#quirk for long periods of time and it was that feeling of starvation that lead to her

[arteriovenous]

in my canon for himiko's family, after her quirk presented her parents started to try and limit her time unsupervised with her siblings out of fear she'd hurt them — and, as bloodthirsty as she was even then, she wasn't at the stage where she would have hurt her siblings to try and appease that hunger. it wasn't even something she'd considered properly yet, the only blood she'd ever had coming from a dead bird and her injured friend when they were already hurt. she hadn't quite conceptualized the idea of hurting someone else to take their blood yet, not something living and breathing and definitely not her siblings who would have been scared and fought back, but her parents didn't trust her and limited her time with them more and more as she grew older and the quirk counselling proved ineffective. while this fed into himiko's feelings of isolation, it also did protect her siblings from her inevitable breakdown after too many years of being forced to deny her quirk and the natural hunger that came with it.

by the time she first committed murder, she barely saw her siblings at all. she spent most of her time at home cooped up in her room to hide from her parents and not have to pretend for a little while and at that point she felt like she didn't know her siblings at all. they were better than her, the normal children her parents so desperately wanted. she didn't love them anymore because she didn't know them and that, in some ways, did protect them from the worst of her hunger. she knew not to ask them for their blood, just like she couldn't ask anyone for their blood, but she also didn't want their blood. she didn't love them enough to want their blood and she didn't envy them enough either, because they were still completely subject to the judgement of their parents even if they were deemed acceptable. that could change at any time and himiko knew that full well

[fivewrites]

That’s Not How Child Abuse Works: Todoroki Enji Edition

Let’s talk about character design and child abuse in BNHA.

Let me be clear: Enji Todoroki is a bad person. Full stop. This is not a defense of him, or an excuse of his behaviours in any way. This is, however, an examination of the specific ways in which he is a bad person, and why I feel a fair portion of the fandom gets him and his relationship with Shoto Todoroki wrong.

So, who is Enji Todoroki?

Trigger warning for discussions of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, as well as domestic violence under the cut

Also, spoilers

Alright, let me start off with a preface. It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. This is not a strict do-and-do-not of writing. No one is stopping you from writing whatever you want. If you want to write rape as a plot device or cheap shock-value characterization for your villain, I literally cannot stop you. No one can stop you. Go ahead. 

As well, this post contains hypothesis and conjecture that are not proven as fact by the canonical text, but may or may not be inferred through examination. In no way am I trying to state that my assumptions or suggestions are true or canonical, they are merely that - suggestions on how to write realistic portrayals of familial abuse.

Thirdly, there is a very good resource out there for examining abusers. I have found the text Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft invaluable to understanding the patterns of abuse. You can read the whole PDF for free here.

Have fun and be creative, pals.

From what we know of the story, Enji Todoroki is the #2 hero in the world, and has been for quite some time. He is deeply jealous and insecure about this. About the fact that he has never, and probably will never take the number one spot away from All Might. And so, at some point in his life, Enji came up with a plan. He was going to have a son who would do it for him.

Flash forward a bit; Enji paid off the family of Shoto’s mother in order to marry her and have access to her quirk. He was going to produce what would be, in his mind, a perfect heir. (This is bad. He is a bad person for doing this. Full stop.) Enji had several children before Shoto, whom he considers to be “failures” and presumably has little to no relationship with them. However, Shoto’s mother was eventually able to bear a child hybridized with both their powerful quirks. Happy with the result, Enji has since taken it upon himself to form Shoto into his perfect heir.

Enji has done this through abusive means of control and dominance, and in doing so has created a highly toxic relationship between himself, his wife and his son. Much of the problems in the Todoroki household are because of Enji’s actions. He is an abuser. But what kind of abuser he is is not random, and the abusive acts he performs are not random, either.

So who is Enji Todoroki?

Simply put, he’s a Stage Mom. He’s an asshole, abusive, controlling stage mom who treats his son more like a Pokemon than a person.

