#quit 2 yrs ago tho

[skunkes]

um spare any genevieve drawings pretty please? 🥺🤲

saved dis to try to make some new art of her but unfortunately i still dk what i want her to look like and i normally dont have the Develop New Oc drive....ill keep pointing u guys to the only existing image of her in the meantime

[genshins1mpact]

[jiyoos]

a lot of the time when 2 ppl are together for a super long time and break up it’s bc one wanted to get married or have kids and the other didn’t and the other didn’t want to wait forever or never have it happen

[xray-vex]

here are some of my really general a/i predictions, re: art --

techbro types who want to generate bullshit as a get rich quick scheme will saturate the market and nobody will want their worthless shit, they'll get bored and move onto the next get-rich-quick trend. remember nfts? lol

people who got into a/i because they thought it was a legit way to make art will get bored of it because it won't challenge them to do anything & it will not be gratifying in the long term - those types will either: 1.) quit or 2.) start making actual art

people who buy art will get sick of looking at a/i generated shit that essentially all looks the same. real artists making real art will get more interest again because it will seem new and exciting.

same thing with films & stuff too. i definitely think that various actors & creators guilds & other creative industry unions should do everything they can to protect their art & craft against being outsourced to a/i, but i do think that people who watch films will get sick of a/i in films the same way people got weary of CGI overuse in films. a/i in film might not go away completely, but audiences will absolutely be drawn to films that don't use a/i.

i think the basic gist of what i'm trying to say is that human beings need actual art, and the vast majority of people don't fully, actively realize how interwoven art is to literally everything in their lives. on some level they must know, because when it's missing, they miss it. they seek it out. art in general is important to the fabric of society: storytelling, entertainment, community, emotional fulfillment, etc. and people want something real, tangible. they want something created by humans.

****this is why, i'm guessing, that fan art & fan fiction are so popular. most people who create those sort of works are doing them for the actual love of what they're making. and then those works create community. humans have been sitting in groups to tell each other stories and to express themselves visually & dance together with music forever. for literally ever. all of human history. literally all. art is the fucking foundation of society, civilization, human evolution. to make art & to experience art, to some degree, on some level(s). non-negotiable. essential as food and water. i'm dead serious.

a couple of examples of similar times that tech threatened to make the "real thing" obsolete, but failed to do so:

e-readers were supposedly going to make print books obsolete -- they didn't.

streaming music services helped usher in a renewed desire for physical media again.

for awhile, both of those things did kill a lot of brick & mortar music/book stores, but there has been a bit of a resurgence and lots of small businesses.

and no, things will never go back to the way they were, but things would have changed regardless, capitalism being what it is.

it would be nice tho, wouldn't it, if digital tech presented augmentations to our need to have art in our lives constantly, instead of threatening to replace them completely?

i'm just going on pure vibes here & from what i know about art & being an artist for 35+ yrs, some tech & aesthetics philosophy, and from having worked in retail books & music/dvd sales many moons ago. so i could be completely full of shit here.

but i do have some hope that things re: a/i will get better for people -- for real, working artists & authors & musicians & performers & creators. humans need art the way they need food and water. this has always been true for the entirety of human existence.

i'm just sort of in my thoughts & feelings about art tonight and felt like rambling about it.

now i'm gonna make more tea.

[lamonnaie]

thanks for the tag @sollucets i loved reading ur answers !!! 🫶🫶 i've been a little ia lately + busy with irl things but i'm slowly trying to work through the backlog of tag games 😅

1. why did you choose your url?

it's from the french words "la monnaie," which basically means small change. i found the word amusing when i first learnt it a while ago and i've been using it as a username practically everywhere ever since :]

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them

technically no? i set up the ao3 feed for the dangerous romance tag on a sideblog pretty much just for my own convenience, but that doesn't rlly count lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i've been lurking on tumblr since ~2015, when you could actually use the website pretty functionally even without an account, but i only made this account in 2020.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i do! it's just "q" (although it's empty right now because i haven't been on much 😩😩)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i finally made a tumblr account after 5 yrs of lurking because of this one niche movie that had somewhat of a fandom on here and i wanted to interact lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

because fairy lights !! they're pretty :))

(i use this icon everywhere as well as my url, i think i've only ever changed it once on here)

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to go back and check my blog because i genuinely didn't remember what my header was 😭😭 but it's just a cute gif off of google that i picked coz i liked it :)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

apparently this post about akkayan and raysand??? guess that answers the shitposts question as well LMAO

9. how many mutuals do you have?

quite a few !! is there any way of actually finding out the number? i have no clue, but if someone follows me i tend to check out their blog and if we have similar interests i'll follow back :] that being said, probably around 30-ish who i've actually interacted with beyond mutual liking and rbing hehe

10. how many followers do you have?

