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mysteriouslybluepirate · 2 years ago

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Criminal Justice (2007)- Episodes 1-5. Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #? RALPH STONE!

Warnings: Murder. Blood. Drug Use. Needle Use/Injection is shown on the scene. Drunk driving. Accused/discussed sexual assault. Abusive parents, grief, and general bullshit in the justice system.

Should you watch this if you haven't: YES! Five episodes, each being an hour, but if you don't have any issues with the warning, it should be a fun time. I was on the edge of my seat for most of this show and Con is a very important character! He is on screen more than most of his other tv parts and is having a great time. It's a story about one defendant and the shit that goes down as he's tried for the crime.

Special thanks to:

@dianetastesmetal who I chatted with around midway through about the show! (For me it was ~2 in the morning, so it was a whole lot of fun!)

The Usual Suspects! I would love to hear your thoughts about this show down alone! I want to thank all of you for following me and giving me love. Y'all are enabling my current fixation, and I thank you all! If you haven't seen it, just ignore me <3

@sphealybojeely @thedowneyheart @kimpreg @gydima @ivegotnonameidea @treesofgreen @tummy-stab-wounds @mossiestpiglet @sidewalk-scrawls @crybabyclover @

Criminal Justice- EP 1 (Guest starring my brother)

Why does that kid look like Benedict Cumberbatch?

He just needs a haircut. That hair looks awful.

This takes place in 2008 right?

Why didn't the dad knock?

He's going to go have sex, huh, he's not going to his friend's house.

Is he going to abuse his position here? Pretend he's a cab driver?

I feel like cab drivers are trained to drop a rando with no destination to a hospital or a police station.

Also, a situation that's only playful because it's a young woman. If this were a homeless person? This shit isn't flying.

DON'T SHARE YOUR FUCKING DRINKS WITH A STRANGER??!?!?!

I got to inform my brother that in England they call soft-served ice cream 'whippies' after the popular brand 'Mr. Whippy', to which he just said 'it's a clown land'

DRUGS! Here we go!

This is suspicious as fuck. Don't take her booze! She's a chick you just met!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

NOOOO! NO. NO. NO. KNIFE GAME IS TAPPING, NOT FUCKING STABBING! WTF!

Society would be a lot further on if we just stopped caring about peer pressure.

WHAT? HE STABBED HER!?!?!?!?!? WHY ARE THEY FUCKING?

We have seen so much of this man's ass, why?

We are 12 minutes in?

Oh. She's dead. She's so dead.

OH SHIT. Yep thats a stabbing

Brother guesses it was the parent, I say ex lover.

God, he's just bad at this

BRO WENT BACK AND NOW HAS A WITNESS?????

This is an actual ACE ATTORNEY CASE WTF

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE THEN CRASHES THE CAR? ACE ATTORNEY LEVELS OF DUMB!

Bro, is this your first break in?

Ohhh he's fucked.

Ohhhhh, this is the cops best day of his life

Oh, good luck defense attorney Con. You better get Phoenix Wright levels of bullshit.

Oh my god, don't fucking fight the cops.

Bro, take a nap. It's been a long night.

OH MY GOD IT'S HIM.

Hello Con! Lovely to see you. Love the rat man fit. I know it's on purpose, but damn. He looks wet.

This is where my brother bullies the shit out of Con.

OH I LOVE HIM-He's actually giving good legal advice! The cops are going to do whatever they can to get a false conviction.

'No comment man'- Hard nose solicitor I FUCKING LOVE IT

RALPH STONE! TROLLIN'. I love it. GOD I LOVE IT.

It's so much easier to be quiet when you're nervous.

Lessons to be learned from this tv show: Don't random desperate women, don't fall to peer pressure, don't say shit to the police.

They wouldn't have left her body there. They would have taken photos then taken the body out of the house asap. It's weird they've waited so long to investigate.

Solicitation of evidence. It's illegal to receive testimony from a private source without giving the evidence to opposing council.

