#re: **** i'm being so normal about it i'm smiling and saying have fun visiting your long distance girlfriend. whose name is my deadname. :)

[tackrusso]

i'm like i have nothing to be stressed about and then i'm having a breakdown in the car and then i'm like oh okay maybe i do have things to be stressed about

[lackeyhenchman]

I keep struggling with how to balance relevant/brief/useful on this one, god. So many factors played into it, but a lot of it is so personal and not very relatable!

I’m sure that turning 30 during whatever Covid did to us hasn’t hurt. Everyone is freaking out, pivoting, re-evaluating, and I have very little ambiguity left about who I am or my place in the world or how I'm perceived. Also: my skin is clearer so I feel sexy and like I can do anything. The social crutches I was using became unstable, so now I HAVE to try new things. The vibe is “if I ever want to do this, I better learn it now”.

Other thoughts:

I got tired of the weird, superficial, heartbreaking relationships I kept getting into by avoiding connection. I realized I was waiting for something deeper to happen, with no plan on how to get it started. I hit the point where I'd rather go down swinging than keep waiting.

Lots of safe opportunities to practice that have easy exit scripts. Internet presence. Every 50+ woman in my life follows me around the room when I visit. My friend who makes wild life choices got me behind the scenes at a furry convention, which as we know is full of the nicest people on the planet. As long as I keep tabs on when my smile starts turning into a threat display, I know when to gracefully retreat.

Being an adult with an adult life ("adulting") opened up a gajillion new mundane things to talk about. VITAMINS. GUTTERS. PAYING BILLS ELECTRONICALLY

Being naturally curious/nosy makes it easy to use questions to keep the conversation up in the air like a hackey-sack. If someone says they do something I barely know anything about? EVEN BETTER. There's a thrill to uncovering what makes someone special and getting to say "oh my godddddddd that's awesomeeeeeuhhh"

It makes people feel good. Sometimes I'm surprised by how easy it is to make someone feel heard. Lots of people are grappling for security right now, and it doesn't seem to take much as I thought it would to provide them some relief. They're more scared of you than you are of them, etc. Plus it's fun to fucking WILD OUT over their good news!

Unfortunately I also really like screwing with people. And unfortunately it really hits the best when you drop something weird 2/3rds into a normal conversation.

(this one is obnoxious, but) I decided to start believing people when they say nice things about me. OF COURSE you're more eager to socialize when you think your presence is contributing something. People also seem to like me more the less I pre-emptively act like they wouldn't like me. Weird how that works.

Thinking WWxD?-- My husband is great at sharing his interests and caring about yours. My family is super non-reactive and easy to get along with. I've met a few people who can get you to admit to murder just by projecting a lack of judgment. (I'm dubious on the last one's ethics/long-term viability, but worth mentioning.)

One of my crutches was the knowledge that I scare people. My rationalization for never learning how to initiate was that I didn't want to "corner" people. But this is also lazy and avoidant, and it leads to very few rewarding interactions. When you stop fooling yourself into thinking you're "just really really patient", you suddenly begin having way more interesting experiences.

People can treat you really badly when they're scared of you. Their anxiety about you also eats them alive when left in isolation. Want to avoid this.

It's fun to build a muscle! Failures are good and normal. It's okay to suck, and it's okay to make mistakes with people who love me OR who I'll never see again, and frankly I don't suck as much as I thought I did, and when I'm finally good at it I'll get all the chicks etc.

Most importantly, failure is still insulating me from a lot of the hard work. Turns out normal people don't instantly hire you as their therapist the second you show interest in them! I ain't that special! Also I still suck at this! Oh my god it's so good to suck

It would not be cool to go through your WHOLE life with an inherent need to socialize. But it would be very useful.

I spent way too long thinking that socialization was a thing you did to make other people happy, but for me it was usually tiring and got in the way of doing cool stuff by myself that nobody else cared about. Now that I’ve figured out how to enjoy it I’m in deep trouble, haha… my understanding is that people get addicted to this sort of indulgence

[battymommastuff]

The Beginning

Prompt: Life after the events of False Reality. Everyone was ready to move on, but you weren't. You needed your family back, and you finally figured out how to do it. You were going to get them back...no matter the cost.

It's been almost a year now, since the day you released the town you took hostage. You kept your head down, and avoided being noticed. You along with Damian moved out to a peaceful countryside where you wouldn't be bothered if you were spotted, by the media.

Your son thought that you had moved on, and started focusing on healing yourself....

You have been doing the opposite...

Night after night you were hovering over your son while he slept, combing through every memory of his mind trying to get every word he read from that book that Klarion had. You knew the book contained more about your powers, and it could have the answer to get your family back. Apart of you felt horrible for doing this to Damian, but you couldn't think clearly.

John held his promise to Bruce this time. He regularly checked on you, and helped you with your powers now that you've unlocked your full potential. Every time he tried to get the sparkle back in you eye, but it was just a soulless void. Anytime you smiled it was fake.

Now you were tired of sitting around. You were sick of sitting in the same rooms, and living a normal life when nothing about you was normal at all. It was time you took back the life that was taken from you.

During the times of John's visits he would briefly mention being apart of a team of time travelers. He talked about how they protected the timeline, and sometimes changed it if needed. All of his stories sparked an idea in your mind. It was stupid...and could end very badly, but it was a chance you had to take.

"Pocus? I have a question." You asked John as you handed him an ashtray so he would stop getting ash on your carpet. He took the ashtray then turned towards you. It'd been so long since he heard his nickname come from you. Honestly that was the most you've spoken to him since he started visiting you.

"Anything Hocus."

"Could I join the team...the Legends?" You ask biting your lip. John frowned hearing that question. Normally he would be all for you joining the team. Having someone in the same area of power as him would have been nice. Also having one of his closest friends with him would be much more fun.

"I'm not a fool Y/N. You can't change the past love...at least not this one." He replies standing up. You clench your jaw at his rejection then slammed the cup you were drinking out of while standing up as well.

"Why not?!? You said yourself that not all events in time were fixed points. What if that night isn't one? I could bring them back!" You exclaimed throwing your hands up.

"Yes, you could...but you could erase this version of you from time! Or worse! That one change could cause many drastic effects Hocus!"

