#radhalaus

[strifeborn-a]

@radhalaus​ this is how cloud has rufus saved in his phone ur welcome

[lifedxbt]

radhalaus replied to your post: radhalaus replied to your post: ...

i tHOUGHT HE DIED IM

//Yeah so he’s in a secret ending of Dirge of Cerberus for like, two seconds. He’s been in Deepgrounds since Crisis Core

[roseusuitta-a]

@radhalaus​

 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐘, time dragging    agonisingly    slow.  Though she created her own entertainment, it was starting to feel like her games were becoming tedious, in need of inspiration, a thirst for more. And again, she    IDLY    wanders the corridors - often sneaking to areas that weren’t ‘off limits’ per say, but she hadn’t exactly been given permission.. Were she to be caught, her alibi would hold. She hadn’t been specifically told NOT to enter these areas. Each week, each month, becoming braver still. Her    wandering    spirit to take her through the twist and turns  -  the secrets of the building. Though, admittedly she was too young to truly understand what was being    CONDUCTED    outside of the four walls where she and her mother would rest.

         Her recent adventure taking her to some bland, dull office like corridors. And    THOROUGH    she is, exploring every room, every hidden spot. There would be of no benefit to this, but she would tell herself so. And voices could be heard from close to her location. Should she run? Peak and listen? She pauses and remembers her alibi, and tiptoes to the corner of the wall, peaking around just a little,    eager    to see something different in her day. A young boy and the president -- she had seen him once before, but from a distance and brief. She full of hope at the time that another may be moving in to their residence - someone for her to play with. But she had already been  informed by her mother that this was the presidents son, and wouldn’t be visiting all that often. 

Frown upon the younger male wasn’t so together or    PLEASANT    as he storms away from his father he appeared to be arguing with. He heading towards her, and she gasps, back against the wall. He storms past paying little to no attention to her attempting to hide, hands covering her eyes, believing she would    dissapear   . But he pays no attention, and she soon follows after him. “Hey --- are you okay?! “ She calls out, loud enough for him to hear but not to alert anyone else nearby. She speeds up to catch up with him. “ I know somewhere we can go and get some ice cream, if you’d like?” A head tilt, trying to look around him to get his attention.

[presidentshxnra]

radhalaus replied to your post “//do i intend for the first thing i write on this blog to be porn? yes...”

father pls

How do you think you were made son

[grandschemed]

@radhalaus​ / rufus & cloud.

just follow the commanding officer’s instructions.  how hard could it be, right?  oh, how familiar the sound of the piercing whistle and yet, the memory is so distant.  left, left, left, right, left, cloud marches, doing his best to blend in with the rest of the militia, pretending he doesn’t feel the weight of everyone’s gaze.

before he knows it, his squad is separated from the rest, now up close to perform for the new president himself to celebrate his grand promotion — rufus shinra.  in cloud’s humble opinion, he’s nothing more than a smirking bastard born with a silver spoon in his mouth and just as poisonous as his dead father, if not, five times worse.  just a sliver too late, cloud reluctantly salutes him alongside his fellow officers, posture tall and back straight, eyes looking ahead.  under his uniform, cloud sweats, silently begging any god for an ounce of compassion, but the show goes on.  

“congratulations, mr. president.  sir!”

[apernor]

radhalaus replied to your post: //okay new blog title and it suits my url better...

IM SO SORRY

//it was a placeholder anyway! 

just out here being bullied by rufuses 

[shinrasfirst]

@radhalaus earned a trophy: The Johnny Experience 🏆

In retrospect, he shouldn’t have run. Sandy ground, cheap flipflops and wobbly ice cream aren’t the dream lineup for a successful jog back to his towel. For a moment Johnny is torn between a crushing sadness over having lost the ice cream he’s been looking forward to so much, and shock over having given this poor man the coldest surprise of his lifetime.      “Ahh- no! That was the last chocolate they had--” Johnny laments, but knows that’s not the most pressing issue. As much as he wants to run back to sweet-talk the vendor into giving him a discount on another cone (the coins in his pocket wouldn’t be enough to buy more), he knows he has to fix the mess he made first.

