#quotes that make me cry every time and tattooed themselves on my soul

[acourtofquestions]

The fact we changed from “My name is Celaena Sardothien and I will not be afraid.” to “Once upon a time, in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom… very much.”

Because she is no longer Celaena Sardothien, nor does she live in fear of being afraid. She is done running, done with that mask that isn’t hers, because it doesn’t hold any comfort anymore. The only comfort she has is in who she really is; and that is no longer terrifying to her.

While both remind her who she is, remind her why; why she is here, why she will not break, why she is still fighting.

The first reminds her of what she had loved and lost. Of loving words that carry on, (of why she carries on) but that is all. All Celaena had was remnants; of someone, something… even herself.

The second, however, is something else; while it is still a dream, it is real… even among nightmares. It lives in her past, yes, but it is also the present, and any future. It is terribly beautifully true. And it is more; more than grief, and memory. Carrying on, finding ways to exist, survive. More than a dream, or words… even more than she is.

Because Aelin has something Celaena never did. Yes, she has a cause to fight for. She has her strength, her power, and rage; vendettas for things she could focus a fight to defeat; and a still terribly looming fate. The queen has a kingdom she adores. She has many things, she is many things… even Celaena still. But that’s not what I’m talking about, no, mostly, it’s that she has friends. A family. A Prince. She has a life not just an existence, a love with a beating heart, something worth dying and living for. And even if it is all gone to ash (“even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars”) that is still hers; not a mask, not a facade, but something real.

In accepting who she is… there is the terrible truth of accepting that she is very much afraid (the fact Fenrys even felt the need to make the word “liar” in their code; because she is not alright, he knows, she knows, we “the reader” know… it’s more so the way we ask “how are you?” as a greeting. Sometimes even in terrible places like a funeral; when we know damn well that no-one there is really “good” or “alright”, but it’s the way we say “hello” and “I want you to be okay” and “are you at least surviving this”). It is being terrified of her acceptance in the first place, because part of being Aelin is the price it holds; because she was “promised” for a fate manipulated by gods before she even had the chance to draw breath… and there’s a doomsday in it that she’ll have to rage against one day… but not yet… not in this place. For now, she just has to exist, survive, live. And only Aelin can do that.

Because it’s not Sam’s words she needs anymore; it’s Rowan’s. And even more so, it’s her own.

It’s the words she said to him, but it is her story (Perhaps even the one she tattooed on her spine? Just a theory of the exact words.) because that, is still hers. Real. Living.

And as any reader knows (it’s why I love these books) you should never underestimate the power of a story.

[angelhummel]

5x05

Jumping right into this episode bc I hate myself lmao

Blaine shaking his ass while cleaning up the choir room is great and then the rest of the episode is all down hill tbh 

"Blaine, this is nothing to be embarrassed about!” ... “This is a revelation!” Mr. Schuester please stop talking and also don’t touch your students like that 

TWERK-TORIAL I’m literally gonna die Mr. Schuester what the fuuuck

Didn’t they say Jenna was the best at twerking but Tina had to be bad at it? We were robbed 

Why even bother filming a five second scene at a hair salon if Rachel just got a fucking wig?? I still maintain she should’ve actually cut her hair like that because it’s so cute 

Also I Am Woman is not a sexy song... What is this guy on about. Also if he didn’t like Rachel’s hair, literally everyone wears wigs on Broadway anyway. Jeez

I was about to skip this song but I said I like Rachel as Fanny better than Rachel as herself and I stand by that. Also idk about you guys, but when I think twerking, I think Funny Girl

Oh no this is the bathrooms episode. Ugh

Wasn’t twerking like getting stale by the time this ep came out? Also every time they say “twerk” my soul dies a little. Except for “our god given right to twerk” bc that’s hysterical 

Oh no Blurred Lines noooo. It’s been nice knowing you guys 

Seriously, why has Schue not been arrested yet? He should’ve been taken in about a dozen times by now

Okay I got to see Jenna shaking it so that makes it a little better. And Blaine and that hip thrusting move on the table... good times 

“You need to back your ass up to the fact that you, a married thirty-seven year old just performed a song about coercive sexual advances as nine minors twerked alongside you down the hallways of a public high school” “It’s called the first amendment!” oh my goddd 

Omg this episode also has shirtless Kurt yaaaas. Holy shit I remember we all lost our collective minds over this. It was so worth the wait though

Oh wow this Unique number was great. I almost got a little teary eyed. 

Also holy shit I really do love this New Directions better than the old New Directions. At least the guys. Jake and Ryder were so ready to kick some ass on Unique’s behalf. Where was that for Kurt, Finn?? Okay well just Finn I guess, since everyone else was ready to throw down tbh 

“We appreciate you moving this school board meeting to our auditorium because we don’t have any more sets” 

Oh I love this montage of dances though. So great. Blaine and Kitty look so fucking cuteeee. And Marley?? Holy shit. 

“Do you want to be on the right side of musical history?” Oh my god. This is honestly so funny. Like I hope no one is taking this seriously lol 

Aww Unique and Blaine used the same MLK quote as each other

“Are you dyslexic? Or illiterate? Or a charlatan?!” Kurt baby oh my god 

oh my god the tattoo guy is like “I don’t wanna hear everyone’s bs story behind their tattoos” .5 seconds later “What are you even doing here? Tell me everything!” 

“It’s femme-ophobic!” 

There’s something just so funny about season five and these last two episodes really highlight that. Like can you picture Rachel Berry on a wrecking ball? Quinn Fabray? Santana Lopez? Nah. But Marley on a wrecking ball?? Why not. I guess bc old gen Glee had The Climb and Party in the USA and new gen Glee has twerk demon thinks-she’s-black Miley 

Okay Will’s little bit with Unique was actually pretty good. I gotta give him props for once. “No one should have to work so hard and risk so much just to be themselves” ugh

Also wow Rachel had me crying. I think early s5 Rachel is the longest I’ve gone actually liking her. From 5x01 all the way to about Frenemies I think. But I draw the line there :P Actually maybe from some time during s4 all the way to 5x09. Wow that’s a looong time of liking Rachel, especially for me...

Actually I liked this episode more than I remember. It’s just a silly fun good time. You really need something like that and A Katy or A Gaga after something like the Quarterback

[real-jane]

Carousel-of-May (Drabble-a-Day, May 2020)

Day 20 - Conflict of Interest

His testimony lasted for nearly an hour. He spoke clearly, and his words echoed up in the high-gabled ceiling of the courtroom. Most barristers make closing remarks on behalf of their clients, but no amount of flowery legal language could say what Draco felt in his heart. His statement wrapped up thusly:

When I was nine years old, my father became pledged to a man we have come to know as Voldemort—but their acquaintance stretched back much further. My father has been embroiled with the deeds of Tom Riddle since he framed Rubeus Hagrid. My mother was not aware of my father’s involvement back in those days, but it has come to light in this court that he has been an orchestrator of dark acts for almost four decades, at the behest of his master.

One of those acts was fathering a son.

I am the sole heir to the Malfoy line, which was built on the backs of muggle-born witches and wizards. My inheritance was written in blood. My father used my mother to secure the legacy of his bigotry, and used me to attack the children of people who opposed him. I have been a tool of his abuse, and a victim of it. But I am not without guilt.

I took the dark mark when I was old enough to know better. I was brainwashed, you can be sure, but I knew what it meant to bear the skull and serpent tattoo, and I will have to bear it until my body is one day cremated, as punishment for my actions.

I have killed no one. I have harmed many. I owe countless apologies to my peers. There is one person to whom I have done the most harm, and to whom this legacy of poison can never be explained or atoned for. Myself.

I have kept myself from knowing love. From developing friendships with people who would have cared for me. From pursuing an education which might have liberated me from my father’s influence. I have kept myself from my mother’s bedside as she lay dying, and kept myself from grieving her after she passed. All this because my father made me believe I could not give or receive affection without violence. The one thing I cannot do is sit by and allow my father, Lucius Malfoy, to continue existing on this planet.

Every meal he is afforded is a meal denied to a wizard he killed. While I believe I do not have it in me to take the life of anyone unless they threatened someone I love… I do not have a family to protect. Nobody loves me. So, I have to protect my legacy and my family name and prevent my bloodline from ever continuing. I will not father children. The Malfoy line ends with me. A fish rots from the head. He, my father, is the head. His death will bring peace to several generations of wizards, just as Voldemort’s death brought peace to mine.

I request he be killed swiftly, and his death not be prolonged by last meals or any bounty of mercy. If he is afforded any rights at all, let him make his confession to a Muggle priest, perhaps the only living soul who could believe there is good in him.

I can live with the death of my father. It will pain me, what he did to me, until my memory goes. I hope I live long enough to forget him.

Thank you.

There was a heady silence in the court as Draco sat down again, but she leaned over and squeezed his knee in reassurance. “You did well,” she whispered. He nodded curtly, patting her hand.

The court did not take long to deliberate and in the end, the sentence was passed.

Lucius Malfoy would hang by the neck until dead.

It was only right that a man who so hated the Muggle world should have a Muggle coward’s death. An old-fashioned death, the kind which was exacted on petty thieves back before prisons existed large enough to hold petty offenders. Except his crimes weren’t petty, and Azkaban was too luxurious for the likes of him.

Draco slumped down in his seat. Lucius Malfoy was taken away in chains by the Azkaban guards, and the crowd filtered out of the room, leaving only Draco, his council, and a handful of court reporters, who he had agreed to speak to after the trial had concluded. He stood behind the defense table and pressed his hands to the wood.

His council held up her hands to quiet the tiny throng. “Mister Malfoy will take one question apiece, so make them count.”

“Mister Malfoy!”

“Go ahead, Jameson,” his companion said.

The man in brilliant yellow robes stood with a notepad and Quick Quotes Quill poised. “The court ruled in your favor. How are you feeling?”

Draco cleared his throat. “Justice has been done, and I believe it will be a relief to many.”

“Why did you give the closing remarks instead of Ms. Granger?” another reporter asked, a woman named Marissa from a small gossip rag.

