#read a clockwork orange a few weeks ago

[justagaycryptid]

Watched American Psycho and this man wants to be Alex DeLarge sooo fucking bad its unreal

[aggieharkness]

Hello! Baking (or rather cutting out) Christmas cookies was a bit like a cold, tense hell with Christmas music playing in the background.

So I'd like to request reader baking Christmas cookies (or just normal cookies) with Lilia. Put as much fluffy, funny, feel-good feelings as you can in there, please. I'd really appreciate it.

Happy holidays!

The world is perfect when I'm with you

Pairing: Lilia Calderu x reader

Summary: It's Christmas Eve and you and Lilia share a few quiet moments at home baking cookies and simply enjoying the time to be with each other.

Warnings: romance, pure fluff, dancing, baking cookies.

Authors note: Oh my God, I love the idea. You don't know just how happy it made me to read this, like I was bouncing on my bed. I hope you like it and that it brings you happiness and comfort. If there is anything at all that you don't like, tell me and I'll change it, or if you want more, I'm here. Thanks for the request. btw.

This is a Christmas gift for you!! Happy Holidays!

The world is perfect when I'm with you

The house was filled with music. Christmas carol after Christmas carol played through the Bluetooth speaker you had bought a few months ago, echoing against the walls of Lilia’s tiny living area. She wasn’t one for festivities such as Halloween or Easter, but God, she adored Christmas. The first year you had shared the holidays with her it had surprised you just how invested she was, putting up an old beat-up tree, fairy lights everywhere, even around the bedposts, but you never complained. Her big brown doe eyes had shone with such joy and happiness that you just couldn’t bring yourself to burst her bubble in any way. The house had looked beautiful once she had finished, a small nativity scene in a corner of the room, a remnant of her past life in Sicily. This year wasn’t any different, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. The first of December hit the calendar, and she was like Sonic the Hedgehog pulling out boxes of lights and ornaments, leaving the tree to you, a brand new one covered in fake snow that you had gifted her a couple of years ago. She loved knowing that you were helping and making sure the house was just like she wanted it to look, little angels and random glass balls hanging from the branches, golden tinsel wrapped around it along with a string of lights. It looked beautiful next to the TV. For three weeks you helped her set up the house until you were finally able to take your vacation days, leaving your job until the sixth of January.

Morning had come, bursting through the windows in gentle warm rays of sunlight that bathed over Lilia’s form as she slept, those lovely peppery curls shinning under the orange beams, her body cuddled against yours. Every morning since you both had closed up the shop for the holidays had been exactly the same sweet routine; you waking up first to meet the dawn while she slept for a bit longer, basking in the way your hands followed the shape of her soft ringlets, and your tender kisses lulled her away from the land of dreams. It was simply the best way to begin the day. You both had stayed in bed talking about nothing and everything cuddled against each other until the sun was well high up in the sky, the pinks and purple hues that had painted the world above now a clear blue cyan while the world was buried underneath a crisp layer of snow that had fallen through the night. You had not noticed, wrapped around Lilia, lost in her kisses. She got up first, her hair falling from the bun she had had when you had taken her to bed, her ivory gown letting you catch a glimpse of her otherworld body as she made her way to the bathroom, the light hitting her just at the right angle making her nightdress completely see through. She looked bloody fantastic for being over a hundred and fifty years. The rest of the routine followed like clockwork, coffees and scrambled eggs included, making way for the moment you were both in right now.

Lilia’s body swayed from side to side to Michael Bublé, a Christmas classic for her, her voice not only harmonising perfectly, but overtaking and overpowering the music so easily and effortlessly that you had to stop pulling bowls out of cupboards simply to watch her. Over the kitchen counter she was beating three eggs along with melted butter and sugar, ingredients spread everywhere because when she had got up, right before she had left for the bathroom, she had bent over your body, your eyes drifting to her cleavage until her eyes had claimed your attention, telling you that you were making cookies today. Had you been Agatha or maybe even Jen you would have complained telling her that it was boring, but you were you and the prospect of baking with Lilia was like a perfect Christmas gift.

-Lils, how much flour do we need? – your eyes lifted from the big packet of flour that you had just left on the table, her usual red and blue robe flowing when she moved to stand beside you, a yellow apron with the words “Look at these buns!” protecting her clothes.

-280 grams baby, or one full cup. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

-Everywhere you go. Thanks, hon.  

-Take a look at the five and ten.

-It's glistening once again.

-With candy canes and silver lanes that glow.

It was wonderful to sing with her even if your voice could never compare; she did not care. Anything that she did with you was simply perfect. Her hands left the bowl of wet ingredients on the table, holding onto yours before you could grab the sifter. She pulled you away from the table, moving your arms from side to side rather dumbly, twirling you on the spot before your chest was pressed against hers. The music was forgotten in the background, drowned by both yours and Lilia’s laughter as your bodies bent exaggeratedly from right to left. Christmas suited her, it was as if this holiday had been made for her, the lights that she had placed all around the room blinking on and off within a pattern, the bright colours mixing with the warm light bursting through the windows. Lilia twirled the both of you around the kitchen table until the song ended, “Feliz Navidad” now playing instead. Her lips landed briefly over yours, pecking you sweetly before she put you back to work with the dry ingredients.

-Don’t forget the baking soda. Last time you did, the cookies became a rock-hard mass.

-Hey! How was I supposed to know that the baking soda wasn’t in the baking soda bottle but in the saffron one? You are the one who loves to recycle.

-Why would I want to throw away a perfectly usable jar? Besides it’s not my fault you forget your glasses in the bathroom all the time.

-Oh yeah? – you grabbed the top of her apron and pushed her against you. – Where are yours now babe?

-You little…

-Ah! No cursing, you don’t want the dough to get upset and not rise, do you?

-I don’t know why you listen to Rio, that it’s obviously a myth.

-Do you want to risk it? – she shook her head, her pout transforming into a bright smile before she kissed you once again, humming happily against your lips.

There were still a few deep tones of the black coffee she had had for breakfast on her lips that your tongue picked up and savoured before turning back to your bowl. Sifting the flour so there would be no lumps you followed the powder with your eyes carefully, making sure every single drop was inside the bowl this time. Over a week ago you had been supposed to bake an apple pie for Sharon’s book club but there had been a few minor hiccups, one of them being you sifting the flour all over the table because you had been looking at Lilia while she talked about a client that had come in requesting the lottery number. When she turned around, she saw you covered in the white powder, bursting into unladylike snorts of laughter that had her entire face turning red, needing to sit for a moment to fill her lungs and calm herself down. Through the corner of her eye she watched you fill the bowl and congratulated you on not spilling it, a kiss on your temple, her hands busy slicing a couple of chocolate bars. She was teasing a bit, but every praise was always genuine when they came from her, a bubble of happiness wrapping around your heart. A pinch of salt and the baking soda and the dry ingredients were ready for the rest of the mix, Lilia wiping her hands on a tea towel before beginning to pour the eggs, sugar and melted butter mix. Instead of using a whisk you had grabbed a spatula from the sink, washing it before beginning to gently fold the batter until it was smooth but thick.

-Can you turn the oven on? I’m almost done with the chocolate.

-Can’t we just bake them with, you know… a flick of our wrist?

-I swear, Halloween Town has made so much damage. Being able to do something doesn’t mean we should, and you have never seen me turn chicken thighs back into a chicken, have you?

-No, but can we?

You knelt on the floor removing trays and plastic Tupperwares so they wouldn’t melt, turning knobs until the light came on and the fan began to work. You were thankful for all those squat trainings you did as you lifted the ceramic trays you had removed from inside the oven and placed them over the bed covers noticing that Lilia had not answer the question. When you turned around she was biting into a perfectly backed chocolate chip cookie, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips.

-Why didn’t you tell me we actually could Lilia?!

-Because half of the fun is letting the smell of fresh baked cookies fill the house.

She stretched her hand, the half-eaten cookie waiting for you. You rushed back to her and took one big bite, moaning at the taste of the chocolate and vanilla essence, Lilia popping the rest in her mouth, pecking your lips after a moment. Even though she could clearly bake at the snap of her fingers she still moved to put parchment over a metal tray, grabbing a scoop from a drawer. She had already mixed the chocolate into the batter, the dough cold to the touch when you went to pick up some with your finger. So, she could chill it in a second instead of putting it in the fridge, but she did not want to bake them with her magic? A waste of time in your opinion, but then again, she might be right, as usual. The house did smell delicious for days after baking. Lilia had placed a bottle of olive oil on the table so you could lather your hands in it, the first scoop of batter landing in your palms so you could round them before placing them on the parchment paper, over two inches in between each cookie so they could rise and expand in the over without ending up as one giant monstrous thing. It had happened before. The first batch of eight cookies was done in just a few minutes, but there was still a bit of batter left, not that Lilia hadn’t thought of a solution already, another tray waiting for what was left. Just as you finished rounding the last one the oven begun to beep, and Lilia bent to put the trays inside, setting a timer for around fifteen minutes.

-Now for the sugar cookies. I’ll get the ingredients ready while you clean up the table, okay baby?

-Sure, just let me move this flour bag to the counter first.

Innocently you picked up the heavy bag, waddling slightly towards where Lilia had cleared a spot for it on the counter, feeling it slipping a bit off your hands, your steps faster so it wouldn’t end up on the floor. In slow motion you let it plop on the counter, just in time, your fingers barely holding onto it, but the motion had caused a white cloud of flour to come out of the bag right towards Lilia’s spot. Your hands shot to cover your mouth, eyes wide, when you turned to look at her, fighting the laughter that wanted to erupt out of your mouth. Lilia’s beautiful face with her rosy cheeks, big characteristic nose and plump lips was utterly covered in a thick layer of white. She blinked a few times, flour falling off her eyelashes giving her an even more comical look with her chocolate doe eyes staring at you through the white mask. Some of it had made its way to her hair, mixing perfectly with her curls. She opened her mouth to speak but she coughed instead, a small cloud of flour puffing in front of her right before sneezing, part of the powder falling onto the top of her dress and over her yellow apron. There was silence for a moment, not even YouTube Music was playing as she stared at you, hands on her hips. An instant later “Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” was filling up the room with its jolly tune, your laughter impossible to keep quiet.

You roared loudly, a hand still trying to cover your mouth while the other was holding onto your stomach, eyes moving from her face down to the floor. Lilia was staring dumbfounded at you, an offended look on her face as you laughed. Her hand shot to grab your arm pulling you towards her, eyes watering when you rose up to gaze at her. She stopped your laughter quickly, her hand throwing a handful of flour to your face, making you blink away the flour surprised at her action. Staring at each other there was no sound coming from either of you before Lilia chuckled, you following until you were both laughing, your hand grabbing more flour and throwing it in her direction, Lilia dodging it just in time. When you saw that she was putting her hand in the bag you rushed away from her giggling excitedly, feeling her behind you as you rounded the table, her flour missing you by an inch. She was now actively chasing you all throughout the house, your body sliding through the curtains and into the store. You were both leaving a trail of flour on the floor, but neither of you cared.

-I’ll get you for this!

-I’m sorry! I didn’t… - you could hardly breath from how much you were laughing, screaming in delight whenever she got close enough to grab you but never actually doing it. - I didn’t mean it!

-Come here!

You rushed to the door, pulling the glass gates open and stepping into the empty street. Sure, you were not wearing clothes appropriate for snow, your feet cozy inside your slippers, legs dressed in a pair of black leggings, but you hadn’t thought of that. Moving over two feet away from the house, Lilia following you out into the street, you took one step until you felt her hands grabbing onto your waist, pulling you against her. You yelped gleefully while laughing, feeling her arms snake around you, the perfect crispy snow reaching your mid-calf, the air cold, a contrast against Lilia’s delicious warm body.

-Got you. – she whispered in your ear, her breaths rapid and hot against the skin of your neck. You smiled while resting your head in the crook of her neck, very little flour left on your faces now.

-So you did.

-If it was all a ploy so we could come out and play in the snow you know you could have just told me.

-Hmmm, not a bad idea, but it was an accident.

-I know, baby. I’m not mad, but you are cleaning up when we are done baking.

Your mouth was open in shock, a retort forming in your tongue as you turned your face to look at her, but it never made it out of your mouth, her lips on yours kissing you tenderly, her soft ringlets caressing your cheeks. The chocolate cookie had left a wonderful sweet taste on her lips, or perhaps it was the bite you had had, either way, it seemed to fit her perfectly. You both stood over the snow for a few minutes observing the usual boring street covered in glistening white all over, on the roof tops, over the signposts. It was beautiful as long as you had Lilia behind you pecking your cheek. She turned you around after a while, holding onto your hands, pulling your frame back inside the cozy home. The oven had just begun to beep when you crossed the curtain to the back, Lilia rushing to them so they wouldn’t burn letting go of you. She was beautiful, spots of flour still clinging to her skin, like on her forehead or the tip of her nose, but they didn’t seem to bother her as she placed one tray on the stove and the other on the counter over a plate so it wouldn’t leave a burn mark on the old wood. You could spend every minute of your life watching her do anything.

They smelled absolutely delicious, the aroma spreading through the room to every corner, gently sliding into the shop. Over the bed covers you had left a rack which she picked up and left on the counter, you watching from your spot against the back wall as Lilia worked flawlessly, transferring the cookies along with the parchment paper to let them cool down. There was no room for the hot trays now, but that was no issue. Lilia turned, locking her eyes with you and then winked, lazy tendrils of yellow magic wrapping themselves around the trays and lifting them in the air, floating with gentle swaying motions over your heads. Everything related to Lilia’s magic was always so very mystical, visions, readings, the usual divination magic that she was used to, so it was wonderful to see the more practical, fun side of it, it meant she was relaxed and happy. She moved her hand beckoning you to join her, pulling out a pair of clean bowls after she had left the dirty ones in the sink.

-Why don’t you start with the icing?

-What happened with cleaning up the table?

-Flour on my face happened, doll. But don’t worry, there’s not much on the table now, I’ll just move those cups to the side if I need to.

-You don’t trust me anymore? – you pouted with a fake saddened tone as she took a stick of butter and a few eggs out of the fridge, turning her body towards you, a hand on the counter and the other on her hip, head lulled to the side. She sighed but smiled, your pouting making you look just so adorable.

-You know I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have given you the fun part of the recipe. You get to paint the cookies, baby.

-Yeah, but it’s fun doing things together. I want you to paint with me.

-Who said I wasn’t going to? You just make the icing and leave it on the side while I start on the batter and then we can cut them together. Does my baby like that?

Nodding your head she moved her hands to your cheeks kissing your lips tenderly, a smile on her lips when she parted from you. Happy that you had got, yet again, another kiss you took a small bowl from the cupboard above your head, checking the recipe that was stuck to the exhaust hood above the stove with a magnet before picking up two eggs, separating the yolks from the whites. Lilia kindly took the yolks and put them aside to use them at lunch time while you beat the whites with the whisk a bit. You didn’t need to do it, you just liked to before putting the icing sugar in, which you could not find in any of the cupboards. You pulled doors open, drawers, you even searched the fridge, it wouldn’t have been the first time any of you had accidentally put something in that didn’t belong there, but it was nowhere, and you could have sworn you had bought some not long ago. Lilia saw you moving frantically all over the kitchen and asked loudly what you needed over the music of “Jingle Bells Rocks” that was now playing. Upon hearing what you needed she moved aside to present you with a bright orange bottle.

