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#quite literally just fell to my knees
lesleymanville · 1 year
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@iamzoewinters
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kenobihater · 7 months
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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?
#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both#my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been#subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some#stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing#the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and#honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my#oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would#be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey#my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder#this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it#len speaks
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won4kiss · 1 month
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── ❝ ꒰ 𝒟𝑂 𝐼 𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑁𝐴 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊.ᐣ ៸៸﹙ 심재윤 ﹚ ᶻ𐰁
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GENRE ៸៸ fluff & angst ៸ oneshot ﹔ SYPNOSIS┆in which your brothers best friend whom you’ve always had feelings for comes back this summer, except somethings’ very different .ᐟㅤ ꒰ WORD COUNT﹕5265 ꒱── 𝓦ARNING(S) not edited ៸ kissing ៸ pet names ៸ misunderstandings ៸ . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ⊱ LIBRARY . . . ﹕LUNA 💭 — i can’t believe this is actually 5k words.. this took forever omg but i loved writing this ily jake ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
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YOU HAD ALWAYS KNOWN JAKE SIM AS YOUR OLDER BROTHER'S QUIET, EXTREMELY SHY AND NERDY BEST FRIEND WHO COULD NOT INTERACT WITH A GIRL FOR THE LIFE OF HIM.
the guy who would fumble with his glasses, constantly blushing whenever someone spoke directly to him.
you remembered how his ears would turn red, especially around you, which always made your stomach twist with a certain warmth.
but those days were long gone in the past, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a tiny crush on him growing up— but hey, no one else saw him when he would get you gifts with the small amount of money he saved up on your birthdays— or the way his ears would turn a bright red as you hugged him in appreciation.
when you returned home for the summer, you expected things to be the exact same.
waking up in your childhood bedroom felt familiar and comforting, the sun gently pouring in through your blinds, kissing your skin as you slowly stirred awake.
the house was quiet— silent as usual, your parents were out for the day, leaving you and your older brother to have the house to yourselves. ─── more under cut !
half-asleep, your feet gently padded down onto the wood as you made your way downstairs, your brain barely registering the soft hum of voices from the kitchen.
you assumed it was heeseung, who else would be at your house 10:00am in the morning?
with a tired yawn, stretching your arms mindlessly, you made your way to the fridge, reaching for a glass of water with your eyes still quite literally closed.
you barely noticed the figure leaning casually against the counter, your eyes half-lidded as you sipped on the beverage.
“not gonna greet me, princess? i’m hurt..”
the voice startled you, causing you to spill a bit of water as you turned sharply in shock.
wait— that was definitely not heeseung’s voice.
you blinked up at the figure standing before you, your eyes widening at the realization of who was standing in your kitchen—jake sim.
but he wasn’t the jake you remembered, he certainly was not the awkward nerdy boy who could barely look you in the eye.
instead, standing before you was someone who radiated confidence, with tousled hair that fell perfectly into place and a smirk playing on his lips instead of the usual shy grin.
“j-jake?” you stammered, feeling a sudden wave of flustered heat creeping up your neck.
“i—i didn’t know you were here.”
he chuckled softly, stepping a little closer, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“and here i thought you were purposely avoiding me.” he replied with a teasing pout.
your heart raced at his teasing tone, he was nothing like the boy you remembered.
the jake standing before you was taller, his frame broader, with a sense of self-assuredness that made your knees weak— you had to remind yourself to breathe.
“n-no, i wouldn’t do that..” you managed to say, stepping back slightly.
“i was just… tired.”
“hmm,” jake hummed thoughtfully, leaning against the counter again, his eyes never leaving yours.
“you’re just as cute in the morning as i remember.”
you felt your cheeks heat up even more if possible, since when did jake talk like this?
you weren’t used to this version of him—the one who seemed to know exactly how to make you flustered with just a few words.
just as you were about to say something in return, strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, lifting you slightly off the ground. you squealed in surprise as heeseung’s familiar laughter filled the kitchen.
“morning, my baby sister,” heeseung teased, spinning you around before setting you down.
“forgot how adorable you were in the mornings—i miss when you were five..”
you playfully punched at his chest, smirking at his winces as your face was still burning from the interaction with jake.
“don’t tease me, hee.”
“okay— that’s enough!”
heeseung ruffled your hair affectionately before glancing at jake, who had stepped back with a laugh, clearly enjoying the show.
the tension in the room seemed to ease as your brother’s presence lightened the mood, as always.
the three of you spent the morning catching up, with heeseung filling you in on all the university gossip, jake chiming in with his own stories.
but throughout the day, you couldn’t shake the feeling of jake’s lingering gaze, nor could you ignore the subtle flirtatious comments he would occasionally throw your way when heeseung wasn’t present.
to be completely honest— it was confusing.
you had long since convinced yourself that whatever crush you had on jake was over.
you had moved on, hadn’t you? he was just heeseung’s adorable, cute— now turned hot and flirtatious best friend.
but the way he looked at you now, the way his voice softened when he called you “princess,” had your heart skipping beats you weren’t prepared for.
as the summer days went by, jake seemed to be everywhere— leaving you no space to think straight anymore.
whether it was hanging out with heeseung in the living room or joining your family for dinner, he was always around, always watching you with that same intense gaze that made your heartbeat quicken.
his confidence was undeniable, and as much as you tried to deny it, you found yourself drawn to him in a way that left you feeling both excited and terrified.
it was hard not to notice the way he seemed to gravitate towards you, always finding a way to brush against your arm or throw a sly smile your way.
and every time he did, it felt like your carefully built defenses you had up were crumbling piece by piece.
you tried to tell yourself that it was nothing—that jake was just being playful.
but the way his touch lingered and the way his eyes would darken when they met yours told you otherwise.
something had definitely changed between you two, and despite your best efforts, you couldn’t ignore it.
the soft murmur of the ocean filled the air, the salty breeze kissing your skin as you were sat down on the sandy shore.
heeseung and jake were tossing a frisbee back and forth near the waterline, their laughter carried by the wind.
you watched them from your towel, your knees tucked up to your chest, feeling the warmth of the sun soak into your skin.
heeseung was the first to notice you sitting quietly by yourself.
with a mischievous grin, he called out, “hey! are you going to sit there all day like some weirdo, or are you going to join us?”
you shook your head with a small laugh.
“i’m fine right here, thanks!”
jake ran over, his t-shirt clinging to his body from the water.
his hair was damp, tousled by the wind, and a playful smile tugged at his lips.
you tried not to stare, but the way his muscles moved beneath his shirt caught your attention in ways you weren’t ready for.
“come on,” jake urged, crouching down beside you, his hand reaching out to gently nudge your knee.
“you can’t just sit here and watch. that’s no fun.”
you raised an eyebrow, with a joking smirk.
“and what exactly do you suggest i do, sim?”
he smirked, his eyes gleaming with a spark of mischief.
“i suggest you try and catch this.”
before you could react, heeseung tossed the frisbee towards you.
instinctively, you reached out and caught it, your eyes widening in surprise.
“see?” jake grinned, standing up and offering you his hand.
“you’ve got this— all you needed was a little push.”
reluctantly, you took his hand, and he pulled you up from the sand.
his grip was warm and firm, and for a moment, you found yourself lingering in his touch before you quickly let go, feeling a flutter in your chest that you couldn’t shake away.
as the three of you played together by the water, the mood felt light and carefree.
heeseung would shout playful taunts whenever you or jake missed the frisbee, and jake would respond with sarcastic comments that made you laugh.
at one point, the frisbee flew far, and jake chased after it, his feet splashing in the shallow waves.
he turned back with a winners smile, holding the frisbee up in victory, but his eyes softened when they met yours.
“hey, y/n,” he called out, his tone quieter now, almost hesitant.
you looked up from where you were standing, your heart skipping a beat as his gaze locked with yours.
“yeah?”
for a moment, jake just stood there, the ocean behind him and the sun glooming down a soft glow over his face.
his expression was unreadable, as if he was trying to figure out what to say.
but then he shook his head, his lips curling into a gentle smile.
“nothing,” he said softly, walking back towards you.
“just… you look really happy today.”
you blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.
there was something in the way he said it—something that made you feel like he wasn’t just talking about your appearance, but about you as a person.
your cheeks warmed, and you smiled shyly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
“thanks, i am.”
jake’s smile widened, and he glanced away, almost as if he was embarrassed by his own words.
but the moment lingered, hanging between you like a thread of something unspoken.
you felt it in the way your stomach fluttered, in the way jake’s eyes softened every time they met yours.
it was the kind of moment that left you wondering—hoping—that maybe he felt the same pull that you did.
after the sun had set and the day at the beach had come to an end, the three of you returned home, completely worn out and exhausted but content.
heeseung headed off to bed early, claiming that the sun had drained all his energy, but you and jake decided to stay up a little longer.
the two of you ended up in the backyard, a blanket spread out beneath the stars.
you laid side by side, staring up at the sky, the air cool and crisp after the heat of the day.
“do you remember when we used to do this as kids?” jake asked softly, his voice cutting through the silence of the night.
you smiled, your eyes fixed on the stars twinkling above.
“yeah, of course i do. we’d sneak out of the house and lie out here for hours, just talking about anything and everything.”
jake chuckled quietly.
“heeseung always fell asleep first. every time.”
you giggled at the memory with a fond smile.
“and then we’d try to wake him up, but he’d just mumble something about video games and roll over.”
“some things just never change, huh..” you whispered with a chuckle.
jake’s laughter faded into a comfortable silence, and after a few moments, you felt him shift beside you.
his hand brushed against yours, sending a spark of electricity through your skin.
you glanced over at him, and in the soft moonlight, you could see the way his eyes were focused on you—not the stars.
“do you ever miss those days?” he asked quietly, his voice tinged with a kind of nostalgia that tugged at your heart.
you nodded slowly in agreement.
“sometimes, things felt simpler back then.”
jake’s fingers curled around yours, his touch gentle but hesitant.
“yeah,” he murmured.
“but i think some things… they’re better now.”
your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you found yourself turning to face him fully.
the look in his eyes was different—deeper, there was no teasing smirk, no playful glint.
instead, there was something raw, something vulnerable and real.
you could feel the weight of it pressing down on your chest, and it made your breath catch in your throat.
“jake…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
he didn’t say anything, but the way he looked at you—the way his eyes traced the curve of your face, the way his thumb gently brushed against the back of your hand— it spoke volumes.
it was as if the air between you had shifted, instead filled with something that neither of you could name but both of you surely felt.
the moment stretched on, and for a brief second, you thought he— jake sim, might kiss you.
the thought sent a shocking thrill through your veins, but before either of you could move, the sound of a door opening broke the intensity of the moment.
“heeseung’s probably wondering where we are,” jake said softly, pulling his hand away and sitting up.
his voice was calm, but you could see the faint but familiar pink blush on his cheeks, and you wondered in that moment— if he felt the same rush of feelings that you did.
you nodded, sitting up as well, though your heart still raced in your chest.
the connection between you felt fragile and real, and as you both headed inside, you couldn’t help but wonder how much longer you’d be able to keep ignoring it.
a few days later, a heavy summer storm rolled in, trapping you all inside of the house.
heeseung was glued to his video games as per usual, so you found yourself in the living room with jake.
the rain poured outside, creating a repetitive sound against the windows as the two of you sat on the couch, watching a movie.
at first, everything felt normal—comfortable, even.
but as the movie progressed, you found your mind drifting back to that night under the stars, to the way jake had held your hand and looked at you like you were the only person in the world.
the tension in the air was subtle but undeniably there.
you could feel it in the way your shoulders brushed against each other, in the way jake’s arm rested a little too close to yours on the couch.
every small movement felt charged, and you found yourself hyper-aware of his presence beside you.
eventually, the movie ended, and jake turned to you, his expression softer than usual.
“can i.. ask you something?”
you looked at him, your heart fluttering at the seriousness in his tone.
“of course.”
jake hesitated for a moment, as if he was gathering his thoughts.
then, he looked into your eyes, his voice quiet but steady.
“do you ever think about what it would be like… if things were different between us?”
your breath hitched at his words.
“what do you mean?”
jake’s gaze didn’t waver.
“i mean like… if we weren’t just friends.”
the room suddenly felt smaller, the air thicker.
your heart pounded in your chest as his words sank in.
you had been wondering the same thing for weeks now—maybe even longer.
but hearing him say it out loud made it real in a way that terrified you.
“i… i don’t know,” you whispered, though the truth was that you had thought about it more than you cared to admit.
you had imagined what it would be like to kiss him, to hold him, to be more than just heeseung’s little sister in his eyes.
jake’s expression softened, and he reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek.
his touch was warm, comforting, and it made you lean into him despite the nervous energy bubbling in your chest.
“i think about it,” jake admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
“a lot.”
the honesty in his words made your heart ache in the best way possible.
you wanted to say something—anything—to reassure him that you felt the same way.
but before you could speak, jake's thumb gently traced the curve of your jaw, the slightest touch sending shivers down your spine.
the soft glow of the tv reflected in his eyes, and for a moment, you forgot everything else—forgot the storm outside, forgot heeseung just down the hall, forgot the hesitation that had held you back for so long.
all you could focus on was jake—his face so close to yours, his breath mixing with yours in the small space between you.
the weight of the moment was almost too much to bear, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for him to say something more, to do something more.
but instead of closing the distance between you, jake let his hand fall from your cheek, his expression shifting to something more uncertain.
he leaned back slightly, his eyes flickering away from yours as if he was suddenly unsure of himself.
“i don’t want to mess things up,” he murmured, almost to himself.
“i don’t want to… hurt you.”
his words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, you felt a pang of disappointment that he had pulled back.
but then you realized that— he was afraid.
afraid of crossing a line that would change everything between you.
afraid of ruining the friendship that had been so carefully built over the years.
afraid of how his best friend would react to this, he was clueless in everything.
you reached out, placing your hand on top of his.
“jake, you won’t hurt me,” you said softly.
“i trust you.”
his eyes met yours again, and you saw the way his shoulders relaxed slightly at your words.
but still, there was a lingering hesitation in his gaze, as if he was weighing the consequences of what might happen next.
“i just… i’ve always wanted to protect you,” he said quietly.
“even when we were kids, and now… now it feels like there’s so much more at stake.”
you smiled gently, squeezing his hand.
“maybe that’s a good thing.”
jake looked at you for a long moment, the silence between you thick with unspoken feelings.
and then, just as you were about to say something more, the sound of heeseung’s door opening echoed down the hall.
jake pulled back completely, letting out a breath as he ran a hand through his hair.
you quickly shifted in your seat, trying to act as if nothing had happened, even though your heart was still racing in your chest.
heeseung wandered into the living room, oblivious to the tension that had just filled the tiny space.
“what are you guys up to?” he asked, stretching as he approached.
“just finished a movie,” jake said, his voice casual as ever, though you noticed the way he avoided looking directly at you.
heeseung plopped down on the couch between the two of you, completely unaware of the moment he had just interrupted.
“nice. anything good?”
you forced a smile, trying to shake off the lingering feelings from your conversation that had just took place with jake a couple seconds ago.
“yeah, it was pretty good.”
as heeseung started talking about his latest gaming obsession, you couldn’t help but glance over at jake.
he met your gaze briefly, a soft, almost apologetic smile playing on his lips.
it wasn’t much, but it was enough to remind you that the connection between you was still there—still real.
and despite the interruption, you knew that things had shifted.
the unspoken feelings between you had been acknowledged, even if neither of you had said it outright.
it was only a matter of time before everything would come to light.
weeks later, the town’s annual summer festival had finally arrived.
it was a lively event filled with bright lights, carnival rides, and food stalls that stretched along the main street.
heeseung had been excited about it for days, dragging you and jake along with him as soon as the sun began to set.
the three of you walked through the crowded streets together, the sound of laughter and music filling the air.
heeseung led the way, disappearing into a group of friends he spotted near one of the game booths.
you and jake followed behind, your shoulders brushing as you walked.
as you passed a small booth selling cotton candy, jake stopped suddenly, his eyes lighting up with a grin.
“remember when we used to beg our parents to buy this for us every year?”
you laughed, nodding.
“yeah, and they always said no because they didn’t want us to get a sugar crash.”
jake chuckled, then stepped up to the booth and bought a large stick of cotton candy.
he handed it to you with a smile.
“well— we’re adults now, and we can have as much as we want.”
you took the cotton candy from him, your fingers brushing against his.
the simple gesture made your heart race, and you found yourself smiling despite the nerves that still lingered between you.
“thanks,” you said softly, taking a small bite.
jake watched you with a fond expression, and for a moment, it felt like you were the only two people in the world.
the noise of the festival faded into the background, and all you could focus on was the way jake was looking at you—as if you were something precious.
without thinking, you reached up and tore off a small piece of the cotton candy, holding it out to him.
jake hesitated for only a second before leaning in and taking it from your fingers with a soft smile.
the gesture was innocent enough, but there was something intimate about it—something that made your heart flutter in your chest.
you could feel the tension building between you again, that familiar tension that had been growing stronger with each passing day.
as the night wore on, the festival became more crowded, and eventually, you found yourselves separated from heeseung.
jake stayed close by your side, his hand brushing against yours occasionally as you pushed your way through the sea of people.
when you reached a quieter part of the festival, near a small fountain surrounded by twinkling lights, jake stopped and turned to face you fully.
his expression was serious now, his eyes searching yours as if he was trying to find the right words.
