#reading the same 2(two) fanfiction everyday for a week inspired me

[scionsthings]

Charles x Javier? 🤨

Chavier?? 🤯

Waddaheeeeeeell-

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Writing smut without cringing the whole time? How do you do it.

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW RELATED CONTENT BELOW.

The short answer, nonnie, is: you don’t. 

That is to say, writing smut is always kind of cringe—especially if you’re new to it, or simply “not in the mood” to write. 

But rest assured, feeling embarrassed is completely natural. The trick is learning how to overcome the cringe when it does happen, instead of letting it deter you.

I’m going to break this up into a few sections: 1) Why you might be feeling this way, 2) How I, personally, combat the issue, and 3) Some more tips that might help you get the ball rolling.

1. Why You “Cringe”

It’s important to find the root cause of any form of writer’s block so you can pull the weed out instead of just trimming it back. Smut writer’s block is its own special brand, and generally, the main issue writers have when it comes to smut is stigma.

Speaking openly and honestly about sex, in Western society, is still very much a taboo.

No matter how “progressive” we like to think we are, the inherent shame surrounding pleasure-seeking experiences, and the detailing/consumption of them, has been ground into us since we learned how to understand the concept of gratification.

And I’m not just talking about sexual gratification. This applies to everyday things, as well. Eating, shopping, relaxing (or doing virtually anything in capitalist society that does not directly contribute to capitalism).

So it makes sense that you would feel any amount of embarrassment, awkwardness, or “cringe” when writing smut. It’s something our society teaches us is wrong to want. Unfortunately, that shame translates to writer’s block when we sit down in front of the computer.

A lot of this blockage might stem from not giving ourselves permission to write the thing.

We’re staring at the blank document, knowing we want to write smut, and suddenly the thoughts start streaming in: This feels wrong, is this wrong? What if someone comes in and looks over my shoulder while I’m writing? Am I describing this right? Is this too unrealistic? I have NO idea what I’m doing, and everyone is going to know it.

These are all perfectly normal thoughts, and definitely ones I still have from time to time. But they’re also probably the direct cause of why you feel so blocked. Luckily, I have some bits of advice to give you on how to unblock yourself.

2. How I Combat Smut Block

✦ First, when the intrusive thoughts occur, instead of ruminating on them, think of each one as an impermanent object. You can use any metaphor, but I like to use the imagery of leaves:

Each negative thought is a leaf floating down the river of your mind. If you focus only on the leaf, you’ll exert a lot of energy running to try and keep up with it, consequently miss everything else around you. But if you acknowledge that leaf as a temporary part of the scenery, and let is pass, you can process and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings a whole lot better.

Remember: you are separate from your thoughts. You are not defined by them. The things you think sound stupid might be incredibly exciting to someone else. 

If you can string a sentence together, you can write smut. This is all part of giving yourself permission to write the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

✦ Second, I’d suggest giving good thought to how you personally experience embarrassment, how you experience excitement (of the sexual variety), and how those two might sometimes commingle or feel similar.

For me, they are very comparable, like different shades of the same emotion—but there are differences which are important to note. 

If I’m making myself blush from excitement, this is a very good thing for writing smut. It means that what I’m writing feels real enough to evoke something in the reader, even if the reader, like me, knows what’s going to happen.

If I’m making myself cringe, however, it may be time to take a step back and readjust my perspective.

✦ Third, ease yourself into it! Don’t jump straight in the deep end and expect to know how to keep your head above water if you’ve never swum before.

The way I eased myself into smut was first by writing “Steam”—a category of fic I made up because the current vocabulary lacked an efficient term for fics that straddled emotional romance and explicit content. 

Essentially, steam is smut-adjacent but not explicit, and here’s a step-by-step example of how I transitioned myself smoothly from one genre to the next:

I first wrote my fics Wicked Game and You Are (both of which feature either a heavy make out session or teasing + lots of sexual tension) with this “steam” concept in mind.

I wrote the first chapter of Fine Line, which has brief but explicit descriptions of fantasies, framed by a very sexually charged scene.

I released my fic Crashing, which is probably more of a bridge between Steam and Smut, and features soft-focus fingering. Nothing in it is explicit—it focuses more on the emotions than explicit detail—but it’s very clear what is happening.

After I wrote those, I felt just confident enough to make that final stride over the threshold into smut. I wrote my fics Holy, King, and the second chapter of Fine Line all within weeks of each other.

And trust me when I say, once you get the momentum going and receive that validation from people who’ve read your work, it becomes SO much easier to sit down and start writing. 

You just have to finish that first piece.

✦ Finally (and I know I’m going to sound cliche when I say this), just like any other skill, the more you practice the more confident you will feel and the better you will get. 

So practice, practice, practice! 

If you’re nervous about posting smut for the first time, have a trusted friend/mutual Beta read it for you. It’s the online equivalent to someone holding your hand before jumping off the cliff, and works wonders for the nerves.

3. Keep The Smut Rolling

Now that you have some tools to help get you past the blockage of writing smut, here’s how to keep the inspiration flowing.

✦ Start by incorporating smutty fanfiction/erotic fiction into your regular reading rotation- 

Of course AO3 is a fantastic resource for smutty fanfiction. 

If you’re a fan of TFOTA or ACOTAR and want some of my personal fic recs, visit my fic rec masterlist.

In terms of erotic fiction, my personal favourites are anything Anais Nin (specifically Henry & June and Delta of Venus), The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone, The Godwicks series by Tiffany Reisz, and The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz.

There are also sites like Literotica and sexstories.com, which play host to explicit short fiction (not fandom based).

✦ Next, I’d recommend having a designated digital space for smutspiration- 

This can be a list of “smutty” words/phrases kept on a separate document on your computer, for those days when you just can’t think of the right way to describe something. 

Or you can create a private side-blog or Pinterest board for your favourite smutty fanart or other kinds of visual smutspiration.

✦ For that matter, try following some smutty/18+ blogs (ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) here on Tumblr-

Many of them have a plethora of what I like to call “lemony snippets”, a.k.a. short text posts that describe (usually in conversational language) explicit scenarios. 

This is useful because it will normalise the concept of sexual fantasies in your brain, making it less weird for you when you try to come up with ones of your own to write into smut. 

Not to mention, your dash will be rife with inspiration.

✦ I would also suggest checking out 18+ ASMR on YouTube (AGAIN, ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+). 

My favourite account is Professor Cal Official, but Auralescent also has some good content. 

Headphones are highly advisable for this, as their stuff is very dangerous for work.

So, nonnie, I hope this has provided you with at least one helpful tip. Whether you took anything away from this or not, just know that the feelings of embarrassment when it comes to writing smut are entirely normal. And the best way to keep those feelings at bay is to confront them head on. 

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist

2K Celebration!

[belanger2416]

Ok so I’m gonna try to do this:

I know I’m late and I’m probably not gonna post everyday but it’s gonna be a small challenge for me as it will familiarize me with fanfiction by giving me a guideline. It’ll probably be a torture for you to read but feel free to ignore it. I may also not do them all and give up at some point if I notice it’s too much with school and work and all. I also won’t do them in order because I’ll be choosing the ones that inspire me the most. Also sorry they are probably gonna be short 😅

So here’s the first one I’m doing: Number 17; Cold

Cold

Pairing: Loki x fem!Reader

Word count: 711

Summary: You come back from work freezing and your boyfriend, Loki does something about it

“This snow storm outside is raging!”, you said as you closed the door of your appartement. You’ve had this appartement for about 2 years and have been sharing it with your boyfriend, Loki, for about a year. You two have met while he was on a mission. He had gotten hurt and you, a woman who had taken the first aids class, had spotted him and went to tend to his injuries as best as you could even if it endangered your life. You both got hypnotized by the other and mere weeks after, you two were a thing. You now lived together and you both couldn’t be happier in this healthy relationship. Tonight was no different than the other nights. As always, when you came back from work, Loki was reading a book in his chair, waiting for you to come back. He looked up at you but instead of his normally soft and sweet eyes looking at you with love, his look quickly turned to concern as he saw that you were trembling. “Are you okay darling? You look like you’re freezing!” “Well this storm was unexpected and I didn’t take a coat with me this morning. Stupid decision.” “Come here I’m gonna warm you up” He got up from his chair gesturing for you to get in it. He then disappeared to your room and a few minutes later, he came back with your favorite blanket. It was a blanket he had bought you a few months ago. It was so soft you almost couldn’t believe it when you first took it. It was your favourite color: Teal. He just thought of you when seeing it thus offering it to you as a gift. You thanked him for the blanket and snuggled up in it while he disappeared again, this time in the kitchen. He came back about ten minutes later, two cups of jasmin green tea, your favorite, in his hands. Instead of giving one to you though, he settled both of them on the living room coffee table and then took you in his arms bridal style. Not understanding what he was doing, you let out a playful and surprised scream as he took you to the sofa in the living room where you would have enough room to cuddle. He kissed you softly as you settled on the couch, both of you snuggling with the blanket. You then took the cup of tea in your hands, enjoying the heat on your hands, still cold. “This is nice” you said softly. Loki chucked softly, kissing you forehead. You could feel him smile in the kiss, making you blush slightly from the affection. He then asked “Shall we order takeout darling? I don’t know for you but having food delivered to us while we just stay here together never sounded better before” You laughed softly and agreed with him. You both settled on pizza for dinner tonight. He grabbed the phone on the table, dialed the number by heart and ordered. The pizza arrived 30 minutes later; minutes that passed too quickly to both your liking, neither of you wanting to get up from your comfortable position. You proposed to go but Loki insisted that you stay all snuggled up, getting up at the same time to keep you from saying no. He came back a few seconds later, the smell of the food making you realize how hungry you were. It didn’t take long for the pizza to be completely eaten. You then settled on watching a movie and put on something on Netflix. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep all snuggled up in Loki’s arms. He couldn’t help but admire your sleeping figure, wondering what he did to deserve such an amazing woman in his life. He turned off the TV and brought you to your bed, cuddling next to you. You woke up in the process but as you were about to drift off again, you looked at him with your sleepy eyes and thanked him for the night. “I love you”, you said softly. “I love you too” he answered with the same soft tone you used. You cuddled and it didn’t take long for you both to drift off.

