#rafe cameronnimagines

[rafescoke]

Need To Know ; Rafe Cameron (Part 3)

masterlist

#Part 3

Previous parts: #Part 1, #Part 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: The reader confronts Rafe about his past

Warnings: Mentions of suicide!, major feels, substance, swearing, angst

A/N: I’m sorry for what I’m about to put you guys through. Thank you for 400 followers ily <3

p.s, my request box is always open

“Hello?”

“Hey?”

(Y/N) stopped pacing, her heartbeat quickening. She glanced at her wall, searching for the time, and she felt her heart ripping in two.

12.03 a.m.

“Hello?” The feminine voice said again, annoyed.

“Who is this?” She whispered, and she didn’t know what she was expecting. A part of her was telling her to end the call for the sake of her mental health, and another part of her was telling her to stay and wait.

“Who is this? You called me,” the voice sighed, and (Y/N) could hear the distant laughter coming from the television in the background. “Look, is this a prank? I’m not going to-”

“Is Rafe there?” She mumbled, and she could feel her forehead starting to sweat. She looked down to her hands, noticing how they were in a fist involuntarily.

“Who is this?” The voice asked again, but her voice perked up. “Sarah?”

“Who is it?” A manly voice suddenly appeared in the distant and (Y/N) widened her eyes, her mind starting to connect the dots. (Y/N) listened as whoever it was struggled to hold the phone while Rafe pushed them off for it before his voice thrummed against her eardrums again. “Who is this?”

She didn’t say anything, but she could feel her tears slowly pooling on the bottoms of her eyes. How could he do this to her? It has been 2 weeks since they last talked to each other, and when she finally tried to make it right again, here he was; with his ex.

“End it,” Rafe said to the girl, and before (Y/N) could say anything she heard the dial sped up, noting the end of the phone call. She stayed in the standing position a few more minutes, her head starting to feel light and she could feel her bearings slowly disappearing.

She hadn’t been eating good since their last fight, and most of her friends were starting to worry for her. Topper and Kelce came to visit her earlier that day, bringing McDonald’s and her favourite chocolate, but all she did was giving them a weak smile and proceeded to eat only a few of the fries before offering them to her father.

And she thought Rafe would be worse since he was the one who’s in the wrong, but based on her latest call, it gave her a clear meaning of how he doesn’t care about them and fixing whatever they had left.

She laughed, letting her tears fell to her cheeks, getting so used to her sore eyes now that they were apart of her look now. Her mind didn’t stop thinking about Rafe and the possibilities of them being together again, and how she hoped against hope that it was all a bit misunderstanding, and that he was just there with his ex for. . .

She didn’t know. There was no good reason for someone to stay in the same room as their ex, good friends or not.

She didn’t fell asleep until 6 in the morning, and she was woken up by the soft rapping against her door by her mother, asking her to wake up to start her day. She opened her eyes for a while, trying to think about what happened previously, and when the thought of what happened a few hours ago occurred in her mind, she closed her eyes to sleep them off again.

“Hey.”

“Huh?” She groaned, trying to open her eyes against the bright sunlight coming from her once always-open window. “Tops? What are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” he said, and watched as she shifted into a seating position. She was a mess; her hair was no longer that shiny (H/C) colour, her eyes were puffy and sore and her cheeks were red and blotchy. She was the epitome of a heartbreak.

“And I’m right. You’re not doing good.”

“I’m tired,” she croaked, and she sighed. Good. Another part of her losing. From her bright face to her hair, now it was the voice.

“And that’s not good,” Topper groaned, standing up and offering his hand to her. “You’ve been like this for 2 weeks, (Y/N), and I’m not letting you go on with this until the summer ends.”

“I’ll kill myself by then,” she mumbled, still not budging from her seat. “You should leave. I don’t want you here.”

Topper stared at her, and retrieved his hands back. (Y/N) glanced up at the blonde boy and sighed, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, Tops. I don’t mean it like that. I’m just not okay. Thanks for checking up on me,” she quickly said, offering her own hands at him. Topper took her hands in his, pulling her up to her feet and watching her scrunched up sheets, signalling how she had been spending most of her time in there.

“It’s okay,” he said, “But I can’t let you do this to yourself, okay? We miss the bright you.”

“Rafe doesn’t seem to miss me.”

“Fuck him, god,” He groaned, already pulling her to the bathroom. “Look, there’s a party tonight-” he watched her face changed, “Wait! And I don’t think Rafe’s going to be there. Just a small party, you’re going to be there with me and Kelce, and it’s just going to be perfect. You’re in?”

“I look horrible.”

“Nothing a shower can’t fix.”

She groaned, scrunching her face up. “Fine. Only tonight. And you’re staying with me.”

Topper smiled, pulling her into a side hug and letting go of her quickly, pretending to pull a disgusted face only for her to push him away. “Kidding. You still smell good even after not showering for 3 days.”

“I shower.”

