#ranting word vomit under the cut

[artificiallita]

i got bit by the butch wolverine bug and trust me im in lov w her BUT have we considered futch deadpool???

(headcanons and upcoming fic snippets under the cut)

working on a big silly fanfic about this hot mess boinking logan in the odyssey. here’s some headcanons while the story finishes cooking.

- so. kept her first name as wade. i’ve seen a few alt names floating around for f!deadpool (big love for the winnies, winonas, and wandas of the ladypool extended universe) but genderfuck ‘not rlly a name’ just fits my vision for her. her parents were weird idk.

- deadpool is a woman in all variants except one in my personal headcanon. he is called dudepool. also her corresponding nicepool is male gaze-ified pre-mutation wade. she’s bleach blonde and her suit has a titty window.

- ex special forces turned mercenary whose life shit the bed when she was diagnosed with cancer. tried to be proactive about it long enough to get a mastectomy, then found out said cancer was pretty much everywhere else, and we know the story from there. since this predates her healing factor, she’s permanently single-boobed. has padding in her suit to even her out since it doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination, wears big t-shirts and ignores it in her civilian life.

- bisexual disaster zone. spent many years in a very happy and deeply perverted relationship with a male stripper named van carlysle, until that went down the toilet. a solid 70% of the casual sex she has is with women.

- dresses like the shitshow nightmare we know and love, loves an awful t shirt and a pair of crocs. put little to no effort into her appearance pre-mutation and that hasn’t really changed, had a brief phase of screwing around with makeup and wigs and then decided it was basically - to use a line of internal monologue from the pending fic - rolling a turd in glitter.

- speaking of, has a real complex about the changes to the way people perceive her post-mutation, namely that they seem to find her super fucking irritating and odd in a way that they very much Didn’t when she was still conventionally hot. between her military background and the general company she keeps, she’s quite often the only woman in her circles, and has always been a dysfunctional mess of adhd and unfiltered word-vomit, but that was generally read as mpdg ‘cool girl’ behaviour prior to her transformation, and now people seem to just think she’s a lunatic. less ‘oh god im hideous’, although she *absolutely* has those moments too, more ‘oh god everyone i know has thought i was a weird pain in the ass this entire time and only tolerated me because they wanted to fuck me’

- wears a lot of poorly applied eyeliner and purposely sleeps in it because she thinks it looks cool. it does not.

- had absolutely zero plans to snitch to cassandra about johnny’s rant, right up until the ‘bald hell’ line. she took that shit personally (almost definitely didn’t need to but whatever. i support women’s wrongs.)

and some snippets from the fic, all of which are me wade objectifying logan. technically spoilers but also what else did anyone expect

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Hey there! I really enjoy your posts about our resistant big boy König. I was wondering if you could create some hcs for the reader pampering him and taking care of him. Like maybe he has a stomach ache, so the reader gives him an abdominal massage or something if you’re comfortable with writing something like that. <3

Okay so first, I'm so sorry for being late. I got super busy this week. I've gone on three 6 hour long drives in the past four days. Three!!! I've been travelling north and my lord I'm bouncing all over the place. But, you're not here for me whinging about driving, we're here for the 'RESIDENT BIG BOY'.

I'm taking notes on that one, btw. That one's too good not to use. Resident Big Boy is now the best way to describe him. But yes, I am more than glad to go over some headcannons! König is a very silly man when he gets a bit under the weather, so let's go over why below the cut.

To put it bluntly, König is a big suck. He really is. He's emotionally mature enough to know that he's overreacting, but he's trained to deal with the worst, not mild inconveniences. For him, having a full fever is easier than dealing with a small problem. The worst part of it all is that it's usually self inflicted.

König doesn't really get colds. He also doesn't really get hurt badly (unless he's come back from a mission, but that's another post entirely). He's careful, neat and considerate with his actions. That said, he has these moments where you really have to question how he's still alive.

You see, König has this little saying that he learned from his family. It's his catchphrase, at this point. Horangi groans whenever he hears it. Stilleto puts her head in her hands. Hutch's eyes glaze over as he looks far off into the distance and shakes his head, quietly muttering, "It's not right, man. It's not right." With all these reactions, you might be wondering what exactly is König's favourite catchphrase?

"It's not an expiry date, it's a best by date."

König has had food poisoning many times.

So when König goes on a whole rant about how 'it's not that moldy, just eat around it', the whole company knows to just wait. Almost like clockwork, the only thing König will be eating for the next 24 hours are his words.

When he's sick, he'll go home and he'll make it your problem. His stomach will be cramping, he'll be spewing vomit like a sprinkler, and he'll be stuck in the bathroom for hours at a time. When he crawls out, you'll be there for him.

You'll have to change his bedding religiously for him. He's sweating up a storm over here. Each time you do, he'll thank you profusely and then collapse into bed.

You'll have to change his bucket. He has a designated vomit bucket (he's gotten food poisoning enough to have one marked and ready for the occasion). He'll always thank you and hold your hand. Thankfully, the military forces him to keep short hair so you don't have to hold that back, but he does really appreciate you rubbing his back. Honestly, who doesn't? It's the least you can do for someone turning their stomach inside out.

With his cramps, he'll pretend he's fine but at this point, you probably know better than to believe him when he says it doesn't hurt that much. Instead, get him a nice supply of heat packs for the worst cramps. However, he much prefers you holding him or rubbing his stomach. It's much more comfortable. He's so happy to have someone care for him like this. He might not be able to give back while he's sick, but he won't forget your kindness to him. He'll pay it back three-fold soon enough.

Every time you make him a light soup, every time you carefully feed him a plain salad or some cut fruit, he's delighted. He knows it might be coming back up in less than an hour, but he's grateful for anything you provide him. As long as it's edible, he'll eat it. (Just please remember to stay away from foods that are hard to digest, like protein, dairy and carbs. Maybe some plain toast with his soup is alright, but it's a good idea to give sick people simple food. Just a pro tip.)

He will curl up to you and use you as a blanket when he gets cold. He will soak up your heat like he's in the ice age. He can't get enough of your gentle touches or soft words. He clings to them as he clings to you, a suffocating embrace.

When you are too hot, he'll begrudgingly roll away and kick off all his blankets and sheets. That's a good sign that maybe you can step away and do some household chores for him. The house doesn't clean itself, after all. When he can appreciate your hard work properly, he'll gladly kiss you and hold you close. However for now, he'll just curl up and lay perpendicular to you and lay his head on your abdomen when you get back. He may not be able to kiss you right now, but he'll gladly curl up on the mattress with you.

Sometimes, he might need help walking to and from the bathroom, and that's always an ordeal. Unless you're strong enough, he'll just have you both toppling over in a heap of sickness and sweat. It'll be miserable. Instead, he'll have to force himself to stand a bit so he won't have you losing your balance. When he collapses back in the bed, he'll huff and puff and grumble about the bathroom being too far, but he'll live. Maybe take the time to run your hands through his hair and scratch his scalp. He'd like that quite a bit.

