#randomly message people out of the blue and be like HI !!! thought of u !!
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SORRY IM FREQUENTLY POSTING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE MY FRIENDS but i love my friends :') i feel like i havent had a proper friend until i started this school and even if we arent together on campus anymore its really nice still having those connections and it makes me wanna curl up and bawl on the floor
#snow speaks#like ok. for the most part ive pretty much lived in isolation bc of ahahaha Things#and it honestly wasnt until i started this school that ive like properly allowed myself to. just chill and have friends jffjfjd#and i guess thats bc we all have the same goal so theres a sorta unity/understanding there#but like if theres a reason why im outgoing again? its probably bc of those friends#theyre so sweet and supportive and just so caring😭😭 i still dont think i deserve them but im happy to have them#but yeah like if theres any reason why im probably a better/more outgoing/talkative person its probably bc of them jffjfjfj#DOESNT MEAN MY ENERGYS BETTER MY ENERGY IS SOOO FUCKED but hey at least im not afraid to just#randomly message people out of the blue and be like HI !!! thought of u !!#etc etc jfjjfdj#anyhows. being emotional lately? sorry bout that lmao my emotions have been super fucked this week too ✌🏼#lets hope it doesnt backfire 😅
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babes is back
hello my lovies!!!!!!
i am back!!!! much to your pleasure and simultaneous screaming because yes, if i am back, the fics will be back. and they will be painful.
i thought i’d give you guys a little explanation as to why i kind of randomly stopped coming on tumblr despite my reappearances in december, which were because the lovely @neewtmas had her 12 days of christmas (FIND THAT HERE) and we’re online friends in real life (if that makes any sense at all) and i wanted to support her!!!! my wife!!!!
under the cut below is my little rundown, under a cut simply because i don’t want to take up a million scrolls of your dash if you don’t want to read my reasonings or you are just happy i am back (i luv u)
i have felt terrible since becoming inactive on tumblr since i made so many friends and had so so so many people supporting not only my fanfictions but the edits i also started making, so this is also kind of like my apology to you guys because i went so unexpectedly and without any explanation. so if you want to keep reading, then keep reading!
BOO
scary cut. i know. it’s ok. i am here to protect u.
anyways, like i said, my inactivity on tumblr was a completely out of the blue thing that even i didn’t expect. one day, i just found myself unable to go on the app out of pure dread which i had never felt because it was one of my faves.
and not dread because of anything that had happened here per se, just because my life had been becoming a bit of a mess.
that goes way back, but the crux of it was when me and my boyfriend of 4 years (who i had been staying with after my mum moved away) broke up
i won’t get into details about the breakup itself for both my privacy and his (very unique instances caused it), but basically it got worse and worse, and by october time it was getting to a point where i wasn’t feeling right at all. he was messaging me all the time, begging to get back together, the usual, but he was always wanting to come see me at my dads and for SOME REASON felt as though he had some entitlement to meet my new cats aka my little babies. he was saying creepy things to me (that he didn’t mean as creepy) and by november i blocked him.
i wasn’t feeling safe physically, worried i’d see him on my walks home from the shop in a different town that he comes to often to hang out in with his best friend, but also mentally. i wasn’t in a good mental space at all. i was scared. i was confused. he had pushed all of the blame of the breakup onto me. i was working 35 hours a week while being a student (still am) and my brain had no time for anything but work, studying, and worrying.
tumblr isn’t my job, but the pure guilt i felt when i deleted the app hit me like a tonne of bricks. i felt terrible. one of the only things that gave me solace was something i couldn’t bring myself to go on to. i couldn’t bring myself to write the requests i had piling in, ones i still have huge guilt for never getting around to writing. i couldn’t bring myself to keep answering messages or reblogging things because i didn’t have it in me. i didn’t even write at all october-november because i just had nothing in me, which is so so unlike me.
one thing that did keep me going though, was my emails. “eden ew ur job alert emails? ur period tracker app trying to get u onto premium? the emails from the joint account u had with ur ex for his music career that went kasplut?” no silly. maybe the job alerts - my job has too much drama.
no. 15 year old eden logging back into tumblr and setting email notifs on for comments, tags, and inbox was perhaps the smartest thing she did, and she got all A’s in her exams.
every now and then, i’d get a little tumblr notification. one of those “put this in the inbox of one of your favourite blogs blah blah blah” i luv em. can never get myself to do them because of the 13 year old in me screaming to never do chain mail again after carmen winstead and her creepy voicenote. but i love them, and i appreciate every single person who sent me one.
i could see people commenting on my fics, and absolutely loving them. i could see what my mutuals tagged me in, even if i wasn’t able to react to them.
it gave me peace of mind to keep going with my life while still being able to cling onto the happiness this site brings me while not actually accessing it.
i will always be sorry that i left so suddenly, but it was a spur of the moment thing and something i couldn't even explain myself.
i'm back now, but i likely won't be as active as i used to be. i'm prioritising work and my studies as much as i can while still finding time to write. this being said, i can't promise that all requests sent to my inbox/messages will be answered. part of my leaving was being so overwhelmed by them all (and i thank you all for choosing me to requests fics from, it means a lot!) so if your request doesn't get answered, i truly am sorry and it isn't anything personal! maybe I'll get around to it in the future, but for now i want to bring the joy back to writing for me so i will not be overloading myself like i used to!
i hope you can all understand, and know i love you all so, so dearly! i wouldn't have the friends i do or be where i am in life without all of you!
love u all lots lovies <3
-ur favourite person ever ever ever, eden MWAH
#givemea-dam-break#if you read the whole of this whopper i luv u#if you did not read the whopper i still luv u
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DaveFarts - Episode 1 “FartsApp” [Episode List] Since he’s a gassy nerd, Dave teases his friend Tim via WhatsApp by sending him a series of short videos of him farting.
FartsApp
Being gay with a fart fetish is really hard sometimes.
For me at least.
While the world is definitely getting more open-minded about homosexuality, I can’t really force it to accept this weird fetish (to be honest, all fetishes are kinda treated like taboos, regardless of the sexuality involved). I had to settle for YouTube videos or websites devoted to this whole fart-sniffing thing; not that I’m complaining: it was good to discover that so many people actually had this fetish.
Cue Dave. Well, sort of, actually. He doesn’t have a fart fetish and he’s not even gay. Dave has been my best friend since forever. Unlike me, however, he’s straight and is currently dating some (lucky) girl.
Around my age, he’s like a brother to me, and we’re actually well-known because of how much time we always spend with each other.
Dave is a great guy, a great friend, very open-minded and, dare to say it, actually quite hot.
Not surprisingly, being the brother I never had, he’s the first friend I came out to, the only one who knows about my homosexuality. Actually, it’s not like I told him… he found out on his own, in the worst possible way (for me).
During one of our nerdy game-nights, being “that one gassy friend”, Dave started to rip -as usual- tons of farts, fueled by some junk food, until he ripped one directly in my face (and boy it was amazing…). Everything went downhill from there… kinda. For some reason or another… he just accepted all at once not only my homosexuality, but also the fact that I found face-farting… hot. He just laughed about it and honestly gave me some encouraging words about my peculiar situation, proving that he’s indeed the best friend ever. Oh… and he also literally farted for me after that, in my face, letting me sniff and enjoy his amazing rips; he can also fart on command apparently: got a taste of his talent that same night.
That one, surreal night.
I still can’t believe it happened.
Felt like a confused dream. Like one of those nights where you drink too much so you don’t clearly remember what happened. But it was all true.
Dave, my best friend, was perfectly fine with me, my fetish, and all this weird stuff.
Yes: I know how lucky I am.
It’s been 4 months since he found out.
And, believe it or not, I’m getting face-farted so often that I’m almost forgetting how beautiful it feels.
Seriously: Dave simply accepted it like I’m living in someone’s crazy fetish dream and, when we’re alone, he just casually farts in my face (without me asking for it). Not always, but very often.
Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that my nose spends a lot of time brushing against his denim-covered butt, our friendship didn’t change at all though: we still hang out with the rest of our friends and generally spend a lot of time together.
Sometimes I’m so in disbelief about how easy-going he’s been with me, that I randomly ask him “You sure you’re OK with… this?” (I say, gesturing all of me), but he just smiles or rolls his eyes annoyed, tired of hearing the same question over and over again. What can I say? He’s perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality I guess, so he doesn’t have any problem with my fetish.
Sometimes though -sorry I say this- I kinda wish he did…
No, I’m definitely not complaining. That’s the best possible scenario for me, but sometimes he can get a bit too… inopportune. Dave is not really a prankster, but he loves teasing his friends, just for fun, including me.
I was in the middle of an important exam once, one of these pop-quiz thingies that make zero sense, and I felt my phone vibrate. I checked my FB private messages and all I saw was this YouTube link sent by Dave. Since I’m a fool apparently, I clicked on it, and one of those popular YouTube fart videos popped up and played, one with really loud farts. The first fart actually echoed in the room and other students glared at me: never felt so embarrassed (not including the night Dave found out about my fetish).
“Dude! Stop sending me this stuff!” I texted him. “I’m in the middle of an exam here!”
I scolded him for this, but the truth is that I couldn’t ask for a friend more open-minded than him.
The fact that he teases him with fart videos like he teases our heterosexual friends with those “shock” porn pics made me feel more… accepted.
But still… I was in the middle of an important exam so he had to stop.
And he obviously didn’t.
He sent me like 10 other links, just to annoy the sh%t out of me.
I mocked him by texting something like “Those videos are quite hard to find. Guess you’re gay too then!” but he would reply with “I had a great teacher!” and send me one of my awkward photos from Facebook.
Other times, since our friendship didn’t change a bit, he even made random references to my homosexuality or even my fart fetish when messaging me to make plans for the night (especially during the weekend). This mostly happens on WhatsApp:
Dave: “Dude, you have to come with us. Stop being a whiny little bi*ch and get up from that couch!”
Tim: “Sorry, man. I don’t think I’ll be joining you tonight…”
Dave: “You know what? If you don’t come with us… you’re gay!”
Dave: “Sorry, I mean… if you don’t come with us, you’re a fuc*ing heterosexual!
Dave: "U ride pussy, don’t you? Fuc*ing straight people!”
He was obviously being sarcastic, but I just loved how he adapted his… uhm… “humor” to my situation.
One time, however, things got a bit… hotter for me…
Dave: “Dude, come over. We have a lot to study…”
Tim: “Sorry, really can’t today. Aren’t you with Dana right now anyway?”
Dave: “I need somebody to focus with, not focus on. You know me and Dana always end up in bed after like 20 minutes.”
Dave: “It’s awesome but this stuff ain’t gonna study itself…”
Yep. Dave and his girlfriend Dana apparently had a very active sex life.
Glad he was getting laid. And Dana was pretty cool to be honest.
Tim: “Dave, sorry. Maybe tomorrow, k?”
Dave: “Dude! Come on! I’m farting like crazy today!”
Did… did he just try to “bribe” me using his farting abilities?
Dave: “Seriously. I just ripped one that was like 10 seconds long. What a waste of farts!”
Tim: “Dave… are you crazy?”
Took a couple of minutes to reply to that one, and then I got two messages at once.
Dave: “Oh yessss, Tim, crazy for youuuuuu!” he wrote, with a heart emoticon at the end (again, he’s a sassy bi*ch as usual).
I then saw that WhatsApp was loading a video sent by him, an actual video, not a link.
It was Dave, a smirk drawn on his face while staring at the camera. He was wearing a simple black shirt. The view soon moved and I saw his slightly sagging-butt in jeans sitting on a wooden chair, and then heard this big fart echoing in his living room (he was alone), rumbling loudly and hard on the wooden surface. He even turned the camera to his face while he was forcing the “classic”-sounding fart out, making funny facial expressions; indeed, the fart lasted almost 10 seconds, and I obviously loved that: biggest farts I’ve ever heard from him in awhile! It was like watching those funny fartvines on… well… Vine, but having my best friend as the funny/hot farter this time.
Dave: “Hope that convinced you…” he then texted.
I was kinda… “offended” by that last message.
I mean, yeah, I seriously wanted to be there, but I always love spending time with Dave, farts or not (that’s why we’ve been friends since… forever).
Tim: “Are you seriously using farts to buy my friendship? It’s not like I don’t want to study with you. I just can’t today!”
Was that too harsh? Should I have added a smiley face at the end?
Only thing I was sure of, is that I never thought that a sentence like that would even make sense someday.
And I was still bewildered by how Dave was so comfortable with the fact that I loved farts.
Tim: “You don’t need farts to convince me, Dave. More like… you’re making me suffer!” I joked, finally breaking the ice myself with a reference to my embarrassing fetish, proving that I indeed wanted to be there with him, enjoying those farts.
Another couple of minutes passed.
Was he making another…?
Dave: “I know you’re suffering, Tim. Don’t worry. That’s why I’m sending you this.”
Oh boy, another video. Should I play it? Was he aware that I was getting a boner from all of this?
I literally pitched a tent in my pants.
There… it’s Dave again, this time sitting on the couch. The video started with his face winking at the camera with a sly smile; the camera then moved between his legs and slowly panned towards his butt in loose jeans (he probably put his legs on the small table in front of his couch, to make his butt more visible). Now I had a rather unique (and hot -for me) view of both his butt (and part of his crotch) in jeans and his face. He grinned wildly and the fart began, ripped right in front of the phone. The sound and the views were perfect; Dave moved the camera towards his butt as the fart kept going strong, sounding like a deep trumpet; I could see the detailed blue fabric of his jeans as the funny sounds continued. What a lucky phone!
It lasted around 8 seconds and it was simply the hotness.
The video ended with Dave laughing at the camera and all went pitch black.
Tim: “You’re insane, Dave!” I joked again, enjoying how crazy he was about this. And for me I guess.
But I had to tell him.
Tim: “Dave, you do know that all of this gave me a… well…”
But as I was halfheartedly writing the second part of the message, Dave wrote more stuff.
Dave: “Then go beat your meat! I can’t do everything for you, Tim.”
Dave: “And please don’t act like this is some kind of big deal…
Dave: "Wow, Tim got a boner! How impressive!”
Dave: “Let’s all bow to Tim, the mighty guy whose penis can turn bigger!”
Dave: “Behold, the Great Tim! The guy who once had a boner and had to tell everyone!”
Further proof that Dave was being the best friend ever.
He was clearly being sarcastic; he was joking. That was his way of telling me “Nah bro, it’s all good”. And I was kinda surprised that he was so… chill about this stuff. I literally had a boner because of him and he just… didn’t care. As I said, he’s very open minded and perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality, so he didn’t have the irrational fear of “turning gay” when doing this stuff with and for me. I also appreciated that he trusted me with those funny, but otherwise embarrassing videos.
After one or two minutes, I’ve received one big audio file and I just knew what I was going to get when I clicked the triangular-shaped button to play them.
I heard Dave singing my name like he was some kind of serial killer trying to find me.
Dave: “Tim… come here…”
I then heard a series of muffled noises, as if the camera was being put under something, and it was clear what: I in fact then heard the loud, audio-glitching sound of one big fart that lasted around four seconds.
Dave: “He’s waiting for you…” he sung again in that creepy tone of voice.
Another fart, just as big as the first one.
He was on fire that day!
Now I was both laughing like an idiot and having the biggest boner.
Tim: “Dude, you’re on fire! But… to be honest, that was kinda gay…” I chuckled.
Dave: “Says the guy who gets a boner when he hears a fart. You fuc*ing hypocrite.”
He then sent yet another audio file, with him singing that meme-song “I’m gay, gay, gay, I love long big c*cks”, but slightly changing the lyrics. He even put a karaoke version of it on his computer while recording the audio file.
Dave: “You are gay, gay gay, you love long big farts. ‘cuz you’re supah-super gay, and you love big…”
Fittingly enough, a huge fart from my best friend took over the last part of the song. Loud as usual, sounding like a deep chainsaw. I could just imagine how beautiful that was. But the best part was probably the fact that he was definitely farting for me. I know, not your usual “hot sexy” scenario… more like a “sweet” one, in a very twisted way of course.
I wasn’t obviously offended by that “gay song”, since I knew that Dave was just being silly as usual and his mocking words were definitely not mean-spirited.
Tim: “Aren’t you supposed to be studying right now?” I asked.
Dave: “I don’t know, aren’t you supposed to be here right now?”
Tim: “Dude, seriously. Thank you! But I’m serious… I really can’t today.”
Dave: “Alright… alright… cya tonight faggot…” he wrote, with a heart-shaped emoticon at the end.
I just rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit, then drove my attention to my own books.
This was going to be a long afternoon. But after only one minute of silence, my phone vibrated wildly: it was Dave and he was calling me. Very unusual in that moment.
“Uhm… Dave? Hello?” I picked up.
I was greeted by a series of “Dude, sorry!” and I was really confused.
“Dave… what?”
It was just Dave being adorkable I guess.
“Dude, sorry about that 'faggot'… that was bit too much, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I laughed in disbelief. “Bro, it’s OK. I’m not offended. I know you didn’t want to insult me or anything…”
“No, Tim. That one word is not a joke and I shouldn’t have used it, sorry.”
I was just… wow. Dave went from “dominant friendly farter” to “adorable/awkward confused puppy” in mere seconds. Further proof that I was the luckiest guy alive (fetish or not): Dave cared so much for me that he even apologized for the “f-word”, which admittedly is a very bad word for a guy like me. But this time it was coming from Dave, my best friend, a guy who cares so much about me that he would even “censor” his language just to avoid unfortunate implications.
Ironically enough, the roles were switched, and he was the one saying a rapid-fire series of “sorry!” this time.
“Dave, quit with the apologizing. You’re the best.” I chuckled. “We’re bros, that’s what we do: we insult each other!”
“Alright… you sure? Not going to use that word ever again though.”
“Dave… it’s OK. You’re the best.”
“OK… OK. See you tonight. Take care.”
And he hang up.
He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t accidentally offend me by calling me a “fag”.
I would have been, if it wasn’t coming from Dave.
But then again, he also said that he was going to kick in the face whoever dared to insult me.
And he said that before he found out the truth about me: he’s always been quite protective.
“Oh come on!” I shouted, almost annoyed, merely five minutes later, when I heard the phone vibrate one more time.
It was Dave. Again.
He sent another video.
I tried to scoff at it but I was obviously loving all of this instead.
He was lying on the couch, the camera focusing on his butt in jeans. I could see both his face and butt, at the same time. It was like he filmed the video imagining my POV when he farted in my face, and I absolutely enjoyed that.
“Alright, Tim… Sorry for calling you a faggot.” he spoke in a “comically” serious voice. He truly was “sorry”, but it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. “I’m really, really sorry, believe me.”
Keeping a straight face, he ripped an incredibly loud, deep fart at the camera. He didn’t bat an eye, blink or smile. He eventually lost it towards the end of that 6-seconds long blast. He chuckled a bit and then turned “serious” again.
“That was a sad fart… we’re both sorry.”
He then closed his eyes and made a funny face, signing in relief as he ripped another long fart, the lucky camera slowly panning towards the seams and textures of the blue denim covering his powerful sagging butt. It lasted almost 10 seconds: truly a fart master. And those weren’t even on command!
“Oh my…” I whispered, staring in awe at the amazing video.
“This one was on the house…” he chuckled, right before turning the phone to his butt one last time and ripping a short series of toots, grinning wildly, clearly forcing those smaller farts out just for me. And that was it.
My boner was definitely wet now as bits of that well-known white substance poured from the tip of of my “standing” dick, slightly dampening my boxers and pants. It was like a volcano going to explode. A volcano that, just like me, couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed to the bathroom and furiously beat my meat, almost strangling my rock-hard penis with a firm grip. I didn’t last much: I literally peed sperm, thinking of Dave’s farts. The best part is that I didn’t need to imagine anything: it was all real. I laughed in relief just as I felt my penis deflating like a balloon, after it vomited its white substance. It felt good, not “masturbation good”, like “life is good”. And it was.
My best friend, Dave, was this fantastic guy who, in his own, twisted way, was taking care of me, accepting me, making me comfortable with my fart fetish. A gassy, open-minded, mildly disgusting “bro” who only wanted to preserve our friendship.
And I couldn’t be happier.
End of Episode 1
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Hi! First, i love your writing🥺 Now to the point. How about felix, sylvain and dimitri pinning after the female reader? We are basically yeeting ingrid and placing a fem reader instead😂 Like, they are childhood friends and the three of them have had a lovestruck for her since they were kids? And now they just end up fighting for her love or smth? Either hdcns or an scenario is fine! You can pick whichever you wish! However if you dont want to write this req please dont feel forced to! Love u🥺
Thank you so much!! 🖤 And yes, you got it! Bye Ingrid LMAO 😎😎 I write pre timeskip wayyy better so I’m gonna just say that reader is 18 (i don’t write NSFW or anything but age is still a thing lol) so that they’re in between the ages of Dimi + Felix & Sylvain and it works out, hope you don’t mind! I love you too anon 🥺
- Dimi is probably the first one to catch feels when they’re kids! Felix does too but he’s kinda just like wtf is this??? until someone teases him about it. Sylvain is quite ✨special✨ with romance but I think he’d be inclined to trust you a lot more because you’ve known him since you were teeny tiny before you even knew wtf a crest was! So he probably also catches feels when you’re kids but then he goes through his whole girl phase SIGH
- None of them realize their predicament until they all see you again at the officer’s academy together. I wouldn’t say they’re super obvious about it, but they’re teenagers (well Syl isn’t but shhhhh) who all like the same person so they’re going to pick up on each other’s crushes while reader remains ignorant. It’s not an issue that needs to be addressed immediately, but they’re all watching each other cautiously.
- Syl would have a massive head start on flirting with you, but he’s faced with the big issue that you don’t believe he’s being genuine and brush him off. Felix is constantly challenging you to duels to get close to you and also have alone time with you, although the other 2 will occasionally ruin his plans and insist on joining. Ah man bby Dimitri would probably come across as a little overbearing because he’s very protective of you and is constantly offering to do things for you. He’s just a mother hen that’s whipped for you and doesn’t know any other way to express it!
