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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

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Stark Spangled Banner

Epilogue: His Forever

Intro: Part of the journey is the end…

Warnings: “Language!” Smut (NSFW, 18+) Descriptions of childbirth, slight angst and drama... Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here it is, the Epilogue to SSB. I’m tearing up as I post this, my babies sure have come a LONG way since that first meeting in that little boxing gym. I’m all kinds of emotional and I can’t thank you all enough for reading, re-blogging, commenting, and for loving Katie as much as I do.

And to @angrybirdcr…you are AMAZING. Coming on this ride with me, doing all these wonderful edits, I simply love you!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 61

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

May 2024

There were various ways in which Katie was used to being woken in the mornings. Sometimes it was by a kiss from Steve along with a fresh coffee when he returned from a run. On others, she woke up because she was just too damned hot due to Steve being tangled around her like a koala, years of sleeping together hadn’t changed him in that respect. He was needy. Very needy. Some mornings it was down to a cheeky four year old crawling under the covers from the foot of the bed, settling in between his parents for a morning snuggle, Lucky often padding behind him. And then there were the times she was woken in a way which was most certainly not child friendly, in any way, shape or form.

Which was the way she found herself waking that sunny Tuesday morning, whilst the first light broke outside their Brooklyn home. She was barely aware of a pair of soft lips gently kissing her neck forming an exquisite contrast to the delectable scratching of a beard against her skin, a strong yet ever so gentle hand trailing across her now huge baby bump and up her side and curve of her hip in a way that made her shudder in anticipation.

Unable to stop herself, she made a sleepy noise in her throat and the owner of said lips and beard smirked against the crook of her shoulder as a hand slid between her legs and caressed the inside of her thigh. Still half asleep, she let out a soft sigh, moving her legs slightly, spreading them wider. She blinked and rolled her head to glance over her shoulder to be met with a pair of bright, blue eyes that were shining with mischief.

“Good Morning.” Steve’s voice was thick with sleep and an unmistakable deep sliver of desire, his short hair tousled slightly where he’d been led on it.

“Yeah, it looks that way.” She grinned biting her lip, as his hand moved back up over her stomach. “What happened to sleeping in?” “It’s gone nine, Doll.” he murmured, his lips gently sucking on the spot behind her ear. “You’ve been asleep for nearly twelve hours.” “Not my fault.” Katie closed her eyes and rolled her head to the side as his teeth nipped at her skin. “At least I can sleep this time round.”

Steve let out a chuckle as his hand continued his journey upwards underneath the shirt she was wearing. Much to his relief (for the sake of both their sanity) Katie had found this pregnancy a lot easier than the last one, something she continually insisted was down to her carrying a girl and not an awkward mini-Steve.

She still had her cravings. The food this time being strawberries (in any shape be it fresh, dried, flavoured ice cream, flavoured milk) and sex (which Steve was more than happy to help out with) but all in all the sickness had dissipated by twenty weeks, she managed to sleep better and she felt better, he could tell. She wasn’t half as cranky or emotional as she had been last time and had actually enjoyed being pregnant, confessing to Steve that she was actually going to miss it when their little girl arrived, and it had shown. She was positively glowing.

The day they’d found out they were expecting a daughter, Steve’s entire face had lit up with a smile as large as his heart as he’d choked up that his secret wish had come true, a little princess that would hopefully look just like her momma, with her famous sass and tenacity that he loved beyond belief. And the fact that his wife was there, nurturing and growing his baby once more, seeing the changes to her body again, had made him constantly horny on the low.

And this morning was no exception.

“Not going running?” Katie asked as his lips continued their assault on her neck.

“Its my day off.” He muttered, as if that explained it, whilst his arm pulled her back further into his chest and she could feel his hardness pressing into her back. Katie deliberately pushed back into him, causing him to hiss through his teeth and his hand found her tender breast and gave a soft squeeze, his finger barely brushing over the nipple but it was enough to send a hotwire straight to her groan, causing her to moan loudly.

“Shhh!” He grinned, using the hand of his right arm that was currently situated underneath her neck to gently tip her head round towards him, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. “God I love you.” He muttered against her lips, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I love you too.” She sighed, as his hand slid back down her body and worked into her sleep shorts. She gave a hiss, senses heightened as Steve hooked a hand round her thigh slightly, placing it over his to keep her legs open.

“Sweetheart, you’re fucking drenched.” He groaned, breath hot on her lips and she gave a soft whimper.

“Don’t tease me Stevie, please.” She murmured, pressing back further against his crotch. “Need you.”

And when she begged like that, how could he refuse?

He ground back up against her once before he gently eased the bottom half of her clothing down, shoving his own sleep pants down.

“We’ve got to be quiet.” Katie reminded him, then contradicted herself, letting out a groan when he shifted gently, keeping her leg over his and slowly pushed into her, his hand grasping on her hip. Katie’s head rolled back further as he began to move gently, his teeth grazed the side of her neck gently chiding,

“Hush, Baby.”

Katie whimpered, but did as instructed, turning her face into the pillow, digging the tips of her nails into his arms which were wrapped around her, keeping her close to him as he continued his slow, deep movements, finding a rhythm that was perfect for the lazy morning. He continued to spread sloppy kisses down the back of her neck, and she once more rolled her head to capture his mouth, her breath coming in ragged pants as she neared her release. Steve read the signals and picked up the pace slightly, his hand dropping to her clit and gently stroking.

“Fuck.” She hissed from between her teeth, turning her face to press again into the pillows in an attempt to stifle her sinful moans. Steve buried his face into her neck, quelling his own noises of satisfaction, as he rutted up and forward into her again, his fingers deftly working her sensitive bud as he did so. Katie was powerless to do anything but squeal she felt her relief coming, silently screaming as the lights went off before her eyes and she let out a soft keen of delight into the plush bedding that surrounded her face as she tightened and pulsed around him, pushing him over the edge right behind her. Steve came with a low moan that he stifled by biting down gently on her shoulder, his chest heaving as the world span around him.

They lay there in silence for a moment, the only sound was that of their heavy breathing as Steve ran his hand up and down the curve of his wife’s hip, before it curled around her bump, her own hands settling on his forearm as she looked over her shoulder. Steve lifted his head with a lazy smirk gently pressing their lips together again, more than content to stay right where they were and possibly fall back to sleep.

But it seems someone else had other plans.

Steve’s head snapped up when his super hearing picked up the sound of a door opening across the landing. “Incoming.” He muttered before they shared a smile and he pulled out of her, both of them giving another soft sigh as he hastily pulled up his pants, Katie managing to find her sleep shorts that had been discarded somewhere under the covers. And just in time too, as the door opened a crack and a small blonde head peeked in. Jamie grinned upon seeing his parents awake and quickly made a beeline for the bed, diving onto the bottom and crawling up into the middle.

“Morning, Sweetie.” Katie beamed as Steve moved the covers so the little boy could settle underneath them.

“Morning Momma, morning Daddy.” He grinned, giving them both a kiss in turn. A thud on the bottom of the bed told Steve that Lucky had joined the party and sure enough, when he looked down he saw the elderly dog was led with his head on Katie’s feet where they peaked the blanket up.

“Did you sleep well?” Katie asked, smoothing back Jamie’s sleep mussed hair as he sat up in the middle of his parents.

“I had a dream I was on motorbike.” He grinned and Steve chuckled as the boy turned to his father. “Can I ride yours?” Steve looked at Katie who rolled her eyes. He had let Jamie sit on it in the garage a few days prior and since then he had been obsessed with the damned thing.

“Maybe later.” He smiled. “But first, I don’t know about you but I’m pretty hungry.”

“I want pancakes.” Jamie demanded clapping his hands together.

“What d’ya say?” Steve responded gently correcting his manners.

Jamie stilled, staring at Steve with his big blue eyes, a smile on his face. “Please.”

Then they both turned pleading faces towards Katie and she laughed at the ridiculous resemblance between them. “Alright,” she sighed, “We can have pancakes. Again.”

Jamie cheered. “Emmy will want pancakes too!” He chirped, climbing over his father, drawing a loud huff from Steve as his knee dug him right in the stomach, before the stocky little boy slid off the side of the bed. Katie grinned as he ran off calling for his sister.

“I’ll go start breakfast.” Steve smiled. “I’m assuming you’ll want Strawberries with yours?”

She nodded eagerly. “Oh and some chocolate chips.” “Any strawberries in your orange juice or you happy to have that straight, today?” Steve raised an eyebrow at her, remembering her sudden request yesterday that he blended the fruit into her juice. “Our little princess wants what she wants, Stevie.” She smirked and he laughed, giving her a peck on the lips before he swung his legs off the side of the bed, standing and grabbing a shirt off the back of the chair by the dresser.

“Nice ass.” Katie complimented cheekily.

He threw a smirk over his shoulder as he turned walking backwards towards the door holding his arms out to the side, giving the usual response “It’s all yours Baby Momma” He told her, turning back round heading out of the door.

Katie giggled and looked at Lucky who was now led on his back, all four legs splayed, in a most undignified position.

“You comfy, pal?” She grinned at the dog as his head cocked to one side and his tail began to wag as much as it could due to the position he was in. She rubbed his belly before she heaved herself out of bed and headed into the en-suite for a quick shower. Her back was aching slightly, most likely due to the position she’d just been pleasantly fucked in, but it was nothing she couldn’t cope with. She smiled to herself, her hand rubbing her bump, knowing that their baby would be with them any day now. And, despite the fact she was petrified about giving birth again, she couldn’t wait to meet their little miracle snap baby. And neither could Steve.

Once she was dried, Katie pulled on a pair of leggings, a vest top and one of Steve’s flannel button downs before she made her way down to the kitchen, the chatter of her family’s voices hitting her ear as she walked into the room ready for her breakfast.

“Daddy says we can go see Uncle Buck as I’m not going to Day Care today!” Jamie told her as soon as she made her way to the table. “He’s at his department.” “Apartment, dude.” Emmy corrected.

“Yeah that!” He nodded. “Uncle Sammy will be there too.”

“He messaged before to say he was back from, well, wherever he’s been for the past two weeks. I said we’d pop by later on.” Steve said as Katie looked at him. “Thought we could walk round if you’re feeling up to it?”

Katie nodded, the apartment Bucky had bought was only a few blocks away. He’d only moved in a few months ago as the paperwork had taken a while to complete and then there had been the rather heated discussion Katie had held with Secretary Ross in order to get both Sam and Bucky some form of compensation, not to mention Bucky’s Army severance pay that was well overdue. Katie had gone to town on the man, thoroughly enjoying the fact she embarrassed him in front of a fair few military leaders accusing him of shirking his responsibilities towards two Veterans, and then the new President had stepped in, probably to stop her right hooking him again. As a result, the two men had been given a fairly decent lump sum each, with Katie had doubled using monies from the Stark Relief Fund. Bucky had bought a nice apartment in Brooklyn, whilst Sam had opted to head further into Manhattan after spending a couple of months at home with his folks. Either way, it made both Katie and Steve chuckle as the two men spent that much time at each other’s respective places they might as well have moved in with one another.

“You wanna come, Em?” Katie asked as Steve set a large plate of pancakes down in the middle of the table

“I got homework.” she pulled a face “I’ll probably do a bit then go to Brooke’s. Am I okay to stay the night? We’ll be studying, not messing around I promise.” “If it’s okay with Jennifer it’s fine with us, Sweetheart.” Steve said, placing a dish of strawberries down in front of Katie before he settled into the spare seat as his wife placed a few pancakes on a plate and some bacon for Jamie. “And as for studying, give yourself a night off. You’ve been flat at it since you broke up last week.”

She smiled at him as he gave her a wink before they all tucked into their breakfast. They ate, talking about anything and everything, before Emily retreated upstairs to her room to start her work. Katie and Steve settled in the living room for an hour or two before they dressed and set off on the short walk to Bucky’s apartment.

“Hey buddy!” Bucky grinned as Jamie threw himself at his Uncle, wrapping his arms around his legs.

“I missed you Uncle Buck!” Jamie giggled as Bucky swung him up into his arms, moving backwards to let Katie and Steve into the apartment. Katie undid her lightweight jacket and Steve took it from her, as usual, before he shed his own and placed them on the hooks by the door. “You guys walk here?”

Katie nodded. “It’s a nice day, pretty warm out.”

“Yeah, I’ve been colder.” Bucky quipped, making her grin. He turned to Jamie. “You wanna chocolate milk, pal?”

“Yup!” Jamie grinned, popping the P causing Steve to snort as they all made their way through into the kitchen. Katie noticed there were a few more photos dotted around the place than last time she had been. She’d done the same for Bucky as she had for Steve years ago and dug a few photos out of archives and various places, making him a frame up which consisted of shots of his family, him and Steve, the Howlies… He’d hung it on the wall and now around it were a few pictures of more recent times, including some of him and the kids. She smiled gently as she saw the copy of the scan photo they had given him pinned up on the fridge.

It wasn’t long before Sam joined them much to Jamie’s delight and soon the apartment was filled with chattering and laughter, which in turn filled Steve’s chest with a warmth he couldn’t explain, having his best friend in such a domestic setting.

They ate lunch, as of course Jamie was hungry despite the mountain of pancakes he had eaten, and then Bucky keyed up the Nintendo, passing a controller to Jamie with a grin.

“How’s the job going Steve?” Sam asked, passing Steve a beer as he sank back onto the couch, the sound of Mario Karts filled the room form the speakers of the TV. Steve watched Jamie for a moment, before he turned to Sam smiling.

“Good, yeah.” he leaned back, taking a drink of his beer. “It’s still early days yet but…no I’m enjoying it”

And he was. Whilst he had back in time, so to speak, Steve had trained as an art teacher but he had no paper work or anything to back this up formally. So, with Katie’s help, he had pitched an idea to the Pratt Institute who had gleefully accepted him as a part time lecturer on their History Programme, providing first hand experiences of being in the War and the Depression. Alongside this, he was working to re-gain the qualifications he needed to teach BFA Drawing. It wasn’t full time, he worked Wednesday through Friday at the moment, intending to pick it up when he was qualified but that was still up for debate. They didn’t need the money, it was more a case of Steve needing to do something and he had no desire to join the various military organisations the Government kept trying to tempt him with. Plus, he still hosted a support group twice a week and that wasn’t something he wanted to give up any time soon. Bringing everyone back had, as predicted, posed a whole different set of problems so SIDE had continued to fund groups to help in any way they could.

“You on maternity leave yet?” Bucky asked, not looking at Katie, his eyes glued to the screen “Because, no offence, but you’re huge.” “Thanks.” She glared at the back of his head as he shrugged. “I officially finished last Friday. The Company is in good caretaker hands and Pepper will be overseeing it all so, yeah, that’s it!”

“Just need her here now.” Steve grinned, his hand resting on the back of the sofa behind Katie.

“You need a name first.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“They got one.” Jamie looked at Sam, taking his attention off the screen “It’s…” “Woah!” Steve cut him off and shook his head, “A secret, remember?”

Jamie clamped his little hands over his mouth “Whoops!”

“Whisper it to me kid.” Sam grinned, leaning down towards Jamie who shook his head furiously.

“That’s naughty, Uncle Sammy.” He looked at him, his little brow furrowed.

“Yeah stop trying to teach my kid bad habits.” Steve shot him a look. “He gets enough off his sister.”

At that point a triumphant cry came from Bucky who’s Luigi Kart had sailed over the line in front of Jamie’s Mario one.

“You cheated.” Jamie looked at him, his eyes narrowed with an expression that made him momentarily look like his mother.

“How did I cheat?” Bucky scoffed.

“I wasn’t watching.” Jamie continued to glare at him. “That’s your own fault.” Bucky smirked. “Rule number one kid, never take your eye off your opponent.” “Okay, move over Jay.” Sam shook his head, dropping onto the floor by the little boy’s side as he handed him the controller. “I’m gonna kick his ass.”

**** “But I don’t wanna!” Jamie pouted, as Steve held out his coat when it was time to leave. “I wanna stay here…” “It’s not up for discussion.” Steve replied sternly. “Put your jacket on, now.” “Steve.” Bucky smiled, holding his hand out. “I don’t mind, I can drop him back tomorrow if he wants to stay.”

“Boys night in.” Sam nodded sagely and Jamie’s eyes lit up as he looked at Sam then back to Steve. “Yeah, please daddy. There’s some of my stuff in the spare room from my last sleep over.” Jamie pleaded.

Steve sighed, and looked at his son who was watching him, hope bright in his eyes.

“Honey?” He asked, looking to his wife who merely popped her shoulder in response.

“He’s not in Nursery this week so his routine is already out of the window, he can stay for me, but you’ll have to feed him at some point.” She smiled, looking at Bucky. “Preferably before midnight or he’ll turn into a gremlin.”

The reference was lost on Bucky, but not Sam who laughed.

“Pizza?” Bucky asked and Jamie gave a cheer.

“Pizza is my fave. And Mac and Cheese.” “Looks like he’s all yours then.” Steve shrugged, putting the jacket back on the hook and retrieving Katie’s instead. “Don’t let him stay up too late or we’ll be dealing with the fall out tomorrow.” Bucky saluted Steve who rolled his eyes before he looked at Jamie. “You behave or Uncle Bucky and Sam will call me to come pick you up.” Jamie saluted his dad in an identical way to Bucky, making Katie grin. Together, man and wife set off back into the setting sun, Steve’s arm curling round Katie’s shoulders. As they were alone for the evening, Emmy having messaged to say she was indeed going to Brooke’s, they decided to take the opportunity for a meal out and headed to a little Italian Bistro Steve had discovered on his run one morning. Katie wasn’t all that hungry after a large lunch but she managed a decent portion of her penne pasta, Steve demolishing her left overs as well as his own meal. They then made their way over to a small wine bar across the street, Steve grabbing them both a drink as they settled in one of the booths by the back, simply enjoying their time together, and left shortly before eleven, their pace easy.

They’d made it to the end of their road when Katie stopped, rubbing at her back as she gave a little hiss of pain.

“You okay?” Steve’s brow furrowed in concern and she smiled, shaking her head.

“Yeah, my back’s been playing up all day. I’ll be fine in a bit.”

The continued their walk, at a slower pace, until just as they reached their gate, Katie felt a sharp twinge across her abdomen. She blew out a breath as she rubbed her distended belly through her jacket and then the realisation washed over her. The growing back pain, uncomfortable feeling she’d had all day…just like it had been when she had started labour with Jamie.

Steve was watching her as she looked at him, straightening up.

“I think I’ve started.” She said gently.

“Really?” Steve asked, closing the distance between them, hands falling to her hips.

“I think so, I mean it feels the same as last time.”

Steve’s face was the same mix of excitement and nervousness it had been when she’d gone into labour with Jamie just over four years ago, and he placed a kiss on her forehead as he pressed his hand to the sensor on the gate.

“Let’s get you in and settled.” He smiled.

Once she was inside, Katie sat on the couch, suddenly very uncomfortable. Steve went into the kitchen to find the heat pack, but he hadn’t even had chance to open the cupboard when a loud yell made him turn and run back into the lounge.

Katie was bent over rubbing at her stomach her face scrunched up in pain.

“Honey?” Steve dropped to his knees in front of her.

She breathed through it and looked at him, nodding. “I’m okay.”

“Do we need to go in already?” He frowned. Katie shook her head, smiling. “It’s gonna be faster but not that fast.”

“You want me to run you a bath?” She nodded.

“Alright, come on.” In one easy movement she was in his strong, secure arms as he effortlessly carried her up the stairs.

Fifteen minutes later she lay in the bath, the warm water providing a little comfort until she felt another contraction. Katie counted, and this one lasted for a good sixty seconds, causing her to swallow with worry. She couldn’t possibly be in full labour though, it was far too fast. Taking a deep breath, she lay still for a further ten minutes then another hit her and this time she was unable to stop the scream leaving her mouth as she bent her head forward then back against the rim of the bath.

Almost instantaneously, she heard heavy steps bounding up the stairs and the door to the bathroom opened.

“Sweetheart?” “Steve,” she looked at him, panic on her face, “That’s three in less than thirty minutes. I think we need to go.” “Alright, come on.” He nodded, walking across the room before he stopped dead as he glanced down into the bath, his eyes widening as he swallowed slightly.

“What…” Katie looked down and spotted the blood in the water, spreading like ribbons between her legs.

And then she started to panic.

“Oh God, Steve, there’s something wrong!” “Honey, look at me.” Steve knelt by the bath, hand on her face, trying to appear calm when he was anything but. “Let’s get you out and I’ll call Dr Kellet okay?”