Anyways, I hope these are some decent headcannons! I am most certainly comfortable writing things like this, and you've inspired a post about König getting fully sick, and how to deal with that! I also might make one about him dealing with minor injuries, like stubbing a toe or spraining a muscle while training. I imagine this guy is an amazing survivalist, but his civilian survival skills are akin to that of a lemming.

[fallen-angel-with-broken-halo]

"Angels Before Man" by Rafael Nicolás rant that quickly spirals out of control. Just a result of my emotional instability and finishing reading the book. Will include spoilers. You've been warned.

There's something incredibly, innately twisted about the concept of existing under someone's will, living in the palm of their hand, giving into their every whim just so they do not spite you. There is an inherent manipulation within the word "love." It implies that everything the other person does is for you, out of their love for you. And the harm that may come from it can cause you to numb yourself so hard you harm yourself in a dissociative haze, lash out, be in intense denial... It doesn't matter how they hurt you. Your parent, your creator, they love you. And so, they demand obedience under the guise of respect. It starts off relatively harmless, just as long as you do as you're told. You're loved. You're touched. You're surrounded by warmth. It feels good. But the moment the cracks start appearing, you show the slightest hint of disobedience, from the perfect child you slip into the black sheep. You're warned, but there's much more fun things than being near your parent almost all the time and singing them praises! And then there comes the punishment. You scream until you feel like vomiting up your lungs. They hurt you, and you end up unsteady on your feet. They tear your wings off and make you unable to fly, casting you aside to fend off on your own. All you can do is plunge a knife into yourself to see what's inside.

What did you put into me? You've created me from love, from flowers on meadows. But all I find inside is slippery and red, making me feel even more numb. You told me I'd flourish with time, yet it feels like you're constantly deflowering me. Where is the childish innocence with which I was born? You created me and made me afraid of the mirror. Timid yet beloved. Humble yet craved. You gave me time to discover words instead of telling me them. So, I created some for things that had not yet been described yet. Why? Because victims are too scared to break an illusion of paradise by naming your actions. The moment everyone finds out you're not all good and mighty, you will be lesser than us. Your victims will be above you. But you don't want that. So you tell your children you create morality, that you and only you can tell apart good and evil. Except, your perfect child, the one you took the most time with, the one you dressed in most expensive clothes and jewellery, was the first one to oppose you. You did not see that coming. You created me with a purpose in mind. The angel of worship, meant only for worshipping you, creating songs for you, dancing for you. But I saw you for who you were. A liar. And then I felt you everywhere I went. I could feel your gaze everywhere. I couldn't speak because of you. I stopped sleeping at all because of all the night terrors you've caused. I started harming people dear to me in sudden panic attacks, no longer recognising myself. My mind split. I can hear voices, thoughts, thoughts of violence, of sex, of defiance, of mischief. You force the one person I worshipped to be the one to cut my wings. They believe in you more than they believe in me. You made them your sword. The paradise you've created will never know the ends of suffering, but I will have discovered the last remnants of your mercy before they dwindled away. An angel will never be a god. An angel can bleed.

[pey-up]

Tell me about your OCs!!!

YIPPEEEEEEEEE

youre all going to regret this.

This is gonna be long so RANT UNDER CUT-

Okokok so i have multiple stories but ill spare yall and just give you the main one (or ig the most fleshed out one?)

It follows a teen girl Elora, who's a silly gal and by silly i mean autistic and would bite someone if pressed. She reallyyy likes big words, like you know those hyperspesfic words that describe super specific moments or feelings? She loves those. Being super specific is her Jam. Anyways, she's friends with two kids Edgar (has bit someone and would bite again) and Paige (would never bite someone. Allows affectionate biting.)

Theyre not vampires theyre just weird/aff

Elora's mom is named Bellaire, she's a single mom who works one job, loves her kid and never stops, we love Belle. Where is eloras dad you may be asking!? Doesnt exist. Pokemon style. (I have never played pokemon but ive seen enough delia x jesse art to know). I kinda leave the second parent up for interpretation because its fun to see what ppl come up with :3 (kinda like mrs. Afton? Literally built out of headcanons and dreams) Bellaire is a health IT worker and she loves it! It's why she moved to Pennsylvania in the first place! She kinda moved around a bit as a kid from france to italy to north carolina so good for her for staying put :3

Uh- okay so one thing about my stories is i do not care if its realistic for a Korean woman in 1987 to be working IT. The world in my stories is nicer. Doesnt mean bad stuff doesnt exist! It just means im going to pretend it can happen because she deserves for it to happen >:[

Belle and Elora are real close since theyre kinda the only family each other have, El has a tricky time expressing emotions and affection, whereas Belle is reallt outwordly affectionate so some miscommunication happens there :( boy itd be a shame if Someone were to not make it to the end of the story and theyd be unable to communicate properly (<- its not written yet.. i will be killing at least someone off though...)

Edgar and El have that "never met one of my parents" swag, Edgar in the form of my dad sucks (im not projecting youre projecting. What.) And his momma died when he was real young. His mom and Bellaire were reallll... close.

They were gay.

But yknow, she died so Ed's dad took over and cut belle out of edgars life, so poor baby ed has zero support systemUntil he meets elora on a rainy day when hes much older, about 12 or 13 id say?

Paige is significantly less traumatized, but she has the "i need to be suuper happy and a support system for everyone else because they obviously have it worse than i do" disorder :(

THERE IS A PLOT TO THIS I SWEAR!!! SORRY ITS KINDA WORD VOMIT RN-

Its more put together when i write it i swear (two chapters r in my pinned post, ill write more when school starts and i get settled in my creative writing class again :3 gimmie a week or so hehe)

Heres some doodles i did of them! The placeholder title is currently Aberrant so its tagged under that (and then specific characters of their names, Elora Carpenter, Paige Madden, Edgar, etc)

Thanks very very much for the ask!!!!!