So here it is I guess. I’m actually nervous about publishing this on my blog but I’m doing it anyway. If you read this I’d really like if you could give me feedback on what I could do to make it better. That would be really appreciated 😊

Tagging some mutuals who might be interested in this (no pressure on you to read it knowing you are not all Loki blogs): @lovesmesomehiddles @justanotherpadawan @mcu-padawan @anakin-danvers @lets-do-get-help @whatafuckingdumbass @obaby-wan @ohhellokenobi @nobie @lokiloveforever @lokihiddleston and anyone else I might have forgotten

[tuz-on-ao3]

Process/Organizational post for writing for KakuSaku month(and in general)

So, to provide some context here. When I started writing fanfiction one of the things I hit into was my lack of an organizational process and a lack of a coherent understanding of my own personal writing process. So I started doing research into other authors, both fanfiction and published. 

I learned a lot from the Deadline City podcast , hosted by two women of color who have published a lot of works between the two of them. Story Grid the podcast helped out a lot as well. I also started reading with more intent. I re-read some of my favorite fanfiction and tried to identify what the authors did really well, and what I could do better. 

I pay special attention to dialogue because I am bad at it. I pay attention to worldbuilding because I love it. I pay attention to characterization because it is hard as shit. I also reached out to some fanfic authors as well, I became friends with @pandorasbox014​ , who is such a lovely and funny person as well as a brilliant writer of Running Out of Reasons. It is a KakuSaku fic and one for the defining works of the fandom and a study in how to write the Naruto characters in a modern setting. Also adorable, adorable romance *internal flailing and squealing*. 

Anyway, through the process of this researching and reading I notice several things. One the more you read and write the easier it is to find your own voice and not just copy your favorite, which is especially hard for me because my current posted fic, Maybe I’m Paying for the Things I’ve Done is inspired by the wonderful @weialala-leia​ fic In Good Company. My fic has a completely different pairing though. 

So researching also led me to teh same conclusion I figured out while in my first year of college. I hate outlining, but sometimes it is necessary and there are ways of outlining that don’t mean outlining every part of my fic. It’s absolutely fine if I don’t outline in that way, but it is necessary to keep track of my timeline, and I can do this tracking after I actually write the ting, but before I post. Naruto as a fandom has great potential for an ensemble cast, regardless of how it was actually written. Word count goals help me personally, I don’t ever want to write a chapter less than 10,000 words. I have too much to say and I need room to grow and follow up on instant ideas I have while writing. Having a synopsis of the fic is also helpful, because it reminds me to not stray to far from the original idea, it creates a disconnect. I also found out, that I fucking love spreadsheets. They are great, they are versatile, they can be colorful if you are really committed, and they can function for you even if you are bad with them. It’s great. So let’s talk about the spreadsheets. 

Hopefully it’s not too blurry, I am new to actually posting stuff on tumblr so fingers crossed. There are two pictures below. The first spreadsheet has seven rows all in different colors. It’s split up by week, coordinated by color. Since KakuSaku prompts are going to be posted starting May 3rd, we have about seven weeks to prepare. I plan on creating spreadsheets and doing synopsis’s. Week two is in yellow, and I have to go through the Five commandments of story telling or situational scenes for my fics. The Five Commandments of story are 

1. inciting incident 

2. progressive complications 

3. crisis 

4. climax 

5. resolution 

and these are from Story Grid. I will not always follow this process completely through, that tis not the point. I may not be the best writer, and I may still be growing into the kind of writer I want to be, but I know how to write for joy. And it usually works even if I hit stumbling blocks or have to go on a mini hiatus. Even if I don’t follow the five commandments it at least helps me figure out what not to do. I am doing a lot of planning for my current fic (linked earlier in this post). And it’s still a very messy process because I want to talk about so many different things, and also holy shit, incorporating romance into a very plot heavy story is hard. However, this process helped me figure out a couple of things 

1. it’s going to be way longer than I thought. 

2. I want some good old fashioned romantic angst 

3. I need to be better at pacing which is why it’s going to be longer because too much is happening in too few chapters. The reader, the author, and the characters in my fic are all going to be very confused. I don’t want that. This process also helps me figure out important questions to ask in the first place. 

I also would like to start a concept doc which is just a brainstorming dump for a specific fic or characters, I got this from Isabel Cañas’s newsletter that comes out every month. After that it is just executing my ideas and planning into actually writing the fics. There is also space for me to track what I do everyday. Will I actually do it? I’m going to try my best folks but sometimes my best means taking care of myself and letting things go even if I want them. I do this for joy, so there is a lot of wiggle room that I allow myself in this process. The second spreadsheet is for KakuSaku month, this is for the synopsis, the commandments or situational story telling. I split it up by prompts for KakuSaku month and colors. It’s not the most sophisticated spreadsheet  but it works for me, so I thought I would share. Thanks for listening to me ramble. 

[arthurflecksgirl]

One year ago we met Arthur

On the 1 year anniversary of Joker

One year ago I was going to the cinema to watch a movie with my fave actor. Joaquin had been a part of my life for the past 20 years (I`m 34 now) and never ceiced to amaze me. I was always interested in the character of Joker and I will never forget how thrilled I was when I heard that Joaquin will take the role. I knew that its going to be one of the best movies ever made. What I didnt knew was, that this movie will not only become my fave movie but change my life forever.

The very first second I got intruduced to Arthur Fleck I felt something happening inside of me. That familar face that was Joaquin Phoenix, that man I adored for two decades now created this whole new character which felt so close to my heart, likeI had known him all my life and any other possible lifes before.

I was already crying during the opening scene, knewing that something important happened inside of me.

Its hard to discribe what I have felt for this man on the screen. What I still feel and always will. This love has grown every since and it blooms inside of me with every breath I take.

When the movie ended I knew that I would never live without this man again. I felt that I found that missing part I was always looking for and all I could do was to be thankful. I cried so hard for this man.

I never related to someone else before like I do with him.

Weeks and months past and Arthur became a part of me and my every day life. I needed him to be around, needed to think of him, hear his voice, see his beautiful face and write abut him. I needed to FEEL him.

For the last 4 years I suffered from a writers block, which made me very much depressive. I was a writer since my childhood and not being able to put my emotions into words was horrible to me. But then....after years of suffering....I started to write again. I started to put my love for Artur into words and tried to give him the life he deserved. Tried to reach out through time and space to change his fate. To let him know how loved he is.

I wasnt alone.

I met other lovely people who felt the same way about him.

People who saw him as he truly is.

People who saw his heart and soul.

And if you are reading this, you are one of them!

So thank you.

Thank you for showing me that i am not alone in this.

That Arthur was never alone in this.

Joker became my comfort movie. I watch it every day to feel the love. I think i watched it over 300 times now and ended up having 11 tattoos related to the movie. Along with 2 portraits of him.

Arthur Fleck is my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend and everything in between.

I love him so much no poem could ever tell.

After years of being numb he made me feel again.

He made me creative again.

After a lifetime of feeling missunderstood, he made me feel less alone.

I love him so unconditionally and dearly, all I wish for is that he feels our love through time and space.

Arthur Fleck will forever be a part of me.

This movie is my salvation and I want to thank everyone involved.

First of all Joaquin,the man that fascinated me for the last 20 years , thank you for being the most wonderful, warm hearted, empathic human being imaginable. And for bringing Arthur into our lifes. You inspire me everyday to become a better person. I wish I can meet you some day and give you a warm hug. I love you.

Todd, for your vision and kindness.

Everyone of the amazing workers on the film. Thank you with all my heart.

Thank you to all the amazing friends I made during this wild ride. You know who you are. Feel hugged.

Thank you to all the wonderful fans, fanfiction writers, artworkers and cosplayers,.....

You keep the vision alive.

Lets never stop loving Arthur.

He needs our love.

Like we need him.

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus​

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 

15. Year word count: 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

[kazliin]

I'm sure you've answered similar questions so sorry ahead of time if you have answered these questions before.I re-read Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches for like the sixth time. I tend to go back and re-read some of my all time favorite FFs throughout the years and I was once again blown away by your writing so I have some questions! 1. Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits? 2. How many edits/revisions do you usually do? To be cont....

LOL I'm back- continuing with question 2, how do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough? 3. How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point? 4. Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)

Last few questions haha- I wish there wasn't a word limit on these things...5. Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme. 6. Have you found that writing FF has helped you? Thank you for taking the time to read these. ^_^

 ----

No worries, I love getting questions about my writing! I’ll answer them all in order so it’s easier to read.