- When it comes to the 4 of you sitting together at lunch or in class, Sylvain is the worst. He’s very aware that his competition is far less bold than him, and so he’s making sure he’s always closest to you. Will squish as close to you as humanly possible HE WOULD DEADASS PUT YOU IN HIS LAP IF HE COULD 😭 If he puts a hand on your thigh or an arm around you it’s a wholeass declaration of war.
- Felix will likely become much more protective which may cause a lot of yelling at you for being careless or weak, but really he’s just so worried! To ease his mind, he’ll help you correct your mistakes himself (which has the added bonus of getting really close to you and occasionally lowkey holding hands when he adjusts your grip). Around other people, especially Dimitri and Sylvain he’ll be evidently sweeter to you to get the message across. A blended mix of jealousy and concern will make him very protective of you around the other two. Dimitri is not getting within 5 feet of you while guard dog Felix is around.
- In the Blue Lions the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife everyone is thoroughly confused but frankly just sick of it lol. Felix glaring at Dimitri? That’s totally normal but Dimitri is doing it back AND Sylvain is added to the weird stare off- wtf happened?? Byleth would have to talk to them after class and be like guys what in the goddess’s name happened 😭 They’ll all give a vague answer that doesn’t give away that it’s about you and each one of them has a jab at the others to shift the blame..please find your chill lads !
- At this point everything gets a little bit needier because they’ve all had this pent up yearning but have been blocked by the others. (If you’re ok with it) Sylvain will just randomly peck you on the cheek or your forehead when he sees you and you’re just like LOL ok ✨typical Sylvain✨ But when you sit next to him at lunch or in class he’s started very tenderly holding your hand under the table and you’re like huh ok that’s a little odd. If Dimitri is on the other side of you he will carefully take your other hand in retaliation. Felix will probably give in and do the same but he’ll snatch your hand a lot more aggressively and look away from you with a scowl and a blush.
- Dimi and Felix are both touch starved AF and would very much appreciate cuddles or any physical contact. If you’ve reacted positively to everything thus far, Dimitri will slowly start to bite the bullet and initiate affection because he wants it so bad. Any time you touch Dimitri, he gets sappy and lovey af and will express his adoration in hopes that you’ll keep giving him affection. Felix would never upfront ask for affection but he just kinda sits really close to you and glares at you with a little pout and you will have to realize that this is Felix language for ‘it is a crime that you aren’t cuddling me rn’.
- Obviously Sylvain gets lots of physical contact with women but I don’t ever see it as holding affection yknow?? Like yeah he spends a night or two with chicks after them crest babies™️ (i cannot take myself seriously this sentence is so funny-), but I don’t really think that they’ve done actual cuddling or casual displays of affection like petting someone’s hair because they likely don’t care too much for Sylvain and will just do the bare minimum. So in a way, Sylvain is also starved of affectionate touches and he would very much appreciate the little things that no one else has done for him. It’s new and scary for him to actually seek romantic attention, but he’s still pretty bold, just not very tactful when it comes to you lol. If you’re sitting by yourself on a bench he will not hesitate to sprawl himself out on top of you with his head in your lap and stare up at you with an innocent grin. Is also lowkey not embarrassed to whine or pester you?? His reputation is pretty hopeless at this point so what does he have to lose by sitting behind you in class and poking you while dramatically whining about you not paying attention to him?
- Attention is a huge deal to Sylvain. It’s one of the main things he’s looking for when he randomly flirts with people at the monastery. He can’t handle being ignored and that leads him to often seek many girls at once so that he always has attention when one is busy. But when it comes to you he finds himself in deep shit because once he’s gotten a little bit from you, everyone else seems minuscule and with others he only receives a mere fraction of the satisfaction he gets from being with you. So he’s gradually allotting more and more time to you until he hardly talks to any other girl. But Sylvain is used to being the one that everyone wants more of, so when he finds himself in the shoes of the smitten women that piss him off, he’s plagued by the worry that you’ll think he’s overly needy. So he comes to seek validation from you too. If he can just get you to comb your fingers through his hair or give him a kiss on the cheek then he can renew his confidence in trying to court you.
- Dimi is somewhat similar but for different reasons and in different ways. Dimitri has practically no experience with romance so he’s extremely smitten and has an overwhelming desire for the affection you give him that he’s never had. But he’s painfully aware of how extreme his feelings are in comparison to any other couples he may have seen at the monastery, and he’s terrified that he’ll scare you away if he expresses exactly how much he yearns for you. So Dimitri is always very visibly holding back much like he often holds back his strength. Dimi will do anything for you or with you, but you have to initiate it so he can be certain that he’s not smothering you. On days where he’s extremely lovey and never wants to let go of you (which is kind of often lol) he will constantly ask if you’re sure that he’s not bothering you. He is just so horrified at the thought of messing up whatever it is you have.
- Felix will be very easily overwhelmed by you, so it’s much better if you wait to cuddle up to him until you can both go to one of your rooms. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be touched, he does, but his feelings for you make him way too vulnerable for his liking, so he’s not going to want anyone else around. Felix is still Felix and he goes off to take out his feelings in the training grounds every free day, but has started occasionally coming to your room when he’s done for the day and receiving his required cuddle time away from prying eyes. He may have accidentally fallen asleep with you a couple times..
- You’ve probably snuck in to sleep in Dimi’s room on occasions when he’s dangerously sleep deprived. The man, the myth, the legend Dedue would definitely help sneak you in because he knows it does Dimi a lot of good. Dimitri is able to fall asleep with you practically on top of him in his grasp. Feeling your heartbeat close by and your hair beneath his head and hearing you breath peacefully is enough to ground him from his fear of losing you too. He’ll still have nightmares, trauma is a bitch, but when you’re there you can bring him back down and he’ll eventually be able to fall back to sleep (which he typically can’t do alone). It’s not a perfect night’s sleep, but it’s enough to keep Dimi functional and that’s what you’re there for. He’ll thank you a million times and unnecessarily apologize for the inconvenience, please do what you can to reassure him that he’s not a nuisance to you. 
- SIGH Sylvain, this god damn silly little goose, is extremely distressed by his feelings for you and even moreso by his developed neediness. It honestly kinda scares the shit out of him to realize he’s whipped for someone and at a loss for a way to ask you out. He’s used to having that power, to have someone’s feelings in the palm of his hand where he can do anything he wants. Genuinely trying to figure out how he would court someone is a frightening new thing for him and he’s suddenly on a playing field where he doesn’t have his experience or his power to shield himself with. So he reverts to his old ways to try to get a handle on his fear and have his confidence boosted back up. But of course, Syl still wants all the attention he can get from you so you so he spends all of the day with you, then does his other girl bullshit at night! It doesn’t go as smoothly as planned though..Sylvain is used to being yelled at by crying girls, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that he ignores them all day and drops by whenever he feels like it, and he ends up getting in some pretty nasty arguments that do not help his already vulnerable state. So it’s like 2 AM and Sylvain’s feeling like a sorry sack of potatoes and just wants to be held by someone and talk until falling asleep in their arms. And there’s only one person who Sylvain wouldn’t mind being open with and who could provide him genuine comfort..and you’re the lucky winner of the ‘Sylvain on your doorstep at 2 AM’ lottery!! Unless your sleep schedule is wack you’re gonna be all groggy like hey uhh wtf Syl??? And that is how the occasional nights that Sylvain falls asleep in your room happen!
- If the 3 of these scenarios interfere with each other ummmmmmmmm no they didn’t 😳
Ok! That’s where I’m leaving off because I don’t want to try to write endings with you picking one of them it just makes me kinda sad LMAO. Bro omg it’s the return of the ridiculously long Allister fics she do be goin a little insane though 😳 But for real I’ve been gradually adding to this for like?? a week? And I just kept picking cute relationship milestones or whatever in my walnut brain and writing a point for each of them so that the 3 of them are equally written. So it might not line up perfectly but I hope you like it!!
#fe3h dimitri x reader#fe dimitri x reader#dimitri x reader#sylvain x reader#fe3h sylvain x reader#fe3h felix x reader#felix hugo fraldarius x reader#fire emblem felix x reader#three houses reader insert#three houses x reader#fe3h x reader#fe3h reader insert#fe3h fanfic#fire emblem three houses x reader#fire emblem x reader#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#felix hugo fraldarius#sylvain jose gautier
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Junk of the Heart
this was inspired by this song and a personal experience that i could have only wished ended like this. side note: i thought kiri would b ideal for a first fic post bc........... i wuv him a lot nd i couldn’t get this scenario out of my head; everytime i hear this song i think of him singing it so there u go <3
paring: gn!reader x kirishima eijirou
band member au! so no quirks
genre: fluff
warnings: none, good ol ushy gushy self indulged romance
Word count: around 3.3k
You were surprised that exhaustion hadn’t taken over your body yet.
The day was a non-stop escapade of the mundane and the irregular; all in the same day, you went in and out of different big cities, to having afternoon coffee followed by going back to the apartment you were staying at to nap, to visiting a local rose garden, to drawing with chalk on the sidewalk of your friend’s house post potluck. You were only visiting for the weekend so your friends were going to make the most of it.
By the end of the night, you somehow found yourselves waiting in line on the side of a cozy neighborhood venue to try and get concert tickets to an already sold out show.
You didn't really know what was going on, not that you minded; the motto for the weekend was “go with the flow”. However, the spontaneity of randomly going to a concert where you don’t know who’s playing has peaked your interest. You’ve never done it before and once the idea had time to marinate in your mind, your heart was set on getting those tickets.
Waiting for 30 minutes for the tickets seemed like nothing until whispers of, “they’re not giving out any more tickets!” And “they’ve officially sold out!” came trickling down the line, causing your heart to falter.
Groups in front of you started leaving and your group moved to take their place. “Did you want to see if we could finesse our way in?” Said one friend. “Doesn’t it seem pointless, though?” Responded the other, yet your group remained in line. You didn’t want to leave, there was something in your gut telling you not to, but you were starting to doubt the probability of actually getting in.
Everything next happened in an instant.
Somehow, you and your friends managed to get up to the window selling the tickets and talk your way into getting in. It didn’t seem like a miracle more along the lines of sheer dumb luck, they just happened to find more tickets- but you didn’t dwell too much on it, you were already inside enjoying the vibrations of the live music moving through you.
Lights were reflecting off of a giant disco ball, bouncing in every which direction, exposing random people in the crowd. The lights on stage only added to the different colors brightening the dark expanse. Bodies swayed close together as the next song started calmly.
You had been off to the side, waiting for your closest friend to come back with the drinks she offered when you guys were first greeted by the bass and guitar. The rest of your friends had gotten lost in the crowd, but you didn’t mind. The scene you were taking in felt surreal. You had never seen complete strangers come together in a way that it made it seem like they’ve known each other for years because of good music.
As your friend made her way through the crowd with two cups in hand when the band announced that it was going to be their last song for the night. You looked up at the members on stage; you had been paying so much attention to the experience as a whole that you hadn’t even seen the band actually playing.
The first person that caught and kept your attention was the man in center stage. Bright red spikey hair with ruby red eyes to match, and a toothy grin. A white electric guitar with a red strap hung on his sizable shoulders. He looked like the physical version of the music he was playing; a plain black fitted t-shirt tucked into his loose blue jeans with holes in the knees. His black converse seemed worn out, like they’ve been on so many adventures, this night on stage being one of them.
You tried to look at the other members but your gaze always shifted back to him.
Now with a sweet alcoholic beverage in your hand, you were pulled to the barricade by your very persistent friend. You heard her say something along the lines of, “you look like you’ve witnessed a miracle! We need to get closer!”
Nobody seemed to mind your friend’s pushiness to the front, everyone there was just enjoying the show had to offer.
“Before we get on with our last song of the night,” the red head chuckled at the immediate chant of boo’s that rang out, “we figured we ought to introduce ourselves!” His smile showered over everyone in the crowd. He leaned into the mic stand as his big hand loosely covered the secured mic, “in the back, and away from people where he should be,” a melodic laugh rang out as he looked to his annoyed band mate, “is our drummer, Bakugo Katsuki!” The audience was greeted by an eye roll and a curt wave and gave back an applause. “Next we have our all talented bassist, Jirou Kyouka!” She ran her pick over the strings, you felt the vibrations through your whole body and decided to let out a laugh, joining the others in letting out a loud “wooop!”.
“And on the keyboard, we have the electrifying Kaminari Denk!” A wink and finger guns were shot out and in response, a few girly giggles could be heard throughout the cheering room as well as a few squeals. Kaminari threw his head back and put his hand over his heart.
“And me? I’m Kirishima Eijiro on guitar!” You could hear the swarm of girls that cheered overpowering the crowd as well as thunderous hollers from a few guys,
‘Pretty popular,’ you thought, taking a sip of your drink. Of course he was popular. His smile was contagious, full and bright. You could see the happiness illuminating his eyes, the crinkles by the corner of his eyes showed he truly couldn’t be more content than in this moment.
Bakugo spun his drumsticks and began playing a beat as Kirishima began to talk,“ We had a fuck ton of fun tonight, thank you for having us. We hope you give the same amount of love to the band that hops on the stage next.” he said, the smile never leaving his face. He adjusted the ear piece before finishing with, “But as for us, this song is called Junk of the Heart, let’s go Bakugo!” And just like that, they dove into the song. Kirishima began strumming to Bakugo’s already given beat.
As Kaminari hit the keyboard, the stage lights changed drastically. All of a sudden there was no color on stage or bouncing off the walls, beams of golden light shot out from behind them, giving them the look of angels. The space got significantly darker; you had no choice but to look at the band in front of you.
Backlit and beautiful, it was as if you were actually hearing them for the first time.
“See I notice nothing makes you shatter, no no,
You’re a lover of the wild and a joker of the heart,” Kirishima looked out onto the faces that were close enough to see. He loved seeing how invested people got- to see how music can bring people together and create a bond. It made him feel like he was at the top of the world.
You thought to yourself as you watched him sing into the mic, “He looked so god like, it was ironic that you were looking up at him.”- that was until your gaze was met with his. He stopped the wandering gaze; it seemed as though his eyes got bigger than before, which didn’t seem possible. His eyes were already so round and curious, but making eye contact with you brought a different kind of wideness.
When he sang, “But are you mine?” it seemed like he was asking you.
“I wanna make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive.”
Your body and your mind felt disconnected. You couldn’t decode any messages that were being played through your head, all you could feel was the beat of the bass match up with your heart.
“I wanna make you happy
If you’re a good girl tonight.” He sang to you before looking back at the rest of the crowd. It looked like he had just broke out of a spell.
“Y/n? Y/N? Was he looking at you?? Do you know him?!” Your friend's voice came into light.
And for the first time in the whole day, when the trip’s motto pushed itself into your head, you waved it aside.
You looked at your friend with a determined smile before leaning into her and yelling out over the music, “No, I don’t know him but I sure want to. After the song, I’m going to make it so there’s no way he could possibly forget the girl in the crowd.”
Your friend, stunned at your decisiveness but loyal, slowly began to nod. She reached for your hand and wrapped your pinky in hers, then slowly got back into the groove of the song by spinning you around.
“Let me make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive at night,” Kirishima sang on, grin growing as his eyes wandered back to the spot you were in. Something warm bubbled in his chest.
‘I want to dance with them’ was the first thing he thought when he saw you smiling in the dim lighting, hips swaying with hands in the air, and not a care to be found.
Finishing off the song, the lights faded to black for a second before the room became a tad brighter yet still dark enough to leave the haze of the concert euphoria just a little longer.
Kirishima bolted. At the speed of light, he handed his guitar to a snickering Denki before navigating his way through the maze of the backstage and into the crowd. So many heads to look over and so many gazes to catch, but when he caught yours, everything simply melted away. Time didn’t stand still, yet making his way over to you seemed like it was one of the easiest things that he could do.
“I’m sorry but I really need to hear you say something,” Kirishima said loud enough when he approached you, trying to ignore the intense gaze of the person standing next to you.
You didn’t really know how to respond- to you, everything happened so quickly. You could only tilt your head in response, to which you felt a jab in your ribs.
“Please just say my name. Not Kirishima but please call me by my first name in the next sentence that leaves your lips.” He said with a hint of desperation. It was almost like he was hoping your voice was a song he could listen to on repeat- that your voice was something he could eventually turn into a song.
You took a slow deep breath and let it out, there was a self-put urgency to have the next sentence you say mean something.
“I feel like…” you began to say, and paused when you saw his features change to something you couldn’t quite describe, “... watching you perform on stage is something I could do… more often… Eijirou.”
Something made his eyes twinkle. Maybe it was a trick of the light or maybe you just imagined it, but it made your heart race just a bit faster. When would it reach the finish line?
He let out a breath you didn’t notice he was holding; his chest slightly contracted.
“Just as I thought, your voice is beautiful a-and so are you.” He sighed. “Can we step outside for a second? I promise you it will only be a second. It would be rude for me to take you away from your friend for the rest of the night.” He smiled at your friend for a second. You were a bit stunned; first, the compliment that tugged at your heart a little too hard and now the decency to respect that you came here with your friends. A true kind hearted man.
It took you a second to reply but before an answer could even leave your lips, your friend yanked you towards them. Kirishima’s ever wide eyes grew again but showed no signs of leaving.
“Listen, this is all up to you,” your friend whisper-shouted excitedly in your ear. With impeccable timing, live music started playing.
“Anyway, what I was saying was,” your friend stated a little bit louder so you could hear her over the music, “it’s your choice! If you feel comfortable with hanging out with this dude for the night, do it! This is your trip, do what you want and have fun. Regardless, you know where we are and where we’re staying. Just text me and let me know.” She pulled away, waiting for your response. You smiled and mouthed, ‘I’m gonna go’. She showed her delight by pulling you in and leaving with the final note of, “stay safe,” before disappearing into the mass of bodies, probably to go look for your other friends.
You turned to Kirishima before taking his forearm, noting that it was one of the fittest ones you’ve ever laid hands on, and headed out of the venue.
The temperature drop was a bit of a shock but you held your composure as a wave of goosebumps washed over your body.
You spun around to face the guitarist, only to be greeted with a shyer version of him. It seemed his sheet of confidence went hand in hand with the warmth from inside. As soon as he stepped out, it was instantly ripped away by the cold.
“I- um, well.. may I ask for your name?” He stuttered out, realization hitting you that you never even said your name. You felt your cheeks grow hot before stepping closer to him and whispering your name then taking another step towards him. The nippy air seemed to have the complete opposite effect on you.
At this point, your chest lightly brushed up against his as you looked up at him; his gaze fidgety while yours is sturdy but kind- set eyes flickering from his ruby reds to his plush pink lips.
You chose not to question your boldness as you pushed yourself up to the tips of your toes.
He had approached you with such determination, you might as well match his energy.
With your chest fully pressing into him now, you carefully watched his reaction to see if there were any signs of discomfort before slowly draping your arms around his neck. Even on your toes, he was still a head taller than you.
“Kirishima, what is it that you wanted me to come outside for that you couldn’t do inside?” The teasing whisper dripped from your lips.
It was as if he was visualizing the words you were saying, his sight trained on how your lips moved.
“Can I kiss you?” He matched your whisper, his head already slightly dipping in to ghost his soft lips over yours while his large palms fell to your hips, invoking a ripple of heat to coarse through your body.
It was up to you, the fate of the evening was in your hands. Whatever you wanted to do, Kirishima would do as long as he was with you.
“You can…” you began as you moved to play with his surprisingly soft hair, “walk me to where I’m staying, and maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll let you.” You innocently giggled as you slowly lowered yourself against his broad chest and pulled away completely.
Kirishima’s dazed expression stayed only for a second before he slightly shook himself out of it, a renewed shade of red dusted on his cheeks.
Another giggle escaped from you before whipping out your phone and texting your friend about the newly made plan; red eyes plastered on you and following your every move.
You slid your phone into your back pocket and scooped up Eijirou’s hand, relishing the size difference, and started walking.
The walk held the best kind of conversation: the kind that consisted of everything and nothing at all. You two were taking your time, walking around local parks and goofing off by performing air guitar and dancing around to no music. He talked about how his band started and how he discovered his love for making music. You talked about how you were visiting your friends because they moved away for college and you couldn’t bear to not see them for another few months. At that you saw his open figure slightly deflate.
“So you don’t live around here?” He muttered, unconsciously gripping the energy of the lighthearted conversation downwards, but you stopped it before it could get to the point of no return.
“I’m transferring here.” You said with a promising smile, Kirishima returned the action with a full blown grin. The topic took a turn for the happier as you two chatted about random thoughts and valid opinions.
Inevitably, the time came where it was you two standing in front of your door, spare key in hand with the outside light illuminating the mirroring soft expressions. You stepped closer, recreating the exact actions you did in front of the venue, and this time when he asked to kiss you, your response was nonverbal. You took his lips with yours at first with a peck. The delicate sound of you pulling away only lead to a deeper kiss, one that made his planted palms uproot and wrap you up entirely in his embrace. Your tongue danced with his; The closeness and warmth had you sighing against his mouth. You slightly pulled away, watching a thin trail of saliva leave you two connected before leaning back in for another peck. To that, he loosened his hold without actually letting go.
“Can I see you before you go back?” Kirishima’s voice was breathy and low, a really good combination for him.
“Give me your number and we’ll see.” You replied, trying to compose yourself. He chuckled before fishing out your phone from your back pocket, giving your ass a little squeeze in the process. A squeak instinctively left you as you watched a smirk form at the corner of his lips. You refused to look at Kirishima as you put your thumb on the home button to unlock it, your cheeks were too red.
He added his contact with a red heart next to it, ‘ironic’ you thought.
The goodbye was drawn out; a lot of lazy pushing away and pulling back in, in addition to feverish kisses and roaming hands, but that all came to an end when you finally pushed the key into the lock and twisted it open before quickly shutting it, leaving Eijirou outside begging you to come back out.