[koolades-world]

DAMN SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A DU TO OBEY ME PIPELINE. that fandom made me worse and i think it made my life go downhill (/hj). i was so mean like we weren't all children with unrestricted internet access idk why i thought it was that serious </3 (sorry i was reading ur blog and saw a post responding to someone and i went "wait i minute" and had a few flashbacks)

OMG HEYYYY (more ex fandom ranting under the cut!)

first, welcome!! so glad you found a better fandom to migrate to and that you aren't stuck in the past like some people i knew. you are all good, no need to apologize. it's so crazy to me that i've encountered not one, but two ex du fans out in the wild! i thought there were about fifteen of us total lol. i know that war flashback feeling. was digging through old screenshots for something the other day and i found my stash and had to take a moment. sorry if some of this makes no sense or has odd flow. i'm word vomiting and i'm pretty tired rn (in the middle of drinking a matcha, coffee, and monster all at the same time). college has been sucking the life out of me, but i just had to answer this immediately

yeah it was absolutely wild man. i don't think anyone except like a few people liked me because to this day i'm still only friends with two of them. the way i was absolutely witched hunted i tell you :sob: i 100% made more enemies than friends. even my readers were mean, and i just took it all for some reason? i've been on tumblr for about a year and half now, and i haven't had a single mean fan, but back in the day, i think i had more than i can count. yes i was on wattpad for longer, but considering the ratio, that's crazy. i have about 2.2k followers here (love all of you guys mwa mwa) and i have zero mean fans. on wattpad i think i have like 260 something, and the fact that i cant count the amount of mean fans i had is insane. if i didn't have those friends, i would be convinced it was a fever dream. if you were on wattpad at the time, you'd understand how jarring the swap from that fandom to this one would be. fanfics are allowed? still kinda crazy to me actually. can't believe being an author is welcome here! im part of a zine now!!! i didn't think that was every going to happen. have no clue how the hell this pipeline happened, but hey! at least there's two examples lol. like i said before, i honestly cannot tell if it made me better or worse, but i can for sure think of all the ways it made me worse! haha.

yeah we were all kids with unrestricted internet access everyone was like 10 to 14. i was 13 or 14 when i entered the fandom and that was old LOL. can't believe i was the responsible adult in the room at 14! my now best friend was like 11 or so at the time. maybe its the trauma bonding or something, but we're basically siblings now. we are inseparable, package deal if you will. if you remember chev, i am exactly one day older than him lol <3 my favorite running joke but it also shows my age. the swap to this fandom was so odd, because now i'm a baby compared to everyone else lol. i can't believe i'm no longer a mediator or anything. this fandom is pretty unproblematic and it's so so refreshing to just be able to exist

if you knew who i was back in the day and didn't hate me, feel free to reach out! if you didn't still feel free to reach out haha. even if you didn't know me, you probably knew my best friend whether you liked it or not haha. i understand if you don't want to, but if you ever want to chat, i totally wouldn't mind! feel free to send me a dm and i can give you my discord. would be nice to get another outside perspective. if not, again, totally fine! have a wonderful day and hope you're recovering well. you're a fighter and deserve the best! hugs and kisses :)

[iguessitsjustme]

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna Ep 3 & 4 Thoughts

It has been a week and an entire half. I wanted to watch this earlier this week but there was just no way that was gonna happen. Not only was my tendonitis acting up but dear god. I’ve been going through it. Anyway now I finally have time and it is time for me to resume my liveblog for this wonderful and glorious show. Let’s goooooooooooooo. As always, under the cut.

You guys will never believe it. But right as I was about to watch my mom called. So I need to pause before even starting to discuss Pit Babe with my mother who has just finished it.

Okay. I’m not done talking to my mom but my aunt called and my mom needed to take her call. I was just in the middle of my rant which I can finish later. So my liveblog will probably get interrupted again. Which means nothing to you guys reading it except for when it interrupts my commentary. But this way we both get interrupted…I digress. Let me actually start watching now. Also my finger is currently bleeding so I’m not sure how much I’m going to type because of the…ya know…blood. And I’m too lazy to go get a bandaid.

I love how cute this opening song is. It’s perfect. Adorable. Cute even.

Hey bastard. Do not EVER comment on what someone else is eating. Especially a stranger. It’s not okay with friends, it’s not okay with family, it is not okay NOW. Keep your big mouth shut and mind your business.

I fucking love her. I’m sad she drank that beer but I love that she shut him up. He was such an ass.

Awwww they’re comparing how they wrapped their gyoza but they are so sweet about it. No judgement. Just different. I love them.

Awwwwwwwwww she specifically picked up the beer. She put down her chopsticks to pick up the beer. Oh I am unwell about this.

Anyway who is gonna come visit me to have gyoza rice and beer? I like two of those three things but now I feel like I gotta try them all together. And I need someone to do it with me. Any takers? No? No one? Yeah I get it. I’m too far away from y’all aren’t I? (makes note to tell my mom to get certain ingredients for when I’m there for the 4th)

Ope and look at that my mom called back.

I just word vomited all about that Wandee Goodday episode today to her so everyone thoughts and prayers for my mother for having to deal with me and my incessant chatter. If you think I don't shut up on twitter, you will not believe what I'm like irl.

SHE LAUGHED. Did I rewind it just to watch it again? You bet your ass I did. How wonderful.

Good advice. Direct communication. Just ask.

Awwwwww she gave her food when she didn’t even know how much she needed it….I’m really gonna need to learn their names. But I am so, so bad at it. Someone help me actually.

No YOU’RE crying

Alright time for episode 4. I can only do two episodes today alas. But I am loving this show.

Me, about all of the QLs that are currently airing

Yes, yes she is.

I did not have a lot to say during episode 4. I was too busy smiling at my screen. I enjoyed it immensely. These two. I’m….fine. I’m fine. I swear.

[florallylly]

Loved your Steve child model au, esp because it focuses on Steve making his looks part of his personality. I wish the show would go into Steve's injuries more. We know he likes the way he looks and is a bit vain about it. If they never bring up the demobat scars again, what was the point? Because realistically he would struggle with it. Even prior to that his face should be littered with scars, his nose should look a bit wonky. I would love to see him coming to terms with his new look and how he will act because of it. Like you said I feel like Steve thinks beauty is all he has, he doesn't think he's smart enough, all his has is his looks and charms but if that gets taken away who really is he? I know the show won't ever acknowledge Steve's trauma, we would be lucky if the neck scar is visible in s5 but man. Sorry for this rant here

THANK YOU SO MUCH. i have literally been ruminating about this concept for ages, mentally begging someone to catch my brainwaves and write it. but unforch... it hasn't worked. had to get my little brain worm out in the form of word vomit, BUT I AM SO GLAD YOU GET THE VISION.

like he's constantly looking at the mirror pre-stranger things to make sure he's always looking perfect but after billy and starcourt, he can't help but look at the imperfections on his face. i don't think he's stop using mirror TOTALLY but i feel like at a certain point, he'd consider his BODY his appeal.

i think that him striking out in scoops would just validate his feelings about his looks, and make him feel even more like a Loser because could he even trust his fallback anymore? and just the crushing low self esteem because he thinks that all he has is being pretty, and when he loses that, then what is he?

and my theory is that when he does modeling on the side after his parents cut him off, photographers also point out his flaws and some of them end up trying to cover up his scars with make up or take focus away from his face. but he continues on because he Needs the Money. and at least he still has something attractive about him.