382!

11. how many people do you follow?

486 - definitely need to do a clean out tho because i follow a lot of random blogs from interests long gone by

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yes lol

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it depends honestly, sometimes several times a day for several hours (😭), other times i'll go a day or two without opening it <//3

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog?

nah, if i don't agree with something i'll just unfollow and/or block

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

very unnecessary, i get that there's good intention behind it but it's honestly just annoying to see and will actively make me not reblog it 😭 (or at the very least i'll go back and rb a version without the addition)

16. do you like tag games?

HELL YEAH, i love yapping about things 🥰🥰

17. do you like ask games?

yesss they're so much fun !!!! (that being said, my askbox is so wonky that it never saves my posts as i'm writing and then it'll randomly crash and i just the ask altogether????)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hmm i have no concept of tumblr famousness but just looking through my moots there's quite a few who i feel are pretty well known???

that being said, gonna give a shoutout to dee @distant-screaming who is the most famous person ever to me because i love love love their fics so much 😭😭😭 like have i ever fully watched nlmg? nope. do i still constantly go back and read her palmnueng fics? absolutely.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no i wouldn't say so :) i admire a lot of people on here and i love all my mutuals <33 (but in a platonic way hehe)

20. tags?

i feel like people have done this already (so no pressure + pls tag me in ur post if u've already done it !!) but tagging @dramalets @distant-screaming @winnysatang @hellswolfie @blackstar-gazer <33

[tantai-jin]

fic writer meme!

thank u rachel @fruitdaze for the tag!!! <3333333

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

23 since 2016 lmao,, i don't remember exactly how many i posted on lj from 2012-2015 but it wasn't a ton, probably 10-15 that were like 50k altogether

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

124,765

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it's been all over the place since 2020 lol but p much only chinese media like danmei novels, movies, cdramas. used to write kpop rpf but prob won't return to that even tho i still like and follow many groups

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

给你给你 (yunfei)

换一世身份姓名; heaven to myself (canglan)

not-that-small talk (tell me honestly) (bts yoonkook LOL)

새벽 rush hour (yellow light, slow) (bts taegi LOL)

捡一个梦; reach for a dream (canglan)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i usually do, although i'm often quite late LOL i have a couple fics where i didn't reply to all the comments after a certain point and then i just stopped 😭 or if they are a guest user or only leave emojis as a comment then i don't reply? but ofc i see every comment

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhh i feel like the only thing i wrote that is complete and has an angsty ending is 捡一个梦; reach for a dream bc it was a missing scene from an angsty arc of the show. or lol jk same scenario applies to 余光 (remnants of light) bc it takes place before the end of yuwu and not in one of the happier moments

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

either 给你给你 or 换一世身份姓名; heaven to myself bc they're both disgustingly sweet and affectionate at the end

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! either i am writing for tiny ass fandoms or like, my fics don't get enough traction to attract haters LMAO

9. Do you write smut?

not a lot... the incomplete bingqiu au i posted has the most explicit scenes so far but i am still too shy writing it. i have to practice so that i can write more than 3 sentences of sex in a single day and actually finish the wips i started 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

i have before! nothing crazy tho bc it was just kpop rpf and it would be like, two idols from the same company that have interacted multiple times! lmao. sometimes i think abt crossovers for cdramas that are relatively tame such as: two actors that have been in the same drama multiple times are reincaranted and those 2+ dramas are their different lives... but it's so niche in eng speaking fandom and i haven't fully written one out yet. also does it count as a crossover if u put characters from story A into the setting/setup for story B bc i do that a lot but i think that is fairly common at least for ppl to imagine

