#quick It's gonna hurt like hell to become well But if we set the bone straight It'll mend It'll fix And we'll be well Ain't nothing come
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 11 months ago
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im havign shrimp emotions
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theohhelloslyrics · 4 months ago
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ain't nothing come easy
no, nothing comes quick
it's gonna hurt like hell to become well.
but if we set the bone straight
it'll mend,
it'll fix,
and we'll be
well.
- Theseus, The Oh Hellos
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nerteragranadensis · 1 year ago
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I was born in the vacant / Wasteland of the faithful / You say prayers when you're scared / To be careless and found ungrateful / I was born a defender / Of a hell made for sinners / And never did ever forget / That it's still well equipped for quitters
— Mutemath, "Achilles Heel"
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An amateur orchid grower works in the window of his greenhouse in Silver Spring, Maryland. April 1971. Photograph by Gordon Gahan, National Geographic.
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If anyone remembers my name / If I'm ever known for anything / Let it be I ran into the night / Running with a firelight, firelight
— Matt Maher, "Firelight"
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A bonfire on the bank of a river in British Columbia, with snowy mountains in the background. August 2018. Photograph by Courtnie Tosana.
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Look! The LORD is coming from his dwelling place; he comes down and treads on the heights of the earth. The mountains melt beneath him and the valleys split apart, like wax before the fire, like water rushing down a slope.
— Micah 1:3-4, New International Version
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The old cooling towers from the decomissioned Rancho Seco Nuclear Power Station, on the other side of a lake. February 2007. Photograph by Tom Spaulding.
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Ain't nothing come easy / No, nothing comes quick / It's gonna hurt like hell to become well / But if we set the bone straight / It'll mend / It'll fix / And we'll be well
— The Oh Hellos, "Theseus"
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Trash clogs a waterway in Zunil, Guatemala. November 2020. Photograph by Alexander Schimmeck.
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No, I am not afraid to die / It's every breath that comes before
— The Oh Hellos, "This Will End"
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Alexey Akindinov, "Dance of Death." 105.5x130 cm, oil on canvas, 2009. p. Collection of the Museum of World Funeral Culture, Novosibirsk. "This is the retinue of death, which plays along with her, playing the violin. The image of death is impartial and friendly. It is illuminated by warm reflections from the burning flame of the fire, which symbolizes the energy of life. People dancing around the fire personify human action in earthly life. How to keep warm by the fire of life and not get burned? This question is asked by everyone who comes into this world."
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little-box-of-autism · 2 years ago
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Lyric Prompts [Prompts # 4]
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"I've earned myself a reputation
That my bark is much worse than my bite
But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands
With all of my tiny might"
~ Take Me to War by The Crane Wives.
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"Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
It's gonna hurt like hell to become well
But if we set the bone straight
It'll mend
It'll fix
And we'll be well."
~ Theseus by The Oh Hellos
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"We were born in the shadow
Of the crimes of our fathers
Blood was our inheritance
No, we did not ask for this."
~ The Valley by The Oh Hellos
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"They're walking to the
Beat of a broken drum.
Digging for worth in
A land under a foreign sun.
The children call bitter words
Of a strange tongue.
Hearts down, they're walking
Heavy until the dying's down. "
~ Monsters Calling Home by Run River North
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"And I could feel the breaking of my cold stone heart was about to begin
The moment that we, locked eyes
Now everywhere you go my eyes follow close"
Sea Meets Earth by Fever Fever
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"And a voice like your father's tells you nothing good's for free
Well, that may be
But you're walking home to me"
~ Home to me by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.
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"I'll return one day
With the light upon my face
And the moon and stars will all sing to me."
~ The Moon and the Stars by John Mark Nelson.
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"No, I am not afraid to die
It's every breath that comes before
Heartache, I've heard, is part of life, and I have broken more and more."
~ This Will End by The Oh Hellos
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Taglist: @hyperfixatedfandomer @yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation
Comment if you'd like to be tagged for future prompts!
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prof-polaris · 10 months ago
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🎶
[Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
It's gonna hurt like hell to become well
But if we set the bone straight
It'll mend
It'll fix
And we'll be well
Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
But I want for you this, that you are well
I want for us this, that we are well]
Theseus, The Oh Hellos
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aidan-hawke · 1 year ago
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🎵
Ain’t nothing come easy No, nothing comes quick It’s gonna hurt like hell to become well But if we set the bone straight It’ll mend It’ll fix And we’ll be well
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moonlarked · 2 years ago
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Theseus by The Oh Hellos is such a kotlc song.
“At the edges of my fingers
Never quite closing round it
Oh, that peace like a river
Always going, but never getting
Seems like maybe it's not all that much a place
As it is a way
And ways don't ever seem to want to
Stay too still for too long
Isn't that what it's all about?
The slow trickling thaw that sets the banks in half
The sweet melody it makes when the canyons crack
I wanna give it all I've got, and I want nothing
I want nothing back
Whatever kingdom come, it probably won't come quick
No mighty clarion to announce it
No single use ark to discard in an instant
Like Theseus's ship, we'll fix the busted bits
'Til it's both nothing like and everything
It's always been
It's a wonder we expect a thing to
Stay the same at all
Maybe that's what it's all about
We keep fixing what we know is only bound to break
What's worth saving is never worth letting go to waste
I want to mend what I've got, instead of throwing away
Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
It's gonna hurt like hell to become well
But if we set the bone straight
It'll mend
It'll fix
And we'll be well
Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
But I want for you this, that you are well
I want for us this, that we are well
We are well, we are well
We are well, we are well
We are well”
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salthien · 2 years ago
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okay I had two songs that are basically lyric-less come up before one that actually had words, so I'll put them here for posterity:
And then when Spotify DID give me a song with lyrics it was Theseus - The Oh Hellos and I knew which were my favorites immediately, because part of this is a title for a fanmix of a beloved OC of mine.
ain’t nothing come easy no, nothing comes quick it’s gonna hurt like hell to become well but if we set the bone straight it’ll mend it’ll fix and we’ll be well
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7-ratsinatrenchcoat · 2 years ago
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I posted 547 times in 2022
That's 547 more posts than 2021!
94 posts created (17%)
453 posts reblogged (83%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@zorria
@darkelf-7
@journeysfable
@princeliones
@thedarkreunion8718
I tagged 297 of my posts in 2022
Only 46% of my posts had no tags
#seven deadly sins - 99 posts
#nanatsu no taizai - 98 posts
#nnt - 87 posts
#meliodas - 60 posts
#lmao - 38 posts
#art - 32 posts
#four knights of the apocalypse - 32 posts
#zeldris - 30 posts
#look at him go - 28 posts
#shitpost - 23 posts
Longest Tag: 123 characters
#it's the melted fuel that leaked into the chernobyl basement and everyone thought it was going to melt into the groundwater
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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MAYBE THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT WE KEEP FIXING WHAT WE KNOW IS ONLY BOUND TO BREAK WHAT'S WORTH SAVING IS NEVER WORTH LETTING GO TO WASTE I WANT TO MEND WHAT I'VE GOT INSTEAD OF THROWING AWAY
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AINT NOTHING COME EASY AINT NOTHING COME QUICK IT'S GONNA HURT LIKE HELL TO BECOME WELL BUT IF WE SET THE BONE STRAIGHT IT'LL MEND IT'LL FIX AND WE'LL BE WELL
56 notes - Posted October 16, 2022
#4
me: is this real or a dream sequence
howl's moving castle: fuck you
60 notes - Posted December 7, 2022
#3
to summarize Tristan and Zeldris' relationship:
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66 notes - Posted November 10, 2022
#2
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I don't want to know who I am (cause heaven only knows what I'll find)
Digital, 10 layers. 11/11/22
98 notes - Posted November 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
the demon king has NOTHING on Meliodas' pants during hard fights
his shirts? weak asf. his pants from waist to knee? impenetrable.
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that belt is made of fucking steel
137 notes - Posted October 20, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago
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Murder, He Wrote
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Part 7
Summary: Ransom makes good on his promise and your parents arrive for dinner. But then, you discover something that brings your entire world shattering down around you once more…
Warnings: Bad language words. MATURE (NSFW 18+) NON-CON situation, kidnap and violence. DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THOSE TRIGGER… READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
Pairing: DARK! Ransom Drysdale x Reader
A/N:  So here it is, the last chapter to this series! I can’t believe all this spun from @jtargaryen18​‘s Halloween challenge last year, and here we are 6 months later! Of course, I’d love to thank my writing partner from the earlier chapters, but sadly she’s no longer on Tumblr. Without her none of this would have been possible. I love you SG wherever you are. Thank you to everyone who has read and engaged so far and I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing. The Epilogue will follow next week and trust me, you do NOT want to miss that!!
In this, the reader has a sister, however feel free to interpret the Y/S/N element as sibling instead, if that appeals to you.
Word Count: 8.5k (I’m sorry I don’t do short fics, really I am!!)
READ THE WARNINGS!!!! This is a DARK Series… don’t @ me if you can’t follow simple instructions and end up with butt-hurt. And if you’re under 18…get off my blog.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and by writing it does NOT mean I agree with or condone the acts contained within. This fiction is classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Murder, He Wrote Masterlist // Main Masterlist.
Part 6
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 “Will you relax?” Ransom drawled from where he sat, sprawled back on the sofa in the main lounge of the house, his denim clad legs crossed at the ankles, his black cashmere sweater torso melting against the cushions. “It’s just your parents, what’s the big deal?” You weighed your reply but instead smiled, he couldn't possibly understand. He wouldn't. "Let me just have this moment, please." He looked at you, his eyebrow arched before he scoffed, “whatever, Sweetheart. But if you’re gonna keep pacing up and down, can you do it in the hallway? The wood flooring is a lot more hardwearing.” With a roll of your eyes you left the lounge, wringing your hands together. This was the first time in months you'd be seeing your parents and it wasn't lost on you the charade you'd have to keep up despite wanting to somehow plea for a rescue. It was also worrying how they were going to react. Especially following the call you’d made a week or so ago, just before New Year’s Eve.
When you’d dialled the number you knew off by heart, your mother had answered. And upon hearing your voice she had shrieked and then the line had gone quiet until your father had spoken your name with a trembling voice. You’d been unable to answer straight away, your own voice catching, before a sob had burst from your throat and the tears had poured down your face. You’d managed a few, choked words of apologies until Ransom had pushed himself up from the seat he had been perched in, silently observing. He curled his arm over your shoulder, giving you a squeeze as you composed yourself. Eventually, you’d managed to calm yourself down and thankfully your dad hadn’t asked too many questions but had accepted your invite to dinner.
