#rafe fan fiction

[starkeygirlposts]

Goosebumps in my Sleeve V

This chapter has been a labor of love. I feel so lacking in creativity, but yet writing is all I can think about! Once I sit down to write, my mind goes blank. Anyway, this chapter is a little all over the place but I wanted to delve into some other topics/scenes from the timeline. I hope you enjoy this one! Please beware that this is NOT proof read and most likely contains several errors. I will eventually get around to proof reading it. Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x fem!reader Trigger warnings: angst, stepcest, drugs, swearing, pregnancy, smut(a whole drawer of warnings), discussion of suicide, swearing, domestic violence, mama and daddy kink, breeding kink, mention of abortion, talk of death and killing, idk what else lol 18+ mdni

SERIES MASTERLIST

THEN

To say that Rafe got possessive once you found out you were pregnant would be an understatement. Nothing you did was okay with him if he didn’t know about it first. No schedule change or unpredictable plans were allowed to be made without an argument ensuing and a slew of angry texts and missed calls.

You’d try telling him that you needed to keep everything normal and the same as it was before so to not draw any unnecessary attention to the two of you and your situation. But he’d tell you he "didn’t give a fuck”, and “that’s my kid you’ve got in there so you tell me this kind of shit.”

More times than not you’d wonder if you’d only become an incubator for his precious cargo. Whether or not he cared solely about the baby under your heart or also about its mother. So when you go grab tacos with two of your closest friends, you finally lose it when Rafe blows up your phone wondering where you are and why you didn’t tell him you wouldn’t be home. You’d left the house at 6:30, not knowing where Rafe was or when he would be home. Maybe it’s the sinking feeling in his gut when he silently opens your door to find your bedroom empty, his mind racing to the worse case scenario, or maybe it’s the demon buried deep inside of him needing to control your every move.

Your sat at the table at your favorite Mexican restaurant not even five minutes from tanneyhill, chip half dipped into the bowl of guacamole when your phone chimes. The conversation between the three of you halts, and you wave your hand, telling them to continue as you flip your phone over, already knowing who the alert was from. You try to keep a straight face as you read the message.

7:02PM Rafe: Where are you?

You look it over, re reading it three times before debating sending a simple reply, instead deciding to push the power button and set it back down on the table, flipping the silent switch before you do so.

You don’t exactly know why you don’t want to answer, as if the reply takes too much energy. But the two things that come to your mind first is that you not only feel suffocated, but you want to forget for just a moment.

Then at 7:08 he calls you. You obviously don’t answer.

7:08PM Rafe: This again?

2 more missed calls.

7:12PM Rafe: Am I really that shitty of a boyfriend that you don't even want to answer me?

7:15PM Rafe: You’re testing me aren’t you? Why?

7:19PM Rafe: You know I can see where you are right? You’re sharing your location with me.

You stopped sharing your location with Rafe.

7:21PM Rafe: Are you fucking kidding me? I swear to god I will show up there in 5 minutes and drag your ass out of there. Turn your location back on. I’m putting my shoes on right now.

You started sharing your location with Rafe.

7:22PM Rafe: So you can read all my messages and turn your location off and on but you can’t reply?

7:23PM You: I’m with my friends. Girl friends. I’ll text you when I’m leaving.

7:24PM Rafe: Yeah but that doesn’t work for me. I want you here now so wrap it up. If you need me to get you let me know.

You can’t help but scoff, raising your eyebrows which elicits a question from one of your friends asking you who’s texting you. You put your phone in your purse and try to forget about Rafe’s overbearing for an hour with your friends. Casually, you tell her it’s your mom going off about you not telling her you wouldn’t be home for dinner like you’re 14 years old. But when not even fifteen minutes go by and your friends are sat across from you looking over your head at what’s behind you, you ball your fists and finish the last sip of your drink before relaxing in your seat. You almost wish you would’ve just told them the truth. You can see the confusion on their faces as they blink from above you to eye level with you.

You can feel him next to you, but you pretend you don’t. Your friends mutter a confused “Hey Rafe…” before he’s bending down to your level to look at you. Reluctantly, you turn your head to look back at him and his brows shoot up. He silently places a $100 bill on the table and calmly tells you “Let’s go, we’re leaving."

You make the mistake of rolling your eyes, looking back to your friends.

“My friends said hello, Rafe. Why don’t you say hi?” You briefly look to both of your friends, hoping your gaze offers a silent apology.

He straightens back up, pulling your chair out for you. You finally look up at him, his eyes still locked on you as you now meet them with yours. “We haven’t even ordered dinner. I’ll be home in an hour.” You try to tell him, but he’s got your bag in his hand and his hand wraps around your upper arm, pulling you to your feet. His lips are next to your ear, hot breath casting a wind across your neck.

“Do not make a scene here. We’re leaving. Say goodbye.” He tells you, and you look back at him once more before looking down at your friends and telling them that your mom made your favorite and you’d rather avoid a blowout. The girls nod skeptically, looking at you and then at each other and then back to you.

“I’m really sorry, I’ll text you.” You tell them simply, before Rafe is tugging you to walk in front of him. His hand finds your lower back to guide you out of the restaurant and your phone vibrates in your hand. You glance down at it to see the name of you and your friends group chat pop up in your notifications. It reads a simple question.

“Are you okay?”

You take a deep breath, as deep as you can as you walk to Rafe’s truck before you type out a quick reply.

“Totally fine, so sorry. My mom’s been a maniac she Rafe’s just trying to avoid another explosion. I’m actually grateful lol"

Both girls love the message, and you quickly slip it into the pocket of your jeans as his arm leaves your back to open the door of the truck for you. You look back at him and he raises his brows, thrusting his hand forward for you to get in. You huff and relent, grabbing the inside handle and climb in.

You scoff and shake your head, pissed and upset as he climbs into the drivers side. He starts the engine and pulls into the street, not saying a word to you so you take the silence as an opportunity.

You don’t think before you speak, and you regret it instantly.

“Maybe I should’ve had an abortion."

The words fly out faster than you mean for them to, your tone dripping venom as you look ahead at the lit up road, totally vacant. He doesn’t respond, and you look next to you to him, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles are white. His brows are furrowed and his lip is curled in disgust. You know he heard you when he cocks his head and swerves the truck violently into the shoulder.

“What the fuck did you just say?” His tone drips with hatred, his head cocked but keeps his gaze straight ahead. You’re watching him, turning your body fully in your seat. You wonder for a brief moment if you should grovel, mumble out a quick “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” But for the briefest moment you wonder if you actually did…

“No…no, no. Say that again. Say it, I dare you.” He says darkly, finally turning his head to look at you. Your eyes connect and he’s staring at you so deeply you wonder if he can see the turning of your insides.

You’re silent, and his eyes squint like he’s trying to see better.

“Come on baby say it. Say it again. I want to hear you say that shit to me again.” You flinch when his hand jets out to grip the back of your neck harshly, and you cry out in surprise, muttering a “Rafe, stop.” before he’s dragging you closer to him, your belly jutting into the console. His nose presses against yours and he shakes your head as if to wake you up.

“Did you actually fucking say that? About my baby? Wish you would’ve done it, huh? You hate me that much?” He’s seething, seeing nothing but red, glitter sparkling his vision as he tries to focus on you. You try your best to pull your head back, but it’s no use as his grip is strong on your neck keeping you pressed to him. The bow breaks and you can’t help but shout;

“I don’t know, do you hate me that much?! It’s so fucking hard to tell!” Before you continue, his head cocks, his cheek meeting you nose as he takes a deep breath and laughs humorlessly.

“What the fuck? What are you talking about? Are you okay? I mean shit I know hor-"

You cut him off, pushing him back with your hands on his chest to be able to look at him.

“No Rafe! I’m not fucking okay! Thank you for finally asking! Why did you have to ruin tonight for me? Why wasn’t I allowed to get dinner with my friends? Five fucking minutes away from our house? Did you see any guys there? Any drugs on the table? Any alcohol? I didn’t even get to eat dinner! But because I’m having your baby it doesn’t matter right?"

He scoffs and furrows his brows in confusion, trying to get a word in but you slap him instead. His cheek burns, his lips parted in shock as he looks at you and rubs the mark. He shuts his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at you with intent. Your chest heaves and your hand goes to cover his on his cheek and you can’t help but mumble a “sorry…I -"

He cuts you off, hand leaving his face to grip yours.

“I am fucking terrified, okay? Aren’t you? You’re not — you don't get it! Baby you don’t fucking get it. Listen to me…no, listen to me!” You try to wrangle your head out of his grip, but both hands reach over to grab both of your cheeks between his hands, forcing you to look at him. His pupils are blown wide, his chest rising and his nostrils flared.

“Look at me, you remember that night don’t you? I know you do. Look at me and tell me. Do you mean it? You wish you aborted the baby?” He asks you this rhetorically, but maybe you really do wish you’d just done what Ward told you to. You take a deep breath and fight the tears that threaten to spill over, and they do when you clench your lids closed in regret. Your hand subconsciously drifts to your middle and you shake your head in Rafe’s hands.

“Say it, I need to hear you say it.” His voice is soft now, coaxing you to open your eyes and when you do, he’s ducked his head to look as close at you as he can and you quietly say “No.” He silently nods his head once, and you can’t help the tears that fall down your cheeks and over his fingers.

You’re still shaking your head and you tell him again. “No, no I shouldn’t have…I didn’t mean it. I want her.” You tell him honestly and you see him smile for the first time in so long and he leans down to kiss you, pecking your lips deeply. Your body is rigid against his, sobs shaking your form as you say again “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know, I know you didn’t baby, it’s okay, I know.” He tells you like he’s comforting a child. “I need you to hear me right now, okay?” He asks, serious, pulling away from you to bring your head up to meet his gaze.

“I paid people so you’d get to keep the baby. My father will pay people so that we can’t. Whether that’s right back where we were, or ripping her from your arms. Tell me you understand that. You are not safe. We are not safe.” He says, shaking his head.

You look at him, silent for a moment, and your mind betrays you. You allow yourself to imagine the moment your baby comes out of you and instead of Rafe there, it’s Ward. And instead of your slimy baby being placed on your bare chest, they’re whisked away from you without any words exchanged.

Your hands absentmindedly find Rafe’s forearms that are still holding your face in his hands and you mutter a small “I understand."

“Yeah?” He asks you, and you nod and tell him again that you understand.

“Don’t bring me back there tonight, I - I can’t go back there right now.” You softly say, your mind mushy and your emotions ruined.

You see him nodding, and he calls Topper, asking him if you can use his pool house.

Next thing you know you’re pulling into Top’s driveway, his parents away on vacation and it’s probably the only reason Rafe came here rather than paying for a hotel room.

When you get inside, and the blinds are drawn, you settle on the edge of the made bed having kicked off your shoes and unhooked your bra. You’re watching him pace around to make sure the windows are locked and covered well enough, and when you assume he’s satisfied with the barricade, he finally looks at you. You and all your messy glory. But you’ve shed your pullover and now you’re just in a thin tank top, your bra removed and he looks down to your bump. It’s more prominent, unable to be hidden in regular clothes, and he laughs when he sees the makeshift hair tie closure on your jeans.

You can’t remember the last time you heard him actually laugh. Not laugh without humor, not scoff, but actually laugh with genuine joy. You can’t help but smile with him as he closes the space between you, brushing your hair back from your face and tipping it back so you can meet his eyes.

“Getting bigger, huh?” He asks, still smiling and you nod, hand resting on the biggest part of your belly. At 14 weeks, you were unable to wear most of your clothes, save for 2 pairs of jeans that still closed with a makeshift tie, and some oversized tops and sweaters. You were afraid that you were approaching the point where wearing sweaters in the heat of summer would raise suspicions. You mumble a quiet “mhm”. Your other hand drifts down to said makeshift tie to undo it, freeing your lower belly from the restriction. You shift so you can wiggle them down and over your hips, Rafe watching your movements. You move to stand in front of him and tug the denim all the way down to your knees, allowing them to slide the rest of the way off and kick them off with your feet. His hands drift down your neck, over your arms, to your hands and he grips them, bringing each up to his mouth to kiss each palm while watching you.

You’re watching him back, eyes glued to his as he presses slow, open mouthes kisses up your arm until he drops them and palms your lower back with one hand while the other cups your neck to tilt your head up so that he can crane his neck and press his lips to yours. It feels like too long since you’ve been kissed like this by him, your shoulders slumping in relief as his tongue slips past your lips to flick against yours.

You’re putty in his hands, kissing him back as eagerly as you can while your hormones rage and your emotions are tangled. Your hands rub up his back and around to his biceps, falling down to his elbows where your hands cup, trying to pull him closer to you.

As he takes a breath, you pull your head back to speak.

“You’re gonna love her more than me, aren’t you?” You ask shyly, unable to look at him when you ask, your hands falling away from his body to find the edge of the mattress, lowering your body down to sit.

You don’t see the furrow in his brow as he looks at you confused, his fingers reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ear as he cradles your chin in his palm. He moves to his knees before you, and you allow yourself to look at him as he does, looking at you with worry.

“Why would you say that? Gonna love ‘em just as much as I love you.” He tells you, trying to say the right thing. Truth be told, he did love the baby inside of you more deeply than he understood. But wasn’t that normal? Wasn’t he supposed to? Did he love the baby more than he loved you? How was that even possible?

“There wouldn’t be any baby in there if I didn’t love you as much as I do.” He tells you softly, and you nod in acceptance.

“Not just a way for you to continue your legacy?” You ask quietly and now he’s truly confused. He tells you to look at him, and you do.

“I’m gonna tell you this because I don’t want to hear any stupid shit like this again. M’kay?” He asks you, and you nod.

“If we didn’t make her, I don’t think I’d still be here right now.” Now its your brow furrowing, and your hands move to grip his, cautiously asking him what he means. He takes a deep breath and flutters his eyes closed like he’s ashamed.

“You know what I mean, baby. Don’t make me say it. Can’t live without you...you know that.” He tells you honestly and the tear that falls from his eye as he looks at you through saggy lids tell you everything you need to know.

You gasp without meaning to, and you can’t help the guilt brewing in your gut. The idea of a world without Rafe in it makes you want to throw up, your hands gripping his like a vice, and you beg him to never say that again.

“I can’t…I couldn’t do this without you.” You tell him, tears threatening to fall and he pulls you to him to cradle your head under his.

“You don’t have to. I’m here.” He says simply, pulling back just enough to lower his head and kiss you again, his lips soft and hesitant against yours like he’s asking permission, and you lean back on the bed in approval, relenting and his hands snake up to your bottom, fingers squeezing to drag you further up the bed, settling on his knees in between yours.

Your lips find a pace against his, allowing him to find clarity in your movements. Your hips mindlessly buck up against his and he breaks away from your lips to run a hand down the valley of your breasts down below your belly to the hem of your tank, pulling it up and over your head to leave you bare except for your panties that remain the only barrier he can’t see past.