“No because soon enough I won’t be able to resist you and I’m going to tell you to come inside and stay the night- which would not be cool to my friends,” you laugh as you hear a huff on the other side of the door.
“You’re right… and I really want your friends to like me…” he trailed off, letting you ponder what he meant for a second.
“Okay can you just open the door one more time please?” So you did. You were greeted by a sweet and soft kiss, reminding you of a dessert that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
“Goodnight Eijirou.” You whisper before closing the door gently.
Replaying the gushy romantic events that took place that night, you took it upon yourself to text him to write a song about you- playfully of course. The charming red cherry on top of a perfect Hallmark-movie-type of night.
He ended up taking it seriously,
and performed it at the next live show you went to, a few months after you transferred.
And it was that night, when he bounded through the crowd to find you yet again-
instead of asking to hear your voice, he asked to hear your answer on being his romantic partner.
#fawn daydreams <3#kirishima x y/n#kirishima x you#kirishima eijiro fluff#kirishima eijiro x reader#kirishima eijirou#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha kirishima#mha#mha kirishima#mha x you#gn!reader#hot chocolate ♥︎
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Valentine's Day | Raul Mendes
"When you think you're going to be alone on Valentine's Day, your friend with benefits simply shows up and takes you away on a surprise road trip, the only problem is that you and Raul swore that no feelings were allowed, and it gets harder every second that passes by to keep that promise"
Shawn | Peter
*I'm so incredibly sorry I took so long to finish this, but here it is, the last part of the Valentine's Day triplets "collection/series", hope you enjoy it!
*Word Count: 7.3K+
*Warnings: cursing, a lil bit of angst, haunted house content and clowns (just in case).
*Posted: February 24th, 2020.
-*-
The “v” day. I think I can say that for most people I know, or you’re so excited to spend it with your loved one or mostly bitter cause you’re so single it hurts/ dreaming about the perfect day, there are obviously exceptions, but this are pretty accurate. I’m pretty much in the second category. I had flings and untitled relationships before, but never had the chance to actually do all of those cliche things, like go on a fancy dinner or have a chill date at home on sweats and fuzzy socks, never got flowers at school/work, cute messages and chocolates. I didn’t even wanted expensive gifts and flash mobs on Times Square, just wanted to feel loved and cared for by someone that’s not my parents and friends. And this is year it’s not going to be different.
I’m technically single, I just have a fuck buddy and he’s not taking me out on a romantic stride through the park. I mean, Raul’s not that type of guy, at least didn’t show me any signs. We met through Peter since I’ve been working on the same place as him for a few years now and since then we had an agreement, no feelings allowed, only sex. He works a lot and all the time he has, he likes to dedicate to his family, for me was awesome for the same reason, I focused so much on studying and working that I had no time left for a serious relationship, so this seemed perfect at the time. The only problem was the “no feelings allowed rules”, I fucked that up pretty badly.
At the beginning wasn’t hard, we would meet at his place or mine, have sex and the other would leave as soon as possible, and it was great, he might seem as a cold person but he’s a really great lover. The problem started when he came to my place at a particular hard day at work and I insisted on him opening up, that I was there for him. We ended up not doing nothing besides cuddling and he stood the night, and from that things changed drastically. He started asking me to stay the night, we would randomly go out to eat and we would talk a lot. Raul understood where I was and so did I, he tended on shutting people out cause he didn’t want so seem fragile but deep down he’s softer than Peter, he just showed that rarely and to his family, the reason? Trusted and loved the wrong person, and I wasn’t very far from that.
The problem? I fell for him and he didn’t. Not that I asked or anything, I just knew, he would always shut me off when we got too close and he kept saying that this situations between us was perfect the way it is, and he’s really grateful that he has me on his life and that understand his needs. So yeah, not admitting that I actually do have feelings for him and screw this up, I’d rather have him like this than not at all. That’s why I’m sitting on my living room one day before valentine’s day, considering leaving tomorrow after work to my grandparent’s ranch or the beach. That’s why I almost had a stroke when my phone started ringing, Raul’s name lighting up the screen.
“Uh, hey... everything okay?”
“Oh, hey, darling, are you busy?”
“Not really” I said scrolling down the site for plane tickets just in case I wanted to go somewhere else “I just wasn’t expect any calls”
“Oh, sorry, what’re doing tomorrow?” he asked and my heart dropped.
“Tomorrow?! Nothing?! Normal Friday stuff, maybe go away for the weekend, why?”
“It’s valentine’s day!”
“I know, that’s why I’m leaving” I said chuckling.
“Oh... do you have anything planned specifically or bought?”
“Like plane tickets?”
“Yeah”
“No, I’m going through options right now, any suggestions?”
“I actually do”
“Oh, okay, I’m listening”
“Why don’t you come with me on a trip?”
“Hm... what?”
“Oh, come on, I know you hate this day and probably will be stressing yourself if you stay at your home alone” he said and suddenly U couldn’t breath.
I told Raul once that I didn’t like this date in particular, too many expectations were broken on this day, spent a lot of v-days crying or moody cause some stupid boy didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t expect him to care enough to remember.
“What are you talking about, Raul?”
“I... do you want to go with me on a road trip?”
“Don’t you have shifts to cover or things to do?”
“No, got my schedule clear in caw you wanted to go out with me”
“Oh... but I...”
“You’re the boss on your section” he said cutting me out “and I talked to Peter, he’s going to cover for you”
“Hm... I...”
“Stop trying to find excuses, princess, c’mon, let me take you on an adventure”
“An adventure?”
“Yeah, what do you say about camping? You told me you never camped before”
“Oh, you remember?”
“Of course... so, what do you say?”
“Okay, I guess I don’t have a choice”
“Mhmmm, you’re right, so... can I pick you up at seven?”
“When are we coming back?”
“Sunday after lunch”
“Okay, okay, seven it is”
“Great! I gotta go now, but I’ll pick you up tomorrow”
“Do I need to take something specific?”
“Oh, yeah, it gets cold, but we’re staying in a cabin, so it’s not going to be that bad and I’ll be there, ooh, and please don’t forget that pretty lace baby blue set you bought last Sunday, I assure you you’re not going to regret it”
“Fuck you” I said chuckling and he giggled.
“I gotta go now, princess, text me if you need help with anything”
“Okay, bye, Raul”
“Bye, baby” he said hanging up.
Baby?! What was that?
-*-
I swear that I tried to keep calm and not read too much into it, but it was impossible. Why did he invited me out on Valentine’s day? How he remembers that stuff I told him?! Why does he care?! It’s impossible not to feel anything.
I couldn’t sleep at all, I spent the whole night playing possible scenarios in my head and checking every single thing that was on my bag. When the alarm rang in the morning, I felt like I was about to die, out of excitement or out of lack of sleep. But I got up and started getting ready for the day, I opted for almost no makeup, hair in a messy bun and comfy clothes that still looked cute, just in case. At seven I was already on the lobby of my building waiting for him, and when I saw his jeep parking right in front I almost died. Raul got out of the car and waved at me, so I walked to him, only to be squeezed in his huge arms in a bear hug.
“Happy valentine’s day” he said in a playful tone.
“Haha, very funny, mister cupid”
“What?”
“Well, you helped both of your brothers on V day”
“Oh yeah, true, so... excited?”
“Yep”
“Great, so am I, can we start this weekend?”
“Sure” I said and he kissed my cheek softly, leaning down and grabbing my small suitcase from me and putting it on his trunk, walking to the passenger’s door and opening it for me.
My heart stopped when I saw a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers on the seat and I froze.
“You told me you liked sunflowers” he mumbled with his hand gently placed on my lower back.
“I did” I said barely louder than a whisper and looked up at him “why?”
“You said you never... you’ve never received flowers before... and I thought maybe you’d like it” he said looking away and scratching the back of his neck with his free hand, a slight blush raising up his cheek.
“I liked it, just didn’t expect it” I said and he looked down at me, I stepped on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.
He pressed me tighter against his chest and wrapped the arm that was already on me around my middle, keeping me close to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support as he deepened the kiss a bit more.
“Good morning” he said in a deeper voice and with a smirk laced on his features, but his eyes were still soft.
“Morning” I said chuckling “can I get in the car?”
“Oh, sure” he said giggling and letting go of me.
I hopped on his car as he went to get in on his side, quickly leaving his spot and driving to I don’t know where. He started driving away and turned up the radio, humming to the song lightly and placing his hand on my thigh. Right there, I felt my heart on my throat and I couldn’t breath for a second. He can’t do that and expect me not to fall for him, I mean, that’s fucking impossible, how could you not?
An hour later, he stopped at a diner in the middle of the road and got out of the car, and I was so distracted, lost on my own thoughts, that I didn’t notice him coming by my side and opening the door for me. He chuckled at my wide eyes and little shocked noise while he helped me out. He picked a table at the corner of the place and sat down beside me.
“So... what is your kidnapping plan?”
“Well... I though that we should have breakfast first and I love the food in here”
“Great start” I said and he giggled.
“Thanks, princess, then we’ll go to the campsite for you to get to know the place and get settled in our cabin, and then... well, it is supposed to be a surprise”
“More surprises?”
“Do you want me to ruin it?”
“I... yeah?” I answered and he chuckled.
“I’m taking you to a carnival that’s near the place we’re staying... you also said you missed this kind of things”
“If I didn’t know you, I’d say you’re after my heart, Mendes”
“I might be” he said winking at me and giggling.
Poor thing, didn’t even know that his sort of joke almost killed me every single time.
-*-
Around 1 pm we decided it was time to go, after all I was starving, we’ve been walking since we got here. The place was breathtaking, there were so many beautiful views, but nothing will beat the lake that’s actually kinda close to our cabin, that’s absolutely adorable. It really seems like a dream come true. We spent a lot of time talking and he told me he’s so happy that his brothers are finally in a relationship that’s healthy and apparently going to last a long time, but he said he also felt kind of empty, since even his baby sister had a boyfriend. Quickly we changed the subject cause it was getting a little bit emotional, I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with his soft and fragile side without saying how I feel, so I’d rather avoid it, even though it seems kind of selfish.
The ride was not too long and very pleasant. Raul knows how to have a good time and he also makes sure everyone around him, at least that he cares about, feel the same way. He parked perfectly and smoothly, and when I hoped out of the car, he had a cocky grin on his face that he just justified as ‘you looked amazed by parking skills’ and I decided not to say the opposite to avoid a fight. He can be very competitive in everything. He bought our tickets and we got in, practically sprinting to find something to eat, at least I was starving.
After a whole bunch of food and his predictable not so funny jokes, we finally started taking a look around to decide where we would go first. We decided to go to the craziest rides first so we wouldn’t get the worst lines since people were eating or didn’t arrive yet. After that, I decided I wanted to get a henna tattoo on my forearm like I did so many times as a kid. Raul was patiently sitting beside me with his tattooed arms showing and attracting many curious looks from kids and other type of curious from some giggling teenage girls and even grown up women.
“Hi” the little voice sounded from behind us and we turned around to see a little girl standing there, holding a backpack.
“Hey, are you lost?”
“No, sir, mommy’s right there” she pointing to a woman standing beside the line on her phone.
“Okay... how can I help you, missy?” he asked with the softest look on his face.
“Did you got all of those with her?” she asked pointing to the girl that was currently drawing on my skin.
“I did not, these are from a few months ago”
“But why don’t they have any color?”
“I think they were out of ink” Raul said and the girl seemed to be thinking about the possibility.
“Can I make them prettier?”
“Of course, how’d you do it?”
“I have some markers, can I paint them?”
“Yes!” he said offering his right arm to her and she grinned big, showing of her missing tooth right in the middle.
She grabbed in her little backpack a pencil case and revealed more than what seemed like a thousand markers, so she started going through the colors and picking a bright pink one, starting to fill Raul’s tattoos with the girly shade. Raul has a beautiful smile gracing his features as he looked so intently at her artwork, her little tongue poking out between her lips in concentration, the scene was absolutely adorable, so cute it was starting to hurt physically.
“Is the pretty girl your girlfriend?” she asked as she was picking out another shade.
“Her?” he asked pointing at me with his free hand.
“Yes, is she your princess?”
“She is, she’s my girl” Raul said as he looked at me, making me blush furiously.
“Helen! What are you doing?? I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry” the woman the little girl pointed earlier as her mom got closer and grabbed her backpack.
“It’s okay, she said she could make them prettier, I really don’t mind” Raul said smiling at Helen and she smiled at him.
“They are prettier, right?” Helen said.
“They are so much better, thank you, Helen” Raul said.
“Thank you, and I’m sorry” Her mom said holding her tiny hand “we gotta go now, your dad is waiting, say thank you to the couple and say goodbye”
“Thank you, princess, thank you...”
“Raul” he said smiling at her.
“Thank you Raul, bye bye” she said waving.
“Bye” I said smiling.
“Thank you again, and I’m sorry, have a nice day” her mom said and walked away with her.
“She’s cute”
“She is”
“You do this a lot?”
“What?”
“Let random kids draw in your arms?” I asked playfully.
“Actually I do”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sometimes at the hospital, when they’re too sad I kinda feel like I should do anything to help, you know? I mean, it sucks for us to be there, now imagine for a little kid”
“That’s actually really sweet, but I should’ve guessed it”
“Why?”
“Remember when I asked you if you could see my friend’s son? Julia’s son?”
“Wait... yeah, Lucas right?”
“Mhmmm, let’s say you made a good impression and not only by your looks”
“So you’re saying I’m attractive?”
“I wasn’t... but I also can’t deny, anyway...”
“Why are you blushing?” he asked with a boyish smirk.
“Am not”
“Yes you are! You look so red it seems like you’re ‘bout to explode”
“Fuck you!”
“Language, princess, there are kids nearby”
“Anyway! As I was saying... she couldn’t shut up about how good you were with her son, how dedicated and sweet, and she was also drooling over your appearance”
“I wouldn’t blame her” he said winking at me.
“Your charm doesn’t work on me”
“I doubt that” he said leaning closer to me slowly, eyes trailed on my lips.
“You shouldn’t, I’m imune to you and your tricks”
“That’s a lie” he said lower and I could literally feel his breath on my lips.
“It’s not”
“Oh it is, princess, and I can prove it to you” he said brushing our lips together.
“All done here” the girl drawing on my skin said stopping me from giving in.
“Thanks” I said getting up and checking her drawing.
It was a beautiful drawing of a Lily, my grandfather’s favorite flower.
“Hey! I love lilies” okay, I wasn’t expecting Raul saying that.
“So does grandpa”
“Cute” he said placing a strand of hair that fell form my bun behind my ear “ and oh... by the way, I’ll prove it to you later” he said before placing a quick kiss on the spot behind my ear that always made me weak on the knees for him “we should get some ice cream or something, at least it’s dried, don’t want to ruin her artwork”
“You’re probably right” I said cleaning my throat.
“Would you ever get a real one?”
“What? A tattoo? I’ve wanted one for a while but never got the guts to do it”
“I can take you if you want”
“Really?”
“Yeah... how about next weekend?”
“Yeah, I can do that”
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to have a tattoo, can’t wait to see that, princess” he said wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
-*-
We spent pretty much the whole day going to those attractions and I have to be honest, I was having the time of my life. He’s been treating me like a princess and doing all of these cheesy couple-ish things, and even though that’s all I’ve been dreaming of recently, this is also making me feel like we could be more than what we are, but I also have to keep in mind that this isn’t happening and I could almost feel my heart breaking. He’s just so sweet and so funny, and this feels like a date all the time, even though I know this is just so I don’t feel miserable, but at the same time... Ugh, I don’t know, this is just confusing.
Currently we were sitting by a food truck eating ice cream, and I couldn’t stop myself from watching all of his features closely, letting the imagine sink on my brain. He looked so soft with a pink and baby blue ice cream cone as the sunset light his his face on the right places, making me feel something fluttering inside of me. We were talking about the most random topics possible, but he was cut mid sentence and I just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue.
“Everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah... it’s just that there’s something in your face”
“Oh” I said rubbing my cheek “there?”
“No, let me just...” the phrase trailed it off as got closer and tried to wipe my face with his thumb, and I swear my breath got caught in my throat. His thumb gently whipped my face and he sucked it clean, and I simply couldn’t stop starring “there you go”
“Thank you” I mumbled softly still too caught up on his hazel eyes.
“What do you want to do now?”
“Haunted house?” was the first thing that popped in my mind that wasn’t too flirtatious.
“How old are you? Three?!”
“No, just think it’s a fun thing to do”
“You can go, I’ll wait here”
“Are you scared, Mendes?”
“No, just don’t like it”
“Why?”
“I just don’t see the hype on it”
“It’s pretty cool, c’mon”
“Fine, only if our last attraction is the ferris wheel”
“Really?” I asked biting my lower lip.
“What? Afraid of heights, princess?”
Not really, just scared of being completely heartbroken on valentine’s day.
“Naaah, you’re the one scared here’s thought you’re tough, Raul”
“I am” He said straightening his posture to seem bigger than he already is.
“Cut the act, if you’re not afraid of it you’re going with me”
“Fine, but you’ll come with me to the ferris wheel then”
“Okay, deal, now let’s go” I said getting up and grabbing his arm.
“What? Now?”
“Yeah, you promised me marshmallows and a campfire”
“Okay, let’s do it then” he said getting up as well and grabbing my hand.
We went to the line that wasn’t really that big and from the corner of my eye I saw Raul bouncing on his feet. It was pretty hilarious seeing a guy this big, who dealt with a lot worse situations on a hospital as pediatric surgeon, with a bunch of tattoos (a few colored with pink ink by Helen) and piercings, nervous about a hunted house made for teens.
“Raul... if you don’t want to go... it’s”
“I’m going” he said cutting me off and looking at me.
“Okay, okay, good, cause we’re next”
He took a deep breath and pulled me into the house. It was a classic hunted house at the beginning, with some stuff jumping at us and screaming, it was fine. But as we got deeper into the space, things started getting a little bit scarier. It was no longer machines, but people with really great makeup on actually starting to follow us around, making us actually run through the rooms like our life’s actually depended on it. I was actually having fun, giggling through the process until one of the last rooms. We got in and it was all dark, with only one light in the middle of the room that was pretty low. I could hear water running somewhere and there were a bunch of piles that I couldn’t recognize, and that was all the noise and shapes I could actually see.
“What do you think this is?” I whispered to Raul who was standing behind me with one of his hands on my waist.
“I don’t know, princess, but it’s oddly familiar” he said pulling me closer to him.
“Yeah, I think it’s from...” my sentence was cut in half as that song started playing and the light lit up enough to see a pile of ‘bodies’ laying around.
It was the classical scene from ‘It’ in the swell. When I looked to one of the corners, there he was, someone dressed as Pennywise smiling wickedly at us and I felt my heart stop. When I was younger, I was so damn afraid of clowns, but as I grew older, I thought that fear was gone, I haven’t been scared for ages and I don’t what it was, but this was the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. I guess Raul sensed that I wasn’t okay and grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the house before anything could happen. He gently sat me down on a bench that was behind the house and offered me his water bottle, that I gladly took and chugged it down.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly as he crouched down to be on my eye level.
“Yeah, just got a little...”
“I know” he said holding my hand and kissing my knuckles.
“I’m better now”
“Sure?” he asked and I just nodded “wanna go see if we can get a huge teddy bear?”
“Why?”
“It’s valentine’s day, princess, I think you deserve it”
“Okay, then” I said smiling and getting up.
Raul took the opportunity to place his hand on my lower back, slowly trailing down to end up on my back pocket, giving me the opportunity to stop him. That’s one of the things that always makes my heart beat a little faster. He’s known for his one nights stands and temper, but very few people know he’s actually a really selfless lover and always makes sure the other is extremely comfortable with everything that’s going on, and he can also be extremely sweet if he wants too. And that’s the problem, he rarely shows this side of his to people, so that’s why no one knows what he’s really like.
We went to a tent where we had to drop as many cans as possible to reach to the huge bear, with ping pong balls. The guy said we could make a pair and try it, but no one got the teddy bear yet. I think Raul felt challenged and said we could do it without blinking, he payed and turned to me, placing the bucket with balls in front of us. The guy started the timer and we started shooting as much as we could, throwing three balls at once and it was simply impossible to drop on of the cans specifically, even though we hit it a bunch of times. The guy announced time was off and that we didn’t make it, with a cocky grin on his face.
“There’s something wrong with that can, we shot it a million times, you’re fooling everyone” Raul said.
“Sorry you couldn’t impress your date, maybe you should find someone who could actually drop a few cans”
“I could if you didn’t glue it or something, and she’s not a date, she’s my girl” he said playing with his rings, which meant he was nervous.
“Yeah? Prove it, pretty boy”
“Look...” Raul started saying but I placed my hands gently on his chest and his voice died on his throat.
“Let me just see if I get it” I said turning my head to the guy from the tent and batting my lashes at him “all I have to do is drop all the cans with the bucket we gave to us, right?”
“If you want the teddy bear, then that’s it, but you can pick the prize from the last round”
“Okay, can I play again and then pick the prizes?” I asked as sweetly as I could.
“Sure, ma’am”
“We’re not going to play again” Raul said looking straight at the dude.
“Please” I asked turning my face to him and rubbing his chest gently “just trust me” I asked pouting and he sighed, nodding.
“Fine”
I smiled at him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, making him grin.
“Ready?” I asked Raul as we got back to our places and he nodded “go!”
We started throwing everything again and dropping all of them again, and as I imagined, the same can didn’t seem to even move even though we kept throwing all the balls on it. I suddenly grabbed the metal bucket and threw everything and was on it on the floor, throwing the bucket itself and finally dropping the last can. I turned to both of them smiling widely and they stared at me in shock, Raul’s face quickly turning into a boyish grin and the guy seemed angry.
“That’s not valid, I said...”
“You said that I had to drop all the cans only with the material you provided me, I’m pretty sure you gave me the fucking bear and that cute set of pillow of ‘Mr. Right’ and ‘Mrs. Always Right’”
“No fucking way, you can’t...” the guy started but Raul grabbed him by the colar.