He is the kind of parent that will drag Shoto out of bed for practice, force him to eat and study, control every minute of his schedule and make sure this kid is going to become, by any means necessary, the man he could never be. That is Enji’s logic. He wants Shoto to succeed where he failed, by any means necessary. 

However, Enji has a logical plan for his son. All of his abusive actions have a purpose. He’s not going to meet his desired goals by harming Shoto to the point of total physical and emotional destruction. He would only be sabotaging himself.

What does Enji Todoroki want?

Power - Enji wants to be the number one hero instead of All Might. Barring that, he wants his son to be #1 in his stead Respect - from his family, and the general public, Enji wants to be seen in a positive light Control - Enji wants to be in control of himself, his family, his work and his destiny Legacy - Enji wants to extend his power beyond just himself, into his children so they continue projecting his power even after he dies

What is Enji Todoroki afraid of?

Losing power - physically and professionally, Enji cannot handle being seen as a weak man, or have Shoto be seen as a weak son. Losing respect - Enji needs his family and the public to treat him as the man he sees himself as Losing control - Enji cannot allow his son or anyone else to disobey him and prevent him from realizing his goals Losing legacy - If Shoto does not become who he wants, Enji will have wasted a huge portion of his life and resources on a failed project

Enji, being a logical and sane* person is going to pursue actions that lead him towards his desired goals. He is also going to avoid actions that will cause him to lose his desired goals.

(*Sane in this case simply meaning “capable of rational thought”. Not moral or ethical thought. Sane people can choose to lie, steal, murder, rape, etc. They are deliberately choosing bad choices, but they are still sane.)

At this point, I would also highly recommend reading the section in Bancroft’s book on the types of abusers in chapter 4, page 219. You can decide for yourself which one (or several) Enji fits under.

Knowing Enji’s goals and mindset, here are a few common tropes I see in Todoroki fic and why I feel they’re not all that logically plausible

Enji beats Shoto within an inch of his life

Simply put, Enji has no reason to do this. Enji sees his son as an extension of himself and his own accomplishments. Shoto is, to him, a prize pig. Physically brutalizing Shoto would be Enji brutalizing himself.

Remember, Enji has an image that he wants to project to the outside world. He is a public figure. A celebrity. He wants the public to see him, and by extension his family, as powerful, united, untouchable and also a traditionally conservative Japanese family. 

The media and public would likely become suspect of Enji’s power and likability if they saw his son consistently covered in bruises. Or worse (for Enji) they might assume that Shoto has been losing a bunch of fights and is a weak hero. Enji absolutely would not want the world to think this, and would not let his perfect son be seen as weak or defeated.

While it is reasonable to assume that Enji might use corporal punishment for misbehaviour, there is no reason to assume that he assaults Shoto to the point of hospitalization or death.

It is also reasonable to assume that Enji overtrains Shoto, and pushes him beyond his physical limits in pursuit of shaping him into the perfect warrior. We saw him train Shoto until he vomits as a child. However, this still follows Enji’s logical purpose of making him “better”. It is unlikely that he would physically attack Shoto for frivolous reasons, like his own amusement or anger. It would undercut his goal of turning Shoto into a miniature version of himself.

Enji starves Shoto

Again, there is no reason for Enji to do this. He wants to project to the world that he is strong, and by extension, his family is strong. Starving Shoto would seriously harm Enji’s plans for him.

Shoto would struggle physically and mentally in school, and Enji wants a top performer

Shoto wouldn’t develop properly physically, and Enji wants a big, strong son to prove he is a big, strong father

Enji wants to project to the world that he is powerful and in control. If the public saw Shoto as small and shrimpy, they would seriously question his strength and authority as a patriarch. What, this powerful man is so broke he can’t afford food for his son?

Now, as an asshole stage mom who tries to control his son’s life, it would probably make more sense to put Shoto on an extreme health food diet in order to improve his performance. But outright starvation? It doesn’t make sense.

Besides. Have you seen this 5’9” 155-pounds-of-muscle kid? He is not starving.

Enji locks Shoto in his room for extended periods

Maybe when Shoto was younger and misbehaved? It’s not an unlikely punishment by an abusive parent, especially for a younger child, but Shoto is a teenager now. And, as we can see in the current story, Shoto has fairly free movement, both inside the household and out. 