Your chest is heaving, watching him hover above you, and your hands find their way to the hem of his own shirt, tugging on it trying to lift it but needing his help and he chuckles, pulling the shirt off from behind his head, throwing it to the growing pile of your clothing on the floor.

He watches your face as he drags his fingers past the top of your panties to use the tip of his pointer finger to brush down the middle of your panties, the pressure against your clit making you arch up off the bed to gain friction. You moan his name and look down at him. He’s leaning back on his calves, shirtless and watching you squirm in need of more.

“What is it baby?” He teases, cocking his head while he watches you in fascination, his fingers ghosting over your clothed slit, and you nearly cry in frustration. “Please don’t tease me, Rafe.” You groan, using your feet to try to tug him closer to you. But he tuts and tells you to “Relax”.

“Mama’s needy huh?” He croons, watching your expressions with lust, finally using his fingers to tug the crotch of your panties to the side so he can rub your cunt properly.

You throw your head back with a “yes!” falling from your lips. He uses his pointer finger to push inside of your gummy walls, his thumb coming to rub firm circles on your clit, the pressure tightening the knot inside of your gut. He adds his middle finger inside of you, curling his fingers upward to push at the spongey spot inside of you, knowing your body so well.

His other hand comes up to rest on the swell of your belly, your hand instinctively covering his and lacing your fingers through his. His fingers thrust in and out of you at a rapid speed, your hips bucking up off the bed when you’re about to snap. “Gonna make me cum Rafe!” You squeal, pushing out to feel yourself gush around his fingers, pushing up on your elbows to watch him. He’s watching his fingers fuck in and out of you, the wet squelch of you taking him in over and over. You collapse back against the soft mattress again after your chest stops heaving.

Rafe’s fingers leave your core and you can’t help the frustrated grunt that leaves your lips without intent. He climbs off the bed to unbuckle his jeans and push them down his hips to the floor, his boxers going with them. You lean up on your elbows again, watching him with hooded lids, heavy with bliss as he climbs back between your legs, using his palms to trail up your calves and behind your knees to press them into your chest, leaning down to brush his lips against your forehead.

“Such a pretty mama, doing so good for me baby. You ready for my cock?” He asks sweetly, trailing kisses down your cheek to your jaw and finally locks his lips with yours and pulls back to look at you. You nod at him meekly, looking up into his eyes and he tell you to “Use your words, pretty girl."

“Yes, yes please, need your cock. Please fuck me Rafe.” You ask with confidence, chasing his lips with your own, craving the contact. His hands tighten on the backs of your knees, almost folding you too tight. He’s careful not to rest himself on your belly, though. He locks his lips on yours as he lines himself up with your cunt, but collects your wetness on his mushroom tip as he lets go of one knee to guide himself up and down your slit before guiding himself inside you in one smooth thrust. He stills when he’s buried all the way inside and your mouth falls open in a sharp cry.

“Oh, fuck…so fucking deep. Oh my godddd”. You whine, craning your neck up to press your forehead to his, his bangs hanging in your eyes. He pulls back to rest on the backs of his calves, using both hands to once again press your knees beside you in a mating press and tells you to look down at yourself.

“Look how good your pretty pussy swallows me baby. She takes me so well. Shiitttt” You whine in defeat, trying to drift your eyes downward, but at this angle flat on your back, you realize your belly is too large to see past. You huff in defeat and tell him “can’t see, rafe…tummy's too big.”

Something snaps inside of him and he hastily brings a hand behind your neck to grab a fistful of hair from the back of your neck to crane your neck up at an uncomfy angle, and you try thrusting your head back, but he stuffs a pillow behind you instead, tugging your head up farther. “Look down baby. Look at yourself dirty girl. Watch daddy fuck you.” You whine a moan at the name he gives himself and you look down again with the pillow behind you, watching as his cock drags slowly out of you, shiny with your slick before disappearing again. It’s painfully slow and you groan out.

“Fuck, Rafe…so deep, hurts so goooood.” You whine out, hands finding his forearms to steady yourself. The pressure he’s building inside of you is becoming too much and you can’t help but clench around him. He feels it and chuckles, leaning down to breathe against your lips. “Noooooo baby, don’t do that. You can take it, you’re doing so good baby girl don’t push me out.” He’s speaking to you in a higher pitch like he’s coaching you through it, continuing "Just…fucking…take it” punctuating with each thrust his long cock makes inside you, bruising your cervix over and over. You whimper at his words, your nails digging half moons into his skin and you can’t help the mewls and whines that pour out of your mouth.

He starts to fuck into you at a brutal pace, his hips snapping against yours with lewd wet sounds, white cream forming around the base of his shaft as his sock leaks seed into you. “Fuck baby, m’gonna cum…need you to cum too. Can you cum for me?” He asks, lightly tapping your cheek with his hand, too fucked out to hold his stare. You look back down to where he’s disappearing inside your body, his thumb now rubbing your pearl and you clench around him before letting go, pushing out again and gushing around him. He groans and paints the inside of you with his seed, mouth agape with curses and moans pouring out like music to your ears. Hearing Rafe cum was one of your favorite moments together. Getting to hear how blissed out he was to be with you. How you were the one who made him fall over the edge.

He’s breathing heavily, hot breath fanning over your face as he all but collapses on top of you, pressing sloppy kisses to your neck and up to your ear lobe where he nibbles and whispers; “I love you so god damn much baby. Don’t ever wanna hear you question it again, kay?” His voice is lazy and groggy, but you nod eagerly and crane your neck so he’ll look at you.

You’re searching his eyes, finally telling him that “I love you…and I love her too.”

----

NOW

Rafe’s hand on your belly moves to leave your skin but the hand resting atop his keeps it where it is. You break your stare with Sarah to look over to him, his eyes trained on the road but you see the clench in his jaw and cringe on his face, his nose scrunched in revolt at having to listen to you describe that night to his sister.

Your other hand snakes around the back of his neck to cradle the cheek that faces the truck window and you lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder to press a gentle kiss his neck. You know how hard it is for him to relive one of the worst nights of his life, knowing that somewhere inside of him almost believes that it was real.

“I’m sorry.” You mouth against his neck and bring your cheek back down to rest on his shoulder.

Your eyes flutter closed before quietly saying “I think I’ve shared enough.” Before opening your eyes again and locking them with Sarah’s, her head nodding briefly and you can see the tears brimming her bottom lids.

It’s a sick thing to talk about, you know you’ve overshared, but it’s reality for you, Rafe and the little girl underneath your hands. It was the only way to really allow her to understand any of this. It’s hard to still give a shit about other people, but you think salvaging an aunt for your daughter isn’t beyond reach. So you’re trying. Whether that’s okay with Rafe or not.

His voice jolts you suddenly. annoyed and tired. “How much longer am I driving here, Sarah?” He asks while keeping his gaze ahead. She nervously fumbles her phone, stuttering with nerves, you watch her hands tremble as she turns her phone upside down and tap it back open. “U-Uhhh, it’s just straight ahead for another mile and then you’re turning left.”

He doesn’t acknowledge her answer, instead following John B’s tail closer, clearly antsy. He huffs out a breath, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

“Y/N and I are going to the Bahamas after your friends load the cross into that piece of shit. I need you to keep dad occupied until tomorrow.” He’s curt and to the point, looking over at her briefly, Sarah nodding once and saying “Yeah, yeah, okay. I can do that.”

You wonder if you’ve traumatized her, dragged her into your fucked up reality. How could you not have? It was not an easy pill to swallow knowing her father truly was a monster. You think that up until now she thought that family was above all else to him and that he’d prioritize herself and her siblings above all else. You’re a little bit sorry you had to be the one to crush that idealization.

Sarah’s telling him to turn left and as he does, suddenly questioning “Hey Sarah?” almost innocently. You look up at him in wonder. You couldn’t have guessed what came from him next.

Sarah hums as he asks almost petulantly; “You think dad would ever make you kill your kid?” He turns his head to look at her and she looks back at him sharply, sucking a breath between her teeth, taken aback. Your own head flies to look at him and you can’t help but rush his name out of your lips in a scold, and you tense, stomach clenching in unease, shocked tears forming in her eyes and she finally shakes her head. It’s a trap question - that you’re smart enough to know and you know she is too. He doesn’t expect an answer. Because he knows that she knows the answer and that he knows it all the same.

No. Ward would never. And that’s why he wrapped his hands around her neck that night and shoved her underwater. Ward seemingly took away his little girl, so he’d take his away, too.

You wince and it hits you hard that your daughter will not be having a relationship with her aunt. Not if her dad can help it. The hatred he feels for his own sister stems so deep inside of him that allowing the idea of his child to grow to love someone he so deeply hates makes him sick. He will not allow his own flesh and blood the chance to be rejected by her like he had been his entire life.

It was his way of telling you without telling you that no - Sarah would not remain in your life and more importantly, your daughters.

For the first time, you have no rebuttal. Because you finally understand how deep the betrayal and loyalties lie, and there was no way to explain it away or reason differently. And for the first time, you're okay with the outcome.

Please leave a comment, and reblog! I’d love to hear from you guys what you’d like to see in this story via ask box/requests. I will answer any and all submissions! NOTE that I will NOT add you to the tag list if you are only commenting to add to the list.

See y’all soon!

[littlxpxtal]

A World Alone

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 1.4K

All the double-edged people into schemes

They make a mess, then go home and get clean

You're my best friend, and we're dancing in a world alone

World alone, we're all alone

I know we're not everlasting

We're a train wreck waiting to happen

One day the blood won't flow so gladly

One day we'll all get still

December Continued

The aroma of the house smells like a warm cookie. Mom had put out the desserts and I was finally able to excuse myself form the dinner table, down to my room to experience the first moment of silence since 8am this morning. After lighting a candle and changing into my pajamas, I settled into bed, turning on the TV and continuing the episode of The Vampire Diaries I had fallen asleep to last night.

A few moments later my phone started buzzing.

Income FaceTime Call: Rafe Cameron

“Hello?” I ask in a hushed voice as if anyone would know I just answered a phone call from Rafe.

“Alright what the fuck” he starts, his face contorted with anger, a hoodie pulled over his head, airpods in.

“Excuse me?” I ask, sitting up in my bed.

“Just watched the second to last episode of this first fucking season and ‘m pissed.”

I think back to what happens in season 1 in Game of Thrones and begin to laugh.

“Oh yea I should’ve warned you. The ninth episode of every season is like known for being chaotic.” I respond, trying to hold in my giggles at the thought of Rafe being frustrated over the loss of an extremely prevalent character for his first and not last heartbreak of this show.

“Yea a warning would’ve been nice I dont even wanna finish this shit now.” he huffs into the phone.

“What time is it there?” I ask, trying to change the subject and cheer him up.

“It’s like 3:30. What about you?”

“9:30. Im practically ready for bed.” I say with a yawn, laying back down and propping my phone up on my pillow. “How’s your Holiday been?”

“It’s fine. We did the whole forced family bonding earlier. We were out all morning so I’ve just been laying around until it’s time to get ready for dinner.”

“That sounds like fun.” I say, my droopy eyelids fluttered closed for a second.

“What about you sleepy?” he asks. I pop my eyes back open.

“Opened presents bright and early, had breakfast brunch with everyone. We played board games and prepped dinner, had dinner and then sat around and talked.” I went on, recounting my day as Rafe stared at me intently through the phone.

“That actually sounds nice. If it was with people I could stand to be around.” I laugh and rub my eyes.

“Yea, they’re fine. It’s always nice to see them but sometimes I wish I could just go far away.” I murmur.

“Like Bora Bora far?” Rafe says with a grin.

“Yes, Bora Bora far.”

“You should’ve came with us.”

I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.

“‘M serious. You used to come on trips with us all the time.”

I recount the trips I used to take with the Cameron’s when we were kids. For a while there I was practically their fourth kid. We visited Florida numerous times, went up the coast to New York, Boston and Maine. One year we had even convinced our parents to send us all to the same surf camp in California. Lucy and Wheezie were too young to go, but they packed me, Kinsey, Sarah and Rafe on a plane for two weeks.

“You thinking about that one surf camp?” Rafe asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yea how’d you know?”

“Cus that was all you and Sarah could talk about for months, how could I forget.” he says with a smile.

“I had my first kiss on the trip.” I gleam into the camera with a full smile.

“Yeah and you wouldn’t shut up about it.” Rafe chuckles.

“Who’re you talking to?” Sarah’s voice comes through the phone, slightly muffled, but it’s so recognizable I wouldn’t miss it.

“Y/N” Rafe says, turning the phone to face Sarah and she leans down and smiles, waving at me.

“Girl why the fuck are you on FaceTime with Rafe.”

“He called me to bitch about Game of Thrones.”

“Oh my god you got him into that shit too?” she asks with a smirk, looking at Rafe and then back at me through the phone screen. “You two are something else.” she says walking away.

“Alright ‘m gonna let you go.” Rafe says, fumbling with something on the couch, probably looking for the remote to watch the season finale.

“Okay, bye Rafe.”

“Bye Y/N Sweet dreams.” he says with a wink. The call ends, and almost immediately my phone starts ringing again.

Incoming FaceTime call: Sarah Cameron

I hesitate for a second, but accept the call. Shes now in a bathroom, away from Rafe.

“So what’s going on between you two.” I’m thrown off by her bluntness as she combs her hair, the phone propped up on the bathroom counter.

“What do you mean?” I ask, unsure of how this conversation was going to go. She starts to part her hair and smiles into the camera.

“You know exactly what I mean.” she was right. I did. I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone, while she was miles away. I was hoping to have it when they got back form their trip. I sigh and turn over in my bed.

“There’s not much going on. We’ve just been seeing each other a lot more recently.” I say nonchalantly. Not completely lying, but keeping the whole truth in.

“You guys totally fucked.” she says, laughing into the camera, working her hands to complete a dutch braid on the left part of her hair. I gulp and shake my head.

“What?” I ask, dumbfounded.

“You and Rafe were bound to happen.” she says smugly. I furrow my eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s always had a thing for you. It didn’t ever seem like you reciprocated but he’s been after you since I can remember.”

“Sarah what are you talking about?” I ask again, feeling a weird knot in my stomach. Rafe and I’s relationship was purely sexual at this point. We weren’t “together”. What does she mean hes been after me?

“Remember when we used to go to Carowinds, and Rafe always sat by you on the rides, while me and Wheezie sat together?” She says, finishing up the braid and starting up on the other half of her hair.

“I thought that was because Wheezie wanted to sit by you on the big rides.”

“No it’s because Rafe would force us to let him sit with you.” I think back to all the rides we rode the last few times we would take trips to Charlotte and visit the amusement park. Now that the memory resurfaces, I recount all the times Rafe has made his way to the seat right next to me. Every. Single. Time.

“Its not like that.” I finally say.