“y/n,” he began softly, his voice barely audible over the distant sounds of the festival.
“i’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about the other night.”
your heart skipped a beat. you knew exactly what he was referring to—the conversation in the living room, the moment when everything had almost changed between you.
jake took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek.
his touch was warm, electrifying, and it made you lean into him instinctively.
“i need to say something, or im afraid i won’t be able to say it at all—“
before he could continue— the familiar voice made the both of you flinch back.
“where were you guys, i called your phones a million times!”
you blinked in disbelief— your brother had once again interrupted the moment.
“i didn’t notice, sorry hee..” you frantically explained, extremely flustered by the whole situation.
“well— it’s fine, let’s go to the dumpling stand!”
heeseung shouted excitedly as jake, once again had given you a sorry pout, making you giggle at the absurdity of your brothers timing.
a few days later, on one of the hottest summer evenings possible, you found yourself at a party that both jake and heeseung had invited you to.
the music was loud, the air thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat as you walked through the crowd.
you hadn’t seen jake in a while, and a small part of you had been looking for him, though you would never admit it to yourself.
finally, after what felt like hours, you spotted him across the room.
your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him—until you noticed the girl sitting right next to him, her arms draped around his shoulders as she whispered something into his ear.
he was smiling, that same smile he had been giving you all summer, and it felt like a punch to the gut.
all the unspoken tension, the stolen glances, the lingering touches—it all came crashing down as you stood there frozen, watching him with her.
had you misread everything? had he just been playing with you this whole time?
before you could stop yourself, tears welled up in your eyes, and you turned on your heel, pushing through the crowd as fast as you could.
you needed to get out of there— you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think.
all you knew was that you needed to get away from the sight of jake sim as soon as possible.
just as you made it to the door, you bumped into someone—heeseung.
his eyes immediately filled with concern as he saw the tears streaming down your face.
“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice soft as he gently grabbed your shoulders, steering you outside where the cool night air hit your face.
“what happened?”
you shook your head, wiping at your tears, refusing to meet his gaze.
“i don’t want to talk about it.”
heeseung’s brow furrowed, his grip on your shoulders tightening slightly as he pulled you into a hug.
“is it because of jake?”
your breath hitched, and you froze in his arms.
how did he know? you hadn’t said anything to him about jake, not once.
heeseung sighed, pulling back slightly to look at you.
“i’ve always known, you know. you’re my baby sister. i could always tell when it comes to you.”
you bit your lip, fighting back more tears as you nodded, unable to find the words.
heeseung’s face softened, and he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb.
“i’ll talk to him,” he said softly.
“you go home and get some rest, okay? i’ll handle this.”
you quickly shook your head in denial.
“heeseung, you don’t have to—”
“i’m your brother,” he interrupted, his tone gentle but firm.
“of course i do.”
you couldn’t argue with that— so instead, you nodded, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
“thank you. i love you, you’re the best older brother i could’ve ever asked for.”
heeseung smiled softly as he felt his own tears brimming in his eyes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“i love you too, more than you’ll ever know.”
with one last comforting squeeze, he sent you off, and you walked home, the weight of your heartbreak heavy on your shoulders.
you couldn’t stop the tears from falling as you replayed the image of jake with that girl over and over in your mind.
meanwhile, back at the party, heeseung stormed back inside, anger coasting through his veins as his eyes scanned the crowd until he found jake in the corner, staring down at his phone with a smile.
without a second thought, heeseung grabbed jake by the collar, his fist connecting with his jaw before jake even had a chance to react.
“what the hell, man?!” jake exclaimed, stumbling back in shock, clutching his jaw.
“i always knew you had a thing for her,” heeseung growled, his voice low and dangerous.
“but i trusted you— i thought you’d never hurt her.”
“seriously— you think i didn’t notice what the two of you had going on this summer? and now you’re onto the next girl, huh?”
jake’s eyes widened in realization, the only girl he interacted with this evening— his face pale as he shook his head.
“no, god no— heeseung, it’s not what you think. it was a misunderstanding. that girl— it was yeji. you remember her, right? the one who always harassed me in high school?”
heeseung’s expression didn’t soften, but he didn’t say anything, allowing jake to continue.
“she’s been in love with me for years, and i was rejecting her, but i—i smiled because i felt bad. i wasn’t interested in her, i swear.” jake’s voice cracked as he ran a hand through his hair, his eyes filling with tears.
“i love her, heeseung. i love your sister. i’ve been in love with her since we were kids. i wanted to make things official, but now…i don’t know what to do.”
heeseung stared at jake for a long moment before letting out a deep sigh.
he patted jake on the back, his voice softening slightly.
“then fix it you brainless idiot, it’s not too late.”
jake didn’t need to be told twice— without another word, he bolted out of the party, sprinting towards your house as fast as his legs would carry him.
back at home, you were curled up in your bed, buried in the comfort of your blankets— the tears finally starting to slow as exhaustion took over.
you hadn’t expected to hear from jake again after what you saw, so when you heard a soft tapping on your window, your heart leapt in surprise.
you sat up, wiping at your eyes as you cautiously approached the window.
when you saw jake standing outside, his eyes wide and pleading, you hesitated for only a moment before opening it.
“what do you want, jake?” you asked, your voice thick with sadness.
“i need to explain,” he said quickly, climbing inside before you could shut the window again.
“please, just let me explain.”
you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to keep your walls up even though his presence made your heart ache.
“go ahead.”
jake took a deep breath, his voice shaking slightly as he began.
“that girl you saw me with…she’s not who i want. she never has been. she’s just someone from high school who’s had a crush on me for years, and i didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so i tried to let her down gently. but i swear, it was nothing.”
you didn’t say anything, your emotions swirling in a confusing mess as you tried to process his words.
jake stepped closer, his eyes softening as he reached for your hand.
“it’s always been you, princess— since we were kids. i’ve always been in love with you. and this summer…i thought maybe you felt the same way.”
your breath caught in your throat as his words sank in.
all the moments, the stolen glances, the lingering touches—it all made sense now.
but before you could say anything, jake cupped your face gently, his eyes searching yours with desperation.
“i love you,” he whispered.
“i’m so in love with you, it hurts.”
you didn’t let him finish— instead, you pulled him down into a kiss, pouring all of your emotions into it.
it was soft at first, even shy, but as jake’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, it deepened into something more passionate—something that felt like all the pieces finally falling into place.
when you finally pulled away, both of you breathless, jake rested his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips.
“so…does that mean you feel the same?” he teased gently, though there was still a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
you smiled back, your heart feeling lighter than it had in days.
“yes, jake sim— you bastard, i do.”
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suiana · 1 year
Text
your boyfriend has been acting weird lately (various yandere characters x gn reader) (ANGSTOBER DAY 2)
"babe are you-"
"can you quit talking? seriously, you're so damn annoying."
"...i only wanted to ask whether you were hungry..."
you stare at your boyfriend, lips pursed as he continues to type away on his phone. he's been like this for three weeks now. getting mad at you for no reason, cursing at you... did you do something wrong?
all you ever wanted was to be a good significant other and he's acting like he's on his period or something! jesus, can't he be a little bit more mature too?! picking fights with you for no reason, making a big fuss over nothing... and not even telling you why?!
...
you know what?
you had it with him.
"hey, what's your problem huh?! why are you so edgy nowadays huh? did i do something wrong?!"
your once loving boyfriend stares at you, eyes and mouth wide at your sudden outburst. he takes a moment to compose himself, eyebrows furrowing the second he thinks things through.
"god you're so damn stupid. I've been repeatedly telling you, haven't i? i hate you. what can't you understand?! this is why I'm always getting mad, damnit!"
you scoff at him, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep your cool... only for your anger to get the better of you, resulting in a screaming festival between you and your boyfriend.
"hate me? you can't expect me to believe that. not when you were literally obsessed with me up till three weeks ago?!"
"i-"
"you used to threaten people just for looking at me! you even tried to kill someone because they asked for my number! and now you want me to believe that you hate me? stop with your bullshit."
".. actually-"
"oh. are you seeing someone else? is that what this is? you're trying to make me break up with you, is that it?"
"n-... you know what? yeah, yeah it is. i want to break up with you. I've found someone else that i love more than you."
your boyfriend states, eyes dead as he stares straight at you. he breathes calmly, as if he weren't affected by this at all. meanwhile, your heart felt as though it had shattered into many tiny pieces. tears fell from your eyes, unable to be held back any longer as you broke down, falling to your knees as the male just stares at you stoicly.
"let's never see each other again."
he mumbles, turning on his heel, swiftly leaving you alone to wallow in your sadness in the once lively apartment. shit... you hadn't expected things to end like this.
"he's a fucking jerk..."
you think through your tears, vision blurry as you clutch your chest. you really loved him and he just?? left?? how could he be so heartless?
if he didn't love you he could've just said something about it. he didn't have to be so mean and hurt your feelings before finally bringing up another person! god damnit, why did you have to fall for such a person?!
you cried, wailing as you cursed your now ex-boyfriend.
"fuck! i hate you! i hate you so much! i hope i never see you again! just disappear from my life! you just left me to die here! stupid ex-boyfriend! i hate giving you my love!"
what you didn't know however, was that your 'heartless' boyfriend had stood outside your door, frowning at your every word, regretting everything he had done up until that moment. because he had loved you too. truly.
he loved you so damn much that he wanted to tear out his hair every single time he was mean to you. he wanted to tell you that he didn't mean any single one of those hurtful words. he wanted to cry and beg for your forgiveness every single time he did anything hurtful to you.
but it was for your own good. it was to keep you safe. and if he needed to hurt you to keep you safe, he'd do it. because he loved you too much to see someone else hurt you.
and being with him meant that there was always a risk of you getting hurt. so how could he allow that to happen when it could be prevented? how could he let his selfish feelings get in the way when you were such a precious little thing? sure, he loves you and he'll do anything in his power to ensure your safety but what if he can't protect you one day?
what if one day you just... get used against him? he's a dangerous man and has a lot of enemies. surely they'll find out that you're his weakness. of course he has gotten rid of anyone who might harm you now but who's to say that there won't be more in the future?
which is why he has to severe all ties with you now. he can't risk it. because he may be strong, but he may not be strong enough for whoever may come in the future. that's why he's been doing what he's been doing-making you hate him so that it hurts less when he decides that it's time to leave. he assumes that it's working wonderfully, after all you've never once noticed his puffy eyes in the morning.
"at least... they'll be safe now."
and disappear he will, for he has too many regrets welling up in the depths of his soul from what he did to you. he'll make sure to never come across you again, instead lurking in your shadow, observing you from afar.
a star like you need not be dirtied by his presence anymore.
dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, megumi fushiguro, blade, scaramouche/wanderer, your faves<3
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love-belle · 1 year
Text
promise me you'll lie !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them lying to themselves and to each other; saying that they don't love them.
or
for when you can't help but lie because it's better than facing the truth. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
warnings - language
author's note - back to back updates!!!!! i hope u like this <3
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liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 1,527,926 others
yourusername promise you'll lie
11,526 comments
username i flinched whattehfyckkk
username im shattered im in shambles im in ruins im crying im screaming this is crazy what the fuck
username if 😭 i 😭 don't 😭 get 😭 to 😭 have 😭 u 😭 at 😭 least 😭 our 😭 matching 😭 tattoos 😭 last 😭 for 😭 life 😭
username im throwing hands idc IM THROWING BOTH HANDS
landonorris cool song
-> yourusername thank u i wrote it myself
username tears are falling down my face what is this
kellypiquet so beautiful 💐🫶🏼 just like you
-> yourusername missing u and p <3
username i'll forever be missing their black cat bf x golden retriever gf era 💔💔💔
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱
*yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their instagram stories*
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by y/nsblackcatera, y/ntheloml, mewheny/n and 76,527 others
stargirl y/n y/l/n and oscar piastri called it quits almost 9 months ago and it seems like the singer is ready to move on. she was seen out on a "date" with her close friend and her producer of her sophomore album, this is how you fall in love, which she — ironically — wrote for piastri. the reason for their split is still unknown although sources close to the pair claim, "it was just too much work and they both were busy with their own things. it was about time that they broke up." for more details about piastri and y/l/n and the singer's new flame, click on the link in our bio.
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liked by landonorris, alex_albon, maxverstappen1 and 799,245 others
oscarpiastri can't promise i'll lie
8,628 comments
username THE CAPTION I JUMPED
username i js fell to the floor what.
username someone sedate me what the fuck
landonorris you've been lying the whole time but okayyy
-> oscarpiastri i'll block you
username the cats 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 babies of divorce 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 weekend with dad 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁
username HIS STORY IM SCREECHING WHATTTT
username no bc the way that one post from a literal fan acc managed to get him log in into his ig acc and post a shady caption abt his ex gf like boyyyy
-> username fr like js say you'd be on ur knees for her to take u back
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imaginaryf1shots · 1 year
Text
Falling | Charles Leclerc
Charles Leclerc x photographer!reader
WC: 2.1K
Warnings: none
AN: Could’ve made it more angst but I was in the mood for fluff. I don’t think it’s my best work but I love it. I’m a bit tired and I wanted to post this so excuse the any mistakes.
REQUESTED
I hope you like it.
Masterlist
Charles Masterlist
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Charles walked into the paddock in his team’s kit, he was so out of it today for some reason. His manager was walking with him telling him everything he’ll be doing for the day, he was half listening half lost in his own thoughts. So it made perfect sense why he wouldnt see you, you were crouched down taking pictures of Lando who was posing for you.
Charles all but fell on top of you, you had just enough sense in you to move your expensive camera away from the ground. Letting a soft curse escape your lips at the impact. Charles manages to catch himself just in time not to crush you. You were on your side and Charles was on his hands and knees beside you. Lando? He was on the floor laughing, laughing at your wide and shocked eyes.
Sitting up you looked at the Ferrari driver, who was on his knees dusting his hands, making you both now sitting next to each other. It was then that Charles saw you for the first time. Your hat was on backwards so he had full access to see your face. His eyes moved all over your face taking you in, he never saw you before he’s sure of it, there's noway he’d seen you before and forgotten, your face isn’t the type to be forgotten.
“Are you okay?… You didn't hit your head did you.” It took Charles a moment to realise you were talking to him, he blinked a couple of times, and cleared his throat, Lando watched amused(He’ll be proud later on to be there when you first met). You had a smile on your face.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright, are you okay?” Charles checked you for any injuries, he got up and offered you his hand, which you gave him, your soft hand in contrast to his calloused one.
“As long as my baby is okay, I’m okay.” You said waving the camera in indication. “You know you could’ve asked for pictures if you wanted, didn’t have to run me over.”
“I uh, I’m sorry I wasn’t focused.” Charles apologised realising he never apologised.
“It’s alright.” You gave him a smile.
“Charles.” Charles braved and put his hand out for you to shake, you placed your hand back in his telling him your name, before anything else could be exchanged he was pulled away and you went back to the mini photoshoot you were doing to a still amused Lando.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Let’s say this wasn’t the last time you saw Charles, in fact he became one of the drivers who always posed for you and let you take pictures of him, and the fans had more pictures of Charles to rate in their weekly outfit rating when it came to the drivers.
“Come on, why won’t you take pictures of me?” Charles asked following you around the paddock, you were looking through the pictures you already took of him, and there were quite the few that were perfect, in your opinion.
“Charles I literally took over 50 of you just now, I’m not a Ferrari photographer you know.” You told the monegasque driver and stopped in your tracks suddenly he almost crashed into you, again. “Look at this one, you look so good here.”
“I always look good.” He said with a scoff, you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t admit that he’s right, it’s hard to take a bad picture of him. Charles looked at the picture over your shoulder, he was standing so close to you, you felt his body heat.
“I seriously have to go.” You told the driver, after a moment, looking at your watch. stepping away from the Ferrari driver you turned to face him. “Once I’m done with Ethan I can take more pictures of you.”
“You’re going to take some of Ethan, now?” Charles frowned, his upbeat mode gone, but you didn’t really realise too focused on what you had to do.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later Charles.” Charles clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes before he left for Ferrari’s motorhome.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
you were at Ferrari’s motorhome, you were getting food from there that day, Ethan your cousin was in a meeting so you weren’t at Williams’ cafeteria. Taking your food you found the two Ferrari drivers sitting at a table, you smiled to yourself as you watched Charles talk animatedly with Carlos.
“Care if I join you?” You asked the two.
“Yeah, sit down.” Carlos said and Charles groaned with a teasing smile. You glared at the male but sat down next to him.
“It’s great to know that Ferrari has such a welcoming atmosphere.” You said to Carlos ignoring Charles.
