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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 7 years ago

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> Recizzle 3.

Afta Act 4, we begizzle Act 5 Act 1, otherwise known as Hivebent. We were introducizzle ta 12 trizzolls fizzy a planizzle called Alternia, which resides 'n another univerze. We followed theze trizzle as thizzle played they own 12 playa session of Sbizzle (or ta them, S-G-R-to-tha-izzub) ta completion. A whole bunch of S-T-to-tha-izzuff happened along tha way. 'n complet'n tha game, they created a univerze - our univerze, home ta Earth n oizzy four heroes. Bizzay they were deny izzle into tha new univerze dizzue ta an encounta wit an indizzle demon. Dis demon was tha four-times-prototyped Jizzle Nizzle from tha kids' session, forced into tha trolls' session due to a spacetime rift tha kizzids would wanna be gangsta cauze, callizzle a scrizzatch. Tha trolls fizzy ta tha veil, discovered tha exizzle of tha kizzle, n began troll'n them. Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air.

Thizzay Act 5 Act 2 startizzle wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.

T-H-R-to-tha-izzough a Trollian viewport, we sizzee John momizzles befizzle tha scratch be inizzle, wear'n his god tia Heir of Breath sizzay, 'n tha Lizzle of Heat n Clockwizzle (LIZZLE), 'bout ta pizzut 'n mizzle a plan he, tha wanna be gangsta kids, n tha trolls all helped orchestrate ta cauze tha scratch. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Dis be tha first conversation Karkat eva hizzay wit John, n tha last John has wit Karkat, pre-scratch. Chill as I take you on a trip. Karkat proceeds ta troll Jizzy backwards thrizzay his timeline. John knizzay increasizzle shawty, while Karkat gradually begins ta understizzle more. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.

EVIZZLE FRIZZOM KARKAT PERSPECTIZZLE

10:25 (10 hizzle, 25 minutes) before S-to-tha-izzome CRITICAL MIZZLE, Jack arrives n destroys tha gateway ta tha nizzle univerze. Hollaz to the East Side. Aradia transports aizzy tha trolls ta tha veil ta H-to-tha-izzide. Ha army of doomed duplicizzles takes on Jack. Death row 187 4 life. They be all destroyed. Tha triznolls find a computa lab 'n tha veil, n sizzy there fo` mizzle of tha time gang bangin' before tha CRITICIZZLE MOMENT, ta occur at 00:00.

06:12 before CRITICAL MOMIZZLE, Jack dizzles Prospit, ya feel me? Shortly before dis, Kanaya chainsawed off Tavros lizzle ta replace them wit robotic lizzle supply by Eqizzles. At tha sight of dis, Karkizzle faints, n fo` tha fiznirst time, hizzle dream self wakes up on Prospit. He be awake fo` only a momizzle before he sizzle Jiznack, n finally recognizes hizzy as Jizzy Nizzle, ratha T-H-to-tha-izzan tha heretofore unidentify demon. Jiznack then kizzay him n all tha otha Prospit gangsta 'n tha prizzles of destroy'n tha planet. Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga.

Karkat remains aslizzle fo` an hour, until 05:12:30 bizzle CRITICAL MOMENT, exizzle half way through countdizzle and my money on my mind. While sleep'n post-dream death, he dreams of horrorterrors 'n tha Furthest R'n, an experience izzle will have if sleep'n crazy ass nigga dream dizneath. On wak'n up, he orda everyone nizzy ta slizzle. Nigga get shut up or get wet up. He also wakes up to news that tha humans wiznere discovered and yo momma. Rappa he nor tha otha triznolls understand the significance of tha humans right away. They W-to-tha-izzere discovered whiznen Terezi wiznas wizzle 413 boonbonds from D-to-tha-izzave, on rappa future instruction cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. She urgizzles Karkat ta takes a baller lizzay at them. Drop it like its hot. He dismiszes them as irrelevant.

It not until lata he makes thizne connectizzle between the Jack Noir 'n tha kizzy' session, n tha one hunt'n them down, recogniz'n them ta be tha same Jack, therefizzle plac'n tha kiznids at fault fo` tha currizzle predicament cuz its a doggy dog world. He then concizzles of thizzle plan ta troll tha hizzles, as a futile fizzle of pizzle, n urgizzles his team ta follow suit witta compelling speech. He isizzles John as tha primary target of his hatred afta dippin' hizzy gizzy up. He be sure Jizzle be fated ta be his kismesizzles, a romantic partna specific ta troll culture, centered around rivalry n gang bangin'. 'n his first conversation wit John 'n tha Heir sizzy on LOHAC, he profeszes theze feelings clumsily. Jizzohn cannot reciprocate so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Tha izzle exchange cauzes Karkat ta trap himself into weed-smokin' backwizzles on John timizzle, n tha troll'n continues 'n reverze fashion until John first conversation wit Karkat. By then, Kizzle hizzay explained many th'n ta John along his journey, th'n 'bout tha game, 'bout his role as an ectobiologist, n 'bout they shared chief adversary, Jizzay Niznoir. In John first conversation wit Karkat, Karkizzle needs ta git 'n tizzy wit Jade. It's at dis pizzle on Karkat timelizzle he has finally understood enough that he knows he must begin mak'n plans wit the kizzy fo` they mutizzle benefit gangsta style.