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so... again, my fics do not get a lot of traction so i don't think it's likely lmaooo

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think there was an exo one translated into russian a long time ago but i don't even remember which one lolllll it might have been on my livejournal

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not a whole fic yet but ive brainrotted a plethora of aus with friends before such as but not limited to mingqian actors au with lianzi (very intricate with multiple variations) and a Bunch of cdrama and yuwu stuff with another friend :')

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

i cannotttttt pick only one but ummm in the last yr-ish it's been a rotation of tantai jin/li susu + mingye/sang jiu from cyjm, mingqian from liu yao, xilian from yuwu (🤪)..... bingqiu from sv (always).... i should stop for now that's Tew Many. but i think once i finish spl, changgu will also be up there

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i feel like i'm cursing myself by typing this out but perhaps the bingqiu i posted one chapter of..... even if i could write all the p With p parts that i wanted to include, i was also a little stuck on the ending and idk if i would be able to write it in a way that doesn't feel like a cop out or just weak in general 😢 but i do like that au and i think my writing for it so far was p decent... so who knows...!

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i am pretty good at dialogue that sounds 1. natural and 2. true to the characters! i try really hard to make imagery sound original(ish) and evocative, and to make a character's Yearning palpable

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

intricate plot, action, sex (takes me forever to write and haven't done it in as much detail as i would like to tbh)

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

i love it! i did it a little in my yunfei fic and instead of directly translating the line of chinese right there i just included the meaning in the next line of dialogue, like "what do you mean [thing they just said]" + i did it like that bc the tone of it just felt so much more natural to me in mandarin for that specific convo. not that it was something untranslatable (it wasn't) but it just felt comfier to me. i also like the thing ppl do where you can hover over the text and it will show the translation but idk how that html works HAHA someday i would like to give it a go

19. First fandom you wrote for?

exo.......... lmao

20. Favorite fic you have written?

overall i think it would be typhoon season (my incomplete but not abandoned cisswap girls ximang in hk) ! i had it fermenting in my brain for like 8 months before i wrote it, which meant i had figured a lot of the stuff for the beginning out and it was much easier to write than normal since i was not deliberating so much in the moment. i think the pacing for it was good and the reveals of backstory were placed well, and i think i adapted the characters well too even if it's only a first chapter and they haven't done a lot yet. i wanna write them again but it's been rly hard for me to think abt that specific au for many months lol. i also think my recent yzy gegedidi fic had a lot of yummy scenes even if i see some flaws in some parts of the fic's progression... but i spent enough time on it already so i will not go and fix it anymore 😌 peace

i think all my writer friends were tagged already...... this tagline (like a bloodline) will end with me

[shrimpathizer]

whats a hobby or skill YOU have that people don’t really know or expect?

umm. theres the two that most people who don’t know me don’t expect (circus (aerial mostly) and writing). i guess otherwise…piano maybe? i played for almost 9 years (i quit 2 yrs ago because it was not working to remember to practice everyday). i still play sometimes tho. and have composed little things.

[oncominggstorm]

Im autistic & adhd. Also have undiagnosed physical health issues which been acting up lately. Really not doing well, need help. Currently in shutdown, include verbal shutdown. And struggling type, forgive grammar plz. Need help & support, but is none. Don’t know what do. Everything feel impossible. Long vent under cut.

Want run away, somewhere no one can find. Somewhere quiet & alone, with internet & tv so can watch comfort shows, play comfort games, etc. But will turn off phone, or get new number, or just block all family except younger sister on everything, or something, idk. Want comfy bed & comfy chairs & good temperature control & good food, and just quiet & solitude. Preferably somewhere out in nature. Let everyone figure out their own shit without me. Can’t do this anymore. ONLY things keeping me from doing are younger sister & lack of money. Mom & twin sister need figure shit out on own, can’t handle anymore. Can’t do.

Dont have a job or any money at all, literally only have $5 (and well over $20k in credit card debt, in collections). Am in autistic burnout & have been for nearly 3 years now. Had quit job in May cuz burnout so bad. But still expected take care of entire family.

Live with dad & twin sister (will call twin). Dad extremely NT & able bodied, dont understand me/twin at all. Knows nothing about autism/adhd & unwilling to learn. Pays bills & does chores so that is helpful, but not willing do any other support. Doesn’t believe in mental health.