     “Sorry, bro, I tripped!” he apologizes to the blond whose chest is now covered in a mix of green, orange and brown, and lifts his napkin to start wiping at him. Damn. If only licking it off were somehow acceptable in this scenario. No, that’d be weird.      “Aishh.. it’s dripping on your pants--”

[qiianze-moved]

                              ❈⋆ “ 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖... ? ” ⋆❈                                           @radhalaus​

gods, had he truly missed so much? had so much time passed that they all thought he was gone for good? reno took his spot as lead turk, yet failed to keep the president safe —- fuck the idea that rufus had no longer been president. he had been calling him that years before it was even official, and he didn’t see himself stopping anytime soon. president of what? he didn’t fucking know anymore. the planet? gods, he would give rufus that and more if he would still have him. if he would still let him. together, they could accomplish great things, at least that’s what he had been telling rufus for years. what did he think of him now? reno was able to fill tseng in a little bit, though bewilderment still clouded his ability to explain much —- a mention of kidnapping, mention of beating, another kidnapping -— and then the geostigma. 

“how the FUCK could you let this happen!?” slender fingers tightened around windpipe. the redheaded turk didn’t bother trying to pry the hands away, he only took it with tears lining his lids. was it lack of oxygen, or fear? both, tseng assumed. “how could you let this happen?” asked again; he’s almost expecting an answer despite reno’s current inability to reply. but there’s nothing, and if it wasn’t for rude stepping in with his usual stoic demeanor, speaking tseng’s name in a tone that reminded him of a calm storm, perhaps tseng would have killed reno right then and there. but he releases his grip and he smirks as reno gasps for air. “you’re a piece of shit.” one last insult that reno takes without argument before rude nods forward, silently directing tseng to the hall where a room waited at the end. 

rufus’ room. 

was he ready to see the president in such terrible shape? he had heard rumors, heard whispers about his condition and about how the sickness ate away at his health day by day. he had already broken his promise once —- that he would stay by his side no matter what -— so what was another broken promise? unfair blame. tseng had no choice in the matter. after all, he didn’t ask for sephiroth to sink his blade between his ribs. 

there’s quiet hesitation as tseng makes his way down the narrow hallway. hand reaches out to grab the doorknob, but he stops himself. takes a breath. reaches out again. this time, he opens it with reluctance and he’s met with a conflicting feeling of both relief and concern. it takes everything for tseng not to sprint over and fall down next to him. to grab his hands and beg for forgiveness. explain everything. but he knows that he has to treat this with care. he has to be sensitive. rufus thinks he’s dead. they all did. and in his current state, tseng can’t imagine rufus will have an easy time digesting this revelation.

so, he’s careful. slow in his movements, like a stalking jaguar. the wheelchair is jarring and it has him wavering the slightest bit; he’s thankful rufus’ back is to him so he can compose himself before circling around and in front of him. 

oh. 

the reaction is immediate. this wasn’t the plan; he wasn’t supposed to show weakness, but gods ... looking at him, tseng can’t help but fall to his knees, hands quickly finding those of the president. there’s a million things he wants to say: apologies, oh so many of those. confessions of love, infatuation, admiration, adoration —- everything and anything he could think of. relief that rufus hadn’t perished without him, but no words would leave his parted lips. instead, the two share a gaze with one another, staring as if blinking would cause the other to disappear in thin air. but then rufus dares utter the simplest question. a question he can’t even finish. a question tseng knows he can’t answer. 

“ 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖... ? ”

tseng shakes his head, a smile threatens to crack his features just from hearing his voice. one hand moves to rufus’ face, fingertips laying flat against the bandages around his head as thumb swipes along the skin, “another time, love.” soon, his other hand is joining against the other side of the presidents’ face as he rises the slightest bit so he can get a good look at him, “how could they let this happen...” 

it’s a whisper just loud enough for rufus to hear, “i’m —-.” he chokes on the word, not because of his pride, but because it feels inadequate. he should have been there. he should have done more, but instead he was trapped between life and death, forced to sit idly by until the others decided he was free to go, and the funniest part is: this time he wanted to. as he sat there, bleeding out in that damn cave, tseng felt despair. that desire to perish and never return to gaia again was absent; all he could think about was the fact that he was leaving rufus behind, and he couldn’t even explain it to him. “-— I’m so sorry.”

