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stevenbasic · 9 months

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Growing into the Job, Post 367: That was Then, This is Now, Epilogue

Amelia Eklund was making bank. Who knew a girl could earn so much money being a casual, relatively disinterested cam girl? So far she was doing it through one of these new companies that took a little cut but handled it all. She heard the money went to the Movement so yeah, whatever, great. These services were getting super popular, with a bigger and bigger stable of girls that did this every day. And not just the slutty ones that used to be on like Streammate or Twitch or whatever, but regular girls who let internet guys look at them for a couple minutes here and there. It was a good way to make some extra cash and exploit these dorkey losers, which had an appeal in and of itself. You didn't even have to take clothes off, really. It was still half an unspoken secret, but men were becoming so submissive; they’d stare at a girl's foot for an hour, or a bra tag, and pay big shit for it. It wasn't just the few weirdos ethier, it was like all of them. It seemed every guy was becoming crippled with these similar fetishes, couldn’t help themselves. Tons of guys, now, would spend much of their day just surfing around from girl to girl, dropping dollars just to watch a pretty girl put on her makeup. So, women were making money on it all over the place, casually. It was just one of the ways the bulk of the nation’s wealth was slowly being transferred, changing hands from male to female. The men seemed helpless to stop it, and girls like Amelia were taking full advantage. Every day there were more and more guys on Amelia’s morning stream.

Like, this morning, Tuesday. Amelia had - after only like twenty seconds - more than 300 viewers, each paying $10 just to see her OOTD. Granted, her popularity had skyrocketed - as had his lololol - after she’d streamed her boss getting swarmed on Melissa’s couch, beat off to a whimpering mess under a sea of them and then watching all the girls surrounding him grow, right on camera. He’d been in a daze, didn’t remember the moment, but the world fucking loved it. Who knew, right? Everyone was jonesing these days for big women and short, weak, pathetic little guys, man-children. And watching one of these twerps actually make girls grow? A goldmine. The Tiktok video, with all the shares or reblogs or re-posts or whatever by others, onto all the different platforms, had already collected more than thirty million views since Saturday. As many women watched as men. Maybe there were more women, actually.

Amelia got tons of DMs from girls: who WAS that guy?? Can I have a piece haha? So vulni!! The hilarious thing was he didn’t even know about it yet, that he was internet-famous after, like, one minute of being on camera. And yeah it helped Amelia’s cam-girl career start to really take off.

Honestly - and she’d never admit this outloud, but the thrill she got wasn’t just from the money she was raking in; it was from seeing those viewer numbers go up. It was more than a thrill, actually, there was something darkly electric about it. Like, every new viewer seemed to bring her more energy, and that energy made her tingle and buzz. And besides soaking her panties, she could tell it was all going somewhere, like it was being collected and channeled into something. The bigger those numbers were, the more simpy little men that signed on to her stream, the bigger that buzz became. She would only find out later that it was all going to Melissa.

So, yeah. Amelia looked at her live viewer count. She was bored already but the numbers helped. She’d make a couple grand this morning before work by giving the simps what they wanted for a minute and taking their cash. She knew she could call them ‘good boys’ for ‘looking at mommy’ and watch the tips explode. But not today, nah. She didn’t really feel like talking. Everyone wanted big mommy, all the time; this morning they'd have to settle for this.

The comments came in a rush:

omigod look at her put her hands behind her head like that.

she’s bigger than she was yesterday.

that sweater can’t contain her

Her simps loved to fill her chat box, just talking about her. Sometimes they tried to get her attention.

goddess please smile for us

you are so beautiful

please tell us your bra size again

how can I send you more money?

Every once in a while there’d be someone interesting, someone with something to say. Sometimes they were rebellious jerks, but most of the time they were just confused twerps trying to figure this all out. She rarely had the patience for them, and most of the time she could quiet them down by just filling their screens with her tits.

why does she look taller whats happening

LOG OFF NOW SHES PART OF THE CONSPRCY

remember back in the day when camgirls would just do what you told them?

That last comment caught Amelia’s eye, and it actually brought not just a chuckle out of her, but a response. Quickly, right before logging off, she smiled crookedly into the camera and typed out a reply to that misguided cretin:

That was then, assholes. This is now.

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more more more:

#growing into the job

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soft-for-them · 2 years

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Dead dial - Leon Kennedy x plus size reader

Summary: You're a nursing student who lives in Raccoon City who frequently talks to an old friend, Leon Kennedy, over the phone. Just as he's about to move to the same city as you the living dead start to roam the streets. (There is some descriptions of zombie related gore.)

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated and help more people read my works.

A/N: Replaying Resident Evil games. Might not be 100% canon, I'm not really into the RE law. Also this will get a part two if people like it enough. Not proof read because I'm tired.

“You know this probably is a bad idea, Leon.”

Balancing the phone receiver between your ear and shoulder you try not to pull in the old spiral cord too much, the old in phone wall in your outdated flat is probably as old as you.

Standing in your small kitchen, the kitchen island digging into your soft flesh as your lean into it so the phone cord does not snap, you look out the old creaky wooden window past the fire escape to the dim yellow bulb street lights and rain soaked grey buildings.

Sirens loud and ear piercing can be heard, followed by the flashing of the obnoxious red and blue lights of multiple cop cars. You’ve never really trusted the police in this city, funny considering the man on the end of the phone is about to become one.

“(Y/n).” Leon says with an exhausted sigh. You can imagine his rubbing his hand through his hair whilst saying it.

“There’s something going on here-“ you step closer to the widow the phone line going straight as you look outside like an nosey old person would, “-the hospitals have been so hectic lately.”

You should know, you’re a second year nursing student, it’s the whole reason you moved to Raccoon city in the first place. (It certainly wasn’t the damp filled flats and lovely raining weather that brought you here.)

For school you work partly in the city’s hospital and for weeks now the ER has been flooded with people, you don’t know why, but many either have been sent home or have suddenly died. There’s even a rumour that patients have been taken as test subjects by Doctor Bard, though you’ve been too busy dealing with the rise of ‘cannibals’ to even care. All the nursing students have been worried, hell everyone working at the hospital has been worried, but the city’s government and press have been keeping the rising casualties hush hush.

“I know…” Leon begins his words long and worried, “Was it bad today?”

He knows your answer regardless, for the last month you conversations on the phone have been less about happy things such as seeing a fluffy dog on a walk or eating a tasty pastry and more on just about how you feel like you’re an overworked underpaid nurse already with how much you’ve been helping at the hospital whilst also studying and working a part time job.

“They say us going to the hospital is for educational purposes, at first it was but now we just go to be extra hands. They need it. I saw a doctor collapse today she was so over worked… and well at least all this overtime is going towards my grade.”

“(Y/n).” Leon echoes your name so quietly to stop you from rambling, he has known you long enough to know when your anxious rambling begin.

“Haha-“ you nervously chuckle as more sirens blare on, this time from ambulances rushing down the narrow roads lined with parked cars and thin pavements, “-I’m going to get an A with all the work I’m doing.”

“(Y/n).” his voice is louder and filled with concern.

“I hand to hold man down today whilst he screamed… he was screaming Leon-“ tears start to bubble up in your tired eyes, them threatening to drip down your face like the rain drop on your windowsill, “-I- I-“

“(Y/n)… listen to me, ok.”

“I’m listening.” You sniff as you lean back on the kitchen counter.

“You’re ok, Sundays almost here and then you can have day off, I can call if you like.”