Mom & younger sister (will call younger) live with grandma. Younger is 12 yrs younger, i basically raised. Feel almost more like parent than sister. Also is best friend & person i care most about in world, would die for her. Hate seeing her suffer. Twin & younger both also autistic & adhd, and neither have job. Grandma has moderate (bordering on advanced) dementia & need 24/7 supervision & support. Younger currently has busted knee, on crutches & really struggling & lot of pain. Mom refusing to believe is as bad as is, thinks younger is exaggerating, barely helping her. Ive been having drive over nearly daily to help. Mom had multiple strokes 2 years ago, still has both cognitive & physical challenges as result, & just lost job. Mom almost deffo undiagnosed autistic/adhd but refuses to believe. Doesnt believe younger is either (she still undiagnosed, me & twin formal diagnosed recently). Mom never great person, but got much worse after strokes, is mean & bordering on verbally abusive to us (and is DEFFO verbal abusive to grandma). Also has horrible memory & cognitive issues, doesnt understand things correctly, half of what she says doesn’t make sense, makes helping her hard.

Twin sick rn, lots of stomach issue & pain. Found out few months ago has enlarged spleen, but no answer yet, cant see specialist til Dec. Twin also has medical anxiety, so hard to know for sure what is real & what isnt. Every day twin ask me for MULTIPLE favors; get things for her, do things for her, etc. Also get MULTIPLE txts every day complaining about not feeling well, yet she refuse go doctors. Counted once a few days ago: in 11 hour period, asked for 7 favors & texted 13 times about pain.

Even when not sick tho, twin basically never help. Feels like she think I “less disabled” than her, not true. I doing horribly and still have take care everyone else while she sits on couch play video games & ask me to bring her things. No one ever bring ME things. Twin NEVER return favor no matter how bad I do/how well she do. One sided only.

Today twin ask for SO MANY THINGS, CONSTANTLY. Doesnt seem to care that I not doing well either & just CANNOT handle, keeps asking anyway. I tell her how bad am doing & immediately she ask for more favors. Won’t shut up about how sick she is (feeling very “wrong” w/stomach issues, has enlarged spleen but don’t know why yet & is worried that is cause), and says she is NOT OK, and that something is VERY wrong & she is worried she is dying, but also won’t get her ass to ER. Also expect /ME/ take her AND go in with, if decides go. Told her has to ask mom or dad first. Now just won’t go, and instead just keep complain to me about how bad doing & keep asking for help with stuff.

On top of that, am constant worried about all shit mom needs to do: get grandma house in her name so can keep (rn bank gets when grandma dies due to 2nd mortgage or something idk, which will make mom & younger homeless), get grandma car in her name (mom hasnt had own car in like 6+ yrs, just uses gma’s), figure out her unemployment (applied but no check yet cuz needs submit weekly proof of job applications & doesnt know how), get guardianship for grandma (mom never even got power of attorney, and is too late now cuz grandma cant understand to sign, so rn we just stuck cuz grandma not capable make decisions, but legally we cant make for her either), update her resume, get help for grandma, etc. Most of it fall to me. Mom kind of person who just WILL NOT do things, no matter how much help u give (ex: was trying get her accommodations for her job after strokes so wouldnt lose job. Explained process multiple times, both verbally & in writing. Figured out who she needed contact for help & wrote out email for her, ALL she had do was copy & paste & send email. Didnt do it. Now fired cuz couldnt keep up w/out accommodations). Mom also no longer even ask for help, just tells us we are doing. Ex: said to me “I’m going to come over tomorrow so you can help me do my job searches for unemployment.” Just tells me I’m doing it, not even ask. Sick of it. Grandma have dementia, at point where cannot even shower or wash hands, we have no support at all, doing everything ourselves. ADRC says only way to get grandma help is to put lien on her house & sell to pay off when she dies, but mom & younger live with grandma so that would make them homeless once she dies. Says we can’t even get occasional respite care unless give up house, let alone regular in home care.