He glanced at Hermione Granger, who was standing pensively beside him, appearing strong and unbending as she had always done, since the day he came to her asking for help. “Would you like me to answer?” she asked. He shook his head.

“While Ms. Granger has always represented my interests above and beyond the call of duty, I felt it necessary for the court to understand that Lucius Malfoy’s crimes cannot be summarized on paper, nor can they be considered in any way inconsequential to my family’s legacy.” He shrugged. “No one is able to tell my story but Me. Even if they are as eloquent as Ms. Granger.”

Rita Skeeter held up a clawed hand. “Are you open to dating now that your trial is over, Mister Malfoy? And if so, may I tell my readers we have an eligible bachelor on our hands?”

He blushed. “That is one facet of my life to which you shall never be privy, Miss Skeeter.”

“So that’s a yes, then.” She winked and Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Any questions pertaining to the actual trial?” Hermione did roll her eyes, and he was greatly amused.

A man stood, this time wearing becoming tweed robes with a jaunty hat and a mustache to match. “My question is for Ms. Granger: why did you take on this case in particular?”

Draco felt her tense up. “Surely that is something your readers don’t care about,” Draco said.

“On the contrary. I feel my readers will want to know how a member of the golden trio came to represent a former Death Eater.” Giles Gibbons was known for his direct and honest questioning, which always flowed freely from him, as if his extemporaneous thoughts were tightly organized in his head—he was neither disrespectful nor coddling. Which is why Draco suddenly felt quite self-conscious that Hermione might be required to answer such a personal question. She wasn’t the one on trial. She was his council. An incredible barrister, to be sure, but she was not under sentencing. The fact he had bullied her up until third year and been a part of a murderous cult was not a factor in their working relationship… was it?

Hermione sighed. “Mister Gibbons, while I appreciate your frankness and fluidity, which is indeed an admirable quality in a fountain pen, I don’t believe it is my responsibility to answer why I, an experienced barrister and woman of integrity, would take on a worthy case. You may think you understand what those words mean—former Death-Eater. Golden Trio.—you did not live through the origins of them. For me to try to explain to you why Draco Malfoy is worthy of defending... He had a case, he came to me, I said yes. That’s all you need to know.”

Draco tried to pry his jaw off the floor. Yes, he was grateful to her for all she had done to help him, but he had figured she had done it out of some misplaced sense of duty… and not because she really believed his case worthy of defending. His heart leapt.

“That’s all the questions we’ll take for now.” Hermione took the blank look on Draco’s face to mean that any further questioning would prove fruitless. “If you have other questions you’d like for Mister Malfoy to speak to, you may send them to my office. Thank you.”

She gripped his elbow and tugged him away from the reporters, who murmured lowly amongst themselves. Draco strode to keep up with her but even in her stilettos, she wildly out-paced him. She stepped into the lifts well ahead of him and Draco had to dive through the doors to make it inside. Once they reached the main floor of the Ministry, she kept up the grueling pace until they were outside in the smoggy London air, and he could finally grab her elbow, yanking her out of the crosswalk and the path of a shiny black cab. She collided with his chest.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I’m a bit touchy.”

He released her, and she brushed her hands down the front of her robes. “Well.” He breathed out. “That’s over. I’m… relieved.”

“Good,” she peeped. She didn’t look at him, choosing instead to sit on the steps of a small monument to some inconsequential Muggle royal, which was a few blocks away from the secret entrance to the Ministry.

“Are you… alright?” Draco stood at the base of the steps.

Hermione curled up her fingers into her palms. “We… won. We won. And still Gibbons insinuates defending you makes me some kind of saint! As if—UGH! As if you’re less of a person, and nothing your father did matters because… I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I’m so mad. What a piece of shit.” She clearly wanted to scream or something. Draco reached for her shoulder before he could stop himself. He grasped it and squeezed. When she looked up at him, her eyes were shining with frustrated tears.

“Please don’t cry,” he said softly, sitting beside her. “I cannot bear it. I… do think you’re a saint. For taking my case on, for helping me write my remarks and gathering so much evidence against my father.” He laughed. “Hell, if it weren’t for you, we never would’ve found three-quarters of our witnesses. You’ve got dogged determination, and I could not have done any of this without you.” His hand slid down her arm to her elbow. “You’ve spent the last six months of dinners discussing this case over Chinese food and formatting theories—I’m sure you’re long past ready to have normal cases again.”

She leaned into his touch. “I’m not, Draco. I’m not ready.” Hermione took his hand. “This case has been everything to me.”

“I understand.” But he didn’t, really. Not in the same way.

She nudged him with her shoulder. “Fuck what Jameson asked. What are you really feeling?”

Draco looked away.

Well?

He felt... like he had a weight pulling from his sternum which would eventually cause him to hunch like an old man long before his body truly gave out on him.

Like everything he had worked for was finished, and so… now what?

Like his mother would be proud of him, and missing her so much that the thought of her sprung tears in his eyes--if only she could be there with him.

He felt feverish.

He felt sad.

He felt high on accomplishment.

He felt hungry.

He felt hot and desperate to be touched and fuck if he wasn’t ready to unbutton his collar and breathe again.

“Too much to properly articulate.” He touched his top button but did not undo it.

She nodded once. “May I say something, not as your barrister… but--” she stopped. She looked up at him. He raised an eyebrow, but she took that as permission to continue. “I can’t listen to you talk anymore about having nobody. I can’t listen to it because I’ve spent the last six months--what is that? A hundred and… eighty days, or so?--caring very much about what you need.” She grazed his cheek. “I’ve represented some real gems, which happens when you start out as a public defender, and I am proud of the work that I did. But I failed you, because… it is not your best interest I have had in mind. It’s mine.

“Draco… do you not see how much you matter? To me? Don’t you feel it? If you don’t, it’s fine, I can live with that, but… you can’t spend the rest of your life believing nobody cares about you or what happens to you.” She searched his eyes, but he was too stunned to react. All he could do was stare at her. Hermione touched his cheek again and smiled sadly. “Alright. Well. Now you know, and… I should go. I don’t remember what it’s like to have a night off,” she said with a light laugh, tinged in sadness. They had truly spent nearly every single evening together working on his case… He had come to depend on the doorbell ringing at four pm, which signified she was waiting with takeout in one hand and an armful of files. She always had a determined smile on her face. She always forced him to peruse her latest finding before cracking open the reusable container with his food inside, and they marked the end of every evening with a glass of scotch. The next morning, her owl would appear with a scroll summarizing what they had discussed the night prior, and a promise she was looking into this thing or that, and she’d show him her findings that night--and did he want Chinese again, or would Indian do? The realization settled in him, and Draco did unbutton the collar of his shirt, then. He was sweating.

She was the part of his day he looked forward to the most. He would wait on a knife’s point for four o’clock to roll around, snapping at his assistant when she disturbed his anxious reverie, and the moment Hermione stepped inside his apartment, he would let out a breath that had been choking him all day long. He set his watch by her.

He dreamed about her.

He noticed when her hair was different, when she picked a new lipstick. He noticed when she shifted on her heels because her feet were aching because she had been standing beside him all day at the preliminary hearings. Everything about her was attuned in his mind.

“I think I love you,” he realized out loud, before the thought could bounce around in his brain long enough to decide if it was right to say. He stood abruptly and held out a hand to her. Her hand was shaking, but she took it, and Draco pulled her up. He walked down one step so she was eye-to-eye with him. “No… I know it. For certain.”

Hermione smiled softly. She touched the skin at his throat where his button used to sit, tracing the circular indent there. His Adam’s apple jumped. “You don’t have to say that.” She sounded desperately sad.

“I do. I can’t hide things from you, and I don’t want you to represent me anymore.”

Her eyes were teary again--why was she so sad? “Why not?” she sniffed.

“Conflict of interest.” He leaned down and kissed her. “I love you, Hermione.”

As the realization passed over her face that he was being honest, that he felt the weight of her words, she smiled brightly, and the tears streaming down her cheeks became happy ones. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her jaw, and hugged her off her feet. She laughed as her shoes fell to the ground with a clatter, and he spun her around. When he set her on her feet again, she barely came up to his chest, so he bent down to kiss her again, which was all he really wanted to do.

“Why are you so short?” he teased. She wrinkled her nose.

“That’s rich coming from a behemoth.” She put her arms around his neck and linked her fingers. “Say it again?”

Draco straightened, forcing her to stand on her tip-toes on his shoes. He brushed her hair off her face, which he had dislodged in the spin of his declaration. “I lied to the court, but I did so unconsciously. There is one person for whom I would kill, and who I know, without her having to say it, because her actions have proven it--loves me. And it’s you. Please don’t leave me tonight, or any night hereafter.”

Hermione nodded. She inclined her head to kiss him, and smiled wryly. “So. What should we get for dinner?”

“Ms. Granger, for once, let me feed you.”

It was a lot, he had to admit, to contend with in one day. There was a heaviness in him, for the finality of his father’s life and the end of the trial, but one thing would remain constant in his life. It was more than he could ever have hoped for.

Her.

*

Read the rest of the drabbles here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23957782/chapters/57620938

[apatheticmaplesyrup]

1-100

Thank you :D

This is gonna be a long post so continue at your own peril.

Is a kiss considered cheating?If it’s a proper snog, yeah.

Have you ever faked orgasm?Yeah.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?Probably.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?I don’t know if I’ll be rich, but hopefully rich enough to live comfortably.

Tell us some funny drunk story.I don’t think I really have any funny ones :’)

Why are you no longer together with your ex?I don’t know that there was a particular reason, it just didn’t work out.

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Natural causes.

What are your current goals?To get through uni and get a 2:1/1st, and try to lower my body fat (mainly for health right now).

Do you like someone?I don’t know, I think I might but I’m not sure.

Who was the last person to disappoint you?Myself for not going to the gym when I’ve got a membership and keep saying I will.

Do you like your body?I don’t like how it looks overall, but there are good parts to me. It’s worked relatively fine so far, so I’m happy with that.