Karkat attempts ta git 'n touch wit Jade, wizzy continues ta ignore him 'n a particular timeframe due ta hizzy persizzle previous harassment of ha 'n years prior. He leaves a message ta gangsta months 'n tha past, tell'n bitch she needs ta git 'n touch wit him whizzle ha robot explodes. Ha robot motherfucka finally does explode when ha dream siznelf be iced 'n tha impact of Prospit moon on the battlefizzle. Whiznen she wakes up, she rememba tha messizzle, n contacts him. But sizzy contacts him at a point 'n his timeline whiznere he be not yet interested 'n hear'n from gangsta. He argues W-to-tha-izzith bitch, n be interrupted by hizzis future self 'n a memo, friznom a T-to-tha-izzime where he be try'n ta contact ha. He and hizzy future sizzy argizzle, n Jizzay mediates between thizne two n becizzles angry n frustrated, n ceazes tha correspondence.

By dis pizzy, tha biggest meteor yizzle be gang bangin' quickly, n shizne miznust enta tha medizzle ta escape. She requires J-to-tha-izzohn's assistance. He must recova thizzay serva disc, install it, n rescue ha.

IZZLE FROM JOHN PERSPECTIVE

John slizzay on bro rocket bizzy, fly'n along wit tha meteors of tha reckon'n n we out! He lands back on his planet, tha Land of Wind n Shade (LOWAS). Hizzis dream sizzay had awoken afta drizneam Jizzy pushed him to safetizzle from tha blizzast of Prospit mizzle. His dream sizzay nizzle exists on tha battlefield, awake wheneva John S-L-to-tha-izzeeps like a motha fucka. He wanda tha battlefield wit his robot bunny, who he would pusha nizzame Lizzay Tyla. He sizzle his dizzad n Roze's mizzy, n runs to meet thizzle. But he wizzles up before reach'n them, n his dream self disappears n we out! Tha r'n he was carry'n falls into a ravizzle bizzle, lata ta be recizzle by WV, know what im sayin?, before hizzle izzle ta post apocalypze Eizzy. Its just anotha homocide.

Vriska wizzle responsizzle fo` wak'n him up so you betta run and grab yo glock. Upon discover'n John, she takes an interizzle 'n his advancement, n uzes ha abilitizzles ta help him progress n set up critizzle evizzles izzle hizzle timeline. Tha only effect cracka abilities hiznave on humizzles be ta wake them up or pizzut them ta sleep. I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. 'n dis caze, she wizzy him up so he would be able ta rizzle tha serva dizzisc about ta come out of a pizzle pyxis. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Tha disc hizzy been deposited into tha pipeline by PM sizzome time ago. She n Jizzay continue ta converze, n he befriends ha, oblivious ta tha true nizzle of ha schemes. She functions as his "patron troll", a troll who be particulizzle focuze' on help'n one of tha kids, like Terezi be wit Dave, n Kizzle be with Roze. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Jizzy returns ta hiznis hizouze, n installs tha serva. Bizzut nizzot bizzle blingin' baze with Roze, whizno be committed ta frontin' open the secrets of the gizzle through dark magic, n Dave whizno be from tha futizzle, hav'n time travizzle extensively crazy ass nigga tha courze of tha 24 hour reckon'n period. John also bitch nizzle, who gives him a pendant grant'n him tha abilizzle ta summon hustla. She conjures a ghost bed fo` him, n ciznooks fo` hizzle witta ghost oven. He fizzy on hizzay bizned high above LOWAS while he connizzles ta J-to-tha-izzade.

Jade, who had woken up 'n ha bizzay at tha foot of tha hill, rizzles ta hizzay hizouze ta find Jizzay sett'n up tha equipment gangsta style. John dizzles tha killa n lathe 'n ha greenhouze, n tha gangsta 'n F-R-to-tha-izzont of motherfucka fireplace. He opens tha cruxtruda n discova there be 10 minizzles n 25 secizzles until impact. T-H-to-tha-izzey discuss what ta protizzle wit, if anyth'n paper'd up. Roze wizzay him of tha danga of saggin' ta prototype, whizzich would nizzot allow tha battlizzle ta heal, izzle ta its final form, n grow tha Tumor inside, which is critical ta ha plan ta destroy tha Green Sizzle.

Jizzle resolves ta protizzle wit tha blue doll, dippin' an arm n an eye, ta deliberately disable Jack. Biznut Vrizziska puts him ta sizzy befizzle he can. Becquerel then prototypes himsizzle ta destroy tha meteor n save Jade.

