#rabblelog

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

hello i exist n i'm dlowly wading back into online existence

[rabbureblogs]

I'm dyslexic and I kept misreading your name as Rabblelogs for ages and being really confused about who that was for like a second till I saw your icon load in. Now that mobile works better your icon's always there, but you'll always be Rabble to me...

I’m the Rabble! Disorder!

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

i do not know how to reconcile my disability with my spirituality/religion. why shouldn't i be able to magic my way out of this? why would my gods or ancestors allow this? what could it Mean? where could it be pointing me? what might i need to Fix?

it feels like false hope. it feels like cognitive dissonance. it feels like Doubt.

i know that there are some things there i need to work out personally. some shadow work perhaps. se new viewpoints. but.

idk.

my ama, my grandma, had really similar disability stuff to mine. it feels like part of ancestral stuff but. it is taking so much life away from me. why would she as a spirit let this keep happening to me? why can't she help take it away?

it is probable will find answers and viewpoints to reconcile or at least hold this all more in peace but

i'm so tired of being in pain. i'm so tired of being so deeply beyond tired. i'm so tired of my body taking my life away from me. i don't understand how this ties into Spirit, but, i feel so deeply that fibro is connected to the Unseen Forces but

why me

why this difficult

and how do i make it stop or channel it or

find fucking spiritual and physical relief.

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

it is so frustrating how popular such a blatant SWERF is amongst witches i generally repect

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

my apartment spirits have been SO KIND to me today. they are SO RECEPTIVE to any work with them, holy shiiiiiit

definitely gotta write something Big abt apartment magic soon....

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

finally digging into Call of the Horned Piper

hhhhhhhhhyesssssssssooogood

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

found a good bunch of fallen oakmoss... can't wait to turn it into incense. brainstorming all of the lovely scents to go with it...

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

i've said it before and i'll say it again:

once i go through my saturn return it's OVER for you bitches

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

not witchy related at all but cute companion critters of mine:

i have had my rat babies for months and i haven't gotten a good picture of all four of them resting together until yesterday and i just

i'm so in love with them help me

far left clockwise: Blossom, Cobweb, Mustard, and Moth

(yes they are named after the Midsummer Night's Dream fae and yes they are perfect)

[IMAGE ID] behind grey rodent-cage bars are four rats on a black and white blanket. on the far left looking left is Peasblossom: a soft grey agouti fancy rat with a dappled white underbelly. In the back, lying across most of the others and looking right, is Cobweb: a small fancy dumbo rat with dark grey and white patches and a white smudge on her forehead. On the right, looking at the camera with her eyes mostly closed and her paws clasped in front of her, is Mustardseed: a "Himalayan" (cream with grey nose and tail) coloured, juicy fancy dumbo rat. In front and underneath Mustard is Moth: a large, round, brown agouti and white patched fancy rat. She has her eyes mostly closed and her body points right. They are cozy-looking in their snuggle puddle.

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

i need to get a decent push scooter so i can get to my Spots about the Loci without keeling over and dying of crip

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

somehow when i was finding books i confused Chumbley for Agrippa???? I think my brain got fixated on "A"... for Andrew/Agrippa.... silly ADHD nonsense.

so. now i gotta go get some chumbley.

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

releasing Goal of Initiation until after my Saturn Return tbh. for now, I am still a Fool finding my Footing in Fate's Wheel. taking the pressure off and Absorbing, still a Babe with mind of sponge, tending to the Fire and observing the Rites, memorising Paths and footholds so that my own Walk might be smoother

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

very curious about the folklore archetype/trope of magical animals with white coats and red ears

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

i'm actually going through my resource blog- punkbard.tumblr.com - and taking all the notes i've wanted to take for years by hand. and hooooo boy do i have to start being more discerning w/ what goes on there. luckily this process is teaching me what kind of resources i actually want and need. i look forward to being finished so i can dig into some actually reading and work

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

i love curating my divine art blog

tagging things absentmindedly can teach me so much- a practice i learned from my art blog that details my inner system. (the-rabble)

lucifer as syzygial fool rather than syzygial father was. a pleasant understanding within my paradigm that just came from this.

[doubledoubletoilettrouble]

sorting my "New Shit" collection playlist into the rest of my playlists is one of my favourite and most grounding activities. had a gooooood session this morning, and got the length of the list down to 10hrs, which is my ideal!!!

speaking of playlists, i am beginning the process of editing and finalizing my tarot Spotify playlists that have been in the works for? years? so i am probably going to start posting those soon, either weekly or fortnightly, beginning with The Fool and then onto the rest of the Majors!