Can you keep a diet?Not unless I can get past the first month of it.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?Did Barry the Bee really have sexual relations with Vanessa, and did Ken ever get to have yoghurt night?

Do you work?No.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?Chicken wraps probably.

Would you get a tattoo?Yeah, I want one but I’m just not sure what to start with.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?Food.

Can you drive?Yes.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?Idk man it’s been a while. *tiny violin plays in the distance*

What was the last thing you cried for?I think I was just really sad and really tired, there was no real trigger.

Do you keep a journal?Nope.

Is life fun?It can be sometimes. It can also be a lot of effort.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?I don’t know what this means by irrelevant but I don’t think it matters much unless it’s a crowded area.

What’s your dream car?This changes, but I do really want a Dodge Charger (either a 1970s one or the 2014 model)

Are grades in school important?Yes, because it can affect what direction you take for your career (i.e. choosing if/where to go to university), but it’s not the most important thing. You can get bad grades and still be successful and happy in life.

Describe your crush.Really chilled out, similar sense of humour to me and just quite easy to be around.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?I’m listening to the audiobook “How to Build a Universe: An Infinite Monkey Cage Adventure” by Brian Cox, Robin Ince and Alexandra Feachem. It’s impressive how they can talk about and explain these theories about space and time in a way that is accessible and often comedic.

What was your last lie?Probably something like “I can’t come out, I have a lot of work to do”.

Dumbest lie you ever told? When I was a kid, my mum caught me playing my Gameboy when I wasn’t supposed to, and I tried to lie and say I didn’t even though I clearly was.

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?I don’t feel comfortable doing it because a lot of people do judge others when they cry in public, but if it’s people I know then I don’t really feel it should be embarrassing.

Something you did and you are proud of?Cleaned and decorated my room in my new house.

What’s your favourite cocktail?I’d probably still go with long islands, purely because I haven’t found another one that I love yet.

Something you are good at?Complaining.

Do you like small kids?I don’t mind them, I’m just terrible at dealing with them.

How are you feeling right now?Like I should be writing my essay rather than procrastinating :’)

What would you name your daughter/son?I don’t have a clue.

What do you need to be happy?Financial and emotional stability and a healthy relationship.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Not right now, I’m feeling pretty chill.

What was the last gift you received?GTA 5 from my friends for my birthday

What was the last gift you gave?It was just a £20 playstation store card and we made him cocktails as well.

What was the last concert you went to?The Community Festival in Finsbury Park

Favourite place to shop at?Blue Inc.

Who inspires you?My parents, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

How old were you when you first got drunk?18.

How old were you when you first got high?Still haven’t.

How old were you when you first had sex?16.

When was your first kiss?When I was 14 or 15.

Something you want to do until the end of this year?Come up with ideas for music videos and sketches.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?Yes.

Post a selfie.Really not feeling it today, sorry.

Who are you most comfortable around?@robbiesheehanigan, @lucashaggettphotography, @i-dw and @th4t-f33ling

Name one thing that terrifies you.Heights.

What kind of books do you read?I usually read fantasy books, but books about space are also great.

What would you tell your 12 year old self?Get into a sport, it’ll help you in the future.

What is your favourite flower?Chrysanthemums.

Any bad habits you have?Oh yes. Definitely.

What kind of people are you attracted to?People who are kind, I’m comfortable being around, have a similar sense of humour, and I don’t really know apart from there being ‘something’ that makes them attractive to me.

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?Other than cod, I don’t really like seafood. I also really don’t like olives.

Are you in love?No.

Something you find romantic?Sitting in front of a fire together somewhere scenic and toasting marshmallows. Also stargazing. 

How long was your longest relationship? About 4 years.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? I’m just going to say three things in general.1 - When people are unnecessarily rude to waiting/bar staff.2 - When people only want to do things their way or no way, with no contingency plan or even listening to what other people have to say, even if it’s valid.3 - People who say they’ll do something, and constantly don’t.

What are you saving money for?A car or a new camera.

How would you describe your bad side?Rude, nasty to people, and short-tempered.

Are you actually a good person? Why?I hope so, but I don’t know how to judge that. I think I’m probably just a neutral person.

What are you living for?To see what happens next.

Have you ever done anything illegal?Aha, nice try cops

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?I probably have and can’t remember, so I’m sorry to anyone who I may have done that to.

Ever sent nudes?Nah I’m not that confident :’)

Have you ever cheated on someone?No.

Favourite candy?I could always go for a bounty or kit-kat.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!Not really, I mostly just look at my timeline.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?I do, I started playing Dark Souls 3 recently and it’s really fun but I’m not particularly good at it. My favourite game changes but I think the one I’ve always liked is Tom Clancy’s Hawx.

Favourite TV series?I still really like Community, though Tokyo Ghoul and Stranger Things are also amazing.

Are you religious? Does God exist?I used to be but now I’m not so much. I think there might be some type of higher power, but I don’t definitively believe that there is or isn’t.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?I answered this with the one about a book that’s impressed me :)

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?I think vegetarianism is admirable, probably more ethically correct and environmentally friendly. I don’t really know enough about veganism to make an informed comment, but it’d probably be a similar opinion. 

How long have you been on Tumblr?Probably like 5 years or so. I think I had it before then but never used it.

Do you like Chinese food?Yes.

McDonalds or Subway?McDonalds

Vodka or whiskey?Straight whiskey, vodka if it’s with a mixer

Alcohol or drugs?Alcohol

Ever been out of your province/state/country?Yes

Meaning behind your blog name?I watched Stranger Things 2 and Steve as the babysitter is my favourite thing. Also the last scene where he’s giving Dustin a pep talk is brilliant.

What are you scared of?Heights. A lot of other things too, but let’s just go with heights.

Last time you were insulted?Probably earlier today (part of banter with my friends)

Most traumatic experience ?I have no idea, probably the many times I ran into the door frame when I was younger.

Perfect date idea?Dinner and a movie (even if it’s at home) is a great idea. Stargazing and a campfire (and obviously food) would also be amazing, but I feel like that’d be once I know them a little better.

Favourite app on your phone?The Clock app, I would probably not wake up on time without it.

What colour are the walls in your room?White

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I watch YouTube, I’ve always loved Markiplier because he’s a lovely person (though I haven’t really watched his videos recently). I really like Shane and Ryan in Buzzfeed Supernatural.

Share your favourite quote.L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle

What is the meaning of life?I feel like that’s a question for Google.

Do you like horror movies?Not really, I can watch them and I think some of them are great, but I get scared by them really easily.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Yeah, I think the most recent time was when I turned 21 and/or came back to uni.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?Yeah, I’ve lived quite a good life. I have an amazing family who have always looked after me and shown me love, and I think I’m lucky to have that.

Can you keep a secret?Probably, depends on the secret. You got a confession to make?

Thank you for asking :) Also @robbiesheehanigan someone else also did the 1 to 100 thing so here you go xo

[the-fault-in-our-regards]

I'm sorry but, 1-100!! Love your blog x

eIs a kiss considered cheating? I personally think it is. 

Have you ever faked orgasm? Sort of. oh no. 

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Telekinesis or reading minds? Maybe even flying.  

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? I hope so. 

Tell us some funny drunk story. I have never been drunk!!

Why are you no longer together with your ex? He was a dick, oops. 

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?  Peacefully

What are your current goals? To truly be happy in life.

Do you like someone? I love someone o: 

Who was the last person to disappoint you? My parents. 

Do you like your body? Lol no

Can you keep a diet? I haven’t started one before. 

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Love each other conditionally, the world is going to shit. 

Do you work? Currently no. 

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh my, uhm, hm. I DON’T KNOW. POTAOES. 

Would you get a tattoo? Yea, one day maybe. 

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Band merch.

Can you drive? Yea. 

When was the last time someone said you were beautiful? Yesterday 

What was the last thing you cried for? I cried over dogs? 

Do you keep a journal? Nope. 

Is life fun? It has it’s moments

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I don’t mind, just don’t be obnoxious about it if you do do it.  

What’s your dream car? Haven’t thought about it. An Expensive one?

Are grades in school important? They don’t define a person, but sorta.

Describe your crush. He’s the best boy I’ve ever known and dated.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? The Lost City of Z (Really good movie!!)

What was your last lie? “Did you go and hangout with your bf” - No

Dumbest lie you ever told? That I was doing a project with my friends but I was seeing my then boyfriend. Stupidest decision I made 3 years ago. 

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? It is for me. 

31. Something you did and you are proud of? My photography!  (http://www.instagram.com/caitlin_channn) Check it out! 

What’s your favorite cocktail? Haven’t had alcohol. 

Something you are good at? Photography! 

Do you like small kids? Depends on how they act but yes. 

How are you feeling right now? Slightly tired. 

What would you name your daughter/son? Not sure yet! 

What do you need to be happy? Self love/acceptance 

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? Myself?

What was the last gift you received? Doggos

What was the last gift you gave? A collage/drawing

What was the last concert you went to? Panic! At The Disco! 

Favorite place to shop at? Hot Topic. Oh no. 

Who inspires you? So many people? 

How old were you when you first got drunk? none

How old were you when you first got high? none

How old were you when you first had sex? 17

When was your first kiss? When I was 14, in 8th grade. 

Something you want to do until the end of this year? College decision.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? Depression.

Post a selfie. Will do! 

Who are you most comfortable around? My boyfriend.  

Name one thing that terrifies you. Life. 

What kind of books do you read? Any kind! 

What would you tell your 12 year old self? Be happy with yourself.

What is your favorite flower? EVERY FLOWER

Any bad habits you have? I bite my nails.

What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind hearted souls

What was the last thing you cried for? The Office finale. 

Is there something you don’t eat? I can eat onions but I hate them.

Some food that truly disgust you? Onions, Asparagus, liver, ew.

Are you in love? yea. 

Something you find romantic? My boyfriend. 

How long was your longest relationship? like 11 months .-.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? 1. Many girls prioritize being skinny :( 2. Makeup? 3. Honestly everything. 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 1. They think they have a higher pain tolerance level? lol no 2. They think that periods are always the cause. 3. Some guys are dicks in general. 

