#raperecovery

[wangxianfics]

hi! I'm hoping you can help me find this particular wangxian fic. its one where wwx gets r*ped by jin zixun (i think?? or that horrible wen person) and a-yuan was his son but he doesn't acknowledge or treat a-yuan with scorn, he just lets wen qing take care of the child. last i read about it, i think lan zhan found wwx in the burial mounds while it was raining? i think he was unconscious or something. im really sorry about how vague this is, but i hope you can help me 😭

Hey Nonny I am not sure if this is the fic you are looking for but you can also check our raperecovery tag.

Title: secrets for the stars to keep

Author: UchiHime

Universe: Canon Divergence (The Untamed / MDZS)

Status: Complete

Rating: Mature: RAPE/NON CON

Lenght: Epic (37+K)

Summary: Things like this don’t happen to people like Wei Wuxian.

It happens to mediocre people; people not strong enough to defend themselves.

It doesn’t happen to cultivators. Especially not to one of the strongest cultivators of his generation.

And it doesn’t happen to men.

*There is no explicit content in this fic. Though it does contain rape/noncon, it's all off screen and only referenced. This fic contains mpreg, but it's not ABO or considered out of the norm.*

[robers69hiphop]

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#hiphopstyle #hiphopdance #hiphopparty #hiphopmemes #arts #hiphopdancers #rap #rap #raperos #raperecovery #collection #people #instagramers #instagramersjelou #robers69 https://www.instagram.com/p/B4jTM-LHAqR/?igshid=1mw47luznxaxc

[traumaanddissociation]

Often feelings of shame, powerlessness, and self-hate are bottled up with the memories, and as the memories come through, these feelings do, too. Yet healing isn't just about pain. It's about learning to love yourself. - The Courage to Heal #thecouragetoheal #couragetoheal #survivors #ellenbass #lauradavis #healing #cptsdrecovery #complexptsd #cptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsd #childsexualabuse #childsexualabuserecovery #abusesurvivor #rapesurvivor #raperecovery #healingfromabuse #loveyourself #healingtrauma #healingquotes #healingyourself #shame #selfhate #powerless #powerlessness #healingincest #emotionalpain #badmemories https://www.facebook.com/TraumaAndDissociation/photos/a.357820054319427.1073741828.357814604319972/1082505775184181/?type=3

[thisismyghost-blog]

1st time I told my fam/friends on fb about the sadistic monster who abused me and is facing agg kidnapping and 3agg rape charges