Of course, she must have picked it and put aside when she had begun to gather ingredients. She was measuring the sugar, your eyes watching how her hands, dressed in rings on multiple fingers, tapped the bag and moved to the beath of the song. With a small cloud of floating icing sugar you mixed it all, a white paste forming in the bowl to which you added a little bit of corn syrup to make it glossier, just a touch that you liked. Now came the fun bit, taking the food colouring and crating the weirdest shades you could come up with. With a spoon you poured some of the mixture into an empty glass, adding a drop of red that turned pink upon mixing it with a teaspoon, so you added a few more, happy with the bright red that you made and setting it aside. Lilia looked at your science experiment from the corner of her eyes, hands adding spoonfuls of flour into the wet ingredients, folding the powder in. You were like a little kid with a bunch of sharpies and crayons painting lines and figures excited to see the final outcome, Lilia’s brown eyes looking at you as you mixed red and blue to create purple, although right now it looked a bit more like a suspicious brown. She let you finish mixing the colours, reminding you to leave part of the icing white, before adding the last few touches of a pinch of salt and baking powder, the dough clumpy in the bowl, as it should be.

 -Are you done with the arts and crafts, babe?

-Yeah, I think. How do you make grey?

-You don’t. I didn’t get any black colouring. Why would you want to add grey to Christmas cookies?

-Well, I don’t have an idea right now, but I like to have a range.

-Come on, Van Gogh, let’s roll the dough.

While you closed the last bottle of colouring Lilia placed the dough on the table, her strong arms and hands kneading and rolling to combine it and let it form a big smooth ball. You were mesmerised by the way her muscles moved up and down even through the lose sleeves of her dressing gown, her chest bouncing gently to the motion, your eyes glued to soft flesh of her neck and collarbones through the low-cut dress she was wearing, her amulet swaying along. It was incident to stare like that, but she was just too captivating, and she knew. She could feel your eyes watching her every move, a shiver running down her spine, but she never stopped kneading, there would plenty of time for her to take you to bed later. She gave it a few more punches before patting the little ball of dough, signalling that she was done.

-Should I get the rolling pin?

-Yeah, this is ready. It’s in the second drawer, next to the bottle opener.

-It’s too early for a glass wine, right?

-Yes, darling. It’s my company so bad that you need to get drunk at 10 am? – she raised an eyebrow while looking at you, a hand on her hip over her apron. Only a couple of feet separated you, but it was too much of a gap for you, snaking your arms around her neck while her hands automatically moved to your waist, her lips ghosting over yours.

-Never. You are far too alluring and beautiful, I would hate to get drunk and forget tomorrow how you looked today, or how your perfume compliments the smell of cookies so well.

A childish giggle escaped her mouth, muffled when she bent to peck your lips. She was clingy today, or amorous, either way you were not complaining. Parting from you she patted your hip, a sign that she needed you to get her the rolling pin, which of course you did. Anything she needed. There was a certain level of excitement building in your chest as Lilia rolled the dough until it was a quarter inch thick, the sheet overtaking half of the kitchen table, the best part coming at last.

-Right, where are the cookie cutters, babe?

-They should be in a box in the cupboard over the sink. Let me check. – pulling a chair from under the table you stepped on it to check in between the toaster and a juicer that you had got her for her birthday, date that she still refused to tell the girls in the coven, Sharon included as she could be a bit of babble when she had a glass or two of wine in her system. You searched but the box was nowhere to be found. – I can’t find them, did you move them, hon?

-No, not that I remember. Have you looked behind the coffee bags?

-Yeah, they’re not there. Where… Ah… I know where they are.

-Where? I’ll get them while you come down.

-Does the car have gas? – she was resting her backside against the edge of the desk as you stepped down, returning the chair underneath the table.

-What? What does the car have to do with anything?

-I lent them to Agatha.

-What? Why?

-I don’t know, I stopped asking her what she needs things for. I’m not getting another story of her and Rio’s sexual exploits during an expo or whatever. She just asked for them, so I lent them to her.

-You mean gave them to her. We are going to have to buy new ones. Well, it’s not too much of a loss, just grab a couple of knifes and we’ll freehand the cookies.

You practically hopped your way to the upper drawer to pick a pair, rushing back to her side and handing her one. You stared at the dough as if calculating, figuring out exactly what you wanted to do and after a moment, you began to create what you were sure was a candy cane, super proud of the shape until you looked at Lilia, who had had the same idea, and noticed how your lines were hardly straight and the curve was more a 90º angle.

-Why does yours look like an actual candy cane?

-Practice. Oh, yours is not that bad, baby. What is it?

-Ha ha. You know very well what it is.

-Yes, sorry, just teasing.

It was now a competition for you, eyes squinted and your teeth biting down on the tip of your tongue as you tried to keep the knife straight through every line, connecting them all and creating a star, or what you thought should be one, because it looked more as if it had just been run over by a car. Lilia laughed when she saw it and in a childish move you planted your index finger right on her Christmas tree, squishing it while sticking your tongue out. She gasped while calling your name.

-Y/N!

-You laughed at my star!

-It doesn’t look like one, baby.

-And now your tree doesn’t look like a tree, so we are even.

-Darling, it doesn’t matter if they are not perfect, we know what they are supposed to be and that’s all that matters. So what if your star needs a bit of therapy? Now my tree needs a chiropractor. Let’s continue, alright?

-Just don’t laugh again.

-I promise, scouts honour.

She pecked your lips and forehead before tuning back to the dough. The next form was supposed to be a snowman, but it looked more like a bunch of amorphous meatballs, a giggle sliding through your lips at the sight. You turned to check Lilia’s attempt at a reindeer which was more along the lines of a corgi with horns. You could not help it, it brought a cackle out of you, her peppery curls bouncing around her face as she wiped her head to look at you.

-I didn’t laugh at yours!

-Yeah, but… what the hell is that Lils?

-It’s a… It was supposed to be a reindeer.

-I’m sorry honey, but it looks nothing like one.

-Well, it’s a new breed. From Canada.

-Shall we name it? – your hand went to her shoulder, your head resting over it as you both watched the figure.

-Agatha, for stealing our cookie cutters.

She laughed at her own joke, your own snorting only adding to the humour of the moment, without a care in the world. Both of you carried on making shapes and forms, some of them better than others, some being additions to the “new breed from Canada”. You had pointed at each other’s creations laughing and praising, giving some of them names until you had the entire coven in cookie form, but you and Lilia’s figures could not be those weird interpretations of snowmens and trees, so you let her carve yourselves as two beautiful gingerbread women. It had started out as Christmas cookies but in the end, when Lilia had begun to move them to the floating trays, there had been more amorphous beings than accurate forms, but neither of you cared one bit, “Fairytale of New York” following “Santa Baby” on your Christmas playlist. Lilia’s head perked up at the sound of the music, pushing the door to the oven with her hip until it closed, setting a timer for ten minutes. She grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours as she pressed you against her, swaying to the song.

She must have been a singer and a dancer at some point in her life, there was just no way she could be that good and not have had shown her gift to the world at least once. You would ask her one of these days, but as of now you were happy to dance with her in the kitchen, listening to her sweet voice follow the tune. The moment was perfect, down to the song, to the way the sun caught in her hair as she twirled you both around the room, her citrusy perfume filling up your lungs along with the sweetness of the cookies. How could you have ever been blue? How could you have ever thought that happiness was not in for you? Lilia had come into your life and the world was suddenly a beautiful place where nothing could ever go wrong. Staring at her eyes it was as if they were the melted chocolate you had tasted on her lips earlier, warm and loving.

-They've got cars big as bars, they've got rivers of gold.

-But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old.

-When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve.

-You promised me Broadway was waiting for me.

-You were handsome

-You were pretty, Queen of New York City

She laughed at the nickname, head lulled back, her feet never stopping, moving from side to side. The living area wasn’t precisely Buckingham Place, but you two made it work, and as Lilia’s moved both your bodies, her dressing gown brushing the foot of the Christmas tree, she truly showed you how much that tiny little room could give. The warm light that had bathed the room suddenly disappeared, the bright colourful lights that she had placed in every corner overtaking and lighting up the room in a dance of colours and shapes. Your eyes drifted to the window seeing the sky covered by big fluffy white clouds, a gentle breeze having picked up outside the house, the first few snowflakes beginning to fall, but Lilia claimed your attention when she pushed your body away form hers while still holding your hands.

-The boys of the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay and the bells were ringing out for Christmas day.

She pulled you back against her body once again, her arms around your waist, your hands resting on the back of her neck twirling her soft curls in between your fingers. Her forehead was pressed against yours, the movements slow as the song carried onto the last few verses letting the words drip from her lips in hushed tones only for you to hear. The two of you had closed your eyes letting the warmth of each other’s bodies wrap around you, basking in the way you could feel the love seeping from every pore, from every word that escaped her lips. It wasn’t until she sang the last verse, her breath tickling your nose, that she did press her lips to yours, hiding her face into the crook of your neck after a few moments to escape the reality outside those four walls. “Auld Lang Syne” followed, the softer tune perfect for you both to simply sway on the spot, your hands caressing Lilia’s hair and neck, your cheek resting against her ear as she breathed in your perfume and shampoo, humming happily. Neither of you wanted the moment to end, feeling as if being like this, in each other’s arms, was just the perfect way to live Christmas Eve before the craziness of going over to Sharon’s with the rest of the coven happened. You wanted to savour every second you had with Lilia and only Lilia. For once the world could wait, stop moving altogether until you were ready to carry on with life, though you doubted you would ever let the happen.

Right on time the last few notes playing marked start of another song, the oven starting to beep. Lilia did not wish to move, but she had to, extracting herself after a minute to pull the trays out, letting them float around just like she had done before. You helped her transfer the chocolate chip cookies onto a plate, setting them aside so she could let the sugar cookies out of the trays and onto the racks. But you were impatient, she knew, and with a flick of her wrist, your eyes shinning gleefully as you watched a few sparkles of golden magic fly from her fingertips, they were cold enough to be placed on the kitchen table to be decorated.

-Do you have any ideas you want to share, darling?

-Not really, well, maybe. I think we should paint the Coven with their signature colours.

-Alright. Let’s start with Agatha, that way if she looks bad it won’t matter much. She owes me a bunch of cutters.

It was playful banter, she didn’t really hate Agatha, quite the opposite, she took care of the woman as if she were a daughter, looking after her, looking out for her, protecting her from the world as if she were afraid someone could break her. It was one of the main things that had attracted you to her at first, her caring, nurturing nature. She picked up an empty pipping bag and let you fill it up with the purple icing before cutting the tip. The first blob fell right in the middle of the reindeer, and since there wasn’t much she could now she carried on. The shape was horrid, but she assured you that once the details were added it would bring it all together. You weren’t very sure. The eyes looked a bit disproportionate, and the antlers were a bit thick, but all in all Lilia thought it looked good, and you didn’t want to disagree.

-My turn now, let me do Sharon. In green?

-Yeah, we have two green witches, we’ll just make Rio’s eyes brown and call it a day.

You might not have been gifted with the knife, but you sure were better with the pipping bag than Lilia. Your reindeer was more accurate, green but accurate, the small beady eyes perfectly positioned but the antlers… the looked like a bunch of worms. It suited a green witch you supposed. Lilia was quick to praise and tell you that it was beautiful, kissing your temple and watching as you did Rio’s as well, a perfect reindeer in front you down to red nose and everything. You were so excited, bouncing in her arms, her words filled with love and joy as she told you just how pretty it was. Her hands moved on to Jen, the shape of the snowwoman much easier than that of a reindeer in pretty shade of pink, the eyes and buttons brown, along with a blue scarf and orange nose. She put it aside to let the icing harden your hands working on Billy as she did Alice, both snowman that looked pretty decent taking on account that Lilia’s orange pipping bag burst in her hand just as she was finishing Alice’s body, icing all over the table and a couple of candy cane cookies.

-What a mess!

-Baking is messy, Lils. Don’t worry, there’s enough icing left to make more orange.

-But…

-It’s perfectly fine, honey, honestly. Just clean that up and I’ll make more. And those two cookies can be like orange flavoured candy canes. See? Problem solved.

-My baking hero.

Grabbing a glass after she pecked your cheek, you were quick to blend the right shade of orange, putting it inside a new pipping bag and handing it to Lilia so she could finish Alice’s body. It was beautiful to do this together, Lilia’s lines wiggly and the consistency a big lumpy when she tried to do the first few stockings until she gave up and moved on to the stars, easier in her opinion. You tried to write names on the stockings once she had moved them to your side of the table, but they were more like scribbles that no one could understand, still the colour code every member of the coven had settled for kind of helped to identify which was for which. The moment was both cozy and hilarious, pointing at the figures you were both painting, commenting, laughing and scraping to begin again only to end up with the same wiggly lines and mismatched colours. Lilia once in a while added her own touch to one of your cookies, be it a weird bow or a string of tinsel around a tree while you gave hers a more artistic touch by adding sparkles to her candy canes or little dots of colour on her reindeer’s antlers claiming that they were Christmas lights. She had laughed hard at that stating in between laboured breaths that it looked as if the poor thing had crashed a farmers’ market, and to be honest it kind of did, laughing along with her, your body pressed against her arm as you both shook and cackled. But neither of you cared, they were yours and in their horrid looks they looked perfect to you. The only thing left was to paint were you and Lilia’s gingerbread women, something that you were left in charge of as Lilia didn’t want to risk it. The pressure was real as you did Lilia’s face, her curls a mix of white and brown icing before you moved onto the clothes giving her a yellow jacket, white blouse and blue pants, the outfit you had met her in when she had been thrown out of the Witches Road after fishing her task. She had been covered in mud back then, but you weren’t one to add brown and destroy her beautiful cookie. You put as much effort in your own, dressing yourself in a pair of black trousers and a red blouse, your hair in a bun above your head.

-They look beautiful babe. Mirror images of reality.

-It’s easy when you have the perfect model in front of you. – she smiled at the compliment, a gentle pink hue dressing her cheeks. She blushed so tenderly and so beautifully.

-Flattery will get you everywhere with me, darling.

-I certainly hope so.

-As much as I love the idea of letting you have your way with me, why don’t we let these cookies settle for a bit and go out?

-Everything’s closed.

-I didn’t say that we had to go somewhere in specific. You like snow, don’t you?

-Of course!

-Then get your winter boots on and let’s make a real snowman!

-Really?!

You jumped on the spot nearly knocking over the table, Lilia’s hands shooting to grab it, your lips on her cheek before rushing to the other side of the room. You apologised while running to your closet, grabbing a jumper, a pair of thicker trousers along with some Harry Potter socks and rushing to the bathroom, your voice reaching her ears as you sang loudly, your voice filled with joy, knocking over things that were on the sink.

-Do you want to build a snowman?!

-Oh, God, not “Frozen” again.

[king-spite]

thanks for the tag Aleksander! :] 🫶🫶

• Reblog with your current/next reads!

Current reads:

(have been my crs for over a month bc college has been kicking my ass and i haven't had the time to read :| but i'm liking both a lot so far!)