What are you saving money for? Future purchases in general. 

How would you describe your bad side? Scary but pretty sad. 

Are you actually a good person? Why? I’d like to think so/selfless person

What are you living for? Myself. 

Have you ever done anything illegal? Not that I know of. 

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I hope not, but I probably have? 

Ever sent nudes? yea, I have.

Have you ever cheated on someone? NEVER

Favorite candy? Kit kat, Hershey cookies and cream, ALL CHOCOLATE 

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

Do you play any computer games? Undertale a long time ago.  

What is your favorite game? hmm, Wii Sports. 

Favorite TV series? I have so many, oh goodness. Supernatural, Stranger Things, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, Doctor Who, Black Mirror, THE OFFICE, and many more. I have too many ;-;

Are you religious? Not really. 

Does God exist? I’m not sure? 

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? Tenth of December by George Saunders, quite a good book! 

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? I don’t mind it. 

How long have you been on Tumblr? 5 years! 

Do you like Chinese food? Well I am half Chinese so yes! 

McDonalds or Subway? Vodka or whiskey? Alcohol or drugs?

Ever been out of your province/state/country? Hong Kong!

Meaning behind your blog name? The fault in our stars!

What are you scared of? Death and spiders? 

Last time you were insulted? Every now and then on Tumblr. 

Most traumatic experience? Depression. 

Perfect date idea? Honestly, just having a good time is ideal!

Favorite app on your phone? Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook messenger

What color are the walls in your room? Light light pink

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? I HAVE TOO MANY, AHHHHH

Share your favourite quote. “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” - Pam Beasley.

What is the meaning of life? To make lemonade when you’re handed lemons? What else? 

Do you like horror movies? YES.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Eh, no? 

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? Yea! 

Can you keep a secret? Of course. 

Thank you! 

[writersarenotpeople]

It has to get better somehow

“It has to get better. The way we treat each other and look out for each other. It has to get better somehow”.

I have little scars all over my body... I have some that my tattoos cover. I've attempted suicide, more than once. I've “survived” it I guess. I have a tattoo that says “just keep swimming;” because I needed it. The semi colon meaning I didn't choose to end my sentence. I think about suicide on almost a daily basis.

Watching 13 Reasons Why was incredibly hard for me. I read the book 10 years ago when I was 16 and it truly changed me as a person. I tried to get everyone I knew to read it. I personally think it should be required reading for high school freshman but of course most high schools actually banned it because of its mature content. The show impacted me deeply still and I am a 26 year old adult. I don't use the word triggered lightly, but I honestly was. It brought me back to my own sexual assault, my own bullying, my own absolute desolation and all the times I almost ended my life. I only got one arm in, and did it wrong when I tried to slit my wrists. I cleaned it up myself, and hid my arms... no one knew about that one. The other times, I've always had a close friend that talked me down, made me throw up all the pills and alcohol and watch me to make sure I didn't fall in to a coma. One of those friends is still my very best friend to this day. I still think about suicide every single day. It's a constant battle. Depression and anxiety is always an every day battle. It takes a support system, but honestly sometimes what stops me is my cat. Most of the time I think about where he'd go and I have to reevaluate. Hannah Baker didn't have a cat or dog to care for. Hannah Baker also was fictional.

13 reasons why may be fictional.... but I think it's story is so real and incredibly important. The book really opened my eyes to the domino effect that are our individual actions. I knew a guy that killed himself not long after what would have been my high school graduation. I had no idea what happened to him. I cried a lot when I found out, because in middle school he was one of my only life lines. He was one of the only people that truly showed me kindness when no one else would. He taught me to keep my head up and keep fighting, and he ended his own life just really a few years later. That's always stuck with me. I still think about it honestly all the time. You really truly never know whats going on in someone elses life and this show and the book its adapting are very much about that. The way we treat others can go a long way.

I think this show is so important for people to watch because the book did a lot, but this shows so much more. It truly shows all the sides of the story. It really delves into the mental illnesses, the bullying, and very importantly it talks about rape culture in our society. The victim blaming, the covering up and the shit that privileged white boys do and shouldn't get away with. You aren't meant to excuse any of the characters for their behavior, but you can at least see every side of the story and what makes the others tick, and it does help you see just how shitty most of them have it.

Some of my favorite additions came from making Clay have pretty severe anxiety issues. It was always there narratively I think, just only really obvious to those who suffer from it. They make it clear in the show. I liked that they made Tony gay. I like that they added in all these different family dynamics for everyone. They have a literal transition of someone who is poor who has absent parents who has to make themselves a frozen dinner and the next scene a loving parent with no money issues making their family dinner. They added in how suicide can also lead to other attempts of suicide by those impacted. The show just felt so real which is crazy, because I already felt that way about the book.

I also liked seeing and realizing that Hannah was a bit of an unreliable narrator in some cases in that Zach was just a stupid guy who was hurt and rejected and didn't know how to handle someone with real issues. She was the one that stopped showing up for hot chocolate sessions. She was the one that constantly pushed Clay away until even he was less sympathetic, and those are very real things that happen to someone who suffers from depression. We push people away and we know we are doing it and it sucks. This series also makes it obvious that mental illness is still a stigma that people aren't equipped to deal with. Guidance counselors don't know how to handle it properly. This is something in our society we need to fix, because Hannah never got the help she so desperately needed. No one pushed her to go get that help. She was also very good at hiding it from the people that would notice: her parents.  

There's many instances in the show that made me down right angry but I knew that that's exactly how people would react or say not react. Clay has a mental break at least a few times during the show and no one says or does anything. It reminded me of the opening line from “The Magicians” by Lev Grossman: “Quentin did a magic trick, nobody noticed.” It's one of my favorite quotes, and it's basically a metaphor for people having mental illnesses and nobody noticing. Or rather sometimes people do notice, they just don't care enough. Hannah says it on her last tape: “some of you cared, you just didn't care enough.” Most people who kill themselves or want to know that others care, they just don't seem to care enough and that's the worst part. Knowing you're hurting and others see the hurt and they don't say or do anything. I've been on the verge of tears or actually crying at work, and no one did a thing.

Episodes 9-13 are incredibly hard to watch. There are brutal scenes of rape, a crime scene, and they show Hannah’s suicide. Almost everyone I know that has a history with self harm had a hard time watching that scene, and not everyone could. It was silent, you could hear her struggle to cut the skin and how heavy her breathing got, and the relief she felt as she bled out. It was not easy for me to watch. If you can’t make it through those scenes, its okay. I feel like a stronger person for having watched the series, I watched it twice actually. I watched it without relapsing. I really hope people watch it and realize how they've acted, how others have acted, and just really dig deep into their soul. I hope young boys watch it and realize what they do to girls and learn that just because a girl doesn't say no, that it's consent. I really want people to learn to get help, or to reach out to others that need help. Like Clay said, “It has to get better somehow,” and I hope it does.

[darklarru]

all of them. just fckin.. all of them. every single question. 1-100. good luck comrade.

fuck u, here it is:

1.      Is a kiss considered cheating?

-if theykiss a boy idm.

2.      Have you ever faked orgasm?

-yeahlmao

3.      If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-shapeshifting

4.      Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-I fuckinhope so

5.      Tell us some funny drunk story.

-oh man,ive only been smashed once, and it was a night full of regrets and a lot ofcheating and gay stuff happened.

6.      Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-u knowwhat. fuck my ex, he was a manipulative cheating cunt and he broke up with meover snapchat.

7.      If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

-bathtuband sleeping pills, im out painlessly.

8.      What are your current goals?

-be asuccessful bitch and build myself up.

9.      Do you like someone?

-wheneverI think of feelings I take a shot so idk..

10.   Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-my ex.

11.   Do you like your body?

-eh imgetting there

12.   Can you keep a diet?

-no lmao

13.   If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-don’t discriminateagainst sex workers and treat them like actual people.

14.   Do you work?

-yep, gota retail job and everything.

15.   If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, whatwould it be?

-ayesalad, bc anything you cut up and put in a bowl is salad, so pizza salad, fruitsalad, ice cream salad, anything.

16.   Would you get a tattoo?

-hellyeah, im actually thinking about getting this floral one on my thigh, gottalike, tell my mum tho.

17.   Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-theperson I love,,

18.   Can you drive?

Ive onlyhad like, one driving test ever.

19.   When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-at therink on Friday? Someone said I was beautiful and that my ex didn’t deserve me:)

20.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-when I drinkI don’t cry, so ive been drinking a lot.

21.   Do you keep a journal?

-yep,serves as my receipts.

22.   Is life fun?

-ehhhhitll get there.

23.   Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-I don’t reallycare, just warn me so I have time to get out of there.

24.   What’s your dream car?

-somethingI don’t have to use petrol for.

25.   Are grades in school important?

-justnail ur finals and ur good.

26.   Describe your crush.

-its tooearly homie

27.   What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-WONDERWOMAN HOLY SHIT A+

28.   What was your last lie?

-im fine

29.   Dumbest lie you ever told? 

-idk, I normallytell the truth, its such an effort to lie.

30.   Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-no I doit all the time lmao

31.   Something you did and you are proud of?

-Teamedup with my Best Friend and Absolutely Called the shit out of my Ex out andfuckin roasted him.

32.   What’s your favourite cocktail?

-I haven’tdelved into cocktails too much yet, ive been drinking straight.

33.   Something you are good at?

-iceskating?? idk

34.   Do you like small kids?

-I hatekids so much

35.   How are you feeling right now?

-There

36.   What would you name your daughter/son?

-daughter:Lavender? Idk I just watched matilda and I was like what a pretty name, andboys: Christian?  

37.   What do you need to be happy?

-abillion dollars

38.   Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-my ex

39.   What was the last gift you received?

-does mycoworker buying everyone hot chocolates and frozen cokes during their shiftcount as a gift

40.   What was the last gift you gave?

-a fidgetcube?

41.   What was the last concert you went to?

-panic atthe disco in January :D

42.   Favourite place to shop at?

-ittotally was this gothic shop in Newtown, but then it moved and I don’t knowwhere it is anymore :/

43.   Who inspires you?

-myselfbitch

44.   How old were you when you first got drunk?

-18

45.   How old were you when you first got high?

-never

46.   When was your first kiss?

-when I was15? 16?