“Give her what she asked for, you’re the little shit here who cheated on the first place, now, the fucking bear” Raul said in a raspy voice that almost had me and the guy both fainting, but for very different reasons.
“Okay” he said grabbing both of the requested items and giving it to us.
“Ferris wheel?”
“Do we really need to go?”
“Yeah, I went to that haunted thing, you’re coming with me”
“Fine” I said and went to wait in line while he placed the bear and pillows on his trunk.
The line was a little longer than usual, sunset was starting so it would be a pretty view when you hit the top. Raul has his arm around my shoulder as soon as he got in it with me, we had a casual chatter until it was our turn to hop on the seats. He placed my legs over his lap, keeping a hand on my thigh as the other one held my hand. There was a pleasant breeze hitting us and I payed my head on his shoulder as the attraction started working. I could easily picture us as a real thing when he acted like that, so soft and sweet, without the whole sex part of our relationship’, but unfortunately I had to remind myself every time that this was just that, nothing less and nothing more.
“You’re gorgeous” I heard his raspy and low voice and turned to face him.
“You are too” I said as I felt the blush rising on my cheeks.
“And cute” he said chuckling and turning a little bit sideways, so I was still comfortable with my legs above his, but he could pull me closer and keep his arm on the backrest of the seat “do you ever wonder about the future?”
“Hm, yeah, I want to be able to still live in Toronto, but also would like to expand my job a bit more”
“No, I know that... I was asking about your personal life, I love to hear about your job but that’s all you seem to talk about”
“Well, that’s all I think about”
“Don’t you think about a serious relationship or settling down?”
“Sometimes, I just try not to focus too much on it... you?”
“Me?” he asked and looked straight ahead, giving me the opportunity to analise his face better with the orange and pink glow lighting up his greek god like features “I’ve never really thought about it, at least not since my last girlfriend... I mean, I know I’d love to be a dad and getting up to do pancakes on a Sunday and all that cute shit, I just thought for a long while that I wasn’t ready for that yet”
“She didn’t deserve you” I spilled it out before I could hold it back and he just chuckled looking at me through the corner of his eye.
“I wasn’t the best boyfriend”
“That’s a lie and everyone knows it except you, Raul” I said and he just shrugged “I’m serious, I’m not your girlfriend and you did all of these little things for me, I can’t even imagine what you did for her, and... are you even listening?” I asked as I noticed that he was staring at me but his mind was somewhere else.
“I’m sorry” he mumbled cupping my face gently with one hand “it’s just... you look so good right now, I just keep getting lost in your eyes”
“Any girl would be lucky to have you, or to call you hers”
“It’s a shame they can’t though” his gaze kept falling to my lips as he spoke.
“At least they get to kiss you”
“Hmm no, they don’t, but you do” he said softly as he crashed our lips together on a tender kiss, the ferris wheel on top, just like those cliche movies I like to say I hate but at the end of the day I’m always watching them and crying my eyes out.
His hand on my face kept lightly caressing my cheek with his thumb as the other pulled me closer by my waist, placing me practically on his lap. I threaded my fingers on his chocolate locks and moved without breaking the kiss to actually sit on his lap, earning a little strangled moan from him. His lips were moving in sync with mine in a way I haven’t felt before. It was obviously filled with desire and passion, but at the same time was loving and like he had all the time in the world to kiss me, deepening it slowly, letting his hand on my leg trail and gently squeeze my thigh.
It was vicious kissing him and I couldn’t stop myself from getting lost in all the sensations he was providing. I could feel him everywhere -on my tongue, on my lips, on my cheeks, on my sides, on the back of my neck, under me; his scent was all I could smell and he was all I could taste. The only sounds I was able to hear were the soft ones we couldn’t hold back and my heart beating wildly in my ears. It’s like my mind went completely blank and I swear I never felt this way by only kissing him or anyone without second intentions. Even though it was passionate, it wasn’t with sexual intentions, it was something much deeper than that.
He pulled back for air after what felt like a lifetime but not enough time altogether, but his hands didn’t let me go anywhere, not that I actually wanted to. He rested his forehead in mine as we caught our breaths, the two of us grinning like idiots as the wheel started going down. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips one more time and just stared into my eyes, like he could see my soul.
“I wasn’t going to talk to you about it today but....” he mumbled softly, his voice deep and with the raspy tone I love way too much “...when you asked me about the future, I said and still try to say that I’m not ready yet and that I don’t know, that I don’t think about it, but that’s a lie, I’ve thought about it recently and that’s all that’s been on my mind lately, and maybe it is time to settle down”
Holy shit, that’s what this whole trip thing is about. He’s about to say that what we have is over. That was a goodbye kiss or something like that, oh my God, that’s what Peter meant when he told me to be careful when he first heard about us. Raul’s collection of broken hearts were huge and everyone knew it. I should’ve known better.
“Raul... I don’t want to talk about it, please” I said getting away from his touch to clear my head
“But, Y/N” shit, he didn’t even called me ‘princess’ or whatever.
“Don’t, please don’t do this to me, I don’t want to go through this again”
“Okay, do you want to go back to the cabin?” he asked and I nodded, bracing myself as I finally felt the temperature falling “are you cold? Do you want my jacket?” he offered and I shook my head.
We hopped off the attraction as soon as we could and walked to the car in a deafening silence. The drive to the campsite seemed longer than it actually was, he kept stealing glances at me with a concerned expression all over his face, but I kept my glare outside the car, curled into a ball on the passenger seat. As soon as the car went into a full stop in front of where we would spend the night, I got out and went straight into the bathroom, locking the door and sitting on the floor, finally letting all the emotions I was holding back flow out into tears.
I finally thought I’ve found someone who could be the one for me, he actually treated me right and cared about me, but apparently I don’t get to have a happy ending. I’m just tired of always being the second choice or the ‘good time call’. And with him, I finally felt like I might’ve been the one. I guess that’s why everyone falls for him. He makes us feel special and then get bored, just to mine onto the next one. And the worst? He doesn’t do it on purpose, he told me he’s not the one to catch feelings and he did everything the promised, I was the one reading too much into it. And it’s all my fault.
Once I got over my pitiful situation, I got up and decided to shower, taking my sweet time to try to relax and get that boy out of my head. When I was done with it, I went back to the room wrapped up on a towel and there was no sight of him at all, but his stuff were still there, so I took the opportunity to grab a pair of a white lace lingerie (since all the pieces I brought were similar, I had to pick one), sweatpants and a hoodie. I changed into it and braided my hair loosely, grabbing a pair of uggs I went out to try to find him. Only to see him sitting by a campfire with a backpack beside him, wrapped in a blanket and holding a stick into the fire with a marshmallow on the end. I don’t know if he noticed me, but if he did, he didn’t show, he just stood there, staring at the flames with a sour expression.
“You should grab a blanket or go back inside” he mumbled after a while, making me jump because I wasn’t expecting him to talk to me at all after my little shit show.
“Hm, actually, can I talk to you?”
“Sure” he said sighing and eating the sugary treat, I took a deep breath and sat beside him on the wood improvised bench.
“You did the campfire”
“You said you wanted one, I wanted to do as many things you wanted today, and besides, I’ve already brought the wine and marshmallows”
“Yeah, I noticed your efforts, thank you for that” I said and he nodded.
“It was worth it” he said and the awkward silence was starting to come back until I decided to break it.
“I’m sorry, about the way I acted, there’s just no excuse for what I did, you’re trying to talk to me and I just snapped at you for no reason, I’m so sorry” I said looking at the fire.
“It’s not your fault, maybe we weren’t ready to talk about it”
“No, it is, I got everything wrong and didn’t even let you finished... we’re friends, it’s my job to listen to you and help you when you need it”
“I’m sorry”
“I’m sorry too” I said softly and curling myself into a ball to not freeze to death.
“Hey, come here” he said opening his blanket for me to get closer to him, and I obliged happily, being quickly engulfed in his warmth and his scent “if I give you a marshmallow, will we go back to normal?”
“Sure” I said smiling at him and he chuckled.
He offered me a glass of wine and I could not refuse it. We spent what felt like ages just talking about random stuff and eating marshmallows, holding each other to keep us warm. Raul really is amazing and I don’t know if I’m ready to loose all of this, I hope we can still be friends after this.
“So... can I ask you why you’re crying?”
“I wasn’t” I said hating myself from being so transparent.
“Princess...”
“I just... it’s stupid really... and you probably already imagine why so...”
“Oh, yeah, sorry about that”
“So... who’s the lucky girl?” I tried changing the subject a little.
“Lucky girl? Honey, you’ve had like a glass of whine, are you already drunk?”
“What? Don’t act like I’m the crazy one, I know okay? I’m over it, I just want to be a good friend and get to know her”
“Get to know who, Y/N?!”
“The girl you’ve been thinking about settling down and stuff, there’s a girl, right? Isn’t that why you want to end things with me?”
“What the hell are you... oh my God, Y/N!”
“What?” I asked and he started full on laughing “it’s not funny, you know?”
“Shit, sorry, princess” he said trying to hold back the laughter “there’s no girl, I’m not seeing anyone but you, thought you knew that already, and I’m not ending anything! Are you crazy? Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know, maybe you got bored and I don’t know, Raul, I just... I guess I got too confused about today and then you started talking about how you never thought about the future until now”
“Oh no, no, you got all wrong, there’s no other girl and I’m not bored, how could I be bored around you? You’re everything that’s been keeping me sane lately, I need you so fucking bad” he said looking quite desperate to make me believe on him “I know I suck at communicating and I need to work on that, but I thought that this was already too obvious”
“What?”
“You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
“Jesus Christ, you don’t know? What does all of our months together and today mean to you?”
“That you’re very loving and caring when you can, and the best friend I could ever had”
“Is that all? Nothing else came to your mind?”
“Hmm... no?”
“I’m fucking head over heels in love with you, dumbass”
“Wait a second... what?!”
“That’s what you heard, God, I can’t believe you didn’t notice!”
“How could I?”
“I took you to my parents, I dropped a lot of shifts just to cuddle the fuck out of you when you have a bad day or are your period, you’re the only one besides my family who’s seen the softest side of me, the only one besides my brothers who I tell everything to, the one I took five days off work to organize and take you to this trip on valentine’s day to keep you from being sad and also taking you on a date without freaking you out, to me we’ve been a lot more then special friends for ages now and I’m so sorry for that, I made the rule about no feelings allowed and I broke it, and I know you don’t feel the same, I just never thought you’d be so sad about it, or I wouldn’t even mention the subject of the future...”
“Shut up for like a second” I said cutting him off “are you telling me you’ve been in love with me this whole time and didn’t say a thing?”
“You’re crying half an hour ago, how did you expect me to tell you that earlier?!” He had a point. And I can’t believe I never noticed all the stuff he did for me and only me “Hm... can you say something?”
“Well, I guess I’m pretty dumb, cause I was crying cause I thought you wanted someone else and that hurt like hell cause I fell for you too”
“Are you kidding me?” he asked with the biggest smile on his face, he could literally light up the whole carnival if he wanted.
“Nope”
“You actually fell for me? Like I did for you?”
“Just like that” I said grinning like a freak.
He cupped my jaw with his massive hand and pulled me in for a kiss. It was like there were fireworks everywhere. His lips molded into mine like they’re made to be glued together forever. His tongue swiped on my bottom lip asking for me to open my mouth, which I did without even blinking, making Raul let out a soft groan, pulling me to straddle his thighs as he deepened the kiss, and not long after, trailing the down my neck with opened-mouth kisses, making me whimper lightly and soon I felt his smirk against my skin.
“Not the worst valentine’s day, eh?” he said kissing my forehead as we tried to recover from the kiss.
“Nope, definitely the best” I said cupping his face and kissing him all over again.
-*-
*Last piece inspired by the valentine’s day!
*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.
*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.
*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!
*Hope you guys enjoyed it!
*xoxo
-🌙
: @fivefeetapartt
#shawn mendes#shawn peter raul mendes#sm#shawn#mendes#the mendes triplets#mendes triplets#peter#raul#peter mendes#raul mendes#raul mendes imagine#shawn mendes au#au#alternative universe#raul mendes au#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes oneshot#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fan fic#shawn mendes fic#boyfriend shawn#shawn mendes x reader#shawn mendes x you#shawn mendes x y/n#y/n#reader#you#valentines day
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about me? tag games
tagged by the lovely @yeojaa! thank you for the tag!
tagging: @bratkook (because you’re gorgeous but also hi! i want to talk to you more but i’m so easily intimidated 🥺) idk anyone else who doesn’t mind their face being shown, but if you want to, consider yourself tagged by me 💕🥰
post your favourite/most recent photo of yourself
i do not like my face unless it doesn’t look like my face? but i’m trying to be better about accepting it/taking pictures because it’s the one face i’m going to get. and lovely noor always hypes me up 🥰 this is my most recent one...from one year ago! all of my photos are from aerial performances lol which is why the outfit is very sparkly. (...i don’t know why my lips are always pursed someone help me)
the first thing that came to mind was my tenacity and stubbornness. it’s a double edged sword, especially when i get unnecessarily competitive with the stupidest things (there have been many times when i would argue with my therapist for the stupidest things for the sake of “winning.” jesse, i’m so sorry), but it’s funny at times.
the first thing that came to mind was my tenacity and stubbornness. it’s a double edged sword, especially when i get unnecessarily competitive with the stupidest things (there have been many times when i would argue with my therapist for the stupidest things for the sake of “winning.” jesse, i’m so sorry), but it’s funny at times.
i dont know if this a personality trait, but my willingness to learn? i like to be openminded because there is so much out there that i do not know. and there’s so much that i had (and still have!) to unlearn and re-learn and learn to be a better human being. and a lot of that isn’t possible without being willing to learn and open-minded!
favourite body part of yours
my ankles? i have a friend who really likes my ankles. (they’re weirdly tiny? i have small hands, but if i wrap my hand around it, i can almost touch my thumb and middle finger. they’re also super weak though so i lose my balance quite often and have stretched my ligament a few times). or my eyes i guess. to be honest, i really don’t like my body but i’ve been trying to practice body neutrality more, trying to understand that this is the body i’ve been given and while i may not love it, it does what it needs to do and i’m very fortunate and privileged to be able bodied on the surface and mostly able bodied in general!
favourite aesthetic/style on yourself
ohhh a tough one. i really like oversized sweaters and shirts with short shorts so that it looks like i’m not wearing anything underneath? one of my friends likes to associate that look with me. i also love sundresses, the ones that float and settle gently when you spin.
what are you most proud of?
my friends! my friends are a great source of my pride and joy and i’m very proud and grateful to be able to have them in my life, that they have seen me through my ups and downs, that they’re willing to call me out on my bullshit and still sit with me when i’m low, and that they love me. i’ve made quite a few reckless decisions, but the friends i keep and made, they’re some of the best ones i’ve made in my life. but...if we’re going for a more direct answer, how much care and affection i give to my friends! sometimes i’m not a great friend because i’m unable to work past my depression and si and thoughts, but i think for the most part and when it counts the most, i try my best to be present with my friends and check in with them, sending them messages, and doing everything in my power to let them know they’re loved and appreciated! i wouldn’t be where i am today without my friends.
a trait people say they like about you
i’m cackling. i actually had to ask my groupchat this: they said they like how excited i am about things/when i care about someone/something i care A LOT about them and i’m invested 200%. “you call it being a nerd abt things you like including marvel, queens gambit, etc. I think you carry it into how you love & care for ppl too. i feel that way when you tell me that you’ll read my papers even tho they’re long & annoying or when you bring me food bc you remember I had been craving it or when your randomly text me things out of nowhere & just check in on me to see how I’m doing” “i like how excited u get abt things. it’s nice knowing u want me to be a part of ur world.”
a personality/physical trait that you used to be ashamed of but now appreciate
oh dear. for physical, my eyes? they’re monolidded and they don’t fit western/korean beauty standards, so as a kid, they were one of my biggest insecurities. but now, i’ve kind of come to peace with them? it makes makeup harder because there’s things that i can’t do (not that i have the talent to pull off intricate eyeshadow looks anyways) but we work with what we’re given.
personality wise...i’m not really sure because i think i’ve grown and changed a lot, but a lot of things have stayed the same and i don’t really think i was embarrassed about my personality? there are lots that i don’t like that i’ve come to accept, however. i’m work very much in extremes: i’m a leaky faucet or breaking dam. i’m all or nothing. i feel too much or too little. i used to hate it, but now, it’s just whatever. i’m very ambivalent about it.
favourite colour on you?
blue! i really like wearing blue and black and white? i think blue is just very versatile and i associate a lot of my personality to it. black and white is...well black and white haha. i feel like they look good with anything but i don’t own a lot of them, for some reason. maybe when things get better, i’d like to thrift some more black and white pieces.
favourite clothing on you
MY DOCS! even though they’re high key a bitch and i bought them because the girls i worked with encouraged my desire to buy them (2/3 of my female coworkers at levis wore docs with their jeans and i felt like it was validating me to finally make the purchase after 3 years.) they go with almost everything and they make me feel like i can stomp all over my insecurities! i like jeans (probably from my short stint at levi’s), especially the high waisted ones. my favourites are the painter boys (loose, lots of pockets, wide legged) and the wedgie (that name is ridiculous, no matter how many times i see/say it). i love my ripped wedgie jeans with my docs. as for tops, i love cardigans but do not own any.
an aesthetic you want to try but are too scared to
CROP TOPS!!! crop tops and skin tight clothing? because of my body shape, i know they look good on me but i just am not comfortable in them? i would also love to try thigh high boots at one point in my life. also, the all black, professional aesthetic? idk what it’s called, but the blazers and black turtlenecks and slacks? would love to try, but that section intimidates me
things you like getting compliments on the most
i’m awful at receiving compliments unless they’re sarcastic ones hehe. but i like getting compliments on my writing? or on the things that i do that make other people happy and loved? i like receiving compliments on the things that i do for other people! (not that i do them to receive compliments though!)
lastly, do you love yourself?
ahahahaha 🙃
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we’re such a cliche - c.s
pairing: choi san x fem!reader
genre: fluff, angst if you squint
warnings: none
word count: 4.k
synopsis: two oblivious best friends in love? one-sided. one is too shy to confess his love the other is ashamed to confess.
a/n: ugh i remember this was my only good story so i hope you enjoy and show me how much u loved this! i always enjoy feedback
a black and white checked short, v-neck dress woven in viscose fabric. short sleeves, button full length of front, and flared skirt with gathered tiers. your newly dyed brunette hair. your makeup was simple, yet so elegant. with mascara to define your eyes by enhancing your lashes. a brown eyeliner pencil along the lashes with a thin line that helped you enhance your eye shape. for your lips you opted for a natural pink lip. for your feet you wore suede sandals with covered block heels and an adjustable ankle strap with leather linings and insoles. of course in black. your jewelry was a set of pearl stud earrings paired with a silver pendant necklace with the name 'san' written on it. you never take it off as it was a gift from your best friend. as of now you were absolutely stunning wearing such simple clothing. you were heading off to kq entertainment's newly debuted rookie's dorm. ateez. coincidentally one of the members is your best friend. choi san. the only person you ever have and will rely on throughout your life. he's been by your side no matter what. and you were on his. cheering him on all the way of his dream of becoming an idol. walking up to their doorstep you hesitate to ring the bell as it was your first time seeing him after his debut. it's also your first time meeting his band mates. quickly taking out your phone camera your check yourself out. you have never been this nervous when it comes to san. why were you now? you build up courage and ring the doorbell stepping back. it's been almost three minutes since you rang the bell. was no one home? you thought to yourself. until it swung open to reveal a purple haired boy. he seemed about 5'8 and he was absolutely gorgeous. "may i help you?" he asks politely. "uh yes!" you say quickly avoiding eye contact with him. you continue, "is san inside?" you ask looking back up fighting the urge to look away. god did he make you nervous. "yes he is. do you want me to call him?" he asked you with a small smile. you nod waiting as he left the door open and jogged down the hall to get san himself.
"hyung. some really pretty girl is asking if your here. she has this cute dress on with her brown hair and you should see her hair!! she looks like an idol sannie. it's like brunette hair with a dark purple streak." as wooyoung was explaining and low-key fangirling over you san was very confused on who you were. but once wooyoung mentioned the purple streak it instantly clicked for him on who this mystery girl was. he instantly jumped from his bed and ran to the front door. all you saw was a guy running towards you and kinda almost made you piss yourself from the scare it gave you. "y/nnnnnnnnn" the voice said squeaking. you noticed it was san running when you heard his voice but honestly when you saw him running it didn't look like him. what a glow up. his hair was green, well it was a sage green and had darker green streaks all over. his muscles got bigger. seemed more tone. healthier and happier. his ears were pierced too he always complained to you of how he was scared to get them done but look at him now. opening your arms letting him embrace you. his arms snaked around your waist pulling you up and your went around his neck. hugging like your never going to see each other again. it's almost been nine months since you've seen him so it's understandable. you even brought him a present. it was the exact same silver pendant necklace he got you on your 15th birthday. but instead of 'san' it said 'y/n'. you hand him the gift but you make sure he doesn't open it til later. you give him a friendly peck; though you two were strictly just friends you never acted like it. you two were each other's everything. yet no romance sparked. you were each other's first kiss, were the first to take each another's virginity, the gifts. it was like you two were dating but nobody ever said anything you just told people you were best friends.