Leon hopes you will for his relationship isn’t going well and ever since you moved away he hasn’t had a proper friend to talk to about such mundane and normal things. He likes hearing your voice even if lately you’ve been sounding worn out and a bit sad.

“I- I have work Saturday and I’ll sleep through Sunday, I- well- I don’t want to miss a call, but it’s hardly a day off Leon.”

“Ring in sick, go to that café you want to go to- what is it call- Lauren’s?”

“Lorenzo’s coffee and cake.”

“Yeah, that. You said they have a cream cake and imported coffee beans.” He remembers you talking about it on a past phone call, “Or you said that you wanted to go to that pop up art exhibit-“

“- The classics one –“

“-Yes, you said there is a Van Gogh there.”

He recalls you staying that a private collector was exciting their art collection which just so happened to have a Van Gogh sketch in it. You were so excited when you told he almost asked you to go with him to it, totally forgetting you now live in to different places and not in the same apartment complex like you did before.

“I ends Friday.” You glumly say.

“Then call in sick Friday and Saturday.”

Surly your boss would believe you more if you’d come down with say a cold on the Friday rather than suddenly getting on the Saturday, that’s what Leon thinks as he says the idea to you.

“I guess it does make it more believable to but-“

“-but?”

“…I don’t want to let anyone down Leon. This city is going to shit and I don’t want to be the asshole who fucks everything up because I don’t turn up to work or class…”

“You work in a supermarket.” His voice is filled with a fun confusion, like he’s amused and shocked at your words, as he ponders how not turning up at your cashier job will affect the city.

“So? Three shops have already closed down this month, the customers have doubled because people have to eat and- and-“

“(Y/N), you’re overthinking again. They can handle a day without you.”

“They can?”

“I can’t handle a missed phone call from you, think about it. A day off and a long phone call with me or no day off and a missed phone call because you’re too exhausted to wake up?”

“You know I’d take the phone call regardless.”

“Take the days off and call me tomorrow, it’s getting late and we both need some rest.”

It’s your cue to say goodbye, which is already drawn out and filled with cheesy jokes from Leon that make you laugh. You always did say that going to bed on a happy note makes the next day a better experience and Leon remembers it, so he always tries to cheer you up before either one of you hangs up.

“Night Leon.”

“Goodnight (Y/n).”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

You didn’t take the days off but you did stay up late long enough to speak to Leon. He was having girlfriend troubles and you talked to the sun came up.

You were on your way to a lecture but a mass email was sent out telling everyone to stay home, or arrive at the hospital to help out, you chose the former opting rather to go home and go back to sleep.

Maybe you’ll go to the hospital to help out later on.

Apparently half of the students were already at the university when the email was sent out and apparently a lot of teachers were too. Many people have been sending messages through the many university group chats and message boards to stay away from the school. On person said that the city was going t be evacuated.

The sirens have been going off for days now, public transport has been limited that morning for some odd reason, you had waited at you bus stop for a half hour before getting a text from a friend telling you about the email and walking back home.

Even now you hurry as if someone is following you.

It feels like for the last week the city has become smaller and smaller, like a video game with a map yet to unlock. More and more people have become ill and it seems the Umbrella Corporation is being shoved in your face, their advertisements playing every commercial break along with warnings to stay inside unless you need to go out to work, school, the shops or hospital.

You have no clue what’s going on but you’re glad Leon is starting work here, even if he’s a cop.

You hope that Leon will get to the city quickly. You see, it all started with a call from him last night of him crying and saying his girlfriend dumped him and ever since that call it has seemed to get worse for you both. No longer was he going to have that nice shared flat with her in Raccoon city and from what you heard he was drunk, whilst you were up all night the sound of sirens and screams keeping you up.

Last night you stayed up with him until he fell asleep and even then you couldn’t sleep. Even this morning, you were worried sick about him driving down to Raccoon hungover, so you left him a voice message.

“Hey, Leon. I’m just about to head out to class, but um just know I’m here for you if you need me, oh and drink some water and take some paracetamol... Yeah, anyway I was thinking that well if you want to you could crash here if that apartment situation is still – you know- fuck, it’s too early to think and talk coherently… Um, yeah, the offer’s there if you want, you know where the spare key is hidden, speak to you soon. Take care Leon. Bye.”

And even now as you rush home avoiding everyone out on the streets, which is odd because there hardy seems to be anyone at all, well apart from some people asleep on benches like they were drunk and apartment buildings filled with shouts of people angry and annoyed (which you don’t realise is the sounds of zombies roaming around.)

You hurry up your pace to avoid a crowded looking street that looks to have a car crash and an onslaught of on lookers on it. You don’t take one look at the reanimated corpse who stumbles out the car and bites an onlooker, you just carry on rushing back to your flat, a bad feeling taking over you.

Passing burning buildings not yet entirely engulfed in flames but getting there and all the cars normally parked on the sides of the road gone from their owners trying to escape the city you finally get your apartment complex, the big double doors barricaded shut, a cabinet pushed against the fragile glass.

You wonder up to the door to see if someone is near the metal letterboxes or if the janitor’s closet is open with the janitor taking a break. Leaning your head on the glass you look around but no one is there to help you get inside.

“Hel-“ you begin to speak, your hands clutching the straps to your backpack but you stop yourself, the odd feeling of dread making your stomach do back flips.

Stepping backwards you hear a blood curdling scream.

You whip around to see a woman coved in blood crying and crawling out of the spinning doors of the fancier apartment complex just a bit down the street, her voice screaming a croaky ‘help’ to no one in particular.

“Don’t be a coward (y/n), you’re a nursing student, go help her!” the voice in your mind urges you.

Freezing still in front of the barricaded glass doors you look on to the speck that is the screaming woman, your hands clutching at you backpack straps so much that that the plastic fabric irritates your skin.

White doctor daps step backwards and not forwards, the tarmac scuffing your shoes.

You’re too scared to help the woman.

A loud moan like growl reverberates the ground, you look to your left at the glass doors to see a person, no, a dead man walking. He tries to walk to the door the furniture blocking the door making him slump over, only his hands touch the brittle glass.

The noise of gargling blood, the sight of his glassy dead eyes, the absence of a left arm, it makes you panic. You desperately look around for anything, anyone, any opening to escape all the while the dead get closer and closer.

Finally you spot the side alley, well it’s technically a whole road that leads to another street but with all the rubbish and filth only police cars and rubbish trucks drive down it. Apparently your block of flats used to look over a nice patch of grass that was a park but a couple years before you moved in they had built more buildings grey and dull blocking out the sun light.

Passed the rubbish bins you see the fire escape, the same fire escape that leads up to your window.

You look one more look at the dead man banging his head on the cracking glass, then one more look at the now quiet woman slumped on the ground, back to one look at the dark alleyway, you know what you have to do.

You bolt.

Dodging black bags of gooey trash and a hoard of skittering rats you clamber up the frail rusted frame of the fire escape. You take two steps at a time up the stairs each step rattling and swaying the old structure. You do not look back as trampled footsteps echo out in the street nor do you dare look into the passing windows, some covered in bloodied handprints.

Soon enough you get to your window, your flat on the fifth floor a welcomed sight to see.

The old wooden windows are slowly rotting away and the locks are permanently broken. You’re thankful that you hadn’t bothered locking the make do lock you drilled and secured in the window, the blocky hinged lock looking locked deterring any burglars from coming in.

Leon had said that he’d happily fix the window for you when he was settled in the city but considering what is happening you don’t care all that much for the lock, only that your friend is ok.

