#qt.cult.fyo

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Ultima Sacrificium - Fyodor x Reader

Synopsys: The wolf and the lamb, it all comes full circle. Living in a cult was a beautiful lie, woven by those that claimed to love you.

Warnings: Fyodor, no ability au, graphic violence, mental and emotional manipulation, possessive behavior, cult themes and brainwashing, religion, moral ambiguity and ethical dilemmas, death (just lots of it)

A/N: This took two white nights to write I was high for most of it. I took a lot of inspiration from Midsommar and Kindred's lore (league) — thought it fit the relationship dynamic between Fyodor (a wolf in sheep's clothing) and the protagonist (a lamb). Enjoy :)

Word count: 8,800

"Once, long ago, there was a pale man with dark hair who lived in a world much like ours. But the pale man was terribly lonely. Why was he lonely? Well, you see, all things must meet this man one day, and so they feared him. They shunned him. They whispered his name with trembling voices and hid behind locked doors, hoping he might forget them. The pale man was patient, for he knew that time would bring all things to him eventually. Still, he wished for company, for understanding, for love. But how could he ever find such things when everyone turned away from him?" 

"The pale man grew tired of his solitude, so one day, he took up his axe and made a choice. With one swift swing, he split himself in two, right down the middle. From his pale form, two figures emerged. One half became a lamb, soft and gentle, with warm eyes and a voice like a lullaby. The lamb would comfort those who came to the pale man, wrapping them in its embrace, whispering sweet assurances: 'Do not fear, for I will make your passing gentle.' The lamb brought peace and stillness, a quiet that felt like a soft bed on a cold night." 

"The other half became a wolf, fierce and watchful, with sharp teeth and piercing eyes. The wolf would guard those who came to the pale man, protecting them from fear, doubt, and anything that might harm them in their final moments. 'Do not fear,' the wolf growled, 'for I will keep you safe as you walk into the unknown.' The wolf brought strength and courage, a shield to carry into the great beyond. Together, the lamb and the wolf made the pale man less frightening. No longer did the people shun him, for they saw in him not an end, but a promise. A promise that their journey would be gentle and strong, warm and brave, all at once." 

"Now, the pale man is never lonely. All things come to him in time, and when they do, they do not turn away. They open their arms to the lamb and the wolf, knowing that both will guide them to their destiny." 

Children are the fruit of society, and children were taught to see the world through stories like these. Some grew to be rotten, while others became little lambs—gentle, obedient, perfect for the herd. It was what society hoped for, and as a child, you were no different. Your parents told you bedtime tales of faith and sacrifice, and you learned that life in your community was a blessing. You had food and shelter. You were loved. You were taught to be kind and giving. These were virtues, they said, and to give back was the greatest blessing of all.

But as you grew older, the ways of giving back began to unsettle you. Were they truly necessary? Must they be so cruel? So violent? The gods demanded it—or so you were told. Your parents would never lie to you. The Shepherd would never lead you astray. He was chosen by the gods, blessed with their wisdom and charged with guiding you all. Surely, he only wanted what was best for you, for the community.

Yet, the thoughts prevailed, whispering doubts that you dared not voice. It must be your fault, you decided. Everyone else was content, even joyful. If you could not share in their faith, then something was wrong with you. These thoughts were dangerous, blasphemous, and you tried to bury them. But they had already taken root.

Your reflection was broken by the splash of something warm against your skin and applause that rippled through the crowd. Your senses snapped into focus, and you saw where you stood: the red square. Such a lovely place most days of the year, yet on days like today, bearing grim weights of tradition.

Before you lay a woman’s body, her head severed and resting at the base of a stone table. The table was stained with layers of sacrifice: black, brown, and the fresh crimson of her blood. Her hair, once long and red, was cut in two—strands still clinging to her head, framing her lifeless eyes, and another resting softly against her back, swaying in the breeze.

It was Gift Giving Day.

On paper, the celebration was a joyful offering of thanks to the gods for protection, for fertile harvests, for mercy from disasters. In truth, it demanded a human life, and  however you looked at it, you could not find peace in it.

The Shepherd’s voice boomed across the square, smooth and commanding. "My dear children, my fleecelings… another good harvest is upon us! We thank the gods for welcoming Karolina into their kingdom and for keeping us safe…”

You forced yourself to listen, masking your unease with a polite smile. He was a good man, wasn’t he? He stayed among the people, with the guidance of selflessness your mother so often spoke of. He loved your mother when they were all younger, but he took on the mantle of leadership because his people needed him, allowing your mother to be given to another. Yet was that ever truly a thought of your own? Or had it been drummed into you since you had gained a sense to understand it?

When you’re branded as part of the flock from childhood, perhaps it’s easier to believe the brand is part of you as an adult.

"... As for next year's gift," the Shepherd went on to say, "I plead with the ewes and wetherlings to come forth for the choosing!"

You stepped forward alongside others your age, the motion automatic, your breaths shallow. A part of you yearned to be chosen, to end the cycle of watching others die year after year. But fate was neither kind nor cruel—merely indifferent.

"Fyodor! My dear boy, come forth!"

The same fate fell, by a flick of an eye, on a dark haired and paled skinned boy. Fyodor had always seemed distant, as though he existed in a world apart, he rarely spoke, his expression unreadable, his eyes unfocused. His frail body could barely wield an axe, unlike the other boys. Yet now, a faint smile graced his lips as he stepped forward to accept the flower crown from the Shepherd.

You clapped along with the crowd, your forced smile hiding the churn of emotions in your chest. You hadn’t spoken much with Fyodor, but you didn’t want him—or anyone—to meet this fate. Yet the community’s expectations weighed heavy, and you were one person, too insignificant, to defy them.

Bath time—a sacred ritual in your home. It was a communal act where you sat shoulder to shoulder in the steaming water, exchanging quiet words with your neighbors and washing one another. It was meant to cultivate unity and cohesion, a sense of belonging. No one felt shame; the sight of everyone bare before each other was considered a blessing, a return to innocence as God had intended. It symbolized the absolution of the first sin—disobedience—and the renunciation of shame and knowledge of good and evil.

The bathhouse was vast, its walls lined with mosaics of the pale man, the lamb, and the wolf. Light poured through the domed glass ceiling, fracturing into kaleidoscopic patterns on the marble floors and casting the room in a serene glow. It was a cocoon of peace, but you found no solace in it. You sat in the water, apart from the muted hum of conversation around you, their words blurred together, echoing faintly, as your thoughts churned. Someone else would soon be sacrificed. Fyodor. How much weaker would his fasting leave him? How frail would his already frail body turn? The questions weighed heavy on your mind.

You cupped your hands, splashing the salted water onto your face in an effort to shake yourself loose from your thoughts. The warmth of the bath should have soothed you, but instead, it only managed to heighten the restless ache in your chest.

“(Y/N)…” A voice, quiet and almost gentle, pulled you out of your reverie. The gentle ripples in the water announced his approach before his words did. You didn’t need to turn to know who it was. Slowly, you glanced over your shoulder to meet sharp, dark eyes—Fyodor’s eyes. There was something magnetic about him, an allure that transcended his frail appearance. Perhaps it was his intellect, the spark of something greater that placed him at the forefront of the Gift Giving list. He could have been a leader, you thought, had he not been chosen to die so young.

“May I help with your back?” he asked, his voice soft but steady.

You nodded, a quiet hum of approval escaping your lips. It wasn’t unheard of for people to help one another wash, but it should have been the other way around. Fyodor, as the sacred fleece, was the one meant to be tended to, venerated. People would clamor for the chance to serve him, yet here he was, offering to serve you. The gesture struck you as strange, even kind. Perhaps you had misjudged him. Maybe he didn’t dislike you, as you’d once thought. Maybe you were simply two people who had never truly known one another.

His hand settled lightly on your shoulder, steadying you as he began brushing your back. His touch was soft, almost hesitant, yet firm enough to create a sharp contrast with the roughness of the bristles. The juxtaposition brought you back to your thoughts, unbidden questions rising to the surface. Why was he doing this? Why you? You were just another lamb in the flock, no more significant than the others waiting their turn for slaughter. Did anyone matter in the grand scheme of things?

“You flinched today,” Fyodor murmured, his voice cutting through the quiet. “During the prayer.”

He was right. When the axe fell, you’d instinctively closed your eyes, to shut yourself from the scene. You hadn’t realized anyone had noticed it. The memory brought a flush of heat to your cheeks, and the oppressive warmth of the bath made it hard to breathe.

“I didn’t mean to,” you whispered, shame creeping into your voice. “It’s just… it felt wrong. Celebrating this.” The words were out before you could stop them. Panic flared—what if he took this to the Shepherd or the Judge?

“Then you’re not as blind as the rest of them,” he said, his tone gentle, almost coaxing. His focus seemed more on his task than on your confession, but his words seemed to be more substantial, as if he held you in place. Your throat tightened, you could not vomit nor gulp down your words. “Do you really believe this is what the gods want?” Fyodor continued, his voice barely more than a whisper. “That spilling blood will make the crops grow, or keep the storms at bay?”

“It’s what we’ve been taught,” you replied, your voice trembling. “It’s what… everyone believes.” You wanted to defend your words, but they rang hollow even to your own ears.

“That may be what they believe,” he murmured, leaning closer, his hair brushed against your shoulder, his breath ghosting against the skin of your neck. “But not you. You see the sickness in this system, don’t you? You’ve felt it all your life but were too afraid to name it. Did you notice the storm last year, after the sacrifice? The gods didn’t seem pleased, did they?” He pulled back slightly, resuming his gentle strokes with the brush. His words were heresy, yet in his tone lay no fidgets, no show of discomfiture; quiet, almost serene.

You stared at the rippling water, your fingers now wrinkled and pruned. “I’ve noticed… things,” you admitted, the words soft, hesitant.

Fyodor hummed low in his throat, the sound more content than accusatory. “Good,” he said simply. His words wrapped around you like the steam rising from the bath, invasive yet oddly comforting. To the others in the room, it was nothing more than a simple act of communal care. But for Fyodor, it was something far more deliberate.

His gaze flickered briefly toward the Shepherd, visible through the mosaic-glass walls, speaking with a small cluster of elders. Fyodor leaned closer, his breath ghosting over your shoulder once more. “He watches you sometimes,” Fyodor murmured, his tone thoughtful, the words slipping into your mind like a dagger “I wonder why. It’s as if he’s searching for something.” You blinked, startled by the observation. Had you noticed? Maybe. There had been moments, fleeting and strange, when his gaze seemed heavier than it should have been. But no—no, it couldn’t mean anything. You didn't reply and tried to dismiss it—tried to bury the unease rising in your chest. His words, like everything else he said, felt both dangerous and true. 

The last sentences words lingered, like a noose in the air, as Fyodor quietly tended to your back.

It is tradition for the sacred fleece to be adored for the year. The chosen family is granted elevated status, moved to a new living space overseen by the Sheppard and Judge. Being selected as an offering is considered the highest honor, and the community celebrates it with fervor, but Fyodor saw it differently. He recognized long ago the sacrifice’s true purpose:  It kept the population docile and loyal because of fear and conditioning.

My taciturn had tipped them off, he thought bitterly. Perhaps if I seemed more brain-washed, then they wouldn’t have chosen me.

The selection, he knew, was rarely random. It was political, targeting those who dared to think too freely or challenge the system in subtle, unsettling ways. He despised their hypocrisy—the cunning way they cloaked control in the guise of divine will, using fear of the gods to tighten their grip over the community. But perhaps it was the only way to keep people from turning away. 

As for you, the thought of the sacrifice made your skin crawl. Your hair stood on end every time it was discussed, and your chest settled in a place of deep discomfort. But you never voiced your doubts. The community seemed so content, so pios. Surely, it was you who was wrong. Surely, you needed to be reformed.

Days turned into weeks as you found yourself looking at Fyodor differently. Something lingered in your mind—an ache, almost a longing. You remembered the way he spoke that day in the bathhouse, his words sounding like echoes that refused to fade. He understood something about you, about the restlessness you couldn’t name. Soon, though, he would be gone, sacrificed in a few months’ time. He was the only one who had ever made you feel less lonely, and now he would be lost, like so many others before him. The loneliness this thought stirred in you was deep and unshakeable.

You couldn’t help but cast lingering glances in his direction, hoping—foolishly, perhaps—that he would catch your eye and say something to you again. But he never did. At the next community feast, the monthly celebration following days of fasting, you stole another sidelong look at him. He was seated with his family at the center table, each of them adorned in flower crowns crafted by you and the others in the village.

Fyodor wore the one you had made, the only one woven with cornflowers. The blue-purple hue complemented his eyes, a detail you had noticed while weaving it. You didn’t realize you were staring until his gaze met yours. His gentle smile, soft and welcoming, sent your heart stuttering. You returned a small, hesitant smile before quickly looking back at your plate.

You didn’t want to think about his death. A year could pass so quickly, slipping through your fingers before you even realized it.

The soft clatter of plates echoed in the grand dining hall was a far cry from the cheerful celebration that had filled it hours ago. The other young women and men hummed and chattered as they worked, their hands moving in a practiced rhythm. You, however, labored in relative silence, a heaven in the monotony of it. Each swipe of the cloth, each stack of plates, served to dull the noise in your head—if only for a moment.

But the reprieve was short-lived.

“You made this one, didn’t you?”

The voice, low and unmistakably familiar, startled you. You whipped around to find Fyodor standing right behind you, holding the wreath of flowers between his slender fingers. The cornflowers stood out against the pale hue of his hands, the same way they had against his dark hair and fair skin earlier.

Your heart quickened. “I—I did,” you stuttered, not quite knowing what to say.

His smile deepened, soft but deliberate. “It’s beautiful. The craftsmanship is… meticulous.” He turned the crown gently in his hands, as if admiring its every petal and weave. “You’ve a gift for creation, I see.”

You felt yet again a suffocating heat rise to your cheeks at his praise, and you quickly looked down at the plates you were drying. “It’s nothing, really. Just something small. Anyone could have done it.”

“But they didn’t,” he countered, his tone smooth and confident. “You did. And it shows.” You bit the inside of your cheek, unsure how to respond. Compliments were not uncommon in the village, but something about the way Fyodor spoke to you felt different—personal, intentional. “May I help?” he asked, gesturing to the plates.

You blinked at him, confused. “You shouldn’t… You’re the sacred fleece. It wouldn’t be proper.”

“Proper,” he repeated, his smile faltering for a moment as his eyes darkened. “I tire of what’s ‘proper.’ Surely it wouldn’t offend the gods for me to lend a hand, would it?”

You hesitated, unsure whether to agree. But he didn’t wait for your answer, stepping closer and picking up a damp cloth. His movements were slow and deliberate, as though testing the boundaries of this small rebellion. The two of you worked in silence for a moment, the air between you charged with an unspoken tension. Finally, he broke it.

“Do you ever wonder,” he began, his voice low enough that only you could hear, “why we fast before we feast? Why we deprive ourselves, only to indulge?”

You glanced at him, taken aback by the question. “It’s… to show devotion. To the gods.”

He hummed thoughtfully, as though weighing his decision by your words. “Devotion,” he repeated. “It’s a curious thing, isn’t it? How easily it can be mistaken for fear.” His words sent a shiver down your spine. You glanced around, suddenly aware of how close he was standing, of how his voice seemed to put you in a trance.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” you said, though the slight tremor in your voice betrayed you, you knew exactly what he was talking about.

He paused, setting down the cloth and turning to face you fully. “Perhaps you do,” he murmured, his gaze piercing. “Or perhaps you will, in time.” For a moment, neither of you said a word. The sounds of the other people cleaning seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the heavy weight of his words hanging in the air between you, pulling you under and drowning you.

“You have a gift,” he said finally, his voice soft but firm. “Not just for making flower crowns or weaving cloth. You see things others don’t. You feel things we’ve been taught to ignore.” You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came. Instead, you found yourself looking into his eyes, searching for some hint of what he meant, of what he saw in you. “I only hope,” he continued, his tone barely less wistful, “that when the time does come, you’ll trust what you see—and trust me.”

Before you could respond, one of the older women called you for help with the larger platters, breaking the moment. Fyodor stepped back, the faintest smile playing on his lips as he bowed his head slightly.

