#raphael chosing between revenge and hope

[kumeko]

Me: I keep seeing ads for this, should be a fun otome, something light-hearted

Me several hours after starting Love and Deepspace: how dare you put my favourite time-wimey tropes into a single story

I do not have enough time for the plot bunnies this is generating.

[bitethedevil]

Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 12

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Tav talks with Astarion about everything that has happened during her imprisonment. She decides that she needs closure and goes to Sharess' Caress.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of Sexual Trauma

A month went by. Tav was still waiting, though her hope was waning. She decided that it was time for her to return to her ‘unremarkable’ life once again, as Raphael had once described it. She started going outside again instead of hiding from the world.

She was lucky that the library that she had worked at before the whole tadpole business still wanted her back. She supposed that they felt they could not turn away one of the heroes of the city. That was another thing she hated by being back in Baldur’s Gate: being treated like a hero.

Her time with Raphael had made it abundantly clear that she was nothing of the sort. Heroes did not have the twisted sense of morality that she did, and they certainly did not sleep with devils.

She also began talking to her friends again. She chose to confide in Astarion, as he seemed like the one least likely to judge her about the whole thing. They were drinking in a secluded corner of the Elfsong as she told him everything, or at least almost everything.

She could not get herself to tell him the moments where Raphael had shown her vulnerability. She did not tell Astarion about how worried he had seemed when he almost killed her, how he had told her he had once been in love, or how he had looked at her just before he let her go.

She did however tell him about their little game. How they had slept together and how they had played house during her imprisonment. The sex was especially shameful to talk about, but she had to talk to someone about it. She felt the need to confess, and she did not even understand why.

“Darling, it is not your fault,” Astarion said and leaned over the table to look her in the eyes. “You did what you felt that you had to do in the moment.”

“But I…” she sighed. “I liked it.”

The revelation did not shake Astarion in the least.

“The body does strange things to survive, you know?” Astarion countered. “Whether you liked it or not, it does not make it any less wrong.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she said. “It was consensual. He never did anything that I did not agree to.”

Astarion looked at her with a sense of pity.

“My knowledge on literal devils might be limited,” he admitted. “But I have known my share of metaphorical devils. They want you to believe in that. It strengthens their power over you even further if they can make you believe that you are doing it out of your own free will, when in reality you are just as trapped as you have always been.”

Tav listened to what he was saying. She took a sip of her wine and stared emptily at the table between them. He studied her expression.

“You still are, aren’t you?” Astarion asked.

“What?”

“Trapped,” he said quietly. “Your body has left the House of Hope, but your mind hasn’t. Am I wrong?”

“I…”

She could not finish the sentence and tears started welling up in her eyes again. She was so sick and tired of crying. Astarion held out his hand to her and she took it. She sighed and pushed back her tears as she held his hand.

“I miss him…” she admitted quietly, as if whispering it made it less real.

Astarion looked at her with sadness and pity. Though, all of a sudden, his expression changed. His brow furrowed and he looked around where they were sitting. It was enough to shake her from the feelings she had just felt.

“What is it?”

“Apologies, it’s just…” Astarion said and looked around again. “I just had this odd feeling for a moment. As if someone was breathing down my neck and I was being watched…”

Tav looked around the room as well. None of the other patrons were paying them any attention. She looked back at Astarion again and let go of his hand.

Now it was her turn to look at him with pity. She regretted telling him. Selfishly, she had not considered that talking about her experience might bring Astarion back to a time he would rather forget. A moment later he returned to himself and looked at her.

“It disappeared,” he said and shrugged it off. “I’m sorry, I have no idea what just happened.”

“It’s alright,” she said and shook her head. “And I’m really sorry. I understand if this all brings back memories of the past for you, and it is really selfish of me to unload all of this onto you of all people. I shouldn’t have, but I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who might understand.”

“No, no, it’s quite alright,” he said and smiled at her. “You have done more for me than anyone has in centuries. It is the very least I can do. You are not alone, darling.”

She smiled at him and nodded.

“Now,” he said and returned to his more playful self. “Drink up and I will walk you home.”

She held Astarions arm as they walked. Tav was one of the few people that he allowed to touch him. It made sense. The two of them had a short fling at the beginning of their adventure and she let him feed on her for the majority of their journey. They were pretty familiar with each other and Tav had always respected his boundaries once made aware of them.

They arrived at her doorstep, and she turned to him.

“Do you want to come in for a bite?” she asked casually. “It’s getting pretty late, and I’ve been talking your ear off all evening, so you won’t have much time to go out and hunt before the sun comes up.”

He gave her a crooked smile.

“How could I say no?” he said and followed her inside.

They walked inside her living room. It looked as if a bomb had gone off in there, as she had not had much energy to tidy up.

“Sorry about the mess.”

“I suppose it is to be expected when you’ve been hiding away in here for so long,” he said and looked around the room.  

She laid down on the couch and made herself comfortable. When Astarion fed, it always made her slightly dizzy. She had learned to always lay down after one embarrassing incident where they both had ended up on their asses because she had grabbed onto Astarion as she was blacking out.

Astarion sat down beside her and looked down at her.

“Ah, this takes me back,” he said with a teasing smile. “The good old days when I could feel the sun on my skin and death was around every corner. I can almost smell the smoke from the fire and Gale’s awful cooking.”

“You didn’t even eat,” she said. “I miss Gale’s cooking.”

“I was forced to pretend to for a couple of days, remember?” Astarion countered. “Until you revealed my true nature and so generously offered your neck instead.”

“Which is still silly,” she said with a chuckle. “You are the most vampire-looking vampire there is.”

“Still fooled you, didn’t I?” he said and smiled. “At least for a little while.”

He leaned down closer to her neck, but suddenly paused his movements to look around the room.

“There it is again…” he said.

“What is?”

“That feeling of being watched,” he mumbled. “Odd.”

He shook his head and leaned down again to bite her. He fed on her until he was satisfied and let her go. She held her neck as to not bleed on her sofa and slowly sat up. Astarion wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked around the room again.

“Is it still there?” she asked.

He nodded. He was quiet for a moment as he looked around and then shrugged. He got up from where he was sitting and walked towards the door, where he paused again.

“And now it disappeared again…” he said and then shook his head. “Well…goodnight, darling. If you want to talk again, you always know where to find me.”

Tav rubbed her neck and nodded. He smiled at her and left.

She thought about the things that Astarion had said to her. He was right, of course. Everything that had happened to her had been intentional from Raphael, and so was the feelings she still had.

It did not make them easier to deal with however, because a part of her still hopelessly still wanted to believe that her situation was different. Admitting that it wasn’t, was to admit that she was a lot more gullible than she thought she was. Though perhaps it was beginning to finally be the time to stop being in denial, so she could finally deal with her feelings and move on.

The next day she was on the way home from the library. She had a bit of a hangover from the day before, but she had gotten through the day. It had been routine work, anyway. She had just been stacking and sorting books all day. She was tired and the familiar fatigue of having been fed on was also taking its toll on her.

Her brain was not working properly. She barely even noticed that she had taken a bit of a detour on her way home. She passed Sharess’s Caress, and she realized what had been in her subconscious to lead her there: him. She had barely thought about him throughout the day for once, but he was still haunting the back of her mind.

She stood there in front of the brothel with a stack of books in her arms, staring at it. To her annoyance, there was a sense of excitement inside her at the thought he might be in there. It was stupid and she should leave, but her legs didn’t let her. She just kept staring at the building.

Her curiosity got the better of her, so she went inside to talk with the madame. It couldn’t hurt, right? Just to ask if he was there. Mamzell’s face lit up when she recognized her.

“If it isn’t the hero of the gate,” she drawled with a smile.

“Shhh, keep your voice down please,” Tav said and held a finger to her lips with a strained smile. “If anyone asks, I was never here.”

“Oh, discretion is always key in this establishment, dear,” Mamzell said. “What can I do for you?”

“Is Raphael here?” Tav asked.

“I’m afraid you’ve unfortunately just missed him.”

She felt an annoying flutter of butterflies in her stomach at the thought that he had been there not long ago. Gods, she was hopeless.

“Though between us, he hasn’t been here for work for quite some time,” Mamzell added in a lowered voice.

Tav blinked in confusion. She had just missed him, but he hadn’t been there for work? That did not make sense.

“Why was he here then?” she asked.

Mamzell smiled. Tav rolled her eyes and discreetly put her coin purse on the counter. Mamzell took it and leaned closer to her.

“He has been here as a customer, if you would believe it,” she said as if it was the juiciest piece of gossip ever. “He came in here and asked for a night with the twins. Very unlike him, if you ask me. Gods, what I would have done to be a fly on the wall. I would gladly have paid him just to see that handsome face in the throes of passion, and that voice, I—”

“I get the picture…” Tav interrupted and gave her a forced polite smile.

So much for the ‘discretion’ of the establishment. For some reason it was very hard for her to imagine Raphael ever stooping so low as to pay for sex. Then again, Haarlep was dead, and she was no longer in the house to sate his needs.

Perhaps, he was getting desperate. There was an odd sense of satisfaction at the thought of it and the fact that he had not found a replacement for her, but Tav quickly pushed the feeling away.

“And this was when?” Tav asked.

“Late last night,” Mamzell explained. “He was in quite the mood too. He dismissed the twins fairly quickly and slept in the Devil’s Den. Very odd, if you ask me.”

Tav nodded.

“But he’s not there now, right?” she asked. “And he won’t be any time soon?”

“The Den is vacant currently, yes,” Mamzell answered.

Tav hesitated for a moment.

“I’d like the room just for an hour,” Tav said. “I don’t need any eh…company…just the room.”

Mamzell handed her the key with a smile.

“And don’t tell anyone about this,” Tav said firmly. “Especially Raphael.”

“Of course,” she said. “My lips are sealed.”

Tav did not believe her for a second, but it was too late now to backtrack anyway.

Tav was not even sure what she was trying to achieve. She just knew that she had to go there. She entered the room and immediately she could smell the faint hint of sulphur. The room still smelled like him. She closed the door behind her and then closed her eyes for a moment.

It was as if she was in his boudoir again. The same smell of his soaps and scents. The scent of cherries, palmarosa, pepper and that indescribable smell of just him. She took it all in. It smelled like…home.

Tav decided to rid herself of her stubbornness, and just for the next hour she had the room, she would allow herself to miss him without hating herself for it. She opened her eyes and walked to the bed.

She laid down on the side he usually slept on. He was a creature of habit, and just as she expected, the pillow on that side smelled of him. She hugged it close to her face and breathed in the scent. She could smell that oil he put in his hair that smelled like something between fruit and leather.

Had she been a normal person, she thought, then this would all have given her anxiety. It would have reminded her of her imprisonment and the fear she had occasionally felt throughout it. Instead, it made her feel warm inside and safe. She teared up and cried into the pillow.

When the hour was over, she left. She somehow felt even more dirty and ashamed when she left, than she would if she had paid for company and had the most depraved sex of her life.

She needed to move on, and she would. She decided that her visit to the Devil’s Den would be a suitable way to try and close that chapter of her life. She did not want to be trapped any longer

Raphael was working. The house was quiet, and he found very little to do besides making Cassius’ life a living hell, now that both Hope and Tav were no longer there. Though the quietness had been good for business, and he threw himself over his work.

He was at his desk, writing contracts, when he heard Korrilla enter. He briefly looked up from the contract to mumble a greeting to her. His loyal warlock looked exhausted.

“Anything to report?” he asked and kept writing, his focus on the scroll in front of him.

“She visited your room at Sharess’,” Korrilla said and stifled a yawn. “She is also back to working at the library again, but she still looks somewhat miserable.”

Raphael looked up at Korrilla with a scowl.

“I don’t care for how she is doing,” he hissed. “You are simply there to make sure she is safe.”

Korrilla held her hands up defensively.

“Sorry boss,” she mumbled.

He did not like the sound of her visiting Sharess’. He wondered if Mamzell would be stupid enough to open her mouth about the little incident that had happened a couple of days ago. He had gotten word that she was spending time with the vampire and in a moment of weakness, his possessiveness had gotten the better of him.

He had used a scrying spell on Astarion, as he knew that Tav was smart enough to figure it out if he had used it on her. He had seen their moments of closeness. How she held his hand and how he later was leaned over her, feeding on her. It angered him.