The arguing startled Damian who quickly ran back into the house, "Ummi? Is everything alright?" He asks ready to fight John if needed.

"Everything is fine Damian...John was just leaving." You say glaring into John's eyes. He glares right back at you before opening a portal and stepping through.

Later that night you were sitting on the porch of your home staring up at the sky. Ever since John left you hadn't stopped thinking of a way to get your family back. You knew that you could just use your powers to take you back in time, but now John was expecting you to do that. You knew that as soon as you vanished from this time period, John would comb through every second of the previous years searching for you.

Damian walked outside to sit with you, "Ummi? I'm worried about you. You don't seem like yourself anymore. I know what has happened is the main reason, but something about you is not the same. It worries me." He says as he holds your hand in his.

You look over at him then an idea hits your mind. It was bad...very very bad, but what other choice do you have. You smile softly resting your hand on his head and pull him into a hug, "My sweet boy, I'll be just fine..." You whisper as your eyes slowly turn black. You pull away before standing up, and walking into your yard. You turn to your son as black magic envelops your skin, "Forgive me Damian..." You whisper then blast your son with magic causing him to vanish in front of your eyes.

Damian felt his body being thrown around before he landed in the woods. He looked around frantically trying to figure out what happened to him, and where he was. He heard voices in the distance and started making his way towards them.

His eyes widened as he watched a horse and carriage go by him then a couple wearing clothes that didn't match the time he was from...

"Ummi...what have you done?" He whispers backing up. He had no clue where he was...and now he didn't know when he was...

[tiens-letters]

with these hands, I vowed to love you

with these hands, I vowed to care for you

and with these hands, I ruined you

Childe (angst)

tw : slight gore and just pure pain

...

It was that time of the year again, going back to the snowy region was a bliss for you. Having to visit your fiancée's family was an unspoken tradition after he introduced you to them. They practically took you in as one of them immediately, especially that little angel brother of his.

Teucer.

The train ride was comfortable , the window giving you the familiar beauty of the snowy landscape of snezhenaya. It was snug inside the rather spacious compartment Childe rented out, even when you told him that you'd rather share a normal one due to your thrifty nature he'd shrug it off, claiming it that he has too much mora and nowhere to spend it on other than you.

Gifts from him would scare you as you knew these weren't anywhere cheap. Everything he gave was expensive, he loved showering you in gifts and it made you feel so overwhelmed.

"Ajax, you're spending too much." you were visibly sweating beside him as he picked out another one of the dresses on display at the local boutique of Liyue.

"I think this one would suit you better, don't you think so love?" of course he wasn't listening, placing the dress in front of you

"Ajax." you frowned at him

" I just want to spoil you." he whines

"I know but sometimes its just..." you stopped yourself before saying anything further in fear of offending him

"Was it too much again?" the tone in his voice softens as he puts back the dress, he knew how you didn't like that habit of his, formed from the first time he saw you down by the docks.

"One dress, Ajax. One is enough since you picked it out for me." you gave in not wanting to see him so dejected, he immediately brightens up as he pecks you on cheek before rushing off to a different aisle of clothing. Sighing, you sat down on the sofa present in the shop, watching the ginger decide thoroughly of what dress to buy.

But of course, your love for one another runs deeper than things bought off gold nor silver. No, it ran deeper than anything else, rivaling the oceanic depths.

"What are you thinking about hmm?" he hums below you, head resting against your lap.

"Im just happy to be visiting again, that's all." you smile, nimble hands brushing through his soft hair "Sleep well?"

"You bet I did." he grins taking your hand and placing a kiss to your beating pulse and then another and another, showering you in his deeply rooted affection. Soon his kisses reached where they are supposed to belong, those soft lips of yours and then inching their way to the sensitive spots on your neck, leaving marks only he can place on you.

Breathless and bothered, you pushed him back "The attendants are gonna see, you idiot." at least you still had some control in you

"They will only arrive when we call them , so its fine to have a little fun before we arrive." there was that sly grin of his as he continued in where you both left off, ears perking to hear more sounds exclusively for him and him only.

"You horny bastard!"

...

It was cozy by the hearth, you and his siblings huddled together in one single fleece blanket, steaming cups of hot cocoa in hand. Childish giggles and hushed stories erupted amongst you. Teucer having wrapped in your arms as he snuggled closer. Anthon and Tonia flanking your sides.

"Hey, who's fiancé do you think you guys are coveting?"

"Oh don't be like that, your siblings just miss them." his mother chided from the couch where she sat, an open book on her lap, she didn't seem to age and always looked so young that at first you were shocked to have been introduced to her.

"But mom, I haven't seen her all day." her son pouts as if he were still a child denied his candy

"Give me a break, you're always clinging onto her you know." his sister rolls those identical thalassic eyes at him "You wont die if you go a day without her."

"Listen here you little---"

"Ajax." you interjected, as much as you enjoy the siblingly banter of theirs, you cant have them going at each other with offensive words. His pleading gaze aimed at you as he practically begged for you both to go home.

"Please?"

"After I put Teucer to bed." you sighed, standing up with the youngest in your arms

"Seriously this guy." his sister groaned "I was having a good time."

"Tonia dear, we can continue our conversations tomorrow." you winked at her, it was a promise

"Fine."

Both of you bid farewell to his mother and made your way towards Teucer's room and tucking him in.

"Happy?" you turned to your fiancée, a narrowed look in your eyes as he grinned beside you

"Of course, sweetheart!" he pecked your lips as he pulled you closer

"Can you not do it in Teucer's room? Have some shame." his siblings' comments were endless, this time it was from his older brother.

"That's why were going home." Childe picked you up as you made a surprised yelp making the other party roll his eyes "Also, get ready to lose tomorrow brother. I'm getting that white deer for my lady."

"I'm looking forward to it."

The walk was short towards Childe's home as he preferred living alone. It was a grandiose manor and you were sure you will never get used to how big it was and filled with such furnitures of the finest quality.

"Well, how was your day darling?" you hummed, arms snaking around his neck

"Oh you wouldn't believe it."

...

It was there.

You felt it in the cold breeze that wafted into the room.

