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To Fall, To Ascend (Is Human)

Haunted Past – Sophism, Isabella LeVan

XL was God’s favorite Angel who helped pioneer the new era where Angels were tasked with watching over humanity. No, XL never despised the humans, nor hated them for taking up all of God’s attention. If anything, XL followed in God’s footsteps, cherishing humans as creatures that deserved everything life had in store for them.

But if XL could wish for one thing, it would be to love as freely as humans are allowed—encouraged–to do. Angels were created out of God’s will, and God had not permitted his children to maintain close relationships of any sort. This meant the nature of Angel-to-Angel romantic relationships was entirely unexplored.

Up until XL had crossed paths with a messenger Angel who had just ascended from Earth.

They didn’t have names like humans gave themselves. XL could only refer to himself as “I” or “me,” and to others as “they” and “them.” God was seen as “Father,” and that one messenger Angel came to be known as “He” and “Him.”

Or simply: “The One.”

They talked more than what was appropriate for Angels who merely worked in the same area, but XL enjoyed those conversations just as much as the work XL did.

Perhaps even more.

When ample time was free of work, XL would invite Him to his own home, which was grand in scale because XL was God’s favorite child, after all. In exchange for a place to stay, He would tell stories of the mortal realm, where humans mingled in their insignificant manner, none the wiser to the influence of the entities above and their creator.

XL listened with eager fascination, and the messenger Angel’s eyes seemed to shine brighter than the rays that graced heaven’s skies.

Like a moth to a flame, XL was drawn in.

God noticed, of course. God had eyes everywhere, especially on his special children. When questioned about the time spent with the same, particular messenger Angel, XL brushed the concern away, reasserting his devotion to his one and only heavenly Father, and left it at that.

The next time XL saw The One, they’re both in the mortal realm, walking amongst humans as if that’s where they were meant to be all along. In that moment, XL felt something akin to a spark within his chest.

Time is relative depending on how you choose to spend it. What must have been one century seemed merely like the ebb and flow of the wind, traveling with no predetermined destination.

Limitless, but not timeless.

And on the day marking the hundredth year of their first encounter, XL—along with the others who followed his example of internalizing selfish desires and thus, abandoning their dedication towards humans—was cast out of heaven. No warning, no pre-amble, no chance to atone for his sins.

XL fell into the dark abyss while the open wounds on his back bled, and bled, and bled, all the way down to the depths of Hell.

If only he could have said goodbye to Him.

When XL fell from grace, the beginning of a seven-day-long thunderstorm took place. The skies were dark and gloomy, not a hint of sun peeking through, and the rain showers never ceased their downpour. Out of the four of the seven days, XL’s messenger Angel was in the mortal realm doing business. When that Angel ascended to the heavens to find God’s favorite had been thrown out of heaven, the messenger Angel rampaged like nothing anyone had seen before. Anguished screams pierced the air, and for the briefest second, the absolution of peace in the heavenly realm became uncertain.

To the human eye and ear, a couple of flashes of lightning and booming thunder was all it appeared to be; the messenger Angel challenged God directly in combat, enraged that His beloved had been unjustly rejected from the place he belonged in the most. No more than three thunder strikes later, the pouring rain eased up, and a mysterious glow lingered in the sky. It flickered briefly before burning out to oblivion.

Once again, God showed no mercy.

The fallen Angels, without their heavenly essence, became a different class of creatures by default. The demons were born just like every other creation, characterized by an innate evil that came with opposing God’s word in heaven. Angels who once completed their orders without a second thought, now monsters who felt the same emotions as humans and had the power to corrupt in the deadliest ways possible.

In the beginning, there were those who loved and those who hated, but they were all killers in the end.

The fallen angels became the original demons lurking in the realm of Hell, responsible for punishing humans who had sinned in the same ways they had. Souls that survived their punishment sentence were then converted into demons themselves to increase Hell’s numbers. These created secondary demons, turned by the original line of ex-Angels. And with this process, the realm of Hell began to grow.

Nothing compared to the beauty, structure, and peace up in the Heavenly realm. XL would know because he contributed to a major part of its establishment. During the first several decades in Hell, XL did not let his emotions consume him. Deep down, he knew that he had done the best that he could. His values would not change simply because he was no longer God’s favorite child.

XL loved humans, so much so that though he had learned of their fickle ways, he still yearned for their simpler life.

Most of all, the one thing that tethered XL to his sanity the most was His Angel. His beloved. They had been together for one hundred years, and XL wished he had one hundred more. But that was the greed inside him speaking.

Truthfully, XL didn’t know if he would see his messenger Angel again. It had been XL’s fault that he led Him down the path of temptation. If not rejected from heaven, would He really want to follow XL down to Hell’s ruins?

Could love somehow prevail to allow XL and His Angel to reunite?

One century passed, and XL scavenged as a lowly demon with very little power. Another century went by, and still, there was no sign of XL’s beloved. XL had patiently waited all this time, but he was not the same creature he was when first falling from heaven.

At the turn of the second century after his fall from grace, XL’s core began to rot. To wither. To warp. Slowly but surely, the corruption overtook his soul. For even the model Angel that he once was, XL could not repress the evilness inside. All the love XL once embodied turned into pure hatred and vengeance.

The time had come for Hell to have its first official ruler.

XL began collecting souls at a terrifying rate, torturing them in hopes of converting them into his subservient demons. Over the process of the next century, XL amassed over millions of disciples, and began conquering the territories of Hell.

326 years after his banishment, XL now bears the title the King of Hell. Other names he is known as including the Great Demon Lord, Satan, and Lucifer. Just like the pitiful God that he had once served, XL rules with a bloody-fist, no mercy or compassion left in his permanently damaged soul.

***

XL wakes up with a choked gasp, curling into a small ball as his lungs wrack with the need for oxygen. He heavily coughs into his pillow, body shuddering in pain, sweating profusely from...whatever nightmare he had been having.

It’s the same one, the third time this week.

When XL’s breathing finally evens out, he shifts onto his back, eyes boring up at the pitch-black ceiling. Blinking his eyes shut and squeezing them shut, XL tries to remember what he had dreamt of.

There were no stark images or familiar faces that stood out; just the deafening, monstrous shrieks of tortured figures, the unbearable heat of the–was it the sun? And the iron scent of blood in the air. The sensations had been vivid...almost too real.

Thinking about the nightmare proved to be too exerting when the throbbing in XL’s head increased ten-fold. Reaching over to his nightstand where a cup of water and a bottle of pills sat, XL robotically swallowed a few melatonin capsules with a huge gulp. He then settles back under the covers, in the comfort—and safety—of his own room.

Moving out of his and SQX’s apartment had been a tough decision. Perhaps the sudden change of environment sent XL’s body into a temporary shock, in need of time to adjust.

But it had been a necessary decision. Especially after XL was miraculously hired by a corporate business in desperate need of a custodian, with a more-than-decent pay, the desire to move into his own space was a no-brainer.

Now, if only XL could get a good night’s rest. He already needs his caffeine fixes throughout the day to properly function. When XL begins his new job next week, he’ll need all the energy he can get.

《II》