#read harder 2017
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if I see another “good parents (insert character)” or a “good friend (insert character) or even a GOD FORBID “Worried (insert character)” on the DT17 ao3 tag I WILL GO NUTS!!!!
#ducktales 2017#seriously#just put in tags that will actually fit the story#I can get it if it’s ooc or controversial in the fandom#But if it’s LITERALLY CANON in the story and completely non controversial#it’s not needed#We don’t need to know that Dewey is the youngest#it’s literally canon to dt17#also you don’t need to tag a character feeling an emotion#you don’t need to tag Louie being worried#it’s.an.emotion#it just makes tags more cluttered and harder to read#which makes me skip over important tags like “child abuse” or “car crashes”#or even just tags that can come in handy#like a Lena using he/they pronouns#sure I could have probably figured it out myself#but it’s still handy#tw caps#dt17#tw abuse mention#tw child abuse mention#Tw car crash mention
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alright, this is one HELL of a shot in the dark, but...
I'm trying to find the origin fic of this song. "Too Big For Us" was a song that was included at the end of a Voltron Legendary Defender fic and I cannot for the life of me find the story.
There is every chance that this fic was deleted.
From what I remember, it was a Lance-centric 5+1 about him being the one to act as support for the others (and then the team supporting him in turn). I'm 99% sure it was on FFN since I didn't really start reading fics on AO3 until 2019-ish. The song might've been something put in an author's note as a broken up YouTube link thanks to no outside links allowed on FFN. (It... COULD have been Hunk as the focus character? but I'm pretty sure it was Lance. I've been telling myself it was Lance as the focus at least. god if it ends up being hunk and ) There weren't any ships as far as I remember either.
The file says it was modified on February 19th, 2017, which I assume is the day I downloaded it or the day it was published, seeing as the listed "creation" date is in March 2022 and I know I've had it for longer than that. If I'm remembering things right, it was posted as part of the last chapter of the fic, because it was a multichapter (I'm... slightly less confident in the multichapter status but I'm pretty sure it was?)
The order characters are referenced in the song was also the order they were in each chapter... but I have no idea which section Pidge is supposed to be @~@ part of me says I was annoyed/confused about the lack of a Pidge section the first time around too but it's been like 6 years so idk how much of that thought I actually believe. Otherwise, I think the order is Hunk, Keith, Allura & Coran, Shiro, Lance, and Pidge was somewhere in the middle.
The lyrics, as best I can make them out, are under the cut. A few lines are covered up in just the wrong way by the piano chords so I'm sort of guessing with the words in the brackets. (The mixing really isn't the best but I have no room to complain since I'm not a musician of any variety)
Together we sit, as he relearns how to breathe His heart races with panic, deep set anxiety And demons fill his head as he fights off another's Ignore what still hurts as the light of hope is smothered
A boy in a bubble made of experience and fears A knife in hand and heart to protect him from tears Because bonds only seem to lead to pain Until someone can teach him to connect again
And in the end they'll come to me Cause everybody does And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
A family in all but name, they say [stare??] comes in pairs A gentle touch is calming as a [??? braiding] hair When there is too much to do [without?] doing too much Go to him for support, drown their sorrow with a laugh
He's a fellow protector, with secrets to hide Whose fears and insecurities surface in the dead of night He's in need of help but doesn't want to burden That finds a companion, someone to confide in
And in the end they'll come to me Cause everybody does And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
But sometimes your strength Could use some strength of their own, before it's too late Cause even the strongest of pillars Can crumble under the weight
But in the end they'll come to me Cause they know I need some love And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
#vld#voltron legendary defender#voltron: legendary defender#fic finder#fic help#lance mcclain#i'm not even really in the fandom anymore but it came up in my music shuffle and i really want to find the source#ngl part of the reason i got sucked back into the song was ninjago ^^; the chorus is highly applicable to other series#but trust me when i say i SEARCHED for this. dug through the dead links in my likes playlist on the wayback machine#checked reviews i'd left on fics (the start of 2017 was barely in-range) but if the fic was deleted then so was my comment left on it#searched through the FFN fics themselves from feb 2017 to feb 2018 with the only filters being ''complete'' and ''more than 5k''#tried to sift through automated emails from FFN about new chapters being posted but i think i read the fic when it was already completed#nothing. to be fair it COULD'VE been one of the links the wayback machine didn't archive at the time but there's no way of knowing for sure#really wish the lyrics were a bit clearer but piano and fast words make that harder :/#but yeah if you know more please tell me#i spent a good couple hours searching for this instead of studying or doing homework because skewed priorities are the only kind i have#send help
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13 spoiler-free reasons why you should read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun
...if you haven't done so already 👀 (With "spoiler-free" I mean I'm not describing plot points or characters, but under the cut I'll discuss the overarching themes, so be warned if that's too much for you. The first 7 reasons may be enough lol)
It's both funny AND wholesome. I literally can't read it without laughing out loud, and there are a bunch of chapters that make me cry every time I read them.
It's clever! The Japanese version contains several puns based on the kanji "魔" (read "ma", = devil, demon), starting from the title, but it's a recurring pun. The English translation adapts them pretty well. Plus, there are some of the best plot twists in recorded history (IMO). And the names and characteristics of most characters are based on real-life demonology.
It's queer AF. Like, really gay. There are explicitly homoromantic relationships and several nonbinary and gender non-conforming characters. One of these is the best unashamedly nonbinary character ever written. Plus, the manga premise can be seen as an allegory of hiding in the closet. The only thing that made me uncomfortable because of cisnormativity (boys in drag as a joke) is completely fixed in later chapters, and very well so.
It's feminist, without being preachy or paternalistic. Simply put, the women/girls are three-dimensional, complex characters, as the norm should be. And there are lots of them, without it being a harem (...the harem trope is actually used as a joke).
It's spooky and adorable, imagine Halloween vibes all year round. Both main and background characters are super diverse, and if you like monsters there is stuff for you.
Most characters are neurodivergent-coded. It's basically the autistic/ADHD manga.
The art is phenomenal. It's especially good to see the improvement of the art style over the years (the first chapter was published in 2017 and the manga is ongoing). Some panels are really breathtaking.
8. The story is about personal growth - like most shounen manga, fair enough. But the protagonist, Iruma, is so far from toxic masculinity I dare say he's the antidote to it.
9. It's also about found family, the discovery of unconditional love, and trust, and healing from familial trauma.
10. It's about finding a group of friends you belong to, and transforming your weirdness into a strength, identifying and cultivating what you're good at instead of fitting into a mold.
11. It's about the beauty of learning in your own way, and the importance of education and the shaping of future generations.
12. And the reason why I opened this blog: it's about fascism and fighting against it. I mean real fascism, as in "a powerful individual/group wants society to be hierarchical and oppress certain minorities, elevating a specific subset of the population based on intrinsic characteristics which are being misleadingly treated as merits". Ethno-nationalistic stuff. More specifically, it's about being a somewhat politically illiterate person, who learns about systems of oppression beyond personal injustices. It's about questioning what is the best way to arrange society.
13. Most importantly, this manga gives you hope about the future, something I find harder and harder to have. Hopelessness is dangerous - as people without hope stop fighting. This manga makes me actively feel better. Since it's ongoing I can't ensure it will always remain that way, but I've come to trust the author enough that I expect it to.
#osamu nish my beloved#this manga was seriously life-changing for me#i can't overstate this#partially writing this post as a reference for myself#because i recommend m!ik to most people i know#so i have all the reasons in one place lmao#feel free to use this the same way#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#wtdsik#iruma kun#mairuma
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"At HarperCollins, a lot of attention and thought is given to deciding exactly what combinations of margin measurements, font, and layout feel most appropriate for the genre, and writing style.
But in a case of do-your-part environmentalism, designers at the publishing house have now standardized a series of subtle and imperceptible alterations to normal font style, layouts, and ink that have so far removed the need for 245 million book pages, totaling 5,618 trees.
Telling the story in Fast Company, representatives from HarperCollins, one of the four largest publishing houses in the world, explained that the idea first arose in Zondervan Bibles, HarperCollins’ Christian publishing division. Being that the Bible is 2,500 pages or sometimes more, saving ink and pages was not just an environmental consideration, but one of production costs.
A new typeface called NIV Comfort Print allowed Zondervan to shave 350 pages off of every Bible, which by 2017 had amounted to 100 million pages, and which, as Fast Company points out, would be four times higher than the Empire State Building if stacked.
The production and design teams then wondered how much they could save if they applied the same concepts to other genres like romance and fiction. Aside from the invention of the eBook, publishing hasn’t changed much in the last 100 years, and the challenge was a totally novel one for the teams—to alter all their preconceived ideas and try and find a font and typeface that resulted in fewer pages without being harder to read.
They eventually standardized 14 different combinations their tests determined were the most environmentally friendly, and which delivered an unchanged reading experience.
But the challenge didn’t stop there. Printed books, one might not know, are printed in large sheets which are then folded into sections of sixteen pages, meaning that Leah Carlson-Stanisic, associate director of design at HarperCollins, has to calculate the savings of space, words, and ultimately pages with the help of her team to fall in multiples of sixteen.
Nevertheless, they have been successful with it so far, and in the recent print run of one popular book, 1 million pages (or a number near 1 million that coincides with the 16 times tables) were saved.
“We want to make sure our big titles, by prominent authors, are using these eco-fonts,” Carlson-Stanisic said. “It adds up a little bit at a time, saving more and more trees.”"
-via Good News Network, April 4, 2024
--
Note: Great! Waiting to see this on the rest of their books and at the other big publishers!
Actually, though, it's worth noting that this may not come quickly to the other large publishers, because Harper Collins almost certainly owns that font - meaning that other publishers would have to pay HarperCollins in order to use it, on an ongoing basis.
More on publishing shit and more realistic solutions here below the cut!
What I'm hoping for and think is more likely is that this will inspire the development of open source eco-friendly fonts, which would be free for anyone to use. That would make it far more likely other publishers would adopt eco-friendly fonts.
I'm also hoping it would inspire other publishers to create similar eco-friendly fonts of their own.
Ideally, there would be a whole new landscape of (hopefully mostly open source) eco-friendly fonts. And/or to see calculations of the eco-friendliness of popular existing fonts, compared to each other.
If we could have a publicly accessible list of calculations for different fonts, including fonts designed to maximize eco-friendliness, I really do think that it would affect which fonts publishers choose to use. Here's why:
Most people in publishing are on the left (notoriously, actually) and really do care about the environment
People in publishing are plenty aware of these issues re: paper and trees, I promise
Shorter books means smaller production costs - and possibly smaller shipping costs as well, over time! So it would save them money too.
Eco-friendly fonts could also be combined with other measures for greater effect, such as bamboo paper (already in use for a lot of projects where page color/quality is more flexible) and thinner paper (aka paper with a lower weight) that uses less trees.
Don't expect books to all move to just one or two different fonts, though. Publishers and typesetters and font designers will innovate to create more options instead, though it will take longer. This is because different books really do use different fonts for various different reasons - one new font to rule them all isn't really a solution here.
"Every book is in the same font" may sound like a "whatever" deal to a lot of people, but as someone who works in publishing - trust me, it would actually make your reading experience worse, even if you could never quite put your finger on why.
#publishing#books#book publishing#bookblr#harper collins#fonts#font design#eco friendly#sustainability#conservation#trees#deforestation#good news#hope
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French kisses .1 - Lucy Bronze x French!Reader
Hey everyone! I’m J. I used to write fanfiction on Wattpad for another fandom, but for a while now, I’ve mostly just been reading. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time on AO3, where I started reading WoSo fanfics and fell into @bruhnze’s incredible works. After reading everything she’d published, I found her on Tumblr.
Recently, @bruhnze announced she was taking a break from writing. We connected, and I had the absolute honor of reading through her WIPs. One of them really inspired me, so I asked if I could finish it—and she said yes!
Originally planned as a single fic, this story grew into a 3-parter as I worked on it 🫣😅 Long story short: WIP by @bruhnze, finished by me, and proofread by her.
Summary: This is during Lucy Bronze’s time playing for Lyon, she's just gotten into a relationship with R, a 22-year-old student. For R it is the first time sleeping with someone. Based on this request, from the☀️anon over on @bruhnze.
Warnings: This is an 18+ fanfic with explicit content, so minors do not interact.
You had grown up in Lyon, lived there all your life. It had never been particularly eventful—your life was great, really. You loved your studies, had a close-knit group of friends, and there wasn’t much more to it.
The only thing that seemed to be missing, or at least it was something that was out of sync with your friends, was your love life. At 22, you had never really had one. While everyone around you seemed to be hooking up left, right and center, it never quite worked out that way for you. Not that you didn’t want to; you did.
It was just that you had never met anyone who stirred something in you in your everyday life. Sure, you’d kissed people now and then, but whenever things started to go further, you found yourself pulling back.
As time passed, being a virgin at your big age started to feel a bit strange. You were well past the point where a one-night stand felt like the right way to lose your virginity. Maybe it was because you didn’t know how to navigate all of that, or maybe you were worried that whoever you were with wouldn’t expect it and you’d feel awkward.
But in the blessed year 2017, as fate would have it, everything changed when you met a cute English girl in the local supermarché.
She had been struggling to find something on the shelves, her expression a mix of confusion and determination, when you decided to offer her a hand. The girl, who introduced herself as Lucy, explained in broken French that she had just moved to Lyon.
You helped her find what she was looking for, and as a thank you, Lucy asked for your number. You laughed and teased her, asking what she planned to do with it.
She had grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and in her charmingly imperfect French, she replied, "the least I can do is buy the pretty girl who helped me a dinner." That made you laugh harder, and when you joked about her not knowing any good restaurants yet, she just shrugged and said, "then you can decide where we go."
She had this boldness that was as charming as it was disarming—and, okay, maybe her being absurdly good-looking didn’t hurt in swaying your answer either. It was a yes without doubt, however towards Lucy you stayed a bit more unfazed.
That was a few months ago. Now, Lucy was much more comfortable with her French, picking it up quicker than you’d expected.
And not only was the woman smart, she was also incredibly athletic, which you'd noticed from the start. But on your fifth date, when you two had gone swimming, you couldn’t help but be floored by how fit she really was.
It wasn’t just her body, though—Lucy was thoughtful, kind, funny and so much more. You saw that side of her when she came with you to visit your grandpa in the hospital, bringing him a Lyon shirt signed by a player as a gift. You almost cried, you’d only mentioned that your grandpa was a life long fan of the club and here she was, gifting a signed shirt to him?!
That’s how you found out she was a footballer. Lucy had handed the signed jersey to your grandfather, grinning with that mischievous spark in her eye. “Hope you don’t mind it’s from a pretty new signing,” she’d teased. Then, with a playful glint, she added, “But I’ve heard she’s world-class. Do you know any players from Olympique Lyonnais Féminin? I can get another autograph if this one doesn’t impress you.”
Without skipping a beat, your grandfather, his face lighting up, assured her he did, mentioning that he always tried to catch matches, even if he mostly had to listen rather than watch due to his eyesight. “This is number 22, Bronze. She’s a great defender,” he said with pride. “I was thrilled when they signed her. Do you know her from England, or how did you manage to get this autograph?”
Your jaw nearly dropped as you glanced over at Lucy, who was barely holding back a smile.
“Yeah, you could say I’m close with her. Some say we’re practically twins,” she joked before reaching out to shake his hand. “But actually, I am Lucy Bronze. Nice to meet you, sir.”
Your grandfather’s laughter was as genuine as you’d heard in ages, his disbelief quickly turning into a delighted grin. It was as if he couldn’t believe his luck.
“I won’t let you down,” she told him, her voice softer, promising. “We’ll bring home the Champions League for Lyon.”
-
You’d been dating for three months now, and things were going great. Lucy had met your friends, and they adored her. You told her early on that you wanted to take things slow, and she had been nothing but understanding. She didn’t want to rush things either, but she wasn’t afraid to show you how much she liked you. Everything felt so natural with her, as if it was meant to be.
There was a dinner planned with your parents this Sunday, tomorrow she had a match, but today was one of her rest days after a Champions League game.
After a relaxed afternoon strolling around the city, shopping for a birthday gift for a friend, Lucy insisted on stopping by the supermarket. She wanted to cook at home, saying she wanted a romantic night with you. You agreed, and soon, you were back at your apartment, where you spent more time kissing than actually cooking.
It had been happening more and more recently—lingering touches, playful kisses that turned into longer, deeper ones. Every time, though, it stopped before it could go too far. Sometimes it felt natural, like you both were happy to just be together, but other times it felt more abrupt, leaving your heart racing. You wanted her, of course—how could you not?—but there was still that one thing you hadn’t told her yet, and it held you back.
Lucy had noticed. She’d asked a few times, worried that you might’ve had bad experiences in the past, but you assured her that wasn’t the case. You just wanted to take your time, and she had been so patient with you, always respecting your boundaries. Sometimes recently, it was even Lucy who would pull back, smiling at you sweetly, her eyes filled with desire but also understanding.
You loved her. You wanted to share everything with her, every part of yourself.
Twice now, she had stayed the night at your place. She had offered to sleep in separate beds, but you had waved that away, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep cuddled up next to her.
And now, after watching her play last night and lying awake, tossing and turning, you had decided that you were ready to tell her what had been holding you back.
You wanted, ached, to explore this part of your relationship, and tonight, with the romantic dinner she planned, felt like the perfect moment.
Now you were here, a lovely dinner behind your belt.. fidgeting with your wine glass, noticing that strangely enough, Lucy seemed a bit nervous too.
You both spoke up at the same time.
“Y/N—” “Luce—”
Breathy laughter filled the air, easing some of the tension you both seemed to be holding. “You go,” you said in unison again, which only made you laugh harder.
You gently took her hands in yours. “No, you go, baby.”
“Baby..,” Lucy repeated slowly, as if she was rolling the word around in her mouth, trying to make up if she liked the taste of it, her eyes searching your face.
Your heart skipped a beat. Shit. Did she not like that? You had been using the term more and more recently, thinking you were both building toward something more, maybe even thinking of her as your girlfriend already. Panic crept in until Lucy's voice broke through your spiraling thoughts.
“I thought,” she began, tightening her grip on your hands, “that it was about time… that I asked you to be my girlfriend.” Her words tumbled out quickly, like she was nervous. “I know you want to take things really slow,” she added, rambling a little, “but I just really, really, really like you. More than that even.” She let out a breathy laugh, glancing away for a second, before her gaze settled back on yours. “But I won’t scare you with that just yet. What I’m trying to say is... I want to call you my girlfriend. So, um… if you—”
“Oui!” you cut her off, the word bursting from you with so much enthusiasm that it took you both by surprise. You felt your face flush with heat as you quickly added, “Uh, yes, Lucy, I love you too—” You stopped mid-sentence, blushing furiously. “I-I mean, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” you corrected, your voice softer but no less sincere.
Lucy’s smile stretched from ear to ear as she stood up from her seat, and you rose to meet her. The moment felt so perfect, so right.
She kissed you, a kiss filled with warmth and love, and you returned it with all the affection you’d been building up for this woman for months now. God, you were in love.
After a few long moments, you pulled back, your heart pounding. You knew you still had to tell her the other thing. But Lucy was looking at you with such softness in her eyes, her face lit with joy. You couldn’t help but brush your thumbs along her cheeks, feeling the heat of her skin under your touch.
“Love me huh?” Lucy teased at your little slip of the tongue earlier, her voice low and playful.
You chuckled, your nerves easing slightly. “Yes, I love you, Luce, je t'aime” you admitted, voicing the words felt like lifting a weight off your chest.
“Hmmm…” Lucy hummed, her grin widening as she buried her face in the crook of your neck. “That makes me really happy. I love you too,” she whispered, her breath warm against your skin.
Before you knew it, Lucy’s hands had moved to cup your ass, lifting you up effortlessly. You squealed in surprise, even though she had done this before—it caught you off guard. Maybe because you still had to tell that other thing. But you couldn’t help but laugh as she carried you over to the couch, sitting down with you perched on her lap.
Both of you dissolved into giggles as you peppered each other’s faces with kisses, one after another. “I am so in love with you,” you murmured between kisses, your forehead resting gently against hers as you gazed into her eyes.
Lucy laughed, her nose brushing against yours. “It’s funny that we both wanted to tell each other that tonight,” she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
Your cheeks flushed again, this time not just from the affection but from what you knew you had to say next. “I… I also…” you stammered, trying to find the right words. Lucy tilted her head, a curious smile tugging at her lips as she waited patiently.
“I also wanted.. uh no.. needed.. to tell you something else,” you finally managed, your voice a little shaky.
“Oh?” Lucy’s eyebrows lifted slightly, her expression soft. “Is it… a good thing?”
You bit your lip, unsure. “I’d…uh.. I’d say it’s more of a neutral thing?” you said, trying to ease into it.
Lucy smiled, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze as she leaned back against the couch. “Okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”
You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yes, I know. It’s just… hard for me to say, I guess.” You could feel your nerves bubbling up again. “I’m sorry for keeping it from you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
Lucy’s gaze was steady, encouraging. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for,” she said softly. “Take your time.”