Next reads:

( i read the 1st poppy war book last year and it became my absolute fav series, so i plan to finish reading the whole series after my crs. wish me good luck🧍)

tags (trying to include everyone who hasn't been tagged already + anyone else who wants to join<3): @princenightingale @thatpeculiargremlin @planetmaven @mavenne @infinitely-caffeinated @sappholovell @shakingcryingwriting @bunnybearsworld @ravioliwings

Reblog with your current/next reads :p

Current:

Next:

Anyone can, but tagging: @barnbridges @one-hell-of-otaku-is-here @tmin-n @infactilovetea @poeticabomination @memory-the-unconscious

[creepling]

✒️ - “making fun of them for their favourite (movie/book/etc) then (watching/reading/etc) it because of them and ending up loving it” + johnny <3

(congratulations on 1k you’re writing is so immersive and the characterisation is always SO on point you deserve every note and follower <33)

omg anon thank you sm, that is so sweet. i love this prompt so much because i have been wondering what type of movies and books johnny would be into. hope you like the result<33

tags: ment of a clockwork orange. canon-set in 1974. johnny is smoking and gets a lil pissy at reader

"Surely you go to the cinema now and then," You scoff after Johnny admits he wasn't one to watch many movies.

"Nah, don't like 'em," He shrugged, resting his feet on the porch fence, and he swung on his chair. You watch as he draws his cigarette, shaking your head in amazement.

"Have you ever seen a movie in your life?" You tease, shading your eyes from the blazing sun.

Johnny frowned and exhaled the smoke from his mouth, "Of course, I have, dumbass. I'm not that stupid."

"Well, what's the best movie you've seen so far?" You ask, leaning back on the fence, your blinded eyes adjusting to Johnny's face.

He thought for a good while, sucking his cheeks and staring into space. "A Clockwork Orange," He blankly answered, returning to smoking his cigarette.

Your eyebrows knit in inquisitiveness. You have heard of it; it came out a few years ago. But everyone you know who saw it said it was disturbing, so you did not go and see it. "Isn't that the British one with a lot of violence in it?"

Johnny shrugged, "It wasn't that bad,"

You scoff out a laugh. "Trust the bad boy to like a movie with a lot of violence in it," You tease, earning a glare from him.

"You asked me my favourite movie, and I told you. Now you wanna get at me for it?" Johnny's defensiveness took you aback, causing you to laugh nervously.

"I'm only joking, Johnny. Damn, calm down." You say, but Johnny was already storming back inside the house. You took that as your message to leave and sulk back to your car.

In the week you were away from the Slaughter yard, you took the time to go to a midnight screening of A Clockwork Orange, thinking you owed Johnny some gratitude for teasing him. Once you left the cinema, you were amazed. Sure, it was violent, very violent. At times, you shielded your eyes from the screen. But for Johnny to like it, it was surprisingly visualistic. It was grotesquely beautiful.

The next day, you visited Johnny, approaching the porch like a dog with its tail between its legs. You were curious to know if Johnny was mad at you as he gave you a blank stare like he always does. In the same position, smoking a cigarette, you walk up to him and stand by his side.

"I saw that movie you like the other day," You begin, looking for his reaction.

He glances at you, keeping to himself. You lean down and wrap your arms around his shoulders, resting your head.

"It was terrific," You confess. Johnny's shoulders shifted as he chuckled. "What?"

"Trust you to tease me for liking a movie and end up likin' it yerself," He said amusingly, leaving a peck on your arm. At his return to affection, you smiled and hugged him tighter.

"I kinda wanna see it again. Maybe we should go together?" You suggest.

Johnny smirks as he rubs your arm and pulls you closer, "Sounds like a date."

[bleedchan]

this opening feels so intensely nostalgic and melancholy to me that i cried the first time i saw it the other day haha................

like.......

as a kid, i would have been intensely obsessed with this in secret, but also suuuper ashamed and embarrassed about it, haha...

i first got into anime when i was 6 or 7. i was super into pokemon, dbz, outlaw star, tenchi muyo...

at the time, we had to do Accelerated Reader. which was hell. my reading level kept getting pushed higher and higher until i was having to read One massive, crusty ass old book per 9 weeks, and pass the shit-quality standardized test for it on a computer—or get a shit grade!

so i was having to choke down shit like dracula, black beauty, whatever. my technique to get through it was i'd imagine everyone in the book as anime characters. the mom in ol yeller i imagined as the blond lady from tenchi muyo:

i really liked watching dbz and stuff with my older brother, who i obviously thought was super cool. due to bad parenting, he got kind of obsessed with being Smart and doing well at school and stuff—and putting me down as much as possible, of course—saying i'm dumb, demonstrating how much better at everything than me he was, etc...

so at some point anime in general started feeling like "his" thing, and i got kind of bitter and hurt about it, and decided (as a middle schooler) that i was going to be more into stuff that was smarter and more offputting and awful, like, idk... a clockwork orange and captain beefheart. lol.

i guess i got really into trigun, and used to watch the dvds on my computer—hunched over, because my headphones' cable was too short... and i watched inuyasha with my older sister at some point, too, i guess...

to get back to my main point, the intro of magical girl lyrical nanoha just... it's... somehow so intensely nostalgic, and so impactful to me it's kind of painful, despite only seeing it for the first time a few days ago, haha...

it reminds me of what first drew me to anime as a kid—the same yearning, the sense of another world, different and better and seemingly more understanding of the sensitive autistic loneliness inside of me than the ugly, joyless midwest... idk

[damnmmmmmmmmmm]

AnnaBitch and CAA will find a way to have her there / so, per your statement a few asks ago, it means your blog is getting closed down in a week?

Oh, absolutely. If Seb takes his haunted doll to the awards, this blog will go down—because after awards season, he’ll finally exorcise the demon and leave the horror franchise behind. But let’s be real- And listen, I know Seb doesn’t read this blog (probably), but if he did? Oh, he’d love it. Why? Seb would probably cackle because he hates the horror movie character he’s been playing house with just as much as we do.

Even if CAA strapped him to a chair Clockwork Orange-style and held a gun to his head, he’d still find a way to avoid her—maybe he’d fake a method acting crisis or suddenly decide he’s too European for public appearances- he still wouldn’t take her. Man looks like he’s trapped in The Conjuring every time they’re in the same frame—pretty sure he would love this blog just for saying what his face already does!

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (1092): Tue 25th Mar 2025

I decided to risk going for a run for possibly the first time this year. I stopped going for runs last year after I started pinching nerves in my lower back and was limping for three days as a result. However I felt I had to attempt to do some sort of exercise this year and to my amazement I managed to get through the whole thing unharmed. This is huge for me. Me being able to go for a thirty minute run and not pulling a muscle or trapping a nerve is like Stephen Hawking winning Strictly Come Dancing. I spent most of the day sat in the back yard with the dog listening to music. I can not stress how happy I am that the cold weather has once again fucked off. As soon as I’ve got all the travel based stuff crossed off my bucket list I’m going to start going to Gran Canaria for a week in December, January and February each year so that after every three weeks of freezing cold Hell I’ll be able to go ti a nice Sunny beach and warm my toes up. I set off for improv at five and as I was standing on the train platform they were playing classical music over the speakers and I think I read a while ago that this was to deter antisocial behaviour. I don’t know if it works because Hitler was massively into classical music so the argument could be made that this genre of music brings the violence out of you. Maybe Hitler was playing a Wagner composition backwards and there was a subliminal message in there telling him to fuck shit up and make the world his bitch. I’d like to make a record so that I could put a subliminal message in it but then I’d also put another subliminal message inside the subliminal message and then put another subliminal message…you get the drift. If a brawl broke out on the station while there was classical music playing it would just look like something out of A Clockwork Orange. I was sat next to this girl who was wearing a Def Leppard shirt and some leopard print tights. I wonder if the clothes on her legs always match the T-shirt she’s wearing. If that’s the case then if she ever wears a Kanye West shirt she’ll have to go out naked from the waist down. In tonight’s class one of our warm ups was to swap chairs but we had to ask politely in the style of a child but for some reason my child’s voice always came out like Michael Jackson. The theme of the night was “status” and the exercise we had to do tonight was to mingle at a social gathering while acting low status and then high status. I was really struggling with this as I just couldn’t think of anything to say and everyone else was really good at this game. Still shivering at the idea of having to do a scene of my own in front of everyone but we’ll cross that bridge if I don’t throw myself off it to avoid having to do my own scene. After the class we all went across the road to the pub for a few drinks and got to meet the guys from the level two class which was lots of fun. It was cool getting to hear stories from the guys who had done our class before us and all the weird scenes they’d performed since joining. One of the guys in the level two class told us that they do “Would You Rather?” / “What would it take for you to…?” style questions and his most infamous example was when he asked what it would take for his classmates to jump in a swimming pool full of cum. My main concern in this scenario would be whether there would just be cum in this pool or would their still be chlorine because that stuff stings like a bitch and the smell really lingers. Plus I’d be worried about Katie Price not sticking to her lane in the swimming pool of cum and having to constantly swim out of her way. I massively lost track of time tonight because I only intended to stay for a quick drink but ended up stopping out for two hours. I missed my last train so had to get a bus all the way back to Sunderland town centre and then drive my car back from the multi storey car park. By the time I got home it was almost two AM but I didn’t mind. Today was a good day, definitely the one to beat for the rest of the year. 

[survey--s]

662.

What colour is the photo frame closest to you? Pale wood.

Are your pets asleep right now, if you have any? The cats are all asleep but the dog is awake and waiting for Mike to get home - I think the clock change has confused him as it's dark and Mike is normally home before dark lol.

Would you have any idea what your parents are doing right now? I assume they're at home - probably watching TV?

How many windows (roughly) does your house have? Eight.

Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? No. They all live overseas so we barely speak to each other.

What was the last kids movie you saw? Alice in Wonderland.

Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? My mum was born in East Africa. Well, on an island there.

Have you ever been to an internet cafe? Ha yes. I remember when finding an internet cafe was like, the highlight of my holidays LOL.

Are there any upcoming events for you to look forward to? Yeah, the weekend, my birthday and Christmas break.

Has the year gone quickly for you so far? This year has FLOWN by. I can't believe it's Halloween already.

How many siblings does your significant other have? Four. Three sisters and a brother.

Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? I can but it's not pleasant.

Have you ever done three or more shots in a row? Yes.

Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? I'm sure I do as it's a pretty common one.

What was the last movie you saw in theatres? Cats ha. I haven't been to the movies since before COVID.

Are you interested in international politics? I wouldn't say I was interested but I do keep up to date on it.

How many pairs of jeans do you own? About ten or so.

When was the last time you showered? About three and a half hours ago when I got in from work.

Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? No.

What was the first cellphone you had and how old were you when you got it? It was a Sagem something or other and I was about thirteen. According to Google it was a my X-6.

Do you use public transport in your town or city? No. It's unreliable and generally doesn't go where you need to get to.

Have your parents ever worked in a factory? I think my dad did when he was a student.

Do you have several best friends? No.

How many lights are in the room you’re in? Three sets of fairy lights and two overhead lights.

Is there a Hard Rock Cafe in your town or city? No. I haven't been to one of those in about a decade lol.

Do you eat fast food more than once a week? No.

What flavour is your toothpaste? Mint.

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? Yeah, with my husband.

When was the last time you had a bubble bath? About a month ago.

Are you sleepy right now? A little bit. Not enough to actually sleep though.

How big is your backyard? Big enough for a small terraced house.

Do you know anyone with Tourette’s Syndrome? No.

What time does your alarm wake you up in the morning? On work days, 7.30am.

What was the last zoo you visited? Our local one, which is pretty shit really.

Do you like crime films and tv shows? I have to be in the right mood for them, but yeah.

When you shop, do you take a basket or a cart (trolley)? Depends on how much I plan on buying.

Have you ever tasted milk straight from the cow? Yeah, a few times. It's GOOD.

What’s your favourite sleeping position? On my right side, curled up.

What colour is the bra you’re wearing? Black.

Have you ever seen A Clockwork Orange? No. I've read the book though.

Are you bitter about anything? Nah.

Do you like to make games out of chores to make them more enjoyable? No, it just takes even longer lol.

How many letters are in your best friend’s surname? Six, the same as mine.

Is there anything in your possession that probably shouldn’t be? Nope.

What is your favourite flavour of yoghurt? Raspberry or blackcurrant.

What was the first online account you remember having? Probably a Hotmail account or something.

Do you listen to music to fall asleep? No, I like silence to sleep.

Where did you go last time you left your town or city? Uh, the vets I think.

Do you use emojis? Sometimes.

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? Yeah, when I was younger.

What percentage of battery does your phone currently have? 25%.

What was the last type of soda you drank? Pepsi Max.

How far away from your house is your favourite place to shop for clothes? About an hours' drive.

Do you have supplies handy right now to draw something if I told you to? Yes.

Have you ever been married? I've been married for just over five years.

What does your deodorant smell like? Berries.

Is your bedroom more messy or clean at the moment? My side is clean, Mike's is messy.

Do you use Twitter? No.

Are you any good at baking cakes and cookies from scratch? I'm not bad at it, I just don't enjoy it.

Is there a floor lamp in your bedroom? No.

What does most of your weekly or fortnightly income go towards? Savings/long-term investments.

Have you ever been to another continent? Yeah, Asia, Australasia and North America. I live in Europe.

Do you have any hidden piercings? (this includes bellybuttons) Yeah, but I don't wear any jewellery in it.

What month is your birthday? December.

What can you hear right now? The Simpsons. I'm watching all the Treehouse of Horror episodes.

[mrschwartz]

this semester i'm taking a class about cinema where every week we watch a different film. this week (oct 15 to oct 21) we had to watch a clockwork orange. hold that thought

alex has been saying how sculptures of anything goes came about because jamie wired a drum machine to a moog synthesizer, right? i had never heard of a moog synthesizer until a couple weeks ago when he started talking about it but now i know what it is. great!

so back to clockwork. i watched the film and then i went to watch a bunch of videos about it on youtube, and when of them was talking about the film's score they said "there's a lot of classical music in a clockwork orange but lots of it are modified with a moog synthesizer" and i was like what. what a coincidence, this information would've flown right over my head like last week. called it a crazy coincidence and moved on

and so, in addition to watching a bunch of videos in preparation for my class, i also read a few texts that my professor recommended, and one of them said something like "after 2001: a space odyssey kubrick was set on making a film about napoleon's biography, but received minimum encouragement and that's when working on a clockwork orange as his next project came into the picture"

but then. like on the next day radiox's track by track interview came out and the interviewer asked alex what "lego napoleon movie" meant and he answered that he liked the idea of the possibility of the people that make the lego movies taking kubrick's unused script and ideas for his napoleon film and turning it a lego movie. so again. fucking WHAT. what are the chances. this comment would've meant nothing to me like the day before. but having read a text for college gave me context for it

listening to arctic monkeys and watching their interviews enhanced my experience of watching a clockwork orange by giving me a better understanding of it, and watching a clockwork orange and looking for analytical material of it enhanced my experience of listening to arctic monkeys by giving me a better understanding of them. just because i did both on the same span of two weeks

[whisperlullaby]

Concentrated Sunlight

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, some angst (?) maybe a curse or two

Word Count:  1362

Summary: Steve Rogers owns a flower shop and is smitten with a regular customer. What happens when he finds out she has a boyfriend?

