#random0lover venting

[random0lover]

I can’t stand having to go into stores or food places. It literally makes my heart sink down into my chest, I’m so socially awkward/anxious. It’s not that I can’t handle having to talk to the employees or anything it’s the fact that I’m always over analyzing everything around me and over thinking everything I’m going to have to say so I come in feeling like I would rather just have to go home instead of dealing with the situation.

Venting below

Probably will delete later

For example this morning my brothers wanted a strawberry shake each so I did a mobile order for a place near by cause I know they usually have the machine going and all that by that time so it should be fine. Well the morning shift there at the beginning of the week have always been kinda weird towards me but this morning I come in (after it let me order said shakes) and I come up to the counter and everyone is just ignoring me and I’m kinda just standing there waiting (which I didn’t mind) until a guy walks by and looks at me and when he stops I tell him I have a mobile order.

And he kinda just laughs at me? And says “yeah we can’t make that right now *cue another laugh* the machines down” and this is the point where I’m trying to decide what I’m going to do so I look down at my phone and then back up and he’s squinting his eyes at me with his head slightly tilted? Like he’s looking at me like I’m weird or something? Anyways I ask him how could I go about getting a refund and then he laughs at me again and says “what?” And I repeat myself and he just shrugs and says you’ll have to ask her (there was a lady behind him who I’m assuming is his manager or the shift lead) and laughs again when he turns away to tell her. At this point istg I’m crazy cause I’m like did I do something wrong or am I being weird 🤦🏻‍♀️

But the lady turns around and says “what” so I tell her the same thing about the order and I make sure to tell her that I’m not upset and that I know it’s not her fault but that I’m just wanting to get a refund which I’ve had to do there before because they didn’t have an item I mobile ordered before and they gave me a refund just fine. And I kid you not this woman looks at me and tell me that it’s not her fault with major attitude which is when I once again tell her that I’m not upset or angry and that I just want a refund and she says that she can’t do that and that I’ll have to call the number on their app or they can give me something else (mind you the app says you have to contact the store you ordered the items from for a refund 💀). So I leave because my nerves were up really bad and I knew she wasn’t going to help me. I called them when I got home though and they said I could come back in two hours when they turn the machine on even though I was told the machine is broken not just turned off 😭 I just don’t know how to feel about all of that y’know? I’ve been in there plenty of times and I’m always polite so I don’t know what I did…

I’m just wondering if I went about something wrong? I thought I waited patiently and made it clear I wasn’t upset about the shakes, I didn’t raise my voice or anything. What makes it even worse though is the guy was attractive and I understand to some people that doesn’t matter but when you’re getting laughed at it sucks but getting laughed at by an attractive person? That makes me want to crawl into a hole and die

[random0lover]

I’m so sensory overloaded right now I’m going to lose my mind 🙂

[random0lover]

The pain of wanting to do something for myself but my whole childhood all I did was worry about money so now I don’t feel okay spending money unless I’m buying something for someone else

[random0lover]

I swear I’m losing my mind

[random0lover]

Having younger siblings makes making choices for yourself so much harder

[random0lover]

My job is making us switch to clear bags and it’s not that I care about that exactly but it’s the fact that they don’t want us having any unclear bags even if it’s for medication, pads/tampons, or personal items

[random0lover]

(Some info on my dad: he is Christian but he is very respectful towards people that are part of the lgbtq+ community and has never tried to force his religion on anyone. He does freely talk about the fact that he believes in god but he doesn’t really talk about his beliefs and things like that unless someone asks him his opinions. These are conversations that occur in the privacy of our home. This is all just to vent)

One of the most annoying things about being the only one in my household that truly supports the LGBTQ+ community is that any time I say anything about a women there’s this immediate look that my dad gets and it means “I’m worried that you’re gay” 😒

Cause for some reason in his brain the fact that I say a woman has pretty eyes or just say anything about a women being remotely pretty it connects to the fact that I have to be gay cause why else would I support them unless I am part of them 🙄

Anyways this leads to a conversation that happened a few weeks ago where my dad was once again giving me that look and it pissed me off and we started arguing because right now in life I’m very sure I’m straight and it’s completely fine for me to be able to support the community without me being part of it but what’s (kinda funny) really dumb is my brother (lord help his soul) thought he was helping by saying “omg she’s not gay, if anything she’s bi!”

My dad looks me directly in the eyes and says “yeah that’s what I’m more worried about”

Like what?!? 💀💀

But cue me thinking it would be funny to bring up the fact that all I do is think about fictional men and I brought up cod and I started listing off some of my favs or ones that I like and I got to König and I said that he was 6’10 and it pissed my dad off so bad (I though it was hilarious that he was so mad about it btw) and he was all like “what are you going to bring home some super tall mother fucker?” And he started mouthing off and all I could think is the fact that he wouldn’t like the fact that the person I end up with could be bigger/taller than him and it’s so funny to me cause he’s the type of guy that’s confident he could beat anyone in a fight (he talks about it all the time and it’s annoying af)

Anyways he finally chills the f out and things are all good again but then a video comes across his phone and it has Shemar Moore in it and I very much love that man and I was dumb and said something about the fact that I find him attractive and my dad once again got pissed off

So in conclusion my dad doesn’t ever want me to be in a relationship, I’m not allowed to be apart of the community even if it’s what I want, and he gets on my nerves. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 🙂👍🏼

[random0lover]

Requests Are Open!!