“Good night, (Y/N),” he said, his voice carrying a warmth that lingered even after he turned and walked away.

You stood there for a moment, clutching the cloth in your hands, your mind aflame. His words echoed in your ears, stirring a very strange mix of fear and hope. Trust what you see. Trust me.

For the next few nights, sleep eluded you. Fyodor’s words replayed in your mind over and over again, each phrase eating away all other thoughts. His certainty disturbed you—not because you doubted his sincerity, but because it awoke something within you. The realization was almost too heavy to bear: if you wanted change, you would have to reach for it yourself. But how could you, alone?

When the message came—a whispered request to meet him in the forest clearing—a thrill stirred uneasily in your chest. It wasn’t proper to meet him like this, not when he was supposed to be praying and meditating in solitude as part of his sacred duties. But propriety seemed increasingly irrelevant at this point.

The moonlight bathed the clearing, lending a ghostly glow to the figure who awaited you, it seemed almost surreal. Fyodor stood at the center, his white garments clinging to his frail frame, his flesh paler than usual—proof of the toll fasting had taken. You did not know where his kosovorotka ended and where his skin started. He turned as you approached, a weary soft smile oozed onto his lips.

“You came,” he murmured, his voice carrying a quiet warmth that made the hair on your arms quiver.

You stopped a few feet away, uncertain of how close was too close. “You asked,” you replied softly. “I… couldn’t refuse.”

His smile widened slightly, though his amethyst eyes glinted with something deeper, sharper. “You’ve been restless,” he said, more a statement than a question. “Our last conversation... it’s been weighing on you.”

You hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. “I’ve been… thinking,” you admitted. “About what you said. About… everything.”

“Good,” he said simply, taking a step closer. “That’s the first step—thinking. But thinking alone won’t change anything.”

Your breath hitched. “And what would? What can I do? I’m just one person.”

“So am I,” he countered, his tone firm yet kind. “But together, we’re more.”

You frowned, searching his face for some hint of what he meant. He met your gaze unflinchingly, his eyes piercing through your uncertainty. “I know the way,” he said, his voice low and steady, each word a promise. “Let me show you. And we can cleanse them together.”

His last word echoed in your mind: together. He wanted you to help him. To stand by his side in this unthinkable mission. He wanted to make the community a better place—to rid it of the Gift Giving Day and its sacrifices. It was what you had secretly longed for, what you had thought impossible. Yet hearing it spoken aloud felt like standing on the edge of a precipice.

“Fyodor…” you murmured, your voice barely audible. His gaze held yours, firm, almost devouring. “How… how do you plan to do this? With only the two of us?”

He smiled weakly, as though he’d expected the question. “Trust is a luxury few can afford,” he said. “Especially in this place, under these circumstances. But you—” he paused, studying your face intently, “—you don’t realize it yet, do you? You’re different from the rest of them. You see the cracks in their perfect little world. That’s why I chose you.”

Your heart was racing from his words. "Why me?" you whispered.

His expression softened, and he reached for your hand. Slowly, deliberately, he turned it over, tracing the lines of your palm with a fingertip. The touch was featherlight, yet it sent an electric jolt through you. “This,” he murmured, his voice low and contemplative, “is the hand of someone who wants to save the people.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. He lifted his own hand, pressing his palm to yours, as though comparing them. “We are the same,” he said softly, his voice carrying the weight of conviction. “We want to make a change—for the betterment of our community.”

His fingers laced through yours, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. The intimacy of the gesture, the way his eyes searched yours for an answer, left you breathless. “You’re right,” you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. “We are alike.”

His smile returned, softer this time, but no less determined. “Do you trust me?”

You hesitated, the weight of the moment pushing down on you. But as his words, his presence, filled the silence between you, something inside you shifted. “I trust you, Fyodor,” you finally said, your voice steady though a tempest swirled in your chest.

His smile deepened, and he squeezed your hand again, as though sealing an unspoken pact. “Good,” he said, so plainly.

Winter

Every great plan has steps, though Fyodor felt the need to gradually explain everything, taking one baby step at a time—his words, not yours. The first step was simple, really. He wanted to show the people that the doctrines and preaches of the Sheppard and Judge were nothing but empty words. They were fundamental to this community, to the ‘salvation’ of the people, yet they didn’t walk the path they preached, and certainly, they didn’t know every word by heart—again, Fyodor’s words.

A part of you was still unsure, still clinging to the belief that the larger community was right, and maybe, just maybe, you and Fyodor were the just outsiders. Maybe we are wrong. But every time Fyodor spoke, that doubt felt more and more remote, buried under the weight of his unwavering certainty. “Those are the words they use to control us,” he had said, quietly but with sharpness in his voice. “They preach salvation, but they never walk the path they claim to, do they?” There was something unmistakable in the way he said it, a quiet accusation that seemed to grow louder with each passing day.

You didn’t speak at first, but a part of you—one that had always questioned, always wondered—began to listen. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps the things you’d been taught, the things you’d always believed, weren’t what they seemed. 

Fyodor’s plan was simple, almost too simple. He would subtly distract the Sheppard during the church service, while you sneaked away before the sermon to rip a few pages from the tome the leader was meant to preach from. Disarm him of his words, Fyodor had said. It wouldn’t hurt anyone—not directly. And if Fyodor was wrong, if the Sheppard did indeed know the words in the book by heart, then perhaps you could walk this path of reform together. You could still fix everything. You could undo what had been broken.

The weight of the plan pressed down on your chest as you quietly took the pages from the tome, the paper crinkling beneath your fingers. You slipped them into the pocket your heart racing. The deed was done, and you weren’t quite sure if it was a victory or a betrayal. You felt that familiar pull of doubt claw at your insides, but Fyodor’s steady presence beside was enough to slightly anchor you to the present. We’re doing the right thing, his eyes seemed to say every time they met yours.

When you sat down beside him on the pew, you didn’t even realize how tightly you were pressed against his side. You were still tense, the guilt from what you’d just done gnawing at you, your chest burned — oh how you wish you could burn everything down and not have to bear the weight of your actions. Fyodor didn’t say a word. He merely let you lean into him, his silence an unsaid reassurance. He knew you were ill at ease, but he didn’t push you, never urged you towards speech. The sermon started, and your mind wandered right back to the missing pages, your stomach tight with the knowledge that the Sheppard would notice soon.

As the Sheppard reached the point where the pages should have been, you saw the flicker of panic in his eyes. He faltered for only a second, but it was enough. His smooth composure cracked down like a Prince Rupert's drop, and he tried to cover it up, but you could see it—could see him struggling to maintain control in front of his congregation. Your stomach dropped, the tension in the room thickening.

Fyodor sat beside you, still and calm. You caught in his eye the faintest glint of satisfaction, something darker behind the quiet pride. The faintest hint of triumph danced in his expression, as if this was only the beginning. “See how fragile the illusion was?” His voice was low, barely a whisper “How quickly it falls when you expose their lies.”

You couldn’t help but glance at him, his words ringing in your head. Was it really an illusion? The Sheppard had looked so untouchable—so sure of himself. You had never dared to question his authority, never thought to doubt the very bedrock of your faith. But now, as Fyodor’s gaze met yours, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—the world had been built on nothing more than lies.

Your heart beat loudly in your chest, the weight of what you’d done sinking in. This wasn’t just a small step anymore. You had helped tear down something sacred, something people had built their lives upon. And yet, Fyodor's presence beside you steadied your resolve, as if his belief in this mission was enough to carry you through the uncertainty.

Spring

Vernal came as a season of ephemeral promise of renewal, the fields suddenly bursting with color and air alive with the pulse of warmth. The community prepared for the flower dance, a sacred tradition meant to honor the gods for favors received during in the harsh winter and reaffirm their devotion. The villager folk adorned themselves with garlands of freshly plucked flowers, their laughter echoing in the air as they wove intricate crowns and looped floral chains around their wrists.

You, too, wore a crown—a delicate circle of violets and daisies that your friends had insisted you wear. It felt heavier than it should, its vibrant beauty clashing with the weight of your thoughts. For tonight, Fyodor had chosen the next step in your shared quest. The supply house, a monument to what the leaders took from and doled back out to the people, was to burn under the cover of darkness. But for now, you stood amidst the celebration, caught between the life you knew and the path you had begun to walk with him.

The dancing of flowers began at twilight, when the village square glowed with the light of torches and the Shepherd and Judge took their seats on an raised wooden platform. They watched the revelry unfold with expressions of practiced benevolence, their presence a subtle reminder of the community's rigid structure. The dancers, linked hand in hand, moved in concentric circles, their feet beating a steady rhythm against the ground. The steps were simple yet hypnotic, a weaving of bodies and flowers that seemed to pull the onlookers into its spell.

You joined the outermost circle, your hand clasped tightly in a neighbor’s, but your eyes strayed to Fyodor. He lingered on the edges of the crowd, a wraith in white. Even if he wanted to join he couldn't, the physical strain the dance had on the body was too much for his condition, leaving him lightheaded and prone to fainting. He watched the leaders with barely concealed contempt. But when his gaze met yours, something softened in his expression. He inclined his head slightly, a wordless reminder of the task ahead.

Your feet flared for one short second, breaking the rhythm of the dance for the briefest moment. The woman beside you glanced at you in concern, but you got your footing back, forcing a smile as your heart pounded in your chest. Fyodor’s eyes stayed on you for a second longer before he slipped away into the shadows.

When the dance ended and the villagers started to scatter, Fyodor found you near the edge of the square. He didn’t speak at first, his presence a quiet anchor amidst the revelry. It wasn’t until the distant sound of the Judge’s laughter reached your ears that he finally said, “Do you see how they watch us? How they bask in their power, even as they pretend to celebrate with us?”

You looked toward the platform where the Shepherd and Judge still sat, their eyes sweeping over the dispersing crowd like hawks watching their prey. The unease you had felt all evening finally bubbled to the top, but you nodded. “Yes,” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

Fyodor stepped closer, his voice low and deliberate. “They control everything—what we eat, what we believe, even how we dance. Tonight, we take that control away from them. It’s a small step, but it’s necessary.”

His words wrapped around you like a shroud, silencing the part of you that still hesitated. “But the people…” you began, your voice faltering. “The supplies… won’t they suffer?”

Fyodor’s expression softened, and for a moment, you thought you saw genuine compassion in his eyes. “Yes,” he admitted. “But sometimes, suffering is the only way to wake people from their complacency. They need to see that their leaders cannot protect them, that the gods they worship are powerless to stop what’s coming.”

He reached out, his fingers brushing against yours in a fleeting touch. “Trust me. It is essential...”

As the echoes of laughter and music faded into the night, you slipped away with Fyodor, hearts pounding in tandem with the thrill of what was to come—and the weight of what it meant. The storage cabin loomed ahead, limned by the moonlight on its wooden frame. It seemed almost alive, a sentinel of the community’s lifeblood, and your hesitation felt like a betrayal of its quiet presence. But you pressed on, following Fyodor’s unwavering lead.

Inside, the air was heavy with the scent of dried grass and stored grain. You worked in tense silence, stuffing chaff into corners, cramming the cracks of the small room with anything that would catch quickly. Your hands moved on autopilot, though every movement screamed at you to stop. This would hurt people. Families. Yet each time doubt clawed its way to the surface, you’d glance at Fyodor—his calm, his resolve, his quiet conviction—and something in you would steady, if only for a moment.

When the cabin was filled with enough tinder to guarantee its destruction, Fyodor stepped back, surveying the space with a critical eye. His gaze landed on you, and he lingered, a strange warmth flickering in his expression despite the coldness of the act. He struck a match, the hiss of ignition startling in the silent room.

His eyes met yours, the flame dancing shadows over his keen features. “This is necessary,” he murmured, as much to himself as to you.

He held the match a moment too long, its light trembling between his fingers before he let it drop. The fire caught immediately, spreading with an unnatural greed, and you flinched as the heat licked at your skin. Fyodor didn’t flinch. He grabbed your hand and led you out swiftly, his grip firm but not unkind.

You emerged into the cool night, the smell of smoke chasing after you. By the time the fire fully took, you were standing among your families and neighbors, blending into the crowd as if you had nothing to hide. The cabin was an inferno, flames twisting and writhing against the dark sky. The air was filled with the acrid scent of burning supplies and the muted gasps of your fellow villagers.

You watched the fire burn, your heart heavy and your stomach twisting with guilt. What had you done? How many would go hungry now? Would they blame you—if only they knew—or the gods?

The Shepherd and Judge stood before the crowd, their faces masks of authority as they did their best to placate the people. The Shepherd’s voice rang out, promising reassurance, spinning stories of divine testing and unshaken faith. But his words fell flat. You could see it in the eyes of the villagers—fear, not of the leaders, but of their helplessness. If the Shepherd and Judge couldn’t protect them, if the gods they worshipped demanded so much yet gave so little… what was left for them?

Beside you, Fyodor’s expression remained composed, his features illuminated by the flickering glow of the flames. Yet, as the fire crackled and the crowd’s uneasy murmurs grew, he turned slightly toward you, his voice low, intimate. "This... it couldn’t have happened without you.” His gaze met yours, steady and intent, as if he could see the storm of emotions roiling within you. The faintest trace of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips—not smug, but almost tender. His hand brushed against yours briefly, the touch grounding in its subtlety.

“You were brave,” he murmured, his voice carrying an almost dangerous sincerity. “More than anyone else here. They’re still trapped, still blind. But...—"

"...—We will show them the light" You softly cut him off. He smiled gently, his hand brushed lightly against yours once more—so fleeting it could almost be imagined—yet it stayed you in ways words couldn't.

The crowd began to murmur, uncertainty rolling through them like a restless tide. The Shepherd barked orders to his Judge, but there was a crack in his commanding tone, a tremor that betrayed his fear. He was losing control, and everyone could feel it.

You looked back at the fire, the embers glowing like distant stars, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that this was more than destruction. Perhaps it was the start of something new.

Summer

You had come so far, yet progress felt agonizingly elusive. Each act you and Fyodor committed against the cult chipped away at the illusion of its sanctity, but the larger structure stood resolute. Fyodor’s sacrifice loomed just two weeks away, a date you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. Every mention of Gift Giving Day wrapped a tight coil of dread around you.

It couldn’t end this way. Not after everything.

Desperation drove you to find Fyodor one sultry summer night. You found him beneath the canopy of an old willow, his slender form outlined by the moonlight. He turned at your approach, his amethyst gaze softening when it met yours. “We’ve done so much,” you murmured, your voice trembling as your fingers twisted the fabric of your garments. “And it’s still not enough. I... I don’t want to see you go.”

Fyodor studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before stepping closer. His hands, delicate yet firm, reached for your chin, tilting your face toward him. “It will be okay,” he said, his voice steady but laced with something softer, almost tender. “I’ve prepared something for us. One last step to free everyone. I will not abandon you, dearest.” His thumb stroked your cheek, sending a shiver through you. “You have no idea how precious you are—not just to me, but to this cause. I won’t let anyone, or anything, take that from us.”

His words wrapped around you, both a balm and a tether, as he revealed the final phase of his plan: the elimination of the cult’s leaders. For the betterment of the community: They must fall

You choked on your own saliva, pulling away from him, every inch of your body tense. The suggestion felt like a violation of the very ideals you were fighting for. “Are we not doing the same as them?” you argued, your voice cracking under the weight of your conviction. “Taking a life to suit our own needs?”

Fyodor remained composed and patient, though urgency flickered in his tone. “This is not the same,” he said, his voice measured. “They’ve built their power on the lives of others—on fear, manipulation, and blood. This is a small sacrifice to honor those who’ve suffered and to free those who remain shackled.”

His stayed with you, finding cracks in your resolve over the following days. Memories of last season when the shed burnt down, the suffering of the people, their hunger while the Shepherd and Judge indulged in excess, gnawed at you. The weight of time pressed down, and you couldn’t ignore the urgency. With Fyodor’s sacrifice approaching, you found yourself reluctantly agreeing to the plan.

The Shepherd would be the first.

Fyodor, weakened by fasting, lacked the physical strength to carry out the act himself. He guided your trembling hands to the axe’s handle, his voice low and encouraging. “Do it for them. For their salvation. You’ll see—it’s the only way.”

