#radiowithnoreception

[radiowithnoreception]

I have been debating writing this for a while, but I think someone might need to hear it. I needed it, but didn’t know where to find the answer.

2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Part of me was embarrassed. I thought this was the man I was going to marry. We had a date picked and were planning the honeymoon, we were buying a house, we were discussing when we would start trying for kids. Then things started feeling different. He kept going back on his word and was putting work first more often. He started hiding his texts from me and wouldn’t call his family if I was around. Things didn’t feel right.

I started paying attention to the way he was saying things and the things he would change the subject about. The first thing that really caught my attention was him asking me to move out. I moved in with him during the shut down. Everything was great. I was living my housewife fantasy. This lasted until June. Then I came back from vacation with my family. He was acting really weird. The next morning he blurted out that I couldn’t live there anymore. His mom told him that he had to make me move out. That was the first time she caused an issue.

So I moved out and he assured me that nothing would change and I could still spend the night. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the beginning of the end, but I kept moving forward and trying to make the best of things. We start talking about what’s going to happen when his lease runs out. I suggest buying a house so it would be an investment and make his payments lower. I made it clear that we wouldn’t have to live together until after we were married, which at that point he had suggested June 5, 2021. I was all for it. I thought this was his way of making up for asking me to move out. He agreed to buying a house (which would be in my name until we were married), and we started looking.

A few weeks later we found the perfect house and went under contract. He tells his mom and she tells him “no.” He is not allowed to buy a house with me. All of a sudden he went from breaking his lease ASAP to we will discuss it later. Looking back, he frequently put me off until “later,” which usually never came. So I decide to move forward and buy the house myself. I knew I could afford it, we were still getting married June 5th and I thought that everything would be fine. I wanted this relationship to work more than anything. I was so happy to finally be in a relationship and having so much fun planning for a wedding and the future.

Then, out of nowhere, he starts taking about getting a new job and moving. We had agreed that he would stay here another year so we could be together and then after we got married we would move to wherever the job took him. I start panicking and ask him for reassurance that we would stick to the plan and stay here another year. He agrees. I ask him to tell his family because I had a feeling that that where the pressure to move was coming from. He does and it becomes a huge issue. His mom is calling and becoming more and more emotionally abusive. He will tell me he is staying, talk to her, and then change his mind.

Finally he asks me to leave so he can have a private conversation with his family. A decision that would effect me more than anyone other than him and I am asked to leave. I beg him to let me stay. He refused. He was told that I am not allowed to be part of the conversation.

2 hours later he calls me and asks me to come back. His idea of a compromise was to stay here and keep looking for other jobs. If he found one, he would leave. This meant that nothing changed and he was still choosing work over me. At that point I had enough and decided that his mother and I needed to have a chat. I ask him to set it up and he does for a few days later.

So we call his mom. I respectfully shared my views and she imediatly starts berating me and speaking to me like I am a child. In the middle of all of this I start having a panic attack. Then I am told not to “take a tone” with her. He shushes me. She then tells me that we will not be getting married in June, my opinion in the relationship doesn’t matter, and that his job will always come first.

Finally the call ends and I start sobbing. He is talking about how “we found some common ground” and “it went great.” I am literally sobbing while he is saying these things. Then I run upstairs to puke. While I am in the bathroom I can hear him telling my mom how great it went. Imagine being so dense that your girlfriend is having a panic attack, shaking, sobbing, and puking and still thinking that everything went great.

I ask him to leave and spend the rest of the night and the next morning trying to process everything. I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t live like this. His mother would never change, he would always put work first, and I would have to be happy with the scraps that were left. I broke up with him that day.

So here is the point to all of this. Pay attention. Not just to what the person is saying or to how you feel. Your heart is deceptive. If I had looked more closely and been a little more smart, we would have never gotten together. There were so many signs that he wasn’t it. But I liked him. He noticed me. He was an expert at love bombing and manipulation. Everything became more clear after I broke it off. I found myself again. Yeah, it sucked and yeah I was heartbroken, but once I realized what I was gaining by leaving, everything became much clearer.

Here is my advice. Make a list of what you want. Think and pray long and hard over it. If someone asks you at change something on that list, think and pray over that. I have had my list since I was 20 or so (I am 27 now). He didn’t meet the basic things I needed out of someone, but I wanted what he claimed to offer so badly that I let it slide. A relationship should change you for the better, it shouldn’t make you lose part of yourself. The right person is out there. Being lonely in a relationship is worse than being lonely and single.

So what did I gain be leaving? Instead of buying a house that he liked, I am building on my family’s farm. I get to raise my family there and follow in my great granny’s footsteps. I realized that being single isn’t the worst thing. I have gotten closer with my friends and siblings. I am dating and having fun with it. I have a job that I love. And most importantly, I am not being held back and pushed aside.

[gooooooostephanie]

radiowithnoreception replied to your post: btw I bonded with some little...

go to solarmovie.so and look it up there. That’s how I watched it earlier today. I thought it was pretty good.

you are a beautiful angel

[disfan]

I personally thought it was hilarious and that other person is a dooty head!

I'm going to start calling everyone dooty heads.

[thecouragetopursue]

Disney Princess Personality Test!

Rapunzel! With Tink as a close second!

(PS. I swiped this from radiowithnoreception.tumblr.com.)