“I’m sure its not, Rafe’s not one for commitment. But I knew something was up when I saw your name popping up on his phone more than mine.” she says with a straight face.

“Sarah I’m sorry. I really didn’t know how to tell you. I wasn’t even really sure what was happening myself. He’s kind of confusing and I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know what I want. We’re just messing around.” I mumble the last part, embarrassed to see her reaction. She finishes up her last braid and picks the phone up.

“I’m not mad.” she says. “I just want you to be careful. Rafe can do whatever he wants but when it comes to you, “ she pauses for a second. I hold my breath, waiting for her to continue.

“Look you’ve got a lot of people on your side. A lot of people that don’t want to see you get hurt. Just remember that.” I know she’s referencing JJ, John B, Pope and Kiara. I smile faintly at the screen at the thought of my friends having my back, even when I feel like I can no longer return the favor.

“I love you Sarah.” I respond. She smiles sweetly into the phone.

“I love you too. Now help me pick out my dress for dinner.”

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[beyonddmythoughtssworld]

always there | rafe cameron x reader

Summary: Being best friends with Rafe means pulling him out of the bullshit he gets himself into. Being in love with said best friend means waiting for the day he realizes that he wants you back. Unfortunately for both of you, Rafe realizes too late.

Word Count: 10.2k

Warnings: 18+ content, angst, drinking, mentions of cocaine use, unrequited love, asshole!rafe, smut, no condom, shower sex, slapping, spanking, small amount of anal play, daddy kink

"Y/N!"

You laugh when Topper swings open the passenger side door, arms wide as he greets you. Kelce fumbles with the door to the back, whining and asking for your help. You're about to take your seatbelt off when Rafe comes over, opening the door and pushing Kelce inside the car.

The drunk man stumbles in, giggling as he sits up and relaxes back into the seat as you bite your lip to hold in a smile. Topper is about to climb into the passenger side when Rafe stops him with a hand on his shoulder, moving him back so he can climb in the seat himself.

Topper lets out a noise in protest, "Come on, man! You always get the front."

"That's because the front is my seat," Rafe speaks slowly as he leans his head back on the seat, turning to face you with a slanted smile. "Right, Y/N?"

Your heart picks up when his blue eyes meet yours, glancing down to your lips so quick you think you imagined it. He knew what he was doing; he always does. That doesn't stop the shiver that goes down your spine, but you recover and feign nonchalance as you lean on the middle console to look at Topper.

"Technically... it is his seat," You shrug, Topper letting out an I swear before climbing in the back next to Kelce and shoves him over slightly, making Kelce plop over so he's leaning against the other door. You start the car, pulling out of the random driveway away from the party. Heading in the direction of your house, you prepare for a night of stopping them from choking in their own vomit.

"Seems like the party was fun," You speak over the low music, taking your phone to skip the song. Rafe reaches over, grabbing your phone from your hand as he unlocks it, starting to scroll through the playlist.

"It was, actually," Rafe muttered, glancing over at you. "You should've come."

You let go of the small part of you that read into his words, hoping he really did miss that you weren't there. Normally, you go to every party with them, always together. It'd been like that since high school, but you weren't in the mood to be ditched by Rafe five minutes in for some random girl.

"If I did, who else was gonna come save your drunk asses?" You asked sarcastically, Topper jumping into the conversation as he leans forward on the middle console.

"Touché."

"How did you know we needed a ride? I don't remember texting you..." Kelce trails off, and you look in the rearview mirror to see him fumbling to get into his back pocket where his phone was.

"Rafe did."

"Ahh, right," Kelce stops his movements, looking at you with a mischievous look. "That makes more sense."

You roll your eyes, grateful that Rafe is too busy scrolling through your phone for a song -- still. It was no secret that you had a little crush on Rafe, but you hated when they would make subtle jokes about it. You knew they were harmless; if they knew your feelings weren't just some small, schoolgirl crush they wouldn't make fun of you, especially in front of Rafe.

You can't place when you started having feelings for your oldest friend; maybe you always had them. But Rafe mastered the art of feigning oblivion to the way you look at him or would drop everything at his word, only teasing you sometimes when he's drunk.

You're about to respond when you notice the look on Kelce's face as he swallows whatever the hell was about to come up. Your nose crinkles in disgust, "Don't throw up in my car."

"You better not fucking puke," Rafe says at the same time, Topper moving over to the other door. Kelce takes a moment, raising his arms and nodding his head as he chokes out, "I'm good."

The rest of the ride is fairly smooth; if you ignore Kelce complaining about his stomach, Topper complaining about feeling dizzy because the alcohol just fully hit him, and Rafe complaining about them complaining. Fortunately for you, you've grown accustomed to their antics, turning up the music to drown them out.

The second you park in the driveway, Kelce is stumbling out of the backseat, throwing up in the bushes. You look away, walking over to the other side to see Rafe opening the door for Topper, slapping his cheek to wake him up.

"I got them," He tells you, nodding back to the house. "Might want to get the toilet ready."

You give him a nod, watching as he tugs Topper out of the seat but makes him walk by himself. Topper stumbles next to you as Rafe goes over to pick up Kelce from the bushes, throwing the drunk friend's arm over his shoulder so he can walk him behind you guys inside the house.

Unlocking the front door, you walk down the hall to open the door to the small bathroom. Rafe drags Kelce into the bathroom, placing him against the wall next to the toilet. You come back with bottled water, handing it to Rafe who puts it on the floor next to Kelce. You guys keep the door open as you walk back to the kitchen.

Topper was passed out laying on his stomach with one of his legs dangling off the couch, leaving you and Rafe. Rafe leans against the island as you walk to the fridge, grabbing a couple more bottled waters. You walk back to the counter to take a seat next to Rafe, handing him a water that he instantly opens and gulps down.

You lean over to grab the container of Oreos, opening it and grabbing one. You sit back in the seat, separating the cookie and scraping the creme to one side. "You don't seem as drunk as them."

Rafe puts the water down, leaning back onto his elbows.

"They didn't have any of the good shit," He shrugged. "Besides, if I did you would've had to carry three drunks in the house and you can barely hold yourself up."

You slap his arm, Rafe looking down at the movement before looking up at you again, "What were doing before you came to get us?"

"Just watching a movie," You shrug, eating one half of the cookie. "Why?"

Rafe shakes his head, lifting a shoulder as he reaches over to grab an Oreo, "You look good."

Your face flushes at his words. You weren't wearing anything special; you didn't plan on going inside the party so you just stayed in your sleeping shorts and Friends big tee with a random pair of uggs. He doesn't need to know you splashed your face with some water and fluffed your hair a little.

"Nice to know you're at least drunk enough to flirt with me," You play off, popping the other half of the cookie into your mouth as he knits his eyebrows at you. "What do you mean?"

You want to roll your eyes at his feigned confusion, the cocky smile revealing itself the longer you look at him. You reach over to grab another cookie as Rafe walks around the kitchen to the cellarette and looks at the selection.

He pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, holding it up and looking back at you, "Now this... this is the good shit."

He walks to the cabinet, opening it and grabbing two shot glasses expertly between his fingers. Walking back to his previous position next to you, Rafe places the shot glasses down and unscrews the bottle, filling the shot glasses.

You finish the last bites of the cookie, grabbing a shot glass and lifting your arm up. Rafe taps his shot glass against yours, the both of you keeping eye contact as Rafe toasts, "To having our own party."

•••

The sweltering heat made you sigh against the seat of the golf cart, rubbing the sweat from your forehead as you got up to walk over to where the boys were golfing.

"Are you guys almost done now?"

"Y/N. You know we're not," Kelce rolls his eyes.

You groan as you clutch your stomach dramatically, "I'm starving."

"We got you fries on the way here," Topper placates, swinging his club at the golf ball and watching it move closer to the hole.

"And that did so much," You deadpan.

"We only have a couple more holes," Rafe comes over, pulling at the curls in front of your face. "I promise, we'll go to the Club after."

You slap his hand away, crossing your arms as you walk back to the golf cart. You hear Kelce grunt, making you look back to see him holding his arm as Rafe glances at you. Ignoring it, you decide you’re over this heat and walk towards the Club. They were almost done anyway.

You open the entrance of the Country Club, heading to the bar where JJ Maybank was working. You take a seat, smiling at him to catch his attention. The blonde finishes the drink he's making, leaning over the counter to you.

"What can I get you, pretty girl?" He winks, and you lean back with a flirtatious finger twisting your hair.

"I'd love two Mai Tais, one Jack and Coke and a Tequila Sunrise," You order, knowing everyone's go-to drink by heart at this point. JJ smirks at you, "Tough day?"

You laugh at his joke, "No, I just have a few idiots coming behind me."

"Right.. Death Squad," JJ mutters as he pulls out the glasses and starts making your and Topper's drinks first.

"Death what?" You ask, never hearing that one before. JJ gives you a pointed look as he pours the Curaçao and syrup into the glasses.

"You know, Death Squad," He shrugged. "Cause they're most likely to snap and kill someone."

Your lips pressed together to hold in a smile as you shake your head, the way he said it making you want to break out in laughter. JJ finishes the drinks, placing the garnish on top and sliding your drink over to you.

You bow your head as you thank him, grabbing the drink and taking a sip. He laughs, starting working on the tequila when you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, looking over to see Rafe giving you two an expectant look, "What's so funny?"

You ignore the fondness fluttering in your chest as you tell yourself Rafe wasn’t being jealous — no matter how much you hoped he was. He was simply reacting because he saw you talking to the Pogue.

"She is," JJ replied, pouring the tequila and orange juice into the tall glass as he stares back at Rafe. He only breaks eye contact when the glass fills up, adding the syrup and sliding it over as well.

Rafe scoffs, taking his arm off your shoulder as he gets comfortable at the bar, opening his mouth to say something when you interrupted.

"Top, I got you a Mai Tai," You call out, handing the drink to the blonde behind you. You grab Kelce's as well, handing it to him before standing up. "Here, Kelce."

You're pushing the seat back into the bar and grabbing your drink as JJ is done pouring the coke Rafe's, sliding it over to him. He catches it but keeps his eyes on you, only looking away to give a pointed look at JJ, taking a sip of his drink as you all head to a table in the back.

As you sit, you grab a menu as Rafe leans back in his seat, rubbing his fingers over his chin, "What was that?"

"What was what?" You ask, not looking away from your menu. Rafe is silent for a moment, leaning up to grab his drink and take a sip. "Nothing."

Topper whistles and Kelce darts his eyes between you two.

"Should we leave?" He jokes, and you and Rafe break whatever tension was building and move around in your seats. You kick Kelce under the table lightly, "Shut up."

"I don't know why you got me a Mai Tai," Topper blurts, all three of you speaking robotically as you reply to him.

"You love Mai Tais."

"Whatever," He mutters, taking a sip of the drink. "So what's the plan for tonight?"

"Um, hello? It's the third Saturday of the month," You give them all an expectant look. The three boys make a chorus of protests and groans, making you point at them with a glare. "Hell no. I deal with golf and parties and poker all month. You guys are giving me my girls' night."

You look around at them, Rafe being the first to crack with a grumble.

"Fine. But we're not doing that face mask shit," He snapped.

Topper tilts his head with a sheepish look, "I don't know, man. My face felt pretty good afterwards."

"What are you saying right now?" Kelce asks with an incredulous look, and you roll your eyes as the waitress makes her way over to you guys.

"It's either face masks or mani pedis," You say with a final tone, the guys grimacing at each other. You beam a smile. "Okay then."

•••

You're rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you reach over to grab your phone, not looking at the number before answering and placing the phone against your ear.

"Hello?" You groggily ask. You hear a sigh of relief on the other end, Rafe's voice ringing through the phone.

"I need you to pick me up from the station."

You sit up at that, turning on your bedside lamp as you slide off of the bed, "What?"

"I'll explain when you get here just... get here," He tells you, hanging up the phone. You scoff, changing into shorts and a hoodie and throwing on a pair of converse. Grabbing your keys, you walk down the stairs, out the front door and to your car.

Your annoyance grows as you drive to the police station, wondering what the hell Rafe got himself into. You're happy that he at least posted his own bail, but being woken up at three in the morning to pick up your friend from jail was not exactly a mood booster.

You pull up the police station, seeing Rafe sitting on the stairs. He gets up, stumbling slightly making you sigh. Of course he was drunk. He walks over to the car, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he at least has the decency to look ashamed. Opening the passenger side door, he climbs in.

"You fucking reek." Your nose scrunches in disgust when you get a whiff of the alcohol radiating off his body like a plague.

He slams the door shut, leaning back as he rubs his temple, "Good to see you, too."

You put the car into reverse, pulling out of the parking lot and driving away from the station. You relax against your seat as you go in the direction of his house.

"Are you even gonna ask?" He breaks the silence.

"Do I want to know?"

"I just got into a fight," He explains anyway, playing with the rings on his fingers. "Was at the bar.. guy started some shit so I decked him."

You look over at him, seeing a shiner on his left eye, before facing the road again. "Seems like he got a couple shots off."

He laughs at that, flicking your neck playfully. You flinch away slightly, bumping his hand away with your shoulder. The energy in the car grows a little more serious as you sigh at your combative friend.

"Rafe," You start, "You're twenty. You're too old to be getting into random fights with drunks. You have too much to lose."

"Like what? My job?" Rafe scoffs, shaking his head as he mutters. "My dad makes it very clear I'm expendable."

You flick on the turning signal, making your way into his neighborhood as you look over at him again. "Is that what this is about? You get into an argument with your dad and just go out punching people?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, jaw clenching as he looks down at his rings, "You don't understand."

"I understand the most," You reply, and Rafe lets out a dark chuckle.

"Y/N, I know you're not familiar with the concept, but when you have a father it fucking sucks when they treat you like you're some throwaway."

Your mind goes blank for a second, scoffing as you shake your head. You only had your mom in your life; your dad walking out when you were just a baby. You've grown indifferent to the man over the years, but you've been around Rafe and his dad enough to be grateful for not having your own.

You knew you didn't understand what it was like; that's not what you meant. You meant that you understand him, and he knew that. But the second any conversation turns towards his dad, Rafe grows cold and mean. It's the side of Rafe you don't like seeing, especially when it's aimed towards you.

Rafe lets out a sigh, "Y/N. I didn't mean-"

“Just drop it.”

The rest of the ride is silent. Luckily for you, you were already in his neighborhood when he made the bonehead comment, so you didn’t have to sit in silence for long. Rafe sighed as he leaned his head back, looking at you when you parked the car.

You continue to look forward, not wanting to give him the chance to flash a smile and make you forget about him being an asshole. Rafe sighs dramatically, opening the door but pausing.

You feel his breath on you, making you turn your head just as he leans over to place a quick kiss on your cheek. He ends up kissing the corner of your mouth, pulling way to mumble, “I’m gonna get my shit together. Promise.”