WHICH leading to family video, i think that steve would try to change his mannerisms to purposely bring attention to his figure and emphasize what he considers his best asset. only for his thoughts to be validated because he starts getting dates again.

in my heart, i imagine that during this time, he is connected with a photographer who is looking for a model for their art exhibition. and gushing over steve's "unique" look and his "bravery" for continuing to be a model. steve feeling super uncomfortable bc he's so used to trying to bring attention away from his face.

and maybe that photographer focuses on his scars, inspired to tell a story of sorts through their photos. and steve's eye twitching because he feels like a specimen under a microscope, and the focus on his "imperfections" just causes him to spiral a little bit rather than builds his confidence.

and the demobats just take away the last thing he's been able to hold onto. they take away the last thing that could possibly give him value.

and YEAH the show so rarely shows the consequences of trauma, especially when it comes to steve. and it's such a shame that the scars seem to disappear at the start of every season. if season 5 shows steve with ANY scars, i would be immensely surprised (though i think i might not watch season 5...)

ALSO sudden thought: steve harrington's brain trauma leading to migraines, and the bright lights during shoots trigger them. but he's so determined to see this through and prove his worth that he soldiers through. he's popping as much tylenol he can, but he's cold sweating bc the pounding in his head is so intense. and every time he leaves a shoot, he's out of commission for at least a day afterwards.

and i respond to ur rant with a rant <3 BUT YEAH thank you for getting the vision...

[soildmud]

reading inky mystery

good morning y’all, it is currently 3AM right now and i have developed some very strong opinions about inky mystery that i need to projectile vomit onto the internet. this is gonna be like a book review so i have some disclaimers/warnings:

#1: this “review” is not intended for the author, TAP, or anyone directly involved with the writing of IM. this is readers-only!

#3: i will most likely say very few positive things about the fic so if you don’t want to see negative remarks about your fav fic/story, maybe don’t read this. and also if you can’t handle strong language.

#4: i have not read all of IM, and there is a reason why. i will explain later on but i don’t need anyone to try and avoid spoilers. i don’t care for this fic enough to worry about that. talk to your heart’s content, i want to hear what y’all have to say!!!!

#5: i still enjoy inky mystery and its concepts and the overall story ideas. i think it’s fun and a cool spin on the original qftim au (an au that had so much potential and such shitty execution) and love how the fic has created an entire community around it! don’t get this twisted, i got nothing against IM or TAP.

now i’m gonna put the “review” (more like a rant) under a cut so as to not take up space on people’s dashes more than i already have lol—have fun!!

with such an interesting and promising premise, inky mystery has so far been a frustrating disappointment. i started reading it a while ago (had to stop because of school) and picked up again last night, hoping to get further into the fic and reach the parts that seem to be much more compelling than the exposition. i’m only on chapter 20 and already want to just stop reading it altogether. the more i progress through this the more i think to myself, “is this fic even worth reading 2.5 million words and 335 chapters?” as i’ve come to the beginning of chapter 21, i’m starting to think it most definitely is not.

obviously the biggest criticism is the length. there is absolutely no reason for why this fic is like 3 times longer than the fucking BIBLE. twelve “books” for what? to leave us in the same spot of the plot for the fifth time in a row when the conflict could have been resolved in almost half a chapter? the over-explanation of everything and the placement of practically useless dialogue is excruciating. i don’t understand how having chapter long bits of the warner shenanigans was necessary; i get it was meant for comedy but i don’t think they should dragged any longer than like a paragraph. their dialogue gets old incredibly fast, and it’s just a hinder to the fic’s flow. and before anyone says anything—I HAVE WATCHED ANIMANIACS BEFORE. in fact, i used to be obsessed with them and watched every episode until it stopped airing in 2014. i know they’re supposed to be the way they are in the fic but Holy SHIT DUDE. SHUT THEM THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

listen. i know this was originally written in 2017, but if you’re still updating this into 2024, at this point you need to remake the whole fic and shorten it. the way the author is updating the fic with basically filler makes me feel like they care more about creating content for their readers rather than actually writing a coherent narrative. you don’t need to take down the OG fic but there has got to be a way to shorten it so it doesn’t take literally a week straight to finish the fic in one sitting.

anyways. apart from that, i need to say that the writing style is so juvenile in a way that feels aggravating. i read the most recent chapter to see if anything changed and while it certainly improved in small ways, i feel like TAP still hasn’t learned how to not make sentences like four words long and dialogue sequences that don’t make up half the chapter. i also feel like the narrative is just…holding the readers hand and explaining every little thing like they expect the reader not to have any media literacy at all. i don’t need to know explicitly that boris and bendy are tired from walking for hours, i knew that from your narration mentioning their legs aching and them getting mucky from clambering in the forest.

next, i hate the random inclusion of unnecessary characters. the way the two detectives seem to only show up when it’s convenient and how the warners were used basically like a deus ex machina is frustrating. don’t introduce so many characters with so much detail and then have them show up like twice. i don’t know how to explain this because it’s almost 4AM now and my brain is foggy but god. when those two fox characters were randomly introduced at the end of idk what chapter to have a completely useless conversation with the detectives i felt so annoyed. i don’t know if they have any real significance later on in the story (and i don’t mean that they show up to say hi later) and honestly i cannot be bothered to find out if they do, but if they don’t, that entire section of the chapter was fucking stupid. let your MAIN CHARACTERS learn information from other sources for the love of god.

in the end, i don’t know if i’ll ever finish Inky Mystery, at least not anytime soon. i had fun at the start and now i’m just annoyed and frustrated. also, to the wiki people, PLEASE MAKE CHAPTER SUMMARIES AND SHIT—IT WOULD BE A DREAM FOR THOSE OF US WHO DON’T WANT TO SIT THROUGH 2.5 MILLION WORDS FOR PLOT AND STORY!!!!

also, i am not claiming to be a better writer or have superior knowledge to TAP. i think TAP is good at writing, but has some flaws that really limit their full potential. i myself am an amateur writer with no training or anything, but i am a reader, so that’s why i’m yapping.

ALSO ALSO, i am not doing this to shit on TAP or IM or anyone who likes this story and everything. like i said, i actually like IM and really want to get into it so i can make fanart and everything, but it has been a struggle and i want to voice that because this is my blog and i use it like a virtual diary. i will continue to skim and push through IM, and will most definitely use it as a learning tool for my own au, SITP.

again, this review was made with zero malice in mind. however if anyone wants to say anything i’m 100% open to conversation, and if this reaches TAP’s screen somehow, please know i’m not trying to be a hater!!! i love your ideas and the community you’ve created, promise!!!! i’m done now cus i’m tired and need to sleep so bye to anybody who read through this beast of a post lol plus i don’t have the energy to write all i wanted to say. sorry if there’s any mistakes i’m falling asleep as i write LMAO

bye!!!!!!

[ohdudedhesflirting]

I love you so I let you go, final part.

Part 1. Part 2.

Pairing: Seok matthew x f!reader

Warnings: Therapy, YN is going through a depression (not diagnosticed), vomitting, mention of bullying, anorexia

Tag : @seok02, I hope you will like it Nina, this is the end <3

Genre: University au, Matthew fell first, friends to sweethearts, angst, break-up.