A/N:  This was done for @syntheticavenger​‘s challenge! It was a lyric prompt  “ If I told you that I loved you, tell me what would you say?” (The Neighbourhood ‘The Beach’) And I made up a little flower shop AU to go along with it! I want to thank @syntheticavenger​ for reading my story and @river-soul​ for hyping me up to post this! This is my first EVER fanfic for any fandom and the first time I am publishing my work anywhere. If I forgot any warnings let me know!

Friday, 4:00,  like clockwork you walked into Steve Rogers flower shop. The sunflowers always seemed to lean into you when you passed their cooler. You had been coming every Friday to pick up what you called “weekend flowers” for 6 months now and simply knowing you were coming seemed to make the weeks go by a lot faster. 

“Hey Steve! Got anything fresh this week?” you teased. You knew he went to the wholesale market daily to make sure each arrangement held the freshest flowers. You had asked about it the third time you came into the shop and he made it a point to tell you about his daily trips to the wholesale market. What he didn’t tell you was that he made a point of going 6 months ago when you started coming in, just in case you needed flowers any other day of the week.

“Hey doll, got some orange dahlia’s that look pretty good. Wanna take a look?” He moved towards the cooler that held the special find. Orange was your favorite. He noticed how you always seemed to pick out orange day lilies, poppy’s, marigolds, and orange Gerber daisies. There weren’t many impressive orange flowers so when Steve found eye catching ones at the market he would always buy them out of stock.

“No, actually, I’m not picking up flowers for me today.” You paused and looked at Steve who seemed to stiffen. “I’m meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time tonight and I think they prefer white flowers with lots of green filler, maybe roses? I don’t know though, do you have anything a bit more traditional?” You shifted around to where Steve stood at the cooler a bit nervously. You loved his flower shop and didn’t want to go anywhere else, but admitting to needing something to bring to another man's family seemed unsettling. 

Steve’s face visibly dropped and his hand white knuckled on the cooler door. You had a boyfriend. Of course you did. You were concentrated sunlight, even the flowers noticed. Each bloom always opened up a bit more when you were around. He knows he sure as hell did. “You have a boyfriend? How long have you guys been together?” His voice threatened to break, and his grip on the coolers handle somehow tightened. 

“Not long really, about a month? My co-worker kind of set it up, thought we would be a good fit. I’m not sure though it seems to be going a bit fast. Isn’t it a bit soon to meet the family? We’ve only been on a handful of dates. I'm not even sure why I agreed to it.” You mumbled while chewing your lip raw. Your eyes were looking all around the shop until they finally landed on Steve. “Are you okay Steve? You seem a bit flushed. Maybe you should sit down.” You moved to grab Steve's hand off the handle. He immediately relaxed at your gentle touch. You led him to the back office where he could sit while the color came back to his face. “Can I get you some water? Or do you have anything to snack on back here?”

“Don’t go. Tonight. To meet his family.” Steve spat out breathlessly. He couldn’t let you go. You said so yourself that it was only a handful of dates and you thought it was moving too fast. Surely there was a reason you hesitated, right? He had to say something, anything to get you to get your orange dahlia’s and stay for a few hours. He loved your Friday afternoon conversations and the thought of those coming to an end made him nauseous. He didn’t enjoy anyone’s company more than yours, you had to know that by now.

“Steve what are you talking about? I already agreed to go, what will they think of me if I cancel at the last minute without a reason?” You were fidgeting with your hands unsure why you cared what they thought of you. You knew very little about the guy as it was, he wasn’t much of a talker. He wasn’t much of anything really, but he was polite and punctual. When he asked you to go to dinner with him at his parents house you felt your brain start to cloud over. You had just taken a sip of the bitter coffee he had ordered for you when he dropped that bomb. What were you going to do, say no? You were caught off guard! He was a perfectly lovely person. Just not the one you had your eye on.  

Steve could see your hesitation, he knew you were uncomfortable. He saw the way your eyebrows knit together and how you were fidgeting with your fingers. You only did that when you were unsure about something. You did the same thing when you were trying to decide between the peonies and the anemone’s after you had a hell of a week at work. He knew that you thought buying flowers for the weekend gave you more time to enjoy the colors. He knew that you moved here after cutting off ties with your family, looking for a fresh start you said. He knew you preferred tea to coffee but he knew you wouldn’t pass up a peppermint latte during the holiday season. He had to tell you how he felt, he couldn’t let you start this relationship with this guy without having you know how he felt about you. 

“If I told you that I loved you, tell me what would you say?”

You stared at Steve in shock. Your mouth hung open with a gasp. You had a huge crush on the town's florist but thought he was way out of your league. After that revelation you finally caved and said yes to your coworker’s attempt to set you up. You always did have a problem saying no to people and now it was biting you in the ass. Steve made your Friday flower shop visits the highlight of your week. He taught you so much about each flower and the day he told you that you reminded him of a peony in bloom you could have kissed him right there. You knew he preferred coffee to tea after the hour long debate one afternoon ending in you storming out only to bring back a chai tea for him. He said it smelled like bells of Ireland and you had to agree. You knew he was taking care of his mom after her stroke and he had a best friend named Bucky who used to get him both in and out of trouble. You stared into his crystal blue eyes full of hope and adoration. You brought your hand to his face and he sighed leaning into your warm touch.

“I would ask you what took so long.” You teased as he smiled. He grabbed the hand that was resting on his cheek and pulled you into him. You felt his soft lips kiss the top of your head and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. 

“So, how about I wrap up some orange dahlias and bring them by your place tonight.” You looked at Steve confused. “What? I don’t think you’re still planning on going to meet that guys family tonight and I want to take you to dinner. Call it a date”

You laughed incredulously shaking your head, “Ha I guess you’re right. Should have known it wouldn’t work out when he got picky with the flowers.” You spot a pen and paper on the desk and scribbled your address on the page. “Pick me up at 7:30 and don’t forget my weekend flowers.” You pulled away from Steve and headed towards the door.

Steve stared as you left his office with a cheshire cat grin. He walked back into the main store and grabbed every  available orange dahlia he had and closed up shop. He had a date to get ready for. 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 1: Flowers In The Window

Summary: Steven Grant Rogers, the dumb kid who was always too stubborn to run away from a fight, was never gonna allow a bunch of no-good low-lives to hassle a dame in the street, even if it was going to lead to him getting his ass kicked. For once, however, the ass kicking has an upside as the dame in question seemed particularly grateful, a fact she displays a few days later at the Stark Expo.

But it wasn’t the only encounter that fateful night that seemed set to change his life when Dr Erskine throws him a bone, meaning Steve can finally do the one thing he’s been desperate to do for years.

Join the army.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Nothing much… Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  So here it is…my take on what would have gone down so to speak should Katie have been part of the CA: TFA timeline and my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge. I’ll be trying to keep this fic as accurate to the time period and the movie as possible, just like with the other SS fics.  I really hope you enjoy this, there will be some creative license because, let’s face it, what is Fan Fic other than self-indulgence?

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

SSR Masterlist // Main Masterlist

June 1943

It started just the same as any normal Friday morning for Steven Grant Rogers. He unlocked the back of the Grocery Store on the corner of Berry Street in Brooklyn, using the entrance down the alley way reserved for staff. Once inside, he grabbed his beige coloured linen apron off the hook and smiled at the items he had to work with today. Fridays were always a treat as they took the rare delivery of freshly cut flowers ready to be sold for the weekend. This week there were boxes of bright white gardenias with their waxy petals and shiny, leathery dark green leaves, bunches of bright purple heliotrope which always reminded him of one of his mother’s scarves, and plenty of white, blue and purple asters. Steve bent down to take in the strong, vibrant fragrance of the gardenias, closing his eyes. It was easy to imagine he was in some garden somewhere, or even the middle of central park…not some little shop in Williamsberg.

“Don’t be inhaling enough of that to set your asthma off!” Mr Tromley, a kindly faced, portly man in his fifties greeted, and Steve turned to look at him, smiling a little shyly.

“I won’t Mr T,” he assured him, “they’re just so darn pretty…”

“Well set yourself a few aside.” Mr Tromley smiled, “you can take them home and sketch them.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” Steve protested, the way he always did when Mr Tromley tried to slip him something for free be it scraps of meat he couldn’t sell from the counter that would be given to dogs, bread that wasn’t as soft as it had been in the morning and would be fed to the birds, milk that was going to turn, cheese that was slightly past its best. Mr Tromley ignored all his protests though, usually threatening to sack Steve if he didn’t take it. The man knew what it was like to come from a hard background, which was part of the reason he’d taken a shine to that sickly, twenty-two year old orphan with a degree in fine arts that had come begging for a job some three years ago. He couldn’t pay him much but he could do other things to make sure he got by.

“Well if you don’t take ‘em Steve they’ll just end up withering and a-dyin’, so reckon you’d be doin’ em a kindness.” Mr Tromley shrugged “Now, my Ada has some coffee going, you want a cup before we open the doors?”

Steve glanced at the clock above the counter, more out of habit than anything as he knew full well that he arrived with an hour to go.

“Mr T that’d be swell.” He smiled.

“Okay, you get started and I’ll fetch it down.”

Steve began in the usual way, pulling some simple bouquets together, varying in size and price, ready for the busy men to pick up on their way home from work, a nice present for their dame’s for the weekend. Once the stalks and lower foliage were trimmed and stripped, he fastened and tied them in simple brown waxy paper using plain brown string. Steve always insisted on using plain wrapping as anything else would detract from the beauty of the flowers. He placed the finished bouquets into one of the green buckets of water Mr Tromley fetched from the back, before he then carefully and delicately trimmed down the remaining flowers before placing them loose in their own buckets according to type, ready for the ladies, and occasional gentleman, who had the time and desire to create their own bunches.

Impeccably organised, as ever, Steve finished his work fifteen minutes before the store was due to open. He then set about helping Mr Tromley as they arranged the buckets outside the shop window on the sidewalk, before they set up the other stalls of seasonal vegetables. There wasn’t much fruit to go by at the moment, but that was a sign of the times really. But what they did have, namely a selection of apples and oranges, they set those out ready too. Once that was done, Mr Tromley handed Steve a thick wedge of fresh bread which had been delivered that morning from the local bakery, along with some of his wife’s home-made jam which was sold from their shop. Steve took his breakfast with a mumbled thanks, averse to taking the daily handouts as ever, and Mr Tromley sighed.

“Steve, when are you going to realise that a piece of bread and jam for breakfast ain’t gonna bankrupt me?”

“I just don’t want to appear to take advantage, that’s all.” “Ah quit it.” Tromley waved his hand, shaking his head “If I didn’t want you to take advantage of it, I wouldn’t offer it would I? Now, eat that and get behind the counter.”

The morning passed much the same as they always did. A flurry of activity at opening, a steady stream of locals and regulars through to the usual peak of activity just before lunch. Like clockwork, Mr Tromley closed the doors bang on midday for an hour and Steve gathered his sketchbook along with the brown paper bag which contained his cheese and bread, and headed outside into the sun. At Mr Tromley’s instruction he selected an apple from the display and crossed the road avoiding the yellow cabs and cyclists and trams, taking up seat on the bench which sat directly opposite the shop front.  He chewed his lunch, washed it down with the tin bottle of lemonade that Mrs Tromley had filled for him earlier, and then once he had finished his apple he tossed the core over to a pigeon who instantly began pecking at it. He then untucked the pencil that was behind his ear, opened his sketchbook and resumed the detailed landscapes he was doing of the buildings surrounding the shop front. Drawing was his escape, something he did any chance he got. He dreamed one day of travelling the world, drawing all the different sights he could, but that was out of the question. Well, until he finally got into the army. With four failed attempts under his belt already, most men would have given up but not Steven Rogers. Stubborn, tenacious and plucky to a fault, he was already planning his next attempt at enlisting, this time he was going to hail from New Jersey. Well, as good a place as any.  

Steve glanced up, checking the detail of the window to the cobblers next door, and that was when he saw her, just walking down the sidewalk. She wore a red high-collared, cap sleeved tea-dress which flared out slightly from her hips and finished just below her knee. It was cinched in at the waist with a black belt, and was detailed round the hem and sleeve edges with pretty white lace. On her feet she wore a pair of simple, elegant black block heel courts with a T-bar buckle. Her hair was a silky, shiny chestnut which hung around her face in bouncy waves and she had a soft, gentle profile with high cheekbones, slightly flushed cheeks and ruby lips. She stopped outside the shop, examining the flowers with a smile, and then she looked up at the shop door and saw the CLOSED sign in the window. She can’t be from around here, Steve thought to himself, everyone in the neighbourhood knew when Tromley closed his doors and opened them, you could set your watch by it. Still, she hung around, softly picking up a gardenia and holding it to her nose, smiling to herself as she inhaled.

Steve found the innocent act breath-taking. He felt a little, well, shameful in a way, to be watching her so, intruding on what was clearly a private moment but he couldn’t help it. She was beautiful, grace personified, and he felt a little sad as she replaced the flower, gave the buckets one last look, before she continued on her way. Steve sighed, wishing to God that the shop had been open, it would have given him an excuse to maybe see her a little more closely. Perhaps talk to her. Or not as the case maybe, Bucky was always telling him how useless he was when it came to striking up conversations with ladies. But, for now, he had to settle for watching her walk away. Only he wasn’t the only one.

“Hey pretty thing…” Steve heard a voice and turned to his left where a group of men, most likely in their late teens or early twenties, had spotted her. As Steve watched he saw one of them push himself off the lamppost he’d been leaning on and cross the street towards her. The lady stopped, looking at him with her eyebrow raised. He spoke to her again, Steve couldn’t hear the conversation but a smile tugged at his lips as the lady looked the boy up and down, disdain etched all over her pretty face before she shook her head and laughed. She made to move past the kid but he reached out and grabbed her arm.

And Steve just couldn’t help himself.

“Hey!” He called, jumping up and hurrying across the street. “Let the lady go.”

“Back off, this has nothing to do with you.” The man rounded on him, looking at him before he snorted at Steve’s stature. “Besides, what you gonna do about it anyway? Runt.”

Steve took a deep breath, he was used to people looking down their noses at him, both figuratively and literally. That was part and parcel of being only five foot four inches tall. He also knew that at hundred pound give or take, he didn’t cut a formidable figure either, but he was damned if he was going to let this bully manhandle a dame in the middle of the street.

The woman wrenched her arm away from the man’s grip and glared at him, furious green eyes bored into his as she snorted and looked the guy up and down. “He’s clearly twice the gentleman you’ll ever be. Didn’t your mother ever teach you basic, good manners jack ass?”

“What did you just say?” a sudden darkness crossed the man’s face as he looked down at the woman who stood, un-yielding, clutching her purse as it hung around her shoulder.

“You heard me, well unless you’re deaf as well as ugly.” She shrugged slightly. At that Steve really couldn’t hold his face straight anymore and he felt the side of his lips curl up into a smirk. He was sure the pretty dame’s eyes flickered to his but he must have imagined it as when he stole a glance back at her she was staring straight back at the man who’d been giving her the trouble.

“Mouthy little broad you ain’t ya?” He snarled.