Raphael was not some young boy who felt fits of jealousy over his sweetheart holding hands with someone else. It should not had rattled him, though for some reason it did. It took him to Sharess’. He could have chosen any brothel in the realms, but perhaps he hoped somewhere deep down that Tav would know. It had been illogical, irrational, and he regretted steeping so low immediately.

He looked at Korilla and took a deep breath.

“Don’t apologize. Just do better,” he said with a tinge of irritation. “Have you heard from your sister by any chance?”

She shook her head.

“Still hiding it seems,” she said.

“Good…Who would have known that she does have some sense of self-preservation after all?”

Raphael had needed to get rid of Hope, though he loathed to. He knew that if he kept her, it would only drive Tav back to the House of Hope to free her. He needed to remove any excuses that could make her fall back into his claws, because he was not sure he would be able to let her go a second time.

“Get some rest, Korrilla,” he ordered. “You are back on duty tonight.”

Korrilla stifled another yawn and nodded. She left the office.

Raphael had a bit of a warlock shortage. There was only Korrilla left to keep an eye on Tav. The rest of the time, he had paid off mercenaries to keep an eye on her house and follow her wherever she went, though he did not entirely trust any of them. It kept Korrilla extremely busy.

Had Tav not been so foolish as to use sending spells, none of it would have been necessary. The Archdevils could hear when sending spells came and went in the Hells, and Raphael knew that if she was seen as one of his weaknesses, that could be used against him. It had happened before.  

Tav was on her way to bed when she heard a distant rumbling sound. She stood still and listened. She walked around her living room trying to discern where it was coming from. When she came near her window, she could hear that it came from outside. She opened it and listened. It sounded like snoring.

Tav did not live in the most hospitable neighborhood. It was most likely a refugee without a home or some poor urchin who had made their bed somewhere outside her house. She felt in a sentimental mood, so she found a spare blanket and gathered some food from her kitchen to lay beside them for when they woke up. She followed the noise to some bushes behind her home.

She was surprised to see who it was, but she could not help but smile. There was Korrilla, sleeping while sitting up. She was leaned up against the wall of her house, snoring loudly because of the awkward position.

“Sleeping on the job, Korrilla?” Tav asked loudly. “Thought you never did that sort of thing.”

Korrilla jumped at her voice and looked panicked as she opened her eyes wide to look at Tav. She groaned and rubbed her face with her hands. She mumbled something into her hands that sounded an awful lot like ‘he’s going to kill me’.

“Want to come inside instead?” Tav asked. “I’ve got some tea that will wake you right up.”

Korrilla sighed and looked around.

“I can’t convince you that this was a complete coincidence, can I?” Korrilla asked.

“No,” Tav said with a smile and held a hand out to her.

Korrilla took her hand and got up from where she was sitting. She dusted the dirt off her robes.

“Lead the way then,” she said

[animeangsteng]

OUR POLICY: Requesting

Update!

There has been recurrent problems with our inbox so spam us with your request at least once every two days until we don’t add it to our Masterlist or post an announcement about it!

Otherwise it’s highly probable that we haven’t seen it.

We won’t publish them until the 19th of January

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X reader (of all genders)

Headcanons

One-shots

Scenarios

Preferences

Matchups (-> for more info click here)

More likely to less likely to… (or vice versa)

Alphabets (Fluff, Angst, Relationship, Marriage ecc.)

Zombies (not requests. Ideas pieced together)

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I DON’T DO:

X OC

Ships between characters

Entire Chaptered stories (Wouldn’t be able to not drop them. Sorry. Can’t focus for too long)

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CONTENT

I DO:

With spoilers

Any kind of relationship (gay, hetero etc. But I’ll mostly write male characters)

Angst (Especially cheating. How can I not make cheaters suffer their actions? They wanted to behave like dicks! Here you go. Hope you find yourself happy. And dead)

I’ll try NSFW (I will just end up laughing on the screen)

Fluff

Omega verse or A/B/O dynamics (and I’ll even insert betas if you want but know that I’ll usually have only Omegas and Alphas for a few logistical reasons)

AUs [gender bent (mtf) and soulmate (yes please!!!)]

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Rape (o completely non-consensual nsfw stuff)

Pedophilism

Things I find disturbing

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ANIME

BNHA (I’m stuck before the UA traitor reveal in the manga)

(Former) Class 1A

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Naruto

All as long as there’s the slight amount of info about them (ex: not one of the villains that appeared for five seconds in Naruto)

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Dance with devils (only anime)

The Seven Deadly sins

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Sk8 the Infinity

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Ouran High School Host (anime)

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Tokyo Manji Revengers (Don’t know how accurate they’ll be)

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Moriarty the Patriot

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VIDEOGAMES*

Twisted wonderland

Obey me! (Got a bit lost here too. But i’ll do my best to follow the original story if someone wants to be MC)

No events

No new characters (13, Mephistopheles, Raphael)

A3! Act! addict! actors! (I hope they’re in order)

Genshin Impact

Male only

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*in this case you can be MC (and follow the story) or Reader (So you can chose to follow the story or not. Kinda)

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“CARTOONS”

Avatar the Last Airbender

Legend of Korra

Miracoulus Ladybug (Why is there so little about this?)

Encanto

The Rise of the Guardians

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FILMS & TV SERIES

Harry Potter

All (teachers, students etc)

MCU:

Original Avengers (Black Widow, Hawkeye, Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, Thor)

Loki

Peter Parker

Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes

Vision

Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff

Eternals (No Ikaris, Sprite only platonic)

BBC Sherlock Holmes

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BBC Merlin

Once Upon a Time

Only Killian Jones

Leverage

Alec Hardison

Elliot Spencer

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BOOKS

Rick Riordan:

Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Heroes of Olympus

Kane Chronicles

Magnus Chase

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HOW

You can send them in.

Please tell us if you liked it or I’ll wait for a feedback till my death (which may not be that far)

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We’re forgetful and busy (not that much) so it will depend on our memory and our schedule.

Usually, tough, we try to stay within these periods.

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Warning: they can vary based on our schedule and your request.

We’re not slaves nor lamp geniuses.

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Ex: headcanons with one character?

May take few days.

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[mittensmorgul]

I love Eileen. And I love Saileen. I love that they introduced a character with a disability and made Sam happy But I agree with a lot of what you say about Saileen. They’re NOT canon. Yeah, they very well could be. But as of now, they aren’t. They seem more like a “will they/won’t they” relationship rather than a real established relationship. And with everything with Chuck and his control over her... idk. I love hearing what ppl think about it but they need to let you have your opinions

Thank you for this, seriously. I just feel like I’ve been pressured into seeing it differently. And I’m sorry for that, honestly! I wish I could see it as a purely cute, happy, no complications relationship. I wish I could see the parallels to destiel as direct mirrors instead of “spot the difference” mirrors.

I love Eileen as a character, and have seen potential for her to have a relationship with Sam since 11.11. It seemed like the show was seriously considering that in 12.17. And then the show proved they weren’t... Yes I was fully on board the “she can’t actually be dead because that was stupid and terrible” train back then. I was for a good long while afterward. (lol read my fic Winchester 275, with fun happy saileen!) But eventually, when it becomes obvious that the characters have moved on, we have to move on and see reality, too.

But after the show made her return a direct tool of manipulation by Chuck, and after she herself has expressed that because of that, BECAUSE Chuck’s interference in “writing Saileen” into the show as a romantic plot, when she questions what is real, she’s talking specifically about her relationship with Sam. If that wasn’t the case, if Chuck’s plot for her had been about ANYTHING else, I wouldn’t have so much difficulty with the state of Sam and Eileen’s relationship now. But Chuck specifically brought her back to romance Sam.

When Eileen says she doesn’t know what’s real, she specifically means between her and Sam. Between 15.06 and 15.09, Sam repeatedly denied they were like that (when Dean teased and then talked seriously to him about their obviously developing relationship based on what he’d seen of their interactions, and lampshaded by Dean himself as him viewing their interactions through the lens of his own personal issues he was struggling with at the time, having literally projected his own feelings onto their relationship). And I understand the desire to see Sam happy, to see him find a relationship like this. But I will always want that relationship for him to be real, of his own choosing, and with someone who can freely consent to it. And I want the same for Eileen, too. 

I’m doing my level best to look critically at what Chuck wants, at the plots and situations that he specifically engineers, and asking myself why. He’s been Gabriel-level manipulative/trickstery, Lucifer-level “smashing his own toys,” and Michael-level “monster apocalypse ftw,” and Raphael level “it just needs to be over.” I just watched Mystery Spot on the TNT loop, so maybe that’s why I’ve got Gabriel on the mind here, but I’m betting this week’s episode will have some heavy Gabriel style callbacks. What is the truth? What’s their own choices and what have they been “tricked” into believing was their only choice?

As long as Eileen feels that she had no choice in anything that happened between her and Sam, I’m gonna be eternally grateful that Sam had his foot on the brakes regarding their interactions to the point they learned of Chuck’s manipulation. Because it could’ve gone a hell of a lot worse if Sam had jumped into a romance with her, you know? Imagine if he had taken her up on her proposition in 15.07, only to have her doubt if it was even her choice after the fact? That would’ve been so, so much worse. For both of them.

The narrative has at least left them with POTENTIAL. Eileen could reexamine her whole relationship with Sam and decide she really does have feelings for him that are her own, completely untainted by Chuck’s interference. But I really need that to be her freely-made choice. Sam could welcome her back with open arms, ready to proceed with a relationship on their own terms, to build something real between them. If they’d consummated the relationship while Eileen was being controlled/used by Chuck, it wouldn’t even be a potential. Or maybe it would, but there would’ve always been that specter of what had happened to her hanging over the relationship, leaving them both to question if it was actually real or only based on what Chuck had pushed them into, you know? For however cute the potential of their relationship is or could be, it’s not founded in their own free will.

I completely understand why some people refuse to question Eileen’s feelings for Sam, rather than just questioning which of her actions are “real.” If Eileen hadn’t specifically been brought back for a “romance plot” with Sam, I don’t know if she would’ve doubted her feelings for him, either. They did have a history of friendship, at the very least, before Chuck’s incredibly specific plan for her unfolded in s15. We WANT good things for Sam, we want him to be happy, to find someone to love and be loved by in the way he really deserves, and has wanted for a very long time, but heck I can’t stop hearing Charlie’s voice in 8.20 here:

Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies

I need for any relationship that Sam chooses for himself to defy that statement, not to be burdened by Chuck’s incessant campaign of destroying Sam’s love life  over and over again for his own personal entertainment. He uses Sam’s hope as a weapon against him, just like we saw in 15.09. Two of Sam’s biggest character arcs for the entire series have involved his perception/understanding of reality, and hope vs hopelessness. That is, what gives Sam hope, and what strips it from him. It’s been a key metric for him in every season, and it directly affects the choices he’s willing to make, and possibly more importantly, what he’s personally willing to sacrifice.

At this moment, I’m watching Jus In Bello, and this is... exactly the plot of this entire episode. This is Sam’t plot through all of Kripke Era, throughout Chuck’s original apocalypse arc. This was Ruby’s entire purpose in the narrative: romance Sam to manipulate him into Doing The Thing. In 3.12, it’s framed around Sam’s hope vs hopelessness against the army of demons surrounding them. It’s framed as “not having a choice,” and then working together to “find another way.” Only for Ruby to show up at the end of the episode after they think they’ve succeeded, to inform them that because of their choice, everyone they’d been trying to save was now dead. And it was STILL a manipulation on a bigger level of the narrative that won’t be proven out until the end of s4 and Ruby’s Grand Reveal moment as Lucifer rises.

THIS IS A BIG ISSUE FOR SAM, and dismissing it all for the sake of smushing his face together with Eileen’s is... at the very least, a wee bit problematic. 

Obviously, Ruby was conscious of this deception from the start. She was planted with the knowledge of what she had to accomplish, and willingly participated in Sam’s manipulation. Eileen... wasn’t complicit in ANY of the manipulation, at least not consciously. I’m not attempting to frame Eileen as evil here, but just as much a victim of Chuck’s plotting as Sam was.