"come in" he tells you taking you by the hand. while you take your shoes off and san calls his band mates down to introduce you. "ah what is it now." a deep voice said echoing the door. "i was napping." one whined. they all come down laying around the living room lazily. "comee why are you so shy today." san tells you dragging you to the living room. "guys this is y/n." he says cheeks rosy pink. "who?" a dark haired boy says. "your girlfriend?" another boy with a slightly orange hair asked. "nonono!" you say suddenly budding in. "were just best friends." you say cheekily looking at san who smiled back. "doesn't look like it." said the purple haired boy from earlier. "wooyoung.." a blonde boy said from beside signaling him to shut it. "what? they don't! she has a necklace with his name on it! and they are holding hands!" he said loudly pointing. "we are just best friends. i bought her the necklace on her birthday couple years back. we are..close" san told wooyoung. "well.. i'm yunho" said a voice from behind. turning around you look up at a tall tall boy with dark brown locks munching on potato chips smiling down at you. it was warming. he seemed comfortable and wasn't making you awkward. "hi i'm y/n" you say back at him. "that blue haired one is mingi, the purple thing who screamed is wooyoung, the faded carrot top is yeosang, blondie is hongjoong the scary tall one with his arms crossed is seonghwa and the other brownie is jongho." yunho quickly explains to you. the boys say hi simultaneously back. "what's that" seonghwa asks san pointing at the bag. "y/n got me a gift." he says giggling like a fanboy. both of you sit down on the couch in front of the rest of the boys as san opens the gift. the boys eyeing the bag filled with curiosity of what you could've gotten him. he pulls out a small velvet box. looking at you already knowing what it was. "no.." he says as a big smile grows upon his face. he recognized what you got him immediately. the box gave it away. on your fifteenth birthday the necklace san got you came in an ugly red velvet box with the store logo on the front written in silver lettering. he decided to get a custom box but this time it was a black velvet box with your name written on it in gold lettering. this time around you did the exact same but his name. "yes." you said to him. you chuckled a little while he opened the box grabbing necklace. "it's beautiful." he tells you. you take the necklace from him putting it on him. "wow sannie your so beautiful." you tell him. he embraced you playfully leaving pecks on your cheek causing you to laugh aloud.
"best friends" yeosang mocks you two quietly to wooyoung as they giggle. "look guys were matching now. he shows the guys your necklaces. they smile agreeing how cute it was. san has been meaning to ask you why the sudden visit. "y/n how come you just dropped by randomly?" he asked curious. "i recently opened my bakery down the street remember sannie i told you this! you never listen." you whine punching the side of his arm. pretending to be in pain and yelling in 'pain' he tells you "hey! i have a lot of things to remember sorry i forgot but the main question is when are you going bring me those delicious blueberry souffles you make??" you sigh remembering how san was always your little taste tester when you bake and he had a special liking to your blueberry souffles. "i'll bring you some after work." you tell him combing your fingers through his hair. "speaking of work. it's almost lunch i gotta get to work." you say getting up bidding your farewells giving san a peck before leaving. "san-ah are you sure your both just friends?" hongjoong asks laughing. "yes! we are friends.." he says sighing leaning back on the couch playing with he box the necklace came from. "were just best friends, well to her." he said voice getting quieter. the members could notice how you two were together. it didn't seem one-sided. "i don't think it's one-sided." jongho says. "you two literally kissed more today than i've ever kissed the members." wooyoung says raising his brows. "that's the thing. we act like a couple but when someone asks us she'll panic and say no were just best friends." he said getting up, putting the empty box in the gift bag. "i'm going to take a nap." he told the members before heading upstairs.
you were making your way down the street peacefully enjoying the scenery. i can't believe they thought me and sannie were dating. you thought laughing to yourself. i mean sometimes i wish i could say 'yea we are' but i don't think i'll be good. you sigh. you've always had strong feelings for san but you don't think your good. good enough for a guy like him. he had everything, looks, talent and now he has millions of fans. compared to idols, models, actresses, you are just ordinary. you seem bland. you've never seen yourself as anything other than basic and having feelings let alone date an amazing unique person like san who was out of your league was just funny to you now. but your feelings grow more everyday. you two act like one why not just be one but it was never that easy. you thought san was playful and lovey dovey with you just for laughs and pure entertainment. on the other hand it was pretty hilarious to other people who weren't oblivious to the two of you. you both thought it was one-sided. one is too shy to confess his love the other is ashamed to confess.
you ended up baking some mini cookie's and cream cheesecake bites for the boys. but you didn't want to disturb them again so you went home with them hopefully bringing it to them tomorrow morning. hoping into bed going on with your evening til you got a message from non-other than san. smiling you unlock your phone to read the text. 'call??' he texted you. not feeling the need to reply you hit the facetime icon on his contact, now ringing. "hey" he says answering the call. it looked like he was comfortable on his bed laying down with his shiber beside him. "hi." you say smiling, you were cooking actually. you needed dinner one way or another and take-out was getting pricey near you. "what are you making" he asked you curiously adjusting his place in bed. "i'm just making some chicken with my salad, haven't had anything remotely healthy for the past few weeks from being surrounded by sweets." you tell him laughing in the process making him laugh a little. after cooking, getting ready for bed and even when you got in bed he was still on the other line. "i'm tired sannie" you quietly tell him trying to let him know you both need some sleep. "okay um goodnight y/n sleep well" he tells you in a bunched up sentence. "ah goodnight you too" you murmur in your sleepy voice before saying "see you tomorrow" ending the call and placing your phone on your night stand falling into a deep sleep.
you woke up to the sun rays over your closed eyes. you could've gotten an extra twenty minutes in bed as you alarm hasn't rung yet. sighing and covering your face with the blankets you decide to be more productive since to you, you were a slob. a basic slob. getting up you grab your outfit for the day and head to the shower, hoping out at least ten minutes later you go to put on your outfit and put some makeup on. you picked out a black short a-line skirt with a high waist and buttons at the front, and for you top you wanted to seem modern to fit in with today's fashion so you picked out a white cropped top with a drawstring-front and long puff sleeves. you decided to pair them with some tie-strap sandals in black with crossover foot straps and long straps to tie around you ankle. your makeup was the same as always; regular eyeliner. but instead of a thin line you wanted to try out a tiny cat-eye. after doing that you put on mascara and some powder to cover your acne scars finishing off you look with some light pink tinting lip balm. you try your best to look good you always knew it was ordinary and basic but you tried to at least look appealing basic or not. you straighten your hair today instead of letting out your natural beach waves out. you wanted your purple hair to stand out knowing it was the only non basic part of you. you grab your house keys, phone and you couldn't forget the cheesecake. walking out going down the street.your house was about a twenty minute walk from the bakery although some would find it exhausting to walk that long just to work that they would just buy a car but to be honest you enjoyed the scenery.
you arrive at the boy's dorm beforehand to hang for a little and hand them the treat. ringing the bell it swings open not even a minute later. "y/n!" it was mingi. he was by far one of your favourite people at the dorms probably because you two clicked fast with similar interests. "hi mingi~" you say giving him a side hug letting yourself in. "i need all eight of you here in the living room." you tell him as he zoomed away collecting the members, you go to the dining table and take out the cheesecake and grab a juice box for yourself. "why are you here so early" san moans aloud with a sleepy voice. "thought you were coming til ten-thirty" he tells you lazily going to embrace you. "i had to go in early today due to one of the workers having trouble with the locks." you tell him. "i brought you guys some cheesecake bites i made the other day" you say cheerfully as they all make eye contact with the treat on the table "keep her around please.." hongjoong says going in to grab a bite. "don't worry she's not ever leaving." san says to hongjoong with a cheeky smile assuring him playfully as you all laugh. "we have no dinner for tonight the cabinets are EMPTY!!" yunho says out of the blue. "if you guys want i can bring some takeout. my bakery is right beside a bunch of yummy stores and a grocery store if you would rather have home cooked meals. i can make you boys some kimchi fried rice." you tell them looking down to your feet. "we don't want you to do all the work cooking it's okay y/ thank you." seonghwa tells you. "i can meet you at the bakery before you close up and we can get takeout..!" san tells you. nodding with a smile you bid your goodbyes heading to work.
"i want to tell her." san tells the boys facing them with a stern look once you left. they were happy to help but he declined wanting to do it when he picked you up from work today. "how are you going to do it." jongho asks curious. san thought of making it so rejection or not you'd both laugh. he wanted to be corny but not where it touches you but to the point where it's so corny you laugh and get red. but he had no idea how. "you know how she owns a bakery? why don't you get a baked good and write it in icing?" wooyoung suggested the most perfect idea that literally made san squirm in excitement. running back to the dorm he kind of wanted his outfit to match with yours so he put on a white dress shirt that would define his figure well making him look very very hot as if he wasn't already. he paired it with regular black pants and went downstairs to get the members approval of how he looked as they approved he put on some random shoes and went out the door. his hair was in a middle part making it so he didn't look too basic nor too fancy. he walks swiftly past your bakery to another one to buy a small cupcake. he wanted to place a small heart on the frosted good. as the worker did that he was looking around waiting and pulled out his phone snapping a picture forwarding it to you. 'where are you?' you texted him after opening the attachment. 'buying mingi a little something' he replied scared if you would notice his current settings. "here you go sir." the worker said placing the cupcake on the counter. "would you like it gift wrapper? just a small box with it." she asked. "yes are there any choices?" he asked excitingly. "yes we have the boxes in blue, black, pink, red, purple and white with the ribbons in silver, gold, pink, black and blue. you can also write something on the top." she told him. this is where it san wanted to make it a lot more meaningful as if it wasn't enough. "may i have it in a black box with golden ribbons with the name y/n on top." he told the worker. if it's even possible san got more happy and excited than he already was. "thank you" san thanked the worker paying and leaving. his mask and coat made his identity a secret from you and fans if there were any. he decided to look through the big window you had for viewing in your bakery. he noticed you trying to frost some cheesecakes. he wanted some but couldn't risk it so he went home. "how is this?" he asked yunho who was the only one in the vicinity when he came home. he showed the box and opened it a little to show the red velvet cupcake with white frosting. it had small heart candies all over the frosting. "whaa i'm jealous of y/n now. didn't know you were so romantic sannie." he told san playfully nudging his shoulder as the two laugh. he places it in the fridge and goes to shower as you would close the shop up in three hours. he didn't realize how much time has passed until he was in the shower.
"suminnie!!" you say to your girl best friend. sumin has been busy overseas with college and finally came home after graduation. you two already set a date to hang out but she surprised you early to see how your new found business was. "hi baby" she says kissing your forehead. you hand her a treat as you two chat until you close up. "how are you and your boyfriend" she ask's as you flush red and laugh at her locking up the bakery. "were not dating." you tell her. "were just friends i know he doesn't see me the way i see him. even if he did, he shouldn't like someone like me." you say leaning against the wall. "your perfect y/n. not basic. not too outgoing. your perfect. you don't know how badly i wanted to be you while we grew up. you could always rock blond, brown, black, red, blue hair always with your iconic purple strands. your body is outstanding and you eat sweets all day. your great at everything. i grew up jealous of you. your perfect i can't see why san wouldn't like you back." she tells your patting your head telling you how amazing you were which was true. everyone saw it but you. the insecurities always got at you. but you accept what sumin tells you to feel better about yourself for tonight. you stand up knowing she should head home now which was in the opposite direction of you. "bye i love you see you tuesday." you tell her while she runs off. you wonder where san is and just that second he spooked up behind you. "boo." he spoke into your ear from behind. you jumped a little turning around to give him a small hug as you two walk down the lit street. "can we sit at the bench over there for a second y/n?" san asked you, honestly he wasn't even waiting for a reply. he took your hand as you two cross the empty street to sit at a bench at a nearby park. "what is it sannie" you ask him really confused and nervous for what's to come. "here." he shyly hands you a black box with golden ribbons in a bow with your name on it. opening it you see your favourite cupcake. a traditional red velvet cupcake with frosting perfectly swirled at the top with small heart flakes all over. you were oblivious to what he was meaning by it but you found it kind of corny either way. cringing you take out the small cupcake removing the wrap a biting into it a pleased sound coming from your mouth happy with how it taste. san was googling the cupcake obviously wanting a bite. you feed him a bite. but you still didn't know why. "sannie what is all this." you asking him taking another bite. he still had some cupcake in his mouth he was chewing down but after he wanted it to be straightforward. "it's me telling you i love you. a lot." he spilled casually wiping his mouth of frosting looking up at your blanked out expression. you didn't know how or why he could like someone like you. you were assured by sumin how there were millions of reasons on how a man like san would fall in love with you but you brushed it aside because you couldn't believe. "tell me you love me too." he told you. he hoped you would. he really wanted you to. you were speechless though. although you were happy he was in love with you as much as you were with him. you were scared to commit, scared to admit. c'mon y/n this is your chance you tell yourself mentally finally looking him the eyes. starting to lose hope in you san looks away tears brimming in his eyes. he knew deep down he shouldn't have. why am i afraid? you thought. "sorry." you tell san cupping his cheek with one hand looking him in the eye. "please." he told you, both of you looking into each others eyes. though you were too afraid to admit it verbally you had enough courage to let him know physically. using your other hand to cup both his cheeks you close eyes pulling him locking both your lips. you had kissed before, multiple times in fact. but hey were all pecks. kisses on the cheeks and quick hi and bye kisses. nothing deep and meaningful, but tonight you made sure it was long and meaningful. his lips immediately reacted pushing back and now kissing with a slow pace. his arm was placed in your elbow going up to hold your hand before you break the kiss. staring into one another's eyes you muster up enough courage still high off that kiss to tell him. "i love you." you tell him breaking eye contact. "so much" you say quietly to yourself but audible enough for san to hear. this resulted in him embracing you pecking your cheek. you were both relieved to feel mutual about each another but you were still scared but one thing you knew you deserved was happiness and now you finally feel happy with your new found love, choi san.
this was supposed to be a series but i rushed the ending so i could fit it all in ! hope u enjoyed reading this~ show love please (by reblogging and liking) make sure to leave feed back and everything
#ateez#atiny#ateez x atiny#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#mingi#san#choi san#wooyoung#jongho#san x reader#ateez imagiens#ateez imagines#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez oneshots#ateez au#san imagines#san smut#san scenarios#san oneshots#san au#ateez emems#ateez memes#ateez icons#kpop#kpop smut
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NCT NSFW A-Z: Jaehyun
I went to the NeoCity concert in Miami a month ago and now I can't get NCT out of my head. So I present you with this :’)
A - Aftercare
He’d probably just lay next to you for like 5 minutes to catch his breath. He’d wrap his arms under you and pull you into his side watching you with heart eyes and a subtle grin as you pant little breaths. Once he’s mellowed out he’d go all soft boy again, doing small cute things like tying your hair back so you can cool off, wiping you off with a cool towel if things got messy, getting you some water if you want. Then it’s tiny kisses on your forehead and temple, probably cringy small talk about how cute you are when you moan for him and some cuddles.
B – Body Part
On you it’s probably your legs. It might sound weird but he just finds them absolutely gorgeous. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall or short or what you’re doing. Laying on the couch with some shorts, running around in one of his shirts with your legs bare, jumping out of the pool. Anything would drive him insane. He loves pressing kisses to them when things get intimate and running his fingers across them when cuddling.
C – Cum
Not his favorite thing in the world just because of how messy and annoying to clean it is, but kinda loves putting it on you. He might even have a thing for watching you play with it. Jaehyun seems like the type to be really into facials and swallowing. Painting your cute little face with thick, white streams, watching you rub it around between your fingers or seeing the white pool disappear between your lips after fucking your mouth is like the cherry on top of his sundae.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he was into creampies too. He’d push himself inside you as deep as he could when he cums and pulls back to see it slowly seeping out and down your shaking thigh, drawing out a long sigh of satisfaction as he threw his head back and closed his eyes.
D – Dirty Secret
Probably something like panty sniffing. Idky but I see that happening. He probably takes a pair of yours on tour to wrap around himself when he gets off.
E – Experience
I know Jae has a player attitude about him but I don’t buy it for a second. I don’t think he’s been with a ton of women, but enough that he knows what he’s doing, plus one or two extra tricks. Probably learned a thing or two from porn.
F – Favorite Position
Doggy style with your hands tied behind your back.
He can be rough and fuck you into the bed, have his hand on your hips to keep you in place, but can still tug you up by your hair when he wants to hear your little noises.
Hands behind your back for that little power trip.
G – Goofy
On a few occasions, like when he’s drunk. He probably can’t stop himself from cracking a goofy smile. All the way from the door to the bedroom, while making out, taking off clothes, even during the actual sex he’s making stupid jokes, giving you cringy compliments, and can’t seem to take anything either of you says or do seriously.
Also, the first time you guys are intimate together. He wouldn’t want you to be nervous, especially if you were younger/less experienced than him, so he would do his best to make the mood lighter by making jokes or being overly cute. By that I mean lots of small kisses, light taunting, etc. Anything to get you to smile, ignore your nerves and focus on having a good time.
H – Hair
Probably trims so it’s not a full on bush, but doesn’t bother with shaving totally bare. Doesn’t care what you do with yours.
I – Intimacy
Jaehyun’s a total Casanova. He knows how to read your body language and expressions extremely well, so he knows exactly what you want when you want it and how to deliver. He can be romantic and suave, cute and gentle, rough and dominating, whatever you want he’s got it.
I definitely see him being someone that shows his affection often in a lot of tiny ways, but I think his favorite way to show how much he feels for you is by getting intimate. That being said he makes the whole thing about you; your enjoyment and pleasure always come first.
J – Jack-Off
Probably does a lot on tour. There’s a lot of time between tour stops for him to alone with his thoughts that he can’t seem to control. You’re already on his mind all the time, which didn’t help his struggle to control his desires. He prides himself on his ability to control his sexual urges, but between the lack of physical contact, the sexual dances, and you’re unforgiving voice messages, I see him jacking off pretty often. Like at least every other night, probably late after concerts.
Probably calls you for phone sex if the time zones line-up well enough. If not he probably gets off to some videos he filmed of you guys before you left or videos and voice messages you sent him a while back.
K - Kink
Maybe a power kink.
Nothing huge, but he loves the dominating feeling that runs through him when he looks down and see’s you laying there under him, shaking vaguely, mind completely clouded in a fucked out daze as you fully submit to him. It sends him on this weird power trip and fills him with a sense of pride.
Maybe an innocence kink too.
I only really see this happening if he’s with an inexperienced partner who’s still kinda hesitant and moves with uncertainty. He’d like guiding them and find it hot that he’d get to “train” them to do things exactly as he wanted. Looking at you move to please him with glossy baby doll eyes, a little bend in your brow as you questioned if you were doing it right would drive him mad.
L - Limits
He’s open to trying most things, but nothing super wild or extreme. He’s just past the line of Vanilla tbh.
M – Motivation (Turn-On)
When you walk around with nothing but his shirt on. It makes you look so cute to him. He likes knowing your completely him, and this is the perfect way to remind him and rile him up at the same time. Bonus points if you bend over and put everything on display for him.
N – NO (Turn-Off)
Feet.
Don’t see much appeal past you pressing your feet against him through his pants as a tease
O – Oral
Giving: G E N E R O U S. He could eat you out for hours if you let him. A classic lay on his stomach wraps his arms around your thighs kinda guy. You can try squirming all you want but he’s not letting you go anywhere. Likes when you pull on his hair. Finds it cute when you try to pull him or push yourself closer to his mouth. Lots of sucking and rolling your clit with his tongue. If he thinks you’re especially deserving he’ll use his fingers too, rough and fast just as you like it. He’s not stopping until you cum at least twice.
Receiving: Has a decent amount of self-control, so unless he’s tied down or frustrated he won’t be very fidgety or vocal, probably just a lot of harsh breaths and low grunts. He’s naturally a dom, so you can expect one hand holding your hair into a ponytail controlling your movements. He’ll probably slump back casually in whatever seat he’s in, mouth parted lightly with small breaths escaping as he stares at you with eyes blown wide from desire. Likes fast and messy blowjobs when he’s angry or frustrated. Loves the feeling of your tight throat swallowing around his cock. Other times you can move whatever pace you want, just don’t be surprised if he starts fucking your throat by the end. He likes to hear you gag.
P – Place
He’ll fuck you anywhere in the house. On the couch, in the shower, the kitchen, on the patio. He’d be especially fond of eating you out while you sit on the island in the kitchen. Same goes for hotels and the tour bus. He’s not one for people watching, but the second you’re alone, he’ll take you on any surface he can.
Q – Quickie
I can only see these happening once in a blue moon because he likes to drag things out and take his time. Even if he randomly gets in the mood in public he’ll hold off until the event is done or find some excuse for you guys to get home. You can always expect him to be exceptionally rougher and faster than you’re used to. The pressure in his groin had him acting without logic, pulling apart your clothes, barely getting them off your body before raw dogging you against the door.
R – Risk
Meh. Like I said before, he’s just past the line of vanilla. Risky antics aren’t typically apart of your sex life, so I wouldn’t expect anything crazy like fucking in public. Maybe he’ll whip out vibrating panties. He may decide to tease you under the table at a business dinner one night, shoving his hands down your panties. But only for a few minutes before he makes some lame excuse and takes you home.
S – Stamina
Could probably last like 3 rounds
T – Toys
Probably uses handcuffs from time to time
U – Unfair
Like I said before, his main priority is making sure he can please you as much as possible. He probably wouldn’t go crazy with teasing. Likely just enough to make you beg him to fuck you, like rubbing you through your panties with his hand around your throat while he’s still fully clothed.
He hates being teased. The only way you’ll get away with teasing him is if he’s tied down to a chair. Good luck dealing with him after tho
V – Volume
Not super loud himself. Moans often but not loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Probably audible if someone passes by the room or the walls are thin. Grunts and groans loudest and deepest when he cums or when you deepthroat him. Throws in some dirty whisper into your ear here and there.
Likes for you to be loud though. Especially when he’s gotten jealous; hearing you scream his name gives him a real ego boost, particularly when he walks out between rounds and sees the members in the living room pretending they didn’t hear anything
W - Wild Card [Author’s Choice] (this one ain't so nsfw sorry lol)
I cannot stress enough how much this man loves you. You’re like a little angel to him. It’s pretty obvious that he’s a confident guy, but sometimes he gets worried that he’s not deserving of you, for reasons other than looks. That’s why he always spoils you so much, sexually and not. He hopes if he showers you enough with his love and gives you everything he believes you deserve, you’ll constantly be reminded about how much you love him and you won’t want to leave.