A shift in the flow of the wind, it was different yet familiar at the same time. Leaving the window open as the harsh temperatures of the night climbed and crawled inside. The curtains danced in the turbulent current of the gale, carrying songs only you could hear. Songs that made mountains tremble and build civilizations at the same time.

there was something foreboding, something terrifying and something heavy and dark that devoured anything in its path.

You heard him first before he came in through those doors, that tousled ginger hair of his caked with melting snowflakes in the warm glow of the lamps. His rugged appearance caused by the hunting competition between him and his older siblings induced his worn out state. That soft yet jaded smile of his was what welcomed you as he trudged inside the bedroom, lazily discarding his clothes on the basket for dirty laundry and entering the bathroom for a quick shower.

"why is the window open? " he asks you, sliding inside the warm covers

"I just wanted fresh air ." you smile as you shut the windows and pull the blinds enough for you to see the moon that hung above the sky. Joining him under the covers, you cradled him, his head resting on the crook of your neck. Your hands finding their way into those soft locks of his , entangling them as he hummed softly against you. Those arms of his that held weapons and skin littered with scars both old and new now held you close, so tenderly as if he'd never taken a life before.

"sing me a song, sweetheart. " his queries were simple yet genuine

"of course." you sang until you equated him to a sleeping newborn

It was warm, so warm that you could have mistaken it for a summer afternoon in Liyue, resting on the couch with silken pillows and window showcasing the view of the harbor below. The steaming cups of soothing tea Beidou would brew for you when nights became cold at times she would pay you a visit after trading that would take weeks, months and rarely years.

you slept.

Why is it cold? you wondered, Did Ajax open the windows?

You were blessed by the tsaritsa so such climates shouldn't matter to you.

You woke up.

A shadow was cast over you by the man youve sung to sleep. Virulent blue eyes looked at you with so much abhorrence, for a second you couldnt recognize them and thought it was a stranger to which you were ready to terminate.

"Ajax?" your voice was hoarse, as you slowly lost the feeling in your lips.

He was crazed, still trapped in that dreaming state of his, drifting between experiences. Today was a re-enactment of a memory he would never speak of, not even to you. There were parts of him he'd never tell you, such a soul as yours should never hear.

You choked and coughed as the metallic taste of mortal ichor filled your throat. How could you have not felt anything earlier? Was it because of your futile attempts to coax Ajax back into reality or was it because of the numerous thoughts your mind came up with to he answer as to why he is in such a virulent state. Excruciating pain filled your whole body as you writhed and struggled under his grip. It felt as if something was being ripped out of you.

"Ajax, darling come back to me." you cried, it took so much to even utter a word as you bled out, you know not where but you could feel it. The liquid vital for your survival was seeping out of you, flowing like a lazy river on an autumns day, only that it was warm, sticky and addicting.

"Ajax?" a hiss comes from that mouth, he cringes as you freed your numb hands to hold his face and he let you, seeing as to there was no point in stopping you as you dangerously danced on a tight rope of life and death. You couldn't tell in that delirious disposition of yours if his eyes were shifting between Ajax or the primal eyes of a beast hunting its prey.

It wasn't too late was it?

But why didn't your eyes meet his?

Who snuffed out all the lights?

"I've abandoned that name a long time ago."

The cold took over you completely, freezing you until you broke under his touch with words left dying in your ichor filled lips

and then fear was the last thing you felt.

fear that he might not return to his sweet, charming self.

fear that he will curse everything in his path.

fear that he might attempt to use different various methods to bring back what was lost

and fear of his ruination.

you care not for your death, even in your last minutes of life, you dare not blame him for what he's endured so far. only wishing he never had to experience such in the first place.

This is what the wind warned you about in its lullaby.

...

Childe woke up for the second time.

Oddly more worn out than the day before, but your songs always worked, how come? . He wondered if you left to make breakfast as the covers felt empty as he reached out for you. No, you were a late riser, always having to slumber in the middle of the warm covers of the bed you both share. It was he who mostly did the cooking in the morning. So your presence gone was a displacement in the moment of his waking.

His eyes had to adjust to the view of the room as he sat up, a yawn escaping his lips as he called for you. The pitter-patter sound of the water on the bathroom tiles were non-existent as he strained his ears to hear for any trace of you.

"What..." he was confused as to why the room was trashed, furniture broken in half and strewn about the room, the drapes shredded and laying on the floor and the mirror shattered to pieces, shards sharp enough to cut through skin yet he slept through such a thing?

his first concern was your safety as you had not been present in the room and it him.

the heavy stench of blood lingered in the air. His enjoyment for such things turned into something suffocating because blood was never shed in his own home nor in his very room. In the state of confusion, something dark caught his peripheral vision. A large blemish in the covers beside him, it was dyed a deep dark crimson and he knew well what it was. He began to shake in worry, telling himself not to panic until he finds you safe. All he could remember was you singing him to sleep, held captive in your soft arms, encased in your warmth, so how did it come to such a morning that looked like a result of a monster's tantrum. He calls out for you, his bare feet on the floor as splinters punctured them and he didnt care. he had to find you.

The hallways looked haunting, the portraits on the walls taunting him and he swore he was going lose it if he hadnt found you sooner, every room was achingly vacant and it felt like a dream. He calls for your name again in a frenzy as he rushes through the place, had the mansion been this big? he thinks as he runs down the stairs.

There in the fireplace, the dying embers of fire lit from the night before, wood giving away and turning into coal as the burning smell mingled with similar stench that engulfed the bedroom, the same dark liquid on the sheets was present as well, only that it was painted into the wall and bled down creating a cascading waterfall.

Because there you were, with arms spread out as if welcoming each and every sinner for solace and blessing them with forgiveness, the drying mortal ichor behind you creating a halo. Your lips upturned into something soft as if you'd do anything disgraceful to keep the effeminacy on a soul lost to ruin.

an angel crucified.

that oh so heavenly face of yours could rival anything beautiful, even statues would crumble under you, nations would go to war for you and bodies of those who want you would turn into a throne built for you and you only. You were immortally ethereal even in death.