And now, here you were, nervously awaiting their arrival.
It wasn’t lost on you that, in their eyes, the fact you had cut them off was your decision, not forced on you by the man you were now sharing a bed with. And that was your other worry, you had no idea how he was going to behave. If Ransom showed your family the same contempt he displayed to his own, your dad wasn’t the type of man who would stand for it. And then what? But you had zero time to think on it as the doorbell rang. Your heart leapt to your throat and your stomach turned acidic. Ransom poked his head out of the lounge and looked at you expectantly, like you were to answer. Adjusting your sweater dress for the millionth time, you walked to the front door and reached for the knob with a shaky hand. You steeled your nerves and blinked hard to dissipate the tears, and opened the door. For the first time in months you looked back into the familiar eyes of your parents. Your mom’s face was pinched, as if she was chewing the inside of her cheeks and as you glanced to your dad you already noticed the daggers he was shooting at the man behind you. To anyone else it would be enough to make them quake in their shoes, but not Ransom. “Mom, Dad.” Your voice sounded alien as you spoke quietly, your fingers grabbing at the bottom of your sleeves as one of Ransom’s hands curled over your shoulder. "Y/N," your dad replied, and the awkwardness officially set in.
"Aren't you going to invite them in, Sweetheart?" Ransom's voice made you jump a bit.
"Yes, please, come in," you stepped aside for them to enter. "Welcome to, erm, our home."
Calling it that felt all sorts of wrong, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Besides, it wasn’t like you could call it what it was, your prison. Your father stepped inside followed by your mother, the foyer now feeling a little crowded. Your mother was quick to pull you in for a hug. But it was brief and not the way she used to hug you, no, this hug felt like it came from a stranger. Your dad’s embrace, however, was everything you remembered. Safety, strength and love and you felt yourself melt into his arms, choking back a sob as you pressed your face into his chest. "We appreciate you coming to dinner," Ransom spoke, breaking the embrace you shared with your father. "It's nice to finally meet you both. I'm Ransom." Your dad looked at you as you nodded, wiping the tears from your eyes as he looked to Ransom. “We know who you are. With the news, the papers and Y/N's article, we've probably become more acquainted than you're aware.” He spoke calmly but cooly, gripping Ransom’s outstretched hand with a less than friendly shake, one that would make a lesser man wince. Instead, you saw what you thought was a flicker of amusement on Ransom's face before your dad released his hand and you introduced your mother. She didn’t offer her hand. Instead she gave a sniff and took a deep breath, getting straight to the point as she always did. “Well, this is all very nice and everything but what the hell do you think you’re playing at, Y/N? You disappeared with no trace, we thought you were dead, and then we find out you're not. Instead you’re, with him, choosing not to contact us or speak to us? Forgive me for the brash and abrupt approach, but before we sit down for dinner, we deserve some answers.” Her voice gathered pace and volume as she continued to rail at you, telling you how worried and sick the entire family had been, how thanksgiving and Christmas without you had been awful and whatever else she had on her mind as she spewed her words at you, her face an eyes blazing with anger. You felt sick, never had you meant for any of this to happen, clearly. And you'd secretly hoped Ransom would have seen the devastation he'd caused by his actions, however you knew that was an ill-fated hope just as well. You struggled to speak, the words jumbling around in your head and your mouth bone dry. "I'm so sorry," Ransom sighed. "Why don't we come into the lounge and have a drink or two and we can talk all about it? I know that Y/N was looking forward to your visit and clearing the air."
He looked at you as he ushered towards the lounge, a hidden smugness to his face that only you could detect. He thought he'd just played the hero, the prince saving his distressed princess. “Good idea,” your dad nodded, his hand gently on the base of your mother’s spine, “come on, Honey.” “Straight down, second on your right.” Ransom informed as your parents headed off a little ahead of you.
“Now, remember, what you tell them has to match what you said to Blanc.” Ransom took your hand in his and spoke quietly as you both began to follow your parents. “I. Know.” You grit though your teeth and jerked your hand free of his. He stopped dead and turned to face you, and for the first time ever you saw something akin to fear on his face, you were resisting that much anger. “Y/N...” he started but you shook your head. “You have no idea how much you’ve hurt them or me do you? That or you simply still don’t care.” You hissed before you took a deep breath and drew yourself up tall. “But, we’ll just go in there, spin a load of more lies and that’s it, all done isn’t it?” He blinked before his jaw set and he shook his head. “I’m warning you...” “What else is new?” You sighed. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything and I’ll still be here when they leave.” You stepped a pace or two in front of him and entered the lounge. Your parents were sitting on the couch you'd become very familiar with while Ransom moved straight for the drink cart. "Mr. Y/L/N, can I interest you in a top shelf scotch?" "Mom," you said softly as the conversation between your dad and Ransom faded out, "Ransom and I have a great white wine if you'd like or..." "Scotch is fine," she interrupted you, a stone cold look to her disappointed face. Ransom served the drinks, handing you your preferred wine with a kiss to your head. You watched how your parents interacted with him, the way your father watched every calculated step, the way your mother shot daggers in the two of you as you sat opposite them on the love seat. You leaned forward so as to move a bit away from Ransom, however, he was quick to put his arm over the back of the love seat, his hand able to still touch you. “So, erm, how’s....” “Your sister? Nanna? Granddad? Who would you like to start with?” Your mom took a sip of her drink and you dropped your eyes, your gaze focussed on your hands as they rubbed together. 
"I'm sorry, okay?” You stuttered, shaking your head. “I know you’re angry and upset and you have every right to be but... I didn’t do any of this on purpose.” “That detective man, Blanc, and the police... they said you didn’t want us to know where you were...” “I didn’t.” You choked on the lie a little. “My head was a mess and...” you sniffed as you felt Ransom’s fingers graze the skin on the back of your neck as you looked at your mom. “Mom, please, please don't make tonight continue with vicious jabs and vile glares. I'm sorry, to you, to everyone. I was...." you stopped and centred yourself. "I was lost and I didn't know what to do." "Why don't we just get this out of the way then maybe we can move on with our evening?" Ransom suggested and your father nodded in shocking agreement. "Let's let her explain, Dear. She said she made a mistake and there were good reasons she couldn't come to us, I'm sure. Let's just hear her out." Your father was always the more sensible one. You mother took a shaky breath and looked at you and you swallowed before you started to talk, the lie you had rehearsed in your head slipping from your lips. “I erm, I was having a bit of trouble at work and everything just got too much and... well, I don’t know what happened, a breakdown or whatever,” you took a deep breath, “I just needed to get away, from everything.” “Including us?” Your mom asked and you shook your head. “I wasn’t thinking straight, I just...” "You know, it doesn’t matter what you say to explain because frankly, I won't understand but I do hope that you never have to experience what we went through. Ever." She deadpanned. "I do believe that is my fault, Mrs. Y/L/N. I encouraged her approach and didn't discourage the fact that she wasn't contacting you or anyone she was close with." Ransom sighed, feigning concern for your parents.
You knew what he was doing, the Master Manipulator was coming out in him and you knew there was no going back, no. It was as if Ransom said 'challenge accepted' in winning your parents over. Just, so you assumed, the night would end and you'd be happy in his arms and they'd never think twice about your brief disappearance again. “We hadn’t been seeing each other that long, and my reputation isn’t the greatest. But I should have put my own concerns aside and seen that the way we were going about things was wrong and I should have insisted she reached out. You see, me and my family aren’t close and I sometimes forget that we’re the ones that aren’t normal.” "We hadn't known she was seeing anyone," your mum stated. She was out with her claws, not going to let Ransom nor you off so easily.
"Well, I'm not like Y/S/N, Mom. I don't just bring home whomever I'm taking to bed that month." You'd said it before you could stop it. Never had you said something like that before about your sister, nor spoken to your mother like that. And you didn't miss the twitch of a smirk to the corner of Ransom's lips, telling you he was a bit proud. Surely, you didn't want him to be rubbing off on you in that way. "I'm sorry, that wasn't how I meant it. I just knew I had to be more careful in sharing everything. Like he said, he's not got the best rap, but, after my interview on him, well I guess I just found him intriguing and-“ “Ah, yes," your father now spoke up, cutting you off, “the smear and redact. Believe me, Ransom, we're very familiar with your reputation and our daughter's initial thoughts on you. Which is why you can see how we were a little surprised, once the initial shock of her supposed death wore off, that the two of you were... together." “I understand.” Ransom nodded. “And I would feel the same in your shoes. But, well, I guess after the interview things just kind of spiralled from there. I don’t really know how it happened myself, to be honest, I’m just glad it did.” As if he was sealing the deal, he leaned toward you and pressed his lips to your temple. You sighed and gave him a smile. This bastard was smug enough to start shifting the tone in the room with a metaphorical snap of his fucking fingers and you watched it work on your parents. The ice slowly melting away, the glacial peak softening around your mother. And then the metaphorical snap became a real one as he moved his arm from round you, clicked the fingers of both hands and then slapped his left palm with the underside of his right fist with a flourish as he flashed a smile round the room. “Okay, so....who’s hungry?”
Your parents both raised their eyebrows and as your mom looked at your dad, you saw him shake his head ever so slightly and she took a deep breath, before she turned back to Ransom and you, a small smile on her face. “Dinner sounds great.” "Sweetheart, after you," Ransom politely shifted to the side so you could rise and lead the way. He turned back to your parents, "we wanted to make sure we were able to spend as much time together without the chore of preparing and cleaning up after so we had dinner brought in. Y/N had it all set just before you arrived." You shot him a glare as you moved by him, your mother and father behind you, Ransom pulling up the rear. Sure enough, still warm and catered were four place settings at the table in the large dining room across and down a bit from the lounge. Your parents sat down across the table from where you and Ransom stood, silver dome lids obscuring your eyeline as you sat. Oddly, you'd never eaten in the dining room before. It was your room in the basement, the kitchen table or the coffee table in the lounge. Red wine and cutlery were already set along with water. Your parents and Ransom set their scotch glasses near the wine. Your dad arched an eyebrow at the ostentatious nature of it all and you caught his gaze as he gave you a kneeling smirk. With a laugh, you realized that someone should at least remove the lids, and since you were the host, you rose from your chair and bent over the table a little, reaching for the knobs of their domes. You stacked them together and sat back down, pulling yours and Ransom's as you went.