1)      Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits?

For me, if I’m in the middle of a multi-chapter fic or series, I find it better to write regularly. Motivation is a fickle thing, so I found having a set writing schedule helped me put out chapters regularly. I didn’t write ever day, but I had set days/times every week that I would devote to writing. I can be pretty lazy at times so if I hadn’t forced myself to sit down and write, I never would have finished anything!

When it comes to oneshots though, I definitely only wrote when inspiration struck. Because they are much shorter and easier to write, it was much more fun for me to frantically write one in a burst of inspiration than to try and force one out when I wasn’t feeling inspired. But those strokes of inspiration aren’t a regular thing for me so I can’t rely on them for longer fics. So, for me, I write differently depending on what kind of fic I’m writing (not a very helpful answer I know!)

 2)      How many edits/revisions do you usually do? How do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough?

I am a horrible little writing gremlin who edits something once and then tosses it out into the world for all my readers to suffer my many writing mistakes. Is it the best way to do things? Absolutely not. But I find the more I edit the more I hate things and delete huge chunks of writing and I’m never fully satisfied. So I limit how much time I spend reworking a chapter or I’d never post it. I should definitely edit my writing more but fanfiction is a hobby, not a job. I’m not going to spend hours agonizing over a fic that I was supposed to enjoy creating for the sake of editing it to perfection. So I’d say, once you get sick of reading your own writing while editing, it’s probably a sign to stop and just put the story out into the world because fic is meant to be fun, not stressful!

 3)      How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point?

This is a really tricky one because it depends on what kind of fic you’re writing and your own personal preference. I like writing a lot of introspection and have a bad habit of

making my chapters far too long. Some people like reading that kind of writing but some people absolutely hate it. The majority of the negative comments on my fics are about how there is too much introspection, my chapters should be more concise, and I need to learn how to edit down my work. Which is all fair critique but hey, it’s fanfic. I like to write like that and so I’m going to keep writing like that. And people who like short, punchy fics that get straight to the point are going to keep writing they way they like too. There’s no right or wrong way to write fic, just the way you like it.

When it comes to writing your own fic, whatever is best for you is usually whatever you find most natural to write. If you naturally write shorter chapters there’s no need to make yourself bored and unhappy by trying to drag them out with lots of flowery language. But if you naturally just let your words flow free and write lots of flowery descriptions, there’s no need to frustrate yourself trying to edit it down too much. I’m a firm believer in fanfic being fun. So write in the way that you enjoy. If people don’t like it, they can go read another fic. Different people have different tastes, so you have to write for yourself first and everyone else second. A fantastic chapter could be 1,000 words or it could be 30,000, as long as it’s written from the heart.

 4)      Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)

I unfortunately have not! I may one day but I don’t currently have any plans to

 5)      Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme.

The best way I’ve ever seen someone address this situation is in this comic.

 In fandom, it’s really hard not to compare yourself to other people, especially with so many talented people producing content! But there are a few vital things to remember, the first of which being the two cakes philosophy in the comic I linked. Sure maybe someone produced something that you think is better but I guarantee the audience isn’t thinking “oh this thing isn’t as good as that thing.” They’re thinking “hell yes, more things!!” All content is good content because it’s content that keeps fandom alive.

 Also, we are all terrible judges of our own work. I guarantee if you asked the author/artist of your very favourite fanwork about their own work they’d be able to point out 100 tiny flaws you’d never seen. So when you’re looking at your own work, remember that you’re probably being overly critical of yourself and your intended audience are unlikely to notice even a fraction of the problems you see in the things you create.

 And finally, don’t be too harsh on yourself because the more you do something, the more you improve! Some writers/artists in fandom also do writing/art professionally. And even if they don’t, some have been producing fanfiction/fanart for many years, so they’ve had huge amounts of practice. So you’re doing yourself a disservice by comparing yourself to someone who might have been drawing/writing for years more than you. I guarantee if you read the first fics I wrote when I was 12/13 (thankfully purged from the internet now because god were they terrible) you would think they were a flaming pile of trash because they were. And I used to look at other writers and think I’d never get as good as them because they just seemed to write amazing things so naturally. But it takes years and years of practice and gradually you get better and better. So if you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else and getting disheartened, try to remember there was probably a time they were doing the exact same thing! And if they kept going then so can you!

 6)      Have you found that writing FF has helped you?

It definitely has! I started writing the Rivals series when I was at a very low point in my life and it was a very cathartic experience for me. And it was also such a great feeling to know people were liking and reading my work! It helped me through some tough times and even though I haven’t written in a while, I still sometimes get comments on my old fics that absolutely brighten my day! I love fanfic, both reading and writing it, and it’s been a very important part of my life for a long time

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello DeepShadows2 and welcome to Behind the Quill, I am pleased to have this chance to chat with you.

Many of our group’s members will know you as part of our Mod team but they might also know you as the author of Peculiar and of Good Night, Sweet Prince (written for our last Prompt Week of 2020!)

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I grew up in the martial arts and my 'warrior name' was 'kage urufu' or Shadow Wolf.  When I was in Creative Writing in high school, someone else was writing under that pen name, and they were more popular, and I was told I 'wasn't allowed to copy her name' by our teacher. So I went back and forth between some names and finally came up with DeepShadows. It is because during karate Kamp's ninja night games I would find the darkest spots in the camp and wait to sneak attack my enemies to steal their flags. The 2 comes from the fact that my first ever FF.net account got deleted because I put up lemons there instead of AFF.net.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Honestly, it is a mix between Severus, Draco, and Minerva. Each in their own way was in positions they would have rather not been in at one point in time, but made the best of those situations. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) Strangely enough, I am really into my 70s Feminist Sci-Fi. Like Darkover and Tanith Lee's 'Don't Bite the Sun' Series. As for Fic, I am into many scenarios and it changes according to my mood. Recently I've been into fluff slice of life.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Oof. Asking me to pick solely one is a crime. I have always loved Gone with the Wind. If I had to point at one, it would have to be it. But I honestly went over 15 titles in my head trying to decide which one would be the winner. 

At what age did you start writing?

I have been telling stories and writing them since I was young. I could read and write at age 4 because my grandmother wanted me to be ready for school. My first written story was at 5 ish and I still have my Crayola blue five-line story about a Unicorn named Pepper.

How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into fanfiction when I discovered that ff.net existed. My first fanfic is still up there under this pen name, but it is miles and leagues from my current quality. Spelling is still atrocious though.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Honestly, hard to say. I love post-war fics. I love when the narrative is close to canon, but uniquely not, so it handles like it is an extension of the world and not a separate world. 

Theme wise, I am a sucker for hard-hitting drama.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I was into Kingsman, but not as a fic writer, but a Tumblr role-player. It's been a while, so mostly now I'm just back to being a Potterhead. It's where I began and where I always come back to.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape lives! You cannot tell me that a POTIONS MASTER who spends ALL DAY every day keeping students from POISONING themselves and who personally makes BLOOD REPLENISHERS for the infirmary would not have been prepared for an attack from Nagini. It is not secret knowledge that Drama King Voldy likes to have her do his dirty work and Severus would have been prepared for the off chance he was discovered and attacked. He lived.

My favourite piece of Fanon.... hmm... I like a lot of Fanon.  It's hard to put my finger on just one piece that I enjoy.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

Music! Nearly all of Peculiar was written to Folklore by Taylor Swift.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Cake and a Cup of Tea by Cybelle Somewhere I belong by .... I can't remember Not Only a Granger by my friend Ferporcel

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a Pantser. I have beats and thematic key points I know I want to hit, but the characters sort of fill out the story as I go. Sometimes I surprise myself with where I end up and I love that. Example: Draco/Krum was a total accident in Peculiar, but I love everything about it. 

What is your writing genre of choice?

Hurt/Comfort and Drama/Angst

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Peculiar and Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Oh, my goodness, the unexpected cropped up. Peculiar was only supposed to be a 25 chapter post-war, post-divorce AU that turned into this beautiful beast. Characters were created as I went, and some side characters became major plot devices or turning points. I learned that sometimes my brain knows what it is doing before I know what it is doing. There were hints and notes of what was going on that I wasn't even aware.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

There are points that are special to me.  It made it easier and harder to write.  Having experience with some subjects Hermione goes through makes it easier to translate the emotions into words, but simultaneously, some of those factors are trauma-based and I had to navigate myself through.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I draw influence from everything I read. That is a key reason I don't read anything similar to my current work while writing because I don't want to accidentally lift from someone else. 

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Two of my roommates are readers and I get people barging into my room after a post a chapter yelling 'OH MY GOD'. I also have a typed and printed review handed in person to me by my roommate that is on my inspiration board where she says 'Fuck you, but with love'. My entire friend group knows I write fanfiction and I get some of them to read it from time to time. My mom won't read peculiar until it is finished because she doesn't want to nag me for chapters.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

YES! I started Peculiar because I couldn't find what I was looking for. I wanted a high emotion, high stakes, drama and background rich fanfiction in which Hermione has completely broken and has given up on herself. Where she has nothing and no one and has lost that spark in her. I wanted Ron bashing where he is a villain and yet isn't the same time. I wanted Severus to be indifferent to her at first and slowly discover her suffering and set out to help her for the sake of the school, and it develops into more through feelings severed early on just after the war. I wanted her to have to overcome trauma and recover for herself, not for Severus, but instead with him and that they heal from their past together while facing continuous challenges that attempt to tear them apart. Along with other factors that haven't come to be yet, so I won't want to spoil.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I love my audience. It actually brought me here. Shout out to Geek and Tattoo for bringing me to this group’s Discord server. I answer every comment, I respond to any statements or comments I notice on social media. I'm an open person with my audience, which is why when I had to go on hiatus, I told them exactly what was going on.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Write what feels best. If you don't like what you are writing, no one else is going to.  If you don't want to write a certain scene but you need it, write an article or a letter about it. 

