#rafael barba oc

[nobitchs-world]

Me after explaining the multiverse of different people and characters where I have different ocs in my head to my sisters

[squadmuse]

NSFW ALPHABET

THE RAFAEL BARBA EDITION

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Rafael is attentive after sex, checking in with you. He runs a hot bubble bath for you both, and cuddles you from behind in a ton of bubbles and some nice candles lit up too, as he’s a romantic at heart. He’s quick to fall asleep afterwards, spooning you from behind.

B - Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partner’s body)

Rafael likes his mouth and his hands; he knows how skilled he is with both, in the bedroom & elsewhere. He loves your breasts, which is because Rafael loves cuddling with you and lying his head on your breasts but he also loves seeing them bounce as you ride him.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum basically…)

Rafael prefers cumming into a condom if you’re not trying for a baby, as he is meticulous about planning for that. So he enjoys cumming in your mouth or on your breasts and ass.

D - Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Rafael is into yacht sex, he loves getting to rent out a boat and go sailing with you before then having sex with you out at sea. Another dirty secret would be that he is a switch - but Rafael doesn’t let you dominate him until he’s fully comfortable.

E - Experience (how experienced are they, do they know what they are doing?)

While at Harvard for college, Rafael had a sort-of-wild phase and experienced a good amount of sex. But since he’s been working as a sex crimes prosecutor, Rafael has been less interested in dating and so, has only had a few relationships as he focused on his career and the effects of the content he sees. He knows what he is doing, and is always determined to do it well.

F - Favourite Position (again, pretty self explanatory…)

Rafael loves cowgirl; seeing you ride him gets him so feral (and it’s easy on his back) - but he also loves doggystyle; seeing his cock slip in and out of your ass or pussy makes him go ten times faster and harder. Missionary is also a position that Rafael enjoys, and he loves how close it lets you both be and it’s something he loves doing when you’re finally trying for a baby.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous?)

Rafael is a serious sort of guy but that doesn’t mean he won’t crack a joke or laugh. He has such a mouth on him, a silver tongue of the highest level and will always surprise you.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

Rafael is trimmed and groomed, just like he is up top.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? Are they romantic?)

Once you’re in a serious relationship, Rafael is extremely romantic and old fashioned - he will light candles, scatter rose petals, tender touches and the whole nine yards - he spoils you. He takes you out dancing, fine dining you and sweeping you off your feet beforehand too. But that doesn’t mean Rafael doesn’t go feral and fuck like a man possessed, with the dirtiest words spilling from his lips.

J - Jack Off (masturbation…)

Rafael doesn’t do it much, it isn’t something he’s really bothered by or into and he much prefers to fuck your sexy ass or wet pussy. He’ll do it if you’re away for a conference or something, with you away he’s struggling to sleep or wants you so he calls you up and phone sex occurs.

K - Kink (what are their kink/s?)

Rafael is a dom in bed. He loves tying you up and loves using his wide collection of ties and belts to do it. Edging is something he gets into with you and he loves seeing you in lingerie. He realises also after getting you pregnant that he’s really into seeing you pregnant and fucking you as such. Oh and if you striptease with a little dance for Rafael, he is a literal gooey horny puddle for you.

L - Location (where are their favourite places to do the do?)

Bedroom, living room, bathroom etc. anywhere in your shared apartment, Rafael loves to fuck you there… also he loves boat/yacht sex, hot tub sex & pool sex.

M - Motivation (what turns them on, what gets them going?)

Rafael didn’t expect himself to get so turned on by you being pregnant, there was something so animalistic and primal about seeing you with his unborn child. He also gets so turned on by your intelligence and quick wit, and when you pull him in for a heated kiss by his tie or suspenders. Lingerie always gets Rafael hot for you, regardless of the colour or fabric and he loves seeing you all dressed & dolled up.

N - No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs?)

Rafael will never ever hurt you or go too far - he grew up in an abusive home with an abusive father who abused him & his mother, so Rafael will never lay a hand on you. He sets clear boundaries for anything kinky that you both do, and a safe word picked out. Turns off for Rafael would be clinginess, immaturity, rudeness and lack of respect.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill etc)

Rafael loves giving oral and also receiving it - but he is first and foremost a giver. He absolutely loves eating you out as if it’s an Olympic sport and he has such a shit eating smirk on his face as he listens to your moans and squeals. But when you go down on him? Sucking him just right, and he can’t help the flurry of English & Spanish curses falling from his lips.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough, soft and sensual?)

Rafael is both. He prefers soft and sensual sex however. He’s an old soul at heart and he believes in making love to you, his soulmate. But sometimes, you and Rafael love to go fast and rough, him pounding into you.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often etc.)

Rafael isn’t opposed to a quickie with you, but he prefers to take his time and worship your body. Sometimes a quickie is all he has time for, and if he’s busy with a case then Rafael will call you up and you’re either fucking in his office or your own.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Rafael isn’t going to risk his or your reputations or jobs, but he isn’t against experimenting in bed with you. The furthest he will go that is risqué is murmuring dirty words in your ear, in English or Spanish.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

As he’s gotten older, Rafael can’t last as long as he used to be able to. He can usually go about two rounds and he makes sure to make them both count and puts in a ton of oral beforehand.

T - Toys (do they own toys, do they use toys? on a partner or themselves?)

Rafael doesn’t like or enjoy toys being used on him, other than getting tied up and blindfolded. He’s up for trying them out on you, making sure to memorise how your body reacts - he loves using your vibrator on you.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Rafael Barba aka Rafael the Tease - he loves to tease you so much. Seeing you squirm and aroused like mad gets him so hard.

V - Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make etc?)

Rafael switches between English and Spanish in bed, and he groans a lot as he fucks you. He also has the dirtiest mouth ever and will swear more than usual too.

W - Wild Card (random headcanon)

Rafael is surprised to find out he enjoys roleplay and dress-up with you - which ties into his love of you dressed up or in lingerie and when you’re pregnant. But after a Broadway show date, the two of you will meet at a bar or restaurant and pretend you’re strangers or on a blind date, and head home together and rut like rabbits.

X - X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Rafael is very cocky and he has the cock to go with such an ego - he is thick and a good length, a grower not a shower to an extent. He is veiny and cut, and you love the delicious stretch it gives you every time.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Rafael didn’t think he had a high sex drive until he met you, and those days when you’re both busy with work it will happen minimum twice a week.

Z - Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

Rafael always sleeps best when he is with you - and after sex & an after-sex bath, he is a sleepy puppy and wraps you up in his arms. He snuggles his face into the crook of your neck and loves how you hold his hands even as you both sleep.

[p3ndeja6]

₊ ⊹🪻 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🔮

n.amaro x reader

summary: you were younger then nick by a couple of years, and sometimes he’d come over to your apartment after late nights at the precinct, he’d come over to just enjoy peace and serenity

content: fluff, reader is in school (2nd or 3rd year of college) suggestive acts (nothing extreme), age gap!, mentions of sexual abuse due to svu cases, nothing too triggering, just a fluffy one shot overall

super short

✧ ✧

it was late at night, you were working on an essay that was due by the end of the week.. you were getting strained and decided to take a break and call it a day.

You made yourself a quick meal, spicy buldak noodles, a sandwich and your favorite drink that was saved in the fridge. You prepared your meal as you were watching your favorite show. you were almost done preparing your late-night snack when you heard the doorknob shake.

You lived a pretty safe vicinity so the chances of a burgler were slim, but you still were vigilant about your safety, you quickly grabbed your broom and held it tight.