“Show some damned respect.” Steve shot out, and this time the man rounded on him. Steve stood stock still, his mother’s words echoing clearly in his head- you start running, they’ll never let you stop and he was aware in his peripheral that the other 2 men who’d been observing until now were starting to circle like sharks who had just had their first taste of blood.

He braced himself, ready for the inevitable fight, legs slightly apart, hands balling into fists by his side. But it was no use. He was never going to be fast enough or strong enough for one of these guys, let alone three, and as the fist connected with his face he heard a scream and a yell as he fell backwards into the display of oranges and apples which he had lovingly helped Mr T prepare before.

Steve staggered to his feet, readying himself for another hit but it didn’t come. Instead one of the guys was sent sprawling to the ground besides him, shortly followed by the other. He wheeled round to see Bucky had the one that was left standing pinned up by the collar against the brick wall to the side of the shop and Mrs T was on the door step brandishing a broom handle, a string of Italian expletives leaving her mouth.

“Get outta here!” Bucky shoved the one that he was holding harshly into the road where he narrowly avoided colliding with the side of a yellow cab. Then turns to Steve and pulls him up.

“Seriously?” Bucky groaned and Steve shook his head, dusting himself down “You pick a fight with three at once?”

“He didn’t pick a fight with any of them.” A soft voice spoke and both Steve and Bucky turned to look at the dame in the red dress who was dusting herself down as her eyes flitted from Bucky, to Steve, then back again. “He came to help me when one of those bozos was getting a little too familiar.”

“That’s Stevie, a regular Knight in shining armour.” Bucky ruffled Steve’s hair as he gave an exasperated sigh, pushing himself away from his best friend. “Especially when there’s a beautiful dame involved.”

 The lady looked at Bucky, arching an eyebrow before she looked back at Steve and he gulped slightly as for the first time he took her in properly. There was nothing else to say other than she was drop dead gorgeous. Deep green eyes that sparkled like emeralds looked back at him from a heart shaped face, nose speckled with freckles which twitched a little as she smiled revealing a row of perfectly straight, white teeth

"I guess I should thank you Stevie." She spoke, and Steve felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"It was nothing...I just.." he stopped dead as she reached out and straightened his tie, long eyelashes blinking against his cheeks as she smoothed over his shoulders and dropped a kiss to his cheek.

"My hero"

Steve swallowed and looked at the woman as she stepped back, smiling at him.

“I err, it was…my pleasure.” Steve stuttered and the lady arched an eyebrow, a grin on her face.

“Interesting choice of words.”

“I mean, not pleasure, obviously. No one likes seeing a beautiful dame getting hassled, I mean woman, not that…” he shook his head, as Bucky nudged him. He was rambling, as per usual. “I err, I should…”he gestured to the shop as Mr and Mrs Tromley were now looking at the mess of fruit all over the floor.

“I’m sorry about that.” She turned to the shopkeepers who looked at her, Mrs Tromley waving her away.

“Not your fault, dear.”

“Can I at least buy some of the flowers?”  She asked, a little shyly. “That is what I actually wanted to do after all.”

“Of course, Steven, can you…” Mr T nodded to Steve and then his eyes fell on Bucky “James Buchanan Barnes, what are you doing here?”

“Got a week or so’s furlough, Mr T and Ma sent me for some stuff, I gotta list.” he nodded, fishing it out of his pocket.

Tromley took it from him, scanned it and then turned to walk into the shop, beckoning for Bucky to follow him. Steve’s eyes followed his friend’s broad back as Bucky paused in the doorway and stopped, turning back to the woman. Steve groaned inwardly, he knew that face, Bucky was about to turn on the charm and she was no doubt going to fall in a pool at his feet, just like most of the other girls in the neighbourhood.

“You’re not from round here, right?” Bucky asked.

“What makes you say that?” She countered with a question of her own, looking Bucky up and down as she spoke.

“Never seen you before.”

“Know all the girls in Brooklyn, do you James Buchanan Barnes?” She asked, and Bucky gave a chuckle as she repeated his name to him and winked.

“Only the pretty ones.” “Well I suppose with most men joining the army the moment, even the pretty ones can’t be choosers.”

At that Steve let out a snort of laughter as Bucky blinked in surprise. “Ouch.” He gave a little scoff and shake of his head before he turned to walk into the shop.

“He always like that?” The lady looked at Steve who took a deep breath and smiled a little.

“Yes Ma’am. And to be honest it normally works.” Steve glanced at Bucky before he looked back at the woman who was looking at him, her eyes twinkling. “Most girls just can’t seem’ta say no!”

“Well, I’ll let you into a secret.” She grinned and leaned closer to Steve. “I’m not like most girls.”

Steve swallowed again, nervously brushing a hand through his hair as she straightened up and smiled at him. “I’m Katie by the way, seems only fair you know my name seeing as I know yours.”

“I err, that’s a pretty name.” Steve smiled and then inwardly cursed himself again.

Pretty name? Really? That’s the best you can do?

“Thank you.” She giggled, and then she turned to the buckets “So errr, do you wanna make me a bouquet Steve? Something pretty for my room.”

Glad of the distraction, Steve nodded and turned to the various bunches of flowers. “I err, I noticed you were admiring the gardenias, so…” “You were watching me?” she spoke and Steve looked at her, ready to start protesting that wasn’t what he’d been doing when he spotted the glint in her eyes and he shook his head giving a sigh. She grinned “I love gardenias, lilies are my favourite but gardenias are pretty too.”

“Yeah we don’t have any lilies, unfortunately.” Steve shrugged “They were my Ma’s favourite too.”

Steve set about gathering a generous bunch of flowers as she instructed him to make it a large bouquet and then she followed him into the shop where he wrapped them in brown paper and string as Bucky was leaning against the counter, chatting to the Tromleys, Mrs Tromley laughing loudly at something he’d said.

“You are a cad, Bucky Barnes!” She looked at him, shaking her head “Isn’t it bad enough you joined the army? You’ll give your ma a heart attack one of these days.”

Bucky shrugged “It wasn’t so bad, he never caught me. Even on a bum ankle I was faster.”

“You been caught in places you shouldn’t be again Buck?” Steve looked at him and he shrugged, grinning.

“You know me, Stevie!”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Steve rolled his eyes before he tied off the bouquet with the string and then handed it to Katie. She smiled.

“You have talented hands.” She spoke gently and Steve flushed once more, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, he’s good with them.” Bucky spoke and Steve glared at him. Katie turned to look at Bucky again, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Makes a change, in my experience most men don’t know the first thing about how to use them.”

Mrs Tromley choked a little on her coffee as she looked at the younger woman, flashing her a wink. Katie bit her lip, her mouth curling up into a small smile as she rummaged in her purse, pulling out a small leather wallet.

“How much do I owe you?”

“No charge.” Mr Tromley spoke suddenly but Katie shook her head.

“I insist, I was responsible for your display getting trashed, least I can do is pay for these.”

“Oh trust me,” Mr Tromley smiled, “seeing you put that toe-rag into them was worth it.”

“Yeah, you had some pretty vicious moves for a dame.” Bucky looked at her and she shrugged as Steve frowned.

“Wait, you…” “Don’t look so surprised.” Katie smiled “A girl should always know how to defend herself. But if I’m honest, it’s always nice to have a man do it for you.”

At that she smiled and slapped some money down on the counter, stepping back. “Keep the change in insist.”

Mr Tromley looked at her, then at the note, his mouth falling open a little.

“Thank you again Steve.” She picked up the bouquet. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“I hope so, I mean…yeah…come back soon.”

She smiled and with a final look in his direction she left, the bell ringing as the door opened and shut behind her. There was a pause until Bucky turned to Steve.

“Come back soon?” he looked at him “Really? That’s the best you could do?”

Steve groaned. “Piss off Bucky.” He shot, giving a yelp as Mrs T swatted at his head.

“Language, Steven!” She scalded, as Mr T chuckled and slid the money she’d left to Steve across the counter. Steve blinked and looked at it, before he shook his head. Mr Tromley glared at him.

“You don’t take that you’re fired.”

With a groan Steve folded the $5 note up and slid it into the pocket of his slacks. Mrs Tromley muttered something about going to check on her scones which were in the oven upstairs and Mr Tromley headed into the back, leaving Steve and Bucky alone.

“You know, that dame was practically begging for you to ask her out on a date.” Bucky picked up the paper bag containing the groceries he had come for and Steve looked at him, snorting.

“You’re joking right?” the smaller man shook his head “Dame’s like that don’t want a guy like me.” “Clueless.” Bucky shook his head “Absolutely fucking clueless.” Steve watched him head to the door, before he stopped and turned back. “Oh that reminds me. Ma’s expecting you about 6 for dinner. She’s making meatloaf and told me that if you refuse she’s gonna, and I quote.” Bucky cleared his throat and spoke in a light, airey impression of his Ma, “march round to his house and drag him outta that apartment by his ear.”

Steve rolled his eyes well naturedly. He hadn’t been to the Barnes’ for dinner for a week so he wasn’t surprised Winnie had sent Bucky with an invitation that was more of an instruction than anything. “Okay, thanks Buck.”

Bucky gave him a salute before he headed out of the store, whistling to himself. Steve took a deep breath, shook his head and turned back to his work, pushing all thoughts of the stunning young woman in the red dress out of his mind.

*****

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” She taunting voice of his opponent rang in Steve’s ears as he staggered to his feet. This wasn’t how he’d planned his trip to the movie theatre going, not one iota. But when the loudmouthed asshole had done nothing but show total disrespect to those fighting overseas as the infomercial was showing, his temper had gotten the better of him and once more had led to him getting into a fight. As far as Monday’s went, this one was pretty crappy.

Which of course he could never walk away from.

“I can do this all day.” Steve huffed, swinging his fist at the guy again. The jerk easily blocked Steve’s feeble punch with his arm, delivering a huge jab with his left which sent Steve sprawling straight into the side of the trashcan from which he’d picked up the lid before. As Steve lay dazed, he heard a familiar voice breaking through the fog.

“Hey! Pick on someone your own size.” Bucky yanked the guy backwards by his jacket, shoving him a little down the alleyway. The guy swung at Bucky who dodged it almost lazily, before delivering a punch of his own, placing a firm boot up the guys ass as he retreated hurriedly. Watching as he scooted away, Bucky turned to Steve who was stood with his hands on his knees, steadying himself.

“Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.”

“I had him on the ropes.” Steve replied, pressing the heel of his palm to the cut above his eyebrow, wincing a little from the various blows he’d taken.

Bucky said nothing, instead he bent down to pick up the enlistment form that had fallen from Steve’s pocket and with a sigh he glanced at it.

“How many times is this?” His eyes scanned the information and he arched an eyebrow “Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?”

Steve ignored him, and then for the first time looked up at his friend to see him stood tall in his full army uniform. Which could only mean one thing. “You get your orders?” he frowned a little.

“The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.”

Steve sighed, great. Just what he needed to hear. “I should be going.” He shook his head dejectedly.

Bucky looked at him sympathetically before he smiled, and looked an arm round his shoulder, pulling him closer in a friendly gesture as they both began to head back down the alley towards the main road.

“Come on, man, it’s my last night! Gotta get you cleaned up.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“The future.” Bucky handed Steve the newspaper he was holding. Steve opened it to see the ad for the World Exposition Of Tomorrow.

“Buck…” he began to protest but Bucky stopped him.

“Seriously? My last night before I ship off to bust Nazi’s and you’re already tryin’a bail?”

“No, I just…” “Stevie!” Bucky whined. “Since I got my draft last September, I’ve hardly seen you other than when I’ve been home…”

“I know, but…” “No buts, man! I mean who knows when I’m gonna see you again now I’m actually being sent into combat and not just back to Camp McCoy. You know, London is a little further afield than Wisconsin “

“I’m well aware of that.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“So come on! Let’s go, have some fun. Cut loose a little. It’ll do you good.”

Steve looked up to see Bucky’s eyes shining with mischief, his handsome face grinning at him and he rolled his eyes “Fine, but you’re buying the hotdogs.”

“What else is new?” Bucky grinned, grabbing Steve in a headlock and ruffling his hair a little.

“Jerk.” Steve said furiously, pushing him away.

*****

A couple of hours later the two of them entered the Expo, Steve taking in the sights around him. It was crazy busy, a buzz of excitement around the air and it was hardly surprising. Howard Stark, the guy at the centre of it all was somewhat of a celebrity. He’d founded his company some four years ago at the age of twenty-two, and it had grown from strength to strength, with numerous pioneering technological advances to his name. Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little excited to see the latest and no doubt flamboyant invention the guy had come up with, but his mind was still on his failed Army application, the feeling of inadequacy exacerbated even more by the fact Bucky was going to be leaving him behind to serve his country, something that Steve felt he should be doing right along with his best pal.

Sensing his brooding nature, Bucky nudged him and opened his mouth no doubt to make some wise crack, but Steve shook his head.

“Buck, just don’t”

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Bucky shook his head as they wandered down the steps towards the main pavilion area “You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York.” Bucky grinned, and Steve sighed heavily. Yup, there it was. “You know, there’s three and a half million women here.”

“Well, I’d settle for just one.” Steve muttered and Bucky grinned, Steve allowing a little smile to spread across his face at his own joke.

“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky grinned and waved to two girls, a blonde and a brunette, who stood a few feet away and Steve stopped dead as one of the girls waved back, calling out to Bucky.

Great, here we go again.

“What did you tell her about me?” Steve groaned. “Only the good stuff.” Bucky smirked as they walked towards the girls, Steve brushing his hand through his hair, making sure it was as tidy as he could.

Bucky introduced the girls as Connie and Bonnie. It was obvious from the start that Connie was the one Bucky was trying his luck with, although to be fair Bonnie might as well have been with Bucky too for all the attention she paid to Steve. As they wandered into the Pavilion, Steve stopped to purchase a bag of sweets before he followed on behind the other 3, glancing around at the various exhibits.

“Welcome to the Modern Marvels Pavilion and the World of Tomorrow.” The expo announcer spoke “A greater world. A better world.”

There was a little bit of murmuring from people in front of them as they stopped, glancing at the large stage in front of them which was currently dark, but then there was movement, music struck up and Connie grabbed Bucky’s arm in excitement.

“Oh, my God! It’s starting!” She squealed and yanked on Bucky’s hand, pulling him closer. As Steve stood behind them he saw the stage light up to reveal a row of women all dressed in black and white striped waistcoats, short jackets and top hats. One of them walked across the front of the stage, smiling as she spoke into a microphone

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!”

Smooth and cool as a cucumber, Howard Stark strode onto the stage, taking off his top hat, whilst he smiled, handing it to the announcer before kissing her as the crowd cheered. Howard smirked a little, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket which he used to dab at his mouth before he addressed his audience.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” at that point Steve held the small paper bag over towards Bonnie who looked at it, then him, almost scathingly as Howard continued his speech. “What if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all?”

“You know…” A vaguely familiar voice spoke and Steve looked up from where he had been examining his bag of bonbons, wondering what was wrong with them, to see the woman from the shop a few days ago, Katie stood to the side of Bonnie. She was dressed in a simple grey dress which sported a pencil style skirt, with a light blue cardigan covering her shoulders. “When a gentleman offers you a sweet and you don’t want one, there’s really no need to be such a rude bitch about it.”