Nice that she packed him a sandwich.

Why is the shitty cops boss so much taller? That's funny.

Whelp. RIP Ralph, you did all you could. Having the guy almost assault a police officer isn't fun.

OHHHHH!!!!!! RALPH I LOVE IT- GOOD GOD IS HE FUN

Oh this whole detective thing feels illegal. Without his attorney to represent him.

Yeah. Sure. Don't get buddy-buddy with the guy who wants to put you away for years.

IS THIS DETECTIVE A VILLAIN? Oh, he likes you? FUN.

They're in a public spot, there is no expectation for privacy and this can be recorded, HAHAHAHAHHAHA. GOOD, HE DIDN'T SAY SHIT.

It's 2007, a bit of weird transphobia was to expected.

UHHHHH….. I SWEAR TO GOD. DON'T SWAP ATTORNIES!

CLASSIST BRITISH PEOPLE AHHHHH-

OH I'D BE PISSED!!!!!! RALPH IS SO GOOD!!!!!

Oh good, Ralph corrected himself about his client's name and pronouns, nice.

Ralph at the end of ep 1-'I looked into his eyes, and we vibed. He can't be innocent'

AWWW RALPH STILL WANTS TO HELP HIM EVEN AFTER HE GOT SCREWED OVER BY HIS POSH LAWYERS! God, I love him.

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EPISODE 2: This is where my brother dipped out, but I summarized as much as I could for him.

I'm going to be honest I skipped through this ep a ton. I generally got the gyst. I'm here for my guy, you know.

I watched a bit, but this just establishes our protagonist's life in jail.

I skipped Ralph's scene/ the trial. Seriously the preview in ep 1 gives you the gist. Read a summary. Etc. His roomie is great.

AHHH RALPHS SMILE. "I don't care what you'd do as a lawyer, just as a human being" AHHH.

GOD HIS CELLMATE IS SO GOOD.

HAHHHAHHAHAHAHHAH! WTF?!?!?!??! Oh, poor ralph. You guy just blowing up in court.

At this point, if I was Ralph Stone, I wouldn't really believe him, but that's what that whole grin was for. He just knew our guy was innocent!

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Episode 3

Oh good. Protag was able to deep throat the drugs.

Ralph! AHHH!! God, he has great outfits in this show.

WHY DOES RALPH HAVE A FOOT THING? I noticed it earlier, but why are we drawing attention to it.

Oh good, Ralph doesn't want to senselessly tarnish a dead girl's name. Nice.

THAT FACE! Uh, the reluctant face! Chewing on the lip!

Ralph! AHHH!! God, he has great outfits in this show.

WHY DOES RALPH HAVE A FOOT THING? I noticed it earlier, but why are we drawing attention to it.

Oh good, Ralph doesn't want to senselessly tarnish a dead girl's name. Nice.

THAT FACE! Uh, the reluctant face! Chewing on the lip! Love it.

Ohhh, god. Ralph's a good actor. That's cute.

OHH THE DETECTIVE ALSO BEING THERE! SHIT. RALPH RUN!

GOD HIM BEING VAGUE AS SHIT TO A WITNESS! I love it.

'With alpha brain?' What the fuck?

AHHH! I LOVE RALPH.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I got to see his chest :)

Oh, Ralph doesn't like this at all. But shit. Not much he can do.

Oh no. It's really not ethical. And this yonger lady is going to mess it up.

AHAHHAHAAAHAHAAA. THE WIGS!

Is this inadvertently informing the audience of how fucked the courts can be. Which is both good and bad. People deserve to know exactly what our lawyers know.

RALPH BEING THE FUCKING SAD DOG MIDDLEMAN THAT NEEDS TO RUN BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS SO FUNNY.

Ralph with glasses gives me life.

OH SHIT THE FRIEND SHOWED UP?

Okay, this is fun. But maybe let's not make jokes in a murder trial?

I love the one juror struggling to stay awake. Showing that even with all these verbal chess, they still need to convince the jury.