So idk how some of you will react to this but i have to risk people who will hate me or just turn away in order to gain reinforcements. I have been practically in hiding for almost a year after finally giving up on keeping a bold face at my job that I loved with a few people that I really loved due to the pain I didn’t know how to handle of being visibly and deeply scorned by a few people who I had done nothing to but be friendly and awkward to (just due to lack of social experience)I have been protected under the love of my amazing family, my best friend Sayruh, and the incredible loving man who I can’t describe rn who came into my life about five years ago and with who’s path, unfortunately, was diverged during what I’m about to tell you. This isn’t going to be college level essay ish, so bare with me. I’m bleeding and panting out of breathe in the battlefield of life at this moment but I haven’t dropped the sword and I never will. I don’t have to do this alone, as much as I’ve been alone and felt deeply affected by if people think I am worthless, stupid, ugly, a whore or make assumptions about me that hurt them or take me the wrong way.i have hidden myself to protect others and to protect myself but I see now that is utter BULLLSHHIIITTT y’all. I was in a “relationship”with what fits the pattern of a malignant narcissist, possible psychopath for 9 entire soul crushing, brain washing, body mutilating, being made to believe I was bad or crazy, turning against myself months. That’s the time it takes to grow a fully ripened human, and apparently it’s also the time to nearly break an intelligent, loving sister, mother, daughter, friend, woman almost entirely.     This creature who masquerades as an attractive, eloquent, humble, caring, selfless individual has likely been slandering me since the moment he walked into my place of work as he, behind the scenes, carefully put up walls between me and anyone who might later have compassion for the things he had in store for me. That wasn’t terribly hard due to the fact that I was already a very shy person.This Lucifer gaslighted, undermined and abused me while successfully convincing me that he was helping me become a better person and applying his version of “therapy” based on his claimed experience in mental health in another country and coming out of terrible traumas all by himself. This person took the self doubt i already had, filled it with poison, and offered it through a needle promising the antidote. This person used my compassion and love for others to convince me to let him do horrible things to me as a stress relief or way of dealing with their past trauma in order to help them, to help them not do self destructive things and be able to go out and help others in Grand ways that he constantly spoke of.I have been hiding because I have seen that human nature tends to immediately start looking for ways to blame or dehumanize people that are in horrible situations like this. I have been hiding because I could feel the seering looks of disgust, feel the betrayel from those I had admired and even looked up to that had already taken place and wished not to extend an opportunity for others. I realize now that I have been ashamed of being vulnerable to someone else’s lack of humanity and feeling as though that truly debased me or may as well if it succeeded in debasing me from human status in the eyes of most people onlooking, so why give them a chance to onlook?I have no choice now because today I was shown my choice by the assistant district attorney.  It was my hope to protect others from this monster. It was my hope because I have seen what these creatures who walk among us, looking like people, expressing emotion on their face like people, and I have seen this creature twist otherwise upstanding, moderately intelligent individuals into hating a person in order to discredit them and also back them further into a corner, convince them they are nothing, watch them suffer and feed on their tears like a twisted vampire. You think you can spot a monster? Maybe you would have better luck. I think we all think we do, how can you not believe what your mind is telling you when you look at what looks like a human being but is a monster no one warned you about, who literally takes pleasure in slowly driving you insane and takes bites out of your flesh like a wolf and yelling at you for bleeding. I am not perfect, no one is. I make mistakes, that’s human. I take the wrong path sometimes, also human. Do I need to say that in order for you not to start asking a million questions until you get to the part where your brain can let out a sigh of relief and go “ooohh I was worried this world was that horrific for a minute but clearly this bitch is an idiot or a sinner who deserved whatever she’s going on about.”?I want to stop and give credit where credit is due.I am tempted to name names but I haven’t. There are people who I worked next to everyday and only had affection for who completely turned their back on me when he was arrested. I didn’t call police, my doctor did. I hate attention, I have no vendettas.  I have to  get out of this corner letting him and his minions scare/shame me into silence and projecting their ill motives onto me. I know it makes no sense. I only know that I am sure I experienced what I imagine thousands of murdered women experienced in their final moments. I feel that he would enjoyed watching my final moments and holding them in his hands like a god. I only know that an amazing doctor who I trusted and went to for advice about how to not get murdered or even possibly salvage my life from without police help because I didn’t believe they would help me. I believed him when he told me his ex’s called police and he talked them away, I believed him when he told me that police came to my door at times when I was screaming and he talked to them while I was in the bathroom crying and convinced them everything was ok. I believed what he didn’t have to put into words but only insinuate, that everyone will call me a stupid lying whore for staying around and trying to get help would only result in being told so. I was wrong. My doctor called the police without my knowledge, everyone treated me with compassion and respect and told me I was safe now. I thought that meant other girls would be safe now. I was mistaken. I held onto the remaining shards of