Upon your discovery, the door opened and you saw your boyfriend… nick.

You sighed of relief, and he looked at you worried

“Jesus Nick, you scared me!” “geez sorry, i thought this neighbor was safe?”

you put the broom down, “I mean it is but you never know” “yeah.. tell me about it”

he walked to you as you went back in finishing preparing your ramen, he went behind you and grabbed you hips and nuzzled his head in between your neck, kissing you, making you giggle due to his stubble

he continued and you moved your head slightly to give him more access, he took this as a sign to continue. You tried not to get distracted but you let a soft moan escape.

he laughed,and started moving up your body; cupping your boobs. You laughed and finally pushed him away

“stop Nick” you laughed “I want to eat, I’ve been working on an assignment for the past 5 hours.” he let go and laughed “my hard working girl, okay okay I’ll let you eat but next time, you’re all mine!”

you shook your head in sarcasm, he took of his jacket and unbuttoned his white shirt a couple of buttons down, and took off his shoes. He adjusted himself on your couch, and laid there with his eyes closed taking in the aroma therapy essential oils diffuser thats going around your room.

you look at him, now realizing that he’s here strangely. Nick stops by late nights most weekends or if it’s a weekday he’ll let you know earlier in the day if he’s stopping by, but it’s currently a Tuesday at 12:36 am.

“hey Nick?”

he hummed in response, most likely getting sleepy

“not to sound rude or anything.. but why are you here? It’s late on a Tuesday night, shouldn’t you be at your place?”

He opened one eye and looked over at you

“do you not want me here?” He said a bit suspicious

“oh god, no like yeah I do, but I just realized what day it was and you know you usually let me know when you’re coming over and it’s usually weekends you spend the night with me, I just found it odd you came to visit me tonight” “I love it when you’re here really”

you finally finished your ramen and took it towards the couch where Nick was, and started eating as you waited for a response.

he was hesitant in his answer, he seemed stressed and frustrated.

“today we had a tough case.. a rape case..”

you look at him attentively, making sure you are hearing him and that he has your fullest attention.

you nod in continuous

“and well… it’s about a 8 year old girl who’s after school teacher has been acting inappropriately with her.. you know like touching her where she shouldn’t be touched”

“oh my god” was what you let out

“yeah, and her home life isn’t easy, this one was a bit tough to work on dude to how young and bright this little girl is. I hate to see anyone take it away from her”

you put your ramen down and get close to him, caressing his hand.

“and being here.. with you just brings me peace. All is perfect here, so sorry i came unexpected but i really needed to see you”

you smiled at him

“awe baby, you know you are always welcomed here, I love having you here, never goes a day where I don’t miss you”

you make him look at you and caress his cheek, looking so attentively at his eyes, leaning in and kissing him so gracefully.

he takes you in, and guides a hand on your neck. You move to his lap and continue to kiss him, sucking on each others lips, and you slightly grinding on him

he groans a bit and you continue to bit his lip. You pull away with his lip in between your teeth and stare at him and run a finger across his now plumped lips

“thank you for coming over”

“thank you for having me”

[valentinesfrog]

This Barbie is…

[bullet-prooflove]

Law & Order Franchise Masterlist

Law & Order - Masterlist

Law & Order: Criminal Intent Masterlist

Law & Order Criminal Intent: Toronto Masterlist

Law & Order: Organised Crime Masterlist

Law & Order SVU Masterlist

[claires-audience]

I am fully convinced that svu wanted to let us know that mariska is mommy 🥵 because there is no way olivia went to a child’s funeral in that lol

[multifandomingmess]

wants i want for law and order: svu (season 26)

a case that makes olivia face the William lewis trauma. it will make her spiral. the suspect will oddly resemble him. do i like seeing olivia in pain? no. trauma is nothing to be entertained by but i like when we see these emotions and the general effects on the mental health.

rollins being brought back, even if it's in a role like dr. wong - i feel that it would suit her, especially with her psychology knowledge

bring back henry mescner. i absolutely want to see the storyline continue.

bring back some oldies - both good and bad characters - let barba and liv reconcilate and still be friends. they deserve it. bring back some of scary POS like erik weber (let's see how this dude is handling his jail sentence. maybe one of the cases has a hit on one of the hard drives he turned in), dale stuckey (maybe a silly episode where he attempts to escape prison and sees olivia again because that would be awkward and hilarious), and maybe - let's explore the possibility of Richard Wheatley being alive because I'm 95% sure he was involved in crimes against women - his treatment towards angela speaks volumes! also, novak and cabot return when???

a PROPER tribute episode to munch

more crossovers with organized crime because so many of the cases have jurisdiction to be handled by both units

[thirtysomethingloser92]

I think the worst thing about writing is that I’m in dire need to write that slow burn Rafael Barba/Reader story, because apparently ya’ll are thirsty bitches for our sassy suspender wearing ADA and I’m willing to take one for the team.

I have a sort of plot, a vibe, and borderline personality disorder- enjoy the angst this is gonna bring.

Ya welcome.

[winchesterszvonecek]

Prosecutorial Misconduct 18+

// Rafael Barba x Original Character \\

Summary: Rafael Barba never intended to fall for Melanie Dodds, but now that he had... He was slowly beginning to uncover that there may be far more to the rough and tumble Detective than meets the eye.

Series Masterlist

Like this story? Apply to its tag list here so you don’t miss out on updates!

Full Masterlist | A03 Link

Chapter 1: An Evening at Forlini’s

Chapter 2: A Regular Friday Morning

Chapter 3: Deputy Chief William Dodds

Chapter 4: Certified Scuba Diver, Melanie Dodds

Chapter 5: A Pretzel, A Pigeon and A Patrol Officer

Chapter 6: A Game of Subway Surfers

Chapter 7: A Long Awaited Reunion

Chapter 8: A Whirlwind of Emotions

Chapter 9: A Little Brotherly Advice

Chapter 10: Targeted Misfortune

Chapters: 9/? (ongoing - on a small hiatus)

Want to see my rambles about this story? #melrambles

Like my work? Consider buying me a coffee!

[nophunleague]

stare decisis: chapter three - ira

ira: latin for annoyance

masterlist

wc: 951

rafael barba x original female character

“I told you this wasn’t going to end well,” Quinn boasts in a sing-songy tone as Barba enters the shared reception between their offices. She’s sitting in a chair across from Carmen’s desk; almost like she was waiting for him to come into work today. She sips her coffee smugly, smirking as he stops in his tracks. 

“Morning Miss Brady. Smug are we today?” he sighs and opens the door to his office, she follows him in.

“Only proportionally to what is warranted.”

“You seemed to be worried about rights violations while we were acting in our official capacities; Amaro was arrested off duty so I’m not sure this act is proportionally warranted,” he says as he sets his briefcase down on his desk. She stalls for only a split second then speaks again.

“It wouldn’t have gone that far if they would have stopped pursuing the case when you told them to,” he rolls his eyes.

“You haven’t been here long enough to make that call. Amaro always ends up in trouble; one way or another,” she already knows that Amaro is not Barba’s favorite person so she largely brushes the comment off. 

“I heard IAB already pulled him in and started an investigation. As reckless and stupid as what he did was, I would hate to see a good cop ruin his career over a creep like Simon Wilkes,” she stares into her coffee mug, her reflection shown in the dark liquid. 

“Tucker has never been his biggest fan so I think he’ll at least take a hit on his jacket for this,” Barba admits as he pulls case files from the briefcase on his desk, eager to get to work. 

“Well that sucks. I’ve got first appearances today so I’ll see you later,” she says to him before slipping off to court for the foreseeable future. 

