#ramona ;; headcanons (these tongues are twisted) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

archivesdiveronarpg · 8 years ago

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Congratulations, MEGAN! You’ve been accepted for the role of CELIA. Megan, I knew you were right for the role before I even got to the in-character portion of your application. You made it clear from the very start that you understand Castora, flawed and bitter and vulnerable as she is, and your understanding shone through in your portrayal. Love is weakness to a girl like Cas, as you called her—a fatal illness to be avoided at all costs, and while you toyed with her reasoning for being so averse to love, you never made it seem as if having a healthy dose of it would fix her, and I loved that. In your hands, she is unapologetic—a little rough around the edges, perhaps, but not a woman in need of fixing. I trust you’ll do great things with her! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within twenty-four hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias: Megan Age: Old as dirt. 25. Preferred Pronouns: she/her Activity Level: I’m a full time student as well as working two jobs. I do have a good amount of free time Monday through Friday, as these are the days that I go to class in stead of working. Saturdays and Sundays would be less active for me, but during the weekdays, I have a lot more time to commit to being active and doing replies. Timezone: EST

In Character

Character: Celia, Castora Aguilar What drew you to this character?: To be honest, Celia wasn’t a character I was planning on applying for. I was actually looking for a male character, but I’d been looking through all of the open skeletons for a bit, reading every single one of their bios, and something kept drawing me back to Celia. I’ve always been a bit of a sucker for a character who is determined to avoid love at all costs. But I really enjoy how there’s more to Celia than just this stubborn phobia, and it’s not simply a reason to come out of nowhere. She’s strong and passionate and wants nothing more than to be able to make more of herself. However, I envision that a good majority of this side of her personality might be because she’s not sure of what love truly entails.

She’s been on the receiving end of what was called love from her mother, but this was a desperate and suffocating kind of love, and she was just a replacement for the one true recipient that her mother wanted more. Yet, Celia still experiences love that she doesn’t look to rid herself of - her love for her Ramona and Valentina, her love for her position within the Montague empire, her love for the feeling of blood on her hands. For Celia, she seems like a person who enjoys love when it’s only on her terms and in her most understandable of definitions, and the idea of love that she has seen and witnessed is not of her terms.

I think that’s another big reason that I found myself drawn to her, because I can relate to her in many instances. For Celia, it seems to be that she wanted to be cold and unfeeling and tough - and she equated that with becoming a soldier. She wanted to put as much distance as possible between herself and her mother’s shadow, and in her eyes, that means being the opposite of the romantic. But despite her every intentions and every desire to show that she is nothing but strong, Celia is flawed and is human and is vulnerable. She does a better job than most of covering it up, but she has wishes and hopes and fears and worries. And for me, I think that there’s something quite beautiful of a character who tries to force themselves into a certain mold, perhaps what they believe they want everyone to see them as - but in truest form, they aren’t even sure who they are. For that reason (and many more), I would love to explore Celia’s true ambitions and character, and I think it would be enjoyable to do so in the scape of the game.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

I’ll preface these by saying that although I have a couple ideas, I do plot a little bit better when speaking to the other person(s) involved, just because I do work best vibing off of others.

THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND: If there is one thing that is a true constant in Castora’s mind, it is the cemented hatred of the Capulets. In her eyes, they are of no value, and have caused far more destruction to this world than they should’ve. She may not know all the facts and all the minutia of their existence, but she doesn’t need to hear it - it would change her mind. They’ve already taken so much from the Montagues, and though she’s heard otherwise - she’s absolutely sure that Alivse’s death was their fault. For that reason, I think it would be interesting to see Castora step outside the Montague lines with someone who was perhaps neutral or aligned with the Spades. A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE: From since she can remember, Castora has convinced herself that she does not need love, that she is above those who do thrive off of it, and that it will only slow her down in the process. She saw the way that unrequited love destroyed her mother into a hopeless and blubbering mess. Through the resentment of the woman who raised her, and And though, for all that she might want to believe, it’s a lie that she’s been forcing upon herself for years. However, deep down in Castora’s heart, there’s a desire of affection and for mutual compassion. Steeling herself off and turning her heart cold was a self-preservation mechanism, something she told herself was mandatory to be able to continue her ascent through success. But she’s still human, and it’s in human nature to love. I have headcanoned that she herself also dealt with an unrequited love of some nature - which is the subject of my para sample. Which is I would love to see her realize that she’s not the ice queen she portrays herself to be. TRUST FEW, FEAR NONE: The position of captain is so close, she can almost taste it. With the new title and the new responsibilities looming just right with her grasp, she’s sure that the small bits of respect and approval that she’s still looking for will come flooding to her without hesitation. And she will do anything to make sure that she is the one to receive this promotion - as she’s more than certain she’s the one who truly deserves it. Because of this, I can imagine that she’d do just about anything to push or undermine the ones who stand in her way - even Ramona or Valentina. Castora is not afraid of playing dirty if it means that she will be the one who is still standing in the end. However, in the end, I’d personally love to see that she’s passed over for the position of captain, either because she made a misstep somewhere along the way, or because they believe she’s not ready for it. I feel like without this promotion at the end of her tunnel vision, it would definitely shock her, and perhaps even force her to reevaluate her life and what she’s doing. In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona?