“Okay.” Steve gently hooked his arms under her shoulders and easily lifted her out of the tub, wrapping her in a towel robe, just before another contraction hit her and she gripped at the sink for support, gritting her teeth, screaming in pain as he rubbed her back.

“This is too painful, it’s wrong.” She sobbed as Steve stood right by her side, his arm curved over her hips as he pulled his phone out of his pocket with his spare hand.

He scrolled through and found the number for Katie’s Ob-Gyn that had been programmed into his phone ready. Katie had insisted she wanted the woman was there for the birth, having been her doctor for years.

“Dr Kellet?” He cleared his throat. “It’s Steve Rogers…sorry to bother you, so late.” “It’s not a problem Mr Rogers.” She greeted him, “I’m assuming Mrs Rogers has gone into labour?”

But before Steve had even had a chance to explain what was going on, Katie gripped his arm.

“No,no, no!” She cried, her voice almost a plea of disbelief. “Steve, I need to push…”

His eyes widened.

“Ok I heard that.” Dr Kellet spoke calmly in his ear “Make her as comfortable as possible, I’ll be with you as soon as I can, I’m only round the corner, lucky for you I’ve been out on another call.”

“Should I call an ambulance?” Steve gulped.

“I’ll do it.” The woman assured him. “Just as a standby, chances are that baby’s going to arrive before we can get her to the birthing centre though. You concentrate on your wife. I’ll see you shortly.” “Thank you.” He whispered as he put the phone down and turned to his wife who was now crying.

“Steve I don’t want my baby here.” She sobbed.

“Hey,” he soothed, his hands on her face. “Dr Kellet is on her way.”

“I need to go to the centre.” “Sweetheart, if we take you, chances are you’re gonna have her on the way.”

“But, something might go wrong and…”

“Look, it’s gonna be fine.” He assured her, not quite sure where his confidence was coming from as frankly he was anything but. However, he knew the more he panicked, the more she would so he had no alternative but to put a brave face on. “There’s an ambulance coming too, just in case we need it once she’s here.”

Katie refused to move from her spot in the bathroom, despite Steve’s best attempts. And the following seven minutes and thirty-four seconds that it took Dr Kellet to arrive were the longest of Steve’s life. When the buzzer to the gate finally sounded, he bounded down the stairs, helped the woman with her kit bag, and hastily led her straight up to the bathroom, leaving the gate and door open for the paramedics when she informed him they were approximately ten minutes behind her.

Katie was now screaming in pain as the Doctor knelt beside her, where she was still hovering over the sink.

“Mrs Rogers,” she told her calmly as she snapped on a pair of gloves. “I’m just going to take a look okay?” Katie nodded as Steve’s arm curled around her shoulder. After a few seconds the woman stood up.

“Fully dilated and engaged.” She looked at Katie “This baby is on its way.”

“No I need to be at the centre!” Katie began to cry. “Mrs Rogers, trust me that is not an option.” The Doctor was firm but fair as she turned to Steve “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Straight across the hall, last door to your left.” Steve swallowed, his hand rubbing at Katie’s back as she screamed again.

“We need to get her led down before baby gets distressed.” The Doctor instructed, moving out of the room and picking up her kit bag.

“Steve,” Katie turned to him as the Doctor hurried into their room, “Stevie, I’m scared.”

He didn’t need her to tell him that, he could see the fear in her eyes and it killed him. Not least because he was petrified himself. “I know, Honey.” He gave her a small smile, pressing a kiss to her head. “But Dr Kellet is here, it’ll be okay. Now, come on, let’s get you settled.”

He carried her into the bedroom where Dr Kellet had unpacked most of her equipment and was throwing a plastic sheet over their bed.

“I know this isn’t what you planned” She spoke to Katie gently as she screamed in pain again, Steve gently placing her on the bed.

“Why is it all so fast?” Katie gasped out. “I don’t…”

“You’re experiencing something called Precipitous labour.” The Doctor explained as Steve knelt on the floor besides her, taking her hand in his, the fingers of the other one brushing her hair off her face. “It’s rare but not completely unheard of. Just means things happen extremely quickly, that’s all.” Katie really didn’t care what it was called. All she knew was that the pain was excruciating. Worse than with Jamie, and she had no relief either. And she was done with trying to be brave.

“It hurts.” She sobbed, laying her head against the pillow, turning to face Steve who dropped a kiss to her forehead before her entire body tensed up as Dr Kellet knelt on the bed. “Oh God, I need to push this time, I really do.”

“Then go with it.” The doctor instructed and Steve kissed the back of his wife’s hand.

“I got you, I promise.” He looked at her, his eyes locking onto hers which were wide with fear. “You can do this, Sweetheart.” So she did, screaming as her tears freely flowed down her cheeks in a mix of agony and fear. She had neve felt pain like it, but all she could think about now was that their girl needed to arrive, safely, and to do that she had to fight through her own discomfort for her.

Three huge pushes later a piercing scream hit their ears and Katie collapsed back, and Steve felt pure relief flood over him as their tiny daughter was positioned on his wife’s chest, soft skin against hers through the top of her towel robe screaming as she nuzzled into her mother.

“Steve,” Katie managed to gasp, looking at him as he lay his head against hers, looking down at their baby girl, tears pouring down his face as he got a proper glance at his daughter for the first time.

“Shit, Katie, she’s just like you.” He stuttered, his large and shaking hand gently moving the top of Katie’s robe to gently run a finger down his baby girl’s cheek. She was smaller than Jamie had been, despite the fact he had been earlier, with a smattering of dark hair. Her eyes cracked open, a sliver of light baby blue peered up at them which caused Steve’s heart to swell even more, as their baby snuggled further into Katie’s chest and Katie dropped a tender kiss to her head.

“Hey, Princess.” Steve whispered, as he too pressed his lips to his daughter’s soft head, before he gave a little splutter of a chuckle. “You gave us a bit of a scare there!”

He looked at Katie, his eyes shining as he sniffed. “I’m so proud of you” He whispered softly, pressing his lips to hers, his voice cracking with emotion. “So fucking proud, Sweetheart. Look what you did.”

Katie gave a little emotional laugh, the pair of them lost in the moment, before a loud shout from the Paramedics who had arrived cut across the room. Steve looked up and Dr Kellet held her hand up, instructing him to stay where she was before she headed down to greet them. A minute or so later, they walked into the room, giving Steve and Katie a small nod and a smile as Dr Kellet began talking them through what had happened, neither parent really paying attention.

Much to Katie’s chagrin, she released their daughter to Dr Kellet to be checked over whilst her own vitals were taken by the paramedics. Their precious baby was cleaned up and wrapped in a soft pink blanket that Steve pulled from the packed hospital bag and then, as the Paramedics moved away, Steve finally got a hold of his daughter for the first time, cradling her to his chest, looking down at her as her tiny fist raised by her face, her little mouth opening and closing slightly as she lay safely in her father’s arms.

Katie watched him, smiling as he was sporting the same adoring look on his face that he got every time he looked at Jamie. He glanced up and beamed at her, before Dr Kellet cleared her throat.

“Does she have a name yet?” She asked gently, looking over at them from where she was tapping something on the tablet she had in her hand.

Steve and Katie smiled at each other. Oh, did she have a name, worthy of the Princess she was.

“I think the new baby should be called Nala.” Jamie nodded firmly, his mind made up.

“Let me guess, after the lion?” Steve looked at him, the boy’s Disney Film of choice at the moment was The Lion King. Jamie nodded.

“We’re not calling her Nala.” Katie shook her head, “Although there is another Disney character that has a name I like.” Steve looked at her “Really?”

“Yeah. Remember that night in Scotland when we took a midnight walk to see the Northern Lights?” Steve smiled, he remembered that night very well. And he knew instantly what name she was referring to. In fact, given the circumstances in which their baby had come back, he couldn’t think of anything more appropriate.

“Aurora.” Steve smiled softly, looking at the Doctor “Aurora Sarah Natasha Rogers.”

“Rori.” Katie looked at him, and he smiled again, before he turned his attention back down to their baby.

“The Goddess of Dawn.” Dr Kellet nodded, approvingly as she noted the name down. “Fitting.”

Which was exactly why they had chosen it. Aurora had come back to them, like daybreak always returned, no matter how long the night. It was the perfect name for their perfect little girl.

Steve smiled and spotted that Aurora was getting fidgety, exactly as Jamie had done, burying her face into his chest, rooting, so he passed her to Katie. Just like she had with Jamie, although this time she knew what she was doing she positioned her to her breast and the baby began to nurse as Steve settled on the bed next to her, watching as Aurora’s cheeks worked hungrily.

“Well the good news is both your vitals are strong so I think that we can say you’re okay to stay home.” The female paramedic spoke as she looked at Dr Kellet how nodded before she turned to Katie.

“But you need to rest, Mrs Rogers. I didn’t want to worry you both before but Precipitous labour is extremely rare. In my twenty years of practicing I’ve only ever seen it four times now. You did amazingly well.”

“You’re bound to feel drained and extremely sore so rest up.” The Paramedic continued “The first signs of any problems, call us straight away.”

“I’ll see you out.” Steve smiled at them all. “You be okay here for a moment?” He looked at Katie.

She nodded, her eyes focussed completely on their daughter, and he kissed her head again before he slid off the bed, leaving Katie alone with her baby for the first time.

She felt drained, but also an overwhelming sense of happiness that it was over, and their baby was there safe and healthy. As she studied her baby some more, she saw that familiar Stark nose which was nudged against her breast as Rori fed, and she was hit by a sudden thought. Katie’s head turned sharply to the digital clock that was on the nightstand, and when realised it was, in fact, after midnight a wave of emotion washed over her and the tears slid freely down her face.

**** Outside Steve shook hands with both the Paramedics who gave him their congratulations, both stating it was an honour to meet him, before he tossed his hand at the ambulance as it drove off, and turned, helping the Dr Kellet load the bags into her car.

“Mr Rogers, it is imperative you keep an eye on your wife.” She looked at him as she closed the trunk to her BMW SUV. “That all happened so fast, her body won’t have had time to release the normal pain relieving endorphins that come with the natural cycles of labour.” Steve swallowed, a surge of affection and pride swilling round his chest before it dissipated into worry.

“But she’s okay? You said they both are, right?”

“Medically she’s fine, the baby is fine but that will have been extremely traumatic for your wife, and as painful as anything I can imagine.” Dr Kellet fished her keys out of her pocket. “She needs to rest. The Paediatrician will be along in the morning, I’ll sort all that out. In the meantime, any issues, no matter what time, hit 9-1-1 and give me a call. But for now, enjoy her and congratulations.” She shook his hand and he thanked her again before he hurried back inside. Once the door shut he leaned against it and let out a deep sigh. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how that had felt for Katie, it had been bad enough for him but, wow. Just when he thought she couldn’t possibly amaze him anymore…

He wiped his hand over his clammy brow, brushed the tear from his cheek that he hadn’t even realise he’d shed and took another deep breath and bounded back up the stairs to his wife and baby girl.

“Hey.” He smiled, before he frowned as he realised she was crying. He crossed the room and climbed onto the bed, reaching out to wipe the tears from her face. “What’s wrong, Doll?” “She was born after midnight.”

“Yeah, twenty three minutes past.” Steve looked at her, and then the realisation of what that meant hit Steve like a sledge hammer.

“It’s the 29th.” He whispered.

“Yeah, she has the same birthday as Tony.” Katie sniffed, her face breaking into a little smile.

“So she does.” Steve’s voice was choked with emotion, his eyes misting over. “And I’m sure he’s up there now mumbling something about her stealing his thunder.”

They sat in silence, Katie leaning her head on his shoulder as her sniffles and silent sobs subsided, Steve lost in his own thoughts about his Brother-in-law for a second. This was the first birthday, so to speak, that Tony wouldn’t be here to celebrate. And whilst Steve had known it was going to be an emotional day, they hadn’t banked on it being quite like this.

It was certainly bittersweet, but what a way to remember him.

Steve’s hand reached out, smoothing down the blanket Aurora was wrapped in. “She’s beautiful.” He whispered, kissing Katie’s head the pair of them simply watching their baby as she gave a milky little yawn, turning her head away from Katie’s breast.

“Has another girl stolen your heart Rogers?” She teased, looking at him as she gently rearranged the baby over her shoulder. “Your new princess?”

“Yes.” He deadpanned, and Katie chuckled as she gently rubbed at their baby’s back, before Steve tilted her face round to kiss him softly. “But you’ll always be my Queen.”

**** Of course, later on that morning, once Jamie and Emmy heard their sister had arrived they demanded to come home immediately. So Bucky and Sam did the honours, collecting Emmy from Brooke’s before bringing them both back to the house.

Jamie barrelled up the stairs where he was met by Steve at the top, his dad stopping him from bursting straight in the room to see his mom.

“You gotta be quiet and gentle okay?” Steve crouched down so he could look him in the eyes. “Momma’s had a hard time so she’s a little tired.”

Jamie nodded and Steve stood up, placing his hands on his son’s shoulders from behind as he steered him to the doorway, looking at Katie who smiled at them from where she was led on the bed, Aurora in her arms having just been fed again. Jamie walked into the room and climbed up onto the bed as Emmy stopped by Steve in the doorway.

“Are they both okay?” Emmy asked quietly and Steve pulled her in for a hug and chuckled.

“All fine, go ahead, go meet your sister.”

“She’s all pink.” Jamie peered down at the baby, wrinkling his nose.

“So were you.” Katie chuckled, kissing his head before she smiled up at her daughter.

“Mom, she’s beautiful.” Emmy whispered, her eyes swimming with tears. “Can I hold her?”

“Sure.” Katie smiled, and gently Emmy took her baby sister in her arms, holding her safely as she smiled down at her little face.

Hey Rori!” Emmy beamed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

As Steve watched his family from the doorway, a warmth swimming in his chest, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned, suddenly finding himself in a huge back-slapping, rib crushing embrace from Bucky, before Sam stepped forward, to do the same.

“Congratulations, Punk.” Bucky smiled at him and Steve beamed, taking a deep breath.

“Come on, you can say hi to your goddaughter, guys.” Steve wiped his eyes as Bucky hastily did the same, before the three men stepped into the room.

Bucky leaned over to give Katie a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations.” He smiled as he stepped back, his hand gently cupping her face as she smiled back at him, before he was jostled out of the way by Sam who bend to give her a huge hug.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked, pressing a kiss to Katie’s head.

“A little sore and tired but I’m good.” She beamed, her eyes straying to Bucky who was now peering down at Aurora.

“Wow, she’s gorgeous.” Bucky beamed, before he looked at Steve. “You sure she’s yours?”

Steve narrowed his eyes as Sam gave a huge guffaw of laughter, Katie shaking her head as she chuckled.

“You wanna hold, Uncle Buck?” Emmy asked and Bucky hesitated a little, and Katie didn’t miss the way his metal hand fisted nervously.

“Buck,” She spoke and he turned to face her, swallowing and she nodded. “It’ll be fine.”

Tentatively, Bucky moved and nodded, as Emmy placed Aurora in his arms, a little gasp escaping his mouth as he held her securely, beaming down at her face. He glanced up at Steve who smiled back at him, before Bucky’s attention turned completely back to the tiny human he held.

Eventually, Sam got a hold too, commenting on how like Katie she looked already, before Jamie let out an exasperated sigh from where he sat cuddled up to his mom.

“Can I hold her now?” He demanded impatiently, as he sat up, his arms folded over his chest in a move that made him look even more ridiculously like his father.

“Course you can, buddy.” Steve smiled, moving towards the bed. He propped a few pillows behind Jamie so he was sat up against the head board before he scooted in, and placed his left arm round his son. Sam gently placed Aurora into Jamie’s arms and she lay there, her head supported in the crook of Steve’s elbow as he helped his son hold her.

Steve glanced up and shared a look with his wife as she smiled at him and he gave a swallow as he looked round he room before turning his attention to his boy who was now holding his baby sister, grinning down at the newest addition to their family.

To Steve, it was almost unbelievable, and overwhelming even, when he thought back to how this had all stared in a small, run down gym in Brooklyn. Where Katie Stark had walked into Steve Rogers’ life, across the warn linoleum floor and never left. No matter what the world had thrown at them, they had overcome every goddamned obstacle and Steve loved her now more than he had ever believed possible.

She was his wife, the love of his life, his baby momma, the person he had sacrificed fifteen years alone for.

The woman he would die for in a heartbeat.

His home, his world, his forever.

******* If you’d like to keep in touch with the Rogers’ family, their adventures continue in Stark Spangled Forever

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #katie stark #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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pencilofawesomeness · 4 years ago

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Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love.

Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about.

Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.

There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.

Fairy Dance of Death

by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath )

Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing

「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」

If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once.

It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay.

Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from.

Poisoned Dreams

by StrangeDiamond

Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come

「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」

In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling.

One Word to Change the World

by AgentMalkere

Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back

「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.

In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」

It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.

Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis

by aradian_nights

Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete

「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」

This wrecked me.

I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.

I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.

Life in Glass Houses

by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe )

Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)

「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」

I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.

Yesterday Upon the Stair

by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom )

Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete

「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.

But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.

Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」

As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view.

I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.

the Vantage Point Universe

by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop )

Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)

「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」

// description taken from first installment

Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you.

I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further.

Ghosts of the Future

by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio )

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing

「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」

// description taken from first installment

Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.

The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.

Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported.

Whirlwind

by Lynse ( @ladylynse )

Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete

「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」

I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.

All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!

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snarktheater · 4 years ago

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Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

#ready player two #ernest cline #st: ready player two #book reviews

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makeste · 5 years ago

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Who is the bitch in the first year hero courses most down for murder, do you think? Surprisingly, despite being the only one to actually MAKE death threats, I'm mot sure Bakugou is all that high up there? When you've got Todo freezing people from the inside out, Mushroom Girl choking people, Honenuki drowning people and dropping industrial chimneys on them etc etc... What would your rankings be?

what better way to spend a Sunday evening than by ranking all of U.A.’s first-year students by murder.

disclaimer: I am doing this for fun and this entire post is ridiculous so please do not take it too seriously. also just a heads up, this post contains some recent manga spoilers as well as a couple of spoilers for Heroes Rising. now then, let’s quantify these bloodthirsty little savages.

okay so despite being entirely too plus ultra for their own good, approximately 99% of these kids would never dream of doing any kind of permanent harm to another living being. so I’m just listing the first thirty in no particular order, and then we’ll get to ranking the top ten.

Aoyama

despite having that brief moment in chapter 167 where virtually everyone thought he was a serial killer, Aoyama is actually a good boy. a bit stalkerish, maybe.

Mina

Mina did dream up that one attack where Ochako floats her up in the air so that she can rain acid down on people, which is slightly homicidal. but she’s not a killer. honestly if she was we’d all be dead already. see: thicc Girl Noumu.

Tsuyu

if Tsuyu had ever killed someone she would have already told everyone all about it because she is open about these things so safe to say she is not a killer.

Ochako

all Ochako wants to do is help and support people. she can be pretty hardcore from time to time but my baby girl would never. not to say that villain wouldn’t be a good look on her. I still get a shiver up my spine remembering that one time Toga turned into her and demonstrated exactly how deadly her quirk could be.

Ojiro

nah. the worst thing Ojiro has ever done was throwing his empty plain yogurt cup into the wrong recycling bin by accident, and he felt terrible about it afterward.

Kaminari

real talk, Kaminari could very easily kill a ton of people with his quirk if he actually tried. but he hasn’t, because he is only two and is too busy learning his shapes and colors and leaving his lego duplo blocks all over the carpet for other people to trip on.

Kirishima

do I even have to justify this at all. duh Kirishima doesn’t murder people sorry to anyone who came into this post all excited to read a big paragraph going off about Kiri’s raw bloodlust. I don’t know what you expected.

Kouda

Kouda is probably deadlier than everyone thinks. imagine him commanding, say, a mob of giant hornets to swarm and kill someone. it’s a good thing he wouldn’t actually hurt a fly.

Satou

I sat here for a while thinking about what I could say about Satou. but just. can you picture him killing a guy? nah, me neither.

Shouji

one of the things I like about Shouji is that he looks older than he is, and kind of creepy, what with the masked face and the freaky tentacle arms and all the like. and so he very likely experienced some of that good old fashioned quirk racism growing up, and people were afraid of him and/or thought he would become a villain. but instead he decided to become a hero. and I think that says so much about Shouji’s character. it reminds me a lot of Shinsou; his desire to become a hero was so strong that he overcame prejudice and circumstances which could just have easily have led to him becoming a villain (and in fact, it’s not all that different from some of the actual villain backstories). anyway so yeah no murder for him.