It was a chilly quiet night. 

The Shepherd’s chambers were dark, thick air with the scent of wine and old parchments. Fyodor stood outside, his figure barely visible through the crack in the door as you stepped inside with the axe concealed behind you. The Shepherd sat slumped in a wooden chair, a half-empty goblet of wine swaying in his hand.

“Ah, child,” he slurred, his gaze fighting to focus on you. “What brings you here at this hour? Troubles of the soul?”

You nodded, your throat dry. “I... I needed to confess something. To speak with you alone.”

He waved his hand lazily, gesturing for you to approach. “Then speak, my child. The Shepherd is always here to guide his flock.”

As you inched closer, the axe hidden behind your back, he rambled on, his words becoming less and less coherent. Then, suddenly, his tone changed. “Do you know,” he began, his voice slurred with wine, “that I’m your true father?”

Your heart went cold, and you nearly let the axe fall from your grasp.

He let out a bitter chuckle and reached for another drink. “Left you with that fool, your mother’s husband. Had no time to raise a child when the gods demanded my service. But I suppose it’s all... come full circle.” Shock seized you where you stood, the metal felt impossibly heavy in your hands as his words echoed in your ears. He was your father? The man whose sermons had shaped your entire life? The very leader whose tyranny you sought to destroy?

He rambled on, his words grew softer until he nodded his head forward, asleep in his chair. The room fell silent except for your ragged breaths. When Fyodor entered, sensing your hesitation, his sharp gaze darted between you and the sleeping Shepherd, and you explained the situation in a whisper. And for the first time ever, you saw something like surprise in his expression, but it hardened quickly into resolve.

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” Fyodor whispered, his voice sharp, sharper than what you are used to hearing from him. His words pierced through the haze of your confusion, his presence a cold, steady force grounding you in the suffocating weight of the moment. “He may have fathered you, but he abandoned that role long ago. He is as valuable to this world as a walking corpse.”

You swallowed hard, your throat dry and aching. “But he—he’s my blood. What if he—”

Fyodor stepped closer to you, his hands hovering just above yours as you clutched the axe. “He has taken everything from you, from us, from them,” he murmured, his voice softening just enough to feel personal. “Do you want to go back to being their lamb, waiting to be slaughtered? Is that the life you choose after everything we’ve done?” He gestured to the sleeping man before you, his voice turned urgent, almost desperate. “This is your moment. Take it.”

Your vision blurred with tears, but his words echoed in your mind, warring with the voice that screamed against this violence. The axe trembled in your hands, its weight unbearable. The man before you, your supposed father, lay slumped in his chair, wholly unaware of the maelstrom raging in your heart. You tightened your grip, breathing shallow and rapid. The room seemed to tilt around you, the seconds crawling into eons while the world narrowed to the rise and fall of his chest and the chilling presence of Fyodor at your side. Slowly, you raised the axe, tears streaking your face.

When you brought it down, the impact reverberated through your entire body, a sickening crack filling the room. You gasped, stumbling back as the Shepherd slumped forward, lifeless. The silence that followed was deafening, your breaths ragged and uneven as you stared at your blood-stained hands. The axe slipped from your grasp, clattering to the floor. You turned to Fyodor, your legs trembling beneath you. “I... I...” Words failed you as sobs overtook your body.

Fyodor stepped forward, his arms encircling you in an embrace that was unexpectedly warm and steady. You buried your face against his chest, shaking uncontrollably. “Shh,” he murmured, his voice softer than you’d ever heard. His hands rubbed soothing circles against your back. “You’ve done so well. It’s over now. It’s over.”

But it wasn’t over. The next morning, they found the Shepherd’s body. You hadn’t even tried to hide it. You didn’t care. All you could think about was the blood on your hands and the look on his face before you swung the axe. The Shepherd’s death sent shockwaves through the community. Whispers spread like wildfire, murmurs of unease weaving through the congregation. The Judge, desperate to maintain his grip, moved Gift Giving Day closer, hoping to reassert control. But the cracks were already visible. The people’s faith in their leaders, once unshakable, had begun to unravel.

As the day of the ritual arrived, the air was thick with tension. Fyodor knelt in the red square, his frame frail from fasting but his presence unyielding. The Judge stood behind him, addressing the crowd with fervor that bordered on hysteria. His voice thundered over the square, but there was a desperation in his tone, a fragility beneath the surface.

You stood hidden among the throng, the weight of the axe once again heavy in your hands. Every step forward felt like wading through quicksand. Your mind raced, the memory of the Shepherd’s death haunting you with every heartbeat. The crowd swayed, their heads bowed in solemn reverence as the Judge raised his arms, calling for unity and sacrifice.

This was it.

Your breath hitched as you stepped out of the shadows, weaving through the congregation. Nobody noticed you at first, your movements swallowed by the sheer number of bodies. The closer you came, the louder the Judge’s voice grew, his words grating against your ears. Finally, you stood behind him, so close you could hear the strain in his breathing. Your fingers tightened around the axe, your pulse roaring in your ears. The world seemed to hold its breath as you raised the weapon, the weight of the moment bearing down on you.

With a swift motion, you brought the axe down, lodging it into the back of his neck. The sound of steel meeting flesh was sickening, a visceral, wet crunch that silenced the square. Blood sprayed in a gruesome arc as the Judge lurched forward, collapsing onto the stone table. His body twitched once, then stilled, his voice silenced forever. The crowd erupted in chaos, gasps and cries rippling through the congregation. For a moment, you stood frozen, the bloodied axe still clutched in your hands, your heart pounding so hard you thought it might break free through your ribcage.

Then, Fyodor rose.

Despite his weakened frame, he exuded an aura of quiet authority, his voice cutting through the panic like a blade. “The gods have spoken,” he declared, his tone calm yet commanding. “The leaders were corrupt. Their reign is over.” The crowd fell silent, their fear and confusion turning to awe as Fyodor stepped forward. His gaze swept over the congregation, landing briefly on you before returning to the people. He extended a hand, beckoning for you to stand beside him. “We have seen the truth” he continued, his voice rich with conviction. “And together, we shall guide you to the promised salvation.”

The people’s eyes pierced into your very soul, their expressions a mix of hope and uncertainty. Fyodor took your hand in his, the gesture both possessive and protective, grounding you yet again in the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

The air was heavy with the scent of incense and the faint metallic tang of blood, the detritus of the chaos that had led to this moment. The congregation outside still whispered Fyodor’s name with a mix of awe and fear, their voices carried by the wind into the quiet chamber. The room was dim, lit only by the flickering glow of a solitary candle, its light casting a long shadow across the newly ordained leaders of the flock.

You sat on the edge of a plain wooden bench, the ceremonial white garment draped over your frame feeling heavier than any armor. Its pristine folds were a cruel irony against the weight of your sins. Fyodor stood before you, his dark attire stark against the pale hues of your robes. The intricate wolf motif embroidered into his cloak seemed to ripple with life in the wavering candlelight, a predator looming over its prey.

He stepped closer, the movement slow and deliberate. His pale hand reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face with a gentleness that felt both comforting and unnerving. His eyes, sharp and unyielding, softened for a moment as he looked down at you. “You’ve been my strength through this,” he murmured, his voice as smooth as silk yet edged with something darker. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

You leaned into his touch, seeking peace in the familiarity of his presence despite the emotions roiling inside you. His lips brushed your forehead, the gesture lingering—an offering of comfort, yet unmistakably possessive. It was as if he claimed you in that kiss, silently binding you to him in a way that words never could.

As his arms encircled you, a shard of the Pale Man’s tale drifted to the surface of his mind. The wolf protects the lamb not out of kindness, but because he cannot bear to let anyone else devour her. Fyodor’s thoughts mirrored that very sentiment as he held you close, his expression almost content. To him, you were no mere lamb to be devoured by others; you were his lamb, precious and irreplaceable. The world could burn, the gods themselves could fall silent, but he would not let you go.

You closed your eyes, resting your head against his chest. The beat of his heart was steady, grounding, but it did little to soothe the ache within your own. You had survived, yes. Together, you had dismantled the foundations of this twisted faith. Yet, as Fyodor stood poised to guide the cult into a new era, the sin staining your hands felt like it would never wash away.

When the murmurs of the crowd grew louder, Fyodor pulled away, his hand lingering on your shoulder. “It’s time,” he said, his voice commanding yet calm. He turned to his right, with that inky mantle billowing out behind him as he moved to address your people. You followed, your white garments out of place on the dark path before you. The symbolism was unmistakable: the wolf and the lamb, stepping out as one. As Fyodor ascended the steps of the altar, his gaze swept over the gathered flock. “The gods have chosen us,” he declared, his voice cutting through the air like a blade. “Together, we will lead you to salvation.”

The people bowed their heads, their faith in their new leaders palpable despite the lingering unease in the air. You stood beside him, the vision of purity and sacrifice, your presence cementing the narrative he wove so expertly. As Fyodor raised his hands to the sky, the crowd chanted his and your name. You couldn’t help but glance at him, his sharp features illuminated by the flickering torchlight. Despite everything, a small, bitter smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

Finally, the wolf and the lamb had found their place at last. But at what cost?

Credit for difivers: saradika-graphics

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Creatura innocentiae - Fyodor x Reader

PART I PART II

Synopsys: In a secluded village ruled by devotion, where sacrifice is a form of love and faith demands blood, you are forced to choose between Scylla and Charybdis.

Warnings: No ability au, cult themes, religion, manipulation, murder, death, graphic violence and depiction of blood, dehumanization, power imbalance in relationships, emotional and physical abuse, self-harm, gaslighting, brainwashing, philosophical musings on love, faith, and autonomy.

These themes will be present throughout all parts of this fic. Please read with caution and take care of your mental well-being. If any of these themes are distressing to you, proceed carefully or consider skipping this fic.

A/N: The people have asked, and so here it is—another story featuring cult Fyodor! (Note: This is not a continuation of Ultima Sacrificium). This will be a multiple-part series, an undertaking that has me shaking in my boots. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I enjoy writing it!

Word Count: 7,200

What is love, exactly?  

Is it the absence of fear—the willingness to be vulnerable? To let yourself be known, to be accepted, and in turn, to know and accept another? Or is it something darker: a devouring hunger, the need to consume until the lines between you blur and dissolve?  

Perhaps love is neither of these. Perhaps love is sacrifice.  

That is what you’ve been taught. That is what you’ve always known.  

Love is the red that stains your hands, the warmth that spills from you into the chalice, filling it until it overflows. Love is the smile of the priestess as she raises the cup to the heavens, the murmured prayers of your people as they partake of your offering. It is the ache in your body after each cut, the burning sting that lingers long after the blade is gone.  

You were born with a gift, the blood of apostles coursing through your veins. Your mother tells you this gift sets you apart—makes you holy. Your lineage is pure, unbroken since the time of the first apostle, the one who communed with God and returned with commandments and covenants carved into his flesh. You are the living proof of that covenant, a vessel of divine will.  

Your blood is sacred. Your body, an altar.  

You are also her favorite lamb.  

The priestess—the High Priestess, your mother—says so often. She says it when her hand cups your cheek and her eyes gleam with pride. She says it when she watches you kneel, docile and sweet, always so docile and sweet, before the altar. You hold very still when they put the rope around your neck, your heart calm, your steps obedient. You trot along so happily when they lead you to the place of sacrifice.  

They do not even have to tie you down. You lie so very still.  

When the blade comes down, it cuts through you like butter. You offer no resistance. You bleed so prettily all over the white robe that marks your holiness. When the crimson pours from you, it is beautiful, they say. It runs smooth and golden, like delicious honey. 

God herself whispers to the High Priestess that you are her favorite lamb. You are the lamb with the softest wool, the lamb with the sweetest eyes, the lamb with the most trusting gait. Your cries are the prettiest, your bell the shiniest. When the blade cuts, your blood flows clean, your flesh opens like a ribbon unwinding, like shining yarn spinning out onto the altar, sacred and infinite.  

And your eyes—your animal, dumb eyes—hold no accusation.  

This is why they love you. This is why they call you blessed. You are the lamb who gives everything and asks for nothing. You do not fight, you do not bite. You do not make them see the burden they place on you.  

You are God’s gift, her favorite. That is why they love you.  

It is another lovely morning. The village has gathered in the grand wooden church to welcome a new life into the fold. The High Priestess, rests her hand on your shoulder as she recites from the tome, her voice soft yet commanding. Your thoughts drift, not to her words but to the bundle of innocence on the altar.  

The child’s arrival is a reminder of the cycle: birth, sacrifice, and servitude. The blood that flows through you—the divine gift passed down from generation to generation—will now mark another soul. Another child to be bound to the community. Another life to be claimed by God.  

Your father stands at the edge of the ceremony, as he always does. His gaze is downcast, his presence barely noticeable beside your mother’s radiance. He is a quiet man, small and obedient, a shadow of the High Priestess’s power. You often wonder what your father might have been like before your mother. What parts of himself he sacrificed to remain in her orbit.  

You kneel before the child, the robe you wear heavy with the weight of your purpose. Though you are an adult, the sheltered life you have lived has left you unformed in ways you cannot explain. Your days are dictated by rituals, by prayers and offerings, by the endless cycle of giving. You have never left the village. You have never known a moment where your body was not watched, your steps not dictated by the expectations of others.  

Your mother calls you divine. You feel more like an artifact—precious but inanimate, bound to the will of those who hold you.  

Her hands, as always, are warm as they guide you.  

You hold out your hand, trembling slightly. The baby’s forehead is smooth, untouched by the world, unmarked by sacrifice. Your blood, drawn from your palm, pools into the small silver chalice. The room is silent but for the murmurs of anticipation. Every gaze is fixed upon you.  

The blade, your constant companion, is an extension of your soul. It cuts so effortlessly—an offering so pure, so sacred. You dip your fingers into the chalice, the blood still warm, and trace the child’s forehead with the mark of the divine.  

The seal that binds this child to the community. The mark that ties them to you and the God you both serve.  

“In the name of our God,” you intone, your voice steady, though your heart wavers. “I bless thee with the blood of divinity. May you give as freely as she does, and may your soul be as pure.”  

The crowd bows their heads in reverence. The baby is returned to its mother, who smiles with quiet joy. You watch, still kneeling, your fingers stained red with the blood that defines you.  

This is love, isn’t it?  

To give everything of yourself until there is nothing left. To be adored not for who you are, but for what you provide.  

But somewhere, in the deepest part of you, a quiet voice whispers: If love is sacrifice, why?

Why does it feel so much like theft?

The sun dips low on the horizon, painting the valley in hues of molten gold and soft pink. The flames crackle in the rustic heart of the community, surrounded by dirt paths and timber homes adorned with garlands of wildflowers. Chants ripple through the gathered crowd, a haunting melody that rises and falls like a breath.  

As you walk among them, hands reach out, brushing against your robes, grazing your fingertips. You keep your eyes cast low, always aware of the weight of their touch. They call you their savior, their precious lamb. They murmur soft praises, their voices as reverent as the prayers they whisper to the heavens. You smile at them all, meek and kind, because that is what they expect of you.  

Because that is what you are.  

But you are not part of their revelry—not truly. You are both above it and apart from it. Too sacred for the mundane, yet too ensnared to escape.  

They came, as they always do, led by one of the cult’s missionaries—strangers seeking sanctuary, redemption, or something they cannot name. A group of four approaches the square, their steps hesitant yet guided by curiosity. Among them, one figure stands out.  

Unlike his companions, who wear expressions of tentative hope or awe, this man moves with unsettling calm. His dark coat sways with each step, and his pale hands rest idly at his sides. His gaze, sharp as razor, sweeps over the scene, lingering on the faces of the villagers who rush forward to greet them. Children dart past him, their laughter ringing as they offer garlands of wildflowers. Women follow, balancing baskets of bread on their hips, their blessings a cascade of honeyed words.  

The villagers’ warmth finds little purchase in him. He bows his head briefly but does not take the offered garland. The refusal isn’t rude—it is deliberate, as though he already knows the weight of the rituals and chooses not to sully them with empty gestures.  