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I cry. Then I put on the music that inspired the story/scene and I pace my room, going over the potential dialogue and basically acting out what I think should happen until it sounds right.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yes. Many of my OC characters are modelled after some of my real-life friends. And some other events have easily transitioned into events that Hermione and Severus have gone through.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am currently writing the next chapter for Peculiar. I won't give a teaser, but I will say that Hermione and Severus give Rita Skeeter a delicious taste of revenge.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Don't stop, but also be kind to yourself. Not every writing session is going to be your best, but you won't have better days if you give up. Also, if someone doesn't like what you write, forget them, as long as you are happy with it, that is what matters.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

[bondsmagii]

10 Fanfic Question Tag Game

Tagged by @vestriis, several weeks ago. I think. could have also been yesterday, who knows.

In return, I tag: it’s been so long I have no idea who’s done this and who hasn’t so if you want to do it go ahead and @ me so I can see what you said!!

1.) What’s your favourite genre to write?

I absolutely love extensive AUs, if that’s strictly a genre of its own (my AUs tend to have similar character themes, but I don’t strictly write one type of AU, if that makes sense). it’s usually some combination of canon divergence, or a prequel with extra factors that then joins into canon and makes it an AU, or a continuation of canon again with extra things that veer into AU territory. all of my current extensive AUs (several for the Six of Crows/Grishaverse books, one for Shades of Magic, one for Vicious, one for the Gentleman Bastards series) are incredibly long pieces (we’re talking hundreds of thousands of words when complete) and are packed full of indulgent OCs.

2.) Do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read?

I tend to pull humour from real life -- ridiculous situations, funny conversations snippets, everyday inconveniences that provide some comic relief to the action, etc. as for everything else I mostly pull inspiration from canon and all the places where I’ve asked myself “what if this happened?” or “what if [character] was actually on this side or had this secret?”. I also tend to develop lesser-developed parts of canon (so for example, Black London in the Shades of Magic trilogy) and then inevitably my original characters will end up wandering into the main timeline. 

basically I just ask myself a lot of “what if?”s and go hog wild.

3.) Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

long things oh my god. I can write one-shots, but they can venture into the pretty lengthy area so would technically be short stories. a vast majority of my work, though, are multiple hundreds of thousands of words long and while I might construct the wider story over many different fics of differing lengths, it’s all the one story. one section of my current project I’m posting to AO3 (an evil!Alina/Darkling AU called To Play at Playing God) is 74k or something. this is, again, one single part.

4.) Do you prefer to write description or dialogue?

I love both. I really honestly love writing both; I couldn’t choose. from what I’ve seen other writers saying, I’m apparently very lucky to enjoy both.

5.) Favorite fic/book of all time?

full disclaimer: I write fanfic; I don’t read it. I don’t like to read it because I don’t want my own ideas inadvertently influenced by someone else’s work -- it would be so unpleasant and frustrating to reach a point in my writing and then realise that it’s been influenced in that way. I’m also aware that in the world of fanfic, rarely is an original idea actually original in the first place, so I don’t want to know if someone else has already done something similar to me, or is currently doing so. I think that would just be kind of disheartening. 

as for books, I read a lot and couldn’t possibly decide. it would be quicker to refer you to my favourites shelf on Goodreads, though of course a natural shoutout to everything I write fic about.

6.) Favorite trope?

ridiculously over-powered and self-indulgent OCs that manage to interact well with the canon characters and merge well with the plot. is that a trope? oh well. it’s pretty much all I write.

7.) Are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip?

yes. at any given moment I have several on the go, and I kind of just bounce back and forth when the mood strikes me. I’m not even stressed if I don’t look at something for a while -- I’m currently working on a new version of an original story that I first wrote when I was 15, so to say I go back to things easily is an understatement. my fanfic is the same; I’ll reread a book or start thinking about a fic again, and I’ll go right back to it.

8.) How long have you been writing for?

I wrote my first completely story when I was 4 years old. it was about two pages of A4 paper and it was about a dog loosing her puppies getting after their owners moved house (she finds them, don’t worry!). I have been writing quite literally ever since I learned to write.

9.) Do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

Afternoon and evening time, usually. I try for early afternoon, but sometimes that doesn’t work out. I like to get my writing done as soon as I wake up, so I can edit what I wrote in the evening.

10) Do you prefer to post and update your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before sharing it?

honestly? it depends on my mood. sometimes I throw stuff up there and it gets updated whenever; other times I’ll wait until it’s finished. with my extensive AUs I tend to wait until a good chunk of it (maybe a third or more) is finished and I have an outline for the rest of it, and then I’ll start posting it. generally with chaptered things, though, I’ll wait until it’s complete.

[frostedgemstones22]

How do you deal with lack of inspiration to write? You know, when you have no idea of how continue your WIPs?

Sorry it took me so long to answer this! The funny thing is when this was sent I was in the middle of a writing block so I was like ‘welp, I can’t very well answer this now’. But, it’s made me really think about stuff. So, here’s my answer...s. It’s long af. Sorry? 

1) Step back. Step back from whatever you’re writing in whatever this means for you. Sometimes it could be just taking some time to work out what you want to happen in your story, sometimes it could be...

2) Work on other WIPS. I have a rotation of WIPs that I like to work on. Variety lights up different parts of my creativity, but I always look back around to stories, the timelines vary. They don’t have to be ones you have currently published either. I have so many WIPs that haven’t seen the light of day (yet) and some that perhaps never will. Usually, and this isn’t sustain for everyone I know, but I have 1-2 main stories that I will really give a lot of energy to update regularly, 2-3 stories that are less concerning/on a different time scale that are published or WIPs where it doesn’t matter if it takes me a long time to come back to it and 1 ‘backburner’ story. I think the backburner story is incredibly important. 

Basically, what I mean by this is a story that you know is going to take a long time to write (or, it could be a collection of stories), something that you don’t need anyone to see right away, something that maybe you want to be perfect or something that you want to practice a certain skill on. It’s a story that when all else fails, you can always fall back to. Mine is a very long Dramione one that I keep saying I’ll get to posting this year, but I’ve been writing for (no lie) 12 years and I feel like I am finally getting around to being ready to post it, but it’s only 300 pages in because sometimes it will be literal YEARS in between touching it. 

3) Don’t write at all. Do something else you enjoy. Really enjoy it; like, don’t even worry about your story for a week or so. Sometimes, you’re just burnt out. 

4) Read. The best motivator for me wanting to get back into writing is reading really good literature. This can be books or fanfiction, but nothing lights up my love for what I’m doing like being stunned by someone else’s ability and wanting to give back something similar into the world.

5) If you must continue writing, and are just really really stuck, like you’ve gone and done the upper 4 like five times and keep coming back to the same place in your WIP and can’t seem to write anything worth anyone seeing, try one of these 4 things

a) The best advice I’ve gotten is if you’re at a wall with writing, it’s usually not the thing you wrote just previous that’s tripping you up, it’s whatever you wrote two or three scenes ago, or two or three sentences ago. Trace back up and erase further. This block is usually because you didn’t set something else up right, or you rushed through something, and now the bones of this scene aren’t set up for you to write anything worth wile. So, tweaking a few scenes ago usually fixes the issue

b) Take your main character. Think of what the absolute worst thing that could happen at that point in the story would be. Write that. Now, you don’t have to use that scene, especially if it would fuck with your plot, but it might highlight some traits or some elements to help you forward. Every good story isn’t ‘what happened everyday’ but what happened THAT day that made it worth telling. So, by breaking out of the normal path, it can help you figure a way forward.

c) Go and fine one of those ‘how to write characters’ worksheets that they use in writing classes. Fill it out for your characters. Sometimes, you have to remind yourself about a character’s motivations, loves, hates, the way they talk, their past and all that to find the right flavor going forward. It’s easy to sometimes have the plot take over the character so whatever you write may seem lackluster, so you just need to re-orient yourself. What does my character want? What are they doing to get it? 

d) Write out of order. A lot of times, I feel restless because what I really want to write is JUST on the other side of this scene, but this scene is so boring (but maybe necessary) to get through. So write a rough draft of what you’re really itching to write and the scene before hand, or what you need to lay down, will be more clear and easier to write. 

And finally, not really a how to get out of a block but more of a final tip for writing, always use some sort of an outline. It can be really detailed, it can be bare bones. I used to write without one. I don’t anymore. Usually, it’s a feeling of ‘shit, I have to figure out what comes next’ that keeps me from writing. It’s easier if I have and idea of what I’m writing TO because I know it’s more about filling in instead of creating everything in one go.

Hopefully this helps some people! 

[lyssismagical]

Thank you for tagging me @romeoandjulietyouwish !!!