Ajax, dear sweet Ajax felt his legs give away, energy having siphoned from him as he trembled so much that it could rival the mountains when they shook. Thalassic eyes, wide blown into grief, anguish and all other emotions crashed against him like strong waves that could drown anyone caught up in it. He knelt as pain spread through him like wildfire, burning, scorching and killing. Agonized cries filled the room and if someone were to pass by, they couldve mistaken it for a dying animal. He gasped and choked on his own breath as he dared to look at you, the tears freely flowing from his eyes, down to his pale cheek and finally falling off his trembling chin to be hungrily absorbed by the carpeted floor that was also tarnished by ichor.

He felt crazed as he wept and in that moment of insanity, he remembered. That most disgusting sin he's ever committed that he should never be pardoned for in the life he has right now and the next ones he will be in. Through the blur of tears, he saw his hands and he wished he didnt.

Sullied hands befitting a murderer.

He screams into the ground, doubling over as his hands find their way into his hair, gripping it and ripping out those jacinthe locks of his. He could never forgive himself now and he never will. He wails out loud until his own throat collapsed into a croaking mess.

and then he couldnt find himself no longer.

The sand of time seemed to trickle down slowly. His eldest siblings came looking for him, to continue the hunt. A once peaceful encounter turned into a nightmarish reality as they witnessed their brother rocking back and forth with you gingerly wrapped in his arms, mumbling your name. Lips pressed to your forehead as he prayed and begged for forgiveness over and over in hushed torn whispers as if it were enough to bring you back and cover that gaping hole in your abdomen.

"What did you do?"

...

"Brother, when are they coming back?"

Oh darling Teucer, innocence reflecting off his eyes as he tugged on his brother's sleeve. The toy you gifted him clutched tightly at his side.

"I dont know kid, their mission was sudden so its best to wait. Can you do that Teuc?" the truth about you was kept behind closed doors, only adults can speak of and if they did, it took time to keep the conversation smooth and off of any grief nor sadness when your name reached their tongue. The younger ones would never know until the time is right. When everything was taken care of and hearts moved on. 

Your funeral was held in secrecy yet was it was grand. Something that would hold the significance of your memories with them. It was beautiful, your favorite flowers lined along your coffin, and you. Looking ever so ethereal even when death has kissed you, clad in that dress Childe bought for you. 

"uh huh!" the youngest ginger nodded eagerly and skipped away as the eldest sighed into his hands, the pressure weighing heavily on his shoulders as he worried more and more about his younger sibling. Another memory, a mind broken and a his soul withering. was there any way to save him? 

Days seemed to go by as any glimpse of the man was scarce. Until one day they ceased to see him altogether. It started at lunch, a week after the funeral when it took everyone to coax him into eating more as he lost weight  and trickled down to a whole day. Cooped up in his room, clinging to a pillow with the fading scent of you. and then he was gone, like a snowflake melting upon ones forehead. They grew anxious and thought of the worse until they caught wind that he was back in Liyue from one of the agents only then were they allowed to breathe a little better. 

"Childe, what finds you here?" the calm tone of the geo archon's voice broke him out of his trance

"Have you seen my fiance?" Zhongli blinks at the question of the harbinger, he knew what befell you and yet this man before him seemed clueless enough as to what he committed. How Childe did what he did, he seemed to sympathize with in a way that would make him understand his behavior. 

" I have not." he couldnt bring himself to tell this man the truth. Perhaps he was sparing him, spearing that mind of his into spiraling down into nothingness and a heart that was held by a thin piece of thread. "Perhaps it is better to enjoy yourself while you wait for them." 

To deviate oneself from the loss might be the best way Childe right now until his mind is ready to accept the torment of the heavy truth that would slew this man. 

"I see. " he smiles and yet it feels so empty to Childe, the reason? He wouldnt know or atleast his mind wouldnt allow him to know 

"Ill see you around then Xiansheng." 

Everything that he portrayed lacked and all he could do as he's always did. 

...........

i had to.

I hope yall would get Childe :)

[phoenixyfriend]

Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

[spencers-dria]

Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch.  Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual.  Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up.  It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker.  It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

[trixcuomo]

The Sig Nicious Affair

((Next on Desperate Alt's Lives... Rustic Night Elf Sharpen tries to fix Trixany. Ho boy.))

Trixany: I didn't mean for me losing my Kaja-Cola Girl status to come out this way. What am I gonna do now? I've just been... trying to stay calm and quiet, until the Daily Mail Org drops its final bomb on me by announcing everything to the whole of Azeroth, like one big, giant ker-splosion, my whole life up in flames. And trust me, I did not handle it well, back at HQ. There's bound to be footage. I'm sure my press-on nails are still in President Glim Poprock's grimy little green butt-cheek.

Sharpen: That sounds like a creative injury to get in a Goblin-style corporate office brawl.

Trixany: *smiles slightly* It was one of my better ones. Ugh, now I'm finally done. I don't know where to turn... Usually, I just grab another scandal to stuff the bad news down under something new. But a lot of people have quietly withdrawn their contracts, stopped associating with me. Sharpen... I think. I think I'm socially dead? I mean, it's not a real kind of dead. But. *winces, clutches the front of her shirt over her heart* It still hurts, kinda? *sobs, her little elf voice squeaking* Oh gods, my social life dying is giving me actual, physical pain. How pointless have I become??

Sharpen: *sadly sips his coffee while Trixany gives over to dramatic Blood Elf-style crying* Yeah... We need to get you re-connected.

Trixany: I know! Why don't you lend me one of your used BOY TOYS, Sharpen!

Sharpen: Not Haris Pilton right now. I'm really not.

Trixany: Sorry, when I'm in pain like this I just see her everywhere, in everyone. *spirals back into wild crying* Oh gods, I just insulted my poor, poor Sharpy. He's just a hopeless himbo, it's not his fault.

Sharpen: *sighs at her* Hold on. Hrm. Well, that's not too far off of an idea, you know. *he sits up* Why don't I come up with a way to get you involved with someone that'll knock your rivals' teeth out? Then, they'll have to re-connect with you. That's how it works, correct?

Trixany: You're practically a lumberjack, Sharpen. I don't want to date some she-bear you passed over the last time you visited the watering hole. Not even a cute he-bear. *tears up once more* And bears are so fuzzy and sweet with their big brown eyes. What is wrong with me? Why am I insulting bears now? Ugh...