“It’s okay to not shower,” he sighed, watching her enter the bathroom and quickly locking the door. He leaned against the door, putting his mouth near the slit so she could hear him. “But it’s not okay to lie.”

(Y/N) laughed genuinely for the first time in 2 weeks, her heart lifting and her skin slowly regaining its colour.

Maybe she does want her old life back, even if there’s no Rafe in it.

. . .

“The news got around fast,” (Y/N) mumbled, throwing her now-shampooed hair over her shoulder. She watched as Kelce laughed, and noticed another pair of eyes on her. She gave the owner a look, to which she quickly looked away, embarrassed to be caught.

“Obx is small,” Topper shrugged, handing her a the red cup filled with Pepsi (she had told him beforehand that she wants to stay sober) with a sly smile. “And you’re the kook’s princess. I’m not surprised.”

(Y/N) scrunched her face at the taste of the carbonated drink, and put the cup aside, putting her hands up to her friends as a ‘wait’ sign before making her way to the drinks counter for a better choice. Her eyes skimmed over the mineral water to the cocktail, and lastly; the shots.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What? You told me I should have fun,” (Y/N) giggled, placing three shot glass on the table and a big glass bottle of Absolute Vodka. “Come on. Tops, you said you missed the old me.”

He swallowed his saliva and sighed, “Fine. One shot only.”

“Fair,” she giggled, pouring the alcohol into each glass and watched as her friends prepared themselves. They downed the whole glass when the counting by Kelce reached ‘3’, scrunching up their faces and feeling their throats burning from the taste.

(Y/N) laughed, her mind woozy and her heartbeat quickening from the thrill of everything. “This is fun.”

Topper laughed along with her, watching the way she was tilting her head. “Yeah. But that’s enough.”

“You’re no fun,” she pouted, and before he could stop her she downed herself another glass and shook her head right after, feeling the liquid slowly making their way down to her empty stomach.

“That’s enough,” Topper repeated, grabbing the bottle in case she was in her rebellion state, but he felt bad when she sat by the sofa with her arms crossed, not looking at him and inconstantly tapping her feet lightly to the music.

“Try something lighter,” he offered, and watched as she kept ignoring him. “You’re impossible.”

“I just want to drink,” she rolled her eyes, still not looking at him. She thought about how drinking was the only way to forget about him because all she wanted was to stop thinking about that certain boy for just a few minutes.

“Okay. But be careful,” he said, handing her the glass bottle. (Y/N) exclaimed in happiness and he couldn’t help but smile at her, watching her drinking straight from the bottle.

“Okay, fuck, you’re a bitch,” he quickly pulled the bottle away when she went for another gulp, “You broke our promise. Now you’re going to be drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” she groaned, “I’m hardly ever drunk.”

But she felt light. So, so light. She felt like floating around the room, laughing at every joke and fighting with anyone who disagrees with her.

“I know that look,” Topper grunted, and sighed. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not, I’m just going to go to the bathroom, okay?-” she made to stand up, holding her hand up, “And don’t follow me, Tops, that’s sexual harassment.”

Kelce laughed and Topper hit him, muttering angrily about how ‘I was just trying to look after he, man’. His eyes followed her movement to the door on the far left of the house and he sighed, thinking about how this wasn’t his plan to help her at all.

(Y/N) hummed to the song blaring from the speaker as she tried to find the bathroom, being shocked twice to strangers kissing in a small room when she opened the door. She sighed, because she couldn’t guess her bearings anymore; she felt as if she was going around in circles, and there was no exit.

“(Y/N)?”

Her eyes fell on a pair of blue eyes, and she felt her heart stopped.

Is she hallucinating?

“Hey, you’re okay?” He made to touch her, but she flinched and pulled away, her heart banging against her chest.

“No,” she said, trying to get past him only to stumble, feeling so lightheaded she couldn’t differentiate the colours of the wall and the floor. Rafe caught her arms, lifting her up and helping her to walk.

“Let go,” she said, but she leaned onto his warm touch. She felt like crying; she missed his scent; a mixture of cigarette and expensive cologne and his hands around her, and she felt like enclosing herself to him.

“I’m not letting you go, you’ll fall,” he said, still trying to help her walk. “Did you drink anything?”

“What’dya think?” She mumbled, closing her eyes and letting him helped her. She didn’t have the strength to open her eyes anymore, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the drinks or the sadness in her.

Rafe placed the intoxicated girl on top of a bed in an extra guest bedroom, watching as her chest heaved up and down slowly. He was sure she was sleeping from the way she was breathing and tried to leave her be before she realised that it was him who brought her in, but her fingers were wrapped around his wrist before he could go.

He stared at her as she slowly opened her eyes, and Rafe felt all the hurt in his heart starting to form again. She looked angelic, all soft under his touch, and he had missed her more than anything else in the world.

“Don’t go,” she whispered. “I missed you.”

His breath hitched, because he knew he didn’t deserve her. She was this gold trophy everyone wanted, and it was like he couldn’t take care of it. He sniffed and looked away, not wanting to stare into her eyes again.