Her eyes were narrowed as she gave Bonnie a scathing look. Bonnie floundered a little as Katie reached out, dipping her red nailed, manicured hand into the paper bag and taking a bonbon. In doing so, she jostled Bonnie forward a little with her elbow, and turned to the stage, popping the bonbon in her mouth, giving Steve a little wink. Steve felt his cheeks flush as Bucky turned, his attention drawn to the slight scuffle behind him. He saw Katie stood next to Steve and he grinned.

“Hey Dollface!” Katie turned her head and looked at Bucky as Steve rolled his eyes. However, just like at the shop, she payed Bucky no attention other than a flick of her eyebrow, before her eyes moved back to the stage, Steve doing the same to see that Stark was now stood by some sort of podium.

“With Stark robotic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” Howard spoke, and with that he turned to fiddle with a few switches on the podium and the car started to hover ever so slightly off the ground. Steve felt his mouth drop open in awe as in front of him Bucky let out an astonished mumble.

“Holy cow!”

But he spoke too soon, as the jets making the car hover suddenly malfunctioned and the car fell back onto the stage with a loud crash, sparks flying out round it.

Bucky turned to look at Steve, smiling as Steve’s eyebrows raised, and besides him, Katie gave a snort.

“I did say a few years, didn’t I?” Howard laughed, leaning on the bonnet of the car.

“Few years my ass.” Katie mumbled and Steve looked at her.

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “Listen, I gotta go-”

“Oh, ok.” Steve tried not to sound disappointed but Katie smiled at him softly, cutting him off.

“Meet me at the Cider cart in an hour.”

“I err…” Steve stuttered, before he frowned. “You sure, you wanna meet me?”

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t have said so.” Katie grinned. “One hour, don’t you dare be late.”

“Yeah, an hour, got it.”

Not quite able to believe his luck, Steve watched her go, smiling to himself before he glanced around and his eyes stopped on the familiar Uncle Sam poster pointing at him, with an arrow directing him to a recruitment centre. What the hell, he had nothing to lose…and an hour was plenty of time. Decision made, he followed the signs and jogged up the steps into the building, pausing to take a look around as people were milling in the carpeted hallway.

“Come on soldier!” a woman giggled at her male company, pulling him away from a mirror making him look like a soldier. Once he was gone Steve stepped in front of the mirror but he was too short to fill out the face. His shoulders slumped and then suddenly, a strong hand gripped his right and Bucky chuckled.

“You’re kind of missing the point of a double date.” He said, shaking his head as Steve stepped away, turning to face him “We’re taking the girls dancing.”

“You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you.” Steve replied, hands dropping into his pockets.

“What, you had a better offer? From Dollface?”

“Her name is Katie.”

“Oh my God I’m right!” Bucky laughed. “Good for you, Punk!”

Steve rolled his eyes and then watched as a man strode past him in an Army Uniform and when Steve looked back at Bucky, his friend’s face now sported an exasperated expression as he’d clearly realised what Steve was planning. “You’re really gonna do this again?”

“Well, it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.” Steve answered with a little shrug.

“As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you.” Bucky’s voice was frustrated and Steve gave a little smile.

“Look, I know you don’t think I can do this, but I’m more-“

“This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war!” Bucky cut him off.

“I know it’s a war. You don’t have to tell me that-“ “Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.” “What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal-“

“Yes!”

“-in my little red wagon?”

“Why not?”

“I’m not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky.” Steve argued, shaking his head.

“I don’t…” Bucky protested once more and Steve cut him off.

“Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”

“Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.” Bucky said gently and Steve took a deep breath. But before Bucky could say anything else Connie called out to him.

“Hey, Sarge! Are we going dancing?”

Bucky turned back to the girls, his arms held out to the side. “Yes, we are.” With that he turned back to Steve, shaking his head a little, his shoulders slumped in resignation. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” He instructed as he started to walk away.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Steve shot back and Bucky shook his head, giving a snort.

“You’re a punk.” He walked back towards Steve and hugged him goodbye.

“Jerk” Steve said gently slapping Bucky’s back. “Be careful.”

With a pang of sadness, Steve watched his best friend walking away, not quite sure when they’d see each other again, if indeed ever. He licked his lips and then called out to Bucky once more. “Don’t win the war till I get there!”

Bucky stopped and saluted him before he strode down the steps, “Come on girls. They’re playing our song.”

With a deep breath, Steve headed into the recruitment centre, past an older gentlemen in a brown suit. He was given the usual forms to fill out, this time going with Ohio as his place of birth-thanks for that one, Buck- and he was shown to the medical examination room. After the short physical was over, he was just fastening the sleeves of his long shirt up again when a nurse walked into the room and whispered something inaudible to the doctor.

“Wait here.” The Doctor turned to him, moving to the curtain.

“Is there a problem?” Steve asked, frowning a little.

“Just wait here.” The doctor repeated his instruction before he walked out.

Steve paused for a second, glancing over his right shoulder at a sign warning against lying on enlistment forms before he glanced at the curtain, cold dread filling him. Shit, Bucky was right, they’d caught up with him. Jumping down off the bed he sat heavily in a chair and began to pull on his shoes when someone entered the cubicle. He glanced up and saw a Military Police officer looking at him and he swallowed a little nervously. But before he could say anything another man entered, the man Steve had walked past about forty minutes or so previously in the foyer, and he was clutching a file in his hands.

“Thank you.” The man spoke to the Police Officer who left, pulling the curtains closed behind him. Steve watched as the man turned to face him, his hands behind his back. “So, you want to go overseas.” The man pulled the file from behind him, opening it “Kill some Nazis.”

“Excuse me?”

“Dr. Abraham Erskine.” The man closed the folder and walked over as Steve stood up, shaking his hand “I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve.”

“Steve Rogers” Steve nodded, noting the man’s accent as he placed the file on the medical bed and started to look through it. “Where are you from?”

“Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany.” He adjusted his glasses as he glanced at Steve “This troubles you?”

“No.” Steve replied honestly, shaking his head.

“Where are you from, Mr. Rogers?” Erskine asked, resting both his hands on the bench “Mmm? Is it New Haven? Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities.”

“That might not be the right file.” Steve began to try and get out of whatever trouble he was in but Erskine was quick to cut him off.

“No, it’s not the exams I’m interested in. It’s the five tries.” Erskine closed the file, picking it up “But you didn’t answer my question.” He strode over and stopped in front of Steve “Do you want to kill Nazis?”

Steve glanced to the side before he looked at Erskine “Is this a test?”

“Yes.” The man replied bluntly and Steve took a deep breath, before he answered as honestly as he could.

“I don’t wanna kill anyone.” He shook his head, raising his eyes to meet Erskine’s “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”

“Well, there are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what we need now is the little guy, huh?” Erskine smiled before he turned to leave “I can offer you a chance” he said, whipping the curtains open “Only a chance.”

Steve couldn’t believe his ears. Was this Doctor guy actually telling him he’d done it, that he’d finally made it into the army? He had no idea what the Strategic Science Reserve was, or why Erskine had questioned him so, but right now he didn’t care.

“I’ll take it.” He said, hastily grabbing his belongings and following Erskine out.

“Good.” Erskine placed the file down on the desk and picked up a stamp, before replacing it and reaching for another “So where is the little guy from, actually?”

Steve smiled “Brooklyn.”

Erskine smiled back, stamped the form before closing the file and handing it to Steve. “Congratulations, soldier.”

Steve hastily opened it up and did a double take as he saw the stamp was a 1A this time, not 4f. He let out a deep breath and glanced up to thank the man, but he’d already left.

“You’ll be sent your papers and instructions shortly” Another man spoke to him, taking the file off him and handing him back the recruitment slip. Steve nodded. “Be ready, the SSR are on a schedule.”

Steve nodded, before he was shown out of the room. Still in a daze he clutched the piece of paper in his hand and wandered back to the area where he’d left Bucky before. And then he remembered Katie.

Shit.

He hastily made his way outside the building and headed back to the pavilion, weaving his way through the crowds. He found the cider cart and saw her waiting, chatting to the man behind the counter, her brown hair hanging round her shoulders, rouged lips which curled up into a smile as she spotted him approaching.

“You’re late.” Katie looked at him and Steve flushed. “I was beginning to thing you’d stood me up.”

“I wouldn’t do that, my ma taught me better.” He gave her a small smile “I was just...” he waved his enlistment paper at her and she frowned a little

“You enlisted?”

He nodded “Yup.” “Wow.” Katie blinked, “Erm, congratulations, I guess. Is that the right word?”

“It is when you’ve tried and been rejected several times already.” Steve shrugged before he snorted “Story of my life.”

“That girl before was fuckin’ rude.” Katie’s eyes narrowed and Steve blinked at the profanity coming from her mouth before she rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact I swore means I’m gonna go to hell.” She snorted “If it does, then I got that particular ticket a long time ago.”

“Sorry, I was…” he took a deep breath. “For such a pretty woman you certainly…er…”

“Have a filthy mouth?” She asked and Steve snorted, shrugging as he looked away, his lips curling up into a crooked smile as he raised his eyebrows. She leaned closer to him, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered “You have no idea.”

Steve swallowed at the blatant innuendo causing her to laugh at him even more before she nudged him with her elbow “Come on soldier, what do you want to drink?”

Soldier…that was the second time in ten minutes he’d been called that, and Steve liked it much more coming from her. He watched her for a second before he realised he was staring and she jerked her head towards the stall.

“Cat got your tongue, Stevie?” She grinned and he took a deep breath. “What do you want?”

“Erm, an ale…please…hang on.” He began fishing in his pocket but Katie gently wrapped a hand around his wrist.

“No need.” She smiled, as the man behind the counter held out the ale for Steve along with a cup of cider for her. She took it with a thanks and smiled, taking a sip. “Put it on the tab, will you?”

The stall attendant snorted and nodded “Whatever you say, Katie.”

She turned away and started walking slowly over to an exhibit, Steve falling into step besides her.

“How does he know ya?” Steve asked. Katie looked at him as she swallowed a sip of her cider

“Because I work here,well, I do at the moment.” She smiled as Steve looked at her blankly “I helped organise this.” She waved her hand around.

“You work for Howard Stark?”

“In a fashion.” Katie shrugged. “Now come on, I’m not working now and I wanna see how everything looks.”

They walked around the expo grounds, taking in the sights and various attractions. Steve was surprised to find his awkwardness ebbing away with each minute he spent in Katie’s company. She was down to Earth, easy to talk to and made him feel comfortable about himself…although his good spirits might have also been due to the fact he’d finally made it into the army. His meeting with Dr Erskine had baffled him a little, all truth be told, but he’d liked the man. There was something about him that told Steve he could trust him, and Steve was normally a pretty good judge of character.

By the time they’d done pretty much a lap of the main area of the Pavillion, stopping to examine The Synthetic Man in great detail, Steve was surprised to find that he’d spent over an hour with a woman who hadn’t been seeking to lose him at the first opportunity, quite the opposite in fact. On more than one occasion he noticed men looking in her direction, then to his with puzzled expressions on their face, and he had to admit was it the other way round he’d also probably be slightly surprised to see them together. She was a good two inches taller than him, but he was used to that, she was pretty, vivacious…well out of his league all things considered. But she was good company, and he was thoroughly disappointed when they seemed to be heading back towards the place they’d started, signalling their time together was likely coming to an end.

“So, do you need to find Barnes or…” she looked at him and Steve chuckled.

“Er no, no. He’ll be busy.” Steve shrugged

“What, he just ditched you for those girls?” Katie frowned.

“No, not entirely. I ditched him, well, I went to join the army. He doesn’t approve.” Steve finished, explaining slightly.

“Approve of what?”

“Me signin’ up.

“Why not?”

“Doesn’t think I can cope.” Steve shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly a healthy kid so…”

“Well they let you in so you can’t be that bad.”

Steve wrinkled his nose and shook his head slightly. “Some doctor in there offered me a chance, what can I say? Said that there were so many big guys fighting, maybe they needed a little one.”

At that Katie stopped walking and looked at him. “Wait, it was a doctor that accepted you?”

“Yeah,” Steve frowned

“You mean one of the Medical Recruitment Officers?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Steve’s frown deepened “He was with some Scientific Division.” He looked at Katie, who was looking right back at him, her eyes wide “Wait, is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing, just surprised me a little, that’s all.” She looked around, as if she was searching for someone and Steve watched her, a little confused as she chewed her lip with an air of contemplation before she looked back at him, her green eyes locking onto his with a softness in them that made him go weak at the knees, well, weaker than normal. “Thank you for keeping me company tonight Steve, I had fun.”

“Me too.” He said earnestly. “Hey, if you want, I mean only if you want, we could maybe meet up again, you know, before I get my posting?” At that Katie’s face fell and Steve sighed, he’d blown it. She’d only asked him to accompany her round he expo out of politeness, duty even as a thank you for his intervention on the street a few weeks back, and now he’d put her on the spot. “It’s okay.” He started to back track. “I get that you’re probably busy and get asked that all the time…”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head “I’d love to go out with you Steve, but I leave town tomorrow. I’m needed back at, well, my other job.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve popped a shoulder up, trying to hide his disappointment. “Well, I err…good luck. With whatever that job is.”

Katie laughed. “It’s me who should be wishing you good luck, trust me.” She cocked her head before she took a deep breath. “Just remember Steve, the world needs men like you, be a shame if we lost you all in the war.”

At her compliment he felt himself once more flush, and the heat in his neck rose even more as she leaned down and pressed her lips softly to his cheek. She pulled back a little, locking her eyes onto his and he swallowed, the lump in his throat now only rivalled by the one he was starting to feel in his slacks. And then, he had no idea how it happened but her lips were suddenly pressed to his. He froze momentarily, but then he went with his instinct and mirrored her movements, his eyes fluttering closed. Her hands gently curled over his shoulder, his automatically falling to her hips, shaking a little against the fabric of her dress as the kiss deepened slightly, the warm edge of her tongue flicking at his lips. He parted his mouth a little, allowing her to curl her tongue against his, a movement that made him shudder and he was beyond disappointed when she pulled away. She smiled against his mouth, her nose bumping his slightly as his cheeks felt hotter than the sun. He knew he was blushing, furiously, having just had his first proper kiss in the middle of a huge exhibition, but Katie seemed completely nonplussed as she smiled at him.

“For luck.” She whispered, stepping back slightly, before she turned and headed away, casting a glance back over her shoulder at him, flashing him another cheeky little wink. “See you around.”

Steve floundered a little, mouth gaping as he watched her disappear into the crowd, and with a final shake of his head and a deep, steadying breath he headed for the exit.

*****

 As it turned out Steve didn’t have long to wait for his posting at all. The following day he received his papers assigning him to Camp Lehigh in New Jersey as part of his recruitment to the SSR’s “Operation Rebirth” programme, whatever that was. He assumed he’d receive more details upon arrival. It wasn’t that which surprised him the most however, it was the date upon which he was ordered to report. Wednesday. As in, tomorrow. Whilst it didn’t give him much time to prepare, it didn’t bother him too much. He had meagre belongings anyways and anything he didn’t want to take with him he packed up into smaller boxes with the help of Bucky’s teenage sister Rebecca, Buck’s dad promising to keep it safe for him until he got back.