[rcdwrxck]

@radhalaus​ -- Traitor Verse Starter

HE SUPPOSED HE SHOULD have figured this day would come. Hauled back into the hellhole he’d escaped from. Face bruised and bloodied, arms bound behind his back and planted on his knees like a dog. Eyes full of disdain, the copper tang still fresh in his mouth and his head still aching from the barrel of the gun that had been pushed painfully into it. A simple of announcement of his arrival, the gleeful tones of those who’d managed to bring him to his knees. They were almost excited. He’d managed to evade capture from everyone -- Turk and Soldier alike. But they’d overwhelmed him eventually, boxed him in from all sides. Leaving absolutely no room for him to run again.

Face to face with the blonde who presided over the company, despite him being on his knees, despite him having next to no strength left, Reno refused to look away. His last ounce of stubborn pride forcing him to keep his eyes focused and not look away. Not allowing himself to be intimidated. What was the worst they could do? Kill him? Hell, he probably deserved it for everything he’d done in their name. Despite never once believing in them, despite never being on their side. The information he’d gleaned had been more than enough to put Shinra under stress. They’d find it harder moving forward and that made Reno almost giddy with glee.

“You’ll never win, you know.”

[battleshot]

Would you mind recommending some final fantasy blogs?

Firstly, I’m so sorry I’ve had this saved in my drafts for so long -- I just wanted to do this justice. Below are muses that I follow -- and their corresponding game. [ Please, if I miss you from this list it’s not my intention -- But these may be people I interact with or admire -- and we may have just not spoken or seen each other on the dash yet <3 also in no particular order i just started at the bottom of my follow list  ]

FF7 / Remake 

@hercbled, @jcncva, @strifebled, @freeheroed, @presidentiial, @radhalaus, @rcdwrxck, @speedjunkie, @7theaven, @devilreno, @roseusuitta, @getturked, @inanisvitae, @thememcry, @dogof-war, @hiraethyr, @xiinzhan, @beatrushx, @pulchralilium, @hatredheld, @sweettifalockhart, @shinrasfirst, @sparkstorms, @cultivatxr, @hartbeating, @qiianze, @korporativ, @drivenchaos, @gainsborro, @blondeturk, @kissafist, @firstclassstrife, @denzeru, @cosmicfyres, @prcmisedland, @highgear, @cryeterna, 

FF 10 

@fulgensun, @faytheart, @seraflies, 

FF 10-2

@spiraleyed​, 

FF 13 

@thyellae

FF Versus 13

@asterites, 

FF 15 / KG

@strictomiles, @avulsusprinceps, @oldamicitia, @adagaium, @bewachen, @syllene, @regiastatio, @drakainaea​, @aegisregalis​, @chosenbythecrystal​, @worldbecomefantasy​, @purposeclaimed​, @amicitiaeclipse​, @aeraofhisheart​, @departedcrown​, @graveread​, @infideliis​, @ofimmortal​, @curenone​, @sxrtis​, @kingxlight​, @divinedaemonic​, @galdinking​, @tridentfaith​, @crystallineglacian​, @starscourged​, @zestirix​, @shieldofvalor​, @consiliarium​, @moralhymn​, @scourgedaddy​, @inimiicus​, @scourgeincarnate​, @glcdio​, @croweoftheglaive​, @headstrongimmortal​, @emperoraldercapt​, @gamesover​, @moonwove​, @wrencharmed​, @nachtpriinz​, @lunreya​, @starscorned​, @oraclelight​, @fires-of-furia​, @sacrificedhe​, @zankokukami​, @fellthegods​, @chosenking​, @forsakenvowed​, @pyrewarped​, @servivitei​, @lionhaerted​, @scourgeborne​, @loqis​

[fakepriest]

how are you ruined?

ruined by apathy

you cant bring yourself to care. you hate that you cant feel what you used to be able to feel. you hate that you cant be happy. you hate that you cant bring yourself to actually hate. your apathy has swallowed you and immersed you in a well of nothingness. you cant feel what you cant forget. you cant see what you close your eyes to. you choose to feel nothing, and you have lost everything because of it.

tagged by: @gamenu​

tagging: @despairfiles (waver) @mirckel @ryogai @ardensfides @abendrotbrav​ @radhalaus​ @memorylost​ @lamentingprophet​

[strifeborn-a]

        ❛ Mind leaving your dog outside the door? She’s making me  uncomfortable. ❜

@radhalaus​ gets a one-liner!