As you settled down to eat, your parents both complimented the food before a little silence fell as you all ate, the occasional clanking of cutlery against the porcelain plates ringing out across the large room. Ransom made a few comments here and there about the food from the company you’d ordered from being good, as usual, your parents agreeing before a light conversation struck up about the holidays and various other mundane topics, all as if you were close and the conversation prior hadn't happened. Like it was a regular Sunday family dinner. All the time, you spotted your parents growing more and more comfortable with the situation, and you felt yourself relax a little, hoping and praying that things would keep amicable.
And then, after another spell of silence you heard your mother clear her throat. "So, Ransom, what is you do? I never gathered that from…well, from…” she trailed off and Ransom took a dep breath. “To be honest with you, Mrs. Y/L/N, not a great deal until recently. Just another way Y/N managed to help me change my life around." He looked at you with appreciation. "She made me see that living my life riding off people’s coat tails wasn’t really anything to be proud of.” He paused to take a sip of his scotch before he cut another piece of his steak. “Now I’m writing. I have a couple of things on the go and a few from my grandfather that he never finished so, hopefully, they’ll take off.” This bastard! You could not believe the bullshit that so easily sprang from his mouth. It was fascinating and yet absolutely disgusting at once. You found yourself convinced, and not for the first time, that he actually believed the shit he talked. "What's your book about, if you don’t mind me asking?" You father queried, after swallowing down his steak with his wine, saving his scotch for after. “Not at all,” Ransom swallowed his food. “Another area I’ve taken inspiration from, it’s based on a private detective.” He gave a chuckle. “I’ll be handing out a lot of royalties and dedications at this rate.” "Just a private detective?" You pressed, having wondered yourself as he'd told you once before you were an inspiration. He looked at you, smirking a little. “I’ve told you, Princess, I’ll let you read it when the first draft is done.”
Your father eyed you as Ransom spoke of pet names and inspirations. Your eyes flitted away from his gaze, entertaining Ransom's portion of the conversation but you found them quickly fluttering back to those kind eyes that matched yours. At that point, your dad shot you a sweet father-like wink before clearing his throat and speaking.  "So, let's not beat around the obvious, this is awkward." He paused to emphasize his point. "I'll just come right out with it. What could your future intentions be with my daughter?"
"Jesus Christ, Dad!" You surely hadn't seen that coming.  Ransom blinked a little before he cleared his throat. “I’ll keep her as long as I can, Sir.”
At that, his hand curled over your knee, giving a gentle squeeze and you took a deep breath, drawing your back up straight as his hand gently started to trail further up towards your thigh, fingers still hot on your skin through the layer of your thick tights. You cleared your throat, and moved a little, and Ransom removed his hand, a smirk blatantly evident on his face.
“Good to know.” Your dad reached for his wine again, a teasing smile on his face. “I mean the lease has gone on her apartment now and we turned her room into a gym the moment she moved out.”
“Oh purlease!” Your mom scoffed, “a gym. By that he means he has a rowing machine and a bunch of weights that serve as nothing more than expensive door stops.”
At that Ransom gave a full belly laugh, his head tipping back with just the right amount of humour. Not too much to appear fake, but enough to seem like the exchange had genuinely amused him. He almost had you fooled too.
Bastard.
The rest of the dinner past with fairly amicable chat, the ice well and truly broken. Ransom and your father struck up a pleasant conversation about football and then baseball, Ransom confessing that he hadn’t been following either sport much recently but also nodding when your dad suggested that perhaps they could catch a game sometime soon, in a bar. At that you had smirked into your glass, as you knew the thought of going to a place surrounded by a load of loud, drunken members of the public would be Ransom’s idea of hell. The idea that he might just have to follow through on your promise amused you, a lot.
Eventually, your parents both announced that they should be going, and the warmth and happiness that had descended on you began to slowly seep away as you hugged them both good bye. As they headed down to their car, you stifled down a sob as you waved them away, realising you had no idea when you’d be seeing them again. That was on Ransom, for him to decide when and if you deserved it.
But, you’d played his game. You’d behaved. He said he wanted you to trust him, to be content with him. Surely, he would realise that this was the happiest you’d been since he snatched you, and if you continued to behave then he would have no reason to keep you from seeing them for so long again.
With a sigh you turn away from the door and step back inside, Ransom just behind you. You stopped and waited for him to close the door and lock it. He gave you a little twitch of a smile. 
“Well, that wasn’t as painful as I expected.”
You rolled your eyes.
"You were great, Sweetheart."
"Yeah, well, you won them over. I doubt they suspected anything by the time they left." Your words didn't cut him, they cut you. You cleared your throat and shook your head, "anyway, I'm going to go clean up. I'll meet you upstairs."
"What, no 'thank you'?" He piqued.
You turned back to him, "Thank you, Ransom. For allowing my parents to come over."
“That wouldn’t be sarcasm, now would it?” He arched a brow, his arms folding across his chest.
"Oh, no, not at all," you overly pouted, stepping up to him, running your hands over his chest to seal your own sarcastic ploy.
His hands were quick to grab your wrists and oddly there was an air of excitement to your eyes.
“What on earth is there to possibly be sarcastic about?” You continued and he scoffed.
“It’s a good thing I kinda like your sass.”
You simply quirk your eyebrows and give a small shrug before attempting to turn away. However, Ransom still had a hold of your wrists and he kept you rooted near by.
“Ransom, what...”
“Leave the dishes, the maid comes tomorrow. I pay her enough, she can deal with it.”
You scoffed, “you’re such an asshole.”
"Come to bed with me," he asked more than suggested.
Since your little tryst in his precious car a week ago, he'd been far more touchy-feely, needy even. And in your eyes, Ransom Drysdale didn't do needy. However, this neediness served a purpose. You were able to keep him soft in all but one place, manipulating his needs for your own.
“You want me to come to bed with you?” You playfully quipped, cocking your head to one side.
“You want me to beg or something, Y/N?” His voice lowered as he narrowed his eyes. “Because I can make it a demand not a request.”
“Not beg, no.” You ignored his threat. “But a please wouldn’t go amiss.”
His controlling hands moved your arms around his neck before they fell away to your waist. His forehead bent into yours and his nose brushed against the tip of your own. "Please, come to bed with me, baby," he whispered against you.
You were smirking inside as his lips met yours in a deep kiss, his tongue gently flicking through your lips and sliding against yours. 
“Since you asked so nicely.”
It was a quick swoop, one that completely caught you off guard as he pulled you off your feet, his arm around your back while the other was hooked under your legs. His lips were on yours as he carried you to the staircase, not ever missing a beat or step, his tongue gliding over yours as he walked.
You didn't know how the two of you had made it up to your bedroom, and without incident but, the next thing you knew, you were led flat over your bed, his body caging you in.
“You said I did well.” You looked at him and he blinked, his brow furrowing a little. “How well?”
Silently as you waited, hoping he would take the bait.
And he did.
“Very well.” his eyes searched yours and you bit your lip.
“Well enough for me to see them again?”
"If you want, maybe lunch with your mother," he answered, kissing over your jaw and down your neck between each phrase.
You stilled, shock hitting your system and just how easily he had offered that up, you hadn’t even had to try. Noticing your change in body language Ransom paused and looked at you. “What? Don’t you want to?”
“No, I mean yes, of course I do. I just wasn’t expecting you to say that. I mean...” you stopped yourself short of saying what you had been about to, that you were his damned prisoner and until a week or so ago hadn’t left the grounds at all in months. You swallowed as Ransom sighed.
"Trust, remember, baby," he leaned back on his knees between your legs. "Call her in a couple of days, set up lunch."
“And you trust me to do that?” You swallowed. “No stupid tricks or mind games?”
"I won't be far behind." There it was, the stipulation. That silent warning heeding a tone left unsaid. “That said, I’m kinda hoping we’re past the point of me having to remind you about certain things to make you come back.”
"I understand."
Ransom shook his head, licking his lips. “No, I don’t think you do.” 
There was a tone of sadness almost to his voice and you watched him, his eyes locked onto yours and then you understood.
This went right back to the core of all this. He wanted you to want to come back. Not to simply do it because you have to. It was the ever present chink in his armour, the one thing you’d been able to exploit.
And, if you were being totally honest, could more than likely learn to live with the situation if you could have some kind of grasp and control, because that’s what this was about. That ever present power struggle and desperation he has within him to be more than people simply assumed him to be.
In a twisted way, you were almost proud to see the difference in his behaviour over the last few months was insurmountable. Whether that was directly down to you or not, you couldn’t be sure, but something had made him tap into that part of himself that could show reasonableness, rationality and, dare you suggest it, compassion.
Whilst you knew you’d never forget how he had taken you, against your will, or the pain and violence he had inflicted upon your body, maybe, in time, you could forgive. 
Because he simply hadn’t known any better.
"I'm not going anywhere," you spoke softly, sitting up to caress his cheek. His evening stubble scratched at your palm.
His eyes squinted shut, holding back an emotional response to her promise. There was so much he wanted to say but he couldn't. He physically could not bring the words out from his throat. So he did what he had always done, or thought he could, and that was to show her. Show her what he wanted to say. His lips pressed into the palm of her hand and as her fingers rubbed along his ear and behind his head, his lips travelled the length of the soft skin of her forearm until he pressed a delicate kiss to the crook of her elbow.
Turning his head, he caught her lips in a soft kiss which grew deeper as he pressed his body into hers, grinding his hardness against her groin. He felt the exhale from her nose against his cheek as his tongue muted the groan from her throat. His free hand skated up her thigh, to the hem of her sweater dress, bunching it in his fist. At that point, her hand gently wrapped around his wrist and he stopped, pulling away to look at her, his brow creased in puzzlement.
“Let me.” She whispered.
He swallowed hard and gave a short nod. She sat up and he leant back as she did, her hand against his chest, guiding him how she wanted him. As her hands fiddled with his flies, his eyes never left hers. When she tugged on the waistband of his jeans, he raised his hips slightly to allow her to pull them down, taking his boxers with them and he gave a slight sigh at the relief his rock hard dick was now free from it’s constraints.