Belle

[ ] You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.

[ ] You’ve been lost in the forest.

[X] You love to read.

[ ] You aren’t shy at all.

[ ] One of your family members is a bit weird.

[X] You have done volunteer work.

[x] You have a wild imagination.

[X] You love to take care of people in need.

[x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.

[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.

Total:

6/10

Rapunzel

[ ] You’re an orphaned child or have an evil step-mother.

[X] You have many different hobbies to keep you busy.

[X] You can get really bored.

[X] You have/had very long hair.

[ ] Your hair is/was bright blonde.

[X] You’re an artsy person.

[X] You’re childish.

[X] You can’t wait to stop the same routine each day and start living.

[X] You care about others and their feelings.

[X] You like to follow the rules.

Total:

8/10

Tiana

[ ] You love to cook.

[X] You have big dreams for the future.

[ ] You love to visit lakes and ponds.

[X] You are a hard worker.

[ ] Your favourite colour is green.

[ ] You don’t take mistreatment from anybody.

[ ] You have a strong, passionate singing voice.

[ ] Your best friend is a little ditzy.

[ ] You find ‘romantic’ stuff a bit cheesy.

[X] Overly flirty guys annoy you.

Total:

3/10

Alice

[ ] You have/had a pet rabbit.

[X] You love to play cards.

[ ] You constantly know the time.

[X] You get yourself in sticky situations.

[X] You have been to a court.

[X] You have fallen asleep while doing your homework.

[ ] You have had a tea party.

[ ] You like hats.

[X] You’re often late.

[ ] You know how to play croquet.

Total:

5/10

Jasmine

[ ] Your dad is rich.

[X] You are very clever.

[ ] You’ve been with someone way different from you.

[X] You’re unique and different from everyone else.

[X] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.

[X] You have set a lot of goals for yourself.

[x] You don’t have a lot of close friends.

[x] You’re independent.

[ ] You are wealthy.

[ ] Your parents try to control your life.

Total:

6/10

Megara

[X] Your boyfriend/crush is strong.

[ ] Your have gotten involved with the wrong people before.

[ ] You are very convincing.

[X] You have fallen in love before.

[ ] You have had your heart broken.

[X] You find an interest in Greek mythology.

[X] You lie sometimes.

[ ] You pretend to be someone you’re not.

[ ] You have been used.

[X] Purple is one of your favorite colors.

Total:

 5/10

Ariel

[X] Your parents expect a lot from you.

[ ] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.

[ ] You’re a bit of a trouble maker.

[ ] You’re the youngest in the family.

[ ] You have a lot of sisters.

[X] You collect something.

[X] You have/had long hair.

[X] You are adventurous.

[X] You’re extremely curious.

[ ] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.

Total:

5/10

Aurora

[ ] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.

[ ] You almost died at a very young age.

[X] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful.

[X] You have a decent singing voice.

[X] You like to sleep in late on the weekend.

[ ] You spend most of your time outside.

[ ] You’re adopted.

[x] You’re very romantic.

[X] Pink is one of your favorite colors.

Total:

5/10

Cinderella

[ ] One of your parents has passed away.

[ ] You are expected to do a lot of chores.

[X] You love to dress up.

[X] You love animals.

[ ] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.

[X] Your mom is really strict.

[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.

[X] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.

[X] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.

[ ] You have/had blonde hair.

Total:

5/10

Snow White

[ ] You know that you’re beautiful.

[X] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.

[ ] You’ve almost been killed.

[ ] You have at least seven good friends.

[ ] You’ve had food poisoning.

[X] You have/had short hair.

[X] You get along with almost everyone.

[X] All of your friends are different.

[X] You love to have a good time.

[ ] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.

Total:

5/10

Tinkerbell

[X] You get jealous easily.

[X] You loved your childhood.

[X] You like to fly.

[X] You believe in magic.

[ ] You are petite.

[ ] You hate pirates.

[X] You love sparkles.

[X] People underestimate you.

[X] You get angry easily.

[ ] You have/had a treehouse.

Total:

7/10

Pocahontas

[X] You love to walk around and explore big cities.

[ ] You are more spiritual than religious.

[ ] You’ve been in an interracial relationship.

[ ] One of your family members has passed away.

[ ] Your parents are very protective of you.

[X] Someone you know has been in the war.

[ ] You love nature.

[ ] You have/had black hair.

[X] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.

[X] You’re very adventurous.

Total:

4/10

Mulan

[ ] You can be a tomboy sometimes.

[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly.

[ ] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.

[ ] You’ve had a physical fight with someone.

[ ] You have/had considered running away from home.

[ ] Your parents try to plan your life out.

[X] A lot of your friends are boys.

[ ] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.

[X] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them.

Total:

2/10

Esmeralda

[X] You love to dance.

[ ] You’ve fallen in love with someone you hated at first.

[ ] You hate dogma (religious authority that oppresses).

[X] You are free-spirited.

[ ] You have a fiery temper.

[ ] You love goats.

[ ] You like to be sexy. 

[ ] You are involved in the taboo.

[X] You love rich colors and jewelry.

Total:

3/10

[disfan]

What is the best and worst part of being a cast member?

Nothing beats Guest Interaction, when it's good. When it's not so good, that can be the worst part.