“I… I have never…” You struggled to find the right words, but they just wouldn’t come. “I mean, I know how everything works, of course, but I’ve just… never actually… done it.” The words tumbled out awkwardly, and you quickly looked down, embarrassed.
Lucy was quiet for a long moment, so long that you finally forced yourself to glance up at her. To your surprise, her expression hadn’t changed—she was still looking at you with warmth and understanding.
“Hey,” she whispered, her thumb brushing over your lower lip, gently freeing it from between your teeth where you’d been nervously biting it. “Thank you for telling me.”
You groaned, your forehead dropping against her collarbone. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief.
Lucy chuckled softly, her hand smoothing over your back. “Sorry for what? Like you said, it’s a neutral thing. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She tilted your chin up so you could meet her eyes again. “I’m just happy you told me. Now I understand why we always stopped when we did.”
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and smiled shyly. Lucy’s hands found their way to your cheeks again, cupping your face with such tenderness that you couldn’t help but feel safe.
The two of you stared at each other, the weight of the moment sinking in before both of you burst into soft, breathy giggles, the tension dissolving.
You both had ended up lying down on the couch, nestled against each other in a comfortable silence. Lucy’s arm was around your waist, your head resting on her chest as you listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing. The warmth of her body and the way her fingers absentmindedly traced small circles on your arm made you feel calm, safe.
It must have been at least half an hour before you finally worked up the courage to speak.
“So… how do you, uh, want to do things?” you asked, your voice soft, almost hesitant.
Lucy tilted her head slightly, meeting your gaze with a curious look. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” she responded, her voice gentle, as if she were afraid of pressuring you. “I mean… I want to do whatever you want, however you want, and when you want it.”
Her words made you smile, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. She was always so thoughtful, so patient. But the truth was, you had been thinking about this for a while now. You swallowed hard, trying to push past the embarrassment rising in your chest. “I feel like I’m ready,” you began, but the words felt heavy in your throat.
Lucy’s expression softened even more, her hand rubbing soothingly along your back, waiting for you to continue.
“That’s… I…” Your face flushed bright red as you tried to find the right words. You couldn’t tell her just how ready you were without blushing even harder.
The truth was, ever since you and Lucy had started dating, you had never felt this kind of desire before. In the past few weeks, your own body had been betraying you, and the thought of Lucy, had been invading your mind, especially when you were alone. You had never been so… wanting. It was like something in you had awakened. It wasn’t just the emotional connection—you physically craved her.
“Uhm… it’s been hard,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “not going further than kissing with you.” Your cheeks burned even more as you confessed, “But I felt like I needed to tell you this first before we went further… it was hard for me to confess.. I feel a bit.. uhm.. behind?”
Lucy’s thumb gently stroked your cheek, silently urging you to continue, her face calm and open.
“I’ve been thinking about… you,” you admitted, your voice faltering slightly. The vulnerability of the statement hung between you, the air thick with it. “A lot.”
Lucy’s lips curved into a small, tender smile as she listened. She didn’t laugh or tease you like you might’ve feared. Instead, she looked at you with a warmth that made your heart flutter in your chest.
“I’ve been thinking about you too,” she said quietly, her voice sincere. “But I didn’t want to push you, and I didn’t want to rush into anything until you felt ready. I wanted to respect your boundaries and I am really happy you told me this before we went further, and you’re not behind at all by the way, everyone does things at their own pace.”
You nodded, appreciating her patience but feeling the need for honesty. “But really I… I’ve been more than ready,” you repeated, the words rushing out now that you had started. “It’s been hard for me to hold back. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to… you know, go further with you. I’ve just never… done it before.” You didn’t know why you were repeating yourself, maybe to bring over to Lucy how much you meant it.
Lucy nodded, her hand moving to intertwine with yours. “I get it,” she said softly. “I’m really glad you told me. I want you to feel comfortable with whatever we do, and I don’t want you to feel like there’s any pressure.” She paused for a moment, searching your face. “But when you’re ready, whenever that is, I’m here. We’ll take it slow, together.”
You smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “Thank you,” you whispered, resting your forehead against hers.
Lucy sighed contentedly as she lay beneath you on the couch, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm. After a moment, she cleared her throat, breaking the comfortable silence.
“So, um… your parents,” she started, her voice tentative. “Sunday dinner, huh? What’s that going to be like?”
You blinked, a little caught off guard by the shift in conversation. “What about it?” you asked, propping yourself up slightly to look at her.
Lucy gave a small, nervous laugh. “I don’t know, like… have you told them anything about me? Do they know we’re dating, or is this going to be a complete surprise?” She bit her lip, clearly a little anxious. “I just want to make sure I don’t mess this up.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Why are you thinking about that right now?” you asked, your tone playful as you began trailing soft kisses along her neck, nuzzling into the warmth of her skin.
Lucy let out a breathy laugh, though her body tensed slightly under your touch. “I—uh… I just don’t want to screw it up. Are you sure you really want to do this right now?” she asked, her voice hesitant.
She turned her head to look at you, concern flickering in her eyes. “I don’t want to rush you, y/n.”
You giggled against her neck, pressing a kiss just below her ear. “Three months isn’t enough of a wait for you?” you teased, a smile tugging at your lips.
Lucy chuckled, her body relaxing slightly as she looked up at you, her nerves fading a little. “Okay… so the dams have really broken now, haven’t they?” She raised her eyebrows, amused.
“Well, now that I’ve told you, and you didn’t get scared away... I have to admit, I’m kind of excited. I mean…” you grinned sheepishly. “I find you really attractive.”
She smiled as you moved your hand under her shirt, your fingertips brushing against her warm skin, you whispered, “I’m in love with you, Luce. I want to share that part of myself with you, too. And you know…” You paused, leaning down to kiss her collarbone. “Je sais à quel point tu es bon au football, alors je ne peux qu’imaginer que tes talents athlétiques s’étendent au-delà de ce jeu…’’ You whispered.
Lucy giggled, swatting at you playfully. “Oh, you’re cheeky,” she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. But she glanced up at the ceiling with a grin and added, “Are you sure you’ve got no experience at all? It feels like I’m more out of it than you are right now.”
You sat up a little, shifting so that you were straddling her hips, your hands resting lightly on her stomach. You raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh?” you asked, smirking slightly. “Has it been long for you?”
Lucy bit her lip, her gaze dropping for a moment before she admitted, “Maybe… half a year? I don’t know.”
“Versus 22 years,” you teased, rolling your eyes giggling. “I think I win.”
Lucy grinned, sitting up to face you, her hands resting on your waist. “Mmm, no. I think I win.” She leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with affection. “I’ve got the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life sitting on my lap right now.”
You felt your cheeks grow warm, your heart swelled in your chest. But instead of letting yourself get lost in the emotion, you smirked, leaning in close until your lips hovered just inches from hers. “Mmm, really?” you teased softly. “Tell me more…”
Lucy’s expression turned serious, though her eyes were still playful. “I mean it, y/n. Now that I know how much this means to you, I want it to be special… really special. I always wanted that for us, but now it feels even more important.”
You rolled your eyes in playful disbelief, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Mon chéri,” you whispered, brushing a kiss over her cheek, “we just had the most romantic dinner, confessed our love—I'd say that’s pretty perfect already, wouldn’t you? Besides, it’s already special because it’s with you, my love, you are the only person I could think of doing this with.”
Lucy’s smile deepened, and she reached up to brush her thumb along your cheek. “Perfect, sure,” she mused. “But… candles, flowers, fresh sheets…” She bit her lip, ‘’in my head I was going all out for you, I am not even wearing my good underwear, amour.’’
You chuckled, thinking of your preparations for today. ‘’I am.’’
You watched her pupils dilate, her eyes widening in surprise, and she swallowed hard, clearly taken aback. “Oh,” she said in a breathy tone, as if she had just forgotten how to speak.
You chuckled, watching her shift, almost flustered. “Are you getting shy, Luce?”
“No! It’s just that… I don’t know,” she stammered, running a hand through her hair, clearly struggling to keep her composure. “I really want to keep things slow, to be respectful and everything, but when you say things like that…” She scratched her neck, her voice barely a whisper, “it’s… hard to...”
“Hard to what?” you asked, delighted to see her cheeks flush, a sight you didn’t often get to see from her.
Lucy groaned, leaning back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s hard for me not to think about… taking things a little faster than planned.” Her voice came out all at once, as if she’d been holding it back.
You leaned in, your lips just grazing hers. “Well, what’s wrong with those thoughts, then?” you asked, teasingly brushing your fingers along her neck.
She exhaled softly, biting her lip as she hesitated. “Let’s… wait until after I’ve met your parents,” she finally managed, pulling back slightly, though it was clear that it took effort.
Your smile faltered, confusion and a hint of disappointment washing over you. “Oh… I thought…” You shifted off her, sitting up and moving to your own spot on the couch, feeling uncertain.
Lucy’s hand instinctively reached for yours, her expression tinged with a hint of panic. “No, no—y/n, it’s not that I don’t want to! I do, more than you know.” She looked down, as if gathering her thoughts. “I just thought, well, when you mentioned meeting your parents on Sunday, I figured it was important to you to wait until after that step.” She paused, glancing up at you with earnest eyes. “I actually had… this plan in my head for next week. Thursday, to be exact.”
You blinked, intrigued and slightly amused by her meticulousness. “You have… a plan?”
“Yeah,” she said, scratching her neck in that adorable way that always made you smile. “I even talked to your housemate to make sure she’d be out for the night. I thought, you know, after we’re official and all…” She laughed softly, glancing down shyly. “I was going to surprise you with candles, flowers, everything. It’d be in your own bed, so you’d be comfortable.” She pressed a hand to her chest, her cheeks flushed. “I didn’t want to pressure you, of course, but I wanted it to be right for you—like, um… create a perfect moment for us.”
Your heart melted as you listened, and you could hardly contain the adoration shining in your eyes. Here was this amazing, thoughtful woman who loved you so deeply, wanting everything to be perfect.
“Luce, you’re… adorable,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss her, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude for such an incredible girlfriend.
You could feel the heat and intensity building between you, like two magnets drawn together. Your mouths met in a deep, fervent kiss, a silent conversation of everything you hadn’t said and all the things you were both holding back. It was a kiss full of promises, anticipation crackling in the air around you.
As the kiss deepened, Lucy’s hand slipped to your waist, and you let yourself sink into her warmth, into her presence.
After a moment, you pulled back just slightly, a small smirk crossing your face. “Are we sure we want to wait until next week?” you whispered, your voice low. “Today is a Thursday too.”
She took a deep breath, nervous laughter lighting up the room. “Well, I don’t know if I want that, but I think it would be best, so yes, I think I want that.”
“Thursday can’t come soon enough,” you groaned.
You both laughed, the intensity giving way to a moment of lightheartedness as you laid together, feeling secure, knowing that when the time was right, it would be everything you both had been waiting for.
After a while Lucy scooped you up into her arms effortlessly, grinning as you let out a surprised laugh. She headed toward the bedroom, ignoring your glance back at the kitchen.
“We really should clean up first,” you protested lightly, glancing over her shoulder at the table still set with empty plates and a bottle of wine.
Lucy shook her head, a smirk playing on her lips. “Nope,” she said, nudging the bedroom door open with her hip. “Tonight we can cuddle, tomorrow we’ll worry about that again.”
Once in the bedroom, Lucy set you down at the edge of the bed.
You felt your cheeks warm as you began to undress, carefully slipping out of your top, suddenly hyperaware of her eyes on you. You hesitated, noticing she’d turned her head away slightly, as if trying to give you privacy, even now.
“No, you can look,” you murmured softly, smiling as her gaze shifted back to you, her eyes meeting yours with such warmth that your heart fluttered. “You’re my girlfriend,” you added, the last word feeling new and sweet on your lips.
Lucy’s gaze traveled over you slowly, and you felt a blush rising to your cheeks as you slipped out of your top and bra, letting them fall softly to the floor. For the first time, her eyes settled on the bare skin of your chest, and you could see her breath catch for a moment, her lips parting as she took you in.
You felt a mix of warmth and shyness under her gaze, but her expression was so open, so purely admiring, that you felt at ease. When her gaze lifted to yours, her eyes held a soft awe that made your heart skip. “You’re beautiful,” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.
You smiled, feeling both vulnerable and cherished in that moment, before turning to her closet and reaching for one of her oversized shirts to slip on. As you lifted it over your head, Lucy let out a little chuckle, recovering herself, and as she undressed down to her boxers and sports bra, her cheeks were pink.
Once undressed, you both climbed into bed, buried under the comforter as you found each other in the dim light, legs tangling together. She pulled you close, and her mouth met yours again, warm and gentle.
The kiss deepened, lips moving slowly, savoring each touch, each taste. Lucy’s hand rested on the small of your back, sliding upward with a feather-light touch that sent soft tingles across your skin. You felt a pleasant, fluttering warmth in your stomach as her fingers brushed over you.
Your own hands explored her too, grazing the line of her jaw, the smooth skin of her shoulder, and then down to her waist, lingering as you took in every detail. With every kiss, your heart raced faster, your body responding to her closeness, feeling both electric and calm at once.
But just as things were growing more intense, you felt a faint pulse of nerves, next Thursday was maybe not so bad. “Wait,” you whispered, smiling softly, though your cheeks were warm. “We haven’t brushed our teeth yet.”
Lucy paused, her eyes immediately searching yours, understanding lighting up in her gaze. She brushed a gentle hand over your cheek, offering a reassuring smile. “Totally forgot,” she said softly. Her hand found yours as she guided you to the bathroom, fingers intertwined as you both stood side by side at the sink.
You shared smiles as you brushed your teeth together, Lucy’s shoulder bumping lightly against yours, and even things like this simple routine felt special in her presence.
As you finished, you turned to find her already smiling, her hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
Back in bed, Lucy wrapped her arm around you as you nestled close, her hand resting comfortably over your hip. You let yourself settle, your head on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart, your own hand resting on her stomach, feeling the warmth of her skin and the gentle rise and fall of her breathing.
In the quiet, with Lucy’s arm wrapped around you and her hand softly resting on you, sleep came easily, and the last thing you heard before drifting off was the sound of her breathing, steady and warm, and the quiet, whispered words she murmured just before you both faded into dreams; “Goodnight, my love.”
-
I hope you guys like this, I felt a bit rusty writing again, but I think in the future I might be writing more woso fics.
Part 2 of this will follow soon!
-J.
#lucy bronze x reader#lucy bronze smut#lucy bronze imagine#lucy bronze fanfic#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#chelsea women x reader#woso smut
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what do you recommend for people who are very new to deadpool comics and looking to get into them?
hiii thank u for asking!! this is kind of a complicated question because there's no right answer really. especially with deadpool, there's no actual best starting point because besides the basic origin story that he was experimented on, everything else about him is fair game (he just lies all the time and has false memories about his past) and so all the comics are different and pretty much standalones. but here's a list of a few comics depending on what you want to explore (i have not read every deadpool comic ever so this is not the best list but i will get there):
for shorter and more lighthearted reads:
deadpool (2022)—SO so cute wade has a crush on this non-binary assassin and it's actually adorable how much he likes them lol. in terms of shorter deadpool comics i think this one is quite a standout [update: the ongoing deadpool (2024) is brilliant as well and is a direct in-depth continuation of this]
deadpool infinity comic (2021)—a short partnership with sue storm. funny and the art style is so cute too
dogpool infinity comic (2024)—this is just cute and logan is in it too
deadpool (2018) #6—the issues in this run are all kinda standalone stories (although they all connect at the end). they're all a fun time but this issue in particular is hilarious. comics usually don't make me actually laugh but this one did
for a more meta read that explores exactly what makes wade unique from other superheroes:
deadpool kills the marvel universe (2011)—in my opinion THE most iconic deadpool run, i'm sure everyone's heard of it lmao. a little darker but hey cameos from every marvel character ever. this was the first deadpool comic i ever read and it was a good time
for a familiar face from deadpool and wolverine (for other specific familiar faces you could just search "deadpool vs [character]" and that comic would probably exist):
honestly just search "deadpool and wolverine" and you'll probably get the whole list but here are some i've read that are lovely:
deadpool & wolverine: wwiii (2024)
deadpool vs. wolverine: slash 'em up infinity comic (2024)
for long in-depth characterisation that explores a lot of deadpool lore:
deadpool (2012)—if you've been following me you might know this is my favourite deadpool comic ever. it's pretty depressing and much grittier than the movie deadpool you might be used to, also REALLY long so it can be daunting but it's very worth it imo. it starts to get really good by the good, the bad, and the ugly issue and there's just SO much in it. for me wade in this run is inseparable from wade as a character to me (this comic is also followed up with deadpool (2015) and despicable deadpool (2017). these aren't necessary to read because 2012 kind of wraps up on its own, but it's definitely bittersweet to get to the end)
deadpool (1997)—another hulk of a comic run. i have not read this yet but i've heard very good things about it, and many people say that joe kelly is the defining deadpool writer so you could give it a go! older comics may be a little harder to read though, from experience
for comics with ellie (wade's daughter) that you may want to read in order if you want to fully appreciate her and wade's relationship:
deadpool (2012, 2014, 2015)
deadpool (2018, issues #8, #12, #15)
deadpool (2024)
a lot of comics will sometimes redirect you to other comics that explore a sideplot, and the main comic will just pick up where those left off so you could miss some storyline. despite this it's not necessary to read those other comics, but if you want to avoid multiple instances of this when you first go in, then i would suggest starting with the shorter runs!!
i hope this was helpful lmao sorry this got really long but i think the starting point really is different for everyone depending on what they like
#user: gossippool 😝#gossippool asks#i'll probably keep updating this as i go along#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson
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Bringing back Only then
I've been missing Jikook so very much and watching song edits, cause why not, right?
And Only then, that is one that is on repeat for me.
JK's cover of this song is so damn good.
And I'm sitting there eating my breakfast (tmi of the day?) and watching the edit and reading the lyrics again and it just clicks in my brain.
Obviously those lyrics and JK's choice to cover the song and his unbelievably emotional singing that just draws you in is not something new. This song meant something to him, way back in 2018. Let's not forget that he released his cover for White day 2018, surprise surprise. Yeah, White day. We know what he was doing on White day 2023...
March 2018, following Jikook's Tokyo trip. March 2018, when members were rethinking if, what, where and how to continue as BTS, as artists.
This one wasn't written by him, but it sure meant A LOT to him!!!
Those lyrics.
They meant everything back then in 2018.
But now. In 2024. Looking back at the two of them, and even more so at the last 3 years, these words, they hit me like a freight train.
The lyrics.
Their past.
Their present.
Their future.
The way to love me isn’t hard Just hold me tight like you are now
We don’t know what will happen to us later But I like that nothing’s decided
Who cares what others say? We can’t live without each other, so what’s the problem? We can be more in love together
I can't...
These lines hit even harder now that we know what they went through in 2023 (well, part of what they went through, but we did see on live just how affected JK was), and to what lengths they went to not be separated during their military service.
But this isn't the end of it.
Because the next lines repeat that sentiment.
If you start to like someone else If I get used to not being with you When that time comes, when it’s that time Only then we can break up
And obviously, that ain't happening any time soon.
Nope, not happening...
Not at all.
Oh, and back to this again...
This song, it's lyrics, they just hit so hard.
The way to love you isn’t hard If I smile once more and care for you more
Clip credit to @ nuri நூரி
The way we love isn’t hard If we look at each other like it’s the first time every time
Whether you want it or not, I’m going to hold onto you When I get too tired that I can’t even walk When that time comes, when it’s that time Only then we can break up Only then we can break up
Now I am definitley ugly crying. Bawling my eyes out.
I miss them so much.
😭😭
#Jikook#Kookmin#Minkook#Jungkook#JK#JK covers#Jimin#JM#Jikook hugs#Jikook enlisted together#Only then JK
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~•♡•~ Total Eclipse Of The Heart
➳ Summary: You take Daryl to watch the 2017 solar eclipse (Daryl x GN!Reader)
➳ Setting: Southern Virginia, August 21st, 2017 (in the 6 year timeskip in season 9)
➳ Word count: 1.6k
➳ C/W: Nothing
➳ A/N: Simple thing cuz I hated Leah watching something as special as the eclipse w/ Daryl in the show cuz I DO NOT LIKE her ass so I rewrote it cuz I believe there's few things more bonding than watching an eclipse with someone. Whippin out the dad music reference on this one. (I am working on reqs! I just have training for my job which my boss very reassuringly dubbed “bootcamp” and health shit is beating my ass I need to call like 3 specialty clinics again um 🗿)
“Ya ever gon’ tell me where we goin'?”
“Nope. Almost there,” You replied, a cheeky grin on your face as you swiveled your head back to glance at Daryl who sat behind you on his motorcycle. You'd dragged him out of his guilt-ridden solitude in the forest and demanded he get on, saying you needed to show him something and would not be taking ‘nah’ for an answer. You'd been driving southwest for nearly two hours now, headed towards something specific.