“What’s wrong?” She whispered, her voice creaking. “Do you not love me anymore?”

“You know that’s not true,” he forced himself to speak, sighing. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” she smiled weakly, pulling him next to her again. “We can be together again, right? Like always? I need you here, Rafe.”

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered back, and watched as her face contorted into anger.

“What do you mean I don’t mean that?” She tried to sir up, holding her head. Rafe tried to help her down again to which she swatted his hands away, “Don’t fucking touch me. I swear to god.”

“You’re drunk,” he tried to console her, putting his hands up in a surrender mode and watched as she backed away from him. “And I get that. I’m sorry. I won’t talk to you again.”

“You can’t just sorry me, fuck, Rafe, you’re an asshole,” she laughed, pointing her fingers at him. “You can’t tell me you’re sorry when you’re back with your fucking ex.”

He raised his brows, looking up to her. “What are you saying? I’m not back. . . oh. Oh my god. No, no, it’s not-” he watched her face changing, “No, no, baby, it’s not what you think it is.”

“I heard her.”

“I was just there, to, um, to talk to her-” he stood up, trying to get closer to her. He wanted to hold her, letting her stare into his eyes and see how sincere he is. In truth, he had been over his ex’s house to talk about how they should both put the failed relationship behind them for the sake of their future lives, but when he went to the toilet, (Y/N) had called him unexpectedly and of course his ex would pick the call up.

She’s always in for drama.

“Talk? Or fuck?”

“God, (Y/N), I swear! I was just talking to her!” He groaned, pulling on his hair and making it more messier than before. “I wanted her to stop talking about me and I’m sorry she answered the call, okay? I was, I, I was in the bathroom.”

“You’re stuttering,” she spitted, anger coursing through her veins. If he thought she would believe his stupid lies again. . .

“I’m nervous, fuck!” He cursed, looking into her eyes to search for any ounce of love she had had for him before. “Please, listen to me, (Y/N), I love you too much to let this go. I can’t let you go. I can’t.”

They were both breathing heavily, coming down from the brief fight they had a few minutes ago. He watched as she scooted closer, cupping his face to look into her eyes again. He sniffed, and he felt his temperature warming up.

“I trusted you, Rafe.”

“You can trust me again, (Y/N), I’m not lying, I swear,” he begged, putting his hands above hers. She closed her eyes, letting the tears under her eyes fell down to her cheeks, and Rafe quickly wiped them away, his heart heavy.

“Please. One more chance. Please.”

“I don’t know-”

“Please. I can’t live without you. I’ve been living off coke and fucking mineral bottles and I just can’t bring myself to do anything without you by my side,” he confessed, his own eyes glassy. “Please. You know you’re all I have.”

(Y/N) swiped her thumb over his lips and watched as he cried. She pulled him into a hug, her own heart heavy from the only choices she had; to go back, or don’t.

“I will always love you, Rafe. You do know that, right?” She whispered into his ear, and he pulled her closer. “And we can always be (Y/N) and Rafe.”

“Yeah,” he laughed, pulling them apart and cupping her face using his large hands. They were both crying now, staring into each other’s life as if on life support. “We can still be them, baby, we can.”

“We can’t.”

His face contorted into confusion, “No, no, we can. I swear. I’ll change. I’ll do anything for you.”

“We can’t, Rafe,” she sighed, holding cupping his own face with her fingers again. “And you know it. We’re just not ready for it.”

“We can,” he begged, his own voice trailing. “We can, baby, we can.”

“I’m always here for you, Rafe,” she said, her voice breaking. “And we’re just not fit for each other.”

“We are,” he tried, but he knew that look. He knew that final look so well. His heart felt heavier than ever now, and all he could think about was running non-stop until he couldn’t breathe.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to live anymore.

He pulled away, shielding himself from her using his back, wiping his tears and standing up from the bed. (Y/N) didn’t try to stop him now, watching him as he walked slowly towards the door.

He turned to look at her again for the last time, muttering a ‘I’m sorry’ before exiting the room. (Y/N) sighed, not wanting to walk out of the room, but she knew she had to get back to Topper before he finally realised her disappearance.

Her head felt better now, although she’ve just done the most hardest thing in her life. She knew their relationship wouldn’t be the same if she had accepted him back, already overseeing the amount of fights they’re going to have in the car, the screams they’ll give to each other. . . the best thing to do was to let him go.

Rafe didn’t think he was joking about wanting to end everything. He lost everything in his world; he lost his father who didn’t care about him, he lost his real mom, his relationship with his sisters and now, her.

He parked his car and stared at the blackness in front of him, his heart almost certain. He was scared, of course, but he didn’t want to think anymore.

The night breeze hit him as he made his way to the edge, hearing the sound of waves filling his eardrums. He took a look at the strong current below him and shuddered.

He thought about her again, his heartbeat beating faster. He saw her smile in his mind, her beautiful eyes and that calming voice.

He smiled, his cheeks wet from his tears, and did what he thought was right.

-

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