You watch from the edge of the square, though you hadn’t intended to join the crowd. Your role as the sacrificial vessel makes you a fixture in the community, both revered and burdened, and yet his gaze finds you as if drawn by some invisible force.  

When your eyes meet, the world narrows. His are a shade of purple you cannot place—endless, like a winter river, a color that doesn’t belong in the warmth of the valley. A quiet stirring blooms in your chest, like the first pang of a wound, and you quickly look away.  

The High Priestess emerges from the crowd, her presence as commanding and warm as the rising sun. The villagers part instinctively, their heads bowing as she passes. Her voice, kind yet unyielding, carries through the square.  

“Welcome,” she says, her smile practiced and serene. “You have come far to join us. We are honored to receive you.”  

The missionary steps forward, clasping his hands together in reverence. “Mother Maria, these are the seekers I found beyond the valley. They have come to learn the truth, to find purpose in our fold.”

The High Priestess studies the group, her sharp eyes pausing on each face until they land on the pale man. Her smile does not falter, but the air around her sharpens.  

“And you?” she asks, her voice soft but probing. “What brings you to our sacred land?”  

He steps forward, his movements unhurried. Bowing slightly, he clasps his hands behind his back. “I am drawn by the promise of truth,” he says, his voice low and smooth, each word carefully picked out. “All my life, I have sought it, and I believe I will find it here.”  

His companions shift uncomfortably, their nervous energy a stark contrast to his poise. The High Priestess’s smile thins, almost imperceptibly, before she nods. “Truth is indeed what we offer. But truth requires sacrifice. Will you accept what it asks of you?”  

“Gladly,” he replies, his gaze steady.  

The High Priestess holds his gaze for a moment longer, then turns to the villagers. “Prepare the cleansing waters. Our new friends must be purified before they join us at the feast.”  

And so you now stand beside the High Priestess at the stone basin where the sacred spring pools cool and clear. Your hands holding the sacred bowl of anointing oil. Its scent was sharp and metallic, mingled with the faint iron tang of the single drop of your blood that had been mixed into it.

“Before you may break bread with us,” the High Priestess intones, her voice soft yet resolute, “you must set aside the burdens of your past lives. This water will cleanse your path, and this oil will mark the first step toward truth.” 

A trembling woman steps forward first, kneeling before the basin. The High Priestess murmurs a blessing as she dips her fingers into the bowl, anointing the woman’s forehead with a streak of oil. She guides the woman’s hands into the water, watching as her expression shifts from fear to quiet reverence.  

When it is his turn, the pale man steps forward without hesitation. He kneels, his posture straight, his head slightly bowed. The High Priestess reaches for the bowl, but her fingers still as she looks at him. For a fleeting moment, tension crackles between them, unspoken but palpable.  

Then, slowly, she dips her fingers into the oil and presses them to his forehead. The warmth lingers, and he closes his eyes as though in prayer.  

“You carry no fear,” she remarks softly.  

“Fear is a choice,” he replies, opening his eyes. His tone is calm, yet there is a subtle edge to his words—a challenge, quiet but deliberate.

Her expression remains unchanged, though her eyes narrow slightly. She motions for him to wash his hands, and as he does, his gaze flicks to you. You feel the weight of it, sharp and unrelenting.

But you do not look away this time.  

Under the open sky after the cleansing, long tables groan with the weight of food: roasted meats, fresh fruits and steaming bread. The villagers—families, children, elders—gather in celebration, their voices mingling with the hum of the torches and the soft rustle of the night wind. The scent of wine and cooking meat fills the air, thick and intoxicating.  

The feast spills into the courtyard, a sprawling affair where life and ritual intertwine seamlessly. Plates are passed with laughter, cups brimming with wine are raised in toasts, and bowls of fruit are shared between children with sticky hands and shining eyes. Beneath the surface of the revelry lies the unspoken truth: this is a celebration of service, of sacrifice, of taking joy in what has been offered.  

You are not seated among them, not truly part of this gathering. You are both guest of honor and object of worship, and even in celebration, your place remains apart.  

At one of the tables near the edge of the festivities, he sits. His presence is understated but magnetic, drawing your attention again and again. He does not eat much, nor does he join in the villagers’ laughter. Instead, he watches in serene silence, a shadow of a smile on his lips. 

His dark eyes sweep over the crowd, taking in the scene with a quiet intensity that makes your chest tighten. He sees everything—the reverence in their glances toward you, the careful choreography of a community bound by something unseen. His companions sit with him, their discomfort gradually giving way to nervous smiles as the warmth of the celebration softens their edges. But he does not soften. He remains apart, like you, even when surrounded.  

You notice the way he holds himself: isolated but not uncomfortable. Detached but not cold. He moves little, as though every moment of stillness is a choice.  

When his gaze finds yours once more, it is as though the air between you thickens. For a moment, the world around you blurs. The laughter, the clinking of goblets, the soft rustling of the wind—all fade into a distant hum.  

There is only him.  

His dark eyes seem to hold something you cannot place, something unsettling and sharp—a knowing, a deep, calculating curiosity that makes you feel as though you are being seen for the first time. Your breath catches as his lips curl into the faintest of smiles. The expression isn’t warm. It is quieter, sharper, almost as if he carries a secret meant for you alone.  

You cannot look away.  

The moment stretches until your chest tightens with the strain of it, and you force yourself to turn your gaze to the food in front of you. Your heart pounds in a rhythm you cannot explain. You wonder if anyone else noticed the way he looked at you, or if it is something only you could see.  

You feel his gaze again, even when he is not looking at you. It lingers, a rope stretched taut between you both, one that will not break.  

The feast continues. The villagers laugh, their joy spilling into the cool night air. Yet, though you are surrounded by celebration, you cannot stop thinking of him. You catch glimpses of him between the faces at the long table. The others shift and laugh and drink deeply, but he remains steady, his movements as precise and deliberate as his words had been.  

You wonder, if he sees you for what you truly are. Not the lamb, the holy offering, but something else. Something unknown.  

The thought makes your stomach twist in a way you don’t understand.  

Days pass, as they always do.  

The sun had long since set, leaving the valley cloaked in shadow. The High Priestess’s home stood at the heart of the village, a structure of wood and stone adorned with intricate symbols of devotion into its walls. It was a place where warmth was performative, where every smile and gesture carried a double promise.  

Inside, the flickering fire cast long shadows across the main room, its golden light unable to dispel the chill of tension that lingered in the air. You stood beside your father, your hands clasped in front of you, waiting.  

It was tradition: a private supper between your family and the newcomers, an act of hospitality meant to welcome them. But you knew better. Hospitality was a veil, a courtesy offered with sharp teeth behind it. This supper was a test—a subtle but ruthless scrutiny that no one could escape.  

Your father adjusted the goblets on the table for the third time, his nervous fingers trembling slightly. “Are they nervous, you think?” he asked softly, not meeting your gaze.  

“They should be,” your mother said from across the room, her voice sharp yet measured. She stood near the fire, her white robes glowing in the shifting light. “Truth demands reverence. Only those who understand this will remain.”  

Your father nodded quickly—too quickly—and you felt a pang of something close to pity. He never challenged her, never pushed back. You wondered if she even noticed how much weight he carried to keep her world in order, how his silence shaped the foundation of her power. His submission was a lesson you were never allowed to forget.

Your eyes drifted to the table, to the goblets your father had lined so meticulously. You thought of how often he moved in silence, his presence fading into the edges of her authority. His hands trembled not from age, but from the strain of servitude.  

The first of the newcomers entered, hesitant and uncertain, their shoulders hunched under the weight of the High Priestess’s gaze. One by one, every night, they came and went, each leaving with lowered eyes and nervous smiles. You remained mostly quiet, watching as your mother’s words—soft and smiling—peeled back their defenses with careful precision.  

Your father, dutiful as ever, poured wine into their goblets, his trembling hands careful not to spill. You watched him with a tightening in your chest, the tension in the room coiling like a spring.  

And then it was his turn.  

When Fyodor entered, the room seemed to shift. His movements were fluid, as though he had already rehearsed this moment in his mind. His dark coat was gone, replaced by the white robe of a supplicant, but the simplicity of the garment only emphasized the sharp angles of his face, the cool, precise energy that surrounded him.  

His gaze swept the room, lingering on the fire, the worn table, and finally on you. His eyes paused, and there it was again, that unsettling feeling from the way he watched you—not with the reverence you were used to, but something sharper. As though he saw through the layers of expectation draped over you.  

“Welcome,” your mother said, her tone light but pointed. “You honor us by joining us this evening.”  

He inclined his head, his hands clasped behind his back. “The honor is mine, High Priestess.”  

He took his seat at the table, and your father poured his ceremonial wine, the trembling of his hands spilling a single drop onto the polished wood. Fyodor accepted the goblet with a quiet thank you, his eyes flicking briefly to you before returning to your mother.  

“We have found that those who come to us seeking truth often carry burdens from the world outside,” your mother began, her words smooth and rehearsed. “What burdens do you carry, Fyodor?”  

He sipped the wine slowly, his movements deliberate. “We all carry burdens, no? Mine are no greater than those of any man who seeks meaning.”  

“And yet,” she pressed, leaning forward ever so slightly, “You seem unshaken. Most who come to us are eager to shed their burdens, to kneel before the divine. But you... you carry yourself differently.”  

He met her gaze evenly, his expression unreadable. “I hold the belief that I kneel in my own way.”  

The fire cracked softly, filling the silence that followed.  

Your mother’s lips tightened, though her composure did not break. She leaned back, her eyes narrowing slightly. And then, as if testing both of you at once, she turned to you.  

“What do you think of our guest, my child?”  

The question caught you off guard. Your pulse quickened as you glanced at Fyodor, his sharp gaze already on you. His expression betrayed nothing of what he was thinking in that moment, and that somehow terrified you. 

“I... I think he speaks with conviction,” you said finally, your voice measured. “It is rare.”  

“Conviction is admirable,” your mother said, though her tone had grown colder. She gestured for your father to refill Fyodor’s cup, and he obeyed quickly, his trembling hands spilling a few drops of wine onto the table once more.  

“Careful,” your mother snapped, her voice cutting like a blade. Your father flinched, dabbing at the spill with a cloth.  

Fyodor’s gaze lingered on the interaction, his lips curved into the faintest of smiles, it felt like understanding—something quiet and unspoken passing between him and your father.  

“Your child is observant,” Fyodor said softly, his eyes returning to you. “Rare, indeed.”

“They have been raised to see the truth,” your mother replied sharply, her suspicion deepening. “It is their duty to understand what others cannot.”

He inclined his head slightly, a faint smile brushing his lips. “A remarkable gift, to be so attuned to truth. Few possess the clarity to rise above their own fears and expectations.”

The room fell silent, the words hanging heavy in the air. Your breath hitched as your mother turned back to you, her gaze sharp and searching.

“Have you grown timid, my child?” she asked, her words laced with quiet menace. “You hesitate more often than before.”  

“I... I have been reflecting,” you said finally, your voice small but steady. “On the path you’ve set for me. On how best to serve.”  

Her expression softened slightly, though her gaze remained piercing. “Good. Service requires focus. Distractions lead to ruin.” Her eyes flicked briefly to Fyodor, then back to you. “And you are not easily distracted, are you?”  

“No, mother,” you replied, though your voice lacked conviction.  

Fyodor’s gaze lingered on you, quiet and piercing, before he leaned back slightly in his chair. “The strength of their will reflects well on their upbringing,” he remarked. “Few can maintain such clarity when placed under so much... weight.”

Your mother’s lips curled faintly, though the smile did not reach her eyes. “Weight builds character,” she said curtly. “And clarity comes from discipline.”

“Discipline,” Fyodor murmured, as though weighing the word. His eyes flickered to the fire, the light casting fleeting shadows across his face. “A virtue that molds strength and focus, no doubt. And yet... even the finest melodies are not born from silence alone.”

Your mother’s expression did not falter, though the room felt colder for it. “Only weak voices fear silence,” she said finally, her tone clipped. “The strong will always be heard.”

The words hung in the air like a closing door, shutting out any chance for response. The tension that had built over the evening seemed to settle over you like a shroud, heavy and unyielding, wrapping itself around you with quiet insistence.

By the end of the evening, as Fyodor rose to leave, your mother placed a hand on your shoulder, her grip firm. Her fingers pressed into your skin, a silent command to stay grounded, to remain tethered to her will.  

“Do not stray with him,” she murmured, her voice low and meant only for you. Her words slid between you like a blade, cold and deliberate. “There are paths you cannot walk, no matter how curious you may be. Do not forget your duty.”

Her grip tightened on your shoulder, just enough to make your chest tighten in turn. “Your future has already been secured,” she continued, her tone soft but unyielding. “Do not squander what has been arranged for you with fleeting distractions. You belong where you are needed, my child. Where you are destined.”

Then, her hand eased, and she leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. The gesture was warm, loving, but the weight of it was undeniable. It was not affection, but a mark—a silent claim, binding you to her will. Her lips lingered just long enough for her breath to ghost against your hair. “Remember who you are,” she whispered, the words as much an order as an expression of care.

The weight of her words sank in, unspoken but unmistakable: the engagement. It had loomed in the background of your life like an unfinished prayer, a promise made on your behalf that you had not been given the right to question.

You glanced at Fyodor, who lingered at the doorway, his dark eyes catching yours once more. The air seemed to shift between you, an unspoken tension thrumming just beneath the surface. “Thank you for your hospitality,” he said, his voice smooth and composed, the words polite but aimed at you rather than your mother.

Your mother’s hand remained on your shoulder, her presence a wall between you and the door. “Do not forget your place,” she whispered as Fyodor turned to leave, her voice as sharp as the steel she so often wielded in ceremony.

Her warning echoed long after he was gone, her words a chain you could not yet break.  

The weeks since Fyodor’s arrival had passed like the turning of a slow wheel, the rhythm of village life unchanged but for the murmurs that followed wherever he went. The people had embraced him and his group with a swiftness that was almost unnerving. Children brought him flowers, their giggles rising like birdsong as they placed the blooms in his hands. The elders nodded in satisfaction, their wrinkled faces lighting with approval at his humility during communal tasks. Even the skeptical seemed disarmed by his quiet confidence and sharp wit, his every action a masterstroke of timing and grace.  

Yet, to you, there was something unsettling beneath the surface.  

You watched him carefully. There was a deliberateness to his movements, a precision that felt unnatural. He walked as though every step was part of a dance only he could hear, every word chosen with the precision of an arrow. And yet, despite your unease, there was a pull to him, like the dark waters of the river: cold and dangerous but impossible to resist. The pull lingered, growing stronger each time you saw him, until his presence became a constant undercurrent in your thoughts. 

And you couldn’t help but wonder—what would it feel like to let yourself fall into those dark, unyielding currents? To surrender to the cold pull, knowing there would be no way back?

The sound of the ceremonial bells pulled you from your thoughts, their solemn toll reverberating through the wooden church. The candles that lined the space cast flickering shadows across the gathered congregation, their flames bright against the deepening dusk.

This was a sacred night, one that would truly bind the newcomers to the community, sealing their integration with an oath to serve the divine. 

The group stood in a line before the High Priestess, their white robes glowing in the soft light of the candles, their heads bowed in solemn reverence. Even in their uniformity, Fyodor stood apart, as he always did. His posture was relaxed but not disrespectful, his expression unreadable. He wore the robe as though it were a costume, an adornment that could be shed the moment it no longer served him.  

In your hands is the small bowl of crimson liquid—your blood, drawn hours earlier, thick with divinity mixed with anointing oil. Its sight sends a shiver through the group, though none dare speak. The ceramic was warm against your palms, though it felt heavier than usual tonight.  

Your mother stepped forward, her voice ringing through the church with a practiced authority that silenced the crowd.  

“You stand here as seekers, strangers to the divine. But tonight, you will be bound to our truth, reborn as one with this community. Are you prepared to leave behind what you were?”  

A murmur of assent rippled through the group. Some voices trembled with fear, others spoke with quiet certainty. Fyodor’s voice, low and steady, cut through the air, drawing your attention despite yourself.  

“Step forward,” your mother commanded.  