He regularly visits his mother in the hospital, is out long after dark in the hideout raid arc, and basically goes wherever he wants whenever he wants. At 15, Shoto isn’t being locked up anywhere by his father. He is a dutiful and obedient son and Enji doesn’t seem to worry about him running away from home.

Another point to consider is that a lot of this freedom is still predicated on Shoto’s conditional obedience to Enji overall. Enji allows Shoto freedom because he believes that Shoto is following in his footsteps, even if he deems his son “rebellious” at times. If Enji decided that Shoto was at risk of running away or betraying him, his punishments may become much more severe.

See: Why He Stays section below

This is also why Shoto’s rebellious compromise in the first two seasons is an incredibly clever survival mechanism. He is, technically, still following his father’s plan for him. However, by choosing to ignore his fire side, he is still disobeying his father. But his father cannot reasonably punish him for that since Shoto is still a top-ranking student and a powerful quirk user overall. It’s a brilliant power-play when all the power rests in Enji’s hands.

Enji verbally abuses Shoto to make him feel bad about himself

Yes and No? It’s likely that Enji does say a lot of really terrible things to his son. The way he speaks in the manga and anime suggest a man who has very little respect for those he considers to be beneath him, and only begruding respect for those who are above him.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Enji insults or even threatens Shoto. But he does it for a purpose. As stated above, Enji wants to maintain control and power, and to continue his legacy through Shoto.

He doesn’t want Shoto to feel weak or degraded or to become a pushover in life. He wants Shoto to become strong and impenetrable, a perfect recreation of toxic masculinity. If Shoto were to break down crying from insults, Enji would have failed in creating Shoto into someone who is hard and emotionless. Therefore extreme verbal abuse to the point where Shoto is crying is less likely than just casual bullying.

Shoto is untouchable and has never, ever been touched or hugged

His mother loved him. When Shoto was a young child, we see her in the anime hugging and cuddling her son. So that’s out.

In the present, Shoto lives with other people than just his father. In the anime, we see that Fuyumi still lives at home, and cares about what Shoto does, as shown when he goes to visit his mother in the hospital. I find it highly unlikely that siblings in a reasonably amicable relationship never, ever hug, even if they are generally busy in their separate lives.

It is unclear if Shoto still lives with his brothers, or the older woman who was taking care of them in the flashback panel of the manga, but again, it would be stange if these people, who are presumably not abusive, never, ever touched Shoto in any affectionate way ever. Shoto isn’t cursed.

While it is reasonable to assume that Enji is an old-school patriarch who doesn’t show much, if any, physical affection to his son, he still gives him some attention, and provides Shoto with everything he needs to be a successful hero. (whether Shoto wants to follow this path or not is another story. Fortunately, Shoto does)

Enji likely still trains with Shoto, sparring with him and showing him fighting technique. He may not hug his son, but he doesn’t ignore him. He might even pat him on the back if Shoto does something that Enji approves of, such as boosting the family profile in public. 

We saw at the sports festival how proud Enji was of Shoto using his fire half. Yes, it was a selfish pride, and Enji was really more congratulating himself than his son, but we saw that Enji doesn’t just hate Shoto for the sake of it. 

Is Shoto touch-starved? Possibly. He has probably seen less physical affection than someone with loving parents like Izuku or Ochako, but I doubt it is so extreme to the point of him breaking down into tears because he’s never had a tender hug.

Any form of sexual abuse

No. Look, I get it, Enji is an asshole and we hate him. I won’t deny this. But you can be an asshole and not be a child molester. And it is, quite frankly, lazy writing to take a character whom you want to show is an Evil Bastard™ and just write him off as “child rapist”. Because that’s not who Enji is. Enji Todoroki is a lot of things. He’s a bad person. But he is not someone who molests his own son.

Now, if you want to talk about marital rape, there is certainly enough evidence to believe that Enji’s relationship with Shoto’s mother was non-consensual, and probably violent. I will not argue this point. But Enji feeling entitled to women’s bodies and using Shoto’s mother to produce the perfect child still doesn’t make him a child molestor. These are two very separate forms of Evil Bastardry.