1. What’s your favorite genre to write?

Probably hurt/comfort? Whether it’s physical hurt or emotional hurt, it’s my favourite to write the bad stuff and then the bad stuff being resolved in fluff

2. Do you pull inspiration from real life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read?

I write a fair bit of Vent Fics (like there’s a universe inside your head) so my vent fics are all from real life or thoughts I’ve had. I also write a lot of AU’s from other medias like I’ve written a HSMTMTS AU and I’m working on a Tangled AU... So both I guess? 

3. Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

I prefer writing long one-shots than anything I think. Even when I say I’ll just write little drabbles, they all end up being like at least 2K words long lol 

4. Do you prefer writing description or dialogue?

Dialogue’s always been easier for me to write, but even tho it’s harder I like writing description too especially thoughts. I’m awful at actually describing like settings tho I hate doing it

5. Favorite fic/book of all time?

I love all of @searchingforstarss fics, they’re like my favourite fic writer. I used to be a huge book reader so I have a lot that I’ve loved like the Percy Jackson Series was a huge part of my life. Also all of Rainbow Rowell’s works have been incredible. I’ve recently been reading Sarah J Maas’s novels and those are beautifully written. 

6. Favorite trope?

Idk if it’s a trope but Found Family is one of my favs in anything. For Irondad, I love Tony playing with Peter’s hair, I love the fics where Tony realizes he’s a dad, I also have a soft spot for dad peter and grandpa tony. There’s too many lol 

7. Are you the kind of person to work on more than on wip?

I used to not be. I used to write oneshots until I was finished with them but nowadays I’ve got like 6 different ideas all going at the same time along with lists of ones that I want to write but haven’t started. And then I have to come to terms with not having the time to do ANY of them

8. How long have you been writing?

this is kinda a broad question? Like I’ve been writing in general since before I knew how to write?? Like I used to scribble on paper and then tell stories of what I had ‘written’ when I was like 3. I’ve been posting fic since I was like 11 i think, I’m 16 now so?? But I’ve only been posting on AO3 since December 2018.

9. Do you tend to write more in the morning, afternoon, or evening?

I can write whenever if I’ve got the motivation. During the school year, I used to write during my online classes instead of doing work, but I’m normally writing anywhere between afternoon and middle of the night. 

10. Do you prefer to post and update your wip chapter by chapter or wait until it’s 100% complete before sharing it?

I like the idea of waiting until it’s done because whenever I try to post full fics, I like to try to do it on a schedule. Last year, I was doing 3 fics at once (updating chapter by chapter) and I promised to update each one twice a week with 2-3K word chapters. Which was essentially posting everyday. But life got busy and I ended up going on a two month hiatus which sucked. Even tho I’d prefer waiting until I was done to share it, I thrive on validation to write or else I’ll end up giving up on it, so I tend to update chapter by chapter. 

idk who’s been tagged in this yet (if you have already been or don’t wanna do it, totally cool too) so I’ll tag @searchingforstarss @akillerqueenwrites @wordsxstars and @shadedrose01

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year in Review 2019

@floraone​ tagged me, but I was going to do it anyway! 

1. List of fics completed this year:

A Fight and Make Up (An Untitled UsaMamo Drabble) Superhero Survey (Miraculous Reveal) Last Wishes (Ladybug) Word Vomit (Sailor Moon Reveal) Kiss (Sailor Moon Reveal) The Sol of the System (Sailor Moon)

2. Number of words written:

In the year of 2019, I published 55,755 words in various stories. Not as many as last year, but under my circumstances I’m pretty proud of that number. (My 750words app says I’ve written 108k since May, but that’s not all fic writing. Though like 90% of it is. It’s also mostly not published though). 

3. Your most popular fic this year:

Last Wishes – I have no idea where this story came from. I was in a weird mood and it was haunting me and I had to get it out! And like Nightmares (and no other fic I’ve ever written), it came so easily. Wrote the whole thing in about three sittings. And apparently, it resonated with a lot of people (made a lot of people cry). And I gotta say, this Ladybug fandom is wild in that you can get like 100 kudos in a day! I’m way too addicted to that feeling. But in the Sailor Moon Fandom, my most popular fic this year was A Craving for Chocolate Milkshakes, which makes sense because really that’s the only story I’ve been somewhat consistently updating this year. Besides Last Wishes, everything I’ve published this year have been one-offs. 4. Your personal favorite this year:

I don’t know!! Why do you make me pick from my children?!

I’m insanely proud of the most recent update of Craving for Chocolate Milkshakes and the Fight/Make Up Drabble (maybe I should give it a name). 

Like, I’m so pleased with how these came out. But I also just reread Last Wishes searching for the review that touched me this year, and I’m kinda in awe. It’s just so amazing and powerful. And I’m crying! I’m not sure I believe that I wrote it. 

5. Your favorite scene:

This is an excerpt from Chapter Two of An Open Secret (which isn’t published, BUT I wrote it earlier this week so that’s 2019 right?!), which was supposed to be a one off for the ML Secret Santa Fic Exchange, and it grew into a multi-chapter fic! I just love it when that happens! “I have to tell her how I feel,” Adrien thought out loud. “Do you think she likes me?” 

“Aren’t you tired of letting Ladybug break your heart?” Plagg asked, floating lazily through the air.

“Not ladybug. Marinette!”

Plagg whipped around to hover behind Adrien’s shoulders. Sure enough, Adrien was pouring through Marinette’s Instagram feed, and not his Ladybug album. 

“Marinette? Since when? I thought Marinette was ‘just a friend.’”

“I did too, Plagg! But she’s been so different this week! She’s not nervous, and I think I love her so much.”

“What about Ladybug?”

“I’ll always love Ladybug, but she’s made it clear that she’s interested in someone else.”

Plagg was proud of himself for not laughing. 

“Do you think she likes me?” Adrien asked. 

Plagg rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you have to ask.”

“She doesn’t, does she? I mean, why would she? Why was she always so nervous around me before? Did she hate me?”

“You don’t give me enough cheese for this,” the kwami grumbled. 

6. A fic or scene that challenged you:

The Sol of the System was so hard! I was writing for someone else who seemed to really like Silver Millennium, and I love the Silver Millennium as past life baggage that informs current fears and behaviors, but as its own thing? I never really felt connected to it! And then, I tried to give it a sci-fi twist, which is also not my genre! And even once I had a concept that I thought I could do something with, I had no time to work on it!! Somehow, it magically came together. @tinacentury​ has a lot to do with that. (She’ll say that she didn’t do much, but she’s so wrong!!) So, does my husband for kinda taking the kids for the last day and a half before the deadline so I could just write! 

7. A line of writing you’re proud of:

In general, my use of parentheticals in the Fight Make Up UsaMamo Drabble makes me SO HAPPY! And I’m so sad that hardly anyone read this short!! One line doesn’t really capture the technique though, so here’s six and half paragraphs… (My husband is rolling his eyes so hard right now…) 

...

Mamoru watched her from his usual booth like he had everyday for the last week. He had no right, he knew it, but he couldn’t tear himself away. Usagi was light and he was a moth. She was morphine and he was a drug addict. It physically hurt to be in her presence when he couldn’t even speak to her, but it was somehow better than not seeing her at all.

He stared at the back of her golden head seated in a booth across the Fruit Parlor's dining room. They had progressed far enough into their break up that it was possible for them to inhabit the same room (well, a large restaurant in any case) without either of them bursting into tears or retreating completely.

But today, Usagi was stretching his tolerance. She had come in with a friend (a male friend). Though maybe friend was too strong a word as it was quickly apparent that the boy sitting across from his girlfriend (his ex-girlfriend) was an assigned partner for some school project.

But even if it had been a date with romantic intentions, Mamoru liked to think he could have handled it. He wasn't completely confident he could make that claim, but he wanted to be able to say it was true. Because, more than anything, he just wanted to see Usagi happy.

And if he had to stay away to keep her breathing, he couldn't be the one to do that. It would have been hard, but he would have forced himself to bare it, just as he had forced himself to break up with her (the best thing that had ever happened in his miserable life) so that she would be safe.

But that wasn't the situation. They were supposed to be working on the project, but the boy was too familiar with her. His head kept invading her work space, he slid closer to her so that their sides were touching, and he accidentally touched her too often to be coincidence. 

And again, it would have been fine (who was he kidding; he would have been a jealous mess) if Usagi welcomed the boy's advances. 8.  A comment that touched you:

I received this comment on my Last Wishes Fic. And spent two days and asked for lots of advice in how to respond. Then when I finally did, this person told me that this story helped them talk about how they were feeling about their loss with their family. Like guys, this isn’t why I started writing fic, but OMG it definitely keeps me going.

On a lighter note, I also kinda love it whenever one of my Sailor Moon followers comments on a Ladybug fic that I’ve written. Like to me, it’s the biggest compliment that they like my writing enough, that they’re willing to cross over to a different fandom for a bit. @beej88​ even crossed fandoms and genres for me. And whenever I’m sad about not getting reviews from my giftee, @floraone​ pops in with an essay and I feel like it doesn’t matter if my giftee never responds at all. (She may have done this twice without knowing how good her timing was… and for the record ONE of my giftees totally responded with gushing praise, so… I just gotta be more patient!)

And I especially appreciate @tinacentury​ for all the behind the scenes comments and encouragement and then also taking the time to comment on stories after the fact as well!!

9. Something that inspired your writing this year:

So, first off, my friends here have been so encouraging.