Winnie was beside herself when Steve broke the news that he too was enlisting, but she wished him well and made him promise to write. As did the Tromleys, who both took the news even worse than Bucky’s family had. Ada having first burst into tears then hugged him so hard he thought she was going to crush him half to death, whilst Mr Tromley had shook his hand and warned him that if he didn’t come back alive, with all 4 limbs, he’d kill Steve himself.

The morning rolled round ridiculously fast and both the Tromleys and Mr and Mrs Barnes insisted on seeing him off.  Once more Ada and Winnie hugged him tightly before Mr Tromley and Mr Barnes shook his hand, the latter promising Steve he would sort out everything with his landlord, taking the key to his small apartment in the tenement building where Steve had lived in all his life. Steve felt a little pang of emotion at that point, this was the last physical tie he really had to his mother but he took a deep breath letting it go slowly. She’d been dead now for seven years and anything that remained of hers in the building was all safely stored.

No, Steve had absolutely no doubts about what he was doing. This was all he had ever wanted, to follow in his father’s footsteps and so, at six am on the 16th June 1943 Steve Rogers boarded the Army bus that arrived at the bus station to take him and a number of other recruits to New Jersey, leaving the place he’d called home for his entire life behind.

**** Chapter 2

[gorture]

6, 8, 19, 20!

𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘  𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒   /    accepting    /    @confiinement 𝟲.  𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘  𝟯  𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦  𝗬𝗢𝗨  𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘  𝗠𝗢𝗦𝗧  𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧  𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥  𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗦.

WELL  a  lot  of  the  things  I  love  about  Ruvik  and  James  are  pretty  similar,    ironically.     They’re  in  my  top  three  favorite  characters  holy   ( or  unholy? )   trinity  for  a  reason. 1.)  I  love  their  depth;      James  is  such  an  ordinary,     everyday  guy  you’d  see  on  the  street  and  find  nothing  remarkable  about  him,    forgotten  by  next  week   —  yet  look  at  the  masterpiece  of  a  story  that  was  shaped  around  him.      Twenty  years  later  I  still  find  myself  thinking  about  the  machinations  of  his  tortured  mind.      Ruvik  on  the  other  hand  is  a  prodigy,     unforgettable  in  both  personality  and  appearance,     and  is  also  a  victim  of  trauma  and  grief   —  though  sadly,     he  also  becomes  a  perpetuator  of  both,    but  I’m  a  sucker  with  sympathy  for  the  devil,     and  as  someone  who  has  dealt  with  a  few  things  he  has,     I  can’t  help  but  feel  that  empathy. 2.)  The  nostalgia  they  invoke.      With  James,     Silent  Hill  2  was  one  of  the  very  VERY  few  things  in  fiction  that  managed  to  send  shivers  down  my  spine,      from  the  story  to  the  soundtrack  to  James  as  a  whole,      it  will  forever  be  with  me  and  is  just  as  powerful  now  as  it  was  to  me  as  a  child.      Even  though  The  Evil  Within  is  much  more  modern,     in  my  opinion  it’s  one  of  the  limited  modern  horror  games  that  was  actually  good,     with  a  compelling  story   —  Claire  de  Lune  gives  me  chills  as  a  result. 3.)    Character  design.      I’m  a  big  fan  of  horror,    and  especially  grotesque  visual  FX  and  body  horror.      Ruvik  is  the  epitome  of  that.      And  where  would  we  be  without  James’   iconic  green  jacket?

BONUS:    Writing  these  two  is  very  cathartic  for  me  for  various  reasons.

𝟴.  𝗗𝗢  𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥  𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦  𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘  𝗧𝗛𝗘  𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗧  𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪  𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥  𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬?

Other  than  my  boyfriend   ( who  also  rps! )   I  don’t  have  any  friends  LMAO.     However  an  old  school  friend  of  mine  did  briefly  on  Myspace  when  I  introduced  them to  it,    whether  they  still  do  or  not  I  don’t  have  a  clue.

𝟭𝟵.  𝗪𝗛𝗢  𝗜𝗦  𝗔𝗡  𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥  𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧  𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗦  𝗬𝗢𝗨?

Okay,     I  won’t  lie,     I’ve  read  very  little  fiction  in  my  life.     Last  things  I  read  were  over  ten  years  ago,    those  being  A  Clockwork  Orange  and  American  Psycho   ( which  just  so  happen  to  be  two  of  my  all  time  favorite  movies ).      Other  than  that  I  usually  read  stuff  on  medieval  torture,    biology,    and  surgery  LMAO.     But  I  will  say  Anthony  Burgess  has  one  hell  of  a  mind  for  coming  up  with  A  Clockwork  Orange;     I  have  respect  towards  any  author  who  can  invent  a  whole  new  language.    I  know  Nadsat  is  a  mix  of  Russian  and  old  Northern  English  so  it’s  more  hard  slang  than  anything,    but  still.      I’m  also  a  big  Junji  Itou  fan  for  obvious  reasons.

𝟮𝟬.  𝗗𝗢  𝗬𝗢𝗨  𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗  𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖 / 𝗡𝗢𝗜𝗦𝗘  𝗧𝗢  𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘  𝗢𝗥  𝗗𝗢  𝗬𝗢𝗨  𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗥  𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘?

Absolute  silence  UNLESS  the  music  is  purely  instrumental  and  not  ridiculously  upbeat.     Any  voice  be  it  in  person  or  in  music,     and  I  am  instantly  disrupted  and  thrown  off  my  train  of  thought.     If  someone  is  talking  to  me  then  rip  my  writing  groove.

[sambergscott]

you're my dream come true (aka the palm springs au 🏝)

Summary: Jake has lived this day a thousand times, and he's destined to live it a thousand more, stuck in an infinite time loop at a wedding in Palm fucking Springs, miserable and with a girl who doesn't love him. Then the Maid of Honor follows him into a cave.

for @nylesniall. thanks for putting up with me this week as i wrote this, thanks for being the one to encourage me to write it in the first place, and thanks again for letting me watch the movie with you at 5am. love you sm!!!

as this ended up being a ridiculous 17k words, this is only a snippet and the rest is on ao3 (also it *is* 17k words and was a helluva lot of work so pls do let me know what you think)

9:40 AM. November 9th. Rosa and Adrian’s Wedding. Rancho Calmado. Palm Springs, CA. “Wake up,” a familiar voice whispers. He opens his eyes immediately, a quick assessment confirming that, yes, he is still in the same bed, wearing the same blue t-shirt as the day before and has the same sinking feeling in his stomach that has become synonymous with his morning routine. A notification pings on his phone, reminding him that it’s November 9th, the day of the wedding. He slams it back on the nightstand, cracking the screen. He doesn’t need a reminder. In his world, it’s always November 9th. Jake has lived this day a thousand times, and he’s destined to live it a thousand more, stuck in an infinite time loop at a wedding in Palm fucking Springs, miserable and with a girl who doesn’t love him. At least he doesn’t have to do laundry. 

He rolls over and is greeted with the same sight as always, Sophia wrapped in a towel, her leg extended as she moisturizes. She got up early to do her hair and make-up and he grins, knowing that in a few short minutes she’ll be running back to the bridal suite, sweaty, her hair mussed and make-up ruined; it will be his fault that the wedding is late and the bride will shoot daggers at him as she walks down the aisle. Worth it. He’s gotta have some fun stuck in this nightmare. Plus, after seeing the ceremony he doesn’t know how many times, finding a million ways to disrupt it has become a bit of a pastime for him. “Good morning.” He knew she would say that, too. “That’s a good leg,” he responds automatically. And it is a good leg. He tells her so everyday. And everyday she puts down the moisturiser, declares “this is happening,” and practically jumps him. Once upon a time, he would’ve been thrilled. An equally enthusiastic participant in their pre-wedding hook-up. She’s beautiful and smart and smells amazing. She likes Die Hard and hot wings and playing ping pong and, for some reason he has yet to discover, sex with him. He sees the stares from the other dudes at the wedding, knows he is punching way above his weight, that he should be so lucky to date someone like Sophia Perez, and yet every morning he lies there as she rides him, staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing. He hasn’t felt anything for a while. She’s cheating on him with Terry, the super buff officiant that cries every time he pronounces his friends husband and wife. He found out on the original November 9th… years… maybe decades ago. He has no idea. Time is meaningless now. He has no annual holidays to mark it’s passing; no getting drunk on New Year’s and kissing strangers, no Halloween, Thanksgiving or Fourth of July. He’ll never light another candle on his mom’s Menorah. All he knows is that he caught her and Terry in this very room, ran off to the desert to cry, wandered into a glowing orange cave and now he’s stuck with her forever and ever, unable to break things off. No matter what he does, what he says or where he goes, he ends up right back here in their hotel room, admiring Sophia’s smooth, silky leg. He flips her over because his day is always easier if he makes her come and kisses down her body, putting that big mouth of his to good use. He knows exactly what she likes and smirks in satisfaction when she orgasms in record time. He initiates Round Two in the bathroom as she tries to fix her hair, more because he has nothing better to do than out of an actual desire to be with her, and afterwards when she’s running to the bridal suite to have her make-up redone, he pulls on his blue palm leaf Hawaiian shirt and matching blue shorts he wears everyday, his only decision whether or not he can be bothered to button it. 

Today, he cannot.

Jake heads for the pool and his beloved pizza-shaped float, bailing on Sophia and the ceremony. There’s only so many times you can hear two people you don’t care about compare their love to a Nancy Meyers’ movie before you want to kill yourself. He passed his limit a long, long time ago.

He climbs aboard the pizza, takes a sip of his beer, and, underneath the warmth of the Palm Springs’ sun, he relaxes.

If this was all there was to the time loop thing, floating on an inflatable pizza, drinking beer and humming his favourite Taylor Swift song, he’d be all in. No complaints. But despite the good, the no laundry, the pool, and the ability to hook up with anyone and everyone at the wedding without having to deal with any repercussions, it’s a lonely existence here on his own.

Well, not completely alone. He has Charles; a small, mild-mannered man who asks him how is day is, everyday, even though nothing in this time loop ever fucking changes.

“Today, tomorrow, yesterday, it’s all the same,” he recites from the standardised script of his life, rolling his eyes when Charles tells him to be positive, that anything could happen.

Like clockwork, the wedding guests clap and confetti catches in the gentle breeze. He pats his only friend on the shoulder and sails his pizza to shore, ready to get his party on.

read the rest on ao3!

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 41

A short film about love, .expanded Part Six of Krzysztof Kieślowski‘s Decalog. A shy, young man spies on his neighbor with a telescope, and inspite of his stalking, she is moved by his love to her.

What is the meaning of ‘Milk’, that apparently shows up in nearly all 10 parts of the series?

✴️       

Palm Springs - Again?!?!

Again! I think I am stuck in a time loop where I am destined to watch this movie every month!

And like the “dinosaurs on fantastic mushrooms” I am very pleased with that. (Photo Above)

✴️   

Night And Fog, a horrifying non-fiction short, directed by Alain Resnais about the Nazi concentration camps. Made on the tenth anniversary of the liberation of the camps, the horrors were still fresh. Unflinching look at extermination, unspeakable terror, genocide. I didn’t dare watch it before.

✴️        

5 from 1971:

✳️✳️✳️ ...”FOOD ALL RIGHT??”... 

Clockwork Orange, so shockingly horrific that Kubrick himself asked it to be withdrawn shortly after its premier. The Ultra Violence that exploded on the screen together with Wendy Carlos electronic score were indeed terrifying. I saw it originally in 1971. 8+/10

✳️✳️✳️ Mahler! Visconti! Bogarde! Thomas Mann! Death in Venice - Indulgent but tragic and gorgeous. Celebrated old composer Gustav von Aschenbach falls in love with Polish boy Tadzio, and chooses to perish just to be near him. 9/10

✳️✳️✳️ George Lucas and Walter Murch’s underground sci-fi THX 1138, a world-building experiment with Young Men/Film School vibes. Bold, original visuals with all-bald cast and constant 1984 messages in the background. Had it succeeded, there may have been a THX empire, instead of Star Wars.

I want to see a movie about first-time actress Maggie McOmie (who starred as LUH 3417 and) who chose not to play in any other film after that. 5/10

Plus 2 ‘Making of THX’ Extras:

- Bald, a short about the shaved heads.

- Artifact from the Future from 2004.

✳️✳️✳️ Nicholas Roeg’s second feature film, the "Back to Eden" allegory Walkabout, about two white schoolchildren who are lost in the Australian outback and who are helped by an aborigine teenage. I adored it when I saw it first many years ago,

“... Into my heart an air that kills From yon far country blows: What are those blue remembered hills, What spires, what farms are those? That is the land of lost content, I see it shining plain, The happy highways where I went And cannot come again...”

✳️✳️✳️ The French Connection, a humdrum crime story until exactly half way through when Popeye and Fernando Rey start playing cat and mouse on the train.  

✴️        

Roadrunner: A Film About chef-storyteller Anthony Bourdain. I read ‘Kitchen Confidential’ 20 years ago, but I never saw any of his TV appearances or shows. A big time celebrity who became mythological when he killed himself. Like Hemingway, Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, Aaron Swartz, Abbie Hoffman, my friend Danny, and other suicide heroes. In a way, it’s good he never got to be too old and boring.

But his 2 year old daughter was so so cute in the film. 6+/10

✴️       

2 with Swedish actress Karin Franz Körlof:

✳️✳️✳️ A serious Game, An obsessive love story from 1901 that ends in heartbreak and tragedy. 5/10

✳️✳️✳️ The Wife, brilliantly written by Jane Anderson, starts with two seventy year old writers having sex while they wait to hear if he won the Nobel Prize for literature. Glenn Close is magnificent as the loyal wife who lives in the shadow of her famous husband, unacknowledged as the only writer in the marriage.

Best film of the week. (Re-watch)

✴️     

Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away, one of the few CdS films. A thin story about a girl who falls in love with a trapeze artist at a traveling carnival show. But it opens up a chance to display acts from various Cirque shows: O, Mystère, Kà, Love, Zumanity, Etc. Pretty, but the 2D does not translate the live shows well.

However, unexpectedly and all of a sudden at half-point (at 0:42) they start playing “Black Bird” and it turns into a full-blown Beatles extravaganza (From their Beatles/Love show), and that makes it up for its flatness. 7/10

✴️                 

White Heat - Mommy’s boy, murderous psychopath and leader of the Jarrett gang, James Cagney, is the master criminal who ends up in a giant fireball “On top of the world”. Virginia Mayo here looked like 1940′s Jennifer Lawrence. 4/10

✴️    

3 X Francis Ford Copolla’s Re-watches:

✳️✳️✳️ ’”He’ll kill us if he got the chance...”

The Conversation, a complex character study about paranoia, and one of my personal Top 5 films ever. With the best 3-minute opening shot in film history, when right off the bat surveillance expert Harry Caul is himself being spied on from above. And the first close-up of him putting his lips to the Saxophone and starts playing, alone in his apartment, the last refuge from loneliness and guilt...  Another sound design masterpiece from Walter Murch. 10/10

I also love ‘Enemy of the state’, but that’s a different story.

✳️✳️✳️ Apocalypse Now, Coppola’s Wagnerian epic ‘Heart of Darkness’ folly, with many of his then-collaborators, Duval, Frederic Forrest, G.D. Spradlin(!), Harrison Ford, Walter Murch, Brando... As horrific as any other anti-war film.

