sunset tomorrow, you will be captured for possession of classified information and materials.”

“Don’t underestimate me,” Obi growled. “I might be a scavenger, but it’s parts from your drones and surveillance machinery that makes our world go ‘round.”

He barely did it in time, but he did fix Ryuu. After Zen took him back to Wistal, he helped improve him. Made him closer to the human boy he used to be, apparently. But soon, they moved onto building an android from scratch to be his partner. Together they would help save the Earth, Izana had said at the first project meeting, but for whose benefit, Obi wasn’t sure.

Four and a half years later, Shirayuki opened her eyes for the first time.

“Obi, are you alright?”

Obi snaps wider awake. When he looks across the table, Shirayuki has her lips pressed into a thin line. “You’re probably tired from work, huh? Should we go home?”

He nods slowly. “Y…yeah, I think I’m just tired.”

The next thing he knows, Shirayuki tells him she paid the bill and cool night breeze brushes against his face as they step out the door. Pedestrians and cars alike still fill the streets. Everything reverts into blurs and smears against the night to the point Shirayuki has to hold him by the wrist and pull him along with her.

“Just a couple more crossings and we’re home,” Shirayuki says, looking up at him worriedly as she lets go of him at the Starlight’s crossing. “Did something happen? You seemed okay before we went out.”

“I’m…fine,” Obi breathes. He’s not fine at all. Everything feels heavy, and his body cracks whenever he needs to move. “I just…I think I just need to go home.”

She nods sympathetically. “I feel you.”

He’s growing impatient by the second. He pokes his head further out into the crossing, and sees no cars coming from the left. “Shirayuki, come on.” He stumbles out into the crossing.

From behind him, Shirayuki yells, “Obi, no! The light’s still red!”

He turns around, “There’s no one coming—!”

A horn blares.

In the corner of his eye, he sees two lights ripping into his eyes. Then he’s flying, sky gliding above him as he flings across the road. His body rolls against the bitumen like a ragdoll. Screeching tyres and car horns erupt around him. It comes to a stop, eventually, and then he can only see the black sky and a streetlight in the corner of his eye.

Heels pound on the road towards his ear. Closer, closer. The light starts to fade.

He sees green – Shirayuki leaning over him and screaming while her hands grab at his. Hang in there, she’s saying, the ambulance is coming soon.

Her hand moves further up his arm, but pain suddenly flashes across her face. She pulls back, eyes wide, almost white.

Obi thinks he can move his arm a little – see what made her draw away. It feels like forever, the time it takes to drag his shoulder while his head falls to the side. He expects blood and purple skin, probably broken bones and ripped muscle at the worst.

But when he sees metal, red and blue and green wires, some cut others not with strings of sparks crackling down his forearm, it’s like his heart stops. His eyes snap back to Shirayuki’s above him, green clouded in confusion and horror. His heart races faster. This isn’t right. He…he’s not the one who is…it’s meant to be her—

Everything is black, but he doesn’t feel his eyes close.