The Miraculous Ladybug Community – I’ve delved into a new fandom (blame my sister!). And man, I really like the dynamic of being in an insanely active fandom where the source material isn’t finished yet. It’s like working in a living breathing thing, and that’s so cool. Also, I get so many comments/kudos even being a pretty unknown author there and I’m very addicted to this validation. (Though I made a rec list!! I was so excited!! Thank you @alexseanchai​!!). It also makes me feel like a traitor to my Sailor Moon roots though…

750words.com – this is a little app that just made writing feel easy. It made writing a habit, and took off the pressure of getting it perfect! I feel like it’s taught me to write a lot faster and worry about perfecting it later.  This little app is what gave me the structure to keep writing when my life has been insane!

10. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc)

I participated in two fic exchanges this year! I’ve never done this before. And I kinda love the experience of writing for what you think someone else would like. It forced me to write in a different headspace and write to a deadline, which apparently, I’m very capable of doing. And it definitely pushed me into writing things that are different than I normally write.

Also, that I wrote and published anything at all inbetween taking care of a medically fragile four-year-old and an infant who was born in March and going back to work this past September. (Writing has only become more important to me. It’s how I recharge and deal with stress, so I’m clearly not going to stop).

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

So many!! Probably too many! (Like always!) - I really want to finish Chocolate Milkshakes and An Open Secret in like the next 30 days! (I promise nothing!) - I really want to dive back into Coming of Age and Invisible Wounds. Like I’m SO excited about where these stories are going! - I want to polish up like four Miraculous Reveals that are each like 80% finished, so I can get some momentum going on this series. - I want to go to the library every week for two hours for writing to maybe have a chance of reaching some of these goals.

And I will tag @tinacentury​, @overworkedunderwhelmed​, @beej88​, @mikauzoran​, @cassraven​, @laadychat​, @bubbleblower​ as an invitation to participate if you want to! Not a requirement! :) You can totally do it if you’re not tagged too! 

[yumeka36]

Frozen 2: the crossroads of a fandom

This post has been several days in the making but I felt it’s something I had to write now that the supposed final trailer for Frozen 2 has been released and, as stated in my previous post, we’re less than a week away from spoiler-filled merchandise becoming readily available. I’m of course beyond excited that we’ve made it this far after years of waiting…but at the same time, I’m apprehensive on a personal level because Frozen is not like any of the major fandoms I’ve been into. I apologize in advance for the length of this post – I just wanted to get all my thoughts out there so thanks for bearing with me!

While I’ve been a part of many fandoms throughout my life (mostly games and anime), there’s only been a handful that I’d say have been major ones – as in, they lasted for many years, a day never went by where I didn’t think of them, and they made up the majority of what I spent my time and money on. But thinking back, every major fandom I’ve been into was for a series. Probably my biggest three fandoms besides Frozen are/were Pokemon (game series), Inuyasha (anime and manga series), and Haruhi Suzumiya (anime and light novel series). Leaving Pokemon aside for the moment because I’m still very much into it, I was obsessed with Inuyasha during my high school and early college years (around 2003 to 2007) and Haruhi for some years after (around 2007 to 2013). I’d say a big part of the reason I was into them for so long (besides adoring the characters, story, and writing of course) is precisely because they were series: their stories were ongoing for the many years I was into them so I always had new content to look forward to and could indulge in thoughts of “I would love to see this scenario play out in future stories, maybe it will in the next chapter/novel release!”

So why am I not nearly as into them as I used to be? Inuyasha simply finished its story, with the manga finally ending in 2008 (and unfortunately the last year or so of chapters wasn’t all that great in my opinion), and Haruhi’s creator pretty much just abandoned the series, releasing a great 12th novel in 2011 and then never releasing another one since, leaving the series without a proper conclusion. So the reason I eventually left these fandoms is simple: there was no new content to look forward to and thus no hope that any story scenarios I wanted to see will eventually play out in future releases.

On the other hand, why have I been part of the Pokemon fandom for so long, never leaving it since I played the first games in 1999? Again, the answer is simple: Pokemon is a franchise that shows no signs of ever ending – in fact, its become the highest grossing media franchise, so of course Nintendo, The Pokemon Company, and others who profit from it will never let it end. There will always be new games, new anime episodes and movies, new merchandise, and new gimmicks like Pokemon GO. It also helps that the games, anime, comics, etc., are only loosely connected to one another so it doesn’t involve a single narrative that will eventually have to end – each new game takes place in the same world but with a different story and characters, which I suppose has its advantages in terms of freshness and longevity over franchises that involve the same characters and plot dependent on the mind and motivation of a single author (like many manga and books series).

So why is Frozen so different from these other fandoms of mine? Firstly, as I mentioned before, it’s not a series and so doesn’t guarantee new content will be released at set intervals: it was originally just a single movie in Disney’s canon of (mostly) standalone stories. Probably the main reason I’ve been into it for so long despite this is because we did, eventually, get new content that continued the canon story (not just a spin-off like that lame Lego cartoon or a retelling of the original story like the Broadway show). In 2015 we got Frozen Fever, in 2017 we got Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, and of course, we got hints of a full-fledged sequel in 2015-2016 before the date was officially announced in 2017. But the difference is that none of this content was ever certain. Unlike a manga series that guarantees a new chapter every week or month, or a book or game series that gets a new release every 2-3 years, new content for Frozen was really just random and up to Disney as to whether they wanted to give it special treatment for being their highest grossing animated film. Thankfully for us fans they did, with an animated short every 2 years and now an official sequel. To be honest, the hope of a sequel is a big part of what’s kept me into Frozen for so many years despite there being such limited content (the original movie plus the shorts is only, like, 2 and a half hours of content!) The shorts helped but I knew they wouldn’t give me the kind of dramatic stories I wanted to see play out in the franchise. Before we knew of any content beyond the original movie, I wrote a post in 2014 about why I wanted to see a Frozen sequel so badly. And here we are, nearly 6 years later and that hope is finally becoming reality…

…I’ve been looking forward to it more than anything for so long, but now that we’re so close, I’m kinda sad and worried. After years of pondering and daydreaming about what Frozen 2 would be like and whether it would give me what I want to see with the characters I love, what if it ends up not being everything I hoped for? What if this movie that’s been on my mind everyday for years just doesn’t leave me satisfied in the end? Again, if this was a series we’re talking about, I’d just say “okay, so the most recent manga chapter, game release, etc, wasn’t very good, we’ll see what the next one brings!” But there is no “next one” for Frozen. Well, I can’t say for sure there won’t ever be a Frozen 3 or more animated shorts, but from the information I’ve heard/read, it really seems like Disney planned this as a closing point for the story that, as of now, has no plans to be opened again. My fear isn’t that I won’t like Frozen 2 – I’m 95% certain I’ll love it – but will it give me what I want to see in the story and characters to the extent that I won’t feel a constant yearning for more should it be the last canon installment for the franchise. I’m sure we’ll see a live-action remake somewhere down the line or other things Disney likes to do to revive their popular franchises here and there, but as far as continuing the canon story through animated shorts and sequels, that’s completely uncertain. And before anyone tells me “that’s what fanfiction is for,” I personally never had much interest. I’ve always strictly been into canon material and I don’t like stories that I feel are out-of-character, with scenarios that would definitely never happen in the official franchise, which is what a lot of fanfiction caters to. I’m sure there are fics out there that I’d like, but I don’t have the time and motivation to try and find them among many others I probably won’t care for. Also, another reason I love Frozen is the animated movie medium itself – near life-like animation, music, voice acting, colors, etc. – so going from that to just reading the stories is too much of a difference to satisfy me.

I know it’s silly of me to fret about this as only one of two possibilities will happen, neither of which are terrible: 1) we never get more canon Frozen movies, so regardless of whether I end up being satisfied with Frozen 2 or not, the lack of new content to look forward to causes me to lose interest and eventually move onto other fandoms, or 2) Disney does announce Frozen 3 and/or more canon animated shorts so that hope keeps my Frozen obsession going indefinitely! (as a side note, Disney seems to be creating more canon TV series for its movies like Tangled and Big Hero 6, but personally I’m not too keen on a TV series for Frozen – I can’t speak for Big Hero 6 but I’ve watched all of Tangled the Series and think it’s good, but it just doesn’t have the high-standards and consistent writing quality and characterization that a full-length animated film has, and I wouldn’t want anything but the best for Frozen!)

Well, whatever happens in the years to come, I’m sure I’ll still love Frozen even if it doesn’t stay among my top fandoms. Every anime, game, movie, etc., I’ve been a fan of has served its purpose in my life, inspiring my thoughts, leading me to great friends, enhancing my appreciation for creative stories, and bringing me many hours of joy, and Frozen will be no different, whether my obsession ends soon after Frozen 2 or continues on into the unknown (see what I did there :P)

*Crossposted from my main blog, Yume Dimension*

[multifictional]

A little “me” moment because I needed to write it.

Read if you want, it would make me so happy but you’re not forced to of course <3

This year has been the worst year I’ve ever lived.

It all happened last July. That month, I lost three of the most important thing I’ve ever had.

I lost my first dog, which I had for the last almost 14 years, and in that very same day, I lost one of my two internet best friend.

We used to talk a lot every day, we role played, talked, helped and reassured each other. She literally knew everything about me. My worst fears, my biggest dreams and passions, my family issues and so on.

So when I lost her, on the same day, it was the end of me. I was already broken for my dog, this made things worse. And even after a year, I can’t get over it. Because we didn’t have closure.