***

Finally leaving the courtroom after hours and hours of first appearances, Quinn makes her way back to her office when she’s stopped by her name being called out behind her.

“Miss Brady! Miss Brady,” she turns around to see a tall and slender man with short but graying hair. Cop, she thinks to herself. 

“That’s me. And you are?” she asks, he pulls out his credentials and flashes his shield. She recognizes the name from her conversation with Barba this morning. 

“Ed Tucker, Internal Affairs Bureau. I’m here about-” she cuts him off.

“Nick Amaro,” he nods but says nothing else.

“Are you going to ask me a question or just stand there and look stupid?” he almost takes a step back at her tone, she stares him down. 

“My office is under the impression that you staunchly opposed the SVU squad’s continued investigation into the Wilkes case. Is that true?” he pulls out a pen and notepad as he asks; she thinks for a moment. 

“I opposed my colleagues in the Special Victims Unit acting in their official capacities to investigate an obviously disturbed individual.”

“In their official capacities?” he asks, trying to copy down every word she says.

“Yes, but what they do on their own time is not my business,” she explains, adjusting the strap of her tote bag on her shoulder. 

“So you have no opinion on what Detective Amaro did to Mr. Wilkes?” she can sense he’s getting annoyed with her answers.

“I do not,” a small smirk twitches at her lips. “If that’s all Mr. Tucker, I haven’t eaten lunch yet and it’s oh, well, three o’clock. Have a great day,” she glances at her watch and begins to walk away. 

“They fought awful hard to not lead me to you. There’s something more, I’m sure of it,” he calls out from behind her; she keeps walking. 

Olivia is in Barba’s office when Quinn returns from first appearances and her first run in with Tucker. She’s only really returned to the office to grab her wallet before she slips out for a late lunch. 

In Barba’s office she can faintly overhear a charged conversation. “Rafa, if Nick is going to have a chance at getting back on the squad, she’s got to stay away from Tucker,” she hears Olivia plead to Rafael. 

“She’s never met him, so I don’t know how you expect her to stay away from him,” she hears him respond. Grabbing her wallet from her desk drawer she decides to peak into his office as she steps out. 

“I’d really hate to butt into a conversation that doesn’t involve me; but oh wait, this one does,” she speaks and she pushes his office door open, their eyes widening as they realize she’s back. Barba springs to his feet, Olivia merely turns around to face her. 

“Sergeant Benson was merely expressing her frustration with the IAB investigation into Detective Amaro,” he explains. 

“No need to cover it up, I heard. It just so happens that Tucker tracked me down on my way back up here. We had a little chat,” she crosses her arms across her chest as she leans against the door frame, her slender arm saved from the cool metal of the frame by the sleeve of her blazer.

“Well I certainly hope you didn’t contribute to ruining a good cop’s career?” Liv stares the attorney down, not letting up on her position that Quinn should not be involved in the investigation. 

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Quinn doesn’t let up either. Even though she knows she didn’t help or hurt Amaro’s case, she knows the squad still doesn’t like her so whatever she says isn’t going to help in building the relationship with them. “I’ve had a long day. Barba I’m stepping out for lunch. Good to see you Sergeant.”

[maggie32432]

A Family - Part 2 (Rafael Barba Imagine)

It's been three years since you last saw Rafael Barba. He returns for the Stabler case, seeing you again for the first time since he left abruptly, leaving the life you were building together behind. Little did he know...it's not just you now he left behind.

You unlock the door to your apartment, allowing Rafael and yourself in to see your babysitter waiting there on the couch. "Hi, Lizzie. How is she?" "In her crib. She's a little sleepy today," The younger girl smiles at the both of you, as the realization begins to dawn on Rafa. "You're good to go for the day. I'll see you tomorrow?" You ask and she nods with a smile while grabbing her bag.

"What-what is going on?" Rafael asks, tears already in his eyes. Lizzie exits the apartment and Rafael immediately sits down. "Rafa," "Were you- were you pregnant?" He asks with tears in his eyes, "Yes...I found out two days after you left,"

Before you can see his reaction, you go into the baby's room and grab her from her crib, letting her lay in your arms as you walk back out to see Rafa.

His jaw drops and eyes are wide as he sees her get carried into the room. Her big blue eyes open to look around and then look at Rafael. She has long brown hair and warm-colored skin. She looks just like him. "This is Lily. She is your daughter," You say, keeping your courage as much as you can as you stare this man down. Tears escape his eyes as he stands up, "She-she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," He says, lips curving into a smile, and that might just be enough to make your heart melt.

He surprises you by wrapping his arms around both you and your baby girl. The baby, of course, you expected him to want to embrace immediately. But not the hug around you too. Your head falls against his shoulder as he hugs the both of you with shaking hands. "Mama?" She mumbles, half asleep, "Mi amor," You mumble, kissing her forehead tenderly. Rafa looks up, clearly surprised, "She's your daughter too, Rafa. Of course she's going to know Spanish," You whisper and he smiles through blinking back some tears.

You put her back in her crib, though it is clear that Rafael doesn't want to be far away from either of you right now. As you close the door to her room, you walk back out to where he is still frozen in place, "I missed so much," He mumbles, putting his face in his hands. In that moment, all the anger and the built-up hatred fizzles away. You sit beside him and glance up at him, "What's two years gone when you have so many more ahead?"

He furrows his eyebrows as you smile, "Regardless of what you've done, we're family. The three of us," You say and he nods, "But only if you don't leave again," He shakes his head quickly, "Never again. She will know me...I promise,"

His brows furrow as he tries to keep his composure, "What's wrong?" "You did all of this alone" "Have you met the people I work with? There has not been one moment that I've been alone," You whisper as he glances between your eyes and your lips.

"There was not one moment in these past years that you weren't on my mind, mi vida," He begins to lean in and the years and lost time begin to slip away as all you can think about is his lips about to kiss yours

[snapeysister]

Musings of a binge addict...

Now that I've finally finished watching all Law&Order Organized Crime seasons // all the last SVU episodes and am up to date like everyone else, I feel strangely bereft... 🫥

The addictive (and best) part about binging a series, just like a fanfic, is that you plunge yourself head over heals into a parallel universe and let your imagination live and thrive there as long as the show goes on, and get used to it. Whenever you swim to the surface, so to speak, to breath a fresh breath of reality, it is only to dive further inside and continue the ride. And then you arrive at the shore eventually, and either the series/fic is over and done with, which is painful but alright because you get closure - or you are caught in a waiting queue, looking for the next episode and waiting and waiting, not knowing what is happening to your new "imaginary friends" who you used to "follow up with" every day, and terribly missing them.😒

That's how I feel with OC and SVU now - sitting and waiting for Elliott and Ayanna and Olivia and all of them to reappear at the horizon (with OC not even clear yet when the next season will be filmed) and feeling "left out", as strange as it sounds. After having been immersed in what seemed to be one neverending ride (25 years and 2 series stretched over only a few months! Delicious damnit) it's...sobering. With most episodes of the last years still too early to rewatch because I remember every frickin' detail... 😬

With SVU it is the old seasons now which I have still left out. I dread the day I will have gone through all of them. With OC though... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Any ideas for distraction?