Just can’t handle anymore. Feel like am being broke into thousand pieces, or crushed by thousand lb weights. Feel stuck. Feel like no choices, no good options, no way out. Want run away. Want take younger & her cat & find cabin in woods somewhere & just go run away from everything/everyone else. But can’t, no money. Feel so stuck. No help. No support. Don’t know what do.

[megbonney]

this year has felt way too fast because i realise for 80% of it i was getting mentally rotted by men. let's do a wrapped (of the ones i haven't forgotten).

EBF: first bf for like 2 years. i cut off my best friend under his influence. tried to convince me they were grooming me. tried to convince me i wasn't genderfluid. tried to get his therapist to therapise me. tried to get me to see a therapist. dropped out of school and had virtually no ambition. i had to pretend to be straight infront of his friends. accused me of cheating on him with one of said friends. i felt like he was cheating on me with my "friend" at the time. i had no one besides him. he was attached to me like a parasite and i hated it. dumped him. couldn't handle just staying friends. also killed my self image. went celibate after. oh and he went thru my dms bc that's totally normal. cancer man. 2. RICHIE RICH: was into him during "friends" stage with EBF. met on ow but never really played together. went to a private roman catholic school. led me on. sent me music recs but they were too indie for my teen angst at the time. "friend" made me let her follow him bc she's weird. he didn't see anything wrong with it despite my discomfort. got sick of it bc he was stringing me on and blocked me for being upset. also was confused as to why i wasn't able to go shopping every wknd and didn't understand why i wanted a job bc he was privileged and had an allowance. i tried to meet up but he folded. followed me back on insta 2 or so weeks ago. we haven't spoken. goofy 3. COWORKER: met at first shift. i called him pretty bc that's the only word to rlly describe him and he told other coworkers i tried to ask him out. shorter than me. played war thunder. was really sweet at first. suddenly had coworkers asking if i'd date him. realised he was running his mouth. we watched fury and bladerunner 2077 together. began going dry after i told him i was moving. started being a dickhead. started telling coworkers i was a lesbian. i tried to sort it out but he tried to gaslight me about it. i think he quit atp. good riddance 3. NARC: 23 or 21 yr old man idk. bastion main. had a gf i didn't know abt. treated me like a gf. had an entire fake life. claimed to be a "narcissist and compulsive liar." talked abt his ex the entire time. very degrading. i found his ig and he was actually ugly af. only good thing was that he wasn't codependent. ghosted him after he went dry on me when i got my period. msged his gf and it's been like a month or two without a response. he bought me nitro tho so that was sick. 4. FURRY: was friends with him at the same time as NARC. he also knew about COWORKER because it was roughly right as we met. wanted to be a musician and twitch streamer. 19. balding. had a mommy kink but tried to make me sub. gained feelings for me. i friendzoned him. then he tried to say he was in love a week later. he was parasite #2. friends with MANCHILD. double texted all the time. gooner. cut him off. tried to create tension between fig and i. into the weirdest shit i've ever seen. objectified me. genuinely liked oliver tree. also bought me nitro. 5. MANCHILD: turned 20 like last week. had a gf. never hung out with her. spent everyday hanging out with fig and i. was too stupid so him and fig argued often. tried to make me mediate. most stressful time of yr. i bought him 2 games and he lied to his gf about where he got them from. he also lied about why he got rdr2. backseat gamed everything. whiny. asked me how many fingers i could fit on vc at 2am. also asked me if i'd ever have a 4sum with fig . is now insisting i trapped him because i told people about what happened. 6. CURRENTLY: nothing! i probs forgot some things but a funny thing to note was that i know every guy on this lists' names and most info about them. it was also hard because i wanted to keep all of them approx the same length. happy 2023 ?