If Eileen didn’t feel this way herself, if she didn’t directly question and doubt her own feelings for Sam, she wouldn’t have left. She left for HERSELF. I can’t even imagine being in her position here, you know? Saved from the torment of Hell, given a tiny bit of hope for the future (still with the question of whether her soul was still doomed to Hell when she eventually died again, or whether she got a clean slate and could enter Heaven eventually, LITERALLY ALSO BECAUSE OF CHUCK). Only to discover that her second chance had been provided by Chuck because he cavalierly intended to use her AGAIN, not for her own sake, but to drive Sam’s “plot.” Romance-loss-manpain-angst-hopelessness-”Butch and Sundance” lather rinse repeat. That’s Chuck’s plot, and in leaving, whether she sees that bigger picture or not, Eileen has chosen not to participate in it. Not to let herself be used by that plot.

Eileen had her agency stolen from her by Chuck’s BMoL storyline, and she spent three years in Hell because of it. At this point in the story, leaving to regain that lost agency was the best thing she could’ve done FOR HERSELF. And Sam, of all people, who had his agency stolen from him when he was 6 months old and fed demon blood, can understand that.

If Sam and Eileen are meant to be, they BOTH need to come to that decision for reasons other than “Chuck wants to hurt us with each other for plot reasons.” And as important as Eileen as a character is for representation, she’s also elevated herself to another important level in the narrative: She chose HERSELF. She chose her own life and freedom. She chose to walk out of the story and refused to be used by it.

If Eileen comes back to the story again, it will truly be because she CHOSE it for herself. Her entire life up to 11.11 had been the same sort of “revenge narrative” that the Winchesters had endured. She got her win, and then was faced with the question (posed to her by Sam) of what she was going to do next. When we next see her, in 12.17, we see that she has apparently continued her life as a hunter. She’s drawn into helping with an “all hands on deck” situation, in finding Dagon and Kelly Kline, and then her involvement in that hunt directly leads to her death in the most awful and ableist way possible-- literally hunted down by Chuck’s “big bad threat” of the season, to drive Sam and Dean into Chuck’s ever-narrowing maze of choices leading up to their confrontation with Lucifer in 12.23 (and Cas’s death by Lucifer’s hand, and everything that followed... including Dean’s formal complaint of a prayer to Chuck himself in 13.01. I mean, given Chuck’s favored story, he must’ve been wringing his hands with glee at Dean’s hopeless suffering in early s13, you know?). 

I need to go back to Sam’s experiences with the BMoL himself. In Sam’s ongoing, lifelong issues that I’ve been tagging as “Sam vs Reality” for years now, the weapon of torture that Toni Bevell used to manipulate Sam... was specifically a fake/drug-and-torture induced romance plot. After 12.02 aired, please recall the abject horror of the entire fandom over the rape by deception plotline between Sam and Toni-- after spending the entire hellatus wondering if Toni was being set up with a “love at first stab” redemption arc in much the same way Cas had in s4. For folks that hadn’t been in the fandom during the post-s11 hellatus, this seemed to be a serious potential, until 12.02 burned that notion to the ground. Eileen’s suspicious return to the narrative in s15 rang alarm bells in my head for this exact reason.

I need people to understand why I feel so viscerally uncomfortable with Sam and Eileen’s relationship as it stands in s15. Everyone has the absolute right to find their relationship cute, or truly romantic, or to hope that they are endgame together. But I also think I have the absolute right to feel wary of it, considering all of this ^^. 

Plus, to me, all of this *IS* the interesting character stuff we’ve all been here for all these years. We’re all giddily engaging with Dean’s long-standing issues with anger, abandonment, fear, self-worth, and identity coming to fruition in s15. Even the most die-hard destiel shippers haven’t ignored the deep underlying character arcs of both Dean AND Cas as their relationship is finally being defined, clarified, and hopefully resolved in the narrative. Do we not owe at LEAST that much to Sam, and his character’s underlying issues? Because I think that’s what the narrative is pushing us to examine here.

And as you said, I also see it as a potential relationship. Yes, one with a LOT of potential based on their chemistry. As things stand after 15.09, there’s every reason to think that Eileen could come back, could accept the offer Sam made with that kiss. I saw it as him laying a potential foundation, his way of saying “maybe it wasn’t real up to this point, but we could choose it if that’s what you wanted, too.” I also see it as up to Eileen herself if she can lay that baggage down and begin building a relationship based on mutual choice, understanding, respect, affection, and potentially love and romance. If Eileen is Sam’s endgame love interest, to me it would necessitate their choice to give a future together a shot. It would be a beautiful new beginning in life, for both of them, rather than the culmination of more than a decade of emotional relationship issues that Dean and Cas are facing, you know? There is a difference, and equating the relationships on a surface level is fine, but the presumption that we’re supposed to just accept that the two relationships are equal in terms of underlying emotional context is... at least a little disturbing to me, because ^^^^^^.

Heck, I think I’ve officially emotionally wrung myself out typing about all of this again, but I appreciate having the space to actually work through my own feelings about all of this, too.

[maiaisbia]

no new friends (some new friends)

Simon introduces Raphael to video games, or so he thinks...

Gen | words: 1653 | ao3

“Okay, you’re going to love this,” Simon was talking excitedly, fiddling with the TV in the central of the clan common areas.

Raphael was keeping an eye on him, making sure he didn’t break anything. Since taking over as clan leader, Raphael had worked to find ways to bring them all closer together. Having clean, comfortable places for them all to hang out during the day was one part of this. He had spent good money on the TV Simon was now behind.

“Watch out!” Raphael used his vampire speed to catch the TV as it tipped.

“Sorry!” Simon said. Raphael held the TV until Simon reappeared. “Okay, I have attached the Switch.”

“Excuse me?”

“The Nintendo Switch!” Simon pointed at the little device, now in a stand and hooked up. “You told me everyone gets to add something to make the Dumort feel like home.”

“You don’t even live here,” Raphael pointed out. “Did you take some money to pay for this?”

“Yes, from the community savings-”

“You know what, that’s fine,” Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose and mentally moved Simon up on his list of problem clan members. “Why do you think I’ll love this?”

“I’m going to show you the wonders of modern technology,” Simon said, sitting on the couch, controller in hand.

Raphael settled a few cushions over. “Lewis, do you think I haven’t played video games before?”

Simon turned, looking surprised. “You have?!”

Raphael hid his amusement with a scoff. “Magnus has been buying consoles since they first started being made. He’s always loved to see advances in technology, even if he isn’t always very good at using them.” Raphael picked up the second controller resting on the couch between them. “Who do you think helped set them up?”

Instead of being annoyed he wasn’t teaching Raphael something new, Simon’s face lit up. “That’s so cool! I never thought of that part of...” Simon gestured to himself.

“Being a nerd?” Raphael asked, knowing it was a meaningless dig.

As expected, it made Simon laugh, his fangs flashing. “Being immortal! Wow, you really have watched all these huge leaps in technology.” Simon then frowned. “Actually, I don’t know how old you are.”

Raphael glanced at the screen, hoping to draw Simon’s attention back to it. It didn’t work. “That’s a rather rude question.”

“Oh, sorry.” Simon didn’t sound sorry and was still looking at him expectantly.

Sighing, Raphael said, “I was born in the 1930s. I’m considered rather young, and you are practically a baby.” He glanced at Simon and decided to impart some wisdom, something Magnus had told him. “When dealing with mortals, especially shadowhunters, you should always lie about your age. The older they think you are, the more intimidating and formidable they also assume you are.”

“Oh, huh,” Simon said, looking thoughtful as he turned back to the TV. He flipped through a few screens that Raphael attempted to follow along. “So how old is Magnus really?”

“Depends,” Raphael smiled. “He might tell you the truth one day if he trusts you.”

“So mysterious,” Simon said, still in good humor. Nothing really phased him, and Raphael was a little jealous of that. He had not been in a good place after he had been turned, and Magnus was the only one who had been able to get him through. “Is that another requirement of immortality?”

“Yes,” Raphael said, as the music began to play on the TV.

“I wish there was a guide book,” Simon mused, flicking through what seemed to be the newest iteration of Smash Brothers.

“No guide book, but hopefully everyone finds someone who has been through it to guide them,” Raphael said and selected Pikachu. Simon stared at him for that, mouth hanging over. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Simon chose Link. As the screen loaded, he continued, “Thank you for what you’ve done to help me. I know I haven’t made it easy at times.”

“No, you haven’t,” Raphael said, quickly testing all the controls. Pikachu and the controller were almost able to keep up with his speed. “But no fledgling is easy to deal with. Add to that your baffling friendships with shadowhunters...”

“Rude,” Simon said, as Link sent Pikachu flying. Raphael growled. “But I can understand. They are kinda cops...”

“No kind of about it,” Raphael muttered, and got revenge as Link tumbled off the battlefield. He was getting the hang of the new controller shape. “But you’re welcome. You fall under my responsibility in a lot of ways.”

“I am an adult,” Simon said, and blew up both Link and Pikachu.

“You were barely an adult human, and now you are a baby vampire,” Raphael explained, Pikachu grabbing a sword that fell from the sky.

“Maybe so,” Simon laughed again. The round ended with Link winning, and Raphael huffed in frustration. “Damn that was a close match. You weren’t lying about knowing how to play.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“I bet you haven’t played Skyrim.”

-.-.-.-

“No...” Raphael said and had a sinking feeling he was going to regret this.

A week later, Raphael found himself texting Magnus, [Can I come over?]

[Of course! Anything the matter?] Magnus responded only a few minutes later.

[No, I just have something to show you.] Raphael slipped into the community room. Some of his clan were doing their yearly binge watch of Friends. Raphael rolled his eyes at what was happening on the screen, and set about detaching the Switch.

[Certainly! Come whenever you’re ready.] Magnus texted. [I can send the hubby away.]

[Please never refer to Lightwood as that again.] Raphael quickly sent back. Magnus teased that using vampire speed for texting was cheating and that vampires should have to struggle with the rest of the immortals.

Instead, he sent at the same time Magnus did. [*Lightwood-Bane.]

Finishing packing the Switch, putting it in a bag so that no one would know what it was, he left the Dumort, tossing over his shoulder, “Be good!”

“Okay, mom!” One of the vampires, who was older than Raphael by nearly a hundred years, called back. And as teasing as the tone was, Raphael knew they would probably listen to him. They usually did. Shaking his head with a smile, he headed into the growing evening.

It didn’t take long to get to the loft. Raphael could use his speed, and climb over buildings if he wanted. Normally he would take his time, but he was rather excited to show Magnus the games. He lifted his hand to knock on the door just as it opened.

Alec smiled down at him while shrugging on a coat. “Hey, Raphael.”

“Hello,” Raphael greeted, stepping around him.

“I’m meeting my family for dinner,” Alec offered.

“I didn’t ask,” Raphael informed him, slipping off his shoes and hanging up his own coat.

“Wonderful to see you too, have fun!” Alec said, chuckling. He then shouted past Raphael. “Bye Magnus, I love you!”

“Love you too,” Magnus said, appearing and giving Alec a quick kiss. Raphael was not above making a face at them, so he did. When the door was closed behind Alec, Magnus turned his attention to Raphael and pulled him into a hug. Raphael relaxed, hugging him back.

When Magnus let go, Raphael picked the bag off the floor, holding it up to him. “I brought something I think you’ll like.”

“And I’m intrigued.” Magnus followed Raphael into the living room.

“We need your TV,” Raphael set about taking out the gaming system and some of the games from the little library Simon had somehow amassed in a week. If Raphael had looked away from the additional money taken from the community pool... well no one would know but him.

Magnus snapped his fingers and the living room rearranged itself so the couches and chairs faced a large TV. Raphael was unsure where Magnus kept it the rest of the time but understood it didn’t work with the aesthetic he was going with. Raphael then set about attaching the Switch to the TV.

“Look at this little thing,” Raphael handed the tablet of the Switch for Magnus to look over. “It can play so many more games than its bigger ancestors.”

Magnus turned it over in his hands. “Mundanes really are onto something with their computing systems. Do you think I can magically enhance this?”

“I don’t think you need to.” Raphael took the tablet back and slid it into the dock to connect it to the TV. He turned to find Magnus had settled on the couch, additional pillows and blankets now summoned around him, and some snacks on the coffee table. Some were altered so Raphael could enjoy them. Magnus was good at meeting dietary needs without having to be asked.