One by one, the newcomers approached her. She dipped her fingers into the blood, marking their foreheads with the sacred blessing as they bowed their heads in submission. The ritual unfolded as it always did, a solemn repetition of words and gestures. Yet when it was Fyodor’s turn, the moment seemed to stretch.  

He stepped forward with that same deliberate grace, his movements unhurried but precise. His gaze met your mother’s with an intensity that did not falter, the air between them charged with unspoken tension.  

“Kneel,” she commanded.  

He obeyed, lowering himself to the ground with a calm that bordered on defiance. He looked like a man kneeling of his own volition, not one forced to bow.  

Your mother dipped her fingers into the blood, but instead of marking his forehead, she paused. Her gaze turned to you, sharp and expectant. “Come,” she said. “Place your hands upon him. Channel the divine insight.”  

Your breath caught. You had never been asked to do this before. The bowl in your hands seemed to grow heavier, the scent of the oil rising like smoke to suffocate you. Slowly, you stepped forward, setting the bowl down on the altar before kneeling in front of him.  

Your hands trembled as you reached out, resting them lightly on his head. His hair was softer than you expected, but his presence felt sharp, overwhelming. The noise of the congregation—the chants, the crackling of the candles—faded into a dull hum, drowned out by the pounding of your heartbeat.  

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the divine connection you were meant to channel. Yet all you could feel was him. The steadiness of his breath. The quiet tension coiled in his body. The way his very existence seemed to demand your attention.  

“What do you see?” your mother’s voice cut through the haze, expectant.  

You opened your eyes, startled, and found Fyodor looking up at you. His gaze was piercing, calm yet devastatingly aware. There was no fear in his eyes, no deference. Instead, there was something that stripped you bare—a knowing, as though he could see every thought you had buried deep.  

“I…” The words caught in your throat.  

Then his lips moved, so faintly you almost missed it. A whisper meant only for you:  

“You bleed for them. But will they bleed for you?”  

The words hit like an arrow to the throat, leaving you breathless. Your hands jerked back as though burned, and your heart thundered in your chest.  

Your mother’s gaze bore into you, her eyes narrowing. “What do you see?” she demanded again, her voice growing cold.  

You forced yourself to look away from him, your trembling hands lowering to your lap. “I see… clarity,” you said finally, though your voice wavered. “He carries clarity.”  

Your mother studied you for a moment, her suspicion evident. Then, without a word, she marked his forehead, murmuring the blessing with an edge to her tone. She gestured to the congregation, signaling the second part of the ceremony.  

“The waters of renewal await,” your mother announced, her voice carrying over the crowd. “As children of the divine are first welcomed, so too must our newest seekers be reborn.”  

The group was led toward the river, that snaked just outside the church, its surface shimmering like molten glass in the torchlight. An ancient tree’s roots reached toward the water’s edge, twisting and intertwining with the stones that framed the riverbank. The current hummed softly, carrying the weight of generations past.  

One by one, the newcomers approached the river. Your mother took each by the hand, murmuring blessings before the attendants guided them into the water. They were gently lowered beneath the surface, the current swirling around them, and when they emerged, gasping and glistening in the firelight, the water clung to their skin like a second robe, consecrating their transformation.  

When it was Fyodor’s turn, the moment stretched again. He stepped forward, his movements slow and deliberate, his eyes flicking to yours for the briefest moment before returning to your mother.  

She took his hand, her grip firm, and guided him towards the river’s edge. “This water cleanses,” she intoned. “It washes away the remnants of your former self, the burdens of your past life, leaving you free to serve.”  

The attendants lowered him into the river. For a moment, it felt as though the heavens themselves leaned closer, waiting. The current surged as if tasting him, its pull cold, and the uncanny stillness gripped the air, as if even the wind dared not move. 

When he emerged, his hair plastered to his face, his eyes sharper than ever, he did not gasp as the others had. He rose to his feet with an unshaken calm, water streaming from his robes. His gaze found yours again, and the weight of his whispered words returned, heavier than before.  A fleeting thought filtered through your mind: Would they bleed for me? As I do for them?   

When the ceremony ended, and the congregation erupted into joyous chants, you found yourself unable to join in. Fyodor stood among the others, his expression serene, but when his eyes met yours again across the clearing, it felt as though the ritual had bound something unseen between you both.

The sounds of the crowd became hollow, their jubilation a distant echo. He was all that remained. The air between you filled with an unspoken understanding that you dared not name.

You were skittish, of course, like a cornered animal. And you squirmed—not to escape, but to inch closer, as though his gaze has already avowed you. But what use is there for such a connection, when the end is as inevitable as the tightening snare, already closing around you both.

The announcement of your engagement came as no surprise.  

For months, you had felt it coming: in the quiet tension in your mother’s tone, the way her hand lingered on your shoulder during evening blessings, and the faint but insistent weight in her gaze whenever she spoke to you. It wasn’t love she offered in those moments, but a kind of ownership—a reminder that you were hers to mold, to shape, to offer as she saw fit.  

The ceremonial bells tolled at dawn, their echoes rippling across the valley. You rose without hesitation, the weight of the day already pressing against your chest. Your mother was waiting for you, her hands warm and steady as they guided you to sit before her. 

She began braiding your hair with practiced precision, her fingers gentle as they wove the strands together. The scent of sage and beeswax clung to her robes, a reminder of the sacred rituals that bound you both. 

"You’ve always had such beautiful hair," she murmured, her voice soft, almost wistful. For a moment, her touch lingered, more a mother’s than a priestess’s. "Do you remember when you were little, how you’d fuss when I braided it too tightly?" 

You nodded, though your throat tightened at the memory. "I thought you were punishing me," you replied, a faint, bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. 

She chuckled softly, the sound rare and fleeting. "Never, my child. I only wanted you to look your best." 

Her fingers paused for a fraction of a moment, resting against your temple. "You’ve grown so much," she said quietly, the words carrying a weight she rarely allowed herself to show. Then her hands resumed their work, and when she finished, she placed her hands gently on your shoulders. "There," she said, her voice soft but steady. "You are ready." 

The warmth of her hands lingered as you rose, her gaze following you with something that almost resembled pride. Yet beneath it, you could feel the unspoken weight of expectation, as heavy as the ceremonial robes draped across your shoulders.

You carried that weight with you as you stepped into the grand wooden church, its high vaulted ceilings towering above like the heavens themselves. The air was heavy with the scent of burning herbs—lavender mingling with a faint undertone of sweetgrass. Smoke curled upward, coiling like restless spirits toward the intricate carvings that decorated the beams, each depicting scenes of devotion and sacrifice. Candles lined the altar and walls, their soft, flickering light casting long shadows that seemed to shift with the murmurs of the congregation.

People stood in hushed reverence, their faces illuminated by the golden glow. All eyes were on you and your betrothed—Abel—as you knelt together on the raised dais at the center of the sacred space. 

Abel knelt beside you, his head bowed, his posture straight and unassuming. His robe hung neatly on his frame, its stark simplicity emphasizing his earnestness. He was the ideal partner for someone like you: devout, humble, willing to serve without question. You could see why your mother had chosen him. He was what the village valued—what the cult demanded. 

Yet when you looked at him, you felt nothing but a hollow ache. 

Your mother’s voice carried through the church, steady and commanding. Her words wrapped around the congregation like a net, binding them in shared reverence. 

“May this bond bring harmony, as two threads are woven into a single tapestry. May purpose guide them, and may their lives serve as offerings to the divine.” 

Her gaze swept across the congregation before settling on you. The weight of her presence was palpable, pressing against your chest like a stone. 

“Abel,” she intoned, turning to him. “Do you accept this bond, this sacred duty to serve beside them in devotion and purpose?” 

“I do,” he replied, his voice calm and steady. 

The crowd murmured in approval, a low hum that rolled through the church like distant thunder. 

“And you, my child,” she said, her attention returning to you. Her voice was softer now, but it carried an edge of expectation that left no room for hesitation. “Do you accept this bond, this sacred duty to serve with him in faith and unity?” 

Your hands clenched tightly in your lap, hidden beneath the folds of your robe. Abel’s gaze flicked to you briefly, his expression warm, even reverent. He looked at you as though you were a gift he had been unworthy to receive. 

The thought made your chest tighten. 

“I do,” you said at last. The words tasted foreign in your mouth, like something borrowed. 

The murmurs grew louder now, the congregation’s approval rising like a tide. Your mother lifted her arms, her robes catching the candlelight as she began to recite the vows that would bind you and Abel together. 

“I give you that which is mine to give. I shall serve you in those ways you require, and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.” 

Her voice was steady, deliberate, each word falling like a stone into still water. 

Abel repeated the vow, his voice soft but unwavering. 

“I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, and the eyes into which I smile in the morning.” 

Your mother’s gaze moved to you. The air seemed to still as she spoke the final words of the vow. 

“I pledge to you the first bite from my meat, and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care, and tell no strangers our grievances.” 

The silence that followed was almost suffocating. 

You repeated the words, your voice steady but hollow. They rolled off your tongue like a prayer you had recited too many times to feel their meaning. Yet each word seemed to settle in your chest like a weight, binding you to Abel, to this life, to this role you had never chosen. 

As your mother raised her hands in blessing, the congregation erupted into murmurs of approval. A collective sigh of satisfaction rippled through the church, their voices carrying into the evening as they began to move toward the feast awaiting them. 

But you remained kneeling on the dais, your hands clenched tightly in your lap. The smoke from the incense stung your eyes, though you weren’t sure if that was the reason they burned. The whisper of movement behind you was so faint you might have missed it, but then his voice followed. 

“Congratulations.” 

You turned your head slightly, just enough to see Fyodor standing at the edge of the dais. His expression was calm, but there was something in his eyes, something that made your breath hitch. His white supplicant robes, so similar to yours, seemed to carry none of their weight. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, though your voice betrayed you. 

His gaze flicked briefly to Abel, who stood a short distance away, speaking with the elders. “He seems... reliable,” Fyodor said, his tone measured, as though he were commenting on a piece of furniture. 

“He is,” you replied, though the words felt bitter on your tongue. 

Fyodor stepped closer, slow and deliberate, the faintest smile playing at his lips. “Do you think he’ll understand you?” 

Your breath caught. Something in his tone—quiet, knowing—stirred a knot of frustration in your chest. “What is that supposed to mean?” you whispered, your voice tight. “You’re always speaking in riddles.” 

“Not riddles. Questions,” he corrected with a soft smile, his voice like a whisper of smoke. “Do you ever ask them yourself?” 

The memory of his whisper at the river returned unbidden. You bleed for them, but will they bleed for you? His words had rooted themselves in your thoughts, growing like weeds in the cracks of your carefully constructed faith. 

“At the river,” you began, your voice faltering. “You said something to me. Why?” 

He tilted his head slightly, his gaze unwavering. “Because it’s the truth. You give them everything—your blood, your life, your love. But what do you receive in return? Do they even know you, beyond what you offer?” 

You swallowed hard, your fingers curling into the fabric of your robes. “That’s not how it works,” you whispered, though your voice quivered. “I’m here to serve. To protect them. That’s my purpose. That’s why they love me.” 

He regarded you for a long moment, his expression almost gentle. “And who protects you?” 

The question lodged itself deep in your chest, and you looked away, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “You don’t understand,” you said quietly. “This is how it’s always been.” 

“Ah,” he murmured, the faint smile returning to his lips. “I can understand the comfort of tradition. A powerful thing, isn’t it?” He straightened, his tone shifting to something lighter but no less piercing. 

You turned back to him, anger and something deeper—something desperate—flaring in your chest. “What do you want from me?” 

His gaze lingered on you, searching, and then he stepped back. “Nothing,” he said softly. “I suppose I’ve overstayed my welcome. Enjoy your new kinship, won’t you?” 

Before you could reply, he turned and disappeared into the crowd, his presence dissolving into the sea of voices and movement. His words remained, echoing in your mind like a bell tolling in the dark. 

Who protects you? 

PART II

Dividers: saradika-graphics

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Creatura innocentiae - Fyodor x Reader

PART I PART II

Synopsys: In a secluded village ruled by devotion, where sacrifice is a form of love and faith demands blood, you are forced to choose between Scylla and Charybdis.

Warnings: No ability au, cult themes, religion, manipulation, murder, death, graphic violence and depiction of blood, dehumanization, power imbalance in relationships, emotional and physical abuse, self-harm, gaslighting, brainwashing, philosophical musings on love, faith, and autonomy.

These themes will be present throughout all parts of this fic. Please read with caution and take care of your mental well-being. If any of these themes are distressing to you, proceed carefully or consider skipping this fic.

A/N: Welcome to the second part of this little story! I've already written a rough draft of the third part, thanks to winter break, which has given me plenty of time to write until my fingers ache and my mind turns to mush. As a fun fact: before Creatura innocentiae, the title of this fic was Nitimur in vetitum, which translates to "We strive for the forbidden."

Word count: 10,000

The next week crept by like molasses, each day heavier than the last. 

Being engaged should have felt like a blessing. You had been told that often enough. But no matter how hard you tried, the feeling eluded you. Abel, on the other hand, wore the engagement like a new skin, radiant with a purpose that seemed to brighten his every step. 

Every morning, he waited for you, his patient smile unwavering as he offered to walk you to the clearing where you prayed. He had taken over bandaging your wounds after ceremonies, his hands clumsy but careful, his brow furrowing with the kind of earnestness that made your chest tighten. He also brought you gifts—wildflowers, a wooden carving of a dove, even a piece of honeycomb—they piled up like the tokens of devotion they were meant to be. 

He was everything they said a husband should be. Gentle. Devoted. Perfect. 

And yet, you almost hated him for it. Or perhaps, you hated yourself. 

The dirt path stretched ahead, quiet but for the crunch of your footsteps. The sky above hung heavy and gray, dulling the world into muted shades of itself. Abel walked beside you, his easy gait a sharp contrast to the hollow weight dragging at your steps. His hands swung loosely at his sides, as though they belonged to a man without a care. 

You didn’t want to be here—not with him. 

“Quite gloomy today, isn’t it?” Abel’s voice broke the quiet, gentle and familiar. He glanced at you, his smile as practiced as the line itself. Then, softer, he added, “Though somehow, you always seem to brighten days like this.” 

You nodded, your gaze fixed on the ground. The words you wanted to say coiled tight in your throat, sharp and unspoken. 

He was trying. That was the worst part. 

Would Abel understand me? 

The question gnawed at you, growing louder with every step. It was his voice that answered—not Abel’s, but Fyodor’s. His voice. His damning words clung to you, weaving through your thoughts: a predator circling its prey. 

“Abel...” you said softly, the sound of his name almost foreign on your lips.  

He perked up immediately, his head turning toward you with that ever-present smile. “Yes?”  

Your heart began to race, a faint tremor coursing through your hands as you struggled to voice what had been gnawing at you. “What do you... like about me?”  

The question felt absurd as soon as it left your lips, yet it hung in the air between you like a weight. You didn’t dare look at him.  

Abel stopped walking.  

You hesitated, realizing he had turned to face you, his expression softened by surprise. “What do I like about you?” he repeated, his tone gentle, as though you had asked him to describe something sacred.  

“Yes,” you said, barely above a whisper.  

His brow furrowed slightly, his smile fading into something quieter, more thoughtful. He shifted his weight, his hands clasping in front of him as he considered your question.  

“Well...” He exhaled softly, and when he spoke again, his voice carried the same warmth he always offered. “I like how kind you are. How selfless. You carry so much for all of us, yet you never complain. You give everything, even when it hurts you.”  

Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. His words landed like stones in your chest, each one heavier than the last.  

“You’re...” He hesitated, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. “You’re radiant. Like the sun breaking through clouds. You remind us of what it means to be good, to have faith.”  

His gaze flicked to yours, shy but earnest. “I admire you,” he added softly, his voice almost trembling. “You make the rest of us want to be better.”  

A bitter laugh rose in your throat, but you swallowed it down, unable to let it escape.  

“Is that it?” you asked instead, your voice trembling with something you couldn’t name.  

Abel’s brow knit in confusion. “What do you mean?”  

You looked at him then, truly looked at him, and the sight of his gentle confusion only sharpened the ache inside you. “You admire me because I bleed for all of you. Because I make it easy to take.”  