Not affected in the slightest, he climbs out of the car, shutting the door and stumbling across the yard to the front door of his house. Meanwhile, a surge of affection comes across you, the mean words he spoke being forgotten now that your mind races about the accidental kiss.

•••

It's been about a week since the ‘kiss’, neither one of you bringing it up afterwards. You didn't bring it up because you were sure he didn't remember his drunk actions; and you were grateful that Rafe didn't just as much as you were disappointed.

Part of you did hope that you were in some stupid romantic comedy, where the guy remembers the drunk kiss and comes knocking on your door the next morning to kiss you again while sober. However, you reminded yourself this wasn't that.

If anything, it was a horror movie with the way you had to watch Rafe pull some random girl closer to his chest as he played beer pong against Topper. When he gets a shot in, he cheers as he brings the girl to him, kissing her. You grimace, looking away.

You feel Kelce come up next to you, bumping his arm against you as he holds out a red solo cup. You look at it with a confused look, grabbing the cup and sniffing it before looking at Kelce like he was crazy.

"Figured you needed something stronger than whatever pink drink you have," He defends, nodding over at Rafe. You shrug, your friend not telling any lies. You lift the cup up, gulping down the drink and wincing at the burn as it runs down your throat. The two of you stand there silently for a few moments, you breaking the silence to speak your thoughts.

"I'm stupid, aren't I?"

"Like.. in general? Nah," Kelce playfully answers, pointing at the blonde who holds your affection. “With Cameron? Debatable."

"I'm serious.." You whine, turning your body to him. "Am I just a complete idiot for waiting around hoping he starts seeing me like.. that?"

You motion to the couple across the yard, taking another huge gulp of your drink.

“I don’t know,” Kelce answers as he slowly lowers your drink from your lips. At your pouted lip, Kelce sighs as he decides to grace you with a serious answer. “Rafe's a tough nut to crack. You're not an idiot for wanting to protect yourself."

"However.." He adds, "You are an idiot for waiting."

You give him an offended look, Kelce shrugging as he points across the room.

"You see that girl with Rafe?" He winces at the glare you shoot at him, speaking in a softer tone as he continues. "All I'm saying.. is that she came up to him. You’re hot, Y/N.  Sometimes you just need to grow some balls and go up to the person you want to make out with and let them know."

You take his words into consideration, nodding your head slightly. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol hitting, but it didn’t seem like horrible advice. You glance at Rafe, shooting your eyes back to Kelce once you notice the blonde taking a line off the girl’s breasts.

"And what do I do after that?"

"Dunno," He shrugs, taking a sip of his own drink. “Kiss him and see what happens.”

•••

“Mrs. Country Club, is that you?” Barry sings as he catches sight of you walking to where he's sitting next to his bike. He throws the wrench down in the tool box. “Well shit, it must be my lucky day.”

"In your dreams," You tease, crossing your arms when Barry checks you out.

“You sure are," He drawls, tossing his hands up in defense when you glare at him. "All jokes. What can I do for you today?"

"Here," You get straight to the point, pulling out a wad of cash and tossing it to the brunette, who catches it with raised eyebrows.

"Alright.. what you want for it-" He starts to get off the chair, but you stop him with a wave of your hands.

"I'm not here to buy. I want to make a deal," You continue when he sits back down with an intrigued look. "Stop selling to Rafe."

He lets out a long laugh at that, scratching his head with the money as he stands up again to walk closer to you, "Does he know the missus is over here playing babysitter?"

You clear your throat, knowing Rafe wouldn't appreciate you coming here in the slightest. But with him getting arrested a week ago and the endless lines he did at the party last night, you pushed his possible anger to the side and told yourself this is for the best. You had to at least try.

"He doesn't need to."

You walk off after that, heading to your car when you feel Barry grab your arm.

"Hold on now," He turns you around, gold tooth shining as he flashes a crooked smile. "Rafe's not done until he pays what he owes me."

You sigh, going into your purse and pulling out your wallet. "How much?"

•••

The sound of rapid knocks on the front door pulls you from your thoughts as you mix up the chocolate cake batter. Lifting up the electronic mixer to pause it, you grab a towel to wipe your hands as you walk to the front door. You open it, a tall figure pushing its way into your house.

“Rafe?”

“You have nerve.. I’ll give you that,” He chuckles dryly, pacing the hallway. He rubs his hand on his slacked jaw, shooting you a distasteful look. “So y-you’re paying my shit off and telling Barry not to sell to me now?”

Your eyes shut as you take his words in, sighing at the drug dealer’s big ass mouth. “You said you wanted to get your shit together. I was just-”

“I am getting my shit together.”

He gives you a pointed look, continuing to pace the hall as he mumbles to himself. He shakes his head, moving closer to you, “I barely do the shit now, but if I feel like taking a little line to ease the pressure I have all the right to do so, okay?”

He’s standing in front of you, angry breaths leaving him. You look at him, about to defend yourself and faltering when you see his bloodshot eyes. Your voice comes out low as you give him a bewildered look.

“Are you high right now?”

“Yeah,” Rafe laughs, stepping away as he rants. “Barry is Barry. Whatever extra cash you threw at him was useless because all I had to do was wave a couple of hundreds and he broke your little deal.”

“Why are you so riled up right now?” You snap, getting sick of his attitude. He shows up here randomly just to bitch at you for looking out for him? He has no problem asking for your help when he wants it, but God forbid you try to help with something he actually needs.

“Because I don’t need you trying to go behind my back to control me!” He runs his hand through his hair, glaring at you and pointing at himself. “I’m a grown man, I handle my own shit. I’m sick of everyone thinking I can’t handle my own shit.”

“Rafe, I don’t think that-” You step closer to the blonde, grabbing his arm. He waves you off roughly, making you fall back into the wall at the unexpected force. You stand there for a moment in shock, Rafe never doing anything that involves putting his hands on you like that.

He instantly looks regretful, stepping towards your figure on the wall and placing his hands on your waist.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean..” He stutters, hands moving to you cradle your face as he whispers. “I didn’t mean to push you like that.”

He moves your head up to look at him, wearing a guilty expression. Your eyes lock with his blown out ones, Rafe moving your hair from your face as steps closer to you. Your breath hitches in your throat, losing all ability to breathe as Rafe leans closer, lips brushing over yours.

“Rafe. What are you doing?” You mutter against his lips. Rafe's eyes darken as he looks down at you, not making any movements to step back.

“Do you want me to stop?” He rasps, and when you don't respond he presses his lips to yours. The kiss is soft at first, growing deeper as Rafe tightens his hold on your face. He tilts your head to deepen the kiss, taking your bottom lip in between his teeth and tugging on it.

He pulls off, kissing you softly once more. “I’m about to get in the shower. You’re welcome to join.”

He steps back, eyes trailing you before he walks off down the hallway. He goes up the stairs while you stand frozen in shock by not only what just happened, but what he's offering to continue happening. Rafe's flirted before while he's under the influence, but he's never full on kissed you the way he just did.

You still feel the ghost of him on your lips, craving the feel of him pressed against you now that you've had a taste. He kissed you like he was trying to inhale you, and the intensity of the short kiss made you lightheaded. You were lightheaded about Rafe showing you that even a part of him might possibly feel the same.

At the same time, he did admit to doing coke not even ten minutes ago.

No. Just ignore it. Go back to baking your cake.

You go back to the kitchen, pushing the mixer back into the bowl. You pause, going back and forth between what to do. You can still smell the cologne he was wearing. As stupid as it sounds, Kelce's words are all that rings through your head as you look at the set temperature on the oven.

"Kiss him. See what happens."

Turning off the oven, you walk down the hallway to the stairs. Your heart beats as you hear the shower running from your room, climbing the stairs and opening the bedroom door. The shower is louder now, and you open the bathroom door to see Rafe behind the glass door.

If you do this, you would see Rafe naked. Rafe would see you naked. The thought excited you as much as it scared you, wanting to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn't some fucked up dream. Part of you fears that if you make this bold move, he'd laugh in your face and turn you away.

Fighting off your nerves, you slip off your sleeping shorts and the red sweater Rafe let you borrow last winter. Taking off your underwear, you step to the shower door and open it. Rafe is standing with his back to you, hands massaging the rag over his body.

You step into the shower, closing it behind you and standing behind Rafe. The drops of water litter his strong back, and your eyes trail down until they settle on his ass. Your head tilts in approval, stepping closer to the blonde and reaching a hand out.

You place a hand on his waist, leaning up to place a kiss on his shoulder blade. You're not breathing as Rafe pauses his movements, turning to face you. Your eyes settle on his soapy chest, moving up to meet his heated gaze.

You attempt to look confident, and you think it works based on the lustful look that takes over Rafe. His eyes scan your body, throwing the rag carelessly as he grips your throat in his hand, lips crashing against yours as he walks you until your back meets the shower wall.

He pushes his tongue into your mouth, humming when you let out a soft moan. He continues to kiss you passionately, and your grip tightens on his waist as you attempt to ground yourself as you think to yourself this is actually happening.

He pushes off, your head leaning back against the wall as he stands straight. He brings his other hand up, pulling at your lip with his thumb. You circle your mouth around the digit, Rafe pushing it in as you rub on it with your tongue.

Rafe lets out a low groan, squeezing your throat higher. “What do you want?”

He pulls his thumb out, and you place a couple more kisses on the pad of the digit before pushing him back slightly to make room for you to get on your knees. He lets out a curse as he grabs your hair to hold it up, and you gasp when you come face to cock.

It’s standing proud and hard in front of you, even bigger than you imagined. You knew he’d be big; you can’t be that cocky with a small dick. But you didn’t expect it to be so.. pretty— your mouth salivating as you place a teasing kiss on the head.

Your tongue runs out to gather the precum leaking from his cock, Rafe’s hold in your hair tightening as his legs twitch. He takes a hold of his cock on his other hand, and you display your tongue for him to slap the member against. Rafe slaps your cheek lightly with his cock, running the tip back over your lips, “Suck my cock, baby girl.”

You place hands on either of his thighs, taking him into your mouth and instantly pushing down to the base of his cock.

“What the fuck?” Rafe mutters in disbelief as you deepthroat his cock, groaning when you gag on it but keep him there. You pull off, spitting on his cock before pushing him deep in your mouth again. Rafe growls, “Let me see your eyes.”

You look up at him, Rafe pulling his lip into his mouth at the doe eyed expression on your face. He runs his other hand in your hair, cradling the back of your head as he begins fucking your face. Your head meets the shower wall, the barrier of his hands softening the constant bump into the wall as Rafe pumps himself hard into your mouth.

He groans, pushing himself down your throat and holding it there. You gag around him at the intrusion, pushing at his thigh. He slaps your hand away, “You’ll breathe when I tell you to breathe. Relax your throat.”

You do as he says, the blonde moaning when he’s able to push himself a little deeper. He pulls his cock out of your mouth, “Breathe.”

You let out a couple of breaths, holding his gaze as he gives you a questioning look to ask if this is okay. You give him a nod, Rafe muttering something to himself before leaning your head back again so he can slide his cock back in your mouth.

He pushes all the way in, pulling out only to push himself back until he’s hitting the back of your throat. He repeats this motion for a few moments, pushing himself back all the way down your throat and holding your head down. You relax your throat, Rafe letting out a loud moan as he pulls you off, “Breathe.”

You’ve only let out a couple of breaths when Rafe pulls you up by your arms. He grabs your thighs, lifting you up to wrap your legs around him as he buries his face into your neck, placing wet kisses on your throat. He’s sucking on the flesh, and your hands move to the back of his hair and tug on it.

He grunts against your throat, moving so he is face to face with you. He kisses you, “You good?”

You nod again, and Rafe shakes his head at you, “I need you to talk.”

You swallow, leveling out your breathing, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good,” He says, pressing his lips back to yours. You feel the head of his cock against your wet folds, Rafe pressing deeper into you. “Fuck, you’re so wet. You want me to fuck you?”

You whimper against his lips, “Please.”

“Such a good girl,” He coos, kissing your neck again as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing his cock fully inside you  in one thrust. You gasp, your head throwing back and hitting the shower wall roughly. Rafe places his hand behind your head again, “You’re good. Just take it.”

Once he’s inside of you, he lets you adjust for a few moments before asking if he can move. You agree, hands gripping his hair tighter once he starts to fuck his cock inside of you. You can’t control the moans leaving you, Rafe groaning against your neck as he speeds up his thrusts.

He pounds into you, making you cry out. Rafe kisses you again, bringing your tongue into his mouth and massaging it. He mumbles incoherent praises against your lips, pecking a few times as he slows his thrusts.

He moves his hand to your center, massaging figure eights into your clit as he gives deep, hard thrusts. You whine against his mouth, and he pulls back to look at you. Your legs tighten around him at the fucked out expression on his face, the blonde muttering, “I can feel you clenching on my cock. You want to come.. ask for it.”

“Please let me come,” You beg. “Fuck, you feel so good. Can I come?”

“Go ahead, baby,” He responds, groaning against you as you start to squirt around his cock. He looks down at where you two meet, rubbing your clit faster to ride out your high. You’re shaking against him, Rafe taking your breast into his mouth as he sucks on the flesh.

As your climax subsides, you feel Rafe release inside of you. He moans against your chest, rubbing your clot faster to overstimulate you as he pumps his seed inside of you. He pulls out, the evidence of his release dripping down your thighs as he sets you down. He scoops up a little bit on his pointer finger, bringing it up to your lips.

You suck his release off of his fingers, Rafe’s mouth opening slightly before he pulls away quickly, turning around and turning the water off. Opening the glass door, he pushes you in front of him to lead you out of the bathroom.

His hands are on your waist, the blonde bending down to place hot kisses on your neck as you move to the room. He pushes you face down on the bed, slapping your ass and telling you to move up. You place your knees on the bed, getting in a doggystyle position as Rafe leans behind.

Rafe separates your lips, tongue coming out to lap at your wet pussy. He sucks on you, making a squelching sound echo in the room. You moan as your head drops down to the bed, Rafe pulling away and slapping your pussy roughly.

“So fucking sweet,” He compliments, hands moving to your ass so he can grip the flesh. He licks your clit, making your legs shake around his head. Moving his tongue up your folds to your entrance, he dips his tongue in before pulling out and moving up to your other puckered hole.

He massages the muscle with his tongue, and you gasp at the new feeling. It felt a little weird, but good; the action itself proved to be extremely erotic. He kisses the swell of your ass, “All of you.”

He stands up behind you, spanking your ass, “Push back on it.”

You get comfortable, reaching behind you and grabbing his length, stroking it as you lead him to your entrance. You push back, your pussy swallowing his cock as your head throws back in ecstasy. Rafe takes hold of your hair again, holding your head back as he starts to fuck you hard.

He leans over, looking down at you while forcing your eyes to meet his. “This what you wanted?”

“Yes!” You call out, eyes rolling as he fucks himself deeper into you.

