#r's reading log

[bluestation]

sketch log 13 !

[oooocleo]

Oh shit your reading log is super cool AND you have super good taste in books??? Le Guin is my favorite author of all time, and I've either just read or want to read most of the rest of your 2024 list!

wahaha there r some Stars (the dispossessed.....................yea) in there but also some stinkers

some months back i made a list of the faves up till that point, but let me list some more:

dark places by gillian flynn (if u like fucked up characters shes SO good at writing them... mayb find trigger warnings for this one tho, its darker than gone girl content-wise)

salt slow by julia armfield (short story collection where my enjoyment ranged a bit, but the title story was sooo delicious)

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson (i didnt enjoy we have always lived in the castle that much so i was hesitant, but this was rly interesting! i believe one of the first novels that went hard on the unreliable narrator bit)

the last unicorn by peter s. beagle (woggghhhh the prose.... this surprised me by how incredibly it captured the essence of fairytales)

fight club by chuck palahniuk (i mean. it was more enjoyable than american psycho lol.. and well structured 🤔 and absurd)

[mediocreinternetuser]

posting my thoughts here bc nobody ever gonna see it but biggest crime i’ve witnessed yet is prison break not having a supernatural-esque fanbase.

my babygirl michael stays displaying his big wet sad eyes at any given moment just for him to be alpha male’d by conservative cishet men aged 13-48 just because they yearn for a world in which their structural engineer skills advanced beyond knowing how to twist a doorknob

[alienglowgarden]

Watching endless movies on the projector, the two of you develop an inside joke- Tarkovsky must have secretly been a gardener too. The first time Sol shows him their namesake, Solaris, he is struck by the immaculate beauty, pinnacle of aesthetic composition the world of Tarkovsky's film is. It sets an impossible standard that in a real three dimensional space Sym cannot reach. For a good decade all he can think of is Stalker. By year 6 Vertigo Valley skews more green than fuchsia. For months his work barely moves a single square meter, as he works every angle into mise en place.

I was so funny for this [drabbles and quick idea scrawlings I never posted]

nother sym sol bit. Never wrote out how they come to the conclusion but rest assured there was a path I followed here. It makes sense ok. Philosophy is cool. similar line of thought as that one tumblr post that extrapolates "The default way for something to taste is good. When something tastes good we say "tasty" reinforcing that connection," and what that means for our understanding of morals. From that which is in abundance on vertumna, in the values the gardeners hold, one can make a comparative moral good and evil, which would differ from one borne of human culture. And Sym unfortunately falls squarely on the bad side. Lucky for the brand new invasive species tho.

“You're Evil.” You conclude chuckling as you speak out loud the logic of Gardener morality. “By their standards, you're immoral.” Sym doesn't seem to take it as lightly. “Let’s not talk about this, sugarbug.” That takes you aback. Its the first time something has truly been off the table like this. He’d always said it in a playful tone, directed the conversation to another topic. Here, his eyes were pleading with you to drop it.  You delight in this, knowing his cursed existence mirrors yours so neatly. But it seems you are the only one to see it as such. You find the idea funny in that self-deprecating, ironic kind of way. That "All you can do is laugh, right?" way. But maybe you're alone in this. Maybe you're the wicked dolphin in a sea of beautiful, morally upright sharks with no higher brain function to be capable of intentional cruelty. You think you are this on some cosmic scale, because your brains dipped halfway into another dimension of reality, while all the others still exist in just the three. 

Oh I found the bit abt the green!

When Sym announces that Sol has stopped wearing green, Sol's mothers face tightens, her eyes narrowed, Marz hms indignantly and puts a finger to her chin, Tangent cocks her head to the side and Anemone has no idea what this statement is supposed to evoke in her. Amidst the group of Sols closest friends, she feels stupid for not knowing the answer. Weren't they close once? Weren't they like brothers? It wasn't even so long ago that Anemone still felt close to Sol. She knew them where it mattered, she had thought. Sol, just like Anemone, meant to keep their colony safe at any cost. It wasn't so long ago that they stood side by side with their rifles drawn, watching each others backs. More than anything, the hurt inside Anemone was from the simple fact that she could not protect Sol from this now. Whatever this was. Was green a good sign or a bad one?

the idea being Sol -in line w stuff like insisting people call the xenos "animals" and reminding people that this planet is their home and not some hostile alien prison- very publicly expunges green from their wardrobe to further drive that same point: Vertumna is their home, not the Earth they never experienced. Against their mothers aggressive hostility toward the native plants, they shed what she has stubbornly held onto, they let it go and embrace what is around them. The things that wish to grow. Bit of a political performance piece to make the people around them think abt it. Which also unfortunately Flulu takes as a grave personal insult <3

This works in concert with the drabble of Sols self-exile to the sea, something predating that slightly, perhaps.