my life with all my strength, allowing people under his spell to treat me despicably as I fought the tears, told myself it’s my fault for not being a better person who speaks up and is more than just quiet and friendly but involved and let’s you know them and is there for you. I tried to hold my head high and ignore them or focus on the 3 friends I had left and remind myself that they could have no clue what the truth was and that they would never believe me over such a charming loveable individual. How do you tell someone that a person they admire is capable of worse things than they have ever imagined and expect them to believe you unless they are incredibly close and trusting of you?Trial is coming up. I thought I could seek back up through expert witnesses and professionals who could untangle the dark web of deadly lies, ignorance and misinformation. I thought maybe I could find others like the girl he claimed to have put in the hospital for three months.. I thought.. Maybe.. I could sleep at night one day without picturing dead girls all alone in a landfill disposed of by him and forgotten. That is only my imagination but your mind is your window to the world and it’s all you see. Instead I am told that due to the burden of proof, even after the stack of felony indictments an incredible female detective at Smyrna PD was able to procure on my behalf.. That he will most likely walk free or get less than a decade and be let loose upon the world again. If you ever get hurt, make sure it’s by a total stranger and that you see clearly what’s going on in order to be able to immediately, report it and get the hell away from them so the law can protect you.(sarcasm if u didn’t see it.)There has to be an alarm raised and debate changed. Not for me but for my niece, my cousins, our daughters and sons, every human being who is out there vulnerable to be spotted by a shark who probably dresses and speaks properly and seems like a “stand up citizen” maybe even have a position of authority, maybe even like he did, claim to be a representative of Jesus and some version of my personal Satan’s false story that he was a champion of all orphans and the disenfranchised. I have pictures of him surrounded by smiling children he claimed were in a orphanage he managed for a time in an impoverished part of the world and claimed to have been their main source of affection and mental health assistance in dealing with the loss of their parents.If you are totally mind f9(?#d after reading this, understand that I have been fighting epic battles through Hell daily via my mind and PTSD armed with love  from my son, family, Antwane. An inkling that maybe I can build some sort of bridge to the nameless victims who will never have a charge formally filed much less prosecuted, the forgotten girls buried in shallow graves because a monster feasted on their human heart and knew no one would be in their corner to save them and that society at Large would walk on their unmarked grave with no tears shed for a “whore”. Armed with the small bit of reason and understanding I’ve gained through education and love not letting me die no matter how much agony and confusion and darkness swallowed me whole I walk out of that dark corner of shame today. I still need healing, I still am learning not to be hard on myself, I still have no idea what I’m doing but I’m fighting y’all and I have gained the type of clarity I’m not sure many people ever have after a lifetime. There is no magic day to come where after you try hard enough you never incur anymore criticism and you feel good enough, but in the meantime those who are so sure of themselves are devouring the innocent, virtually wholly unchecked and every bully, every shaming comment meant to put you down and shut you up is a type of  weaponry used by those behaving inhumanely and projecting their diminished humanity onto you. Don’t let them do it. If you care how you affect other people you are top notch in my book and every shortcoming you have tell everyone to STFU about and keep going. Your inability to wow a crowd or rock a swimsuit for a magazine or even speak to a stranger or your emotional outburst and lack of attention to your house when you’re depressed.. any and everything that you feel ashamed about, you give it the middle finger for me. Your voice in your own head and how you see yourself is where it starts and YOU are who I need to join me in this fight with the odds insanely against me and the rest who fall into their snare. I need you to keep trying,I need you to fight to see for yourself what really matters and what is left because there are no superheroes or quick fixes and everytime you feel empathy for someone and want to take their pain or help, this is how. You become strong and you fight for reason, compassion, you fight the voices that degrade and throw away human beings but you start with your own.If you want to talk, text me. Might take some time but I’ll be there and I will not judge anything so if you just need to vent things you feel shame about I am a good sounding board I have discovered. I don’t have any answers for you but I am another human being who values you. Naj is doing great btw he’s facing his own bullies but he’s got an expert on his side and an amazing dad and uncle. I have an extremely bright gorgeous life ahead and I see it on the horizon. I almost said if I don’t reach it I will die trying but there are 3 amazing guys in the next room that love me, a gorgeous brilliant sister a few minutes away, my mom with her endless Love, compassion, years of memories and experience that I hope to be able to properly learn from and appreciate, this genius niece who is so much like me at her age but better and actually likes me. I could keep going. If you looked in the mirror today and thought anything besides “Damn fine bitch, world’s lucky to have me!” then go apologize please. Maybe you won’t mean it but you can get there. I may not be able to stop him. There may be Hell on Earth that I have yet to see, but the people who love us and are waiting for us to meet and love them, they are what matters now. You are what matters to me now. He used to tell me I would gain great wisdom from him and help him change the world. I did gain wisdom, I won’t give him credit for that, I dug it out of the ashes of what he left behind. If that’s possible then imagine what you can do