Daryl had little sense of the date, having spent nearly the last 3 ½ years out in the woods, wrapped up in his search for Rick. You stayed with him from time to time, Carol checking in as well, but he was too stubborn to go home with either of you no matter how many times you urged it. Even if he knew the day, you weren't sure he'd even know why it was special.
You, however, had been tracking the calendar and lunar cycles, and kept one specific date and pattern in your mind for the last 7 years; August 21st, 2017. You remembered ages ago, reading on science forums and listening to programs on the television, that today, the paths of the moon and the sun would perfectly align and grace a total solar eclipse across the entirety of the United States.
Your lives were such shit in so many ways: flesh eating, rotting corpses snarling after you at every second, run in after run in with malicious and corrupt people and groups, the lack of food, water, shelter and security, so many people gone – and that didn't include everything from before the dead reawoke. And with Daryl unadmittably depressed after the bridge, you would've done anything to show him there were other things in life to focus on. To live for.
So you left Alexandria early in the morning, found Daryl's camp, and forced him to join you. At first he'd thought something godawful had once again disturbed the communities, so bad you couldn’t tell him. But when you started driving the opposite direction, he grew confused and repeatedly asked what was going on, yet you never gave him an answer. Still, he trusted it was important – trusted you – and let you lead him.
❥-》》—————➣
You pulled off the side of the road, powering down the engine and putting up the kickstand, sliding off and stepping to walk into the forest. You'd gone further down into Virginia, knowing that was closer to totality. It wouldn't be complete, but the distance made a difference. “Alright, c'mon.”
Daryl grabbed your wrist, tugging you back and catching your attention, his eyebrows narrowed. “Really? Tha hell's s’all this? Ya haul me'ah hundred miles away tah walk in tha damn forest?”
“Ya spend all your time in a forest anyway, Dixon.” His expression hardered a little, and you sighed. “Please just follow me. I promise you, it's worth it.”
He looked over the features of your face, judging the sentiment they conveyed, and after a moment let you go. You were already here, no point in going back now. As you spun back around, he begrudgingly trailed after you.
You scanned the environment as you went, stopping near an opening in the canopy of trees that gave view to the sky. You could tell by the slanting of shadows and the slightly abnormal shape of light above you that the process had already begun, all that was left was to observe. So you set your bag down and sat, motioning for Daryl to as well.
“Thi'sa picnic or sum?” He questioned, grunting a little as he unsurely slung his belongings off his shoulder to the ground and did the same, settling beside you.
“Could be, I do have some food.” He didn't seem amused. “But no, not a picnic. You know what the day is? Any idea why it's meaningful?”
“Ts'summer, kno’ tha’. M'ah supposed tah kno’?”
“Maybe, I don't expect you to. Here.” You twisted and opened your bag, reaching for a welding mask you'd brought along and passed it to him. “Look at the sun.”
The archer eyed the facial shield, then you, but listened and held it to his face before shifting his gaze up. He squinted, taking sight of the arc carving that ate into the historically circular form of the burning celestial body. And you explained; “It's August 21st… 2017.”
He had to think for a bit. “Tha eclipse?” He lowered the mask and peered back at you. Memories lodged deep in the layers of his mind sparked; learning about eclipses way back in highschool and hearing his teacher mention it, then the annular one in ‘94 and seeing pictures plastered all over the news where they discussed the future.
“Yeah, thought we should see it. It'll look better down here, not perfect, but still… and the lens on that is dark enough it shouldn't hurt our eyes,” You answered, taking your own look before laying back and using your bag as a pillow. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but that's roughly the last thing you cared about right now.
He couldn't help but just stare for a minute, studying how nonchalant you were about everything. How you'd so easily removed him from his rut when so many other attempts had failed, even with his cluelessness around your intentions – like some larger force took hold and finally willed him to break his destructive routine.
Daryl sprawled out next to you on the forest floor, trading the welding shield back and forth over the course of the next half hour, as well as a piece of paper to see the casted geometry. You both watched as more and more of the sun was etched away, taking mental images each time and comparing the new form to the old. It was mostly quiet, lost in similar awe but varying thoughts. You inched closer every time it was his turn, assuming he noticed but didn't point it out.
“Y'know… total solar eclipses are meant to be when the deities and energies fuse, just as the paths do. A window for opportunities and transformation… time for change,” You commented, recalling all people said about the symbolism of such an event. He gave an ‘Mm’, just so you knew he'd heard you, but paid more attention to the progression in the ethers.
The world around you began to rapidly darken, a sliver of orange glow visible in the makeshift glasses. Knowing it was close, you slid your left palm into his right, weaving fingers together, and he returned the hold, still remaining absorbed in the view.
The moon crossed over the sun – at least as best it would from your vantage point; golden rays illuminating around solid black. As Daryl's eyes locked on the sky, taking it all in, yours locked on him, choosing to watch him over a potentially once in a lifetime occurrence. He lowered the mask to briefly see it fully, now reaching for the sheet.
He looked at peace, maybe for the first time in his life: the constant storm of thoughts that persistently clouded his mind finally parting, even if for just a small moment. You witnessed the glitter of genuine emotion return to his blue's, something you'd feared was so long abandoned it may have been forgotten. Rich browns of his wavy hair glowed iridescent auburns when shimmers of sunlight peeked through the leaves, perfectly complementing everything about his being.
You knew you each needed that change.
“I love you.”
He took a second, making sure the sound of your voice was real and not crafted by his own imagination. His head turned, somewhat staggered to find your eyes already meeting his. It was impossible to rip away, your visions warping together as you seemed to merge, entranced by the little crescents that reflected on each other's irises. His free hand ditched the paper and reached over as he partly rolled to his side.
“For a long time.”
In fluid movements, Daryl's calloused fingers smoothed across the delicate skin on your cheek, leaning in and bringing you to him in a longing kiss. You didn't entirely expect it, although you didn't expect anything in particular at all, too unsure of how he'd react. But you pushed back against him, deepening the kiss and paying no thought to anything beside how it felt to finally overlap with him – till he broke away.
“I love ya too,” He mused, accent thickening in the confession. When you opened your mouth to continue, he shut you up with another peck and angled your face straight above. “Watch. M'not bein’ tha reason ya miss this.”
Words could wait, but the eclipse would not. So you obliged, cuddling closer to him and squeezing his hand as birds and insects sung in a concerned ensemble triggered by the daylight's disappearance.
The tranquility was eerie, a sensation mostly left in the rubble of society and replaced by prevalent chaos. You wondered if the feeling was shared elsewhere; at home with everyone in Alexandria, with survivors across the entire rest of the country. Maybe those who didn't know thought the holy spirit was returning to rescue your raptured souls. Did the walkers pause to look too? Everything so out of the ordinary it caught their attention?
But none of that mattered to you, because you had it here. And you basked in it with the one person you'd always hoped you would've.
©corvidcrossbow 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified or adapted to other platforms. My work may be translated only if asked and with proof of given consent.
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon headcanon#twd#the walking dead#normanreedus#norman reedus#daryldixon#daryl dixon fanfic#the walking dead fanfiction#daryl fanfiction#twd daryl#daryl x reader#daryl imagines#daryl x female reader#twd daryl dixon#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon fluff#daryl dixon fic#daryl drabbles#the walking dead daryl
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Sweet Dreams - Chapter 1
Series Summary: Alexandria Sokolova spent 15 years with HYDRA, ever since her parents and brother were killed in front of her when she was 3. She was raised to be a soldier; an assassin. But now, faced with coming to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, she has to come to terms that there are people around her who don't want to hurt her, people who actually care about her.
But recognizing that is harder than it seems, especially with a teacher like Logan Howlett, who seems to care more about her than he lets on.
Just because she's currently safe from HYDRA's grasp now, doesn't mean she's safe forever.
Chapter Summary: The Avengers bring Alexandria to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.
Word Count: 8.9k+
Pairing: Logan (X-Men) x Original Female Character (platonic relationship)
Notes: and hello! welcome to this series! this is going to be a long one, since there are going to be three parts, this story, another series based around 'logan (2017)' and another based on 'deadpool and wolverine'.
but let's get a few things out of the way. this is NOT a romance with alexandria and logan. this is about them slowly recognizing they are more alike than different, and how they both eventually let their guard down around each other. if you will, it's a 'slow burn' father-daughter relationship.
another thing, alexandria's powers are as followed: dream-weaver; enter and manipulate dreams and telekinesis. you'll understand a bit more as you read on.
another, another thing, this is an au, the characters of jean, scott, kitty, jubilee, and others mentioned are TEENAGERS. they are students in high-school level classes as the X-Mansion, not adults. some of these characters may seem ooc, and if we're being honest it's because i've only watched first class-dark pheonix, the deadpool movies, wolverine origins, and logan. i tried watching the original x-men movies but i ended up falling asleep (oops). so if these characters are written wrong, it's my fault, but we are sticking with the ooc tag.
Series Masterlist → Chapter 2
AO3 Link For Chapter
Alexandria didn’t much care for whatever they were taking her. The Avengers, that is. Being saved from HYDRA did warrant them a ‘thank you’, but after a few days of staying at the Avengers Compound, they decided that it wasn’t a “good fit”.
Meaning a few things: one, they were scared of her, which was unlikely considering her powers weren’t all that terrifying, or two, they simply didn’t want to deal with a 17-year-old girl with trauma dating back 14 years ago.
The only three people who talked to her like a normal person was Wanda, Bucky, and Natasha, which she appreciated greatly.
“Coming up on the school.” Tony’s voice sounded out through the cockpit of the Quinjet.
Alexandria rolled her eyes, this all seemed like too much. She was a kid, just rescued from a terrorist organization and now she was supposed to go to school?
Was this a fucking joke?
Alexandria glared out the window as the Quinjet descended towards the sprawling grounds of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. The idea of school felt absurd after everything she’d been through. She crossed her arms, sinking deeper into her seat, eyes narrowed.
“Hey, I know it’s not ideal, but this place might be good for you,” Natasha said, catching Alexandria’s expression. She leaned over from her seat across the aisle, her voice gentle but firm.
“Yeah, a place full of more people who can do freaky stuff. Great,” Alexandria muttered.
Bucky, seated next to Natasha, turned to her. “It’s not just about powers. You’ll meet people who understand you, maybe even help you find some peace.”
Alexandria snorted, her skepticism apparent. “Peace? That’s rich coming from you.”
Bucky’s face tightened for a moment, but he nodded. “Touché. But it’s worth a shot.”
Tony’s voice came through again. “We’re landing. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be.”
The Quinjet touched down smoothly, and the ramp lowered. Charles Xavier was waiting, a welcoming smile on his face, his wheelchair positioned at the edge of the landing zone. Beside him stood a younger man, wearing glasses, a flannel shirt, a tie, and a white lab coat.
Alexandria hesitated at the top of the ramp, glancing back at the Avengers. Wanda gave her an encouraging nod, while Natasha and Bucky looked on with reassuring expressions.
“Come on, kid,” Tony said, gesturing for her to follow. “Let’s get this over with.”
With a resigned sigh, Alexandria descended the ramp. Charles rolled forward to meet her, his eyes kind and understanding.
“Welcome, Alexandria,” he said warmly. “I’m Charles Xavier, and this is Hank McCoy. We’re here to help you.”
Hank offered a friendly smile. “Hi there. We’re really glad to have you here.”
Alexandria nodded stiffly, feeling the weight of their expectations. “Thanks, I guess.”
Charles seemed unfazed by her reluctance. “Why don’t we show you around? Hank, could you give Alexandria a tour while I have a word with our friends?”
“Sure thing,” Hank replied. “Come on, Alexandria, I’ll show you the school.”
As they walked away, Alexandria glanced back to see Charles engaging in a serious conversation with the Avengers. She couldn’t hear the words, but the tone suggested they were discussing her future.
“So, this place is like a school for mutants?” Alexandria asked, trying to make sense of it all.
“Exactly,” Hank said. “We offer a safe environment for young mutants to learn and grow. You’ll find a lot of people here who understand what you’ve been through.”
“Doubt it.” she muttered. Part of her didn’t even believe she was a so-called ‘mutant’. What she was however, was an experiment.
Hank chuckled softly as he led Alexandria through the halls of the Xavier Institute. “Well, I can’t promise you that everyone will understand perfectly, but you’re not alone in feeling out of place.”
“Yeah, right,” Alexandria replied, glancing around at the impressive but unfamiliar surroundings. “I’m supposed to just fit in here after everything that’s happened?”
“Everyone here has their own struggles and history,” Hank said. “Some are more recent than others, but we all find a way to make it work.”
They passed by a few classrooms, and Alexandria noticed students engaged in various activities. Some were reading, others were practicing what looked like combat techniques. It was clear this was not a typical school.
“Here’s the gym,” Hank said, opening a door to a large, well-equipped space. “It’s not just for physical training. It’s a place where students can test their abilities and find out what they’re capable of.”
Alexandria’s eyes flicked over the gym, taking in the equipment and the few students who were sparring. “Sounds like a lot of work.”
“Training can be intense, but it’s also important,” Hank said. “And there’s more to this place than just classes. You’ll find people who become like family.”
“Family, huh?” Alexandria muttered. “That’s something I’ve never had.”
Hank looked at her, his expression thoughtful. “You’re not alone here. Many of us have found a sense of family and belonging. It takes time, but it happens.”
They continued the tour, moving to the dormitory area where Alexandria would be staying. Hank showed her the common areas and her room, which was modest but comfortable.
“This is where you’ll be staying,” Hank said, opening the door to a small, neatly arranged room. “It’s not much, but it’s yours.”
Alexandria walked in, setting her bag down on the bed. “Great. Just what I always wanted. A room of my own.”
Hank smiled faintly. “It’s a start. And if you need anything or have questions, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Sure,” Alexandria said, her tone flat. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
As Hank left her to settle in, Alexandria stared out the window, her thoughts racing. The enormity of her situation was starting to sink in. This was supposed to be a new beginning, but it felt more like another form of confinement.
She stared down at the baggy jeans she was currently wearing, something that probably came from deep inside Wanda’s closet.
Alexandria wasn’t much for talking, nor did she know what to do. Usually, she was only let out of her cell for lab-time, which lasted the entire day, before being thrown back into her cell.
She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the small, framed picture of the school grounds that hung on the wall. The room, though modest, was far from the sterile, cold environment she’d been accustomed to. But that didn’t make it feel any less isolating. The quiet was oppressive, and she found herself fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, a nervous habit she’d developed over the years.
A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. She stood up quickly, her pulse quickening. It was probably someone from the staff, here to check on her or give her some new set of instructions.
“Hey,” a voice called through the door. “It’s me, Kitty. Mind if I come in?”
Alexandria hesitated for a moment before opening the door. A girl about her age stood there, wearing a casual hoodie and jeans. Her brown hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and her eyes were a warm brown, filled with curiosity.
“Hi,” Kitty said with a friendly smile. “Charles sent me to see if you needed anything. I’m one of the students here.”
“Uh, sure,” Alexandria said, stepping aside to let her in. “I didn’t know anyone was coming by.”
Kitty stepped into the room, looking around with a mixture of interest and sympathy. “I know it’s probably a lot to take in right now. I remember my first few days here weren’t exactly easy.”
Alexandria sat back down on her bed, feeling a bit self-conscious. “It’s... different. I’ve never been to a place like this before.”
Kitty nodded, taking a seat on the small desk chair. “Yeah, it’s a lot to get used to. But it’s a good place. People here care about each other. I know it might not feel that way right now, but it does get better.”
“Do you really think so?” Alexandria asked, her skepticism evident.
“Absolutely,” Kitty replied earnestly. “I know it sounds cliché, but this place is like a family for a lot of us. You might not feel it yet, but you’re not alone.”
Alexandria shrugged, not entirely convinced. “I guess we’ll see.”
Kitty tilted her head, studying Alexandria for a moment. “You’ve probably been through a lot, right? With HYDRA and all that?”
“More than you could imagine,” Alexandria muttered. She hadn’t talked much about her past, even to the Avengers. It was easier to keep it all inside, where it couldn’t hurt anyone else.
Kitty’s expression softened. “If you ever want to talk, I’m here. Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest.”
“Thanks,” Alexandria said, though her tone suggested she wasn’t ready to take her up on the offer just yet.
Kitty stood up, giving her a reassuring smile. “Well, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay and see if you needed anything. If you do, just let me or any of the staff know.”
“Alright,” Alexandria said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Kitty nodded and made her way to the door. “See you around, Alexandria.”
As Kitty left, Alexandria sat back down on her bed, feeling the quiet settle around her again. The small bit of interaction had been a welcome distraction, but it also left her feeling more alone than before. She wasn’t used to people reaching out, and it made her wary.
And because she was wary, she spent the rest of the day in her room trying to figure out what the object on her desk was. It looked almost like a small, compact box, with many wires connecting to it.
After hours of trying to understand, night fell, and she needed a break. Alexandria grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before walking through the empty halls.
Finally, Alexandria stepped through a side door and found herself in a large, open field surrounded by trees. The night air was cool, and the quiet was a welcome contrast to the clamor of her thoughts. She lit her cigarette, the tip glowing softly in the darkness, and took a long drag. The smoke curled around her, blending with the shadows.
She leaned against the door frame, looking out at the expanse of grass and trees. The quiet of the night felt different here, less oppressive than the silence of her room. Maybe it was the openness, or maybe it was the fact that she was alone, and for the moment, she didn't have to pretend to be okay.
"Smoking's bad for you, you know," a gruff voice said from behind her.
Alexandria tensed, turning to see Logan standing there, someone Hank had mentioned to her, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was hard to read, but his eyes held a hint of curiosity.
She took another drag from her cigarette, exhaling slowly. "So I've heard."
Logan stepped closer, his gaze fixed on her. "You planning to make this a habit, or just tonight?"
"Does it matter?" she replied, her tone defensive.
"Maybe not to you," Logan said, "but to the people around here, it does. They care about what happens to you."
Alexandria let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, right. I'm just another problem for them to solve."
"You're not a problem," Logan said, his voice firm. "You're a kid who's been through hell and needs a chance to find herself again."
“Find myself?” she scoffed. “There’s nothing to find.” Alexandria turned to face Logan, who lit a cigar, much bigger than her cigarette. She scoffed again. “You’re one to talk.”
Logan took a long drag from his cigar, the end flaring bright in the dark. “I’m not here to lecture you, bub. Just saying it like it is.”
Alexandria rolled her eyes, taking another drag from her cigarette. “Yeah, well, I don’t need your advice.”
Logan’s gaze was steady, unyielding. “You might not want it, but you sure as hell need it.”
“Why do you even care?” she snapped. “You don’t know me.”
Logan exhaled a plume of smoke, his eyes never leaving hers. “No, I don’t. But I’ve seen enough kids like you to know when someone’s hurting. And I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to go through it alone.”
She rolled her eyes, dropping her cigarette and stomping out the light. “I’d much rather be alone.”
Logan watched as Alexandria stomped out her cigarette, the ember disappearing into the grass. The silence that followed was heavy, and he could see the tension in her posture. He took another drag from his cigar, letting the smoke curl around him before letting it out in a slow stream.
"You think pushing people away is gonna make things better?" Logan asked, his voice rough but not unkind.
Alexandria didn’t respond immediately, her gaze fixed on the dark field ahead. “It’s easier this way. Less chance of someone screwing things up.”
“Yeah, 'cause being alone always solves everything,” Logan replied sarcastically. “Look, I get it. You’re used to keeping people at arm’s length. But if you keep shutting everyone out, you’re never gonna get what you need.”
“What I need is to be left alone,” Alexandria snapped. “I’ve survived this long on my own. I don’t need a bunch of strangers telling me what to do.”
Logan took a few steps closer, the crunch of his boots on the gravel breaking the silence. “And how’s that working out for you? You ever stop to think that maybe you’re just scared to let anyone in?”
Alexandria shot him a sharp look. “I’m not scared. I’m practical. I know what happens when you let people get close.”
“And what’s that?” Logan asked, his voice low and steady.
“They get hurt,” Alexandria said flatly. “Or worse, they end up hurting you.”
Logan shook his head. “You’re making it sound like everyone’s out to get you. That’s not true. Some people actually want to help, but they can’t do it if you keep pushing them away.”
“Everyone is out to get me. I let someone in before and it didn’t end so well for them.” She shook her head gently, removing the graphic, bloody images from her head.
The anger and pain inside her were like a storm, churning and relentless. She didn’t know how to let anyone in, how to trust after everything she’d been through. HYDRA had stripped her of that ability, leaving her with nothing but suspicion and fear.
Logan sighed, taking another drag from his cigar. “Look, kid, I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. Hell, it’s probably gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But you’ve got a chance here, a real shot at something better. Don’t throw it away because you’re scared.”
Alexandria glanced at him, her expression softening ever so slightly. There was something in Logan’s eyes, a flicker of understanding that made her want to believe him. But the walls she’d built were high and thick, and she wasn’t sure she could tear them down.
