#raph in his terrarium thing on the other side of the couch: i sense a disturbance in the force... (goes back to sleep)

[boxfullaturtles]

Rest for the Weary

A "Made to Suffer and to Love" Vignette

Donatello isn't doing great since his double mutation. He doesn't feel like himself. He feels like a monster.

This was originally conceptualized as a comic. But I don't really have the time to commit to that, and I really wanted to tell this little story. So you get a mini fic instead.

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His family is laughing.

The sight fills him with a warm relief, the familiarity soothing to the tiny lump of worry that has been sitting in his stomach. He doesn’t know why he was worried, he only knows he was and it was about them. He worries about them so much.

But Leo has an arm draped over Mikey’s shoulders and is leaning over him with a broad grin on his face. And Mikey is battering playfully at him with loud sunshine laughter, shoving playfully at his older brother. Raph is looming over both of them with a grin that says he’s two seconds away from scooping them up into his arms. Splinter is shaking his head with a fond smile and April is encouraging their shenanigans with taunts and laughter. They are washed in sunlight, cast in a warm and golden glow, the perfect picture of family.

Donnie grins as he makes to follow them. He moves to step out of the shade and into the sun, only to be pulled up short by a sharp tug on his arm.

He frowns, turning to see what’s stopped him. There’s a thick, steel manacle clamped around his wrist, the heavy chain attached to it stretched taut. Donnie follows the chain back to a sturdy wall where the chain is mounted and his breath catches.

Why is he chained up?

He turns back to face his family, to reach out to them, but there’s another pull and another rattle of metal. His other arm is in chains now. Donnie thrashes, yanking on the chains, skin chafing beneath the cuffs. There are chains on his ankles and then around his neck and he’s trapped, shackled to a wall and his family is only a few feet away in the sun!

There are heavy black bars between him and his still laughing family.

He’s in a cage.

He’s in a cage and his family is right there!

Donnie calls out to them, but his voice comes out in roar, an animal shriek. There are no words, only noise. He tries again, tries to shout his brothers’ names, but again comes the unearthly, horrifying cries. He sounds like a wild beast, a stranger. No one turns to look at him.

His eyes burn and he heaves against the cuffs, straining his shoulders, pulling with all his might.

His family is farther away. They’re leaving! They’re walking away and they’re leaving him behind! He screams and cries, he begs for them to turn and see him. But they keep walking away into the sunlight and leave Donnie alone in the shadows of the cage. He screams in despair, collapsing to his knees on a floor covered in straw. Tears streak down his face as he howls and sobs. He’s in a cage, chained up like some animal, stripped of everything he owns and left to rot here.

He’s alone. He’s been abandoned. He’s a monster. He can’t blame them. He hurts so much. He...he…

Donatello jerks awake with a mournful wail.

The room is dark and big and his cry echos, bouncing back to him without an answer.

He sniffs at the air, shuffling across his nest and twisting his head around to try and see in the dark. There are the lingering scents of his family, of Raph’s terrarium and of the snapper himself. Mikey’s scent is the most recent and there’s a pile of blankets and a pillow on the couch. But there’s no one there now. Donnie is alone.

The nest of blankets and soft things feels cold and lonely. Donnie presses his big, awkward hands over his snout to try and keep the desperate whine of loneliness and terror inside. He’s shivering, each breath he takes comes in as a shuddering gasp, and despite his size, he’s feeling so very, very small. He’s so caught up in the dregs of the nightmare and awful feelings that he doesn’t notice the light patter of feet on the concrete floor.

“Dee?”

Mikey’s voice startles him and he looks up quickly. Mikey’s hovering a foot away, worry on his face, the light from his phone stinging Donnie’s watering eyes. Donnie swallows the lump in his throat and can’t stop himself from shooting a glance from the empty couch and back to Mikey.

“Ah, sorry, I know you don’t really like having to sleep out here so, uh, I dunno, I got kinda sad and wanted to keep you company,” Mikey shrugs with a small smile, “I just ran to the bathroom real quick, sorry if I woke you up…” He shifts, tilting his head, his expression scrunching up in concern, “...are you okay, Donnie?”

Donnie’s not sure how to articulate with his limited ability to communicate just how much it means to him that Mikey is here. He’s not sure how to explain how the nightmare feels too much like something that can still happen, how waking up alone in the dark is starting to become one of his worst fears. He doesn’t know how to say how much his brothers mean to him.

So he just shuffles over a little in his nest and lifts his arm in a silent invitation.

Mikey’s smile bursts into a megawatt sunbeam.

He tosses his phone onto the couch and dives into Donnie’s nest, squirming around until he’s situated himself snuggling against Donnie’s side. When Mikey beams up at him, Donnie makes a great show of rolling his eyes and huffing before he settles back down.

The blankets feel a lot warmer with Mikey laying next to him.

He closes his eyes and lets his breathing fall into a steady pattern. Mikey’s breathing next to him lulls him back to sleep.

And if Donnie wakes up again from another nightmare, this time he doesn’t wake up alone.