Sharpen: Yeah, you're bitter. Give me a day or two, then we'll talk again. I'll figure a way to get you hooked up and clear out of your slump for sure. And then you can stop trash-talking everything that breathes.

Trixany: Oh, Sharpen. I don't know, maybe you shouldn't bother. Maybe... Maybe my friends, and Sunthraze of all people, and even Lady Liadrin are right. I admit that it's just possible this vapid lifestyle of mine has come for me in the end. Me chasing something that isn't even real--what is celebrity anyway? What existential pain am I trying to ameliorate by pursuing a fantasy life that could never, ever sate me, fill up my soul, precisely because it is so false? I am a Blood Knight. I serve the Light, an all-loving, humble, selfless power. But I have been so heartless, haven't I? I've only made myself into a walking contradiction at long last. *looks away, dramatic* Oh, don't cry for me! I will repent. I will go now to Light's Hope Chapel and finally make good. What a reckless ride it has been. What scars I've rightfully earned. Good bye, Trixany Cuomo. Me and my stage name had some great times together, but now I know the truth. I shall never again see thee--

Sharpen: Two words. Sig. Nicious.

Trixany: Shut-up.

Sharpen: But that's the good kind of 'shut up' right?

Trixany: I could never, ever date Sig. Not even get near him. You think I haven't low-key tried before? Nobody dates Sig. I mean, he's available, he does date people, but he's the ultimate mysterious band guitarist. Listen, not even Haris ever bagged him. He's far too careful about who he spends his time with. You're talking about catching a tiger in a soda bottle, socially. And, you're in the Alliance, how could you even manage it? Sharpen, you're crazy! Why don't you just let me go and be normal at long last? I'm sure there are lots of people out there who want that. They're unfollowing me right now. That's what social death is, Sharpen. I should go with it, being normal. Give in. *winces* It'll be fine. Tomorrow, I'll blog about how well I enjoy the cherry grog at the Tail and then complain about the price of spikes on the Orgrimmar auction house or something, like every loyal Hordie. Nice, predictable.

Sharpen: Excuse me, my lady. But did you forget that -you- are Trixany Cuomo, and I am an expert hunter? We just need to set Sig Nicious a good enough trap. Let's see...

Trixany: I can't believe some nature-loving Night Elf is about to give me socialite advice. Sharpen, let's quit while we're ahead. Or far, far behind. My whole career may as well be beneath Deepholm.

Sharpen: I know. *snaps fingers* Start a rumor that you're already dating Sig.

Trixany: And then I get sued.

Sharpen: No. Then you hold a press conference with the Org Daily Mail or something to allay the rumors. Throw water on the fire you started. Claim that you're flattered, but then graciously say you've 'honestly never even considered it before, though he does seem nice.'

Trixany: I don't understand. I'm... turning Sig Nicious down before I even meet him?

Sharpen: No, you're not following me. Trixany, he'll rise to the challenge. Come on, trust a man's perspective. A man who's an adventurer like me? Sig's bound to be a thrill-seeker, he's in a rock band. And if it works out, the two of you will be perfect--he performs, so do you. You both live in the spotlight. All the glamorous do's, the nice three-piece suits. We could match. And he has great hair. You know, the height difference isn't so bad either.

Trixany: What height difference, I mean it's not too drastic. We're both Blood Elves? Oh, I see. *eyes him* Look, you need an off-switch for your libido, Sharpen. It was fun when you and I first met, but now you're ruining it.

Sharpen: Right--heh, sorry.

Trixany: But what if he's already dating someone that the world doesn't know about? What if he's not interested?

Sharpen: Trixany. Don't tell me you'd want a guy who isn't interested in you. That's a moot point. But it -will- stick in his craw and if there's any chance you two are genuinely compatible, then it'll be in his nature too. Sig will go for the bait. And what guy wants to be called 'nice'?

Trixany: Well, some guys are just... you know, nice. *green eyes look up, thinking about this* Oh.

Sharpen: Like I said, he'll attempt to prove you wrong.

Trixany: *leans in* This is sinister. This isn't... something I'd expect someone in the Alliance to come up with.

Sharpen: *points, knowingly* And that's why you all lost the Southern Barrens.

Trixany: Damn. Touché.

((oooh this is getting crazy, I'm so excited! LOL))

[cutiepasta-thewriter]

Out with the old

Rated-T for sexual implications

Contains-Harley x Peter

In his twenty years of life love has been a difficult thing to deal with. It never ended well but this...this can't even compare.

Peter thought he was doing the right thing by taking a step back. He wanted to just be there for Jason, as a friend. Because loving him was so much harder when people he cares about always leave.

But all the same he couldn't just keep watching Jason fall in love over and over again with other people. So he took the leap and confessed. Peter told him how long he'd been waiting to say something and how deep this all ran. He poured his heart out and tried to keep from panicking the whole time.

But Jason just.....didn't feel the same.

Things couldn't go back to the way it was and Peter couldn't take it. He knew it wasn't the most mature thing but I felt right in that moment. He ran, all the way to California. To see someone, an old friend. His name, Harley Keener.

Harley was living in a loft above a nice bar that he met with Peter in. They talked and Peter openly admitted he wanted to get away from New York for awhile. At this point there wasn't much left for him there.

Ned and Mj had already left to continue advancing their careers. Mj was in Hawaii working with a research foundation and had also taken up painting the many frantic tourists where trying to get that perfect vacation experience. Ned was in Washington using his technical expertise for the government.

Tony and his family were in California. May moved out to the county side with Peter's blessing so she could live a calm life, she actually lives in the same area as Clint and his family so she's not alone. Peter visits when he can.

Spiderman isn't even needed anymore. Sure, the people love him but he long outgrew being the friendly neighborhood spiderman. Instead he inspired other to take up the roles of protecting everyday people stopping everyday crimes. A few younger heros have been taking that role in hope of making Spidey proud and Peter was happy to give it to them. Besides Spiderman was an avenger, he would be there when the world needed him. Until then he was simply an chemist/engineer working for Stark.

Starting a new life away from all of that was what he needed. Besides, he didn't need to be reminded of Jason.

Harley offered Peter a place to stay and He agreed. Things were better here but there were still reminders about the past.