Enji’s pattern of abuse follows a logical train of thought. It’s not ethical, and it’s not kind, but it does make logical sense for his character. What doesn’t make sense is him trying to create a perfect superhero offspring, and then seriously damaging that child with sexual abuse. That’s not Enji’s purpose or plan. Enji used Shoto’s mother to produce Shoto. He has no reason to attack Shoto in this way, beyond “hurr hurr I’m evil”. It would sabotage Shoto’s chances at becoming the national hero that Enji desires

Ways to accurately examine and portray the abuse that happens in the Todoroki household

Because, absolutely, there is abuse. And it is serious. Just because Shoto isn’t being locked up or starved or beaten doesn’t mean he is not being abused or hasn’t been abused in the past. But the abuse needs to follow Enji’s logical train of thought. He has a very specific goal in mind, and he is willing to do anything to accomplish that goal, even if it means everyone in his life suffering for it.

This following section contains my own opinions regarding portrayal of domestic abuse and violence. It is not a set of must-follow rules, merely suggestions based on personal and professional experience.

Physical abuse

Physical striking as a form of specific discipline for misbehaviour make sense, but not random, extreme violence

Enji wants Shoto to be obedient, but also strong. He would not be not above using violence to control his son, but it would need to be in connection to direct misbehaviour, and relative to the infraction Shoto has committed.

Abusers, despite what they claim, generally do not “lose it” or not understand their own strength. They know what they are doing and how hard they can hit. A professional fighter like Enji especially knows how hard he can hit a person and what damage he can cause. Any damage done to Shoto would be deliberate, and Enji would have to deal with the consequences of extreme violence.

Shoto cannot continue to train under Enji if he is constantly dealing with serious injuries and needing hospitalization to recover.

Overtraining Shoto and ignoring his physical and verbal needs for rest

This is actually more emotional and psychological abuse than physical, because it shows Enji cares about his own trajectory for Shoto more than Shoto himself. 

And again, the physical abuse needs to follow the logical sense of making Shoto better in Enji’s eyes. For example, he’s not going to make Shoto scrub all the floors in their house, because he takes pride in his creation and likely believes Shoto would be above such menial tasks.

Controlling Shoto’s diet

While I don’t think it’s logical for Enji to starve Shoto, It would be more reasonable for him to develop Orthorexia, a condition similar to anorexia where someone is obsessed with health and purity of foods. He would make sure Shoto is eating entirely healthy food that he approves of, while prohibiting anything he sees as unhealthy, like sugar or candy.

Controlling Shoto’s rest schedule

Same with food, in his household, Enji probably controls when Shoto trains and sleeps. However, by 15, Shoto is probably used to this and sees it as completely normal and not abusive. Human beings are amazing at normalizing the worst things.

Controlling Shoto’s study and free time

In order to min/max his Pokemon son’s fighting stats, Enji probably wouldn’t let Shoto waste his time with things children do like “hobbies” or “fun”.

Not allowing him to play with his siblings

Not allowing him to play with friends outside the family

Not allowing him to pursue anything that isn’t about becoming a hero, such as art or video games. Part of Shoto’s awkwardness is likely because he’s not terribly up to speed with pop culture references, seeing as how he likely has very little time to consume these things that Enji would see as frivolous

Using any and all free time Shoto has to train him into becoming a hero

Verbal Abuse

When abusers use their words, they use them very specifically. While they may make excuses like “I didn’t mean it” or “I didn’t know what I was saying at the time” this is a lie. They know what they are saying and they know why it hurts. They specifically want to instill fear or shame in their target in order to keep control over them. When giving Enji Todoroki dialogue, it is important to remember what his (fucked up) goals and values are, and how he is trying to achieve those (fucked up) goals and values.

Instead of just calling Shoto names randomly, Enji would likely make everything about himself.

“You’re no son of mine”

“Why can’t you be more like me?”

“You’re my son, Shoto, act like it.”