I’m not going to explain our “fight” because I don’t want to annoy anyone, just know that I texted her in any social for the next three days, asking her to forgive me and apologising, even if I didn’t know what I was apologising for, and to talk about it together, give each other our perspective civilly like adults, but she left me on read. And never heard of her again. After three years of laughters, roleplays, tears and nights full of messages into nothing.

Needless to say I was in pain. I fell into a hole, and even if I had my childhood friend trying to help me out, it just hurt so much.

Then there is my other best friend. My parabatai (who follows shadowhunters, know what I mean).

Nothing happened with her. We didn’t fight. But after what happened I didn’t have the strength to talk to her, so I left it here. We were that kind of friends who knew we could pass months without speaking and never would change.

Just, it changed.

Few months later, I tried to reach to her, explaining what happened and why I didn’t write to her, that I wasn’t in a good place. She never read, so I tried again on her bday, but still, never.

I didn’t know if she read it or not because sometimes she erased the option of the blue ticks that confirmed the other person read the messages.

It was some weeks ago that I saw the blue ticks.

And here I lost all my hope.

—

Some months ago, my grand father sold his boat.

That’s another thing that left me empty.

I literally grew up on that boat. I went in family vacation every fucking year, until I was eleven, then we went back one last time in 2016.

I dreamed of getting my own boat license and sailing on that same boat, making my grandfather proud. And I wanted to. I couldn’t apply to boat license yet, because I was studying for my driving license, but I got information for the price and I was so sure about it. I would have tried this autumn. But this changed when he told me that he sold it and something broke inside me.

Then when the day arrived and I saw the boat leaving my garden, I had a breakdown. My memories, my childhood, my purposes, gone. And worst thing is the fact that I will never get them back. Neither with another boat. It will never be the same again.

I can always get a license and a boat in the future, I know, and I’m so sure I will one day.

But my memories on that boat will forever be gone. That day, a piece of me left with it.

—

Here’s the thing: something changed some days ago.

Recently I read a book I fell in love with. I liked it that much, that gave me inspiration. Then I started writing down the ideas, and I kept getting inspired.

These three things that happened this year turned out to be my inspiration, especially the boat one. Of course I changed things, but that’s not the point.

I tried to write more than once something that was original and not fanfiction, but I always stopped because 1. I wasn’t inspired and forced and 2. I always stick around fanfiction.

But I tried. And everyday, I’m more inspired. I have already a general idea, and this really is something I never thought possible.

So I hope that perhaps, writing these things in my story will help me find the comfort I never found and maybe, just maybe, help me get over it and try to let it go.

People say to turn your insecurity and what hurt you into strength. Maybe it will happen sometime, because I don’t feel strong at the moment, the contrary.

But maybe it’s true that all of this will turn out into something good at the end.

Just, not the way I hoped and expected. But maybe that’s better.

-

Okay. First of all, if you arrived here, thank you for the attention. I rarely talk about myself, but this time I just needed it. I hate the attention, so if you think I’m an attention seeker just get away, please.

If you’re not, again thank you.

I wrote this, in case someone else who might read this isn’t in a good place either.

You’re not alone. And I know it’s easy to think that and just wishing to die. I know what’s that like.

Okay, there are more serious and problematic things in the world and I do know that. But what is nothing to someone, could be everything to someone else.

I always appreciated the little things, for example.

I really hope that writing my own romance will help someway.

You see, I realised thank to this that things happens in the less expected moment. I didn’t expect inspiration when I finished reading that book, but that book and the thoughts of what I lost this year put together, made the inspiration sink in.

I’m scared to start writing my own piece. But I’m also excited.

I decided to listen the excitement rather than the fear.

So here is my message: take any chance the world offer you. It will not be easy, life is not easy, but in this world we aren’t alone. We just need to find the right person, the right drawing, the right song or poem.

For me it was the right character that gave me the right inspiration, in the moment I needed it the most, even if I didn’t know that yet.

But now I know.

[lifeinahole27]

My Fics

And here we go! This is a compilation of every fic I’ve written for the OUAT fandom, starting from the very (shaky) beginnings. It’s wild to put this together two years after I first googled Captain Swan fanfiction. There’s so much growth in these links, and I’m anxious to see what progress will be made from this point forward.

Special thanks to everyone who reads what I write. Seriously, I cannot thank you all enough. I <3 you all.

And another special thanks to anyone who has done proofreading or beta reading for me, including but I’m sure not limited to: @oubliette14, @nothandlingit, @i-know-how-you-kiss, @sambethe, @phiralovesloki. (If you’ve done any kind of beta reading for me and I missed you, please let me know so I can add you to this list. You lovelies deserve fruit baskets and such for how amazing you’ve all been to this insecure, fidgety writer.)

(Note: All of the Tumblr and FFN links are already in here, however the Ao3 links are not. I’m still working on cross posting those, but I wanted to get this posted and linked up so it’s finally up! Will update as I go! Will probably add descriptions and ratings as I update this further, as well.)

Something Else | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Emma, one of many counselors at a summer camp, takes a moment to herself to enjoy the sunset and think about the blue eyes she’s grown rather fond of the last couple weeks. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Til We’re Staring at the Same Stars  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Emma takes time to think. (G, canon-verse, complete)

Stars Lined Up  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: The reunion between Emma and Killian after ‘Til We’re Staring at the Same Stars’ (M, canon-verse, complete)

It Isn’t Slow  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: When the town is in crisis, it’s hard to find the time for pleasurable endeavors. Sometimes a quickie is all they can manage. (E, canon-verse, complete)

Shower Courtship  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “you live in the apartment above me and everyday I can hear you singing in the shower but you’re really good and it makes my day” au (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Routines | FFN | Ao3 

Summary:  Summary: Emma’s daily routines are a matter of habit. When she wakes up late one morning, her routines all change for the better. Killian doesn’t care about routines, but he does care about Emma. (E, au, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

No Bunny’s Business  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “you’re dressed as the easter bunny at our town’s easter egg hunt and I take my younger sibling, but they're afraid of people in costumes and you accidentally make them cry and you take off the bunny head to apologize and hey you’re kinda cute” (PG, au, one-shot, complete)

There You Are  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Season 4 finale, missing thoughts from Emma. (G, canon-verse, complete)

Pushing Deadlines  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “I have a paper due tomorrow and it’s three am, I need all your     coffee cause I ran out” college au (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Burning Off the Midnight Oil  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian helps Emma with her nerves before an important day (E, au, one-shot, complete)

The Seduction of Deckhand Jones  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma pulls an I’ll-make-a-man-outta-you on deckhand Killian. (The title pretty much says it all…) (E, au, one-shot, complete)

I Can’t Let You Do That  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Some CS jewel theives, inspired by sense8. (E, au, two-shot, complete)

1 | 2

Roots Like Ours  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  I work at a bar and I don’t get home and to bed until nearly 4am and now it’s 7am and there’s a tree removal company working right next door and I know the bylaws say that any time after 7am you’re allowed to operate this devilish cacophony of machinery but I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep and as I stalk outside in my tweety bird pyjamas I swear to god I am going to murder you for waking me up and oh fuck you’re hot. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

At the Top of Our Lungs  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “We’re on the debate team yet we can’t argue about something without yelling.” CS as debate team members who may have recently done some bedroom battles. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Between the Coffee Lines  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: ‘I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Early to Rise  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  ‘We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair.’ (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Ship It  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  college professors au where the students ship them. (M, au, two-shot, complete-ish)

1 | 2 

Claws Out  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Christmas is, by far, his least favorite time of the year for two reasons. One is the inquiries on adoption. The second is the inquiries on return. In which Killian is a the owner and operator of a cat sanctuary, and Emma happens to be a mother to make an inquiry on adopting a cat for her son. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Distractions  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Killian Jones, the deckhand of the pirate ship, the Jolly Roger, is tasked with distracting townspeople whilst the crew robs their homes. Instead, Killian ends up being distracted by a beautiful blonde interested in his drawings. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

The Faces of Kismet  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: No one expects to meet their soulmate in a chat room, and that’s certainly not what Emma was looking for when she went in to waste some time one night. Instead, she found someone, and he found her, and then they lost their connection. Fate likes to fuck with peoples’ lives sometimes, and this is no exception. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Check In, Check Out  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  The easiest rule Emma thought she would be able to keep as she worked night shift at the Storybrooke Inn & Suites was to not get romantically involved with any of the guests. Then came along Killian Jones, a job transfer with a sleep disorder, who’s bunking at the hotel until he can find a place of his own. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

At Your Convenience  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma may be the drummer of a famous band now, but before that, she was a girl making questionable choices with a guy she doesn’t expect to see on a stop to their singer’s hometown when they stop for a quick visit. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Shake Your (Cotton) Tail  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian has some questions about the logistics of egg hunts and mascots, but Emma convinces him to stop asking questions with the promise of an enjoyable evening. (E, canon-verse, complete)

We Got Us  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: How they got together is mostly a run-of-the-mill story. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. A strange and complicated courtship followed. All that really matters to either of them is that they’re happy. They’re in love. They’re miles away from anyone who cares if they are in a relationship or not. And that only matters because no one that knows either of them would ever expect them to be in a relationship in the first place. Perhaps it would be easier if their brothers weren’t best friends. It’s the easiest separation between family and relationship that either of them has ever had. Which means that it can’t last, of course. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