[yumenosakiacademy]

nana was saying how she wanted a 2nd meatball sub n i was like ok why not eat 1 n she was like "2 fattening" n i was like "who cares" bc thts what they always tell/told Me n dad n nana scoffed n they were like "this coming from the one who counts every millicalorie" n i narrowed my eyes n said "1. USED to 2. thts the irony. its what u guys told me. cuz u always made fun of me 4 it" n nana was like "i didnt make fun of u" n i was like "rude words. whatever the word 4 tht is." n she was like "no i didnt" when i kno DAMN WELL how much i would bitch n rant on here abt how often shed bring up how i looked deathly n like a skeleton n i told her as such n she was like "i never called u a skeleton" so i was like wanna bet? cuz i hav my old posts on here. so she said yea n i broguht my phone but stupid tumblr search failed me n didnt rly show me anything 4 the keyowrds (typical. tumblrs search is always a Cunt) but dad n nana got in2 an argument n she left anyway so whatever i guess even tho i found a few posts similar 2 what i was talking abt. looking thru my old posts from when i was starving myself made me rly fucking depressed tho bc they spoke of a time when i was thin n bony n pretty n not some chubby overworked fucking ugly hog. n tht wasnt even 2 yrs. 2 yrs ago i was thin n not as ugly (not quite Pretty, but not as heinous. i had my brows back then 2 bc my trich hadnt gotten worse again yet). fucking pathetic.

[candaceandbentleysgreatadventure]

It’s been 2 and a half years….

Let me catch you up. I FINALLY quit vaping and have been off nicotine for almost 2.5 years. I went an entire year and a half without cannabis. I lost some so called friends. I got diagnosed with diabetes. I got pregnant and gave birth to the most beautiful little girl. I bought a car. I started a small business. I had gallbladder surgery. My grandma died. Life.

Losing my grandma and having a surgery all within a week has literally rocked my shit. I usually shake things off pretty fast. I am struggling this time. People close to me have started noticing. I’m having nightmares and I have paranoia and anxiety. I’m so overwhelmed and tired.

And. For the first time in probably almost 3 years… I want to get high. Not blazed on pot high, I wanna get ripped on the opiates. I had to get weaned off those bad boys not even two weeks ago. Docs had me on dilauded which happens to be my DOC and fentanyl to manage post surgery pain.

What’s stopping me? The precious little life beside me sleeping peacefully. So we stay put, we choose life, we choose her, because even tho things are a little dark and twisty her little smile can brighten up anything.

Hi my name is Candace and I’m still a fucking addict. 8 yrs and 11 months.

[hitachiincest]

Thank you for your response <3

I also imagine them as switches, though I do lean to Kaohika more… it’s just that, when you see fanfictions and fanarts of them, in my case I was almost horrified— at the way people take the uke thing way too far (it’s just an act, and like you mentioned, even if Kao likes to be doted on, he doesn’t have to be ukefied to be like that) and the way he’s feminized just make me want to show that he can also take the lead/be in charge (even if mostly in private) like in ep. 15 ;; They also confirmed it themselves in the first volume, that while it seems that Hika takes the lead, it’s the more mature Kao that drives the action/is the same (depends on the translation), and it may sound personal, but I hate it when he’s made all feminine�� like with his Cinderella metaphor (and Hika and Kao always cross dress together), or the fact he ACTS as the uke, and that was only by chance— because when they initially joined the host club, Kao accidentally burnt his finger for real, and Hika was holding him, genuinely concerned— and then they realized that the girls love it so that’s how the act started in the first place.

oh, yea i remember back when id read a bunch of fics of them after my anime rewatch a few yrs back i was like oh thats.. hm,, ;;; cuz id found a few where kaoru was a bit Too uwu uke iirc tho quite a few of them were p old & from when that was the Norm so i just accepted that some fics were products of the times &/or written by younger fans, as lets face it ouran was & still probably is 1 of the entry level animes. i actually dont consume all that much content of them tho (i only read fics Occasionally [this goes for all fandoms] & theres not much art for them in the eng sphere & i dont follow/kno any jp ouran accs on twitter or use pixiv) so that combined w my bad memory of what i Hav seen means im a bit Unknowing of most fanon for them.. lmao... i figured most of the stuff like that was mostly left behind as of a few yrs ago but perhaps not..?

I can't speak much for the feminizing thing bc I can't recall too many fanworks ive read where that was an issue iirc? tho tbf I can't remember much of what I've read at all bc tht was Yrs ago rip sry ;; I Do think they should be portrayed crossdressing Together more often! it'd be cute; let hikaru be in a cute dress too (I may be biased on everything tho I'm a femboy liker thru & thru lol so I'm like more boys in dresses?? Epic im in lol) softer=fem clothes? False- in this house it doesn't matter the boy type; Get In The Dress lol.

but yeah that doesn't mean he's constantly like that... a princess roleplay or 2 or letting hikaru take care of him, maybe, not unlike ppl w rp aspects to their relationships (like how brats aren't brats Always! time & place, etc etc. someone choosing to be bratty in private doesnt mean theyre gonna act like that 24/7) but it's a little sad if people reduce him to his act all the time...