“I’ll think about it,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
Logan nodded, his gaze steady. “That’s all I’m asking. Just give it a shot.”
With that, he turned and walked back toward the mansion, leaving Alexandria alone with her thoughts. She watched him go, feeling a strange mix of frustration and hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of the darkness that had consumed her life for so long. But it would take more than a few words from a gruff stranger to convince her.
She stayed outside for a while longer, the cool night air helping to clear her mind. When she finally went back inside, the mansion was quiet, most of the residents already asleep. She made her way to her room, the events of the day playing over and over in her mind.
As she lay in bed, she thought about what Logan had said. She wasn’t ready to trust, not yet. But maybe, in time, she could find a way to let someone in. For now, she would take it one day at a time, trying to navigate this new world she’d been thrust into.
---
The following morning, Alexandria awoke to a soft knock on her door. She groggily sat up, rubbing her eyes as the door opened slightly, and Kitty peeked her head in.
“Hey, sorry to wake you,” Kitty said with an apologetic smile. “But I thought you might want some breakfast. We have a pretty good spread in the dining hall.”
Alexandria stretched and nodded, still not fully awake. “Yeah, sure. Thanks, Kitty.”
“No problem,” Kitty replied. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
After quickly changing into some clothes that fit her better, Alexandria joined Kitty in the hallway. The two girls walked to the dining hall together, the atmosphere between them more relaxed than it had been the previous day.
“So, how was your first night?” Kitty asked as they walked.
Alexandria shrugged. “It was okay, I guess. A lot to take in.”
Kitty nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I get that. But trust me, it gets better. The people here are really great once you get to know them.”
When they reached the dining hall, Alexandria was surprised to see how lively it was. Students were chatting, laughing, and eating together, the room filled with a sense of camaraderie and belonging. It was a stark contrast to the isolation she’d known for so long.
As they grabbed their food and sat down, Alexandria couldn’t help but feel a bit out of place. But Kitty was friendly and patient, introducing her to some of the other students and helping her feel more at ease.
Alexandria looked at the food on her tray. Some of it was colorful, in fact, it all was. There were red triangular objects on her tray with a green leafy top, a fluffy golden-brown circle, and a small cup of amber liquid.
Alexandria stared at the food on her tray, her brow furrowed in confusion. She poked at the red triangular object with a fork, then glanced over at Kitty, who was already digging into her own breakfast.
“What’s this?” Alexandria asked, holding up the fork with the red object speared on the end.
Kitty looked over and grinned. “That’s a strawberry. Haven’t you had one before?”
Alexandria shook her head, eyeing the strawberry warily. “Not that I remember.”
Kitty’s expression softened. “You should try it. They’re pretty good.”
With some hesitation, Alexandria took a small bite of the strawberry. The sweet and slightly tangy taste was foreign to her, but not unpleasant. She nodded slowly, chewing thoughtfully. “It’s... different.”
Kitty laughed. “Yeah, in a good way, though. That round thing is a pancake, and the syrup is for pouring on top. Trust me, breakfast here is usually a highlight.”
Alexandria mimicked Kitty’s actions, pouring a small amount of syrup onto the pancake and taking a cautious bite. The flavors were rich and comforting, and she found herself enjoying it more than she expected.
As they ate, the din of the dining hall continued around them. Alexandria noticed how the other students seemed at ease, joking around and chatting as if they didn’t have a care in the world. It was strange to see so many people with powers like hers acting so... normal.
“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Alexandria asked, trying to sound casual but feeling a bit lost.
“Well,” Kitty began, “after breakfast, there’s usually some training sessions. You’ll probably have an orientation with Professor Xavier and maybe some one-on-one time with one of the teachers to figure out where you’re at with your abilities.”
Alexandria nodded, pushing her half-finished pancake around on her plate. “Sounds like fun,” she muttered sarcastically.
Kitty smiled sympathetically. “It might not be as bad as you think. Plus, it’s good to know what you can do. There are some pretty cool things you could learn here.”
Alexandria took a sip of her juice, trying to ignore the bustling energy of the room. “Yeah, well, we'll see.”
Kitty looked around at the other students who were beginning to head off for their various activities. “Hey, you want me to show you around a bit more before the orientation starts? I can give you the rundown on some of the places you might want to know about.”
Alexandria shrugged, finishing off her pancake. “Sure, why not. Couldn’t hurt to know what I’m dealing with.”
Kitty led her out of the dining hall, guiding her through the maze of corridors. “So, that’s the library over there. It’s got a lot of books on pretty much everything—powers, history, science. It’s a good place to catch up on some reading.”
Alexandria glanced over. “Got it. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“And over here is the common room,” Kitty continued. “It’s where everyone hangs out, watches TV, plays games. It’s pretty chill.”
Alexandria raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like a place I’ll avoid.”
Kitty laughed softly. “Fair enough. Oh, and there’s a small gym off to the side. It’s not as big as the main one, but it’s good for some light workouts.”
As they walked, Alexandria’s gaze drifted to the various students passing by, their casual conversations and easy smiles making her feel like an outsider. She didn’t belong here, and she wasn’t sure if she ever would.
“So, how do you get on with the teachers?” Alexandria asked, trying to shift the focus of the conversation away from her discomfort.
Kitty’s expression turned thoughtful. “They’re pretty great, actually. Professor Xavier is really understanding, and Hank is super smart. There are a few others who are great too, but it depends on what you need.”
“Yeah? And what about Logan?” Alexandria asked, her tone a little sharper than she intended.
Kitty hesitated before answering. “Logan’s... Logan. He’s got his own way of doing things, but he means well. You’ll get used to him.”
“I met him the other night,” Alexandria said, her voice dropping to a murmur. “He didn’t seem all that interested in being nice.”
Kitty nodded. “That’s kind of his style. He’s not exactly a touchy-feely kind of guy, but he’s got a good heart. If you ever need anything, though, he might surprise you.”
“Yeah, I’m not holding my breath,” Alexandria muttered, more to herself than to Kitty.
Kitty gave her a sympathetic look. “Just keep an open mind. Things might not seem great now, but you might find some unexpected allies.”
As they reached the main area of the mansion where students gathered before heading to their various activities, Kitty turned to Alexandria. “I think we’ve covered the basics. How about we head to the training room? That’s where you’ll be meeting with Professor Xavier.”
Alexandria nodded, her mood lifting slightly at the prospect of getting some structure to her day. “Alright, lead the way.”
Kitty guided her through a series of hallways until they arrived at the training room. The door was slightly ajar, and the sounds of conversation and movement filtered through.
“Here we are,” Kitty said. “I’ll leave you to it. Good luck, Alexandria.”
“Thanks, Kitty,” Alexandria replied, watching as Kitty walked away. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door, stepping into the room.
Inside, Professor Xavier was waiting, his wheelchair positioned near a set of training equipment. He looked up as Alexandria entered, his expression warm and welcoming.
“Good morning, Alexandria,” he said. “I trust you’re settling in?”
Alexandria nodded, though she didn’t quite meet his gaze. “Yeah, I guess. Kitty gave me a quick tour.”
“That’s good to hear,” Professor Xavier said. “Today, I’d like to start with an assessment of your abilities. It’ll help us understand what you can do and how we can best support you.”
Alexandria braced herself, feeling a mix of nerves and irritation. “Alright. What do you need me to do?”
Professor Xavier gestured to an open area of the room. “Why don’t we start with a demonstration of your powers? If you’re comfortable, show me what you can do with dream-weaving and telekinesis.”
Alexandria took a deep breath and moved to the center of the room. She closed her eyes, focusing on her ability to manipulate dreams. She’d rarely demonstrated her powers to anyone outside of HYDRA, and the idea of doing it now made her uneasy.
She visualized a simple scenario- a peaceful meadow with gentle breezes and blooming flowers. The air around her seemed to shimmer slightly as the dreamscape began to take shape. When she opened her eyes, she saw that a small, serene meadow had appeared in the room, though it was more a projection than a physical space.
“Impressive,” Professor Xavier said, observing the scene with interest. “And what about telekinesis?”
Alexandria moved her hand slightly, and a nearby object- a small training ball- levitated off the ground, spinning slowly in the air, covered in her blue telekinetic hue. She held it there for a few moments before setting it back down.
“That’s very good,” Professor Xavier said. “You’ve got a strong control over your abilities. We’ll work on refining them and exploring how they can be used in various situations.”
Alexandria crossed her arms, still feeling the unease bubbling beneath the surface. “And what happens if I don’t want to use them?”
Professor Xavier’s expression remained calm, but there was a hint of concern in his eyes. “That’s entirely up to you. Our goal here isn’t to force you into anything, Alexandria. We’re here to help you understand your powers and give you the tools to decide how you want to use them, or not use them.”
She hesitated, her gaze drifting to the floor. “Yeah, well, understanding them didn’t really work out for me before.”
“Your experiences were under very different circumstances,” Professor Xavier said gently. “But you’re safe here, and you have the freedom to choose your path. No one here will push you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”
Alexandria looked up, meeting his gaze for a moment. There was sincerity in his words, and for the first time since she’d arrived, she felt a tiny spark of hope that maybe—just maybe—things could be different here.
“Alright,” she finally said, her voice a little softer. “What’s next?”
“We’ll take it one step at a time,” Professor Xavier said, his tone reassuring. “For now, I’d like you to get familiar with the training room and the equipment. You’ll be working with some of the other students, but if you ever need time alone, just let me or any of the teachers know.”
He led the way in his wheelchair to a different section of the training room, eerily familiar to the setup the Avengers had.
But she doesn’t like training rooms. Too many needles, wires, and electrodes attached to her and called ‘training’. It wasn’t training, it was torture. Studying her brainwaves, her movements, how her powers worked, it made her hate training.
While she’s partially sure there was none of that here, she still had to ask. Alexandria wrangled her hands before keeping them at her side, trying to seem normal and not at all disturbed. “There’s not… any- you know, electrodes or anything, is there?” she asked quietly.
Charles looked up at her, a hint of sadness in his eyes. It was the softest he had heard Alexandria’s voice since she arrived and the closest he had seen her act like her age. For a moment, he hesitated, weighing his words carefully.
“No, Alexandria,” he said gently, his tone reassuring. “There are no electrodes or anything of that sort here. This is a safe place for you to explore your abilities at your own pace. The only equipment you’ll use is designed to help you understand and control your powers better—nothing invasive, I promise.”
Alexandria nodded slowly, though the tension in her shoulders remained. “Okay,” she murmured, glancing around the room again. It was a lot to take in, but at least she wasn’t going to be hooked up to any machines. That was a relief.
Professor Xavier offered her a small, encouraging smile. “Would you like to try out some of the equipment now, or would you prefer to take a break and come back later?”
She hesitated, unsure of what she wanted. Part of her wanted to get it over with, to face whatever challenges were ahead, but another part of her just wanted to be alone, away from everything and everyone.
“I guess… I could try something small,” Alexandria finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Just to see what it’s like.”
“Of course,” Professor Xavier replied, nodding approvingly. “Why don’t we start with something simple? We have a training dummy over there,” he gestured to a humanoid figure across the room, “that’s designed to react to telekinetic force. You can try moving it, just to get a feel for your abilities in a controlled environment.”
Alexandria followed his gaze to the dummy, her expression unreadable. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this whole thing, but she figured it was better than sitting around doing nothing. At least it was a distraction.
She approached the dummy slowly, her steps hesitant. When she was close enough, she raised her hand and focused on the dummy, trying to summon the telekinetic energy within her. For a moment, nothing happened, and she felt a flicker of frustration.
Then, with a deep breath, she tried again. This time, a faint blue aura surrounded the dummy, and it lifted off the ground slightly, wobbling in the air.
“Good,” Professor Xavier encouraged from behind her. “Take your time, there’s no rush.”
Alexandria’s brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to maintain control over the dummy. It wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be, and she could feel her frustration growing. The dummy began to wobble more, and she clenched her fists, willing it to stay steady.
But her frustration got the better of her, and the dummy suddenly shot across the room, slamming into the wall with a loud crash. Alexandria flinched, her hands dropping to her sides as she took a step back, her heart pounding.
“Sorry,” she muttered, feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment.
“There’s no need to apologize,” Professor Xavier said calmly. “You’re doing well, Alexandria. It’s natural to have moments of frustration, especially when you’re trying something new. The important thing is that you’re trying.”
Alexandria didn’t respond, her gaze fixed on the floor. She hated feeling out of control, hated how her emotions seemed to dictate everything. It was a reminder of all the times she’d lost control in the past, with disastrous results.
Professor Xavier wheeled closer to her, his expression thoughtful. “Would you like to take a break? We can continue this later if you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
She shook her head, a stubborn look crossing her face. “No, I’m fine. I just… need a minute.”
“Take all the time you need,” Professor Xavier said softly. “There’s no pressure here, Alexandria. We’re here to help you, not to push you.”
Alexandria took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside her. She knew she couldn’t keep avoiding her powers forever, and maybe this was the best place to start figuring things out. But it was hard, harder than she’d expected.
“Okay,” she said after a moment, her voice steadier. “I’ll try again.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” Professor Xavier encouraged.
She took another deep breath and focused on the dummy again. This time, she tried to keep her emotions in check, to approach it with a calmer mindset. The blue aura returned, and the dummy lifted off the ground once more. It wobbled slightly, but this time she was able to keep it steady, holding it in the air for a few moments before gently lowering it back to the ground.
“Good job, Alexandria,” Professor Xavier said, a note of pride in his voice. “You’re making progress.”
She nodded, a small sense of accomplishment filling her. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Maybe, just maybe, she could get a handle on her powers after all.
“That should be good for today. I can have Kitty introduce you to some of the other students if you would like?” Charles asked.
Alexandria considered Professor Xavier’s suggestion, her mind still buzzing from the training session. Interacting with other students wasn’t high on her list of priorities, but she knew that isolating herself wasn’t going to help her in the long run. Still, the thought of making small talk or having to deal with people who would undoubtedly be curious about her past made her uneasy.
“I guess,” she said after a moment, shrugging. “It’s not like I have anything else to do.”
“Very well,” Professor Xavier replied with a nod. “I’ll have Kitty meet you outside the training room. She can introduce you to some of the others.”
Alexandria didn’t say anything, just nodded back, trying to suppress the anxiety that was bubbling up inside her. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but she figured she might as well get it over with.
“Before you go,” Professor Xavier added, his tone gentle but firm, “remember that you’re not alone here. It might feel overwhelming now, but you’ll find your place in time. Be patient with yourself.”
“Yeah,” Alexandria muttered, not entirely convinced but not wanting to argue either. “I’ll try.”
She turned and headed for the door, her footsteps echoing in the quiet training room. When she stepped outside, she found Kitty waiting for her, leaning against the wall with a friendly smile.
“Hey,” Kitty greeted, straightening up. “How’d it go?”
Alexandria shrugged. “It was fine, I guess. Just trying to figure things out.”
“That’s normal,” Kitty said, her voice light. “It takes time, but you’ll get there. Anyway, ready to meet some of the others?”
“I suppose,” Alexandria replied, her tone noncommittal. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, but she knew it was inevitable.
Kitty led her down the hallway, the sound of their footsteps the only noise between them for a moment. Alexandria could sense Kitty glancing at her occasionally, probably trying to gauge how she was feeling. She appreciated the effort, even if she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.
“So,” Kitty began, breaking the silence, “I was thinking we could start with the common room. A lot of the students hang out there between classes and training sessions. It’s pretty laid-back.”
“Alright,” Alexandria said, keeping her responses short. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but she wasn’t sure how to engage in light conversation, especially with someone she barely knew.
When they reached the common room, Alexandria was struck by how relaxed everyone seemed. Students were scattered around the space, some playing video games, others watching TV, and a few just talking or reading.
“Over there’s Bobby,” Kitty said, nodding toward a guy who was absorbed in a video game. “He’s pretty chill, likes to freeze things.”
“Freeze things?” Alexandria asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, he’s got ice powers. Cool, right?” Kitty said with a grin.
“Sure,” Alexandria replied, trying to muster some enthusiasm but mostly feeling out of place.
“And that’s Jubilee,” Kitty continued, pointing out a girl with bright yellow sunglasses who was chatting animatedly with a couple of other students. “She’s a blast—literally. She can generate fireworks.”
“Fireworks,” Alexandria repeated, her tone flat. It sounded more like a party trick than a power, but she kept that thought to herself.
Kitty seemed to sense her unease and gave her a reassuring smile. “They’re all good people. It might take some time, but you’ll get to know them. And they’ll get to know you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Alexandria muttered, not entirely convinced.
As they walked further into the room, a familiar figure caught Alexandria’s eye. Logan was sitting in a corner, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face as he watched the room with a look of vague irritation. He hadn’t noticed her yet, and Alexandria wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“Logan’s over there,” Kitty said, following her gaze. “You two met, right?”
“Yeah,” Alexandria replied, her voice tight. “Briefly.”
Kitty hesitated, picking up on the tension in Alexandria’s tone. “He’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s one of the best. He’s been through a lot, like you.”
Alexandria’s jaw tightened. She didn’t need anyone comparing her to Logan or anyone else. “I’m sure he’s great,” she said, her tone clipped.
Kitty glanced at her but didn’t push the subject. Instead, she gestured to a group of students who were chatting near the windows. “Those are some of the newer students. Might be easier to talk to them since they’re still figuring things out too.”
Alexandria looked over at the group, noticing how at ease they seemed with each other. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. She hadn’t felt that kind of comfort around others in a long time, maybe ever.
“Maybe later,” she said, not ready to dive into socializing just yet.
Kitty nodded, understanding. “No rush. You can take your time.”
Alexandria looked over at the TV, a movie playing as a bunch of the students sat around the couch and the floors entranced by it.
“Oh, Scott likes to watch Star Wars, most of the time a lot of us end up joining in.” Kitty explained.
“What’s… Star Wars?” Alexandria asked slowly.
“It’s a movie- or well, a bunch of different movies and shows. It’s a franchise.”
Alexandria tilted her head at the large TV screen, currently a girl in an all-white dress kissed a dirty-blonde boy’s cheek before he swung them across some sort of room.
It was intriguing, or maybe that’s just because she’s never seen a movie.
Kitty noticed Alexandria’s gaze fixed on the TV screen, her curiosity evident. She gave her a gentle nudge, breaking the silence. “We can stay and watch it if you’d like. I’m sure Scott won’t mind. He’s a big geek about this stuff.”
Alexandria hesitated, glancing back at Kitty with a mixture of uncertainty and intrigue. “I’ve never really watched movies before.”
Kitty’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Never? Well, this is a good place to start. Star Wars is pretty iconic, and it’s one of those things that a lot of people here are into.”
Alexandria looked back at the screen, where a space battle was unfolding amidst flashing lights and dramatic music. The idea of sitting down and watching a movie felt foreign, but also oddly appealing. “Alright,” she said finally. “I guess I can give it a try.”
Kitty smiled, leading her over to the group around the TV. Scott, a tall guy with a pair of glasses perched on his nose, glanced up from the screen as they approached. “Hey, Kitty! And, um, Alexandria, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Alexandria replied, trying to sound more relaxed than she felt.
“Great to meet you properly,” Scott said with a friendly smile. “We’re just getting into one of the best parts. You’re welcome to join us.”
Alexandria nodded, taking a seat on the couch. The other students, already absorbed in the movie, barely glanced up, which was fine by her. She sank into the cushion, trying to focus on the action-packed scenes.
Kitty settled beside her, giving a small wave to Scott and the others. “I told her you’d be okay with us joining in.”
Scott nodded, adjusting his glasses as he turned back to the screen. “No problem at all. It’s always good to have more people to discuss the movie with. We’re in the middle of the epic lightsaber duel. It’s one of my favorite parts.”
As the movie progressed, Alexandria found herself drawn into the story. The special effects were unlike anything she had ever seen, and the characters seemed to be larger than life. She didn’t fully understand all the details yet, but there was something captivating about the narrative and the way the students reacted to it.
Kitty leaned over and whispered, “So, what do you think so far?”
“It’s… different,” Alexandria admitted, her eyes still fixed on the screen. “I can see why people like it.”
Kitty grinned. “Yeah, it’s pretty immersive. And there’s a whole series of these movies, plus spin-offs and shows. It’s a bit of a rabbit hole.”
Alexandria raised an eyebrow. “How many movies are there?”
“Quite a few,” Kitty said with a chuckle. “But you don’t have to watch them all at once. We can always catch up on more later if you’re interested.”
“Hold on, Kitty.” Scott said, “there’s a certain way it should be watched. Some will say release date order, some will say chronologically, but I say no to both. It should be Episode 4, 5, then 1, 2, 3, then 6.”
Alexandria’s eyes widened, “there’s… that many?”
“Well, technically more than that, but those are the ones that really count,” Scott said, his enthusiasm evident.
Alexandria leaned back on the couch, her eyes still glued to the screen. “I didn’t realize there was so much to it,” she said, her tone carrying a hint of amazement.