47.   Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-be amermaid, like fr, go follow mermaid_shelly on Instagram no joke.

48.   Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-dated myex

49.   Post a selfie.

-heres alink instead: http://darklarru.tumblr.com/post/161374174865/cat-cafe-aesthetic

50.   Who are you most comfortable around?

-my BestFriend

51.   Name one thing that terrifies you.

-to loseeverything I worked for

52.   What kind of books do you read?

-haventread a book in so long, but I like the fantasy genre

53.   What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-girl,girl, u gay as fuck

54.   What is your favourite flower?

-roses!!

55.   Any bad habits you have?

-speakingquietly

56.   What kind of people are you attracted to?

-peoplewho think the same as me

57.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-my ex :/

58.   Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-pickles,what r they doin, get outta here

59.   Are you in love?

-yeah imalways in love

60.   Something you find romantic?

-tealightcandles

61.   How long was your longest relationship? 

-like 3or 4 months

62.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-wereso,, bitchy.

63.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

-they don’tknow what the fuck is up, they don’t listen, they always horny, theyre kindaviolent, theyre more hardcore and aggressive physically.

64.   What are you saving money for?

-anothermermaid tail,,, but also a house I guess

65.   How would you describe your bad side?

-emotional,angry, violent, temperamental, not thinking,, idk

66.   Are you actually a good person? Why?

-sometimesI guess, I try not to be shitty, but some people fuckin deserve it.

67.   What are you living for?

-a future

68.   Have you ever done anything illegal?

-probably

69.   Do you like your body?

-yeahsometimes

70.   Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-notunless we were fighting

71.   Ever sent nudes?

-whohasnt

72.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

-I cheatedon a guy with girl and I was very drunk, but then we said same sex cheating wasokay

73.   Favourite candy?

-redfrogs, gummy bears

74.   Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-imbarely on this hell site

75.   Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-adarkroomwas one of my Faves

76.   Favourite TV series?

-w.i.t.c.h.what a Classic

77.   Are you religious? Does God exist?

-yeah, imchill w god.

78.   What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-I haven’tread a book in so long yall.

79.   What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-kudos tothem who r doin it but I really love chicken.

80.   How long have you been on Tumblr?

-sinceyear 9, so like, 2013

81.   Do you like Chineese food?

-I am Chinese

82.   McDonalds or Subway?

-subwayyyy

83.   Vodka or whiskey?

-fuuuuuuck,,,fucking love vodka but it makes my face screw up in a bad expression, and I lovefireball whiskey, but like, vodka gets me fucked up faster.

84.   Alcohol or drugs?

-alcohol,don’t do drugs kids

85.   Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-ya

86.   Meaning behind your blog name?

-I lovetypos

87.   What gets you up in the morning?

-spite.

88.   What are you scared of?

-a lot ofthings

89.   Last time you were insulted?

-wednesday

90.   Most traumatic experience ?

-my bf atthe time, was fuckin, chewin his toenails in his mouth, and I forgot bc he wasbein sweet n he stuck his tongue out to touch mine, n I stuck mine out too n I fuckni,,.,,,. touched the toenail w my mouth I nearly threw up, I felt my soul ejectfrom my body for a second.

91.   Perfect date idea?

-picnicdaate, and watching the stars and cuddling

92.   Favourite app on your phone?

-instagram?I check it the most.

93.   What colour are the walls in your room?

-white

94.   Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-daviddobrik tbh

95.   Share your favourite quote.

-ifsomeone tells you that they hurt you, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

96.   What is the meaning of life?

-when thestreets are empty and the moon is shining and nobody is awake and its chilly,but your alone and maybe the wind is blowing through the grass, or whatever.

97.   Do you like horror movies?

-fuck nah

98.   Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-I signedup for Netflix and didn’t tell her.

99.   Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-I amspecial

100. Can you keep a secret?

-ya justmake sure u tell me its important.

[sunflowers-love-wanderlust]

1-100

Is a kiss considered cheating? yes.

Have you ever faked orgasm? yessss.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? reading minds.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? nah. not rich.

Tell us some funny drunk story. i don’t have any really 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why are you no longer together with your ex? every single one of my exes have left me for someone else.

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? in my sleep

What are your current goals? to be 100% happy.

Do you like someone? way too much.

Who was the last person to disappoint you? myself.

Do you like your body? more than i did before.

Can you keep a diet? for a few months.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? show everyone you can love.

Do you work? yes.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? sushi.

Would you get a tattoo? i have 4 already.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? my favorite people.

Can you drive? yes.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? today i think.

What was the last thing you cried for? the cyst on my ovary burst.

Do you keep a journal? not anymore.

Is life fun? sure.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? huh? i mean i don’t do it.

What’s your dream car? ford f150

Are grades in school important? i’m not in school anymore but yeah.

Describe your crush. uh, my height kinda. cool as shit. best taste in music. tells me i’m appreciated. sad human. so sweet. hilarious. cute as hell.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? i just read “it” and it was pretty good.

What was your last lie? “it’s fine”

Dumbest lie you ever told? “i’m fine”

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? yes. but it happens.

Something you did and you are proud of? living.

What’s your favourite cocktail? i like beer and whiskey. i don’t normally drink cocktails.

Something you are good at? 🤫

Do you like small kids? yessss

How are you feeling right now? i’m good!

What would you name your daughter/son? idk. but i know middle names for them 🤷🏼‍♀️

What do you need to be happy? nothing. just self love.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? yes.

What was the last gift you received? a chakra thing for my car.

What was the last gift you gave? well technically i haven’t given it to them yet 🙄 but a shirt, essential oils, diffuser & salt lamp.

What was the last concert you went to? music midtown festival. i think bruno mars was last.

Favourite place to shop at? torrid. rue 21

Who inspires you? myself.

How old were you when you first got drunk? 15?

How old were you when you first got high?15?

How old were you when you first had sex? 14 with a girl. 17 with a guy.

When was your first kiss? 14 i think. w this guy i literally knew since i was in diapers.

Something you want to do until the end of this year? idk!

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? yep.

Post a selfie. okay.

Who are you most comfortable around? family, josh & jonathan.

Name one thing that terrifies you. not being enough.

What kind of books do you read? all kinds. but mostly horror.

What would you tell your 12 year old self? love yourself more.

What is your favourite flower? sunflower. always.

Any bad habits you have? smoking and biting my nails.

What kind of people are you attracted to? kind souls.

mat least that’s what i tell myself. i’m actually attracted to the emotionally unavailable ones w commitment issues that give me all the red flags.

What was the last thing you cried for? i wanted to give myself an at home hysterectomy

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? cottage cheese.

Are you in love? not yet.

Something you find romantic? showing effort.

How long was your longest relationship? 4 years on and off

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? just 3? lmao.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? same answer as above.

What are you saving money for? truck and land.

How would you describe your bad side? idk?

Are you actually a good person? Why? i think so. i try to make others feel valued, loved & less alone.

What are you living for? myself. finally.

Have you ever done anything illegal? yes.

Do you like your body? i’ve already answered this.

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? no

Ever sent nudes? yes

Have you ever cheated on someone? yes. emotionally.

Favourite candy? reese’s.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! nope.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? nope.

Favourite TV series? lucifer.

Are you religious? Does God exist? spiritual. & idk. maybe.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? it. it was okay

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? live your best life. i can’t do it though.

How long have you been on Tumblr? 11 ish years.

Do you like Chineese food? yes

McDonalds or Subway? subway.

Vodka or whiskey? whiskey

Alcohol or drugs? alcohol.

Ever been out of your province/state/country? yes.

Meaning behind your blog name? i love sunflowers and feel wanderlust.

What are you scared of? not being enough.

Last time you were insulted? the other day.

Most traumatic experience ? can’t share that.

Perfect date idea? riding to the beach & just getting to know each other.

Favourite app on your phone? snapchat probably.

What colour are the walls in your room? white.

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? charmed intuition tarot or shane dawson.

Share your favourite quote. i have too many.

What is the meaning of life? whatever you want it to be. i don’t think there’s one meaning.

Do you like horror movies? yes.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? so many times.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? yes

Can you keep a secret? yes

[walkmyspiritthrough]

Casablanca! The name itself conjures up a magical image of a place like none other.

You must remember this  A kiss is just a kiss; a sigh is just a sigh.  The fundamental things apply  As time goes by.

You’ll find film lovers talk about Casablanca with glittering eyes as if they were describing their first kiss or the one that got away. And it’s all because there’s something about the movie that speaks to them. Maybe it’s the theme of decency and dignity, that of lost love and a second chance, and of rediscovered idealism that runs through the film. Casablanca is perhaps love’s most popular tryst with cinema.

A Moroccan city. A Café engulfed in cigarette smoke. A white tuxedo. A trench coat and fedora. A shady past. A woman faced with a dilemma. A broken heart. A pistol. And Paris. These are the things Casablanca transformed into pop-culture icons.

Oh, and one more thing, there are going to be SPOILERS. But does that really matter? Casablanca is as popular as Shakespeare. You quote it in your daily life, you refer to it more than you refer to the scriptures. It’s not just a movie, it’s a way of life.

The opening of the film sets up the backdrop of a city which is a Mecca for the hopeful and at the same time, a breeding ground for the hopeless. It shows us how important Casablanca is to the people trying to escape the turmoil of the Second World War.

The two centrepieces of this story are Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund. And theirs is the same old story.

“I stick my neck out for nobody.”

That’s what Rick would have you believe. But behind this charade, hides someone almost the opposite. Someone who is so adamant to not feel, that he numbs himself with alcohol till he cannot. Someone whose every breath is mingled with the aftertaste of the cigarette that he has been smoking because he can’t bear to breathe the same air as the person he once was. Someone who is doing his best to hide his vulnerable side way beneath a tough exterior. But his eyes tell you the truth. Oh, don’t we all hide behind a perfectly sculpted masquerade?