[squadmuse]

SFW ALPHABET

THE RAFAEL BARBA EDITION

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

It takes a while for Rafael to open up and be truly affectionate with you. He’s slower than most, but still a gentleman and spoils you whenever he can. As your relationship progresses however and as Rafael feels more and more comfortable with you & your relationship together, then he is extremely affectionate towards you and absolutely cherishes you. Cuddles, kisses, hand holding etc. you name it, when Rafael treats you like this, you’re The One for him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You and Rafael click quickly as friends and have a great friendship together. You’re an Assistant United States Attorney while he is an Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan, and can usually be found in each other’s offices having lunch and a catch up. He loves that you’re snarky and sassy like him, and unafraid to stick up for yourself & victims and survivors. Rafael is a great friend to have, he’s always a phone call away, with the greatest advice and shoulder to cry on if needed. He loves surprising you with tickets to a Broadway show, museum tours etc.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Rafael isn’t the cuddliest at the start of the relationship but he melts easily after a while with your hugs and cuddles. He isn’t used to affection unless from his Mami or Abuelita. Rafael loves hugging you from behind, cuddling on the couch or in his home study & office after hours.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Only when Rafael knows for certain that you are The One 100% will he want to settle down fully. He didn’t have the nicest home life due to his father and has had his heart broken by people he loved & trusted. As he has been a bachelor for years, Rafael is adept at cooking & cleaning but takes his laundry to the dry cleaners. His house is pristine, but he longs for the day that you & him are married with a child playing with their toys in the living room.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Rafael is a gentleman, somewhat old fashioned yet distant at first so he would likely break up with you face to face. He thinks it rude to do it over the phone or to ghost someone especially if they’re someone like you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

You and Rafael are together for a while before he decides to propose marriage, as he wanted to be certain you were not going to break his heart or leave. You’ve moved in together after a couple of years and Rafael knows you’re not bothered by his wariness & past. Once he proposes, you marry within the year in a quiet close knit ceremony at the Catholic church nearby as a tribute to his Mami & Abuelita.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

As he was abused physically and emotionally by his own father and had his heart broken before, Rafael is gentle and kind towards you. He might be less so at the start, accidentally screwing up or putting work before you, but after a while Rafael becomes an open book to you. He’ll never ever raise a hand or fist to you, and he never curses or swears at you, but sometimes he does snap or bite when he’s stressed.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Rafael hates admitting it but he loves hugs, he’s so touch starved and loves getting to collapse into your arms after a long stressful day. He’s very gentle with his hugs, rubbing your back as you rest your head in the crook of his neck. Sometimes he hums a song at night.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

As said before, Rafael doesn’t say I Love You for a while but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t show his love for you. He struggles opening up, showing himself truly and being vulnerable with anyone, and when he gets to that point of being vulnerable & comfortable, then he says it quickly and doesn’t stop saying it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Rafael does get jealous but it is down to the insecurities he has himself and not about you, he’s been dumped for other guys before and he knows how incredible you are that Rafael always wonders — why did you choose him of all people to be with, what is so loveable about him? Rafael will busy himself with work more often when he’s feeling like that, but he also gets possessive to an extent and makes sure to let you know how much he loves you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Rafael Barba aka Makeout King. He is almost timid at first, scared that he might’ve crossed the line when he kisses you that first time. But his kisses are electrifying, intoxicating and downright sweet at the same time. When he’s fully comfortable with you, Rafael can’t stop kissing you and will kiss anywhere he can on you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Rafael doesn’t have much if any experience with kids, especially babies. But he isn’t against them, and he loves getting to teach them things, whether it is some basic Spanish, a fairy tale book or some random facts. Rafael worries about hurting children, having seen how his own father acted and behaved. After a while, Rafael does get more comfortable around younger children as you have nieces, nephews and godchildren that all end up calling him Tío Rafa.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Rafael hates mornings, and only brightens up when you suggest showering together to save time… although you sometimes end up rushing out the door after too long in the shower together. In the kitchen, Rafael makes a beeline for the professional coffee maker that you bought as a birthday present for him and makes a very strong coffee for himself and a cappuccino for yourself. Usually, Rafael has prepared his briefcase & outfit the night before. You make sure he takes some actual lunch with him also.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nighttimes are spent together either in Rafael’s study (he brings his work home now that he has you, not staying extremely late at the office) and you end up working together or talking about work, life and each other. Rafael gives you a massage while you pour him a small glass of his favourite scotch.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Rafael is very slow to open up and reveal things about himself. You met Lucia by accident, as you had dropped by his office at Hogan Place to talk/argue about a case that each of you were certain to have jurisdiction over, and there she was when you greeted him with a “Rafi amor…” - needless to say Lucia hated that Rafael had been hiding you away from her. You try so hard to make Rafael realise that his traumatic past doesn’t define him or who he is.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Rafael is usually very patient with you, and especially with you compared to others. He tries so hard to not get angry or even irritated by you, but when he’s had a bad day at work or having one, every single thing anyone does seems to annoy him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Rafael has a giant brain and incredible memory, but sometimes when he’s stressed out with case after case, he does end up with things slipping his mind and he hates it. Rafael is also able to remember things you’ve said you have liked in passing or in conversation, even months back but he remembers it and buys you whatever it was.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Rafael’s favorite moment in your relationship was when he brought you to his Mami, Lucia’s home for the first time for Sunday lunch & dinner. You and his Mami got along instantly, and he was amazed at how quickly his Mami liked you as she was usually overprotective of him. It was that day, seeing you laugh and smile with his Mami, that Rafael knew you were The One and that you fit in perfectly with his family.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Rafael is very protective of you, and would have an armed escort following you around if he could. He’s had people blackmail him in the past and death threats against him, but Rafael doesn’t worry or care about himself, his main focus is you. Rafael likes knowing how protective you are of him in return, how much you love and look out for him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Rafael puts a lot of effort into dates, anniversaries and gifts, only the best will do for you in his eyes. Both of you work as attorneys and have long hours, but Rafael will spoil you with an anniversary trip to Gstaad or The Bahamas, a nice bottle of champagne or wine, a nice pair of Christian Louboutin heels etc. Every day however, he does his best to be an excellent boyfriend or fiancé or husband and enjoys just being with you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Rafael can get hyper-focused on work and ends up working himself thin and bare. At first in the relationship, he would prioritise his Mami & Abuelita over you and while it didn’t bother you, he did it a lot until he realised that you were upset. He works long hours too, and sometimes your hours don’t match up or your vacations either and Rafael is a man on a mission when it comes to his career and will at times, prioritise that.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Rafael Barba is very vain. He has his hair and beard styled & trimmed perfectly, has complimenting colours in his outfits with ties matching pocket squares etc. and he hates it when he starts going grey (but slowly comes to love it too when you let him know how hot you find it)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

When Rafael has let you into his life, his heart and soul, he feels very incomplete without you there and wonders how he became such a man — but he realises it is because how he loved you, you are & were his soulmate.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Rafael loves taking you dancing, and shows off his move to you on the dance floor. It helps his anxiety and insecurity by showing off, doing fancy little moves to impress you.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Rafael doesn’t like anyone who is demanding, too high maintenance or clingy, and he doesn’t like abusers or alcoholics. Also anyone who doesn’t respect his position, his Mami & Abuelita is out the door ASAP.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Rafael can be found some nights asleep at the desk in his study, and you always wake him up as you know he needs to sleep in bed because of his back. He also loves that you have a ton of cosy blankets & quilts on the bed, it seems to help him sleep much easier.

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 62: The Little Big Words

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @abzidabzy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @hellofutur​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel @rebeccapineapple @duckybird101 @caplanbuckybarnes ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message

"Didn't I say no working?" Montserrat thought it was too early to be this kind of mad but Rafael had found a way each day since they left the hospital. Each morning he would find a different way to do something he shouldn't be doing; today's attempt was trying to work on a case in the living room.