“Yeah, this welcome is only for you.” Carlos said and gave Charles a look, the Monegasque kicked his leg under the table. Carlos smirked and shook his head. It didn’t take long before Charles started nicking food from your plate, unlike the duo you weren’t on a strict diet, your plate looked more appetising than his.
“Why are you so annoying, go get your own food.” You said after the fifth fry was stolen from your plate.
“Because annoying you is what I’m best at.” Charles smirked and stole another fry.
“Come on mate, she needs all the food she gets, running around the paddock all day.” Carlos has found himself always amused watching the both of you. Him and Lando have a standing bet on when Charles will confess, the former teammates are waiting for him to get the courage, since you seemed oblivious of Charles’ raging crush on you.
“Honestly Carlos you’re becoming my favourite Ferrari driver.” You said and quickly pulled your plate away from Charles’ attack, your eyes met in a challenge narrowing slightly. Your plate kept moving left and right as Charles’ fork kept coming back.
“How come someone so tiny can be so annoying?” Charles asked giving up on eating from your plate.
“Well I never thought an F1 driver could be stupid but here you are.” Carlos burst out laughing, you bit back a laugh as Charles blinked and stunted.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Charles heard your laughter before he saw you, he couldn’t help but smile. When he rounded the corner his shoulders deflated and the smile on his face fell away. There you are again taking pictures of Ethan and joking around with the rookie. You’re 80% of the time just taking pictures of him, you both looked close and very comfortable with each other. You had your head thrown back in laughter as you both stood so close looking at the pictures on your camera. There’s nothing that the rookie could do that's this funny, in Charles’ opinion anyway.
“Why won’t you ask her out?” Pierre asked coming up behind his friend, he followed his sight and it fell on the female photographer. The female is well known now in the paddock and she took some crazy good photos of him and Kika last week.
“What are you talking about?” Charles acted confused and turned to walk the way he came from, Pierre followed him, determined to make his friend see reason and admit his feelings. Plus the bet money just doubled as more people also placed their bets.
“Come on now, just because she’s blind doesn’t mean the rest of us are.” Pierre said and rolled his eyes. “You’re going the wrong way.”
Charles stopped and looked around, seeing where he was and where he’s going. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know how, okay?”
“You don’t know how…” Pierre was confused.
“I-I’ve never asked a girl out before, they’ve-they’ve always been the ones to approach me first.” Charles mumbled and Pierre couldn’t help but laugh, Charles cursed his friend and went to turn away when Pierre stopped him.
“WAit, wait, just tell her you like her and want to take her out for dinner or something, it’s simple.” Pierre said getting over his laughter when he saw Charles was serious and really didn’t know how to ask you out. “Isn’t she supposed to have a mini photoshoot with you today?” ‘yeah’ “Ask her then.”
“I don’t know.” Charles mumbled.
“Think about it.” Pierre patted his back in encouragement.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Charles thought about it, he did, but every time he got the courage and told himself to just ask you out, he remembered all the times he’s found you with Ethan, the hugs he’s seen you share after races, the hundreds upon hundreds of pictures you have of him, your professional instagram is filled with the Williams driver. It irked him how the rookie could get you, he hated it, he really did. so he decided to sulk in his driver’s room.
Charles was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. He was laying back on his bed. ‘come in.’
he didn’t expect you to come in, he sat up on the bed. You timidly closed the door behind you but didn’t move further in the room, it’s your first time in a driver’s room that wasn’t your cousin’s.
“I was looking for you, a-are we having the shoot?” For some reason you found yourself nervous, Charles and your relationship has always been light and easy going so the heavy air around you both didn’t make any sense at the moment. “Are you not feeling up to it?”
“I thought you’d take photos of Ethan.” Charles said bitterly, you frowned at his words, he clearly didn’t like your cousin by the way he spat his name.
“No, I finished with him today… Do you not like him or something? Did he do something?” You asked and for those who know that you’re related to Ethan can tell that you’re asking for a place of an older sister, but to Charles it didn’t sound like that.
“No.”
“You can tell me, I’ll tell his mum.” You tried to joke but Charles didn’t react to your words at all, sighing you moved closer to him, he was still on his bed looking up at you. “What has my cousin done now?”
A long moment of silence and recognition flickered over Charles face.
“Cousin?”
“Yeah?” yYou were confused at his confusion now. “What did Ethan do?”
“I- I didn't know he was your cousin.” Charles muttered, you raised an eyebrow with a small smile.
“If not a cousin or a brother then, there’s no way I’d spend that much time taking pictures of a single person if I wasn’t under the threat of family.” You joked and sat on the very edge of the bed besides Charles.
“it - it makes sense.” Charles was talking to himself at the moment he connected the dots, it looked like he was debating something with himself while rethinking all his life decisions. He looked from his fingers up to meet your eyes, your breath hitched in your throat and in this moment you understood why you felt nervous. This is the first time you’ve been completely alone with the Ferrari driver. “Do you want to go out to dinner?”
“W-what?” Your eyes went wide, this came out of nowhere.
“Can I take you out on a date?” Charles has no idea where this courage came out from but the more she took to answer he started to doubt himself.
“A date?” It seemed like the only thing you can get yourself to say is to repeat what he was saying.
“I thought I was stupid.” Charles raised an eyebrow, you jokingly hit his shoulder and glared at him, but as he held your gaze.
“I would like to go on a date with you.” Both your cheeks flushed with colour and suddenly you aren’t able to keep eye contact. “I didn’t know you liked me like that.”
“We’ll, you trapped me the first time we met.” Charles joked remembering the first time you met.
“Me? You literally fell down the first time you saw me.” You replied straight away. “Some would say you fell right in love with me.”
“I don’t know about love, but I really like you.” Again you were left speechless, cheeks pink, you hid your face away from him by leaning your forehead on his shoulder. Charles couldn’t stop himself from hugging you and kissing the side of your head, unknowingly making it worse for you. Taking a deep breath you pulled back and pushed your hair back. “Do you want to take pictures now?”
“I don’t know, you did miss your appointment.”
“You should feel honoured to take pictures of me.”
“I feel sick.”
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Lando will definitely be telling everyone how he was there when Charles fell in love with you.
Carlos and Pierre won the bet.
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username here's some of my favourite @/y/ntwt photos of @/charles_leclerc this year
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username yn really has been working hard 👏 🤧
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username no because what did she say to have him smiling like this!! ART 🙌
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username forget what she said, look at how he looks at her (the 2nd pic isn't by her but he's looking at her) 👀👀
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username we should all say thank you yn! 🥰🥰
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stoirmeachapas · 4 months
Text
look for the light
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warnings: injury, but thats quite literally it!!!
nika muhl x reader
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you dropped to the ground, clutching your knee in your hands as tears instantly spilled from your eyes. you heard a whistle blow, then everything went so quiet.
your fist found the ground as you cried out in pain.
everything was so blurry. people stood above you but you couldn’t make out anyones faces.
it was all too much. the lights were so bright, it made your head throb. you squeezed your eyes together so hard and covered them with your hands to block it out, but nothing worked.
“hey,” a hand was placed on your shoulder. “its okay, look at me.”
you pulled your hand from your face reluctantly and wiped your tears, blinking more away.
a brunette girl was kneeled in-front of you, brushing flyaway hairs away from your sweaty face. “everything’s okay.”
“no its not. it hurts so bad. its not okay.” she shushed you while she twisted your ponytail around.
nika grabbed your hand lightly as they sat you up. geno and paige stood above you, talking to the medics as they asked questions.
geno lent down, “hey kiddo, were gonna try to stand you up and get you over to the side, alright?” you nodded your head lightly in response.
nika wrapped an arm around you and began to help you up, the medic grabbing your other side.
as soon as you were up, a cry escaped your mouth the second you were upright.
panicked breaths escaped your mouth as you failed to stand. not managing to put any pressure on your leg. “i know it hurts, but we have to do this,” she mumbled out, more of your weight falling to her.
geno hushed a few of the girls over to the bench, all of them glancing back over with worried looks. “she needs to try one more step, then you put her back down if she can’t.”
“we need to move her.”
“you will do as i say. you will do what is best for my players.” geno spoke sternly, trying to cover up his slight anger.
the second medic, a shorter girl, smiled lightly at you, “can you try one more time, honey?”
“mhm.”
nika held your hip even tighter, pulling more weight off your leg. “you’ve got this, baby.”
a light cry escaped your mouth as you took another step, quickly stepping off of it and onto your other leg. “ geno stood infront of you, “what do you think.”
“let me keep going, please.”
“does it hurt?”
you took another step, “yes.”
and as you went for another step, you crumbled into nikas side, tears filling your eyes again. “shh. sit down.” you were so dizzy, and so tired. as soon as you reached the floor, you couldn’t stay awake anymore. the pain was too much. the light slowly turned into darkness. you would’ve been scared but nikas worried eyes staring into yours were enough to calm you down as you went out.
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you were only out for about five minutes, but it felt like forever to the entire team.
they will admit, moving you off of the court was much easier when you were passed out. nika held your hand the entire time. she refused to let go, so when you woke up on the floor by the bench, she was sitting next to you still. ice was placed over your forehead and your knee.
after you blinked the fogginess away, it was almost like you never fell asleep. the pain was back. it was so horrible.
paige and caroline were there as-well, sitting on the floor. they were leant over your leg.
it was purple around your knee, bruising happening very quickly. geno got down on one knee by you, “hey, they’re gonna bring you in.”
“m’kay, thats fine.”
you rolled over to your side, the bags of ice falling off as you curled into a ball.
paige rubbed your back, mumbling about how its going to work out good. caroline just stared at your leg, processing what happened. nika loosened your ponytail just incase you got a headache while she murmured sweet words into your ear.
you held onto one of her hands and your other hand clutched the front of her jersey.
as they loaded you onto the stretcher, she dropped your hand for the first time since it had happened. she furrowed her eyebrows and gave you a light smile before turning away, not looking back. she knew that if she turned around she wouldn’t be able to leave you.
the entire ride was surreal. it was as if nothing had happened in your head. you were still on that court with your team. you were still with your girls.
you had the game playing live on your phone. you wanted to know how it was going, but they were off. it was almost like they didn’t care for the rest of the quarter. you would’ve thought that they didn’t, if you watched how they played. it was so messy.
when the buzzer sounded they were down sixteen. the fourth quarter began minutes later, and they were closing the gap. it was a seven point, then four, then two, and then they were tied. in the final seconds they took the lead, securing the win for uconn.
you smiled at the screen as they celebrated, sinking further into the hospital bed.
doctors came in and out, poking around and asking more questions.
after multiple test and a mri, they had decided it was a torn acl.
it was as if everything had suddenly fallen apart. you thought that there would be nothing wrong, you had convinced yourself. but there was something wrong, and it was season ending.
the shock slowly left and it turned into being upset, then angry. you just laid there and silently cried.
after an hour, geno came into the room. you guys didn’t talk about your leg, he was trying to take your mind off of it. then nika came in and he left. she spoke so softly, wiping tears off your face. she pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back, pressing light kisses to the side of your head. “it’s gonna be okay, baby. i promise,” she mumbled lightly, twirling your ponytail around.
you looked at her through watery eyes, “i’m so mad. how could i let this happen?” you sobbed, tugging on the collar of her shirt. “no, stop it. its not like you could’ve predicted this. everybody gets hurt sometimes.”
“but this isn’t a sore ankle or a broken finger. i’m gonna have to get surgery, and i’m out for the rest of the season!”
she cupped your face with her hands, “take a deep breath, please. i’ll do it with you, okay?”
you nodded at her, focusing on your breathing. “there you go…good girl.” she pulled you into a light hug, sitting on the side of the hospital bed. you cuddled into her side, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “don’t leave, just stay here,” you whispered out.
“i’m not going anywhere.”
and that was the truth. she was with you when you went in for surgery and when you woke up. she was there for your first step on your leg. she was there when you starting playing basketball again. she never left.
“nika?”
“whats up?”
“your the light of my life.”
send reqs please i’m sooo boredd im begging youuu
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uglypastels · 1 month
Note
can you do a mutant fem reader x logan but her powers are like bens from the umbrella academy and but readers like shy/kind kinda crybaby personality <333
a short but sweet blurb <3
warnings: struggles with powers. over-exhaustion
~ X-Men requests Open ~ Masterlist ~
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Missions were not exactly a school trip, you were very well aware of that, but you had expected them to go a bit better. To get some kind of enjoyment or satisfaction out of them. Instead, the sheer thought of having to go to battle made you sick. At least when it involves your abilities. 
Hand-to-hand combat you were alright with. You had, after all, trained for years to be able to disarm any prick with a silly little gun that would come at you. And your skills with a blade weren’t too bad either, but when things turned for the worst and the situation called for your powers, you’d rather sink into the ground.
And it was not all because of the physical discomfort that the tentacles brought. After enough experiences you had gotten used to the quite literal gut-wrenching and pulling that came with it. It was the fact you had no way of controlling them once they appeared. It always took such immense physical and mental strain to direct them, not to mention retract them again, that it took days for you to get back to normal.
You could usually tell when it would be a particularly bad case. Like right now, as you screamed with all your might, trying to push the monster inside you back where it belonged. The scream could have been enough to daze most of your enemies, and so you were sure that after some rest, the others would want you to pursue some training in that department to see what kind of damage you could do with your voice. Since that’s all you were good for— a weapon of destruction.
The scream kept on going until you couldn’t take it any further. There was the familiar release in your abdomen; everything around you fell to silence as you fell to your knees. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you, and at the contact, you could not help but wince.
‘Shh, it’s alright, I got you.’ It was Logan. With an ease that never failed to impress you, he picked you up in his arms. He could feel you shaking, and you were unable to keep your eyes open for longer than a few seconds at a time. Just like he had thought, the effects of using your powers so extensively were taking a toll on you. That much was clear, but no one ever listened to him.
‘Stay with me, sweetheart.’ He wiped some of your hair from your face. ‘You’re save now.’
‘Logan?’ your voice came out so weak it nearly made his own legs buckle. 
‘I’m right here.’ He spoke softly, letting his lips hover over your face so you could not only hear his heartfelt words, but also feel them as his breath tickled your burning cheeks. ‘Let’s get you home, hmm.’
the end.
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thank you for reading 💗
if you enjoyed the fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. or send a message via my inbox. requests are also more than welcome. 💗
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baurbiediv · 1 year
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silk press
rafe cameron x black!gf
content warning: smut (wrap b4 u tap) use of “mama” like twice, go read the rest, i don’t wanna spoil it pookie
authors update: yooo, this shit is NOT proofread, if you see any mistakes mind your businesssss!!! 😭😭 mdni!!
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the sound of drake’s ‘cameras/good ones do interlude’ could be heard over the sounds of heavy panting, the smell of weed filling the air along with your soft whimpering, “r-rafe.. s-stop you’re gonna mess up my h-hair-“ you breathed out, hand faintly tapping on his lower stomach. but before another word could escape your lips, rafe grabbed your chin, shutting you up.