With a couple of rattles and a whole load of upper arm strength you slide the window up. There is just about enough space to fit in, though you’re going to have to suck in your tummy to do so and you’re going to have to shove your backpack in first.

You do just that, the backpack falling off the counter onto the floor with a thud, then you squeeze yourself through, your hips hurting as you force yourself in, your ass landing on the draining board next to the sink.

“Fuck.” You mutter as you bang your body on the hard surface, your feet hitting the ground as you push off the counter.

As soon as you are stable you lock the window the fastest you’ve ever done, closing the blinds along with it, doing that partly so no one can see you inside but also partly so you don’t have to see the outside world.

You’re finally home but you’re scared as hell.

Automatically you go to your rotary phone hanging on the wall.

You pick up the receiver, your fingers automatically dialling Leon’s home phone.

There is no ringing or waiting sound.

The phone line is dead.

A/N: If you want a part two please send in an ask rather than commenting for another part, this is just because asks are an easier way for me to track requests. Comments are still welcomed and requests are open!

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil 2 #resident evil 2 remake #plus size reader #x plus size reader #chubby reader #x chubby reader

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for-a-longlongtime · 1 year

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Wow. Y'all. I truly never expected so many awesome responses on the post I wrote last night about Dieter, Goya and Pedro on Talk Art. It is the first 'fun' thing I've written in so many years - after having felt blocked/paralyzed re: creative pursuits since 2020 (shit happened) -, without stressing about how I wrote it, and it means the world to me that so many people liked it and shared it.

I don't want to clutter up all the feeds by individually sharing and responding to the reblogs etc, so I'm throwing it together in one post here - because I want y'all to know I appreciate it so much. And it honestly made me even more excited that some of my favorite PP fic authors did so, because I've been enjoying YOUR work so much!

@chaoticgeminate Sending those hugs right back, and your fic was absolutely not a silly little piece! I truly love(d) it, and I'm glad it sent me down this little rabbithole. And yes, while writing that piece I also became more convinced that Pedro himself was a really big part in shaping Dieter and his background story. It's so damn intelligent and very much his style.

One thing I didn't mention yesterday (and I'm sure this is something a lot of people already spotted since the first day that the movie was online) is that I also came to realize how much Pedro has based Dieter's outfits and some mannerisms on Jeff Bridges' character The Dude from 'The Big Lebowski'. Never really saw that movie but I put it on today for a bit, and it was striking -- I'd even dare to say that the "'Bola, hold my hair!" moment on the toilet is a nod to how The Dude (who has longer hair) gets his face shoved into a toilet. Also, at one point when Bridges' character is addressed with "Mr Lebowski", he dismisses that and tells the guy to call him Dude, or even 'Duder' which, yeah, that's just a small step from 'Dieter Bravo'.

amycben on Reddit said the same thing about Bridges, and shared these Dieter pics, which definitely made it clear how our Feral Raccoon Boy's style is inspired by 'The Dude' <3 I don't care much for the Lebowski movie, but I love a good reference, especially since it's a Coen brothers movie - and we all know that Pedro now has a small role in Ethan Coen's upcoming movie 'Driveaway Dolls'. Anyway, I honestly hope that at some point Pedro will be asked about the work he did in shaping Dieter, because I'd love to hear more about this. There's no chance in hell that'll happen, because which journalist would ask him this? But I'm cool though if the universe wants to manifest one of us getting to interview him some time in the future, haha.

Anyway, again @chaoticgeminate - thank YOU really. I needed that deep dive more than I knew thanks to your writing!

@nicolethered thank you too for being responsible for my deep dive, haha, it were your screenshots that made me recognize the other Goya paintings! <3 (and I love your gifs btw!

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings well hearing from you that you loved MY writing is just such a super awesome thing after how much I've been enjoying your Dieter story! <3 <3

@julesonrecord I'M TOTALLY IN hahaha, I saw your comment right before I went to bed last night and it made me smile so much!

@imaswellkid I'm def not an Apatow person either, and I'll be honest - the first time I watched the Bubble I couldn't get past the first half, haha. But I later began to realize that you should indeed watch it through a critical lens and as a reflection about the craziness that was going on, rather than 'oh this is a movie about the pandemic'. The Mando bud is great btw! But even better is the Baby Yoda bud - I have no clue how growers/dispenseries (I'm in the midwest) get away with naming their product after Disney stuff, but I'm sure glad it got me to try that hahaha.

@lunapascal IKR artist Dieter is so damn underrated, and I'm so glad that at least a whole lot of fic authors are giving him more of what he deserves! OK and I totally want to write some too now, hahaha. Especially because there's a lack of Dieter x OMC/m!reader fics, which tbh needs to be fixed.

@survivingandenduring @sp00kymulderr @thesimulationswarm @pedrit0-pascalit0 @gemmahale @sin-djarin @perotovar @ladamedusoif @gracie7209 thank you so much for your kind words, they honestly mean so much to me! @angelofsmalldeathandthecodeine WOW, that Dali piece is fuckin incredible! And @basicoccult woahhh maybe y'all did!? See now I feel like I need to inquire about whether y'all take new initiates! <3

@chronically-ghosted God don't get me started, it's so tempting - next thing you know I'll have suckered myself into writing Dieter fic (while I'm only just getting started now on two other WIPs), haha. But yes I'm so curious about what the unspoken canon is there -- and most probably Pedro is the one with answers to that since it seems so much like he created Dee. I ended up googling some Apatow interviews this morning and saw that he set out to make the Bubble as a sort of Christopher Guest movie (the mockumentary style), and other articles said that there was a lot of improv involved - so obviously Pedro must've contributed a lot. Particularly because I've read at least interviews with four directors (Zeke who did Prospect, Craig Mazin from TLOU, I wanna say Patty Jenkins, and I'm currently blanking on the other name) who spoke about how involved Pedro was, down to specific dialogue and character's motivations etc in shaping the movie (I think Zeke said that Pedro worked with them to tone down Ezra's Shakespearian manner of speech a little, which I can totally see happening since Pedro has done/read so much Shakespeare and it's easy to picture that he wants to fine tune it so it's accessible enough for audiences). Ugh, it's probably gonna take a long while until there'll be any long form interviews with him again, and sadly interviewers are probably not gonna ask about any of this.

Re: painting or acting, yesterday I read @blueeyesatnight 's That's Not Your Name-Dieter fic (LOVED it, can def recommend it!) and one of the coolest things about Dee's character development there is that it indeed delves into 'okay how did he pick acting versus art' and more background story, plus how in the current day events of the story he is even making his own oil paint. That has become my headcanon now <3

@tessa-quayle I'm so glad you liked my post!! I really really wish that Russell and Robert would do another episode with Pedro. I love Russell in particular (sorta followed his work since Being Human was released, which holy crap was already 15 yrs ago?), but the way they attempted to interview Pedro back then was kind of a hot mess - and I say that lovingly hahaha. They were so enthusiastic that they talked over him so/too many times, so I'd love a tad calmer conversation where P has the opportunity to go more indepth.

@tvversionperson IKR there is SO much plot and character development to be explored with Dieter in that movie, which of course it doesn't have room to delve into but shit I wish they would/could. Or at least to just hear Pedro talk about what his thoughts are on it, because you know he most definitely had Dee's entire back story fleshed out in his head when he shot this movie.