"Did you?" Rafael didn't even attempt to sound surprised by Montserrat's presence and reaction to him. He was flipping through pages on the couch.

Montserrat walked up behind the couch and reached over Rafael to take the papers out of his hands.

"Hey!" He went to reach for them when his side said absolutely not. "Ow…" he jerked back in place.

"It's like you want to be stupid on purpose," Montserrat shook her head at him. She skimmed a few of the lines on the first paper in her hands. "Wait, is this the Avery Jordan case we dealt with months ago?"

"Yeah," Rafael said, struggling to get up on his own. He refused to let Montserrat do that for him. She already did so much for him, this one was on him, one way or another.

"I've been so negligent keeping up with her," Montserrat said, scrunching her nose. "She's how far along now?"

"About 7 months," Rafael said, coming around the couch slowly. He was putting his best efforts not to place his hand over his injury. It had become like a custom that he really wanted to break. It would be less of a reminder of what happened. "Her trial's finally got a date."

"Finally," scoffed Montserrat. "Meanwhile, this woman's been living a constant hell."

"Which I'm trying to put an end to," Rafael said, plucking his papers out of Montserrat's hands. "But you won't let me."

"Nice try," Montserrat said, promptly taking back what he stole. "But you're not working until you get an 'all clear'. So put it away before I start hiding them."

"A challenge I'm more than willing to take."

"Stop," warned Montserrat, pointing at the stupid grin on Rafel's face. She hated it. He was smug at all hours and it was getting on her last nerve. Her scotch bottle was almost done and it had only been two weeks since she bought them.

"Buenos dias," Rafael said promptly, leaning over to place a kiss on her lips. "Breakfast?" He moved around her and headed for the kitchen.

"I hate you," Montserrat nodded to herself and followed after him, ignoring his very proud "No you don't".

It was an hour after breakfast — and more bickering about the things Rafael should and shouldn't be doing — that someone knocked on the door. Montserrat practically stalked up to the door and opened it up. The sight of the young waitress Clara took her by surprise.

"Clara?" Montserrat blinked at the woman.

Clara sheepishly waved. "Hi, morning. I'm sorry for being early — I have class later. Were you guys asleep?"

Montserrat scoffed. "Yeah, he's a bat," she said, nodding back to Rafael who rolled his eyes in response. "He doesn't sleep. Come in."

"Thanks." Clara walked in slowly, both hands on the top of her purse — a sign of nervousness. "How are you feeling?" She asked Rafael.

"Good, thanks," he replied, "I'm better than what everyone else thinks."

"Don't start," Montserrat warned him. She looked at Clara suddenly. "Are you going to stay here?"

"Uh, well, I suppose —"

"Great," Montserrat nodded, "Because I need a break."

"What?" Clara watched the redhead rush over to the coffee table to grab her purse.

"Thanks so much for this!" Montserrat exclaimed. "What do you say — 17.50 an hour?"

"Montserrat," Rafael deadpanned the woman he so called his girlfriend. The title was in jeopardy.

Montserrat stared at him thoughtfully then looked at Clara again. "For your trouble…$25.50."

"Huh?" Clara blinked.

"Montserrat!" exclaimed Rafael.

"Oh, pipe down," snapped Montserrat. "I need a break from you. Your mother was right. You're driving me nuts."

"As are you to me," Rafael promptly replied. "Have a nice break."

Montserrat smiled sarcastically sweetly at him. "Likewise." She left the place without looking back.

Clara watched after Montserrat, having no idea what just happened. "Um, are you guys okay?"

Rafael laughed. "Yeah, don't worry. She's right, we do need a break. We're driving each other insane."

Clara still had no idea what to make of that. "I thought you guys were good…?"

"We are," nodded Rafael, "We're not afraid to tell each other our truths. It's against our programming. She has a big mouth, I can't stop countering. Nothing else."

Clara nodded slowly. I guess that's a good kind of relationship…

She would decide later.

"So, what's going on?" Rafael asked her. "Are you okay?" He'd given Clara his address in case she needed something in the future. After what happened, he owed her a lot.

"Sort of," Clara said, moving along as he proposed to, "I stopped by the precinct taking care of your case."

Immediately, Rafael knew why Clara was there. He was eternally grateful Montserrat left.

Clara didn't notice his expression changing. She was too busy being confused. "And I spoke to Sergeant Benson. She said the case has gone cold."

"Yeah…" Rafael said slowly, calculating Clara as much as he could. He was sure the meds he was taking were causing him to be slower. He couldn't be exactly sure what Clara was going to say next.

"After she explained what that meant, I thought I should come see how you're doing with the news," Clara said, offering him a small smile.

It was fairly quick how much guilt settled on Rafael's shoulders. He already carried another load for lying to Montserrat about it. Up until now, all she knew was that the case was simply going slow. He offered Olivia the chance to tell Montserrat himself that the case was "officially" a cold case.

"I'm…I'm okay," he told Clara. "You don't have to worry about me, Clara. I'm sure you have a lot more things to worry about given your career choice. Lots of exams…?" He looked at Clara until she smiled.

"Midterms," she corrected.

"There we go. You have enough on your plate."

Clara's shoulders rose together. "Maybe but I can't just forget about this either. You're sort of like my first real patient. It's my duty to make sure you're feeling okay."

"I appreciate the sentiment, and believe me you have done your obligations with me. I'm still here." Rafael smiled when Clara chuckled. She seemed far younger when she did. It was nice. "Look, you should just focus on your midterms and your work. I'm okay."

Clara wasn't entirely convinced. "But can't they do anything else about this?"

"I will be looking into it," Rafael lied swiftly and easily. "But if you need anything else from me, please feel free to call or stop by. Montserrat told me you're not working at the coffee shop, anymore?"

Clara shook her head, smiling sadly. "Too traumatic. I got a job at a little restaurant two blocks from there. Maybe you'd like to stop by. It's Chinese."

Rafael chuckled. "You don't say? We love that."

Clara chuckled. "Yeah, well, you can stop by anytime you'd like."

"We will," Rafael promised, "Once I'm out of house arrest." As it turned out, Montserrat was a lot stricter than he previously thought.

~0~

Montserrat picked at the plate in front of her, making a mental note to pick up strawberries before leaving. Across from her, Kara laughed at Montserrat's unfortunate tales.

"It's really not funny," Montserrat said, picking up her fork to try the pasta Sonny had graciously made for them for lunch.

"It's funny that you thought this wouldn't happen," Kara said with a shrug. "You've been staying with Rafael for, what, a week?"

"Two weeks,"Montserrat corrected. "Two weeks straight and I discovered we are complete opposites. He is a morning person — a very early person — and I'm normal. He likes his coffee as black as the frikin night and I'm…normal."

Kara laughed again. They even heard Sonny laugh to himself in the kitchen.

"Shut up, Carisi," called Montserrat, leaning back in her seat, "And where's the sides you promised?"

"Oh calm down," Kara waved a hand at her best friend to get her attention. "You're just learning more about Rafael."

"Well if he doesn't stop showing me so many new things about him, I might kill him," Montserrat said, scrunching her nose.

Kara laughed, even more delighted now that Sonny was coming around with a fresh new serving of pasta. "You should follow my lead," Kara said to Montserrat, "Mine just likes to cook."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. Kara grinned up at Sonny and happily accepted his kiss.

"Hey genius," Montserrat called, "your boyfriend's about to spill blazing hot pasta on your lap."

The way Sonny was holding the sizzling pan was indeed threatening to drop the pasta on Kara's lap.