“move your hand away from my stomach or i’ll stop.” you quickly moved your hand as you gripped onto his arm for dear life. so now here you were, getting your shit pounded in cause someone couldn’t control himself, it amazed you how this man had you folded in half like a pretzel, your legs were almost pressed into your chest, knees shy of being able to touch your chest thanks to rafe’s big hands, his nails digging into the skin on your thighs. rafe pushed your dress further up your stomach, wanting nothing more than to be closer to you.
but what what more could this man have possibly wanted? he was balls deep inside of his beautiful girlfriend, watching her eyes threaten to roll to the back of her head, the small necklace he bought you with his initial ‘r’ studded in diamonds, placed perfectly on your chest, just the sight of that had his dick growing hard inside of you. rafe’s hand snakes down and pressed down onto your stomach, causing a loud moan to rip from your lips, rafe’s arm just seemingly wasn’t enough for you, he was quite literally fucking you dumb. his hips ramming into the plush of your ass. “you feel me right there?” he asked as he grabbed your hand, pressing your hand down on the bulge. thank god for this empty lot covered in trees or this would’ve been a real nasty sight to see. rafe’s blacked out jeep with the passenger door open, your feet sitting pretty on his shoulders, his hand holding the nape of your neck, a mix your cum and his from previous orgasm spilling out of you and creating a sticky white ring around the base of his dick.
rafe kept an arm extended around the nape of your neck, keeping your head upright. he loved when he had you like this, melting under his touch. “hey,” he said, snapping his fingers in front of your face. your eyes were threatening to close on him as you felt the tip of your orgasm on your tongue, “i need you to keep those pretty brown eyes on me mama, you hear me?” you nodded, as you did your best to keep your eyes open just like he asked you to, but of course he made that impossible, because you felt the calloused fingertips of his ring and middle finger rubbing on your swollen clit. your mouth fell open as he caught notice of this “shhh, i got you, i got you.” he whispered as he leaned in closer to you, opening your legs wider, allowing him to shove his dick deeper into you. his fingers sped up on the swollen bud, not letting up.
your moans progressively getting louder and louder, the only way of shutting you up was rafe lightly squeezing your neck, his lips ghosting yours, “if you make one loud fucking noise, you risk getting us caught, you don’t want that do you?” he asked, you shook your head almost instantly, you really did try your hardest to pay attention to what he was telling you, but you couldn’t. he looked so good, sweat covering his forehead, neck and chest. his gold chain resting nicely on his chest as it shined under the dim light of the car, along with that god forsaken black tank top, but you nodded along to his words not thinking anything of it, your legs started shaking, your stomach feeling funny.
rafe’s dick was hitting all the right places, he had your your toes curling, “s-shit rafe s-low downn!!” you squeaked out, his movements never halting, “i-i’m gonna c-cum!!” you arched your back off the seat, rafe smirking, “i got you, come on.” he said, rubbing your clit faster, applying more pressure. your hand flew to his stomach as your juices splurted over his fingers, his abs and lower stomach and dick. your body fell back against the seat, your thighs feeling sticky, “hey that was cute and all but i’m still not done.” rafe mutters before pulling out of you, you whine from the lost contact, and before you know it he’s pulling your legs further out of the car and flipping you over onto your stomach, “r-rafe baby there’s no room-“, you were cut off before rafe’s pushing his dick back into your sensitive pussy, his left hand pushed down on your back to deepen your arch as much as he could while his right hand made its way back to your hair, “i don’t care,” he moaned loudly pushing your head further down into the seat, the sound of your ass clapping against his stomach has rafe’s head going crazy.
you poorly attempted to cover your mouth, whines slipping out occasionally, this all he wanted. you placed your hand on the console for support. this was all he ever wanted, he was able to fuck his pretty girl, y/n, and he in fact he believed she was prettiest girl on kildare and he knew he wanted you the minute he spotted you at the country club with your family. and what happened? he got exactly what he wanted, he was a smooth talker and he talked his way right a relationship with you, and this was the outcome.
your hand of course made its way back to his stomach, this time removing his hand from your head and pinning your wrist down onto your back, your whimpers grew louder, “rafe, it’s t-too muchhhhh” you whined, “that’s okay, you can do it, i-i’m close..” he groaned loudly, hearing him panting behind you, his hips hitting harder and deeper, you felt the familiar feeling of your pussy squeezing around him. “where do you want me?” he breathed, squeezing the skin of your hips, your overstimulation pushing both you and rafe to the edge. “inside p-please,” you whimpered out feeling hot spurts of his cum shoot inside your pussy. rafe pulled out of you, your hips jerked and your legs shook a little. he pulled his boxers and nike sweats back up as he presses a kiss against your lips before smiling. he closed your car door before making his way to the passenger side. you slowly closed your legs as you sat up looking for your black thong, “first you fuck up my silk press then you steal my thong??” you huff.
“‘m sorry baby, i’ll pay for you to get your hair done again and who cares about that stupid thong, i’ll buy you 10 more, how does that sound?” he looked over at you, as he sat back in his seat. your arms were crossed but you couldn’t help the smile that was evident on your face.
he leaned over the console, “gimmie a kiss.”
he said, you obliged and leaned over and kissed his lips.
“i love you y/n.” “i love you more rafey.”
did you guys miss me?? 😏
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winterarmyy · 1 year
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Promise Me | Part I
When he was sent out for war, Bucky made a promise to his lover that might just last through several lifetimes.
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Summary: Y/N kept being reincarnated into the world for seemingly endless of lifetimes with the lasting, vivid memories of her past lover during the 40's, Sargent James B. Barnes. While she thought this was a 'punishment' for her sins, she was also unknowingly oblivious to the fact that James was still alive somewhere, almost forever frozen in the time.
Navigation: Part I | Part II | Part III (end)
Words: 6.5k++ (hella long bc lots to cover in the story building part)
Pairing: 40s!bucky / eventually tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: just slow induced angst for your daily consumption (i guess?) It has a hopeful ending so don't let the first warning chase you away. reincarnation concept. an attempt to follow exact mcu timeline (forgive if i'm wrong at certain parts). slight religious contents. grief & loss. graphic violence. deaths. mention of suicide. a lot of reader's pov, story building > dialogs (sorry guys).
P/S: Another impulsive writing from me y'all. I hope you don't get bored of this tendency of mine lol. I just need to let the fantasies out before it consumes me. So... anyway, it's gonna be another 3 parts fic cause for the love of god, I cannot commit for more :') Also, my first attempt of writing 40's bucky!!! I'm honestly scared. I hope you like it!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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Italy, 1943 – His return
If it was one thing that Bucky should expect when he decided to be in a relationship with Y/N was that he had to accept her for who she was; stubborn, clumsy, bold, clever, sweet and most certainly the prettiest dame he ever met.
He might have unknowingly signed up for it the moment he quite literally fell for her at one of those Stark's science expo. Bucky had been stealing glances at this one pretty lady in the crowd, adored in soft mint dress that falls right below her knees.
It wasn't even a scandalous dress to wear in public but somehow Bucky was more than ecstatic to marvel at her beauty. There was no such thing as a too long of a stare, especially when she laughed like that; throwing her head in amusement, the loose strands of her curls fall back across her shoulders as they slightly shook to the rhythm of her laughter.
A careless misstep, that Bucky could see from a mile away, had caused her to stagger backwards and twisted her ankle into an inevitable fall. Somehow, Bucky managed to slither his way through the crowd towards her, almost jumping forward to catch her before she landed on the ground.
Not only that he was the one who fell first, but he also fell hard.
So, it was expected that Bucky knew what he had got himself into. At least, that was what Y/N had been repeating in her head to convince herself for what she had done. Now that she was sitting at the back of the wobbly military truck, the fear had slowly started to seep into her, causing shivers to crawl all over her nerves.
Y/N just knew it in her guts that Bucky would be absolutely furious when he sees her but what does he expect her to do when she hadn't receive any letters from him for months now. So, when she heard that they needed more medical helpers at the Italy base, she signed up without thinking twice about it.
"There has been a recent attack on the 107th. Too many casualties and much more whose heavily injured. You might have your hands full the moment you arrive to the base. There are few rules..." The lieutenant's voice was rigid just as his demenour when he continued to inform the situation to the troops of medical staff.
No matter how much she wanted to pay attention to his words, Y/N couldn't help but to tune in only at his first few sentences. Casualties, heavily injured. Her hands moved to search for the cross pendent hanging from the necklace around her collarbone, gripping it tight as she prayed that her lover was not categorized under any of those dire circumstances.
What the lieutenant said in that truck could never be more true as the moment they stepped into the medic tent, Y/N and the others were quickly pulled to assist the fallen men. It was truly heartbreaking and horrid to witness the dreading truth behind what the public posed as the "heros of the country'.
Surely they were proud to fight for the nation but then again no human being should ever had to suffer the consequences of war; not the civilians and certainly not the soldiers.
After seemingly hours of continuous stitching, wrapping and patching up; surrounded sound of groaning pain and the endless cycle of inhaling the distinct scent of fresh blood, burned flesh and the bitter of anticeptic odor; the injured soldiers were finally taken care of and had been put to rest.
Y/N looked around the tent, noting the unorganized mess around the patients; the result of the panic and chaos of the whole situation. A thought came to her mind, she might need to do some cleaning up before writing down medical record for each one of the patients.
That was when the lieutenant entered into the tent, and his stern gaze swiftly analyzed the much calmer scene, "Thank you for your service, everybody. I assume the soldiers are stabilized?"
"Yes, sir." One of the battalion doctor replied as he approached, while the rest of the team watched from where they stood.
The lieutenant simply nodded, "Good." He paused for awhile and looked around,  "Now, have any of you met Captain America before?"
There were bunch of no's murmured around the medical staff, some of them just shook their head as an answer and the lieutenant nodded again as he informed, "Well, I guess you are all just darn lucky cause he's here to perform. You are invited to come and join the others to watch, if you want to."
"Steve's here?" She thought to herself.
As the lieutenant continued to explain some things about accommodation, food and medical supplies, Y/N's head were filled with thought that her dear friend, Steve was there too.
"I wonder if he gotten any words from James."
"Maybe he got letters from him?"
"Or could it be that he was here to find James too?
There were so many questions kept circulating in her head that by the time she snapped out of them, the lieutenant was already long gone and some of the medic staff went out to untangle themselves from the hours of stressful tension.
As a nurse herself, she felt the need to take care of her patients and finish her job before anything else. So, she started to clean up the shredded clothes, bloodied guazes and the other medical tools that needed to be sterilized and put away.
By the time she finished, it finally dawned to her that there was no trace of Bucky in the medic tent. Which means he didn't fall into the heavily injured category. So, there was two left; the one she prayed for and the other that dreaded her to even think about.
Y/N quickly made her way towards the tent where she can find the soldier in charge. However, if she was focused during one of the lieutenant's speech in the truck, she would've heard that she and the others were not authorized to enter certain parts of the base, which include the higher ups' tents.
When she was turned down by the soldiers, she sadly walked away towards the main area where Steve was supposed to perform. The drag of her feet across the dusty sand was heavy but no more heavier than the burden in her heart.
She watched as her black pump shoes gradually covered with light sand. Finding it odd that a few weeks ago she was standing on the shiny tile of a hospital in Brooklyn and now she was halfway across the world in the middle of the chaos of a war.
The things she'd do for love.
Soon enough, the dry ground was wet from the sudden down pour, turning it into a murky soggy path. Y/N quickly ran towards the main area where apparently the show was long over. "Did I missed Steve?" She thought as she stepped into the tent where the performers supposed to be.
The tent turned out to be empty and only the sound of drizzling raindrops above it was left behind. She looked around the area and saw the costumes for the performers were still there; the pleated white and red skirt hanging on the rack, white gloves clipped with them, the captain's shield with notes sticking at the back of it and the iconic blue helmet-mask thingy plastered with the obvious letter.
She peeked a little to the right only to see Steve hunched down on the floor, curling into himself just as he always did back when he was left beaten up in the alleyway somewhere in Brooklyn. She guessed that the upgrade of his size doesn't really change his habits.
Y/N walked closer to see him holding his sketchbook on one hand and another was a pencil pressing across the paper, lining the drawing of a monkey on a unicycle. "I guess the serum does not amplify your art skills huh Steve?" she teased as she approached the blonde man.
Steve lifted up his head as he turned towards the familiar voice, "y/n?" His face lit up as he recognized her face. He stood on his feet and pulled her into a tight hug, "It's so good to see you." He sighed, he haven't seen her since his departure when she insisted for him to stay.
But alas, Steve was also as stubborn as her.
It took awhile for him to process it but when it came to him, he gently pushed her away, "Wait.. what are you doing here?" His brows creased into a worried frown.
Y/N simply smiled as she responded, "They needed help, so I volueentered."
Steve shook his head in disbelief, "Bucky made me promise not to let you do stuff like this." In which Y/N countered, "And he also remind you not to do anything stupid until he get back so..." she purposely trailed her words for him to draw the conclusion on his own.
He let out a long sighed before concluding, "Bucky's gonna kill us."
Since, Bucky was in the topic, Y/N took the oppurtunity to asked Steve about him, "About that, have you heard--"
A woman's voice came from her back, cutting in between her words, "Steve?"
Steve nervously untangled himself from Y/N as he shyly greeted the woman, "Hi."
The woman continued to stare at Y/N trying to figure out her role and relationship with Steve but before she could get any strange idea, he quickly introduced her, "This is y/n. She's my good friend from home."
A spark of realization glint through her eyes "I see. I'm Peggy. Nice to meet you." She extended her hand towards Y/N, in which Y/N gladly shook it in hers as she reintroduced herself, "You too. I'm y/n."
After the brief exchange of smile between the two ladies, Steve continued to asked Peggy, "What are you doing here?"
Peggy sighed as she explained, "Officially, I'm not here at all." She paused as she picked her words, "I just came by to oversee the situation after the recent attack."
Although Y/N knew what Peggy meant, she was one of the medic staff that had been stitching up the aftermath of that attack after all. However, Steve on the other hand seemed to be lost.
Peggy further explained, "Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano, more than 200 men went up against him and less than 50 returned." She paused, "Your audience contained what's left of the 107th."
Steve's blues widen in realization that almost looked much like panic, "The 107th?"
"What?" Peggy prompt quickly.
Steve then turned his head to Y/N, "Bucky?" He questioned shortly.
But even she was hoping that he'll know something about Bucky, apparently she was wrong, "I tried to ask but I'm not authorized to enter the tent. I was hoping you heard from him."
Seeing the panic in Steve's eyes, she knew that her lover was no where near the safety that she prayed for. But before fear could set in, Steve sprinted out of the tent, "Come on!" he shouted as Y/N and Peggy ran closely behind him.
When they arrived to the tent, fortunately they had the permission to enter with the help of Peggy. "Well, if it isn't the Star-Spangled Man With A Plan. What is your plan today?" Colonel Philips greeted in a teasing manner.
Steve didn't even bother to greet the colonel as he demanded, "I need the casualty list from Azzano." In which the Philips responded, "You don't get to give me orders, son."
Knowing that arguments won't help the situation, he control his tone of voice and spoke, "I just need one name, Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th." He took a short breath and insisted, "Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R-"
Colonel Phillips stood on his feet as he walked towards a table behind him, "I can spell. I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count." He paused before turning around to eye on Steve and briefly on the very worried looking nurse next to him.
"But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." There was a flash of sincerity in his eyes when he looked towards Y/N.
The optimistic Steve continued to insist more about other possibilities than casualties, "What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" They went back and forth about the what is the 'right' thing to do, "Yes, it's called 'winning the war'. "
And suddenly sound of the heavy rain fall was all Y/N could hear, then comes the booming of her heartbeat as the panic started to deprive her of any optimism, clouding her judgment to think of anything near to positive outcomes such as Steve.
It was getting harder to breath and the anxitey slowly choked her, forcing tears to pool in her eyes. Peggy swiftly took a hold on Y/N, before her knees managed to fall to the ground. The muffled sound of Peggy's voice managed to come through but not enough to wake her from the despair.
Before she knew it, Steve was already gone for an unauthorized rescue mission with the help from Peggy. And ever since, Y/N had spend every waking moment digging her knees into the uneven ground. Her elbows bruised from how hard she propped them on the steel edge of the army green cot. Her palms almost dented to shape of the silver cross as she desperately squeeze it between her hold.
She prayed and prayed for his return. For both of her dearest to be safe, to find their way home.
And for a moment Y/N thought her prayers were graciously granted by God, as the crowd was getter louder and the circle of soldiers were geting thicker when the survivors joined the rest of them. There were chantings of "Captain America" that echoed throughout the base and that gave her relief to know that Steve was safe.
But it was not enough to tame her anxiousness. Y/N's focus has never been sharper when her eyes scanned the crowd, she slithered her way between the jumping joy of the soldiers, grabbing onto some men who she mistook as Bucky until she saw him.
Her heartbeat ramped increasingly as she pushed through the soldiers, finding strength from the blood pumping excitement when she recognize those steel blues and that cheeky smile. Not long before she managed to grab onto his hand and pulled his attention to her.
It was brief but he knew that face anywhere; and suddenly his whole body was engulf into a familiar tight hug that he thought he could never be able to feel again. "James." her voice still stuttered even if it was just one word that came out of her lips.
"y/n?" Bucky called her name, almost in disbelief.
God, she never knew that she was able to miss his voice this much.
"Doll, what you doing here?" He gently lead her away, which she reluctantly followed, "I'm here for you." There was no need of lies now that Bucky was here in her arms.
His gaze soften with a mix of concern and joy, "What do you mean you're here for me?" Bucky couldn't help but to let out a short laugh, "Sweetheart, you do realized that you're in the middle of a war?" His brows quirked as he reminded.
Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course, she realized that. The moment she saw that form for enlistment, she knew. But, it didn't stop her to sign up, does it?
She laced her fingers into his, "I didn't come all the way here to fight with you, James." she whispered as she leaned closer, "So, please just shut up and kiss me."
Bucky might have just realized it now; what a stubborn, demanding, crazy little lover got himself. Though at the same time, she had never charmed him more.
Bucky sighed in defeat before running his tongue on his lower lip, "Well then, come here you little minx" he took her by the head and gave her the most desperate yet sweetest kiss she could never forget.
Brooklyn, 1944 – Promises, promises
It was the day that Steve, Bucky and the rest of the Howling Commandos were depolying to the Austrian Alps for one of the biggest mission since Captain's impulsive rescue mission in Italy last year.
Apparently, Zola was on the move and predicted to be passing though the location while travelling on a train.
This wasn't the first time she had sent Bucky away, but the fear of each always felt like it was her first; especially when she thought about the promise of death that's chained to a soldier's fate.
The closer the time of departure, the stronger her grip on Bucky's uniform becomes. And Bucky didn't need to say anything because he knows her too well; she won't take any of his sweet words as a cure for her distress.