“Yeah? Like my cock deep inside of you?” He leans down, kissing your lips when you nod and agree with his words. “Good girl. Just my responsive little slut, huh?”

“Fuck, Rafe,” You whimper, pushing back onto him as you let go, pussy spasming around his cock as you let out a drawn out moan.

“Damn,” Rafe's eyes roll, breath picking up as he pulls out of you. He leans down to eat your pussy again, gathering your release on his tongue before standing back up. “Get up there and lay down.”

You follow his directions, laying your head on the pillow and spreading your legs. Rafe climbs on the bed after you, eyes scanning every inch of you as he strokes his cock.

“Don’t even know where to start with you,” He gets in between your legs, slapping them open more as he runs his cock around your folds, teasing you. “I just want to fuck you in every position. I’m so hard.”

“My God,” You call out as Rafe slides his cock inside, stopping halfway and pulling out before pushing back in. “Your cock is so good.”

“I know baby, but you can take it. Doing such a good job,” He pushes himself to the hilt, grabbing the insides of your thighs so he can press them to the bed as he starts to fuck you. He leans down to kiss you, brushing his lips against yours after. “So wet and open for my cock. Little pussy’s just begging to be fucked.”

“Daddy,” You whimper against his lips, Rafe's thrusts growing sloppy for a moment before he pulls out, slapping his cock against your clit.

“What did you just call me?” His voice is gruff as he asks you, hand gripping your thighs like he needed to in order to control himself. He slaps your face lightly when you don't answer.

You look up at him with an embarrassed smile, “Do you not like that?”

Rafe chuckles darkly, spreading your lips again so he can slide his cock back inside of you. Your mouth falls open.

“You’re hilarious,” He responds, trapping you between his hands as he hovers over you, pushing all the way in. “Say it again.”

He starts to fuck you harder than he was before, a more animalistic feel to his thrusts. You wrap your arms around his frame, nails digging into his back as you kiss his shoulder, “Daddy, please fuck me h-harder. You’re so fucking big- please give me all of it.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Rafe groans. “You feel fucking amazing.”

“Yeah?” You ask rhetorically, Rafe nodding as he kissed your forehead.

“Mhm,” He brings his face to yours, nudging you with his nose. “So wet. So — shit — warm. Best pussy I’ve ever had.”

“I- I can’t-” You start to buck your hips up, the praise running straight to your core as you start to clench around him.

“It’s okay. I’m so proud of you,” Rafe kisses you, tone gentle as he calms you. “You did such a good job. Come on daddy’s cock like a good little girl.”

Your head throws back as you start to come on his cock, Rafe groaning into your neck now. “That’s it."

“Fuck I’m gonna come,” He says after a few minutes of continuing his thrusts, moving his hand to your throat as he chokes you. He squeezes down, making you look at him as he holds your gaze. “Want you to come with me, okay?”

You nod, moaning against the top of his head as he leans down to kiss your chest, thrusts growing merciless as he starts to pump his come inside of you.

“Good girl.”

He whispers, kissing up your chest to your neck. He pulls off of you, falling down to the side of the bed. You wait a few moments to start breathing again, going to the bathroom. When you walk back, Rafe's now under the covers.

He looks over at you when you climb in the bed, unsure of whether or not you should touch him. Weird concern considering what just happened, but this is uncharted territory between you two. You didn't want to assume he was the type of person to cuddle.

You lay down on your side, Rafe scoffing as he grabs you to pull you across the bed. He throws your leg over him, slapping the flesh before bringing his hand up to your jaw, moving your head up to meet him in a slow kiss. Afterwards, he lays his head back on the pillow as you rest against his chest, falling asleep while praying you get this same Rafe in the morning.

•••

The sun shines through the open curtain of your bedroom, and you squint your eyes as you lean up on your elbows. You look at the other side of the bed, seeing the covers empty and carelessly thrown on the bed. You ignore the sinking feeling in your chest, walking to your bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, you gasp at the sight of bruises littering your neck and chest, the imprint Rafe left making your cheeks warm. Your fingers trace where he sucked on your flesh, flashes of him smoothing his kisses with his tongue playing in your mind.

You would think last night was a dream if you weren’t wearing the evidence. Smiling softly, you think about how things could be different between you and Rafe now. Last night can’t be written off as just sex. The first couple of rounds were intense and rough, but when he woke you up in the middle of the night with his head between your thighs, the sex after was.. sweet.

His kisses were sweet on your lips as he gave slow, deliberate thrusts. He didn’t choke you, instead he cupped your face softly as he kept your eyes locked with his. No crazy positions, just him pressed against you as he moved, running his hands over you like he was trying to memorize every curve.

When you cried from the overstimulation, Rafe fucking countless orgasms out of you during that round, he kissed you tears away as he comforted you. You'd seen a side of Rafe that you've only gotten glimpses of over the years, and it made you fall more.

You throw on a hoodie over your naked body, realizing it's another one of Rafe's when it envelops your entire body. You walk out of your room, down the stairs and your eyebrows furrow when you notice Rafe's nowhere in the kitchen, either. You check around for a note, coming up empty and sighing.

You calm your thoughts as you start to make coffee, telling yourself he probably just had to run some errands for his dad. Looking at the time, you sighed in relief when you noticed it was noon. Of course Rafe would have somewhere to be by now.

As your coffee heats up, you run back up the stairs to grab your phone. Not seeing any messages from him, you send him a quick text and decide to put it out of your mind so you don't stress about a reply.

Y/N: Good morning... well afternoon lol.

Y/N: Last night was great

When thirty minutes pass, you tell yourself not to stress. When an hour passes, you tell yourself he's busy. When it's damn near six o'clock in the evening, you can't help the bad feeling bubbling in your chest. You pull your message thread with the blonde, breath hitching.

Read at 2:14 pm

Even then, you'd played it off. Rafe was known to pick his phone up and think he responds when he really doesn't. He must've got caught up with something when he was about to respond-

Another voice pops up in your head, telling you to stop making excuses. This is Rafe. If he wanted to respond, he would have. You feel a lump build in your throat at the thought that maybe last night really didn't mean anything to him. But at the very least, he knew it meant something to you.

Shouldn't he at least have the decency to text you back?

Maybe you freaked him out. Your feelings for him aren't new, but maybe last night was too fast for him and he doesn't know how to respond now. A stray tear falls down to your cheek, and you wipe it away quickly as you go to the freezer, pulling out a small tub of ice cream and settling on the couch.

You start a random movie, only halfway paying attention as your mind is plagued with thoughts of Rafe. The floating feeling you had this morning when you woke up was starting to fade the longer he didn't text you, and at one point you give up, forcing yourself to focus on the movie as you try to put Rafe in the back of your mind.

Your phone buzzes next to you, and you jolt awake.

You grab your phone, wincing at the brightness as you turn it down before checking the time. 10:08 pm.

You go to your messages, seeing that it was Rafe who texted you. You open the thread, rolling your eyes and scoffing as you read the message.

Rafe: Com pick me up? At tge country clubbbb

Seriously? He doesn't text you back for hours and when he does it's because he's drunk off of his ass at the Country Club? Anger surges through you as you stand up, throwing on some random uggs and grabbing your keys.

You walk out to the car, mumbling to yourself how you're going to curse Rafe out the second you see him. You don't even want to talk about the sex last night and what it means, focused on the disrespect you feel just as a friend.

He doesn't get to sleep with you and then ignore you. It was a dick move and you don't deserve that as his best friend -- or just as a fucking human being.

You pull up to the country club, texting Rafe to let him know you're here. He reads your message instantly, making you scoff at the irony. You began scrolling through social media while you waited, telling yourself that after ten minutes you're leaving.

A few minutes pass, your attention being grabbed by the backdoor opening. Your eyebrows knit in confusion. Were Kelce and Topper with him?

You look back, phone almost dropping out of your hand when you see Rafe helping a random girl inside the backseat of your car. He slides in after her, glancing at you long enough to see his red eyes as he shoots you a drunken smile.

"Just take us to my place," He tells you. "Amb- Hannah, this is Y/N. Y/N, Hannah."

"Hey," The girl exclaims, and you shoot her a quick smile through the rearview mirror.

"Hey," Your voice comes out small, the lump in your throat growing larger as what Rafe is doing sets in. You're on autopilot, that's the only excuse you can make for not throwing them both out of the car. You're in the car physically, but your mind drifts far away as you drive to where Rafe lives.

You're holding back tears the entire drive. Your heart feels like someone reached into your chest and grabbed it, toying with the muscle. Not even someone -- Rafe. Tears threaten to fall, but you force yourself to hold a blank expression as you drive them.

You have to wipe a stray tear when you hear the girl Hannah giggle in the backseat, glancing at the rearview mirror to see if they noticed. Too busy with kissing the blonde girl's neck, Rafe doesn't even seem to notice that you're in the car despite being the one fucking driving them.

You slam on the brakes when you reach the stop sign leading to the entrance of his neighborhood, Rafe having to hold the seat to stop himself from falling forward. He sends you a small glare, and you give him a petty smile, "My bad."

You've never driven through his neighborhood faster, not even bothering to pull into his driveway before you put it in park in front of his yard. Rafe opens the back door, leading Hannah out, who waves at you and thanks you for the ride.

You don't bother to respond, continuing to look forward when Rafe knocks on the passenger side window. You roll your eyes, putting the window down and keeping your face ahead, thankful that your hair is covering the side that's visible to Rafe.

"Uh, thanks.." The blonde trails off, knocking against the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

You nod your head, just wanting him as far away from you as possible. When he walks off with the girl, you turn your head to watch them walk across the yard to the front door. You watch as he leads her into the house, shutting the door behind him.

The door shutting seemed to solidify everything that happened tonight and every red flag that popped up in your head since noticing  Rafe was gone when you woke up. Unable to hold back anymore, you let out a sob as you lean your head against the steering wheel.

•••

Kelce: Are we still on for today?

You stare blankly at the text, thinking over your response before texting him back.

Y/N: Rafe's gonna be there?

You watch as the dots appear at the bottom of the screen as Kelce replies.

Kelce: Yeah

Y/N: Then no

You drop your phone, picking it up to look at his message once he responds.

Kelce: Ok what the hell happened between you two?

You flip the phone over, not having the energy to even begin to explain. A part of you appreciated Rafe for seeming to not say anything to your friends about what happened, the other part telling yourself it was probably because he was embarrassed. You know you were; amongst other things.

Hurt and pissed are the two main emotions you've felt over the last few days since dropping Rafe and his flavor of the night off at his house. You blocked him the same night, not wanting to deal with the inevitable texts from him the next day when he follows up on your plans to hang out.

You'd made up some lame excuse to Topper and Kelce when they both texted you asking where you were when you didn't show up to Kelce's house. After that, you just decided to hole up in your room to lick your wounds in peace.

It took Rafe literally using you for sex only to toss you aside for you to come to terms with the facts about your friendship. You were always there for him; there as an ear for him to vent to, there to bail him out of trouble. All he's ever had to do was shoot a smile at you for you to do whatever he needs. You felt pathetic.

Because Rafe is always going to be the same. You give him a piece, and he asks for the entire slice. You show him that you're willing to do anything for him, and he uses your apparent feelings to have you bend towards his every whim. You've always known Rafe was ruthless; maybe it was your mistake for thinking you were special in some way.

You decide to sulk in your feelings for another day since you have no other plans, walking over to the cellarette in the kitchen. Grabbing a random bottle of tequila, you unscrew the cap and throw it on the floor, walking back to the couch while taking a huge swig of the drink. 

You continue to drink as you decide to binge watch horror movies, not in the mood to see any love stories unless one of them gets murdered during it. 

You’re on your third movie when you hear a knock at the door. Thinking it was the pizza you ordered, you grab your wallet from the coffee table and make your way to the front door, only tripping on your steps once. 

You smile at the sight of pizza when you open the door, the smile quickly disappearing when you notice who’s holding the pizza. 

“Caught the pizza guy when he was walking up. Already paid for,” The blonde sends you a tight smile, and you give him a puzzled look. Rolling your eyes, you take the pizza from him and move to close the door. Rafe’s foot comes out to catch it before you can, giving you a confused glare. 

‘What’s going on with you?” He asks, and it takes everything in you not to throw this box of pizza at him. He waves his hand around as he continues. “You’re not responding to my messages. Kelce and Topper keep whining about you not showing up to shit.” 

“I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that,” You reply in a sarcastic tone, your words coming out slightly slurred. Of course he didn’t even pick up on the fact that he’s blocked. He probably didn’t even care that you weren’t showing up, only coming to your door because he was sick of hearing Topper and Kelce’s complaining. 

“Y/N.” 

You look away at his stern tone, shaking your head, “Just leave, Rafe.” 

He pushes the door open more, “Not until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you.” 

Sobering up and growing completely pissed at his nerve, you laugh darkly as you narrow your eyes at him. 

“What’s wrong with me?” You ask incredulously, walking into the house to place the pizza off on the couch before turning around. Rafe followed you when you did, and when you turned around you pointed at him while walking towards him. “No, I didn’t say you can come inside.” 

“You wanna know what’s wrong with me?” Your icy tone causes Rafe to step back, and you follow him until he’s  back at the threshold of the front door. “We had sex, Rafe. And you treated it like it was nothing to you even though you.. you knew it meant something to me.” 

Your voice cracks, and you curse at yourself for showing the slight emotion but you decide you’ve gone past the point of return. 

“Y/N..” Rafe trails off, reaching out for you only for you to slap his hand away. 

“Don’t. That’s not even the worst part,” You continue as tears build up in your eyes, the tears falling as the hurt radiates from you as you yell at Rafe. “You ignored me. And then used me as a designated driver for you and your one night stand the next fucking day!” 

“Do you have any idea how that made me feel?” Looking away once you feel your bottom lip tremble, you wipe the tears from your face with a dry laugh. “Do you even care?” 

“Yes!” Rafe exclaims, softening his tone as he looks at you with pleading eyes.  “I care, you know I do. I was just… freaked out by what happened and I didn’t know how to approach you-” 

“So you did that?” You cut him off, him offering no excuse for how he treated you. You pause, gathering your thoughts before taking a breath. “If you didn’t want anything to come from it, you could’ve just talked to me. But you decided to be cruel and remind me that I’ll never be your first option.” 

More tears fall as you finally say the words you’ve been thinking these last few days. And it was true; Rafe was always your first choice but you were never his. The thought alone made you want to curl up into yourself, but you ignore it for right now as you continue to have a standoff with Rafe. He’s backed onto the porch at this point, you making your way onto it as well. 

“That's not true,” He denied, shaking his head with a clenched jaw. 

“Isn’t it?” You throw your arms up. “God, Rafe! I’ve always been here. Waiting for you like some bitch when you made it clear over and over again that I’m just someone you keep around because you know I’m wrapped around your finger. I’m tired, Rafe. Tired of waiting for you to-” 

Waiting for him to see you. 