His eyes widened, his lips parting in shock. “That’s not—”  

“Isn’t it?” you interrupted, your voice rising, sharp and brittle. The words came unbidden, spilling out. “You like me because I don’t fight. Because I smile and give and never ask for anything in return. That’s what you admire, isn’t it? That I make it easy for you to love me?”  

The silence that followed was deafening. Abel’s hands trembled at his sides, his expression stricken.  

“I...” He faltered, his voice cracking slightly. “I never meant... I just—”  

“You don’t know me,” you said, your voice breaking. “You don’t know anything about me beyond what I give. Do you?”  

He took a step toward you, his hands reaching out as though to steady the space between you. “That’s not fair,” he said quietly, his tone laced with desperation. “I care about you. I’ve always cared about you.”  

You stepped back, shaking your head. “You care about the idea of me. The savior. The lamb. But what if I wasn’t any of that? Would you still—”  

“Stop,” he interrupted, his voice firmer now. “I care about you because you’re strong. Because you carry so much and still find a way to be kind.”  

His words hung in the air, but they felt hollow. Kindness. Strength. Radiance.  

They were the same words you had heard all your life, spoken in reverence and admiration. But they weren’t about you. They were about the role you played, the mask you wore so perfectly.  

Your breath hitched as you turned away, staring at the horizon where the clouds pressed low against the earth. “You don’t understand,” you whispered.  

Abel didn’t press further. He stood there, silent and unsure, as you began walking again, your steps hurried and uneven. He followed at a distance, the tension between you stretching.

The ache in your chest deepened with every step, the memory of Fyodor’s voice echoing louder than ever: You bleed for them. But will they bleed for you?  

For the first time, you began to think you already knew the answer.  

The late afternoon sun slanted through the gaps in the wooden walls, casting long, wavering stripes of light across the floor. Dust particles swirled lazily in the warmth, their slow drift a reminder of the barn’s stillness. The soft sounds of the space were familiar, grounding.  

You had watched Abel and Fyodor disappear inside the barn a little while ago, tasked by the elders to tend to the horses. A routine chore—unremarkable.

They were not made equally, you thought. Abel was very kind, too kind. It was the kind of kindness that made your insides burn, that felt like a performance rather than a truth. The interaction a few days ago had only solidified that suspicion. Abel got complacence, while Fyodor...  

Fyodor got ambition. It was an unsettling kind of ambition, sharp-edged and systematic. You didn’t know what he intended to use it for, but the thought lingered, prickling at the edges of your mind like needles. 

Not wanting to dwell on the two of them, you turned back to your duties, trying to shake the unease.  

Inside, the barn was still and calm, save for the steady rhythm of Fyodor’s hands working, methodical as ever. He brushed down one of the horses, his motions slow, as if the action itself demanded careful precision. His brow remained unfurrowed, his focus unshifting, as though he were a part of the barn itself, fixed and immovable.  

Across the barn, Abel’s voice filled the stillness with a casual stream of conversation, his words light and unguarded—too unguarded. He spoke of the harvest festival, of traditions and preparations, his tone tinged with forced enthusiasm.   

“I think they’ll love it,” Abel said, glancing over his shoulder at Fyodor. “The festival, I mean. It’s their favorite time of year—dancing under the lights, celebrating our comunity’s hard work. I feel lucky, you know? To be the one by their side for it.” 

Fyodor didn’t respond immediately. He didn’t need to. His silence filled the barn like smoke, creeping into all corners until Abel shifted uneasily. 

“And what makes you so sure they love it?” Fyodor asked at last, his tone quiet, almost idle, as if the question were an afterthought. 

Abel chuckled, though the sound carried a slight tremor. “Because it’s simple, I suppose,” he replied, turning his gaze to the window as though the answer might lie somewhere beyond it. “It makes them happy.”   

The rhythm of Fyodor’s brushing didn’t falter, but the air seemed to grow colder, as if his presence had drawn out the warmth. His head tilted slightly, the faintest gesture of consideration, though his gaze remained fixed on the horse.   

“Do they seem happy to you?”   

Abel stilled. His hands paused in their work, his fingers curling reflexively around the armful of hay he was gathering. He turned his head toward Fyodor, confusion shadowing his features. “What?”   

Fyodor straightened, setting the brush aside. He turned, his eyes meeting Abel’s. They were calm, but there was something unrelenting in the sharpness of his gaze. “I asked,” Fyodor said softly, “if they seem happy to you.”   

Abel faltered, his brow furrowing. “I mean... they don’t complain,” he said, his voice carrying a faint defensiveness. “They devoted to their role. That’s what happiness is, isn’t it? Accepting your place?”   

Fyodor’s lips twitched—not quite a smile, but something faint and unsettling, a ghost of amusement. “Devotion isn’t the same as happiness. Compliance isn’t the same as understanding.”   

Abel frowned, his confusion deepening as he turned fully to face Fyodor. “I don’t see the difference,” he said after a long moment, his voice quieter now.   

Fyodor took a single step forward, closing the distance between them. “Of course you don’t,” he said, his tone low, almost kind. “You don’t have to.”   

Abel blinked, his expression faltering further. The cheerfulness that had cloaked him earlier seemed to dissolve, replaced by a flicker of something more vulnerable—a faint crack in the armor of certainty he had always carried.   

“They’re devoted,” Abel said again, though his voice wavered. “They’re strong. They’re... They’re everything we need them to be.”   

“Everything you need them to be,” Fyodor corrected, the faintest edge creeping into his voice. He leaned back slightly, his posture relaxed but his presence unyielding. “But tell me, Abel—what do they need?”   

The question hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Abel opened his mouth to respond, but no words came. His hands tightened around the bundle of hay, his gaze dropping to the ground. 

Fyodor let the silence stretch, his gaze unwavering as he stepped back toward the horse. “They carry the weight of your love,” he said quietly, his voice almost a murmur. “But love, without understanding, is just another burden, no?”   

Abel’s head snapped up at that, his eyes narrowing. “I do understand them,” he said, though the words sounded hollow even to himself.   

Fyodor tilted his head slightly, his expression softening—not with kindness, but with something closer to pity. “Do you?”   

The question wasn’t sharp. It wasn’t even accusatory. And yet, it cut deeper than anything else Fyodor had said.   

Abel turned back to his task, his movements slower, more hesitant now. The steady rhythm of his work had faltered, becoming uneven as though each action required conscious effort. He didn’t speak again. The air between them grew heavier, oppressive in its stillness—you could have heard a pin drop, but not the whisper of Fyodor’s steps as he moved across the barn. 

Reaching one of the horses, Fyodor untied its reins with quiet precision, dragging the rope across the floor as though absentmindedly. He let it fall into the straw, its coils half-buried and unassuming, before reaching for the feed bucket to distract the horse with its meal. 

His mind drifted again, to that familiar thought.   

You construct intricate rituals to appease deities you came up with to avoid being your own judge.   

He studied Abel’s back, hunched over as he worked, and the words solidified in his mind.   

God can’t hear you beg for forgiveness, and She doesn’t care about the sacrifices you make to prove your repentance. You stand in front of a mirror, begging for someone else to try you for your crimes.   

He stared at Abel, who was so eager to please, so content to remain blind to the walls around him. Abel wasn’t chosen for his understanding—no, he was chosen because he would never question the system. Because he wouldn’t ask the hard questions that would tear the gilded cage apart.   

“Abel.”   

Abel turned toward him, his brow furrowing in confusion, the ever-present warmth in his gaze replaced by something guarded. “Yes?”   

“You truly believe you’re enough for them?” Fyodor asked, taking a step forward. His tone wasn’t mocking; it wasn’t even cruel. It was simply curious, a calm inquiry.   

Abel blinked, clearly caught off guard. “I... I am enough for them!”   

Fyodor tilted his head slightly, his gaze unwavering as though he were studying a puzzle. “Are you?” he murmured, the question barely louder than a breath. 

Abel stiffened, his hands clenching at his sides. “Of course I am. I’ve done everything right—followed every rule, every tradition.” His voice grew firmer. “I care for them. I protect them. Isn’t that enough?” 

Fyodor’s lips curved into the faintest of smiles. “Enough for you, perhaps. But is it enough for them?” 

The barn seemed to close in on them, the air thickening with the weight of unspoken truths. Abel took a step forward, his expression darkening. “They’re happy,” he insisted, though his voice wavered at the edges. 

“You don’t see it, do you? The way they looks at you—not with love, but with duty. The same way one might look at a burden they cannot put down.” 

Abel’s breath hitched, his face tightening as the words hit their mark. His grip on the hay trembled, as though he were fighting the urge to throw it down. “Shut up,” he said quietly, his tone laced with warning. 

Fyodor didn’t flinch, his expression calm, almost pitying. “Do you even know them, Abel? Beyond what they give you? Beyond the mask they wear for all of you?” 

“I said shut up!” Abel’s voice cracked, his hands trembling as he took another step forward. The warmth in his gaze was gone now, replaced by something desperate and raw. 

Fyodor held his ground, his composure unshaken. “If they took off the mask,” he said, each word deliberate, “would you even recognize them?” 

The question hung in the air like a guillotine, and Abel snapped. His fist shot out, catching Fyodor in the chest and driving him back against the stall. The horses stirred, their nervous movements filling the barn with sharp, chaotic sounds. 

“You don’t know anything about them!” Abel shouted, his voice reverberating off the wooden walls. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? But you don’t belong here—you’ll never belong here!” 

Fyodor staggered but recovered quickly, brushing the dust from his robe with infuriating calm. He straightened, his violet eyes meeting Abel’s with a steady, unsettling intensity. “Neither do they,” he said quietly. 

And when those words came down like a blade on his neck, Abel’s fury boiled over, spilling into every clumsy, uncoordinated movement. His hands found the pitchfork leaning against the stall, gripping it as though it might anchor him against the storm inside. His breath came in ragged, uneven bursts, the sound filling the barn.

The horses, restless from the noise and the charged atmosphere, shuffled in their stalls, their hooves striking against the wooden planks with growing urgency. One whinnied sharply, the sound slicing through the oppressive quiet. 

Abel lifted the pitchfork, his knuckles whitening around the handle as if he intended to use it, but the weight of his rage made his movements slow and unsteady. His chest heaved, his eyes wild and unfocused as he turned toward Fyodor, the object of his unraveling anger. 

The untied horse jerked sideways, its powerful body slamming into the stall with a hollow, reverberating thud. The motion sent a cascade of hay spilling onto the floor, and Abel flinched at the impact. His grip on the pitchfork wavered, the handle slipping in his sweaty palms. 

“Stay back!” Abel shouted at the animal, though the command sounded more like a plea. His voice cracked, raw and uneven, as though it might splinter under the weight of his panic. 

The sound of hurried footsteps approached, their rhythm halting just outside the barn’s threshold. Someone had heard the commotion—they paused at the doorway, their shadow stretching across the barn floor, trembling as it mingled with the fractured light. Their eyes darted between Abel’s hunched form and Fyodor’s measured stillness. The air felt too heavy to move through, suffocating in its intensity. 

Fyodor’s violet gaze flicked toward the figure, so quick it was almost imperceptible, before snapping back to Abel. He didn’t acknowledge the witness further, his expression settling into something carefully controlled, slightly startled but otherwise unreadable. 

“Is that how you’ll prove your worth?” Fyodor asked, his voice calm, but now carrying the faintest thread of something softer—fear, or perhaps pity. He took a half-step back, his hands raised slightly, palms outward, as though placating a dangerous animal. “By threatening me?” 

Abel’s grip on the pitchfork tightened, his knuckles trembling. “You don’t understand! You don’t belong here!” he bellowed, his tone cracking under the strain of his rage. 

The horses, restless and panicked, stamped and snorted in their stalls. Abel lifted the pitchfork slightly, as if to strike, but the motion only fed the chaos around him. One of the horses reared, its hooves crashing against the stall. 

But Fyodor didn’t move. He stood as still as the barn walls themselves, his gaze steady, unyielding. The horses, by contrast, were all motion—rearing, kicking, their wild eyes flashing in the fractured light. The largest of them stomped violently, its movements frantic and unpredictable. 

Abel staggered, his foot catching on a length of rope half-buried in the straw. He teetered for a moment, his arms flailing as he fought for balance. The pitchfork clattered to the ground with a dull, jarring sound. 

The horse’s agitation grew, its hooves striking out as it reared again. Abel’s flailing carried him backward, the momentum of his stumble drawing him directly into the horse’s path. 

For a moment, time seemed to slow. The animal thrashed above him, its front hooves coming down hard, directly onto Abel's head with a sickening crack. Then, silence—the kind that could make a man go insane the way it seeped into your bones, raw and unrelenting. The horse pawed at the straw with uneasy, jittery movements, its breath loud and uneven. Each scuffle of its hooves felt like an echo of the chaos that took place, a ghost of the violence that now lay lifeless on the barn floor. 

The oppressive tension lingered, heavy and unshakable, as Fyodor’s gaze shifted to the lifeless form. Abel was now crumpled on the ground, his body folding like a discarded marionette. The pitchfork lay a few feet away, untouched and irrelevant now. 

A scream tore through the barn as the witness finally found their voice. It was raw, piercing, and shattered the suffocating silence like glass. 

Fyodor flinched, a reaction born of necessity. There was no pleasure, no satisfaction in the moment—only an emptiness, as if he had simply carried out a necessary task. The rope had been placed just so, half-buried in the straw, waiting for the inevitable misstep. The horse, its reins had been untethered just enough for it to start galloping around. Abel’s demise hadn’t been a matter of chance—chance was too chaotic. No, it was only a matter of time before Fyodor took advantage of Abel’s rage.  

The scream was a spark, igniting a flurry of footsteps and hurried voices as others rushed toward the barn. The commotion fed on itself, a breeding ground for curious eyes and frantic questions. 

Some pushed inside, drawn by the noise, while others hovered at the edges, hesitant and afraid. A few rushed to Fyodor, their voices trembling as they asked if he was hurt. He played the role of the bewildered innocent, his hands clean, his expression clouded with confusion. 

“I…” he began, his voice soft, trembling just enough to appear genuine. “I don’t know how it came to this.” 

The barn felt smaller with so many bodies crowding its space, their overlapping whispers and gasps weaving into the lingering tension. 

Fyodor’s mind remained clear, though something twisted deep in his chest, an unfamiliar discomfort he couldn’t easily shake. 

The scene was immaculate. The horse’s agitation blended seamlessly with the chaos he had crafted—a tragic accident, nothing more. Fyodor lingered for a moment, staring at the wreckage he had orchestrated. He felt no satisfaction. No triumph. Only the steady weight of grim resolve. 

When the questions grew too insistent, a few of them gently urged him away from the barn, their hands hovering as if to steady him. He let them guide him, his steps measured, his gaze distant, his expression carrying just enough of a dazed quality to appear convincing. Yet, even as he moved, his thoughts were already elsewhere. 

They turned to you—the way your voice had trembled when you spoke of your role, the soft, resigned look in your eyes whenever Abel’s name came up. He almost felt pity for Abel. Almost. 

Abel was part of the cycle—a lamb to be led to slaughter, a cog in a system that would never change. But you—you were different. You didn’t belong to this hollow cycle of devotion and duty. 

And that was why Fyodor wouldn’t let you rot alongside them. 

The news left you reeling. Abel, dead? The words didn’t seem real. You hadn’t loved him—not the way a fiancé should love their betrothed. But your heart, too soft and too big, carried the weight of his loss as though it were your fault. Guilt tangled with disbelief, twisting in your chest. If only you had loved him more, would he have been more careful? The image of the horse flashed in your mind, its startled movements, its strength. Why hadn’t Abel been more cautious? The questions circled endlessly as you stepped into the church, the air pressing down on you like a silent rebuke. 

The apse feels colder without the soft façade your mother usually wears in public. Her practiced kindness is gone, leaving behind the sharp, calculating presence of the High Priestess. You’re not supposed to be here. You hesitate by the doorway, drawn by the tension in the air.  

Fyodor stands before her, calm as ever, his posture betraying no unease. He looks at her with an air of quiet reverence, his composure a sharp contrast to the tension that fills the room like a rising tide.

“Abel is dead,” she says, her voice cutting through the silence, deliberate and sharp, like the crack of a whip.