It was one of the many reasons that the comfort and feeling of home settled over Raphael whenever he was with Magnus. If there was anyone who Raphael was completely at ease with, it was Magnus. Magnus had taken care of Raphael in his darkest times, and Raphael had tried to return that care whenever he could. Moments like this, when there wasn’t anything dire happening, were his favorite. It was nice to spend time with someone who he could be totally relaxed around.

Climbing onto the couch and into the nest of pillows, Raphael handed Magnus a controller. Magnus accepted it, adjusting to tuck his feet under himself and lean slightly against Raphael’s shoulder. The last of the tension left Raphael’s body, and he tugged a blanket over his and Magnus’ shoulders.

“Ready to lose?” Raphael asked, selecting Smash Brothers as Simon had. Skyrim blinked tauntingly and Raphael didn’t want to think of the hours he had already sunk into it.

“To you my boy? Always.” Raphael felt Magnus’ laughter and smiled. “Let’s see what has changed.”

“I call Pikachu.”

Magnus laughed harder. “Well, apparently some things stay the same.”

[shadowhuntersaumondays]

THE MASTERPOST.

These past few months have been unreal, and you’ve all been working so so hard, so on behalf of all the mods here at SHAUMondays - congratulations! You made it to the end and we’re all in awe of the fantastic work everyone created. 

Thank you all so much for participating. You’ll be getting an e-mail in the next few days including an exit survey, which we’d really appreciate if you could fill out. 

Thank you all again, and we hope you’ve had as much of a blast as we have.

Love, the SHAUMondays Squad 

(when i close my eyes) i dream in colour by ohprongs / @katlisha

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Inception AU, Canon-Typical Violence, Non-sexual Consent Issues, Minor Character Death, Ensemble Cast

Main relationship(s): Magnus/Alec, Clary/Izzy

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Twenty years ago, Valentine Morgenstern and Luke Garroway led a team of the world’s best extractors — industrial espionage agents who steal secrets from people’s dreams. Not remotely legal and more than a little dangerous, it wasn’t until Valentine went rogue that Luke and Jocelyn, the team’s architect, decided they had to stop him.

The past catches up with them twenty years later. Clary, Jocelyn and Luke’s daughter, vows revenge on Valentine for what he does to her mom, which forces a reluctant Luke back into the field for one final mission to make sure Clary doesn’t get herself killed, too.

This last job needs a team of dedicated specialists — and who better to turn to to find them than Luke’s old friend, Maryse Lightwood? She helps Luke put together a team of the finest agents she knows — three of her children, Alec, Izzy and Jace — and, along with rookies Clary and Simon, they’ve nearly got a whole gang. If only someone knew whether the rumours about the world-famous extractor Magnus Bane resurfacing were true...

(or, the inception au no one asked for)

Beta: @alecsimon

Art: Gifset by @alishaawainwright

A Freaky Situation by Onthecyberseas / @onthecyberseas

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Important tags: Canon-Verse, Bodyswap

Main relationship(s): Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Herondale/Simon Lewis

Length: Mini Bang (10k)

Summary: A demon swaps Izzy and Jace’s bodies, forcing them to admit hidden truths.

Beta: @atswim-twocows

Art: Art by @ijustreallylikechemistry

Against All Odds by sweetautumnleaves / @magnusandalexander

Rating: Explicit

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternative Universe - Human, tennis!player Alec, business!Magnus, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst and hurt/comfort, eventual happy ending, protective siblings

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood., side: Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, Luke Garroway/Maryse Lightwood

Length: mini bang (10k)

Summary: When Alec meets Magnus at a friend’s concert, he is immediately lost in the man’s presence. But the timing isn't right since Alec is busy on becoming a successful tennis player.

Now, two years later, he sees Magnus again. Out of all the places, they meet at the Lightwoods’ summer residence. During a time when Alec is recovering from a serious injury and trying to sort his life. But one look at Magnus and it seems like time stopped, and they’re back the night two years ago. And maybe this time. it's the right time and place to take a risk and find out if they actually stand a chance against all odds...

Beta: @mattdaddorkio

Art: gif/graphic set by @shadowrld

be my light in the dark by hufflebee / @hufflebee

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: Author chose not to use Archive warnings

Important tags: Pining, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Friends To Lovers, Demigods, Friendship

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Maia Roberts/Isabelle Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood/Luke Garroway

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: .Going to Camp Half-Blood is something Alec, a son of Apollo, looks forward to every summer, but when he arrives, he finds one of his best friends is missing. Suddenly nothing is more important than saving Magnus, even if it means going against Magnus's father, Hades himself. With the help of Maia, Simon and Izzy, Alec goes on a journey to find his best friend, one he may be in love with, as well as the truth about why he was taken in the first place

Beta: @maiarobers

Art: moodboard by @packleaderluke

beneath a different light by bravest / @malectrify

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Canon divergent AU, immortality, implied/referenced self-harm, Edom angst, no more parabatai bond

Main relationship(s): Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Magnus goes to Edom. Alec goes after him.

Beta: @aestheticventing

Art: Fanart by @mundanelion

Change the World, Get the Guy by satonawall / @satonawall

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Modern setting, scientist!Magnus, warlock!Magnus, mundane!Alec, background Catarina Loss/Dot Rollins

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Isabelle leaned against the doorframe. “Any progress?”

Magnus looked around at the notes spread around him. “As dear old Thomas used to say, I’ve found 10,000 ways that won’t work, so we’ll call it a productive day.”

Magnus looked around at the notes spread around him. “As dear old Thomas used to say, I’ve found 10,000 ways that won’t work, so we’ll call it a productive day.”

Magnus Bane has dedicated his immortal life to science, new inventions and discovering everything magic can do. After years of hard work, he is so, so close to revolutionising transportation by creating a magical portal that actually works, but he has let his work take over his whole life. However, when Isabelle, his mundane assistant researcher, brings around her brother Alec, Magnus’s obsessive focus wavers for the first time in a decade. Maybe giving himself a few breaks will actually help him figure out the magical theory behind portals. 

Beta: @icymalec

Art: drawing(s) by @keristrasza

Enkrateia by L_ecureuil / @bloodboneandmuscle 

Rating: Explicit 

Archive warnings: Graphic depictions of violence 

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology Gods, god!Magnus, mortal!Alec, Canon Typical Violence, Mentions of Suicide, mentions of era typical prostitution and slavery, Attempted Arranged Marriage, Immortal Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood 

Main relationship: Magnus Bane / Alec Lightwood 

Length: Big bang (20k)  

Summary: Magnus is a god from a distant land who comes across a Greek man who is tormented by his gods. Magnus is not cruel, he will not stand for the Greek gods tearing this brave man apart, so he concocts a plan to yank the toughened hero from the gods’ hands. 

Meanwhile, Alec’s mortal life is a never-ending chase, one which now consists of getting the Spartan Princess out from her cursed marriage. With not trust in the gods, Alec needs more than just his wits to keep them safe from the elements. 

He soon realizes someone peculiar is offering to lead the way. 

Beta: @galacticfrost @oneknightstander 

Art: Digital Art by @magnus-rulerofhell

everything he could never be by em_the_gem / @alecsgideon

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: single parent AU, friends to lovers, emotional hurt, family feels, mentions of slight dysphoria, mentions of alcohol abuse,

Main relationship(s): Magnus/Alec

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: In between jobs, Alec and his son, Max, move to Alec's mother's country home where they meet Magnus and his son, Rafael - the small family Maryse rented the 1st floor out to. As a big city MD and single dad, Alec finds himself fascinated by Magnus' eccentric healing practice, parenting methods and deep brown eyes.And while preparing for the move to London, finally spending time with his son, and juggling his growing affection towards Magnus, the ghosts of Alec's childhood threaten to disturb the peace he'd found surrounded by his family.

Beta: @tylerhunklin

Art: picspam/moodboard by @belovedbane

Faking the Truth by alexanderfightwood / @bowcfwar

Rating: Explicit

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: fake relationship, smut, friends to lovers, angst, holiday, fake boyfriend au, mentions of homophobia

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alexander Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Mundane AU. Alec’s annual Christmas vacation is coming up. It's the one time a year his parents put their work lives away long enough to focus on him and his siblings. However, this year both Izzy and Jace are bringing their significant others and he hasn't even been on a date since he came out. He wishes he had someone to bring since his parents still try to continuously set him up with women. It seems Magnus Bane may be Alec's knight in shining armour. 

Or: Another Fake Boyfriend AU

Beta: @wonderdaysoflunacy

Art: gifsets by @magswoods

Family of Four by booknerdqueen / @le-fangirl-queen

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warnings: Author chose not to use Archive warning

Important tags: Malec AU, Human AU, Malec and kids, babysitter Alec, Fashion magazine head Magnus, jealousy and insecurity, fluff

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang but slightly over 10k

Summary: Magnus Bane is an excellent father, at least that was what he had thought.

Things have been busy since he became the head of ‘Downworlders’ magazine which is now one of the most popular fashion magazine, and started his own fashion line. But he didn’t realize how much he had been neglecting his children until they set the sofa on fire in his absence.

And then he found the perfect solution to his problem- a babysitter. Alexander Lightwood is perfect in every way. He is a good cook, kind and helpful, his body is built like Adonis and he has an angelic face, but most of all the kids love him. Maybe he is too perfect.

As Alec bonds with Raphael and Max and the three of them grow closer and closer Magnus starts suspecting that Alec is upto something. Tessa says he is being overdramatic and jealous but that is not true.  Magnus Bane is not jealous.  But as his family begans to unravel and his crush on Alec turns into something much more what is Magnus supposed to do?

Beta: @sims-ple 

Art: Poster manipulation by @beyondthehunt

Flint to Flame by magnusragnor / @alecsimon

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Important tags: AU, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Firefighter!Magnus, Light Angst, Mutual Pining

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Magnus is the Captain of one of the finest fire stations in NYC. When he meets Alec, a handsome stranger, at an event, he secretly hopes their one night fling can turn into something more, but the last thing he's expecting is to see him standing among the other firefighter recruits.

(aka the firefighter au no one asked for)

Beta: @katlisha

Art: Gifset by @magnusbaene

Hiding Ragnor by SalazarTipton / @itsragnorfell

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Canon Divergent, mentions of canon Camille/Magnus, Asexual Relationship, Fake Character Death, Homophobia/Acephobia

Main relationship(s): Ragnor Fell/Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Ragnor knows Magnus is coming, so he hatches a plan to fall off Valentine and the Circle's radar for good. Too bad he wasn't prepared for a demon to cause a hitch in his plans to fake his own death.

Beta: @rosevestsuperman

Art: Gif by @maiababerts

Hopelessly Devoted to You by notcrypticbutcoy / @notcrypticbutcoy

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: minor character death, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, homophobia, mentions of domestic abuse, mention of suicide, angst with a happy ending

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: When Magnus Bane walks into Alec’s third grade classroom, a scowl printed on his face and a permanent chip on his shoulder, Alec has no idea that, one day, this scrawny smart-ass will mean the world to him. He has even less idea that he’ll mean just as much to Magnus. (In which Magnus and Alec are destined for each other, everyone around them can see it, and sometimes, love is found in the most unexpected places.)

Beta: @ithinkimightbelost925

Art: Digital Art by @bloodboneandmuscle

Lantern Of Our Love by FiendMaz / @maztri

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe – Harry Potter Setting, Established Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, True Love, Sweet, Romantic Fluff, Pick-Up Lines, Engagement/Friendship and Magnus POV.

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini Bang (10k)

Summary: A very special day in the life of the Founders of the Endangered Magical Creatures Conservation, the High Warlock (Auror) Magnus Bane and Hogwarts Care of Magical Creatures Professor Alec Lightwood.

Beta: @alecisgay

Art: Photo Manipulation by @djchika

melt your headaches (call it home) by tomfoolery14 / @champagnemagnus

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Set in the show canon alternate universe from This World Inverted. Six months after meeting at the Institute party, Magnus and Alec are balancing the unconventionality of a relationship that merges the mundane and supernatural worlds with the threat arising from the dreams Magnus is plagued with even while he's awake. With the knowledge that something dark and destructive is coming, they must scramble for answers and a way to handle what happens when their two worlds collide.