Jirou

I think she would consider killing anyone who ever hurt Momo or Kami, but aside from that NO because she is a good pure girl who loves music and rocking out and putting smiles on people’s faces.

Sero

poor Sero is so not-murdery that when he does get pitted against someone with more murdery energy such as Todoroki, he basically gets immediately overwhelmed and everyone is just kind of wincing and then timidly applauding him and saying “good try.” that’s Sero’s life. he would just sit there and get murdered rather than going in for the kill. he’s a good bro.

Mineta

needs several restraining orders filed against him, but wouldn’t actually kill someone.

Momo

well one time she did explode a grenade in Aizawa’s face. but no.

Awase

now we have come to the 1-B kids. I will give brief descriptions in case you, like me, sometimes have trouble remembering their names. so, Awase! the welding, Momo-rescuing one. he is not murdery.

Sen

the rotating limbs one. one of the least murdery kids in the fairly murderous 1-B on account of his quirk is just too ridiculous. sorry Sen.

Kuroiro

the Tokoyami one. more likely to bore you to tears talking about death than actually kill someone. which is too bad because he honestly would make a pretty bitching assassin.

Kendou

would say she’s probably in the top fifteen. god I love her quirk so much. just want her to slap some bitches to death. but she probably wouldn’t.

Shishida

the growly monster one. he does get some bonus points for tending to lose control once he goes full beastmode and werewolfs out. and he is fairly deadly.

Shouda

the roly poly double smashy one. it’s actually only a matter of time before Shouda kills someone, most likely. his quirk is way too dangerous, and the thing is, it’s probably hard for him to tell how dangerous a particular impact is going to be beforehand. one of these days it’s gonna be way stronger than he intends and somebody’s neck is gonna get snapped.

Pony

never forget that time Pony stabbed Ojiro and Shouji like a dozen times and everybody was just cool with it.

Tsuburaba

the air platform one. he did try to suffocate Kouda that one time.

Tetsutetsu

only if he’s fighting Shouto. or teamed up with Shouto. then all bets are off as to whether or not he’s going to drill his superheated steel fist right through somebody’s face.

Tokage

the severed limbs one. she just has kind of a murdery vibe to her. stalking everyone with her various body parts. yuuugh. I bet if she did kill someone nobody would ever be able to prove it was her.

Manga

the speech bubble head one. is going to destroy so much public and private property once he’s set loose on the streets. but no deaths.

Bondo

the glue one. and nah, Bondo is cool.

Koudai

the Ant-Man one. doesn’t strike me as particularly murderous, I even went and reread her part of the joint training arc to confirm it. she’s fine.

Rin

the kung fu dragon one. not especially murdery. overall probably one of the least bloodthirsty in class 1-B in fact.

Shiozaki

the vines one. she’s extremely murdery. I can’t be the only one who thinks that, can I? Shiozaki scares the shit out of me. if I were Kaminari I would have nightmares about her.

Monoma

would murder every single member of class 1-A if he could. would be the criminal in a Detective Conan two-parter. would give a long monologue about always being the side character and never in the starring role until one day he finally couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. why does his hero costume make it look as though he’s going to steal a bunch of famous jewels out from under everyone’s noses. nah but I’m just kidding and Monoma would never actually kill someone. but one day he’s probably going to be framed for murder by a villain and Kendou and Shinsou will have to team up to defend him and catch the real culprit.

10. Yanagi

the creepy pale ghost-girl-looking one. contrary to what you are probably all thinking, her high ranking isn’t just because of her general horror film vibe, but also because she attempted to bludgeon Mina to death during the joint battle arc. but also yes it is because of her general horror film vibe.

9. Kamakiri

the stabby one. he’s up here because I’m pretty sure he tried to kill Jirou that one time. like what was he even gonna do if Bakugou hadn’t stepped in. though to be fair I don’t think he actually had his knives out at the time so maybe he was just gonna elbow her in the face or something idk.

8. Bakugou

I agree with you that Bakugou is much more bark than bite, anon. and not only is he remarkably careful and precise with his quirk and good at avoiding any collateral damage (and even better IMO ever since his supplementary training), I think that due to his various struggles with being perceived as a villain and also trying to find his own understanding of what being a hero means, he’s probably more self-aware than most of the other kids at this point when it comes to matters of “is this morally okay.” so in spite of his generally violent demeanor, I very much doubt he ever would or could actually kill someone. but he’s in the top ten because his high shounen protagonist levels do place him in the “would potentially go apeshit if and when something happened to someone he cares about” category, though. and also because he and Deku did basically attempt to disintegrate Nine, and then when Nine just dropped off the face of the earth afterwards, no one even bothered to wonder what had happened to him. which leads me to wonder if Deku and Katsuki straight up assume they did in fact kill him and just dgaf.

7. Deku

see above re: Nine. and also he may have to kill AFO one day. so while he probably wouldn’t be happy about it, I think he could still potentially do it. and also because he absolutely does lose his gotdamn mind every time someone hurts one of his friends, and especially Kacchan, and I could picture him just snapping if something really awful ever actually did happen. I don’t think it would in canon because it’s just way too dark, but I don’t think it’d be out of character if he did.

6. Iida

literally tracked down the villain who attacked his brother with the full intent of personally killing said villain once he got his hands on him. true, Shouto and Deku talked him out of it in the end, but still. that was some real motherfucking killing intent. also I will never forget the image of this kid sitting his ass down in middle of the woods and mutilating his own goddamn body without any anesthesia. listen, everyone. just please, for your own safety, do not fuck with Iida.

5. Shouto

and now we reach the top five. listen, feel free to disagree, but I stand firm in my belief that out of all the non-traitor and non-demon-possessed children in class 1-A, Todoroki Shouto is absolutely the most likely to straight up just kill a bitch one day. this boy froze a man from the inside out until a tower of fucking ice was jutting out of his fucking throat, and was all “go ahead and hibernate for a while” like excuse me, THE FUCK. and the thing is, this wasn’t just a one-time occurrence either; he literally pulls this kind of shit ALL THE TIME. froze an entire fucking building with his classmates in it and was all “feel free to bring it on but fighting without the soles of your feet will be painful.” heh. what the fuck. and do you all remember when he fought Sero and was in a bad mood so he iced half the fucking stadium. nearly killed a few people right then and there. “I got carried away.” whaaaaaaat. and I could go on and on; he nearly burned poor Shindou alive, and basically the entirety of chapter 205 could have been submitted as evidence in a court of law had that training battle against Tetsutetsu gone only slightly differently. basically Shouto is an entirely too realistic portrayal of a very sweet but marginally unstable boy with a completely broken power and a shitload of unresolved personal trauma which he is still working through.

4. Honenuki

somehow more murdery than Todoroki “HIBERNATE!!” Shouto. this is entirely because of chapter 205, formerly the most murdery chapter of the entire series, and dethroned only by the recent chapter 266 for obvious reasons. anyway so during the joint training battle, Honenuki bludgeoned Todoroki in the back of the head and would probably have let his unconscious body slump into the softened ground to drown had Iida not saved him. he then proceeded to drop a water tower on top of the both of them. a whole-ass water tower. this was a fucking training exercise. and Honenuki was the only one who kept his calm throughout the entirely of said exercise. and he was praised for his calm murdering skills afterward. because he was fucking awesome tbh. anyway but the point is this is supposed to be a hero school not an assassin school but I’m not really sure anymore you guys.

3. Tokoyami

my man would have straight up killed Moonfish in that forest and sure did try his best. he’s got the same issue as Todoroki in that his quirk is as powerful as it is unstable. and while he himself is not murdery, when Dark Shadow loses control, though… hooooh boy. I was gonna add something about him also interning under Takami “literally stabbed my friend in the neck for the greater good” Keigo, but I think that makes them both come off as more sinister than they actually are. I do think a big part of Tokoyami’s story is him overcoming his inner darkness and wresting control of it and mastering it, so I don’t think it’s very likely that he actually will kill someone in the story. but he’s got a murdery side, no two ways about it.

2. Toadette

straight up filled Tokoyami’s windpipe with mushrooms during a training exercise. he uses that to breathe, fyi. she then offered him a lozenge afterward. do not fuck with Toadette. do not. just don’t.

1. Hagakure

last but not least! Hagakure “hasn’t killed anyone officially but is also definitely the traitor” Tooru! y’all know how it is! I’m committed to this theory! I’d even be willing to put money on a reveal scene where she does just straight up kill someone, and that’s our cliffhanger establishing that the traitor is none other than! and this is coming up sooner than you might think too, guys. Horikoshi brought up the traitor again relatively recently during the Christmas Eve chapter, and that kind of foreshadowing isn’t for nothing. anyways I’m here for it though so bring on that body count you funky little turncoat.

so there you have it. my not-that-definitive definitive ranking of classes 1-A and 1-B by murderous inclination. there’s really not that much rhyme or reason to it tbh but this was fun, thank you anon!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #class 1-a #class 1-b #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #heroes rising spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #bnha meta #bnha ranking

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reeesea · 4 years ago

Text

Something Sweet: Part Four

~sweeter smiles~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mild language

words: 3.8k ish

summary: another week passes, and our boys still whipped? yeah. The boys get kicked out their apartment and go check out some busking, meeting up with some familiar faces.

a/n: Oof school kicked my ass and made it hard to post, anyway... here’s chapter 4

Text: Minho/Jisung

ao3 link

-------------------------------------------------------

After spending the majority of the last week curtains drawn, and grinding away on music in their apartment, it seemed that their manager had had enough of their vampiric like tendencies. She had effectively locked them out of their apartment until they promised to spend the day away from their respective producing/writing stations. Although Sana was a new addition to the trio's life, she had already solidified herself as not just a capable manager but a generally sweet and caring soul.

She made fast friends with Chan, bonding over their similar experiences coming to Korea as foreigners. Changbin had met her when he started at JJP and was glad that she was chosen to manage their group. And so Sana, after maybe too many incidents in the dark tripping over a blanket-wrapped Jisung, would regularly end up checking on more than just how they were doing musically with her visits. Her concern and worry for them as her new friends bleed into their everyday interactions. Whether it was bringing them take out after they had forgotten to eat, waking up Jisung from the floor to go to bed, or just asking how their days were, she always made the boys feel cared for. After years of only relying on each other, they all found it surprising but comforting to have her around.

So as the boys had been lovingly forbidden from working by their manager, they found themselves walking down the popular music-filled streets for busking and tourists.

“Wait what time did you say he was performing?”

“Innie said after one so we should still make it before he starts his set.” Changbin was leading them through the crowds, which was probably not ideal as the inches Bin lacked he made up in speed. Making 2racha’s life slightly harder as they attempted to not lose the shorter boy in the more crowded areas of the walkway. Passing countless acts and performers displaying their talents, reminiscent of how the rap trio had started out when they were still just high school students.

“I didn't think your brother would still be busking after highschool.” Chan mused from the back of the pack.

“I mean he got scouted from busking, so I guess it all paid off in the end.” Changbin mentioned the fact casually, but the proud ‘older brother’ smile on his face revealed his actual excitement. The three were poorly navigating the busy streets to support Changbin’s younger brother who had just been signed with an entertainment company and was on his way to enter their trainee program.

“Nah I get it, there's a different kind of energy performing in this setting. Sometimes I really do be missing busking every weekend.” Jisung had always been the one to only do what made him feel alive, and his first time busking in front of a crowd had him addicted to the feeling. It had given him something to look forward to in high school. And even now, years later he still anticipated the high that the applause from a crowd gives him.

“Oh, we should buy Jeongin a meal to congratulate him. I imagine he'll be training day and night soon.”

By the time they had made it to the area where Jeongin was set up he was already performing a popular ballad for a small crowd. Emotion flowing through the youngest’s voice as it surrounded all that listened. It wasn't a surprise that his passionate voice had been sought after by companies. The boy’s voice, light and dynamic, pulling the attention of all that were within earshot. And by the time the last note was released the three boys clapped and cheered as much as they could without completely making a fool of themselves.

Although 3RACHA weren’t exactly well known personalities to most of the public, the boys had found themselves getting recognized more and more, especially after their last concert. Their following had definitely expanded and those in the area had begun recognizing the rappers on the rare occasions they left their loft.

But even with their masks and hats on to somewhat hide their identities, the young singer still smiled with recognition and slight embarrassment at boys enthusiastic cheers.

---

Minho thinks that overall his week was pretty unextraordinary. Not much had changed, still working his same job, still spending his mornings practicing for their crew’s upcoming performances. Nothing felt specifically special in the way he performed and worked on the routines for their busking performance that weekend. Just following the choreographies he needs to. Going through the motions. This week seemingly identical to the last.

Almost identical. Minho couldn’t overlook how the addition of Han Jisung had improved his daily mood. Even with their respective busy schedules, the banter they were able to exchange lifted the weight of monotony on Minho’s heart. Jisung loved to tell him jokes and stories, in addition to their casual flirty conversations. The lightness of their conversations and the smile that was always lingering on Minho’s face was evidence enough that his encounters with the other had become the highlight of his day.

Even during practice, his roommates had begun to find the older more energetic and enthusiastic. Although the choreo they had been practicing had been the same for the past month, Minho’s movements had become even more fluid and dynamic, as if he was walking on air.

To Minho, dancing always felt like what he was meant to do. He couldn’t imagine living a life standing still or sitting at a desk job. Dancing was as natural as breathing, so natural that he often forgets to tell people that he dances. To him it was just assumed. He was human; he breathed. He was human, so he danced. Obvious right? But with his natural association he had with dance, and his desire to contain the complicated history he had with his dreams, Minho was not one to share his passions easily.

The Saturday morning had begun with the three dancers packed in their bathroom, all attempting to get ready in the closet size space they called a bathroom. Getting ready for their performances in the crowded bathroom had become a dance within itself for the boys, as they position themselves in front of the mirror so each has enough space to carry out their routines. Trading makeup brushes and hair dryers and hairspray cans in a way that, according to Felix, could win them Olympic medals.

“Hyung, will you pass me the hair spray?”

Minho obliged, handing the can to cross-eyed Felix that had been attempting to tame his bangs for the last 15 minutes.

“Damn, do you think there’ll be company scouts out today?” Hyunjin mused while trying to not smudge his eyeliner from his spot on the toilet seat.

“It's always a possibility, there'll be a lot of acts out today, so there is probably going to be some floating around.” Minho knew there were always some scouts in the audiences on busking days, but maybe the years of seemingly no company interest had numbed him to that fact. If anything, he was hoping to pick up a few bucks from the audience, and give their crew some more exposure.

“I guess it is a weekend, the crowds are always bigger these days. Lixie did you send in your tape for Shipstar Ent. that you were working on?”

“Yeah, I’m going to wait for their response before working on the JJP one”

“Those are small companies Lix, you got a strategy you aren’t sharing with us??” Minho nudged his elbow in his ribs, eliciting a giggle from the younger.

“Nothing special hyung, I just thought smaller companies might have smaller audition pools, more chance of landing a spot.” Even though the freckled boy had come to Korea for university, he was hoping to extend his stay as long as he could by landing a career as a dancer.

“You’ve always been the better strategist out of us. Minho-hyung usually only sends in like one tape a year.”

“There’s only one program I actually want to join anyway. But lately money is money, and I may just need to find a gig to pay our water bill.” Minho's smile reaches his eyes, but a part of his heart drops at the mention of his consistent re-submitted audition tapes.

“Are you going to send another tape for the academy this year, hyung? You got to the second round last time.”

Hyunjin asked an innocent question really, but Minho can't help but feel the wave of disappointment all over again. The first round of auditions was always a taped routine sent in by all the applicants, the second was an in person performance. A performance that last year, despite what he thought was a perfect execution of his chosen routine, had been met with a ‘Thank you, but-’ letter a week later.

“It’s a tradition at this point, and who am I to break a tradition.” The sarcasm drips from the statement fueled by Minho's bitterness toward his broken dream. But as always, as if just on queue with Minho’s declining mood, a series of notifications from his phone pulls him out of his thoughts.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung] 11:47 am Hyung guess what SANA LOCKED US OUT And Now were gonna end up getting lost Changbin is leading us somewhere :< His navigation skills are horrible If you dont hear from me, I was led to an untimely death by Seo Changbin Dont cry too much at my funeral :((

Oh no I'll remember you fondly And all the dates we never got to go on

najsdkkgfnadds Hold up you actually want to go on a date …... I will survive for you

Wait then I can't live that grieving widow aesthetic how am i supposed to grieve my not dead not husband now

we'll work something out but I get to take u on that date first not-husband >:)

---

The members of 3RACHA had listened to the rest of Changbin’s brother’s set. The young boy’s audience had grown to include highschool girls fawning over the boys adorable features and melodic voice. As well as older and middle aged women and men that were drawn to the nostalgic tambour of his voice as Jeongin performed trot and other crowd pleasing ballads. His youthful glow and image contrasting the maturity of his sound. After applause and ending statements, much of the crowd had dispersed to other surrounding acts. 3RACHA focused on congratulating and helping the younger tear down.

“You did great as always Innie” Chan awarded him with a pat on the back. Jisung echoed the sentiment with his busy rambling about how emotional the last performance felt.

“Thanks hyungs, I’m glad you were able to make it.”

“Of course! We wouldn't miss it”

“Yeah, it absolutely has nothing to do with our manager locking us out of our apartment.” Jisung earned himself a punch in the shoulder with that one. Jeongin laughed just the same, and looked grateful to have some familiar faces in the crowd.

“Don’t mind the idiot, we’ll always be here for you. If anyone tries to mess with you in training just tell them your older brother will beat them up.”

“But Hyung, you're shorter than me.”

“Doesn’t mean I won't bust some kneecaps for my baby bro though,” said Changbin, brushing off the obvious jab at his height.

“Yeah! No one’s touching our baby bread.” Chan looped his arm over Jeongin's shoulders, hand going for the boy's cheeks only to be swatted away.

“3RACHA aka the Kneecap Destroyers,ROLL OUT!!!” Jisung struck a couple vague superhero poses while making a swinging motion that was probably meant to symbolize some sort of lower leg destruction.

“Jisung, were not the Transformers please.” Still the smile on Jeongin’s face was worth any of the embarrassment Jisung could’ve felt from his shenanigans. -- A cheer erupted nearby from a large crowd that seemed to have just gathered. Loud upbeat music filled the air and the confident melody of a popular song began. The four boys, overcome with mutual curiosity, made their way to the edge of the crowd. A dance crew populated the middle of the crowd. Confident charisma and perfectly timed movements flowed from each of the dancers, as they pulled off a complicated and synchronized routine. Full of hip thrusts and body rolls, the cheers from the crowd solidified how each of the dancers grasped the attention of on-lookers without warrant.

The whole audience was entranced by the crew of a dozen dancers taking over the street. All of the dancers dressed in variations of a black and white ‘uniform’ full of leather, silk and lace, pulling off a look that was elegant, sexy, and powerful. Dressed to accentuate their body movements and draw in the attention of bypassers.

It was mid-song when Jisung was surprised to spot the familiar brown hair and sharp eyes of his current favorite waiter of Menu 98. Minho being a dancer had never crossed his mind as a possibility, but now that he has seen the older dance, Jisung couldn’t imagine anything more natural. Minho seemed to dance purely with charisma. The goofy and cute side of Minho that he had occasionally witnessed over text, seemed to be non-existent as the man in front of him performed to the crowd with raw charm and confidence.

Minho caught Jisung’s blatant stare, and a flash of recognition and something else appeared on his face, before a smirk overcame his features as he sent a wink the younger’s way. The confidence of the older overwhelming Jisung’s system as usual. Sure, they had been ceaselessly flirting over text for the past week, but as soon as he had to witness Minho’s confidence in person, there was no screen to hide the fact that Jisung was a blushing mess. As the heat of embarrassment rose up his neck, he continued to watch as the dancers ended their routine in a formation that elicited a loud cheer from the audience.

“Wow these guys are really good”

“Have they performed before?”

“Did you see the guy in the middle his shirts practically see through”

“Damn do you think he’d give me his number if I asked”

The voices from the crowd surrounded Jisung but his eyes were locked on his newly discovered dancer, Minho.

“Hey Ji, see something you like?” Changbin’s teasing was left unanswered as he followed Jisung’s gaze.

“Hey hyung, do you know that guy?”

“Yeah, He kinda looks familiar.” Jisung guessed he was familiar. Considering that, even though Chan and Changbin hadn’t recognized him as their waiter, the dancer in front of them had been the subject of his attention for the past week or so. Seeing him in person was nothing short of breathtaking. Being a little dramatic, as he often is, Jisung found him almost speechless. His breath only continued to fail him as Minho made his way over to Jisung and their small group.