Fyodor inclines his head slightly, his expression shifting into something akin to concern, though it never quite reaches his eyes. “A tragedy,” he murmurs, his tone measured and solemn. “I was there, High Priestess. Tending to the horses with him, as requested. It all happened so quickly.”

“Quickly,” she repeats, her words laden with disbelief. Her gaze hardens, narrowing in a way that feels like she’s trying to pierce through him. “And yet, here you stand. Unscathed. Untouched.”

His lips part as if in a sigh, but his voice remains steady. “I wish it were not so,” he says softly, his hands folding behind his back, the imagine of obedience. “There were others who saw what happened. Abel was not himself. His anger… it was consuming him.”

Her eyes flash, the subtle narrowing of her brows the only betrayal of her rising fury. “And what of your role in this?” she asks, leaning forward slightly, her presence pressing into him like a blade against his skin. “What did you do to quell this supposed rage?”

“I stepped back,” Fyodor says, his voice a quiet confession, tinged with what sounds like regret. “To keep myself safe. The horses were startled. Abel was… consumed by his emotions. I feared escalation, and yet…” He lets the sentence trail off, as though the memory itself pains him.

Her hands tighten on the edge of the table, knuckles whitening as she leans further forward. “Convenient,” she says, the word dripping with venom. “How fortunate for you that his anger left little room for blame to fall elsewhere.”

He tilts his head slightly, meeting her gaze without hesitation, his expression serene. “I did only what I could, High Priestess. The others will confirm as much.”

Her lips press into a thin line, her silence growing sharper, heavier. “Do not mistake my silence for ignorance,” she says at last, her voice dropping to a low, dangerous register. “I know what you’ve done.”

For a moment, the faintest flicker of amusement dances in his eyes. It vanishes as quickly as it came, replaced by a carefully composed neutrality. “And I await proof, High Priestess,” he says, his voice unwavering but carrying an edge now, subtle but unmissable. “The truth, after all, always has a way of revealing itself.”

The room feels suffocating all of a sudden. You realize too late that you’ve stepped too far into the doorway, drawn in despite yourself. Her gaze snaps to you with the precision of a hawk catching its prey. “What are you doing here?”

“I—I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you stammer.

Her expression softens slightly, but only enough to mask her irritation. “You have duties to attend to,” she says, her voice firm. “Go.”  

You hesitate, your eyes flicking to Fyodor. He meets your gaze briefly, his violet eyes calm and unbothered, as if none of this concerns him. Something unspoken lingers in his gaze, something you don’t fully understand but can’t look away from.  

“I said go,” your mother repeats, and her voice leaves no room for argument. Reluctantly, you turn and leave, the door closing behind you.  

Her next words are muffled by the thick wooden door, but you can hear the warning in her tone, the anger simmering just beneath the surface. “And stay away from my child,” she says. There’s a pause, heavy and menacing. “You may have charmed the others, but insolence has its limits.”  

Fyodor’s reply is quiet, but there’s an edge of amusement in his tone. “As you wish, High Priestess.”  

You stood just beyond the door, your heart pounding as you strain to hear what comes next. There’s a long silence, followed by your mother’s voice. “Be careful, Fyodor. You walk a fine line.”  

The door creaks open behind you, and you jump back as Fyodor steps out. He closes it softly, his expression calm but unreadable as his eyes meet yours. 

“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” he says, his voice quiet, carrying a faint trace of humor. 

You flush, clasping your hands in front of you, “I wasn’t—” The words stumble out, unconvincing even to yourself. “I mean... I didn’t mean to.” 

He tilts his head slightly, his gaze sharpening, though his faint smile lingers. “No?” he murmurs, the word soft, almost indulgent. “Then why are you still standing here?” 

“I...” Your voice falters, the weight of his presence bearing down on you. The shame burns in your chest, but it’s tangled with something else—an aching need to know. “I was worried,” you admit quietly. “About what she was saying. About you.” 

His expression shifts subtly, something unspoken flickering behind his composed façade. “And why would you worry about me?” 

The question throws you off balance, and for a moment, you can’t find the words. “She... she doesn’t usually speak like that about anyone,” you manage. “And—” You hesitate, then push forward, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “Did you have anything to do with Abel’s death?” 

For a moment, there’s silence. Not the calm, expectant silence he so often wields, but something heavier. His violet eyes remain locked on yours, unblinking, as though he’s weighing every possible answer against the consequences it might bring. 

“Do you think I did?” he asks finally, his voice low and steady, yet there’s an edge to it—a challenge hidden beneath the softness. 

Your chest tightens under the weight of his question. “I don’t know,” you admit, the words trembling on your lips. “You always seem to know things—things no one else does. And she sounded so certain, like she has proof.” 

“Proof,” he repeats, almost absently, as if the word itself is a curious puzzle. He looks away, his gaze lingering on the shadows flickering along the church walls. When he speaks again, his tone is quieter, more thoughtful. “Certainty and proof are not the same. Certainty is... convenient. It can mask fear. Or doubt.” 

You search his face, desperate to read the truth in his expression, but his features remain infuriatingly calm. “So it wasn’t you?” 

This time, his hesitation is so slight you almost miss it. But it’s there—an imperceptible pause, a flicker of something in his eyes. “I had nothing to do with Abel’s death,” he says, his voice quiet but firm. “He was... a kind man. His loss is a tragedy.” 

His words soothe something in you, yet they also stir a nagging unease. You want to believe him. You need to. But the shadow of doubt refuses to leave you entirely. 

“I shouldn’t have asked,” you whisper, your hands twisting the fabric of your robe. “It’s not my place.” 

“Questions are not a crime,” he says, his tone softening. “But sometimes, they lead us to answers we aren’t ready for.” 

He steps closer, and you can feel the weight of his presence, the quiet intensity that seems to draw everything toward him. “Your mother is a formidable woman,” he continues, his voice barely above a whisper. “She cares for you deeply. But her care can be... suffocating.” 

You look up at him, startled by the edge of empathy in his tone. “She’s trying to protect me,” you say, though the words feel hollow. 

His faint smile returns, tinged with something almost bitter. “She sees danger everywhere,” he says. “Even where there is none. Her warnings... they’re for your sake, not mine.” 

“What danger?” you press, your voice trembling. “Why would she think you’re a threat?” 

He pauses, his gaze slipping past you as if searching for an answer in the dim light of the church. When he looks back, there’s a shadow in his expression—an emotion you can’t name. “Perhaps because I don’t fit neatly into her world,” he says finally. “People fear what they can’t control.” 

The words settle heavily between you, and you can’t help but wonder if they apply to more than just your mother. “But you’re not a danger,” you say, the statement more a question than you intended. 

His smile deepens, though it’s far from reassuring. “Would it matter if I were?” 

The question takes your breath away, and for a moment, you can’t respond. He steps back, the moment slipping away as quickly as it arrived. 

“I should go,” he says softly. “Your mother would not be happy if she saw us talking.” He steps past you, his presence lingering even as he walks away. You turn to watch him go, your mind can't seem to let go of the subject. 

“Wait,” you say, your voice unsteady. “What does she fear? Is it really you?” 

He hesitates at the door, his hand resting on the worn wood. “She fears many things,” he says, his tone almost gentle. “But most of all, she fears losing you.” 

He glances back at you one last time, his gaze lingering in a way that leaves you frozen in place. “Be careful,” he says, his tone softer now. “Sometimes, it’s better to leave things alone. For your own sake.” 

With that, he’s gone, leaving you alone in the quiet of the church.  

The preparations for the interment felt like a hollow ritual, a series of motions drained of meaning. You were no stranger to death—it was a quiet constant in your duties. Tending to elders who had lived full lives or stillborn children who never had the chance to begin felt like an extension of God’s will, a cycle you could accept.  

But Abel? Abel’s life was brimming with potential, his laughter still echoing faintly in your mind. To see him reduced to this—motionless, silent, stripped of the warmth that had once defined him—felt profoundly wrong, almost cruel. Yet beneath the grief and guilt, another emotion lingered faintly—a weight you could not name lifting from your chest, leaving behind an ache you didn’t dare yet examine. 

The river is calm tonight, its surface reflecting the firelight as if the water itself mourns. Abel’s body lies on a small wooden boat, his head covered by a white veil, his hands crossed over his chest. Flowers are tucked around him—delicate wildflowers from the fields, their petals already wilting under the heat of the torchlight. Gifts surround his body: a carving knife, a jar of honey, and a lock of your hair tied with a red ribbon. 

You stand at the edge of the gathered mourners. The High Priestess holds the ceremonial torch, her expression somber as she recites the prayer of passage. 

“May this fire guide you Abel,” she says, her voice steady, resonant. “May the waters carry you to the eternal embrace of the divine.” 

She hands you the torch, her fingers brushing against yours. You step forward, your legs trembling as you kneel at the riverbank. The crowd watches in reverent silence as you lower the torch, lighting the pyre. The flames catch quickly, crackling and consuming the dried wood and herbs. The fire comes to life, its reflection dancing on the water’s surface. 

Then the boat drifts slowly into the river, carried by the gentle current. You can feel the weight of their gazes on you as the flames climb higher, engulfing everything. The chanting grows louder, filling the night with its haunting melody. You bow your head, but your thoughts are elsewhere. 

Somewhere in the crowd, Fyodor stands apart. His face is unreadable in the flickering light, but you can feel his gaze on you. It’s like a promise, something you can’t sever no matter how hard you try. When you lift your head, your eyes meet his across the riverbank. He doesn’t look away, but you don't either.

The embers of the funeral boat glow faintly on the surface of the dark water, their light flickering like dying stars. You linger by the riverbank, unable to leave, even as the others return to the village. The weight of Abel’s death presses on you like a shroud. You tell yourself it’s the grief of the community—of your mother—but a deeper, more private part of you knows the truth. 

You feel relieved. 

The realization sits heavy in your chest, twisting into a knot of guilt. He’s gone. Abel is gone, and you will never have to kneel at his side, never have to smile through vows that made you feel small, never have to endure his kind, earnest gaze, so full of devotion it almost made you cry.

And yet, the relief doesn’t quiet the sadness. Abel hadn’t deserved this. He’d been kind, gentle, and undeserving of the violence that stole his life. You shiver, clutching your arms as though to hold yourself together. 

The sound of footsteps pulls you from your thoughts, soft against the earth but unmistakable. You don’t need to turn to know it’s him. Fyodor’s presence is unmistakable.

“I thought I might find you here,” he says softly. His voice carries no judgment, only a quiet understanding that feels too sharp against the tumult of your thoughts. 

You don’t respond. You keep your gaze fixed on the water, the last embers of the funeral pyre drifting away on the gentle current. 

For a moment, he says nothing more. He steps closer, his movements unhurried, as though he knows you won’t send him away. He stands beside you, his presence warm despite the chill in the air. “You shouldn’t linger,” he says eventually, his tone as soft as the breeze. “The night is cold.” 

“I know,” you whisper, though you make no move to leave. 

Silence settles between you, broken only by the faint ripple of the water. Fyodor doesn’t press you for words, doesn’t fill the quiet with questions or platitudes. He simply waits, as if he knows you need space to untangle the knot inside you. 

“It’s wrong,” you murmur finally, your voice trembling. “To feel this way.” 

His gaze shifts to you, steady and patient. “What way?” he asks gently. 

You shake your head, unable to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t feel relieved. I shouldn’t feel...” You falter, the words catching in your throat. “Happy.” 

“Happy?” he repeats, his tone light, as though coaxing the truth from you without force. 

You swallow hard, your chest tightening with shame. “That I’m not marrying him anymore,” you admit quietly. “That I don’t have to...” Your voice trails off, and you squeeze your arms tighter around yourself. “He didn’t deserve this. And I feel guilty for being glad.” 

The words hang in the air, fragile and raw. For a long moment, Fyodor says nothing, and you fear his silence more than anything he could say. But when he finally speaks, his voice is quiet, almost tender. 

“Grief and relief can exist together,” he says. “Feeling one doesn’t erase the other.” 

You glance at him, startled by the gentleness in his tone. His expression is calm, but there’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite name—a depth, a quiet understanding that makes your chest ache. 

“It doesn’t make you cruel,” he continues. “Or unkind. It makes you human.��� 

You lower your gaze, tears stinging your eyes. You want to argue, to tell him he’s wrong, but the words won’t come. Instead, you find yourself leaning into his presence, drawn to the strange, steady calm he exudes. 

“I didn’t want this,” you say softly. “I didn’t want him to die.” 

The silence stretches for a moment, soft and heavy, before you find yourself asking the question you’ve been holding back since the funeral.

“How was he?” you whisper, your voice trembling as you force the words out. “When you saw him last... what was he like?” You search Fyodor’s expression, desperate for something to soothe the ache that’s been gnawing at your chest.

Fyodor doesn’t flinch. His answer comes after a brief pause, as though he’s carefully turning over the words in his mind. When he speaks, his voice is calm, steady, yet imbued with a softness that feels almost kind. “He was troubled,” he says, his tone measured, “but he was trying to find peace in his own way.”

Your chest tightens, a bittersweet mix of guilt and relief clawing its way to the surface. “Troubled?” you echo, your voice cracking. “I... I wish I had known. I should have seen it.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Fyodor says, the words quiet but firm. His gaze holds yours, steady and unyielding. “Sometimes, people carry burdens they cannot share. His anger wasn’t about you—it was about the expectations placed on him. Expectations he could no longer bear.”

The weight of his words settles over you, heavy but grounding. Your throat tightens, and the tears you’ve been holding back spill over, unchecked. “I just… I wanted him to be happy,” you whisper. “He deserved that much.”

Fyodor watches you for a moment, before he speaks again. “Happiness isn’t always something we can give to others,” he says softly. “But he knew you cared. In the end, that mattered to him.”

You let out a shaky breath, clutching at the fragile comfort his words offer. “Thank you,” you murmur, your voice hoarse with emotion. “For being there. For trying to help him.”

Fyodor inclines his head slightly, his expression gentle but inscrutable. “It was the least I could do,” he says, his voice carrying a quiet gravity.

His words linger between you, heavy with unspoken meaning. Somewhere beneath the surface, you feel a current of something darker, something you can’t quite name. But you push the thought aside, holding onto the solace he’s given you instead.

And that night, you finally let yourself cry—small, quiet tears that fall into the stillness. Fyodor doesn’t move closer, doesn’t try to touch you. But his presence remains, solid and grounding, as though he knows exactly what you need. 

And as the last embers on the water fade to black, so too does the knot in your chest. It doesn’t disappear completely, but for now, it feels lighter. 

As swiftly as Abel’s passing came, so did the murmurs of his replacement. The inevitability of it clawed at your chest. Who would they choose? The question lingered, heavy and suffocating. You didn’t love anyone in that way—you weren’t sure you even knew how. But it didn’t matter. It never had. Love was a luxury reserved for others, not for you. Your duty to serve and protect stood above such things, an immovable force that demanded everything, leaving nothing for yourself. 

The sacred chamber bared the weight expectation. The candles lining the room burned low, their wax pooling like spilled offerings onto the scarred surface of the circular table at the room’s center. Icons glowed faintly in the flickering light, their intricate patterns seeming to pulse as though alive. 

You sat at your mother’s right hand, your presence as ceremonial as the candles. They had positioned you carefully—not as a participant, but as a reminder. A living symbol of the decision they had gathered to make. 

The council of elders surrounded the table, their robes pooling around them. Their faces were worn and lined with years of devotion, their gazes sharp with the weight of tradition. Their voices, low and murmured, weaved a thread of tension through the room, a quiet hum that settled in your chest. 

At the head of the table, your mother sat straight-backed and composed. Her silver hair caught the light like threads of spun steel, and her white robes were pristine as ever. Though she hadn’t yet spoken, her presence was enough to keep the room in balance, every elder’s words carefully measured, every movement deliberate. 

You remained silent, your hands folded neatly in your lap, your gaze fixed on the candlelight as though it might offer you some form of escape. 

The conversation began predictably, each elder taking their turn to speak with the slow gravity of a ritual. 

“We must consider their future,” one said, his voice rumbling like distant thunder. “The vessel cannot remain unbound.” 