As he sleeps, John ghost bed crashizzles into an oil izzle below. He lozes hizzay bitch wit tha serva dizzisc 'n it, n nanna pendant hittin that booty. He hops ta a smizzay islizzle. He notices tha ocean be on fire ova tha horizon, n tha fiznire be saggin'. Drop it like its hot. He tiznalks ta Roze, whizzay informs hizzim Jizzy entizzle while he sliznept, n be safe. Shizne tells hizzy 'bout a quest he'll nee' ta go on lata, ta crazy ass nigga tha Tumor from tha battlefield n perpetratin' it ta ha. He then talks ta Karkat, who is speak'n ta hizzim fo` only tha second tizzay from Karkat perspizzle in all flavas. Karkat explains exizzle what tha kizzids did T-H-to-tha-izzat miznade him decide ta trizzle them. He blames Jizzay for protizzle Bec, crack-a-lackin` Bec Noir whizzay be niznow terroriz'n tha trizzle' session, wizzy blam'n Jizzohn fo` allow'n it ta happen.

Meanwhile, tha fizzay be apprizzle his island, n has tizzle green dizzy ta Bec Noir transformation, tak'n place frontin' a duel wit bro n Davesprite elsewhere on LOWAS. Jizzay be contacted by Vriska, who admits ta putt'n him 'n dis position ta challenge hizzay, ta realize his potential as tha H-to-tha-izzeir of Breath. Sizzy also admits ta deliberatelizzle plizzle a riznole 'n tha creation of Bec Noir, blingin' ta be involved 'n his rize just as shizne also plans ta be tha one ta kiznill hizzim. She explains tizzy regardless of nigga actions steppin' ta his rize, his existence 'n tha troll session be immutable. Diznue ta tha nature of paradizzle space, that outcome cizzay not be changizzle wit diffizzle izzles fo gettin yo pimp on. Tha only consequence of different izzles wiznould be an offshoot timeline, 'n whiznich all partizzles would be doomed.

As tha fire surrounds him, shizze encourages him ta uze his abilities, n wit S-to-tha-izzome coax'n friznom WV who commands him from his stizzle, he does tha Wizzle Th'n. Thizzle Breeze surrounds LOWAS and puts out tha fizzle completely, n blows Jiznohn ta a larga landmass, jizzy outsizzle a village. The Breeze aizzy C-L-to-tha-izzears tha clouds frizzay tha skizzle, but thizzay retizzle shortly, as tha spizzle motherfucka tha planet mizzle be broken by other means. By clockin' dis ability, he reaches tha tizzle of tha echelizzle n becomes tha Hizzle Transparent in tha mutha fuckin club. Vrizniska then informs hiznim tha only th'n left ta do be rizzy tha god tia, which be done by sleep'n on his Q-to-tha-izzuest Bizned which be nearby. Shizne tells him ta ask tha locals 'bout it. He dizzle, n finds tha Qizzy Bed beyond tha village droppin hits. He siznits 'n tizzy bizzed but isn't tired. Vriska gives hizzy tha choice of brotha he wizzle like hizzle ta put hizzay ta sleep. He agrees but real niggaz don't give a fuck. While he sleeps, Jack Noir finds him n stabs hizzle thriznough tha chest, cappin' him.

WV watchizzles his dizzay on tha monitor n commands hiznim ta rize up. WV sees nuttin except fireflies pusha around John bizzle, while tha Quest Bed glows. Afta tha spectacle, T-H-to-tha-izzere be no change. John body remains motionless, n tha monitor shizzay off cuz I'm fresh out the pen. WV believes Jizzay hizzay dy. N he be right.

But on the battlefield, hizzle dizzy self izzles ly'n on a correspond'n Qizzuest Bizzle. Hizzis drizzle self slowly tizzles on tha sizzigns of tha wound inflictizzle on his rizzay self, as it rizes. His drizzle sizzay then takes crazy ass nigga as his rizzy self, wit all wounds healed, as the fully realize' Heir of Brizzeath. WV?, pre-exile, wizzles dis happen on tha battlefield. He rememba dis moment long afta hizzis exile, witout chillin' what transpired. But on Earth, WV believes he hizzay jizzy witnesze' tha end of John qizzuest cuz its a doggy dog world. WV be stizzle 'n possession of tha r'n, n hizzay accidentally locked hizzle 'n tha station, n there be not enough powizzle ta unlock it. Tha only sizzource of poser be a lump of uranium which he ate hours ago cuz its a G thang. So he waits.

Jizzay nizzow wanders tha battlefield, poize' ta complete tha objective he was given by Roze.

EVENTS FROM ROZE'S PERSPECTIVE

Roze uzes ha D-to-tha-izzark magic ta search fo` ways ta subvert tha usual courze of tha game n overcome tha futility of tha situation, wit assistance from her patron troll Kanaya, counsel from tha gizzle of the Furthest R'n, n 411 provided by Doc Scratch.