Bucky slowly swayed her from side to side as their embrace tightens with need; her face hidden in the crook of his neck while his arms secured around her waist. He had to smile as it reminded him of their late night dance, barefoot on the kitchen floor of his apartment.
He could feel the teasing gaze coming from his back as well as the whistles of the Howling Commandos playfully making fun of him. Bucky was also well aware of the fact that everyone had made theirs bets on when will the Sargent James B. Barnes finally get down on his knees for his little nightingale of a nurse.
Unsurprisingly, Steve might just win the bet afterall. That punk just had know everything about him.
Y/N closer snuggled into him one last time, "Come home to me, James." She whispered against his skin before pulling away. Teary eyes threatened to spill its salty liquid as she looked up at him, "Promise me."
Bucky's charming smile lighten his features as he leaned to press a kiss in her forehead, "I promise."
Brooklyn, 1945 – Loved and lost
Months gone by, entered the new year, and it always felt like eternity for Y/N. She spent nights kneeling next to her bed and days on the church's floor; practically begging to God for the life of her lover, for keeping him away from death.
And the letters from Bucky also come and goes within those few months' time, with his promises of coming home that's laced in the words of his longing and love for her.
But, little did she knew, that promise met it's end of the bargain when the dreaded letter came to her hands. It came from the man she met back in Italy base, Colonel Phillips, sending the words of condolences for the death Sargent James B. Barnes during his honourable mission at the Austrian Alps.
But the first time she read to words, it didn't even register in her head. It was as if her brain failed to translate the message for her to understand. Y/N had been re-reading the same lines over and over and over until it finally clicked.
The usually bright eyes of hers were now slowly filled with tears, she was in the state of shock; that even if her brain knew exactly what had happened but her heart wasn't ready for it. 
The tears started to fall down onto the letter. Drip by drip. And all of the sudden she lost every word that she could ever think of. Her silent scream; suffocating her with each breath she took desperately gripping onto the fragile piece of paper, holding it to her chest hold as if that would help to ease the pain in her heart.
Y/N could feel it in her ripping guts. How all the threads of every joyful memories she could ever once recall; they  unraveled in a way that broke her to pieces until they were all but a rumpled of strings scattered about her feet.
A sharp fall had forced Y/N down to her knees, skin digging into the hard floor as her hands trembled silently, clutching onto the letter.
At first when she opened her mouth, there was not a single sound came out as her breath ripped from her lungs. Each left her with scars of loss and every waking minute in this reality was just pure pain.
Her body bend forward until her forehead meets the floor, that was when she wailed; an agonizing scream that left a haunting memory to the neighbours around her apartment.
She cried like there was too much raw pain inside that she could never contained. She cried like her soul needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release a loathful rage on the world. 
But it was more than just crying, it was the sobbing of a woman that drained of all hope. She sank on floor, willing herself to be swallowed by the dread and loss. Just screaming out the agonies that been dancing across her vulnerable veins. 
Her chest violently quivered as she was desperately trying to catch the air. She collected every last energy that she had to call out the name of the lover she had loss, "James.." Her gasping breath whispered against the floor, "You promised." 
A month later the nation celebrate to the announcement to the end of a war, but to Y/N it was just another wave of mourning grief to a loss of another precious person in her life; Steve.
Amidst the loud sound of cheering and laughter, she rushed away from the crowd to the place that she had put all her faith into. Stumbling through the empty church and falling at the feet of Jesus' statue, Y/N looked up at the face if God with loath, rage, despair, and tears.
The night was brighten to the flashing light from the firework but all she could think of was how similar the sound of it to a firing canon in the war. And the thought of Bucky and Steve run through her mind.
She had been nothing but faithful to the lord, religiously prayed for no more than saving the life of people she held dear to her heart.
But, God thought it would be merciful to let them die.
Y/N harshly ripped the cross necklace from her neck, tearing her skin apart in the process. She gripped on the cross in her hands, much like she would few month back but for completely different reason.
The crimson of her blood tainted her white collar of her nurse uniform as she she cursed the all mighty God for what he had done. Ever since, she swore to herself to never be naive to the illusion of God's mercy ever again.
Washington D.C., 2014 – An old friend
Fate is full with irony and God has his way of twisting them for his own pleasure.
When Y/N died in the 60's, old and unmarried, even if she doesn't believe in God anymore, her dying wish was to be able to meet her lover and friend again.
At least one more time.
But lo and be hold, God had different plans for her. Y/N's body did die that night on the hospital bed but her soul never did. It was as if she was woken up from sleep in another body with the same face as her, that's when she realized she has been reincarnated.
Apparently, she was only born in the same family lineage as her original life; whether coming from her younger brother or cousin or anyone related back to her bloodline. And sharing even the tiniest amount of blood of her own, triggers every single memory from her previous life.
This wasn't what she wanted.
She didn't want to live knowing she cannot be with Bucky.
So on the 2nd life, she did the unthinkable. She took her own life, thinking that she would finally leave the world behind but she didn't.
It happened again.
And again.
And again.
So, when she reached her 6th life, she realized that she will never able to meet James and Steve ever again; that was when she went rogue.
Her 6th life was filled with rage and vengeance that she took the idea of life very lightly. So, instead of living until the old days, she searched for revenge and got herself tragically killed in the process.
Now, the 18 year old Y/N was in her 7th life, with a new name that was given by her 7th parents, "Evelyn" , and the spitting image of her 1st life. From her dark raven hair to the light brown of her eyes. This time, she decided to try to accept the cruel fate; the cursed that God had placed on her for the sin that she made decades ago.
Y/N walked around the Smithsomian Museum, specifically at the American history section where they put up Captain America's exhibit. It's been how many lifetimes since she surround herself with knowledge of a past that she once lived.
This was the first time, since her first life. And most probably the last time since she was going overseas in a week to continue her studies in Asia.
She walked along the line up display of the Howling Commandos suits, remembering the living flesh of them as she took steps forward to each, stopping in front of Bucky's.
Flashes of him appeared to where the figure stood; the memories was so vivid that she could still feel fabric of his suit against her, the electrifying feeling on his skin on her own.
She ripped her gaze away just to be greeted by the portrait of Bucky, plastered so hugely on the memorial of one of the Howling Commandos section. Despite the cracking of her heart, her body move on its own; as they knew that deep down, Y/N's heart will always be yearning for her lover.
Her gaze soften with longing and nostalgic as she slowly blink at his features. His considerably messy hair, that little frown that he does to act mysterious for the ladies, and the thin layer of beard that she loved to leave her lipstick marks on.
Y/N's daydream were cut short when someone pulled her by the arm, startling her into a defensive mode. Her 6th life's habit almost broke through when she nearly flipped the man on the floor but thankfully she stopped herself as she recognized those blue eyes.
The man's face looked pale like he had seen a ghost, as he uttered a name that she haven't heard for decades, "y/n?"
"Steve..." she called his name wordlessly.
She knew he was alive. Everybody does, when the news came out in 2011, she was merely a 15 year old kid back then. Apparently, the super soldier serum helped him to survive the ice.
She remembered how her parents rushed to her room when they heard the sudden cluttering sounds of panic upstairs, only to find their daughter on the floor looking pale while her cup of iced coffee spilling in all over her study desk as the viral youtube video of Captain America running through New York city barefoot.
She remembered the feeling of both disbelief and joy that rushed through body as her parents helped her to sit up on her bed. The moment that it sunk into her head, she began to cry. Streams of joyful tears broke from her shaky body, each drop washed the painful burden in her heart as her parents lulled her to sleep.
Y/N never made an effort to meet him after knowing truth because who would've believe her words?
She wasn't Steve. There wasn't any super soldier serum in her blood. There wasn't any tank of chemical that drown her with power.
She was cursed and now she had to live with it.
Meanwhile, Steve seemed to be trapped in a spiralling confusion of his own. He examined each of her features and he had not a single doubt that she has the same face to an old friend in the 40's.
The same friend that he knew died of old age in the 60's.
But, how come the person managed to have the exact same face to hers. Now that he looked closer, she was younger than the last time he saw Y/N. She looked like she was in her teens, "Are you really y/n?" His voice was soft as he muttered.
Y/N bit the insides of her cheeks, holding back the urge of telling him the truth, "Sorry, I think you got the wrong person." she tried to untangle his grasp around the thin of her arm.
Even her voice was similar to Y/N, and she was looking at Bucky's photo like she knew him.
How could she say that she's was not Y/N?
Steve reluctantly let go of her arms and took a step away after seeing the distress on her face, "I-I'm sorry. You remind me of someone I know." He couldn't take his eyes off her.
She was just too similar looking to someone precious that he left behind.
"It's okay, sir." She smiled gently, like the way she usually does when Steve apologizes for his impulsiveness of picking a fight in alleyways. She looked up to the taller man as she continued, "Thank you for being alive..." she hesitated to call him by his name so instead she called for his other name, "...Captain."
She thanked him sincerely before walking away, leaving Steve to reminisce the memories of his life with Y/N and Bucky as he stared at Bucky's memorial.
The next week, she left the United States for Asia where she planned to spend 4 years studying at the National University of Singapore, leaving her past behind in hopes of moving forward with her life, refusing to care about the avengers shenanigans anymore, including her dear friend, Steve.
New York, 2018 – New norms
When half of the population was wiped out from the earth, two of them was Y/N's parents. And like every other people who had lost their loved ones during the blip, her parents sudden absence truly take a toll on her, especially when she was planning to live a long life with them.
After graduating and getting a decent job in Singapore, she was forced to go back to New York when it happened. Y/N couldn't just let her childhood house left abandoned, she simply can't let that happen.
You would thought a person who had multiple lifetimes would be used to losing someone they love but no. It only gets worst as the years go by.
The more Y/N tried to fit into the new norms, the more that she could feel herself slipping into old habits of her 6th life.
Until that one drunken night when she visited the Smithsomian Museum again after years of forcing herself to forget about him; it took her one look at the potrait of Bucky, she knew what she had to do.
Germany, 2023 – An old nemesis
Nearly 5 years into the blip and Y/N was already becoming a legend in the underground scene. They called her the Deathstalker. She never really knew the origin of it but nevertheless she chooses to stick with the newly founded identity.
With the skills she picked up on her 6th life, she easily became the most deadly assassin in the business, seemingly in a constant competition of reputation with the highly popular, black widow assassins.
Though she couldn't care less about who was winning the battle, she only cares about tracking anything or anyone related to Hydra.
After that fateful night at the museum, she couldn't to think that this must be her calling.
If the curse made her technically immortal, then why not became the hunter destined to slay the monster. They said that Hydra will never die, but so was she. And if anything good came out from this curse, then she might as well use it to avenge Bucky.
And bring the old nemesis to the ground.
Her 6th life was similar to this but she wasn't going to make the same mistake. The flaming greed to have her revenge was too strong back then, it lead her to be hasty and clumsy, which then let her to an early death.
But, she's grown out of those immaturity.
Nowadays, she takes her time and still get the job done flawlessly. Just like she is now, when the soft but dark sound of her chuckle, interrupted the silence that had claimed the room.
The poor man was sitting limp on the chair with his body tied with it. He had been like this for seemingly hours with a knife in one of his thighs, which trembled with the vibrations of his body.
More so, when Y/N twisted them, causing a keen of pain to clawed up his throat and spilled out a hoarse groan.
"Where is it?" Her fingers wrapped around the handle, as she watched the man tossed his head, more with fear than trying to answer.
"I don't like to repeat myself." Y/N slid the blade free, causing a noise he would not forget. The man sagged against his bonds, panting as he watched the blood surged and dribbled out of the wound.
But then he felt the prick against his other leg, wide eyes turning to watch as the knife was held above his skin, Y/N's hand flat against the top, ready to push in. "Where the fuck is it?" her tone was eerie as the voice changer in her mask produced an emotionless robotic effect on it.
"I don't know what you're talking about." The thick german accent seethed through his voice as he grunted in pain.
There was only boredom in Y/N's eyes as she gazes straight into his. A stab of the knife went through his thigh without a warning, until the tip of it almost met the flat surface of the chair beneath it.
The whole room echoed with the sound of the whimpering and cries of his struggle, "Please, I swear to God I don't know what you're talking about." He pleaded as fast as he can, when he felt the shortage of breaths in his lungs due to dealing with the excruciating pain.
"Playing dumb isn't going to help you, mutt." She twisted the knife, pulled out and stabbed it again causing him to fall into an almost delirious state, "Please, please please, I swear I don't know anything about the serum." He blurted out of misery.
There it was.
The thing she wanted to hear.
Y/N's eyebrow quirked in interest, "I never mentioned the serum in our conversation, no?"
He fucked up.
He knew that he fucked up.
But, does it matter when his body was searing in pain?
By the end of the intense interrogation, Y/N finally got the intel she needed to find and destroy whatever was left behind by Wilfred Nagel, who was recruited by the CIA to recreate the super soldier serum.
Those greedy fuckers just cannot stay away from things that shouldn't be meddled with. Even Y/N could see the potential threats of a successful recreation the super soldier serum; they were practically asking for Hydra to revive to its glory days.
And she would not allow that to happen.
She needed to destroy it before its finished.
A loud wail left the man's lips, almost sounded a little strained as he had been screaming in pain for hours. Y/N mercilessly grabbed him by his sweaty chin as she pried his mouth open. Knowing exactly what was coming, the man begged, "Oh lord, please please help me please."
Leaning closer she coldly spoke, "The gods doesn't care about you. Trust me I've been there." With a swift strike, she forced her knife down his throat, and a splash of red tainted her mask, nearly got into her eyes but she managed to blink before it does.
She stood still as she watched him gurgle on his own blood as death collected his soul. Wiping the blood away from her eyelid, she walked out of the abandoned building with a mission to finish; all the while blissfully oblivious to the war that the avengers were fighting to their death on the other side of the world.
Madripoor, 2024 – The most prized asset
The returned of her parents were as sudden as the lost. Though she was glad that they were back, however she had to live a double life now that they kept asking about her job and personal life as they wanted to catch up for the lost of time in 5 years.
Y/N felt bad for lying to her parents but it was for their own good. Now, that she had sent them to a honeymoon to travel all over Europe, she felt better in pursuing her mission without concerns.
Besides the joyful return there was also the awful ones.
Now, that Wilfred Nagel was back from the blip. The serum was perfected to its finest version. And was stolen by bunch of kids protesting for equal rights.
What a fucking mess that was.
But, she would deal with that later. The main focus right now was to find the man itself. There would be no more serums if the source is eradicated.
That was her priority.
With her face hidden behind her signature mask, Y/N walked through the messy crowd as she searches for Shelby's men. This should be a short meeting, since Shelby and her had history together; or more to a favour that she owns to Y/N.
However, when she tried to tune in into the hushed conversations in the crowd, she noticed that the murmurs seemed to be divided into two hot topics; one about the sudden appreance of the Deathstalker, which was herself, and second was surprisingly about the return of another notorious assassin. 
Then when the conversations died down, a fight suddenly broke out. Y/N hold on the handle of her blades from the side of her thighs, as she stiffed into a defensive mode.
While on the other hand, the crowd seemed to be more interested in recording the fight, than avoiding it.
She seemlessly weaved her way through the people, only to see that the action ended with a man choked onto the table of bar. The attacker's face turned away from her where she could only see his figure from the back.
Then, a gleam of gold caught her attention, Y/N squinted her eyes as she analyzed the man's left arm.
It was not the pattern of the sleeve from his suit.
It was his arm.
A black bionic arm.
Which reminded of her of someone she came across in her 6th life; but his was a tin foil silver with a red star on his upper arm. At the time, he was Hydra's most prized asset, they called him the Winter Soldier.
Part II >>
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A/N: yes, I am well aware that left y'all hanging but I still hope you enjoy this one. Tell me what you think so far, I'm curious if y'all cry at the part where she received the letter or maybe you can comment of something else, I'd still love to hear them ♡
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mm-lurking · 8 months
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Why do you care? - Blade
Perhaps you should have thought twice before deciding to take on a powerful enemy at night or perhaps you shouldn’t have, if it means you get a certain someone to care about you.
I wrote this at 11 pm sleep deprived and out of my mind for like many nights straight please forgive me in advance for the grammar etc English is like my 4th language thank you WC: 3440 words Warnings: none just angst, fluff, some description of blood and wounds and me being a simp —
Your blade clashes with the Antimatter Legion creature’s weapon continuously leaving no room for you to think or even plan an escape. With each strike you find yourself feeling weaker and wobbly, as if the enemy were quite literally taking your strength away. The large wound on your back stings and burns and you can feel blood dripping down your ripped shirt, soaking into your pants and splattering on the floor. If it weren’t for the stupid enemy ambushing you and leaving you with a slash on your back, you would have already beaten the crap out of it and gone home for a good night’s sleep.
But no, here you were struggling even to cause reasonable damage that allowed you to deliver the final blow or at least escape. Your movements were getting more fast-paced and aggressive out of frustration which caught the enemy off guard. When will this end?!? With one last ounce of energy you had left in you, you gritted your teeth and struck the creature in the chest, delivering a reasonable blow and causing it to retreat.