Super long post, but again, I just wanted to thank y'all for the love. This is the first time I've done anything writing wise re: the PP cinematic universe, and all your responses have been so heartwarming and really encouraged me to do more stuff in one way or another with the Pedro boys, be it rabbit hole analysis or fic.

#pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x f!reader #goya #francisco goya #black paintings #saturn devouring his son #witches sabbath #two old men eating soup #he-goat men #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal #dieter bravo fanfiction #the bubble #art #talk art #painting #oil painting #mural

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yooglefics · 4 months

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Here is the thing: I love timelines. So I'm this 🤏 close to grabbing a calendar and mark down the days when the chapters from The Casual Type take place. And also, that way I can know for sure when Halloween is supposes to happen, because of course I want to do something for it lol. So, would any of you guys be interested in seeing that? Like, I can make a little edit for it maybe

Yes, this need for a timeline/calendar got worst when I started to re-watch Skam again haha, I've always LOVED how they present the scenes.

Also, gonna take this chance to thank you for the comments, likes and reblogs on the first chapter, literally means so much!! <3 It also makes me want to share the next one sooner so I might work on the lil cover today. Anyway, thank you, I appreciate youuu <33

#( yapping. )#( the casual type )#( polls by yun. )

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fantasiawandering · 9 months

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Hello! I just saw that you reblogged a post about writting something “that means something to someone” and I just wanted to tell you how much your Falling series means to me.

From time to time I re-read my favorite chapters because they really bring me joy, I just love your portrayal of April and her relationship with the brothers too (and Splinter). Her sometimes nerdy side that she has and way she connects with each turtle.

Sometimes when I rewatch the show, in specific episodes I can’t help but think about some scenarios that happened pre/post episode that you wrote haha (like April “learning to fly” after the Gauntlet episode)

After seeing that post I felt the need to say that your story indeed meant something, for me, and and also thanking you for writting such an amazing story 💕

happy new year!🎆

Thank you so much for the ray of joy I really needed today. Working on that story brought me so many good times, and I'm so glad it found its people and that it still resonates. Thank you so much for reading it and sharing your experience with me. I still really want to finish off the loose threads, and maybe with things shaking loose as they are, it'll happen sometime soon. Thank you so much for sending this.

#Falling #asks answered

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hermesserpent-stuff · 1 year

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HAHA MAJOR POTENTIAL SPOILERS for Cascading Smokefall

Basically im testing out a direction. and this is the scene for it. and i really needed to write something like this to get it out of my system. and to think about it. Lemme know thoughts

prolly will do a reblog when awake

tw: drugs tw: kidnapping

youtube

When Electro had exploded out of the lightbulb, Quentin knew that there would be trouble in Ock’s lab. When the man began to babble about Peter being spider-man to the doctor, Quentin knew it was moments before questioning eyes would turn to him. He had quickly absented himself from the room and heard yells follow his pounding steps.

Quentin blots down a hallway fingers hitting Montana's contact on pure memory as he skids. The door is locked and alarms are blaring. Sh*t. He twists on his foot and darts in another direction as the phone rings once.

“Quentin!”

Montana’s voice is distressed. Quentin knows he has limited time and does not want to waste it.

“Ock knows about Peter’s identity. And I’m not going to be able to get out. I need you to do two things.”

“Quentin, we’re co-”

“Shut up! You might not be able to find me and this is important.” Montana goes silent and Quentin ducks through a doorway and forces a jammed door open and then re-sticks it with a few added chairs behind himself before running again all while speaking fast. “One, look after Harry. Please.”

“Always.”

Quentin knows this. But it is reassuring to hear it.

“Two, tell Peter this is not his fault. I played with fire. It's my fault for being burnt.”

“Here. Tell him yourself.”

A relief. Peter is on the phone after a second and Quentin hears his shaky breaths. He can also hear the door down the hall get obliterated. Not much time. Not much at all.

“Peter? Sweetheart. It's not your fault. This is on me. Okay?”

“But!”

“Hush. Not your fault. I have to call Harry now. Stay amazing. I've always admired your bravery. Tell Montana I'm sorry. And tell Tinkerer I love him.”

And Quentin ducks into a room, blocks the door with a table, and finds a cabinet to hide in. Not the best but it will buy him a few seconds. He calls Harry. It takes a moment. He knows his kid is at work. He could just leave a message. But he has to hope-

“Dad? I'm at work, but I got a moment. What's up?”

“Harry. I want you to know that I love you. And that I'm so proud of you.”

His voice shakes as he whispers in the dark. His kid immediately panics.

“Dad??? What's happening? Why do you sound-”

“And whatever happens, I know you can handle it. Montana and Tinkerer will be there for you. Darling, you're amazing and I could not be prouder to have a son so talented as you.”

Harry seems to catch on that this might be their last chance to speak.

“Dad. I love you too. Your best dad a teen like me could ask for. But- You can't leave me!”

The words warm his heart and tears burn his eyes at the note of desperation at the end.

“I don't want to. Never think that I wanted to, my little hare. I just-”

The door of the room shutters and Quentin hears it cracking. He closes his eyes, trying to remember any other last words he has. Harry starts begging him to stay. To tell him what is happening. Quentin curls into himself tighter.

“I want you to be happy. That is my only wish. No matter what happens to me today at the hands of Ock, try to find a way to be happy, okay? You deserve happiness. And your biological father was always wrong about you.”

And then the door explodes into the room and the whole cabinet shudders. His heart stutters as his name is called.

“Quentin!”

Anger and coaxing coil along each syllable. His body shivers. Harry is still in his ear repeating over and over love and begging him not to go. To stay. Quentin wishes it were that simple. He manages a final whisper.

“I love you.”

And the cabinet is ripped open by an octobot. It grabs him and yanks him out. His phone falls from his grasp and his arms are pinned to his sides as he is forced to kneel. The bot presses into his chest. Ock stands before him, goggles hiding his eyes completely.

“Quentin. You knew.”

A statement. The tone is cold. Calculating. Quentin narrows his eyes in defiance. His silence speaks for him. Ock frowns. And one of the actuators reaches out to his wrist and suddenly the black dragon is taken and held. It squirms and shreiks.

“You have no need for this.”

Ock crushes it and Quentin lets out a small noise of pain. Now they might think him dead. And that bot had been a faithful companion. The loss hurts. His eyes follow it to the floor when it falls. Ock grabs his chin with a human hand and forces him to look back up at him.

“You knew and said nothing. I am very disappointed in you Quentin.”

“Why would it be my place to spill secrets? If a fool knows a secret, he tells it because he is a fool.”

Quentin hisses back. Ock’s stare burns. It burns deep and Quentin feels his heart singing a beat far too quick to monitor. Ock frowns.

“What other secrets have you kept from me?” His tone is gentle and soft. Quentin snarls and the actuator twitches.

“You're going to have to kill me. I will not speak.”

He has so many secrets to keep. So many that are not his own. Ock tilts his head and looks a touch sad. The doctor kneels, coming to eye level.

“Oh, no. I could never kill you, Quentin. I like you far too much. I find very few people agreeable to work with in a lab setting. You would make a fine apprentice.”

The octobot grows warmer and Quentin feels heavier.

“I’ve already got a mentor.”

Quentin bites back. Ock hums, hand shifting from his chin to his hair to give a gentle pat.

“You will reconsider with time. But for now, I must address this business of Peter being the arachnid without you hurting yourself by getting in the way.”

Quentin snarls and then finds himself tiring. He struggles against it and then starts to slump.

“Ahh, there we go. Rest Quentin. All is well.”