“Feel good?” She smirked at the sound he made.
He nodded, “yes”, his voice gruff and gravelly.
No sooner had she said it, she’d taken him in her mouth. Instinctively, he bucked upwards, his hands settling in her hair, head falling back against the pillow as he hissed.
When his hips rutted upwards a second time, she moved back, releasing him with a pop and he glanced down at her, his face full of frustration but she simply smirked at him.
“Stop moving." 
The control of the situation wasn't his, it was hers and he was fully aware of it as she changed her pace, quick-quick-slow and if he squirmed she stopped.
A roll of his balls between her hand made him shudder. “Jesus Christ,” he groaned, “fuck, Y/N!”
She responded by taking him to the back of her throat, and the noise that came from his was halfway between a growl and a whimper as it stumbled from his mouth.
On and on this went, and every time she brought him to the edge and he couldn’t control his movements she stopped. It was a delicious torture, but one he was fast reaching his limit with.
“Fuck, baby, I…” his hands raked through her hair as she bobbed up and down on his shaft, her tongue pressing against the thick vein on the underside of his cock. He moaned loudly, “I gotta…”
"No," she purred, kitten licking the slit in his head, the precum dripping onto her tongue. Her lips enclosed over him again, short bobs until she was making long strides at deep throating him. 
She squealed as his hands tightened around her hair, squeezing at the strands to pull her back but she kept her pace, his hips giving way to a violent thrust to the back of her throat as he came hard, his spend shooting deep, coating her inside. His chest heaved as he came down from his high, not letting up on his grip until he was done trembling in euphoria. 
Then in a beat he flipped her to her back and hand his hands over the waistband of her tights, "that wasn't smart, Sweetheart," he growled. 
His eyes flashed in challenge as she giggled and whispered, "I thought it was." 
The force of him tearing her tights as he pulled them away from her legs bothered neither of them, her thin panties soaked and leaving a wet trail down her leg as he removed them, had him salivating. 
"You think it's funny? I'm gonna see how you like it," he challenged. 
Ransom wasted no time in taking a fast swipe at her leaking cunt with his tongue and Y/N cried out as he flicked the tip of his tongue over her swollen and throbbing clit. Her hands went straight to his hair, her knees practically boxing his ears as she curled her body towards his ample assault. 
His long arm slid up her body, over her tummy between her beasts as his splayed his fingers open across her skin, trying to press her back into the mattress. As she complied, she gave a gripping tug to his longer locks and Ransom emitted an elicit growl against her pussy. 
"Jesus Christ," she cried out, the sound sweet in his ears. 
"You taste so fucking good, baby," he spoke against just above her mounded flesh, whilst his fingers sought a wet refuge. He wasted no time in sliding two in, middle and ring fingers, slipping in a first, then second knuckle deep then scissoring inside her until they were all the way in. 
His lips curled around her clit as hers had done to his head, humming over the bud of pleasure, a pressure she nearly exploded over. 
"Oh, no, you don't get to do that yet," he stated firmly. The command made her twitch under him, her breath audibly hitching in her chest. "You're gonna cum on my cock as I fill that pussy up."
"Fuck, Ransom, please," she begged. 
"It's not funny now is it?" He slipped away from her body, sitting back on his heels and removed his own sweater. "Get naked, Princess."
He watched as she struggled to strip of the heavy sweater dress she wore, a stark difference to the fearful prize he had to himself months ago. Now she was his and he loved every single moment of it. From her sassy, smart mouth to the way she took his dick on demand. Ransom slipped his pants away, the two of them both naked and awaiting what was next. He wanted to flip her onto her tummy, rail her from behind while she took it on her hands and knees, keening at him as he thrust into her. 
But instead, he spread her legs wide and slotted his thick cock between her legs, her ankles locking around his narrow hips as he thrust in and gave a naughty twist of his hips. Slow, deep, nasty ruts into her core bounced her tits just a little and he found the wanton cries of her need to be enticing enough to lap at her nipples and breasts, licking and nipping at her skin. Grinding into her as he licked and kissed his way up her neck to that spot that made her cave in at the base of her jaw, jointed just below her ear. 
Her hands wound their way into his hair again and she gripped the strands, giving a pull back, restraining his neck a bit before she let up, allowing his head to drop a pinch. 
Chills covered his sweat sheened skin as she whispered, "harder" into his ear. His body quivered and his stomach fluttered. 
"Fuck, yes." He pulled out and flipped her to her tummy, like he'd wanted to do before. "On your knees, baby. Let me see that pussy."
She positioned like he demanded, a little sway of her hips telling him she was ready. A swift spank to her rounded ass and she cried out as he slammed home. 
"Oh, baby," she mewled as he filled her from behind, bruising fingertips pressing into her hips. 
Her lips praising him, using his nickname for her on him ignited a fire in his belly, his hips snapping harshly against her, his balls slapping against her clit. But it wasn't his pace and the pressure building in his body that was causing him to bury deep inside her, his head rubbing that g-spot that was making her moan filthy words. No, it was the look she gave as she turned her head to just peer over her should the same minute he was throbbing to cum inside her. 
"I'm...fuck, fucking cum, baby girl," he whimpered, desperately holding back so she could cream over his cock. 
And cum she did, her pulsating walls gripping him in a tight squeeze as she pulled him in with a force, literally crying out his name as she came. Her body practically convulsing in pleasure as he filled her up with his seed. The two of them collapsing against the expensive sheets, his body led over hers, still sheathed inside her as they both sagged and panted. 
As if high on the throws of their ecstasy, Ransom kissed along her back with heavy lips and hooded eyes. He could taste the saltiness of her skin, the dampness of sweet sweat a leaving a wet coating over his lips. And when he could feel the blood return to his extremities, he ever so gently pulled out of her, his body sore and tired. She whined at the feeling of his weight escaping her body, but he was quick to fill that void, replacing it with the heat of his frame as he pulled her close, allowing her head to rest against his bare and sculpted chest. He pressed his lips onto the crown of her head. 
"Sleep, baby," he whispered. "Just relax and sleep."
***** For weeks things were good, maybe even really good. Ransom was giving you more freedom, not yet unattended, but you weren't locked away. He'd made do on his promise. 
You had a great lunch with your mother, at the Country Club, in which he'd set up. He'd driven you there, waited in the bar but could easily keep an eye on you. Whilst he might have had ulterior motives that were slightly more sinister than merely being there to keep an eye on you in case you had a panic attack (the excuse you gave to your mother), all in all you didn’t mind. You, too, didn't doubt he paid the waiter a hefty tip to stay nearby as he'd checked on your table more often than most or necessary, again, you didn't mind. 
But despite his hovering, a point you'd made when you'd returned, he promised he trusted you so to save the pains of an argument, you let it go. You'd kept your own promise, never to drop a hint to your mother or anyone else that you weren't less than a free woman.
As the days neared Valentine's Day, Ransom seemed to be more touchy than usual and more than once you'd caught him softly staring at you. His eyes conveying more emotion than they did. Not unlike the first few nights when things had drastically changed between you in November. And when the day arrived, you both exchanged gifts after an early morning wakeup call that you most certainly did not mind. Ransom seemed genuinely pleased with the new silk scarf you’d ordered, having thought it would be a nice replacement for the one he had left at the mansion and point blank refused to return to collect.
For your gift, he handed you a small white envelope. Giving him a puzzled look, you opened it and pulled out a small card.
‘In our favourite room you'll find, your gift my beautiful Valentine.’
Instantly you felt an uncomfortable cold feeling in the pit of your stomach and you swallowed a little. It was a clue, exactly like the ones he had set for you all that time ago on Halloween the previous year. But, as you blinked and looked at him, you saw the expectation on his face and had to remind yourself that this was different.
This was not the same man.
"Is it at least wrapped in a bow, so I know it's mine?" You asked and he smirked a little, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.
 "Trust me, you'll know when you see it."
With a final look at him, you climbed out of bed and pulled on your silk slip before you headed down the stairs. As soon as you’d read the clue, you knew he meant the study. But, when you opened the door, you started to wonder if you’d made a mistake as there was nothing there jumping out at you, at all.
You started rummaging through the stack of things on the desk, looking for anything that resembled a gift. In your haste, you accidentally knocked small stack of notebooks over the edge of the desk. You rushed to get them and straighten them up, hoping not to mess up the order of things he'd had piled together. The moment the leather-bound journal like book touched your fingers, a jolt of curiosity ran through you. 
You opened the cover and ran your fingertips over the dried ink that sat engraved on the pages, a bold and all capitalized print to the handwriting. Not a surprise from a man who's harsh overture played constantly on the surface. Your eyes scanned and scanned the scroll, a frown creased your brow as you registered the meaning of all his notes.
These weren't just any sort of notes, these were his footnotes for his book. And that now disorganized stack of papers that moments ago littered the floor, you looked at them again and realized there among the typed and printed pieces of paper, was his manuscript. 
Hesitating, you picked it up. The front page was plain bar the words. ‘Murder, He Wrote’ and you scoffed at the fact that was the title of the article that had gotten you into this situation in the first place. Mind you, he had said you were a muse of sorts so maybe that was his way of tribute.
You flipped through, skimming the pages, finding yourself strangely proud if you will, that he’d actually finished it, well what appeared to be the first draft anyway. It was indeed about a private detective, by the name of Arnie Bronze, who was hot on the tale of a missing woman called Lucy Roberts who had vanished in mysterious circumstances.
You skipped on a few pages, the narrative shifted to that of focussing on the so called killer, a man named Riley, and you realised that Lucy wasn’t dead as anticipated, she was being held captive. 
In Riley’s basement.
You felt your stomach clench as you focussed in on a small snippet of dialogue, one that was extremely familiar.
 ‘I like this,’ Riley toyed with the straps to the bra Lucy was wearing, his middle finger tracing the outline of the strap against her skin before his lips followed the same path.
‘You should, you chose it,’ her voice was quiet, but still there it was, that unmistakable undercurrent of disdain she carried for him visibly present, as always.
Riley merely chuckled, ‘like I chose you, huh.’ At that, she blinked and looked at him, and he flashed her a smile. Oh, if only she understood exactly why…
What. The. Fuck?
Was he writing about you? Or had he already written this and was merely acting out his sick fucking fantasy. The answer to that became apparent when you tossed the manuscript down and reached for his book of notes.