Some people cope by changing themselves. Change can do wonders, it can be liberating. Somewhat therapeutic. You surround yourself with change, wrapping it around yourself till who you were can’t be seen anymore. You grow a beard on a jawline that someone once loved. You change your hair, its colour. Everything. You get yourself some glasses, new frames to put your eyes on display. Or you start wearing a leather jacket and a pair of sick sunglasses all the time like some edgy youth, covering yourself in darkness. You get yourself new clothes, new shoes, new tattoos. Or you go goth. Tiny t-shirts become oversized shirts that you disappear into. You transform yourself till you can’t recognize any hint of past lives and loves on yourself. You order a different kind of food or stop eating altogether. You start sleeping a lot or you become an insomniac. As long as it wasn’t what you did before or the way you did it before. The music you listen to changes. You take to binging on fast food to calm your nerves instead of reaching for that cigarette. All is fresh and new and clean. You’re sterilized now, no more a mess. You are clinical, cold, calculated. But you can’t change who you are inside. Beneath everything on the surface, there you are. Same old you. Not new at all. Same old pretty thoughts. Same unshakeable, unnoticeable little tendencies. Your constant habit of shaking your legs when you can’t cope with the dull pace of things. That little dance you do when you’re unsure of something. How you pick at the skin on your fingers when you’re frustrated. The way you can constantly be found on the balcony at 2 a.m. trying to breathe. You’re still very much there. Despite trying so hard to run from yourself, all you end up with is a stranger staring back at you from the mirror and the same old problems whispering to you in your bed at night. You’re still very much in there. So, it doesn’t come as a surprise that Rick does stick his neck out for people. He sticks it out every time someone is in trouble, or whenever someone needs him. And perhaps everyone suspects him of this kindness, this gentleness…maybe, that’s why everybody goes to Rick’s. 

Ilsa, on the other hand, is lively and not afraid to speak her mind out. But there’s a vulnerability in her eyes…eyes which have a mischievous gleam. Eyes which are starry, curious and, hopeful. Always raised to the heavens. Always searching for more. Never looking, always gazing. Always lingering on Rick. Hiding behind fluttering lashes and subtle glances. Always aimed at him. Laughing, bright and, empty. If you look deep enough you’ll find a pair of broken wings. They speak her mind even when she doesn’t. They scream. Getting louder with each pain filled tear that rolls down her flushed cheeks. Broken, beaten but, still hopeful.

The greatest folly of mankind has been its tendency to sympathise with the ones who sulk in the corner. We all feel for the Ricks of the world and in doing so we can be unduly tough on the Ilsas. Perhaps we like the idea of a person who doesn’t want to let go because we empathize with him…we see in Rick the person we were or perhaps still are. We romanticize pain and heartbreak. Whereas, it’s much tougher to pick up those shattered pieces and to place them back together all by yourself and move on. The guilt alone can drive a person mad. Just like paper, people burn from the edges, until there is nothing left but a dying flame.

“Leave him alone, Miss Ilsa. You’re bad luck to him.”

-Sam, Casablanca

And when Sam plays ‘As time goes by’, I can’t tell what glitter more, her earrings or her eyes. And when he begins to sing it, a sadness is cast on her eyes. Perhaps I have never seen a sight as sad. It’s a pain that presents itself whenever both Ilsa and Rick share the screen.

And when two lovers woo  They still say, “I love you.”  On that you can rely  No matter what the future brings  As time goes by.

When Rick hears the song, he comes marching in. And then he sees Ilsa, a dramatic musical chord marks their close-ups, and the scene plays out in resentment, regret and the memory of a love that was real.

“Their eyes met and they stared together at each other, alone in space.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

And then we get those flashback scenes. We get Paris! The Rick we see is a complete juxtaposition of the Rick we saw in Casablanca. He is head-over-heels in love and we understand why he yearns for the past to wash over his bleak present. The flashback scenes capture the sensation of a romanticized remembrance…coloured and enhanced by longing. In reality, nothing could ever be this perfect and romantic and beautiful. But, then again, it’s broadcast to you from the confines of the mind of a drunk, lonely café owner. No wonder it looks pure, intimate, and beautiful – the antithesis of his own Café.

  Robin: “If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing.”

Ted: “What’s that?”

Robin: “Timing. But timing’s a bitch!”

-How I Met Your Mother

We see promises being made and then being broken. And I swear to god that as the rain washed the ink off of that letter, I could feel it erode Rick’s soul as well. The words cry the tears that tough-guy Rick can’t and infuse the scene with an ineffable feeling of loss and things falling apart.

“She had tricked him. She had made him leave his old self behind and come into her world, and then before he was really at home in it but too late to go back, she had left him stranded there–like an astronaut wandering about on the moon. Alone.”

-Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia

lsa’s abandonment broke Rick, and the lack of catharsis made him bitter. He’s caught in a Sisyphean rut, left to perpetually drink his sorrow away. He is not above being petty towards Ilsa. But he wears his heartbreak on his sleeves. We understand the way he behaves, especially in front of Ilsa.

Angry, and half absolutely in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Moonlight and love songs  Never out of date.  Hearts full of passion  Jealousy and hate. 

Casablanca also relies a lot on Paul Henreid who plays the aged-beyond-his-years resistance leader, Victor Laszlo. The film needs us to not hate Laszlo even though he’s standing in Rick’s path to a happy ending with Ilsa. He’s the white knight.

Between a Rick and a Hard Place

And now, let’s talk about my favourite part of Casablanca: Claude Rains! He plays Captain Louis to perfection. He is witty, quick, funny, sardonic and yeah, a bit deviant. But even he has his heart in the right place. Casablanca is as much a redemption tale of Louis as it is of Rick. Oh, and the bromance! I ship Rick and Louis more than I ship Rick and Ilsa. It is, after all, a beautiful friendship.

  Woman needs man  And man must have his mate  That no one can deny.

I read up a bit about the movie after watching it and while there’s certainly a lot of lore about the making of the movie, there’s something really inhumane. Every bit of press printed at the time of its release refers to Sam (Dooley Wilson) as a “negro”. I couldn’t believe it. And while it grossed me out, it also made me realise how nobly the movie treats Sam (something that I thankfully hadn’t picked up on the first time I saw it, and perhaps this means that there’s still some hope left for humanity). Every time I write one of these things, I find myself digressing about things not pertinent to the movie but then, isn’t that the point of movies? Sparking conversations?

Oh, it’s getting too long. Perhaps we should talk about that ending.

It’s still the same old story  A fight for love and glory  A case of do or die.  The world will always welcome lovers  As time goes by.

There’s something inherently likeable about stories with happy endings. In most of our dreams, the underdog overcomes all the obstacles on his path to glory, the hero slays the monster, and the boy gets the girl. Well, those are, for the lack of a better term, flights of fantasy. In real life, things seldom pan out the way we want them to. We don’t get a deus ex machina in real life. Heck, in my 23 years of existence, I haven’t had a single decent haircut! And if art is supposed to imitate life then why do most movies end on a note that makes us go all gooey on the inside?

Man has always looked towards art as a mean to escape his reality. And thus, storytellers perfected the art of storytelling by accommodating man’s need for happy endings. But Casablanca doesn’t follow suit!

We all look up at the characters on the silver screen with glittering eyes. We identify with the characters and we revel in their success, we feel for them when life knocks them down and if the story is told effectively we feel whatever the character is supposed to feel, be it love, betrayal or loss. How do you trudge through mile after mile of meadow without disturbing a single blade of grass?

Split

Casablanca hooks you by making you invest in their love story…and then it reels you in by unselfishly renouncing it, as a contribution to the great cause of defeating the Nazis. Hook, Line and Sinker!

The bittersweet ending has gone the way of the black-and-white cinematography. If it were to be made today, Casablanca would end with Rick and Ilsa escaping on the plane after dodging a hail of gunfire and perhaps Rick would even indulge in some Gun-Fu! Even (500) Days of Summer ends with Tom meeting Autumn. But Casablanca does something that’s almost unimaginable, it lets the star-crossed lovers be. And yet, it is one of the most beloved love stories of all time.

“Baby, You’re Gonna Miss That Plane” -Before Sunset

We all feel it in our bones that Rick and Ilsa belong together and that they will always be incomplete without each-other but, Rick lets her go. Rick does so because, in Laszlo, he sees the man he could have had been had he not abandoned himself to self-pity. And when Ilsa is tempted to renounce her ideals, Rick tells her: “You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.” In Rick, we see a man who speaks from experience…in him, we find the voice of a man who has been hiding behind a façade of indifference.

“I promise you, I’ll never lose myself to self-pity again.”

-Daisy, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

They’ll always have Paris. They didn’t have it, they, they had lost it until she came to Casablanca. They got it back that night.

It will be a very long night indeed. But it will end. In the morning when the sun rises, sometimes it’s hard to believe there ever was a night.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers  As time goes by.

I remember every detail... Casablanca! The name itself conjures up a magical image of a place like none other. You must remember this 

[fyeaitsme-blog]

1-100!