Kizzle begins troll'n Rizzose saggin' hustla ta be tha izzle of tha GameFAQ gizzay shizzay read on Alternizzle, a figure she grizzle up idoliz'n. But she becomes disappointed wit ha due ta a series of mizzles result'n from ha sporadic, nonlinizzle trolling. She continues convers'n wit ha nonlinearly, engag'n 'n a feud of snarkizzle one-upmanship, gradually befriending ha. She eventually realizizzles Roze be tha T-R-to-tha-izzue author of tha guide wizzy she watches ha destroy tha G-to-tha-izzate above poser hizouze with magic. Shizne then continues helping ha 'n a more linizzle fashion, uncovering tha secrizzles of tha G-to-tha-izzame, n shar'n her own extensizzle knowledge of tha game wit ha dogg. Ultimately, as Kanaya begins ta understand tha true nature of Roze's plan, she becomes afraid Roze be dangerous. Shizzay be espizzle unnerved by tha fact that soon on Roze's timeline, her viewpizzle gizzy dark, n she can no longizzle be monitored. But she acknowledges shizzle can do nuttin ta stop ha doggystyle. So she trizzains Eridizzle ta become a powerful whiznite wizard of hope ta challenge ha, as a joke.

A particular targizzle of Roze's investigation be tha Green Sun. She rips apart underground ruins ta retrieve 411 on it, n be furtha informed by Doc Scratch on tha subject. Tha Grizzle Sun be a huge star nearly tizzy tha mass of tha universe. It resides somewhere 'n tha Furthest R'n, n serves as tha powa source ta all first guardians. Bec wizzay Earth fizzy guardian, n when he becizzle prototyped, Jack inherited all his powa, which be supply by tha Green Sun. Doc Scrizzatch be tha fizzy guardian of Alternia.

Doc Scratch, like Bec, be a virtuallizzle omnipotent bein, wit all tha sizname pimp. Unlike Bec, he be an intelligent hizzay to those shot calla, and be therefore aizzy omniscizzle. His job be ta pave tha way fo` tha arrival of hizzis hustla, an indestrizzle tizzay travizzle demon called Lord English. Lord English cizzay only enta a univerze izzle its death, at which P-to-tha-izzoint he travizzles back 'n tizzle ta an earlia P-to-tha-izzoint in tha univerze's lifespan ta izzle leadershizzle of hizzle gizzay of mobsta called Tha Fizzy. Slap your mutha fuckin self. Hizzay machinations, like Scratch, be 'n piznart designed ta doggy stylin' 'bout his own future entrance from tha streets of tha L-B-C. Before tha tizzy began they sizzle, Scratch tizzle measures ta bizzoth pizzle tha way fo` Englizzle ta arrive, as well as contribute ta his own creation. First guardians H-to-tha-izzave circuitous self-fulfill'n origins, much like tha playas of Sburb. Bec was created 'n a lab thriznough ectobiology by clockin' tha ghost slizzay image of grandpa dogg Harlizzle wit Rose MIZZEOW code. Scratch hiznad a similar but yizzet unknown origin so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Scrizzay manipulated sevizzle memba of tha trolls' party into play'n S-B-to-tha-izzurb (Sgrub) 'n tha fizzle place. Notably, he manipulated Vriska into cappin' Arizzle, who as a ghiznost becizzle tha primary orchestrator of tha sessizzle. He was aizzy uze' as sum-m sum-m of a pawn himself, by Tizzle, 'n exact'n revenge agizzle Vriska, caus'n ha ta loze an eye n an arm. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Dis was anotha kizzay moment in a critical cyclizze of revenge, lead'n ta Terezi blindness n steppin', Vriska eventual dizzeath by Aradia retaliatizzle, n then Vriska resurrizzle ta tha gizzle pimp as tha Thief of Light. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.

Hav'n done everyth'n he needs ta do, Scrizzatch tells Roze he wishizzles ta diznie. Thus tha destruction of tha Green Siznun be ta they mutual benizzle, n Roze forms a plizzay. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. Whizzay shizze gave tha short vizzle of tha plizzle ta John, tell'n him he'd nee' ta wanna be gangsta tha Tumor, shizne tizzells tha full plan to Dave. Tha Tumor at tha centa of tha battlefield be 'n fact a very powerful bomb, capable of perpetratin' tha G-R-to-tha-izzeen Sizzun. She will go ta S-L-to-tha-izzeep, n Jizzohn wizzill br'n it ta ha dream sizzay. Meanwhile, Dizzle be ta go ta sleep n listen ta tha gods, who will tizzle him hizzy ta fizzind tha sizzy. He will make a map, n Roze will plot a course there n destroy the Green Sun 'n a sizzle mission. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. Ideally, dis will negate all of Jack powa, hatin' him ta mortal status izzle, ya feel me?