[lilac-lies]

22/12/2016 I finally got my survivor tattoo! I was going to write a really long somewhat poetic description for this photo, but instead I'll just say this. I am a SURVIVOR of sexual assault. I am a SURVIVOR of rape. I am a SURVIVOR of childhood molestation. My court case is not over yet, and is getting closer and closer to the 2 year mark, but I can move on now. I HEARD my abuser verbally admit what he did to me, in the courtroom. I HEARD him say OUT LOUD what he did to me. He doesn't control my life anymore. It's time for ME to be happy, and so, I'm not a victim. I am a survivor. Like the lotus flower, it's time for me to come out of the darkness and into the light, and live my life again. I will NOT be controlled.

[matthewmiskol]

This Saturday @yellowrosetattoos #snafi #raperecovery #utah #saltlakecity #slc #stillnotaskingforit (at Yellow Rose Tattoo)

[traumaanddissociation]

When You Realise You Need Boundaries “If I could mark clearly, convincingly and consistently what was good for me and also what was bad — if I could say yes and also no, as if it were the law — it would become my law. It finally had to. I understood that it wouldn’t be easy, it would be very hard; I’d need to resist the habit I had developed long ago – with conviction. I’d have to be impolite, an inconvenience, and sometimes awkward. But if I could commit, all that discomfort would add up to zap predatory threats like a Taser gun. I’d stun them. They’d bow to me. I’d let my no echo against the mountains. And better to feel bad for a moment saying no – and stop it – than to get harmed.” ― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir #boundaries #fears #goodforme #positivechange #aspenmatis #girlinthewoods #memoir #healingjourney #recoveryfromabuse #raperecovery #selfprotection #revictimization #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #interpersonalrelationships #sayingno #justsayno #hardtosayno #noteasy #healingsexualabuse #empowering #feelingstrong #changemylife #changeyourlife #abusesurvivor #rapesurvivor #protectingme #selfprotection #healing #healingchangespeople https://www.facebook.com/TraumaAndDissociation/photos/a.357820054319427.1073741828.357814604319972/1080939532007472/?type=3

[le-tters-tomy-self-blog]

To the questions in my head

If I could list the questions that haunt me...the questions that keep me awake at night, the questions that nobody knows about. How often they fill my head to the point where I can’t think straight. The amount of times all I want is silence.

Why did I go out that night?

Why did I have too much to drink?

Why did I have to meet that guy?

Why didn’t I go home earlier?

Why did I get in that taxi?

Why didn’t I fight back?

Why did I not report it?

Have I let this happen to someone else because I didn’t report it?

Is someone else going through this hell because of me?

Why didn’t I tell anyone?

Why did I live in some sort of weird denial?

Why did I almost let it destroy me?

Why did I withdraw from everyone around me?

Why didn’t I ask for help?

Why do I feel so ashamed?

Why do I think it’s my fault?

Why do I think I must be some utterly awful person for this to have happened?

Did I deserve it?

Why do I think I’m damaged goods?

Why do I hate my body?

Why does intimacy scare me?

Do they still have a power over me?

Why can’t I let it go?

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I scared to fall asleep sometimes?

Why can’t I stop thinking about it?

And then when I've finished hating myself for being stupid, weak, vulnerable, incapable of coping and losing control more questions come.......

Why me?

Why did you think it’s ok to do that to someone?

Are you evil?

Does your culture condone humiliation and violence against women?

Are women only here for your sexual pleasure?

Is it even about sex (rape isn’t about sex)?

Do you hate women?

Do you ever feel guilty about what happened?

Do you regret what you did?

Have you done the same to anyone else?

Have you irreversibly changed someone else’s life?

Why did you want to hurt me?

Why did you want to have that power over me?

Why did you think it was yours to take?

Why did you let me leave?

Why didn’t you kill me?

Maybe I’ll never have the answers to all these questions, but I believe I will ask them less often given enough time.  I refuse to let this change me in any negative way. What happened will have no power over me...this will not destroy me.  Life is beautiful and this won’t stop me living it the best way I know how.

[smallpoxstarstuff]

begin

9/22/16

Just went through the initial papers and it sucked more than I thought it would. Was interesting to read about panic attacks v. flashbacks. Identify a lot with the descriptions of flashbacks. That’s kind of shitty. If flashbacks are what I’m experiencing with sex... No cure. Just have to suck it up as much as I can without tearing my fucking skin off.

Have to jump through these hoops before they will allow me to undergo therapy. Learning coping skills. Trying to journal (obviously). Made a post on reddit before seeking specialized therapy and someone told me they would fuck me in the ass. Not sure what I was expecting. Not sure what I’m expecting with this. Worth a shot, maybe. I am so fucking tired of being like this. I feel so fucking broken. I didn’t ask for any of this.