Enji would likely try to shape Shoto’s world view to be extremely similar to his own, giving Shoto biased information, no matter its accuracy

“Your mother was a weak woman who didn’t raise you correctly”

“All Might is a fool and you’d be a fool to admire him”

“Those kids at school are just trying to drag you down. Don’t spend time with them.”

Praise and affection would be given in relation to how Enji personally feels and how Shoto is living up to his father’s demands

“You’re becoming the man I knew you could be”

“I’ve worked so hard to create you”

“You’re strong, like me”

Psychological Abuse

This is probably the biggest factor in Enji’s abuse, far more than anything physical he does to Shoto. And while writers may think physical acts such as beating and starvation make for good story, I would argue that these more subtle acts in the relationship are more realistic, and can prove far more damaging in the long run.

Enji treats Shoto like an object, not a person.

This is the biggest single factor of abuse, and is the core of their relationship’s toxicity. Enji does not see Shoto as his own person with his own thoughts, opinions or desires. He sees Shoto as a miniature extension of himself that he can use and control in order to be more successful as a hero, and eventually take the number one spot from All Might.

Enji does not allow Shoto the freedom to grow and develop as his own person, and pursue any interests beyond those interests of himself.

Enji only supports his son’s confidence in relation to him becoming a hero.

Shoto has been denied a normal childhood and normal development in pursuit of his father’s goals

Shoto can see his friends at school hang out and talk and laugh and watch movies and play video games and be kids. Shoto was likely not allowed to do any of that and he can feel incredibly isolated, lonely and bitter about not being able to relate to his peers

Shoto can have confidence issues, even when he is #1

Enji has built a kind of fragile confidence in Shoto. He needs his son to be #1 all the time. #2 just isn’t good enough. Many child prodigies have spoken out about how parental pressure crushed their self-esteem and destroyed whatever passion they had for their chosen subject (art, music, dance, sports, being a hero)

Being raised in an environment of constant pressure and criticism can lead a person to develop a highly critical self-image and OCD tendencies. They constantly feel “never good enough” because to the parent they looked up to, they never were. There was always something that needed improvement.

Enji is living through his child

Because Shoto has been denied his own childhood, he is being used, physically and psychologically, by his father as a way to live out his own unfulfilled dreams of success. This is incredibly damaging for Shoto because he cannot feel like a whole person in and of himself. Children who are used b their parents in this way often feel like a kind of mask that the parent wears, rather than a child who is loved and nurtured.

Children who are used by their parents also tend to have a poor or underdeveloped sense of self-image, and Shoto may have difficulty separating his own choices and desires from that of his father.

Unable to mature emotionally

Because Enji controls so much of his son’s life, Shoto is unable to grow emotionally and unable to make important decisions for himself, from picking out his own clothes, to saying no to peer pressure

Shoto will probably have difficulty forming intimate relationships (romantic or platonic) because he has very little reference of how to behave in a non-abusive way.

He may unconsciously replicate his father’s abusive behaviours with a partner

Even if Shoto can recognise abusive behaviours and not want to replicate them, he would struggle because he does not know what else to do

Potential psychological things Enji might do

Ignoring / Discouraging Shoto from pursuing anything Enji does not approve of

“Hey dad, look, I drew a bird!” “That’s nice son, how many criminals have you fought today?”

Forgetting important milestones like birthdays or good grades

Enji is self-absorbed with his own goals and does not take interest in his son’s personal life beyond how it would benefit him, personally. Shoto has grown up feeling like he owes his father and his family success and that a lot is riding on him to be the best. Shoto does not get a reward for getting perfect grades, he gets a “This is what I expect of you.”

Imbalance of power amongst siblings

One very common tactic amongs abusers is splitting the power dynamic of the household in order to maintain and control power for themselves

Abusers will often pick a “golden child” that they place all of their expectations upon, and then compare all other children to that child.

“Fuyumi, why can’t you be more like Shoto? He’s doing great and you’re doing terrible.”

This builds resentment between siblings and prevents them from allying with each other against the abuser.