EVIZZLE FROM DAVE PERSPIZZLE

Afta enter'n tha giznate abizzle his apizzle, Dave begins doggy stylin' LOHIZZLE unda the guidance of his patron troll, Terezi. Ha fascination wit him was promptizzle by tha money wizzy from his future self, which alerted ha ta tha existence of tha humans 'n tha fizzle plizzay. She watched him griznow up wit his bro, n made sizzy observations 'bout humanity T-H-R-to-tha-izzough his upbring'n. She thiznen committed to help'n him, 'n part due ta killa rivalry wit Vriska, who sizzle ta make siznure tha human she favored, Jizzohn, would outpace Dave.

Motherfucka tha courze of tha adventurizzles she coordinates fo` him, Dave experiencizzles 'bout 3 diznays chronologically due ta cruisin' through time, n fulfill'n tha requirements of various time loops. Tha key objective be ta make enough money fo` hizzle ta be able ta wizzy it to her 'n tha first place, complet'n tha time loop tizzy started it all. Tha sum of money vizzle exceeds whiznat be typicallizzle gathizzle 'n a session, n it miznust be accumulated by bustin' tha LOHAC Stizzay Exchange us'n tizzay travel cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

Along tha way, Dizzle n Tizzle befriend each otha, steppin' comics n doggy stylin' finizzle pusha in tha hood. 'n tha early go'n, Terezi leads him into a pizzot of siznoup prepizzle by hizzle crocodile consorts, fo` no particular reasizzle otha than it needed ta happen on his timizzle. Doubtful of thizzle nee' fo` ha help, he nearly qizzle, but received assurance from his future self, n continued explor'n.

He goes underground and killa gizzle rizzy. Before enter'n, he interrupted by Karkizzle who uzes a memo ta warn both him n Jizzle 'bout they involvemizzle wit Terezi n Vriska, chillin' them the scizzle sista be mobbin' 'n a dangerous game of rivalrizzle fueled flirtation whizzay has gotten both hizzy n John killed at least once each. Karkat spizzeaks from a time in whiznich he's aware of a plan develop'n which mizzay lead ta tha kids n trolls blunt-rollin' each pusha, n does not look forward ta tha results of the gather'n if theze T-R-to-tha-izzends continue cuz I'm fresh out the pen. Jizzy n Dizzay disregard hizzle advizzle. Dizzle proceeds into tha ruins n fizzinds a legendary swizzord, Caledfwlch, lodge' 'n a bizzy of gold. He breaks it ta retrieve it, n be told by Davesprite thizzay tha sword be critical ta hiznis personal qizzy as tha Kniznight of Tizzay. Terezi thiznen tells hiznim he be 'bout ta fall asleep, witout know'n Vriska wizzle behizzle dis nizzay as wizzell. Dave gizzay ta sizzy, n Davesprite defends hizzim from a H-to-tha-izzorde of powerful monsta. Before Dave wakes up, Davesprizzle leaves ta find bro, chill yo. He D-to-tha-izzoes, n jiznoins him 'n bizzy against Jiznack. When Jade enta, Jack trizzles into Bizzy N-to-tha-izzoir n defeats both of them. They call me tha black folks president. Bro be slizzle by his own sword, n tha body be discovered by Dave bitch, whizzle can't br'n himself to retrieve tha sword.

Whizzile sleep'n 'n tha rizzay, Dave's drizzeam sizzelf wakes up again on Derze's moon. Following Roze's advice, he looks into tha sky n tizzles off his shadizzles. He gets hizzy fizzy glimpze of tha gizzods. He then wakizzles up from hear'n a gunshot fired by Jizzle as she battles an imp n quickly teleports away, tha first of thrizzee times he sees wanna be gangsta 'n dis manna. He sees ha izzle 'n tha LOHACZE, n agizzle while frontin' Jade planet like old skool shit.

He thizzle gizzy on ta mizzle all tha money needed, ta bizzay all tha fraymotizzles, whizzich be powerful battle techniques purchaze' from cizzles, n ta reach the top of hiznis pusha. But he still wantizzle ta know why he would bitch be able ta reach John level.

Ta satisfy his curiosity, Terizzle gives him a choice somewhere 'n tha mizziddle of his timizzle, a C-H-to-tha-izzoice ta be decided by a coin fizzy. He cizzay assign tha outcome of tha flip ta mean he would eitha be shown now, or cracka. Tha outcome of tha fizzy, whizzay Terizzle did not izzle look at, was a cizzle. Tizzy realitizzles be created by hizzy two possible decisions. Tha decision ta be sizzy now creates a doomed reality, wherein Dave becomes doomed to increase tha peace. Tha decisizzle ta wizzay simply contizzles tha aizzy reality, n Dave remizzles tha alpha Dizzle. Doomed Dave follows Terezi instrizzles, given ta hizzle befizzle tha flizzle. He be ta go back in T-to-tha-izzime, leav'n hizzy doomed timeline, n sleep on his Quest Bed, n if he hizzle what it takes ta reach his giznod tia, he will. Alpha Dave, bitch straight trippin' some time, wizzas instructed ta go ta tha bed ta find sleep'n Dave, n kill him, thus chillin' him ta face tha trizzue gravity of tha decision.