In an unexpected turn he and Harley had an arrangement. They were both single and liked the same sex so...you know. It wasn't about love of course, Peter wasn't ready for love. This was just friends with benefits. It was a cozy arrangement because they managed to keep sex separate from their normal interactions.

That is until Jason appeared out of the blue. Peter had stopped talking to him months ago after explaining that he could be reminded of him anymore. But of course he'd show up.

It was the last thing Peter needed so if Jason showed his face Peter ran. Jason would yell that he just wanted to talk but he never listened.

One afternoon Jason went to the bar below their loft only to find Harley there alone with the bartender. The blonde man whispered something to the barkeep and ushered him to go to the kitchen area. Then he turned his attention to Jason.

"So, what the fuck are you doing here?" Harley asked taking a sip of his whiskey.

"I'm just looking for Peter." Jason never knew much about Harley but Peter often described him as straightforward and he had to agree.

"Well, as you already know he doesn't want to see you." Harley rolled his eyes as he sat his drink down and stood up from his bar stool.

"I just want to ask him to come back. I want to apologize for hurting him and he's still my partner and I need him." Jason said meeting Harley's heated gaze resisting the urge to swallow.

Harley sneered for a second before his lips curled into a cocky smirk.

"Too bad he can't say the same." Harley said goading him.

Jason knew better then to take the bait but he couldn't resist "What do you mean?"

Harley laughed "It's just that he doesn't need you. At all. He's moved on, he doesn't need to lean on you for support or chase you around New York on your little missions. Besides all that he doesn't even want you anymore. Which is good for you, you didn't like him anyway."

Jason clenched his fists. This guy has no idea what he feels and it wasn't his business anyways. This was between Peter and him.

"But fine. I'm waiting on him to come down anyways. Could be a while though, we had a bit of fun this morning and he needed to get cleaned up." Harley cocky smile and words laced in barbs made Jason want punch the shit out of his smug face.

"So you and him are-"

"Doing the devil's dance. Yes, we are." Harley finished. Oh, yes the stories he wanted to tell this asshole but he couldn't kiss and tell.

Jason was about to actually punch this bastard when footsteps came down the staircase located in the corner of the bar.

The door opened to an elated Peter who was dressed in a nice beige sweater and blue jeans. Immediately when he saw Harley he pulled him into a hug.

He began babbling about his friends coming to visit for a week and how they would all get together for a party.

Harley took the distraction as a opportunity to glare at Jason before pulling Peter in for a kiss and in full view of the other man grabbed Peter's ass.

Jason was shell shocked. He hadn't seen Peter like this in a long time. Smiling like this and actually looking healthy. One of the reasons he had came was because he was so worried about his state of mind. New York seemed to be slowly killing him it turned out. But Jason also wanted him to stay by his side. Now look at him, he's floating around California with guy and completely over Jason. Over what they had, just like that.

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" Peter stifled his laughter "I heard you talking to someone. Who was it?" Peter looked up to find an empty bar. Jason had fled only moments before.

"No one important, just someone who's lost. Don't worry they know where to exit." Harley smiled at the clueless look on Peter's face. "Let's get going. We can't keep Morgan waiting."

[blackhatcannons]

You know how Mr Alan Ituriel joked about being Black Hat's dad. Okay, what if that were true, and Mr Ituriel was his dad and raised him since he was a barely sentient eldritch squid baby monster thing. How's that possible if BH is probably really fucking old. Easy Mr Ituriel would be some immortal that one day was like"yep, I'm going to raise this demon. Sounds fun." But he's the most suburban of dads ever, but never tried stifling BH's evil tendencies, he encouraged them even.

(Continued) Like Mr Ituriel has seen his son kill several men, and was just like ‘eh, kids will be kids.’ He is an immortal that gives no fucks. He is one of the few humans BH can say he’s ‘fond’ of (will never say it out loud) The one time he visited his son, because he’s a proud pop pop of his sons success and see how he’s doing because HE NEVER CALLS. So as a slight act of payback, he tells EMBARRASSING stories ‘Remember when your powers started to come in Hattie? You scared yourself silly!’

((I am torn between staying consistent with my personal theories and completely abandoning them for this great hc. So let’s just say I’m gonna be very contradictory with whatever the fuck I post, because oh man Normal Dad Alan Ituriel is a very good idea indeed.))

Alan, an immortal demi-human with abnormal morals who lives in the Mexican suburbs, is walking by an alleyway or something when he hears some kind of blood-curdling screech

naturally his first instinct is ‘oooh what the fuck is that let’s go find out.’ so he looks in a dumpster, and finds one dead-looking prostitute with some kind of Alien-franchise-esque parasite abomination thing crawling out of her chest cavity. It’s covered in blood, seems to be only made of wriggling black tentacles, and hissing.

“Aww, cute! Come on little guy, let’s get you cleaned up.” He kinda scoops him up with a shopping bag; he may be immortal, but fuck touching whatever fluids those are. Alan casually carries his writhing, screaming horrorterror baby home in a yellow plastic bag, and promptly throws it into the tub.

(Cue the insane bathtime montage where Alan locks it in the bathroom and sprays it with the showerhead until it’s clean enough to touch. BH tries to “kill” him (his hand) several times. Alan laughs.)

Once BH is thoroughly doused, he resembles a drenched eldritch cat, a soggy, angry bundle of wriggling flesh, multiple eyes, and gnashing teeth. He has not stopped trying to bite Alan.

Alan grabs him by the "scruff" and he immediately starts fighting back. He puts him in a cage until BH tires himself out from screaming and pounding at the bars. The two just stare at each other for a moment, silently regarding the other.

Alan sits in front of it and throws a small piece of raw meat into the cage. BH devours it in seconds. Alan unlocks the cage. BH instantly tries to attack him again. Alan puts him back in the cage. He waits a few minutes for the tantrum to end, then repeats the process.

eventually BH realizes he can get more food if he stays still for longer. so he stops fighting back and let’s Alan lure him closer, piece by piece. Eventually Alan has BH practically in his lap, literally eating out of the palm of his hand. With more food in him, he’s calmed down a bit. Alan smiles. Okay, this is pretty cute.