Hey, babe. If you really fucking hate prison, maybe don't give a shit about how your mom reacts here!

Good on Ralph. Trying to speak up for her.

(Seeing Ralphs…ex? For the first time) Oh I love them. WHAT ARE THEY ON?

OH SHE MOVED ON, GOD HIS ACTING. A SECOND TO SEE THAT FULL FUCKING FACE JOURNEY!

Oh good. We can really hate the cops now. I mean, I already did. BUT.

OHHH DO THEY HAVE FOOTAGE.

OH, HE COMPLIMENTS RALPH WHEN IT LOOKS GOOD IN FRONT OF THE JURY.

God I hate her(lead defense lady), but this scene is fun.

RALPH IS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME. He's watching the divorced parents fight and he loves it. He should be allowed to smile.

Ha, she's sowing seeds of guilt but that's really not how the law works.

Ralph-'I told you not to talk two episodes ago, and you do it fucking now?!?!??!?!'

Is Ralph being kinda shitty? Yes. Is there any other option right now? Nope.

Them showing how mentally I'll people in prison are severely punished without being able to seek help is cool.

Back to court- OHHHH! SHIT. Yeah, digging at how the medical examiner is only going on prosecution for the state is suspicious as fuck.

FUCK. ASSHOLE DON'T SAY SHIT! DONT CONTRADICT THE DEFENSE!!!!!

SHIT

Ralph, mentally deciding if now is a good place to just call it a day when his client is just begging to go to jail.

OH ANOTHER FUCKING CON CHARACTER WHO FELL IN LOVE THE WRONG WAY!!?!?!?!??!?!!? Well, that fills out my bingo card. This makes maybe 20 characters. I swear to god, if he ends up sad and alone I will make a Con O'Neill drinking game.

"Are you calling me a hypocrite?" *Slight head tilt* -ME rolling on the floor laughing

Good on Ralph for staying with him though.

AWWW. Ralph's an asshole but this is one of the few cases that's gotten to him! I love it. :)

Aww, they are sweet as a couple, but he needs to reorient himself. Find his own center and work on not 'always looking for doubt' before moving on.

OH GOD! Don't fucking smile Con. It's mean. To me. Personally.

AHHH! HIS TICKS WHEN HE'S LYING! Okay, that's funny as shit. I love him.

It's good that the main defense younger lady and the defendant trust each other. AND CON'S GRIN!

Say what you will, this man loves his job

OH SO YOU'LL LET THE SENIOR DEFENSE CHAT AND BE EXTRA BUT NOT THE JUNIOR! RUDE!

OHHHH SHIT THEY GAVE HIM BACK (the inhaler) EVIDENCE

AHHHHHHH!H!H!H!H!HH!H!HH HE TOOK EVIDENCE BITCH! It proves that he stayed in her bed

RALPH SMILING AHHHH!H!H!H!H!H!HH!

Oh they're getting him addicted to drugs to keep him loyal. Whelp. That's going to ruin him.

EPISODE 4:

Why is Ralph going into his clients home?

Ralph(I'm paraphrasing)- Look, I'm a hard ass. I'm a dick who usually has guilty clients and does what he can to abuse loopholes and police mistakes to get them free. If I have a gut feeling, that really fucking matters. So I'm going to do what I can.

Yeah, the neighbor did it

OHHHH! SHE PULLED RANK ON RALPH AHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Stone is pissed, and doesn't want to freak out in court. OR HE'S GOING TO EXAMINE A WITNESS?

What act is he playing here? I love it. He's being a clever cheeky bastard. Knowing how people want to treat court like they're the important heros that can save the day! AHAHHAH! I love it.

"Are you the kind of person-"- SHUT THE FUCK UP-He's just trying to establish his character before crushing it.

OHHH THEY ARE ABUSING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS COYNESS AND NERVOUSNESS WHEN TALKING ABOUT SEX.