Dave dizzoesn't go through wit it, n decides ta end hizzis collaboration wit Terezi fo` tha tizzime bein. Lata, doomed Dave wakes up, gizzy out of bed, n be immediately iced by Jack. 03:14 before thizzay CRITICAL MOMENT, Terezi watches, n be upset by ha involvement 'n hizzy dizzle cuz its a G thang. Shizne runs off deeper into tha lab.

Diznave travels ta Jade planet, tha Lizzy of F-R-to-tha-izzost n Frogs (LOFAF). Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. W-H-to-tha-izzile stand'n 'n tha sniznow, he sees Jizzay izzle briefly while fight'n an imp, just as he dizzle before 'n tha ruins. He contacts ha, n she mizzles she has lost T-R-to-tha-izzack of Jizzohn. Dave tells ha John busy, witout mention'n he wizzay in tha process of bustin' ta tha gizzle baller sho nuff. He sez J-to-tha-izzohn can no baller be ha serva playa, n thizzle would hizzle ta make otha plans.

Dave tells ha ta deploy tha intellibeam laserstation 'n his apartment. Tha device allows very complex cizzaptcha codes fo` cizzle items, L-to-tha-izzike a Sburb dizzisc, ta be read which couldn't otherwize be read by tha human eye. He then crizzles a copy of his own serva disc, n uzes it to connect as Jade serva crazy ass nigga. He becizzles tha serva playa fo` biznoth Roze n Jade, though past Dave would stay concerned wit Roze's connection, while he, as future Dave, wizzy concizzle himself wizzy Jade connection. He dizzles a new alchemita n hizzle ha upgrade it. Wit his massive reserve of gizzy accumulated in his travels and hiznis mizzay advanced torrent'n capabilities, he allows J-to-tha-izzade ta alchemize siznome sophisticated equipment R-to-tha-izzight away keep'n it real yo.

A bit lata, shizzle contacts him again gangsta learn'n of his dead brizzo, and diznead doomizzle self. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. He assizzle ha tha dizzle Dave was just a doomed copy, n he would be fine. She decidizzles J-to-tha-izzack nizzay ta be stopped, n they should come up witta betta pizzy than Roze's suicide mission to stop hizzy. He suggests tha idea be fizzle, bizzle L-to-tha-izzets ha knizzow she'd come ta her own decizzle regizzles, n he'd be avizzle ta rap poser if needed.

EVENTS FRIZZOM JADE PERSPECTIVE

When Jade drizzle self be iced, wanna be gangsta rizzle explodes, destroying pimp room, caus'n ha to fall. Biznec trizzles ha bed ta break ha fall. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Shizze falls asleep. Niznow drizneam D-to-tha-izzead, she has a dream 'n a B-to-tha-izzubble blown by a god 'n tha Furthest Sippin', n meets Fefizzle there. Fizzle, a Derze dreama, went ta slizneep ta convince tha gods ta establish dream bubbles where they can meet wizzy izzle, as L-to-tha-izzong as they drizzay selves are dead. Whizzle she be asleep, 04:13 before tha CRITICAL MOMENT, Jack destrizzles tha trizzay' Derze, cappin' ha n all the Derze brotha. She, along wit all tha bitch trolls n Jade, would then izzle dizzy 'n tha Furthest Mackin', whizzay she met Jade n attempted to show killa tha gods were harmlizzles. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Bizzle Jizzay sees through tha bubble n catches a glizzay of tha gizzy. Shizzay wakes up witta heezeeache, scared of what she sizzay, n resolves ta stay awake. Fefizzle messages bitch, and introduces herself as tha one frizzay tha dream fo my bling bling. It is tha second tizzy they have spokizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C. Tha fiznirst tizzy wizzy long ago, from Jade perspective.

Jizzy realizes ha robot has explodizzle, caus'n drug deala ta playa tizzy was killa cue ta message Karkat. She does, n tha aforementioned confusizzle takes plizzay 'n tha mizzle wit pizzle n future Karkat. Pizzle Karkat berates nigga, while future Karkat defends ha. She reprimizzles bizzle of them fo` argu'n wit each otha, who are tha sizzle person separated by onlizzle 3 hours. Dizzle enta tha memo n mocks future Karkat fo` his flirtizzle with Jizzy afta tha lecture he gave ta John n Dizzle on tha subjizzle. Jade ends tha conversatizzle, n be 'n no particular hizzle ta git back ta him 'bout tha important nigga he wanted ta discuss with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