Beta: @alecsimon

Art: Moodboard by @banesomamori

of the night by magicmagnus / @magicmagnus

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Slow Burn, Mild Horror, Flirting, Pandemonium, WIP

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alexander Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: When journalist Isabelle Lightwood goes missing during an investigation for an upcoming article, her brother, detective Alec Lightwood, takes matters into his own hands. His search for his sister leads him to the mysterious Pandemonium nightclub -- a supposedly haunted venue that has been at the center of a series of disappearances spanning decades. Once inside, Alec attempts to wind his way through the crowds and various floors, only to realize that not only is the nightclub bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but also that he is unable to leave. In order to find his sister and free himself and the others trapped inside, Alec must employ the help of Magnus Bane -- an elusive and alluring man whose own fate is deeply entangled with that of the club.

Beta: @banesomamori

Art: gifset by @dimshums

on a bed of roses (where i wanna kiss your silhouette) by Aurelie (NowImJustSomebodyThat) / @ravenschmaven

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Important tags: Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Canonical Character Deaths, Canon-Typical Violence, Ratings May Change

Main relationship(s): Jace Wayland/ Maia Roberts

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Maia Robert's life has been defined by the continuous presence of dandelions marking her skin. Jace Wayland's life took a turn for the unusual when four thin lines of strawberry flowers wound their way around his neck.

Beta: @chaoswillcalmusdown

Art: Painting by @portialins

Open Books by parabatributts / @parabatributts 

Rating: General Audiences

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Fluff, Pining, secret identity, all human au

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Minibang (10k)

Summary: Alec looked up. “I still can’t believe you use the word ‘ships.’”

“I’m a true fan, Alexander. I need to be a master of fandom terminology," Magnus replied.           

Beta: storytellerandstorytold

Art: Manipulation by @beyondthehunt

Part of Her World by theloverneverleaves / @mermaidmaiabelle

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Mermaids, Marine Biologist Maia, Mermaid Isabelle, Mentions of Past Abusive Relationships

Main relationship(s): Maia Roberts / Isabelle Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: The research trip to the small Caribbean island of Idris is a dream come true for Maia Roberts. After years of study, a joint project with Dr Magnus Bane will finally give her what she needs to get her own PhD. After leaving everything she knows behind for her work, she just might just find that there's more to life on a tropical island than just working all day. That and the island seems to have a few secrets to reveal, and one of them is called Isabelle...

aka mermaid au ft. science bros maia, magnus & luke

Beta: @itsragnorfell

Art: Moodboard by @katlisha

shadowhunters 99 and the worst case of all: heteronormativity by melbopo / @maiababerts

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Canon-Typical Violence, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mentions of racism and homophobia

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary:  Magnus knows that becoming the new captain of the one squad in the whole state that has not one but both of the younger siblings of his sworn enemy is bound to be a mistake but he deserves to be in charge of his own command. He knows how much good he can do with this leadership position. Who knows, maybe he'll even teach the nine-nine some new things as they solve Brooklyn's toughest cases.

Maybe they'll even teach him something.

Beta: @sunshinerosende

Art: Gifset by @meliorn

silence is golden (and you've got my hopes up) by baneandgone / @theparabatri

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Human, musician!alec

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Magnus looks like art, and for the first time in a while Alec wishes he had his phone on him, just so he could snap a picture. (aka where alec goes on a holiday, of sorts, and maybe comes back with more than just a souvenir)

Beta: @nerdyfangirl57

Art: Drawing by @atswim-twocows

Six of Swords by enkelimagnus / @enkelimagnus

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Human AU, Psychic Abilities, Serial Killer, Obsessive Brotherly Love, Slowburn, Internalized Homophobia, Repressed emotions.

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray/Maia Roberts, Catarina Loss/Dorothea "Dot" Rollins

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Magnus Bane was born with a gift. A gift to harness a power and a sense that most cannot access. A gift that made him somewhat of an outcast. He’s 28 when, one morning, he is arrested and interrogated for the murder of 3 of his clients. He’s made his living as a psychic, and that very fact makes him more than suspicious to the man in charge of the case, FBI Alec Lightwood. Unfortunate orders leave Magnus and Alec forced into an uncomfortable cohabitation. What happens when two people, so different yet similar, are forced to live together? Let’s not get too comfortable here, because the murderer is still loose…

Beta: @loveislarryislove

Art: Graphic by @some-thrilling-heroics

The Dragon Prince by Kaye_Fraser / @kayefraser

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Mild Language,Chinese Mythology-Based AU, Urban Fantasy-type AU, Captivity, Master/Servant Roleplay Reference, Dragon!Magnus, Businessman!Alec

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bang/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Alec has only known one goal in life: to restore his family's name and wealth to what it once was. It has guided his actions and choices from childhood, and it is what motivates him to attend an elite party in Hong Kong where he plans to take on one of the world's most powerful businessmen. He thinks he has his family's end game all planned out, until a chance encounter leads him to a subterranean cavern beneath the party mansion - and the strange man trapped inside.

Magnus never particularly cared for humans, always thinking they were basically there for simple amusement. Still, because of one 'small' transgression against the Jade Emperor centuries ago, he has been sentenced to several lifetimes of servitude at their hands. But when an intriguing mortal stumbles into his prison, he begins to reconsider everything he's believed about them.

Beta: @bonibaru

Art: Digital Art by @pandoraylam

The Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name by humansunghine / @humansunshineao3

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe: Victorian, period-typical homophobia, period-typical racism, angst with a happy ending.

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: The year is 1894, and queer culture is quietly thriving in London and across Europe. Magnus Bane, an important and highly intelligent diplomat from Batavia, is nervous and thrilled to have been selected to negotiate greater freedoms for the people of his home country. Alec Lightwood is the eldest son of the Foreign Secretary, a dedicated student at Oxford University, and is writing his dissertation on international relations between the Dutch East Indies and the surrounding countries.

They’ll have a lot to talk about when they meet in a society gala at the Houses of Parliament. Magnus has spent his life focussing on honing his mind so he can ignore his heart, and when that mind is met with the mind of Alexander Lightwood’s, his heart cannot stay silent any longer. Alec has spent the better part of his youth exploring his identity as an openly queer man in the microcosm of his college, and refuses to accept that Magnus, a successful diplomat, can’t have his cake and eat it too.

Or: A mundane!Malec AU set in 1890s England and Amsterdam.

Beta: @aceraphaelsantiagos

Art: Moodboard by @parabacri

The Vampire, The Witch, and Vengeance by alistoney / @lightwormsiblings

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Supernatural au, mentions of violence, enemies to lovers

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Alec thinks that the vampire case that he and Jace are on in Brooklyn will be just another ordinary case in their lives as hunters. Find the monster, kill it, and you’re done. But when he meets Magnus Bane, a mysterious man who can use magic, everything he thought he knew about hunting monsters changes.

Or a Shadowhunters Supernatural AU with a side of Malec

Beta: @lesbiankarolinadean

Art: Moodboard by @fear-frost

The Vanishing Vixen by CobaltCorvus / @squidpro-quo

Rating: General Audiences

Archive warnings: No Archive warnings apply

Important tags: Alternate Universe - Magic, Familiars and Warlocks

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Clary's acting oddly and Simon needs help. Magnus Bane, the man with the adorably aloof black cat, is his best hope. A peek behind the curtain of Magnus Bane's work leads to more than just a cup of coffee and a lot more mystery.

Beta: @parabatributts

Art: Moodboard by @lesbiandot

To Fly is to Risk Falling by AStudyInFic / @brooklynxmagic

Rating: Explicit

Archive warnings: Author chose not to use Archive warnings

Important tags: mentions of homophobia, mentions of abuse, short period of Magnus/Camille relationship, alcohol abuse, depression, inadvertent suicide attempt

Main relationship: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big bang (20k)

Summary: Thrown out by his parents and forbidden from seeing his siblings, when Alec's grandfather Andrew passes, he loses the only family he has left. One night Alec receives a mysterious package in the mail, his birthright from Andrew whose death left Alec alone in the world. Inside, he discovers his family secret: the firstborn Lightwood of every other generation has wings. With the knowledge of how to unlock his wings, Alec takes to the skies over New York every night, as a way to escape the sadness of his life. One night, he sees a man far too drunk to be standing that close to a railing and catches him just in time. So starts a tentative relationship between the 'broken' Magnus Bane and his guardian angel who appears on his penthouse balcony every night. Together the two start to heal on their own and as a pair.

Beta: @1-maleclove-8

Art: Gifs and Digital Images by @maraudeursera

War is sweet to those who haven't experienced it by fanetjuh / @acourtofhopeanddreams

Rating: Mature

Archive warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Important tags: AU: World War II, AU: No powers, OT3, trigger warning: sorta cheating, multiple POV's, letters

Main relationship(s): Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Clary Fray, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray/Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: When Simon Lewis, soldier across the sea fighting in the war, accidentally mixes up his letters for Clary and Isabelle, the unexpected happens. Clary and Isabelle go look for each other and it's the start of a future neither of them has ever imagined.

Beta: @rosevestsuperman

Art: Drawing by @rexundergod

When The Devil Comes To Town by Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright  / @the-burning-tiger

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warnings: Author chose not to use Archive warnings

Important Tags: Shadowhunters/Lucifer crossover AU, Mentions of murder victims, Crime Scenes (not too graphic), attempt at humor

Main Relationship: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big Bang (20k)

Summary: Magnus had hoped that things would finally calm down after the final defeat of Sebastian and Valentine. He really should've known better.

All his hopes of spending some quality time with his wonderful boyfriend Alec Lightwood disappear with the arrival of his uncle Lucifer Morningstar and his-not-entirely-mundane partner Detective Chloe Decker. If that wasn't bad enough someone is killing off warlocks and Alec and Magnus find themselves dragged into the investigation.

So now the pair of them only need to help catch a killer whilst simultaneously try and keep Chloe Decker in the dark about the Shadowworld....so that should be simple...or not.

Beta: @anonomonomous99

Art: digital artwork by @pandoraylam

With Galaxies Inside Us by coziness / @alecfancywood

Rating: Mature

Archive Warnings: No archive warnings apply

Important Tags: Star Wars AU, Jedi Magnus, Pilot Alec

Main Relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood/Maia Roberts, Maryse Lightwood/Luke Garroway

Length: Big Bang (20k)

Summary: The thing is, he was seeing someone. Not in the sense that would make his sister grin but in the sense that he was quite literally seeing this man, but he was sure that the man was not real. And even if he was, he was never truly where Alec was but in his mind. He was seeing a man that was never actually there.

or. a Star Wars AU where Magnus is a Jedi and Alec is a Pilot for the Resistance. They're complete strangers on the different sides of the Galaxy. Until a connection begins.

Beta: @a-conspiracy-of-cartographers

Art: Gifset by @simonmagnus

Working On Love by hoteldumortz / @sunnyalec

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings apply

Important tags: Drinking, Mentions of it and actual characters who are drunk, Emotional Abuse and the effects of it, Alec cries a lot and so does Magnus, Swearing but not copious amounts, AU, Slow Burn

Main relationship(s): Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Mini bang (10k)

Summary: Being in love with the office receptionist was the most cliche and romcomy plot that Magnus never expected himself to fall into, but he certainly wasn’t complaining as Alec snuck another glance his way, face turning pink as he gave him a tiny wave.

Or the loosely-based The Office AU where Magnus is Jim and Alec is Pam

Beta: @packleaderluke

Art: painting by @alecsimon

Woven in my Soul by Itenoria / @themagnusbane

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Important tags: AU, minor character death

Main relationship: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Length: Big Bang (20k)

Summary: What if the devil employs the services of an angel to find his missing prince of hell?

Isabelle Lightwood's charge is in hell. To save Isabelle from being stripped of her wings, banished to earth and having all memories of her wiped out forever, Alec Lightwood goes to hell to retrieve the charge's soul. But Asmodeus makes a counter offer. Alec can have Maia Roberts, human and lover of the angel Isabelle back, if he brings back Asmodeus' son: Magnus Bane who pulled a Houdini, got out of hell and hasn't been back since. Luckily for Alec, Magnus sends postcards.