“The library,” she answered matter of factly, not even taking a moment to consider her answer to the question. A simple shrug of her shoulders accompanying the words, allowing her to pause and take a brief inhale on the lowly flickering cigarette that’s held between her forefinger and thumb. There’s a small quirk in her lips, and it almost looks like a smile - but in a blink and you might miss it way. At least to those familiar with her habits - to anyone else, it could easily be seen as a grimace. She sighs, as if caught in a far off and dreamy memory, but a pretty face can only hide so much, and her eyes glitter with a sort of eagerness, as if challenging to press on. “There’s something so comforting about what lay inside of it’s walls, don’t you think?” Castora poses, before looking out to the skyline, where the silhouette of the library is aglow against the sun setting in the sky.

“Don’t you agree?” she asks again. “Those walls have such power and such force lying within them, and it doesn’t even know it. I enjoy spending as much of my free time there as possible, to see what it had to offer me in information and in learning.” She lets out a hollow laugh, before raising a brow in amusement. “Books are quite wonderful in that way, after all.” The emphasis placed on the first word is alluding that there’s more to the story, but she says no more.

What does your typical day look like?

She clicks her tongue, pursing her lips as she begins to think. Her days vary in activities, as would anyone else who made a life out of bloodshed and pain. An amused expression crosses her face momentarily, before she wipes it clean, as she’s sure that this is not the sort of answer that they’re looking for.

“I’m a student,” she admits, before leaning against the railing in front of her, glancing out to the streets of Verona. Her typical day follows the rules of Verona and what it speaks to her. “There’s never a day that happens twice in that sort of life, you know? I can go some days without speaking to anyone, locked in the library and studying for the next test that’s on the calendar.” Her language was one of metaphors and hidden messages, teasing those around her to look for the true meaning in her words.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Her expression goes dark for a moment, eyes darkening and teeth bared, like an animal. Her memories flicker to cleaning blood splatter off of her face after a particularly successful night on the town - and after the not so successful. Yet, thinking of these moments warms her heart in a twisted way. Who would she be if not a soldier - what would her purpose in the world be if not to fight for the Montague name? Without the war looming overhead, and without the Capulets rearing their ugly head every day, Castora would be back in the same position that she was in before arriving at her uncle’s doorstep - stifled, stale, and of no use.

How dark, she thinks to herself, though all it brings her is amusement. She just waves a hand dismissively, lifting her cigarette to her mouth once again to inhale - and if her knuckles have gone white, that’s surely just a coincidence. “Does it matter what I think of the war? It’ll continue on no matter what I believe, after all. Thoughts and hopes are meaningless in times such as these. The two of them are going to end up killing each other before they call the war off.”

As it should be.

In-Character Para Sample:

It hits her like a ton of bricks, without warning.

She’s alone in the apartment, the shower water cascading down over her as her eyes widen in realization, her heart feeling like it’s leapt into her throat. The shampoo bottle slips from her hand, clanging down against the tile floor of the shower, but it doesn’t even phase her. Her heart is beating too heavily, a feeling that’s seemed to become a new normal for her recently. Heavy heartbeat and sweating palms, trembling fingers and muddled words - to anyone else, they would surely believe that she had fallen ill with some sort of sickness. And if Castora had been lucky enough, she might have even thought of that herself.

But no, she had been damned enough to know the truth.

It was the same illness that her mother had suffered from for years upon years. But only her mother had reveled in the aches and pains that came along with it. It was unmistakable, the feeling of it. Castora could picture it now, the woman draped on the threadbare sofa and weeping, while her young daughter buried her head under a pillow to try and drown out the pathetic wails. She had listened to the woman waxing poetic about the laments of heartbreak, and how beautiful love could be once she found it. She could still see the way that the woman would linger by the windows of the house, looking out as if to suddenly see that he’d be coming home - it’d only been ten years, after all. She could still feel the woman’s hands threading through her hair as she plaited them into braids, speaking in a hushed voice as she told Castora of what the emotion felt like, and how luck she’d get to be when she experienced it for herself.