"Whoops! Sorry, doll," Sonny said, quickly dumping the pasta on Kara's plate. "Little distracted…"

"I'll say," Montserrat shook her head. "Can I get more for take out? I need to bring Rafael something back."

"Thought he was pissing you off," Kara reminded.

"He is," Montserrat nodded. "But he still needs to eat."

Kara had to laugh. "You're ridiculous. Both of you. But you do have to learn how to live with each other if you're actually living together."

"We're not living together," Montserrat said quickly, sounding defensive about it too. "I'm just staying with him until he's okay."

"So you're coming back?"

Montserrat deadpanned her best friend for a long minute. "Please, try to be more disappointed about it."

Kara chuckled.

Sonny came back around with a to-go dish for Montserrat. "I think Kara's right," he said, ignoring Montserrat muttering 'of course'. "You need to learn how to live together. It's very different from just staying the night to being together for 2 weeks straight."

Montserrat's shoulders slumped. "I guess." Her hand tugged at a few of her curls. "I don't know, I guess I'm just not used to this kind of stuff anymore. Plus, none of my boyfriends have ever been shot before. I'm still coming down from that whole experience."

Sonny and Kara agreed with that statement.

"You said you talked to Olivia today, no?" Kara asked.

Montserrat nodded, her whole demeanor changing again. "I went before coming here." She let out a long sigh. "The case has gone cold."

Kara's eyes widened and she immediately looked at Sonny. The latter nodded. "That's terrible," Kara gawked. "Why?"

"The guy never showed his face and neither Rafael nor Clara can identify anything special about him," Montserrat explained. Her fork went in circles in her pasta. "Liv said they're trying but there's only so much we can do, right?"

"We are trying," Sonny assured her. "Sooner or later we'll get something."

Montserrat managed a little smile. What would she do without her partner? "Anyways, I should just focus on making sure Rafael's okay in the meantime." And learn how to manage my overall anxiety. Montserrat supposed those were really big things she should work towards.

~0~

Montserrat's trip to SVU was a complete bust since Olivia had not been around and no one else seemed to know what was going on, she didn't blame them. They were short staffed again and with new cases coming in every day. On her way back, she got a call from her father asking her to come over. When she tried to explain she was heading back to Rafael's place, her father insisted that it would just be for a moment. Either Montserrat went over, or he would find a way to her instead.

Montserrat arrived within fifteen minutes at her father's home after that. She certainly wasn't expecting to find her brother there as well, along with her two nieces.

"Don't look at me, he was just babysitting," Gael said when Montserrat threw the idea that this had been a set up. Of course when her five year old niece Ivannah came running up to her, Montserrat forgot all about it in favor of the little girl.

"Auntie Montse! You're here!" Ivannah very easily jumped into her aunt's arms.

Montserrat laughed lightly at the excited girl. "Well, if everyone greeted me like this, I wouldn't mind."

"What, your new boyfriend is tired of you already?" Gael smirked.

Montserrat deadpanned her older brother, keeling her not so nice words to herself solely for the five year old in the room. "Dad, what is this?"

"It's just a coincidence, I promise," Thomas said with his hands raised in front of him. "He stopped by with the girls afterwards."

"Yeah! Are you going to stay with us and grandpa!?" Ivannah bounced in Montserrat's arms to get the woman's attention.

"Uh, no sweetie, sorry," Montserrat gave a light pat on Ivannah's back. "I've got to head back soon. Dad, what did you need?"

"You weren't answering your phone…" Thomas said, giving his daughter a sharp look. "I got worried."

"I'm sorry. I've been a bit busy," Montserrat said, "But we're okay. Rafael's doing better now. He just…can't move a lot…"

"Would he be okay if we visited some time?" Thomas saw the way his daughter stiffened, alarmed with his question.

"What?" Montserrat was speechless.

Gael laughed at her. "You're that afraid we'll embarrass you, huh?"

Montserrat sent her brother another glare. "Shut it!"

"Dad, can you stop being so mean to aunt Montserrat?" Juliana walked out from the hallway. She came straight to Montserrat and hugged her aunt. "Hi auntie."

"Hi there sweetheart," Montserrat greeted the teenager with a warm smile. "How are you?"

"Okay," Juliana shrugged.

Montserrat playfully rolled her eyes — it was the universal teenage response. "What about Abby?"

"We joined Key Club," Juliana said, "Getting volunteer hours. It looks great on college applications."

"That's great. Are you two—"

"Is it true you have a boyfriend now?" Juliana cut her aunt right off.

Montserrat blinked at the girl then went back to glaring at Gael. "You really have the biggest mouth in the world — no, galaxy."

Gael smirked. "You told dad I was dating Marlene Forbes!"

"Settle down you two," Thomas said, motioning his children to stop yelling.

"So, aunt Montse, do you have a boyfriend?" Juliana asked again, more curious than ever.

Montserrat sighed and gave in. "Yes. Thanks to your dad, I bet the whole of New York knows it by now."

"Give me half an hour," Gael said with a mischievous grin.

"Dad," Montserrat called, leading Gael to snicker.

"Go sit down," Thomas ordered the two. "And give me my granddaughter before you influence her the wrong way."

"No! I want to stay with my aunt Montse!" Ivannah clung her arms around Montserrat's neck.

Montserrat walked over to the couch and sat down with Ivannah on her lap. Juliana scurried to her aunt's side and plopped down on her knees.

"So who is it!?" She leaned on Montserrat's arm, absolutely eager to find out the answer. "Do we know him!? Is he a stranger!? Where'd you meet!?"

"You seem a bit too knowledgeable here," Montserrat remarked and gently pushed Juliana back. "Maybe you should tell us if you're seeing anyone."

"Not until she's 30," Gael said promptly. Juliana rolled her eyes at her father. "And in all seriousness, Montserrat, I'm happy to hear Rafael's doing better. Also glad he's the one you're dating."

Montserrat scoffed. "Please, you just like him because he put up the 5 grand for your bail."

"Not true," Gael said, shrugging. "It's a contributing factor but not a big one. I like his attitude."

"I honestly don't know if that's a good or bad thing," Montserrat said, shaking her head.

"Wait," Juliana said suddenly, scrunching her nose, "I remember that guy. He works with you and aunt Casey. He used to make you mad a lot."

Montserrat scoffed again. "'Used to'? He still does. Eighty percent of the time."

"Bet that's what he says about you." Gael walked up to Montserrat and gently took his daughter out of her arms to carry her himself. "The guy gets s-h-o-t and you're the nurse? Poor guy."

"Gael!" Montserrat exclaimed.

"Oh my God," Juliana made a horrified face, "Aunt Montse, is he okay?"

Montserrat shot her brother a look for his loose lips. "You want to keep going while your daughters are here?"

Gael motioned Juliana to head for the hallway. He then set Ivannah down and told her to go wash her hands for dinner.

"No, wait," Juliana said despite getting up from the couch, "Aunt Montse, is your boyfriend okay?"

"Yes, thankfully yes," Montserrat assured her.

"But was he like, shot-shot…?" Juliana leaned closer to her aunt's side, "As in like a lot of blood and—"

"Juliana, go help your sister wash her hands, now," Gael ordered her.

Juliana rolled her eyes. "As if I won't find out sooner or later," she told Gael before ushering Ivannah into the hallway.

"Great going," Montserrat turned on her brother, "You and your big mouth."

"It slipped," Gael frowned. "You think I wanted my daughter to know that somebody went and shot your boyfriend?"

"I'd believe you if you didn't keep saying it out loud!"