Kitty smiled. “Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming at first, but it’s all part of the fun. You get to dive into this whole new universe.”
“You know what that means, right guys?” Scott asked.
A girl, sitting on the floor in front of Scott looked up at him, “Scott…” she gritted out, almost teasingly.
“Star Wars marathon!” Scott exclaimed.
Kitty leaned in to Alexandria as some of the kids groaned and others were amused. “That girl is Jean.” She gestured to the girl sitting in front of Scott, who was now rolling her eyes.
“Jean, huh?” Alexandria said, watching as Jean settled back into her spot on the floor, a bemused expression on her face.
“Yeah, she’s got some pretty impressive telepathic abilities,” Kitty said. “She’s one of the more powerful telepaths around here. But she’s cool.”
Alexandria raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite herself. She thought back to the cubed shaped thing on her desk, if Scott knew all about movies, then maybe he knew about… whatever that was.
“Um, Scott? What’s that thing on the desk? The… cubed thing?” Alexandria asked.
“That’s a computer.” He answered, shoveling popcorn into his mouth. “Do you know how to use it?”
She shook her head no.
Scott’s eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t know how to use a computer?” He looked at her with a mix of curiosity and concern. “It’s pretty basic. You can do a lot of things with it—surf the web, write documents, watch videos. But it takes some getting used to.”
Alexandria shrugged. “I’ve never seen one. What’s so special about it?”
Scott tilted his head, clearly intrigued by Alexandria’s unfamiliarity with something so commonplace. “Well, it’s one of those tools that make life a lot easier. It’s like a window to the world. You can find almost anything you need on the internet.”
Kitty, sensing that Alexandria was feeling out of her element, chimed in. “If you want, we can have a quick tutorial later. It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it.”
Alexandria looked at the computer again, her curiosity piqued. “Maybe. For now, I guess I’ll just stick to figuring out this Star Wars thing.”
Scott grinned, clearly happy to have a new project. “We can definitely work on that. Maybe after the movie, we can set up a session to show you the basics.”
“Sure,” Alexandria said, her tone more engaged than before. “I’m willing to give it a try.”
---
After the group finished the movie, which was after Scott rewound it to the beginning for Alexandria, him and Kitty taught her how to use the computer before they had to go to class.
As she browsed the web, some term Scott used, she realized it was late at night, around 11 o’clock. She took a quick shower and got into what Jean called pajamas, before getting into bed.
Sleep couldn’t claim her. The problem with her powers was that she could see people’s dreams, which was fine when she was with HYDRA, since she was either far away from other people, or they put her in her specialized cell.
Once the clock hit 2:48, Alexandria got out of bed and grabbed a cigarette and her lighter from her bag before heading up to the roof.
Last night, Logan was smoking by the side door, but tonight, and possibly all other nights in the future, the roof seemed like a better, more quiet place.
Alexandria stepped out onto the roof, the cool night air greeting her with a briskness that made her shiver. She leaned against the railing, the city lights twinkling far below. She flicked the lighter, the tiny flame illuminating her face for a moment before she took a drag.
As she exhaled, the smoke curling into the night, she heard the faintest sound of movement behind her. It wasn’t unexpected; she had a feeling she wasn’t the only one who sought the quiet solitude of the rooftop at odd hours.
After a few minutes of peace, the door at the ground floor opened up, with Logan stepping outside and smoking his own cigar. She was glad she wasn’t down there; she had enough human interaction to last a lifetime.
As she looked up at the sky, she realized quickly that she’d never seen stars before. Which was out of the ordinary, or weird, considering most people connect nighttime and dreams with the stars.
Out here, where there were almost no other signs of civilization, the stars seemed to shine brighter than she thought possible.
Alexandria decided to sit on the ledge of the building, her legs dangling and swinging, hitting the brick’s gently as she continued to look up at the night sky, her cigarette forgotten in her hand.
Down on the ground, Logan was finishing his own cigar. He had come out to the side door for some fresh air, his usual gruff demeanor on full display as he paced, taking long, deliberate drags from his cigar. The rooftop wasn’t the only place in the mansion that offered solitude, but Logan found the chill of the night air soothing.
As he neared the side of the building, Logan noticed a faint sound of movement from above. He squinted up, barely making out Alexandria’s figure silhouetted against the night sky. He grunted and took another drag, deciding to keep to his own space rather than investigate further.
Alexandria’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, the stars above providing a stark contrast to the chaos she had known. For a moment, she felt disconnected from her past, as if the night sky was a canvas offering a new beginning. She let the cigarette fall from her fingers, the small ember disappearing into the night air.
Suddenly, a light shone up from below, catching her attention. It was Logan’s cigar, glowing brightly as he took another drag. She couldn’t make out his face from this distance, but his presence was unmistakable. Alexandria’s instincts told her to retreat, to avoid any unnecessary interaction.
But Logan, in his usual fashion, wasn’t one to ignore an anomaly. He looked up again, his gaze searching for the source of the disturbance. The flicker of the cigarette's ember had caught his attention. He grunted softly, debating whether to climb the stairs or simply ignore it.
Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him. With a resigned sigh, Logan made his way to the rooftop access and began his ascent. As he approached, he could see Alexandria more clearly now- perched on the edge, seemingly lost in thought.
Logan didn’t bother with pleasantries. “Couldn’t sleep?” he called up to her, his voice carrying over the distance between them.
Alexandria looked down, her face expressionless. “Not really. Just needed some air.”
Logan grunted in acknowledgment. He walked over to the edge of the roof, leaning against the railing as he surveyed the view. “You got a problem with the stars or something?”
Alexandria shrugged. “No. Just never really seen them before.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, glancing over at her. “You mean to tell me you’ve never been outside much?”
Alexandria gave a short, bitter laugh. “Not until recently, no.”
Logan grunted, not quite sure how to respond to that. He wasn’t good with feelings, especially other people’s. He settled for taking another drag from his cigar, letting the silence hang between them for a moment.
"Not exactly the kind of thing you'd expect to hear around here," he finally said, more to himself than to her. “You’ve been through the wringer, huh?”
Alexandria nodded, her gaze still fixed on the stars. “You could say that.”
Logan watched her for a moment, trying to gauge what kind of person she was. She was tough, that much was obvious, but there was something else there too—something that reminded him a little too much of himself. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
He decided to keep it simple. “You’ll figure it out,” he said, his tone gruff but not unkind. “This place isn’t perfect, but it’s better than the alternatives.”
“Is it?” Alexandria asked, her voice carrying a hint of skepticism. “Or is it just another place with its own set of problems?”
Logan smirked, appreciating her bluntness. “Depends on how you look at it. Everyone’s got their own demons. But here, you might actually have a shot at dealing with ‘em.”
Alexandria shifted her gaze from the stars to Logan. “And what about you? What are you dealing with?”
Logan wasn’t one to open up about his past, especially not to someone he barely knew. But there was something about the way she asked the question—direct, no-nonsense—that made him consider it, if only for a second.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” he said, deflecting. “Just focus on yourself for now.”
She didn’t press further, sensing that he wasn’t the type to share more than he wanted to. Instead, she nodded, accepting his answer without any more questions.
They stood in silence for a while, the night air cool against their skin. Logan was content with the quiet, but he could tell Alexandria was still restless.
“Why do you stay here?” Alexandria asked, breaking the silence but keeping her gaze on the stars.
Logan took a deep drag from his cigar, exhaling slowly as he considered her question. “It’s as good a place as any,” he replied, his tone neutral. “Better than most, actually. Got people here who understand.”
“Understand what?” she pressed, turning her eyes to him, searching for something in his expression.
Logan met her gaze, his own hard and unreadable. “What it’s like to have a past that doesn’t let go,” he said simply. “This place gives you a chance to move forward, if you let it.”
Alexandria snorted softly, a hint of bitterness in the sound. “Sounds like you’re trying to sell me something.”
Logan shrugged, unbothered by her cynicism. “Not selling anything. Just telling it like it is.”
She looked back at the sky, her fingers drumming lightly against the brick. “I’ve been around people who claimed they could help before. Never turned out well.”
“Yeah, well,” Logan said, flicking ash from his cigar, “this place isn’t perfect. But it’s different. Nobody here’s gonna bullshit you. And you’ll have to pull your own weight.”
Alexandria’s lips twitched in what could almost be mistaken for a smile, but there was no humor in it. “Pull my own weight. That I can do.”
“I’m sure,” Logan replied, his tone dry.
They lapsed back into silence, but it was less uncomfortable this time, as if they’d reached some sort of understanding. Alexandria leaned back on her hands, still sitting on the edge of the building, letting the night breeze cool her skin.
Logan finished his cigar and glanced over at her, noticing the way she seemed to relax, even if just a little. “You planning on sitting out here all night?” he asked, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
“Maybe,” Alexandria answered, noncommittal. “Why? You worried about me?”
Logan’s smirk was barely visible in the dim light. “Not my style to worry about anyone.”
“Good,” she replied, her tone matching his. “I don’t need anyone worrying about me.”
“Figured as much,” Logan said, pushing himself off the railing. “Just remember, you don’t have to do everything alone here. But you do have to show up. Can’t just hide out on rooftops.”
Alexandria gave a slight nod, acknowledging his words but not committing to anything. Logan didn’t push further; he’d said what he needed to say. With a final glance at her, he turned and headed back toward the door.
“Logan,” Alexandria called out, just as he reached the stairwell.
He paused, looking back at her. “Yeah?”
She hesitated, then shrugged, as if she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. “Thanks. For… you know.”
Logan gave a short nod, his expression softening just a fraction. “Don’t mention it.”
With that, he disappeared down the stairs, leaving Alexandria alone on the rooftop once more. She watched the door close behind him, then turned her attention back to the stars. Maybe this place was different.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x oc#logan howlett x original character#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x oc#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x alexandria sokolova#sweet dreams#project reverie
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WTs behavior sure is... *something* to watch as a latecommer. you've covered it all better than I can articulate but damn does it ever haunt that they've essentially tripled-down on Rachel as the winning racehorse, someone who's historically been the most "go girl give us nothing" (if not worse than nothing) of all their past bigshots even w/o the trust in the show sinking lower and lower day by silent day.
It's not a profound remark but I stand in the on going scene like "This is it? Your plan?" as they keep digging. They desperately need something new to have breakout popularity, but they can't do that if they don't take in new blood, which they won't because new blood is a risk, etc. And so the scene is damned anew.
look, off the non-existent record that is my shitposting blog, as someone who just spent half an hour listening to their recent conference call with Goldman Sachs... in my very humble opinion, there is allegedly a metric FUCKTON of copium being huffed and I don't think the Goldman Sachs rep even realizes how much he's being talked down to. It's actually fucking hilarious. And I'm just a dweeb on the Internet, I shouldn't be sitting here picking up on the condescending vibes for what they are throughout a meeting that talks about shit like investment opportunities and quarterly returns and advertising metrics but... let's just say, WT's CFO David Lee's statement, "...proof will be in quarters I release, and I'm humbled by the reaction to my Q2 release which, again, I have to say, I thought I over delivered every single metric... but here we are, and I just have to continue to post results I guess to help educate all of you on the business I think we have" is even more passive aggressive to hear than it is to read, soooo here we are. Like, the chirpy tone in his voice just makes me think of this:
and yeah at this point they're beating the dead horse that is LO harder than the critical community is because even the critical community has largely moved on with their lives and only talk about it casually with other critical readers; meanwhile Webtoons is seriously over here trying to sell people on LO as if it's still 2021 and they're not years late to the party 💀 Even that quote I included in my last post saying that Rachel got started "4 or 5 years ago"... Lore Olympus launched in the Canvas section in 2017 and then as an Originals in March 2018. It's been longer than 4 years, Mr. Lee, and at this point the amount of time that's passed since selling its TV rights to Jim Henson Company will exceed the amount of time it took to even complete the comic in the first place 😭😆 The time to capitalize on LO's success was when it was successful, not 3-4 years after the fact.
#ask me anything#ama#anon ama#anon ask me anything#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical#webtoon critical#i hope Webtoons cries about how mean i am in their next meeting :) <3#and i'm not joking btw when i say the way he said that statement is SO FUCKING SALTY#it's literally like “i tHoUgHt i oVeR-dELiVeReD eVeRy siNgLe mEtRiC”#idk if i can legally share the audio#but trust me it's wild
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Chapter II: "A Rookie’s Obsession, A Legend’s Indifference: Is Diana Taurasi ready for Victoria O’Hara?” | Diana Taurasi x OC
Warnings: fight fight fight!! And a tad bit narcissistic Diana
A/N: I’m having a shitload of fun writing this lmao, so here’s another chapter I hope you like. As always English is not my first language so if you find something wrong tell me so I can change it asap, I can’t wait for y’all to read this and the next chapters I’m so excited. Likes, comments (!!!) and reblogs are highly appreciated and my ask box is always open. Love Sof :))
Making headlines masterlist
There’s a funny thing about being the best in women’s sports. People either love you or wait for you to fall. But when you’ve been around long enough, it doesn’t matter what they think. You know your place. And you protect it.
That’s what I’ve been doing since my debut in the WNBA. Owning the court. Owning the pressure. Every game, every season, everyone expects the same thing from me: perfection. Winning is never enough because when your name is Diana Taurasi, nothing is ever enough.
Then, she showed up.
Victoria O’Hara. The rookie everyone wouldn’t shut up about. Reminded me of me, hungry, talented, a little too much attitude for her own good. The first time I saw her was just before our game against San Antonio. I’d heard her name, knew she had something. But there’s a difference between hype and reality.
May 19, 2017
Game day. I could feel her eyes on me during warm-ups, it was cute honestly, I could see the gears working hard on her mind, probably wondering what it’s like to be me, to dominate the way I have. They all wonder. But what she didn’t know yet is that being good in college doesn’t mean shit here. Welcome to the W, kid.
I didn’t give her a second glance. What was there to say? Another rookie trying to prove something. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been that girl. But this one, this woman, had something extra in her. I could see it the minute the game started. Every time she took a shot, it was like she was aiming at me, if I didn’t know she wanted to rip my throat out I’d say she was in love. Every drive, every step, was a challenge.
I could hear the yelling in the crowd, I’d hear her teammates tell her to relax, feel the energy shift. People loved watching us, golden veteran vs. golden rookie. A fucking classic. O’Hara wanted to make a statement. I could tell she was on the edge, burning herself out just to prove she belonged. And every time, I’d remind her, I’ve been there. I’ve fought harder battles. If she wanted to be the next big thing, she was going to have to earn it. She was good, but I wasn’t worried. I’ve dealt with players like her before. They rise fast, burn out faster. But this one... she kept pushing.
Every game we played after that, it was like she had a personal vendetta. I couldn’t walk on the court without feeling her eyes drilling into me. She was obsessed. It was funny, really. This kid was trying so hard to beat me, to make me see her.
I saw her. I always see them coming.
July 7, 2017
We were in San Antonio. Close game. O’Hara played her heart out, I’ll give her that. But we still won. After the game, I found her slumped on the bench, wiped out. I should’ve just left her there. But something in me couldn’t resist. The kid had fire. I respected that.
“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”
Her face said it all. She was rattled, but she had that spark. I liked seeing it. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was serious. I was. Kinda. Then, she shot back:
“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”
I almost laughed. Her confidence was impressive, misplaced, but impressive. I glanced down, smirked. Let her have that moment.
“Of course you are,” I said, walking off.
Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I never said that, lucky for everyone I did.
July 30, 2017
Maybe I overestimated how in control I am of everything; the game, the rookie, and my body.
We were playing again, tensions running high. It was bound to happen. O’Hara wanted her moment, wanted to prove herself. And me? I wasn’t giving her an inch. Then, somewhere in the third quarter, it happened.
I saw her coming, her eyes locked on me with a mix of defiance and determination. She made a quick drive, cutting to the basket with an intensity that almost made me respect her. But I wasn’t about to let a rookie get one over on me. I slammed into her, blocking her path with enough force to knock her off balance. She hit the floor hard, her elbows scraping against the court. The whistle blew, and for a moment, I watched her lay there, her frustration almost palpable.
“Get up,” I muttered, standing over her. “You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook”
I saw the anger in her eyes as she pushed herself up, pressing her chest on mine. Damn, was she this tall the whole time? The way she glared at me, it was almost as if she was daring me to push her further. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”
My smirk didn’t waver. I’d seen that fire in rookies before, puffed up, ready to prove themselves. “I don’t think, O’Hara. I know.” I said with the most arrogant tone I owned.
“Oh you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?” Before I could react further, she shoved me hard. Everyone erupted into chaos. I felt the rush of adrenaline as I moved to shove her back, but the moment I lunged, my teammates were already there, hands gripping my arms and holding me back.
O’Hara wasn’t any better off. Many of her teammates were swarming around her, trying to pull her away from me. I could see the frustration in her eyes as she struggled against their hold, her fists clenched and ready to throw.
Fun fact about fights: when you need the strength of 4 pro basketball players to hold you back, it makes you look really fucking dangerous.
We both tried to break through the human barriers restraining us. I could almost feel the impact of our fists connecting, the unfinished fight burning in my veins. But with every struggle, every strained push against the hands holding us back, the reality set in: we were not going to get to finish this here.
I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the cameras, the refs, or the impending technical. All I cared about was feeling that fire she was throwing at me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to face me, to try and break through the wall I’d built around myself.
Eventually, the refs managed to get us both under control, leading us to opposite sides of the court. As I was pulled away, I couldn’t help but glance back at O’Hara, her eyes still blazing with that same fire. Despite the chaos, a small part of me felt a twisted respect for her, a rookie who was not just willing to challenge me, but was ready to throw down if necessary.
The arena buzzed with excitement and disbelief as we were separated, but the fight between us was far from over.
That was the moment I knew this kid wasn’t going anywhere. And maybe, just maybe, I’d finally met someone who could keep up.
Little did I know.
Fucking Victoria.
"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"
"San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT"
Requests are Open!
Masterlist
#lesbian#fanfic#boowrites★#diana taurasi#wnba x reader#diana taurasi x reader#diana taurasi x you#phoenix mercury#las vegas aces#wbb x reader
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Acouasm
Acouasm (n.) a ringing noise in your head
Synopsis: When your relationship with Kim Taehyung goes public, a walk down the red carpet turns south when you are attacked.
Notes: I had so much to write in this fic but it ended up being sub par and I wanna release it on V’s birthday, so I’ll probably work on another one similar to this situation. I even had another draft but I thought it was too gorey and violent 🥲 Anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY V! Enjoy reading and thank you so much for liking my past oneshot Saudade.
Word Count: 11.9k
Your relationship with BTS’ Kim Taehyung had a long story.
You came from the same highschool and had been acquainted before, though you hadn’t interacted apart from a few glances in the halls. He was a few years older than you and Korean Arts High School was populated with soon to be popular faces, so you didn’t expect him to remember much about you. However, that didn’t stop you from having a massive crush on him as he seemed to be way different from his fellow BigHit trainee, Jimin.
Taehyung was more reserved and usually kept to a close knit of friends during school hours, though everyone seemed to know him and he knew everyone. He didn’t have any official relationships with anyone during highschool, yet it wasn’t like he was coined a loser. He was oh so much your type, though your crush on him didn’t last long after he graduated.
You knew he debuted in a boy group with his friend Jimin, and that was as far as you knew about his whereabouts. You didn’t have time to worry about him when you were already facing some difficulties in your own life at that time.
You were picked up by a more trustable agency in your third year of highschool. They were adamant on debuting a girl group and you were determined to be a part of that, so you trained harder than you have ever trained, worked harder than you’ve ever worked, and you finally got your pay off when you debuted three years after.
It was 2017 and your debut went smoothly. You weren’t an instant flop, though you weren’t an instant pop either. However, with enough work in producing three albums for your first year, you managed to come through and win the Mama 2017 Best New Artist Award.
Winning an award and enjoying your time performing songs and watching the other idol groups perform in the 2017 Mnet Asian Music Awards also meant that you would make a few new friends during the event. Your group had to switch seats often during the first half, so you had a lot of interactions with other groups. Coincidentally, landing seats right in front of a particularly cheery idol group for the rest of the night.
“Bangtan Sonyeondan! Congratulations!” The woman speaks onto the microphone as the group of boys behind you cheered and gathered into a group hug before they all started making their way out to the stage, and a specific pair of bright eyes catches yours as he passes by. Kim Taehyung.
You didn’t hold back a smile when you realized it was his group who had won a daesang. You clapped your hands even louder to congratulate him as he bows to you and your group and fixes his blonde hair that was held back by a cloth headband.
Later that night when a message from him surprised you. It turns out a director had forwarded your KakaoTalk to him after he asked, and he had made the time to message you despite the fact that they should be celebrating after their win by now.
A few messages at night had turned into friendly calls when no one was around. It was damn obvious that he was interested in you and you couldn’t say that your highschool crush on him had gone away after all these years. He was charming and he understood the struggles of being an idol.