It was littered with note after note, graphic accounts of the things he’d done to you, along with little questions and observations, how he could turn that into passages for his book. Your breath began to quicken and you turned the pages faster and faster, not needing to read his notes in the slightest as you could remember every sordid little detail for yourself.
Eventually you found the last page. This one contained two simple lines, the first from the night of Harlan’s memorial when he’d arrived home completely soaked.
Memorial was a shit show, as anything is when the fucking Thrombey’s are involved. Y/N made hot chocolate. Held a conversation I actually enjoyed.
This contained no side note as to how this could be used within his book, almost as if it was simply a journal entry, but you didn’t really have time to dwell on that, as your eyes flicked to the line underneath which carried no date.
Original plan changed, no longer going to get rid of when purpose served. Storyline of book will diverge at this point.
'When purpose served'. Well, it didn’t take a genius to work that out.
You threw the book down onto the desk, the room swimming around you as both your hands covered your mouth in shock and horror. You were sick to your stomach, the bile acid in your stomach turning acrid, and you wanted to wretch. 
He’d meant to kill you.
“So, do you like my gift?”
The voice made you scream and you jumped, turning to face the doorway where Ransom was stood, his sweats hung low on his hips, arms folded over his bare chest as he leaned against the frame.
“What?” you blinked, swallowing, the word nothing more than a trembling whisper. “You mean you wanted me to find this?”
“You asked me about being my muse.” He shrugged. “As you can see, you were much more than that. Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart.”
You couldn't hold back the gag in your throat and you quickly turned into the waste bin by the desk, spewing your empty stomach into it. The bile burned your throat as it came up. With a shaky back of your hand, you wiped away the remnants of your episode and leaned forward on the desk, your free hand palm flat against the mahogany.
You were disgusted, that much was painfully true, but you were now terribly afraid for your life. A feeling that hadn't come over you in four months. You felt just as you had that very night, terrified, alone, and fighting a sense of chill that crept through your body and deep into your bones. Your eyes, big and brimming with tears looked up at him and your mind went numb in processing the situation. No quicker than you had just vomited, you felt a pang of hurt, your heart ripping from your chest as everything settled within you. You had accepted this, this fate that had been laid out for you. You were accepting him and the life you were being forced to live. You accepted the beast that had begun to care. But he was merely a wolf in sheep's clothing, the true monster you'd always known to lie in wait just under the surface. 
Your brows creased and your heart raced. You felt the bubbling of a scream start deep in your churning belly, your own monster vying to climb its up your chest and out of your throat. You were angrily screaming on the inside long before your voice sounded to the outside, piercing the room in a shattering, blood-curdling banshee cry of anger. 
“This…” you picked up the notebook in your right hand, throwing it at him violently, “this is the reason you took me?”
“Yes.” He didn't even dodge the thickly bound object as it hit him square in the chest before falling to the ground. 
“You...fucking asshole.” You spat, angrily swiping your arm across the desk. The neatly stacked piles of papers scattered like leaves falling from a tree as they fluttered to the floor. “And to think, I actually started to believe myself that there was more to you than everyone said, that underneath all of that bravado and narcissistic, downright nasty bastard exterior there was something or someone that maybe, just maybe was worthy of caring for! ” Your voice was loud, echoing off the wall of his study as you screamed at him. “But you kidnapped and raped and hurt me in ways I never thought possible for what? So you could write a goddamned book?”
Hot tears coursed down your face as you trembled, staring back at the utter monster who stood before you, his face stony as you wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand. “And then you planned to kill me once I no longer served a purpose? Well, tell me, how long have I got?”
“It’s not like that anymore.” Ransom took a deep breath as he stepped forward. He was calm, too calm and instantly you took a step back. “That was my initial plan, yeah, but what I wasn’t banking on was how being around you would make me feel.” He swallowed as he licked his lips. “I couldn’t get rid of you like I originally planned once you served your purpose. Because I love you.” Your mouth dropped open at his confession, utter horror coursing through your veins as you realised what he was saying. The chances of you getting out of this were depleting by the second. He really was completely fucked in the head. “No, no you don’t!” You shook your head, “this...is not love, Ransom, this is obsession, it’s...” He cut you off as he surged forward, his lips pressing to yours. You placed your hands on his chest, shoving hard as you turned your face away, screaming loudly at him to leave you alone. In an easy movement he spun you round, his arms clamping around yours pulling them behind you as he held you in place, your back pressed to his chest as he pressed his lips to your neck. “I know deep down��you love me too...” his breath was hot on your neck, voice still eerily calm as his hips pushed forward and you could feel his erection digging into the curve of your spine. “Fuck, this is what you’ve done to me, feel that, Sweetheart? You wrecked me, and now I need you. It’s that simple.” At that he pushed you forward, harshly bending you over his desk, one large hand securing both of yours being your back, your body twisted in a warped recreation of that time he’d used your sweater to restrain you all those months ago. You struggled but he simply twisted your arm further, causing you to cry out in pain and desperation as his other hand roughly hoisted up your night-dress. “You’ll say it eventually.” He stated calmly as you heard that tell-tale rustle of fabric as he pushed down his sweats. “It might take another spell in the basement to make you realise, but you’ll come round.” “It doesn’t work like that.” You sobbed, your voice cracking as his hand let go of your arms and slid up to your neck, reaching round your throat. His fingers curled round your neck as he pulled your head back, his mouth nipping at your neck before he pulled back, his face inches from yours as his icy blues stared locked onto your eyes. They were cold, dangerous and you shook your head, tears pouring down your face.  Your lip trembled as you closer your eyes, taking a deep breath before you opened them again, resigning yourself to the fact that this next line might just seal your fate and wind up with you losing your life. But right now, that would be a blessed way out.  “I can’t love you simply because that’s what you want.” “Oh Sweetheart,” he chuckled, his lips ghosting over yours, “I know that. I know I can’t force you to feel something you don’t, but the only person you’re fooling is yourself. I just want you to admit it.”
“I won’t.” You stuttered, “never, Ransom.”
“Oh, Y/N. Haven’t you learned by now? I always get what I want, including this, you’ll see.” With a harsh thrust forward he pushed inside you, making you scream at the burn thanks to the fact you weren’t ready for him, at all. He gave a groan as he grabbed at your hips, your pelvis jolting painfully into the edge of the hard wooden desk you were bent over. “As my granddad used to quote,” he pulled back before delivering another deep thrust harshly into you, his fingers digging into your flesh as you closed your eyes, scrunching them shut as your cheek rest against the desk, tears leaking from your eyes, “we all become stories in the end.” 
He gave another deep rut forward as he ground into you, his breathing deep.
“Now it’s time to rewrite ours, Princess.”
*****
Epilogue
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beyondplusultra · 4 years ago
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Shuake Week || Day 3: Comfort Ain't nothing come easy  No, nothing comes quick It's gonna hurt like hell to become well But if we set the bone straight It'll mend 
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lost-souls-wander · 3 years ago
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Hunter x Reader
Chapter 1
It happened very fast, and everything went out of control. One moment humanity was just doing its thing and living in order. The next week however, everything had changed for the worst. All because of some kind of green flue. Don't take me wrong, I was concerned in the beginning, the fear of losing my slightly rhythmic life sure had taken its toll on me, especially after everyone around me started to panic, including my parents.
"HANNA! You cant just leave us! HANNA!-" those were my dads last words to his ex-lover and wife as she had taken the car, and drove off with our supplies and food. Dad was a mess after after what happened. He couldn't properly take care of us anymore, he had lost a lot of sleep in a few weeks time, his behavior also worsened. He was quick to anger, and constantly irritated. So I took it upon myself to learn things on my own as he continued to reign terror on the last of his family. I had snuck out just a few hours before sun rise and grabbed my bike. My fastest form of transport at the moment, and made a quick tour to the library, as usual, but my dad never knew. And it was possibly better this way.It was empty and deserted, I could hear a few inhuman groans here and there but couldn't quite picture what these "zombie" like creatures looked like, our dad was pretty much a helicopter when it came to the outside world when the apocalypse hit and mom left. None was allowed outside the house at all, just him. And he alone went scouting for food and food alone, here and there some materials but never something for us, his children.I could see his state worsening by the day, and considered it top priority to get away as soon as possible with as much knowledge on how to survive as possible. The building of the library was thick with a musty sent of old books and dust, lots of iron too, which I could only guess was blood. I stayed away from the strong scent of iron and focused on getting to the herbology section of the library.In these times mankind forgot that the true power of surviving came from knowledge, no knowledge? No advantage. No advantage? Possibly a gruesome death would follow.My hands brushed the polished wood that kept the books in their place on the shelves, thinking of how many people had touched these books, read through them, and possibly never did something with the knowledge inside. It was a shame really. I wanted to perhaps become member of this society and yet here it was, crumbling away at these un-dead. It saddened me a little, and I was horrified for a while when I heard it. What was I gonna do now? My degree in art and drawing was pretty much useless now. At least I could scavenge for a cabin in the mountains and settle down there, far away from society, where no zombies or humans could reach so I could exist in peace.
I chuckled, a mid-tone raspy chuckle filled my throat and echo'd a little through the empty apocalyptic library as I stopped and continued thinking about what to do and where to go. But first order of business was to get knowledge from the books and find a place to escape to. Grabbing my black old school bag I ripped it open quickly, wanting to fill it with the necessary books and just get out of here, The sounds of the un-dead in the distance was off putting, and I wasn't taking a chance to be caught in the middle of a group of them. I might have not seen them. But I knew damn well that from the clips on TV that those fuckers were fast. And me without my bike? Not so much.
I grabbed the books by pairs, quickly turning them to their back side and skimming through what the book would hold.
Edible herbal plants... Seasonal plants... Look alike's and their dangers... Looked valid enough. It went like this for a few minutes until my bag was full with books about surviving in nature, herbs, and making shelters for the night. Although I doubted it would help against zombie apocalypses it was always good to know how to make something remotely sheltering and how to acquire food from its natural source.
I quickly flung my backpack over my back and quickly took in the noise around me, the hoard had gotten ever so closer, and it started to make me anxious. If I didn't get out of here soon and back home I would be in a LOT of trouble, perhaps more trouble than being chased down the streets by a hoard of zombies. So I speed-walked towards the exit, the broken doors were leaning against the framework that had red and black splotches all over it the doors pretty much being smashed in two pieces by something extraordinary big. A shiver ran down her spine, May did NOT want to know what was big enough to do that.
after leaving the library doors she quickly hid in the bushes, peeking in between the leaves to see there was any danger, the branches poked and prodded at her form, the twigs leaving nasty marks on her clothes and bare skin.