His body no longer listens as Ock shifts so that he is slumping into the doctor’s side.

“Oh but what is this?”

The man picks up his phone and Quentin’s heart stills as he sees that Harry is still on the line. His tongue is thick and unwieldy, but his heart is desperate. Desperate for a few more seconds of his child’s voice. Desperate for his child to be alright.

“Harry.”

A thick whisper. Ock glances at him and then places the phone on speaker. Harry’s fearful babbling and tears etch into Quentin’s frozen, drugged bones. A tear burns his cheek.

“Harry?”

Ock’s tone is soft, lying. Harry falls silent immediately.

“Quentin is safe.”

“If you do anything to my dad, no one will remember that you ever walked this earth. I will scrub your essence away from this universe and any other I can find.”

Harry’s tone is dark and powerful. The curse of a witch. Ock does not seem to sense it. Or ignores it.

“He will be fine. He just needs to be kept safe for a little bit. You will see him again.”

“Yeah, I f*cking will. He’s my dad, and there is not a force on Earth that can convince me to let him be taken from me. F*ck you. Im going to burn you alive! Damn your ashes to hell!”

Quentin feels a laugh slip out despite it all. His son. A delight. And dramatic just like him. Ock raises an eyebrow at him and speaks again, interrupting Harry’s tirade.

“We’re hanging up now. Any final words.”

A pause.

“Mea luna. I asked for what was promised and you gave it to me. And that means more to me than anything else dad. I love you.”

And Ock hangs up.

“Mea luna? My moon? What does that mean?”

But Quentin is collapsing into sleep. He could not answer the question even if he wished to.

#tssm #spider nephew au #hermes speaks #tssm mysterio #tw: drugs #tw: kidnapping #spoilers #Youtube

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personinthepalace · 2 years

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I saw a local production of Legally Blonde the Musical today!

One of the local high schools in my city (my old school's "rival" in fact haha) is doing a production of Legally Blonde, and I went to see it today! I'm a huge lbtm fan, but this was my first time seeing a live production, and it was honestly very good!! I am very passionate about the door discourse so I was highly anticipating that moment in the ballad. And this production passed the test! As soon as I saw that they were wheeling out the door during that number, I was silently freaking out to my friend haha. Anyway here are some other random notes/thoughts that I had about the production:

Real dogs! Rufus was a golden retriever, and when he came out, the show paused for a bit bc of the applauding haha. Rufus also listened to Kyle's command to sit which was quite cute haha A HUGE ensemble (it's high school so it makes sense). But they bring back the ensemble for like every possible song Elle was great - she used some vibrato and trills during her solos. Most of So Much Better was kinda a mess (backing music/ensemble not really lining up well), but OMIGOD she held out that last note just like LBB did on bway so huge props to her! Warner was a good singer not as strong as the other leads but he has the best expression/acting choices - more on that later Serious: they didn't do the accidental proposal pose which I thought was a missed joke The violinist during Serious walked back out with some great sad acting after Elle left before playing the last notes of the song (I thought that she was someone from the orchestra but they were actually part of the ensemble so that was cool!) What You Want: Elle's white outfit was cute!! They used the "Jet Blue" line! The actors' school photos for the Elle x Warner poster which I thought was funny haha Harvard variations: they got rid of Sandeep's character so the song was shorter Aaron Sholtz and Enid Hoops were played by butch actors which was cool! Bruiser now loves the Bachelor Emmett - the actor playing him (who my sister knew from elementary school) is such a perfect emmett! Looks exactly like how one would imagine him haha Background acting: Emmett introducing himself to the students and shaking their hands while Elle and Vivienne had their first interaction in class Blood in the water: Callahan was also a very good singer. I think this was one of the strongest number of the show. They also added grey to his hair He was kinda touching Enid during his lines with her but she kept on pushing his hand away from her - foreshadowing! Paulette was amazing!!! I think she might be my favorite actor in the show. She sounds EXACTLY like Orfeh did on bway. Also asian representation!! Ireland - she killed it obviously - seriously amazing!! (though she did accidentally came in early at one part). The lyrics are different from the bway version though (they were about her grandpa) Playboy bunny costume - they added a little tutu to it which was cute! Enid sat near them near the end of this scene (in preparation for Elle stealing her glasses). She tries to drink from a bottle but Warner took it away from her and drank it instead Chip On My Shoulder: Elle wears Emmett's jacket! Emmett saying he hadn't slept since 1998 killed me bc this kid is definitely younger than me haha Elle and Emmett don't do any secret handshakes though :( Elle sat next to Warner during her squealing exit and I loved that so much haha Reclaiming Rufus scene: Elle ran back on stage and threw her arms around Emmett and Paulette - I am here for this trio friendship When Dewey re-exited the trailer and saw Elle, he twirled his long hair

So Much Better, as I said before, was sadly not the strongest number but I do like that Elle's parents appear offstage when she called them. And Elle held out that last note!! Once again no Elle x Emmett secret handshake :(

(Part 2 will continue in a reblog bc apparently I hit the character limit LOL)

#legally blonde #legally blonde the musical #legally blonde musical #elle x emmett #elle woods #emmett forrest #high school production #high school production of legally blonde the musical #rambles in the palace #guess what I just watched #door discourse #yes I am including that tag haha #THEY USED THE DOOR #an automatic win in my book haha #long post

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i-havenothingelsetopost · 9 months

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hello. 3 things:

1) happy (late) new year! how are you?

2) re: that doctor who post you reblogged a minute ago I am pleased to inform you it has now been updated (with 5 more doctors)

3) which language are the pronouns haw/hen (hope I've typed that correctly) for? if they're neopronouns they're really cool and if they're finnish they're also really cool because french pronouns are hell

hi!!

1) thank you, happy 2024 to you too! i've been tired a lot, but today seems so much better that i'm hoping to write at some point! i left my wip at a dramatic place so i'm very excited about it

2) lmao amazing

3) they're swedish! han is masculine and hen gender neutral. finland is technically a bilingual country so everyone is taught swedish at school, but i end up needing the language so little in everyday life that it's easy to forget even simple things about it. i put the pronouns in my bio partly just to help me memorize them, and it has actually significantly helped!

some make fun of hen for its english meaning, but for me that's just a plus 🐔

finnish is cool in that it doesn't have gendered pronouns. there's just hän, and in some dialects (including mine) se. (se means "it" and in formal language is only used for animals and things, but like, humans are animals too, so we may as well use that pronoun for everything)

my first english lessons were confusing because the concept of gendered pronouns felt so complicated and unnecessary haha. then a decade or so later i tried to learn german and oh man. idk how y'all with languages that gender everything do it

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s-dei · 6 months

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Actually today is my RE anniversary 👀 One year ago I made the first pic, and since then made about 100 related pieces! Woah (sketches mostly but you gonna appreciate it in your working days haha). And 40 wips to go........ Gonna throw some self-reblogs for today and tomorrow!