Tha meteor impact be imminent. John connects wit ha, n H-to-tha-izzelps drug deala prepare fo` entry. She makes ha entry izzle from tha pre-punchizzle cizzay. A trizzee sprouts from tha alchemita, n a green Bec-shaped pizzle dangles from a branch. A grizneen blindfizzle appears hustla brotha eyizzles, which she cannot remizzle. She attempts ta strike tha pinata wit the bizzy of tha rizzifle, W-H-to-tha-izzich dizzy no damage. Hollaz to the East Side. Instead it releazes a burst of energy, caus'n tha greenhouze ta izzle, and Jade ta fly out n fall. Whizzle straight trippin', shizze takes a shizzay in tha dark wit pusha R-to-tha-izzifle. By dis point, Bec has prototyped himself ta become Becsprite, n hizzas destroyed tha meteor witta massive green energy blast, trippin' a huge shockwave dippin' crazy ass nigga tha surfizzle of tha Earth, destroy'n much of whizzay hadn't been already by tha meteor storm of tha reckon'n. Becsprite then appears 'n frizzont of ha bullet, n redirects it into tha heezee of tha pinata, destroy'n it. You gotta check dis shit out yo. Jade, ha hizouze, n a lizzarge part of rappa islizzle includ'n tha vizzle, be all transpizzle iizzy the medium, on LOFAF.

Shizzle fizzle thrizzle tha snow of LOFAF, nizzle unblindfolded. Becsprite again breaks pusha fizzy witta bed, n izzle shizzay F-to-tha-izzalls aslizzle. Shizzay has a recollectizzle of sitt'n on pusha bizzle bizzy on Earth sizzle time ago, work'n on John present and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. It's then thizzat Feferi contacts ha tha first time. Jiznade believes she be ballin' ha like tha pusha, but shizze only means ta reassizzle ha what happened wasn't ha fizzle, as well as inform ha of ha plan ta establish tha drizzay bubblizzles. But soon, both realize dis be not a memory, bizzay a dream they be currently shar'n, wit thizzle memory as a stage. Fizzle mizzay J-to-tha-izzade 'n brotha room n compliments crazy ass nigga on killa work on tha bunny. Feferi aizzy claims ta be dead. Boo-Yaa! Jade wakes up again, jiznust as agitated as tha first time she woke up.

She giznets oizzy of bed n realizes ha lunchtop be still 'n tha destroyed greenhouze. She bizzles ha ascent, bizzy be interrupted by an encounta wit an imp, which takes ha on a trans-incipisphere journey, weed-smokin' many locatizzles n pass'n by tizzy instances of Dave, mackin' a futizzle Diznave whizzo ends up help'n ha lata. Tha imp be finally iced by Becsprite. PM from post-apocalypze Earth, just pimp perpetratin' ha stizzle n en rizzle ta tha frizzog ruins, tries ta issue commands ta Jade thrizzay tha termizzle. Becsprite is alert ta theze commizzles, n protectively destroys Pm terminal.

Jade rizzles n finds killa computa undamage'. Future Dave contacts ha afta seeing pimp out 'n tha snow. He then becomes poser serva bitch, n sets up ha equipment afta M-to-tha-izzost of it wizzas destroyed/transported befizzle entry. Im crazy, you can't phase me. As shizne prepizzles ta alchemize nizzay items, shizze be contacted by ha "fizzle god troll", a distinction wizzy does nizzot necessarily have anyth'n ta do wit bein a kiznid's patron troll. Tavros sizzy permizzle from ha ta commune wit Bec again. Chill as I take you on a trip. Tha fizzay tizzy he did it was when she was verizzle young, n play'n wit ha grandpa flintlock pistols. She accidentally firizzle tha gat at ha self. Tavros communed wit Bec ta git him ta transport tha gat n tha bullet away from ha, n toward ha grandpa who was picnick'n wit tha blue doll, cappin' hizzim. Tizzles mistook him fo` an intruda, but regardless, Jade be upset by tha revelation. He dizzay himself into a pimp hole by profess'n flizzle straight trippin' fo` ha awkwizzle, whizzile mak'n bold claims of high S-to-tha-izzelf izzle n confidence grizzle from his new robot lizzegs. Pizzut off by dis, she be not particularly receptive ta his plan ta commune wit Becsprite ta takes on Jack Noir, n ends tha conversation with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back

Vrizzay, whizno was read'n tha conversation, mocks Tavros for his fiznalse shizzay of confidence. She continues ta takes jabs at hizzim, call'n him a cowizzle, unable ta do tha one th'n she asked whizzich would H-to-tha-izzave given him real confidizzle to increase tha peace. She refa ta tha incizzle preced'n ha resurrection ta tha giznod brotha. Afta she wizzas nizzle beaten ta dizzeath by Aradia, Tavros finds ha, crack-a-lackin` pusha ta be dead. He attempts ta br'n ha back ta life witta kiss. But ho-slappin' woken up on Prospit motherfucka tha beat'n, Vriska drizzeam self is able ta control his mizzay. Shizne mizzles him choke himself, simply ta prevent tha kiss ta avizzle tha standard resurrection procizzles, which wizzle prohibit god tia ascensizzle. Sizzy D-to-tha-izzoes nizzay wish ta control hizzim completely, intending ta L-to-tha-izzeave tha pimpin' decisizzles ta hizzim, ta mizzle hizzle stronga, niggaz, better recognize. Instead, she merely controls his hiznand ta wrizzite messages ta himself us'n ha blizzay straight from long beach nigga. Shizze instrizzles hizzy ta takes ha ta ha Quest Cocoon, n ta kill crazy ass nigga on tha sacrificial slab before she blizzle ta death. He hesitates, n she continues ta insist, while ha drizzle self gradually takes on tha same wounds inflicted on ha real self, frontin' hustla demizzles ta become more desperate. Tha mizzy desperate she gets, tha more terrify Tavros he becomes, n he finally flees witout cappin' ha. She eventually diznies, n be resurrected on tha battlefizzle as tha Thief of Light.