I don't think I mind ppl playing w the princess thing tho considering it Is a part of his chara, but the whole thing was supposed to focus more on the magic of an illusion shattering eventually & losing what he has not quite a princess & prince... ;; but he Was almost/p much comparing himself to a princess' story & when the magic breaks & he's metaphorically left in his simple flats & princeless instead of the lavish life he had at "the ball" [cinderella metaphor. there is no ball, im aware] so it can't be helped if ppl like the princess association i guess.. give ppl an inch & theyll go a mile, & all that. & honestly w hikaru "saving" [ep 15]/"finding" [ep 21] kaoru twice in canon, it doesn't surprise me if they imagine hikaru as his prince & kaoru the princess since while the metaphor was more abt the whole host club not jus hikaru, hikaru was also a big part of it, as the eps focusing on it display his longing looks at his brother & such, w a fesr of losing Him the most. so long as ppl don't Reduce him to his feminine metaphor 100%, i guess. tis only a small part after all, not a loadbearing one. the angst is more the important bit lmao give him a masc cinderella outfit, even. (altho... the allure of a bishie in a dress... Very Enticing to most I'm afraid)

him always having to be the uke role thing in their host act is kind of out of the fans control bc that's canon... if he's content w his act of being that way, then power to him I guess! he himself might also like that in public he's all uwu kyaaa hikaru <3 while at home it's Hikaru who's nuzzling into his throat. a smug sort of feeling, ya know? that only he gets to see hikaru like that, not everyone else.

WAIT actually as I was typing this I remembered some scene from thee movie shoot ep [ep 4, apparently] where they mentioned 1 of them being the receiver or w/e (bc sports) & it was apparently hikaru annoyedly asking why kaorus the seme in the script w their changed charas (hikaru being all "KAORUU OAO" & kaoru gently reassuring him, which is like their actual dynamic instead) w kaoru replying in a similar manner going "yeah >:T"

which implies either he Likes/is fine w his uke role or at least doesn't think the fangirls would like them switching up & wants the status quo to stay the same just in case. I think if he did mind he wouldntve said anything? or even suggested to hikaru that switching up provides something fresh & "it's still doki doki twincest, hikaru~ these girls have a refined taste; they might just take a liking to gap moe ^^"

but those r the 2 charas theyve allowed to be chosen for themselves, in a way, & theyre like yea this is alright. rhey prov have an "if it aint broke dont fix it" mentality & since the girls expect the typical, they see nonreason to deviate. the twins are capable of speaking out- theyd prob speak up if they minded. also, kaoru might kno that hikaru might not want to be seen as vulnerable [ep 16 comes to mind tho that had more to do w circumstances going on at the time] so kaoru takes that upon himself & bears that burden upon his perceived character [as in the way one is seen, not his host club persona] so hikaru won't mind as much? idk im going off on a tangent I feel but I think the thing w "kaoru Having to be the public uke" isn't all that bad since he himself seems fine w playing around w that character. maybe one day they'll switch it up for fun. (not Literally, as technically they could have hikaru play as kaoru but it would still be seen as "kaoru", but I mean For Reals have hikaru as the uke)

in conclusion... to the fandom: pls accept soft dom kaoru into ur hearts & rewatch the twins' eps w fresh eyes I guess. love, @/hitachiincest & @/zyrellla (ghsnkmj lolol)

[wwwbaileyalexandercom-blog]

Weather's cooled here in northern Italy, considerably, tho still complicated. So many summer storms, the kind we only see in spring. This morning was woken @5am. Felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz just going out to one of our balconies.

Then my guy left for Paris, and while driving to one of Milan's airports the fallen trees and debris was quite dramatic.

Down south and Sicily, still very, very hot.

Right now? Perfetto.

phot: taken 2 yrs ago, i think.