When you and your bandmates would fight then he would drop anything to message or call you to listen to you vent. When he was having a particularly rough time with his schedules, he made sure that you would know and yet still made time to check up on you. Both of you would even be preparing for a comeback at the same time, and yet both of you supported each other through all of it. He was a rock you could lean on and you were an ear for him to rant to.
Soon after, you started hanging out with each other in your free time. It wasn’t a date or anything of the sorts. He just so happens to want to buy something when you would go on errands. He would joke that a popular idol like you shouldn’t be grocery shopping alone despite the fact that he was in fact more popular than you, though you never held jealousy over that fact. You were actually proud of him and his group after you learned of their earlier hardships, and you were even prouder when he would vent to you about their contract problems early 2018.
You two would try new coffee spots together and even watch the new Marvel movies together. Taehyung was certain that Doctor Strange was his favorite Marvel superhero because of his amazing cape, and didn’t hide that fact when he went on an interview in LA that asked him about it. You two even commented on each other’s interviews from time to time since you were both learning English and you two found it helpful to learn from each other.
And don’t start about how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during Mama 2018, not when you two were on a call the night before he got his hair colored and you sent him a picture of the brightest pink you could see on Google to dare him into changing his hair that same hue. It was a funny joke, yet he called you the night after with the same hue on his hair. You would watch the American movie Trolls together through the call that night and his nickname on KakaoTalk would be changed for the very first time to ‘Poppy Imposter’ alluding to the pink haired Troll in the movie.
After a year of steadily getting closer and calling each other friends, he finally confessed to you. You knew he liked you and he knew that you knew he liked you, yet it still seemed like your heart was palpitating out of your chest. He didn’t kiss you. He simply stated a fact and said that he wanted to court you, and God did you fall for him even harder.
When he asked you out on a first date, he also asked for your parents’ permission. He made sure to make it known that he was serious about you and you were sure that this man couldn’t do anything more to make you fall for him more.
He was such a romantic. He made sure everything was done how it should be. He made sure to pick you up for your date with a bouquet of flowers for you and your mother. He made sure to greet your parents by the front door. He assured your father that he would keep you safe and take you home by your curfew. Despite the fact that you were a full-grown adult and had your own apartment to go home to. He opened the door of his car for you and he pulled the chair of the fancy restaurant for you. He was a true gentleman, and it didn’t take more than five months for you to answer him.
Both your companies knew of your affairs. Taehyung wasn’t exactly quiet about you and you can’t say no to him when he would ask you to go on a late night walk with him whenever you were in the same city. Your companies would help payout any media networks that saw you two in your public dates, though that didn’t stop other idols from gossiping about your relationship. It was getting harder for them to contain you two especially when he went on longer promotion stints outside Korea, and your appearance near his apartment anytime BTS arrived in Korea didn’t go unnoticed. You were two lovers deeply in love, and it got worse during Mama 2019.
“You’re up in ten minutes ladies!” A stage director yells to the hallway over the chaos of staff around us. You and your group were about to enter the dark backstage to prepare for the penultimate performance of the evening, right before BTS.
You had seen your boyfriend and his group leave the artist area earlier, though it seemed like they weren’t going to the waiting rooms directly. You just hoped he could watch your performance on his phone. Despite already seeing each other’s performances during rehearsals.
“Wait! Don’t go up yet! The backstage is still not ready!” Another staff member yelled as an older member tried to make a move to get inside the backstage.
You sigh as the crowded and loud surroundings begin to make you nervous. You could feel sweat gathering on your forehead as a makeup artist tried to dry it down. How long were they going to announce the awards?
The makeup artist by your side leaves to fix up your other members and you take the opportunity to find something in the hallway to keep your attention on. The more you could distract yourself from the chaotic environment the better, so you looked down both sides of the hallway and watched props and staff pass by.
There in the busy and harshly lit hallway was your messy haired boyfriend with a bright red cardigan, that he specifically wore for you to notice him in the crowd of idols, push past the crowd to look for you. His bandmates seemed to get inside their own waiting room to prepare whilst Jimin and Jungkook waited by the door to watch him find his way to you. His overgrown and curled hair was doing nothing to help him find you, though once his eyes met yours at the end of the hallway, you could feel a smile creep onto your cheeks.
“Hey!” Taehyung greets as he walks a few more steps to stand in front of you. He brushes his hair aside and shows you his warm brown eyes, void of any colored contact lenses. His smile was bright as you notice sweat on his forehead.
“Good luck out there. You’re going to kill it, I swear.” Taehyung cheers as you smile at him and nod. He reaches to hold both your hands as you only realize that they were shaking when his gentle and steady ones encapsulates them.
“I should be the one calming you down. You have five songs to do!” You say with a chuckle as he chuckles with you and brings your hands to kiss its knuckles. His lips hover a little longer over your left ring finger, though you don’t notice.
“I perform five songs, but I’m not the popular worldstar that South Korea votes as number one on the most beautiful female artists.” Taehyung says with a shrug as a more boisterous laugh comes out of you.
“Okay, and you talk as if you aren’t internationally known for a handsome face.” You throw back as Taehyung rolls his eye and lets go of one of your hands to throw his hair out his face and show you one nasty pimple that had been growing on his forehead. He had actually been pulling back his dermatologist and facial appointment, so that he could do both of them with you. He wanted to keep your dates ‘unique’ he says.
“Don’t show that around here Tae! You’re going to get exposed!” You scolded as he laughed and shook his head to glance at the even more incriminating position you both were in. Closely standing next to each other with your hands held together and both your eyes shimmering with that profound love. If someone was to take a picture to expose you two then could they send it to him too because he wants to take this moment and make it his phone’s lock screen.
“Taehyung! You have to get ready!”
“Y/N! We can enter the backstage already!”
Both your bandmates say at the same time, though neither of your eyes fall to look away from each other.
“I love you. Be careful in performing and don’t be nervous. You’re amazing and always will be.” Taehyung says as his soft hands grab hold of your jaw to direct your lips to his. The kiss was soft and ended quickly, though the energy and ease it gave you was a pill that made you feel like you could do everything you put your mind to.
“I love you too. Be careful in your performance too. I know you’ll do great already. I might miss the first part of it though, since they won’t let us out immediately after.” You pouted as Taehyung chuckled and pecked a kiss on your forehead whilst rubbing your shoulder to assure you that he didn’t mind.
“I can’t even watch yours live. I have to watch it in the waiting room, but I’ll make sure to cheer for you just as much. We’ll watch the replay later on the TV anyways. My place and some good takeout?” Taehyung proposes as you were always welcome to a night at his place.
“We’ll see if you aren’t blackout drunk from the celebrations.” You chuckled as you were slowly inching away from your lover. You can hear your leader call out to you multiple times already and your manager was coming down the hall, so you really had to close this off.
Thankfully, Taehyung only laughed and let you go. He even waved to you as you disappeared backstage. He wasn’t going to get drunk tonight, perhaps tipsy, but he would much rather remember a night with you than drink. He wasn’t much of an alcohol fan anyways. A glass of wine with you seemed much more his taste.
And that was what ended up happening. The two of you sprawled out on his sofa at six in the morning. Takeout food littered the coffee table along with glasses of wine and a replay of your MMA performances.
After the event, the two of you parted ways to go to separate afterparties for a few hours before you both excused yourselves and got to Taehyung’s apartment. You two had laughed over some funny playbacks that you missed during the event, and you celebrated on your own two ways.
Taehyung had brought you out to his balcony when he saw the sun rising. He felt like a true winner as he watched you bury yourself in his hoodie under a thick blanket on his balcony’s couch. The silence engulfing you two as sleep ate away at your high. Events like the Mnet Asian Music Awards and Melon Music Awards always had your sleeping schedules messed up, though he didn’t mind. How could he mind when the award shows were the reason why he had seen your beauty in the first place.
He thinks that even if you weren’t there in MAMA 2017 then he would have still fallen in love with you some other way. He believes that in different dimensions he still finds a way to find you and love you. He always will, and there was no universe out there that Kim Taehyung existed without you.
“Hey… look at me.” Taehyung breaks the silence as you turn to face him. The sky was only beginning to get lighter, though you were both still enclosed in darkness and the warm lights he had around his balcony.
“I would have never thought that the sophomore I saw in the hallways during break would have me wrapped around their finger in five years time. I would have never thought that the all-rounder of the girl group who won best new artist in MAMA 2017 would have me asking multiple staff members for her number. But what I now know is that I love this sophomore and I love this all-rounder. I love you. I love you so much, and I know for a fact that there is no one else I could love this much. Kim Taehyung in other realities always falls in love with Y/L/N Y/N and I don’t need to be Doctor Strange to know that. So…” Taehyung pauses as he stands up and grabs a box from his sweatpant’s pocket.
You were staring at him in shock and awe as you processed his words whilst trying to process his movements. You two were too young to get married. He knew that and you two had jokingly discussed that, so what the hell was he doing?!
“I’m not proposing. Don’t worry.” Taehyung chuckles as he bends both his knees to crouch on the floor and presents you with a cream box. He opens it to reveal two gorgeous Bvlgari Couple Rings. Both were of the color silver, though one was littered with gems and the other was plain.
Taehyung places the box on the table in front of the couch as he takes the ring littered with gems and softly reaches for your hand just like earlier. He takes your left hand and kisses the knuckle right above your ring finger as he looks up at you with doe eyes. The sun’s rays appeared higher up the horizon now and its soft hues colored his face perfectly.
“I want you to take this promise ring because with this you hold the promise of my heart forever loving yours. All my beauty and imperfections. My tight schedule and long rants. My overly romantic and cringey actions and my eyes that look for you in every crowd.” Taehyung says and a stinging sensation catches up to your eye.
“It will also keep your finger warm until the time I propose to you and marry you, so… will you—“ Taehyung’s slight joking and following question was cut off by your voice cracking. He looked back up to you after eyeing your bare finger and you had tears in your eyes. His eyes immediately fogging as it copies yours.
“Yes. Yes, Tae.” You nod your head to help rid your eyes of tears as Taehyung slips the silver ring through your ring finger and a happy tear slides down his cheek.
“And you, Taehyung. I want you to keep this promise ring until the time I marry you because God knows I’ll save up for a really expensive ring.” You joke as Taehyung laughs boisterously. You reach out for his left hand and take the remaining silver ring.
“I love you so much, baby. I’ve always loved you.” You say as you slid the ring through his fingers and something in your heart locks with security. It was as if life was completed with a simple ring even if it was just a promise ring.
You two had tear stains on your cheeks from happiness and Taehyung immediately stood up, farring you along with him, and brought you in for a deep and passionate kiss on the lips. His lips soft against yours as it held so much love for one another.
When you two parted you simply rested each other’s foreheads against one another as the sun fully rose from slumber. The sun’s light encapsulates the two of you in its beauty and peace. If only someone could take a picture of this moment right now…
Everything changed after these leaks. Both your management team had reached the agreement to put some space between the two of you to avoid any more evidence that could support the strong claim of your relationship. This meant lesser visits to Taehyung’s compromised apartment and lesser events where your group and BTS could have any interactions.
You barely saw Taehyung now and it felt like you had been thrusted back in time to when you were both getting to know each other and only calling and texting each other at night. Back then it felt like the right amount of time to spend with him, but now it felt too little. You missed him and not being able to see each other for months even when you were both in the same city hurts. You felt so close, yet so far.
BTS had also started growing internationally and Taehyung was spending more time abroad. Especially with their Map of The Soul world tour. You had your world tour too, but you two always made the effort to see each other once a month at most. Now, you barely saw each other in three months.
You didn’t understand why they needed you two to be separated after the rumors. There were always rumors in the Kpop world and they had always managed to payout news outlets, so why this ridiculous rule now? It was making you more and more frustrated by each meeting that you asked them to stop.
It all came to a breaking point in late September 2020. It had been ten months and the BTS world tour had ended in September, yet Taehyung and you hadn’t even seen each other since the summer. You were sick and tired of it and your latest comeback failing to reach the charts had stressed you out immensely.
“You know the question I’m about to ask.” You said coldly as your management team didn’t spare you a glance. Your general meeting had ended and though the other members and staff were still in the same room you didn’t stop yourself from speaking your mind.
“And you know what the answer is to it always.” Your lead manager says as you close your eyes to stop any tears from falling down your cheeks.
You were exhausted. You were exhausted from not making it to the charts and feeling as though all your hard work had turned out to be a failure, and you knew that perhaps a small break to be with Taehyung could fix you up nicely. A cuddle and a kiss could boot you right up to start producing and writing songs again. His touch could ease all your sore muscles and his voice humming songs to you could free your ears from the annoying buzz in your ear. A buzz that you think came from the amount of time you spent sampling beats in the studio, and then listening to the same beats during dance practice. Your head was a mess and you could only hear music through a broken filter.
“It’s been ten months…” You say quietly, though the founder of the company abruptly stands up and slaps his hand on the table.
“We can’t risk it!” He sounded angry as his loud voice shushes everyone.
“All of you! We can’t risk it, and you better listen before I put all of you on a dating ban!” He threatens as collective anger boils between all of you girls. You knew that each and every one of you had committed relationships, so there was no way in any universe would you agree to a dating ban.
“What the hell?! You can’t do that so abruptly! What’s really going on? Why is everyone so tense?!” Your leader speaks up as all staff members quiet down and the room is filled with silence. The clock on the wall could be heard ticking and if you really listened in, you would hear your own patience decreasing with each click.
“We’re nearing bankruptcy, okay?! Your album flopped, we’re losing sponsors, and I can’t afford paying out the media for your issue, okay?!” Your boss snaps as he seems to be on the verge of breaking down.
All your group members were at the same amount of shock as you were, though every
“How much time do we have?” Your leader asks as your boss breathes in a heavy sigh.
“6 months at most. We’re reducing staff and we can push for one more studio album. If it doesn’t chart then we’re done. I’m sorry.”
You left the meeting that evening with tears in your eyes and your head feeling agitated. How could they keep this very important news from you and the girls?! This was your job and your future. You had the right to know what was internally happening. Now, all of you had to give your best for the new comeback or else you would be left jobless.
This fury of emotions in you was getting overwhelming and as soon as you arrived in your apartment you called Taehyung for some comfort. Perhaps you could even see each other tonight. A good takeout dinner and a few kisses and cuddles could fix you right up for the new comeback.
“Hey babe, I’m at a shoot right now.” Taehyung answers the phone as you nodded and mentally noted that he would probably be called to hang up on you at any moment.
“Hey…What time do you end?” You asked meekly before you cleared your throat and leaned on your kitchen counter with a glass of water on your other hand.
“Ten or eleven. Why?” Taehyung seemed to be moving on the other side as you sigh. Late dinner would be fine, as long as you were with him, right?
“I was wondering if we could have some dinner at either of our places. I’ve had a bad day and I miss you.” You say truthfully as you closed your eyes and hold the tears that want to push past your eyelids.
“I’m sorry to hear that baby, but I don’t think it would be good for us to see each other right now. Management—“
“Please Tae. I need you.” You interrupted him as a sob coursed through your throat. You felt pathetic for asking for your boyfriend’s attention when you knew how busy the industry is during this time of the year, but you just heard your dreams are in danger and you needed someone you could vent to.
“Baby… I think it would be better if we follow our mana—“
“God! Do you not want to see me?!” This unexpected rage filled you as you began to see red behind the tears that dripped down your cheeks. Your apartment felt too hot. The heat made you agitated. You wanted one thing and the world couldn’t even give you that.
“You know it’s not like that.” Taehyung’s small voice sounded hurt from behind the phone’s speaker, but it enraged you more knowing your hurt was hurting him. You couldn’t do one thing right, couldn’t you? No. How dare he act hurt when you doubt he even fights for you in their meetings. It was always you asking to see him and he would remind you of both your management team’s warnings.
“Really?! Because I’m starting to think that you don’t even want to see me anymore. We haven’t even seen each other since summer! God knows where you’ve been during your tours.” Your last statement was uncalled for. You knew that. Your anger shouldn’t start accusations especially when you know that the man on the other side of the phone was deeply in love with you, but rage makes you do unexplainable things.
You were angry at everything and everyone, and the words that spilled out of your mouth had no further value but the vile that it carries. Taehyung knew that, but he was in the middle of his fifth shoot of the week. He was trying to be as patient as he could be with you, but a nerve had been touched when you questioned his loyalty. How could you question his loyalty when he has done everything in his power to show you how much he was in love with you? He had asked countless times when he could see you, but rejection was always the answer of his managers.
He hated this year just as much as he hated himself for bringing you out to the balcony that night. Not because he regretted giving you his promise ring, but because he wasn’t thinking properly. He should’ve known that neighboring people could see him with you. He should’ve thought about it clearer. He shouldn’t have placed you in that vulnerable situation, and that idea manifested itself to why he was so willing to follow the rules of his managers. He didn’t want to put you in that place again. He didn’t want both your names to go under fire on Twitter again.
“I don’t want to fight with you right now.” Taehyung says dejectedly as the glass on your hand slips to land on the floor. The sound of the glass shattering on the floor and the water spilling on tiles reached Taehyung’s ears as a shock filled him.
“Baby?! What was that sound? Are you okay?” Taehyung sits up straighter from where he was seated in the waiting room with the rest of his band members. All their eyes went to him as he looked panicked whilst on his phone call.
“Yeah, just a glass of water. I’ll talk to you later, V.” Your voice was monotone and the usage of his stage name had caused a frown to rest on Taehyung’s face. It felt strange. It felt as though you were placing a barrier between you and him when you used his stage name. The same barrier an idol had with their fans, but your relationship wasn’t like that. You were the love of his life and the keeper of his promise. Getting called his stage name by you felt cold.
Taehyung turns his phone off after you hang up on him and he leans back on the sofa he sat on. Yoongi sat asleep on his right whilst Jungkook was nearing sleep on his left, though Jimin sat across the room on another sofa with his eyebrow furrowed as if asking the younger for what that was about. However, Jimin was beaten to ask Taehyung about his call as Namjoon pipes in from sitting beside Jimin.
“What was that about?” Namjoon asks as Taehyung sighs. He didn’t want to answer, but now five pairs of eyes were on him and the ears of their makeup artists were pressuring him to answer with something.
“You already know.” Taehyung says in a low voice, though his hyungs nod in understanding.
“I don’t get why you don’t just go see her. You know, I break Sejin’s rules all the time.” Jimin says as he earns a warning shove from Namjoon and a laugh from Hoseok. They all eventually break Sejin’s rules and Taehyung himself even broke his rules earlier into courting you, but he shouldn’t risk it now. Not when your names were out there and any signs that you were dating would be taken as the truth.
“We’ll help you sneak out later, Taehyung ah.” Jin offers as he flashes the younger a playful grin and a wink from his seat in front of the mirror surrounded by makeup artists.
“Sejin will pay you out of everything.”
“You have to be careful though. Our company could buy you out, but hers might not have the funds for it.” Hoseok pipes in as his sudden negative input has everyone turning to him with questioning looks.
“Don’t you guys look at their stocks? It’s been getting lower since last year. It might be the reason why you weren’t protected from the balcony incident.” Hoseok says as he flashes the boys his screen that is filled with stocks.
“No, the balcony incident was because the people who caught us immediately posted it without the help of media outlets. Our management can only protect us to an extent.” Taehyung now speaks as he shakes his head and massages his forehead. They all knew that. If fans capture them then it would pose a larger threat because they were willing to release any media without sending an email and deal to companies.
But what Taehyung did take note from what his hyung said was how your company’s stocks were lowering. You never told him that problem so he thinks it isn’t a major problem, though if his hyung knew about it then the changes must be drastic.
And they were drastic. After you hang up on Taehyung, you have turned your tears into a driving power to get working on some lyrics in your notebook. You didn’t even realize the amount of time that had passed as you spent it hunched over the coffee table writing away. The glass shards still littered the tiles of the kitchen and your mascara still darkened your eyes.
It was already one in the morning and Taehyung carefully got into your apartment building as both his hands held your favorite takeout paper bags with drinks. The boys had in fact helped him sneak out of the dorm that night, and it took him a few minutes and taxi rides to finally get everything he wanted to buy for the night.
He was going to apologize tonight. He was going to tell you the truth of everything on his mind and he would listen to everything you had to say. He wanted to make things right and it starts with giving you a kiss as soon as he enters the door.
The knock from your apartment’s door was the first sound you’d heard in the past few hours. It brought you to consciousness from your endless writing, and when you looked down to see your work everything was only an incomprehensible mess. Dried tear stains littered the pages and the callus on your finger grew thicker from friction.
You pushed yourself up from your spot on the carpet and walked carefully towards your front door. Another soft knock followed after some silence and you wanted to tell the person on the other side that you were coming, though your throat was raw from lack of usage.
“Hey baby.” Taehyung’s figure greets you as you open the door. His freshly trimmed dark hair covered his forehead as his mask was discarded under his chin. His figure was engulfed in a black jacket with its hood unused. A soft smile played on his lips, though it fell as soon as he saw your figure. The smile instead was replaced with a look of worry as you can only imagine what state you looked like.