Gael raised his hands in front of him. Montserrat shook her head at him.

"I need to get back," Montserrat said, "Dad?"

"Yeah! Here!" Thomas made way to the kitchen. Montserrat glanced at her brother helplessly then followed after Thomas. He had come up to the kitchen counter where a paper bag stood. "I know that you're probably stressed and still coming out from all that's happened so I thought you could take some ready-to-go meals."

"What?" Montserrat blinked. Thomas motioned her to take a look inside the bag. When she did, she saw a couple trays with sweet smelling food inside, many of which she recognized from when she was a child. "Dad, you made all these?"

"I had the time," Thomas smiled at her, "And I figured that's what you don't have right now. Take 'em."

"Where's my cooked dinner?" grumbled Gael.

"Oh be quiet," Thomas said, "Your sister needs the help. And listen," he looked at Montserrat, "When Rafael is all better, I think it would be great if we could all sit down over some dinner."

"Oh, Dad…" Montserrat breathed in, "That's…that's a while away…"

"I know," Thomas said, assuring her that he didn't intend on that dinner being tomorrow. "But I want you to have the idea in your head so it's not a complete surprise when I force you to do it later on."

Montserrat's smile waned the more her father went on about their future plans. She couldn't be more grateful when he has to go tend to a phone call from work. Only then was she able to breathe again…until Gael spoke up.

"What's with you?" He eyed Montserrat's demeanor with bemusement. "Don't tell me you're that nervous about dinner?"

"No, I — it's not that," Montserrat sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this." And even then it took her another minute to be able to explain. "Rafael and I are in a bit of a…struggle."

"Struggle how?"

"Struggle as in we are close to not standing each other," Montserrat said, her face scrunching, "He is getting on my last nerves. He's as stubborn as they come. He doesn't want to stop working, he doesn't want to take his medication when he should and he wants to keep moving around when he should be resting. I'm so close to grabbing duct tape."

Gael smiled for a moment before the laugh won out. Montserrat did not appreciate it.

"I shouldn't have told you anything," she muttered. She moved to leave Gael alone but he grabbed her arm and gently pushed her back to her place.

"It's just funny," he told her, "Because I bet that's exactly what he's saying about you right now."

"Me?" Montserrat pointed at herself, indignant of such an accusation. "Why? I'm helping him."

"Except by the way you describe him, and the little that I know about him, it sounds like he's the kind of person who doesn't like help. He's not used to it."

Montserrat lowered her head. Those were some familiar thoughts she had herself a while back. It just went to hell when Rafael was shot and he was close to death.

"Montserrat, ever think of just being a bit more laid back nurse?"

"I can't be laid back with this," she argued, "He has a bullet wound, Gael. He just can't do some stuff. Period."

"Okay, but working from home isn't exactly lethal—"

"Physically no but mentally?"

"Have you ever considered that without his work, all Rafael has on his to-do list is think about what happened to him?" Gael knew the answer as his sister ducked her head. "What happened to him was pretty traumatic. I bet he doesn't want to think about it so he wants to bury himself in work."

"I don't want him to think about that stuff either," Montserrat mumbled. She more than anyone knew how moments like those could consume the mind.

"Find alternatives," Gael suggested, "And just take it easy. Coddling is no good either. Bet you would have less stress too if you weren't such a stickler right now."

Montserrat deadpanned her brother. "Gael."

"Living together is no joke. You have to compromise somewhere," Gael patted Montserrat's arm.

"We're not living together, I'm just…staying over until he's okay…"

"So you're living together right now," Gael concluded, "Compromise is key. Trust me."

Montserrat felt like she had no choice, not when Gael made sense. Maybe her nurse-mode was too strong right now and that's not what Rafael needed right now. He certainly didn't need the constant bickering.

"Thanks, Gael," she ultimately said to her brother. For once, he was just helping her out.

"Anytime," Gael said, "I already told you I like the guy and not—" he pointed at Montserrat, "—because he helped complete my bail money. Think it's about damn time someone puts you in your place every so often." Montserrat shoved him back, but no one could deny the smile that marked her face. Gael fixed his crinkled shirt with a laugh. "Just saying."

"Well stop saying more stuff," Montserrat playfully berated him and after a moment she added: "But thanks for your help."

Gael nodded and brought a hand over Montserrat's arm. "Of course. And I can't wait for that dinner."

"Mm," Montserrat's brow raised. "That's still up in the air." She patted her brother's cheek and side stepped around him.

~0~

On the way back to Rafael's, Montserrat couldn't stop thinking about her guilt. She felt absolutely horrible by the time she unlocked the door. She stepped inside quietly, immediately scoping the living room out. She didn't immediately see Rafael so she placed the bag of food on the coffee table. Rafael came out of the kitchen with a mug in hand soon after that.

"Hey, you're back," he remarked, his smirk widened and present, "Get your break? What, too short?"

Montserrat felt her stomach churn. You're horrible. She felt horrible. "I-I'm sorry, I'll be right back." She hurried into the hallway, leaving Rafael puzzled.

Had he said something wrong? For some reason, he felt like he needed to go check on her.

~0~

Montserrat had dumped her bag on the dresser and paced back and forth for a bit. "Calm down, calm down, you're making things worse!" She hit her head with her hands and forced herself to stop. "Get changed, and go out and talk."

She needed to follow her own advice before things got worse. Things couldn't get worse. She couldn't ruin things, not when her feelings had grown tenfold.

Her heart already hurt just thinking that she could end up pushing Rafael away from her. Was this self sabotage?

Dr. Weslin had already mentioned that a little after Montserrat admitted to being in a new relationship. Self-sabotage was a form of escapism in which victims often tried hard to push away people for fear that things wouldn't work out for them.

"No, no, no, no," Montserrat told herself over and over. She headed for her drawer and pulled out a t-shirt for sleep, along with a pair of pants. She set them both on top of the dresser then grabbed her own shirt from the bottom. She was pulling the strap of her bra when the bedroom door opened.

Rafael had come inside to check in on Montserrat. She whirled away from him, clutching her shirt against her chest.

"Montserrat! Sorry!" In his attempt to turn away immediately, Rafael felt his side communicate once again that he wasn't ready for which movements. "Argh!" His hand moved over his side while the other sustained his balance on the doorknob.

Montserrat instinctively turned back to now see his back, hunched over with his injuries. "Raf — what's wrong!?"

"Fine! Fine!" He waved a hand at her to stay put. "I'm sorry for coming in without knocking. I thought — you seemed upset — I didn't know —"

Montserrat felt her face warm up and quickly turned herself away from him. "It's my fault," she muttered.

"What? No it's not, you're…" Rafael looked over his shoulder and saw Montserrat had turned away again. He was going to do the same, by God he really was, but something on her back caught his eye.

At first glance it would be like a normal mark on skin — almost an odd birthmark — but with his experience he knew well enough that it wasn't the case. And he just couldn't help it. The instinct to protect overwhelmed him…along with a familiar anger.

"Montserrat, what's that on your back?" Even when her back was to him, Rafael saw the way Montserrat's body stiffened.

"I-I need to get changed now," she said, or rather sounded like she was pleading with him to forget about it.

Rafael couldn't do that — they would literally have to finish the job and kill him for that to happen.

Montserrat let out a light gasp when she felt a finger gently graze her lower back. Rafael had come up behind her to see the mark better.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked quietly.