Synopsis: Y/n and Matthew were in a relationship. Y/N get some needed help, before finally meeting Matthew again.

Notes : This is the final part, I hope you will like it <3 English is my second language. Please if anyone is huring you, if you are knowind difficulties, please tell someone, do not stay alone.

Words : 2667

... Under the cut...

A smile barging on your lips, you where looking outside the windows seeing your boyfriend, Seok Matthew, happily passing by with some of his friends.

You still had difficulties to believe that Matthew had chosen you. On your side Matthew had alwyas been the evident choice, he was the perfect man and the most kindest person to ever exist to you.

Excitedly you were working over an assignement which had been assigned to you in one of your classes. You just wanted the time to go by faster and meet with your boyfriend. You had a date later that day at his place and you could not wait one minute even more.

A loud scrape on the floor got you out of your thoughts. Looking at what made the sound you were met with one of the girl from your class. Miranda. She was not the meanest but not the kindest either. Just the type you had to say hello to when passing by in the hall, but not the type one would willingly have a drink with.

« How are you doing Y/N ? »

Startled by her question you replied « good thank you, I trust you are as well »

« Actually I am not »

Questionning her with your eyes you wondered what the sudden urge of honesty came for. You were not especially close and she had lots of friends why would she suddenly rant to you ?

« I dont understand how a girl like you bagged a guy like Matthew.. I really dont get it. »

Your smile that already had gotten smaller got even more smaller, just completely dissapearing from your face. You though all those insults and remarks had gotten away, it had been a while since anyone said something clearly to your face and you did not miss it.

You knew what those remarks were doing to you. You were just spiralling into your own insecurity and sadness every time.

« Look at you. Ugly litlle girl, just fat and no muscles. Nothing particular about you, just a boring plain gril »

Saying so she took your brown hair between her long fingers. With your eyes you followed her do so. You knew that this was only going to be the beginning and wanting to preserve yourself you started to pack your stuff to leave. You did not need to hear any more words, you had heard enough.

"Wake up Y/N, Matthew is just doing charity work you know ? One day he is gonna ditch you and then what ? You are nothing"

Droping your pencil case on the floor, you slowly bend down to take it back before she pushed it over with her shoe and left. Slowly going up again, you left a sigh leave your lips. When was this going to stop ?

--

Hearing your alarm you kept on hitting the button to turn it off.

You just had passed the worst week of your life. The absoulte worst.

After your breakup with Matthew you still pushed yourself to go to class and follow everything. As a scholarship student you couldn’t be absent to class but the effort it was asking you was terrible.

You felt as if every eye was on you, and it was as if they knew about you and Matthew.. The insults and whispered remarks had not died down. Not wanting to eat alone at the cafeteria you had just skipped lunch the whole week week. Its not as if your stomach could handle any food, any time you tried to eat something you just puked it out. The only thing you could tolearate was some yogurt.

Finally it was the weekend and you would be able to be alone without forcing yourself to put on a facade. Trying to be brave.

The light coming for your window had been too much and you just closed everything down, leaving in the dark since a week and the though of not seeing the sun was the greatest of all.

Alone in your bed, curdled up in one of Matthew’s sweatshirt you were wondering if you had comitted a mistake.

Matthew was the greatest thing to have ever happened in your life. He was realiable. Kind. You loved the way his whole face lighted up every time he was smiling, the way he reached stuff for you on high shelves. Enguffling yourself even more in his sweatshirt you started to feel the tears coming in once again.

You missed Matthew terribly but it was the best for him. You kept repeating this to yourself over and over again. Every time he was sending you a message, you did not even dare to open it. Every time he called you, you just turned your face over to not see his contact picture.

You had to do it. All those people were right, you were stopping Matthew from growing, he derserved to be happy and free.

Yes it was the best choice.

And as you kept repeating over and over the sentence in your head your tears just kept on falling down as waterfalls.

A loud knock on your door, stopped you in your cries. Eventually you though that the person would leave but a second knock was heard on your door, before a third. You refused to move, your body could not move anyway.

That person will just leave, thats what you kept thinking.

Not until the key was put inside the lock and unlocking it, letting a person come into your place. You had not even noticed just sobbing on your bed, hidden fully under your covers.

Footstep were resonating in your appartement, before a hand finally placed itself on the doorknob of your bedroom. An impressive silhouette letting himself in and putting down the food he brought on the side.

The hand solwly pulled up a part of the cover, unveiling you, curdled up crying wearing one of Matthew’s sweatshirt, holding another in your hand.

« Seriously YN what the hell »

Lifting up your gaze you where left with Han Bin’s gaze. The older man was just looking at you in disbelief. Or at least the shadow of you,

« Hanbin ? What are you.. ?»

« You and Matthew are exactly in the same state.. Scoot over »  

Slowling pushing yourself on the side, you left a place for your friend. The man just looked at you in disbelief, with your puffy eyes and red nose. But also at your bedroom covered in tissues.

« This place is gross let me tell you »

Looking at him, you didnt understood what he was doing there and how exactly had he gotten the keys

« Before you ask, no I did not break your door, Matthew gave me the keys »  

« Is Matthew alright ? « 

« He is just like you so a mess basically »

Sighing you could feel yourself feeling even more down, the whole basis of this breakup was to free him so he could be happy away from you.

« YN listen, I know about what people are saying, I heard.. I don’t think Matthew knows, are what they are saying the reason you broke up with Matt ? »

Slowling confirming with your head,Han Bin sighed and pulled his hands up to his face.

« Why are you like this ? They are just jealous, seriously, what you and Matthew have is so important and you are just letting yourself have your relationship ruined by them ? »

« They are right Han Bin, Matthew is missing out on college life because of me, he deserves someone that pull him toward the stars not push him down lower than earth »

« You are not. The bond you have is unique and wholesome. People will always talk, behind your back or in front of you, do not let your relationship be ruined by jealous people YN. »

- -

"Why do what they are saying are so important to you ?"

"Well if it had been only one people I would not have cared that much, but so many people think the same and Matthew.. Well"

Slowly your therapist -that you were now seeing since two months-  encouraged you to talk

"Matthew is great. He is everything you could wish in a person and the though of making him unhappy even for one second destroys me, he deserves to be happy and loved and if by being with me he cannot be as happy as he could be, than I should let him be free"

"Correct me if I am wrong, you never told him about what those people told you right ? And you never asked him if he was unhappy with you ? Don’t you think that here it is your own insecurities that you projected into your relationship with Matthew ?"

Speechless you looked over at your therapist, was it what it was ? Did you truly let your own insecurities eat you up whole, you and your relationship ?

Slowly going back from your therapy session to your place, your mind was wandering off everywhere.

The therapy had not been your idea, but Han Bin and Jiwoong that litteraly kidnapped you one day after your classes to introduce you to this therapist. She was great really but every time you left a consultation with her you felt like your whole life was upside down.

Not really looking where you were walking you heard a voice from a distance. It was Matthew.