It places the “golden child” in a difficult position of conditional acceptance between allying with the abusive parent, or allying with the rest of the family and risk losing their ascended position.

(See Azula from ATLA: Azula’s power came from the fact that she was “not a failure like Zuko” and saw favour in her father’s eyes only when compared to the child he did not like)

Refusing to acknowledge the relationship Shoto had with his mother, or misrepresenting it to the public

Enji knew that Shoto loved his mother, and saw her psychological breakdown / attack on Shoto as her own failing, and not related to his own abusive behaviour. Even when abusers absolutely know they are in the wrong, they do not take responsibility for their actions, and find ways to shift blame to someone or something else so that they are never forced to change their behaviour. This would build huge resentment in Shoto if his father never acknowledged that his mother’s breakdown was his fault

To the public, Enji still wants to project that powerful, traditional family ideal. He probably either didn’t say anything to the media and they don’t know that Shoto’s mother is gone, or he lied, making it again sound like her breakdown was some sort of freak accident and not a direct result of his abuse.

Why does he stay?

Why does any abuse survivor stay? Why not just run away and go live with Midoriya or Aizawa? The simple answer is, it’s safer to stay than to leave.

The truth about abuse is that there is no easy solution. There is no adoption rescue. Even calling the Japanese equivalent of child protective services is not an instant fix, and cases can take months, if not years to resolve.

For Shoto to be taken away from his family, Enji would have to prove he is unfit as a parent in the court of law. Unfortunately, courts very often side with the parent. If Enji is not starving, beating up or molesting his child, the court system would likely justify his custody of his child. Being a terrible asshole is not enough of a reason to be taken away from your parent, in a legal sense

If Shoto leaves, who becomes the target for blame?

In abusive relationships, there is often a protector, a sort of shock-absorber, who mediates the abuse. This may be the spouse / wife, or an older sibling protecting the younger ones. If Shoto leaves, his other siblings, including Fuyumi may be at much greater risk for Enji’s retribution. Abusers are often at heir most violent and unpredictable when their victim is trying to break away and leave

Shoto does not love his father, but he does grudgingly respect his skill

Shoto has his own goals. He wants to be a powerful hero, just as Midoriya and Bakugou do. And, in Shoto’s mind, his father is part of that goal. Shoto willingly chose his father’s agency to intern with, because he acknowledges that Enji is still an accomplished professional, even though his methods and attitude are shitty and abusive.

Is Shoto brainwashed / gaslit / controlled? Probably not insignificantly. If Shoto had been raised in a different environment, he may not feel compelled to apply to his father’s agency, but his choice shows that he is still actively attached to his family and not yet ready to leave.

Shoto may have an inheritance, or other resources at risk if he disobeys

Abusers often use financial control as a way of keeping their victims in line and unable to escape. If Shoto were to run away, he might very likely have no financial way to support himself, and may even have to drop out of an expensive school like UA, preventing him from achieving his goals of becoming a hero.

Enji has a lot of friends and resources

Enji, as a professional hero, has been working within the justice department for decades. He probably knows a lot of police officers, DAs, prosecutors, judges, etc. It is well known that cops are willing to commit crimes in order to protect one another within the system. If Enji’s son tries to accuse his father of child abuse, he is facing a hugely biased system where his father could influence or bribe the outcome. 

And as we know with his mother, Enji is not above corruption or bribery. Shoto is at great risk if he goes to the cops.

In Shoto’s case, the best solution in his mind seems to be to “bear it out” and wait until he comes of age in order to leave, rather that running away or getting the courts involved. This is not an uncommon strategy for many abused children. Whether or not it is the best one, no one can say. One can only hope that Shoto has the strength to make it through until he ages into legal adulthood and is able to move on from his abusive situation.

Other considerations: Dabi

If you a believe in the theory that Dabi is actually an older Todoroki child, there are other factors to take into consideration with Enji’s behaviour.

If Dabi was Enji’s first attempt at creating an heir, and Enji lost him, this means that Enji has already spent considerable time and resources on his plan to create the perfect son.