[lifedxbt]

| fuck | @radhalaus​​ asked | “Where the fuck do you turn it on?”  |

“As much as I would enjoy watching you struggle with this...” Tseng nudged Rufus aside slowly, taking his place. “I’d rather you not gas us.”

It was strange. Tseng had never really taken the time to consider that Rufus had never lived without Mako energy. He had spent his formative years without it, he hadn’t forgotten how to use older technologies. He had thought that the old safehouse might not be up to Rufus’s standards but hadn’t considered this.

“You have to light it yourself.” He explained, taking a box of matches and striking one before lighting the stovetop. “Why don’t you just go relax and I’ll handle the cooking?”

[roseusuitta-a]

“   Oh,   Rufus  ! How nice of you to visit ! would you care to see my   latest   addition?”                  @radhalaus​ liked for a one liner

[turktwostep]

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃 ; [ 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙴𝚇𝙷𝙰𝚄𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙳 ? ]  𝚏𝚝. 𝚁𝚄𝙵𝚄𝚂 @radhalaus​​       𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙾 @getturked​​       𝚃𝚂𝙴𝙽𝙶 @qiianze​​       𝚁𝚄𝙳𝙴 @turkthis​​

licking his wounds like a dog for his master. hands are stained with crimson & bathwater shines red. he's careful with the man, both physically and emotionally. no questions, no talking. no words are shared between them even still. reno hadn't said anything other than a panicked intrigue of his physical state when he had found rufus in that dank basement. even as he carried him to the chopper. even as they were up above, hovering over civilization —- waiting. for what? an answer. any answer. rufus was unresponsive, reno had no other support; he had to continually glance over at him from where he was slumped over while also paying attention to the controls so that they didn't crash. it was a shit show and a half, but he had to stay strong despite not knowing what happened.

who could have done this? why? and the main question on his mind: where was tseng?

questions waited for answers that reno never in his life wanted to hear. he wanted to deny it, to scream in their faces —- the grunts who offered him a more eye-witness account upon reaching the ground. not tseng, he breathed out as if it would be his last exhale, it couldn't have been tseng.

oh, but he knew better.

after all, he had been the one to warn rufus in the beginning. he was the one who endured the president screaming in his face, dismissing him with venom in those pretty fangs of his. he never took a bite, but now reno was wishing he had. death would have been better than this gruesome reality. remembering the hints, the cryptic way tseng spoke of his life and his own future and shrugging it off with a kind smile when approached about it. reno knew better, but he didn't want to. still, he went to rufus each time he had a bad feeling.

he wondered, as nimble fingers wash away the blood caked on his skin, if perhaps rufus had been thinking about it too. all of those signs: ignored. reno wouldn't dare ask, but he wondered.

"rude went with him." reno speaks at last. it wasn't what he wanted to say, but it was the one thing at the forefront of his mind. "s'what they told me, at least." hard to believe, and the thought alone made him choke, but anything was possible now. tseng made that perfectly clear, and so he had to wonder if he and rude had been planning it all along.

oh.

that thought hurt him more than the act itself.