Another nodded, her fingers steepled before her. “It is not just tradition—it is their purpose. Without a partner, their role is incomplete. Unity is required, both for them and for the community.” 

Their words surrounded you like a net, each thread tightening with every passing moment. They spoke of you, about you, but never to you. You were not a person here. You were an offering. 

The discussion turned to Abel’s death. 

“It was a tragedy,” one elder murmured, shaking his head. “He was a promising match. His devotion was unwavering.” 

“But it leaves us with an opportunity,” another interjected. “We can find a match that will strengthen their position further—someone who embodies not just faith, but leadership.” 

The High Priestess remained silent, her sharp gaze sweeping over the elders. Though her expression was serene, you could see the faint tension in her jaw, the slight tightening of her fingers around the edge of the table. 

And then, a new name entered the conversation. 

“What of Fyodor?” 

The murmurs grew louder, the elders turning toward the speaker with surprise and curiosity. 

“He is young, yes,” the elder continued. “In his short time here, he has proven himself. Devout, polite, eager to serve. He carries himself with dignity.” 

Murmurs of agreement rippled through the chamber. 

“He performs every task with care,” another said. “Always thoughtful, always measured.” 

“And the people respect him,” someone added. “The children adore him, and the elders speak of his humility. He has shown the kind of character we need.” 

Your mother’s frown was almost imperceptible, but you saw it. Her fingers tightened on the table’s edge, her composure flickering like a candle in a gust of wind. 

“He is still an outsider,” she said, her voice cutting through the murmurs. “A man we barely know. Devotion takes time to prove.” 

“But his actions speak for him,” one elder countered gently. “Even you must admit he has adjusted seamlessly to our ways.” 

“It is his seamless adjustment that concerns me,” your mother replied, her tone sharp. “No one adapts so quickly without intent. Devotion should be earned, not performed.” 

Her words hung heavy in the air, silencing the murmurs for a moment. 

You sat frozen, your gaze dropping to your lap as their words swirled around you. They spoke of Fyodor with admiration, of Abel with reverence, of you as though you were an extension of the altar itself—a sacred object to be placed, given, assigned. 

You felt your throat tighten as one elder leaned forward, their voice soft but deliberate. “Mother Maria, with all respect, we cannot deny the strength of his character. He has brought stability, even in the face of tragedy. Perhaps he is exactly what they needs—a man who can uphold appearances while serving the divine.” 

Your mother’s gaze darkened, her frown deepening. “Appearances are not enough,” she said sharply. “The vessel must be bound to someone who embodies faith and tradition. Fyodor is neither. He is an outsider, a stranger who has only begun to understand our ways.” 

Another elder shifted in their seat. “And who, then, would you propose?” they asked carefully. “Abel’s passing has left us with few options. The sacred vessel cannot remain unbound.” 

The room grew heavy with silence, the air thick with unspoken tension. 

Finally, your mother spoke again, her voice steady but cold. “There are others. Men whose families have served this community for generations. Men whose loyalty is proven, not assumed.” 

Her gaze swept across the room, her authority pressing down like a weight. “We will not make this decision lightly. And we will not make it tonight.” 

Her words were final, the tone leaving no room for argument. The murmurs faded into uneasy quiet as the elders began to rise, their robes rustling softly as they filed out of the chamber. 

You remained seated, your hands clenched tightly in your lap. The flickering candlelight cast wavering shadows on the walls, but the weight in your chest remained still, solid. 

When the chamber was nearly empty, your mother turned to you, her expression hard but laced with something else—something close to fear. 

“I will not allow this,” she said, her voice low. “You may think him charming, but I see what the others cannot. There is something... unnatural about him.” 

Her hand rested on your cheek, soft almost possessive. “You will be promised,” she continued. “But not to him. Never to him.” 

She rose, her robes sweeping the floor as she left the chamber. The sound of her footsteps faded, leaving you alone in the suffocating quiet. 

You stared at the candlelight, its faint glow reflecting in your eyes. You wondered if she was right to be afraid. 

Days passed, but the elders’ conversation lingered—a quiet echo in the moments you least expected. Would Fyodor be a good match? The question felt like a cruel jest. It didn’t matter, not really—not when your mother had made her feelings about him painfully clear. Her disdain, her insistence that his presence near you was sacrilege, kept him at an arm’s length even now. 

And yet, for all her hatred, Fyodor stood apart from anyone else. Abel was predictable, the others distant, and even you could only see yourself in fragments. But Fyodor? Fyodor saw you whole. 

And what he saw terrified you. 

It wasn’t just that he seemed to know you better than anyone else. Sometimes, it felt like he knew you better than you knew yourself. 

But more frightening than that—the thing you couldn’t admit, not even in the quiet of your mind—was how you reached for him in return. Like forbidden fruit, dangerous and tempting, he pulled you in with a force you couldn’t resist.

The embers of the ceremonial pyre glow faintly against the night sky, casting restless shadows over the clearing. The others have gone, their murmured prayers and reverent footsteps swallowed by the forest. You should have left with them. You should be anywhere but here, but the ceremony lingers in you like a weight you can’t shake off. The sacred blood on your arms feels heavier than it should, its warmth long gone.

You stare into the dying fire, hoping its last flickers will burn away the unease twisting inside you. But it doesn’t. It never does. 

“Still here?” Fyodor’s voice drifts toward you, as though he’s been waiting for the moment you’d be alone. 

His voice slips through the stillness, soft and smooth. You don’t turn. You don’t need to. Fyodor’s presence isn’t loud—it doesn’t crash or demand attention. It seeps into the space like smoke, slow and inevitable. 

“You seem to always find me,” you say, your voice quieter than you intended. 

“I wasn’t looking,” he replies, his tone smooth and unhurried. “It’s just that you’re always where I expect you to be.” 

You glance over your shoulder and find him leaning against one of the great trees that ring the clearing. The white of his robe catches the firelight, making him look ghostly against the shadows. His posture is as it always is—calm, controlled—but his eyes hold something sharper, something that makes your pulse quicken. 

“I needed a moment,” you murmur, turning your gaze back to the fire. 

“To think?” he asks, stepping closer. 

“To breathe.” 

“That is because you give so much,” he says softly, and his words cut through you with an unsettling precision. “But what does it give you in return?” 

You flinch, the truth of his question striking a nerve you didn’t know was exposed. “It’s not about what I get,” you reply, though your voice trembles. “I told you before...It’s my purpose.” 

“And who gave you that purpose?” he presses, his steps slow as he closes the space between you. “Did you choose it? Or was it chosen for you?” 

His words dig into you like thorns, and you pull your arms closer to your chest, as though shielding yourself from the weight of his gaze. “It doesn’t matter,” you say sharply. “It’s what I’m meant to do.” 

“But does it feel that way?” he murmurs, his tone softening in a way that feels more dangerous than his earlier sharpness. 

You look away, your breath hitching as his presence presses against you—not physically, but in a way that feels just as real. You want to step back, to break the pull he seems to have on you, but instead, you find yourself leaning toward him.

“The divinity that was pushed onto you,” he murmurs, his voice dipping lower, almost reverent. “It will stain your fingers and mouth like a pomegranate. It will swallow you whole and spit you out, wine-dark and wanting. And still, you’ll reach for it, again and again.” 

You take a shaky breath, your chest tightening. “Why are you saying this?” 

“Because you deserve to ask the question,” he says simply. “Because no one else will let you.” 

You want to argue, to push him away with words that make sense, but all you can feel is the ache in your chest, the way his presence seems to burrow under your skin. His words are too sharp, too close to truths you’ve tried to ignore, and yet you can’t bring yourself to step back. 

You glance at him, searching for something in his expression—mockery, cruelty, anything that might give you an excuse to dismiss him. But his gaze is steady, unflinching, as though he’s been waiting for this moment. It unsettles you, the way he looks at you. Not with reverence, not with the awe you’re used to, but with something deeper. Something you can’t name. 

“I should go,” you say finally, though the words feel hollow, turning away from him and started walking.

“Should you?” he says, his soft but relentless, stopping you in your tracks, “You are trying to flee from the truth.” 

The weight of his words pulls at something deep inside you, something you’ve tried to bury beneath years of ritual and obedience. Your chest tightens, your heart pounding against your ribs as you search for an answer, but none comes. 

“You let it take everything,” he continues, stepping even closer, “and you ask for nothing in return. Not even its mercy.” 

“Stop,” you whisper, though there’s no force behind the word. 

“Why?” His gaze burns into you, the intensity of it making your skin prickle. “Because you’re afraid of the answer? Or because you already know it?” 

The air feels too thick, too heavy, but you can’t seem to move. You lower your gaze, the words tangling in your throat as your chest tightens. “I don’t... I don’t want to—” 

“To think about it?” he finishes your sentence for you, his voice softer now. “I know.” 

His words hold no malice, no triumph. Instead, there’s something almost tender in the way he says it, as though he sees the storm inside you and knows exactly how to navigate it. It’s too much, and yet you don’t push him away. You tilt your head, giving him the space to press closer. Letting his words sink into your soft skin.  

Fyodor stands close now, his presence steady but overwhelming, like a shadow that refuses to vanish. His words linger in the air between you, carving truths you don’t want to face. 

“So, this is where you are.” 

You stiffen, the sound like a blade slicing through the fragile stillness. Your mother, the High Priestess, steps into the clearing, her purposeful gait as deliberate as the firelight still flickering behind her. Her face is carved from stone, her fury tightly leashed. 

“Mother,” you say softly, turning to face her. 

Her gaze doesn’t land on you. Instead, it pierces Fyodor, her eyes narrowing with a quiet, terrifying intensity. “Fyodor,” she says, her tone dangerously calm. “You have a habit of overstepping your place.” 

He inclines his head, his posture unshaken. “High Priestess,” he greets her, his voice a smooth undercurrent. “I deeply apologize, I wasn’t aware I had stepped beyond the boundaries.” 

She steps closer, her movements slow and deliberate, the weight of her authority filling the clearing. “You are speaking to my child,” she says sharply, motioning toward you with a flick of her hand. “That, in itself, is overstepping.” 

Your mother’s gaze flicks to you then, her expression unreadable but heavy with disappointment. “And you,” she says, her voice quieter now but no less cutting. “Lingering here with him when I warned against it. Have I not taught you better than this?” 

You open your mouth to respond, to explain, but the words die in your throat. “I—” 

“Silence,” she snaps, the single word ringing out like a whip. “You shame me.” 

Her hand moves suddenly, and you flinch, expecting a blow, but instead, her fingers close around your wrist. Her grip is ironclad as she drags you forward, pulling you closer to where Fyodor stands. He watches silently, his expression unreadable, though his eyes follow every movement with unsettling calm. 

“This ends now,” she says, her voice a low growl. “If you cannot respect the boundaries I’ve set, I will remind you of them.” 

Her other hand rises, striking you across the cheek before you have time to process her words. The force of it makes your head snap to the side, your skin stinging as tears spring to your eyes. You bite your lip, refusing to cry out. 

Fyodor shifts, a flicker of something—anger, perhaps—crossing his face, but your mother’s gaze cuts to him before he can speak. “Do you think you’re exempt from consequence?” she says, her tone sharper now, laced with menace. 

“I wouldn’t dare,” he replies, his voice smooth but edged with defiance. 

Her eyes narrow, and she steps closer to him. Though she is smaller in stature, her presence feels overwhelming, like the weight of the heavens pressing down. “Kneel,” she commands, her voice heavy with authority. 

For a moment, you think he won’t obey. The air in the clearing is thick with tension, the space between them crackling like a live wire. But then, slowly, deliberately, he lowers himself to his knees, his posture still calm, still composed, as though he’s granting her a favor rather than submitting to her will. 

Your mother circles him like a predator, her steps slow and deliberate. “You think you’re clever,” she says, her voice venomous. “You think I don’t see what you’re doing, creeping into my flock, whispering your poison.” 

He doesn’t respond, his gaze fixed ahead, but you can feel the weight of his composure, the way it unsettles her. 

She stops in front of him, her hands folding neatly in front of her. “I warned you to stay away from them,” she says. “You chose not to listen.” 

She raises her hand, striking him across the face with the same force she used on you. The sound is sharp in the quiet night, echoing through the clearing. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even blink, as though the blow hadn’t even registered. 

“Your defiance will end,” she says, her voice cold. “Do not mistake my mercy for weakness.” 

Fyodor tilts his head slightly, and though he doesn’t smile, there’s something in his eyes that feels like a challenge. “Of course, High Priestess,” he says softly. “I am yours to punish as you see fit.” 

His words are obedient, but the tone beneath them feels like something else entirely—something darker, something that tightens the knot in your chest. 

Your mother turns to you then, her expression cold. “Look at him,” she commands. “This is what happens to those who forget their place.” 

You lift your gaze reluctantly, your eyes meeting Fyodor’s. There’s no trace of the humiliation your mother intended to inflict, instead, his gaze holds yours steadily, the weight of it grounding you in a way you don’t understand. 

“Do you understand?” your mother demands, her voice breaking the moment. 

“Yes, mother,” you say softly, though your chest feels hollow as you speak. 

She straightens, her authority radiating outward as she looks between the two of you. “This is the last time I will address this,” she says. “Please do not make me do something I will regret.” 

With that, she turns and strides out of the clearing, her long robes sweeping the ground behind her. The silence she leaves behind is deafening. 

You stand frozen, your cheek still stinging from her blow, your chest tight with shame and something else you can’t name. Fyodor rises slowly, brushing the dirt from his knees.

“You didn’t have to kneel,” you whisper, your voice trembling. 

He glances at you, his violet eyes sharp in the faint light. “Didn’t I?” 

His words twist in your chest, but you don’t have the strength to respond. Instead, you look away, the weight of his gaze almost too much to bear. 

“She sees you as her lamb,” he murmurs, his voice quiet but firm. “But even lambs grow restless.” 

You shiver, his words digging deeper than you want them to. Before you can reply, he steps closer, his presence steady but overwhelming. 

“Go,” he says softly, his tone gentler now. “She’ll be watching.” 

For a moment, you hesitate, your body refusing to move. But then you nod and turn, your steps unsteady as you leave the clearing. Behind you, the air feels heavy, as though it will never truly clear. 

That night, you were restless. Sleep didn’t come easily, your mind replaying the scene in the clearing over and over again—the sting of her hand, the weight of her gaze, and the calm defiance in Fyodor’s eyes. You felt raw, stripped bare in a way that made your skin prickle even in the stillness of your room. 

You avoided your father as much as you could. His presence, always so quiet, so small in the shadow of your mother’s, felt unbearable now. When he glanced at you during supper, his eyes gentle and searching, you looked away, unable to meet his gaze. 

He didn’t ask what happened. He never asked. But you knew he could see it in the way you held yourself, in the silence that stretched between you like an unspoken confession. 

And still, he didn’t press. He never did. 

The house was silent, but your thoughts were loud, the echoes of your mother’s fury and Fyodor’s calm threading through your mind until they tangled together, like wire impossible to separate. 

Even as exhaustion weighed on you, you lay awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling the sting of everything you couldn’t say. 

PART III (tba)

Dividers: saradika-graphics

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Illustration by Alexey Dmitriev for Krylov's fables. The only imagine going through my head when thinking or writing about cult Fyodor.

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Masterlist

All of my works neatly laid out

TAGS(wip): For when you want to be cozy: #qt.fluff For when you want to be sad: #qt.angst For when you want to question existence: #qt.existence

Fyodor:

Fanfics:

Memento Mori

Ultima Sacrificium

Ubi amor, ibi dolor

Beata hiems—Holiday special

Creatura innocentiae

Headcannons/small scenarios:

Headcannon—Fyodor paints

When he leaves

Analysis:

The irony in Fyodor's words

Fyodor and lily symbolism

TAGS: When I try to be as close to canon: #qt.canon.fyo When I experiment with his character: #qt.exp.fyo When I get sucked into the cult AU: #qt.cult.fyo

Nikolai(wip):

Fanfics:

Headcanons/small scenarios:

Headcanon━Nikolai in winter

Analysis:

TAGS: Trying to keep him canon: #qt.canon.niko Trying to experiment a little: #qt.exp.niko

Dividers: saradika-graphics