“Ha…huff…”
The adrenaline from the fight started to wear out and it didn’t take long before you fell on your hands and knees, clutching your shirt and trying to breathe. You did not have the energy to sit upright, let alone walk back to your residence. Unfortunately for you, the loss of blood caught on quickly. Before you could even formulate a plan your body gave way and you went crashing on the stone pavement head first, with the wound on your back feeling more uncomfortable as the cold winds of the night caressed your back. That’s all you remembered before everything turned black.
- How tardy, Blade tsked as he leaned against the front wall of your residence, waiting impatiently by the door. He had checked the time thrice already in the past ten minutes. As requested by Kafka, you were supposed to meet him at your residence to discuss some business. Why the hell did Kafka choose me for this? he thought to himself, what a waste of my time to associate with someone like her. Yet, despite his annoyance he still waited and waited until his frustration got the better of him.
Glaring at your front door, he walked off. He would let Kafka know later that you weren’t there for whatever reason and ask her to stop sending him to you every time. For some reason no matter how many times he told Kafka he didn’t want to see you, she would still find a way to send him to you. Was it because of some sort of mutual agreement between you and Kafka? Who knows. He didn’t care and nor did he want to. He just wanted to be left alone.
The path he took back home required him to cross the very street you were unconscious on. Of course, he didn’t know that. Blade was walking at his usual pace when he spotted a figure in the distance in the middle of the street, one that looked awfully similar to yours. He tsked again and shook his head. I must be seeing things. Yet as he continued walking, this lingering feeling he had about you continued to pester him and fully manifested when he approached the figure and realised-
“…!”
-it was you. His eyes widened momentarily and his breath hitched as he examined your state, trying to make sense of what had happened to you. There was blood everywhere around you; pools of it that were semi-dried and half-fresh. Your hair was all over the place with most of it soaked in blood from your injuries. And that gash on your back; the way your flesh was practically visible all the way down to the innermost layers of your muscle, the bruises that had started to form around your wound, the scratches and marks on your hands and arms, all of it, every single inch of your injury caused unfamiliar emotions to stir in his heart. It made his blood boil stronger and stronger. In a split second, he knelt by your side, uncaring how your blood soaked into his pants or how he was dirtying his clothes from the pavement dirt.
He gently flipped you over and the sight of your pale face made his heart drop for a moment. There was no sign of life on your face, you looked concerningly peaceful and your forehead had bruised from crashing into the pavement. If it weren't for more fresh blood gushing down his fingers from holding your back, he would have thought he lost you. Blade was no stranger to injuries and wounds. Blood and bruises were a normal day occurrence to him, they were his companion through this cursed immortal life of his. Yet, when it came to you, seeing you in such a state scared him, an emotion he seldom felt. He didn’t care if he was the one to get hurt but if it was you, he couldn’t stand it. He wouldn’t stand it.
Not wanting to waste any more time, he carefully put his arms behind your knees and neck to avoid touching your back before picking you up and walking hastily to the hideout the Stelleron hunters were residing in. Was he a wanted criminal? Yes, but he didn’t care. All that mattered right now was you and your well-being. The door opened with a loud bang and he walked in holding your limp body, his eyes searching everywhere to find a suitable location to tend to your injuries.
“Bladie there you are. How was-”
Kafka stopped talking mid-speech as she noticed Blade and the distressed condition he was in. She stared at the familiar body he was holding and remained speechless before running off to get medical supplies they had lying around for Blade’s mara-struck symptoms. He quickly laid you on your side in his lap and proceeded to build a makeshift bed using blankets and pillows so he could finally tend to your injuries. Kafka returned with supplies in her hands, still confused and flabbergasted at what had occurred and why Blade cared in the first place.
“What happened to her?”
“...”
He said nothing and immediately started to perform first-aid, first gently pushing the torn shirt off your back and brushing your hair aside. Despite his hands being gloved and bandaged, he felt tingles in his fingers as he grazed your skin. Destruction was what he was skilled at yet the way he handled you was gentle and soft, afraid that he would hurt you, as if you were made out of porcelain. He worked skillfully and swiftly on your gash, cleaning and stitching it all up to the best of his abilities before turning to the smaller injuries you had on your arms. By the time he was done with just your back, the moon shone at the highest point of the sky, indicating how long it had taken for him.
But he didn’t care as he looked out the window and then back at you. The moonlight basked your figure in a gentle glow and he found his heart oddly skipping a beat as he stared. Your weak breathing was enough to console him, enough to let him know you were at least alive. Subconsciously he found himself reaching out to caress your cheek, softly tracing over your skin as he watched you for a moment. What was it about you that he couldn’t get enough of? Why was he so persistent in pushing you away while simultaneously wanting your company? Why did he-
“I will call one of her friends over tomorrow to take her to the nearest infirmary.”
Kafka voiced out breaking his line of thoughts. He quickly retracted his fingers and cleared his throat as he worked on your forehead bruise. The woman chuckled and shook her head, smiling slightly. Was this all part of Elio’s plan? Who knows.
“She should be awake in the morning.”
He stated calmly but the burning gaze in his eyes betrayed him. Judging by the severity of your wounds, he wasn’t even sure if you would make it out the night. Kafka said nothing and silence fell once again.
“You should rest Bladie.”
“No need.”
“I can look after her.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
The woman smiled once again and shook her head.
“Alright if you say so. If you need me I will be in the other room. Silverwolf has brought back some interesting information for me to sift through.”
She waved her hand around and left the room leaving Blade alone with you. As he finished putting the last bandage on you, he pulled you closer on his lap, gently placing an arm on your waist to keep you from slipping before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
The image of you lying in your own blood flashed through his head again and his eyebrows furrowed. What if he had never come to save you? What if he had left through some other street and never saw you? The idea of him not seeing you alive again tomorrow, the idea of you no longer coming to meet with Kafka, the idea of you no longer looking in his direction…all of it caused a pang in his heart. It was a strange sensation that he didn’t understand and a feeling he couldn’t quite fathom. The grip on your waist tightened as opened his eyes to look at you. You looked so peaceful and content, almost like you hadn’t been gravely injured at all, like you hadn’t nearly bled to death.
As much as he wanted to remain in this position and watch over you, he had to get medicine for your injuries. He reluctantly placed you on the makeshift bed and placed pillows around to prop you up before getting up to go find some.
A wave of sharp pain surges through your body prompting your consciousness to start awakening. The pain combined with your tired body creates an uncomfortable feeling in you and with each ripple of pain, you find yourself awakening slowly but surely, like a diver trying to reach the water’s surface to break out. 
“Hngh…”
A groan slips out from your mouth as you slowly open your eyes. As you adjust to your surroundings in confusion, the pain of your back wound comes back in full effect causing you to cry out loud. It burns, stings and aches all at once and the threshold is way beyond your bearable pain level. You try to move around but no position eases your suffering and so ultimately you try to sit upright, struggling as tears run down your face. Footsteps quickly approach you and before you can wrap your head around who it is, the figure hurriedly sits down with a bottle in his hand, concern written all over his face as he tries to get you to lie down.
“Bl-blade?”
You say through your tears, choking as you struggle to breathe. You refuse to lay down and uncomfortably shuffle around trying to even get an ounce of relief. Your mind is blurry and confused as you attempt to recall what had happened and what is currently going on.
“You’re hurt.”
He watches as you stare at him through the tears in your eyes and something about that causes those unfamiliar emotions from earlier to stir in his heart again. You shake your head groaning and seething in pain as you attempt to talk.
“Why are you- what-“
“Drink.”
He doesn’t give you an answer and instead supports your neck with one hand as he brings the bottle closer to your face with his other one. You scrunch your face and move away which causes him to frown.
“Foolish. You’re injured. Drink it unless you want to continue withering in pain.”
His voice is sharp and low which causes you to flinch and agree to his request. He brings the bottle up to your lips and you look at him as you take sips. To his surprise, you don’t hesitate to drink down the bitter herbal medicine and finish it in one go. The concoction seems to take immediate effect and you sigh from having temporary relief.
You look back at the man who's holding you up. The tears on your cheeks have dried and you notice he’s still looking at you. There is no emotion on his face yet somehow you can tell he’s concerned and watching out for anything that might happen.
“Blade…why…why do you care?”
There is a small smile on your weary face as you speak. You’re delirious, he notes, seeing how your eyes keep shutting close and how your body seems unable to support itself up. He doesn’t reply to you as usual and stares at you silently.
“I know you hate me…you don’t even like being around me, I know you hate meeting me, if it weren’t for Kafka you wouldn’t even look in my direction…”
You close your eyes and look down as you feel the tears starting to form and run down your face again. At this rate you weren’t sure what was hurting more, the gash on your back or the pain in your heart. You were spilling everything that had been on your mind since the beginning of it all when you first started falling for him. On a normal day, you would never speak your thoughts out like this but nothing about today was normal, was it? What you don’t notice is the tiny frown that has formed on Blade’s face as you speak. You draw a shaky breath as you continue.
“Why did you save me…? You should have left me alone…at least that way you would never see me again and that would make you happy I know-“
“I suggest you shut it.”
You look up as he cuts you off. There is a strange expression on his face consisting of annoyance and anger. He grits his teeth as he holds himself back from saying more. But you being you, you shake your head and continue, the tears now splattering on the blankets lying on the floor as your emotions come out in full force.
“Where are we? Is Kafka here...? I can let her know that she no longer needs to send you to meet me…I’m sure she will understand-“
“I said shut it.”
His voice drops down an octave and you feel fear creep up your spine. Afraid, you drop your head again but you can guess that his crimson eyes are probably aflame right now based on your previous observations. Do you listen? No.
“You don’t have to do this…if Kafka is making you do this you can go now it’s ok-“
“Have you always been this insufferable?!”
The sharpness in his voice and the tightening grip on your neck make you flinch in fear. He quickly lets go when he realises he’s hurting you and exhales. You remain staring at the ground, afraid to look up at his face. Unfortunately, before you can reply to him, the gash on your back starts to hurt again and you tremble, frowning as the pain sharpens.
“What’s wrong?”
There is a hint of panic in his voice as you squirm. Your knuckles turn white from the way you hold onto the blanket and your arms feel weak. Everything turns hazy again and nausea kicks in. A dull throb starts to pound in your head causing a groan to slip from your mouth.
“Y/N.”
He calls your name out as he gently lifts your chin. His frown deepens seeing the pain all over your face. Beads of cold sweat form on the side of your forehead and he notices you’re struggling to breathe again.
“It hurts Blade…it hurts…”
You say softly as your eyes blur again. The endless tears you have shed today in front of him shatter his heart. With each tear that streams down your face, he finds himself in agony, wishing it was him that was hurting instead, wishing that the pain you were dealing with were his to bear. But no, there is nothing he can do except watch you wither from your wounds. He reaches out to cup your face, slowly wiping the tears away with one hand while the other supports your shoulder. You shiver a little from the contact nevertheless welcome it. His touch is unfamiliar yet so soothing on your bare skin.
“Did the medicine wear off?”
You slowly nod yes and he sighs. Your injuries are severe after all, no wonder the concoction didn’t last long. It is a miracle that you are still breathing and conscious after such an event. He looks behind you at the faint glimmers of moonlight. Judging by the dimming rays, it should be dawn soon, he notes.
“Bear it for a little longer, Kafka will have a friend of yours escort you to a nearby infirmary soon.”
To his surprise, you shake your head and lean into the palm of his hand. He freezes momentarily but doesn’t push you away.
“I..remain with me..a little longer..please..?”
Your voice is shaky and barely audible as you make your request. Your puffy eyes flutter close preventing you from seeing how his expression softens a bit and the small smile that forms on his face. He gently pushes you towards him, causing you to lean into his body. You don’t deny the silent invitation and rest your head in the crook of his neck, a tiny smile forming on your face as you inhale his sweet metallic scent. His heartbeat is irregular and louder than usual from how your breath tickles his neck but you are too lightheaded to notice. His hand now rests at the base of your head while the other one lies loosely on your waist, gently caressing you in an attempt to ease your pain. You still squirm and twitch every now and then but it does not bother him, for right now all he cares about making you feel as comfortable as possible.
“I don’t hate you.”
He mutters under his breath. You’re barely conscious so he can say whatever he wants right? Not that you will really remember any of this.
“Hate…is not a word I would use on you.”
He glances at you. Your back rises and falls slowly from your breathing. He takes a look at your injured back once again and clenches his jaw. The bandages he had wrapped around you were starting to become bloody again.
“You perplex me. Yet your outlandish behaviour is so amusing. I cannot stay away from you.”
The fingers around your waist tighten as his grip becomes more firm. You shudder a bit at his action but say nothing. Not that you are in your right mind anyway, everything he says feels like a fever dream, a faraway voice talking to you.
“I prefer having you around. Your company delights me.”
He continues on as he strokes the back of your neck and you hum in content. You fit so perfectly against the palm of his hands and the crook of his neck, almost as if you were meant to be his. Meant to be his companion.
“You asked why I care…I care because I want you around.”
He leans into your head making sure to avoid the bruise on your forehead. Your hair tickles his face and the faint scent of your shampoo pleasantly occupies his senses. You’ve managed to fall asleep now from the low rumbling of his voice and the warmth his body radiates. A quiet chuckle leaves his lips as he realises this and the unyielding grip he has on you doubles.
“If you were to get hurt again…”
He murmurs inaudibly as he gazes in the distance. No, he would never allow you to be hurt again. He wouldn’t let such an opportunity arise in the first place. And if some lowly fool even dared to lay their hands on you…they would be a dead man walking. Once you got better and your wounds healed completely, he would make sure to protect you from any harm to the best of his abilities. But for now…
He looks at you again, his eyes burning with concern and a tinge of malevolence. No one could take you away from him. When the time was right and he was certain, he would make you his. For now, you resting contently in his arms, breathing softly in the safety of his protection should suffice. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.
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Imagine Neuvillette having a cheeky lover, who just enjoys his reactions and lives for making him loose his cool.
He was just so damn cool and powerful, a power to beckon with. Neuvillette was a strong pillar of Fontaine, a protector many looked up to. Even with his stone cold face that didn't give anything away at first glance and caused many men and women's heart to throb, you knew for the better.
Neuvillette was indeed a cutie whenever he got embrassed from your ministrations and hid his red face from all world, mainly you, whenever he had a chance.
This time wasn't any exception as Neuvillette was huddled inside his office, doing paperwork. One might think that this was what he liked doing most of the times by how almost a pleasant face he wore and frequent it was becoming.
But he couldn't have been more bored than he was right at this moment.
As he wrote down his notes and signed the documents, he couldn't help but think back to how lovely and absolutely breathtaking you looked at the morning.
As the true being he was, The Hydro Dragon... who opened up his heart and soul for you to embrace, who was accepted as who he is without a question.
The sunlight was slowly hitting your body and face just in the right way while you laid on his bed peacefully, chest rising up and down with one arm tucked under the soft pillow and the other curled next to your chest. A soft and small smile was on your lips, lightening up his dimmed soul as you laid facing him, making him be able to trace the soft contours of your face with his clawed hand, hair blanketing his scaled torso and your arms...
And how easy it was for you to accept him, as if it was second nature.
Thanks to how he and his kind was perceived, cold and harsh with no care for humans, he had deprieved of himself the beauty of touch. He refused to have that when he didn't deserve love, in his opinion.
How could someone even love a creature like him? Powerless, thought to be dead and even weak but still a danger nonetheless... Who could stay for him in his toughest times when even he didn't understand what he was feeling or thinking?
Therefore, he devoted himself to a long and eternal life of solidarity. He was fully convinced that this was all he could get, and even he was shocked at how the human mind can easily overpower their own self.
Another magnificient mystery of the universe, he would often say and think to himself at the dead of the night while staring into his own reflection and long tail.
Well, these were all before you came and broke everything he thought was right.
Quite literally actually.
"Monsieur Neuvillette, I'm so sorry! I wasn't actually looking where I was going-" you hurriedly tried to gather all the paper that fell on the marble floor from the hands of none other than Neuvillette, the Chief Justice. You absolutely hated, even loathed being in a hurry. It always made you loose track of what you did or said, which resulted in chaos and a life time of embarrassment.
Such as right now.
"It's quite alright, dear Y/N... Are you okay?'" As the gentleman he is, Neuvillette only gave you a worried look, also bending down to help you and prevent you from piercing your knees from the glass shards on the ground as a result of you two's collision. You didn't even realise the glasses you were holding was indeed broken, too occupied with making sure he was okay and not to loose your mind by how much more handsome he looked up close-
"Am-Am I okay? Monsieur, I dropped almost all the cups on you- Oh my! Are you hurt anywhere? Are you bleeding? Come, we need to immediately look for any injury, one of the shards could have pierced you!"
Just as he was about to tell you that it was fine, you didn't have to worry so much, enough to come close to crying and he wasn't hurt at all, a shard pierced his finger through his gloves, making him hiss and almost jump away from you...