AND HE'S HIDING EVIDENCE

Ralph, I love you. Babe. This is the kind of trust in the justice system I need.

Another court scene goes by without note. But Ralph shows up? Oh boy, I'm typing.

OOOOHHHH RALPH GETS TO BE A DETECTIVE!

SCENE SKIP

WHY ARE THE CLIENT AND YONGER LADY DEFENSE ATTORNEY SMOOCHIN? EXCUSE ME? ISN'T THAT AGE GAP WEIRD??!?!?!??!?

Oh good. Ralph.

OH MY GOD HIM FUCKING SITTING ON THE TABLE? Me Moment. Queer? Coded. I'm assigning it to him. I'm giving him an honorary badge even though this is probably one of his straightest roles.

Ralph- "I like getting my clients off." YEAH so does she! *Ba Dumb Tisk*. See, Ralph is smart. Get entangled with others in the arm of the law, not your fucking client.

Scene passes without note. But a few prison scenes go by.

GLASSES!!!!!! Look at them! THE EXAMINER GENUINELY HELPED. I'd also be smiling at him like that.

Aww, Ralph's trying to ask without asking to hang out with a friend.

Skipped a bit. Back in court.

AWW Ralph and the yonger female defense attorney leaning together to chat.

BRO HE IS SO WHIPPED FOR THE EXAMINER! I LOVE THIS!!!!!

THAT FUCKING SMILE. GOOD FOR HIM! GOOD FOR HELLEN! I love that they're immediately like, yeah, this might be a conflict of witness BUT. She still has a point.

I WOULD BE SWAYED BY HIS CHARM! I HAVE BEEN SWAYED BY HIS CHARM.

DAMN. Good on the friend/witness.

Oh wow, the cellmate is just as shitty and corrupt as everyone else? I'm shocked.

I love Ralph trying his best here.

"You're 46 years old, what do you know about justice?" :0. WOW.

OH SHIT THIS MIGHT FUCK THIS ALL UP. CALLING IN THE DAD IF HE HAS AN ALIBI

OHHHH FUCK. RALPH IS A SECOND FROM STEPPING IN.

OHHHH FUCK. GOOD ON HER. CALL THE DAD OUT FOR BEING ABUSIVE.

FUCK if they pull her in the case is fucked.

YEP RALPH SEES IT! SHIT!!!!!!

EP 5:

JURY CONSIDERING VERDICT!

HI RALPH! LOVE YOU BABE!

Hour and a half deliberation is good!

Yeah, I should have seen that coming.

WHELP. SHIT.

He's going to kill himself within a year. Calling it now.

That moment when you work the same job as our prisoner protagonist 😐. Hey, don't dis a dishwashing job, protag. It's nice and easy.

HI CON!

"'Self-deprecating jokes get you out of hard questions'- avoids the question by shoving toast in his mouth"-me. God, I was messaging @dianetastesmetal during this bit. Who pointed out how loving these characters is a form of self-love, and I will partially embrace it. Maybe I just want to see a man with a nice chest and a nice smile huh! ;)

Oh good, the protagonist is doing more drugs. Love that

GLASSES! I AM BACK ON MY WHORE SHIT.

The hugging of the book! THE GRINNING! AHH!

This is why Ralph is emotionally distant, 'cause he's lost good cases before. HAHAHAHHA HE CAN'T LET IT GO.

AHHHHH!H!H!H!HH!!H THE TUFTED-UP HAIR ENTERING THE PRISON!

OH SHIT! RALPH INVESTIGATING THEIR RELATIONSHIP! He's asking the protagonist to sell out his legal advisor!

No, RALPH IS SO RIGHT! She abused her station and got too close.

Oh good. Another arm of the law is weird around police reports and evidence. Great.

AHHH! Her sewing that little tidbit in the cop's head! She's onto him!

Yeah, good on our protag to stand up for himself.

Cellmate is going to get killed cause he knew too much, huh.

Hey, good on the cop for looking into it a bit more. Still a jackass. But you know.