[s-jou-m]

top redraw, below attempted sketches, bottom og from 2 yrs ago

this...took so many steps. first it was a messy sketch color style test back in 21 (that makes me sound so old LOL) but i was too shy to post it anywhere since it differed a lot from what i usually drew. i wasn't quite satisfied with it, but i was also really embarrassed so it stayed in the folder (i did like the eyes tho)

then here i am two years later looking for stuff to redraw and was like sure why not. at first i tried just working with the original and transforming parts and coloring over...which could only help so much. SO i decided to try and sketch a redraw. the one on the right made better sense positioning wise, but it didn't have the same feel i was originally going for.

the one on the LEFT went through so many stages. i tried redrawing it to have more of the feel i was going for at first with my current style kinda mixed in but i COULDN'T. GET. THE. ARM. RIGHT. and THE HEAD ANGLE JUST WASN'T WORKING. (not very cash money ú_ù) the hair wasn't really doing it for me either so we come to REDRAW ATTEMPT 3. where i changed the hair to that of another character i had in mind but the funny thing is that then i didn't like the color of the hair, but in changing it im like OH these characters fit the vibe i was going for for ANOTHER set of characters we have for a DIFFERENT story so im like cool, lets just combine these stories or well like, the character i had in mind at first was the mermaid dude but that'll be an AU maybe of these two LOLOLOL

[butchviking]

About losing followers though… I know a lot of people in these spaces don’t want to want the procedures but still have gender dysphoria, sex dysphoria, and/or body dysmorphia (including ED origin) who just cannot stand to hear or see anyone talk about getting top surgery because it sets them off.

Unfollowing for many may be less a negative comment on you and more a personal choice for them. I know I considered it and eventually decided I was in a stable enough place and it would be good for me to see your different choices and thoughts and ground myself step by step in how they don’t need to influence me, make me get stuck thinking about it, etc.

My own body dysphoria around my chest has gone down mostly to this rare rare low point from a lot of different interventions between trying out not wearing a bra and doing tanks instead to addressing my body issues around fat to quitting disparaging remarks and working out core muscles instead of feeling “weird and lumpy” about myself or seeing removing the “offending parts” as the solution to my sensory issues and troubleshooting harder. No idea if any of that makes sense but on the off chance it helps anyone there it is.

Again best of luck no matter what

oh no i know i was just being silly! i am not offended by losing followers on tumblr.com i promise u <3 i know many of them may not want 2 see these conversations fr personal reasons, & tbh any time im posting a lot & losing followers i kind of just assume its mostly a case of 'hey, what's she talking about now? didnt i follow this blog for feminist posts like 3 years ago? all she talks about now is weird shit and my chemical romance. im out.' lmao

thank u fr sharing yr experiences tho; i hope its helpful to some ppl reading. there really are a lot of other ways 2 cope w dysphoria i want 2 be very clear on that, extreme measures aren't the right call for everyone nd there's often much better, safer ways to manage.

[nbrook29]

you finally joined the young royals fandom! i remember a year ago or so you said you liked it but couldnt get into it in a fandom way. what changed that for you?

Hi! :) I think for me, YR happened too quickly after wtfock ended. It was like a week or sth, I was still mourning 💀 It's always hard for me to move on and I also need time to like something else. YR didn't evoke many emotions in me at the time. Now, with 2 seasons, the story feels much richer and I was able to appreciate it and love it. Even though at the first watch I was like 😬 haha. But then I was watching reactions on youtube and it made me rewatch it and I think it helped that I knew what was gonna happen cause I could focus on other things, all the subtle parts and paralels and stuff. I absolutely adore Edvin's acting, he's so fucking talented. I also gained a new appreciation for Omar's acting, which I wasn't sure about before.

But, I wouldn't exactly say that I joined the fandom tho because I don't really follow anyone on tumblr, just loosely follow the tag and check twitter when I'm super bored. It's not like it used to be with wtfock when I followed my favorite blogs and we would all freak out about new sobbe content etc. I miss that :( It's also different to write fics for YR - with sobbe, I felt like I was writing for those specific people that I knew from tumblr and ao3 and I loved that. With YR it's quite impersonal and def not as exciting when I post.