"wouldn't doubt if they had more eyes too, y'know. probably seen me escape with you." it's not what he wants to talk about, but the president's safety was his number one concern now. he was tseng now.

oh, that made him flinch away, grimacing at his own thought. no. he was nothing like tseng. tseng was a fucking traitor. all the honor and bullshit he spoke about all the time —- what honor is there in betrayal? no, he wasn't tseng. he was reno. but now his primary focus was making sure rufus was okay. making sure he would live, making sure he was safe. now until the day he died —- now until the end of time. he would be dammed if he let another thing happen to him. he would make it right. he would make all of it right. tseng be dammed.

then, there's a quiet noise. the first noise he's heard out of rufus since getting him into the tub. it's subtle, what he assumed was a gasp and then he pretends to ignore the tears brimming his eyes. oh, that certainly changed things. reno wanted to leave, not in general of course —- just the room. to give him the privacy he deserved, to grieve in silence.

he thinks back again. breaking down the door, walking down the creaking stairs, smelling nothing but mildew and blood —- turning on the light had been a bad idea. it was like opening the door to his worst nightmare. as if he had merely been dreaming —- he had seen this before, after all. this exact scene. this nightmare becoming a reality, and as he sped to the president, a piece of metal caught his attention. on the table in front of where he had been tied, a plethora of different bloodstained tools sat, but near them was a piece of jewelry. a ring, gold in color. expensive.

sentimental.

and without thinking, reno swipes it up and shoves it into his pocket.

now, back to the present, he fiddles with it in his pocket as his other hand reaches up again to clean the blood from rufus' hair. he begins to scrutinize a little harder now, eyes trailing along every inch of him until his hands are in view. ah, that's where he had seen it before... the matching rings. sentiment.

suddenly, he feels even worse for rufus, but he continues to remain stoic. strong. if only for rufus. if he could, he would erase tseng from his memory. he would go back in time and end his life before it even truly began —- why did tseng deserve life? why did he deserve to live and leave everything he ever knew in shambles? to destroy it all without a second thought. to hurt everyone who had ever loved him in any way; why?

"gods, fuck him." he doesn't mean to vocalize the thought. he doesn't want to do this, not now, not in front of rufus. so, he purses his lips and removes his hand from the pocket with that damn ring in it in order to pay more attention to the man in front of him. with both hands now, reno runs his fingers through hair, uncaring of the blood caking it and now his digits as a result of the action. "s'gonna be okay, boss." who knew the next statement spoken would create such sudden animosity: "i gotcha, don't worry."

rufus tenses at the words. muscles contract, fingers squeeze into fists. his gaze haunts reno —- it's full of something new, at least in relation to him. his eyes fill reno with such a fear, he has to distance himself the slightest bit. hatred. it's a fire in his eyes, a fire in his belly. he wants to scream, and for once, he decides: why not.

"did you know." it's less of a question, more of a statement. a demand.

dark brows nearly meet in the middle of his face, he's scrunching them so damn hard. reno says nothing in return. the look on his face alone should have been answer enough.

"did you know?" his voice is weak yet still full of such authority, reno feels a certain unease when he, yet again, doesn't answer. he's almost offended at the notion, but he has to keep in mind that rufus certainly isn't in his right mind. despite that knowledge, reno still keeps his mouth shut, right hand shoving back into his pocket to fiddle with that cursed piece of jewelry.

"reno. did. you. know." each statement punctuated with the same hatred in his eyes. he stares at reno. straight through his soul, as if he wants the man to hurt, to feel every ounce of everything he himself had been feeling. as if he wanted reno to suffer.

"no." he answers gently, despite his own anger rising behind his ribcage. the anger wasn't directed at rufus, it was tseng, and that damn hold he had over them both. it wasn't fair. how could he keep such a tight hold on them while also plotting to destroy them at the same time?

but there's a look on the president's face. a look that jabs a knife right between his ribs —- reno releases the smallest gasp. a sneer. features are screwed up into something terrible, something that makes reno feel so suddenly, alone.

"no?" the question is asked and venom seeps from those deadly teeth, that sharp tongue. he looked upon reno as if he were nothing more than an old toy, a machine that stopped functioning correctly a long time ago. perhaps rufus had just been sentimental, too much that he couldn't throw out the old and replace it with new. something better, something shiny. at least, that's how he looked at reno. what had actually been going through the president's head —- well, that was yet to be seen.

"i told you what i thought, sir. i had said that -." reno's interrupted by the sudden rise of rufus' hand from the red bath water.

"i know what you told me, reno. that isn't what i asked."