#sdei spam #hell yeah fuck yeah #i'm resi's godovasik #sometimes i'm asking how the fuck is there 40 #but yeah sure that's nicky bein sassy in dif ways #i promise to cherish him more

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detachedminxsfics · 1 year

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It's 9:30pm here where I live. Finally got home! I'm dying to just be swallowed by my bed 😮‍💨 Just wanna say that you're my fav writer in here (think that's obvious by now 🫣), i'm really happy that you post your fics here and that I found you! Just re-read two of your fics today and will re-read Spit tomorrow! I did my infamously essay on my reblog of Farmhand (hope you saw it and that it made you smile just like your writing makes me), The way you manage to express every feeling and sensation with your words is amazing, I physically feel every single one of them, you are so talented! (and it's just a bonus for me that you can read my mind and write everything the way I particularly like it 🤭). You really don't understand how much I love your stories! Whatever you write, I'll be here 🫡

Night to you 😘 (or good day? Idk)

God, you're such a sweetheart and I love you for it. It's around 3am right now as I'm currently on vacay in 🇪🇸, but I'm up going over drafts in my notes app haha. I can't thank you enough for your kinds words and loyalty, it means a lot especially to a writer as inconsistent as me (writers block loves me 😔). And yes, I cracked the biggest smile at your wonderful essay, or any comment of yours for that matter. You point out all the fine details and things that I'm never sure people will pick up on, which sounds hilarious considering I usually write the smuttiest most filthiest shit, but not everything I write is pure p0rn without plot lmao (no shame in that tho either 😉). I appreciate you and all the rest of you who have stuck it out with me this long, especially readers/enjoyers of my spit fic when I haven't updated in months. Love ya'll. ♡

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ben-wisehart · 2 years

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I posted 1,400 times in 2022

35 posts created (3%)

1,365 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thedoggoesed-ward

@cactus-juice-for-sale

@aquietquixotic

@seaflying-fliptuna

@peachdoxie

I tagged 392 of my posts in 2022

#svsss - 65 posts

#bingqiu - 46 posts

#svsss meta - 14 posts

#shen qingqiu - 13 posts

#luo binghe - 9 posts

#tiktok - 9 posts

#mdzs - 9 posts

#meta - 5 posts

#wangxian - 5 posts

#shen yuan - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#just in case anyone starts to think i have interesting and thought provoking opinions…my inner monologue is 90% ‘haha bingqiu soulmates🥰’

My Top Posts in 2022:

1/2) Regarding the bingqiu-bingjiu thing on twitter today, I don't know how to put this but such discussions seem to prompt a downplaying of sy's worth re the svsss world. I'm not saying that was the op's intention and indeed you and many other commenters had brought up such interesting points, but I saw takes from certain character stans as well that rubbed me the wrong way- bingqiu (or any ship with sy) won't happen without sj, sy has no separate identity of his own from sj. ..

2/2) ...he is just seen as an extension of sj by other characters, he is just a privileged young man who got handed sj's hard earned life and is kind only cuz he didn't go through shit like sj... Maybe it's just my sy|sqq bias speaking but such discourse bothers me fsr..

the twitter threads in question:

https://twitter.com/ShanBlackRX_alt/status/1506618891556077570

https://twitter.com/bobby_speeds/status/1506984146794528773

https://twitter.com/bobby_speeds/status/1507009062135005185

sorry I put off answering this! It's been a busy week, etc. etc. anyway

Yeah, I know what you mean. Like.

Listen. I'm obviously a very outspoken SY fan, and I will readily admit that I can't be unbiased when forming opinions about him. He's my favourite character and I utterly adore him, so seeing people ignore him or outright drag him down to elevate SJ annoys me a lot. but. I'll try to break down exactly what bothers me about people saying SY "got handed SJ's hard-earned life and is kind only because he didn't go through the same hardships"

Firstly, Shen Yuan was literally ripped away from his family and the only life he'd ever known!! Just because he plays it cool and tries to make the most of his situation doesn't mean he's happy about dying! Most transmigration or isekai stories (the ones that I've read, at least) explicitly have the MC either come from a life where they didn't have much in the way of family or close attachments, so the loss of their original life isn't as big of a deal, OR their feelings about losing their old life is a source of tension in the story that gets brought up and focused on.

In Shen Yuan's case, he explicitly comes from a nice family who was very close. SY himself might have been unambitious and felt like he was wasting his life, and sure, we'll never know the exact nuances of his relationships with each of his family members, but there's nothing to suggest he didn't love them. His sister in particular he's described as having doted on.

And yet, they're almost never mentioned again. SQQ finds out he's died and just goes "Well, I've been granted a second chance here, I might as well make the most of it" and just...goes on. This straight up never gets explicitly addressed in canon, and it's not because he doesn't care. It's because he can't. He doesn't have anyone with whom he can talk about this loss. He died and was thrown straight into a world that was constantly reminding him that if he didn't satisfy the System, it would KILL him, and if he DID satisfy the System, there was a very good chance he would get horrifically mutilated by the person he was rapidly growing to care for more and more each day. I've talked about this a bit more on twitter here if anyone is interested.

I probably sound like a broken record at this point but I have to keep saying it: SHEN YUAN SPENT SIX YEARS (excluding the 5 he wasn't conscious for) WITH THE CONSTANT THREAT OF EITHER DEATH OR MUTILATION HANGING OVER HIS HEAD. And that IS a traumatising event. So was losing his old life and not getting a chance to process or mourn it. So was being forced to push Binghe into the Abyss (yes, it was traumatising for SQQ specifically, as well as Binghe!!). So was being forced to send Binghe to fight Elder Sky Hammer and all the million other tiny things that he would never have had to do if he'd had complete control over the new life he'd been given.

Like, look at his treatment of Binghe when he comes out of the Abyss. He's terrified. He's spent so much time afraid of Bingge, afraid of what his return will mean for him, that he can't even bring himself to look at the real man who is before him and see the very real differences he has made. He can't afford to, because he's been living with his fear for so long and he knows that one wrong move could be the end of him.

That time Meng Mo puts him into a deep dream where he experiences Shen Jiu's fate, SQQ is so shaken that he can't even look at Binghe afterwards! Compare that with later, after the punishment program, when he literally HAS experienced the fate that he's been threatened with for years, but instead when he gets out all he wants is to see his own Binghe again to make himself feel better, because he desperately wants to forget the image of the man he loves taking pleasure in torturing him. God. FUCK. I CANNOT be normal about this.

Shen Yuan was a VICTIM. That's what it comes down to. Saying he was privileged and was only kind because he never had to suffer like Shen Jiu did is SUCH a bad faith take. Did Shen Jiu have it worse? I mean...sure, yeah. Certainly, he was traumatised during his formative years when the trauma it would have a bigger impact in shaping his personality. But do we really have to do the "oppression olympics" speech in a novel aimed at adults?

And like. Okay. "He got handed SJ's hard earned life". Let's unpack that, because it's not like "Shen Yuan didn't ask for Shen Jiu's life" and "Shen Yuan benefitted from Shen Jiu's death" are statements that can't coexist. Shen Yuan didn't just get pulled into PIDW because he badmouthed the author, he got pulled in because he died and if he hadn't transmigrated he would have simply stayed dead. Even if you ignore all the trauma he faced in his new life, and all the legwork he himself had to do to get the happy ending he eventually gets with Binghe, I can hardly deny that he was better off in the long run than if he hadn't been given SJ's life.

But here's the thing. Shen Yuan wasn't really "given" SJ's hard-earned life. He wasn't given that life at all. If Shen Yuan had woken up in Shen Jiu's body with no System and complete free-reign over his new life, I would agree with this sentiment, but he wasn't. He was being used by the System with no regard to his own wellbeing.