“Hey Sungie, long time no see.” a shameless smirk spread across his face. Minho seemed to know exactly how he affected the younger.

Before Jisung could think of a more eloquent greeting he found himself blurting out the first thought that had crossed his mind, “I didn’t know you were- that you did- the- uh dancing.”

Minho laughed freely at the wide eyed expression that Jisung wore. Soft and cute and full of the same awe as a kid seeing his favorite TV character I person for the first time. “Seems I forgot to mention that in our introductions, Not gonna lie I didn’t think you would see me dance already...”

An expression Jisung couldn’t quite read fell over Minho’s face, along with the red tint of embarrassment. “Nononono, don’t worry really. I never asked! But I mean you looke- i mean were amazing, at dancing. Really you’re seriously talented. I can't believe you’ve never mentioned it before.”

The red on Minho’s ears grew to his face. “Oh, I’m sure you say that to all your drunken accidents.” Smirk returns in an attempt by Minho to regain his smug attitude.

“You weren't an accident! I was completely sober at the bar when I told you to hit me up.”

“I’m sorry Jisung what?” Chan seemed to be tired of trying to deduce who exactly the other was.

“Oh right, this is Minho-Hyung, he was the waiter I TIPSY-ily gave my number to that one time. But we both completely forgot about it, and then by some string for fate bullshit I ran into him before last week’s gig and the rest is history!” Some degree of understanding flashes across the other two rappers' faces, while the youngest is just listening intently to Jisung’s entertaining shenanigans.

“Mhm, ‘Ran into’, definitely not saw-and-followed,” said Minho, getting more smug by the minute.

Taking the obvious opportunity to tease the youngest Changbin’s eyes held a mischievous glint. “Hold on a second, is this who you’ve been texting non-stop all week. No wonder you’ve been so happy.”

“Hyung!”

“Yeah, your usual chaotic gay energies have been replaced with giggly soft Jisung, and its honestly been worrying me, but I mean the ballad came out really good so can’t complain” Chan added. The smug faces of the older two, only grew as Jisung groaned loudly, flailing his arms to hopefully silence them. Minho’s grin just met his eyes as he chuckled.

“Glad to hear that I’m inspiring you Sungie. Also, It’s nice to finally meet you, Chan and Changbin-ssi I’m guessing?” Minho bows slightly to them as they all exchange pleasantries. Jeongin adds on, introducing himself as Changbin's brother. Minho seems to recognize him, and is about to praise his earlier performance when a yell erupts nearby.

“Minho-hyung!!! There you are, Lixie was looking for you. Looks like I beat him though.” Realizing he seemed to have interrupted something, Hyunjin bowed to the others shyly. Introducing himself to the others until his eyes laid on Jisung. “Wait, hyung! Isn’t he the cutie you’ve been talking to all week! Jisung-ah~ you remember me rightttt?”

Minho’s face deadpans at record speeds. “Yes Jinnie thank you. Shouldn't you be looking for Felix”

“Nope I’m right here.” Felix, seeming out of nowhere, emerges right behind his eldest roommate. “Hi everyone, I’m Felix.” Freckles out, smile bright, cute little wave, the classic Felix introduction that makes everyone fall for him. No one can resist the boy’s eye-smile-and-freckled-cheek combo.

“Felix!” Hyunjin wrapped himself around his roommate, pointed animatedly to introduce the others, even though he himself had just learned of their names seconds ago. “Hehe, and that’s Jisung! He’s the one who came into Sweet Lotus asking for Min-hyung’s number.”

“Sweet Lotus, huh?” Chan’s eyebrows rose at the name of the notorious bar, glacing at Jisung for an explanation.

“Hyung, what’s that?” Jeongin whispers quietly to his brother, only to be immediately answered by Hyunjin.

“Oh! It’s the host bar/club not too far from here. Nothing special, a normal bar really, just with prettier bartenders and some nice company if you can afford it.” Hyunjin threw a wink at the youngest, earning a glare from his brother.

“Jinnie’s a bartender, can you tell,” Felix giggles along with the others' antics.

"Hehehe. I’m sure you all would love it.” Hyunjin directed his attention to Jisung, “Hey, you should bring your friends next time Jisung-ah. I'd love to be able to have served all the members of 3RACHA. Ya know when you’re famous, I’ll have a story to tell the tourists.” Leaning in to ‘whisper’, “If you do, I'll let you know when Minho-hyung is working~” Jisung went full red at that comment. Hyunjin smirked so hard it looked like it would hurt.

“Jin, you have no shame.” Minho, after glaring at his roommate, turned toward Jisung and the other members of 3RACHA. “I’d apologize that this is how you had to be introduced to my roommates, but they’re like this all the time. Anyway, as he was saying, you guys are always welcomed to the bar, and it's really not as promiscuous as Hyunjin over here is insinuating. He enjoys being a tad over-dramatic.” His eye roll obvious.

Chan laughs, “No worries, Minho-ssi we’re honored by the invitation, truly. And It's nice to finally meet you properly-"

"Or at all. If we hadn't run into you, we probably would never be introduced. You've been Jisung's best kept secret. He's always hiding away his phone whenever we ask him what he's doing. All we hear is him giggling in his little corner and- "

"Okay!! Would you look at the TIME. It appears that 'Embarrass Jisung Time' has officially passed, and we should be on our way." About ready to turn away and hide his face further into his hoodie, Jisung's eyes catch Minho’s. He finds it is hard for him to believe the face on the other side of their conversations could actually be more beautiful than he remembered. Jisung knew that if they had been talking face to face and not over text, he would've had a pretty hard time forming sentences with the way Minho's soft but intense gaze was directed at him.

“Well it was good to see you again, even if it wasn’t planned.” A full blinding smile interrupts the gaze Minho held with Jisung.

“Yeah, likewise. It was nice getting to meet your roommates too.”The sweet gaze between the two is anything but subtle, but if any of their respective friends noticed the shift in atmosphere, it went unacknowledged.

“I’ll text you later okay?”

“Ye-yeah, okay”

They exchange ‘goodbyes’ and Minho attempts to wrangle his roommates away from the others, before they find more ways to embarrass him.

Out of earshot, “Holy shit, Minho-hyung we just met 3RACHA. I’m losing my mind. I hope they think we’re cool. Wait did they see our performance then? Oh my god. They definitely saw our performance.” An embarrassed look flashed across his face.

“Lix chill, your performance was perfect as always. Just try and not embarrass me so much next time”

“Aw hyungie~ did we embarrass you in front of your crush.”

“Hold up NEXT TIME?” ---

“...Well how about we’ll pretend that your heart eyes weren’t painfully obvious, and you pay for chicken?” Jeongin purposes cheekily.

“...mhm deal.” Clearly still in some state of shock still, Chan starts to lead Jisung and the rest of the group toward the nearest restaurant.

“Bro, you're so gone already.” Changbin shakes his head but holds a fond smile for the other. It had been awhile since their youngest trio member had smiled so much, and in turn had been equally inspired. Both of his hyungs had noticed the uptick of Jisung’s productivity, and, if anything, were glad to finally have met the reason for his smile.

-----

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#stray kids fic #stray kids #kpop fanfic #minsung #leeknow #lee minho #skz #skz fic #han jisung #skz han #skz leeknow #idk thx

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lady-divine-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Serendipity (Rated PG13)

Summary: Aziraphale’s best friend Tracy sets him up on a blind date, but the man who shows up isn’t what he expects. (4351 words)

Notes: Written for the @ineffable-valentines prompt ‘perfect date’ and inspired by a post I saw @miraworos reblog on tumblr, which happened to be the exact premise of a story I had written a long time ago for another fandom. So I brushed it off, re-sculpted it, and voila. I hope y'all like it

Read on AO3.

“So … how’re the crepes treating you? Are they everything you dreamed they’d be?”

“Oh my yes! They’re absolute Heaven!”

“They should be. This place is famous for them.”

“Good, because they’re my favorite.”

“I know. That’s why I brought you here. More wine?”

“That depends … are you trying to get me drunk?” Playful blue eyes, twinkling above cheeks darkening from baby pink to dusty rose, meet seductive liquid gold.

Lush lips split into a devilish grin. “Maybe.”

Those blue eyes dip down to those inviting lips and linger there, lost in a daydream of mouths meeting, tongues sweeping, kisses traveling, caressing pale skin … “Well, at least you’re honest about it.”

Wine pours. Glasses clink and the robust red sipped. Fingers snap, and like magic, another bottle of wine appears.

“Now,” the devilish lips ask, “where was I?”

“You heard something in your walls?”

“Oh yes. For days I’m hearing scritch-scritch-scritch, and the pattering of tiny feet on my marble floors morning and night, like little ghosts wearing tap shoes puttering about my flat.”

“Ooo! That’s spooky!”

Subtle shrug. “Don’t bother me. I like spooky. Big spooky fan me. So I look and look. but I can’t find where it’s coming from. And I mean, I look everywhere …”

Aziraphale covers his mouth and giggles, blown away by how drawn in he’s become to this story. Reuben is such a dynamic storyteller. Aziraphale feels like he’s there with him, searching his house for the mysterious scratching that’s plagued him day and night, shivers as his description of them runs its nails delightfully up his spine. For good or bad, Aziraphale is invested now, even though the events of this tale are over and resolved. Reuben pauses his story; chuckles shyly, too; while Aziraphale waits patiently to hear the rest of the saga.

“To make a long story short, I take apart the entire wall unit, and finally I find the culprit – the cutest family of white rats I have ever seen! Momma had made a nest in the insulation and had babies! Five of them! I couldn’t believe it!”

“Oh no!” The tips of a mouth turn down as those shivers make a return trip. “I don’t personally fancy rats. What did you do?”

“The only thing I could do.” Reuben takes a sip of his wine – a 2014 Bogle Petite Sirah. It sounded so scrummy when Reuben ordered it, Aziraphale couldn’t help himself. He had to have a glass, too. And Reuben was not wrong. Its dense blueberry and blackberry flavors compliment the crepes exquisitely. The alcohol doesn’t overwhelm the palette, but it’s racy enough to bring color to Aziraphale’s cheeks. “I adopted her. Named her Rogue.”

“You adopted wild rats!?”

“Turns out - not wild. After a little investigating, I found out that momma rat had belonged to a neighbor who moved out a week ago. They couldn’t bring the rat with them, or they didn’t want to, so they set her loose in the garden downstairs. She ended up getting back in somehow.” Reuben runs his index finger around the rim of his glass. “It may sound bonkers but I admire Rogue. I really do. Abandoned by the family she thought would love and take care of her, she fights and struggles to find a safe place to have her brood, which ends up being the place she was cast out from. I couldn’t just put her on the street.” He sighs, a fond but sad smile crossing his lips. “Reminds me a bit of my mum, to tell you the truth - the unforgiving life she had raising me and my sisters after our father left …”

Aziraphale gasps, that confession wrapping around his heart and giving it a solid tug. He could listen to Reuben talk all night. But he’s not just a great storyteller. He happens to be sweet, funny, attractive (God is he attractive! But, of course, Aziraphale has always been a sucker for hazel eyes like his, with flecks of gold that brighten the irises when the alcohol flows or the lighting is right). And as if that wasn’t enough, he works at one of the most successful (and philanthropic) firms in the city. But he doesn’t wear his wealth on his sleeve, doesn’t flaunt it like a selling point. His shirt is vintage, the wine he ordered costs $20 a bottle, and he came here on the tube. Personality, modesty, good looks, environmentally conscious, a stable career … Aziraphale sighs. In his opinion, Reuben is close to the perfect guy, and this blind date is going swimmingly!

Too bad it isn’t his.

“Oh Reuben …” Lorelei – Reuben’s date – blots her eyes with her napkin. She reaches across the table to touch his hand. Reuben’s eyes flick towards the touch and he smiles brighter.

Oh yeah, Aziraphale thinks, raising his glass and finishing the last of his Sirah. They’re having a fabulous night.

Aziraphale pulls out his pocket watch and checks the time.

9:45.

He’s been sitting at the table next to theirs for over an hour, waiting for his own Reuben to appear. Aziraphale figured out thirty minutes ago that his blind date wasn’t coming. He’s gotten no texts, no calls, no apologies, no explanation why. Reuben and Lorelei might have a glowing future together, but his date for the evening is definitely a bust. The wait staff knows it, too. Every time the waitress stops by, offering to refill his water glass, it’s with a sympathetic smile. She’s long since stopped asking him if he wants to pack up what’s left of his crepes to go.

What’s left.

That’s a joke.

It’s pretty much the whole order.

He lost his appetite a long time ago.

Aziraphale reaches for his cell phone but stops with his hand on his pocket. He’s not going to be that guy. He’s not going to send another text. He’s not going to give this man an easy out, refuses to give him the benefit of the doubt and say, “Well, I guess you got caught up. Text me back and we can reschedule for another time.”

Aziraphale is done.

He just wishes he knew why.

Why doesn’t dating work out for him?

He’s not a bad guy, if he does say so himself. He’s reasonably attractive (at least, he’s always thought so). He owns his own small business, even if it doesn’t necessarily turn a profit, but money isn’t something he needs to worry about anyway. He’s doing what he loves, therefore he’s living the dream.

He’s not asking for much. He’s not looking for the perfect man, just a nice one. One who might share some of his interests like theater, food, music, wine, food, books … food. But on the whole, he wants to find a man who wants to spend time with him, get to know him, who maybe isn’t ashamed of doing cutesy, romantic things, like hold the door open for him, pull his chair out for him, offer him half his desert the way Reuben did with Lorelei.

Reuben.

Aziraphale peeks back over at the happy couple.

As Reuben stares into Lorelei’s eyes and signals for the check, Aziraphale knows that he needs to face facts and be done with this. His roommate Tracy has, yet again, succeeded in finding him a date that’s not interested in actually dating.

Where does she even find these guys?

More to the point, why hasn’t he learned to say no to her?

Unfortunately, he won’t get to gripe to her about it until Monday when she comes back from some spiritualist retreat she went on with their friend Anathema, so Aziraphale has a long, lonely weekend of reading Oscar Wilde and drinking (Irish) cocoa to look forward to until then.

Aziraphale takes one last sip of the lukewarm water in his overfilled glass and decides to ask for the check. He feels awful. He may have ordered a full meal but he’s barely touched it. Plus, even though he’s done his best to be as polite as possible, he has wasted over an hour of their time occupying a table that could have been made available to other paying customers on this busy Friday night.

He prays he has a forgettable face. On the off chance he ever comes in here again, he wouldn’t want them spitting in his food.

He looks around the dining room in search of his waitress – a lovely young red-head with freckles across the bridge of her nose and a permanent pout. He doesn’t see her, but spots a man rushing towards his table – a tall, remarkably handsome man dressed all in black and wearing designer sunglasses (indoors!); cheeks flushed as if he’s been running in the cold; a warm, inviting smile aimed his way.

“Hey there, handsome. Sorry I’m so late,” the man says, pulling out a chair, spinning it around, and straddling it across from Aziraphale in a move that makes Aziraphale’s breath catch. “I wish I could say I was stuck behind a seven car pile-up or something, but I really have no exciting excuse. Not that the M25 isn’t a bitch at this hour, but I didn’t take it so, again, no excuse.”

The man smiles at Aziraphale, waiting for him to laugh at his joke. Aziraphale looks suspiciously back, turning his head left and right, searching for an explanation.

“I … I’m sorry,” he says, addressing the man, mostly through side-eye glances. “Are you are you … looking for me?”

“Yes.” The man extends an arm across the table. “I’m your date for the evening. I’m Tracy’s friend Gabriel.”

“You?” Aziraphale raises an eyebrow. “You’re Gabriel?”

The man’s smile becomes wider in a tense sort of way. “Yes, I am.”

Aziraphale looks left and right again, obviously skeptical.

The man folds his hand on the table and sighs.

“Look, Aziraphale, I know I was supposed to be here at a quarter to nine, and I know you’ve probably called and texted a hundred times. I’m really, really sorry.” He looks down at his thumbs, fidgeting as he speaks. “I know this is going to sound lame, but I got caught up at work, and then my car ran empty. I wanted to call you, but I left my phone at the office.” The man sighs again, deeper, the air leaving his body causing him to flatten a bit. “This has been a pretty shite day, all things considered, and I was really looking forward to this date tonight. I would like the opportunity to make it up to you.” The man looks at Aziraphale from behind dark lenses, a sincere expression of regret on his face, eyes peeking over the frames pleading for a second chance.

Hazel eyes, with so many gold flecks crowding in they practically shine.

“Will you let me try?”

Aziraphale is stunned to silence. He doesn’t quite believe that Gabriel ever intended on showing up at all. But then, why is he here? Did some other plans he made fall through? Did he feel guilty about blowing Aziraphale off and turn around at the last minute? Aziraphale knows he has every right to leave - stand up, say goodbye, and go on his merry way. But Gabriel did show up – the first of three blind dates to even bother – so maybe Aziraphale should give him a chance.

He’s mulling it over when he catches sight of the man staring at him, a flirty smile on his lips that Aziraphale can’t help find alluring.

“Please?” the man mouths, the hands he’d folded on the table finding their way up to his chin to aid in his begging. “Please?”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes to pry his gaze away from the man’s mouth. “Alright. It sounds like you had a hard day. I can’t fault you for that.” The man looks relieved. His smile turns slightly impish, and Aziraphale finds himself giggling without meaning to. “Why don’t we have a nibble and get to know one another?”

Gabriel smacks his hand on the table in triumph. “Great!” he says, reclining back on the chair like a large snake relaxing in the sun. “Thank you! I promise, you won’t regret it!”

A hint of a smirk twists Aziraphale’s mouth at the corners as his waitress makes a sudden and unexpected appearance. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, my dear. You have a bit of time to make up for.”

***

“So my mate rings me up, and he’s screaming …” Gabriel gestures with his hands as he gets more into the story he’s telling, and Aziraphale watches, utterly captivated. If Aziraphale thought Reuben was a good storyteller, it’s only because he hadn’t met this man yet. “He’s straight yelling, “They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere! And it’s bloodcurdling, ya know? Like straight out of a horror movie. And I’m trying to pretend I have no idea what he’s talking about …” He pauses to catch his breath in the middle of a laugh while Aziraphale, already in tears, pictures Gabriel sitting at home, listening to his friend Ligur yelling while trying to make out like he has no idea what the man is on about. “And I’m just like, “Calm down, buddy.” But at home, I’m biting my fist trying not to blow my cover. And the next thing I know - bzzt.”

Aziraphale sobers slightly, his eyebrows shooting up. “Bzzt? What does that mean? Bzzt?”

“Bzzt as in the line goes dead. And on my end, the world might as well’ve stopped spinning because I knew what happened.”

“And what did happen?” Aziraphale asks, on the edge of his seat.

“They’d destroyed it! The rats! Those furry little buggers, they managed to knock out the phone system! And not just in my neck of the woods, but the whole of London!”

Aziraphale’s eyes go wide. “That was you!?”

Gabriel points to himself proudly. “That was me! All because …”

“All because you fed a rat!?”

“All because I fed a rat!” Gabriel guffaws so loudly, other diners turn their way to make sure he’s not choking.

“I remember that day!” Aziraphale says, but not too upset since he’s not all that fond of his cell phone. Necessary evil in his opinion. Tracy made him get it so he could field calls from potential suitors. But Tracy, who spends hours on the phone talking to her fiance, was livid!

It gives Aziraphale no small measure of satisfaction to say he now knows the man who inconvenienced her.

“I didn’t know its whole family lived in the building! Extendeds and all! I thought it was just one rat!”

“And what happened to them?”

“Exterminator, I guess,” Gabriel says with a hint of regret in his voice. “Rats are smart, though. Resilient, too. I’m hoping they got away.”

His story brings to Aziraphale’s mind Reuben’s story about the rat in his walls. He looks towards the table where he and his date were sitting, but a new couple has taken their place.

Huh, he thinks. Wonder when they left?

Aziraphale, having ordered a second glass of wine, takes a healthy sip, but the buzz he gets from the alcohol is nothing compared to the one he already has from this date with Gabriel.

“I have to say,” Aziraphale says as the laughter dies down, “I was a little wary about being set up. I mean, you hear so many stories. Best case scenario, you find your soulmate. Worst case, you wind up in the boot of someone’s car. But this is going so well!”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” Gabriel agrees, becoming suddenly quiet.

“I’ve never met a real live Pied Piper before!”

Gabriel laughs, but it’s not like before - not as effervescent and carefree. Aziraphale looks down at the empty plates on the table, at the stray pieces of crepes and deviled eggs they’d ended up splitting, not a single full bite left. As it turned out, they both ordered really well. Aziraphale didn’t think it was possible for two things to be so compatible.