Beta: @the-crownless-queen

Art: Digital art by @pandoraylam

[tmnt-veelicious]

Across the Stars - Ch.3

Warning, mentions of panic attacks in this chapter !! I can say it’s minor, but it’s mentionned and described twice. Things will get happier soon, I promise :’) !!! I’m just a sucker for hurt/comfort aaahhh First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

She hated this. Like the whole world was against her. First the rain on her way to work, then the worst customers and Vee constantly dropping pile of clothes around or slamming her leg or foot hard against a table or a corner. And then her parents HAD to call her, asking for news, how her plans were doing. The lack of improvement regarding her artistic career always created some tension amongst the family, and now the fact that she had moved to New York bringing confusion and disappointement. Yes she had wanted to flee. Vee wanted to start fresh, but the glooming menace of failure always followed her, not even caring about her path. She wanted to disappear. The apartment was empty, Vee knowing April was spending the night at Casey's. She was glad, but on the other hand she feared being alone... Her vision was blurry, her breath harsh. She tried to remove her coat, but every movements felt like a hard task, her legs suddenly shaking. No. Not now. She collapsed against the entry door, sitting down, knees brought up, arching her head towards them. She wanted to hide, she wanted the thoughts to stop. Sobs and hiccups escaped her, cursing her miserable state. She felt like being in an endless loop, nothing ever changing, nothing ever improving. Every efforts she ever made were fruitless, as pointless as her life. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, the motion good enough to divert her thoughts for some minutes. She fumbled her hand through her coat's pocket, soon getting the device before her and noticing a new message. (Donnie): Hey, how was your day :)? A smile tried to find its place on her lips, but every attempts failed, her eyes drowning in tears. They had exchanged phone numbers ever since they met up at the lair a week ago and somehow that recomforted Vee, knowing she could join her friend at any given time or place... She didn't know what to answer, her hands numb and shaking. She took some deep breaths, trying to override her emotions so she could sound normal. She mindlessly pushed a button so she could call him, the ringtone almost too loud for her ear. ''Hey Vee!'' His voice was all she needed. ''Hi Donnie, sorry for calling … texting now just feels like a chore.'' ''Is everything alright?'' She could already notice the concern in his voice. She forced a small laugh, trying to sound light-hearted. ''Yeah, I guess. … I just had a long day today.'' She sighed, looking at her free, trembling hand. ''… I was wondering if I could come by your place? April's not here and I don't feel like hanging all by myself.'' ''Yeah, sure! We're not going on patrol tonight so it's totally fine.'' ''Could you come and lead the way, though? I have no clue how to get there. … Gosh I sound so demanding, I'm sorry.'' ''No you don't and I'll be there in twenty minutes approximately.'' ''… Thanks Donnie.'' As soon as the call ended Vee let out a long sigh, her head hanging back so it could rest against the door. She needed to breathe, calm her nerves... She finally got up, already heading for the bathroom. She looked like a mess, her eyes slightly red and her cheeks wet. Grumbling, she proceeded to splash some water over her traits, trying to refresh her. Her shaking had dimnished, but it was still slightly present, especially in her hands and knees. She decided to make herself a cup of tea, knowing waiting would only bring back some bad thoughts... Sitting by the table, her coat hanging nearby, cup in hand, she stared down her brew, her fingers lightly tapping some random rhythms, occupying her somehow. Then she heard a knock on one of the living room's windows, a soft smile coming to her lips as she got to it and noticed the presence of the turtle on the other side, hanging on the balcony nearby. She opened the way to him, next stepping aside so he could come in. ''Hi!'' he simply greeted, his eyes never leaving her. ''Hi,'' she replied, still smiling, although her eyes revealed her tiredness. Donnie couldn't hide his frown, studying the woman. Her posture, everything, showed something was wrong. Even her hand holding a mug was slightly shaking. ''… Are you sure everything's alright?'' he asked. She took a long sip of her tea, arching an eyebrow. ''Yes, genius. As you may recall, I said I had a long day today,'' she answered with a smirk. ''You sure you want to head out then?...'' Vee had moved back to the kitchen to dispose of her cup and next grabbing her coat, her smile now genuine as she got back to the turtle. ''Absolutely! A new environment will do good on my thoughts.'' She was already climbing out the window, finally spotting the mutant who was still inside, watching her. ''… Are you coming or not?'' she asked, amused. She finally saw him smile as he moved, soon next to her, closing the window. As they were making their way down Vee's mood was finally starting to shift, a warm feeling invading her. She felt so at ease by Donatello's side, not even minding as he took her in his arms, jumping down a manhole, soon dwelling into New York's sewers. Now walking side by side, they managed some small talk, Vee mindlessly hooking her arm around Donnie's, sighing with a smile. ''It's so funny to think we can hang out now. … I've somehow always thought you'd be nothing more but a name on a screen, and here you are...'' ''Here I am, with a lovely woman by my side,'' he commented. Vee snorted, looking up to him with amusement, noticing he was now blushing, realizing what he just said. ''I do have my charms, yes, thanks for noticing,'' teased the human. ''Don't ever listen to whatever I say. It's all just mess now.'' ''What now?'' faked Vee, as if she had troubles hearing. ''I'm sorry, I thought I heard someone speak. There must be interferences.'' Donnie snickered, slightly nudging the other in a playful way. They arrived to the lair, the place surprisingly calm, except for some noises coming from a television. As Donatello offered to take the woman's coat, being the gentleman he always was, Vee noticed that the sound was coming from a video game, Michelangelo and Raphael sitting on a couch, occupied with their competition. ''Woah, Super Smash Bros. Sweet,'' commented the woman, getting near. Mikey turned around with a smile, not even caring that he was then getting obliterated by Raph's character. ''Hey angelcakes! Good to see you!'' The end of the game made itself clear, the orange masked turtle suddenly looking at the scream, soon a loud laughter coming out of Raph. ''Well then! Now I know what's the trick for instantly winning against you,'' he said with a grin. ''I just need to bring a hot girl around and you won't pay any attention at all.'' Vee blushed at that remark, surprised. Although it was short-lived as Donnie was back to her side, rolling his eyes. ''Move aside boys and let a pro show you how to really kick butt!'' ''Wait! How about a four players match?'' questionned Mikey. He looked at Vee with a challenging smile. ''Unless the pretty lady is scared.'' Vee entered the game, puffing her posture as to look confident. ''I was born with a super nintendo in my hands,'' she declared. ''I can easily beat you all, video gaming's in my veins.'' The young turtle cheered as Vee was next seated between him and Donatello on the couch, soon given a controller. Her character choice was stopped on Fox as Mikey chose Samus, Raph Bowser and Donnie Greninja. The match was set with no time limit, only with five lifes each. And Vee proved to be a real challenge for the mutants. As the match went on, it was soon left to her against Donatello, both character's speed proving to be a good trial, until it finally resolved to the woman winning, all four players cheering from the thrill (Donnie was slightly pouting, jokingly, although he was a good sport about all this). ''Who won?'' asked a new voice. All of them turned to Leonardo who got intrigued by all this comotion. The three other turtles all pointed to Vee who was showing a large grin, victorious. The leader in blue smirked, somehow amused. ''Oh no, nobody's stealing this champion's title in this house, not even a guest.'' He came around the couch, grabbing Raph's controller on the way. ''Time to show who's the boss,'' he joked, sitting on the floor, glaring at Vee with a toothy grin. ''Game on,'' replied the woman, already up for the challenge. He chose Meta Knight, somehow predictable, as Vee took Yoshi. ''What the hell, Vee, you won't stand a chance!'' pointed out Mikey. ''Oh don't worry, I've got some tricks up my sleeves,'' simply answered the human, not even stressed. The rule was changed to three lifes instead of five and the battle began soon enough. At first Vee seemed overwhelmed by the other's prowess, although she was able to catch on, soon leaving both of them with one life each. It was time for the grande finale. Vee tried to look as emotioneless as possible, even if she wanted to laugh. She placed Yoshi near the edge of the map, waiting patiently. ''Vee, move!'' warned Donnie. She did not answer, waiting until Leo's character was near enough and she swallowed it, Yoshi shitting a frickin' egg into the void. The end was soon announced and acclamations roared from the three brothers, Leo too dumbfounded to react. He finally stood up, staring down the human, until he finally cracked a new smile. ''Alright, good game. But I will get my revenge,'' he said, next handing back the controller to Raph. Vee didn't know either she had to act smug or slightly scared. She waited until he was gone before she piped up: ''I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries by beating him.'' ''HA! Hell no,'' commented Raphael, amused. ''Lil' prince needs to be taken down his throne from times to times.'' ''And you totally need to teach us some kick-ass moves, dudette,'' added Mikey. ''That egg thing was awesomely clever.'' ''I can definitely show some of them, but not all if I still want to beat you guys!'' answered Vee with a smirk. With that started a new round, the woman's smile never fading, forever glad of this time she could spend with the turtles. *** The weeks went by, time always flowing too fast for Vee's taste. It was now a little over the middle of October, the air cold and crisp, the trees showing red and orange leaves, as bright as flames. The incoming freshness did bring some good to the woman as she took that as an excuse to bring coffees for Donatello and herself whenever she would go visit the lair. It wasn't rare for the duo to hang together now, mostly spending their time on starting projects, the human simply overjoyed to be able to participate. Even if it was simply cleaning tools, go over some of his lines on blueprints and mixing some fluids in his lab, she was glad to have a little taste of his world, may it be in silence or plunged into deep conversations. She couldn't help her feeling of easiness when around him, the bond they had developped over the last few months only getting stronger. Although she knew there were probably things she still didn't know about him, as she still omitted to reveal some about herself. But she knew things would come to light in time, if it ever was to happen... The last few days had been hard on her overall state. From insomnia to panic attacks, she knew her only salvation was to get herself occupied with various activities. She never mentionned her troubles, but knew too well that the dark circles under her eyes never escaped the mutant's attention. He never said anything, as if awaiting for her to speak or give a certain signal... Only for it to happen one night as she was cleaning some test tubes in his lab, one suddenly escaping her hands and shattering on the floor. ''Ah, shit, I'm so sorry,'' she hissed, cursing herself afterward, trying to search for a broom or anything that could help her clean. He noticed her hands shaking, her movements more frantic than usual. When she failed to find anything to clean, she crouched down, trying to take the broken pieces in her hands. ''Don't touch that! You'll cut yourself!'' warned Donnie, suddenly off from his chair, grasping her arm and putting her back on her feet. He noticed the woman's pained expression. At first he thought he was probably holding her a bit too strongly, but then he saw her hands shaking more, soon her knees following. He started to move her out of the lab, grabbing a stool chair on the way. ''No, no, Donnie, wait, I'm fine,'' started to blabber Vee. He didn't say a word, placing the object so it could face his chair and then he seated the human down, him next taking place on his own. ''You are not fine and now I want to hear why,'' he said, never releasing her hands, his eyes fixed on her. ''There's nothing to say.'' Her voice was shaking. ''You want me to overlook how tired you look, fine, '' he added. ''But right now you're showing signs of a panic attack and I'm not going to let you go over that alone.'' He slowly massaged her palms, trying to soothe her. ''… I've seen signs over the last few weeks and I thought you'd open to me one day.'' ''Because there's nothing to say,'' repeated Vee harshly, some tears escaping her eyes without her consent, looking away. ''It's something I'm going through all by myself and I don't see why I should bring others in this.'' She tried to calm her emotions as words didn't stop leaving her mouth. ''I've always been like this. I worry too much about things and then I overthink and this happens. I'm trying my best to succeed and please people around me, but everytime it just fails and it's never enough.'' This time she cracked, her head bowing down as a sob escaped her. She had tried so hard to fight everything for weeks, but now she felt weak. Somehow voicing all of this made her realize how bad things were... ''I feel like I'm stuck,'' she continued, her voice breaking. ''I just want to disappear.'' God, she felt so stupid right now. ''I- I didn't want you to see me like this. This is ridiculous...'' She could feel some spasms in her legs, her teeth clenching, trying to control it. She felt Donnie's hands shift, now cupping her cheeks. Her eyes were now planted in his, the mutant's voice almost an echo as he started to speak. ''Follow my lead,'' he said. ''I want you to breathe in for four seconds, keep it in for seven and then exhale for eight. Do it with me.'' Inhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Keep. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Exhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. She could feel his thumbs wiping her tears away, his touch warm and recomforting. Vee's body was slowly starting to calm down, keeping her focus on the turtle and the breathing exercize. After what felt like eternity, Donnie gently pulled the woman towards him, soon letting her sit in his lap. He didn't hesitate to keep her in his arms, embracing her in hopes that she would continue to relax. At first Vee was frozen, but she finally reciprocated the hug, her arms now around his neck, hiding her face against his skin. For once she knew she could forget everything, get lost in this feeling. She could feel his heartbeat, strong and rapid, just like hers. ''… Please, don't hide this from me,'' he started, his voice soft. ''You don't have to face it alone. … Whatever is happening, I want to help you.'' Vee sighed, all her tensed muscles falling, giving in. ''… I just want to stay like this for a moment, if you don't mind.'' ''Not at all,'' he replied, simply leaning back comfortably into his chair, one of his hands mindlessly petting her back. No more words were added, both closing their eyes and letting their thoughts drift away. It was as if a huge weight had fallen off the woman's shoulder, her mind finally clear. She focused on Donatello's touch, soon his caress lulling her to sleep. Right now she felt safe and it was all that mattered. When he noticed the regular pattern in her respiration, he knew she was sleeping. At first he didn't know what to do, nervous, but he decided to shrug it off, knowing Vee's body had probably craved that rest for a long time... He slowly turned his chair back to his computer, deciding to get back to work as the woman was still asleep in his lap. The overall feeling was strange, but not unwelcomed. He had a bit of a hard time to focus, mainly because of what just happened. From their discussions, he always thought Vee to be an overall happy person, always laughing and glad to be helping others, but now it wasn't hard for the turtle to see that this was probably all some sort of facade.  Maybe not completely, knowing the woman tended to have an optimistic view of life, but everyone had their moments of weakness, such as this... ''Hey Donnie, in thirty minutes we'll gear up and go on pat-'' Leo's voice trailed off when he noticed the situation, throwing a questionning glare at his brother. The tall turtle felt like shrinking in his chair, only to sigh briefly. ''… She had a rough day,'' he said, quietly. ''Don't worry, I'll wake her up.'' He knew the leader probably had more questions in him, but the blue masked turtle simply shrugged, prefering to turn away and warn the others of their future departure. Donnie preferred to wait ten more minutes before deciding himself to wake the woman up. He tightened his embrace a little, daring to lightly nuzzle the top of her head. ''Hey Vee...'' She gasped, her body jumping as she tried to get back into the living world. ''Fuck,'' she said in a tired tone. ''I'm sorry I shouldn't have-'' She stopped, her eyes meeting Donnie's. A blush came to her face, realizing how near they were now... At first she wanted to get off, but she was stopped by the mutant's desk, trapped on his lap. ''What the-?'' she grumbled. ''How long was I asleep?'' ''A good fifteen minutes at least,'' answered the turtle, turning his chair around so she could finally stand up. At first Vee's stance was a bit wobbly, her legs still asleep and recovering from her previous shaking, but she soon stabilized as Donnie was up to her side, a hand gently placed on her shoulder. ''You should have woke me up earlier,'' added Vee with a smirk. ''Had I been sleeping longer, I would have probably started drooling.'' ''How horrifying,'' joked the turtle. ''At least you didn't snore.'' ''Ha-ah, you're lucky indeed! … Anyway, why did you awaken this sleeping beauty, o prince charming?'' ''Leo told me we're going on patrol soon,'' answered Donnie, trying not to blush at what the woman had said. ''I guess we'll be dropping you to your place on the way.'' ''That'd be much appreciated.'' She was about to move out of his hold to get a grab of her coat, but the mutant stopped her, holding her hands once more. ''Vee... what just happened …, I don't like seeing you like this. If you need to reach out, please do. You don't have to be ashamed about any of that. We're friends, right? You can tell me anything.'' Vee showed half of a smile, somehow touched by his words. She did not hesitate to get near him once more, hugging him. At first the turtle was surprised, but soon decided to comply, his arms around her, nuzzling the top of her head again. ''I can't promise anything, but I'll try,'' answered Vee. ''I just don't like getting people involved into my bullshit, it gets so depressing.'' ''Try me, I'm tougher than I look!'' That got a soft laugh from Vee, finally looking up to Donnie with a genuine smile. ''Couldn't expect less from someone with a shell on its back.'' Their new proximity sent a slight shiver down their spines, their hold lingering for more than needed... It was only after Mikey's voice resonated across the lair, declaring their departure, that time was finally back on track, both now out of their arms, blushing. *** The night had been calm so far, except for a minor robbery attempt, but it wasn't anything the turtles couldn't stop. They were now sitting on top of a high apartment building, taking in the view before they called the patrol off. ''So,'' started Leo's voice, directed at Donnie. ''What was that thing with Vee all about?'' ''What thing?'' interjected in Mikey, truly curious. ''I caught tech-boy over here sitting in his chair with Vee all cuddled up on his lap.'' Donnie was already annoyed, especially after hearing Mikey commenting on how he was acting like a ''Don Juan''. ''I told you she had a bad day, Leo,'' answered the tall turtle. ''Yeah but having a bad day doesn't always have to equal with cuddling,'' added Raph. ''What's going on between you two anyway?'' ''Sorry for showing basic kindness. We're not poisonous so I don't see why it should be seen as weird or forbidden to hug someone, especially a friend.'' Raph threw his hands in the air, faking to be scared. ''You're the one making a big deal out of this now. … We're just curious 'cause we see how you two keep looking at eachother.'' Donatello sighed, not even denying his brother's words. ''… Look guys, she had a panic attack and I was just trying to calm her. Things seems to go bad for her these days and I just want to help.'' ''Man, she doesn't look like the kind of person to have that sort of struggle...'' commented Mikey, a bit concerned. ''Is she always feeling like that?'' ''I'm guessing some days are better than others,'' answered Donnie, shrugging a little. ''I've just discovered that she suffers from those. She hides it well at times and she's strong, but she shouldn't face it alone...'' ''And so what? Now you wanna try to fix her?'' objected Raph. ''She's a human, Donnie, her problems are not the same as our own. If she's strong, like you said, she'll figure things herself and get better.'' ''You obviously don't know anything about anxiety, do you?'' questionned the tall turtle, frowning. ''No, but what I do know is that if many humans don't want anything to do with us, why would she be any different? Why would she need your help?'' The red masked turtle was now standing straight, trying to make himself look more intimidating just like everytime he would start an argument, but Donatello wasn't phased by it, keeping his position. ''Because we're friends and that's what friends do, they help eachother. Knowing her, she would have already run away if she didn't want any of this.'' ''Okay, enough,'' intervened Leo, getting between the two, especially stopping Raphael. ''We are protectors of this city, Raph, and helping humans is what we do, better they like it or not.'' He looked at Donnie. ''And if one of them can find solace with one of us, fine … as long as it doesn't distract from trainings and patrols. Understand?'' Raph huffed, moving away, knowing he wouldn't be able to argue his way out of the leader's words. Some tension could be felt, until Michelangelo chided in: ''It's like watching a soap opera, dude.'' ''Shut up, Mikey!'' said the three others in unison.