“I��� I’m so sorry I didn’t come any sooner…” Taehyung immediately sets down the paper bags of food by the doorway before approaching you to engulf in a big warm hug. The hug that you had wished for earlier, and finally your emotions were put to ease.
The little droplets of rain left on his jacket and his steady heartbeat got rid of every pain and anger you had in your body and you finally let your eyes close as you hugged him back. His breath on top of your head slowly brings you back to the love and warmth you always knew would come to you.
“Tae, my— my company…”
You both had let everything out through dinner. In the early hours of the day, you both cried and laughed. You catched up with the happenings of each other's lives and you forgave each other.
“You know what would be great right now?” You spoke as Taehyung looked up to you from his place on your lap. His head rested on the valley of your thighs as his Hwarang drama played on the TV in your living room. His eyes bright and a soft smile permanently plastered to his lips.
“What?”
“A cone of ice cream.” You say as you watch his eyes brighten at the idea. So what if he just got his teeth cleaned and they were sensitive to cold food? If you wanted ice cream then he wants it too.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s get some ice cream!” He says as he sits up and turns off the TV.
“Tae, we can’t go out.” You remind him though the brow he raises and smug look on his face just makes a smile break your lips.
“I don’t care. No payouts, no worries. If they know then they’ll know. I’ll get my girl her ice cream!”
You giggle as Taehyung goes into your bedroom and comes out with a large black puffer jacket, a pair of warm socks, and a scarf. He ordered you to stand up as he wrapped the warm jacket over your figure and wrapped your neck up with a scarf. He pulls out a wet wipe to gently wipe your face with any dried tears or mascara before he pulls you towards the front door.
He doesn’t even let you crouch down to tie your own shoes or put your own socks on because he does it for you before he does his own. And soon you were already walking out your apartment building with his hand playing with yours.
You ended up grabbing a cone of your favorite ice cream from an ice cream place that was open 24/7. It was roughly a fifteen minute walk from your place and when he sensed your pace slowing, he took a detour and took you to a riverside road that had benches looking out onto the river.
Light bulbs tied into strings hung from trees and the gentle flow of the river made the place serene. You two sat on a bench and ate your ice cream by the river as silence engulfed you two. A comforting peace hugging you tightly as time seemed nonexistent when you were with him. You leaned your head on his shoulder and basked in the moment. A buzz of restlessness ringing in your ear, though it didn’t matter whenever he was near.
If someone took a picture of you now then you wouldn’t care anymore. As long as you were with him then you would be fine.
Everyone was convinced that the two of you were dating and ever since then you were a bit more shameless to post pictures on your instagram with a few too many similarities to deny that you two weren’t in the same place at the same time.
With the news of your unconfirmed relationship reaching new lengths with more leaked content, you two became somewhat old news. Everyone knew there was something undeniable between you two, though nothing had been confirmed. Your two companies stayed out of it after their first statement that only clarified that both of you weren’t engaged, though it also said that your companies had no rights in your personal engagements.
A month after, your latest comeback had been released and it was a massive pop. It had landed the charts and stayed on the Top 5 even with rising competition and BTS’s unstoppable Dynamite single. And Maybe, just maybe, it could save your company’s decline.
The end of November was the season of awardings and your latest comeback just manages to squeeze into the eligibility period of the criteria. Which meant your hit comeback had actually landed you multiple nominations, and perhaps your first ever Daesang? If that was possible against BTS’s unstoppable year.
It felt as though your struggles through the year were getting set to rest, and whatever happens now was up to the world’s hands.
Arriving in the 2020 Mnet Asian Music Awards felt like a reward. You could finally relax and enjoy the event of your year’s work. In these events you would always remember how it changed your life by letting you and Taehyung meet gazes. How it made you meet your closest friends and interact with fans from different fandoms. It was a celebration whether you left as a winner or not.
Taehyung took his first step out to walk the red carpet as cameras flash all around him. The crowd of fans behind the media outlets raised their phone cameras as cheers roared. His bandmates smiled and waved as they took a spot right in front of the banner backdrop.
They were missing Yoongi that night. The rapper was absent to recover from his long due shoulder surgery that he got in an accident years ago. This small change in their usual order had all the staff and management team on edge. They already had to relearn their choreography and positions for the performance tonight, and the staff were busy all week to find ways on how they would spend Yoongi’s rap parts of the song without him, so it was an understatement to say that everyone was a little tired and on edge for tonight.
The six remaining members all arranged themselves into their familiar order, with Taehyung leading the line and leaving a space for Yoongi before Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin, and Hoseok followed in order.
They all stopped at the first spot where semi-popular outlets took pictures of them and their different colored suits. They all had a mix of muted navy, white, and some accents of maroon, a color scheme that stood out from the classic black suit. Taehyung wore navy trousers and a matching suit jacket whilst his undershirt was a satin white. His suit jacket was buttoned up to his chest and had a maroon colored handkerchief in its pocket.
After a few seconds, a director had signed for Taehyung to continue walking along the carpet as the boy group Seventeen, that was ahead of them in the queue, moved towards the part of the carpet where the event hosts would interview them.
Taehyung glanced behind him to make sure his bandmates were following him as he moved further up the queue. They stopped once again with their line still intact and they posed for the more known media outlets.
At the same time, their junior’s Tomorrow X Together arrived and followed them in the queue by taking their previous spot. Their hoobaes dressed in fitting black suits as they arranged themselves in a line and posed for the cameras. The crowd also cheered for them, before they reverted their attention to the short interview held on the members of Seventeen.
Another cue of a director made Taehyung turn to watch the Seventeen walk inside the building. He waited patiently for all members to enter before he followed to occupy the spot they had left. The host, Song Joong Ki, greeted the members as Taehyung was handed two microphones that he passed to his bandmates. He would let his hyung’s take care of the interview answers, though he still smiled to the cameras that flashed and broadcasted the carpet.
“Welcome! Bangtan Sonyeondan!” Song Joong Ki announces as classic questions fall from his lips, though he has lost all of Taehyung’s attention when he saw you enter to lead your group on the queue of the carpet.
Your body clad in a white angelic like satin material dress. It had thick bows as spaghetti straps on your shoulders, though it kept the skin of your collarbone and shoulders exposed. It hugged your torso tightly almost like a corset before it loosened below your waists and made you seem like a doll. Hemline details on your skirt had separated the silky fabric of the bodice and majority of the skirt to the more flowy and scrunched material that gave your dress an airy aura. Your white heels polished to shine as bright as the cameras, and your angel-like makeup made Taehyung feel like he was actually seeing an angel.
He didn’t care if people saw how his mouth stood agape and how his gaze stayed on you for a moment too long. It was the only appropriate reaction to your outfit. Your bandmates also had varying white dresses on, yet you seemed like the star of the show. A true beauty that he was blessed to witness in his lifetime.
“Taehyung ah, stop staring at your girlfriend and move.” Jin had whispered to Taehyung. The space for Yoongi in between them had disappeared as Taehyung snapped his gaze back to his hyung. He could see you posing for pictures on his peripheral vision, though the slight nudge of Jin pushing him along to enter the venue was enough for him to stop watching you.
He could even see Jimin flashing him a smirk as it was quite obvious who had stolen all his attention. Taehyung was shameless as he only smiled and calmly walked towards the small steps leading to the venue.
He wondered how he would celebrate tonight. The Mnet Asian Music Awards always have been an indicator to him that it had been another year since he met the most beautiful angel on Earth. He would always replay the moment he caught your eyes when he received an award, and sometimes, if he was lucky, your eyes would meet and he falls for you deeper than he had the first time you met. Gosh, he hoped one of the cameras had gotten a good picture of you because he can’t wait to make it his homesc—
Bang.
And screaming was all he heard as his head snapped to find out what the commotion was about. Everyone’s handheld cameras had turned to the start of the queue, and the cameras that were on fixed stands to face the carpet in front were left unattended by the camera directors. All their eyes widening at a sight that Taehyung couldn’t see.
Security guards that stood near the venue entrance had run past Taehyung to get to the commotion, though Taehyung couldn’t see through a combination of his hyung’s heads and the bodies of managers and staff that filled the red carpet.
Taehyung was more curious than worried about the commotion. All he knew was that the commotion had taken place at the start of the queue where he stood just a few moments ago. Taehyung watched as all his members tried to raise their necks to see past the crowd.
Namjoon had tapped a staff member to ask what happened, and Taehyung would have intently eavesdropped the conversation if not for the face Jimin had flashed Taehyung as he turned with a worried look. It was a look that knew something.
How did Jimin see through the crowd? They didn’t know.
“What is it?” Taehyung asked as Jimin stopped stretching his neck and stared at him with wide eyes whilst licking his lips as if he was finding the right words to describe the situation he saw.
But Taehyung didn’t need to hear it from him as Jin soon found a gap to see what happened, and the loud ‘woah’ that involuntarily left his throat was enough for all members present to look at him.
However, just like Jimin did after seeing the commotion, their eldest member flashed Taehyung worried eyes before grabbing Taehyung’s wrist as if he could bolt at any moment. These glances and actions were starting to worry Taehyung now. He would understand if the members who saw something happened wouldn’t want the other members to know, but why did it look as if they didn’t want him specifically to know or react.
“What?” Taehyung’s Daegu accent came out as he was getting worried at what was happening.
Then a few gasps came from the crowd that watched and Taehyung finally found a gap to see someone on top of another person at the start of the queue. Right where your group was standing mere seconds ago.
Taehyung tugged at Jin’s grip as he finally saw someone pull the erratically moving person off the floor and the person she had pinned to the floor.
Who was getting attacked? Taehyung didn’t know yet, but something in his stomach told him that his hyungs knew.
The crazy woman was pulled off the floor by a security guard. Taehyung's gaze went from the woman fighting the guard to one of the barriers that separated the general crowd of fans from the photographers, carpet, and artists. The barrier was on the floor as other fans didn’t dare cross it, though he had figured that the loud bang was from the barrier falling to the floor.
Taehyung then let his gaze wander to whoever the woman had pinned to the floor and lo and behold… it was you.
Seeing your messy hair and disoriented figure had blood surging through Taehyung’s body. A different type of adrenaline flowed through him unlike the ones he experiences at concerts. No, this one made him want to fight and flight at the same time.
Taehyung easily pulled away from Jin’s grip as he walked past Jimin before he could block his way. The call of his name from Hoseok and Jungkook fell on deaf ears as he continued his fast strides towards you. His eyes fixed on your figure before it was lost behind a crowd of people.
Taehyung pushed past TXT with little to no problems. He simply murmured an apology and an ‘excuse me’ as he passed through.
A ring of people had circled where you were supposed to be as Taehyung pushed past people in his goal to reach you. It felt as though his body was walking through quicksand at how he had to forcibly get his body past the crowd.
He can feel his suit get wrinkled and his shoes get stepped on. His hair must be ruffled by now and perhaps one of his prop rings had already slipped past a finger, but it didn’t matter. As long as the silver band he had as your promise was fine and he gets to you in the least amount of time then anything else could be replaceable.
With one more push he finally got to the middle of the crowd. The air felt less dense, though Taehyung couldn’t get a proper breath in until he could see that you were okay.
It didn’t take long for your eyes to meet each other though. Your wide blown out eyes reach peace as your eyes meet his, and he would be lying if your eyes didn’t give him just a small bit of ease running through his body.
He immediately took a step towards you as a few gasps were heard followed by a louder bang rang and silenced his surroundings. A disorienting buzz ran through his ears as he turned towards the woman to see her get tackled to the floor by multiple security guards and a gun slipping past her grip.
The bang wasn’t another barrier falling…
She shot a bullet
And he didn’t know where it landed.
Taehyung reached for you to engulf with his body and shield you from the direction the woman was. You immediately collapsed into his grip as you brought your hands to cover your face and bury yourself in Taehyung’s suit.
“Baby, are you okay? Are you hurt? D—did you…” Taehyung couldn’t finish what he wanted to ask you as he opted to skim your body for any obvious injuries.
He wasn't going to admit it but he was looking for a bullet wound under the fabric of your dress, though all he saw was the ruffled satin material as you cried onto his chest. His grip on you tightened as he turned his head back to see proper police men restrain the woman in handcuffs.
“You’re okay now. You’re fine. You’re safe, baby. She’s gone.” Taehyung repeats his words over your hair. A kiss landing on your messy hair. His whispers of comfort placed ease into both your bodies, though you could still hear his heart pumping heavily.
“Tae…” You were breathless as tears uncontrollably dripped down your cheeks. You were just thankful that Taehyung was blocking you from the media. Now that the woman was gone, the media was bound to get an aftermath photo of you so you were just glad they couldn’t see you in the middle of a breakdown.
“Yes baby? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?” Taehyung asked as he rubbed a hand on the top of your hair to soothe down some loose strands, though the action was more to comfort you than fix up your appearance. He was well aware of the cameras and whispers around you.
“Are— are you hurt? The g-gun…” Your voice shakes as you wipe your tears and look up at him.
The sounds of cameras flashing, managers and staff speaking loudly, and police, was the loud buzzing of your ear. It started right as you were tackled to the ground with a twist of your ankle and your head hitting the not so soft red carpet. It still heavily buzzes in your ear over any other noise, excluding Taehyung’s calming voice which you can hear just as clear as the vibrations of your heart pumping.
“No. No, I’m not hurt, baby. Please answer me now. Are you okay?” Taehyung repeats himself whilst placing emphasis on the word ‘you’. He brings a gentle hand to wipe tears sliding down your cheek as you take in the condition of your body.
“My— my ankle… I think I twisted it when I fell, but I think I’m fine.” You say as the adrenaline wears off and an uncomfortable sting comes to your left ankle. You still stood on your heels effortlessly, though a growing tingle had started to spread from where the heel’s strap held onto your ankle.
“Okay. Thank you for answering.” Taehyung kisses your lips swiftly before he raises a hand to call for attention, and looks towards the direction of the venue. Paramedics and staff that were on standby were already walking down the carpet as your eyes even catch Jimin’s worried eyes skimming over both you and Taehyung. The medics were by your side in no time as the crowd around you disperse.
“She said that she might’ve twisted her ankle.” Taehyung says to the paramedics who nodded, though they didn’t signal him to let go just yet.
“Let’s go to the back to check for further injuries. The media is out of control.” A manager suggested to the paramedics who agreed.
“Can you walk?” Taehyung asks as you merely nodded before you were led to a private space behind the wall of the red carpet. Taehyung continued to support you as you took heavy steps in your heels.
The small space behind the backdrop wasn’t too spacious though it was enough to shield you as the paramedics opened a kit and let you sit down on a small plastic stool. Taehyung stood right beside you. Your fingers intertwine as your fingers meet the cold material of his promise ring, and that’s when it hits you.
“Sh-shit.” Your once dried cheeks had now turned wet again as you looked down to your hand and found all your fingers were bare from any jewelry.
“Shh… You’re fine, baby. You’re getting treated.” Taehyung rubs your head to help soothe you though your sobs start to grow as the paramedics ask you what’s wrong, though you only shook your head to dismiss them.
“Tae… I lost the— the ring. It— It must have fell when I—���
“It’s fine, baby. I can buy you a new one.” Taehyung reassures you, though you were inconsolable.
“Please, say something if this hurts Miss.” The medic speaks as she caresses the skin of your ankle. A yelp leaving your lips as the medics nodded and continued to assess your shin.
From the way your chest heaved with each sob and the way tears fell from your eyes, the medics couldn’t assess you properly though they made the best of the situation and made the decision to take you to the hospital.
“Taehyung, you need to get into the venue. The event is going to be delayed, but groups need to be inside the venue for security checks and safety.” His manager speaks as his head pops from the other side of the backdrop. A wheelchair strolling behind him as the medics explain to you that they were taking you to the hospital.
“What? I can’t leave her right now. Did you see what happened?!” Taehyung didn’t mean to raise his voice, though he couldn’t leave you right now. Perhaps you were physically okay, but that must have been mentally shocking and he wants to be there just to comfort you even if it doesn’t make a big difference.
“Yes, I did see. Everyone saw. And we don't know if there’s another sasaeng out there, so we need you to get in the venue now.” The manager said sternly, though Taehyung continued to ignore the orders.
He instead opted to help guide you to sit comfortably on the wheelchair. His finger grazing over red scratch marks on the skin of your forearm. He hadn’t seen those earlier, though he doubts the paramedics had missed it.
When they exited from behind the backdrop they were met with security guards escorting them to the road where the ambulance was parked. Taehyung walked alongside the wheelchair as the paramedic wheeled you to the ambulance. His manager followed a few paces behind.
You writhed with shame as you thought about all the news that could be written on this night alone and you hadn’t even entered the venue yet. You weren’t sure you could.
Taehyung was held back by his manager before he could enter the ambulance with you. His gaze in question and slight irritation as he was met by the face of their manager once more, though this time his members were walking out the venue in search of him.
“Kim Taehyung don’t go. For her sake. You can see her after, but right now we need you inside for the media's sake.” Their manager says more desperate now as he turns to meet your eyes that were inside the ambulance.
He was all too aware of the eyes watching both of you and he could tell that you were too. You gave him a slight nod as a sign that you’d be fine as he nodded more to himself and took a step back to be with his manager. For your sake, he wasn’t going to be with you right now. Not when the media would be having a frenzy already. For you, your company, and your reputation.
“Come on, get inside.” The manager nudged Taehyung to follow behind him as he kept his gaze down on the floor when a few cameras took pictures of him walking to the entrance.
A shiny piece of jewelry caught his attention as he bent down and found the promise ring he had given you last year. A promise ring that had caused you more tears than he wanted you to have.
“Come on, V.” Jimin says as he reaches out for Taehyung to accompany him in walking to the venue behind the rest of the members that flashed him pitiful looks.
“You did the right thing. She needed you, and you’ll see each other after this.” Jimin reassured, as Taehyung’s eyes began to sting from behind, though he tried to stop the emotions from showing in his eyes.
“They said it was a sasaeng?” Taehyung asked as the security guards opened the door for them and they entered the dark and cold doors of the big venue that the 21st Mnet Asian Music Awards would take place in.
“Apparently. I tried my best to eavesdrop and they said that the motive might’ve been because of your relationship. She was ARMY.” Jimin summarized everything he had heard as they both stopped in a dim hallway to wait for staff to open a door that led to the artist area.
“I still don’t get how she managed to walk past security, staff, and camera directors. How did she even have a gun?!” Taehyung was exasperated as the two ‘95 liners leaned against the padded walls. Taehyung leaned his head on Jimin’s shoulder as Jungkook came up to squeeze his shoulder.
“Is she okay? We heard guns were involved.” Jungkook asked as it was obvious that the rest of his bandmates were listening from behind the maknae.
“Yeah. She’s shaken up. Maybe even have a twisted ankle and a few scratches.” Taehyung says as his eyes zone out on the pattern of the carpet and his fingers play on the ring he held on his finger.
“Are you okay?” Namjoon shows himself from behind Jungkook as Taehyung simply nods.
The night had gone by like a blur. It was obvious to everyone watching that he was not as present as he should have been, though nobody blames him. The views of the event had skyrocketed after news broke out that an artist was attacked and yet the event continued on. Hashtags about the event and incident even went viral prior to the awards finishing because clips of Taehyung running towards you and escorting you to the ambulance had gone viral. It practically happened in front of everybody so it was bound to get posted, and technically no blood or gore had been shown so the content wasn’t blocked as quickly as both your companies and the event organizers wanted them to be.
Taehyung walks through the hospital hallways with paper bags of your favorite takeout food, your favorite drink, some spare clothes of his that you could change to in case your personal assistant didn’t bring good comfy clothes, and a small cake of your favorite flavor. He had made do with how late it was and how your favorite bakery was already closed.
It felt like deja vu once again. However, this time he wasn’t riding the elevator to your apartment but rather riding it to your hospital room.
Your absence from the event was so painstakingly obvious for him and everyone. He was jittery all night, and your group seemed so small when they occupied the stage for their performance. It was obvious that they had done last minute blocking, and the bactrack had been used for your solo parts. They seemed so small when they walked down the artist area and got to the stage to receive the Best Female Group award and the Best Female Group Dance Performance award. Your group wasn’t small in the sense that they had little members, though it felt like something was missing. Your big bubbly smile and your funny yet carefully worded speech was missing, and Taehyung could speak for everyone that your presence was greatly missed.
He had received a text from you as soon as the event ended and when he got his phone back. Your text contained your congratulations for him and his wins and performances. Jimin even showed Taehyung a message you sent that congratulated Jimin and the rest of BTS. It was certainly a good year for them, and you had grown closer towards your boyfriend’s close friend despite only interacting a few times.
You told him that he should probably visit later into the evening since your group would be visiting you after the event, though Taehyung didn’t listen and still went as fast as he could when ordering food.
He arrived at your hospital room at almost two in the morning and from what he could hear, your bandmates were still in your hospital room talking to you.