For Castora and her newfound realization, it was anything but luck. In fact, it felt far more like a curse.

The woman who spoke so fondly of such a feeling was an idiot, a slave to her own weak heart. Castora had thought that she knew better than to fall victim to this, knowing the true capability that this leech could have on her. Her mother had been ignorant, eager to give her heart back to a man who had given her nothing. And Castora had sworn to herself the night that she packed all her belonging into the small suitcase and left in the dark night, that she would be nothing like that woman.

She had made every attempt to seal off her heart and steel her emotions against it, but she had failed. It had seeped into her veins, and made it’s way to her heart to control it. Control her like some sort of puppet on strings.

Her stomach lurched, her mind flitting around him as she thought of how he smiled at her - of how he regarded her - and how it was suddenly the quickest way to make her knees go weak. God, she hated him now more than ever before. How could he do this to her? Her pulse jumped again, thinking of the way he spoke, and the intelligence that was knitted into his brow when he concentrated. Fool, she scolded herself. She was a fool to believe that it was something special, as he probably smiled that way any everyone. There was nothing special about what he did, and there was no reason for her to feel that she was special. She wasn’t. And more importantly, neither was he.

Maybe if she continued to tell herself that, she’d be convinced of it, and her feelings would follow suit.

But love didn’t work like that, and she knew it. She’d witnessed it enough, she’d heard enough about it. It was an all-encompassing parasite that threatened to devour her from within. It was an ugly Her hands curled into fists, feeling her knuckles go white. It felt as if her heart was laughing at her attempt to lie to herself, that she felt nothing but platonic nature towards him.

Anger swelled in her chest, a furious litany of curses leaving her mouth. This was not the plan that she had for herself, this was unacceptable.

The water in the shower had gone cold some time ago, Castora only realizing it as her teeth had started to chatter. She finally reached for the tap, shutting it off with her shriveled fingers. Her stomach felt sick, wrapping the towel around herself. She couldn’t face herself in the mirror, turning her head away as she passed by it.

Her mother had ruined her. He had ruined her.

Or perhaps, Castora had ruined herself.

Extras:

inspo blog (just a few posts and two edits)

Castora does go by Cas to a few people that she’s comfortable with, typically the people within the Montague clan that she doesn’t get annoyed by. However, if someone outside of this group of people trie to address her by a nickname, she will correct them immediately - as they haven’t earned the right to refer to her in such a way. She sometimes tends to abruptly walk away in the middle of them speaking, Castora is not a mean person - she does not go out of her way to be rude to others or say mean things for the sake of it, as she knows that doing this will only help with easing the severity of when barbs do fall from her tongue, making them less impactful. If anything, Castora is an introverted person. She prefers her own company, and who only speaks when she has something worth saying. She doesn’t trust easily, and has an even harder time connecting with people, as she doesn’t relate to them. If and when someone does cross her, then she will use her words - and sometimes even a fist or two - to show them the error of their ways. Castora’s sexuality is very fluid, as she’s attracted to the person before she is to a certain sex. Although romance may be something that her heart is looking to avoid, casual sex is something that she enjoys partaking in - and she’s not discriminatory when it comes to that. It’s the closest taste of intimacy she can get without putting any commitment into it or feelings into it, and it staves away any feelings of loneliness that might crawl into her heart - temporarily, at least. Like putting a bandaid on over a cut. In terms of romantic appeal, I envision that she’s demiromantic, and that to truly fall for someone, she’d need to trust them and feel their trust and respect in return. I left the para sample pretty open to interpretation, and obviously this is something that I might just end up putting back to an NPC - but my headcanon was that she realized that she was in love with Hiran. After this realization, she promptly avoided him until she was sure that it was no longer a threat to herself. Whether or not this feeling still exists is still to be determined. I made this pretty clear in the para sample, but I am in love the idea of Castora regarding love as an illness or a parasite - something that’s going to rob her of her strength and take away away her power. In her eyes, romantic love is to be avoided at all costs. She does feel strongly about the members of the Montague team, however, in that she is close to them and trusts them - and perhaps feels a shade of her own sense of love towards some of them. thanks for giving this a read through!! :)

#accepted #accepted: celia

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