100 questionsIs a kiss considered cheating? YesHave you ever faked orgasm? YesIf you could have one superpower, what would it be? Mind reading 😈Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? No, I'll be drowning in student debt lol. Tell us some funny drunk story. Don't have one! Found out the bad way that I'm allergic to alcohol :( Why are you no longer together with your ex? I made school my priority instead of him so he didn't feel loved enough..If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? In my sleep pls or anyway without pain What are your current goals? I just wanna hear back from this internship dude 😭 I just wanna know did I get it or nah cause that job is goals. Do you like someone? Yes Who was the last person to disappoint you? An ex-friend Do you like your body? YesCan you keep a diet? Yes If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Hey, you are all loved. Don't forget that. Do you work? Yes. Two jobs. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Hot wings and celery Would you get a tattoo? Yes. Planning on getting one in January for my 20th birthday. Woot woot. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? My parents' happiness or charity. Something good for the world. Can you drive? Uhm, yes but a friend told me "Asian drivers, no survivors" so...When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Two weeks ago What was the last thing you cried for? A friend Do you keep a journal? Kind of. It's a private blog called Jenournaling. Is life fun? Hell yeah when I'm not working haha Is farting in front of people irrelevant? No. Only in front of best friends haha. What’s your dream car? Audi R8 or BMW i8 ❤️❤️❤️ Are grades in school important? YesDescribe your crush. He has nice eyes and a caring soul. He's funny and smart. Everything about him is soft... his tone, his facial features, his hair..No words can really describe the giddy and peaceful feeling I have when I'm around him. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Slevin What was your last lie? Can't remember... haven't told many lies in a longggg time Dumbest lie you ever told? Uh.... I don't know. If i lie, i try to make sure it doesn't sound dumb...?Is crying in front of people embarrassing? In front of strangers, yes. Close friends? Nah. Something you did and you are proud of? Creating a digital fragmented collage about cultural identity and getting published! What’s your favourite cocktail? Moscow mules if that's considered a cocktailSomething you are good at? Kayaking & Eating & Definitely sleeping :) Do you like small kids? The cute, good ones. Not the spoiled ones that run around the house and doesn't listen to anyone. How are you feeling right now? Fullllll. I just had dinner. What would you name your daughter/son? Not really sure... maybe X and let them change their name when they're 18. What do you need to be happy? To be ok alone Is there some one you want to punch in the face right now? Kind of, yeah. but I don't think I can ever hurt anyone again :( What was the last gift you received? An orange milkshake from Arby's :) What was the last gift you gave? A metal plaque saying World's Greatest Teacher to my manager ❤️What was the last concert you went to? Charlie Puth Favourite place to shop at? ZaraWho inspires you? Lucy Liu How old were you when you first got drunk? Never got shit-faced before How old were you when you first got high? Never got high How old were you when you first had sex? 18 When was your first kiss? Hmm.... I don't remember. It was a while back... like... 12? 14? Something you want to do until the end of this year? Follow a plant based diet Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? Yes. Don't we all have that? But no regrets though... everything that has happened has made me who I am today Post a selfie. Uhhhhhh.... ok will do. Who are you most comfortable around? Mah 2 Best friends :) Name one thing that terrifies you. Cockroaches What kind of books do you read? historical for work and usually they're almost always borderline conspiracy What would you tell your 12 year old self? Be more considerate of others, you asshole. What is your favourite flower? Lily's breath Any bad habits you have? I bite my nails when I'm nervous What kind of people are you attracted to? Smart, humble individuals who aspire to do something great with their lives. What was the last thing you cried for? A friend... is this a repeat question? Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Yes... duck fetus, also known as balut and insects. Are you in love? I wish. I heard it was great. Something you find romantic? Just sitting somewhere quite as we watch the skyline 🌃 How long was your longest relationship? Ahhhhh.... official relationship would be 3 months.. and unofficial would be something that's been on and off for about 4 years What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Chattiness, judgmental, liesWhat are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Cockiness, doesn't understand the female mind, cowardiceWhat are you saving money for? Traveling How would you describe your bad side? Dark and twisted. Depressed. Sad. Are you actually a good person? Why? To an extent. I try to live a good, simple life. I don't really mess with anyone and stay in my lane. I've been drama free since junior year of high schoolWhat are you living for? I want to do good for the world and humanity. Have you ever done anything illegal? Maybe Do you like your body? Yes. This is totally a repeat question. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? Yes and if I see them again I want to say I'm sorry :( Ever sent nudes? HAHAHAHHA. yes.Have you ever cheated on someone? No Favourite candy? Swedish fish Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Nope. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? LoLFavourite TV series? Elementary Are you religious? Does God exist? No and maybe? What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? Ecocide. Yes! It's eye-opening. Just read the back cover summary. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Trying to be vegannnnnnn How long have you been on Tumblr? Years... on and off Do you like Chineese food? Hell mother fucking yeah and DIM SUM. McDonalds or Subway? Subway Vodka or whiskey? Whiskey Alcohol or drugs? Drugs Ever been out of your province/state/country? YesMeaning behind your blog name? It's just me man. What are you scared of? Being forgotten. Being a failure. Last time you were insulted? Haha... every day :( Most traumatic experience ? Getting bit by a dog and then going to some weird voodoo doctor ._. When I was freaking 4. Still have nightmares sometimes. Perfect date idea? Oh, anything' cool as long as we're laughing and having fun! Favourite app on your phone? Tumblr :) What colour are the walls in your room? Beige Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? Yes. Jenn Im Share your favourite quote. There's too many!! Here's one from one of my favorite poems! "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old rage should burn and rave at close of day." What is the meaning of life? Make good with the life you have. Do you like horror movies? YesHave you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yes. I was crying Do you feel lucky or special in a way? Lucky to be where I am in life Can you keep a secret? Always.

[yamesutya]

1-154 all of them!! Because I want to know everything!! what the heck! I love you, have a lovely night :)

LMAO ANON YOU CRAZY I LOVE YOU THOUGH THANK YOU HAHA

(lol I’m working my way through them, it’s not quite done yet. ANON YOU BETTER SEE THIS LOL)

1. Full nameSonia Fan (that’s it, no middle name)

2. Zodiac signleo

3. 3 Fears bugs, the ocean, being alone/forgotten/left behind

4. 3 things I lovepuppies, tacos, traveling

5. 4 turns onsnice eyes, a good sense of humor, being open-minded, nicely kept hair (particularly the swooped up style that hector used to have)

6. 4 turns offs lack of communication, unfaithfulness, racism/general offensive behavior/lack of understanding of others, poor taste in sports teams lmao 

7. My best friend my roommate!

8. Sexual orientationstraight

9. My best first datelol ok well this might sound confusing but I’ve never really officially dated anyone (to me this means officially bf/gf), but I’ve gone on a nice date on valentine’s day and the relationship didn’t end up being weird even though it didn’t work out… we just went to the movies and dinner

11. What do I miss
LONDON, all the places I’ve traveled mostly… OOH, the animes I finished recently because I need them to come back RIGHT NOW

12. What time were I born
I actually don’t remember… 

13 Favourite colour purple

14. Do I have a crush
hm, not really, kind of still like the guy I was talking to a while ago but ATM it’s best I just focus on myself

15. Favourite quote
this isn’t necessarily my favorite, but one I’ve always remembered and liked is “the past is in the past, let it fucking GO”

16. Favourite place
london, hands down, can you tell? 

18. Do I use sarcasm
hahaha oh boy do I ever I’ve been sarcastic since day 1

19. What am I listening to right now
irl nothing lol 

20. First thing I notice in new person
their smile, how they carry themselves 

21. Shoe size
teeny tiny, 5-5 ½, sometimes a 6

22. Eye colour
brown

23. Hair colour
dark brown

24. Favourite style of clothing
anything in the color black lmao I kid you not. comfy, clean but cute and stylish I guess, I’m pretty basic tbh 

25. Ever done a prank call?
noooo

26. What colour of underwear I’m wearing now?
I had to check lmao, white

27. Meaning behind my URL
hector is the (albeit problematic but lovable) OG arsenal fav, he’s not the first reason I looked into arsenal, but he is what hooked me 

29. Favourite song
honestly I have a few, my most recent jams have been La Carretera (Prince Royce), Ya Me Enteré (Reik ft. Nicky Jam), Nunca Me Olvides (Yandel), aaand Caroline (Aminé) randomly

lots of latin music since I’ve had the local latin station on a lot lol

30. Favourite band
This Century, Marianas Trench 

31. How I feel right now
a little stressed, but doing ok

32. Someone I love
my parents

33. My current relationship status
single, a little confused and sad, but still sort of ready to mingle

34. My relationship with my parents
I get cranky when I stay at home too much these days, but it’s good so far and I love them, I miss them every time I leave. I don’t tell them enough but I’m super thankful for the life they’ve given me, I graduate soon and I know when that happens and I see them I’m going to be emotional 

36. Tattoos and piercings?
used to have my ears pierced, no tattoos  

Tattoos and piercing i want
one day I’ll probably get my ears pierced again, and I actually do want a few tattoos even though when I was younger I never thought I would. I want some purple flowers on my wrist, and potentially ones involving arizona, where I’m from, maybe my astrological sign or some kind of soul animal, but I’m not sure about those so it’d be a while if I were to get the last two

37. The reason I joined Tumblr
my friend had one and it looked fun lol. and I was just getting into kpop 

38. Do I and my last ex hate each other?
um. he’s not even really an ex since we were still figuring things out. but we’re a bit awkward. we’re just both dumb and stubborn tbh

39. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
i have occasionally

40. Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
it’s my dad, so kind of yes lol

41. When did I last hold hands?
october…?

42. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
if I’m not showering I can get ready in 20 minutes but it’s nothing fancy

43. Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?
yes actually

44. Where am I right now?
my apartment kitchen table 

45. If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
probably my roommate 

46. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
reasonable

47. Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
not at the moment

48. Am I excited for anything?
my sports classes, nervous-excited for graduation, spring break…

49. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
yesss, he is my self-titled gbf actually lol

50. How often do I wear a fake smile?
when I’m working games for my athletics department internship haha, it’s not super forced but I do smile a little harder purposefully

51. When was the last time I hugged someone?
today! some of my fellow senior friends because almost graduating is weird

52. What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else rightin front of me?
it would be real bad, I’m not good at taking things like that. I’d have to leave, if I was drunk I’d probably cry and potentially throw up. this is only because the last person I kissed I really liked, if it was a person I randomly made out with one time it wouldn’t be that bad

53. Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
probably the guy I keep talking about in this, he is a good person who can be trusted, I probably just trusted him with too much of me when we both weren’t ready for each other (ew was that too deep I’m sorry lol)

54. What is something I disliked about today?
being too tired to properly read as much for my homework as I had wanted, boo :(

56. What do I think about most?
at the moment, my future, and also the animes I’ve recently watched 

57. What’s my strangest talent?
I can lick my elbow and I have super flexible/hyper-extended knees (idk are these even talents lmao)

58. Do I have any strange phobias?
that one where you don’t like tons of tiny holes in things

59. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?I’d be lying if I said just behind, but I do like taking pictures since I take pretty good ones, so it’s a little of both. I like attention though so mostly in front haha unless I’m doing dumb things

60. What was the last lie I told?
I said I’d bring in the routes I was supposed to deliver posters to for my internship, but I’m going to making up notes and turning it in to get paid even though I didn’t deliver any, oops 

61. Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
video chatting, I hate talking on the phone for some reason

62. Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
not really, I’m not against believing in them, I just don’t really think about them much

63. Do I believe in magic?hmmmmmm yes…

64. Do I believe in luck?
yeah, I’d say I do, I believe in fate a little at least

65. What’s the weather like right now?
chilly

66. What was the last book I’ve read?
I recently restarted Soccernomics, but I haven’t had time to read again lately

67. Do I like the smell of gasoline?
not really

68. Do I have any nicknames?
not any that have stuck

69. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
I’m a baby, nothing worse than cuts, bruises, scrapes, etc. 