X - X-Ray [Dick Size]
Longer than most but not huge. I’d say 7 inches long and generously thick. You’re gonna feel the stretch every time honey.
Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]
When he’s home, not exceedingly high. You probably have sex like 3 or 4 times a week. When he’s sex-deprived on tour tho, he’s calling you like every other night to help him out.
Z – Zzz [After Sex]
I mentioned this before at the beginning, he probably needs like 5 minutes to catch his breath and he’s good. After he tends to you and you guys get all cuddly, he’ll probably fall asleep in like 30 mins to a 1 hr
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:
[breathes in]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i’m so fucking happy with this ending
it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn
i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking
i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this
so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!
kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR
also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them
yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me
from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao
at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god
KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY
also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)
the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it
to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY
anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao
okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene
pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too
also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((
petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real
i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM
pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture
the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal
okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf
OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand
sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF
rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three
i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS
then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah
then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide���
OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so
okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay
back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)
it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks
also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart
kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them
also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL
THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS
okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!
idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA
manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying
pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood
but also.. pete being possessive was h*t
there i said it and i don’t regret it
random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh
pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao
also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF
okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!
rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)
sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf
mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy
said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)
okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao
rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two
MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC
also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set
their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf
oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh
kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen
also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY
pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly
kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid
every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them
the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!
and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public
i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi
kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs
god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........
needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will
i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good
everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf
i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything
but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!
anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,
till then, stay safe ! bYE
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Cut My Hair
Trigger Warning- Mentions of suicide attempt and seizures
Having a brain tumor was never fun.
Everything was fine after junior year. Evan had an internship at Ellison State Park and despite still not having anyone to hang around with, it was still better than other years.
But then his head started to hurt. Then he had a seizure. And before he knew it, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and had to stay at the hospital and be prepared for surgery.
Surgery was extremely expensive, and it wasn't like he or his mom had money for that, but thankfully, his grandmother (on his mom's side) had sent down a check that covered over half of the payment. Evan felt a bit bad that she did that, because she was retired and she should be using that money for herself, not him.
He needed two different types of treatment. Chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Evan hated the radiation therapy, but it did help him. However, the surgery was still inevitable.
But the doctors were worried about a lack of socialization, so they decided to fix that. They decided they'd introduce Evan to another patient who was recently admitted into the hospital.
Someone who had just recently survived a suicide attempt, and was known for being emotionally unstable.
Yeah, that was definitely a smart idea.
Evan met him randomly at one point of day, with no warning whatsoever. Well, no forewarning, because the nurse came in and told him the mystery patient was coming in. Still, it wasn't enough time to mentally prepare himself.
The latter was named Connor, and he had long, brown hair that stopped at the bottom his chest. The normal hospital scrubs revealed red healing scars on his arms. He was like any other generic hospital patient, with heavy bags under his eyes.
"Sorry in advance that you're being dragged into my bullshit," Connor had mumbled, crossing his arms. "I'm Connor Murphy. You probably go to the same school as me, because there's only our school and the private school, and I'm positive I've seen you around."
That shouldn't have meant as much to Evan as it should've, but he was used to be forgetful, a single thought, in one ear and out the other, an outcast, but at least someone noticed him a little bit. "Y-Yeah, er, Eastwood High, r-right?"
Connor snapped his fingers. "Right! It's.. Evan, right? Evan Hansen? People pick... on you.." and he trails off, as a daunting truth falls on him. That he noticed Evan was being picked on, but didn't do anything. "I get picked on, too. I thought I'd make it worse if I tried interfering," he said defensively.
That piece of information doesn't scathe Evan, however, as he's finally been seen, and not as an inconvenience, not as the family friend, not as the burden full son, just another outcast at school, and as sad as that is, he can't help but mind it. Connor is just barely above him in the school's chain, but that only makes him more prime of a target. He doesn't find it very fair, but he'd never find the courage to smack talk the popular kids.
"N-no, no, you're okay! I.. I get it. And I'm Evan, yes," Evan was smiling like a huge dork, but he couldn't help it. He was finally seen, after so long, and even if the situation wasn't ideal, it still meant the world to him.
Connor was obviously trying to hold back a smile, but was failing. "So Hansen, got any hobbies?"
And Evan was off, talking about how before the doctors discovered his brain tumor that he had interned as an apprentice ranger at Ellison, and that he learned a ton about trees, and told Connor a little bit about it. Connor didn't make fun of him about it, though, unlike Jared, who'd say Evan must've had a tree kink or something, which was just a dick move because there wasn't a lot of things that sparked Evan's interest like that. Connor, in fact, talked about how everyone needed to help clean the environment and apparently he was passionate about that, so they had a common interest (Evan though, at least. He was never sure).
They hung out a lot and just talked. It made Evan feel normal, like there wasn't something inside his brain trying to kill him.
Jared visited with his family, and he actually seemed to feel bad for Evan. He'd purchased a small potted plant to help brighten up his hospital room. Evan appreciated it greatly.
Nearing the end of the week, Connor had told him he was going to be released at the start of the next week, and asked Evan for his number. Of course they exchanged numbers.
Evan wanted to spend as much time as possible with Connor, but it was growing harder for him to focus or not be throwing his guts out. He was having more seizures than ever.
Apparently this meant that the surgery had to be moved to an earlier date.
Evan didn't get a chance to tell Connor because it happened so fast. He felt incredibly bad. One minute his mom was talking to the surgeon, and the next he was given antibiotics to knock him out.
He had rested a lot, feeling weak from the surgery. It was successful according to the surgeon, which was a huge relief to him and his mother.
Did he forget to mention he had to get his head completely shaved? It felt embarrassing, but Heidi tried to help. She bought him a dark blue beanie so no one would bug him that much.
Evan was soon able to muster enough strength to look at his phone. He received a shit ton from Connor regarding the surgery.
Connor:
The nurses aren't letting me see u. Is everything ok?
Connor:
I tried asking them but they won't answer
Connor:
Ev, what's going on?
Connor:
Ev?
Connor:
I'm kinda freaked out. Pls respond asap
Connor:
Holy shit
Connor:
Ur mom told me. I'm sorry
Connor:
I hope it goes well
Connor:
Hey!! Heard the surgery went ok. How're u feeling?
Connor:
Heidi said ur resting. I'll leave u be
Connor:
Ok I lied
Connor:
I miss talking with u. But u need rest
Connor:
We'll hang out this summer, right? I'm somehow not going to rehab
Connor:
Fuck, I'll stop now. Just respond when ur better
Evan sighed. Connor claimed not to be talkative, but this proved otherwise. It was just too exhausting to try and corollate words that he pulled up SnapChat and took a photo of his bedsheets. He added a caption saying "hey, sorry I scared you" before sending it to the latter.
After a few minutes, Connor had responded with a picture of where his door used to reside. "It's okay," the caption read, "it isn't your fault"
A picture of the heart monitor was sent next. "What happened to your door?"
Connor sent back a picture of his black sketchbook. It wasn't opened. "Dad took it down. He thinks it'll help monitor me"
Evan moved the conversation to a chat, because he was running out of things to take pictures of, and switching apps seemed like a hassle to him.
"Well, he's trying"
"Can I tell you something?"
Of course, this made Evan anxious, but he knew Connor. In the five days they were together they already were growing close, probably because they were both incredibly lonely. Cliche as it might've sounded to anyone else, but Evan trusted him.
"Sure what is it?"
But of course Evan didn't get a response right away. SnapChat sent him a message saying 'Connor Murphy is typing...", and after he pulled up their conversation, there was the ever long three blue dots waiting for him, signaling that Connor was typing a response. But he took forever and it didn't help the anxiety quelling in his chest.
Then, he finally got a response.
"I like you. Like, a lot more than I probably should. And I know it's stupid, because we've only known each other for a week, but I know you're different than everyone else. You actually listen to me, you make me feel safe, and I don't want to loose you. I get it if you don't like the school shooter or whatever, I just don't want to loose you. Please."
And, of course Evan was flattered, and it was hard to corollate what he wanted to say through text, but he didn't want to keep Connor waiting so he could spiral, so he frantically typed out a response.
"I don't think it's stupid. I think it's super sweet, and I like you back. Even if you don't believe it, I'll do everything I can to prove it to you (also, don't call yourself a school shooter. You're so much more than that)"
Evan remembered how the next day Connor had came in, holding huge stuffed bear for him, smiling sheepishly as he set it on his bed, and asked him out on a date to A La Mode when he was released.
Evan had enthusiastically accepted, and couldn't help but anticipate the date.
Connor never made a big deal out of his hair being cut off. He did know Evan was self conscious of it, and made an effort to kiss the back of his head and reassure him that he didn't care about his lack of hair.
As much as this helped, Evan felt like he was being stared at in public, and he kept his head down, eyes glued to the floor. He did however notice Connor glaring at anyone who muttered a thing about it, or looked at him the wrong way.
One day, when he watching Chopped out of boredom, he received a text message from Connor, asking if he could come over. Evan told him he was more than fine with it, and waited for the latter to arrive.
What he wasn't expecting was Connor, with ear length hair.
"What, what h-happened? Did your dad, d-did he make you cut it?" Evan of course liked it, he thought it was cute, but it didn't stop his anxiety from going haywire.
"Nope," he popped the 'p', smiling, hiding something behind his back. "I did it willingly. Can you let me inside so I'll show you your surprise?"
Evan nodded, moving out of his way so Connor could step into the house. Afterwards, Connor said, "Now close your eyes, and take off your beanie."
Evan didn't know what that had to do with anything but complied, awkwardly standing there as he listened to Connor rummage through a paper bag, and felt something soft being placed onto his head.
Connor carefully put the beanie back on afterwards and gently took ahold of his shoulders. "Alrighty, now follow my lead."
Evan tried his best not to stumble around as Connor lead him to who knew where in his house. He felt Connor stop and stopped as well.
"Okay, you can open your eyes!" Connor told him, and he sounded oddly excited.
Evan slowly opened his eyes and gasped. There on his head, sat a brown wig, and his beanie was placed on top of it. It was styled a bit like Connor's, but it stopped near the end of his neck.
"Connor! Holy shit, h-how'd you do this?" Evan turned to him.
Connor was smiling and shifting from foot to foot. "Cynthia knows someone who makes wigs, so I went to her shop and cut my hair for your wig."
"You didn't have to do this..." he said softly.
"Evan, I'd cut my hair a million times if it'd make you happy," Connor took his hands and held them.
Evan swung them back and forth. "You're.. god. You're so amazing, but like, really corny, too."
Connor snorted. "Wow, I'm feeling the love, all right."
"Hey, thanks for, you know, doing this," Evan gently brushed a bang out of Connor's face.
"Well how else was I supposed to make you get a matching hair color?"
"Oh my god, shut up!"
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Hey everyone, uhh so I have some tea for you all.
So I met this guy (I’ll refer to him as J) during the last meeting of the quarter for the graphic design club last fall. Here’s everything that happened between December 5 through February 22.
December 5
Honestly, I haven’t noticed J at any of the previous meetings, but that one night, he just came up to me out of the blue and complimented me on my cozy winter gear.
So J and I happened to be taking Intro to Design that quarter and we talked about our group projects for the class, which we just turned in earlier that day (I had just pulled two consecutive all-nighters and had just taken a 3-hour nap prior to the meeting, so I was very sleep deprived at this point). We continued our conversation while walking down some stairs and outside the building, and he asked me about other clubs that I’m involved in, to which I told him that I’m the secretary and Head of Hufflepuff for the Harry Potter Alliance (HPA) and that I’m also in the ballroom dance club. He seemed very interested in HPA. He mentioned that he played second violin in the video game orchestra (VGO) and that they were having a quarterly concert that weekend. A friend in HPA had promoed the VGO concert the night before, but I wasn’t really interested, as I had no knowledge of video game music. J and I exchanged Instagram handles and later that night, I answered all of his questions about HPA. Then on Sunday, sort of at the last minute, I found out that a few friends from HPA were going to the VGO concert and I went along because $5 for a concert is not bad, and I haven’t been to an orchestra performance in a while. The concert was so much better than I expected!
December 9
Finals week just started and J randomly asked if I was studying on campus 👀
December 11
We met up at a boba shop near my apartment to study for the Intro to Design final (it was raining pretty hard and J refused to have me bike out to campus in the rain). We studied off a Quizlet set for about 3 hours until my laptop’s battery was running low, and then we talked for another couple hours! It turns out we have a lot in common! We’re both only children, 22 years old, left-handed, design majors (J is actually a design and managerial economics double major), and we play the violin (I used to play violin and cello, but I digress). Oh and we both have an iNTeResTinG injury story haha. Then, before we went our separate ways, he gave me a one-armed hug, which I couldn’t reciprocate because I had my arms full with a cup of boba and my umbrella.
December 12
J DM’ed me out of the blue asking for my Spotify wrapped up. I normally don’t give in to trends easily, and this was something I wasn’t really interested in sharing with the entire world, but I shared it with him anyways (Spoiler: It’s mostly Game of Thrones soundtracks, Taylor Swift, and BTS). Despite being an orchestra nerd, I find it really difficult keeping up with popular music, and my musical taste stays fairly consistent even several years later. I was kind of expecting him to laugh at my musical taste, but he actually complimented me for liking dramatic tv/film soundtracks. And then we arranged another study session right before the design final.
December 13
The Intro to Design final was supposed to be 50 questions, all multiple-choice, no trick questions. It was supposed to be really easy, and I thought we got almost everything down at the previous study session. So why were we having another study session right before the exam? I thought either he really wanted an A in the class, or he wanted to see me again before we went on winter break. Right before going in for the exam, he asked if I wanted to meet up again for a “post-final celebration” when we were done with the exam. Okay, now I was really starting to think he wanted to spend some more time with me before winter break 👀
So after the design final, we walked down to one of two boba shops on the edge of campus and downtown. We both ordered our drinks, he got some popcorn chicken, and we talked for four hours! I can’t remember everything we talked about, but time really flew by. And then, before we went home, he gave me a one-armed hug again.
December 14
I had plans to fly home to LA today. I had spent the previous night cleaning my apartment and packing stuff (I managed to forget to bring a pair of sneakers because, for some reason, dumbass me decided to wear heeled boots to the airport because ~fashion~). I was sitting in the airport, about to board the plane, when I got a message from J. He remembered that I was flying that day and was asking if I got home safely. Aww he actually cares. I told him that I would be boarding soon and will be offline for the next couple hours. And then I updated him when I got off the plane, when my parents picked me up at LAX, while we sat in the typical LA traffic, until we all made it home.
December 15 - January 5
Over the next few weeks of winter break, we messaged each other a couple times every day. We shared pictures of the holiday decorations in our home, and I shared pictures and video clips of my pet bunny too. On Chistmas Eve, he asked if I had any plans, to which I told him we were going out for dinner to celebrate my mom’s birthday. He wished my mom happy birthday and I passed the birthday wishes to my mom. “Hey mom, my friend says happy birthday.” “Thank you — who???” And I had to tell my mom about J (whoops). Her judgmental ass was not exactly happy to hear that J is a Caucasian dude from yeehaw country, and after showing her J’s Instagram feed, she was not a fan of his art style smh. Anyways, the day I was coming back to Davis, J was like AHHHH you’re back!!!!!!! Just pure excitement 💖
January 9 - 16
We met up at yet another boba shop after the first week of classes. Our meeting was shorter than all our previous meetings, because I had to bike back to give an apartment tour later that afternoon. Two weeks into the winter quarter, we met after our design studio classes and walked to an HPA meeting together. We also went to a graphic design club meeting together, after which he offered to drive me home so that I wouldn’t have to bike with the cold wind on my face. I trusted J at this point, so I gratefully accepted. I think my trust in him went up at least 10 times in this moment, because J managed to secure my small and heavy bike to the bike rack on the back of his car, which already had his bike strapped in. After dropping me off at my apartment, he invited me out for dinner that weekend (it was also MLK weekend).
January 18
J picked me up at 7. The restaurant he chose was hella ~ f a n c y ~. It was an Italian restaurant downtown with dim lighting and pasta priced at $13 - $16. He said he didn’t know the place would be that fancy and that he trusted Yelp’s description of “casual Italian.” I told a friend about our sort-of-date night and she thinks J picked a date-y restaurant on purpose 👀 Oh and my mom went the extra mile of writing down J’s name, the place we were going to, and I was to call home at 10 PM (I ended up getting back and called an hour early).
February 14 - Valentine’s Day ❤️
Unfortunately, J never came to another HPA meeting because the campus radio station, KDVS, holds meetings at the same time, and he’s trying to get a job with them. And we don’t really see each other very often because design classes are usually 3-hours long and J is really busy with 5 classes. But J has been super excited about Yule Ball ever since he met me. J came over while I was tabling for ticket sales. He mentioned that VGO was going to see Sonic that night, and invited me to hang with VGO. Let me tell you, it was quite an experience and definitely not the typical Valentine’s Day date.
We pulled into a Sonic drive-in for dinner (because gotta get in that Sonic mood lol). A girl introduced herself as D (name altered to protect identity, of course). She clearly has some sort of leadership role in the group because everyone pays attention to her, but she constantly makes jokes about being everyone’s daddy. The jokes are so vulgar and obscene. It was like weirdest video game nerd and band kid hybrid (J later tells me she’s a violinist. What?! Orchestra people are usually super chill lol). After dinner, we get in our cars and head down the street to the movie theater. The VGO had reserved seats in Row J. J and I had just booked our tickets several hours earlier and we were in Row F. Throughout the movie, someone in the theater yelled at every pivotal moment (including, yes, that Tails reveal in the post credits). J thoroughly enjoyed the movie and laughed along with whomever was yelling behind us, while I knew absolutely nothing going into it, except that Sonic is a blue hedgehog that can run super fast. J also gave one additional bit of info before the movie: Sonic really likes chili corn dogs for some strange reason???
So that’s how my Valentine’s Day went lol
February 18
J came by around 3 in the afternoon, right before we were going to pack up for the day, and purchased a Yule Ball ticket. He’s obviously very excited to go to Yule Ball with me but he says he doesn’t know how to dance. I told him we have a waltz lesson planned. He’s like aww and says he wants me to personally teach him (my heart 💕). And as always, he gave me a hug before leaving to go to class. Recently, I noticed that J has been giving full hugs instead of his usual one-armed hugs, though it depends on the situation.
February 22
✨❄️ Y u l e B a l l ❄️✨
J and I arrived separately at Yule Ball because I had to help set up the venue for the event and I had spent the entire day working on an Azkaban wanted poster prop and literally finished it two hours before our meeting time for setting up the venue. The dance was supposed to start at 7 PM and J got there early enough to help me out with last-minute decorations. I had signed up to be in charge of the photobooth from 7 to 7:30, but no one came for pictures during that 30-minute period, so I was free for the rest of the night. J and I had a fantastic time admiring the detailwork in the decorations around the venue and laughing and dancing to the weird selection of 2000s music. J did pretty okay with learning waltz basics and I gave him tips here and there on standing in closed frame, balance, the slight tension in the left hand, etc.
Sometime towards the end of the night, my ballroom friend pulled me aside for a bathroom chat and asked if we’re dating. I don’t know??? We haven’t decided to call it official so ??
After helping clean up everything at the end of the night, J dropped off a friend and right before turning to drop me off (I live across the street from that friend), he remembered that I hadn’t had actual food all day prior to Yule Ball (aww he actually cares, and he probably wanted some extra time with me even though my apartment was right there). So we went downtown for (a very late) dinner. While we chatted over food and boba, our conversation drifted towards soundtrack music and I mentioned The Theory of Everything soundtrack, my favorite soundtrack besides Game of Thrones. J immediately searched up The Theory of Everything soundtrack album and streamed it on the way home (that’s some serious dedication right there), and he liked it!
Oh and I forgot to mention that J forgot to bring a jacket and I had a very warm scarf and coat, so we held onto each other with a one-armed hug while we walked to his car. I really love his hugs, one-armed or full hugs.
I usually post a picture from Yule Ball every year so here’s this year’s! Yep, that’s J. And we’re both Ravenclaws :)
I’ll end this post here, so I don’t end up with a romance novel in a single post lol
#i've told some discord friends and their reactions were like omg pls get married already#i'm dYinG from all the cute reactions#harry potter#harry potter alliance#yule ball#yule ball 2020#uc davis#j#wow look esther actually talks
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[QUEST o2. - E N T H R O N E D]
(written by @bebemoon)
mentions: @ayzrules @elissastillstands & @armadasneon
. . . Quest 2 .
A few days passed without word from Inferna, and Neddy was beginning to think she'd been forgotten.
A pair of players were marrying in the gardens the week following the meadow fair. And Neddy made an appearance out of sheer curiosity-
The ceremony was within a tumble of pale pink blossoms beneath a flowering tree, and the fae—and even all who were stuck on the level—were in attendance, surrounding the couple of Moonstone players. Neddy recognised the groom as the gleaming Moonstone jouster from the fair. The bride was a tiny Healer with hair matching the blossoms overhead and a veil of glimmering chain mail set with white crystals. They seemed blissful- so much so that Neddy wondered about them.
Besides, was this a binding union in the real world? Probably not since Finvarra was the one to marry them, and Neddy rather doubted the Prince was ordained for such an affair. He wasn't even real.
Maybe it didn't matter to them- at any moment, any of them could be skewered with a sword and die at once in two worlds. Might as well live happily and love when possible.
Neddy shook her head. What an outlandish situation they all found themselves in . . .
-
There was a celebration afterwards, but in Yue City. Understandably, the happy couple wanted to be able to eat together as well as remain free of the fae.
Neddy stayed behind to put her feet up on the feast table alongside some of Finvarra's tittering wives to watch the dancing for a while. The feeling of isolation began to creep up on her once again.
Suddenly, there was a familiar trilling from her rucksack at her feet, barely audible over the fairy music. It was the sound the Plexus' messaging function made when a new message was received.