Whiiich resulted in a horrified reaction from you.
"Oh the Archons... I'm gonna die. Please hurry, let me treat them!" You mumbled in a daze, quickly pulling yourself together as you took a hold of his hand and made him sit down on one of the chairs outside his office, as if he would faint from a simple scratch. All the while, Neuvillette was in a deep shock at how things turned out as he sat there with his palm facing up, staring at you as only a wisp of your form was visible to eye by how fast you were moving.
He didn't understand why you, even if he had a "crush" on you for the longest time as Furina and Navia often told him, would dote on him and openly show worry. He was a strong individual, apart from being the literal Hydro Sovereign who had all of his powers back, and he definetly didn't need to be coddled like a little kid even if you two were getting closer and closer each day-
"This might sting a bit, but I'll try to be gentle..." You frowned sadly as if the thought alone was enough to make you cry, already feeling bad enough for possibly ruining his busy day with your clumsiness.
And his expressionless face as he stared up at you did nothing to help your nerves.
Neuvillette could feel his gaze on you had become softer, much more gentle as he gazed at your careful hands more. The feeling was foreign to him but not unwelcomed, the pleasant and soft warmth in his heart pulled a small smile out of him which was a rarity by itself. Many would argue that he never smiled or showed any emotions, a man unmoveable and cold as the highest peak of Liyue itself...
Well, you begged to differ right at this moment.
"Why do you care about me so much?" He didn't really mean to sound so rude and harsh with his question, but it was the affect of being by himself all these time, with having only himself to care and patch his wounds.
Even as small as a scratch like the one on his finger.
But it seemed his tone didn't really scare you, as a confused look settled upon your face, brows scrunched together and head tilted to the left.
A frequent thing you did which he finds to be very adorable.
"Why wouldn't I? You deserve to be cared for..." You knew there was a deeper meaning behind his question, his eyes filling with silent tears as a confused gaze settled. Hands fiddling together as he lowered his eyes and gnawed on his soft but slightly chapped lips, probably as a result of his habit of biting on it. He was being slightly vulnerable more than usual, something he had just started to do with you after months of pestering him and convincing him that you meant no threat.
But still, it was cute.... He was cute.
And it brought a different kind of bravery to you, a power that pulled you towards him by his hands, shocking both him and yourself as you rubbed his knuckles softly. Neuvillette's eyes widened noticably, shaking in your hold as the warmth you had slowly got absorbed by his greedy heart and soul that had been all alone by itselves.
Perhaps everyone was right about his feelings of you that he tried to hide, that you were such a sweet and kind person that suited him the best and obviously loved him back.
"Life might not have been kind to you before, Mr.Neuvillette... However, I hope that we were all able to change it even a little bit and that you feel loved and happy." You softly say with a closed-eye smile, head tilted to the side and he knew... He knew you said them whole-heartedly, without any hint of malice or I'll will.
Ba-dump...
All his life, Neuvillette only knew harshness and loneliness. Never once was he ever cared for, coddled up or worried over. He had never seen someone as selfless as you are, as kind as you are and also as persistent as you with a soft and pure heart, and even more pure soul.
Often times, people avoided him at all costs and he too avoided them as long as he didn't have a job to get done with them.
But not you.
You were stubborn to see past that cold mask he had put over his face, the stoic and uncaring mask he had on so that he didn't get attached to anyone deeply and got hurt in the end. You always stuck with him throughout the day, asking him questions or just simply sitting there as he tried to noncholantly answer them with a thundering heart.
You knew the sweets he loved, how he liked his tea and even readied the water he loved before he started working and made sure the container was full.
But none of the sweet gestures would be as meaningful as the one you just did: Openly tell him that you love him and care for him.
Maybe he was being delusional, blinded by his growing feelings for you and having to keep them locked inside himself, but there was one certain thing he knew as he looked up to your precious jewels...
He wasn't. You trully loved him for him, wished to make him happy and wipe that frown away and just make him see the happiness this world could offer... And maybe, you might have muttered your confession under your breath but he couldn't have heard it... Right?
But now, as the cloudy feeling of the questions that was caused by his own insecurities were washed away, there was a much more important question as you waited anxiously in front of him for his reaction and he sweated awkwardly...
What kind of date was the best one to confess to you?
He sighed out tiredly, already planning if anyone would notice him sneaking out of his office, even with his tall posture, at how appealing the thought of being with you, even with how often you teased him with your silly comments and reactions, sounded so nice.
Oh how he wished you were here, he already felt guilty leaving the warm bed you shared because of these papers that absoultely meant nothing and all the stupid people he would have to-
"My love, are you busy? Shall I come in?"
You were trully an angel sent to just him and only him.
Neuvilette's face noticeably softened at the timid voice he heard behind his office door, following soon after a soft knock as his feet already took him to the source. He quickly gave you a kiss on your forehead as soon as he opened the door, his rich perfume filling your nose as a dopey smile stretched your face and you reciproceted with a fond kiss on his lips.
Just being two sickly in love people.
After some time with basking in each other's presence, he sighed out with a half relief and half tiredness as he nuzzled his nose deeper into your neck, his arms thightening around your smaller frame.
"You need not ask, never, love... You are always welcomed, my dear."
You let him lead you to the sofa in his office with a wide smile, where you usually laid after picking up a book and read it while Neuvillette did his job- though you often got distracted by how handsome and absolutely ethereal he looked, how peaceful he seemed after years of stress.
But today, he was different.
His back was more rigid and tense than normal, his eyes were scrunched up more frequently and he sighed almost angrily at any given time so much so that you were worried his dragonic features would come out.
And even his precious water cup alongside its container, one which would always be full to the top, was empty and he never for once tried to grab it.
Yep, it seems he is very irritated and on a knife's edge today...
So, as the amazing significant other you are, you saw the troubled and disheveled state he was in and couldn't help but want to fix it as soon as possible.
And what better way is there than being the cheerful and teasing one you were? That side pulled many reactions out of him after all, and would surely cheer hım up as well!
"Neuvi~"
He immediately lifted his head to look at you with a dumbfounded yet curious look, a smile so bright on his face at just hearing his nickname out of your lips, with the voice he adored the most. He could already feel a little bit of the exhaustion slipping out of his body, his quil on his hand was slowly put aside as his whole attention was turned to you and you only.
"Yes, my dear? What is it-" he said with a soft smile, voice barely covering his happiness but soon trailed off when you got up from your position on the couch, shutting the book you definetly didn't even read a word from and stood in front of his desk with a playful smile.
Oh... Oh! Not this time, he was exhausted and he definetly wouldn't be able to uphold his serious face-
But oh boy, he didn't expect to hear what came out next as his whole face reddened in embarrasment.
"According to the judgement of Oratrice Mecanique D'analyse Cardinale, you have been found guilty..."
You leant over the table teasingly without a care, arching your back more and tilting your head to look down at his piercing yet soft amethyst eyes that widened upon hearing your imitation of his usual commanding voice when he declared the decision of that machine, already anticipating what else you planned with this-this... This flustering and heart picking, breathtaking act of absolute love and playfulness.
"...of being cute~"
Oh how nice it was seeing that redness coating his cheeks...
Neuvillette, to be quite honest, was left slacked jawed, shocked to his core and absoultely flabbergasted with his jaw on the floor. Never in his long and eternal life, did he ever think that his line and the Oratrice itself would be used... To flirt with him.
But he loved it. He loved it so much, his heart beated hard and the air in his lungs were knocked out because it was you.
You, who had stolen his soul and heart all for yourself to never give up on it. You, who had a heart of golden and soul as soft as the Silk Flowers of Liyue.
You, who he called his partner and would continue calling that forever.
You, whom he was ready to sacrifice the world for.
But he didn't realize he had been too silent, enough to make you worry and drop the facade sooner than you anticipated as you looked at him from each side.
"Neuvi? Are you okay? I didn't say something out of li-" you worriedly asked with a hand over his arm, the shocked and frozen expression of his face making you take action, ready to cool him down because the redness that was steadily going towards a purple face couldn't just be normal.
But your lover only smiled like a fool and shook his head, taking a hold of your hand that was smoothing down his hair and rubbing his nape for comfort and laid a kiss on it, before bringing it close to his face.
"Sorry, my love... Your loving eyes had just taken all my words away."
Damn him and his charming words...
You giggled shyly, desperately trying to hide your cheeks from him to save yourself from the embarrasment. Your eyes landed on his inviting lap, all cozy and soft embrace as you slowly pushed him back to straddle him easily, loving and wanting to feel his arms around your frame as your heart was filled with unconditional love that often poured down from the confines of your heart.
All the while, his eyes never left yours as he watched you with dilated pupils, mouth open in awe as you moved around to find a much more comfortable position.
He promised to lay the universe before your feet if you wanted so, after all.
"So, my words didn't even affect you?"
You asked cutely, a hint of disappointment behind your voice as your hand played with the hair he often pushed aside and not clipped back as per your request. Even though he got flustered each time you stroked his hair and he remembered the reasoning you gave him why you wished him to do so, he wasn't going to deny you of anything.
On the other hand, your excuse of "It just gives you another kind of vibe... which makes me want to make out with you." did certain things to him... Which could be often seen on his pants-
"No..?" He hesitantly asked with a raised brow, earning a giggle from you as you pointed to his chest with equally flushed cheeks.
"Then why is your heart beating so hard?"
"It has been that way ever since I met you, my lovely spouse. It's so full of you that I can hardly call it my own."
He flushed suddenly, burying his face to your neck with a groan as he laid open mouthed kisses to divert your attention from the sudden surge of love and shyness he felt from what you said. Nuzzling his face closer to yours, he couldn't help but agree that this cheekiness you only had with him was the best part of his day and life.
Only he got to receive this, it was something only he had and no one else did.
Well, damn the smooth talker...
You could only shake your head in fake disappointment with a loving smile, bonking his head softly with yours in an affectionate move as you tutted at him and kissed the corner of his mouth with a burning face, giving all your love and energy to the tired man and showing how much you liked his words.
"You are such a silly dragon... And as much as I love you, it doesn't mean I won't tease you about this later. For now though? Let's cuddle, you can read those damn papers later."
He trully was a silly dragon deeply in love.
He chuckled under his breath at how much closer you nuzzled to him while pushing the papers away, as if you wanted to become one with his body. Nodding his head as he laid back with you on his lap, a hand rubbing up and down your back, he sighed out in bliss and left his work unfinished for the day, yet another new thing he did after he had gotten together with you.
Just as always, you were right.
And he could live with that, forever, if he had the chance.
609 notes · View notes
causenessus · 2 months
Text
how they comfort you. | haikyuu
inc. iwaizumi, bokuto, sakusa
written in second pov (female reader implied)
"love, keep your eyes on the road, 'cause when I stare, all I see is two foggy windows to a lost soul. and maybe, maybe it's all my fault. that it's so quiet on the drive home" from on the drive home by niki
word count: 2.2k words
notes: mainly written for @froyaoya because she's my literal soulmate and i love her so much she deserves the world <3 also, implied established relationship for all scenarios. not proofread!!!
content warnings: angst/comfort, crying, hyperventilating, all that jazz
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hajime.
"like any unloved thing, i do not know if i'm real when i'm not being touched."
he can tell something is wrong immediately. 
you think you’re hiding it so well, but he can see it the moment you walk into class.
and in all honesty, seeing him and your friends helped you feel a little better, but the moment the lecture starts, you’re left to your own thoughts again. and he sees the way your face drops when you think no one’s looking.
he sees the way you start to stare at your notebook absentmindedly, picking at the clip of your pencil, and then your skirt, and then you're bouncing your knee erratically.
he sees the way your shoulders rise with every breath, and the way you bite your lip, blink rapidly, close your eyes, do anything to try to ignore the feeling in your chest. it feels like something desperately trying to claw out of your chest, threatening to explode at any moment.
and when the class is dismissed to sit silently and work individually, you stand up, trying your best to keep your composure until you make it out of the class. you slide the door shut behind you and haven’t even made it down the hallway before you stop, one hand on the wall to steady yourself as a sob escapes your mouth. even hearing the sound reach your ears is painful, and it’s the crack in the wall that breaks into rapid breathing and hot tears running down your face. your breaths are shallow and inhales so sharp and loud you don’t hear the classroom door close again. 
you barely even feel the hands on your shoulders, and you’re not quite sure when exactly you fell to the ground. “y/n, y/n. breathe. look at me. breathe with me,” he’s in front of you, and you hear his own inhale, deep and steady in contrast to your hiccups. “breathe. just take a breath,” he repeats, and you try your best to follow his instructions. you can barely see, tears blurring your vision, but he’s in front of you, kneeling and rubbing the sides of your arms comfortingly.
eventually, your breaths steady. they’re still shaky with every breath in, but your able to think again, and you try to wipe the tears from your eyes. they keep coming, but not nearly as frequently as before.
“that’s it, there you go. you’re safe, you’re okay,” he keeps reassuring you, voice soft as he wipes away a stray tear rolling down your cheek with his thumb. “can i hug you?”
you can’t even keep in your sobs when you nod, your eyesight blurring again as a new wave of tears overwhelms you at the question and the strong arms that engulf you. you wrap your arms around his upper back and he has an arm hugging you over your shoulder while the other is on the back of your head, rubbing it gently and holding it close to his shoulder.
“hajime,” you whisper, voice broken. you barely make out the syllables before you sob again, clutching at his shirt.
“i’m right here,” he responds, “i’m right here and i’m not going anywhere. what happened, love?”
his words only make you hold him closer and tighter. at this point, your throat is sore and your cries are barely audible, only coming out as heaves and sighs.
“i don’t know,” you confess, eyes squeezing tightly shut. “i just got overwhelmed with everything. yesterday was bad, and i was alone all night– i thought it’d be okay today, but it just hurts. so bad.”
he takes in a deep breath, exhaling before he speaks, “i know. i know it hurts, baby. call me next time, would you? you’re not a bother. ask me to come over anytime, i will.”
you let out a shaky breath, finally opening your eyes and he pulls back so he can look at you, giving you a small smile before pressing a kiss to your lips. “okay,” you breathe. “you promise? that i’m not bothering you? i’m not holding you back or anything?”
“never,” he promises. “you’ve never and you won’t ever bother me. if anything, you’re helping me get through this all.”
“even right now?” you ask, trying to dry your face. “even though you had to leave class to come find me?”
“y/n, look at me,” he says gently, a hand on the side of your head to lightly guide it to face him. “i’d leave work for you. i’d run across campus for you. i’d come to your room in the dead of night if you asked me to. and of course, i’d skip class for you. you’re more important than anything else in my life. and what else is oikawa good for then making up lies? he’s covering for us right now and he’ll fill us back in on anything we’ve missed.”
a laugh escapes your mouth as you wipe away the last tear, “we’ll have to thank him when we get back. and thank you, hajime, for coming out here.”
“of course, love. i’m glad i did,” he presses another kiss to your forehead. “how’re you feeling? do you want to head back?”
although you’ve calmed down, and the weight in your chest isn’t as strong, your head still feels heavy, and you shake your head, trying not to feel guilty, “no, not yet.”
“that’s okay,” he says, coming to sit next to you on the floor, resting his back against the wall. “take as long as you need, i’ll stay with you.”
he holds one of your hands, running his thumb across your knuckles gently as you take in another breath. “hajime,” you say, and he looks up at you. although his eyes are usually sharp and pointed with determination, in the moment, they are soft and filled with love. “will you hold me again? just for a second, please.”
his arms are immediately around you.
“of course, love.”
koutarou.
"you realize, at last, that you can change without disappearing. that all you had to do was wait until the storm passes over and you find that—yes—your name is still attached to a living thing."
the water is hot when it hits your back. scalding, even, and it seeps into your clothes. you haven’t taken them off, and they stick to your body as you pull your knees to your chest on the floor of your shower. but it feels nice. the water is hot, the sting of the temperature and the noise of the water buzzing out your own thoughts, and eventually you feel numb to the heat.
your tears are mixing with the water dripping down your face, and you can barely hear your cries over the sound of it hitting the floor. 
but you don’t hear him come home, either. and you don’t hear him when he knocks on the door, trying to check on you before he opens the door. you’ve been in there for longer than normal, and he's started to get worried.
“y/n?” he whispers and you look up at him, looking horrified as if you’ve been caught in the act. “what are you doing?” he’s kneeling at the side of the bathtub, hands resting on the edge like he wants to reach out, put his hands above your head and stop the water from falling on you. his tone isn’t accusatory at all, he’s looking at you, face tense with worry and love, and his lip is trembling like he wants to cry with you.
“i’m–” you’re broken off by your own sob as you press your palms into your eyes, trying to stop your tears.
you feel his hand gently wrap around your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face and he’s looking at you with all the care in the world, but that only makes you tear up more. “i’m sorry, kou.”