Only Alan would find BH eating cute tbh, it’s quite fucking disgusting how much raw meat has been spilled all over the place

Eventually BH is sated, becoming sleepy and much more complacent. He bites very, very weakly when Alan picks him up. Alan kind of cradles him like a baby, then pets him like a cat. The tentacles quiver. “Weird.” He thinks that means he likes it? BH falls asleep in Alan’s arms. “Cool.”

Fast forward a couple months, when BH exits the “larval stage.” That outer casing of tentacles is basically a cocoon, and BH eats and grows and eats and grows until he goes from small cat-sized to human-toddler sized. Then he stops fucking moving.

Alan freaks out thinking that he’s killed his adopted son after poking him with a stick for a day doesn’t do anything. Then, the outer casing splits open. BH re-emerges from his “pupal stage” as a fully-grown juvenile, basically a one-year old child. He looks like a miniature version of his current form, but without the dapper clothes or any teeth, and with two open eyes. Alan literally squeals and hugs him. BH tries to bite him again. Some things never change.

From there it’s basically like raising a baby, with a couple more eldritch aspects. BH grows twice as fast as an ordinary human. Alan dresses him in adorable baby clothes, not because he needs them, but because it makes him look “soooooo cuuuuute!!!”

BH’s teeth grow in, and Alan has to use metal teething rings when normal plastic doesn’t work. BH’s learns how to walk with Alan holding his hands. BH’s claws grow in and Alan files them down for him so he doesn’t hurt himself.

It takes about a month or so for BH to start talking. Normally he makes little eldritch blurbles that would make a human’s bones melt. Alan just repeats normal words that sound vaguely similar. Eventually BH gets the hang of it. (BH always claims that his first word was “evil”, but it’s his and Alan’s closest-kept secret that it was actually “papá”)

Black Hat’s powers come in during his “evil puberty.” He wakes up one morning feeling a little odd and… shimmery? It feels like his body isn’t quite there, like he’s almost floating outside of his flesh. Then he looks down, focusing on his arm. It solidifies more, feels less fuzzy. He focuses again, bringing the fuzziness back, and watches as it changes

“DAD HOLY FUCK”

Alan is kind of nervous as BH demonstrates how he can turn his arm into an actual, functioning snake. He gets even more nervous when BH starts sleep-teleporting. Alan wakes up with BH on the roof, BH in the garden, BH on the floor of his room, and BH a couple streets away. He always manages to find his son though, he just has to hurry before BH wakes up. (The first time Black Hat woke up after a sleep-teleport, he was confused and scared and started ripping dimensional holes trying to get home. Alan found him about a town over, but it had been quite the scare.)

Shortly after this, BH's "edgy" phase started. ("MY NAME IS MR. WUT NOW DAD") Alan never really tried to talk him out of it, instead just giving him the eldritch version of "The Talk."

"Now I know that lately your body has been going through some... changes, and I know that might be scary. But any, uh, urges you feel are completely natural, and--" "DAD FOR FUCK'S SAKE I KNOW ALREADY, OKAY?? I've been murdering people for like, five months now." "Oh, okay, if you ever need any, protection, or help hiding a body, you know you can always ask--" "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM!"

It's a great relationship they have. BH moves out a couple years later to start his business, and refuses to call Alan (out of pride? probably??) Alan doesn't let him get away that easily, and each year he makes several unannounced visits. It almost always results in some kind of one-sided yelling match between the angry Black Hat and his cheerful dad, as his horrified employees listen on...

[grubhivemind]

FINN: -speaking of impulsive decisions, finn is now at simula's door with Sofia in her little baby carrier. they had just visited his parents, but when he left, he couldn't stop thinking about how simula lives here and how much he wanted to talk to them about that album they posted. he's nervous and his palms are sweaty, but he knocks with his free hand anyway-

SIMULA: -they already saw him coming, thanks to their wicked security cameras. they aren't quite sure what to make of it... and worst of all, he brought his damn baby along with him. they decide to let him dangle for a little while, and maybe during that time he'll just... leave. but unfortunately, curiosity gets the better of them and they drift over to the door to answer, looking positively unconcerned by his presence.- 

SIMULA: Wow. Finn. What a plea-sant sur-prise.

FINN: -his cheeks get a little red at the insincere greeting, but he makes himself take a deep breath- can we talk 

SOFIA: -drooling and looking up at simula. What an aesthetically attractive individual-

SIMULA: -thank you. I know.- 

SIMULA: We can.

FINN: -god damn it. he looks down- i mean 

FINN: i want to talk to you now

SIMULA: -weary sigh- 

SIMULA: II sup-pose you'd like to come in. -moves aside. they were taught better, at least, than to leave him hanging out there, with a baby no less.-

FINN: -relieved and terrified at the same time that simula lets him in, and he steps inside and glances around.- thanks

SIMULA: -shuts the door telekinetically and drifts on over to the living area.- Please, sit. -they won't offer him anything else, though, and promptly takes a seat themself.-

FINN: -he's grateful for this level of civility between the two of them and takes a seat on the couch, setting Sofia's carrier beside him and idly rocking it with his hand for the sake of something to do- about those 

FINN: screenshots and pictures you posted

SIMULA: What a-bout them? -examines their nails.-

FINN: why

SIMULA: Why what? 

SIMULA: Use your words.

SIMULA: Eng-lish or Span-ish will do.

FINN: why did you post them 

FINN: why did you want to humiliate me at that point in time

FINN: i know i 

FINN: did a lot of things wrong over a period of years but 

FINN: what am i doing now that makes you feel like you need to get back at me

SIMULA: -lips twitch in the slight suggestion of their facade cracking.- May-be II don't need a rea-son. 

SIMULA: May-be II just thought it would be fun-ny. 

SIMULA: And it was. 

SIMULA: May-be that's just the kind of per-son II am.

FINN: well it's not it's just the person you want to be to me 

FINN: i know you care about other people 

FINN: aren't you in a relationship right now 

FINN: i think you have to care 

FINN: so it's not the kind of person you are

SIMULA: -crosses their arms, getting indignant now that he's brought up venras.- II am in a relationship. 

SIMULA: We bask in the misfortune of oth-ers together. 

SIMULA: It's great.