"what the fuck do you want me to say then?" he doesn't mean to snap back. he knows that rufus is in a vulnerable situation right now, made even more-so by the ring still settled in reno's pocket. he can't stop fidgeting with it. had they been engaged? he had never heard anything about it, but then again, the both of them were secretive men to a fault. they didn't announce much unless it had to do with all of them.

reno hated to think about that.

a betrayal in every sense of the word. no wonder he was so damn on-edge.

"i want you to tell me the fucking truth, reno." volume of voice rises and reno swallows hard. there's an attempt to swallow back every emotion fighting to rise to the surface before it explodes in a fit of rage. the last thing he wants to do is get into a screaming match with him. not now ... not ever.

"i'm gettin' y'out of the tub, mr president. i told ya i ain't know shit." reno reaches back to grab the towel hanging from the rack before offering a hand that rufus begrudgingly takes. after all, there's no way he could do it on his own. not yet, at least.

after draining the tub and turning on the shower head for a moment or two in order to rinse the remaining blood away, reno drapes the president's arm around his shoulder and lifts him out of the tub. with every hiss and pained noise from the man, there's a new rage rising in his stomach. sure, he was angry with tseng. he had been angry with tseng since understanding that he had been the one to cause all of this, but he never really got the chance to think about it. it was just a chaotic anger, an impulsive anger. now, hearing noises he never thought he would hear fall from the president's lips, reno suddenly feels the need for revenge.

and gods be dammed, he would get it.

but for now, his focus needed to be on rufus. even if the president didn't want him or his company, reno wouldn't give up on him. he wouldn't leave his side, even if he screamed and yelled and told him how much he hated him, reno would stay loyal and devoted, just as he promised all those years ago.

what the hell was a promise to rufus now? tseng broke that entirely, for anyone and everyone. this was something reno would have to deal with, going forward. was it fair? no, absolutely not. did he understand? to a degree. he wondered if he would be the same in the president's situation.

ah, a thought best saved for later. especially since it seemed as though rufus had more to say.

"reno." rufus speaks his name but it doesn't bring the red-head any joy as it usually did. instead, it's spoken again with absolute disdain that makes reno's stomach turn. if he weren't sitting in front of rufus, he probably would have been physically sick just from the way his name is spoken. "i'm going to ask you again, and you are going to tell me the truth."

he already wants to yell the answer despite rufus not even asking yet.

"did. you. know." sure, the words falling from rufus' mouth were calm enough, but the disgust behind every single one stung reno in a way he had never felt before. what the hell was he supposed to say? what was he supposed to do?

the two of them are on the bed. reno had dressed him in a light yet comfortable robe and if he were being honest, he was already starting to look like himself again despite the ordeal happening mere hours before. the scene is nice. it's comfortable, but the feel of it is anything but. the room is heavy with tension; reno can't stop fidgeting with that fucking piece of jewelry in his pocket. tseng did this. he ruined everything, and he would never forgive him.

"no," reno answers again, in his own calm tone, "and if i woulda known, i woulda told ya." he can't sit on the bed anymore. he can't just sit there as if they're two lovers engaging in simple conversation. no, they weren't lovers and this wasn't simple conversation. the possibility of lovers was thrown into the sewers, and that burned reno. again, a thought for another time ...

"you're a fucking liar. you never were good at lying." rufus attempts to stand, but he's wobbly —- unstable -— and falls right back down on the bed. despite the venom, reno nears him, an attempt to ask him what he wants, where he wants to go, but hands quickly grasp clothing and rufus is pulling reno down so that they're at eye level. against his better judgement, reno sits against the bed again and rufus releases the grip he had on his reno's shirt.

"i'm just as broken up over this as you are, mr president." alright, maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. there was no way in hell he was even on the same plane of hurt that rufus had been on. "why would i keep that away from you?"

"because you're a fucking turk, reno! that's what you do. that's what all of you slimy bastards do."