There! in the distance she spotted her bike, old and a bit rusty, but it did the job well, I looked around if there were any zombies walking around and about, the road was clear, and so was the road ahead. It was a bit strange considering I hear an entire group of them just a few minutes ago but that must have been the other side of the building, luckily not the way I needed to go in order to get home.
I got partially up and half crouched/ran towards my bike which was placed against the opposite building in an alleyway, the alleyway was filled with trashcans and bags that had been ripped open by rats and other critters that roamed the streets and needed some food. Not that it was of any use now, it was all rotten and left a horrid stench that made my nose scrunch up in disgust.
I got on my bike and quickly started to get home, it was then that I started to feel like I was being watched. I felt it crawling over my skin that there was something or someone watching me, maybe some of the other survivors? or perhaps a zombie? I didn't want to find out and started to bike a little faster.
And then it happened all so fast, an inhuman growl came from my left and I was flung off my bike, panic setting into my very bones as I felt the bike get out of my grip, my face looked upwards as I saw the dark sky with a few light rays from the sun. I felt the cold harsh ground on my back and the air flew from my lungs as I tumbled down the steep hill, the creature flung with me yelping in surprise at it's own actions, we both rolled harshly down the wall of the construction site that was never finished.
I felt whatever air I had in me leave my body as I harshly was flung onto ground and came to a stop on my back, I groaned in agony face twisting in pain. everything hurt, my shoulders were probably bruised beyond belief and my legs felt like they had been ripped off whilst still being attached to me. And don't even get me started on my head, it hurt like a bitch!
I continued to wallow in my own pain for a brief moment until I heard a scream that sounded like it came from the depth's of hell itself, and a squishing like sound like flesh had been impaled on high impact, until all that was left was sound of screams of pure agony.
I didn't want to look at what had happened, I was in so much pain and the adrenaline was so high in my system that I made a run for the hill and grabbed what was left of my bike and just went, the howls of pain in the background growing fainter and fainter as the black concrete enveloped my mind, the scent of iron in the air was even more noticeable than before, and the distant sound of zombies screaming left me in even more panic than before as I skidded to a stop in front of my house, put my bike back in its place and threw myself over the fence to climb in the tree, and get inside of my room.
I did not come down that day for food or anything else.
That night I laid in bed curled up in fear and confusion, what had attacked me? what was it even? was that a zombie?! panic and fear had settled itself deep into my mind, I did not want to go back to the library in fear of coming across whatever that was, but fear soon turned into a guilty sympathetic feeling as I remembered what had happened to it, it had gotten pierced by metal rods and maybe was there, slowly dying, starving to death. If it even was alive that is.
I shut my eyes, letting my dark room filled with plants and comfortable blankets fall from my vision as I let a restless sleep take over me, for the next up coming week I did not sleep well, only thinking about the creature that might still be stuck there. Waiting for whatever was next to come.
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bitchassbucky · 4 years ago
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.eps (explicit)
Word Count: 2k
Warning/s: dark!bucky x dark!reader, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, blood mention, gore and dismemberment/beheading, murder, toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, sedation/drugging/use of sedative, stockholm syndrome-ish, one very special character reveal
A/N: i told y'all there's more <3 the special character treat is for @sarge-barnes-sir mwah!
this is queued shdhhsh gonna fix the links in the mornin’
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS ABOVE, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS VERSION, GO AND CHECK OUT THE NON-EXPLICIT VERSION.
follow the CTRL series:
i - .exe
ii - .avi
iii - .raw
iv - .png
v - .zip
CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard
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Safeness, comfortability, warmth are all but a false sense of reality.
When a prey takes down its walls, the predator moves in. Camouflaged in familiar colors, in words that you’re used to hearing, in praises, in lies. Most predators use the mask of the night to move in darkness—unyielding and calculated. Come morning, there will be only one left alive, tainted with victory and bloodshed.
You and Bucky have been engaging in a dance for two—a battle of who’s willing to take the leap of faith and unleash hell upon the other.
Stifled smiles and pursed lips.
The air is filled with unsaid irritants, little things that ticked away like bombs.
There was no time for pleading, no time for mercy, no rest for the wicked.
Did you still love each other?
How far are you willing to go to keep up with his… complacency?
Bucky’s mundane life already taking a toll on you. The endless nightmares of him feeling you. The swirling vision of Bucky being with you every waking—and sleeping—moment: it grates your soul to shreds.
“We’ll be together forever, right?”
“Yes, darling.”
“What about the day after forever?”
“That too, honey.”
Where was the man you loved so deeply? The man that broke his morals just to be with you?
Was he under this hull of a Yes Man? A poor little thing that says ‘yes’ to everything like a puppy.
The man you held so dearly now slipping away, chipping his humanity, shedding the once-human.
“Would you marry me tomorrow if I asked you?”
“Of course, baby, why wouldn’t I?”
“Would you kill for me?”
“I’m meant to do the same for you.”
It’s irritating how Bucky gave up too quickly. Too fast, moving too fast. The gazelle let the lion tear its neck as it lay there, unmoving, letting the blood seep into its hide.
When you first met Bucky, it was your own fairytale unfolding before your eyes. Kismet, reality, forgiveness from above. He was soft and shy, passionate, lively.
Far from what you expected from a man his age—you blame Steve for forcing you into his narrative before. That all men are out to get you. They will hurt you. They will use you and leave you for good. But Bucky? Bucky came in like a knight. He saved you from the carcass of your past. He saved you from the sins that you prayed and knelt for.
Bucky taught you how to love.
Bucky taught you how to live for yourself.
Bucky taught you that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.
“It was an unspoken little thing, wasn’t it?”
“What thing, baby?”
“Our love.”
“Yes, honey, it was.”
He worships you.
He worships you like a fucking God and you hate it.
Suffocating, too suffocating. You dove straight for the water and now you’re drowning.
Do you still love each other? The question hangs in the air, heavy with its weight, light as a feather.
It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.
So you stand there with a syringe half-filled with a horse sedative. It’s a concern how easy it is to waltz into a pet store and pick up a general anesthetic. You make a mental note to look at it later.
Bucky’s body slumps forward, his forehead meeting the edge of the table with a dull thud. If the overdose doesn’t kill him, the weeping crack in his head will.
Holy fuck, humans bleed a lot. And fast. Good thing you already have that clear tarp taped down. Even with the hush money stuffed down your throat, it would take a good nick to regrout the kitchen.
“What is that for, honey?”
“I’m painting the cabinets.”
“Okay, darling.”
So you let him bleed, surprised that the liquid is redder than what you thought it would be. A soft gurgling noise came from Bucky, the last of air escaping his dead body. You stood there, syringe in hand, as you thought how to dispose of a six-foot-tall man without arousing suspicion.
Not that he’ll be missed anyway: the local news and the internet already branded him as a psycho and you as a victim. You were both victims in this fairytale. They reported his case as “skipped the town like the sicko he is.” So, no—no one’s going to look for him.
The sun was high up in the sky and there was a dead body in your kitchen.
A butcher and a surgeon walks into a bar for a drink. “What do you do for a living?” Said the butcher, “I save lives! What about you?” The doctor answers. “I save animals from dying slowly. We’re basically the same. You’re just very clean.” You see, the butcher comes into the bar covered in blood, reeking of death. The surgeon, on the other hand, wears his white coat with pride even though he’s surrounded by death every passing second.
Today was the day you learned that you have the tools of a butcher and the precision of a surgeon. Unlike before.
You carefully take Bucky’s fingers off of his left hand, leaving a skin flap on the edge of the last knuckle for you to stitch close later. Four promises. Four goddamn promises and he broke all of them.
It was his fault that he’s dead. He made you do this.
Starting with his left shoulder, you jab the knife between the bone and the soft flesh of his armpit, bringing the blade downwards. The sickening smell of blood swirled along with the image of muscle and fat being sliced made you gag.
Does the brain know that it’s seeing something it shouldn’t?
A rational part of you wanted to look away but the time is ticking, it’ll be much harder once rigor mortis sets in an hour.
You swing the knife down, cracking the bone once, and then again, and again, and again until the shoulder bone splinters and dislocates itself from the rest of Bucky’s torso. You had to switch knives and blades and a fucking bone saw to get through the rest of his limbs, leaving only his chest, head, and stomach untouched. After taping up and packing the arms and the legs, you work on putting the rest of Bucky into a nondescript suitcase.
The only problem being his head getting into the way of things.
Wanting to preserve even a shred of his dignity, you left his face untouched. Well, save from the crack in his skull.
You begrudgingly take a hefty chef’s knife and start cutting through the jugular vein, only stopping when the blade hits the spinal cord by his nape. The serrated blade of the bone saw sits on your blood-soaked gloves, scrape-scrape-scraping until it snaps into two.
The human head weighs around 10 pounds, kinda like a bowling ball.
An opaque black garbage bag containing Bucky’s head looks nothing suspicious as you put it inside a backpack—into a firepit you go.
His limbs—arms and legs alike—are going deep into the ocean, forgotten and to be used as fish food.
The limbless torso will be finding its home in a deep hole in the middle of a densely wooded area, far from the city.
But you’re not quite sure what to do with the mason jar of teeth though; the clinking noises of it remind you of the seashells you used to collect when you were a kid. Maybe you’ll stash it away with the torso.
Placing the bags into the trunk of a rental, you begin your journey to the end of your fairytale.
The drive to and from the places was tiring, to say the least. The internet connection of the diners was spotty at best. Locals were overly friendly with the city folks who came passing through their towns. The roads reek of roadkill and manure from the farm animals that were left to roam for fresh grass.
At least you get to come home in a spotless apartment, alone once again.
But not lonely.
Your space is yours again. No trace of anyone anywhere. Immaculately yours.
Humans are social creatures.
No one can truly be alone, especially in today’s world where we’re connected to everyone—whether we liked it or not.
Leaving your wretched job behind was an easy feat to do. No one can say no to the victim of such a vile crime. That’s all they saw you: a helpless little thing. So off you went; saying half-assed goodbyes and sending emails of courage and hope and fucking resilience.