[sageclover61]

War of Illusion part 7/8

The prior parts of this story can be found at the following link: http://sageclover61.tumblr.com/post/176111579487/spn-fic-prompt

Part 7 was already posted, but due to this prompt fill being written out of order, a little bit was added after it was posted that needed to have its own warnings included.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts

Word Count: 3744 Words

Story and tag list below the cut. 

When he landed, Sam was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, smiling widely, a half empty bottle of scotch next to him, amid a myriad of other bottles. It took awhile for Gabriel to figure out how to react. “Hey Sam, what are you doing down there?” he asked, perching on the couch and looking down at his older brother as his head slowly fell to lean against Gabriel’s leg.

Sam laughed bitterly, reaching clumsily for the bottle to take another drink from it. “-fell offa the couch.” His voice slurred, and Gabriel nodded softly.

“And why would you do something like that? The floor doesn't seem anywhere near as comfy as the couch, or a bed, or basically anything else.” Gabe hated that Sam was so hurt by the death of Dean that he felt the need to drink so much, and he really did hope that his plan regarding introducing Sam to Adam would help, but he couldn’t do that if Sam was drunk off his ass. There was just no sense in trying to reason with a drunk Winchester, regardless of which one it was.

Sam mumbled something that was indecipherable, a hand slowly reaching around to grab at Gabriel’s pant leg as he leaned more of his weight on him. “‘It’s Dean’s birthday, an’ I didn’ wanna be upset, but then I just started drinkin’ an’ now I can’t be upset, but I don’ wanna be like this, but I don’ know what to do an’ I don’ wanna be sad but I’m always sad if I don’ drink, but if I don’ drink than I just feel worse and then I start wantin; to jus’ end it, but then everyone else will be sad, and I don’ wanna make everyone sad, but I do anyway when I drink, and…” Sam carried on for a while, unaware that he was repeating himself in his drunken state.

Gabriel’s heart broke for his brother, knowing that this was a combination of Sam’s own sorrow at the loss of Dean, and Lucifer’s deep seated regret for the actions that had led to both him and Michael running from their home to escape the wrath of a Father that claimed to have endless mercy and love for all, yet still threatened death to the one he had once said he loved the most.

It would have been hard enough to deal with everything had it only been Sam’s sorrow, but the recent acquisition of all of Lucifer’s memories had only made the problem worse. And from the look of things, Sam had seen no other option to cope with his pain than to drown it in a bottle before it grew so great that he would see fit to join his brother in Hell.

With a heavy sigh, Gabriel carefully stood, bending down to pick Sam up, paying no mind to the size difference. There was no way that Sam would be able to stand on his own, let alone walk all the way from the couch to the bed, where Gabriel wanted him. “Come on kiddo, that’s more than enough drinking for today. It’s time for you to sleep some of this off before you say or do anything else that you’ll regret later.”

Sam was still mumbling as Gabriel laid him on the bed, only pausing to yawn, before reaching out and grabbing at Gabriel’s shirt and pulling at it. “Oh Sam, you’re breaking my heart here. Alright, move over. I’m not leaving, I promise. Not after what you just admitted.” Shifting Sam over so he could sit next to him, Gabriel smiled sadly as the tall man tried his hardest to get as close to him as possible, slowly falling into a light doze.

There was so much that needed to be done, not only to attempt to prepare for when Dean would return from Hell, but also to even attempt to begin to help Sam recover from the vast amount of pain that he had suffered over his lifetime, as well as from his recently remembered past as Lucifer, that Gabriel didn’t even know where to begin. All he could do was hope that trying to bring Adam into Sam’s life would make things a touch better, but even that was a long stretch. He had tried his hardest, but he couldn’t try to keep Sam afloat any longer by himself. Sam needed Dean, even more than Lucifer had needed Michael all those years ago in Heaven, but there was no way for Gabriel to free Dean without incurring vastly more problems for everyone involved.

But as Sam shifted, burying his head in Gabriel’s side, Gabriel shook his head, running a hand through his hair. There would be plenty enough time to struggle to find a way to keep Sam afloat tomorrow. For tonight, he would watch over Sam, and in the morning, he would take him to meet Adam. And after that?

Well, only the future would tell.

“You’re probably not going to like this, but you should know about it.” Gabriel wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it. How did you tell someone they had a half sibling they’d never known about? He had waited for Sam to wake up, and the hunter had even left his room without being asked, dragged, or threatened.

There was a movie playing in the background, but Sam didn’t know what movie it was. He was lying on the couch staring at his eyelids. He did that a lot, but he never saw what he was looking for. No surprises there. Sam opened his eyes and looked over at Gabriel. “Yeah?”

Gabriel walked over to the couch and sat down on the arm by Sam’s head. Sam’s legs were taking up all the rest of the couch. “When you and Dean were kids, John got involved with a woman when he was on a hunt and had another kid.”

Sam frowned. “Really?”

“He’s a good kid, name’s Adam. He graduated early, top of his class, and now he’s attending medical school. No one told him and his mother that John Winchester died. You guys don’t exactly have a list of people to notify in case of emergency. I gave him my condolences and mentioned he’s not the only child of John Winchester. He’s willing to meet you and I think you should.”

Sam agreed, so Gabriel flew him directly to the front porch of the Milligan household. “He’s expecting us,” Gabriel whispered when Sam tensed.

The front door flew open. “You must be Sam!” the teenager exclaimed. “I’m Adam!”