FINN: -he shakes his head- no you don't 

FINN: there's a reason for me 

FINN: i know there is 

FINN: and i know i'll never be able to make up for how much i hurt you 

FINN: maybe i'm asking for some mercy even if I don't deserve it

SIMULA: -their lips purse and their arms tighten across their chest, but otherwise are keeping a relatively straight face. well... save for the sparks occasionally popping around their horns.- 

SIMULA: II don't care a-bout an-y of that. 

SIMULA: Why should II? It was so long a-go. 

SIMULA: None of what hap-pened ev-en mat-ters anymore.

FINN: well something has to be making you want me to feel bad about myself right

SIMULA: -goes quiet as they avoid looking at him, nails digging into their arms. this is stupid and they know it. what's the point in being petty? it only feels easier than confronting the truth.- 

SIMULA: You don't-- 

SIMULA: Get it. 

SIMULA: II-- -covers their face with one hand, exhaling- 

SIMULA: It's stup-id.

FINN: -he watches them, noticing the change of demeanor- it's not stupid 

FINN: especially if it's affecting you so much

SIMULA: II don't need your sentiments, II-- 

SIMULA: It... -sparks a little more, shutting their eyes tight.- 

SIMULA: It real-ly didn't mat-ter. II may as well have... Nev-er come back. From Lauc-tis. 

SIMULA: It would have been bet-ter that way.  

SIMULA: II would-n't have was-ted everyone's time.

FINN: -doesn't take his eyes off of them- what do you mean

SIMULA: ... Emilet. -winces saying it, admitting it.- 

SIMULA: You were al-ways sup-posed to be together. 

SIMULA: II fig-ured that out right away. 

SIMULA: And yet II still deluded my-self in-to think-ing otherwise. 

SIMULA: That II ev-er stood a chance again-st some-one like you. S

IMULA: That II ev-er-- 

SIMULA: Ev-en existed. As a fac-tor. 

SIMULA: II'm hard-ly ev-en a foot note in this fuck-ing fair-y tale. -hisses under their breath- 

SIMULA: But it's stu-pid. That II care. It does-n't mat-ter... 

SIMULA: II don't ev-en want to be with him anymore.

FINN: -it hurts to hear simula say that...just imagining all of the pain simula must be going through because of him. it's not like he can argue against it, because not only would it be ineffective but finn wouldn't be able to validate simula in this regard. someone else, maybe. not him. his expression softens- i'm 

FINN: no standard 

FINN: i'm kind of a fucking mess 

FINN: as you've noticed but -he sighs and rocks sofia's carrier a little more- i'm sure that doesn't really help anything

SIMULA: -hastily tries to rub away some tears prickling at the corner of their eyes. sniff.- Obviously. 

SIMULA: It's not e-ven a-bout competition. 

SIMULA: Not at this point.

SOFIA: AAAAAAA 

FINN: -he feels so bad seeing how hurt simula is- so it's everything else

SIMULA: -JUMPS. the sudden baby yelling is WAY jarring. bad sensory shit.- Hhh-- 

 SIMULA: 私は自分自身を繰り返す必要がありますか？ 

SIMULA: -sighs- It's like II said. 

SIMULA: II may as well have not e-ven been a fac-tor to be-gin with.

SOFIA: -she seems to have gotten over it- 

FINN: right 

FINN: i don't think it was for nothing though 

FINN: - looks down again- but my opinion doesn't really matter because this is how you've been feeling and 

FINN: -looks back up at them- i don't see quinne that way at all 

FINN: even if we aren't together anymore 

FINN: and despite whoever emilet chose to be with after you i know for a fact that you helped him open up more 

FINN: you were never in the way and i'm sorry that i treated you like that

SIMULA: -hearing that makes them fall quiet, the energy quickly draining from them, leaving them with little attempts to wipe away anymore tears that fall. it's hard to decide whether they want to take that as a comfort or not, but the apology is nice.- 

SIMULA: ... II know that we... You and II... 

SIMULA: Were ne-ver as close as you were to my broth-ers. 

SIMULA: But II still thought we... -glances off, embarrassed.- 

SIMULA: Were... in some way... friends. Un-till... 

SIMULA: You know.

FINN: -it hurts to watch them cry, especially when he had so much to do with it, but this conversation is necessary. it has to happen for anything to move forward.- we were and i 

FINN: lost myself to a point where that happened 

FINN: instead of working things out 

FINN: i still want to be even if it's not something that's possible

SIMULA: -looks down at their lap, considering, but speaks with earnest confliction.- II... don't know... 

SIMULA: But II do know... II want to move on from everything. II hate that it still has pow-er ov-er me. -winces-

FINN: -he nods, understanding- i'll do anything you need me to to make sure that happens

SIMULA: -there's another pause as they try to consider everything going on inside their head.- This has been... ver-y help-ful. 

SIMULA: II hate to ad-mit.

FINN: -exhales- yeah FINN: for me too

SIMULA: ... -wipes at their eyes again before folding their hands in their lap.- 

SIMULA: Who has been shar-ing the de-tails of my personal life to you that you know a-bout Ven-ras? -asks indignantly, as if finn isn't a family friend.-

FINN: -looks up and pauses- well 

FINN: ryan kind of

SIMULA: -squints into the distance- Of course.

FINN: you know her 

FINN: she's a talker

SIMULA: A gos-sip. -SAYS, AS IF TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF ISN'T JUST NORMAL- 

SIMULA: Do you know him?

FINN: not much 

FINN: i know of him 

FINN: i saw him at ryan's homecoming party

SIMULA: Oh. Right. 

SIMULA: II for-got a-bout that. 

SIMULA: -eyeballs him a little. not that he could tell, given they are pupiless and all. but don't mind them, they're just suspicious of people knowing things about their personal life unless they divulge it.- 

SIMULA: ... Anyway. II have some things II need to do to-day.

FINN: -looks at them for a second and then catches on to what they mean- oh right 

FINN: sofia has a thing -if that thing is being a baby-

SIMULA: -stands quickly to escort him to the door- Then by all means, don't let me keep you.

FINN: -stands and takes Sofia's carrier with him- yeah 

FINN: -heads toward the door- i'll see you later

SIMULA: Yes. -opens the door for him telekinetically.- Give Colt my re-gards.

FINN: -turns to smile before leaving- i will

SIMULA: -DOESNT SMILE.- ... O-K  bye.

FINN: bye -they gone-