"are you kidding me?" reno's voice shakes as he speaks. it wavers and falls, and he can't help it. he doesn't want to show weakness in front of rufus, especially not now, but the accusatory statement nearly has him choking. "until now, every single one of us has been loyal to you —- as a matter of fact, if i remember correctly, you were the one who sided with the enemy at one point in time for your own selfish cause." he can't stop the words, as much as he wants to. all he wants to do is take his abuse, apologize for every accusation, tell rufus that he's right. even ask him what right he has to live? but he can't. in every other sense, reno can roll on his back and show his belly, except for when he's being accused of betraying not only rufus, but the rest of the turks as well.

no.

where the hell were they? if reno was the slimy bastard, why was he the one to patch rufus up and wash away the blood from his wounds? dress him as if he were incapable, and now ... sitting with him, his own mind spinning one-hundred miles a minute. "it fucking hurts me too, rufus. i trusted him, y'understand? i trusted him with my fucking life, just like you did. rude too. i—." he stops at his own mention of rude. oh, he hadn't thought about him since the initial realization and now his chest tightened. suddenly, he can't breathe. "rude went with him..." the words are a whisper, tone crushed by the overwhelming weight of despair.

pick yourself up, red. when in the presence of the president, your thoughts and feelings come last —- he's your concern now. always has been, if honesty is welcome.

but now it's too late to take back those words he flung back at rufus, his own venomous tongue playing a part. he's on the receiving end of the president's hungry stare —- and it wasn't the type of hunger reno was used to -— no, rufus wanted blood.

"if you didn't want your tongue, all you had to do was tell me." he says with a cool air about him, eyes still trained uncomfortably on reno. "speak to me like that again, and i will assure you go without."

all reno can offer is a nod; if he even chances opening his mouth, he might not be able to stop whatever comes forth. at least for the time being.

"now, i'm going to give you a choice here. you can tell me the truth and i'll give you a head-start to get out, or you continue lying and i kill you without a moment's hesitation the moment i learn the truth." he smiles a villain's smile, eyes still burning their way into reno's very soul.

"y'should already know my answer, boss. i ain't goin' no where cos i ain't done nothin'." he shrugs lazily. there's no more fight in him. the only thing he can say is that he never lied, he never hid it from rufus. hell, he never hid anything from rufus. the moment he felt something was even a little bit off with tseng, reno went to the president immediately to tell him that perhaps there should be some extra eyes on the director. but he didn't listen. oh, how he wanted to bring that up so bad. he wanted to throw that in his face, how the hell can you call me a liar when i was the one who came to you first? instead of heeding reno's warnings, rufus turned a blind eye. even yelled at him to shut up. how dare he even suggest such an idiotic notion.

'fine, fine!' he would say, with hands up in surrender. and he would say nothing more on the subject. it upset rufus so —- he wondered how bad it would kill him if reno's speculations ever came true ... well, now we have our answer, don't we?

"get out of my sight."

reno wants to argue, to tell him that he really shouldn't be alone, considering his current predicament, but the president's face is still so full of pure, unadulterated hatred, reno would honestly rather be anywhere else.

"get the fuck out of my sight, and don't you dare show your face until you're ready to tell me what i want to hear." he doesn't bother looking at reno as the words leave his mouth. only raises an arm to motion at the door, and like the good dog he is, reno obeys without argument.

"see ya never i guess, boss." and with that, rufus is alone once more. the silence, at first, is a relaxing embrace that he falls into without issue. but as time continues on, the silence twists into something damming, something despicable. how long has he been sitting there in his robe, allowing the silence to consume him?

and outside of his door, there's a certain redhead standing careful watch. his head is empty, his heart too. his body is numb and then he finally wonders if this is all perhaps a really fucked up dream or maybe it's some crazy ass training simulation. you know, to create some kind of action plan should the worst occur. but he shakes his head, a clipped chuckle falls from those pretty lips, "this ain't no dream," he says to himself, clapping his EMR against the side of his leg in slight anxiety, "so keep your head up, red."

[apernor]

“Tell me about him.” His demand is quiet and slow as he paces languidly before the man who was almost his captive. Rufus Shinra isn’t as helpless as he seems, Kadaj knows that - even with the Stigma’s taint. 

“Tell me about Sephiroth.” 

@radhalaus​