He was wrong, pleasantly so.

“I know you had a rotten day but thank you for showing up. This was probably the most perfect blind date ever.” Aziraphale watches Gabriel, concerned that his attention seems to be slipping away.

Before he gets to comment, Gabriel beats him to it.

“Aziraphale, I have a confession to make.”

Aziraphale feels the butterflies that have been dancing in his stomach during dinner drop dead, as if hit by a sudden frost.

“Yes, Gabriel?”

“I …”

“Crowley! Hey! Fancy seeing you here, ya old bastard!”

Aziraphale’s attention pulls to the left, to a man with white hair and dark eyes heading their way. No, Aziraphale amends. He’s going to go past them, to a table on their right since neither of them are named Crowley. Aziraphale peeks at the handful of tables there, but no one seems to notice the man calling over their heads.

No one named Crowley is responding to his call.

He is sort of making a scene. Maybe this Crowley is trying to ignore him?

But the man coming their way seems completely focused on Gabriel.

Aziraphale looks to Gabriel, staring down at his plate and concentrating on it, as if praying this man, whoever he is, will pass them by.

Who could it be to him to elicit such a reaction, especially when it’s obvious he’s got the wrong man?

“Gabriel?” Aziraphale says, worried that perhaps something they ate soured his stomach. “Is there something the matter?”

Gabriel closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Aziraphale, I …”

“Crowley!” The man comes right up to their table and claps a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, hard enough to make him flinch. “How long has it been, huh? Two months? Three?”

Gabriel sighs. He turns to the man looming over him and smiles the strained smile of a man about to commit a murder. “Hastur! Buddy! What a pleasant surprise!”

“Yeah.” The man chuckles. “You look like it is.”

“I thought you were vacationing down under.”

“Well, I’m back now. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” he asks, taking no time cutting to the chase.

“Aziraphale,” Gabriel … no, Crowley … says, doing everything in his power to avoid the full intensity of Aziraphale’s confused gaze, “I’d like to introduce you to Hastur. He’s … uh … an old friend of mine from school. Hastur, this is Aziraphale. He’s my … date for the evening.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Hastur says, extending a hand. Aziraphale takes it and gives it a shake. It’s cold from the outdoors but not unpleasant. Hastur, on the whole, isn’t being impolite. He’s just oblivious.

As is Aziraphale.

“I’ve been tellin’ this asshat for years now he needs to get off his high horse and start dating again. Nice to see he finally took my advice.”

“Yeah, well, now that I have, why don’t you make yourself scarce so Aziraphale and I can continue?” Crowley grumbles, shooting Hastur several venom-filled glares.

“A’right, a’right,” he says, putting his hands up in defense, “don’t mind me. Just headin’ to the bar anyhow. Ring me up later, Crowley. We’ll go out for a few. Maybe your friend can come with us.”

“Will do.”

“You gentlemen have a nice night.” He bumps Crowley with his hip, winks at Aziraphale, then turns on his heel and heads for the bar.

The silence he leaves behind at Aziraphale and Crowley’s table is so thick, it could suffocate a wild boar.

Aziraphale clears his throat first. “So …”

Crowley follows, a bit softer. “So …”

“Tell me the truth,” Aziraphale says, too emotionally charged to keep frustration from cracking his voice.

“And if you don’t like what you hear?” Crowley looks at Aziraphale’s hands worrying his napkin, as if he’s longing to reach across the table and take one. “Are you going to leave?”

“I’m going to leave anyway. I just want to know who I’m calling the cops on when I get outside.”

“Don’t do that. I’m harmless. I promise.”

“Who are you?”

“Well … as you probably already know, my name isn’t Gabriel,” he says, finally removing his glasses and setting them aside. “It’s Crowley. Anthony Crowley. And I wasn’t your blind date. I’m not the man your friend set you up with.”

Aziraphale moves the napkin to his lap and smooths it, giving himself something other than Crowley to look at.

“To tell you the truth, I had a feeling,” he confesses. “I mean, you don’t seem like the type of man my friend would usually set me up with.”

“What kind of men does she usually set you up with?”

Aziraphale chuckles. “I don’t know. They don’t tend to show up.” Crowley growls, shakes his head in disgust. Aziraphale is flattered by his reaction. But he has to ask, “I don’t understand why? Why did you do this?”

“I stopped in for a drink and I saw you sitting at this table, waiting for your date.” Crowley grins. “I have to admit, I thought you were a looker, so I kept looking. I heard you talking to the waitress, making jokes. You sounded like a nice guy. You told her how your friend set you up, how excited you were. Then I heard you calling, saw you texting, and waiting and waiting and …"

“And you took pity on me,” Aziraphale says, embarrassment wearing a pit in his stomach.

“No, I was angry! I was angry that some dumb fuck got the chance to have a date with such a great seeming guy like you and he bailed. Opportunities like that don’t come by all the time and he threw his away. But I saw an opportunity and I took it. And no matter what you think about me now, I’m glad I did. Because you’re great. You’re really great. And I hope that you’ll forgive me and let me take you out on a real first date.”

The table becomes quiet again - Crowley watching Aziraphale, Aziraphale looking at his lap. The whole restaurant seems to have gone silent, as if everyone around them who has listened to them laugh and talk and watched them share their meal is waiting to see what Aziraphale is going to say. From somewhere off toward the kitchen door, Crowley thinks he sees a few of the waitresses peeking around a corner, watching their table a little too intensely.

“What else was a lie?” Aziraphale asks. “Everything you said over dinner, was any of that true?”

“All of it,” Crowley says. “Everything I said about living in Mayfair, owning a Bentley, taking a permanent gap year, working as a nanny for kicks, being an obnoxious trust fund baby, tormenting my friends with a rat army … here … wait …” Crowley opens his jacket and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He touches the screen, swipes it a few times, then hands it to Aziraphale. “Take a look. Granted I’ve only had this since the recent iPhone hit the bricks, but I’ve got a few pictures on it that should back me up. My Bentley, my flat, a few of my plants …” Crowley ticks photos off as Aziraphale flips through them. “There should even be one or two of the rats. Ligur sent them to me before he ran screaming.” Crowley snickers in such an off-handed way, Aziraphale can’t help believing him. And speak of the devil, next photo up is of a work station covered in black rats rooting through the works and apparently sending London skidding back to the dark ages.

Maybe Aziraphale just wants to believe him, but as far as he’s concerned, Crowley is telling the truth.

“I … I don’t know,” Aziraphale says, handing the phone back.

“What?” Crowley asks, his expression of newly kindled hope falling off his face. “What don’t you know?”

“Yes, you’re telling the truth, but …”

“But …”

“I don’t know anything about you. Not really.”

“Fair enough,” Crowley says, slipping his phone back in his pocket. “But can I ask you a question?”

“I guess.”

“What did you know about Gabriel before you showed up here to meet him?”

“Well, I …” Aziraphale sits there with his mouth open, expecting words to come out that don’t exist, because he didn’t know anything about Gabriel. Not even what he looked like. Tracy told him that she showed Gabriel a picture of him, and that Gabriel would know him when he saw him. But other than that, all he had was Tracy’s assurance that they would work well together. In reality, Gabriel could have stopped by at some point, caught Aziraphale waiting for him, didn’t like what he saw, then turned around and left, and Aziraphale would have never known.

But Crowley on the other hand - Aziraphale has been talking to Crowley all through dinner. Provided he’s telling the truth, Aziraphale knows more about him than he does his best friend, and they used to room together.

“Okay,” he concedes. “You’ve got me. Alright, Crowley. Sure. I would love to go on a real first date with you.”

Crowley reaches his hand across the table and Aziraphale takes it, suddenly recalling the look in Reuben’s eye before he signaled for the check.

Crowley has a similar look.

He raises his hand for the check.

But after not seeing her for most of their meal, their waitress walks over and puts two glass flutes down. Then she pours each man a glass of champagne from a bottle Aziraphale is certain costs more than their meal.

“Uh, waitress?” Crowley calls to the woman before she can walk away.

“Yes, sir?”

“What’s this?” he asks, perplexed by the sudden appearance of alcohol.

“It’s champagne,” she says, as if that isn’t apparent. “The house special.”

“But we didn’t order champagne” Aziraphale points out.

“I know,” she says with a wink. “It’s on the house. Enjoy it. Take all the time you need …”

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable valentines #ineffable husbands #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale

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persephonescat · 5 years ago

Text

Birds and other supernatural phenomenons

Okay, so I have no control over my life. Fine.

The characters are so out of character it’s funny. I’ve little to no idea about Batman, so I should apologize but I won’t, because I just lost all my remaining brain cells and I blame Tumblr.

Big thanks for LucyyJ26 on AO3 for fixing the Lucky Charm-problem, you should read her work too, its grammar is probably better than mine will ever be, and her stories are amazing. A little explanation: she took the Lucky Charm out of the story and instead, Ladybug’s power is the Miraculous Cure, which can re-do the destruction done during an Akuma-attack and can bring back the ones fallen by the villain’s actions. She’s changed other things in the Miraculous-world too, but this is the only one I’m going to use, except that in this story, it’s called Lucky Cure (don’t ask). For further explanation, visit her story: Miraculous: Darker Origins. The Daminette AU.

This is also posted on my AO3 account, under the same name.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21187025/chapters/50433170

Follow #Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons if you don’t want to miss any of the new chapters. ;)

Anyway, enjoy, I guess.

Next Masterpost AO3

————————————————

Ch. 1: The Inevitable Doom

Field trips should be fun.

Except if you’re Marinette Dupain-Cheng, of course.

The Dupon was the best high school in Paris, so the fact that they managed to plan a school trip to freaking Gotham out of all of America had to say a lot about Parisian schools. Or so Marinette thought. (Apparently, she was the only one.)

The best of all? Her classmates didn’t even notice the irony of it all. Well, Adrien did, but she was way more bitter than to give him that.

“Kids, I have great news!” - clapped Mrs. Bustier (happily married since last summer) cheerfully. “We’ve won the competition! We’re going to Gotham!”

The whole class broke out into excited chattering as Marinette glanced at Adrien sitting next to her. He was the only one besides from Marinette who didn’t seem very happy from the news. They locked eyes, and the girl could see the worry and exhaustion on his face.

***

/Two months, seventeen days and nine hours earlier/

With every day passing, the weather in Paris got colder. The Ladybug suit provided enough warmth even on the most algid nights but walking to school in the mornings or going home in the afternoons was getting more and more difficult for Marinette. She really didn’t understand why out of all things a ladybug could do, the only thing she got was the urge to hibernate. She didn’t have wings. No antennas. No four extra legs. Even Tikki wasn’t anywhere near similar to a ladybug. Basically, other than her name and the colors, Marinette was just as far from resembling a ladybug as one could be.

But no, she had to get ill and tired every time the weather was cool. Fantastic.

“Ladybug?”

Chat’s voice brought her back to reality. She was sitting on the roof of Adrien’s house, at one in the morning, with the stars shining at them brightly from the sky’s soft black. The stars always calmed Marinette. They reminded her that there was a whole universe out there, that she was small and didn’t matter compared to the real world. These kinds of thoughts usually terrified people, but not her. If nothing really matters then the best you can do is making sure you’re happy, right?

She turned towards her partner’s shadowy figure standing on the other side of the roof.

“Hi,” she started with a barely visible smile. “Is everything okay? You weren’t there yesterday when Glassterix attacked and it’s okay, but you missed school too and we were getting a little worried.” Well, it wasn’t entirely ‘okay’. It took her over two hours to defeat the Akuma and her Lucky Cure had to bring back twenty-three people from the dead, but she wasn’t mad at him. It wasn’t the first time one of them couldn’t show up, they learned to be patient with each other a long time ago. After all, they were best friends, especially since they knew each other’s identity.

About that: yeah, it was a wild ride. It happened the month before, and it still caused her nightmares sometimes. The way Ryuko was crying as a group of civilians fell from the Eiffel tower right before her eyes (she couldn’t save them) and Carapace’s screams when the Champs Elysées’ asphalt shattered into pieces sending flying cars all over the place was haunting her every time she closed her eyes. At some point, Rena Rouge’s costume was splattered with someone else’s blood and she freaked out so bad, she took a wrong step off the roof, dislocated her ankle and fell five stories before Ladybug could catch her. Marinette swore she was never going to ask for the other heroes’ help again unless it was absolutely necessary. When Chat’s ring started ticking in the middle of the fight and she saw the fear creeping to his face, making all his anger disappear, she grabbed his arm and took him to a relatively safe alley. For a moment, the green light made the shadows look like long, faceless opponents, but is passed just as fast as it came and Adrien was left standing there, panicking. Marinette wasn’t too surprised, she’s suspected it for a while and judging from Adrien’s face after she transformed back to her plain old self, he did too. She succeeded in calming him down enough so his breathing was mostly even and she told him to get Plagg something to eat (that seemed to clear his mind a little), but then she had to go back to fight. Half an hour later Chat was once again helping Viperion evacuate the civilians.

She stood up and took a step towards Chat Noir, who for some reason seemed to stop far away from her.

“There’s something I have to talk to you about,” he said, and Marinette once again felt the smell of inevitable doom lingering around them, but she stayed calm.

“Okay,” she told him carefully.

He stepped out of the shadows and now she could see he wasn’t wearing his costume. She felt a little panic in her throat, but he seemed fine, just… hesitant, maybe.

“I was thinking about… everything, really, and the thing is, I want to go to college. I would like to go to Cambridge, or maybe Yale, I haven’t actually decided yet, but the point is, that wherever I go, it won’t be in Paris. It won’t be in France.”

Marinette’s heart sunk and for the first time in months, her eyes started stinging a little. She hated to cry, but she didn’t want him to leave. All year, she kept telling herself that they were just in eleventh grade, that college was far, but she knew it wasn’t entirely true. Almost everyone in her class has already decided where they were going to go. The United Kingdom? America? No, these places were too far, too big, too scary to think about. Why would he want to go there?

“I know it sounds a bit overconfident, but I think I can make it. However, I’ve to learn. A lot. And I’ve to make sure I do enough work outside of school that I can put in my applications and I have to do a lot of things, I still don’t exactly know everything about it but the point is…” he stopped speaking and took a few steps towards her, so now the distance between them was normal but he was still avoiding her gaze.

“The point is,” he continued cautiously, “-that I thought long and hard about it, and I can’t be Chat Noir anymore.” He looked her in the eyes for a moment, but seeing her expression, he turned his gaze to the ground.

For a second that seemed like a lifetime, Marinette was just staring at him. She thought it was a joke, or a dream, or a fucked-up prank because it couldn’t have been real. It wasn’t possible, right?

Then she slowly opened her mouth to protest, to do anything, but Adrien was quicker.

“And it isn’t just that. I mean, the college.” He shook his head and sighed, annoyed at himself. In different circumstances, it would’ve been satisfying to see him not finding the right words for once. “It isn’t just about college. Marinette, I would like to live an actual life. It’s selfish, I know, but if I don’t quit now, I’m never going to be able to. I won’t be able to have a family, a job I like, I’m never going to have a dog because there’s always going to be something that keeps me from being home. I love being Chat Noir, but during the past two years, I learned, that the main reason that I like it is that it helps people. But it’s not the life I want to live in. I’m going to find another way to help, one that lets me be happy.”

It was a promise, and they both knew it. 'I’m going to be a good person. I’m going to help. I’m going to be happy. I promise.’

Marinette saw the world shatter all around them as he spoke. Her world. She knew that at the same time, he saw it grow and evolve, and the irony didn’t go over her head.

“I’m not going to leave you alone,” he told her, looking into her eyes. “In fact, I’m happy to help you or Ladybug anytime you want, but only as Adrien.” He grabbed her hand softly and dropped the Black Cat ring into her palm. “I’m sorry.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving Marinette standing on his roof at one in the morning under the black blanket of the night. She wiped the tears that never fell out of her eyes and welcomed the numbness in her soul. She looked up to the sky one last time before swinging around the city until dawn. The stars no longer seemed so bright.

Later that night, wandering back and forth in his room, Adrien wondered if Marinette picked up everything he meant, but left unsaid.

'I’m going to be a good person. I’m going to help. I’m going to be happy. I’m here for you. I want you to be happy. I promise.’

He decided, that probably not.

_________________

Next Masterpost AO3

#marinette x damian #maribat #damiette #daminette #AU #mcb #miraculous ladybug #batman #dcu #damian wayne #marinette dupain-cheng #Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons #damian x marinette #The Inevitable Doom

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moist-astronaut · 5 years ago

Text

things my friends and I have said over the last year

“I’m verbally illiterate” “Isn’t that called dyslexia”

“I’m going to chemistry and I’m gonna light myself on fire” “No” “Damnit let me burn like the witch I am!”

“Don’t worry it’s not anti-Christ it’s just anti-government”

“I’ve been getting migraines everyday and I’m considering chopping my head off” “But that would kill you” “Two birds one stone!!”

“I swear to god I will hug you” “My house is 5 miles away and my doors are locked” “Your locks are FEABLE”

*writing an email* “Bitch comma”

“Ok but I could be a top” *laughing* “What I totally could be!” *laughing and crying for literally 6 minutes straight*

*on a group call, friends cat misha walks into the room* “Tell misha I would live and die for her, whichever she prefers” “She says thank you” *cat noises*

*joins discord vioce chat at 11:26 pm* “You guys are gae but I love you” “Thank you saeren very cool” “Goodnight” *leaves chat at 11:28pm*

“Jake jake jake jjjake -j-jaaake hey jake” “W H A T” “Can I eat your pens” “I literally have a restraining order against you”

“I’m educatn’t”

“Me calling you to dumb to be a slytherin is payback for you leaving multiple handprint bruises on my legs” “It’s not my fault your skin is weak”

“He’s rolling so that we can walk” *rolling in the grass and collecting leaves on his jacket* “I’m rolling for your sins”

“There are 7 of us so we can each be a deadly sin” “I wanna be Ross” “You mean wrath?” “No that dude from Friends”

“Ok but other than his strict attraction to women, his multiple wives, his hatred of gay people, and the fact that he is dead, what is standing between me and Joseph Smith the All American Hottie from being happy together”

“Consider: Mullet” “No”

“I do my homework while loudly eating a pop tart asmr”

“No no listen, he’s my brother, he’s a bastard of my dynasty…I might just ransom him off”

“These Norwegian bastards indroduced a fucking PLUAGE to my COUNTRY”

“Ooooo meth”

“Half of my life is me resisting the urge to sing the zaboomafoo themesong, the other half is me actually singing the zaboomafoo themesong. So either way my entire life revolves around zaboomafoo.”

“I just don’t think I would hire a gay man-wait no I’m not homophobic”

*chucks half a gallon of milk in a gas station* “-ah- got milk?”

“Gimme your sternum boy”

“Nooooooo he stole my sternum!!!” (Side note these were two separate occasions)

*being force fed milk duds* “No!! This is the worst way to die!!”

“Hey babe come over I have a hammock and a heated blanket”

“Be afraid, be prepared- IN THE WORDS OF SCAR”

“Stress eating stress gummies Stress eating stress gummies Stress eating stress gummies stress eating-”

“I thought to myself ‘Y’know if I die today this is how I want to be remembered- a leather skirt and leg warmers’”

“I think I’m telling you to go to sleep” “You’re gonna have make me” “I can’t tell if this is cry for help or flirting” “Yes”

“This is at best cannibalism and at worst being straight”

“Oh look Percy Jackson’s here now, ooh they replaced every character’s face with Mr. Bean. I hate it”

“You can’t be mean to me! I’m gay AND a woman! That’s a hate crime!” “Yeah well I’m brown and Muslim! Square the fuck up bitch!”

“Babe it’s not very metal to be afraid of your hair dresser” “It’s not very metal to have a hair dresser and yet here we are” “It’s fine you’re into glam metal”

“Hey augie, got any grrrrrrapes?” “I’m doing IXL :(“

“Can I come?” “No” “What if I bring watermelon?” “You can come, leave the watermelon, then leave” “:(“

“What in the jersey shore”

“Rad’nt”

“Ok but consider: Mullet-hawk” “I can and will divorce you”

“Dee-vorce 👏 Just to 👏 re-vorce 👏 👏 “

“Ah yes, that’s why I’m fat…for combat reasons…”

“You fool I consent!”