There’s no stopping the tears from streaming down your face at this point, everything you’ve been bottling up exploding out of you. You watch as Rafe’s face crumbles, his own eyes beginning to water. 

“I didn’t know you felt like that.. I’m sorry,” He croaked out. You scoff, and he cuts you off with a distressed tone. “I am. Y/N you’re.. you’re my best friend and if I knew that sleeping with you would-” 

“Would what? Send me mixed signals? You’ve been doing that for years, Rafe,” You say softly.

“I know you’re not familiar with the concept,” Your speak in a hushed tone, using the words Rafe spoke to you against him, “but when you spend your entire life in love with your best friend it fucking sucks when he treats you like shit.” 

He doesn’t respond after that, looking down so he doesn’t have to see your heartbroken face. Sniffling, you wipe your face with a small groan as you turn to walk back inside of the house.  

“What can I do?” 

You laugh at the question, turning around and facing him again. 

“You can start by leaving me the hell alone,” You shrug, wanting this conversation to end; wanting all of this to end. You take a couple of shaky breaths, voice cracking as you look at the blonde. “I can’t do this anymore. We shouldn’t be friends.” 

“Don’t say that,” He shakes his head, reaching out and grabbing your face in his hands as he forces you to look at him. Stray tears fall from his eyes as he holds you like he’s afraid you’d disappear if he let go. “I’m fucked up, I know. But I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Your eyes shut at his words, wanting to memorize the way he told you he loved you. It wasn’t like the other times when he would say it casually in passing, and you almost mistake it for a real confession before checking yourself. Even if it was, Rafe’s proven to not be able to love you properly, and can’t keep settling for less. 

“You love me,” You reply, taking his hands from your face and smiling sadly. “But you don’t love me the way I love you.” 

Rafe opens his mouth to respond, snapping it shut and giving you a pleading look. You nod, wiping your tears. 

“I’ll see you around,” You whisper, rushing inside of the house and shutting the door before he could respond. He punches the front door, you sliding down and hugging your knees to your chest as you hear him curse aloud. You bury your face into your arms, not stopping the sobs from leaving you as you wait to hear his truck start up to signal that he left. 

When you finally do, you rub the tears out of your eyes as you stumble to stand up, walking back over the couch and sitting down. You glance at the pizza, losing all appetite as you instead reach down to where you placed the abandoned tequila bottle. You lift it up, taking a big gulp as you tell yourself this is for the best. 

Rafe’s never going to be able to love you the way you need, and you can’t keep being there for someone who only takes what you give and offers nothing in return.

•••

part two

[fallsndreamsalone]

[reidiot]

don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude

[bellaed1t]

- mysterious man -

pt. 1 pt. 2

rapper!rafe & singer!reader meet at the grammys

warnings: none that i can think of!

authors note: first time writing btw! sorry if you don't like it

word count: 552

You stood backstage at one of the most pivotal moments of your career—the Grammys. Tonight, you were set to perform the songs from your highly anticipated new album, “Behind My Back.” The album, raw and deeply personal, poured out the pain and betrayal of your past relationship—one where love was shattered by infidelity. This performance was your moment to not just share your music, but to reclaim your story.

On your way to the dressing room, you collided with someone, the impact jarring you slightly.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, looking up.

He was tall, with an athletic frame and piercing blue eyes that held an intensity hard to ignore. His sharp jawline accentuated his striking features, and his buzzed hair gave him a clean, effortless look. Handsome, without a doubt.

“It’s fine,” he replied curtly, his tone clipped as if he were in a hurry.

Before you could say more, he was already moving past you. You shrugged it off, shaking the moment from your thoughts as you stepped into your dressing room.

With your outfit perfectly in place and a final glance in the mirror, you were ready. The crowd awaited, and tonight’s setlist included “Because I Liked a Boy” and “Brutal”—songs that held all the power of your truth.

You walked onto the stage, the lights blinding at first before settling into a dazzling glow that bathed the crowd in electric energy. The roar of your fans filled the arena, their voices echoing your lyrics with raw emotion. The beat dropped, and the rhythm pulsed through the floor beneath your feet.

As you sang your heart out, you saw them—faces illuminated by passion, bodies moving to the music, and arms raised in unison. The air was alive with the sound of your truth.

And then, there was him.

Amid the swaying crowd and the sea of dancing silhouettes, his eyes locked onto yours. For a fleeting moment, time seemed to slow. The intensity of his gaze lingered—sharp, unwavering, and impossible to ignore.

But the music was louder, and the spotlight was yours. You poured every ounce of pain, power, and triumph into your performance, leaving everything on the stage.

After the ceremony, you clutched not one, but two Grammys—your very first wins. The weight of the golden trophies in your hands was nothing compared to the joy that lit up your face. Cameras flashed, your smile wide and unstoppable as you soaked in the moment you had dreamed of for so long.

As the crowd thinned, a familiar figure emerged from the shadows.

“Hey,” he said, a playful glint in his piercing blue eyes. “Are you going to the after-party?”

There was a subtle confidence in his voice, the kind that hinted he already knew your answer—but he asked anyway.

You blinked, caught off guard for a beat, before a grin tugged at your lips. “Umm, sure!”

He smirked, a slow, knowing expression that made your heart skip.

“Good. I’ll see you there.” With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you rooted in place.

Your cheeks felt warmer than before. Did he just make you blush?

A part of you couldn’t wait to see him again. Another part of you burned with curiosity, wanting—needing—to know more about the mysterious man who had so effortlessly stolen your attention.

navigation | masterlist | taglist

[starkeymuse]

decode | rafe cameron | part three

summary: grace knew the outer banks were full of dangerous currents, but she never expected rafe cameron to be one of them.

warnings: violence, slight mentions of abuse, mentions of blood.

note: the friendly neighborhood kook is here :)

✧ listen to: seventeen going under by sam fender + affection by between friends ✧

the summer heat still clung to the air even as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting an orange glow over the outdoor movie screen. the weekly movie night was a staple in obx during the summer, drawing crowds from all over the island. the grass was packed with kids sprawled on blankets, cheap folding chairs, and the occasional truck bed. laughter and the hum of idle conversation filled the air, blending with the speakers that announced the movie was about to start.

we decided to come tonight because sarah and john b were having dinner at sarah's house with her dad, ward. hopefully, they’d be able to get the maps without anyone noticing. this was also known as, the first step to getting the gold. kie and sarah hadn’t exactly mended their rift, but they agreed to be civil for now.

i stood in line at the concession stand, tapping my foot against the uneven gravel. kie had asked for a bag of popcorn, and jj and pope wanted sodas. i was debating whether or not to grab myself an ice cream when i felt someone step up behind me. my skin prickled. i didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“hey grace, what’s up?” rafe’s voice carried over, laced with a grin i could practically hear. pulling at my focus while setting me on edge. it wasn’t fair, the way it could make me feel, like the ground wasn’t steady beneath me.

“ugh- you again?” i asked, crossing my arms and turning to face him. heat was rushing to my face. i hated how he could do that.

“topper and kelce know what pope and jj did,” he said, his tone quiet but heavy.

my frown deepened. “what are you talking about?”

rafe’s jaw tightened, his gaze flickering over the crowd before locking back on me. “the boat,” he said. “they know.”

his words hit like a splash of cold water, leaving me blinking as i tried to process. the boat? what boat? a knot of dread began forming in my stomach, and for a split second, i thought about pushing him for more details.

"i seriously don't know what you're talking about” i admitted, my voice quieter now. i searched his face for answers, but he didn’t give me any. instead, he just shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line, and walked away. his broad shoulders, tensed and rigid, disappeared into the crowd. it was infuriating, the way he could drop something like that and disappear.

my hands felt clammy as i grabbed the drinks and popcorn, the flimsy cups trembling in my grip. i hurried back to our blanket, nearly spilling jj’s coke on a toddler who darted in front of me. when i finally dropped onto the grass beside kie, she gave me a weird look.

what the fuck did you do?” i demanded, my voice harsher than i intended. i turned to jj and pope, who both froze mid-sip of their drinks.

“uh, what?” jj asked, feigning innocence as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“rafe just told me that topper and kelce know what you did,” i said, narrowing my eyes. “the boat? what the hell did you do?”

pope winced, and jj let out a nervous laugh.

“okay, so maybe we… kinda sunk topper's boat,” jj admitted, shrugging as if it were no big deal.

“you what?” kie hissed, her head snapping toward him.

“it was pope’s idea,” jj said, throwing up his hands. “they’ve been terrorizing us for years. it was payback!”

“hey, don’t pin it all on me,” pope shot back, glaring at jj. “you were the one who said, and i quote, ‘let’s see if topper can swim!’”

kie groaned, burying her face in her hands. “you two are actual idiots.”

“idiots with a cause,” jj said, smirking as he reached for his soda. “you’re welcome.”

“yeah, thanks for painting a giant target on our backs,” i muttered, rubbing my temples. my pulse was already racing, and i had a sinking feeling this night was about to get a lot worse.

“oh, come on,” jj said, leaning back on his elbows. “what’s the worst that could happen? topper tries to fight us again?"

"yes that's exactly what could happen." i corrected him. i understood why they did it, but they got caught so easily, and what annoyed me the most was that they didn't tell us.

about fifteen minutes later, jj and pope stood up, muttering something about needing to "wring it out". they disappeared behind the massive movie screen, leaving kie and me to exchange annoyed glances. i couldn’t shake the tension building in my chest. something felt off.

voices. raised, sharp, and cutting through the noise of the movie and the chatter around us.

kie’s head snapped toward the screen. “do you hear that?"

i didn’t answer. i was already on my feet, my heart pounding as we ran toward the sound. we rounded the screen just in time to see kelce and jj going at each other, fists flying. topper was on the ground, choking pope, his hands wrapped around his throat.

get off him!” kie screamed, rushing toward them.

kie was already trying to pull kelce off jj, but he shoved her away. i threw myself at topper, clawing at his arms to get him off pope, with a snarl, he shoved me back so hard i hit the ground, pain exploding in my head as it smacked against the ground.

for a split second, my vision blurred, and i was back in a moment, my father’s rough hands pushing me to the ground, anger simmering behind his eyes. the memory hit me like a tidal wave, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

i barely had time to process what was happening when rafe appeared out of nowhere, grabbing topper by the collar and yanking him off pope. he didn’t hesitate, landing a punch square on topper’s jaw.

rafe’s voice cut through again, his words a furious growl, “what the fuck did I tell you, topper?” but even as he yelled, i could barely process it, my head spinning and my body aching from the fall. the anger in his voice seemed distant, too far away to grasp. all i could do was try to steady myself, feeling the world tilt and spin around me.

as i pushed myself up, my hands shaking. the chaos around me felt muted, distant, like i was underwater. my head throbbed, and when i reached up to touch my forehead, my fingers came away sticky with blood.

my body was on autopilot, moving without thought as I tried to make sense of what was happening. the fight was spiraling out of control. jj and kelce were still at it, and rafe was right there, caught in the madness. but all I could think about was stopping it, somehow.

then I saw it—kiara’s bag on the ground, tossed carelessly as the fight raged on. without thinking, i ran to it, my hands trembling as i fumbled to grab the lighter from inside. the small object felt strangely heavy in my palm, the idea hit me. my pulse was loud in my ears as i flicked the lighter to life, the flame shooting up in the dark.

with shaky hands, i held it close to the edge of the movie screen and watched as the flames crept along the fabric. they caught quickly, and within moments, the screen was alight, the orange glow lighting up the area around us.

“jesus!” someone yelled. “what the hell?!”

the fighting stopped immediately, everyone frozen in place, staring at the flames that had started to eat through the movie screen. the crackle of the fire filled the air, and the smell of burning fabric made me cough. my eyes darted between my friends, each of them looking stunned, some still catching their breath from the fight.

i felt a mix of panic and relief, my hands still shaking as I watched the fire burn. it was done. the fight was over. i glanced over my shoulder, I saw topper and kelce scrambling away.

“hey!” jj’s voice echoed “grace, let's go!”

i turned around just in time to see him, pope, and kie running toward her car. but i wasn't done, just yet. i was already moving toward rafe.

"what the fuck was that?” i said, my voice full of anger.

“i didn’t know they were gonna do that,” rafe shot back, his frustration matching mine. “i told you—topper knew about the boat, but i had no idea he was gonna come after you guys again.”

i stared at him, disbelief lacing my words. “that’s why you told me they knew? because they were going to come after us again?”

he looked away, running a hand through his hair, before locking eyes with me again. “i thought i could stop it. i thought it wouldn’t go this far.”

“well, you were wrong,” i snapped, trying to keep my voice steady. “seems like you’re always trying, it's like your favorite word lately.”

rafe’s face hardened for a moment, but his gaze shifted to my hand, smeared with blood. the anger drained from him in an instant, replaced by something softer. something like concern. “you’re bleeding.”

i quickly wiped at my face, trying to ignore it, but it was obvious.

“jesus,” rafe muttered under his breath, taking a small step closer. “you’re hurt. let me see.”

i tried to back away, but he followed, his eyes too focused, too intense. i couldn’t keep avoiding him—not now.

“grace,” rafe said softly, his voice lower, almost like he was afraid of scaring me. i didn’t give him a chance to say more before his hand was at the back of my head, gently tilting it as he examined the cut on my forehead.

his touch was so careful, so unexpectedly tender. it threw me off. i froze, not knowing what to do, what to feel. everything was already too much, and this wasn’t helping.

“that's pretty bad,” rafe murmured, his voice almost a whisper. i wanted to tell him i was fine, but the words felt like they were stuck in my throat.

“i’m fine,” i muttered quickly, stepping back, but my hands were shaking too much. damn it, i hated this. my heart raced, but for an entirely different reason now. i didn’t know what he was doing to me.

“don’t give me that bullshit,” rafe said, a little more firmly. “let me help.”

i shook my head, stepping back again, trying to get space between us. my breath was shallow, still feeling the rush of the fight. but his eyes never left mine. they were too intense, too much.

“i need to go,” i said, the words cracking in my throat.

without waiting for a response, i walked off, refusing to look back this time.

we stumbled into the château, the screen door slamming behind us. john b and sarah were sitting on the couch, laughing about something, but their faces froze when they looked up and saw us.

“what the hell happened?” john b shot to his feet, his eyes scanning the bruises and blood on all of us.

“topper and kelce happened,” kie said, dropping her bag onto the table with a thud.

“again?” sarah asked, her arms crossing tightly.

jj leaned against the wall, a cocky grin tugging at his busted lip. “Yeah, but this time, we really gave them something to cry about.”

“jj…” john b’s voice had that warning tone, and jj just shrugged.

“we sunk topper’s boat,” he said nonchalantly like he was reporting the weather.

“you what?” sarah’s voice shot up an octave, and john b looked like he might combust on the spot.