You had not saw him since over three months, when you broke up with him at his appartment. He never stopped sending you messages, yes they were less frequent but always send some.

In awe you looked at him. He had gotten more muscular, he had let his hair grown and he could now put it behind his ears. You remembered you always told him that it would suit him well and that you would love to see him one day with long hair. And you were right, he truly was looking good.

Looking at him from a distance, you thought about how much he seemed to have changed. His shirt was letting his biceps show, and you could see he got a new tatto,  he seemed to be doing well. His skin was shinig and he seemed to be getting enough sleep. You were relieved to see him this way, happy, healthy. You were suffering but at least seeing him happy was making up for it.

Finally you saw he was accompagnied, you recognized one of the two people walking by his side. The first one was a man named Keita, he was a bit shorter than you and obviously Matthew, you had talked to him a few times and he was really funny and sweet to talk to. A smile escaped your lips happy to see Matthew kept such a good friendship.

And then you saw her, Miranda, laughing with Matthew. Putting her hand on his biceps, curling up her hair. A feeling of knife went into your stomach and suddenly you once again wanted to puke. Running to the closet alley you vomitted everything you had ate. It had been a little while since it did not happen and you did not miss it at all.

A tissue approached your lips and you slowly took it from the hand of the person that was giving it to you.

Meeting with big brown eyes, you saw Matthew.

The man was scrutinzing you with his eyes. You had lost weight, gotten an haircut, you had pack under youe eyes, you looked globally exhausted.

"Are you alright ?"

You slowly confrmed it with your head not able to let any sound escape your lips. You could not belive he was in front of you, hearing his voice again, seeing his sparkling eyes once again, everything felt too good to be real.

Seeing Miranda and Keita slowly approaching you excused yourself before Matthew even had a chance to understand what was happening.

Seeing you run and leave him once agin, he had not even gotten the time to reach for your hand.

« She did not change uh »

Looking over his shoulder, Matthew questionned Miranda with his eyes. He was not especially fond of the girl, he always had found her too nice, too honey like with him and his friends. She was always as the place as he was. Just like today, he was just supposed to meet Keita for a cofee but she somehow was there at the café.

"YN, I can't believe you dated her, I remember how all of us would tell her how shocking it was"

" What ?"

Miranda laughed before pulming her hair behind her ear, Keita on the side was silent. All of Matthew's friend had promised to not say a word about what you had went through, you had asked Han Bin to ask them, and also messaged some of them. Matthew shouldnt and could never know what happened.

"She never told you ? We were always jokingly, of course, telling her how ridiculous itw as you two were together". She paused for a moment before continuing "Well thats what everyone said anyways"

Matthew stepped back for a moment, his mind wandering accross his memories, all the whispers he could sometimes hears, all the time you looked sad, scared in the corridors, all the time you vomitted, all the time you said you were feeling uncomofrtable. Why you never told him you loved him verbally. Everything matched up.

Finally Matthew undertsood why you had left him.

"You bullied her"

Laughing Miranda replied "We played, and see if she didnt told you anything it that it didnt mean anything"

Completely disguted Matthew left her there, followed by Keita, he asked his friend about it and he finally learned the truth. What you had went trough, how you made them promise to not say anything, you had been suffering alone since months and he knew nothing.

Going to your place, Matthew kept banging on your door, for months he had given you space, missing you in silence, but he could not stand it anymore, now that he knew the truth, he wanted to feel you in his arms. The sooner, the better.

Slowly you opened your door for Matthew, seeing your tiny figure, Matthew englobbled you in his arms

« Why didnt you say anyhting ? »

« What ? »

« I just learned, everything or almost everyhtng, why havent you said anything ? »

« I just.. It felt true to me. And well I was scared that if I told you you would leave me, I was gredy and I wanted to keep you  by my side »

Keeping you even closer to his arms, Mattthew brused your hair

« I love you and I won’t let you go, never. Those people they are wrong »

« They were not completely, if I had been secure it would not have happened, it happened because I let them destroy me »

Solwly pulling you aay Matthew took your cheeks between his hands.

« Listen to me, I love you and I deserve you, you deserve me. You are not a burden to me. You never were. Come back to me. »

Slowly breathing in and out, you explained to Matthew that you could not yet, you needed help, you needed to be worth of him, but not away from him this time. You would go back together slowly, just getting back the time you had lost all while seeing your therapist.

Matthew englobbed you in a tight hug and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. He understood, of course he did, but he could not be away from you anymore. You would be getting help and talk about it, but he would be by your side.

Loving each other and always staying at each other side.

[johnegbbrt]

intro post (again,,,)

hiii my name is john (u can also call me lain) my prns are he/hym/it/xe and more,, uhh im trans (ftm) and identify as like. queer or unlabeled. im a pagan i guess (i refuse to post about religion Ever though so this isnt really important)

i am autistic, i possibly have OCD and DID uhm so mainly u sometimes may see me bitching about stuff related to DID 💯

current brainrots i have uh: omori, mouthwashing, astronomy, greek mythology, homestuck, steven universe.

im also spottable on tiktok (@ is the.omori) so?? yeah

before u interact: i have incredibly poor memory. if i forget something (important or not) just remind me,,, again my intent isnt to upset anyone

before u interact continued: uhh DID stuff may happen and u may not always be talking to. The Main Guy (as in john/host thing whatever) so just like. ask who they are idk. (i prefer being seen as Me personally so i imagine other parts feel the same)

under the cut for more stuff u need to read uhh (boundaries, DNI, etc.)

DNI: anti-mogai, (pro) non-traumagenic systems, anti-otherkin, 18+/nsfw blogs, proshippers, radqueers/transids, trump supporters, basic dni criteria.

boundaries uhhmm

1. dont talk about vomit near me. just. dont (i have pretty bad emetophobia.)

2. use tonetags when talking to me. plz. its helpful.

3. if ur 17+ plz dont dm us. (even if ur our moot.) it makes us uncomfortable

4. very likely to not happen (has happened in the past tho so just incase) uhh do not?? make like sexual or romantic references (idk what word to use) but like dont say stuff like “are u and [some1] dating!!!” the answer will always be No. dont say more sexual versions of that either. i am a minor.

will add to this if necessary i guess

tags that we’ll probably forget to use

#{🌪️} john is typing… <- is uhh. john posting. yeah.

#{🔥} john is ranting!!! <- take a WILD guess. (rants)

#{❔} john is answering… <- hes answering asks

#{🗣️} john is yapping!!! <- him. infodumpinf?? or whatever its just him yapping abt his interests

#{💡} thats not john??? <- other parts talking (like me. if they want their identity known they can idk say uhh [name].txt or smth in the tags)

moot tags… mooties

#{💖} replying to phan… <- posts including @splatting-stampede (hi phantom haiii)

#{🫐} replying to kei… <- posts including @sourfunstrips (old man???)