“My Boston fern is being a bitch but that’s because it’s winter and that’s BITCH season”

“You walk through the rest of the house and it’s like ‘ooo witchy and aesthetic’ then they’ll get to the guest room and it’ll just be a tacky twink Fever dream”

“Who needs a scalp”

“HeHe, sexing”

“Council has decided, your vibes are rancid (and not the band)”

“You’re never to young to hate women”

“Look at me I did the dishes I’m a 1950s housewife with a strangely new jersey accent and affinity for lesbianism”

“Well look who has the table now”

"contrary to popular belief, fuck you"

"There's nothing here that requires whisking, i'm just problematic"

"If you could go anywhere in the world with two people, who would you choose?" “New Orleans!”

"So he proceeded to bite me on the butt...like, really, really hard."

“I don’t cheat, I win. It’s not cheating if it’s consensual.”

“My mouth, my choice”

“Do you like my ombré of a tan"

“Who’s the cutest in the chat right now then?” “It’s Paige!” “No, it’s obviously Augie.” (paige's boyfriend)-said by a straight man

“Francis is just a one and done.”

“Would you ever have a threesome?” “...yes...” *To Francis* “Sure!”

“How do you feel about anal sex?”

“Of the people in this room, who would you most want to make out with?” “Augie” “The answer is yes, but only if it’s 6 feet apart.”

“Square, flat, and overcooked.”

“The virus would be over if everyone would breathe underwater for 5 minutes.”

“I have daddy issues, but not with my father.”

“You’re a ladies man but you have two boyfriends.”

“That means lesbian in sign language” “No, that means fuck boy in American”

“I’m like a parasite, you can’t get rid of me. I’m here forever.”

“You’re like my long term hit man”

“Is it Jake?” “No, why would the evil Russian man be Jake?” “Because he would never hire a gay man and you don’t look like a gay man”

“Jake is homophonic, Augie is racist, and Francis is a woman hater!”

"Grew a korean radish, 1 star"

"I've got more cause i'm a rich boy, and by that i mean my father sometimes buys avocados. And that's on what? Upper middle class"

"Tell your good for nothing boyfriend to stay away from my mom"

"It's not inciting violence it's just ~inspiring it~ "

"Listen bitch just because you have avacados and a roomba doesn't make you better then me"

"i would totally let narthex ruin my life. and that's on what? daddy issues and bisexuality"

"who is titty"

"how is he racist" "he hates the french and russians right?" "don't forget italians" "that's just self loathing"

"This is the last time i wear a thong- it's for educational purposes"

"babe come over i'm a burrito"

"he put bread with milk. luckily he passed away"

"you touched my wiener!" "you offered it!"

"foot'nt"

"i took a shower and realized the floor doesn't bounce"

"i love ass whoooaaaaaa i meant cassie"

"Rosalie you're the deciding vote. Be decisive." "Dude i'm bisexual and a gemini. what're you talking about?"

"Okay so to recap: jake is homophobic, augie is racist, francis is a woman hater, and now paige is a bunny abuser?"

"Just bring a watermelon keychain and it'll be fine" "Whooaaaa i'm gonna need a big key then"

"If you were blind what would you even see"

Post Traumatic Youth, plus D for danny's disorder"

"i think she's past the phase where she likes people just because they're russian"

"francine is a lesbian, but only during quarantine"

"don't be a home wrecker!" "i can't help it!"

"we are not doing coed tents" "i wanted to go purple-ing though"

"if it's not perfect i'm gonna through hands" "with who" "i don't know, the CEO of stupid"

"don't make me feel guilty for bullying you"

"it doesn't look very cash money cool but okay"

"slinky cat" (ferret)

"The pond behind my house didn't freeze all the way through this winter, so i couldn't go ice skating" "okay, so i have an idea. we can go to walmart and get-" "ANTI FREEZE!" "well, yes- wait, no. No, the more i think about that definitely no."

"The amish will win, the amish will prevail" "the amish will conquer us all!"

"He do be kinda mafia doh"

"i'm being sneaky sneak. stairs go creaky creak. and i need. DRUGZ"

"brain on shutdown, power saving mode"

"Somebody go tip her, she's dancing like a stripper" "thatd be nice- oh wait no!"

"fellas, is it gay to lick your homies eyeball?"

"it's not racist if you're only targeting one group of people" "that literally racism" "but what if they're french"

"i'm not racist yet but the option is available, and it's good to have options"

"they don't call me Mr. Steal Yo Boy for nothing!" -a straight man who has a girlfriend

"i think he has a bad habit of not dating girls"

"kinda hot tho 🥵 in a Santa Claus kinda way...hoe hoe hoe"

"i'll be your hot jacuzzi bubble dealer"

"when deceit and doubt fills you up, you cleanse your mind through creative activities, such as making organic soap"

"friendly reminder #4: you're never to old to eat a freezie-pop"

"sorry i'm just nervous" Chinese Teacher: (Waving her hand in front of her face) “Just pretend I’m cabbage.”

"me when my dads name is publicly broadcasted on the radio for his 14 felonies and assorted war crimes"

"<@!523669420435046401> I sentence you to a solid nine by the banhammer. For your crimes against Humanity, God, Satan, and Matt Frank. See you in hell."

"Danny, just because you're playing *Just Cause* doesn't mean you need to Just Cause our friendship!"

"Silly Matt! You fell for the ole’ Heimlich maneuver!”

"i got a bunch of new shirts over quarantine" "you would"

"Ok, there's a 32 year old doctor in new Jersey dying right now" "Yeah, but to be fair everyone in new jersey has a pre-existing condition"

“This is the longest period of time we’ve had without a Nintendo direct” “Maybe they’re gonna make a Nintendo indirect?”

"you’re looking extra white today.” "thanks i've been practicing"

"do you have any batteries" *looks inside shirt* "not yet"

"let's go colonize the middle school!" "yyayayyayayay!!!" " wait I gotta ask my mom first" What happened next is know called the *Juniors burden*

"oh so you're a DOWNSTAIRS milk kinda guy"

"you are literally the human embodiment of crumbs in a bed"

"The Berk-ey Creamery isn’t a place, it’s a people!”

"He shoved a floating joy-con straight up his flux-capacitor.” "great! now it's paired"

"No, that isnt armor, the real armor are the friends you made along the way"

"This one goes out to all my lady friends out there *proceeds to kill himself in game*

"i'm a coward" "that's what a coward would say!"

"rest is for cowards and fools"

"every time you speak you take years off my life"

"Shark dick hoo ha ha"

"Me and the boys brushing our teeth at 3 AM"

"remember if you kill yourself the fascists win"

"The Beatles aren’t real. Have you ever seen a beatle? No? Exactly." "Babe” "Shut up I’m right."

*reading over these quotes* "god i hate that" "you said that!"

#ghost talks #long post

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw #suicide mention tw #I can't believe I'm almost done with these lists #that was a wild ride guys

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luna--reading · 5 years ago

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[PICK A CARD] How does he/she feel about me and what do they want to say to me?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for “How does your person feels about you and what do they want to say to you?”. I picked a total of 4 cards as well as 4 clarifiers and some poker cards to illustrate what they want to say to you if they can!

Do take what resonates because this is after all a general reading so it can’t possibly resonate with everyone. If you’d like a more personalised reading, do DM me as I’m currently doing free reading (as I’m still in the process of learning).

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 3 piles:

I am love and miracles are natural.

The presence of love will always cast out fear.

There is a stream of love supporting my dreams.

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

They see you as someone who is very intuitive and keeps to yourself at times. But they also see you as someone who is willing to bide your time for something that you think is worth it. In other words, you won’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Truthfully, they think of you all the time – they think of having this happy, balanced relationship with you. And to them, they see this relationship for the long run. They might not have been truthful with you in terms of their feelings with the 7 of spades (I’m sorry I wasn’t truthful to you) and that could be because they feel like they weren’t at their best yet. Or at least, they feel like they weren’t at the best that you wanted with the 4 of hearts (I am not at my best YET). They feel very strongly for you and they know that you are the one that they want. This strong feeling sometimes makes them feel fearful, with the 8 of spades (I feel powerless within me when I’m with you) and it makes them feel hesitant to make that step forward, since they feel that you deserve someone better than them. But they are dying to make that move, to communicate with you. I see this relationship slowly taking that step forward with the Page of Cups and The Magician – where either one or both of you are slowly trying to manifest each other into your lives. It might be a very small offer but as both of you are willing to take that step, it will slowly manifest into the something more worth it. So, even though you might feel like this offer is coming in very slowly (with his no communication/no offer) – because there is a lot of pentacles energy (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus), trust that they do feel something for you and they are taking this slow approach to improve themselves so as to feel like they are a match for you.

Pile 2:

For this reading, I see this as the both of you might be in separation or no-communication state. They see you as someone who overthinks a lot, like a lot and this could be due to the external influences around you (i.e friends, family, colleagues). In actual fact, these external influences could have affected your relationship because it seems like you are always seeking advices from others and doing what others think is right for you, instead of what you think is right for yourself. They want you to know that these external influences see things from an outside perspective and they are not fully understanding the whole situation. To them, he might seem too busy for you but what he wants to tell you is with the 9 of clubs and 10 of clubs that (I have my other priorities because I am trying my hardest for me, for you, for us.) They are trying their best working on themselves, their finances, their careers because they want the best for your future. They think of you as very naïve and might have a little immaturity within you because they feel like you are not trying your best to defend for this relationship. This could be due to you placing your trust too much on those external influences that you don’t see how this relationship could work out in other ways. They feel deeply for you (but not in a very positive way, especially with the Ten of Swords in reversed), they are unable to let go of the hurt that you had given them as much as they know that there is a need for resolution, especially with the 6 of spades (I don’t want to let go). These deep feelings mainly revolve around feeling betrayed and while they know that they should have an end to this, have closure, they find it hard to do so, mainly because they did have strong feelings for you previously. However, I see that they are willing to work hard, plant the seeds and wait for the relationship to blossom and grow again. They are willing to make that effort to achieve that peace and harmony within this relationship because you are their wish fulfilment and with the 8 of clubs (I want to be with you NOW). They probably can’t stand this separation/no-communication state and they want you to know that this is just another obstacle for both of you to go through in this relationship and that love conquers all fear. So, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate those “advices” that you seek from others and ask yourself if those advices are really what benefits you, benefits your partner, benefits this relationship. Whether those people truly understand what is going on in this relationship. Understand that your partner feels this deep connection with you, which is probably why the Ten of Swords came out because I see him unable to pull out completely (or even attempt to pull out of this relationship) because of those deep loving feelings they have for you.

Pile 3:

They see you as someone who is currently through a very hard time as you release any limiting beliefs as well as unhealthy attachments. They might also see you as someone with a bit of pride in you, and always refusing to request help from others and they are asking you to rely on them with the Queen of Diamonds (You can always depend on me!), if you were to ever need help. You might also be someone who is very emotional detached right now and that is probably because you are currently working on something, be it if it’s yourself, your finances or your career. With Karma/Devil as well as King of Clubs (You are very hot), they might see you as someone who is very attractive, very hot, very seductive. And in actual fact, they do think a lot about you, because they think of you as their wish fulfilment. They think that you might be someone that they can offer that cup of love to and that they want to make that step forward to bring that cup of love to you, especially with the 10 of Hearts (You make me feel completed!!). They feel like whatever connection both of you have previously, or even ongoing, is just an unfinished business and they are taking their time to re-evaluate on this situation on how to approach you in a better manner. They might seem like they are taking a break from you, in fact, maybe because they stopped texting you, or they stopped flirting with you but actually, they are waiting to see if you are willing to make that step forward to them. The Magician is here to reassure you that as long as you are willing to make that effort, you would be able to get what you have been hoping to manifest and that change is coming. You might be overthinking too much, with the Nine of Swords, of possible failures which result in you unable to take that step forward. But trust that your partner wants you to know that he is only taking this break to plan for their future, with this 2 of Clubs (I am preparing a future for us) and that he is someone you can really depend on with the Queen of Diamonds. So, trust in yourself and do not overthink too much because they might act like they don’t care right now (and I know it can be a little confusing after a period of flirting and what not) but they are changing their strategies on how to face this relationship or even just focusing on how to build this future for you, so that you are willing to trust them entirely to begin on this new relationship. You should always focus on your own healing and as long as you start to love yourself, you will soon see the worth in yourself for someone else to love. You might not think highly of yourself but believe me, there is always someone out there who thinks the world of you and that person might be the person you’re thinking of currently.

#tarot #tarotreading #pickacard #pickacardlove #tarotreadinglove #lovereading

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missmage52 · 5 years ago

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Excerpt from “Dreaming of a Liar: Kokichi Ouma x Reader” (slight NSFW)

I’ve been writing a fanfiction on wattpad, and this is an excerpt from chapter four that I’m proud of. It’s a Kokichi Ouma x Reader (female).

Basically Monokuma has gone to the good side and brings all the Danganronpa Characters (from the main three games plus Komaru, excluding Twogami and seperating Hajime Hinata and Izuru Kamakura into seperate entities) and puts them all in one class, but doesn’t hold a killing game for once!

But in order to have a perfect 50 student total, he needs one more student. So he takes a person from the real world and brings them into the class to learn alongside the students! But it’s while your sleeping, so when you meet an interesting supreme leader, is it really reality, or just a dream?

There’s a specific scene that gets a little NSFW, I’ll give you a heads up when it comes.

I also tried my best to make Kokichi canon as possible, so let me know if I did a good job or if I didn’t.

So, enjoy!

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I followed this Alter Ego hologram along with the rest of the students, as we were instructed to by Monokuma. Of course the one who didn't leave my side was Kokichi.

"Sooooo," Kokichi put his hands behind his head as he walked, which I imagined couldn't be too comfortable. "You mentioned back there that you've never been in a killing game. Like, ever. Is that true?"

"Well, most kids my age aren't put in a killing game," I shrugged. "Can't help but feel bad for the others, though."

"Actually, it's not that bad," Kokichi said matter-of-factly. "Well, for me at least. Nishishi~!"

I rolled my (E/C) eyes. "Oh come on," I scoffed. "There had to be some point where you were scared shitless."

"Scared shitless about what, exactly?"

I stared at Kokichi, dumbfounded. How could he act like being in a killing game wasn't a big deal?! A person would have to be a complete sociopath to act so nonchalant about something so serious and terrifying! I paused, clearing my throat to regain my composure. "W-Well, I don't know, dying?"

Kokichi snickered. "Pfft! Come on, really? Dying? Gee, you are a hoot!" He

"I'm serious!" I remarked, bewildered. "Almost every human being is afraid of what lies beyond death! It's the greatest mystery known to man-!"

He put a finger to my lips. "Notice how you said almost every human being. I am not like most humans, heck, I might not even be human, you never know," He smirked, the glint in his amethyst eyes filled with mischief. "Besides, I was a victim. I said so in my introduction earlier. Squished to death. I already know what lies beyond the grave, Ms. (Y/N), believe me." He hissed into my ear, making me shiver.

"R-Really?" I stuttered, now a bit uneasy. "Is that s-so..."

"Yep!" His attitude perked right back up. "After all, I was revived. Heck, I could even tell you all about it if you wanted, though it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg!"

"But you didn't know what death was like before you died, Kokichi," I glanced up at him, staring into his eyes. "You don't seem like the type of person who is always fearless. In fact, it seems you hide many fears, including death itself," This time, it was my turn to smirk. "Though I'm not one to assume."

Kokichi's face turned pink, sweat starting to roll down his face. He glanced down at the floor, not meeting my gaze. "Well, I never expected something like that to come out of you..." His voice trailed off. "You're certainly something, aren't you?"

"Same goes for you," I responded. He blinkd at me. "You have some good acting skills, but then again, I can't expect anything less from a liar."

"Wooow, you caught on that quickly?" He started to pout, his expression changing like a remote changing the TV channel. "Bummer, I thought I could mess with you for a bit. You aren't so bad yourself, with acting. Kinda caught me a little off-guard there. You suurree you're just a transfer student?"

"I'm sure," I insisted. "I'm not really good at anything specific, skill or anything like that."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire~!" He singed. "You're good at acting, so just take the damn compliment!"

"If you say so..." I whistled shifting my attention to Alter Ego, who stopped at a doorway.

"Right now, we are in the main building on campus. This is where you gather for meals, classes, and special events that take place in the school. Most of the classrooms are unoccupied, so that gives many students a chance to start clubs and hold small get-togethers," The hologram started to elaborate. "Where we just gathered is the gymnasium, which is where most school-wide events and gym classes take place. Right down the hall is the stairwell up to the third floor, which is where most of you came from in pairs of two or three. We have around thirty empty classrooms here."

"Across from the gymnasium is the cafeteria, which will open it's doors along with the gym at seven am. It will close at ten pm. On weekends, it will be closed, and students can only ask permission to use it from the principal and or faculty. From the cafeteria, you can access the kitchen, pantry, and walk-in fridge, but only after three pm to ten pm. Breakfast and lunch will be prepared by the MonoLadies, but dinner must be prepared by the students. The kitchen staff also has access to the greenhouse using a second stairwell located in the kitchen."

As we entered the cafeteria, I couldn't help but marvel at the amount of tables were set up. And just a simple glance at the lunch line made my mouth start to salivate at the thought of so much food.

"Now, right outside the cafeteria are you lockers, which you will store your belongs temporarily. You are allowed to decorate the inside of your lockers however you please, but all personal items must be removed from them before the end of the day. Your monopad serves as your combination and lock. Your monopad will unlock your corresponding locker. Other students can leave you messages, and you can even post reminders and other messages."

I took out my monopad and hit the tab that was labeled Locker. It showed me a map of where it was located, which was the farthest away from the cafeteria door. Easy to remember, but the worst access to food. It had an inbox, which read zero messages, and a calender with bullitins to add on. As other students went to find and test out their new lockers, I went up to mine. As soon as I approached it and held the monopad up to where the lock should be, there was a click and I was able to swing the door right open.

There was shelves to put books and other supplies, hooks to hang up bags and coats, and on the back of the door a digital calender. "Sweet." I remarked.

"I wonder if you can play games on this thing..." The girl who introduced herself as Chiaki said earlier. I glanced over at the locker besides me, and it seems she was my locker neighbor. "Probably not..."

"That would be pretty cool, though." I admitted, grabbing her attention. She gave me a small smile, and I returned the kind gesture.

"If you'll follow me, please," Alter Ego gathered up the students once more. "To the right of the lockers is where you'll find the Fitness Center, where there is multiple work out machines. It's doors open at six am, but you can only access it before seven with a pass from the principal or faculty. It closes at nine pm. Right across from there is where the bathrooms and locker rooms are, as well as the second entrance to the gymnasium. The lockerooms and bathrooms can only be accessed using your monopad, to make sure you aren't going into the wrong one. To the other gender, it is locked. They open at six am and close at ten pm. Like the fitness center, you can only access the lockerooms if you have a pass administered by the principal or faculty."

"Do we have lockers in there like the ones we have at the entrance?" A boy by the name of Kazuichi asked.

"Yes, indeed," Alter Ego responded. "Now, follow me up to the second floor."

We followed Alter Ego back around near the gym entrance and up the set of stairs at the end of the hallway. And the strangest design was that to our right was the greenhouse. The entire wall was glass looking in. The greenhouse was filled with all sorts of plants, flowers, harvestables, you name it. There was even a picnic table in there. "To our right is the greenhouse, which is where we grow our food and many other flora. Students are also allowed to eat and spend time in there, but only with permission from the faculty. Unless students are part of our gardening club, which will open up soon."

I pondered the thought of spending time with Kokichi in the greenhouse. It would be a nice place, but there would be too much stimulation for our noses in there. I didn't know if Kokichi had a flower allergy or not. So the greenhouse was off the list.

Alter Ego lead us down the hallway to a more open space with couches and nice places to sit, with a big entrance labeled Library straight ahead. "This is an area where students can study and interact with each other with a more greater volume," The hologramed A.I. explained. "And down the hall to your right is the multimedia center, where there is printers and computers and other technology. I will give you a few minutes to explore these two areas before we re-group."

I instantly went inside the library. That was my go-to. Growing up with my brother, since we never really had much form of entertainment, would go to the library and read all sorts of books together. Some of my favorite authors were J. K. Rowling, Lemony Snicket, and Stephen King. There were dozens upon dozens of shelves towering above me. There were long tables with reading lamps, a cozy fireplace with large plush-looking armchairs and loveseats. To top it off, one of the walls were completely glass, letting natural light into the room, casting a heavenly glow onto the books. I couldn't stop myself from gawking.

"Wow, you a bookworm or something?" Kokichi came up from behind me. "You seem a little out of it..."

"I read plenty of books when growing up, so I'm practically in heaven," I breathed. I turned to Kokichi, which by the look of his expression was amused by me nerding-out. "This would be the perfect place to hang out!"