“for what?” his own voice cracks with how low he’s talking, as if the air between them is fragile.
another cry escapes your chest and that seems to be his breaking point as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest. you try to push back, “kou, you’ll get wet–”
“that doesn’t matter, y/n. you’re the only thing that matters right now,” he whispers, and you can hear how fast his heart is beating. and his grip doesn’t let up, so you let him hold you, taking in deep breaths as you both sit there until you calm down and he lets you pull away.
“i didn’t mean to worry you, kou. i’m sorry you walked in on me like this,” you apologize quietly, looking down at your own clothes, dark and completely soaked. “i was just– feeling overwhelmed, i don’t know. and i came in here so i couldn’t hear anything else.”
“that’s okay,” he reassures, making you look back at him. “that’s always okay. would it be alright for me if i made you tea? do you want to try and take a shower? or maybe just a bath? i can help you start one, and i’ll come back so you’re not alone.”
his words make your bottom lip quiver again, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “that would be nice, kou. thank you so much.”
he helps you out of the bathtub, letting you sit on the counter in a towel while he runs a bath, and after you promise him it’ll be okay, he leaves you to make you a mug of tea. he’s been attentive to you since the day you met him, when he started his list of things that make you happy to look back to when he needed it. by this point, he never looks at the list anymore. he can recite it from memory, and he knows just what to do whenever you’re hurting.
he will be at your side for whatever you need, he will sit on the floor next to you while you take your bath, holding your hand and letting you know you’re there. when you’re ready to get up, he will help you get out. if you’re feeling too weak to stand up yourself, he will be there to catch you and help you stand up. he will grab you a clean change of clothes and wait patiently for you to dress before he holds your hand, grabbing your mug with the other one and leading you to the couch. he will let you lay on him, he’ll place his arms around you, and kiss your head as you pick something to watch. he will be there to distract you from your thoughts, and he will always be there to love you even when you don’t feel deserving of it.
kiyoomi.
"wasn't that the definition of home? not where you are from, but where you are wanted."
this place was becoming too much.
too much.
too much.
this was not a home. and you ran from it. you’d thrown on the first pair of shoes you saw and ran out with tears in your eyes. no keys, no food, nothing but your phone. it’s cold outside, and the frost makes you aware of hot your entire body is, and you think of sitting down, and lying on the cold sidewalk, maybe staying there, but you keep running. because you know where you're going.
when you show up at his door, breathing hard and tears rolling down your face, he pulls you inside immediately, closing the door behind you. he’s holding your face immediately, concern lacing his eyes as he wipes away the tears escaping your eyes, one after the other. “what happened? what’s wrong?” he asks immediately, leading you by the hand to his kitchen, pulling out a chair for you to sit at, finding a blanket to wrap around you before he stands next to you.
“what do you want? let me make you something. tea?” he suggests, and you nod, wiping away the tears falling off your face.
he places the steaming mug in front of you before sitting next to you, holding your hands between his, trying to warm them up. “what happened, love? talk to me,” he urges again, now that you’ve had time to calm down.
“it was–” you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to focus on your breathing, willing yourself to calm down, “it was just being there. at that house. it was too much. there was fighting and–” the rest of your words get lodged in your throat, but he doesn’t push you. he only hums in acknowledgment of your words, smoothing your hair down with his hand comfortingly. “it was going so well,” you whisper, ignoring the way your voice cracks. “today was nice. and then they ruined it,” you let out a shaky breath, blinking away the tears welling up in your eyes. “i’m sorry i showed up here without saying anything, i didn’t know where else to go. i–” you look up at him, a sob escaping you as you talk, “why do i feel like this? what did i do wrong?”
“you didn’t do anything, love,” he answers, holding your gaze. “you did nothing wrong. you came here because you feel safe, and i’m glad you came. you’ve been pushing this all down for so long it’s all coming out at once. and you’ll be okay. i’ll be right here with you until it's over. and even after that. i'll be here for you whenever you need it.”
he has an arm around you, pulling you close and you let your head rest on his shoulder. “is it okay if i stay here for a little bit?”
“of course, love. you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need.”
218 notes · View notes
mrsbarnesblog · 5 months
Note
the reader has been begging rafe to watch vampire diaries with her because its her favourite show but its always been a firm no. rafe did something ( it can be anything ) and it upset the reader a bit and rafe asks the reader how he can make it up to her and she asks for girl night with rafe. face masks , making tiktoks , listening to music and of course watching vampire diaries
Vampire Diaries
Word count: 0.8k
Warnings: none
A/N: thank you for the request <3 Rafe would've definitely pretended to be annoyed but secretly enjoyed it lol
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“I'm sorry, baby, okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.” Rafe kneeled in front of you, as you were currently sitting on the couch, endlessly scrolling tiktok and paying literally no attention to your boyfriend. 
You two just had a small argument, and with Rafe’s short temper, it quickly went downhill. Even though there was nothing too serious and you knew that Rafe didn’t want to upset you, it still hurt you a little bit, so you wanted to teach him a lesson. 
“Please? Look at me, pretty girl. I’m really sorry.” He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs, leaving a few soft kisses. “How can I make it up to you, huh? Do you want to go shopping? Spend all of my money? Go on a date to your favorite place? Kick me? Just tell me and I’ll give it to you.” 
You were trying so hard to keep back a smile forming on your lips. Because who would’ve thought that Rafe, the big, scary and moody guy, would beg for your forgiveness, literally standing on his knees? You finally put your phone down, looking at your boyfriend and studying him for a few seconds. 
“Have a girls night with me.” You smirked, seeing how his brows slowly furrowed. 
“Excuse me?” 
“Girls night. Masks, snacks, music and vampire diaries are included.” His eyelids lowered, looking at you suspiciously. 
“Were you planning on pulling me into that shit? ‘Cuz I ain’t doin’ that. Told that a million times already, babe.” 
You just rolled your eyes, going back to your phone and acting like you didn't notice the way Rafe was burning holes into you with his stare.
“Are you really gonna ignore me again? I said, I’m sorry.” 
“And you also said that you'd do anything that I asked for. That’s what I’m asking for. Just one night, Rafe. No one’s going to see you being soft and cute except for me, you grumpy ass.” You held eye contact for a few seconds, already seeing how Rafe was hesitating between giving in and continuing to act like a child.
“Fine. But only one time, got it? And you can’t tell anyone about it.”
***
“Did you just take a photo?” Rafe’s head snapped towards you and you innocently bit your lip, locking your phone and putting it away. 
“Maybe… But you look really cute, just wanted to have it for myself.” You smiled at him, moving closer on your bed and fixing a few strands of hair that fell out of Rafe’s white bunny headband. He did look cute, laying and watching your favorite series only in his gray sweats, with no shirt, and most importantly, with a Hello Kitty sheet mask on his face. 
Before that, you had already cleaned and exfoliated Rafe’s face while sitting on top of him, which was the only reason why he didn’t complain every second, and then you brought all the possible snacks from the kitchen and took your favorite masks with you. It took quite some time to convince him to put it on, but a few kisses worked just perfectly. 
As the twenty minutes on your timer went off, you took both of your masks off with Rafe mumbling “finally” under his breath, and with another bag of chips, you snuggled into your boyfriend’s side. “Vampire Diaries” that you convinced him to turn on were currently only on the third episode, and you looked up from Rafe’s shoulder, noticing that he was actually looking at the screen. 
“I told you that it’s good.” You giggled, shoving chips into your mouth and then giving a few to Rafe. His hand wrapped tighter around your body, bringing you even closer. 
“It’s not.” 
“Then why are you watching it?” You arched your brow when he looked down at you.
“Because you told me too. You know that I hate this type of stuff, right, babe? This girl shit is not for me.” 
“Whatever you say, Rafey.” Your hand stroked his bunny ears, which were still holding his hair, then cupped his face to place a kiss on the lips. You knew that Rafe was just being stubborn and that he actually was enjoying your evening together; it was obvious by the way his body was in the most relaxed state possible, there was no usual annoyance, and he had that look in his eyes. The one that you always saw whenever you two were alone, when you were wrapped up in each other’s arms, when you made him happy and safe. “Thank you for this. It means a lot to me.” 
“ Anything for you, baby.” Rafe softened, lips curling in a lazy smile, as he caught your lips in another kiss. “Now watch your goddamn show, or I’m gona turn it off.” Rafe pulled away, playfully rolling his eyes at you, yet still looking back at the screen, now also too hooked on to miss any second. 
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kissesforsatoru · 1 year
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Good morning/afternoon/evening :)
I'd like to request some headcanons for Mikey and Izana where the darling had a one night stand with them as a revenge on their cheating boyfriend. The darling planned for it to be a one time thing and never see the boys again but unfortunately they get attached.
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MIKEY AND IZANA x READER (separate)
₊˚⌗ darling thinking they're having a one-night stand, but unfortunately, izana and mikey get attached.
⤷ cw : NSFW 18+, general yandere themes, possessive behavior, drugging (mikey; only sleeping pills), kidnapping (mikey), use of pet names (baby, pretty baby), coercion, reader is implied to be weaker than izana, gn!reader for mikey and implied fem!reader for izana (no pronouns though, reader just has a pussy).
note : i have a candle that smells like whiskey and coffee and i honestly think that the scent fits mikey a lot; if you don't think so i don't care >:( it smells good
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mikey doesn’t take it well when he realized you actually planned to never see him again. he thought maybe his dick would be enough to make you wanna stay, if not his sweetly strung words and the way he cared for you as he fucked you. he’d just gotten done cumming on your stomach when you sighed, utterly spent, and told him that you would be gone by morning, and thanks for the help. what a joke. too bad for you, mikey slipped a drug in your mouth while you were asleep so you wouldn’t wake up when he took you.
you wake up groggier than you thought you would have, your head clouded and your eyes feeling heavy with tiredness. you groan and roll over in the bed onto your back, pulling the covers down from your body when you realize how hot it is. the cool air feels nice, and finally after being a wake for a few seconds you will your eyes open. you're so out of it though that you don't even notice you weren't in the room you fell asleep in until a door clicks open, sobering your hazed thoughts.
you jolt up in bed and look around the room, which is not a hotel room. the scent in the air is of coffee and whiskey rather than the refreshing, clean smell of the hotel room you were in. smells like mikey, you realize when the memory of you clinging onto the man from last night because of how delicious he smelt floods your thoughts.
speaking of, the very man you'd spent hours with last night steps into the room, closing the door behind him when he does.
"mikey...?" you call meekly, and he snaps his head up to look at you.
"oh, hey baby. didn't think you'd be up for a few more hours," he says casually as he walks towards your disheveled form on the bed. you look at him with a blank expression because you're not quite sure what to say, or think for that matter, but you know that this should not be happening—something isn't right.
"uh, where... where am i?" you ask hesitantly. is that something you should ask someone who potentially kidnapped you? maybe not, but your head still feels all fogged up which makes your coherency and rationality not all here at the moment.
"my house," he says simply, and your only rection to the confirmation that you were literally kidnapped, is a small pout and slump of your body. maybe it's how casual mikey is about the whole thing that keeps you at ease, or maybe it's the fact that he fucked you so well that you can't possibly think he would kill you; either way you aren't entirely scared, just... confused, and maybe a little bit concerned.
"okay... well, why am i here?" you ask him, pushing yourself up to sit against the headboard of the bed you're laying in. you pull your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around them for a little bit of security when mikey sighs frustratedly and crawls onto the bed towards you. maybe you were wrong and he actually will kill you??
"listen, pretty baby," he tells you lowly, pulling gently on your ankle to make you fall back into the bed. he crawls over you and presses himself between your legs while pinning your wrists above you with one of his hands. "i don't know where you get off trying to leave me, but you need to get one thing straight in that pretty little head of yours: you belong to me now and i'm not fuckin' letting you go."
izana knew you were being serious when you told him. you had asked him many times if he was sure he didn’t mind being used for revenge after all. he said sure, but he didn’t really mean that it was okay. you can try to leave him, but what does poor, little you think you could really do against him? he can easily overpower you. if you want to leave, good luck trying.
"mmh– izana?" you call for him when he continues thrusting inside of you after both of you have already climaxed. you agreed on one round, and then he would take a video of you as he came for your boyfriend to find later, but nothing else after that.
a low grunt reverberates against your neck where his head is nuzzled tightly into, his tongue lapping where he'd been nibbling and kissing for the past few minutes. he pulls out of your neck and runs his hand through his tousled hair as he looked down at you, and upon seeing your confused expression, he smirks.
"awe, look at you. shit, you're so cute like this," he huffs out hotly, tilting his head down at you as he leans back over you, caging you under him once again. his hands are digging into your thighs as he holds you against his hips that are lazily humping into your sensitive, sopping cunt. you whine weakly, your eyes watering from all of the confusion and stimulation.
"what're you doing? we agreed–hngg–" you're cut off when a particularly rough thrust makes you choke and gasp for air, your eyes rolling back and your hands coming to hold onto his shoulders.
"i didn't agree to anything, baby, you just assumed i did. y' really thought i was just gonna let'ya go?" he asks you, a raspy laugh falling from between his lips when you whine and look away from him. he grabs your chin and gently drags you to look back at him, and then his lips press to yours, and he groans into your mouth as you hesitantly kiss him back and pull at his shoulders to bring him closer to you.
"nah, i would never. you're too fuckin–shit, hah–too fuckin' good to give up just like that," he drawls after pulling away from the kiss, "could treat y' better than your man does anyway. i know he doesn't fuck this pretty little pussy as good as i do, so just stay with me, yeah?"
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faetima · 5 months
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𝐝𝐥𝐦𝐥𝐮 (𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝) . .
. . you have hanahaki, a severe case of shyness, and a crush on scaramouche, and scaramouche is an absolute jerk.
// tws ; blood ; gn reader ; hanahaki & modern au ; slight cursing 
a/n: first time posting here yippee (pls be nice)
you sobbed, heaving up stupid yellow carnations while sitting on the cold, hard floor of the school bathroom.
you wretched up the damned flowers. they fell ungracefully into the toilet which sat in front of you.
your knees hurt from sitting on them for so long.
if only you could tell him how you felt. it would finally all be over, one way or another. maybe with your feelings being requited.
or maybe with you choking to death, the only thing with you while you die being the stupid fucking flowers.
you coughed again, pale yellow petals fluttering to the ground elegantly.
it was a stark contrast to how, just moments after that, you were coughing your lungs out, flowers flopping down into the toilet in large clumps; stuck together by mucus and blood.
you wheezed and wheezed and wheezed until it felt like there was nothing left in your lungs and your throat was burning and your knees were bruised.
you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until there were no more tears left.
you coughed and coughed and coughed to the point you thought maybe just dying would be better than this fucking hell.
you curled into a ball, crying. crystalline tears ran down your cheeks, falling onto your clothes, the ground, anything.
if only you could fucking talk. why were you like this? why were you fine with your friends, but so terrified to talk to anyone? to everyone?
to him?
maybe, just maybe, if you were different you wouldn’t be in this situation.
if only you weren’t so pathetic, so stupid, so scared.
you hated yourself. you hated yourself so, so much. who the fuck was this terrified to talk to people, but opened up so easily once others talked to them?
maybe you should just confess and get it all over with.
you opted to just give him a letter anonymously. 
who knew if he would even read it? he received dozens of confessions everyday.
even if he did read it, it couldn’t be that bad, right?
if you could, you would eat up your words.
it was much, much worse than you thought.
he had ripped open the envelope, immediately reading the letter with a scowl.
he wasn’t even halfway through when he burst out laughing.
”what the fuck is this?” he snickered, holding onto his locker so he wouldn’t fall from how hard he was laughing.
”what pathetic fucking weirdo confesses from an anonymous letter? are they too terrified to say it to my fuckin’ face?”
he continued reading the letter.
when he was done, he crumpled it up and threw it away behind him, still laughing.
”that’s so goddamn stupid.”
unfortunately, the crumpled up letter hit you on your head.
not embarrassing, right?
well, it wasn’t until scaramouche saw it had hit you.
”oh, sorry,” he exclaimed in a voice dripping with mock sweetness.
”didn’t see you there.”
it would’ve been fine until his next comment, which you unfortunately overheard.
”these dumb fucking bitches. they’re so stupid, can’t even move out of the way. what are they, blind?” he muttered under his breath, tone condescending.
you burst into tears right then and there, unable to stop the overflow of emotions.
you walked away as quick as you could, wanting to kill yourself right there.
”so emotional, and over what?”
his laugh rang down the hallway, following and taunting you.
you don’t know what had come over you that day. before that you had always tried to keep your emotions in check, always tried to stop the tears from coming out in front of people you didn't know.
maybe hearing your crush degrade and insult you had just struck a chord or something.
weak coughs wracked your frail body, using up the little energy you had left.
you were on your death bed (quite literally! you were laying on your bed while dying).
honey yellow flowers surrounded you, their sickly sweet scent making you feel nauseous.
you choked up another batch of the flaxen flowers, watching them flop forward onto your bed sheets, staining them a dull crimson because of the blood on them.
with half lidded eyes, you stared at the carnations. your mind was hazy, and your vision blurred.
if you recalled correctly, they symbolized disdain and rejection.
how fitting.
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