Excitedly, Neddy dug into the rucksack and drew the Plexus out. She swiped the screen, and the new message appeared. It was from Inferna- "Jack's Girlfriend" [fire emoji] in the Plexus.
The message read: WYD ???
Neddy replied with a long message detailing the wedding she'd just witnessed, overseen by the Prince himself.
To which the redhead pithily replied, "Bruh xD".
Neddy grinned at her screen.
Inferna went on to ask Neddy if she was ready to take on Aydina, and when Neddy indicated that she was "ready as she would ever be", the other girl sent back:
“Btw I invited 2 other ppl to join us for dodgeball- Morningstar and Balestra if u wanted to look them up! Hope that’s okay 💖💖💖 say hi to jack 4 me!!!!”
Attached to this was a selfie of the candy-redhead eating the apricot tartlets Neddy had paid her with.
Morningstar wasn't a name that Neddy recognised- but Balestra, she knew immediately. She was another Moonstone player- a celestial knight- with a griffin mount. If Neddy wasn't very much mistaken, the griffin ate some of the garden's fae NPCs. And Finvarra still recounted the incident like some sort of disastrous Biblical tale.
Maybe it would be good to have someone like that on her side? If Balestra's griffin ate Aydina, would that be an automatic win?
Neddy replied simply to Inferna with a thumbs-up emoji, but she couldn't help feeling a twinge of doubt.
-
I C T U I U M . to . M E R M A I D . C O V E .
Inferna and her two companions were already waiting in the level 30 foyer—a wide glass room looking into the beachy landscape beyond with huge, flat screens showing players already in action on the level—when Neddy blinked in.
Seeing the sparkling sea spread out to her left, Neddy's first inclination was to start singing “La mer”.
Inferna's disappointment that Neddy had shown up sans Jack was instantly perceptible. The redhead pushed her lip out and raised one hand to her hip.
“Where’s Jack?” she said, pouting dramatically. “I even brought him a huge thing of sugar cubes! And a fresh batch of sauce.”
Neddy pulled an apologetic face. "Sorry, he's been M.I.A. for a couple of days," she told her. "He does that, I'm finding."
A slip of a girl with a crown of curls and a longsword on her hip was leaned up against one of the glass walls. She nodded at Neddy by way of a greeting.
Inferna jerked her chin at her. "That's Balestra," she said, grinning. "Moonstone rider like yourself. Maybe you know her?"
Neddy didn't want to bring up the gardens fiasco in case it was a sore spot with Balestra, and so she lied. "Oh, er, no- I-I don't believe we've met, actually," she stammered. "I'm Neddy. I swear I'm a real rider- my mount is just . . . I don't think he'd be much good at dodgeball anyway."
Three pairs of eyes regarded Neddy. She didn't know why she was so nervous, but she knew everyone could tell that she was.
At least Inferna seemed to be enjoying herself, as usual. She snorted in the silence. "And that's Morningstar over there," she said, thumbing the other player in the foyer.
The third pair of eyes were almost too haunting to properly look into. They belonged to a ribbon of white slashed with violent red- a crown of berries, Neddy realised. Intimidatingly, a crystal scythe lay across her shoulders and her arms were draped over either side of the polearm. She looked a bit crucified.
The phantom made no move to acknowledge Neddy. However, her strange golden eyes stayed pinned to her.
Neddy merely raised her hand in a meek wave. "Hello."
Morningstar said nothing.
Inferna clapped her hands to break the bizarre tension between the four of them. "Well, let's go kick some ass!" she declared and punched the air. “I just confirmed with the other seven people who agreed to join our party. Three Ammolite, two Obsidian, two Moonstone.”
Neddy was impressed. Inferna was certainly on top of things. Perhaps more apricot tartlets were in order.
Inferna flashed them a cheeky grin. “Let’s go down to the beach?”
-
Neddy considered herself fortunate to have gotten some intimidating figures on her side for this dodgeball match- especially considering the others Inferna had rounded up. Not an inspiring bunch. But Inferna had only been looking to fill out the team.
Mermaid Cove was beautiful. The beach was blush and the sky was bright. The harbour was bustling at one end of the shore and magnificent pirate ships bobbed in the offing. Up the beach, giant pink conch shells were set upright in the sand and hollowed out into stalls that sold necessities like medi-elixirs, pep potions, and replacement gear. An old one-eyed woman with a blue parrot on her shoulder was selling fried octopus tentacles in shell-shaped baskets. A length of fishing net was draped over the market area and all manner of scavenged sea treasures and seashells were strung up, dangling over the customers as they browsed.
Neddy wanted to roam the market area for a while, but Inferna was all business.
Inferna led them through the intro ordeal, having one of the other players activate the in-game event with the NPC shopkeeper, since Inferna herself had already completed the level and therefore could not activate it again.
Inferna tapped her foot impatiently as the NPC ran through her whole sob story about how the mermaids had created Angel’s Breath to revive drowned humans, how the pirate queen Aydina and her eleven crew members had killed off all the mermaids to keep Angel’s Breath for herself-
Finally, the NPC said, “If you get the pirates to leave the town, I’ll show you where the last Angel’s Breath is hidden.”
“Great, let’s go,” said Inferna, then she directed the rest of the group to the shoreline.
As they stood on the beach, she threw her finger in the direction of the sea where a massive dome was rising slowly out of the water.
"Look, look!" Inferna shouted. "There it is!"
The others crowded around to watch in awe as the dome continued to surface, throwing off water and a terrible mechanical noise that scraped the ears.
"We're going into that thing?" Neddy asked, her stomach flipping.
Meanwhile, a pirate ship-complete with a skull and crossbone flag-sailed into view. Inferna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, in a sec,” she replied. “Aydina has some dialogue that we have to sit through. God fucking damn, but the NPC shit in this game gets so tedious.”
It wasn’t much longer before Aydina, the pirate queen, sauntered up over to them, her crew right behind her. With an unruly mane of fiery red curls, fierce eyes, and dressed in sheer black chiffon that billowed dramatically in the breeze, with lacy black gloves that went up to her elbows and a pair of badass black boots to match.
Inferna cut to the chase. Apparently, sometimes you could skip the intro dialogue if you talked faster than the NPCs. “Yo, Aydina! Get the fuck out of here.”
The NPC gave Inferna a disparaging look. “How are you going to make me?”
“I challenge you to a dodgeball game,” she replied tightly, and Aydina nodded her agreement.
“Time to go!” Inferna crowed, evidently pleased that she’d successfully gotten Aydina to skip through most of the annoying dialogue.
A narrow walkway of roped-together driftwood began to rise out of the sea. It did not look the least bit steady, and Neddy was ready to forego the whole thing just at the sight of it.
The sea is beautiful, yes. But it is also crushing and fathomless. And Neddy had always had a fear of it. The prospect of going beneath the ocean's surface was almost debilitatingly frightening.
She hated herself for wishing Callum was there to hold her hand.
But no sooner had the thought of him crossed her mind that Inferna was taking her hand and pulling her towards the rickety walkway.
“Come on, move your ass,” Inferna said, shooting her a playful look as she tugged her along. “Be careful during the actual game, though. Aydina can randomly let water into the court and drain it out whenever she wants. It’s the biggest pain ever.”
Neddy wanted to sink inside herself at that, but- it felt almost as if Inferna was passing some of her chaotic strength through her fingers into Neddy’s. And her feet moved to follow after the redhead.
-
They marched into the dome, and the door sealed off behind them, metal clanging as the dome sank back under the sea to rest on the sea floor. The dome itself was made out of some kind of transparent material, allowing them to see the various sea creatures and coral formations surrounding the place.
Inferna paused, causing Neddy to pause too. The redhead seemed to have noticed a throng of excited players making their way back to the foyer, where they’d be able to watch the game on the screens.
“What?” Neddy wondered, dividing a look between the Inferna’s face and the other players.
“If we win-” Inferna cut herself off and then winked at Neddy. “When we win, those players will be swarming all over us the second we get back to land- for the Angel’s Breath. Best to have a few ictuium potions on hand.”
Inferna said as much to Balestra and Morningstar as well. Then, Aydina was explaining the rules of the game to them.
“If the ball-” and here she summoned the “dodgeball” out of thin air, which was an enchanted turtle shell- “hits you, and then hits the ground, you’re out. If you catch the ball, you’re safe. If the ball bounces off of you and one of your teammates catches it, you’re both safe. But, if the ball bounces off of you and someone on the other team catches it, you’re out.”
Inferna cast Neddy a sideways glance. “Don’t get hit,” she advised. “That thing packs a punch on its own, but depending on her mood, Aydina can make it stab you with barnacles, shock you, or spray disgusting gross poisonous stuff that’ll kill you before the time is up.”
Aydina rolled the ball over to where Inferna was standing. “I’ll let you guys have the first go,” she said, smirking confidently at them, looking directly at Inferna. “Since I feel sorry for you. How many brain cells do you have, to be wearing such an atrocious hat?”
“Fuck you!” Inferna shot back as she picked up the ball. “You’re such a fucking cunt.”
The pissed-off redhead gave the other eleven people a questioning look. “Well, should I go for it? Or do one of you guys want to do the honors?”
-
[ You can pick up here or back up a bit or do as you like if you end up taking this quest up ! No instructions for Neddy (but keep in mind she’s not a strong player), just do as you like and make sure they win ! ^^ And, if you need any help at all, just ask either Ayz or me~ ]
#enthroned#selah#moonstone#written by fanfan#q2#MASSIVE THANKS TO ALLY FOR ALL THE ACTUAL GAMEPLAY INFO (she wrote some of this herself !!!) and of course for inferna's dialogue~#C O M P L E T E#once again MASSIVE MASSIVE THANKS TO AYZ that whole last bit in the dome was basically her writing askjhfskjm#writing#neddy
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Words I Couldn’t Say || Park Jisung
Pt. 1 Pt. 2
a/n: hello! oof i’m sorry it took me so long to write part 2 of jisungs au. school has been too much work oof junior year is tough. i also got carried away with writing the second part lol. part 2 is around 2.6k words oof. anyway, i hope you guys like part 2! send requests or just message me!oof i’d love to make friends and mutuals. have a great day! thank you for reading <3
make sure to read part 1!
Jisung kept his promise and met you outside your house the next day. The both of you walked to school, Jisung explaining the different teachers and how each of them act. It’s more, Jisung complaining about his teachers and giving you negativity about them.
“I’m not kidding Y/N, Mr. Lee is such a weird teacher. He freaks out over the weirdest things and he seems to hate it when students bring water into class. I’m betting, he’s an alien from space and is spying on us before the rest of his pod comes and takes over the world.”
“No Jisung, you’ve got it all wrong. He’s obviously a merman, who would transform when he comes into contact with water. And he obviously fell in love with a land person and because of that, he was shunned from his merpeople pod since falling in love with humans are not acceptable. He decided to live his life with them and he’s just trying to keep his secret so his merpeople world would be safe. Also, you’re not doing a very good job at making me excited for my first day of school.”
“Okay first, it wasn’t my intention to get you excited. I was just going to show you around and educate you about our school. And second, you sure do love love stories huh? A poetry lover and a hopeless romantic. You’re quite the person Y/N.”
Once you both got to school, Jisung was greeted with a group of boys, all with different vibrant colors. There were a total of five boys who came up to Jisung.
“Hey Jisung! Who’s this? Hello I’m Chenle!” the boy with green hair and a wide smile greeted you.
“Hello Chenle. My name is Y/N and I’m new here. I’m in Jisung’s grade and he wanted to help and show me around school today.”
“Ah no, Jisung will do more than show you around, he’ll introduce you to your new friends! Right Jisungie?” responded the boy with blond hair and highlights of blue, red, green, and pink.
“Ahh right, so this is Hyuck, Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno, and Chenle already introduced himself. They’re all seniors and they’re also part of my dance team. That’s how we met one another.”
“You know,” the boy you were just introduced to as Jaemin puts his arm around your shoulder. “I believe you can fit with the six of us perfectly. And hey! At least Jisung has someone to hang out with once we graduate high school this year. He won’t be a little lonely blueberry.”
And Jaemin wasn’t wrong. Just like that the six boys became your best friends for your entirety of junior year. You easily fell into their group, getting close to each one of them in a different and unique way. You found that you had something in common with each of them. Hyuck loved cooking while you loved to bake, so it was common for the both of you to make meals for the five other boys. Chenle had a passion for mathematics and was on the mathlete team and instead of teasing him like the other boys, you encouraged him and assisted him as he would be practicing on different equations and problems. Jaemin and you would be often found doing outdoor activities as it was fun to get outside every once and awhile. On days when the both of you wouldn’t be studying, you and Jeno would get into intense games of table tennis. Renjun was the student body president, with you being the vice president so the both of you would spend a lot of time together, mostly complaining at how dumb the student body is. You even managed to befriend Mark, a college freshman who is part of their dance team unit and also got to meet the other sixteen dancers part of the dance team as a whole.
With Jisung, it was different. It seemed as if you and Jisung were always significantly closer. You had a majority of classes with Jisung and so you were always together. Since you and Jisung were constantly at school together, the both of you would create inside jokes that the others would never get. And living close to one another, the both of you would randomly leave the house and go on night adventures when school was too much to handle. Jisung would constantly come over your house, a plate with your favorite, and shyly ask for help on math. You and Jisung have even become close with one another’s family. You spoke daily to Jisung’s parents and Jisung to yours. There were nights when Jisung would stay over your house for dinner and would hear all the embarrassing stories of you when you were younger. Other nights, You would be at Jisung’s house, having a Star Wars movie marathon along with his parents who would constantly show you Jisung’s old baby pictures.
Chenle would always joke around with you, talking about how you stole his best friend to which you would simply respond with, “He loves me more Chenle. And it’s your fault you’re a year older. We juniors got to stick with each other.” It became a routine, for you and Jisung, to meet with one another on Sundays at the SM Diner and then go to “Books on Books.” It was something that neither ever bothered to invite the others too. The both of you just figured the boys wouldn’t want to stay in a bookstore and read for hours. They would rather be playing video games or go outside playing basketball. On Sundays, you can Jisung would trade books, read them throughout the week, and then come back next Sunday and express your thoughts on the book. You would read his favorite Sci-Fi book and Jisung would have to endure through reading a romance or poetry book that was your favorite.
“Ah Y/N. Romance! Again? Don’t you get tired of reading the same love story over again but just with different names and titles?”
But no matter how many times Jisung would complain about the same cheesy love gesture of giving flowers or the confessing of undying love, Jisung would still come back next Sunday, the book finished and completed, as he hands it to you and murmurs a small, “Okay I’ll give it to you, the book was sort of cute.” It was a tradition. Something that you truly cherished in your heart.
☆
It was another Sunday, and you and Jisung were sitting in the chairs near the romance book section. Both you and Jisung sat there in silence as you were both reading one another’s book choice. You’ve decided to make Jisung read To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. It was one of your favorite books and you just loved the relationship between Peter and Lara Jean. It makes you want to have your own fake boyfriend and fall in love with them. The idea of falling in love in general, was something you wanted.
“Hey Y/N?”
“Mhm”
“Why do you always love reading romance books?”
You looked up from The Son of Neptune, the book Jisung wanted to share with you this week.
“I mean, I get why you love poetry. The way the structure is formed and how it sounds like music if you read it just right. And how poetry is usually written short but has a lot of meaning to it. But I don’t understand why you love romance books.”
You looked at Jisung and stayed silent. You were thinking as to why you loved romance when you looked back at him and spoke.
“I don’t know really. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve never been in love. And I feel as if I won’t ever get to be in love really. The fact that to me, someone falling in love with me would just be, nonexistent. I’m aware I have a lot of flaws and so it just seems like it won’t be easy for someone to fall in love with me. I mean yes, there are people who love me like my parents and family and friends. But, falling in love is a different story. It’s different to love and to be in love. I guess, from reading romance books, I can feel as if I’m someone’s whole world. I can feel as if I am the main character who is being asked to prom or being given flowers to or to be confessed to. No matter how cheesy. To feel as if someone would do anything for me, to make me feel loved. To choose me, always. To be, I don’t know, their number one best?”
Jisung looked at you with a sparkle you couldn’t recognized. He looked at you, with a soft expression and replied with, “I believe you can fall in love with anyone Y/N. Your haven’t met anyone you couldn’t love. Loving people is a characteristic of you. You always find things to love people about. Falling in love isn’t your problem. You’ve got enough love to give everyone in the world. Falling in love requires the right person and for them to love you back. I couldn’t imagine someone not falling in love with you, Y/N”
☆
It was a few weeks after you spoke to Jisung about falling love when you noticed; he was right. Falling in love required the right person and you couldn’t believe you found him. It was late 6 pm at night, and you and Renjun were still at school, working on Prom. Prom was a few weeks away and you and Renjun needed to finish organizing the dance. The both of you were also in a study group for AP Statistics that worked for 2 hours and so that’s why the both of you were still at school. You sighed heavily as your phone rang. You checked and saw that Jisung has texted you.
Blueberry Boy: Y/NNNNNN where are u? ur not home i need help with math? care to help your ever so loving friend?
You: oof sorry jisung, not tonight. i’m still at school with renjun, working on prom stuff. we’re almost done but i’m really tired and i haven’t eaten dinner yet. i can help you out tomorrow if that’s okay? after your dance practice?
“You texting Jisung?” Renjun said, just as you hit send.
“Mhm. He was asking me where I was.”
Renjun looked at you with a serious expression.
“You know, I’ve never gotten a ‘where are you’ text from him before.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean Y/N is that Jisung is different with you. I’ve never seen him so caring for someone else. Me and the boys, we’ve all been friends with Jisung for 6 years, basically grew up with him, and not once has he ever cared for us the same way he cares about you. And never, in all those years, has he talked about a girl the same way he was talked about you. You make him happy Y/N. Really happy. I hope the both of you will keep your relationship, it’s pure.”
“Renjun, we’re just friends.”
“I know Y/N, all I’m saying is to be careful. If you don’t have the same feelings as Jisung has, don’t run away from him. He cares about you Y/N. He loves you.”
As Renjun finished his last sentence, Jisung came into the room, holding a box of your favorite burger and fries from SM Diner in one hand and a vanilla milkshake in the other.
“Hey Y/N! Renjun. I brought you food Y/N and sorry Renjun, I just figured you already had dinner.”
“It’s okay Jisungie, I’ll just starve as you clearly love Y/N more than me”
“Jisung, what are you doing here?” you ask while giving him a confused look.
“Well I figured, since you haven’t eaten dinner yet, I would bring some food to you. It’s your favorite. Cheeseburger with extra lettuce and grilled onions and extra sauce. I also brought you a milkshake with a spoon because I know how much you love eating your shakes with spoons.”
You stared at Jisung, but this time with admiration and genuine.
“Oh also! You’re parents left to go watch a movie so I figured I should walk with you home. I’m not letting you walk home alone and Renjun lives the other way. I figured I can help both you and Renjun’s mom if she offers a ride. I won’t let you walk home alone in the dark, I can keep you company.” Jisung finishes speaking and gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.
☆
It was that moment. At that moment, you knew. You do love, and you are now in love. In love with the boy with blue hair. In love with the boy who remembers your favorite foods. In love with the boy who remembered the smallest details about you. So small that even you couldn’t remember. You were in love with the boy who can listen to you go on and on about how much you loved a poem. In love with the boy who makes it a habit to always walk with you to school and wait for you after school just so you can walk back home together. You were in love with the boy who would come over your house and hug you and listen to you as you cried about how stressful junior year was and how you just wanted the world to stop. You were in love with the boy, who welcomed you into this new town with open arms and made you feel so loved that it hurt whenever he wasn’t around. You were in love with the boy who became your best friend. In love, with the boy standing right in front of you.
It was just Jisung and you in “Books On Books” like usual only this particular Sunday was different. You looked up at Jisung, who looked back at you nervously, holding a bouquet of carnations with specks of baby’s breath. In your hand, was the book he decided that you should read this week, opened at the pages where everything was blacked out except a few words exaggerating them.
You came into my life very unexpectedly. It was exciting and frightening, the feelings I would get whenever you were around. It was exciting, for how you always manage to make me the happiest person alive, and frightening for how much power I decided to give you over my heart. I can’t ignore the feeling of love and happiness I feel whenever I’m around you. I love you. I’m in love with you. And so I have to ask you, are you in love with me?
Jisung looks at you with a scared impression. He’s afraid of what you’re going to say. Afraid of if he will leave the bookstore broken hearted or bursting with love.
“I couldn’t tell you. It’s hard to confess to someone face to face, actually speaking words. I have to give credit to all those characters in those romance books who confessed face to face. It’s the words I couldn’t say and have tried to multiple times. I finally had the guts to do it but through a book. A bit pathetic, I know, but Y/N. Do you?”
You looked at Jisung, with love. Your eyes sparkle at the sight of him and your heart flutters as as you see him extend his arms, giving you the bouquet. Of course you loved him. Without a doubt.
“Yes. Yes Jisung. I do love you. I’m in love with you.”