“you’re welcome!” jj said, throwing his arms out. “no need to thank us all at once.”

john b groaned, rubbing his temples. “are you kidding me? why the hell would you do that?”

“because they wouldn’t leave us alone!” pope cut in, his voice defensive. “we’ve tried everything else. this was the only way to get revenge.”

“oh, yeah, genius plan,” sarah shot back. “because obviously, sinking their boat totally de-escalated the situation.”

“obviously not,” jj said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “which is why they jumped us. you're catching on, sarah. gold star.”

“jj.” i muttered, shooting him a look.

“what?” he asked, feigning innocence. “i’m just saying, if anyone’s getting a ‘most dramatic reaction to a sunken boat’ award, it’s definitely topper. his family are millionaires, there will probably be a new one in the water by tomorrow.”

“not helping,” kie snapped.

john b threw his hands up. “you didn’t think maybe we should talk about it first?”

“talk about what?” jj retorted. “oh, hey, guys, let’s have a civilized chat about how topper’s been terrorizing us for weeks. maybe we’ll bake him a cake while we’re at it.”

“jesus christ, jj.” john b muttered, shaking his head.

“look,” pope cut in, trying to bring some sense to the conversation. “we didn’t expect this to happen, okay? and you know what else? i definitely didn’t expect rafe to show up and save my ass.”

“what?” sarah asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

“rafe,” pope repeated. “he pulled topper off me. took him down, too.”

john b’s jaw tightened. “rafe helped you?”

“for once, yeah,” kie said, crossing her arms. “if he hadn’t shown up, it would’ve been a lot worse.”

sarah looked skeptical. “and you’re sure he wasn’t in on it?”

“don’t care why he was there,” jj said, flopping onto the couch with a wince. “all i know is, he threw one hell of a punch. kinda satisfying, honestly.”

“he wasn’t in on it,” i cut in. everyone turned to look at me, the room going quiet for a moment. i folded my arms, ignoring the sting in my scraped-up elbows. “rafe. he didn’t know topper and kelce were going to jump us, he was trying to stop it. he told me that.”

kie raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “and you believe him?”

i hesitated, my gaze dropping to the floor for a second. “yeah, i do,” i said finally, meeting her eyes again. “he didn’t have to show up at all, but he did. and he helped. whether we like it or not.”

“don’t give rafe all the credit,” jj said, a grin spreading across his face as he glanced at me. “grace, nice job lighting the screen on fire. honestly, one of my favorite things you've ever done.” he lifted his hand for a high five, wincing slightly as he shifted on the couch.

i stared at him for a moment before finally slapping his hand. “thanks, jj. glad my moment of sheer panic entertained you.”

“entertained? that was genius,” he said, leaning back with a smirk.

john b was still pacing, clearly trying to digest everything. "so let me get this straight—topper and kelce come after us because you guys sank their boat, rafe shows up out of nowhere to help, and then grace pulls off a fire stunt to distract them."

“yup,” jj said, his grin widening.

john b dropped his hands to his hips, shaking his head. "god, what a mess. next time, we’re talking things through before we do anything this reckless."

“next time,” sarah said, sounding a little exasperated, “maybe we keep the boat-sinking plans to a minimum, huh?”

“deal,” jj and pope replied in sync.

the room started to feel lighter as the tension faded, and i let out a breath i hadn’t realized i’d been holding. but my mind kept drifting back to rafe, how he had appeared out of nowhere, pulling topper off pope like it was nothing.

i thought i hated him, but in that moment, i couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to him than i realized. then there was that touch—his hand brushing my face, wiping the blood away. i hated how it made my heart race, but it also made me rethink everything. and now, with my friends seeing that rafe had helped us, i felt a small, unexpected relief. maybe there was more to him than the reckless, asshole guy i’d always thought he was. for the first time, i didn’t feel guilty for wondering if i’d been wrong about him. maybe he wasn’t such a bad person after all.

did you guys get the maps?” i asked, trying to shift my focus from rafe.

sarah let out a frustrated sigh, shaking her head. “no. my dad's office was locked, and i couldn’t find the key.” she glanced at john b, her tone a little apologetic. “we’ll have to go back in a day or two, when ward and rose leave for the day. but… i was thinking maybe someone other than john b should come with me this time.”

john b raised an eyebrow. “what, you don’t trust me?”

“i trust you,” sarah said quickly. “but it’s just... it might be better if it’s someone else this time. someone my dad doesn't know.”

she had a point. none of us wanted to take the risk of running into trouble again.

"i’m thinking grace should come with me,” sarah added, looking at me with a smile. “you’re not really tied to my family, so it’ll look less obvious if we get caught, and we could be in and out faster."

i nodded, realizing how solid her plan was. “i can do it,” i said, trying to sound confident even though i felt a little nervous. “we’ll be in and out.”

kie, who had been listening, spoke up. “just be careful, both of you. this whole thing is a lot more dangerous than it seems.”

“i know,” sarah replied.

i noticed it right away. there was no sarcasm in kie’s voice, no snappy remark. it wasn’t like they were suddenly best friends or anything, but for the first time in a while, there was an understanding between them. it was small, but it was there. and it made me smile.

i didn’t say anything about it, but i couldn’t ignore that moment.

work had been exhausting, my feet ached, and the smell of food clung to my clothes, a stark reminder of the hours i’d spent hustling around marcy's. the sky was already dark as i locked up and made my way to my bike, ready to head home and crash for the night.

just as i swung my leg over the seat, my phone buzzed in my pocket. i pulled it out and saw kie’s name pop up on the screen.

kie: party tonight! perkins beach.

i paused, rereading the text. after everything that had gone down yesterday with topper, rafe, and the rest of the mess, i wasn’t sure i had the energy for a party. but at the same time, maybe blowing off some steam wouldn’t be the worst idea.

me: when?

her reply came almost instantly.

kie: now. please come!!!

the ride home was quick, and after a quick shower to rinse off the day, i threw on a fresh set of clothes. the possibility of seeing rafe crossed my mind. maybe it shouldn’t have mattered, he was probably at every party on the island but after yesterday, the idea of seeing him made my chest flutter. i shook the thought away. it wasn’t like we were friends, and whatever happened yesterday didn’t mean anything. at least, that’s what i kept telling myself.

the night air was warm, but the breeze from the water kept it bearable. the beach was alive with music, laughter, and the sounds of waves crashing against the shore. it was a mixed crowd of kooks and pogues, but the division didn’t feel as stark. everyone was just here to have a good time, or at least that’s what i told myself as i downed another drink, trying to ignore the guy who wouldn’t stop talking to me.

i didn’t even know his name, but he was persistent. his words were just a blur of nonsense as he babbled on about some party in the city or something. his hands moved all over the place as he talked, and i couldn't help but zone out, my eyes scanning the crowd.

that’s when I saw him.

rafe stood at the edge of the group, leaning against a tree, half-heartedly nodding at whatever someone was saying to him. but the moment our eyes met, there was that smirk, half cocky, half amused, and i could feel heat flushing my cheeks. i quickly looked away, shaking my head at myself. the guy talking to me didn’t notice, still going on about whatever pointless story he was telling.

“yeah, i-” the guy said, but i wasn’t listening anymore. i was just thinking about that look from rafe.

i swigged the last of my drink, half expecting it to be a little stronger than it was, but it didn’t matter. the buzz was creeping in, and the warmth in my chest was making me forget about the guy talking my ear off.

“alright, i’m gonna go check on my friends,” i interrupted him, and without waiting for a response, i pushed through the crowd and made my way toward the water, hoping to find some space to breathe.

i was standing at the edge of the water, my toes sinking into the cool sand as the gentle waves lapped over them. the noise of the party felt far away now, distant laughter and music blending into the hum of the ocean. the alcohol buzzed lightly in my veins, making the stars above seem brighter, the air softer.

i heard footsteps approaching and i already knew who it was.

“oh, look,” i said, lifting my drink with a sarcastic flourish. “our friendly neighborhood kook is here."

rafe actually laughed at that, shaking his as he stopped a few feet away. “friendly? that’s a stretch. but I’ll take it.”

i rolled my eyes, turning my gaze back to the water. “shouldn’t you be off brooding in a corner somewhere or watching your friends terrorize someone?”

“nah,” he said, stepping closer. “brooding’s overrated. and as for terrorizing, i thought i’d give you a break tonight.”

“how considerate,” i shot back, glancing at him. “truly, you’re a saint.”

“don’t push it,” he replied, grinning.

we stood there in silence for a moment, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore the only thing filling the air. i could feel his eyes on me, though, and it made my skin feel too warm.

he stopped beside me, his presence annoyingly magnetic. without a word, he tilted his head, studying me. his eyes lingered on the small bandage near my hairline, and before i could stop him, his hand reached up.

“rafe,” i warned, but he ignored me, his thumb gently tracing over the the bandage.

“i'm gonna kill topper. are you okay?” he said, his voice quieter now, almost thoughtful.

i swatted his hand away, but the touch had already sent a shiver down my spine. “i’m not fragile, rafe. i’m fine.”

he let out a low chuckle, stepping back just slightly, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. “yeah? you have a hell of a way of showing it.”

i rolled my eyes. “and you have a hell of a way of just showing up wherever i go.”

“can't help it,” he shot back, the smirk returning.

“right,” i said sarcastically.

“you keep talking like that, grace, and people might think you don’t like me.”

“oh, i don’t,” i said, though my lips twitched with the faintest hint of a smile.

“you sure about that?” his tone was teasing, but the way his gaze held mine made my stomach flip.

“positive.”

the words barely left my mouth before the ground seemed to tilt under me. i swayed slightly, and rafe’s hand was on my arm in an instant.

“you’re not fine,” he said firmly, his voice laced with something between frustration and concern.

“i’m just tired,” i muttered, trying to wave him off.

“grace,” he said, his tone softening. “you’ve been drinking, and you’ve definitely got a concussion. that’s not tired. that’s stupid.”

i opened my mouth to argue, but before i could get a word out, the dizziness overtook me completely. the last thing i saw was rafe’s face shifting from exasperation to alarm before everything went dark.

the first thing i felt was the rocking, the gentle sway of water under me. my head throbbed painfully, each pulse sending a sharp wave of dizziness through my skull. i groaned, trying to blink the fog away, but everything around me was unfamiliar.

where the hell was i?

i shot up in a panic, my heart hammering in my chest. the sudden movement made my head spin, and i clutched the side of the cushion i was on, trying to steady myself. i couldn’t remember how i’d gotten here.

"easy," he said, his voice low and steady. "you’re okay."

rafe was sitting a few feet away, looking like he’d been there for a while. he stood up and came over to me, sitting at the end of the blanket must have placed over me when i was out cold.

"where am I?", i froze for a second, still trying to piece together what was happening.

"on my boat," rafe replied, his tone calm. "you passed out right in front of me. your phone was dead, and i didn’t think you’d want me to call an ambulance. so, here we are."

i took a shaky breath, the tension in my chest slowly loosening. there was something oddly reassuring about the fact that he hadn’t just left me alone or handed me off to someone else. he’d stayed. i barely knew him, but for some reason, his presence here, near me, made me feel safe.

"how long… how long have i been out?"

"a few hours," he answered, his eyes shifting to the water outside the boat, then back to me. "it’s almost sunrise."

rafe shifted in his seat, glancing over at me. "you good?"

i nodded, "yeah. just-" i hesitated for a moment, then looked at him again. "thanks for not just leaving me."

rafe’s expression softened, his gaze steady. "i wasn’t about to leave you passed out on the beach, grace."

i wasn’t sure what to say. instead, i just nodded.

"so," he continued, after a beat, "i think it’s safe to say you need to take it easy for a bit. how’re you feeling?"

"better," i replied, rubbing my forehead gently. "still kind of dizzy, but not as bad."

"good," he said, giving me a small smile. "just rest for now. i have no where to be."

i met his gaze, a quiet appreciation settling in. "i owe you one, huh?"

rafe smiled. "yeah, but i’ll collect later."

this one is very long, but i wanted to make up for not posting for like a week :) ugh i love some flirty banter,, i hope you liked part three. stay tuned for part four soon <3

[instructionsnotincluded]

Can we get a snippet of JJ interrupting them? 👀

We can have that 😉

Read Wild Winds here!

18+ MDNI | Language, shower sex, smut, sex interrupted.

Logan slipped her fingers into Rafe’s hair, forehead pressed to his as they kissed slowly. The steam from the shower filled the small room, and Logan was so thankful for the window shedding just a little light into the bathroom, making three thirty in the afternoon feel a little more romantic than it normally did. Rafe’s fingers spread along her spine and Logan arched into him, breasts pressing lightly into his chest, the hard metal of her piercing contrasting with her soft skin as he deepened the kiss, inhaling sharply through her nose when she gently nudged him with her knee. 

“Ever done it in the shower?”

Rafe nodded, lifting a hand to slide along the base of her throat as she felt the shower wall against her back, a slow moan slipping from her mouth as he squeezed gently, thumb pressing to the middle of her throat. “Could kiss you all day.”

“Please,” Logan breathed against his lips and Rafe groaned, hand flattening out along her back and running along the curve of her spine until he was able to palm the fleshy part of her ass. Water droplets stuck to their eyelashes and Logan lifted a hand to brush some of his hair away from his forehead, her lips grazing his jawline.

She drug her hands down his chest, her gaze following their path as she teased his nipples, eyes shooting to his face to see his reaction before drifting lower, feeling the fine hair below his navel that traveled south. He was hard against her hip, begging for attention and she gave it to him willingly, fingers circling his length before her thumb brushed across his tip, Rafe’s head tilting back breathlessly as she teased him. “I’m so hard, Lo…”

“I know you are,” Logan stroked him slowly, teasingly, as she pressed a light kiss to his collarbones, “you’ve been so patient today.” He nodded, swallowing thickly as she increased the speed and pressure, her own eyes flickering down to see him reddening further, his smooth head just begging for a kiss, “Have you been good, Rafe?”

Rafe’s hips jolted as she cupped his balls and he groaned, arm sliding around her to pull her closer, mouth connecting with her own as he kissed her senselessly. His other hand gently lifted her leg up, locking it along the crease of his elbow before he wrapped his other hand around hers and Logan gasped when he brushed the space between her legs, her body calling to his as he teased her, coating himself in her before he slipped inside. 

The stretch was good at this angle, her head falling back against the shower wall as Rafe eased his way inside of her, his lips attaching to her ear as she adjusted to the size and position, squeezing him tightly to let him know just how much she was enjoying it. “Let me in, baby,” Rafe begged, hips pausing, “you’re so tight.”

Logan closed her eyes, mouth opening to kiss him just as a loud noise sounded from somewhere inside the house, both of them tensing immediately. However, before they were able to respond to the noise or move, another loud sound came from the closed bathroom door. “Let me in!”