Montserrat wasn't sure if it was better that he didn't sound angry at her for it because the alternative was that he felt sorry for her. She swallowed hard. "It wasn't important to any of our conversations…you already know what happened…"

"But this is different — this is a literal scar from…from what?" Rafael didn't want to think about the movements that led to such a mark on Montserrat's skin. It was medium-sized and oddly shaped like whatever Montserrat was pressed against had been broken in some way and ended up in a sharp piece. The pain of something like that had to have been unbearable…

"There really is no point in discussing it anymore," Montserrat said, raising her arms to bring her shirt over her head.

Rafael was incredibly sorry for it but he pulled her arms down. He couldn't just let it go, not this time. "Montserrat," his voice was stern, "what is this?"

"It's just a mark, what else?" Montserrat whirled around, clutching her shirt to her chest. "None of that experience was pleasurable. Did you think a scar would be?" As soon as the words left her mouth and she heard them, she knew she'd been harsh.

Yet, Rafael didn't look the least bit phased by her attitude. He seemed used to that kind of stuff, and he was. It just made Montserrat feel even worse.

Instead of speaking, his fingers hooked under her chin and tilted her head up at him. Her breath hitched when his other hand came around her bare back, stopping precisely over her scar. His hand dropped from her chin as he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes shut.

Montserrat felt herself calm with his warmth against her. Her eyes fluttered close the more she focused on them and their closeness. It didn't even matter the way she was, her hard attitude — Rafael made her forget about it all. And without even having to speak too.

His talent is undeniable. She felt herself start to smile.

"You're okay," Rafael finally spoke a few minutes later, his voice quiet and soft. "You're here with me. You're safe."

Montserrat opened her eyes to see him already looking at her. The fondness in his eyes almost made her break down there and then.

Rafael offered her a little smile of encouragement. Believe me, he said. "There's no more danger." Not on his watch. He'd take another bullet for her anytime, anywhere.

Montserrat actually felt an ache in her heart when his fingers lifted off her back. She longed for his touch again, even if it was over the scars she would rather forget about. He could make even that seem pointless.

"I'm going to get you something to drink, okay?" Rafael said, giving her a small kiss on her cheek. "Just relax and finish getting changed."

Montserrat nodded silently and watched him step back until he turned to leave. Something was caught in her throat and the fact he was about to leave her made it feel even more urgent. His touch, his wordless help, his fondness and his care — she wanted all that. She wanted him.

"I love you," the words tumbled out of her mouth.

Rafael froze in his spot. The first thing that popped into his head was the blaring idea that he had absolutely heard wrong. Those little words — those little big words — had been a long lost notion to him. The last person who said that to him had promised so many things with that confession and in the end, she left him aside for an allegedly better man.

But the stretching silence helped warm him up to the idea that he wasn't insane. He had heard right which meant Montserrat was waiting for him to react. Silence probably wasn't viewed as a good lead.

He turned around and met her nervous eyes. She felt nervous and almost sick standing in her spot, still clutching her shirt to her chest. She was at her most vulnerable, and yet she'd somehow mustered the courage to say words she didn't think she would ever be able to say again.

Without saying anything, Rafael strode back (as much as he could in his condition) and slid his hands over Montserrat's cheeks to kiss her. He tilted her head up to deepen their kiss, not wanting her to get away for anything.

Montserrat wouldn't consider such a thing. She brought an arm around Rafael's neck, pulling him down. At the same time, Rafael lowered a hand down to her waist, his fingers pressing against her sides. Little by little, they traveled around her back until they splayed against her skin. Everything about her was so soft and warm — it was a whole temptation that Rafael wasn't sure he could resist.

He parted from her lips enough to speak but kept his forehead pressed against hers. "I love you too," he whispered.

Montserrat's breath hitched. Her heart raced about a thousand beats in just a minute. "You mean that?"

Rafael smiled at her. "Yes."

There was a moment where Montserrat wondered if this was real. "I'm — are you sure?"

Rafael had to laugh. "Yes. Why do you keep asking?"

"Because I've been so mean," Montserrat sighed, drawing away from him.

"Mean?" Rafael gave her a look. "What are you talking about?" He was close to laughing.

With a sigh, Montserrat pulled her t-shirt over her head to finish getting dressed. "I've been snarky and just plain ole mean to you while you're, you know…" She made a gesture at his side. "I'm sorry."

As much as Rafael wanted to laugh, and he did, the fact Montserrat looked pretty serious about the matter left him confused. "Again, what are you talking about? I'm okay. I know I'm a pain in the ass. Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long without murdering me."

"Raf, I'm being serious," Montserrat crossed her arms. "You're hurt. I'm supposed to be helping you—"

"And you are," Rafael said, smiling out of sheer confusion. "You're doing more than you should. I told you from the start that you didn't even have to stay with me."

"Don't say crazy stuff," Montserrat rolled her eyes at him.

"Then you shouldn't either," Rafael countered, "Do you know why I like you so much? Why I love you so much?"

Montserrat faltered. "Why…?"

"Because I can't get enough of your personality. Where I'm mean — and I am mean — you're more. You always have something to say, especially when I say something first. You don't let me get away with anything. You keep me on my toes and I love that."

"You do?"

Rafael felt like this was a conversation they already had at some point. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? It would be boring if this was just one sided." He gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Where is this coming from?"

Montserrat drew in a small breath. "Just…thinking…" She gave a light shrug of her shoulders. "I felt awful for how I left this morning. I was so mean and—"

"Tired? You've been taking care of me non-stop. I assume you're tired, Montse. You're right. You need breaks. No one in their right mind could be my nurse and survive…except for you."

"Oh, shut up…"

"It's true. You're the only one who can handle me and keep me in my place," Rafael insisted, grinning. "You might find this hard to believe but there are women out there who think I'm a little scary."

Montserrat laughed on the spot. "You don't say?"

"Yeah, I don't get it…" Rafael shrugged, "But in truth, I'm scared of you."

"Stop," Montserrat pointed at him, barely holding her next laugh in. "You're trying to be funny with me."

"Not right now, promise. It's just the truth. This would be a very difficult relationship if things weren't so easy."

"You think this is all easy?"

Rafael chuckled. "For the most part, yeah. I didn't have that before — now I know what it's like and I can't get enough of it. You gotta believe me here." He took Montserrat's hands in his and squeezed them. "Do I need to make a case or something?"

Montserrat scoffed. "Nu-uh, you're not going to use me as an excuse to keep working."

"Well then I hope it stuck now," Rafael said, gently tugging her close to him. "Would you like some dinner then?"

Montserrat nodded. "I'd like that." She made to leave but Rafael pulled her right back into a kiss. Her squeak barely made it out before his lips crashed against hers.

It took her a second to catch up with him and even then Rafael was in control. She felt his fingers subtly creep under her shirt, gently crawling around her back. He'd found a new favorite place for sure and she didn't have any protest. She could stay like that forever…

But she also needed air.

She parted slightly, taking in an immediate breath, and blinked up at him. "Dinner?"

Rafael remembered his idea and had no choice but to nod. "Yeah." He pulled his hands off Montserrat and passed a few fingers through her hair. "Are you okay?"

Montserrat gave a nod of her head. "I will be now."

Rafael loved to hear that. "I love you."

Montserrat felt her heart skip. She bit her bottom lip, growing excited in just a few seconds. "I love you too." The words were such a novelty to her that she wanted to say them over and over, get her tongue used to them.

Rafael could see the joy practically radiate from Montserrat's eyes. He always wanted to see that, no matter what the reason was. She deserved to be happy. No one had any right to take that feeling away from her, not her happiness nor her sense of security.

[specialvalentinesunit]

[malfromsvu]

someone let me know if law and order is canon in the 9-1-1 universe because I have some lore bubbling...