#nct#nct dream#nct au#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct dream au#nct dream scenarios#nct dream imagine#park jisung#jisung park#nct jisung#jisung au#jisung scenarios#jisung imagine#park jisung au#park jisung imagine#park jisung scenarios
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MONSTA X as Roommates
wow sorry this has been a LONG absence. i am swimming in school work and deadlines atm so bear w me. my final exams are this year so i am trying my best love u all <3
(all gif creds to the original owners)
Shownu:
( AN ACTUAL ANGEL )
okay so he’s a typical male but he tries really really hard okay?
he’ll say he will do his chores, make his bed or do his laundry
but he’s a busy sweetie
so he’ll fall asleep in a crumpled duvet
and it melts your heart so you have to do it
and he’ll always thank you super sincerely where his eyes disappear into his face and honestly ur roommate is the most adorable human alive.
u always catch him being an actual dad
he’ll be in his favourite sofa crevice, scratching his chin w his arm up in that position the bois make fun of him for.
and you have to try with all your might to not burst out laughing
instead you send a picture to the mx groupchat.
it’s called tender blackmail.
he also falls asleep on the sofa a lot but u can’t move him so
another dad thing he does is that he’s lowkey super protective
he’s not often an emotional person so it’s quite well hidden
but he does worry if you’re home later than him and will probably call u.
and will let out a prominent sigh of relief when you respond
lets you wear the baggy shirts he doesn’t wear anymore or so he claims
it just makes him chuckle when his shirts completely drown you
you also get to see a v sincere side to shownu
you can clearly see how his performing on top of variety shows exhausts him (esp when he claims variety is not his thing)
but he’ll never snap at you when he’s like that
because he’s so sincerely appreciative of having you around
but doesn’t disguise his dumbness
you guys can’t have many expensive ornaments
bc he’ll go to thoughtfully polish it to cheer you up
and end up breaking it
he’s a literal sweetheart that tries so hard, love him please
Wonho:
(wOW i would protecc this man w all my heart. purest)
he would be the sweetest roommate in th world
even tho he’s busy 24/7
he’ll sometimes randomly buy you your usual coffee
or he’ll see you’re almost out of milk or something
where he’ll promptly restock so you don’t have to
he’s incredibly thoughtful
it makes you a lil sad sometimes when he’s particularly busy
bc you miss him like crazy
but when he gets the chance, he makes sure he hangs out w you and dedicate some set time to his best friend
bc he really appreciates you
you’re both each other’s main support
he knows that when he walks in through the door after a shit day
you’ll be sat on the sofa ready to hear him out
it leads to way too many profound chats till like 3 in the morning
he’s a lil’ bit protective
on the rare occasion he’s not working and you’re not home
he’ll be snapchatting you, texting you
‘wonho i was just at the gym?’ ‘can i come too??!!”
and then suddenly you’re hanging out as per
living w wonho is the chillest thing
except when he neglects to wear a shirt when he’s having a lazy day
and you’re red in the face, throwing fabrics at him to cover him damn self.
friends or not it’s illegal for wonho to walk around like that
you both gel without arguments
you like the same films, music and even like to eat at similar places
never any arguments over takeout lol
you even end up giving each other skin care tips
which makes for a pretty blissful living arrangement if you ask me.
Minhyuk:
(a visual??????)
okay you two are the ultimate best friends.
you have a long list of movies and tv series/anime that you two have to watch together
primarily because you know how whiny and salty he will be if u break it
you’re both pretty relaxed roommates
like the dishes don’t need to be done right this second
magically chores still get done
thankfully, minhyuk isn’t the typical gross male
but he will probably shamelessly steal food that you have labelled
which is probably the only source of any conflict in your house.
when you’re both at home
you better believe this loud ass will wake you up super early to go do something together
“time to bond (y/n)!!!!” “what r u, 5?”
but you’re lowkey kinda grateful that he wants to do stuff with you
since you’re always afraid you’ll lose him to his schedule
you’re still super super close
you guys create your own dance routines and memorise current choreos that are trending
you prank each other, which may involve you printing pre-debut pictures of minhyuk and plastering them everywhere
you have you’re own handshake that may or may not last for like 5 minutes
and if either of you forget it oH THE b e t r a y a l
did i mention that minhyuk is a massive drama queen?
but in a funny way (unlike a certain member who’s about to follow)
you will have named your shared apartment, no doubt
and will reference its name in the invites of the house parties you guys host
you basically act like siblings when their parents go out for the evening... 24/7...
Kihyun:
(his smile could sAVE lives. it’s so bright)
the ‘drama queen’ i previously mentioned
if u wanted a relaxed roommate, dude look elsewhere
i reckon yoo kihyun is a clean freak
he is mad about a rota of chores, to ensure it’s equal
but i can imagine him redoing them anyway if they weren’t done exactly how he normally does it.
this causes some some minor bickering
it’s always resolved when you ask what you’re doing for dinner that night
you guys have this insane ability to just drop arguments in a flash
which is why the intense cleaning regime never bothers you
plus, it contents your parents that you don’t live in a pig sty
(and silently wish that they could hire kihyun to clean on the side)
but beneath the bitterness, he can be super thoughtful
he’ll remember a food you were craving that one time
and suddenly you’ll find it in the cupboards
when you ask, he’ll shrug it off
but he lowkey loves to cook for you.
you guys will love to buy furniture together
prepare yourself for many trips to look at random decorations or house plants to liven up your two dead souls
relishing the simple joys like buying new plates or cutlery like the secretly middle aged people you are.
surprisingly, yall have a v similar ideal
i can just picture this modern (not to mention spotless), monochromatic apartment in seoul
mx and your friends will be so jealous of how well you run your appartment together
although they quietly question your friendship, yall get it each other
your closeness is measured in bitterness and insults
and you don’t really need anyone to understand your friendship
bc it works
Hyungwon:
(ONE OF THE BEST LOOKING PPL IN KPOP HANDS DOWN hOLD me)
this living arrangement will be the exact opposite to living w kihyun
“organised mess”
it’s just you guys are always so busy with your careers and lives
so tidiness happens to be the bottom of the priority list
except when parents come over
then you’re doing hurdles over each other to tidy up
trying to find as many convenient dark spots in the place to hide unwashed laundry
when you are both at home
it’s a quiet contentedness in each other's company
you’ll most likely message each other instead of yell
but when you do call out to him, it usually takes 3-6 times before you receive at least a mumble in response
you’ll probably text each other when you’re right next to each other
well, if hyungwon’s even awake
you will definitely leave passive aggressive notes to each other
‘close the cupboard u moron - love (y/n) xoxo’
and hyungwon will reply on the same cupboard door
‘even ur writing is loud omg - hyungwon’
and the door will be wide ajar
and you’re genuinely not sure whether he hasn’t noticed the actual issue or is blatantly ignoring it
nevertheless, it’s your guys’ sense of humour
you guys probably stay up a lot together when you’re both free and not feeling up to doing much
a few beers while watching some b-rate movie to laugh at
but the film will soon be forgotten and you’ll be talking about anything from love to what vegetable you identify with
and end up falling asleep on the sofa next to each other at 6 am
and the cycle starts all over again
Jooheon:
(one of the sweetest dimpled people alive)
a golden, pure apartment
you guys are inseparable and the cutest friends alive
yall really take care of each other, even if its a little out yours’ way
you both can immediately sense when something is wrong
when you drag your feet into the flat, your face completely drained
jooheon is alert and ready to let you rant about your day
and he’ll offer to pay for food that night or cook something
likewise with him. you just sense when he needs a cry or a moan.
you guys are also super goofy
jumping around like 10 year olds to your favourite playlists
having your own lip sync battles and completely slaying the raps
i can also imagine you two having a redecorating day together
you playfully bickering over a shade of blue for the living room
idk it just seems like something you guys would do together
you also leave sweet notes for each other
especially if you don’t see each other at home for a while
you’ll wake up to a lil’ sticky note wishing you a pleasant day
it’s honestly sickly sweet
you’ll prank and tease the other members when they come over
because you guys are an unstoppable, mischievous duo
unfortunately shownu doesn’t really scare like jooheon does
so the tables over turn :/
jooheon has also put a ban on horror movies
because he’s so jumpy and he knows he’ll never live it down
you guys will also share a bed in a completely platonic way
like you have just missed your best friend
so you have a sleepover... in the flat you share... as adults
everybody just assumes you’re dating and mx think you should
esp when jooheon gets lowkey jealous when you go on dates, since he’s so openly protective of you
but you guys know where you’re at
and you’re happy as best friends
I.M:
(i love this gif of changkyun. look at his cheeks ahhhh)
you guys are long-term childhood friends so the apartment vibe is chill
you have been friends so damn long, you know exactly how each other click so there are rarely any problems
if there is, you threaten to blackmail w the thousands of ugly photos you have of him.
then you remember he has an equal amount as you, and the actual issues is dropped within seconds
because you guys are still goofy through it al
like i said, it’s a v chill household
chores get magically done, eventually, but there’s no real rush
but you are both rarely there to have to thrive in it
it does make kihyun want to die a little when he visits
changkyun is often at his own studio
and you’ll receive calls asking you to listen to something he’s produced and see what you think of it
it means you guys end up spending more time at his studio than the apartment you both pay for lmao
but it doesn’t bother either of you
sometimes, it does take some prompting from you to stop him from overworking himself
what you guys love to do is go out on drives
just drive somewhere completely random, sit and watch the night creep in
you guys can pretty much talk for hours and hours
be it reminiscing, talking about the future or about the new music that you have been listening to
this does mean changkyun always has headphones in
so you’ll have to call his name repeatedly to get his attention
your apartment will also always smell good
you both end up buying heaps and heaps of incense and candles
careful in not making the landlord believe you guys are doing drugs lmao
but it just creates such a relaxed atmosphere
and you don’t have to think too hard when buying each other presents
sorry if the lengths aren’t v well balanced. i had LOADS of ideas for some members and fewer for others. curse of writer’s brain grrrr. some of these were so cute, and i would so room w changkyun tbh
#monsta x#mx#monsta x reactions#monsta x scenarios#monsta x aus#monsta x imagines#monsta x fluff#mx reactions#mx scenarios#mx aus#mx imagines#mx fluff#shownu#hyunwoo#son hyunwoo#wonho#hoseok#lee hoseok#minhyuk#lee minhyuk#kihyun#yoo kihyun#hyungwon#chae hyungwon#jooheon#lee jooheon#i.m#changkyun#im changkyun#kpop
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Lonely. (Jimin Angst/Fluff) Part 1
non-idol!au
So this is something I wrote about 7 months ago, it’s pretty depressing and sad, but also cute, I titled it ‘Part 1′ since I think I wanted to make it a series. Let me know what you guys think?
WARNINGS: Mentions of depression, overall sad things.
Word Count: 2.5k
What was the meaning of being lonely?
A question I asked myself everyday. What did it mean? But, I knew exactly what it meant.
“(Y/N), let’s go now.” Min-seo said, her hand on the doorframe.
“O-Oh. I’m coming.” I said, snapping myself back to reality from looking out the window.
We were going to the swimming pool, again. Min-seo, my cousin, loved going to the pool with me, her little brother, my little sister, and our younger cousin. I walked out the hallway, feeling the soft beige carpet under my feet as I walked down the stairs to put on random blue flip-flops that were probably my Mom’s. My little sister, Jin-ah and I, were staying over at my Uncle’s house since my cousin Min-seo, was over for a visit for a while.
I adjusted my bathing suit, feeling self conscious in the black two-piece exposing my stomach. We walked out to the car, and there wasn’t enough space so I had to sit on Min-seo’s lap, since she insisted that it would be easier if I sat in her lap.
“You guys ready?” My aunt asked.
“We’re great!” Jin-ah answered.
My aunt gave us a thumbs-up before sitting in the driver’s seat, beginning to drive down to the pool for the residents of the neighborhood. It was only like a 5 minute drive, so I didn’t get too uncomfortable with sitting in her lap.
“Woo!! WE’RE HERE!” Jin-ah yelled, jumping out of the car.
My aunt signed in, and we walked into the gate, seeing the large olympic style pool come into view, without the dividers of course. Everyone threw their colored towels onto the white resting chairs and then jumped into the pool, creating large splashes around them.
“Come in, (Y/N)!” Min-seo yelled out to me, adjusting her messy bun.
I took off my black tank top that I had put over my bathing suit, and then my white shorts. I jumped into the pool quickly, putting an arm over my stomach. I had fun, I suppose. Just messing around with Min-seo, her almost drowning in the deep end, and me, just swimming around, feeling my limbs start to get sore. It was about an hour in that I sat on the steps of the pool at the short end. I sat down on the second step so that just under my top wasn’t covered by water.
I sat on the step, playing with a black hair tie under the water, thinking of going back to school soon, without any friends. Well, I had a friend, a best friend. But things happen. The typical talk behind your back thing. It happened, twice. I guess things weren’t meant to work out, but still, I don’t regret it, because I was happy while it lasted.
A man with brown hair caught my eye down at the deep end of the pool. He was practically the only other Asian in the pool, that made him stand out to me? He pulled his hair back with his hand, why did I find that hot? I heard a small ‘buzz’ and looked over at my phone.
07/28 - Best Friend Anniversary WOOOOHOOOO!!
I sighed to myself, it was meant to be a happy day, so why couldn’t it be? I got lost in looking at the calm, chlorine filled, teal-ish blue colored water, letting my eyes bore into it to stare blankly at the patterns of small blue tiles plastered to the white floor. I didn’t realize how long I was staring down, until I felt the water ripple next to me, moving me to the right a bit.
I looked over, and the man was sitting next to me, his eyes on me.
“Hey.” He said.
His voice was warm, soft, a bit high-pitched, cute, yet attractive at the same time.
I felt intimidated, I didn’t know who he was and I didn’t interact with people unless I really had to.
“….Hi…” I said, very softly, quietly.
“You seem really, sad? Come swim with me.” He said, floating off the steps and moving in to a position in front of me.
“….No thanks, I-I’m good right here.” I said, quietly again.
“Your family is right there? You seem to not want to be with them, it’s not really fun to be alone, come swim with me, just for a little bit.” He smiled.
His smile, it was amazing. The full Cheshire Cat grin on his face made his eyes turn into small half moons, creating an adorable eye-smile. His teeth, they were so white, and kind of crooked, it was cute. His cheeks got rounder when he smiled, and he just became that much more attractive when he smiled.
I didn’t say no, I almost never did to people. A habit? I don’t know.
He swam next to me and we ended up at the deep end of the pool, near the ladder on the left side for me to hold onto.
“So, what’s your name?” He asked, his accent coming through.
“My name is (Y/N). Do you speak English fluently?” I asked, giggling at his cute accent.
“No, uh, I’m from Korea, from Seoul? But I was boern in Bus-an.” He struggled to say.
“It’s okay, I’m Korean too, don’t hurt yourself.” I said in Korean, laughing at him shyly.
“Waaa, really?! Oh, my name is Jimin, by the way.” He responded back, no longer struggling to talk.
“Yeah, I was born in Korea, but I’m here since my cousins are visiting.” I said quietly, looking over to the group of people of which my cousin was in.
“Lucky me. I was nervous.” He said, laughing.
His laugh, it was so cute. So genuine, and so nice to hear. It made me smile widely, and I don’t even know why.
“You seem really…"
”Lonely.“ I finished.
"Yeah…any reason as to why?” Jimin asked.
“I used to have a best friend, it didn’t end well, but it’s happened more than once so it’s okay. But I’ve always been just, alone.” I said.
“Introverted? Ah, I have a best friend just like you, but he’s loud when he wants to be.” He said.
“Yeah, most of the time, that’s how it works…” I answered, not really knowing what to say.
“Tell me about yourself?” He randomly said.
“U-Um, I’m sorry, I have to go.” I said, not knowing what else to say, going back to my family since we were going to leave.
“W-Wait, can I have your phone number?” He asked, blushing a bit.
I sighed a bit but gave it to him anyways. I left with my cousin after that, waving goodbye to him. When we got to the house, I took a shower to wash off the stench of chlorine and ratty feeling in my hair. I went outside to the room I was staying in with my cousin, finding that she wasn’t in there.
She’s probably downstairs.
I went back to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, and beginning to overthink again, to feel depressed again. Countless thoughts poured into my mind, and I seemed to feel a heart clenching feeling take over me.
“Ugh, you’re so stupid, honestly.” I whispered to myself, taking a closer look at someone I no longer recognized, in the mirror.
No friends, no interesting things about me, no beauty, no love, no softness, no opening up, no life…How useless are you.
I sighed, wishing that the heart clenching feeling would go away, but I seemed to feel it a lot lately. I find myself in this state where I just overthink and forget my surroundings, and then my chest burns. I was so frustrated with myself.
School is starting soon, and you’re fucking alone.
I snapped myself into reality and went downstairs, sprinkling on the fake happiness for everyone there.
Min-seo was sitting in the kitchen, on one of the beige fabric chairs, lost in the chatter and laughter that everyone was dazed in, sitting, and some standing, in a circle while talking about stuff that brought humor. I joined, laughing, or smiling from time to time, and about 0.3 seconds later, the smile would disappear. I couldn’t hold it, couldn’t hold the smile. How frustrating.
I didn’t want to live like this, live as if everything is fucking fine, but it’s not. The depression is consuming me. But you’re fine.
You’re okay. There is nothing wrong.
That’s all that would be in my head, that there is nothing wrong… So then why the hell do I still feel like this?
I laid down in bed next to Min-seo, listening to her soft snores and the ticking of the clock next to us on the wall.
Why?
I wanted to sleep. I kept twisting and turning, careful not to wake up Min-seo next to me. But the thoughts just kept on going, and going, and going.
You should feel so damn stupid. You should feel bad for everyone who hangs out with you, they have to deal with you. You should feel horrible for your old best friend, she had to deal with how pathetic and worthless you are, she deserves so much more than anything you will ever be. You’re so pathetic, no wonder everyone leaves you. You’re dramatic, no wonder you’re so lonely. You’re so cold, that’s why no one talks to you. You never open up to people, that’s why they just give up. You dress like a guy, no wonder no one likes you. Your personality is horrible, why would like someone like you? Why are you still here…just give up.
-
I woke up the next day, around 9am, my Uncle’s kid, Sang-min, was running around and just yelling, and pulling at my charger. He kept grabbing my phone and throwing it, causing it to crack, and threw a book at Min-seo’s ankle. I had a feeling today was going to be a bad day. My little sister, Jin-ah, came in, saying we are going to the pool again, to which I let out a loud groan at.
I looked at my phone, the screen now cracked, and I wasn’t getting a new one anytime soon. A text message popped up in Korean.
Unknown: Hey, (Y/N)-sshi. Are you going to the pool today? My two friends, Taehyung and Jungkook are coming with me in the morning, like in about 20 minutes or so? If you’re going, that’s great, I’d love for you to meet them!
I knew it was Jimin, the charming, nice, talkative boy I had met yesterday. I quickly texted back.
(Y/N): I’m going in a bit actually, I’ll see you there, Jimin-sshi.
I got up and changed into my black two piece. I was actually pretty excited to see Jimin, and for a while, the negative thoughts left my mind. I slipped on the dark blue slippers and went out to the car once I heard my aunt yell that we were leaving. I sat next to Min-seo, since they took out Sang-min’s car seat.
“Hey, (Y/N)! Let’s go hangout at the deep end, yeah? If I drown, make sure you get me.” Min-seo joked.
I smiled softly at her, only thinking of Jimin at the moment. When we finally got to the pool, I jumped out and waited for my aunt to sign in, and everyone took off our thin shirts and shorts to jump into the pool. I didn’t see Jimin, so I felt a small pang of disappointment shoot inside of me.
“Yah! Brighten up, get in. Or I’ll pull your ankle and you’ll fall in.” Min-seo threatened, pulling her soaked hair back, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I took off my black tank top, folding it and setting it onto one of the white chairs. I slowly walked into the cold water of the pool, trying to get used to the feeling. I went over to the deep end, and Min-seo didn’t follow.
What if I just drowned…?
I don’t know why I was thinking that, it just drilled into my head and even when Min-seo waved at me or laughed with me, it was just there.
I felt the water ripple around me as I gripped the side of the pool, just thinking, getting lost and drowning in the thoughts once again and falling into the blank state. I heard a loud splash behind me, startling me. I heard a scream of 'Taehyung!’ and I thought to myself, I think it’s Jimin!
I didn’t turn around, because the thoughts just kept pounding inside of my head. I heard my name being shouted from the other side of the pool, and I saw Jimin taking off his shirt and letting his body be covered by the water as he did a reverse pull-up into the water.
“Hey, (Y/N)-sshi.” Jimin waved.
I smiled softly at him, and he made his way over as the person who made a loud splash resurfaced, pulling back their hair, revealing a man with dark brown hair, a boxy like smile on his face as Jimin hit him playfully for startling me. Another guy behind Jimin got into the pool as well, he looked younger, but he was taller. Jimin came over to me. He smiled and hugged me. I felt awkward, but put my arms around him as well.
“Hi, Jimin-sshi.” I said, softly.
“You don’t need to call me that, I know you respect me, and I’m grateful, but just call me Jimin.” He laughed.
I smiled and told him to do the same for me.
“These are my two friends, Taehyung, and Jungkook.” Jimin said, putting his hand out in front of both of them.
“Hi, I’m Taehyung.” The boxy smiled man said, his deep voice surprising me.
“H-Hi, I’m Jungkook.” The bunny-like one said, shyness laced in his voice.
“I’m (Y/N), n-nice to meet you.” I said, all of us bowing to each other.
“You’re cute.” Taehyung said suddenly, making my eyes widen.
“Taehyung!” Jimin hissed, elbowing him, before turning to me.
“He is not a player, I swear!” Jimin said to me.
Jimin and Taehyung went off to race on the other side of the deep end and Jungkook was left with me, we were both awkwardly silent.
“So…how old are you?” Jungkook asked quietly, hesitantly.
“I’m 20.” I said quietly.
“Really? Me too.” He smiled softly.
What was with these guys and nice smiles?
“When is your birthday?” I asked, turning towards him.
“September 1st.” He said, tilting his head at me.
“Mine is September 19.” I said, smiling a bit, naturally.
“Ah, so I’m older than you. Finally!” He said, laughing a bit.
I laughed too, and we started talking a lot about our lives, about Jimin, about their other friends. I found out that Jimin is 22, and Taehyung is too. I found out that they all like to sing, so I asked Jungkook to sing for me, and holy shit his voice was gift given by the Gods.
“Let’s pull a prank on Jimin.” Jungkook said, whispering in my ear the rest of the plan.
Jimin and Taehyung made their way back to us, and once they were in front of us, I did what Jungkook said.
“So, Jimin. You’re my Oppa?” I asked, cringing internally at myself.
“W-W-What?” He stuttered, his cheeks automatically turning pink.
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