Skipped a few scenes without note.

OHHH SHIT HE FILED THE SUIT!!!!!!! GOOD ON RALPH! We love a man who cares about giving justice to his client.

'Frances- out for blood after Ralph is about to ruin her career'

'Ralph-Half passed out on a couch with a rag over his eyes, already done with this conversation. Ready to throw every insult she directed to him back into his face.'

Ralph knew to get romantically entangled with a medical examiner and not a fucking witness.

GET IT RALPH! God, good for him. SHE ABUSED HER POSITION! She took everything they worked for and threw it all away. She didn't let their client find justice.

Yeah, cellmate's about to die, huh.

OHHHH SHIT! GET IT!!!!!! Good on him! Yeah, he's going to get murdered, but good on him. MURDER THAT BASTARD!

OHHH SHIT. THE ASSHOLE COP HELPED THE MOB!

GOOD ON THE CHIEF FOR CALLING HIM OUT! DAMN!

Oh, wow. Ben's life is ruined. He's hooked on drugs, and he thinks he has no prospects in life.

Now he can't fall asleep without listening to the radio.

Hi Ralph. Why are we talking about your feet?

Frances is fucked essentially.

Yeah, going in for a mistrial was the right option.

Yeah, no. Nothing would have changed if Ben told Ralph the truth the moment they met. Good on Ralph! Giving our protag a bit of closure on this whole thing. Telling that none of this was really his fault.

Yep. He had his last few free years of youth ripped from him.

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Final thoughts:

I think the fact that this was a mob member being the real murder and that it was covered up was the real thing here. The entire point and moral the audience was meant to learn. It didn't matter if Ben had the best case, the entire Crown was against him. Ralph and his team could have been the best defense lawyers in the world and it still would have gotten buried. I'm happy the final evidence came out, obviously, but Ben was fucked over in so many ways. Now what life does he have? He lost his friends, his trust in his family, and is now destined to fall back into the system he knows. It's a shame.

Con: 11+/10. Long hair AND glasses AND he's Exhausted! Perfect role. I want him. I want to be him. He's divorced, and sad, and I love it.

Ralph saved this series for me personally. He was so much fun. I will be updating the Con list here soon to include bit TV roles. Ralph is going to be high on my ranking. We are given a Con character who has REAL impact on the story, introduces the audience to the rules of this world, AND GETS A HAPPY ENDING! It's brilliant. Obviously, there are moral issues to him being such a good defense attorney to allow criminals to get away, but this whole story was about giving Ralph a different perspective. He's a slime-ball but he's not totally against change. Willing to look at other perspectives. He started to genuinely care about his client, and didn't treat it as some weird game of chess. Him genuinely helping the younger defense attorney was nice, especially because he rarely blew up at her for her choices. He did his best to help where he could and didn't take things personally when shit blew up.

Con's acting here is so fun and fluid! I hate being a person that ties OFMD into everything, but this is kind of what I want Izzy to become. Con's allowed to be fun! He's allowed to be mad, suspicious, have doubt etc. There are a few scenes that got me chuckling just by his face! He feels really confident and comfortable in this role. He talks with his hands! He's a dick, a total slime-ball, but he really cares about getting things done right! I love it.

Everyone else: 8/10. Nothing really stood out besides our protagonist, and after a quick google, he won an award for this role. Which is deserved. He does great. I liked the characters the show wanted me to like, and vice versa.

Story 7/10: Intriguing. I had fun, but this show sits more in the turn off your brain and gets swept along by the bullshit, vs trying to solve it yourself.

Overall. 9/10: I highly recommend it if the tags don't worry you. Con is in this enough to justify a Con watch. I have a thing for Professor esk Con. I will not be ashamed about that. His whole speech about how he was perceived was nice. Now, this is about five hours of commitment, but If you need something longer I'd recommend it.

#ralph stone #criminal justice (2008)#con oneill #con o'neill #ralphposting #criminal justice #I want his gender.#Con's Conography

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