He knocked on the door and heard the girls quiet down as one of the members opened the door to see Taehyung standing in the middle of the hallway with his PA behind him holding the bag of clothes and box of cake.
“Hey, sorry to intrude on your celebrations but can I come see my girlfriend?” Taehyung says as a smile couldn’t help but creep up his face as his heart swells with pride with how he openly says that you were his girlfriend.
“Yah Y/Nah, your boyfriend is here.” The member smiled brightly as she opened the door wider to show you laying in the hospital bed with wide eyes from Taehyung’s early arrival. Your other bandmates had visibly smiled brighter when Taehyung entered the room.
“Good evening.” Taehyung greets as he places all of the paper bags on a nearby table and bows deeply to your bandmates.
“Congratulations on your wins and performance!”
All of your bandmates greet the same words as they bow just as deep to their sunbaenim.
“You should have told us Kim Taehyung sunbaenim was coming. We should’ve ordered more food for him—“ You leader speaks as you stay silent yet a small smiles lingers on your lips when Taehyung doesn’t let his eyes leave you.
“It’s okay. I brought some takeout to eat, and a cake to celebrate your wins.” Taehyung opens the small cake he had brought as his PA takes his leave and walks out the door.
“Oh V sunbaenim, thank you! We already had some cake, but I’m sure Y/N would love that. She barely ate anything tonight.” One of your members discloses as you send her a warning gaze as her face contorts into a look of apology.
Taehyung’s brown doe eyes met yours once more and this time it held the same worry it had earlier in the evening. You hated that. You hated seeing him worried over you, though at the same time it made you feel so cared for.
“We should probably get going. We need some rest and we can celebrate properly when you’re feeling better Y/N.” Your group’s leader says as they all excused themselves after they bid you well and congratulated Taehyung once more.
You were left in the silence of your hospital room with Taehyung at last. It felt like a decade just to get some time alone ever since the incident, and it felt like a reward to finally be alone together after the stressful night.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Taehyung asks as he comes towards the side of the bed to give you a kiss on your cheek.
“Not in the mood for it.” You say honestly because you really didn’t feel hungry, though Taehyung’s brow raised to doubt your answer.
“Come on, don’t let me eat all of this alone.” He says as your favorite food reaches your nose. The aroma turns the wheel of your appetite as Taehyung moves the table closer to the side of your bed.
“Seriously, Tae…”
“Please baby? Let me food you a few spoonfuls at least? It would help me feel better.” Taehyung asks as you nod willingly.
He opens up a container and grabs a wooden spoon to fill with the right amount of everything before guiding the spoon to your open mouth. The warmth of the food immediately landing in your stomach as a satisfied hum left you. Taehyung smiled at that and took his own bite with a smile.
“How’s your ankle?” He asks.
“It’s twisted, but it should heal well. I’ll be walking around with a brace, but it's not like we have a comeback coming.” You say as you move your leg from under the white blanket and show him the brace that keeps your ankle straight.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be here though. They said that I’m showing symptoms of an acute concussion, so it would be better to keep me under observation. That’s why I’m not really eating food right now. I don’t want to throw it up in case this does happen to be a concussion. ” You shrug as you eye the movie that showed on the TV.
Taehyung took your left hand in his and raised it to meet his lips. His breath grazing over your ring finger as you feel him slide a familiar metal back to its place.
“What— Woah! You found it!” You smile as you check the ring to truly see if it was the same ring he had given you a year ago. The same small dent that you had accidentally struck against the wall had grazed the design and you knew for a fact that it was the same ring you had worn as a promise.
“It’s kinda hard to miss. No wonder everyone saw it when we wore it.” Taehyung chuckles as he kisses your hand again before you pull him closer to you to kiss on the lips.
His usually soft lips still had some remnants of lipstick from the makeup of their performance. However, the surface wasn’t the soft flesh you’ve come to be familiar with. It was bitten and cracked in some places. Some skin was freshly peeled and others were dry and waiting for the time to be peeled. It was a sign that he had bitten them off prematurely as a coping mechanism from anxiety.
“I’m sorry, baby. I— I heard the fan was a sasaeng and I didn’t even try that hard to join you in the ambulance, but I— I didn’t want the media following and— and our companies… It’s not an excuse—“
“Tae, it’s not your fault.” You state sternly with your expression straight. You didn’t know where this reaction was coming from, but you had to shut down all those thoughts.
“She was a sasaeng— an ARMY…” Taehyung was teary eyed as he sat on the side of the bed with his hands wrapped around your waist as your arms rested on his shoulders.
“You can’t control them and you can’t control what our agencies tell us to do. Just like how they told us to keep some distance when we told them about our relationship. We can break what they say sometimes, but eventually we know we have to follow them. Like how we still kept on seeing each other and how you still had to join the event.” You explained as he nodded.
He was tongue tied or perhaps he didn’t have anything more to say. He just wanted to hold you and tell himself he did everything he could to prevent what happened and that at the end of the day you are fine with injuries that could be fixed. He wanted to kiss you and feel your skin against his. He wanted to breathe in your scent and feel your chest move with every inhale and exhale.
So he did just that. He laid beside you and brought your body down with him to embrace. Your skin against his as you both settle in a comfortable position.
“What if we weren’t idols?”
“Don’t say that Tae. We met because we were idols. We met because we wanted to study being idols and you saw me because you are a damn good idol.” You say as Taehyung laughs and kisses your cheeks.
“I know, but like what if we went away for a while. Just the two of us and some place we don’t know.” Taehyung proposes as you tilt your head to think over the idea as you signal him to continue his brewing thought.
“Just for a few days or a week. We deserve it after a long year. Besides, it’s my birthday soon.” Taehyung smiles brighter when he mentions his birthday as if you hadn’t been saving up for his birthday gift already.
“That does sound nice…”
“So it’s settled! New Year’s and my birthday in some place we don’t know! I’ll start planning it tomorrow.” Taehyung smiles as you laugh with him, but really he was planning on replacing your dented ring with a new one.
“Also I brought some clothes. I was wondering if I could sleep here tonight.” Taehyung asks as you smile and land a kiss on his lips.
“I was waiting for you to say that. My parents are visiting early in the morning though, so you better be up by then.” You both chuckle as he kisses you once more.
“Are you comfy in your clothes? I have your favorite sweater in the bag, and a coat in case you ever feel like having ice cream again.”
You chuckle as you slightly nudge his shoulder. This man truly was something else.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY V!
And
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
#bts#bangtan#bts fanfic#kim taehyung#bts x reader#bts angst#bts fluff#bts oneshot#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung birthday!!!!#birthday boy!!!!#kpop#bts v#bts v oneshot
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Do you love Team Fortress 2 and hate Valve's years of neglecting the bot issue?
Then please sign the petition at save.tf and help spread the word about the #FixTF2 movement! More information can be found in the read more, but the tl;dr is that Valve has been neglecting Team Fortress 2's bot issue for far too long, and on June 3rd its encouraged to share your screenshots and video of cheater bots in action with the hashtags #FixTF2 and #SaveTF2
Despite this game still having a loyal and active community of fans most companies could only dream of in spite of the game itself having no major content updates since 2017, people have been feed up with the fact that Valve has done next to nothing to deal with the waves of cheater bots that have not made the game both harder to play normally (especially outside of peak playing hours) but have actively made the game toxic and even outright dangerous for players looking to have fun. In the words of this site and petition's creators:
"The bot hosters are malicious actors, using their aimbots as a vessel to endlessly attack and harass community members. They abuse the in-game text and voice chats to spread the most vile hate speech imaginable, while simultaneously advertising their “bot immunity services” in an attempt to scam the players desperately looking for a solution. They’ve used these same means to dox people’s personal information and broadcast it to the player-base against their will. Bot hosters have even gone so far as to commit actual crimes, such as using AI voice-modifiers to impersonate and slander non-consenting parties, launching persistent DDoS attacks, and have even swatted one of their most ardent critics."
Despite being over 17 years old, having a very active fanbase, and still having new seasonal cosmetics being released regularly for real money, Valve has horribly neglected this game and left in a state where its practically overrun nefarious actors exploiting the game for personal gain. Most fans don't even care about releasing a new update as big as the last one (2017's Jungle Inferno update) at this point, we just want Valve to fix the bot crisis.
On June 3rd, its heavily encouraged by the leaders of this consumer movement to post videos, screenshots, and personal accounts of players' encounters with these bots in an effort to get #FixTF2 trending and put a spotlight on Valve's neglect of the game despite continuing to profit from it. The petition itself will be sent to Valve, and all you need to do is add your email and name, and click on the confirmation email. Their site is currently getting a lot more traffic than expected, so you may need to wait over 10 minutes to receive the confirmation email and officially add your signature.
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BEST OF INTERVIEWS: KATARINA LOMBARDI (MERCEDES AMG)
LICENSE TO DRIVE ; f1 driver!oc x platonic! f1 grid
. . . best interview moments with katarina during her time in mercedes amg (2017-2020)
amgf i said i'm not writing but really i just miss her, every single day she's on my head actually, the amount of hcs i have in my notes about miss katarina... crazy
"What is your go to activity if you're sad?" Katarina reads the question from a random pile of papers before setting them aside at the edge of the table.
"I watch Kimi winning the 2007 championship in Brazil. To me, that was an important highlight. I was ten at the time, I felt represented as a Finnish-Italian, Kimi winning Ferrari... Good times."
"In an interview you said that you started karting when you were three." The reporter asks, as you nod your head in reply.
"Did that make your journey easier or harder as a driver?"
Katarina thinks for a moment before speaking to the microphone, "It definitely had some advantages, the journey wasn't the easiest to be here, as a female there were some hurdles that I had to wait and make space for myself. But there were definitely privileges that I was aware of, one being that I lived in Europe and there are a lot of tracks to practice, not only that but my mother also taught me a lot as a former racing driver. These can happen hand in hand, so when people discredit my achievements as a woman in motorsports by countering that I am privileged, I am aware of that. Racing is a privilege, and to see how far I've made as a woman makes me even proud of my achievements. It wasn't the easiest, but it's rewarding."
"What are the three things Katarina Lombardi can't live without?" Lewis asks, reading the question on a cut piece of paper inside the bowl.
The female tilts her head, "Maybe food? What? I could just answer things like water, food, air, or do you want personal things?"
Lewis cackles at the side, clutching his belly, "Okay, I think this is to get to know you more so maybe apart from the obvious I mean... what else? I also can't live without these three so I think they meant a personal item."
Katarina laughs, thinking once more, "My notebook, I have a journal— well multiple journals so those I would want to keep with me. Maybe my cross necklace as well, we have to remove jewelry when racing so sadly I remove it but instead of looking for my watch I want the necklace back on after races. Last would be my manager's cell phone number."
"What? That's so random." Lewis exclaims, laughing once more at her outlier response.
Katarina shakes her head, "No you don't get it. I haven't got my phone number memorized, but my manager's, I know it at the back of my head. If I'm in trouble or someone wants to ask me something I give them my manager's number, easy. Not their personal number of course, the work one but yeah, it saved me a couple of times... A lot of times actually..."
"How well does Katarina Lombardi, know about Lewis Hamilton?" Lewis reads the cue cards in front of his hands, filming another video for Mercedes.
"Not that well I'm telling you." The female whispers under her breath while playing with her own cards.
"That's not even the question yet!" Lewis steals a glance with raised brows appalled by his teammates response. "Not that well? I'm offended."
Katarina bursts into laughter, "Wait that wasn't the question? Shut up!"
Lewis stares blankly into the camera, pulling the cards closer to him, shaking his head in disappointment. "Wow... I thought we had something— I thought we were friends, and you pull this."
Katarina shakes her head in denial, "No wait! Let me explain, I thought that was the question. What are we filming today?"
"It's a quiz, look here it reads, "How well does Katarina Lombardi know about Lewis Hamilton" that's the video about."
"I thought the video was about something else, I swear believe me." Katarina shakes Lewis' arms as the older man turns away from her.
"Now you're just saying whatever you want." Katarina is left laughing, trying to console Lewis sulking at the other side of the couch.
"What do you think of the 2019 season?"
Katarina scrunched her nose, "Worst season ever."
Her reply caught other drivers off guard, Max, Sebastian, and even her own teammate Lewis turned around in confusion. Katarina shrugs, "I mean, Kimi is not in Ferrari so it's shit."
Her reply caused other reporters and journalists to laugh, "What's so funny?"
Max shakes his head, pulling the microphone to him, "You caught us there, I thought you've gone crazy, you have five, six wins and constantly on the podiums. When you said the season was the worst I was about to argue."
"I thought it had something to do with me, please, watch your words. Almost gave me a heart attack because what was so bad about the season?" Lewis adds laughing along with the others.
"Well I'm sorry, I can score points and still be sad, without Kimi who else will represent me? We all know I'll never drive for that silly horse."
The drivers turn around to face Sebastian, lips pressed in a thin line, forcing himself not to laugh, "I'm contractually not allowed to say anything but I think everyone in the grid knows that."
"What are your prospects for the upcoming season?"
Katarina grabs the microphone, thinking about giving a PR answer or one of her own, "Well, I don't have a seat for the 2021 season but I'm always available and talking to teams so, I guess we'll figure it out together."
"How is the season going on for you at Mercedes right now?"
"Well, it's still the same, you got to perform for the team, even now more since I need my portfolio to look good for the next team. I'm joking it's still fine, I'm talking to Toto and Lewis and it's all good, I do know who is replacing me so it's fun and exciting. You'll find out soon, no need to worry about me and the upcoming season, I'm still here to race for the team and hopefully the season will be good to us and for my future endeavors. Thank you."
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‘The reality of women who need access to legal abortion in Brazil is one of banishment’
Debora Diniz, anthropologist and researcher, comments on the current scenario
Thousands of Brazilian women took to the streets in different cities this mid-June to protest a proposed bill that could make access to safe and legal abortion even harder, criminalizing rape victims and taking back rights that are already guaranteed to them on the current legislation.
The bill 1904/24 was proposed by an evangelical congressman, Sóstenes Cavalcante, of the same Liberal Party (PL) as former president Jair Bolsonaro, and it was signed by 56 other parliamentarians from the Lower Chamber of the National Congress.
On June 12, the Chamber approved a request to see the bill voted urgently, which allows voting without the bill passing through discussions on commissions. A poll on the Chamber's own site that ran until May 17 shows 12 percent of voters were in agreement with the proposal and 88 percent in disagreement.
If the bill is approved, an abortion after 22 weeks would have the same penalty as a homicide in Brazil, even for women who were victims of sexual violence. This means they could even get a longer sentence than their rapists.
Currently, Brazil allows abortion only in three situations: in cases of anencephaly, if the pregnancy represents a risk to the woman's life or if it is a result of rape.
As reported by Agência Brasil, in 2023, Brazil registered 74,930 rape cases. Among those, 56,820 were against vulnerable people: under the law, when the victim is under 14 years old or has a mental health issue. In total, the country registered 2.687 cases of legal abortion last year, 140 with girls under 14 and 291 with ages between 15 and 19.
To understand what is at stake now, Global Voices talked to Debora Diniz, an anthropologist, researcher and expert in the legal abortion debate, who had to leave Brazil six years ago due to threats related to her stance on the issue. Diniz is associated with the University of Brasilia (UnB) and the NGO Instituto Anis, the latter also signed an action presented at the Supreme Court in 2017 to decriminalize all abortions up until 12 weeks of pregnancy.
Continue reading.
#brazil#brazilian politics#politics#feminism#abortion#reproductive rights#image description in alt#mod nise da silveira
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Nobody's Soldier
Pairing: Oldman!Logan x Native American OC!Maya Imik
Warnings: CANONICAL DEATH, depressing, whump, blood.
A/N: like i said,,,, i watched logan (2017) so this came out of that. if you know what avatar the last airbender is, maya is basically a waterbender with bloodbending abilities
Word Count: 1.1k
Hugh Jackman Masterlist
Being with Logan was the best thing to have ever happened to Maya. He came into her life at just the right time and helped her to feel more and more human. She only hoped to do the same with him. To make him feel loved and cared for and all things human that he forgot about years ago.
She thought she had all the time in the world to give that to him. Enough time to devote her entire life to him, give him memories that would hurt but would twist his heart with that familiar feeling he had when she was around. Give him hope. Love was everywhere. It could come from anyone. She knew her time on Earth was limited, even with her advanced healing, it was nothing compared to Logan’s. He would be there, no matter what. No one might know him as Wolverine in the future, but he’d be there
The problem was that he was dying. He was aging. His time was limited, now. Not hers.
His hair started to grey entirely rather than just at his temples and his wrinkles deepened and… he couldn’t heal as well as he used to. He had scars now, callouses on his knuckles, and he bled every single time he used his claws. Fuck, he had a goddamn limp.
Maya was scared she’d outlive the one person she thought—she knew—would live forever. She knew he was trying to put on a brave face every time he went to bed with her, trying to ease her worries, but there wasn’t anything he could say or do to take her mind off the truth.
His time was coming soon.
The years they spent together didn’t feel like they were enough. They could never feel like it was enough. So Maya cherished every damn moment like it was the last. Every laugh, every smile, every crinkle of his eyes, every kiss, every touch, every ‘I love you’ he said; which slowly became sparser.
He was tired. It was plain to see. Tired of life and the poison in his body that was slowly killing him which Maya couldn’t heal. There was no healing adamantium poisoning. There was just the slow but imminent inching towards the light.
Which meant there was a hard conversation that needed to be had.
“Maya, honey?” Logan grabbed her attention away from the book she was reading. He sat next to her at the table, facing her. “I need you to do something when I–”
“Logan.” Maya put her book down and gave him a glare. It was full of a different kind of heat. Sadness. She looked away from him.
Logan grabbed her chin roughly, “No, look at me. Listen to me,” He pleaded. Reluctantly, Maya captured his gaze with unshed tears on her waterline. “I’m going to go. You know that. I know that. When I do… You gotta do it. You have to stop my heart,” Her lip trembled as she drew in a sharp breath. “I wanna feel it, wanna feel you one last time. Please.” He was desperate.
Desperate for his lover to be the one who gives him the final blow. Desperate to feel her hands squeezing the life out of his heart. What a heavenly way to die, huh? But he wasn’t going to Heaven. No, he was going to be returned to the cold, dark Earth like he was supposed to.
Maya was cold. He liked the cold.
“I can’t—” She tried to keep in her tears.
Logan cupped her face. “Yes, you can. You will. I need you to.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek as the tears finally slipped out of her. He could taste the saltiness of them and secretly savored it.
Maya sobbed, pulling him into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around him like a vice and pushed her face into his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”
He cupped the back of her head and gently petted her hair, trying to soothe her. “I know, I know.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I’ll miss you too, honey. More than anything.”
She knew what that meant and it only made her cry harder. There was never an ‘I’ll love you till the day that I die,’ no. I’ll love you even after I die. I love you so much that you’ll feel it in your ribs after I go. I love you so much that anytime you enjoy simply existing, you should know that I’m right there with you. I love you so much that you should know the hardest part will be leaving you.
When Laura came along, Maya was skeptical, as was Logan. However, Maya warmed up to the little girl a lot faster than he did.
She never thought of herself as becoming a mother. She couldn’t have kids, especially not with Logan and she didn’t have a deep want to ever have children of her own anyway. Laura brought it out of her. She just wanted to make sure she was alright and quite literally stepped in front of a few bullets for her.
The younger Wolverine didn’t need to feel all the pain her father did.
When this journey started, Maya hadn’t expected Logan to die, but maybe that was because of the naivety of the twelve-year-old girl still trapped inside her.
She breathed in shakily when she sunk to her knees next to Logan. Laura was on the other side of him. The wooden roots were protruding out of his chest. No, there was no healing from this. Not anymore.
Logan took both of their hands, gripping them as tightly as he could. He looked at Laura, eyes beginning to glaze over. “Take your friends… Go. They’ll just keep coming and coming.” He held Laura a little tighter. “Don’t be what they made you.” He whispered.
“Daddy…” Laura cried softly.
He turned his head to Maya. She knew what that meant. “Please, Maya…” He was struggling to breathe. “I’m so tired…” His voice broke.
Maya gripped Logan’s bloody hand tightly and sniffled as tears rolled down her cheeks, dripping onto his skin. She put her other hand over his heart and curled her fingers. She could feel his heartbeat slow.
“So this is what it feels like…” Logan stared up at the sky, a flicker of wonder in his eyes.
She could feel his heartbeat stop.
She cried silently, nuzzling her face into his neck as if it were any other night. Her body shook with each inhale and exhale she took. She hadn’t loved him for long, only five years, but she loved him with all her heart. It wasn’t nearly enough.
Laura set a hand over Maya’s. She leaned over Logan’s body and held onto her. She needed her mother. And Maya needed a reason to keep going.
All this time spent fighting in other people’s wars… He wasn’t anyone's soldier now.
#oc#native american oc#ocs#logan howlett x oc#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x reader#logan wolverine#logan howlett#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#logan 2017#old man logan#laura kinney#transgender#canon bisexual logan#bisexual
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