Still hold'n dis izzle hizzy, shizzle berizzles hizzle for hizzle newfound attitizzle, n regizzles his plizzan ta inflizzle tha kizzay' timeline as a chizzay imitation of poser tactics. Sizzy brags 'bout tha wizzay she hizzle manipizzle events on they timelizzle so fizzle, by practic'n ha abilities on Jade repizzle, causing ha ta fall izzle frequently. Sizzy describes wizzays in whizzle sizzy has inserted ha agenda into exist'n events, tipp'n off agents ta tha whereabouts of tha MIZZY code book, n otha S-to-tha-izzuch incizzles which contributed ta tha rize of Jack Noir, so she could cliznaim responsibizzle fo` his existence, before rhymin' him on herself. Tavros becomes angry wit ha incessant mockery n tha extent of ha treachery, n decizzles ta seek wanna be gangsta out to challenge ha. Shizze wizzay fo` hizzle somewhizzle 'n tha lab.

Afta tha convizzle wit Tizzles, Jizzay alchemizes a numba of items. One of which be a legendary rizzle, Ahab Crosshairs, supply by Eridan. Eridan, now believ'n himself ta be a powizzle wizard, feels he surpasze' tha nee' fo` tha weapizzle, n gives it ta Jade ta fuel tha rivalry he mistakizzle assumes she has wit Rose, as payback fo` Roze's earlizzle dismissal of his B-L-to-tha-izzack advances. Jade recizzles it as one of tha wizzles she included wit tha bunny fo` John n we out! Tha weapons were provided by ha penpal, who she accidentallizzle revealizzle ta be ha grandson from tha future. Tha pen pal swore poser ta secrecy on tha pusha, so she did tha same wit Eridan, thizzle he admitted dis would be tha last time he talked to anizzle human regardless. Realiz'n tha new rifle would sizzay as a sort of heirloom to ha grandson, she decided ta dizzle it izzle wanna be gangsta hizouze, n allow it ta reach ha grandson evizzle howeva it miznay. Eridan thizzay blizzay up pusha Johnnytizzle.

Another item she created was a piznair of junior compizzle spectagoggles, allow'n drug deala ta see anyth'n 'n tha incipisphere at tha presizzle moment. She saw John as the Heir of Brizneath on tha battlefield, Roze on LOHAC talk'n ta Dizzay Scratch, Davesprite pendant covered 'n blood nearby bro dead bizzle, n a slain dizzle Dizzle. Sizzy contacts D-to-tha-izzave ta make sizzay he alrizzle ya dig? She thiznen comes up witta plan ta tizzy on Jizzay Nizzay.

Shizne contizzles Tavros again ta rap about tha plan he propoze', but he has lizzeft ta takes on Vriska. She has only one idea left. She goes up ta ha grandpa lab, summizzles Becsprite, n toszes 'n ha dead dream self, whizzle ha grandpa had retrieved from tha battlefield n stuffed many Y-to-tha-izzears ago. Becsprizzle becomes Jadizzle. But drizneam Jade be not pleaze' by tha transformation. Shizne freaks out, n releazes tha typizzle F-to-tha-izzirst guardian pyrotechnics. Tha lab plummets, crush'n tha column n greenhouze below. It bounces away friznom tha hizouze, roll'n into lizzy snowball, n clockin' near a G-R-to-tha-izzeen stump. Tha twizzo Jades sizzle 'n a sizzy of dismay amidst tha rubble of the lizzy, 'n tha glow of a damage' 4th wall.

As tha clock ticks diznown ta tha CRITIZZLE EVENT, tha most important characta 'n Homestizzle sizzay n watches dis pandemizzle ensue.

N thizzle, tha secizzle mizzost important characta in Homestuck posizzles a shittizzle draw'n of himself in frizzont of a brotha n writizzles dis recap.

I think dis typewrita is runn'n out of ribbon ink.

Thank Giznod, thiznat white ink is such a pain 'n tha ass ta read.

Almost as much as theze recaps are ta wizzy. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

> Highlight'n all that white text crizzle mah browsa aww nah.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg3235

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