Seriously, ALL the bad things that SY does as SQQ are the result of the System, either by having his hand directly forced on fear of death, or because he's under extreme pressure and in a position he would never have been in if he'd been in control from the beginning. If Shen Yuan had simply transmigrated into SQQ with total free will, he would have lived a happy, peaceful life of spoiling his disciples rotten and that would have been that. Maybe something would have come up later with regards to Binghe's heritage, maybe there would have been some other conflict from TLJ or the OPM, but the main thing is that SQQ would would have never betrayed Binghe and therefore wouldn't do any of the things he did in canon to push him away out of fear. However their lives would have ended up, I think most of us can agree that they would have only faced a fraction of the trauma they did in canon, if any.

That's why it's impossible to compare SY and SJ on equal footing. It's true that some of the things SJ did (killing LQG and making a move on NYY) were misunderstandings, but ultimately, SJ abused Binghe because he chose to. All of his actions were done of his own volition. Nobody forced him to pour tea on an innocent boy who'd just lost his mother and was desperate to please him. Nobody forced him to make a 15 year old fight a demon. Nobody forced him to give Binghe a fake cultivation manual that would have led a normal person to a dangerous qi deviation. Nobody forced him to push Binghe into the Endless Abyss.

The reason it's unfair to say SY "stole" SJ's life is because we've seen the life that SY stole. We already know* how it would have ended. It's not open to interpretation. PIDW explicitly ends with Bingge taking everything from SJ; his home, the life he'd built, his freedom, his childhood friend, and finally his limbs. The world was broken, with countless people dead or otherwise hurt who weren't so in the SV timeline. If SY's presence was what prevented all of that, then...I'm sorry, but I do think SY deserved that life more.

*One person in the comments of the above twitter threads did make an interesting point that SQQ wasn't the only variable that changed in SVSSS compared to PIDW, and that SQH's warning to be careful when saving LQG might have led to a different outcome for SQQ even if SY hadn't transmigrated. I think this is worth bringing up, and I'd honestly love to know exactly how PIDW would have played out if LQG had still been alive, but ultimately, even if SJ had succeeded in saving LQG, I'm just not convinced his ending would have been that different. I think SJ would have been too proud to admit he was the one who saved him and LQG would never have known. They wouldn't have become friends like LQG and SY did, and LBH's personal resolve for vengeance (the main driver in SJ's eventual fate) would not have been affected by this change.

Anyway yeah TL;DR SY's presence improved almost every aspect of the PIDW world for the better (RIP Qin Wanrong, Gongyi Xiao and Zhuzhi-Lang) despite the fact that he never asked to be there and had a force far more powerful than himself trying its damnedest to make him hurt someone he cared about. Sometimes he failed to find the best possible solution to the problems he was faced with, but he still tried his best to work around the limitations placed on him and in the end, I would say he did a pretty good job of it! Maybe even a Better job than the man who was in the exact same position as him but WITHOUT an omnipotent being monitoring his every move and threatening to kill him if he didn't Try To Kill A Child?? who can say for sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And to be fair, I think a lot of Shen Jiu fans would agree with this? Like I don't think it's really a debate that Shen Yuan is an objectively better person than Shen Jiu, it's just that some fans find Shen Jiu a more interesting character to read and write about, which is not my own experience but to each their own! I might prefer SY but I still agree that SJ is a compelling character and I can for sure see why he's a popular character to blorbofy. It only annoys me when people try to drag SY down to his level, or downplay the fact that Shen Jiu is still very much a child abuser who showed absolutely no remorse when asked if he thought his abuse might have been the reason Binghe grew up to be a tyrant.

Thanks for the questions and sorry about the length!! I just hear a question about SQQ and my brain goes brrrr

156 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Hi! I LOVE your SVSSS meta, it's always so well thought out<3 At the very bottom of your BingQiu meta post you mention that LBH is gay. I had interpreted his sexuality in SV as like, he could be attracted to anyone (evidenced by his huge harem in PIDW) but after falling for SQQ, he wasn't interested in anyone else. What leads you to believe that LBH is gay and not bi or pan? (I don't have a strong opinion either way, I'm just interested in hearing your take if you feel like talking about it!)

the post anon is referring to

Oh man I've had this one stewing in my brain for days. I DEFINITELY feel like talking about it.

So here's my obligatory disclaimer that media should be enjoyable first and foremost, and if someone reading this enjoys seeing Binghe as bi or pan, I think you should continue to do so regardless of whether or not it's supported by canon.

To be honest, while I don't read either Luo Binghe or Shen Qingqiu as mspec, I'd probably have an easier time believing it of Binghe than SQQ. SQQ's feelings and attitudes toward women come across very much like your pretty stock-standard compulsory heterosexuality; he talks a lot about how he's straight and wants a girlfriend, but try to name one single woman he's actually attracted to and you come up short. In practice, he's constantly making excuses why any given woman who crosses his mind isn't suitable for him: usually it's "they belong to the protagonist" or maybe "she's too intimidating", and he never seems to realise that these things...don't actually preclude him from finding them attractive.

To Shen Qingqiu, simply not being attracted to a woman is very easy and he genuinely doesn't realise that that isn't normal for straight guys. It's why he finds it so confusing why so many people like PIDW despite all the terrible sex scenes. Even when Madam Meiyin (a woman whose predictions he's just described as infallible) is describing his literal destined partner, he tries to picture a woman who fits that description and immediately dismisses the prediction out of hand because she's unrealistic and would obviously go to Binghe anyway.

I think it's really telling that his favourite female lead in PIDW was Liu Mingyan—the only one who never got sex scenes with the character he was actually attracted to. Like. Seriously. His favourite wife was the one he never had to read having straight sex with Binghe. The lack of sex scenes gave her room to breathe and grow as her own character; Shen Yuan talks about how he thinks she should get "pushed down" but I'm willing to bet that if that had actually happened and she'd ended up in the same ridiculous sex scenarios as the other wives, his fondness for her as a character would have mysteriously dried up.

I don't think I have a specific moment I can refer to for this, but you also just...get the impression that even though Binghe is obviously the person SQQ finds most attractive, he's still capable of finding other guys hot. With Liu Qingge in particular Shen Qingqiu spends a hilarious amount of time fixating on what a Pretty Boy(TM) he is compared to how the PIDW fandom liked to portray him. Tianlang-Jun, Gongyi Xiao...even Shang Qinghua he describes as "handsome with an air of sleaziness" in his first appearance. I'm not saying SQQ wants to bone each of these guys, but it does make you kind of feel like a man's general attractiveness is something he takes note of. He does also describe female characters as pretty, so there's an element of it that's just...the POV character relaying the other characters' appearances to the audience, but with the female characters he's usually describing them as they appeared in PIDW, and I sincerely doubt PIDW ever took much time to establish that any given male character was nice to look at.

Anyway. I'm digressing.

As for Binghe...

God, even when I'm trying to talk about Binghe I'm talking about Shen Qingqiu, aren't I??😔

The problem with Binghe, I think, is that he fixates so heavily on Shen Qingqiu to the point of obsession. Like, sure, it's hard to imagine Binghe (as we know him in SVSSS) being attracted to a woman, but it's equally hard to imagine him being attracted to a man that isn't Shen Qingqiu. He just has such singular focus on the person he's fallen for that you might just as well label him "shizunsexual" as anything else.

So if you heard that he married a man in one timeline and a bunch of women in another, and took this information in isolation, you probably could conclude that Binghe is a bi/pan dude who just got really invested in one specific person to an extent that it permanently blinded him to anyone else he might have otherwise shown an interest in, and that this one specific person just happened to be a man.