JJ sounded just a little frantic and Logan had to shake her head to try to clear it, unsure how to respond with Rafe seated so deep inside of her, filling her so well. “What…?”

“Let me in,” JJ knocked again, “I gotta take a piss. Open the door.”

“I’m literally in the shower!” Logan pressed her forehead to Rafe’s shoulder to muffle her moan as Rafe nudged that spot he loved to tease, “Wait like…twenty minutes.”

Rafe snorted into her neck and Logan drug her hand up his stomach and around his hip, squeezing his ass warningly, her mind briefly drifting to how firm it was as he smiled knowingly down at her. 

“Lo-gan!” JJ whined, “I gotta go and we’re in a hurry!”

“We?” Logan’s voice reached a higher octave as Rafe snapped his hips and she squeezed her eyes closed, a soft pant leaving her mouth as the bathroom door opened. Logan gasped, gripping Rafe’s shoulders as she whipped her head in the direction of the door, glad that they were hidden by the green opaque shower curtain, “What the fuck, JJ?!”

“I gotta piss!” The toilet seat landed loudly against the porcelain tank and the sound of JJ Maybank peeing filled the room next, Logan squeezing her eyes closed, both angry and mortified she was in this situation right now. “It’ll take like three seconds! Relax.”

Rafe’s body vibrated with silent laughter and Logan only rolled her eyes, her body begging her to move, too full with Rafe to think straight. He seemed to read her thoughts or feel the same way, Rafe slowly moving, Logan shaking her head to keep from crying out when he did. She clutched him to her, nails digging into his back to keep him from moving further as she waited for JJ to finish buttoning his shorts, the toilet flushing a moment later, sending freezing cold water through the pipes. Her boyfriend, in all his Kook experience, had clearly never had this happen before, jumping enough that Logan had to knock the shampoo bottle over to keep his startled hiss from being heard by their intruder.

[dramioneshipperz]

Anything But Your Enemy

Shameless self-promoting my ongoing Riara fanfiction. I just updated today and posted chapter four. It’s a small fandom but in case some haven’t seen it yet thought I’d share on Tumblr. 🙂

*~~~~*~~~~*

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Revenge was a double-edged sword. It's a poison that eventually dissolves into regret. Ill-gotten satisfaction was fleeting afterall.

One year after JJ’s death, Kie struggles to cope with blood-stained hands as she finds relief and acceptance with the one person she had sworn she would always despise. Rafe Cameron. A broken entitled Kook and a murderer.

Between chance encounters, Rafe finds he can’t ignore the distinct feeling of guilt driving him to protect Kiara Carrera from the Kooks and herself. He never expected to learn his attraction for her wasn't as one-sided as he thought. Even if she was part-Pogue.

Kie and Rafe find they could help each other. What better way to cut through the feeling of being numb and alone than to sleep with the enemy? Literally.

[reachedrafe]

Beneath the surface

Summary : Rafe Cameron has always been intense, but there's a darkness within him that few ever see. For a long time, he managed to keep it buried, but not anymore. You’ve always known he had a mean streak, but you never thought it would be directed at you. Now, you're about to see just how rough and physical he can really get.

Warnings : Physical and emotional abuse, Dubious consent, Manipulation and Power imbalance, Violence, Dark themes

You’ve always been drawn to the fire in Rafe Cameron's eyes, the way he carried himself with an arrogant confidence that could both repulse and attract. He was a storm you couldn’t help but walk into, even if you knew you’d end up drenched.

Tonight was no different.

The tension between you had been simmering for weeks, every conversation laced with barely concealed anger, every touch tinged with something darker. But tonight, something had snapped in him. You saw it in the way his eyes flashed when you disagreed with him, in the way his jaw clenched tight enough to crack.

You weren’t backing down though, not this time. You were tired of his domineering attitude, of the way he treated everyone like they were beneath him. You couldn’t let him think he could treat you the same way.

“Stop it, Rafe,” you said, voice low but firm. “You’re not going to scare me into doing what you want.”

He laughed, a harsh, mirthless sound that sent a chill down your spine. “You think you’re so tough, don’t you?” he sneered, stepping closer, his tall frame towering over you. “You think you can handle me?”

Your heart raced, but you stood your ground, even as he closed the distance between you. His hand shot out, gripping your chin with a force that made you wince. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with,” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear, voice dripping with menace.

You tried to pull back, but his grip tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. “Rafe, stop,” you said, but your voice wavered, betraying the fear you were trying so hard to hide.

“Why?” he taunted, his eyes dark and wild. “Afraid you might like it?”

Before you could respond, he pushed you back against the wall, the impact knocking the breath out of you. He was on you in an instant, his hands rough as they pinned your wrists above your head. His body pressed against yours, trapping you in place.

“I’m done playing nice,” he growled, his lips brushing against your neck as he spoke. “You’re mine, and it’s time you learned what that really means.”

You shivered, a mix of fear and something else washing over you. Rafe’s touch was rough, his movements aggressive, but there was an undeniable heat between you, one that you hated yourself for feeling.

“You’re hurting me,” you whispered, hoping that would make him ease up, but he only smirked, his grip on your wrists tightening.

“Good,” he said, his voice a low rumble. “Maybe that’ll make you listen.”

Rafe’s mouth was on yours before you could protest, the kiss hard and punishing. He didn’t kiss you like he loved you; he kissed you like he wanted to claim you, to mark you as his.

You tried to turn your head, to break away, but he wasn’t having it. His hand tangled in your hair, pulling your head back so he could look into your eyes. “Don’t fight me,” he warned, his voice dangerously soft. “You won’t win.”

You glared at him, refusing to give in, but your resolve was crumbling. He could see it in your eyes, and it only fueled his dark desire.

“See?” he murmured, his lips brushing against yours in a mockery of a gentle kiss. “I knew you’d come around.”

But this wasn’t coming around. This was Rafe using his strength, his power, to get what he wanted, and it terrified you how easily he could do it. How easily you could fall for it.

“Rafe,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Please.”

Something flickered in his eyes then, a brief moment of hesitation, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “You think I’ll stop because you’re scared?” he asked, his tone cold. “You think that matters to me?”

You didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. You were too consumed by the fear, the confusion, the way your body was betraying you, responding to his rough treatment in ways you didn’t want to admit.

Rafe’s grip loosened slightly, but his presence was still overwhelming, still suffocating. He leaned in, his lips ghosting over your ear. “You’ll learn to love this,” he whispered, a promise laced with dark intent. “You’ll learn to love me.”

And in that moment, you knew it wasn’t just a warning. It was a threat. Because Rafe Cameron wasn’t just mean, rough, and physical. He was dangerous. And now, you were trapped in his darkness.

Whether you could find your way out... that was something only time would tell.

[sunshinepanic]

OBX Masterlist

John B

Rafe Cameron

[seriska]

mafia au anyone? tbh the toxicity makes him hotter

[fallsndreamsalone]

I feel bad for all the straight men who never got to experience the feeling of being 13 staying up till 3am reading fan fiction

[reidiot]

when i say i hate men, my man (fictional character i'm currently obsessing over) is right behind me, nodding

[witchofawoman]

LATE NIGHTS ⋆｡°✩

5. Storm ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

featuring : jj maybank x kook!reader

summary : After last night’s tension with JJ and Rafe, you just wanted to disappear, but Rafe demanded you to come to a party, which you couldn't afford to refuse even though that's all your heart wanted as you knew how bad it would be for you...

words count : 2.5k

warnings : drug and alcohol usage, angst, violence, addiction, cheating, etc.

a/n : This is the 5th part of the serie !! Enjoy <3

That morning, you felt sick to your stomach. Sarah had gone to take a shower, but you sat on your bed, staring at Rafe’s text. The sight of it alone was enough to make you nauseous. It made you feel miserable, but you couldn’t afford to refuse his invitation. So, with a shaky hand, you texted him back a simple “ok.”

You were stressed. For once, Rafe would actually be with you at the party. He wouldn’t be off in some room with another girl. No, this time, he’d be right next to you, watching your every move. The thought of it was unbearable. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, JJ was going to be there too.

You stayed on your bed, lost in thought, until Sarah emerged from the bathroom.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” she asked. Her hair was damp, her usual outfit thrown together with practiced ease. Her lips curved into a faint smile, but her eyes gave her away it was like she was in a rush.

Before you could answer, a loud honking interrupted you. Frowning, you walked to the window and peeked out. John B’s van was parked outside, and his friends were piled in, waiting.

You shot Sarah a confused look, but she quickly held up a hand to cut you off. “I’ll explain later, but I have to go now. Please grab my stuff and bring it tonight, okay? Love you!”

Before you could even process what was happening, she was gone.

“Uh… okay,” you muttered to yourself. Your head spun. What was going on?

The day was suffocating, the hours crawling by with cruel deliberation. You couldn’t bring yourself to move, not even to grab a drink or smoke by the window. Your body felt heavy, weighed down by dread, your mind spinning in loops you couldn’t break. All you could do was lay in bed, staring blankly at the screen, movies flickering without meaning.

By the time 5 p.m. rolled around, the walls felt like they were closing in. You had no choice—you had to get up, had to move.

Dragging yourself to the mirror, you barely recognized your own reflection. Your skin was dull, your eyes sunken with exhaustion. You couldn’t care enough to pick a real outfit, so you grabbed the first thing your hand landed on: denim shorts and a white bikini top. You smeared on some makeup, shaky hands smudging the eyeliner, but you didn’t bother fixing it.

The phone buzzed violently on your nightstand, dragging you out of your spiral. You stared at the screen for a moment, your heart sinking when you saw his name. You didn’t want to answer—but you knew he wouldn’t stop. With a deep breath, you pressed the green button.

“Rafe,” you said, your voice flat.

“Where the fuck are you?” His voice was already sharp, cutting through you like glass.

“At home,” you replied, trying to keep your tone even.

“You were supposed to be here already.”

“You were supposed to pick me up,” you said, the exhaustion creeping into your words.

There was a pause on the line, followed by the sound of him sniffing. It made your stomach churn.

“Do you think I have time to play chauffeur, Y/N?” His voice was low now, edged with something darker. “Jesus Christ, you can’t do anything for yourself, can you?”

“Are you seriously doing this right now? You’re the one who forgot—”

“Don’t fucking start with me,” he snapped, his voice rising. “You love this, don’t you? Acting like a victim all the time. Like I’m the bad guy. Guess what, love? You are the problem. You’re pathetic.”

You blinked, your breath hitching.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you whispered, anger and hurt mixing into something volatile.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” he snarled. “Do you think anyone else would put up with your shit? Your little tantrums, your moods? Nobody cares about you, Y/N. Not Sarah, not those Pogues, and sure as hell not me if you keep acting like this.”

“Then leave!” you shouted, your voice breaking. “If I’m so goddamn unbearable, leave!”

There was another sniff on the other end of the line, followed by a humorless laugh.

“Oh, I will, love. But not before you drag your sorry ass here. And don’t you dare try anything tonight, or we’re done. You hear me? Done.”

“I—” you started, but the line went dead.

You stared at your phone, your chest heaving, the words you couldn’t say burning in your throat. 

 It coursed through you, a fiery rush that burned away everything else. Grabbing your bottle of pills, a few joints, and your car keys, you stormed out.

By the time you got to the party, the music was thumping, and the house was packed. You didn’t care. You didn’t want to see Rafe, didn’t want to see anyone. Slipping through the chaos, you headed upstairs.

It was Lucy’s house. You knew it well, knew the quiet spots but most of all knew how to disappear. The upstairs bathroom was perfect. Locking the door behind you, you dumped the pills onto the counter, crushed them into neat lines, and inhaled. The burn hit hard, sharp and immediate, but the numbness came quicker. Your heart raced, your mind blurred.

The bathroom door burst open so hard it slammed against the wall, making you flinch.

“Hey.”

The voice was familiar, but you were too dazed to place it. Blinking, you turned—and the sight of JJ standing in the doorway hit you like a bucket of ice water.

“JJ,” you breathed, your voice shaky.

“What the fuck are you doing?” His eyes were sharp

You wiped at your nose, trying to compose yourself. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “Yeah, sure. Nothing looks a lot like snorting shit alone in a bathroom at a party.”

You crossed your arms, meeting his glare with defiance. “What are you even doing here, JJ?”

“Looking for beer, not a breakdown,” he shot back. “But I guess you’d call this fate, huh?”

You scoffed, leaning against the sink. “Oh, spare me the lecture.”

“I’m not lecturing you,” he said, his voice dropping slightly. “I’m just wondering how someone who acts so untouchable is actually this fucking reckless.”

You stiffened, the words cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. “What do you care?”

“I don’t,” he snapped, but his eyes betrayed him. “I mean—fuck, Y/N. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to yourself? Or is this just another game to you?”

“Don’t act like you know me,” you said, stepping closer. “You don’t. You never did.”

“Oh, I know you,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “I know you push people away before they can hurt you. I know you can’t stand being vulnerable for even a second because you think it makes you weak. But you know what’s really weak, Y/N? This. Hiding in a bathroom, getting high like that’s gonna fix anything.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and stinging. But instead of retreating, you closed the gap between you, your faces now inches apart.

“Am I weak, JJ?” you whispered, your voice soft but laced with challenge. “Or are you just scared of me?”

His breath hitched, his eyes flicking to your lips for the briefest moment.

“Scared of you?” he said, his voice quieter now, tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. “You wish.”

Your lips curved into a faint smirk, but before either of you could say anything else, the moment shattered.

“Little bitch, you are, Y/N.”

Rafe’s voice cut through the air like a whip, and JJ stepped back, his expression hardening as Rafe stormed in.

“What, Rafe? I’m the bitch here?” you said, your voice sharp, not even turning to look at him as you wiped at your nose again.

He didn’t answer, and didn't waste time. He grabbed your arm and spun you around, slamming you back against the wall. His hand gripped your waist hard enough to bruise, his face inches from yours.

“Look at me,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “What the fuck were you doing with that Pogue?”

“Do you need to know every move I make?” you snapped, meeting his glare head-on.

“Yes,” he spat, his grip tightening. “Because you’re mine. Do you hear me? You’re fucking mine.”

“I’m not yours, Rafe!” you screamed, shoving at his chest. “I’m not your property, and you don’t get to control me!”

His eyes darkened, his face twisting in fury. “You’re gonna regret saying that.”

“Fuck you,” you shot back, your voice trembling with rage. “This is the end, Rafe. Never talk to me again. Go back to your little flings and hope they’re stupid enough to put up with your bullshit.”

“You don’t get to leave me,” he snarled, but you were already shoving past him, slamming the door behind you as you disappeared into the chaos of the party.

a/n : I know it's been a while since I haven't posted but I'm trying my best I promise, love you !!

[like and follow !!]

Taglist : @immyowndefender @imsiriuslyreal @yvesoull1 @yesshewrites1

[bellaed1t]

part 2 in the making

it will be longer! around 1k to 1.3k