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christhebish · 5 years ago

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How to write plus-sized people accurately

Some people in my comments have asked me for tips on how to write overweight chaeacters, and since I am getting tired of typing it out I am making a masterpost here.

- Clothes

A few disclaimers first: 1) I am a pre everything trans man, so except for supportive friends and family, I am still seen by society as an overweight woman, and I experienced puberty, probably the worst time to be fat, as one. I am aware that there are different aspects concerning cis and passing men, and maybe I will do an update once I have experienced them. and 2) I love in Switzerland, so these things may differ from the american perspective a lot of people are looking for, and 3) I weigh 130kg. While that is indeed obese, I can not talk about the experiences of those who weigh significantly more than me. I also do not have an illness or disorder that led to me being the weight I am, and neither do I have an ED.

Alright, now that this is out of the way, let's start.

Clothes

You will not see a fat person that is dressed in stylish, modern clothes unless they've got a lot of money on their hands. Most plus-sized sections in store have one, very specific style that is definitely not everyone's thing, and specific plus-sized labels that actually sell stuff you want to wear are often way more expensive. For me, it wasn't a problem because I just wore bandshirts and hoodies anyway, but for a lot of women it's really dishartening. But it also leads to a lot of overweight women being great in accessorising and making the best out of not so great pieces. So your fat character can still be well dressed, they just need to be more creative. Also not possible for overweight people are thrift stores, most bought costumes, and owning a bathing suit that you actually like. This leads us to

Swimming

Even fat people who are confident with their body sometimes reach their limit here. Because as a big sized person, you are expected to cover up as much of that hideous body as possible. If not, you will be getting stares. And if you decide to actually do that, you will feel uncomfortable as hell, especially when it's warm out.

Sports

Some people like to do sports, some don't. I definitely don't. But I still do it, because I want to be healthy for my upcoming surgeries. Which leads me to my first point. Not all fat people exercise to loose weight! Some just like it, some want to achieve a personal goal, and some think it's a fun way to socialise. Also, most of us probably won't join a team of any kind out of the fear of getting laughed out or dragging the others down. No matter if we love sports though, we all hate PE class.

School

Not only are PE teachers often the most fatphobic people on earth, but it is also very frustrating when the goals set are often just not possible for someone with your body type. If you have a good class, you might enjoy the games like football or volleyball, but the rest is just generally torture.

The rest of school is pretty basic though. We just live our lives like any skinny kid, and we're either good in school or not. A stereotype to avoid though is the one that every overweight kid is an arristic genius in some kind. Your character doesn't have to be good at singing or drawing because they're plus-sized. Maybe they're just biology nerds.

Bullying

If you are a fat kid who isn't homeschooled, you're bound to get bullied at least once in your life. But so is like, every openly queer kid, or gnc kid, or kid of color in some areas. Yes it is terrible and makes school a nightmare, and we need to help out bullied kids, but please don't make bullying the character defining trauma of your story. Because for most of us it's just a shitty thing that happened in high school at the end of the day. Like a pet that dies. You will think about it later in life, sure, but it's not that big of a deal anymore after it's over.

Eating

Some of us eat like shit and some of us eat pretty healthy and still stay overweight. Just like some people work really hard to stay skinny and some eat literally everything and are still a beanpole. That's just the luck of the gene-pool for you. Little hint if you're writing overweight families: trying to loose weight is often a team effort, and cooking healthy is often especially important to parents of overweight kids. But still, sometimes it just stays how it is. Also, just because I'm eating healthy does not mean I'm calorie counting.

Losing weight

Some of us get really frustrated and get to the brink of an ED to loose the weight, but I guess it makes them happy. Some just learn to be happy with the extra pounds. You decide which one your character will be. Not every fat person has to learn to accept themselves to live a fullfilled live. Some really need to lose the weight to be satisfied. And it's okay to write that, as long as you don't let the reader think it's the only solution.

Dating

Just like for most skinny people, dating is hard, but being in a relationship is easy. Once you find the one you want, weight doesn't really matter anymore.

But dating. Dating is hard.

Most fat people don't like blind dates. Because the chances are high your date will be disappointed. Or your friend who set you up thought so too, and therefore found another fat person who you have nothing in common with except your weight.

Online dating is pretty okay, but you will get shamed if it is not very clear in your profile that you are overweight.

You will also encounter some fetishists who want to fuck you because you're big. It's okay if your character into that, it's a great feeling of someone really wanting your body. And just because someone is fat it doesn't mean they can't have casual sex. Both with fetish people and other folks who just think you're hot.

(Also, this is just basic don't be racist advice, but please don't make every guy who likes big women black. It's not very accurate. Thank you.)

Alright, I think I covered a lot. If you have any questions or notice I missed something, hmu!

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