Your resignation meant that the company’s free of any dirt from you, Bucky’s disappearance quickly becoming a joke and a rumor blending in one.
They let you leave: in your bank account a fat check ensuring that you’d shut up about the scandal for months until you can’t feed yourself no more. So you packed your bags and jet off without looking back. You never liked that apartment anyway.
Nevertheless, you found yourself looking into another dead-end job in one of the towns you stopped over before. It’s a charming place like time froze in their plaza while the rest of the world went on. You found a small studio apartment in a street tuckered away from the main avenue, you settled there as days became nights and nights turned into days.
You woke up one morning craving a healthy serving of coffee and pancakes, luckily the town’s local diner wasn’t far from your new home.
The coffee was too hot, the pancakes were amazing, fluffy, and just right. You’re sitting in a sunny booth, the warmth doing its wonders.
“Hi, can I get today’s paper, please?” Your voice is sweet as you call your server, giving her a quick smile.
A pair of Raybans adorn your face, unconsciously hiding behind its darkened glasses. The waitress gives you a thick stack of newspapers, refilling your cup with black coffee.
Upon opening the paper, you ignore the town’s headlines and went straight for the job postings. The door jingled open as patrons come in and go, waving to familiar faces.
Job Vacancy Announcements
Secretary to the Town Sheriff
You skimmed over the rest of the details, only noting the address of the office. The job looks quite lucrative for someone who would only take messages and organize files for the sheriff.
Looking over the job posting again, you read over the words walk-ins only. That shouldn’t be hard enough.
The diner looked deserted save from the man sitting behind your booth. Leaning over and tapping his shoulder, you put on a polite smile, “Hi, sorry, do you know how to get to the sheriff’s office from here?”
“Hello, darling.” The man croons in an accent, he looks over to you, “join me in my booth, will ‘ya?”
You’re in no position to reject his proposal, you’re the one who needed an answer.
Taking your coffee cup, you slide into his booth, “hi.”
“Just the face I wanted to see.” Clean-shaven, a hint of mint and smoke, and something woody; a worn leather jacket and white button-up shirt hugging his soft frame. “Some folks over on the apartment complex were talkin’ about a city girl wanting to rent a studio all by herself. That happen to be you?”
You look over to him, trying to understand how that small of news spread like a wildfire, “yeah. I moved in a week ago.”
He leans over, smiling sweetly as he unabashedly lets his eyes roam your features, “What’s a city girl like you doin’ in a place like this? I hope we ain’t too boring for you, gal.”
Chatty—he’s way too chatty.
“Just wanted a change of pace, really. Away from the bustle of the city.” You rustle the paper, clearing your throat to get back on the matter on hand, “so the sheriff’s office? Is it too far from here?”
“What business are ‘ya bringing into the office?”
“A job, actually. Says here that they’re looking for a secretary.” You might as well tell him everything, he seems too chatty to be dismissed over and over again.
“Well, darlin’, today’s your lucky day. No need to drive down the old road.” He reaches down to his seat, pulling up a brown hat, “Hi, I’m Sheriff Bodecker. Now, to whom do I owe the pleasure?”
You bite back a giggle, you’ve always wanted to be involved with the law.
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nerteragranadensis · 3 years ago
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Ain’t nothing come easy / no, nothing comes quick / it’s gonna hurt like hell to become well / but if we set the bone straight / it’ll mend / it’ll fix / and we’ll be well
—The Oh Hellos, "Theseus"
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mcmoth · 3 years ago
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So... I just found the song Theseus by The oh hellos, which... really surprised I hadn't found it sooner, being both a dsmp and the oh hellos fan, but oh well. Anyways, I just wanted to ramble about how this song fits c!Tommy, cause my god... the animatic I could make with this,,,
Oh, and this was originally a YouTube comment, btw, so it's maybe less expansive or personal than my usual rambles here would be. I just thought to actually rather post this on tumblr and delete the comment as to not add to the pile of dsmp comments cluttering the original song's feedback ^^ here y'all go:
At the edges of my fingers
Never quite closing round it
Oh, that peace like a river
Always going, but never getting
- How c!Tommy is constantly on the move, always preparing the next plan, always striving for some closure, how his two main priorities right now are safety and honesty - peace - and he tries so hard to get it, always, but in the end, never seems to succeed.
Seems like maybe it's not all that much a place
As it is a way
And ways don't ever seem to want to
Stay too still for too long
- Reminds me heavy of L'manburg. At the start of it, Wilbur did say that L'manburg wasn't a place, it was it's people, it's ideals. Words over violence, fighting back against oppressive authority, and seeking a family. And that's still what c!Tommy holds close to this day. But... as we all know. L'manburg, as it stood, didn't last long in these idealistic hopes.
Isn't that what it's all about?
The slow trickling thaw that sets the banks in half
The sweet melody it makes when the canyons crack
I wanna give it all I've got, and I want nothing
I want nothing back
-The "I wanna give it all i've got, and I want nothing, I want nothing back" makes me envision the season 1 finale, when Tommy tried so hard to fight for L'manburg, against all odds. And as Techno shouted at him to give up on being a hero, he just yelled back that he never wanted to be one, didn't want to be anything, rather "just wanted L'manburg back". For all of them.
Also, the first 3 lines give off cool imagery - the division between the dsmp and L'manburg, the war, the split sides after the election for the "trickling thaw that sets the banks in half", and Wilbur's words and symphony, once hopeful, turned miserable, as it echoes against Pogtopia's walls for "melody it makes when the canyons crack".
Whatever kingdom come, it probably won't come quick
No mighty clarion to announce it
No single use ark to discard in an instant
Like Theseus's ship, we'll fix the busted bits
- makes me think of new L'manburg, of everyone trying to rebuild after the destruction - constructing on top of the remains. Integrating the losses into their future. The creation comes slow, and without fanfare - the healthy bit of it, at least. But that's what's important about it - being able to take something slow for once, and just... working towards something again.
'Til it's both nothing like and everything
It's always been
It's a wonder we expect a thing to
Stay the same at all
- Theseus' ship is a metaphor for how, if you take something apart, one by one, gradually changing it's parts 'till it's all replaced, is the ship still the same ship? Or is it something entirely different now? And I feel like that's an interesting way to view c!Tommy - so much has happened to him, all lives lost. He's lost his spark, he's regained it again, different now. He's lost his friends, he's regained them again, different now. He's lost his brother, he regained him again, different now. So many labels have been assigned to him - hero, liability, toy... is he even Tommy anymore, misaligned pieces of what used to be a full puzzle? Or... is it that, after everything, it's still just him...
Maybe that's what it's all about
We keep fixing what we know is only bound to break
What's worth saving is never worth letting go to waste
I want to mend what I've got, instead of throwing away
- This is so relevant for c!Tommy. Whatever is important to him, he refuses to throw away. The discs, his relationship with Tubbo, trying to reconcile with Techno, not giving up on Wilbur... His whole speech to Foolish, that one stream, highlights this well. If he loves someone, he will never let go. It's worth trying to mend, in his eyes, even if there's no guarantee it won't just break again. Just like his home, rebuilt dozens and dozens of times after all the griefs and opportunities to leave it. He always returns to what is close to him.
Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
It's gonna hurt like hell to become well
But if we set the bone straight
It'll mend It'll fix
And we'll be well
- c!Tommy's whole story has been painful. He gets beat down, more often than not. He goes to get closure in prison, and he returns undead. His bones shattered, feeling reality altered. But he still tries. Still tries to figure out what to do next, what to save next, even as he's tired to the bone. And there's something to say, about that - about how he tried, despite the pain. His healing process is such a mess, but it's a healing process all the same.
Ain't nothing come easy
No, nothing comes quick
But I want for you this, that you are well
I want for us this, that we are well
- That's what c!Tommy wants, in the end. For everyone to be safe from torment, and to have fun. For everyone to be well. It isn't easy, and he's not perfect, and his edges are sharp enough to cut, but he wishes nonetheless. He tends to the server, he asks c!Dream why he doesn't hurt after leaving everything, he preserves Ranboo's flowers; he just wants everything to be okay.
We are well, we are well
We are well, we are well
We are well
- And they will be, I hope. Because if there's one thing that c!Tommy's story has shown, after all the fighting, abuse, arguments, death and grief - it's that he's still alive, and hanging onto hope... And though things are bleak, I'm hoping one day, the whole server, not just c!Tommy, will be able to say "we are well", too.
So... Yeah. Check out the oh hellos if y'all haven't already, their music is wonderful <3
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jawritter · 4 years ago
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Miracle On 37th Street
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Summary: Time doesn’t heal all wounds, sometimes it just drives them into our bones and festers there, until forgiveness is a four letter word, and it’s to late for second chances. 
Part two of: Merry Christmas Sweetheart
Warnings: Language, fluff, mentions of past heartbreak, multiple viewpoints, I think that’s about everything for this one. It’s pretty much flooff lol. 
Written for: @spnchristmasbingo and also for @deanwanddamons 2k celebration! Congrats again hun!
Square Field: Coming Home For Christmas
Prompte: You had me at hello
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Word Count: 2802
A/N: This fic was beta’d by the lovely @miss-nerd95! Thanks again love!! Also fun fact. There really is a 37th street they deck out in Austin, Texas every year for Christmas. It’s pretty awesome, look it up. Please don’t copy my work! I hope you all enjoy this one! 
**MASTERLIST**   **BECOME A PATREON**
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Jensen’s POV: 
To say that sleep had evaded Jensen was an understatement. All he could think about was you and the hurt in your eyes when you turned away from him for the very last time, and stepped out into the cold. It haunted him. Seeping into his subconscious, and turning into nightmares of blinding snow, and him calling your name, but never being able to find you, you were always just out of reach. 
At around three in the morning he’d given up on sleeping all together and decided it was time to revisit the bottle of perfectly aged Royal Salute he kept for nights just like this. He did note that he’d been seeing this particular friend a lot more since him and Danneel decided it was time to stop fooling themselves and move on to at least try and be happy; but he was way too stressed and heartbroken to worry about his drinking habits right now. 
A quick glance outside his bedroom window told him that there was no way in hell you were flying out to New York before Christmas. It had to be the biggest snow storm Austin had seen in years, and he knew for sure all flights were probably gonna be grounded well after next year began. 