"I dunno, libraries kinda make me uneasy..." His voice trailed off. "Ever since Rantaro died in one, they kinda just are sorta creepy to me nowadays..."

I frowned, realizing I was making him uncomfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry Kokichi, I didn't mean-"

"Juuuust kidding~!" He winked. "Libraries just aren't my style, y'know?"

"Liar..." I mumbled.

"That's what I am!" Kokichi beamed with pride. He then grabbed my wrist. "C'mon, let's go check out the multimedia center!" He then started running, dragging me along with him, out of the library and down the hall, where a handful of other students were.

When we entered, the first thing I made note of was the amount of computers there were. Plenty of them, all lined up in five rows of eight. Along the windows were tables with 3D printers and regular printers set up. At the front of the room was a big screen, which I assumed was gonna be used for displaying videos and power points.

"Not gonna lie, I thought it would be more exciting," Kokichi heaved a sigh of disapointment. "All the nerds here must be over the moon, though."

"I think it's a bit over-the-top for a high school computer room," I whistled. "I'm kinda impressed that they have so many resources here. But then again, it's a school for gifted teenagers..."

"When are we gonna go to the next area?" Kokichi examined his hand in what I assumed out of boredom.

"I don't know," I shrugged, longing to explore the library more. "I'm gonna go back to the library." I told Kokichi as I started to make my way back to the room filled with books.

"Well wait for me, idiot." Kokichi sped up so he could besides me.

"I thought libraries weren't your style," I raised an eyebrow at him. "Or was that another lie?"

"Well, you never know if there's a secret room in the library," Kokichi flashed me a mischeivious smile. "Or better yet something even cooler!"

"You make a good point there, Kokichi." I nodded in his direction as I continued my way through the library doors.

(At this point it becomes a bit NSFW)

As I scanned the shelves in the different sections, Kokichi dawdled behind. It was kinda weird, though. He was just staring behind me, as if he was scanning me up and down. Not really observing, but something else...

"What'cha doing back there, Kokichi?" I looked back at him. He was leaning against a shelf, just staring at me."

"Nothing much," He shrugged, smirking. "Just enjoying the view, that's all~..."

I blinked, furrowing my brow. "Of what, exactly?"

"Whaaaaattttt~? You seriously don't know...?" Kokichi came up to me and backed me up into another shelf. He propped his hand against it, leaning into me. "...I'm looking at a snack~..." His voice became low and husky.

I stared at him. "I don't have food on me, Kokichi," I told him. I then paused in consideration. "I would like to have some, though. If I did I would share it with you, if that's what your essentially asking me."

"Nishishi~!" He chuckled. "Oh no, you are sorely mistaken! It's all over you..."

(Becomes SFW once again)

"Do I got a mustard stain on my shirt or something?"

"Kokichi, stop it!!" A voice then came from down the aisle. I turned my head to see the blonde girl that was next to me during everyone's introductions and a guy with cyan-colored hair and thick lower eyelashes. The command came from the male, who was pointing right at Kokichi.

"Shuichi!!" Kokichi seemed to bounce right back at the sight of the cyan-haired male and charged right at him, arms outstretched to give him a hug. The guy then froze up, and was tackled to the ground by Kokichi. "I missed you sooooooo much!!"

"K-Kokichi, get off of me!!" The guy stuttered, struggling to get the smaller male off of him.

The blonde girl came up to me, her eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay? It looked like Kokichi had you pinned against the shelf, there." She asked, pointing to the shelf.

"I'm good- Ah, Katie, was it?" I scrunched up my face trying to remember the girl's name."

"Kaede," The girl corrected me with a bright smile. "Kaede Akamatsu."

"Right, sorry," I quickly apologized. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking," I turned my attention towards Kokichi, who was straddling the poor guy at this point. "Uh, Kokichi, I think you should get off him now."

"Awwwww..." He whined, pouting. "Okay, then!" He then jumped right back on his feet, letting the man stand up. Kokichi then skipped back besides me

"Kokichi, what the hell were you doing to this poor girl?!" The guy scolded as he brushed off his black and grey stripped blazer. "I mean, pinning her down, what were you thinking?!"

"Who are you, again?" I pointed at the guy. "Sorry, there was so many introductions I can hardly remember the all."

"Shuichi Saihara," The guy reintroduced himself, giving me a small smile. "Ultimate Detective."

"Nice to meet you, Shuichi," I smiled back. "Same for you, Kaede," I nodded to Kaede. "But uh- no, it's totally fine. He just thought I had food on me and asked for some, it's all good."

"Pffffttthahahahahaha!!" Kokichi doubled over and went out into complete hysteria, clutching his sides and slapping his knees. "Ohmygod you're so stupid!! Hahahahaaaaaa!!" He wheezed.

"How?" I stared down at him in confusion. "You we're looking at me, I asked why, you said you were looking at a snack, I said I didn't have food on me, then you said it was all over me, and then you tackled Shuichi. I don't see why I'm the stupid one here, because you're the one that insisted that I had food on me which I clearly don't." I gestured to my clothes to show the lack of crumbs and stains.

"U-Um, that's- ah..." Shuichi's voice started to crack, him covering his mouth while he looked down at the floor, clearing avoiding my gaze.

"I think what Kokichi was trying to call you was- um..." Kaede's voice trailed off, uneasiness in her voice. "...s-sexually appealing."

"Oh," I blinked, turning my attention back to Kokichi. "Um, thanks for the compliment?"

"I was just messing with 'ya," Kokichi waved it off with a hand, him catching his breath. "I would never think of you like that, let alone perv on 'ya," He reassured me, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Oh my god, that was priceless!" He sighed.

"For you, that is. It's just confusing for me," I shrugged. "I've never really been the type of gal to think about that kind of stuff, so I don't know sex terms or the meaning of when someone calls another person a snack."

"Then toying with you is gonna be more difficult then I thought," Kokichi started to bite his thumbnail, muttering. Then he quickly put his hands resting on the back his head. "Ah well, I'll figure out something. For now, I gotta make sure that filthy cum dumpster doesn't taint your innocent mind~!"

"I'm not that innocent, I'm aware about sex. I just know little to nothing about it..." My voice trailed off at the end. "Also, what's a cum dumpster?"

"Don't ask." Shuichi shook his head.

"Why that loud filthy pig during the introductions, of course!" Kokichi exclaimed, his tone matter-of-factly. "You must stay away from her at all costs, 'ya hear me? She's an absolute slut that will tell you all the terms about sex, and you're too innocent to be taught those awful things!"

"Your treating me like child," I pointed out. And at this point I felt like one, though Kokichi was only a smidge taller than me. "I'm sixteen years old, I can make my own decisions. And I can remember her name no prob, her introduction was the one that was the most out there. Miu Iruma, Ultimate Inventor."

"It's not very nice to call Miu such vulgar names, Kokichi," Kaede informed the violet-eyed boy. "She probably doesn't enjoy the names you give her, either."

"She probably likes it when she's hooking up with someone," Kokichi shrugged. "So I don't see why I can't call her names."

"I think a more polite way to describe Miu is that she's sexually active," I suggested. "Besides, she seems to be brimming with self confidence."

"Well yeah, same thing..." Kokichi muttered, suddenly gaining some attitude. "And that's not self-confidence, it's narcissism." He quickly added on.

"You can't exactly be one to talk, Kokichi," Shuichi pipped up. "You can be a bit full of yourself sometimes."

"Yeah but not as often as Miu, and I'm leaving it at that." Kokichi folded his arms across his chest, leaving us all in an awkward silence.

*^*^*^*^*

Like what you see and wanna read the whole thing? Link is right here!:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/215117714-dreaming-of-a-liar-kokichi-ouma-x-reader

#drv3 kokichi #kokichi oma #kokichi ouma #kokichi x reader #x reader #danganronpa #daganronpa x reader #new danganronpa killing harmony

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dxmagedrose · 5 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it.

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now! [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore. even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye. i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way.

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all.

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER. F L Y P A P E R. FLYPAPER. FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street. roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani. I am but a simple opossum.

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’) It’s the most grounding smell in the world.

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I—— I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!! take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT… the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

#||: && the mundane ( ooc );#( get to know a bitch!! )#( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )

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novantinuum · 6 years ago

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Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 6.7K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which Steven can’t sleep.

First | Last chapter

While I’m cross posting all of these to tumblr, I’d love to have your support over on AO3 too! Plus, it’s easier to subscribe there. A win-win, I’d say.

Chapter 6: Unfamiliar

He doesn’t dare peep at his alarm clock.

Its digital readout glows a soft green in the dark, temping him same as any edible Cookie Cat would, but to no success. He doesn’t sneak a peep because the moment he sees the time, that time becomes real. No longer will he be able to pretend that he’s been staring at the ceiling beams for only a few minutes, or that he’s still got plenty of hours left until morning. Instead he’ll finally have to come to terms with the fact that he’s not getting any sleep tonight. His dad gives a soft snore, laying in a tangle of covers next to him. He’s a known and certified blanket stealer. Not that he minds— he’s cozy enough in his pajamas, and he actually enjoys the rush of cool air over his toes. Unfortunately, that’s the extent of his peace on this particular sleepless night.

He’s long since lost count of how many times he’s tossed and turned, desperately longing for that one perfect position that’ll be the answer to all his problems. The optimum balance of breeze and toastiness! The ideal degree of springy cushioning! But just like a fake identity, the difficult truth is that the answer he seeks doesn’t truly exist. It’s a fabrication. A sham. And try as he will, no amount of misplaced belief will ever change that reality. Elsewhere within the oppressive silence, (or rather what would’ve been silence), every single creak and moan of the house’s foundation is amplified like an electric guitar through an amp. He’s expecting it by now— expecting the dull tick of the wood boards as they warp with the slow change in temperature, expecting his dad’s even snores from beside him— but his nerves are so shot from all the chaos of the evening that he can’t help but seize up with each new noise. It’s just... all too much.

Laying on his mattress as flat as a plank, Steven crinkles his nose with annoyance. He’s not usually the Universe who has trouble falling asleep. That’s Dad’s turf— once he finally gets to dreaming he doesn’t wake even if someone shoves an entire meat lover’s pizza in front of his nose, but arriving there in the first place? That’s an ordeal on its own.

Gosh, he’s so, so tired. A dull ache throbs behind his eyes. In his chest his heart thrums staccato at an identical rhythm, never fully settling down to a resting pulse. It’s been like that ever since Bismuth’s forge, ever since… all the unpleasantness. Distantly he bets that’s because this fully organic body is still trying to compensate for the loss of his gem. He was born with it, after all. That’s like adjusting to everyday life after losing an entire limb. It doesn’t just happen in a day.

He shuffles onto his side once more, his back facing his slumbering dad, and glances longingly at the deep cut pink gemstone that rests on the kitchen counter, swaddled in the folds of a bath towel. Little to his surprise, it’s still as inert as ever. Is… is that it? he wonders. Steven Universe, former Crystal Gem, forever benched from the team because my gem’s now a glorified paperweight??

And if it… he… does reform, what then? Can they re-fuse? Are there two Stevens forever? Is he sure that the diamond will actually reform as him, and not as his… not as Rose/Pink Diamond? Will Pearl ever be able to explain why Rose/Pink faked her identity and then lied about it to her own friends for thousands of years? Was his… was Rose Quartz even a good person? Was Amethyst right, did she just create him so she could— questions, questions, questions! Geeze, no wonder he can’t fall asleep. There’s far too much stuff bungling around his head!

Steven crawls out of bed, no longer willing to tolerate the impossible notion of trying to rest. If he can’t sleep, then he might as well sit on the shore to get some fresh air. His feet meet the floor with renewed purpose, and without further ado he begins to gather a few items. First, he swipes his phone off the nightstand and slips it in the pocket of his pajama bottoms. After skillfully avoiding the squeaky step on his way to the ground floor to keep from disrupting Dad’s well-deserved slumber, he crosses to the counter. His gemstone glints in the moonlight shining through the upper window. He purses his lips, deliberating… and then carefully scoops it up in his hands.

“You’re coming with me, little guy,” he whispers to the inanimate Gem, hugging it to his chest. “Who knows, maybe some ocean time will do you some good too!”

Ignoring the fact that he’s basically talking to himself (at least, he thinks he is?), he turns on a dime and prepares to leave. At the door, he slips on the spare pair of flip flops he always leaves by the seat under the window, and then tiptoes outside.

The fresh, crisp breeze dances through his dark curls. He leans against the patio’s railing, lips curving midway into a smile. One of the arms of the Milky Way is visible tonight, dotting the sky with billions upon billions of twinkling stars. Beach City produces minimal light pollution, so thankfully he’s always had a stunning view on their side of the hill. Any other night he’d be delighted to stargaze the night away, wistfully dreaming of stellar horizons far beyond their reach, but his heart’s not into it right now. Insidiously, the gemstone he holds seems to grow heavier as time ticks onward. Against his better wishes his thoughts shift at the reminder. The rest of the Gems never like talking about it, so he can’t pinpoint its location to any degree of accuracy, but somewhere light years beyond this galaxy of theirs sits the Gem Homeworld. Pink Diamond’s origin. This gem’s origin.

And that’s a bizarre thought. Before today he’s always been under the impression that his— his mom was made on Earth, just one of hundreds of Rose Quartz soldiers. Alien, but not wholly extraterrestrial. Now, however...

He stubbornly shakes his head, clearing his mind. Nope, now’s not the time to think about all that. He plods down the stairs to the sand on automatic, the heels of his sandals clapping rhythmically against his feet with each step. Ah, there’s nothing better than the soft squish of sand under flip flops to brighten one’s mood! His eyes briefly flutter shut as he crosses the beach, breathing deep to let that cool, salty air fill his lungs.

Eventually Steven seats himself a fair distance from the cliff, smack dab in the middle of the shore. His flip flops are quickly discarded. Under the stars’ faithful glow he erects a raised mound, and carefully nestles the diamond atop it. With a long, heavy sigh, he flops onto his back. As he does so, the sudden shift in weight distribution paired with the light breeze causes a fine mist of sand to waft into his face. He sputters and spits.

“Euuugh, no, that got in my mouth!” he complains to no one in particular, and shoots upright. He sticks out his tongue and wildly scrubs the remaining grit off. When he’s satisfied he’s no longer swallowing bits of powdered rock his tense shoulders relax.

His glance moves to his gem, still as dull and lifeless as ever.

Another sigh.

“Okay, this is sad.”

The pink diamond glints in the moonlight. He chooses to believe it’s a wink.

“Maybe I can... watch some post midnight TubeTube?” he asks out loud, and pauses.

Besides the constant ebb and flow of the ocean, the beach is unwaveringly silent. He frowns.

“Yeah, that sounds like an excellent idea, Steven!” he chimes in a muffled character voice, and hugs his knees to his chest. “Sheesh, maybe I should’ve just stayed in bed and kept staring at the ceiling after all.”

He shakes his head. No, no… less brood, more Tube. It’s pocket time. He plunges his hand deep in the pocket of his pajamas, in search of his phone. Thankfully it’s not a boundary-less magical dimension like Lion’s mane, he thinks with a laugh, otherwise he’d be in trouble. Then it would really be a ‘pocket dimension!’

He pulls out the phone and switches it on with a flick of his finger. He can’t help but crack a smile upon seeing the lock screen, an older selfie of Connie and him that they took up at the sky arena after practice one day, but that definitely isn’t the headline. His eyes snap wide open as he notices the battery indicator at the top right corner.

“What??” he cries in clear betrayal. “Nine percent?? Aw, dagnabit!”

The sad thing is that this kind of electronic tragedy is not a rare occurrence, not at all. He can’t even count the number of times it’s happened on two hands. Oh, why must he always forget to charge his phone at night? Still, this means that TubeTube is out. Watching videos will drain his battery to zero faster than Amethyst can shovel down an entire gallon of engine oil.

His shoulders slump as he shoves his phone back in his pocket. Mind wandering, he plows his fingers through the sand, gouging deep lines in the damp shore until his knuckles go white.

“And then, what? She creates you just so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact she’s a liar?”

He almost feels nauseous. Almost…

(The way his pink double— the fully Gem part of him, the part the gemstone Mom left behind projects— looks at the world when not trapped within emotionless monotony, pale irises burning with an anger he didn’t know he was capable of…)

“You knew, you knew Rose was Pink Diamond, this whole time!”

(Other Steven screams no, solid stone fragmenting under his feet. The others quiver as they struggle to remain upright, even Bismuth, a self made Gem warrior. Even Garnet, the most unshakable person he knows.)

But the portrait of Mom that hangs on the wall of his room, its gentle strokes accentuating the rosiness of her cheeks, the softness of her hair… the tape she left behind, spinning loving encouragements recorded specially for him...

“Maybe she just wanted to be Rose Quartz. Is that so bad?”

“Depends on what her motives were,” Garnet replies matter-of-factly, adjusting her opaque glasses.

(The solid weight of the gemstone in his hand as he delicately submerges it under the fountain’s pool, familiar and alien all at once… It’s part of him, right? Has been for all his life. And yet…)

“-and Pink D’s like, the bad guy, Steven!”

(For once, Dad becomes his rock amidst the stress of all this Gem business. Steven clutches at his arm, desperately trying to let his dad’s warmth and comfort and perspective soothe his worries.)

“-despite everything else she probably lied about, her love and respect for all of you was not a sham.”

He buries his face in his arms, shivering in the throes of the nighttime breeze as its intensity ever so slightly picks up. His teeth chatter, and he shrinks even smaller in defense against the sudden burst of coastal wind. Even his long sleeve pajamas don’t provide much comfort. And because of this, no matter what he tries his mind can’t stop looping back to the deadening sense of cold he felt radiating through his very core when he split apart from his gemstone… how disoriented it left him, unable to focus or even walk for the first few minutes. The scariest part is by far the gap in his memories, from the second that unbearable pain shot through his nerves to the moment he opened his eyes to find himself held aloft in Bismuth’s grasp.

He literally blacked out, in the mercy of someone who hurt him. He was helpless and alone, and in way over his head. This was like the incident with Jasper and the hand ship all over again. He— his bottom lip quivers as he pulls his legs tighter to his chest— he could have died. And now, because he’s separated from his gem, entirely human, no powers at all, he may never get to go on a serious Gem mission ever again. But what bothers him even more than that is...

He peeks out from between his arms, tired, glossy eyes drinking in the sight of that glittering pink gem in the sand.

Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz...

Why does there have to be so many contradictions about who Mom was? Why can’t he just know?

Not a sham, one source claims.

She’s a liar! says another.

His heart doesn’t know what to believe anymore.

Steven huffs in frustration, and he crawls on hands and knees to the shallow mound he rest the gem upon. He picks it up, his fingers splaying wide to securely support its full diameter. With a sharp cry of lingering discomfort at the sudden physical exertion, he pushes himself to his feet. The ocean calls him closer, the predictable rhythm of its tides so mesmerizing. Step by step, he emerges from under the temple’s shadow into the full light of the moon.

“Why’d you have to be so secretive about everything, huh?” he asks pointedly, staring daggers at the gem. In the diamond’s mirror-like surface, his hurt scowl is reflected right back at him. “Why’d you have to lie to all your friends? And why did you dump me with all this?”

Not that he expects anything else by this point, but the gemstone remains silent in the wake of his questioning. Funny that, huh. It’s rather reminiscent of some other Gems in his life. He catches a glimpse of the temple statue in the corner of his eye, the face of the fusion carved into the cliffside gazing out at sea impassively in all her monolithic glory. Unchanging in her manner, no matter the centuries long gone.

(Thick ringlets, prominently carved into the cliff face in a way he can’t ignore, not for anything.)

He exhales heavily.

“I just…. wanna know the truth, for once in my life,” he says. “The whole truth, y’know?”

Steven lowers his gaze to the diamond in his hold as he contemplates this desire, and accompanied only by the gentle lull of the ocean, begins to sing a slow melody.

“I thought I knew, I thought I saw… All the writing that you left me on the wall...”

He takes a breath. Mind overrunning with conflicting ideas and secrets and fourteen year old promises labeled ‘for Steven,’ he turns to face the water, planting his bare feet solid in the damp sand.

“Through the gem you left behind, And taped encouragements to find... Your portrait hanging like a lighthouse on the shore. And all what for?

“What do I trust? What should I say? Don’t think I know you well enough to feel betrayed…”

In his hands, he flips the inert gemstone so its five sided facet faces up, obscuring the point below. His brow creases.