✳️✳️✳️ The Rainmaker, Coppola’s well-made Memphis Courtroom Drama. with Matt Damon, made at the height of the John Grisham’s-Young-Lawyer-Fight-Evil-Corp. boom, and at the same year (1997) as 'Good Will Hunting'. 2/10

✴️       

Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen’s European wet dream fantasy, an escapade to a touristy Threesome romance. Young Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall meet parody of a Latin lover Javier Bardem.

The superficial flesh wound that the woman suffers after all her relationship turmoils echos the indulgent clichés of this story. Forgettable softcore vacation told in voice-over.

✴️                  

I liked the first season of Ted Lasso, and I even binged it for the second time a few weeks ago. But as I wrote then, I suspected that the second season will disappoint. And indeed, I could hardly slog through the first five episodes before giving up on it: In S1, Coach Lasso’s folksy wisdom and saccharine naivete seemed genuine and appealing. So after amazing success, Season 2 dumbed down every shred of fun and ‘sincerity’. What started off as a Fish out of Water comedy became a boring attempt at a sitcom. It actually offended me when the contrived sentimentality tugged so obviously at my heart strings to create ‘touching’ moments.

✴️     

Steven Soderbergh’s The Laundromat - Re-watch No. 4 (or 5?), a comedy about The Panama Papers. Down with Late-stage capitalism! 8/10

✴️   

Run Forever, (2021) a generative Vimeo short artwork is actually a Hyundai’s TV commercial for clean energy.

✴️      

Rick Steves' Iran, in what he calls ‘the most surprising and fascinating land he ever been to’.

✴️       

American Chaos, another 2018 liberal documentary, like Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 11/9, about the months leading to trump’s 2016 victory. A mainstream democrat, James D. Stern, travels to “trump country”, talk to his supporters, and try to understand & explain them. Too Late. Opens with Edward Sharpe’s Man on Fire.

✴️       

Rowan Atkinson’s James Bond spoof, Johnny English, was considered a legitimate comedy 20 years ago, and was financially successful. 1/10

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Death in Venice Adora.

Apocalypse Now Adora.

Adora With Rowan Atkinson.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[thisdreamplace]

How do I trust myself? Cause I know this is real, time and time again I’ve seen evidence of the law (although small) there’s still something within me that’s like “no you have still have to work hard or do this and that to prove yourself”, like it’s too good to be true. And I really don’t want to be like that anymore. I really want to get out of my own way? I really want to have a different reality, I just don’t know how to do it. I really want to go within, stay within, and be confident in myself. Even with eiypo, I keep seeing “others” mirroring my questions that I constantly wonder about the law or just things I think about (I’m a very quiet person and I barely speak to others, so I know it’s not a coincidence) and also I’ve thought of a funny story my mom told me when I was really young and then she randomly mentioned it a few weeks ago , so I know everything has to be real but for some reason I’m making it hard for myself, I still have that fear that everything is truly out of my hands, I feel powerless, and still have anxiety about “others” controlling my life cause that was how it was like in my childhood. I wanted to try a different route like how you said about focusing and going within and I want to stay there cause the outside is not ideal at all but I don’t how to go about things. I’m spiralling and I’m all over the place. I’m so confused and lost.

To be real honest, you just do it. Because you have run out of options, really. This is a very on-time post by the way. Because of course, here the law is at work again. Everyone is you pushed out. I have definitely thought such similiar things and as I reply to you, this is basically how I have worked out answering these same questions in my own head for myself as well. Hopefully this makes sense.

So, to hit your first point, needing proof is a trap. I recently realized this. As humans, we love reassurance. How many success stories have we read, how many of our own successes have we had? And yet... it’s like, never good enough. I remember reading something one time when someone was like, would God need to prove this works? Or would God just step into their power and get what they want? I think it’s time we step into our power and stop taking no for an answer. Easier said than done. But that’s where going within comes in. You may have to interact with the outer world and do what you need to there, but there is never anyone stopping you from getting what you want within. Like clockwork, practice choosing your preference. Why are you thinking about what you don’t want when you can be thinking about what you do want? Your mind can be your own Heaven with practice.

As for your fears and anxieties, what if you changed your perspective a bit? So like, I noticed that I am always saying “when your fears and doubts pop up, know they are no longer true for you. That’s your moment to let them be and know they are meaningless.” Well I advised this and I practiced it too. I definitely follow my own word. But... when doubts and fears such as what you listed came up, like not truly being in control or the law not being real, I let them go unchecked. It’s like my brain categorized them as something different, so I didn’t even notice I was doing it. Like, why don’t I just start rejecting those thoughts too? Like, yeah, I used to feel the law might not be real. But not anymore. I know it’s real. It’s always working. I used to think I wasn’t the operant power... but now I know I am and being fearful of such cannot hurt me. Like everything else, an assumption persisted in must harden into fact. So why not try shifting the focus a bit?

Further, to address going within, always do it because it is real. It is when you get to connect with who you truly are, and take back full power as the creator. There’s no need to fight against the 3D anymore. The 3D is faithful to who you are within. Understand this, and it can become a tad bit more easier. Turn your back on the world of shadows and change within. We must be it all within, that’s the thing about it. It’s a lot of responsibility to take. But that’s why you may choose your focus one day at a time. It never needs to be all at once. It’s not a race, it’s truly a journey and you can never do anything wrong.

Like right now, I know the one thing I want more than anything and I have chosen the experience over something specific. So I persist in that. Being so specific can be so heavy. Like, instead of wanting a specific amount of money (and you don’t feel good about it), why not just go to the end of being someone who is incredibly rich? Let the rest handle itself. I am doing the “live in the end - if it’s mine what the hell do I have to worry about anymore” because I am tired of worrying.

As the day goes on, I am careful and try to stay within. I try to choose my preference every chance I get.

Choosing your preference looks like: I ordered food and it was a little cold. That’s fine, because I know I always get perfect meals and on top of that, I always get them for free.

Then you move on. An unwanted thought comes up and you sit with it and know it is not true. Then you focus on what you do want instead. Plant little seeds throughout the day of things you’d like to experience. The sun shining, someone offering you a free meal, an orange cat, and so on and so on. Get used to always doing things how you want to in your mind. Get used to things going your way in your mind. Practice and persist. Take the emphasis off of manifesting for results and for once, just practice changing from within because you deserve to feel better.

I’ll try to put this into words but like, we get so caught up with our specific manifestations we do 20% when we could really be building these beautiful, phenomenal lives simply from retraining our minds. No need to affirm on loops or anything, but simply no longer taking the outer world as the final say. Your mind gets the final say. We think about the outer world so much as the day happens and that keeps us in the same reality. It’s like a loop. Practice going within more often. Choose to focus within more often.

As always, go easy on yourself. It’s okay. Take a step back and feel free to love yourself like you love your favorite character. Yeah, sometimes they do silly stuff or maybe things get heavy for them. But you always cheer them on and want the best for them. Give youself that kind of love and grace, because that is the kind of love that lives within you. That kind of love is the reason the law exists at all.

The funniest thing to me is I read all these types of advice in the beginning of my journey months ago and I really said... “ehh, no thanks.” And now here I am going, “damn... actually let me try that.” lmao This isn’t a manifesting journey for nothing, huh? But my point here is, it’s probably best to just take the advice. To just surrender to it and allow it to be and see what happens. For your own peace of mind. And give it a real good shot. Don’t worry about anyone else or how long it took this or that person. Give yourself a fair chance and persist for at least a month and see what happens. There’s no way you will not begin to see changes in your life. And not just the cute manifestations here and there, but the ones that are literal old stories being flipped into new stories in your life.

Remember, there is no one to change but self. We all got this!! Hopefully this was helpful and made sense. I really tried to be clear but please feel free to ask any questions if you have any. You have so many successes you will be sharing!! Keep persisting!! 💖

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have any tan lines? Nope. Have you ever wished you could stop time? Yes. I’ve also wished I could speed it up. Is there any pictures on the wall you're in? Yeah, there’s several. Who was the last person who called you? My mom. Did you make any money today? No.

Have you ever fallen and twisted your ankle? No. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I haven’t jumped from anywhere. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? No. Ever been so unfortunate to slip on wet rocks? Nope. When was the last time you got completely soaked by rain? It’s been a long time. One of the times that comes to mind is when my mom, aunt, a former friend, and I were at an outdoor festival and we got caught in an unexpected rain storm. It just started pouring down hard and we were not prepared at all. We had to run back to our car, which was parked a good distance away and yeah we were absolutely soaked. 

Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I’d love to be able to book a beach vacation getaway. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. I’m not a cook and have no interest in trying to become one. Do you ever watch the clouds, to see if they look like objects/animals etc? I did when I was a kid sometimes. When was the last time you didn't want to get out of bed? That’s me everyday. It’s a real struggle. Are you excited for anything coming up in the near future? No. My foreseeable future consists of more doctors and appointments and struggles and spending most of my time in bed. Speaking of dancing, do you know any real dance moves? I know them, but I can’t do them. Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? A shirt. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? One of my favorite covers is Adele’s cover of George Michael’s “Fast Love” that she preformed at an award show in honor of him after he died. I can only describe it as hauntingly beautiful. I really wish she would have released a studio version of it. When was the last time you printed something off? I don’t recall; it’s been awhile. Are you one of those people who can learn music/songs by ear? No, I wish. There was a guy in my piano class I took my senior year in high school that could do that. It was really cool. Has the power gone out recently? No, but I have a feeling it will happen soon. It always does when we have a lot of triple digit degree weather, which is what this week has consisted of. Do you like driving at night? I don’t drive, but I like nighttime drives. Like, whenever I travel I love leaving really early when it’s still dark out. It’s a different experience. Does seeing roadkill make you sad, or just grossed out? Both. Does wearing heels make you feel sexier? I don’t wear heels. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? The piano can sound that way. What day do you go back to school (if you're in school)? I’m forever done with school. When was the last time you've gone shopping with a friend? It’s been a few years. Do you ever go out to dinner with your Mom? We haven’t physically gone out to eat for dinner in quite a long time.  What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch. Have you ever bought fireworks? Not me personlly, but my dad and brother do every 4th of July. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Sometimes, but I ultimately decide if I want to see it or not. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Sure. Who was the last person/website to send you an email? I don’t feel like checking. Has your phone ever rang and scared you? Yeah. I’m such a jumpy person anyway. If you have a cat, does it ever "converse" with you? I don’t have a cat. If given the chance, would you ever fly in a fighter plane like the F-16? No. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Uh, YES. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? No. Do you support the funds designed to protect endangered animals? (Like WWF). I haven’t done much myself to support them, but I’m glad they exist. What type of a drunk are you? (Obnoxious, calm, emotional, violent, etc) I was a chatty drunk. I feel like I was annoying, ha. I was also the sad drunk. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? I love the name Alexander. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? Uhh, depends. If you're not already, when do you plan on getting married? I don’t want to get married. Can you tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke? Nooo. It honestly makes me sick, like I get lightheaded and dizzy, I get nauseous, and I get a really bad headache. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? I sometimes tap my fingers and hands. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? No. Was there something that "made your day" today? It literally just turned midnight, so today is just now starting. Do you have a favorite kind of chocolate bar? White chocolate. Are you happy that it's summer? Ugh, no. It’s hot and miserable. Is there anything that you should be doing right now? I’m about to make my nightly bowl of ramen.  Has anyone had expectations that you just couldn't live up to? (finishing this a couple hours later...) That’s how I’ve been feeling. Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating? Nope. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? Nah. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Wow, this question makes it seem like they’re so futuristic and rare lol. Yes, I use electric toothbrushes. Are you or anyone you know devoted to "being green"? Not overly so, no. When it comes election time, do you vote (if you're old enough)? Yes. What was the last movie you watched that was on TV? I watched Fear 1994 on Netflix recently if that counts. How long have you had an account on bzoink? I don’t have an account on bzoink. Do strapless bras work for you? I don’t like them. I only wear them if I have to, like with a dress. Do you have a favorite hair elastic that you use almost always? No. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/ were planning on it/etc? No. When you were younger, did you have a yoyo? I did. I couldn’t do any tricks, though. What was the last video game you played, if any? Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Has anyone ever called you nerdy? Yeah. Have you ever had to call 911? Yes. Has there ever been a tornado near where you live? No, fortunately. Are you a rollercoaster addict? Noo. I’m a big scardy cat. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? No. I’m very self-conscious about my legs. About my body in general, really. If you have iTunes, do you find the Genius recommendations helpful? I don’t even recall what that is; I haven’t used iTunes in almost 10 years. Are you quick at looking up numbers in phonebooks/ words in dictionaries? Phonebooks, wow.  I haven’t used a phonebook or actual dictionary in yearsssss thanks to the Internet/Google.  Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Lucille Ball. Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at? None of those. Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything? I don’t have any friends. Can you stand spicy foods? Not anymore. :( It’s gotta have like barely anything like McDonald’s or Taco Bell mild hot sauce type of stuff. It’s wild because I used to be obSESSED with spicy food. I put hot sauce on everything and had a high spicy tolerance. Then a few years ago I developed a sensitivity and I can’t even have red pepper flakes now. It sucks. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? Hey, do what you want. I’ll admit the really stretched out lobes freak me out, though. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? To me they can be either one, it just depends. What is your school mascot? -- Do you find black and white photos to be pretty? Yeah. Food you make doesn't taste as good as food made by others, true? Sometimes. Especially foods like sandwiches for some reason. I think they’re way better when my mom or a deli makes them.  Is there a certain color that doesn't look good on you? I don’t think I look good in anything, so. Have you ever heard anything interesting about Nova Scotia, Canada? Not that I can recall. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No, thankfully. Do you know when you will get to see your significant other next? I’m single. What's the book you're currently reading? ”Such a Good Girl” by Willow Rose. Is your room currently a disaster? No. If going to a concert, do you prefer it to be outside or in a stadium? Definitely in a stadium.

Do you have a case for your camera? I use the camera on my phone, which I do have a case for. Can your cellphone take a beating? I’ve dropped it a few times and so far so good. Is there a month you prefer over others? October and December. Do you ever buy lottery tickets? Just a couple of times. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? A Clockwork Orange is one. Are you more of a tape or a glue person? Tape. Of course, it does depend on what I’m doing. In some cases, glue is the better option.  Has anyone you know gotten mono? Not that I know of. What is/or was your graduating year? I graduated UC in 2015. Have you had a weird dream lately? All my dreams are weird. Have you ever gotten an autograph from someone famous? Yes. Do you own a pair of slippers? No. Do you ever watch VHS movies anymore? No. I don’t even recall the last time. Has your computer ever decided to completely erase itself? No, but I’ve lost stuff because of viruses back in the day. :(

Only when the power goes out do we realize how much we rely on it, true? It definitely becomes quite apparent quite quickly. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? No. Can you say yes / no in different languages? ”Si” and “No”, ha. Are you good at styling your own hair? No. Especially not anymore since I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anything with my hair, which is why it was always up in a bun. I finally just cut it really short and have been wearing a cute wig if I go somewhere cause that’s all I can to do right now. I am sad, though. It was so long.   Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? The Scarlett Witch and Iron Man. What color is the shirt you're wearing right now? Black. Have you ever been lost? Physically and figuratively, yes.