I Will Learn to Let You Go  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian Jones, having lost his own soulmate years before, spends his free time finding the soulmates of other people. It’s what he’s good at, and he gets paid well to do it. Finding the soulmate of his latest client may prove to be the worst job he’s ever taken on, though. It’s not because Emma Swan is hard to find, but because he finds himself falling in love with her. (E, au, two-shot, complete)

1 | 2 

Lethologica  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Maybe if they could think of the perfect word to describe their friendship, everything else would fall into place. A slightly slow-burning friends-to-lovers au where Killian is a chef and Emma is in the Army Reserves. (E, au, multi-chapter, main story complete but more to come?)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

My Eyes, They Speak for Me  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Canon divergence from 3x13 onward, where Walsh never reveals himself and Storybrooke isn’t where it should be. Emma and Killian have to not only find a way back to Storybrooke and Emma’s family, but keep each other and Henry safe in the process. (E, canon-verse, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3

Knead Your Loving  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Prompt: My friend keeps lecturing me on the importance of self care and I booked a massage to shut them up.. But my masseuse is the anonymous stranger I fucked at Christmas. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Sirens Howl (Sneak Peek)  | FFN | Ao3 (coming soon)

Love So Sweetly (Sneak Peek)  | FFN | Ao3 (coming soon)

See That Smile  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian is the charismatic lead singer of a band known for making weddings unforgettable. That is, until his own wedding is cancelled and he vows to never sing at another one. Years later, he meets Emma, a bartender at the event hall and woman planning her own nuptials. But in the process of helping her plan her own wedding, he discovers that he does still have the capability to feel again, and it all starts with the way that Emma smiles at him. Of course this would be his luck. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Wait for the Moonrise | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma doesn’t remember who she was before she was found in the woods, but she knows that she has a few close friends, a good job, and a loyal cat that greets her every day when she gets home from work. What she doesn’t know, however, is that her past is about to catch up to her in the strangest of ways. She learns quickly that not everything is as it seems, not even her cat. (E, au, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

It’s All in the Name  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Beloved Tropes- Coffee Shop AU in which Emma is the angry barista who constantly gets Killian’s name wrong. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

You’re the Tune that Stuck  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: A soulmates au where you can have any number of things happen to reveal you have a soulmate. In this one, Emma suddenly hears the songs that her soulmate are either listening to or have stuck in their head. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Smoke and Mirrors  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Tweaked from the prompt “I was burning scented candles and fell asleep. You’re my neighbour who bashed the door down when my smoke alarm went off.” (T, au, one-shot, complete)

A Difficult Matter  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian and Emma, in a moment of downtime, take a moment to discuss name possibilities for their soon-to-be-born. (T, canon verse, one-shot, complete)

The Art of Making (and Raising) a Pirate Princess | FFN | Ao3

Summary: It’s more than just a simple affair, making a baby with the woman he loves. It takes time and patience, and a lot of adjustment. Killian wouldn’t have it any other way, really, when it means living his happily ever after with his wife and daughter. (M, canon verse, part 2 to be written by @captainstudmuffin, incomplete)

On the Two | FFN | Ao3

Summary: He’s one bad trip from ending up in AA, and she’s one performance away from a solid job and moving closer to home. Their paths were unlikely to cross until Camp Hope brought them together. How and why they meet and intertwine is against the odds, and definitely against the rules, but will that really stand in their way? A Dirty Dancing inspired modern au. (E, au, multichapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Always You  | FFN | Ao3 (summaries and ratings coming soon)

Modern Swimwear | FFN | (Killian comes across a piece of modern swimwear. Be warned of the “Swim Sock” reference... canon verse, T, complete)

Going Back | FFN | (A very dark little ficlet in which S4 finale Emma goes back for Deckhand Killian’s cutlass. canon verse, T, complete)

V-Neck Shirts | FFN | (Itty bitty thing about how Killian appreciates Emma’s v-neck shirts. canon verse, M, complete)

Thoughts In Dreams | FFN | (Another angsty little bit from Killian’s perspective after Emma is taken by the darkness. Pom’s picture here kind of holds hands with this fic. canon verse, T, complete)

Leave Your Hat On | FFN | (A requested fic where Killian finds his naval uniform. It was supposed to be smutty, but it ended up much more serious than I thought it would. canon verse, T, complete)

Little Things | FFN | (In the olden days of LJ, we would’ve called this a vignette in which Emma’s bed-hogging status is explored. modern au, T, complete)

Can I Kiss You? | FFN | (First in the Dirty 30 ficlets. BFFs to lovers. modern au, T, complete)

You Came Back | FFN | (Killian moves into an apartment and keeps getting the old tenant’s mail. And her hair is always everywhere. modern au, T, complete)

Are You Drunk? | FFN | (Part 1 of a coworkers bit. modern au, M, complete)

It Wasn’t Supposed to Happen Like That | FFN | (Part 2 of the coworkers bit. modern au, M, complete)

How Long Has It Been? | FFN | (A short, childhood friends reunited ficlet, guest-starring Mary Margaret as Emma’s roommate and David as Killian’s friend. modern au, T, complete)

I Just Want This | FFN | (Secret friends w benefits becoming more. modern au, M, complete)

Come Home with Me | FFN | (Part 1 of the vacation series. modern au, M)

Please Don’t Argue | FFN | (Part 2 of the vacation series. modern au, M)

I Did a Pregnancy Test | FFN | (Part 3 of the vacation series. modern au, T)

You Know, It’s Okay to Cry | FFN | (Part 4 of the vacation series. modern au, T, complete)

In the Form of a Question | FFN | (Set in the little quiet moments, Emma discovers that Killian is spending all his free time reading and learning, and would be a ringer on Jeopardy. canon verse, T, complete)

Relationship Rules 1 | FFN | (There was one rule: If the phone rang and it was an important call, Killian was to stop doing whatever he was doing between Emma’s legs until the conclusion of the phone call. Mythical timeline where things are good. Part 1 of 2. canon verse, E, complete)

Relationship Rules 2 | FFN |  (There was one rule: If the phone rang and it was an important call, Killian was to stop doing whatever he was doing between Emma’s legs until the conclusion of the phone call. Mythical timeline where things are good. Part 2 of 2. canon verse, E, complete)

Evolution of an Oops | FFN | (Another vignette of the progression of a relationship. Includes accidental pregnancy. modern au, T, complete)

Wanna Bet? | FFN | (From the prompts “Wanna bet?” and “Wait a minute, are you jealous?” modern au, T, complete)

Truth or Dare? | FFN | (Emma and Killian play truth or dare while waiting for their friends to arrive for dinner. modern au, T, complete)

Q&A | FFN | (Written for @pompeiiablaze - how Emma kept Captain Hook distracted at the tavern in the CS Movie. Check out her adorable artwork here and here! canon verse, T, complete)

What Goes Last | FFN | (tw: death, The most painful thing I have ever written about a factoid I read somewhere about how the senses leave the body during death. canon verse, M for theme, complete)

Definitely Time | FFN | (A sadly Joss’d fic about CS attending OQ’s wedding, and deciding to set their own date. canon verse, T, complete)

Nevers | FFN | (Based off that commercial about how the couple will never do the thing, and then they do it? Yeah, that’s what this is. modern au, T, complete)

Don’t Marry Her | FFN | (Based on the prompts of “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. You were never just my friend.” Where Emma sees Killian and thinks he’s getting married to someone else. modern au, T, complete) 

Why Are You Bleeding? | FFN | (Based off the prompt in the title, Killian greets Emma with a newfound respect for life after a complicated incident. Very short itty bitty fic. modern au, T, complete)

A Different Kind of Team Building | FFN | (Emma and Killian, coworkers, are on their way to a work retreat when Killian stops at a creepy, abandoned house where they stay for the night. Mentions of smut but no descriptions. modern au, M to be safe, complete. BONUS: a couple years ago for my birthday, @sambethe wrote me a re-mix of this fic and I am beyond fucking in love with it. You can find it HERE and give her some love for the beautiful re-mix!!)

4 AM | FFN | (Neighbors au where Emma kinda maybe sort of breaks in to get at Killian’s ice cream supply. But in her defense, he offered it. modern au, T, complete)

Partners | FFN | (A very ridiculous little fic where Killian and Emma have been challenged to be on different teams for darts. modern au, T, complete)

Always You | FFN | (Killian participates on a dating show where he attempts to win Emma Swan’s heart. modern au, T, complete)

Pressure Point | FFN | (Previous partners, Killian ends up in the hospital after getting shot. Very itty bitty. modern au, T, complete)

Floral Fan

School of Loverboys

Coming On Home

Pickup Truck

Multiples

Midnight

Scratch

They Lived

Hold On | FFN | (Based off the prompt:  we promised to stay friends but we’re doing the same stuff we did when we were a couple and i don’t wanna point it out because i don’t want it to stop. modern au, M, complete)

To Trying

Wanted: New Furniture

Non-Captain Swan Fics/OTHER:

Extra Good (Scarlet Wolf itty bitty ficlet)

Turn Around, Turn Around (Daddy Charming angsty feels)

Artisanal (A Snowing ficlet that will hopefully make you laugh but also punch you in the feels. Based around 6x16.)

Christmas Card Fic Bits 2017 (A mishmash of CS fic bits, and a Frozen Jewel fic outline)

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