“About the gem you turned to hide, And how easily you lied… But after all of this…

“Why does the thought of living up to you make me feel small?” he asks, his singing voice cracking on the last note. Five fingers grip his pajama shirt tight where normally they’d wrap around the familiar edges of his gem. “When now I’m not sure you’re worth living up to after all…”

Far above, a constellation he can’t quite remember the name of twinkles at him.

“It’s so… unfamiliar.”

Echoes of recent memory pool around him like mirrors into his past as he drinks in the sight of the night sky. Bismuth’s presentation of the breaking point, their resulting moral disagreement, his mom’s sword lying across the room during the most heated moment of their fight… (If it lay in his reach, could he have done it? Is he even capable of poofing a non-corrupted Gem in self defense?) The memories swirl around him faster now, the breeze picking up. His pink tinted double standing parallel, nothing but his own intuition giving answer as to what the hard-light figure represents. The silent shock drawn across Amethyst’s features at seeing him hurt, wordless but still so tangible and raw. The terror they all felt as his glitching gem self’s scream sent cracks spider webbing through solid rock. Garnet’s instability, the horror of the truth nearly wrenching her apart. Pearl’s hand involuntarily clamping over her mouth. Bismuth’s exile. His dad clutching him to his chest fiercely tight as he drifted to sleep...

The collective weight of the past finally grows too big for him to carry. Brimming with exhaustion, he falls to his knees.

“I wish I knew how to fix this,” he says with a lump in his throat, the lull of the ocean soaking up his hoarse whispers. His thumb glides across the pentagonal facet, right across the length where the crack had been. “I wish Bismuth and I could’ve just talked, that none of this happened in the first place. I- I wish…”

Prolonged exhaustion wringing the strength from his body, he lists forward, pressing his forehead against the diamond’s cool, glassy surface. His eyelids flutter shut. Otherwise unhindered, fresh tears slip from the corners and dampen his cheeks. Steven’s breath shakes as he folds in on himself even more, elbows propped on his thighs.

The wind and waves soak up his cries like an acoustic sponge. And so with no witness, and no awareness of the passage of time, he lets slip the full depth of his jumbled emotions, tears eventually mixing with the messy snot running from his nose. In a comforting way, it’s strangely cathartic. All those unspoken stressors weighing down on him— his status as a Crystal Gem, his mom’s questionable morality, the unshakable memory of his near-death experience— begin to fade into the background as he cries. Things of course won’t instantly become better, but… he still has his friends and family to help him through this, right? Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, Dad, Connie… Peridot and Lapis… Sadie, Lars�� Kiki, Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream… maybe Onion? He bites back a half hearted laugh upon recalling the surreal evening he spent playing with Vidalia’s youngest a few months back. Okay, so maybe Onion isn't exactly as great a source of support as the others, but the point still stands.

No matter how isolated and lost he feels, he’s far from alone.

Abruptly, a gentle chime interrupts his train of thought. In seconds flat light erupts into his world, soft and pink, so vivid in its glow that it’s visible even between his interwoven eyelashes, sparking a kaleidoscope of color on the backs of his eyelids. He gasps. Eyes opening wide as day, he jolts upright.

The diamond in his hands pulses with life, its glassy surface thrumming under his fingertips. Acting on its own volition, it then lifts out of his grip. For a split second a surge of panic grips him. He claws at thin air, desperately trying to reclaim what’s his, but then… It’s okay. He’s okay. He’s seen this, he knows this. Reformation. Steven slumps back in the sand, neck craning to catch a glimpse as his gemstone rises straight up, stretching ever closer to the stars it came from. Perhaps a testament to the raw power contained within, the same breeze that tousles his hair is unable to lay a finger on it.

Transfixed, he watches with mouth agape as the gem pulses a pure white. Radiating outwards from the diamond, a series of forms— one he doesn’t recognize, and two he does— take shape out of light in quick sequence. The first is shockingly tall, at least fifteen feet, and has poofy hair, the gem oriented on its side at her navel. Pink Diamond? he wonders, hating how the thought of that name makes his guts twist and churn with uneasiness. Unfortunately he doesn’t have time to commit her shape to memory. In a flash the diamond rotates, baring its pentagonal facets. At the same time the shifting hard light form collapses in on itself, flaring outwards once more in the unmistakable shape of his mother. His heart hammers in his chest at the sight of her. But then once more, the light collapses back into the gemstone, and weaves back together into a far more compact form... A form he’s intimately familiar with.

With another resonant chime his hard light self bursts into colorful actuality, reformed once more. He’s wearing the same pajamas he himself is currently, except tinted in shades of pink like his skin and hair. The Gem stretches his arms out and allows himself to effortlessly drift downwards, his bare toes making first contact.

Steven’s mouth is still wide open. Suddenly feeling a bit self conscious in the presence of a being who’s so cool and adept he makes floating look like child’s play, (even if technically, that being is supposed to be him), he wipes the streaks of his tears from his cheeks.

“Um… hello,” he says with a small wave.

The other Steven merely acknowledges him with a nod, the motion so subtle that if he wasn’t watching him with such laser focused intent he probably would have missed it altogether. He chuckles nervously, running a stray hand through the dark curls at the nape of his neck.

“So you’re really another version of me then, huh?”

The full Gem doesn’t respond this time. Instead his attention is drawn elsewhere, as he drinks in his surroundings with an empty, impartial gaze. He’s clearly alert and conscious, but there’s no clear sign of emotion in his full pink irises. (His pupils, he notes with alarm, are diamonds.) There’s no point in lying, it’s pretty creepy. Bemused and unsure as to what to do next, Steven presses his mouth taut and sighs, the passing air vibrating his lips. It sounds just like a motorboat engine, and in any other scenario that comparison would make him laugh.

“Hey, I- if you were a sandwich,” he begins lamely, at this point desperate to incite any kind of response from him, “I guess you might say you’re… all Gem, hold the human?”

He throws his arms up in a grandiose shrug, beaming so wide that his cheeks hurt. Once more, other Steven doesn’t utter a word. He doesn’t blink either, which is unnerving in and of itself, but nevertheless he can’t help but feel like he’s being silently judged by this being. His smile recedes.

“Wow, tough crowd,” he mutters under his breath, sweat beading at his brow. “I know it’s not my best joke, but gee, you’d think a hard light projection of me would be a bit more talkative…”

Not sure what else to say for the moment, he shies away from the Gem. Instead, he focuses back on the ocean, on the tides steadily lapping at the shoreline a few feet from where he stands. Steven frowns pensively as he contemplates his current situation, hand balled at his chin. At this point he’s not sure what he expected to happen when he nicked his gemstone to go on a little outdoor adventure, but it certainly wasn’t this. Then again, he’s sure there’s a excusable reason Other Steven is acting all silent and emotionless. Maybe it’s just that… he’s still shell-shocked from almost being shattered. Geeze, that had to have been terrifying!

After a moment of consideration, he decides to approach him in a different way.

“I’m sorry you got cracked. That looked like it really hurt.”

Silence. He feels kinda itchy pinned under his double’s unyielding gaze.

“I mean,” he says with a weak laugh, “that sucked for me, and I didn’t even have my gem at the time.”

At this the Gem’s features shift ever so slightly into an expression suggesting concern. His brow lifts, and his diamond pupils dilate.

This time Steven returns his stare, squinting at him with unveiled curiosity.

“You are able to talk… right?”

“Yes,” he finally replies, as if this is supposed to be obvious fact.

(He has to admit, the sound of his own voice coming from another source in cold monotone kinda gives him the heebie jeebies.)

“Okay, so why—“

“There was no need to.”

He’s about to open his mouth to respond, pointer finger held aloft, when the words building in his mind dissipate like the morning fog that always hugs the docks. How does anyone respond to that? This whole situation— talking to his own Gem— is so strange and surreal that he wishes he wasn’t alone for it. He wishes another of the Gems was here with him, or Connie. At least then it wouldn’t be so awkward.

At the thought of his best friend he gasps, and slams his palms against his cheeks. “Wait! Oh my gosh, I have to take a picture for Connie! It’s not everyday there’s two of me!”

The Gem watches with mild bemusement from the sidelines as Steven whisks out his phone. Running on nothing but a surge of sheer enthusiastic impulse, he swipes to unlock and opens up the camera, poking the tip of his tongue through his lips all the while.

“Okay,” he says, holding the phone at arm’s length in front of the two of them. “Switching to selfie, and… cheese!”

The camera flashes. Eagerly, he taps the screen to look at the photo. In it, he stands grinning like a loon in the foreground, breeze blowing his hair every which way. Behind him, his pink counterpart squints at the burst of light, mouth slightly ajar in blank confusion. It’s by no means a flattering image. All the same, he hums in satisfaction, and decides to use his last few drops of battery life to shoot Connie a quick text.

“By the way,” he dictates as his fingers fly across the phone’s digital keyboard. “Accidentally… got separated… from gem… I’m mostly okay, I think… but now there’s two of me. Say hi to—“ He glances up at the other Steven, who’s watching him with faint intrigue. “Uh… Hey, I just realized I never asked what you wanna be called? I’m sorry, that’s so rude of me!”

The Gem pauses for a moment before responding. “I don’t have any name but ours.”

“O- oh. Well, that’s okay, I’ll just call you that. So gimme the deets, my good twin Steven... “

“I am not a twin.”

“Uh, Other Steven?”

“We are not separate people. I’m a half of a whole, just like you.”

He purses his lips. “Pink Steven,” he suggests, gesturing towards him with his phone in hand.

The hard light version of himself nods in agreement, a stiff solitary action. “That is acceptable.”

He peers close at him for a second, bemused. The Gem doesn’t even noticeably breathe.

“Pink Steven it is, I guess,” he shrugs, and finishes typing his message to Connie. “And, send!”

The text pops up on the screen in a blue bubble, attached alongside the selfie of the two of them. Quickly, he scans back over the message, realizing far too late that he probably should have done that before slamming his thumb on the big red button. His eyes narrow as he reads:

btw accidentally got separated from gem, mostly okay i think , but now theres two me’s say hi to pink steven! ill call later, some kinda scary stuff happened but gems and i are fine so pls dont worry too much

“Really, Steven?” he says, exasperation framing his features. “Don’t worry too much? Of course she’s gonna worry!” Voice cracking amidst his melodrama, he captures loose fistfuls of hair from either side of his head, phone still clutched in one hand. “Noooo, why did I write that?”

Steven groans, promptly dropping to his knees, and flops over into the sand like a mannequin with its strings cut. He lays there for a while, absentmindedly nibbling at the inside of his cheek just like he’s chewing over his thoughts. And hoo boy, there sure is a lot to unpack here. Mainly, he spends this time switching between scoffing at his own lack of tact, questioning why his Gem self has to be so darn enigmatic, and dreaming of a better world where his family isn’t crumbling under the weight of a long-kept secret and everything actually makes sense. But in the end he knows there’s no good to be found from silently wallowing about all of this. Instead, he thinks of Garnet, and everything he admires about her. About how despite her ability to trace the paths of potential futures, even she can’t predict every twist and turn of life. Even Garnet is no stranger to the fear of the unknown. The only difference is, she never lets that hinder her. Instead she channels all the the jitters and uncertainty of that fear into something else entirely, lets it empower her to confidently rise to solve the issue at hand.

And sure, he may not be the best leader or fighter or strategist like the rest of the Crystal Gems, but if there’s one thing he’s good at it’s asking questions.

“What you said earlier about… being half of a whole,” he says to his counterpart, sitting up. “What did you mean?”

“You already figured that out,” Pink Steven responds in cryptic monotone.

“Really? I- I did?”

“You already know that I am a hard-light personification of our gem half. I exist in this form because it’s who we are.”

The Gem extends his hand expectantly, as if waiting for him to respond in some specific way. His diamond pupils focus on Steven with an almost pleading intensity.

His brow furrows. He suddenly wishes he could read minds. “What are you—“

What does he want, a high five, a secret handshake, a—

“We’re not supposed to be apart like this.”

His eyes widen, suddenly understanding the invitation the Gem’s giving him. “Oh, you want to fuse? But I’m human, I’m not—“ At his sides, his knuckles tighten— “I can’t do that anymore.”

“Not human,” he reminds him with a shake of his head, more feeling present within his voice than he’s heard since his Gem self screamed at Bismuth. “Half human.”

“And you want to fuse with me?”

“Don’t you?”

“Well yeah, of course! But it’s just…” Steven folds his hands together, fingers loosely interlocking. “Doesn’t that make you weaker?”

“I think it makes us stronger.”

This gives him pause. He’s not sure he agrees, or understands why, but regardless he can’t deny the rush of peace it brings him to know that this other half truly wants to be a part of him. Of them, together.

“Okay, I’m in,” he declares decisively, mind set. “I’ll try to fuse with you. But can I maybe ask about a few Gem things, first?”

“I only know what you know.”

“But you’re still another perspective! Looking at stuff from another angle can be really helpful sometimes. It’s just…” Steven trails off, wrapping his arms around himself protectively as if fearing injury from asking this very question. “It’s about my mom. Is she… still in there, somewhere?”

Pink Steven’s frown deepens, ever so slightly. Even if he’s not super emotive, it’s become clear to him that his counterpart still feels things. He just doesn’t express his emotions to the same degree. (Or at least, that’s his theory.)

“She’s gone,” he whispers.

“But you’re sure she’s really—“

“GONE!”

“Okay, okay!” he says, holding his hands up. “Touchy subject, I get it. But please don’t wake up the whole town. Or our dad. Sleep’s super important for us human beings.”

“You’re not asleep,” he responds, deadpan.

“That’s— that’s different! I can’t fall asleep in the first place, coz’... well, because of this,” he admits, and gestures awkwardly between them.

He sighs, and shuffles his feet in the sand. There’s still so much he’s aching to ask— how did we even split so abruptly? Does this mean we’re technically a fusion? How come it took me twelve whole years to summon my shield for the first time, what’s up with that? What Crying Breakfast Friends character do you identify the most as, Sniffling Croissant like me, or are our opinions different on things? Like, do we like the same foods? Do you even eat food?? How the heck did I never notice that my gem is pointy, shouldn’t I have been able to feel that it’s, erm... jabbing into my insides whenever I’m laying down?— but in the end there’s one that weighs on his mind more than all the others.

“The other thing I’m confused about is… if Mom’s really gone like you said, then why did you almost reform as her?”

“Gemstones retain memory.”

“Oh yeah, Pearl mentioned that once,” he says with a soft smile. “So, then… those are just forms this gem used to take?”

Pink Steven nods in confirmation.

“But Mom’s… soul... is gone forever?”

Another nod.

“Then… it’s just us,” Steven breathes in wonder, the words cathartic the moment they pass his lips into permanence. His eyes grow damp. “Just me.”

At the realization, that shadowy thicket of thorns that’s increasingly entangled itself around his heart for the past few years finally begins to recede.

“Okay,” he says, extending his hand to his Gem counterpart. “I think I’m ready now.”

The moment their fingers brush against each other, strength surges through his body like he’s gasping awake from a disjointed dream, and immediately his baggy, weary eyes snap alert. Hand in hand with his hard-light double, he’s suddenly focused, able, nerves alight with a warmth he never realized until now he missed. A subtle grin curves across Pink Steven’s face in response, vulnerable emotion bursting to life for the very first time.

And as the two of them— human and Gem alike— stand parallel on the shore regarding each other under the constellations’ careful watch, an all-consuming understanding crests over him as solid as the tides are strong.

I can do it, he realizes with glee. I can actually fuse!

He can’t help the breathy laugh that bubbles up from within as he clasps his fingers secure around his counterpart’s pink ones. The Gem quickly grows to match him in his joy, and takes lead of their impromptu dance as the two begin to skip and spin across the sand, the ocean’s pulse and the wind’s vibrato acting as their only accompaniment. He’s dead tired, and his muscles still ache beyond belief, but in this blissful moment he finds he genuinely doesn’t care. Not when the breeze is tousling through his curls, and his other half’s eyes don’t look so cold and void anymore, and their steps surge with new confidence with each and every revolution they make. Not when there’s so much magic to be found in this world. So much hope, even despite the bad days. No more lies, he promises himself, no more thoughts of despair. No holding back. In a heartbeat the spinning world tints bright pink around them. Beaming, he throws his head back right as his vision blurs to white, the fathomless night sky the last thing he sees with fully human eyes.

Steven Universe, whole and uncracked once more, emerges from fusion’s pure glow.

He gasps for breath upon finally reforming, teetering and stumbling a few steps as he regains his sense of balance. Experimentally, he wiggles his toes against the cool sand, reveling in the way the granules tickle the bottoms of his feet, and laughs in sheer relief. Every stimuli is a thousand times more vivid now. The crisp wind dancing against the nape of his neck, the crash of the tides upon the shore echoing through his ears with a percussive strength… When he inhales, he inhales deep and strong, filling his lungs entirely with the fresh salty air. Now in one piece again, he suddenly feels more connected to his gem than ever. There’s a comforting thrum running parallel with his human veins, one he’s grown used to feeling whenever he summons his bubble or shield, except now it seems to be a constant presence. Channels of hard light, his mind excitedly supplies, recalling Pearl’s lessons. Just like a Gem circulatory system!

He breathes in deep again, grounding himself. He splays both arms outward, focusing upon the thought of self preservation. In a flash, the familiar sheen of his pink bubble blooms around him. Steven grins so wide his cheeks almost ache. He allows the bubble to drop, and next aligns his emotions with the idea of protection. His shield, forged of solid light and etched with rosy thorns, immediately materializes in front of his outstretched arm. It’s absolutely effortless, more so than ever before. Giddy in all the joy of being whole again, he dissipates the shield and launches himself high into the air. He’s giggling breathlessly by the time he begins his slow descent. For a blissful moment, every other stressful thing in the world disappears, and it’s just he, himself, and the glittering night sky. Far above, Ursa Minor winks at him. He blows the cosmos a kiss, eyes filled with stars.

Gently, his bare feet touch down on the shore.

For a moment he doesn’t budge an inch, doesn’t make a sound, as if he’s waiting for reality to pull the rug from under him. It all seems too idealized, too lucky. And yet— as he stands idle in the moonlight, fully alert and able— clearly it’s not. Beaming from ear to ear, he takes off running across the beach. As a testament to his sheer joy, his toes leave the ground behind again as he cartwheels.

...well, tries to cartwheel. Just because he’s more integrated with his gem doesn’t mean he’s any more graceful. He’ll leave the grace to Pearl and Connie.

His hands don’t hit the ground at the appropriate angle, and as a result he flips on end and lands face first, getting a mouthful of sand for all his troubles.

He spits as much of it out as he‘s able. “Euughhh, not again!” he says, although this time there’s renewed humor in his voice.

Steven rolls onto his back, and it’s then that he realizes, heart sinking low in his chest… that something feels different. He’s not sure why he didn’t notice it before. The unfamiliar way its weight settles, the distinct difference in shape that he only noticed when lying flat on his belly...

Hand quivering, he lifts his pajama shirt to check, and...

“W-wait, wha—!?”

The gemstone embedded flush at his navel is not his.

Well, it is, since obviously he fused with it and can summon his shield, but it’s certainly not the pentagonal cut he remembers. Instead, the entire gem has somehow rotated on its side, exposing the facets previously hidden from view. He slowly traces his fingers along its edges. How could a gem just flip like that? This never happened when any of the other Gems reformed, so why did it happen here, now?

No more lies...

Was it because of what he was thinking when he fused? Before Pink Steven reformed he briefly saw an outline of Pink Diamond, and her gem was flipped on its side too. But could subconscious thought really influence gemstone position like that?

He frowns pensively, and drops the bottom hem of his shirt. Like it or not, it seems this’ll be yet another change he’ll have to grow used to. That they’ll all have to grow used to, he amends, realizing that there’s no way the other Gems wouldn’t notice. His eyes droop, his earlier burst of adrenaline beginning to run him into the ground. How late is it again? Oh, right. He doesn’t know.

Yawning, Steven picks himself to his feet, retrieves his flip flops, and begins his hike up the sandy path to his house. He rests his palm upon the newly exposed facets of the diamond in his belly, still somewhat dazed by everything that’s recently come to pass, and truthfully he can’t help but feel as if he’s encroaching upon a brand new chapter of his life. Where tomorrow, or the next day, or the weeks to come will lead him is a cosmic mystery only Garnet could dream of halfway answering. But in this very instant, at least he can say he's whole again.

Maybe now he’ll finally be able to sleep.

#su #steven universe #pink steven #su fanfic #crack the paragon #my writing stuff #this is the longest single chapter of anything i've ever written i think #...hmmm actually that one chapter of my doctor who long fic may be longer by like 1K i'll have to check #but STILL #holy hecko m'dudes #i genuinely can't believe i actually finished this #i'm proud of me

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