70. Do I spend money or save it?
lol I’m not the worst but I’m a spender

71. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
yes!

72. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
one of my G2 pens

73. Favourite animal?
DOGS ALL THE DOGS, but also otters, lions and foxes, red pandas… 

74. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
watching youtube videos lol

75. What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
um…? no answer? idk

76. What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?


How can you win my heart?


What would I want to be written on my tombstone?


What is my favourite word


My top 5 blogs on tumblr


If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would Isay?


Do I have any relatives in jail?


I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good,and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice!What is that power?


What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?


What is my current desktop picture?


Had sex?


Bought condoms?


Gotten pregnant?


Failed a class?


Kissed a boy?


Kissed a girl?


Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?


Had job?


Left the house without my wallet?


Bullied someone on the internet?


Had sex in public?


Played on a sports team?


Smoked weed?


Did drugs?


Smoked cigarettes?


Drank alcohol?


Am I a vegetarian/vegan?


Been overweight?


Been underweight?


Been to a wedding?


Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?


Watched TV for 5 hours straight?


Been outside my home country?


Gotten my heart broken?


Been to a professional sports game?


Broken a bone?


Cut myself?


Been to prom?


Been in airplane?


Fly by helicopter?


What concerts have I been to?


Had a crush on someone of the same sex?


Learned another language?


Wore make up?


Lost my virginity before I was 18?


Had oral sex?


Dyed my hair?


Voted in a presidential election?


Rode in an ambulance?


Had a surgery?


Met someone famous?


Stalked someone on a social network?


Peed outside?


Been fishing?


Helped with charity?


Been rejected by a crush?


Broken a mirror?


What do I want for birthday?


How many kids do I want and what will be their names?


Was I named after anyone?


Do I like my handwriting?


What was my favourite toy as a child? 

Favourite Tv Show?


Where do I want to live when older?


Play any musical instrument?


One of my scars, how did I get it?


Favourite pizza toping?


Am I afraid of the dark?


Am I afraid of heights?


Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?


Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in theend?

What I’m really bad at


What my greatest achievements are


The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me


What I���d do if I won in a lottery


What do I like about myself


My closest Tumblr friend


Something I fantasise about my ex

Ask me stuff!

[songsofhartbig-blog]

all from the aesthetic ask list (:

BLESS YOUR SOUL I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?  - about an hour ago, accompanying myself on guitar! Toying with the idea of a cover album ;)

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - This one is gonna be really sad but I would wanna know what song was playing when my best friend got into a car accident 

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - That’s a really tough one, honestly. Probably just making it to this point.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - The first one that came to mind when I read this is one of my favorite ones with my best friend. We were at a house party back in May, quite drunk, having a good time. We were socializing with different people for a few minutes, and suddenly I hear her yelling for me, and when we find each other, all she does is hold up a box of the card game Uno and goes, “FUCKING PLAY UNO WITH ME!!” (Uno was like one of our things because we’re dumb). So, of course, I was like “HELL FUCKIN YEAH!!” Drunk Uno at a house party, and we got a pretty big game going, but people started losing interest so it ended up just being me and her playing for a few more minutes. So “the only ones at the house party playing Uno” became a joke and one of my favorite stories/memories :)

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - I feel like I would, but I honestly couldn’t answer what I would change. This is one of those situations where it’d be difficult to choose until you’re truly in the situation.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Of course! I haven’t gotten as far as to really rank anything, but the top ones would probably be to travel to so many different states/countries, skydive (basic but true), and zipline!

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - The first person that came to mind when I read this one is a certain someone. I won’t specifically say their relationship to me, but let’s just say we’re…close. Their soul radiates sunshine; constantly brightening people’s days, whether they intend to or not. It just comes natural. By far one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, this person does not have a mean bone in their body. They’re funny in such a unique way, and it works for them, and always has me cracking up. So supportive in everything - for example I was really drunk one night and I was texting this person and told them I was gonna sit down and write a movie, and their response? “Write that movie, I’ll help if you need me to!” Not only things like that, but has been helping me with big life decisions too. Their smile can light up the darkest night, their eyes are big and beautiful and anyone could stare into them for hours. Their hugs could melt a frozen heart. I’m so lucky to know them.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - Definitely. I have a very loving family that have provided and still provide the best they can for me, while instilling good values and morals in me

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - I don’t think it was very long ago, maybe like 3 weeks ago?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - The person I described in the pantone question. The description of them should be a good explanation as to why :)

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - I’ve never done it before but who’s to say it won’t happen at some point

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - Funny enough, it was with the person I described in the pantone question, it was on New Years Eve (I’m always up at 3 AM but no one else usually is to talk to), and I was in bed, VERY plastered, going through twitter, and the person texts me out of nowhere (different quotes are the multiple texts): “luuuvvv uuuu” “so much” “i hope you had a good night” “you honestly made mine” “happy new year❤️” and then for like half an hour we drunkenly continued talking about how much we love each other and how lucky we are to be in each other’s lives. It was quite cute.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - That’s so much pressure. I honestly can’t even answer that.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - BEAUTIFUL. RESPECT AND APPRECIATE BROWN EYES. FROM THE GOLDEN BROWNS TO THE DARK BROWNS.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - “It’s not the end, I’ll see your face again” - a line from one of my favorite songs of all time, and a nice reminder that my best friend’s passing wasn’t the full end, and I’ll see her again someday.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - U ok?

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - I know I would start with buying a lot of records and clothes and travel a lot because I have low impulse control

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I definitely am. I think of it as like a blessing and a curse, sometimes. It’s good to be forgiving and let bygones be bygones but I’ve definitely been guilty of forgiving people who didn’t deserve my forgiveness.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - It’s 2 AM so we’re gonna shorten this to like a few words: you’re gonna regret that.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - punk definitely, even though I’m hardly even punk lol

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - I love tattoos! I have two and definitely want more, and I really like them because they tell a story in at least a small way. Significant tattoos tell a story, and even ones that don’t necessarily have meanings have a story - the person likes that design enough to put it on their skin. Piercings I have no problem with. I don’t personally have any but who am I to judge people who have them? They’re expressing themselves.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - Not at all, only foundation to cover up my blemishes and such. I don’t wear a lot of makeup bc I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m constantly running late already, so adding a makeup routine to that would just be…bad

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - I’m gonna be 100% honest: One Direction really effected my life in some great ways. Not only do I love their music, and they’re some good lookin boys, but the common likeness to them is the reason I have some of the friends that I do, and the reason I’m very close to some of my best friends.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - BE NICE TO PEOPLE, IT’S NOT THAT HARD. 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I’ve been to Justin Bieber (I was 11), Warped Tour twice, We The Kings, All Time Low twice, One Direction twice, 5 Seconds of Summer twice, Ed Sheeran, Panic At The Disco, and Bo Burnham (Im counting that as a concert cause he does music). They all made me feel a lot of different things, but to keep it short and sweet since it’s late and Im answering every question; I remember feeling pure joy and euphoria during all of them.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - Well, of course I would want a letter from my passed on best friend, saying everything she’d want to get off her chest. But if it has to be someone living, I don’t even know. There’s a lot of people in the world that I wanna hear a lot of things from.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - I have a desk, and it’s pretty organized, only because the only things on it are a lamp, my laptop, wallet, car keys, alarm clock, bracelets, and glasses

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - get in pajamas, wash my face, brush my teeth, slump out. Nothing very amazing lmao

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - my questionable actions lol

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - funny that this is a question because I’ve been debating doing something new. Probably just a tad bit lighter and shorter. Nothing crazy for now

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - Again, so many people to choose from. Too many, and I’m tired (sorry I have a tendency to get boring)

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - 1) my best friend back. Probably could’ve guessed that one. 2) happiness and success for everyone 3) the return of the original That’s So Raven

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - honestly probably this past year. I was broke so I couldn’t buy a costume, but I was going to a Halloween party so I needed to throw one together. Borrowed one of my grandpa’s hawaiian shirts, threw on a baseball hat, wore socks and sandals, put a camera around my neck, and BAM. Tourist.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - Somehow, at least that I can remember, I’m pretty good at not doing *very* terrible things when I’m drunk/high/both. Probably the worst was when cops were at a house party and we were all running, I saw half a bottle of Bacardi on the table I was running past so drunk me took it LMAO

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - Probably only see one person, because there’s too much good music to be limited to one song. The person? I’ll get back to you on that one.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. - yes, but it was with someone that didn’t love me back. And as much as that hurt, it was kind of nice knowing I can feel emotions - like when I got butterflies when I saw them, or when I smiled so big because their name popped up on my phone.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - The only reason I wouldn’t rock really really short hair is because I already hate how I look with my hair in a ponytail, so I can’t imagine how much I’d hate super short hair on myself. But other than that, hell yeah

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - we actually don’t have a Starbucks where I am (closest one is like 30-45 minutes away in a different city), so I’m gonna give you my Dunkin Donuts order: caramel latte, hot when it’s cold out, iced when it’s warmer out. Would definitely trust my neighbor to order it for me because we go to Dunkin together all the time :)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - The people in it

Thank you, kind anon, for letting me ramble about myself for entirely too long! Very much appreciated, love you!! :)))