For the love of god please put your age in your bio or in a pinned post. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IF I CANT TELL HOW OLD YOU ARE. Also in the end of it all, you are responsible for your own media consumption. If you decide to go around warnings that is your own choice. Thank you.💞 Also, my blog is a safe space! If anyone need’s to vent or just wants someone to talk to my dm’s are always open. <3

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} Things About Me

- I’m 19

- She/Her

- I sometimes go by Kat (open to nicknames tbh)

- I’m short enough that I have to climb onto counters to reach the top shelf (fml)

- Scorpio

- INFJ

- if I’m outside you’ll often find me staring at the sky whether it’s day or night

- I mainly write for fun but would love to maybe pursue it as a career one day

- I’m happiest when it’s raining outside and I can just curl up with a good book with a cup of hot chocolate or coffee <3

- I’m part of multiple fandoms so you’ll find reblogs (and maybe a few of my own writings) of all sorts here :)

- If you decide to follow me I would greatly appreciate if in your bio it could indicate that you’re over the age of 18. Whether it’s a simple 18+ or even if it says MDNI (minors do not interact)

Find info about my writing by clicking ‘keep reading’ :)

Also here are the tags I use if you’d like to block any (I reblog a lot and I know that annoys some people)

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} Masterlist

Key for works

Fluff = ✨

Light Smut = ☀️

Smut = 🔥

Smut with hard kinks = 🔥💥

This includes CNC (CONSENSUAL non-consent), intense bondage, knife play, gun play, pet play, intense impact play, fear play. I think that’s it but more may be added.

Angst = 🌪️

No Comfort = 🥀

Fem!reader = 🌩️

GN!reader = 🌨️

AFAB!reader = ❄️

No Reader Insert = 🍄

• Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

🌩️☀️✨] A Day for First’s and Adding A Second

- Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x wife fem!reader, slight NSFW, established relationship, pregnancy mentioned, you and Simon have a son, fluff

🌨️🌪️✨] TF141 x gn!reader That Was a Military Kid

-Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!reader, SFW, angst, fluff, reader is mean and dealing with a lot emotionally, talk of parental death, established relationship, Simon is understanding and caring

-mini series-🌪️🥀🌨️] Open Wounds and War Paint

- Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!reader, SFW, Angst/No Comfort, blood, reader death(?)

-part 2- 🌪️🥀🌨️] Her Past is Their torture

- Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!reader, SFW, Angst/No Comfort (yet), nothing to serious for this part but make sure to read warnings

• Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish

❄️✨] Johnny Mactavish Head Canon’s - dad edition (kinda)

- John ‘soap’ Mactavish x afab!reader, SFW, marriage, pregnancy, fluff

🌨️✨] Hot Chocolate & Hoodies

- John ‘Soap’ Mactavish x GN!reader, SFW, Fluff

•Captain John Price

❄️✨]John Price Head Canon’s - dad edition (kinda)

-John Price x afab!reader, SFW, marriage, pregnancy, fluff

🌨️✨]Captain John Price Head Canon’s- SO that has Tourette’s Syndrome

-John Price x GN!reader, SFW, reader has Tourette’s Syndrome, John is supportive, fluff

🌨️🌪️✨]TF141 x gn!reader That Was a Military Kid

-John Price x GN!reader, SFW, angst, comfort, reader is emotionally dealing with a lot, established relationship, John’s a sweetheart, talk of parental death

• Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

-empty

•König

-empty

•Everyone

🍄✨]Bar/pub owners!141, Los Vaqueros, König, and Kate Laswell Head Canon’s

-SFW, fluff, alcohol mentioned, drunk people mentioned, harassment mentioned, ghostsoap mentioned one time, blood mentioned once

} Random One-Shots

These will be anywhere between 1,000 to 1,500 words

🔥🌨️] “What do you want?”

-Male!dom x GN!reader, Smut, NSFW

} Things I absolutely refuse to write

Be aware of clicking the words in purple. The links lead to possibly NSFW things or topics that may be triggering for some.

- Watersports (what is this?) (not judging just not my thing)

- Pedophilia 😡

- Scatophilia (what is this?) (not judging just not my thing)

-Cannibalism (only time you would probably ever see this is if I’m writing an apocalypse fic but it would not be an important part of it)

-anything involving dead bodies or animals (I mean this in a sexual manner (like kinks people have) as this is absolutely disgusting and horrible)

} Things I’m not exactly comfortable writing

This is not to offend anyone as I would never judge anyone for their kinks! This is me just trying to set some personal boundaries <3

- age play

I have nothing against age play (as long as everyone is playing a legal age). I went through some childhood trauma that makes writing it hard and I would prefer not to write it for my own mental health <3

-CBT (what is this?)

Once again nothing against anyone that enjoys this! It’s just really not my cup of tea and I don’t want to offend anyone or spread any misinformation by writing it incorrectly!

-Tentacles

I myself have read a few fics like this but I don’t ever really see myself writing it. I don’t frequent in erotica like that so I really wouldn’t know what the hell I would be doing 😅

-Electro stimulation (what is this?)

Honestly never heard of it until I started looking into different kind of kinks. It’s definitely an interesting one but not something I could see myself writing.

} A Small Warning

I reblog and not very often but sometimes vent about sensitive topics. This can range from SA (what is this?), Abuse may come up at times (mainly mental and emotional), Childhood Trauma can often come up even if I do not go into detail, and things that probably piss me off or make me angry.

That’s all for now but more may be added as time goes on! If you read all that thank you so much <3

Requests are open

Please read the things above before sending in a request. Thanks my love 💕