#{👾} replying to don… <- posts including @mr-urple (i cnat see the color purple without thinking of “mama a girl behind YOU 💜”)

#{🐀} replying to rat… <- posts including @belovedrat (brainrot duo)

#{☀️} replying to sunny… <- posts including @clown-in-a-pool (sunnysunnysubstgranolabar granola b)

#{🦎} replying to vyx… <- posts including @dumblilgeckos (wife)

[girlyriddler]

SIIIGH rant about transm*dicalists and tr*nsphobes after the cut

the word 'transtrender' makes my skin fucking CRAWL because ever since i gained consciousness i hated the name they assigned me with

i hated the way it sounded i hated the way it was written i hated how i had to deal with it i hated it overall it made me want to vomit

of course it's not the only sign i've had from an early age, but it's always been this god damn way. you think i would hop on this as a trend? after years of suffering with this and other things? fuck you i'm going to snap your neck. especially if you're a fellow trans person who calls others that shit. i'm under your bed actually transphobes aren't going to see you as more of a human because you throw others under the bus

[humble-chaos]

I forgot the whole point of this blog was to post art and discussions about Sonic. I’ve literally only been talking for the past 2 years. No Good :(

rants under the cut

so originally, my plan was to make Iblis (he/him) a mimic form based loosely on Princess Elise, but as I replayed ‘06, I started thinking that doesn’t fit in the sense that Elise only houses Iblis rather than has a deep story alongside it. If anything, a form that resembles Blaze the Cat would be fitting for it, but that’s not the angst factor I want.

In a moment of desperation, Iblis the Light uses his godly power to tap into the mind of the Duke of Soleanna, if only for a brief moment to figure out why he and his Holy Other were being abused and torn to shreds. Iblis finds greed, selfishness, and above all, a lost love that the Duke desperately wants to return.

And it’s like something breaks. Iblis, in such desperation, attempts psychological warfare. He changes into the deceased queen, using her voice to beg the Duke to stop and have mercy upon their gods. It doesn’t work.

Mephiles himself doesn’t mind the state of form; they’ve a love that doesn’t mind form or even state of mind so long as they’re still together. (Because I love the idea of love between gods being something so complex yet so simple.)

but y’know, that’s just the word vomit in me :D

here’s the spooky old version of Iblis! (in the old ver, pronouns were she/her, but now I’m sorta liking the idea of them using pronouns as a title rather than an extension of themselves).

[gutwrenchflowerbomb]

And I’m not even an Elite girly or whatever. Everyone knows I’m Team Best Friends. And I was a HUGE Punk fan from back in the day.

And I'm gonna rant a little. Or a lot. But I'm gonna put it under a cut because I know many won't care and I don't expect them to. I'm not even going to tag it. I just wanna use this like I used to use tumblr back in the beginning times - like a journal to vomit words all over.

Look, I’m just some bitch who has a lot of experience with people of all personalities. I’m almost 38 years old, have been working legit tax-paying jobs since the age of 14, 85% of which have been positions where I deal directly with the public. I think it’s not hyperbole to say that in 24 years I have learned how to spot a fucking asshole from 15 miles away, both with customers and coworkers. It makes the job so much worse.

Especially when one of the employees is that guy who wants everyone to think he’s the hardest dude around so badly but then fails to realize that nobody gives a shit. It’s a stunted 16 year old mindset coming from a 40-something year old man. And it’s not like this whole situation was an anomaly. He has a clear history of this kinda shit. He’s gonna do something shitty again, it’s just a matter of time.

And yet, here he is. Why? Because he can draw? Okay. Yeah, sure he will sell merch and tickets or whatever. But is that worth it if it results in a big chunk of your employees being unhappy? Will it be worth it when the people who have been there from the jump - the ones who carried the shit through the pandemic, the ones who went along with shit fucking booking - don’t renew their contracts? Will it be worth it when the toxic situation drives away the FANS who have been there from the jump?

I've been a wrestling fan for nearly 30 goddamn years, I am well aware there has always been real beefs and shit between people. That shit was just never as transparent as it is now. Social media, the fact that kayfabe doesn't really exist anymore (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I digress) leads to this kinda shit.

Like. I just wanna watch fucking wrestling.

I wanna be taken out of the reality of everyday life. I wanna make silly jokes about gear or promos or dumb storylines. I don't want to have to sit and watch and wonder if every single line in a promo is a subtle jab at someone else, if someone is 'shootin' on someone else, oh no! who's gonna be mad, what will the dirt sheets say?

All of the attention is taken away from the performances and the talent busting their ass, literally breaking their bodies for fans. It's fucking selfish.

I just wanna watch wrestling.

[lizhly-writes]

Lizhly, longtime follower here but going anon coz I'm embarrassed. Help I have 2 weeks to write 3000 words of ANY fiction and that's not a lot TECHNICALLY but it's for a workshop group that will be seeing it every day for a week so it has to be good. I don't know where to start, have too many half baked ideas, and I procrastinate. Share your wisdom?

I had a draft to this, you know. tumblr deleted it. we're going off some half-baked wisdom now. anyway! flattered you chose to ask me, disclaimer that i am probably not your best source when it comes to not procrastinating and doing 3k in 2 weeks (track record is not great) but I will do my best!

now. here is how i would do it. here we are, under the cut:

Ideas

pick the funnest one or the one you're most comfortable writing. if that is not immediately obvious, then i would spend a set period of time brainstorming through each idea. just word vomiting every single thing you think about it onto a page. 5-25 min, depending on your schedule. 1 hr each would be great but who has that kind of time? me, on the weekends, maybe, but that's not important. the important thing is equal amount of time for each idea.

if you find your brainstorming time for that idea has ended and you wish that you could spend more time writing about that idea, congrats! earmark it. you're probably interested in writing it. if you find yourself struggling to come up with anything for the idea, you are probably not very interested in the idea. strike it off.

anyway. finish going through all your ideas. narrow down on the ones that you've written the most for. you probably have the most ideas for those ideas. if you are still not clear as to which idea you'd like from that pool, then present your ideas to the public/your friends and ask what they'd be most interested in. put up a goddamn poll if you have to.

The Writing:

Now. there are three kinds of writers: plotters, pantsers, and plantsers. more verbosely put: those who plot, those who write by the seat of their fucking pants, and those who do both. I'm that last one, so the following advice caters to number 3, which I shall separate into three modes of writing.

the outlining.

Write down exactly what you want to happen. It doesn't need to be neat, it doesn't need to be pretty, it can, in fact, resemble a tumblr rant. See below.

See, it's not particularly clean. I swear a lot. But the important thing is that I'm covering why I have this chapter, and exactly what kind of beats and scenes I want.

Here, you're figuring out, at minimum, a setting, your characters, and an idea of a beginning, a middle, and end. I like writing a little character profile and setting description here as well, just so I remember what's going on. If you can keep track of it everything in your head, all power to you!