However, I do think it was MXTX's intention for Binghe to be specifically read as gay, and not just because she's a BL author with a fondness for making her romantic leads only ever have feelings for one single person (and by extension, one gender) in their lives. The Bing-ge extra just doesn't make sense to me if Bing-ge was genuinely attracted to women. And the story overall, I think, makes more sense when that's not the case as well.

Firstly, I want to emphasise that Airplane didn't originally plan for Binghe to be gay. This is a common misconception that I think stems from his teasing remarks to SQQ in the last chapter. In truth, his original plan was for Binghe to not have a love interest. Binghe was supposed to be a tragic protagonist destined to die alone and unloved. Airplane might have added all the wives in for fanservice, and it's obvious that he thinks he's been writing a straight character since he seems genuinely shocked and even upset(??) when he finds out Binghe is gay in real life, but...at the story's core, Binghe having a loving, positive relationship with someone who meets his emotional needs was not part of the plan at any point.

I want to pull up a quote that I think is incredibly telling. This is how Shen Qingqiu describes the scene in PIDW in which Binghe loses his virginity:

The girl thought, "Since I'm about to die, I must leave behind some memories to ensure that my life won't have been in vain. I don't have many days left, after all, so I won't suppress my feelings anymore."

Then, using her weak and fragile body, she pushed Luo Binghe down.

Luo Binghe put up a brief show of resistance before telling himself "She did it all for my sake. I don't have the heart to reject her final wish." He yielded, still half-reluctant, and went along with it...

(Vol 1 Page 143 of the official translation)

Which is just...utterly tragic. I do want to be clear that it's perfectly normal for men to not actually want sex all the time, even with the gender that they're attracted to. Even if Binghe were totally straight it wouldn't be weird that he didn't want to have sex with Qin Wanyue in a life-or-death scenario like the one above. This scene on its own isn't proof that Binghe doesn't like women, but I think it does show that Bing-ge didn't start out chasing women indiscriminately; his very first time was being pressured into it.

Here's the thing. Bing-ge had no positive male figures in his life, especially when he was young. All the men he encountered were indifferent to him at best or outright cruel at worst. He spent his formative years alone with no permanent caregiver. The Meng Mo arc suggests he was on his own until the age of four or five, and that he was regularly beaten on the streets, usually by men. Once his mother took him in, she became his safety and his shelter; it was the two of them against the world. When he loses her, he resolves to join a cultivation clan to get stronger, and is immediately chosen by a graceful and talented immortal—his dream! For the first time, little Luo Binghe allows himself to believe there's going to be somebody else in his life who will protect and mentor him—but then the harsh reality is dumped on his head and he's alone again. His new Shizun punishes him harshly and encourages others to bully him. His shixiongs are only too happy to oblige. His sect leader turns a blind eye to his abuse.

But Ning Yingying...Ning Yingying is naive and a bit tactless and sometimes her interference causes him more problems than it solves, but she's well meaning, she seems to like having him around, and she's the only person who will stand up for him despite everyone telling her not to. In PIDW, she was the person he trusted the most during his time at Qing Jing Peak. Admittedly not a very high bar, but he has a friend. And then the others. Liu Mingyan, Sha Hualing, Qin Wanyue, the Little Palace Mistress...these are people who make him feel wanted. Needed.

It's a really interesting and frankly tragic mirror to Shen Jiu, who was also abused by men and for whom women became his safety. It's also interesting in the ways that they differ. He goes to brothels to sleep so he won't be around men, but there's nothing to suggest Shen Jiu actually turned to having sex with women for comfort in the way that Binghe did. Shen Jiu closes himself off completely from forming relationships with other people, even superficial ones, while Binghe can't seem to stop forming new connections, even if they never manage to satisfy him in the way he really wants.

I think the members of the harem have varying levels of genuine care and love for Binghe. Unfortunately we don’t have the benefit of their POV and we only have brief allusions to what their individual relationships with Binghe were like in PIDW. Breaking down my exact thoughts on each wife would make this essay even more bloated than it already is and wouldn’t add much overall, but in general, I do think most of them were at least physically attracted to him. Some may have married him for political or social advantages, especially once he started to amass power and…eliminate their other options. Some might have wanted the safety and protection that came with being the Saintly Ruler’s wife. I think a good chunk of them were, consciously or not, using him in some way—but Bing-ge is so desperate for human connection (or at least a parody of it) that he doesn’t really care, especially as he spends more and more time using Xin Mo. If he's being taken advantage of, it’s not like he doesn’t have the resources to support it.

But there must have been women in the harem who genuinely loved him, who wished they could be more to him than just an interchangeable face in the crowd. There must have been women whose personalities meshed well with his. Women who earned his trust and his loyalty. Women whom, if Binghe were somebody with the capacity to have romantic feelings towards women, he would have fallen in love with.

And yet, all it took was a few days with Shen Qingqiu to change everything.

Now, I don’t think Bing-ge in the extra was gearing up to give up his harem unprompted. He wanted SQQ to come back with him. I do think that if Bingmei had simply never returned and provided a way back, Bing-ge wouldn’t have regretted the loss, and I also think that if SQQ had gone back with him to join the harem, Bing-ge would have never looked at another woman in his life, but these things aren’t outright stated in canon so I can’t in good conscience present them as indisputable fact. The fandom is pretty consistent on the belief that Bing-ge goes home with his worldview shaken and develops an obsession with SY, and I think that too, but the fact remains that we will never really know for sure how he moves on from that experience. I'm pointing all this out because I really do want to give mspec Binghe as much benefit of the doubt as I possibly can.

But god…I really just don’t see how it’s possible to read the Bingge vs Bingmei extras without coming to the conclusion that Bing-ge is a gay man who is experiencing a genuine positive connection with another man for the first time in his life. He’s hostile and standoffish when he doesn’t know what’s going on, but as soon as he understands the situation, he melts. He looks at Shen Qingqiu like he’s seeing him for the first time. He starts calling his name just because he can, because he likes hearing SQQ respond to him. He becomes drunk on it, unable to stop. He offers to cuddle him to sleep. For somebody who has never had intimate relations with a man before, he doesn’t even hesitate to start seducing him once he understands the situation. Everything is just perfect—right up until SQQ sees through his deception and the facade crumbles.

I don’t think Bing-ge knew he was gay before this point. How would he? Who could possibly have been a focal point for these feelings? The only male friendship we know he had was with Mobei-Jun, and even though Mobei-Jun is also a MLM, he’s not exactly Binghe’s type and they just don’t have the kind of dynamic Binghe needs in a relationship. He’s spent his entire life being the strong one, the one who saves the maiden, the one who carries the weight of the world on his back. So the relationship he truly craves, even if he doesn’t realise it, is one where he gets to be doted on and cared for. Where he gets his hair braided.

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226 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

im finally reading tgcf

381 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

518 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lowkey amused when fic writers make lwj complain about or otherwise express discomfort over eating wwx’s spicy food as if wwx didn’t fully believe right up until the fucking yi city arc that lwj loved spice. that motherfucker would have gone to his grave without ever letting wwx know that their palates were completely incompatible. In an AU where the juniors never got corpse poisoning Wwx surprises his husband one night when he gets home from training like “Lan Zhan, I made you some spicy pork and noodles 🥰🥰🥰 you’re always doing the cooking so tonight I wanted to treat you🥰🥰🥰have as much as you like!🥰🥰🥰are you excited?!” and lan wangji just gives him the sweetest smile ever to grace the face of a mortal man and goes “mn” and sits down and proceeds to eat what is essentially just a bowl of straight chilli oil without losing his composure once

842 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post tw

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