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heres a gushy one. solsym ofc.

Sol admits love is a terrifying concept. There is a fear that among their own kind, it will never be enough. Will they be able to finish their work, be capable of carrying out the work that must be done? How will it change them, them for whom the worst part is the change. The unknowable them, a variable they don't have an answer for. It makes their anxiety spike. They often think it is the wrong choice to love someone. To love Sym. Sym hums, quiet and contemplative for a moment, then murmurs 'I know how you feel." He has embraced all the same follies for Sol. Had to grapple with the same thoughts of how it changed who he was fundamentally, beginning with this body. "Sol, you are such a magnificent human being. I have never met anyone quite like you. When I am with you, it feels… Like I'm witnessing history. Just the movement of your hand captivates and stills my heart, for it might usher in something never before seen. You alone possess such a unique understanding of the vision. For all my fear of how you cloud my judgement, I am dazzled several magnitudes more by what you bring to my life. Be glad, my love, for I trust you implicitly. Do not fear change inside yourself. Think of yourself as an experience, not a hard defined point of identity. It is the truest name for it I have come to know in all of my time as Gardener. Come, experience it with me," he extends his hand to them, a gentle smile opening up his whole face as he looks to Sol with such utter devotion, it stops their brain in its tracks. As if in a daze, they reach forward and intertwine their fingers with his, only conscious of the sound of friction as their palms graze against each other. Only the physical sensations at the forefront of their brain, overwhelming the whole of their thoughts.

Also had this ol thing w Sol post saving Tammy n always trying to raise her confidence route.

Sometimes you think maybe Tammy knows something. Wrapped up in her sad unsure speeches there is an inkling of understanding. Does she know? Does she feel it too? On some smaller scale, but... Does she know she shouldn't be alive? You wonder if being saved by you changes them somehow. You spend your childhood talking more to the adults than to your own peers in an effort to deduce some sort of tell, a connection, wondering if you've made them "stuck" too. You think this is the most callous version of yourself. This burning question has hardened you to trivial experiences. To the simplicity of joy. Its just like Tagent said- You're in the swamp, calculating in your head once again if Vace is more useful to the colony alive or dead. You think you see him, here and there: Sym. It had hurt, but you'd stayed away for as long as you could. Tammy, you should have been fearless, you should have realized you had cheated death and nothing could ever touch you again. Not as long as Sol lived.

[summer-oil]

head in hands i only have six hours until the deadline for my summer course analysis thingie …. i wanna write my silly little gojo fic :(((((

[tomurakii]

This dynamic is so funny to me

[cherry-my-beloved]

currently reading the life of sir ernest shackleton by hugh robert mills on internet archive! my tag for it will be #the man the myth the life because this really does build all the mythos it can around shackleton and I don't want to make my blog completely unsearchable

[thespreadsheetzone]

I am begging ppl on tumblr to stop putting """Gen Z Slang"""" in their batfam posts. Please. Please. He would not fucking say that and also you're fucking using it wrong I'm begging you. Lexical features distinct to AAVE are not inherently comedic, yes, even when you write it from the character who grew up poor, yes, even when you contrast it with the old white British man speaking. Go read IRIS Log #1548 by deadchannelradio and maybe you'll learn how to write authentically funny vernacular dialogue.

[goon]

i really wish i was unbanned from town of salem I have like 2k hours into that stupid game but it brings out the worst in me..

[cosmicheromp3]

love coming on here every 10 months and seeing what absolute random shit people are into nowadays

[v4lky-ri3]

Reading update

🐇₊˚⊹ ᰔ

So, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a reading update. Sorry for being inactive lately, it’s just the I’ve been travelling for the first by myself for the past couple days. I’m currently in the USA for the next 2 months spending time with family and family friends.

On that notes, the previous 2 books that I’ve been reading will be on hold momentarily until I return. However, I have brought another book with me, which I have listed as my currently reading. It’s called Bunny by Mona Awad, it’s very different from what I normally read but it’s always important to explore outside your comfort zone. I’ve been flying through the pages, so do expect a book review soon.

[7emperance]

im back yay

[eomcheong-keun-megi]

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[glassamphibians]

they say this like its a lot but that’s the average length of one (1) fantasy audiobook lol two litfics if ur lucky

[moonrpg]

I’m going to cry I’m like deep in the postgame and never knew abt the tablet menus there’s so much to. read here

[meatmensch]

god. tumblr sucks so bad. i was talking to my therapist today and said "i need to be more offline."