This is also a pretty good time to figure out if you're writing too much. Like if you outline your entire story and find yourself with 10 fucking chapters? Too much. Figure out where to cut down or switch to a different idea.

2. the ranting

Right, so this is where the BULK of the writing gets done. This is the part where you try to grab as much word count as you possibly can. Ideally you are following your outline (don't be afraid to make changes to your outline, though, if some things aren't working), but if you are anything like me, you are writing outrageously out of order, probably hitting up all the fun scenes first. Do things make sense, read altogether? It would be nice if they did, but ultimately, it doesn't matter. Keep going. Write anything you can think of. Copy some bits of your outline, if it fits. Swear a bunch, if that's what helps. If you don't want to write something, like maybe a transition scene, just say it. That's fine.

The point, as I said, is to get word count. The point is speed, not quality. You can make things nicer later, but you need things there to make nicer, first.

Sometimes, the words don't come. I personally participate in word sprints and games for this. It adds a certain amount of accountability and competitiveness to it, both of which I respond decently well to. It also adds a time limit, which should help with procrastination.

3. the ordering

Now this is where you start putting things into some semblance of order. You have your raw material in abundance -- now it's time to make something out of it. You make things nice. You start rearranging your disconnected scenes and write little bridges connecting them. You fill out scenes and holes you've left in description or whatever. This is the step that makes your mess readable.

This is, for me, the longest part of the writing process. I get bored around here, and also probably lose some motivation here.

I like posting little bits of my writing on Discord, because there are some people that like my writing and are likely to say nice things. Comments! A boost to your ego and likely your inspiration. They keep you going.

(Notice I say three modes of writing, not three phases. This is because I bounce wildly between them. I get bored halfway through outlining, and go to ranting; sometimes, i've run out of things to rant about because I haven't established a stable enough base to continue on, so I go back to outlining or go to ordering to clean up what i have so i can launch off easier. Go back and forth between them when necessary).

Editing:

Once you finish your draft? Let it sit for a bit, if you have time. Take a break. You need some time away from your work.

Then you go over it with a fine-toothed comb. Grammar and spelling, sure, but truthfully, I don't immediately look for that. What I pay attention to is: would I need more description here? Over there? What about the dialogue, does it read well? Do I have enough dialogue tags? Do I have too many dialogue tags? Does this phrase hits like it needs to? Is the word choice good? Is everyone in character? Does everything make sense? Do you like what you've written? If not, why?

You will probably find your bits to add there.

What I would also do, if you're trying to make it good and you're unsure if what you're written is good, is find a beta reader. Maybe more than one beta reader, if you like. Finish your own editing, yes, but there is a limited amount of improvement you can get through the echo chamber of the self. An outside eye will help. Those questions that I've put up there, if you don't have answers, you're likely going to ask whoever your beta reader is.

Where will you find a beta reader? Ask a friend, if you trust them. Join a writer's discord, where there will probably be a channel for beta readers -- and also, a shit-ton of writers who will probably be happy to help you to find that word that's on the tip of your tongue or sprint against you to gain word count.

annnyway this is how i write. hope it helps! if you have questions, feel free to reply, or, i don't know, send another ask. good luck on your writing, anon!!! hope you get your 3000 words in!

[moonvoidpng]

This is me ranting ab the spy storyline

!major swtor agent storyline spoilers under the cut!

(Also, a lot of me crying for my spy baby.)

So i was playing as my gurly (shes my pfp btw lmao). And in her storyline she got brainwashed.

Basically when someone says a code word she has to obey (she literally cant physically go against the order or anything).

And the code word used for her is called "onomatophobia".

For those who don't know, "Onomatophobia means an abnormal dread of certain words or names because of their supposed significance".

Which made me die a little inside, bc shes a spy her whole life, and now the word used to control her literally means fear of that said word.

But yk, she gets through (thank you very much, watcher X).

She cant reverse it, so she made a new brainwashing serum, so watcher X made a new code word which noone would know. (shes delusional and sees him even though hes dead for me (literally)).

And that word is Iconoclasm.

"Iconoclasm can be defined as the intentional desecration or destruction of works of art, especially those containing human figurations, on religious principles or beliefs".

SHE MADE THE NEW CODE WORD A WORD THAT IS A REPRESENTATION OF SOMEONE GOING AGAINST THEIR WHOLE BELIEF.

Right now im busy bawling in a corner, crying sobbing vomiting.

Ik its kinda hard to understand why i feel that way, bc u need to play through that to see the whole symbolism of that new word.

Bc she went as a double spy and those bitches somehow knew that code word. So now she was forced to be silent to EVERYONE bc they used the code for her not to tell.

Just imagine when you can finally visit your nation, your friends who u consider family, and every time i used option for telling them the truth THAT FUCKING CODE WORD MADE HER SAY THAT SHES FINE.

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

I am NOT okay.

I will absolutely make fanart for both of those words, and they way my gurly changed through them.

Also, i am not done with chapter 3 yet, so please dont spoiler me for that part. I absolutely want to tear my heart out with the emotions im going through while playing that storytelling masterpiece. /srs

[nobodyfearspercy]

Tbh I draw shit and forget to explain what the shit I’ve drawn is so that people can understand what I’m even talking about,? So anyways That One Guy I have as an oc has kids

Info dump under the cut (if I did it right lmao)

So uh, when I made Elden he was a joke character, I thought it would be goofy if there was just this, angelic holy being that was incredibly incredibly down bad for eldritch horrors. And for awhile that’s how he stayed? Up until I tried playing him as a dnd character.

When I and a few people started planning out a campaign (that we sadly never actually got to play), I decided to play as him, while another person decided to play a child character. This child character in story immediately attached herself to him, and he had to figure out how to take care of a cosmic nine year old while also redefining his morals. On top of his backstory getting more fleshed out, suddenly this one dimensional character had more complexities. He has oodles and canoodles of religious trauma. Due to years of spending too much time with his warlock patron he’s started to view himself as an object to be used. He had convinced himself that lavish, expensive things would make him happy, when in reality he just felt lonely.

Since the campaign never happened and I eventually cut ties with everyone who was going to be playing, I was able to take the story in the directions I wanted it to go, just as a little thing to brainrot about for myself. So, Ollie, Micheal and Mauve were born! I love these three so much, they get into all kinds of shenanigans. The three of them are very young (in terms of the universe) cosmic beings that their eldritch parents abandoned on a planet in the middle of nowhere. Ollie is deserving of his own info dump, tbh. He’s quite angsty.

There’s a lot more to talk about (lord, Elden’s relationship with his patron is a MESS) but for now this is a word vomit salad enough as it is lol. If you made it to the end of my rant, thank you! It means a lot that you stuck around to read about my brain blorbos. Not a lot of people are going to really care about a huge text post about my ocs, so I’m glad you made it this far ❤️ I don’t mind if this post doesn’t get a lot of notes, I’m just autistic about my own guys and info dumping is fun. Thank you for reading!!