He didn’t know what the hell he expected of you. Why did he think that you'd just fall at his feet after over 10 years of him being a dick and rubbing his marriage directly on your wounds? Fat chance. You were stronger than that, always were stronger than he was. He was a coward when he ran from his feelings all those years ago, and he was still a coward now, hiding three glasses deep in his whiskey and alone. 
He couldn’t let you go back to New York without telling how he really felt for what felt like the millionth time in a row, it would kill him. He had hoped placing the little box on Steve’s door step would be enough. That you’d find it, and maybe you’d see how serious he was. Sitting here without anyone around, now he knew that was just a shot in the dark, so he picked up his phone and tried to call Steve to retrieve it for him, but his phone just went to voicemail. 
That started a whole new set of worries for Jensen. What if you were with Steve? What if you had gone to bed with him? Seeking comfort from a long standing friend that you were never able to get from him?
“Goddammit!” Jensen yelled to the echoing and empty room around him, throwing his phone across the room before running his fingers through his hair harshly, trying to literally pull the cruel images his mind had placed there of you and his best friend together out by the roots. 
He had to go get that ring. If you saw it, it would only make things worse either with you and him or for you and Steve. It was a heartbroken and desperate move that he shouldn’t have made, he should've known better than that. He wasn’t drunk, and it wasn't like anyone would be on the streets in this weather. It was very unlikely for whatever the reason that the two of you were awake still, and it wasn’t like Steve lived that far from him. 
Grabbing his coat and boats Jensen raced to the car through the cold, still steadily falling snow, scrapping the window as quickly as he could, and sliding inside to start the heater so that he could defrost the window enough to back out onto the ice and snow covered road. 
Once he was inside the safety of the car with the heater and defrost going full blast he saw something as he backed out onto the street that made him halt his movements. The small star christmas lights that were hanging on the pole that the town workers placed every year twinkled at him like a small little beacon of hope against the falling snow. It hit him then, the perfect plan to get you talk to him. The time he couldn't mess this up. This was his last chance. Step one was to go get those rings before either Steve or your found them. Then he’d set the rest up in the morning. 
Readers POV: 
“Steve, it’s cold out here. Why the sudden interest in Christmas lights?” you whined at your friend as he pulled you from the warmth of the car, and started to walk down the crowded street through the mass of people heading towards Austin’s main Christmas attraction. The lights on 34th street. 
You couldn’t deny it was beautiful, and something you hadn’t seen in person in a decade or so, but right now you just weren’t in the mood. You’d spent most of last night pissed at Steve for letting Jensen pick you up from the airport when he damn well knew why you left for New York in the first place, and two-seeing hurt you caused in the green eyes you loved as you slammed the car door in his face before going into Steve’s house had not given you the feelings of acceptance, revenge and that you could finally move on that you had hoped for. 
After you had ripped Steve a new one and drank enough alcohol between the two of you to numb you broken and bleeding heart a little, you had decided to just fly home and cancel your interview with the client that had yet to return your calls since you landed in Austin; only to find out that there would be no flights out of any of the local airports until after the New Year. Texas just wasn’t used to this kind of weather, and it had effectively put you home for Christmas for the first time in years, whether you wanted to be here or not.
“Come on, it’s the first year you’ve been actually home for Christmas in over a decade Y/N, it will be fun, you used to love going to look at the Christmas lights on 37th Street.”
You grumbled under your breath as Steve lead you to the little street booth that was set up to sell hot chocolate and cookies, letting him buy you a warm drink to help fight against the bitter cold before leading you to sit down at one of the little tables a little further away from everyone else on the street. 
“Wait here, I’ve got to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back,” he said once you were settled, disappearing before you could argue about being left here alone amongst the bustling crowd of strangers. You glare at his retreating back and curse his bladder before looking down into your steaming cup of hot chocolate, taking a sip of the warm liquid and humming at the hot, sweetness as it hits your taste buds.  
The street was beautiful. There were twinkling lights and decorations everywhere, it looked a little bit like a little piece of the North Pole had dropped itself right down in the middle of Texas. You had forgotten how nice it was this time of year around here. The little shops on full decorated display, and everyone seemed to just about know everyone by name, almost like in the movies that play on those crappy hallmark channels. It was sweet, and even if you were hell bent on avoiding it due to a certain someone, it was still home. This was the first time you’d missed the simpler, slower pace in a long time. You didn’t know if it was the nostalgia in the air or if it was the season itself, but this was the closest you had felt to at home in years. 
“This seat taken?” A deep, smooth baritone voice asked from across the table, and your eyes met the green gaze that had been haunting you like an old ghost of your past all night long, that  wounded look which tugged at your heart strings buried not so deep under the surface of his soft gaze. 
“No,” you answer shortly, afraid to see those pathetic eyes that he’d given you when you left him last night.
Jensen gave you a stiff smile and slid into the seat across the small table. Looking around at the passing people who seemed to all but ignore their local celebrity like seeing him was just another Tuesday for them. 
“It’s beautiful down here this time of year isn’t it?” he asked, eyes shifting over the glittering sparkling decorations that were still hung with a small bit of snow that lingered on them, only making them shine brighter against the night sky. 
“What do you want Jensen,” you asked him, cutting right to the point. “I was pretty sure we said all we had to say to each other yesterday.”
Jensen sat up a little straighter in his seat, and looked down at his hands that were folded on the table in front of him before meeting your gaze again. 
“That’s just it, Y/N,” he said, his voice soft but scared all the same, letting all his emotions be out on full display for you to see. Not hiding anything at all. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it open and honest for the first time in his life, no matter how much that scared him. “You said a lot, and what you said was valid, but sweetheart I still have a lot I need you to hear.”
You swallowed around the lump of nothing in your throat, but didn’t trust your voice to work, so you just stared at him and waited. Not getting a response out of you, Jensen sat up a little straighter and dug around in his pocket, pulling out a small, neatly wrapped box and sliding it across the table at you. 
You stared at it suspiciously before meeting his gaze wearily. 
“You wanted to give me a present?” you ask him a little dumbfounded and he chuckled darkly before sitting back and shoving his hands into his pockets, his eyes never leaving yours. 
“Yeah, you can say that,” he said, guestering for you to open it with a nod of his head. 
Slowly, hesitatingly you picked up the box with shaking hands and began to unwrap it by pulling the little ribbon on top carefully before removing the lid. Inside lay two wedding rings, a broader and bigger one which was definitely for a man and another a gorgeous feminine wedding ring. 
You looked up at him in confusion before taking the small, golden band in your hand and turning it, reflections of the twinkling lights above you making it shine. 
“Jensen, I don’t understand,” you tell him honestly, and this time when you met his gaze there were tears there, burning his eyes a little redder just below the surface that he wouldn’t allow to fall. You swore your heart broke all over again. 
“I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N,” he said, his voice deeper and rougher than you were used to. You just sat there in silence sensing there was a lot more to this story.
“I hurt you. I did you as wrong as I could go, and I’m really sorry. I used you as a safety net, knowing damn good and well what you felt for me, but I was to afraid of the way you made me feel to ever act on what I should have and instead listen to people that didn’t know shit; people that said she’d be a better fit than you for me.”
Realization hit you, along with a flood of tears that seemed to fall of their own free will as you dropped Jensen’s wedding band into the box and sat it down in the middle of the table as if it were on fire. “Jensen I…”
“Baby please let me finish. Then you can tell me to go to hell, or fuck off for good, but let me do this,” he cut you and you bit down hard on your lip as his own tears started to fall down his perfect face. “Before you even say it, no, you were not the reason I left Danneel. She and I were not good for each other, we were both unhappy, and we both deserved to have something better. She didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did I.” 
You nod to show him that you understood, even if your head was reeling like you were drunk . You could just sense he needed the encouragement to keep going, and you saw him breath a small sigh of relief before he continued. 
“I tried to love her, I swear I did, but no matter what I did or how hard I tried it always came back to you. You may not realize it, maybe I hid it too well, but sweetheart you had me at hello. You asked me last night if I missed you at the altar, and through all these years of milestones I shared with someone else, or even when I was with her. Baby girl, you were always my first thought in the morning and the last one I had before I went to sleep at night.” 
Jensen moved his chair a bit closer to you, taking your hand in his and holding your gaze. 
“The night you left I damn near drank myself to death, and I couldn’t even tell Danneel why. She deserves someone who could give her their whole heart. Mine always belonged to you sweetheart. I know I'm asking for a lot, but if you’d let me, I want to try and make up for all these years I’ve wasted. Years I should have given to you. I loved you then, Y/N, and I still do. Now if you can look at me and tell me you feel nothing for me anymore and walk away I wont try and contact you again, but baby please, please let me do now what I should have done all those years ago. I wanna be yours, if you'll have me.”
You stared at him in complete disbelief for a moment as your mind tried to wrap around his confession. You were numb, but this time not from heartbreak, but shock. You never knew. He’d hidden it all so well. You never knew he had feelings for you at all, and now here he was, asking for a chance. Something you had never even let yourself dream that would happen, and all you could do was cry and he made his way to his knees in the cold snow in front of you, tears of his own falling freely down his wretchedly beautiful face. 
“Please sweetheart, I know this is overwhelming. I know it’s a lot to process, but baby, I’m not above begging, not when it comes to you. Say something. I was the client you were supposed to meet. I was trying to get you down here to me so I could ask for another chance with you. I’m putting everything I have on the line for you here, and it’s all for you. Please”
His eyes showed years of hurt that you were all so familiar with, and all you could do was shake your head and say, “okay.” 
It was all he seemed to need, standing to his feet in front of you, he pulled you up to him, lips meeting yours for the very first time in all the years you had known each other. It was deep, and held so much feeling that it knocked you breathless for a moment. When he pulled away from you, Steve was standing next to you two with a smirk on his face and his arms folded across his chest.
“About goddamn time,” he said, smiling at the two of you, you still nestled in Jensen’s strong embrace as snow started to flurry around you again. This time though it didn’t feel quite as cold. 
“He’s got a lot of making up to do,” you tell Steve, looking up to meet Jensen's soft stare. He looked as if a weight had been removed from his shoulders, and you could have sworn he looked years younger standing there in front of you. 
“Baby, I look forward to it, won't let you down now” he told you, brushing his lips against your own once more, sealing a promise of forever, and renewing your faith that miracles did happen, even in the most unexpected place, and even when we think that they never will. 
You just have to keep your eyes, ears and heart open.
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