Sam gave the kid a weak smile and held out a hand. “Yes, I am Sam. It’s nice to meet you, Adam.”

Adam shook the proffered hand. “Did Gabriel mention I have a ghoul problem?”

“He did,” Sam replied. “I was curious about how you knew it was a ghoul.”

“Dad met Mom when she stitched him up after he’d hunted a ghoul, so I’ve done research on them. It seems highly coincidental that there would be more, but Dad only killed one and for how obvious they were being, I’d guess there were more. In some of my research, I found something about how they'll seek revenge if a family member is killed, which could explain why they’re here. I think they’ve been following me and Mom. She didn’t come home from work last night.”

Sam nodded. “May we come inside?”

“Of course.” Adam led the way towards the living room.

Sam hung back, whispering to Gabriel. “You’re sure he’s not a ghoul?”

Adam pretended not to hear and Gabriel answered, “Of course he isn’t. I already checked.”

“And the ghoul story?”

“For what it’s worth, I think there’s two. But I’m not doing your hunting for you. I think it’ll be a good bonding experience between you and your brother.” Gabriel sped up, forcing Sam to move faster.

Adam sat in the chair again and Gabriel crowded Sam on the couch. “I’ve done some research for the area. There’s been reports of frequent grave robbing.”

“That would fit with the idea that it’s ghouls,” Sam agreed. “They’re scavengers, but they can shapeshift to look like anything they’ve eaten, whether it’s bodies of the deceased or people they’ve attacked even if they don’t kill.”

“If they’re scavengers, why would they come after me and Mom?” Adam asked.

“Most likely for the reason you suspected: Revenge.They could also intend to use you to get to John. He’s dead, but they don’t know that.”

“How do you think we should hunt them?” Adam asked.

Sam looked at Adam and what he was was a kid who wanted to make everyone happy. Curses on John Winchester for introducing him to this life. Curses on him for ever having children. He wanted to tell his brother that he would handle it, but that would be unfair for other reasons. The kid wanted to help. So he’d have to let him and keep him safe. “They have to be killed by decapitation.” He smiled sadly. “Dean, my older brother, his favorite way was bashing in their brains. But decapitation is better, more thorough. But first we have to find them.”

Adam nodded and looked thoughtful. “If they’re after me, you could use me as bait!”

“No!” Sam howled, almost beyond thought. Gabriel gripped his knee sharply to keep him from bolting. “No,” Sam repeated gentler. “I’m sure you’re capable, but we never use someone as bait. We need weapons first. Machetes are good for ghouls.”

The teen considered, then nodded. “There’s one upstairs you can use. I’ve got a good long knife that I’ve had lots of practice with, can I use that?”

“That’s a good idea,” Sam agreed. A machete would have been better, but a weapon he already knew how to use would be safer. And hopefully Sam could kill it without Adam needing to get involved.

“Okay! I’ll go get them.” Adam jumped up and purposefully walked towards the next room.

The hairs on the back of Sam’s neck bristled. “Go with him,” Sam whispered. Something was wrong here. “If anything happens to him, I will stab you.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at Sam. He couldn’t feel any changes but chose not to question Sam. He got up. Raphael turned to look at him, but he didn’t say anything, just shrugged and continued towards the stairs. “What happened? Raphael asked when they were out of earshot of Sam.

“I’m not sure,” Gabriel replied. “He’s good at identifying things out of place, but I don’t feel anything, so I don’t know. It could be an overprotective big brother thing.” He shrugged. “A long knife? Raph, you wouldn’t happen to be talking about your blade would you?”

“Swords are good for decapitation. But I’d rather not have to explain that to Sam. Then again, fencing is a thing.”

“You can hardly decapitate a person with a foil.”

When Adam and Gabriel were out of sight, Sam stood. Gabriel had been certain nothing was out of the usual for this house. So why did it feel like he was being watched?

Sam closed his eyes. The wall Azazel had put up had been pretty sturdy. But he was an archangel and some preternatural senses would be pretty useful right about now. This was about keeping family safe, and when it comes to family, anything goes.

The smell hit Sam like a bag of bricks. It was death and decay, rotting corpses and the things that feast on them.

He let the barrier fall back into place and resisted the urge to run. He was being watched the only thing that runs is prey. Adam and Gabriel were elsewhere, so they were safe, because it was watching him.

Sam cast his gaze around the room. It wasn't an invisible creature and if it was in the house properly, then Gabriel would have noticed. As he looked, he found a grate in the wall. He didn’t have a weapon, not a physical one, but he couldn’t let it find another way out or give it time to kill Adam. He would not lose another one. Not today.

Focus, Sam. Pushing the grate telepathically was easy. He remembered what it felt like when he’d shoved the wardrobe. Archangels didn’t need their grace to retain their photographic memories, he just had to know what he was looking for. Finding the ghoul was even easier. Sam would have been a psychic in any life, but demon blood did weird things to natural abilities, and acted weirder still when angelic predispositions existed.

The ghoul jumped through the hole in the wall where the grate had been. It must have recognized the danger it was in. Sam had been born a dangerous predator. Everything that happened since then didn’t make that any less true.

Sam gave a mental push. He couldn't let the ghoul touch him. Gabriel would recognize any imposter, but Adam wouldn’t. The pictures on the wall shook, but the ghoul kept coming. There was a rush in Sam’s ears and he was certain that was blood dripping from his nose. He lost his balance when the floor vibrated in unison with what almost sounded like voices too loud and far away from him to make out any words.

The ghoul was right there and unaffected, so Sam reached out with his hands- those were his hands, right?- and shoved. It wasn’t so much a physical blow as a mental zap that vaporized the creature.

Sam was already half on the floor and he decided that it would be just as comfortable as a bed.

Gabriel and Raphael were upstairs when they heard the crash from the metal grate. They materialized their blades and hurried back downstairs in time to feel the house shaking, and then to see Sam smite the ghoul. “I thought you said he could handle a hunt,” Raphael said.

‘If I had thought this could happen, I would have recommended a coffee shop. Why was the ghoul that probably ate your mother in the wall?”

“I had no idea it was there.”

They stepped into the living room. Sam was lying on the floor, unmoving except for the rise and fall of his chest and the blood dripping from his nose. Gabriel looked to run forward, but Raphael stopped him. “Let me.”

Raphael approached Sam slowly. The hunter was human, but he was also Lucifer and Lucifer had never been someone you’d want to startle when he was sleeping and/or injured. This human had also been raised not to allow anyone to catch him unawares.

The archangel of healing knelt by Sam’s head and touched his forehead. The bloody nose was easy to stop. He wouldn’t know about the possible lingering headache until Sam told him about it. If he told him about it.

“Tell me what really happened.” Raphael looked over his shoulder at Gabriel. ‘I expect him to give me a modified explanation, but I can’t really make sure he’s alright if I don’t know the details.”

“He was fed demon blood by Azazel as an infant. The powers affected by that had started acting up, but when Azazel was killed, they had seemed to be gone. Michael put his and Lucifer’s grace into the amulet he’s wearing. I think he may have found a way to use both powers to find and smite the ghoul. When he used the psychic powers before, they have resulted in his nose bleeding. The demon plan was for Sam to be the boy king of Hell, but no one seems to know Sam very well at all. He never would have gone for it.”

Raphael nodded. “He may have tried to act as a conduit for the grace in the amulet. He’s lucky he didn’t fry himself, but I think he’ll be fine. We’ll know more when he wakes up.”

The archangels sat on the sofa while they waited for Sam to wake up. He slept soundly and without being plagued by nightmares. “We should wake him,” Gabriel suggested after the sky had turned dark. “He really shouldn’t sleep on the floor.”

“Let him sleep,” his brother replied. “From what you said yesterday, he needs some sleep without worrying about anything.”

“But, Raph, what if something’s wrong?”

Sam drifted into awareness when there were voices in the background of the pain in his head. Gabriel’s voice he recognized with certainty; the second voice was fuzzier. He thought he heard Gabriel say, “Raphael,” but that didn’t make sense. Raph was still in heaven so they were estranged from him. Right? Except then he said it again, so Sam sat up, looking for his other other little brother. He only saw Gabriel and Adam. Who had Gabriel been talking to? Maybe if he could see…

“Whoa! Sam, don’t do that!” Adam moved towards him. “You almost fried your brain once today, you don’t need to do it again.”

Sam could feel the wall between him and the demon powers. If he could just push it, then maybe he could see Raphael.

Gabriel crouched next to Sam. “Sam, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself and I need to you to not, okay?”

Sam blinked. He could almost see the wall as a physical structure and if he could just… A cold hand clasped his arm, causing the wall to disappear.

“Luci,” Adam said. “Regardless of why you think frying your brain is an acceptable risk, it’s not. I did not spend the last two decades down here just so Micahel can find me in negligence because you fried yourself.”

“Raph?” Sam blinked past the pounding in his head as he tried to see what he knew was there.

“Yes, it’s me,” Adam, Raphael, whispered. He leaned forward so he could lie down next to Sam. “Does your head hurt?”

Sam shrugged, but Raphael recognized the body language. It was Lucifer’s, “Something might hurt but I don’t care to talk about it because I’d rather suffer in silence,” shrug. Gabriel laid down on Sam’s other side and Raphael put a finger on Sam’s forehead.

Sam didn’t try to resist Raphael. It was nice having Raphael on one side and Gabriel on the other. I was almost like old times in their nest, except for the most important thing. They were missing their brother. Sam still felt like half of him was missing. Not the grace that hung safely around his neck.

“Was that necessary?” Gabriel asked after Raphael had knocked Sam out.

“I couldn’t figure out why his head hurts if he kept going on about missing Michael. You would think they were supposed to be one person, the way they’re so codependent.”

“Do you think Father intended to make two? Mica and Luci always talked about it as though they’d been created in the same instant.”

“Only Father knows what Father wanted, and I guess that if he wanted us to know, then he would have told us himself.”

“I think he did, though. His last words to us were to love humanity more than we love him. The apocalypse would destroy them and I don’t think he’d want us to destroy his favorite creation. Especially not in hopes of getting him to come home. He would just be angry. As angry or angrier than when Luci told him they were destroying the planet.”

“They are! But I get your point.” The two awake archangels laid in silence listening to the third sleep. Michael would come back to them, just they needed to have patience.

Chuck studied the pages he’d just written. Adam, who wasn’t supposed to make an appearance until after he had died, had already shown up. Why had the Trickster come back? He wasn’t supposed to make another appearance until he tried to get the boys to say yes! He knew where the road with Lilith was supposed to go, Sam was supposed to get addicted to demon blood so he could both kill Lilith and house an archangel. Except he already was.

It wasn’t what was supposed to happen, but Chuck decided that if you liked stories with redemption, this wasn’t too bad. Except he knew that Dean, Sam, and Adam weren’t supposed to be actual archangels, they were just supposed to be vessels. He’d tried to fix it! Ruby was supposed to kill some demons for Sam while Gabriel was busy keeping Dean alive, but nothing had changed! Gabriel killed the Wrong Demon and saved the Wrong Winchester and everything had only gotten more off track from there! The boys weren't supposed to know that Gabriel was an archangel, and now Sam knew Adam was also an archangel. He and Dean had not been supposed to ever meet the real Adam.

He was sure he could fix this though. Chuck was not going to subject his readers to Sam Winchester trying to join his brother in Hell. Lucifer really should have known better, but Chuck had left that part out of the novels because it wouldn’t make any sense for there to be two copies of three of the four archangels running around. He could just say that their memories were in that damn amulet, along with their powers.

But first he had to stop Sam from the dark track he was spiraling down. It was hardly like his ill-thought out suicide attempt would be successful, but still, none of his children should have to suffer like that. Raphael and Gabriel would find him and fix it, probably, but there had to be a way to stop him from reaching that mindset in the first place, and since the introduction of Raphael had not fixed it, which it should have. So, what could he do? Sam would be fine as soon as Michael came back, but Dean had to be in hell for four months and at the time of Dean’s birthday, it hadn’t even been one. So what could he- The thought came to him in a sudden moment of clarity, as if it’d been there all along and he simply hadn’t been looking at it from the right angle. Stasis. If Sam and Lucifer were in stasis until Dean walked through that door, then he would be fine!

Turning back to his computer with a satisfied smile, he began to write once more. And as he wrote, so it happened.

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