If he has already failed once, Enji might possibly not be as extremely harsh on Shoto if he believes that Shoto might run away or turn against him

Enji could see his failure with Dabi and try to correct his “mistakes” with the way he is raising Shoto.

Enji may still be in his prime, but not for long. He is aging, and probably doesn’t have much more chance for success to raise a child from birth if he is not successful with Shoto. Shoto is pretty much his final big investment, and after losing Dabi, Enji is going to take every precaution to make sure Shoto turns out the way he wants, for better or worse.

In conclusion

I feel like a stronger take on the abuse that Shoto survives is one that takes his father’s goals and neurosis into account, rather than just relying on the shock of extreme physical behaviour in order to draw empathy out of the reader. Shoto’s situation is bad, but it’s also sadly common and relatable in our world. Portraying Shoto’s abuse as more realistic is better writing than putting him in an easily solvable fantasy world here he is hit or molested and then adopted by a rescuer. 

Part of the reason I wrote this is because I see a lot of extreme examples of physical abuse in fiction and fanfiction, but few that go into or validate the subtleties of psychological abuse. Rather, these dangerous behaviours are often obscured or treated as tolerable or even romantic. I often walk away from a story feeling like the only “valid” abuse is that of the extreme kind.

But I want to press to readers and writers: subtle abuse is abuse. You don’t need to be beaten or starved or raped to be abused, to speak up, to pronounce that relationship as toxic and try your best to leave. It can be incredibly difficult, feeling trapped in a family that suffers from the generational trauma of abuse, and I can only give those of you who are living and surviving in these situations my deepest empathy and support.

http://www.thehotline.org/ https://ncadv.org/resources http://makeitourbusiness.ca/resources/internet-resources-for-domestic-violence

[ivorytowerblr]

NaNoWriMo 2017: Nov 16th

My word count is rising slowly, but I still really do need to write more.

Word Count: 1244 Previously: Week One (Nov 1st-5th) Week Two (Nov 6th-12th) 13th 14th 15th

“I will,” Doctor Singh assured her. Diana felt her concern, and the way her heartbeat was slowing after the confrontation. Wolfram’s thoughts whispered assurance in the back of her mind, and again, she had to resist taking his hand.

“Let’s go,” the lead soldier said, gesturing. “You’ll be taking our jet back.”

“Actually, you’re going to want to make sure they’re both brought back to Arizona,” Diana said, looking to him. Again, his thoughts were mirror-slick. “It possesses forensic evidence regarding the report we will be making to Director Ortiz.”

“We didn’t bring dozens of soldiers,” the man snapped. “How are we supposed to crew both?”

“I’m sure you’ll find some creative way to do so,” Diana said, her lips quirking into a slight smirk. “After all, we got here, didn’t we?”

Where there should have been emotion -- anger at her insolence, curiosity at the absence of their pilot -- there was nothing, and he merely gestured for them to leave. There was no need to look to Wolfram or to confirm his concern. She could feel it.

Having him so close should be frightening to me, but instead it feels so freeing, Diana thought. It means I don’t have to be alone, isolated from everyone.

Of course you don’t, Wolfram said. I’m right here with you.

“What are you smiling about?” asked one of the soldiers. This one Diana could sense well enough, and his thoughts were unnerved. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Diana said. “I look forward to going home.”

~ * ~

Wolfram slept on the plane ride back to Arizona, and Diana dozed, waking on and off to look out the window and contemplate the world above the clouds. In the end, owing to the lack of pilots involved, soldiers had been left behind to guard the jet, while the rest formed Diana and Wolfram’s escort back to the Project Xavier facility.

During one of her extended waking periods, Diana watched the news scrawl, frowning at what she saw. The images of violence were not a surprise to her in a broad sense. After all, they had only come from a near-apocalyptic war. Of course there would be petty violence to undercut the grand efforts of humanity united against machine.

It was why there was violence that surprised her. There had been rumblings for months about the labour shortage on Earth, but they had had time to deal with it. She had investigated a number of the concerned parties at Ortiz’ request and told him that there was no concern of violent protest. So long as police provocation remained minimal, they would be content to write thinkpieces and offer advice impractical to the people of hivecities or those maimed by the very war that had brought them to this point.

No more, or so it seemed. Something had set them off, sending people into the streets, loudspeakers blaring as political leaders called for calm.

Food riots. Is there anything more terrible? Racism and health epidemics can pick people off and display the callousness and cruelty of those in power, but starvation cuts swathes across a world’s population. Wealth can stave it off, but you cannot pay an empty field to give you food.

Diana had gone back to sleeping then, though her mind was uneasy. Images flitted through her mind, envisioning signs and faces twisted in anger and fear. She could see hands reaching out, throwing things, trying to provoke a police force already too-quick to violence.

She could see… she could see…

Metal. Not just in their hands, but--

“Attention, passengers,” called the pilot, a man named Briggs. Diana woke with a start, and the surge of her emotion woke Wolfram a moment afterwards. “We will be experiencing turbulence on our descent towards Phoenix, Arizona. Please remain secured, and be aware of the safety procedures in case of an emergency.”

“What is this, a commercial flight?” Wolfram muttered. “Any idea what’s going on?”

Diana flipped on the screen in front of her, searching for the news reports. Instead, she found quiet, sedate updates about weather and sports. “Not entirely, but I’m afraid we’re going to find out.”

Wolfram reached out, offering his hand to her, and Diana took it, twining their fingers together and let her mind touch his.

I saw news reports while I was awake, she explained. Protests about the labour shortage escalating into food riots. They’re gone now, I think it’s being kept from us.

Wonderful, Wolfram replied. Do you think it has something to do with the Martians?

It could, Diana admitted. They failed to kill us, and now they’re trying to force Ortiz’ and the federal government’s hands. I’m certain there’s another way.

Diana could feel the plane descending, and the rumble-shudder of the turbulence on the plane, though there was little it could do to truly threaten them. Their adventure was nearly over. With the protests, it was likely that Diana would be called on again to soothe the worries of citizens, assuming her brief glimpse of freedom after spending so long in chains did not see her isolated and collared once more.

They were chains of my own making, I shouldn’t resent them so much.

You did what you had to so that you could continue to help people, Wolfram said, thumbing gently over her knuckles. You shouldn’t have to go back to it.

We’ll see, Diana said, smiling sadly. I--

Abruptly, the news feed, such as it were, cut out, leaving Diana with only an error message. She let her thoughts flow into Wolfram’s mind, mixing with his, as their alarm blended together into one near-panicked whole.

Could it just the turbulence interfering with the data transmission? -- No, why would it? It’s never done so before? -- The broadcast towers, then? Or the satellites? -- Uninterrupted access, even through war and natural disaster is the new norm. -- Then we’ve been cut off deliberately. What don’t they want us to see? -- It might not be the pilot or the military personnel… -- Then what are you proposing? Some kind of blanket-denial? That’s out of science fiction!

The plane jerked violently, and Diana drew her hand back, bracing against the chair. New restraints, in addition to the old ones that usually kept her in place, closed around her. She glanced at Wolfram, similarly restrained and then looked outside the window.

“The engine’s on fire,” Diana breathed as the jet dipped sharply. “Someone’s shooting at us again!”

“I feel like that explains more than it doesn’t,” Wolfram said, swearing softly. “Keep loose, our seats should protect us when we get close enough to the ground.”

Diana’s eyes remained on the window, and the glint-flash of something streaking towards us. “And if we don’t get close enough to the ground for them to work?”

“...then we may very well be screwed.”

~ * ~

The smoke and dust thrown up by the wreckage of the ship was nearly intolerable. Diana coughed, feeling each half-breath rattle in her lungs, threatening to choke her. Her eyes burned and streamed. She held one arm up to protect her face from it all, to little avail.

That she could walk at all was a miracle she owed entirely to her seat’s safety features. The same could not be said for Briggs, who had died when a missile had hit the cockpit, and their escort, who hadn’t made it to their seats. Wolfram was alive. She knew that the way she knew her own soul.

She just needed to find him.